WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.799 Welcome to Rooted Agritourism. I'm Dr. Liz Fidler 00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:05.040 -Murgan, owner of Sunny Mary Meadow, a you -pick 00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.200 flower farm, wedding florist, and event venue 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:09.660 in central Minnesota. Our mission is to serve 00:00:09.660 --> 00:00:12.759 anyone rooted in agritourism, value -added agriculture, 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:15.039 and rural entrepreneurship. The people turning 00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:17.620 ideas and raw products into thriving businesses 00:00:17.620 --> 00:00:21.160 and experiences. Let's dig in. Hello and welcome 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:23.660 back to another episode of the Rooted Agritourism 00:00:23.660 --> 00:00:25.820 podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Liz Fidler -Murgan, 00:00:25.820 --> 00:00:28.960 and today we are coming at you from, I would 00:00:28.960 --> 00:00:32.140 say... Orlando, but it's not that sunny out. 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:35.420 It's nicer than it is in Minnesota. But we're 00:00:35.420 --> 00:00:38.439 gonna do a Flowers Bloom Anyway episode. I've 00:00:38.439 --> 00:00:40.780 been sprinkling out these Flowers Bloom Anyway 00:00:40.780 --> 00:00:44.020 episodes and they're more related to personal 00:00:44.020 --> 00:00:46.679 growth and the grief and the book and all of 00:00:46.679 --> 00:00:48.659 those things that I have going on and I know 00:00:48.659 --> 00:00:52.979 that you guys have been... Amazing in wanting 00:00:52.979 --> 00:00:55.899 something to cheer for and so I have dr. Mark 00:00:55.899 --> 00:00:59.500 Hicks with me and Mark and I met last year at 00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:02.640 this same podcasting conference podfest Expo 00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:06.540 and We were on the same journey of you know, 00:01:06.540 --> 00:01:08.959 he republished his book with the publisher that 00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:13.359 I'm going with and Honestly, I can say that I'm 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:15.799 like, well, he seems like a nice guy and he trusts 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:19.159 them, so I guess I can trust them. But welcome. 00:01:19.459 --> 00:01:22.859 Thank you. Glad to be here. So can you walk us 00:01:22.859 --> 00:01:25.620 through a little bit, my audience understands 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:30.319 the backstory of my book and how it was going 00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:32.319 to be self -help and then it turned into this, 00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:34.560 turned into that. I have self -published a children's 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.000 book before, but the reason that I wanted to 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:42.430 go through Morgan James, a publisher. is to give 00:01:42.430 --> 00:01:46.810 my book the opportunity to be in the hands of 00:01:46.810 --> 00:01:50.590 more people and more people to find it and more 00:01:50.590 --> 00:01:53.250 people to reach it. And, you know, definitely 00:01:53.250 --> 00:01:56.689 the way to make money as an author, if you're 00:01:56.689 --> 00:02:00.810 just clearly chasing dollar signs, is to either 00:02:00.810 --> 00:02:03.230 self publish or buy a bunch of your own copies 00:02:03.230 --> 00:02:05.609 and resell them on your own website or something. 00:02:05.609 --> 00:02:07.810 But that's not my goal for this book. And I don't 00:02:07.810 --> 00:02:11.129 think that's your goal either. And so. Can you 00:02:11.129 --> 00:02:13.590 just walk us through a little bit how this came 00:02:13.590 --> 00:02:16.370 to be? Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's a winding 00:02:16.370 --> 00:02:20.689 road. I had the ambition and the dream of being 00:02:20.689 --> 00:02:23.030 a writer. I felt like I had some things I wanted 00:02:23.030 --> 00:02:24.930 to say. Didn't always know exactly what that 00:02:24.930 --> 00:02:29.669 would be. But as things came about, my book is 00:02:29.669 --> 00:02:32.129 Learning Love, Building a Life That Matters and 00:02:32.129 --> 00:02:35.340 Healthy Relationships That Last. The beginning 00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:38.800 of this particular book was probably at the end 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:40.800 of my first marriage. I didn't always know what 00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:45.780 I know today. And when I was young, I ended up 00:02:45.780 --> 00:02:48.560 in a very toxic relationship. It was another 00:02:48.560 --> 00:02:50.740 disaster. I still have the emotional scars for 00:02:50.740 --> 00:02:53.319 that one. That ended in divorce. And I really 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:55.379 hit a time that I wondered if love even existed. 00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:58.520 Or was it just something a few lucky people stumble 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:02.280 into accidentally? Or you look at so many people 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:04.500 that... Obviously, the divorce rate is high. 00:03:04.860 --> 00:03:06.780 But then you ask the question, how many people 00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:10.419 that are married are happy? And obviously, there 00:03:10.419 --> 00:03:12.060 are some, but there's a number of people that 00:03:12.060 --> 00:03:15.199 stay together for money or for religion or for 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:19.159 the kids. And so at a low point in my life, I 00:03:19.159 --> 00:03:22.159 was asking those questions. Is love really real? 00:03:22.340 --> 00:03:25.460 And so through that journey, the answer is yes. 00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:29.379 that there really is love. But it's not just 00:03:29.379 --> 00:03:31.300 fantasy, and it's not something you stumble into, 00:03:31.780 --> 00:03:34.840 that love is something we can learn. And very 00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:38.000 often we learn about love from our family. And 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:40.000 that could be a good source, but it may not be. 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:42.360 If we're raising a dysfunctional family, toxic 00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:44.800 family, abusive family, we're not really learning 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:47.099 what we need to learn to understand how to build 00:03:47.099 --> 00:03:49.280 healthy relationships. And so what I teach in 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:52.360 the book is how to build those healthy relationships. 00:03:52.539 --> 00:03:54.419 Even if we didn't learn in the family, or even 00:03:54.419 --> 00:03:56.240 if we've been through a divorce, been through 00:03:56.240 --> 00:03:58.819 toxic relationships, been through whatever we've 00:03:58.819 --> 00:04:01.539 been through in life, we can build those healthy 00:04:01.539 --> 00:04:04.240 relationships. And so... People have asked me 00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:05.960 how long did it take to write the book, and I 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:08.639 always say either three months or 15 years, depending 00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:11.620 on, you know, when I sat down to write it, it 00:04:11.620 --> 00:04:14.139 was in my mind. It went very quickly, but it 00:04:14.139 --> 00:04:16.600 had been in there for a long time. When I did 00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:18.720 write the book, I self -published. A friend of 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:21.160 mine helped me get it on Amazon and, you know, 00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:23.279 sold some copies, friends and family, and tried 00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:24.860 to promote it a little bit, did a few speaking 00:04:24.860 --> 00:04:28.350 engagements. But then... That book helped me 00:04:28.350 --> 00:04:31.850 get a job as a ghostwriter. My boss at the ghostwriting 00:04:31.850 --> 00:04:34.670 agency read my book, didn't ask her to, but she 00:04:34.670 --> 00:04:37.490 read it. And I was talking to her one day about 00:04:37.490 --> 00:04:39.189 a client that we were going to be writing for. 00:04:39.329 --> 00:04:42.470 She said, I read your book and it needs to be 00:04:42.470 --> 00:04:45.009 available on a wider scale. And could I introduce 00:04:45.009 --> 00:04:47.339 you to Morgan James Publishing? And I was like, 00:04:47.459 --> 00:04:50.300 yeah, that'll be fine. And so she introduced 00:04:50.300 --> 00:04:52.459 me to David Hancock, the founder of Morgan James. 00:04:52.540 --> 00:04:54.620 I pitched the book. He loved it, and he took 00:04:54.620 --> 00:04:56.519 it to the committee that makes those decisions. 00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:58.920 They picked it up, and it was published in June 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:02.579 of 25. It's been a wonderful experience to have 00:05:02.579 --> 00:05:05.639 it available on a wider scale like that. As you 00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:08.279 said, it's not about the number of books that 00:05:08.279 --> 00:05:10.740 you sell. It's not about the money. It's about 00:05:10.740 --> 00:05:14.160 the message. I have always wanted to help. I 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.069 feel like the world needs help. And I feel like 00:05:16.069 --> 00:05:19.329 as many people that will and can should do what 00:05:19.329 --> 00:05:21.569 we can to help. This is what the book is about. 00:05:21.629 --> 00:05:23.769 It's about building those healthy relationships 00:05:23.769 --> 00:05:25.730 that we all need. Well, and if you're listening 00:05:25.730 --> 00:05:28.930 to this, the majority of my listeners are, let's 00:05:28.930 --> 00:05:31.769 say half of them are either current or aspiring 00:05:31.769 --> 00:05:34.269 flower farmers themselves or building a business 00:05:34.269 --> 00:05:38.329 similar. And the thing is, I can tell you exactly 00:05:38.329 --> 00:05:43.069 when my business shifted from a side hustle into 00:05:43.389 --> 00:05:45.410 a sustainable business that was going to turn 00:05:45.410 --> 00:05:49.470 into a career. It was when I quit focusing on 00:05:49.470 --> 00:05:53.110 just the technical and looked at everything as 00:05:53.110 --> 00:05:56.310 a whole and looked at the relationships. What 00:05:56.310 --> 00:05:59.029 is going to be sustainable for my family? How 00:05:59.029 --> 00:06:02.709 can I show up better? And you can't put anything 00:06:02.709 --> 00:06:06.769 in life in a box. Right. When your relationships 00:06:06.769 --> 00:06:09.029 are better, it's hard to describe. But when you're 00:06:09.029 --> 00:06:11.689 calm, the way you react to things, the way you 00:06:11.689 --> 00:06:14.230 react to whatever it might be. Right now, the 00:06:14.230 --> 00:06:17.370 big buzzwords are mindset. And it's all just 00:06:17.370 --> 00:06:19.730 literally learning to love the people in your 00:06:19.730 --> 00:06:22.730 family, but your fellow humans and your fellow 00:06:22.730 --> 00:06:25.329 just anyone that you have any interaction. Yeah. 00:06:25.550 --> 00:06:27.790 In my book, I teach the five components of love. 00:06:28.269 --> 00:06:31.990 it breaks love down into an understandable way 00:06:31.990 --> 00:06:35.290 to practice love and that is true in marriage 00:06:35.290 --> 00:06:37.670 and family but it's also in friendships and with 00:06:37.670 --> 00:06:39.709 co -workers and those are obviously different 00:06:39.709 --> 00:06:42.290 relationships but the same principles apply of 00:06:42.290 --> 00:06:45.550 how do we build those healthy relationships and 00:06:45.550 --> 00:06:48.029 I mentioned that I went through a divorce when 00:06:48.029 --> 00:06:51.519 I was younger. I'm remarried now. And I've said 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.360 many times, I've had a bad marriage and a good 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:56.019 marriage, and good is better. We really need 00:06:56.019 --> 00:06:58.360 to work at building those healthy relationships. 00:06:58.759 --> 00:07:01.300 It gets overlooked about how important that is. 00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:03.800 But if we have healthy families that are actually 00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:06.560 happy living together and living together well, 00:07:06.860 --> 00:07:09.540 and we go to work and we have a love for what 00:07:09.540 --> 00:07:13.199 we do, and we have a love for our coworkers and 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:16.439 a connection there, and we can... build those 00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:18.720 healthy communities and we understand the principles 00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:20.899 of how to do that, then we change society and 00:07:20.899 --> 00:07:23.579 we have the life that we actually want because 00:07:23.579 --> 00:07:28.399 of love. So you have the experience piece. What 00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:30.740 are your other credentials to be talking about 00:07:30.740 --> 00:07:33.620 this? I have a master's degree. I do have the 00:07:33.620 --> 00:07:35.899 life experience. I've been through a few things, 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:37.500 but I have a master's degree in mental health 00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:39.819 counseling. I also have a master's degree in 00:07:39.819 --> 00:07:41.920 divinity and a doctorate in ministry. My doctoral 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.939 dissertation was on recovery, and I was for a 00:07:44.939 --> 00:07:48.000 time the director of a addiction recovery program. 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:51.620 Really, when you talk about counseling, we're 00:07:51.620 --> 00:07:54.060 talking about... We're talking about learning 00:07:54.060 --> 00:07:57.779 to love yourself, love your family, love people, 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:01.180 love humanity, to love your job. Whatever we 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:03.160 come back to, it's about those relationships 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:07.839 in ministry and spirituality and theology. It's 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:09.579 about love, it's about relationships, relationship 00:08:09.579 --> 00:08:11.660 with yourself, relationship with your family, 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:14.379 with other people, with humanity, with God. Whatever 00:08:14.379 --> 00:08:17.439 area we're speaking about, it's always about 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:20.100 relationships. Even in business, it's about the 00:08:20.100 --> 00:08:21.759 relationships you make, it's about those connections 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:24.579 you make, and loving what you do. Even though 00:08:24.579 --> 00:08:26.259 every job's a grind, you're not gonna love it 00:08:26.259 --> 00:08:28.839 every day, there's gonna be stuff, but learning 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:31.240 to have that emotional capacity to love what 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:34.299 you do and love your coworkers, and to know that 00:08:34.299 --> 00:08:36.559 you're contributing something to the world that's 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:39.149 positive. through what you do. This is how we 00:08:39.149 --> 00:08:41.570 build healthy lives. Well, I think that, you 00:08:41.570 --> 00:08:44.769 know, last year I still remember we were sitting 00:08:44.769 --> 00:08:49.049 in that room where Nick, the CEO of Podfest, 00:08:49.450 --> 00:08:51.129 Morgan James Publishing, was talking about how 00:08:51.129 --> 00:08:53.929 people write the wrong book. You were sitting 00:08:53.929 --> 00:08:56.799 next to me. I've talked about that moment. on 00:08:56.799 --> 00:08:59.639 my podcast multiple times. That was the moment 00:08:59.639 --> 00:09:01.299 that just shifted because he said, write the 00:09:01.299 --> 00:09:03.799 book that gets you where you want to be in five 00:09:03.799 --> 00:09:06.039 years. Imagine your life five to 10 years from 00:09:06.039 --> 00:09:09.059 now and what book gets you there. And that's 00:09:09.059 --> 00:09:11.200 why my self -help book never finished. That's 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.870 why it didn't feel right because I was sitting 00:09:13.870 --> 00:09:15.870 here trying to teach people how to grieve and 00:09:15.870 --> 00:09:18.409 I'm like, no, you know what? Let's let Dr. Mark 00:09:18.409 --> 00:09:20.649 Hicks teach people how to love and I'm going 00:09:20.649 --> 00:09:22.950 to teach people about flowers. And so my book 00:09:22.950 --> 00:09:26.669 turned into a memoir of just everything and how 00:09:26.669 --> 00:09:29.710 this came to be. And, you know, it just it's 00:09:29.710 --> 00:09:32.470 so true, you know, when it comes to podcasting 00:09:32.470 --> 00:09:34.830 or whatever. And I feel like, you know, this 00:09:34.830 --> 00:09:37.350 show itself, as you guys are listening, we have 00:09:37.350 --> 00:09:39.990 something really exciting coming up, changing 00:09:39.990 --> 00:09:42.700 to. you know the the series that we're going 00:09:42.700 --> 00:09:45.639 to do in interviews but right now it's okay that 00:09:45.909 --> 00:09:48.509 My podcast, I don't want to, Abby's like cringing 00:09:48.509 --> 00:09:50.250 when I'm saying it's on the back burner because 00:09:50.250 --> 00:09:52.190 she's like, what? But no, we're, we're still 00:09:52.190 --> 00:09:53.789 putting it out, but we're in a little bit of 00:09:53.789 --> 00:09:57.210 an intermission while I tidy up the loose ends 00:09:57.210 --> 00:09:59.970 of, I mean, my venue just opened in November 00:09:59.970 --> 00:10:02.309 and my book comes out in March. And you know, 00:10:02.309 --> 00:10:04.330 we're doing all these kind of in -between things 00:10:04.330 --> 00:10:06.789 right now. It's all about growth and taking care 00:10:06.789 --> 00:10:09.389 of things. And I just, thank you so much for 00:10:09.389 --> 00:10:11.029 being here, Mark. So what's the name of your 00:10:11.029 --> 00:10:13.830 podcast? Where can they listen? It's just a very 00:10:13.830 --> 00:10:17.799 calming. thing to listen to. I love it. Yeah, 00:10:17.980 --> 00:10:20.100 the book is Learning Love, Building a Life That 00:10:20.100 --> 00:10:21.879 Matters and Healthy Relationships That Last. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:23.940 I have a podcast, which is the Learning Love 00:10:23.940 --> 00:10:27.299 podcast, which is wherever you listen to podcasts. 00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:30.120 If you are searching for that, you can go to 00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:33.159 my website and my foundation. I have the Learning 00:10:33.159 --> 00:10:35.139 Love Foundation. There's a theme here. Where 00:10:35.139 --> 00:10:37.759 we do Learning Love Foundation, we do mental 00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:40.039 health education based on relationships, helping 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:42.019 people love what they do for a living, helping 00:10:42.019 --> 00:10:44.360 people love their family and how to build a healthy 00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:46.960 family. dynamics. And so we do workshops and 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:49.980 things of that nature in order to have that healthy, 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:54.080 happy, thriving life. And so you can go to learninglovefoundation 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:56.899 .com. You can find my podcast there. You can 00:10:56.899 --> 00:10:59.559 find links to purchase my book and all the stuff 00:10:59.559 --> 00:11:01.860 that we're doing with the foundation, learninglovefoundation 00:11:01.860 --> 00:11:04.559 .com. Fantastic. Well, thank you for listening 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:06.559 to another episode of the Rooted Agri -Tourism 00:11:06.559 --> 00:11:08.600 podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Liz Fidler -Murgan. 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:10.960 Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:13.220 this episode of Rudded Agri -Tourism. If you 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:15.039 enjoyed it, please leave a five -star review 00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:16.799 and share it with someone who would find it helpful 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:19.299 or inspiring. Your support helps us reach more 00:11:19.299 --> 00:11:21.940 rural entrepreneurs, dreamers, and doers just 00:11:21.940 --> 00:11:24.100 like you. You can explore all of our resources 00:11:24.100 --> 00:11:26.659 at sunnymarymetalcoaching .com, where you'll 00:11:26.659 --> 00:11:29.039 find each episode in blog form, along with free 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:31.360 resources to help grow your business. You'll 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:33.879 also find info on upcoming on -farm and virtual 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:36.620 workshops, classes, and courses. Be sure to check 00:11:36.620 --> 00:11:39.000 out our monthly membership, Foundations. of Peddling 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.039 Perishable Products, where you'll get access 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:43.840 to a full library of our original course content, 00:11:44.139 --> 00:11:46.440 plus ongoing support through monthly virtual 00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:48.779 meetups with others in the industry. Just click 00:11:48.779 --> 00:11:50.620 the link in the show notes or our bio to learn 00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:53.279 more. We'd love to have you join us. Until next 00:11:53.279 --> 00:11:55.559 time, keep growing with purpose and stay rooted.