1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Soften your senses. Ways to become a better speaker, listener and follower. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:20,000 This episode is with Steve Coscia from Coscia Communications and is a part of episode 110 of Did You Know? The ESCO HVAC Show. 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:29,000 I went for a job interview when I was 19 with a company called Maldese Construction Equipment. Mr. George Maldese was conducting the interview. 4 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:36,000 I completed my application form in the reception area. This was in the early 1970s, many, many years ago. 5 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:45,000 So on the application form it asked me to write down a few reasons for why they should hire me. 6 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:56,000 And I wrote the usual answers, Cliff, that I learned fast and I also wrote down that I worked hard and I wrote down that I got along well with others. 7 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:07,000 And I thought, man, this is going to lock me in. And then during the interview, Mr. George Malvise, he has my job application form right in front of him. 8 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:17,000 And then during the interview, he asked me a question. He asked, so tell me, why do you think you're so gregarious? And I was stuck in my tracks. 9 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,000 I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what the word meant. 10 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:30,000 Right. And when you're a cocky 19 year old kid like I was, and you get stuck in a situation like this, you have a couple of choices. 11 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:37,000 You can either admit you don't know what the word means or you could try to fake your way through it. 12 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:43,000 Well, I was that cocky 19 year old kid that figured I could fake my way through it. 13 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:52,000 After all, this is a construction equipment company. So gregarious must have something to do with stamina and strength and endurance. 14 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,000 And boy, did I get it wrong. Wow. And I didn't get the job. 15 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,000 So that feeling of rejection is a feeling nobody likes. No one. 16 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:10,000 So telling a story like this to a classroom of 19 year olds gets them to understand that, hey, life has lots of setbacks. 17 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:17,000 Life has lots of rejections. And we're all going to fail here at matter as much as what you do to recover. 18 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:26,000 And again, in the early 1970s, we did not have computers or Google, but we did have index cards. 19 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:35,000 We had index cards and we had a dictionary. So with the dictionary, I looked up the word gregarious. 20 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,000 So when I looked up the word, I got the definition. I wrote it down. All right. 21 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:45,000 So so writing down the definition for gregarious, I had one word. 22 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:51,000 But then I thought there's these other words I hear people using that I don't know. 23 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:59,000 So while I had the dictionary open, I took out another index card. I wrote down that word and the definition. 24 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,000 And then I did a third word and then I did a fourth word. 25 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:12,000 And before I knew it, I had this little stack of index cards and I kept this stack of index cards in the back pocket. 26 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,000 And every day I would just look at the index cards. 27 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:23,000 And whenever I had an opportunity to use one of those new words, I would do that. 28 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:37,000 And without realizing it, I was learning about application where you have the theory, the theory of a word's definition. 29 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:47,000 But the application is when you integrate that word into a sentence and with application comes knowledge. 30 00:03:47,000 --> 00:04:02,000 And at 19 and then 20 and then 21 years old, as I got a better vocabulary, what I started to recognize was as the vocabulary improved, so did the opportunities. 31 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:08,000 So did my relationships. So did almost everything else in my life. 32 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:14,000 But what did it start with, Clinton? It started with me and the recovery. 33 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:20,000 So we're all going to fail. Everyone gets there. But what we do to recover is what matters. 34 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:31,000 And this also brings up the topic of personal accountability, that we are personally accountable for our future success. 35 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:39,000 So when I speak about teaching soft skills to instructors and I do a fair amount of train the trainer for my clients. 36 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:44,000 So my clients are some of the biggest manufacturing companies in the world. 37 00:04:44,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Dyken, Carrier, Bryant, big companies. And when I speak about this, one of the things I teach is that when you start to convey messages to students without realizing it, you're getting better at it. 38 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 That we master what we teach. It's the way that we practice. And I know that we never feel like we know enough about something. 39 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:16,000 And what we need is someone to push us over the cliff. Just jump and grow wings on the way down. 40 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,000 And the way you're doing it may not be the best way to do it, but you just learn something. 41 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:34,000 Then you would dance, right? We master what we teach. Ty and I are pretty good at doing that for each other sometimes. We have a great relationship with that. 42 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:44,000 So here's the other thing that I have learned in time. No matter how much I think I know, over preparation is mandatory. 43 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:56,000 So when I'm traveling, if I've got to do a full day with a client, I'm up at 4.30, 5 o'clock in the morning, and I am over preparing. 44 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:03,000 I want to make sure I know every nuance of my subject matter, of what I'm doing. I'm not going to wing it. 45 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:17,000 Because you never know what can happen in the midst of a session. So for instructors, make sure if you're going to cover a specific soft skills topic, you think about your own experiences. 46 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:23,000 What stories might you be able to tell? Or how might you be able to convey the information? 47 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:35,000 Just by doing that and getting prepared, making notes for yourself, boy, that makes a huge difference. And even having props. You don't need to be complicated. 48 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Keep it simple for yourself, but use props. It helps to keep things interesting. 49 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:49,000 So I'm also a big believer in the practice that writing makes you a better speaker. 50 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,000 I agree. If you write, you will speak better. Why is that? 51 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:03,000 Oh, that's because when you have to write, you have to construct an outline. You got to think about the sentence structure. 52 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:11,000 And then you got to revise the sentence. And then you got to go from a 12-word sentence and write with greater economy, get it down to a seven-word sentence. 53 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:21,000 And before you know it, you've got a nice, eloquent, concise message. But the key is write what you know. Don't wing it. 54 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000 What do you got there, Ty? What are you holding up? 55 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:30,000 I got note cards. Yeah, I listen to you. I've been carrying note cards ever since. 56 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,000 That's wonderful. 57 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:36,000 You are the man. You are the man. 58 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:42,000 So if you write what you know, a couple of things are going to happen. 59 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:49,000 When you write what you know, you are telling the truth because it's what you know. 60 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:58,000 And here's the thing I have learned that I'm sure you two guys have learned also is that your students can always tell when you're not talking the truth. 61 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:05,000 When we tell the truth, it just sounds better. It just sounds more natural. So if you know it, write about it. 62 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:10,000 If you don't know it, first research it, know it, and then write about it. 63 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:19,000 But honesty just has a way of making us a lot more sincere. People like us more. It's just an easier thing to do. 64 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:25,000 So let me just use another application here that I use with my clients. 65 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:33,000 So some of my clients have people on the telephones and a contractor may call up and ask about an invoice or a work order. 66 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:43,000 And if the person on the phone doesn't write down the key details about the phone call and then starts to speak afterwards, 67 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:52,000 in the absence of the key details, they are speaking with apprehension and uncertainty. 68 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,000 Why? Because it's not written down. 69 00:08:55,000 --> 00:09:08,000 When you write things down and then you can see it on a piece of paper and you convey the information, you speak with greater authority and greater certainty that becomes audible. 70 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:16,000 So writing just impacts the way we speak. And it doesn't have to be a lot of writing. I mean, I've written books and articles. 71 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:22,000 But I assure you, the more you write, the better you're going to speak. It just works. 72 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:32,000 I don't have my cards here, but my notepads have been growing so extensively in this last year because I'm continuing to listen to my mentors that if I need to talk about something, 73 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:38,000 I should write it down first so that I have a chance to double check it. And my stacks are just growing. 74 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,000 I hate to throw them away because they're my own resources. 75 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,000 Some will say, remember when you were talking about this on that show? And I'm like, hold on, let me backtrack. 76 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,000 That should have been about 15, 20, 25 pages back. Let me go find that real quick for you. 77 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:57,000 And while you were saying that, Clifton Ty went over and reached all of his notes and he had a whole volume there. 78 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:06,000 A signature story is a story that is as unique as your signature. 79 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:12,000 Here's what that means. A signature story is a story only you can tell. 80 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:20,000 A story only you can tell that's unique. It happened to you. Therefore, if it happened to you, 81 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:29,000 you tell that story with all of the candor and honesty and enthusiasm that the students can hear. 82 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:34,000 And you'll hear me mention signature stories later on also, but they are the most powerful stories. 83 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:43,000 So that story about me being a 19 year old and not knowing the definition of the word gregarious is a story only I can tell. 84 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:51,000 It happened to me. Am I at the bar? Yeah. Every instructor has an inventory of signature stories. 85 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:56,000 I know they do. And they tell their story semester after semester and they work. 86 00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:05,000 And you want to be able to leverage your signature stories and use opportunities to develop even more of them. 87 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:17,000 Those are key things to do. Okay. And then the last one on that slide, if the signature stories is the power of interactive engagement. 88 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:26,000 So this is always a risk, but you have to trust it. You got to trust that students are going to learn from each other. 89 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:35,000 That's the trust factor. And sometimes I know what it's like to be a control freak because I like to have control over things. 90 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:44,000 But there is a time to relinquish control of the classroom and create an exercise and let people talk. 91 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:55,000 Those are key things to do. And when we do that, and the more we do it, the less fear we have, it's less of a risk. 92 00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:07,000 And you'll see how easily it is to engage with students. So something I learned many, many years ago by a mentor was if you want them to hear it, you talk. 93 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:18,000 But if you want them to learn it, they talk. Well, that's powerful. Yeah. This is the value of interactivity in the classroom. 94 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Getting people to work together, getting people to talk to each other, having an engagement exercise where those things really do work well. 95 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:33,000 So my message to instructors when it comes to teaching soft skills is to trust this. 96 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:40,000 I know it's a little bit of a fear factor. There's a risk involved, but it works. 97 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,000 And if it doesn't work well, the first time you do it, that means there's room for improvement. 98 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:51,000 Get better at it. And the better you get at it, the more students are going to learn. 99 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:57,000 They learn more when they speak to each other. And those are those are key things to do. 100 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:03,000 So on this one here, we're going to do a lot of information here in the classroom. 101 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:09,000 So some of the things I would advise tell stories. So like I'm doing here, I started with the story when I was 19. 102 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,000 We now know what a signature story is. Delegate authority of the classroom. You're delegating authority. 103 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:21,000 You're allowing the students to talk. You're allowing them to convey an experience. 104 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:26,000 And I'll get into this a little more later when we speak about student worksheets. 105 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:32,000 It's OK to do a pair share. So a pair share is what you do in a classroom when you just covered a point. 106 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:37,000 And now you say, OK, talk to the person next to you for 30 seconds. 107 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,000 Come up with two applications for what we just learned. And they do a pair share. 108 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:46,000 They talk to each other. And then you pick on pairs. And it's so useful in the classroom. 109 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:51,000 Props. So we saw the props already. Right. Index cars, props work. 110 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:58,000 But props could be spare parts. Props could be tools. Props could be almost our phone. 111 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:03,000 We love props around here, Steve. 112 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:09,000 So props work. Use the props. Those are the those are key things to do. 113 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:15,000 So this may not be everyone's comfort zone, but boy, is it mine. 114 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:23,000 I a gentleman named Alan Weiss from Rhode Island taught me about using flip charts. 115 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:28,000 And man, does it make a difference in the classroom. Markers, flip charts. 116 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:34,000 It doesn't have to be complicated. And you'll see when I show you a few examples, the simplicity of it. 117 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:40,000 So and then across sticks. So flip charts and across sticks, they can go together. 118 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:46,000 So what's an across stick and across stick is a word that goes from top to bottom instead of from left to right. 119 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:52,000 So top to bottom is an across stick and across stick of the word teamwork on a flip chart. 120 00:14:52,000 --> 00:15:01,000 So stay here. Stay here. So I'm not sure if anyone knows out there, but in commercial work and residential work, 121 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,000 teamwork is like the hottest topic right now. 122 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:12,000 Yes. Every contractor is trying to build an internal culture of great teamwork. 123 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:18,000 So I have been developing lots of new curriculum about culture, about teamwork. 124 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,000 And boy, it's such a hot thing. Everyone wants to talk about it. 125 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:27,000 There's pluses, there's minuses. And man, does it get cool, gets very robust. 126 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:42,000 And some of the simple things about teamwork is that everyone on a team should not be looking for the pat on the back when they do something right. 127 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,000 I mean, we all do things right all day long. 128 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:51,000 And Ken Blanchard in the one minute manager always said, you know, catch people doing things right. 129 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:56,000 And we like to get on the panel on the back. But sometimes it ain't going to happen. 130 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:08,000 You just got to keep going. And in the in the world of work is whenever we feel like we're part of a winning team, even without the pats on the back, 131 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:16,000 we get that internal message that says, man, nobody does this better than us. Look at us. 132 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:25,000 We are the winning team. And when one individual begins to feel that that becomes contagious. 133 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:36,000 So when I'm doing this out in a classroom, I will show videos about synergy and about being effective and what people get to see it in a video. 134 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:44,000 It's like real, real, real powerful. So you see the word teamwork, T-E-A-M-W-O-R-K from top to bottom. 135 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:54,000 And then the students have to go through my my textbook and find words they can write across the letters of the letters and teamwork. 136 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,000 And they sit there. They go through what words got a T in it. 137 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Someone goes, oh, attitude, attitude, got to tease. All right. 138 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,000 Write that down. And then someone goes, well, what's got an E? 139 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:10,000 And they start to do it. And you can see all the light bulbs going off. Yes. They go into the textbook that completing the across. 140 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Now, if you want to really have fun, you set a stopwatch and you tell each if you have like four or five students on one flip chart and you got four flip charts, 141 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,000 you say you guys have got one hundred and twenty seconds starting now. 142 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,000 And they're all going to the textbook and looking for words, looking to complete it. 143 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:36,000 And but what's happening here, what's happening here is they're thinking about what comprises a winning team. 144 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:42,000 And they're thinking about the words, they're thinking about the definitions, they're thinking about the application. 145 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:47,000 And you, as the instructor, are orchestrating all of this. What have you done? 146 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,000 You've relinquished control. You've delegated and they're doing it. 147 00:17:52,000 --> 00:18:00,000 So on the next one, you see the word courtesy, C-O-U-R-T-E-S-Y going down and the students have the markers. 148 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:06,000 And what are they doing? They're writing down words they see in the textbook concise. 149 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,000 So you may ask yourself, well, what does the word concise have to do with courtesy? 150 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:17,000 Aha. Well, being concise means not editorializing. 151 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000 So that brings up the question of what does editorializing mean? 152 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:28,000 Editorializing means knowing how to say less or knowing how to keep your mouth shut, being concise. 153 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:37,000 So how many times has a technician been curious about something and wants to ask a question, 154 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,000 but he hears that little guy on his shoulder whispering in his ear and the little guy is saying, don't say it. 155 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,000 Don't ask it. Don't do it. Don't do it. But what does he do? 156 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,000 He blirts it out anyway. And what happens? 157 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:53,000 He opens up a maelstrom because he should have kept his mouth shut. 158 00:18:53,000 --> 00:19:01,000 And so their instructors, when they're teaching soft skills, have to teach the students to listen to that little guy on your shoulder. 159 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:09,000 When that guy says, don't ask it, don't say it. Listen to the little guy. If you're not sure if you should say it, just don't say it. 160 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000 That's a key thing to do. 161 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,000 Steve. So we've got Coscia..com. We want to send people there. 162 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:20,000 We want to send them over to escogroup.org. Check out the bookstore. Check out the HVACR Learning Network. 163 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:28,000 Download the new mobile app that is available to access your courses mobiley now through your digital devices. 164 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,000 And my phone number is on the website. If anyone wants to call, feel free to do that. 165 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:38,000 All right, Mr. Coscia, we're so grateful to have you here with us. I look forward to more conversations. 166 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:43,000 Hey, great seeing you again, Ty. Always good seeing you, Clifton. Yeah, very good. 167 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000 This was a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. 168 00:19:46,000 --> 00:20:00,000 Well, thank you, sir. And we will see you all again next week on Did You Know? The ESCO HVAC Show. Bye, everybody.