Good morning, good afternoon, good night BFam Podcast.
Thank you for joining me from wherever you are and thank you for giving me your time
and listening in.
I've decided I'm going to do a quote of the day for every episode I do and today's quote
of the day is, we suffer more often in imagination than we do in reality and that's a quote
from Seneca.
Today's topic is going to be the difference between perfection and flawlessness and why
it's important to understand that difference.
Let's jump right in.
Perfection is easily definable because it's definable in everything that happens.
Everything is perfect.
Now I want you to observe your definition of perfect.
The standard definition or the definition you may be thinking of is something that has
nothing wrong with it or something that is, dang how can I describe perfect without saying
perfect.
Something that is great on all ends.
A perfect square.
Stuff like anything without flaw.
But no, that's not what perfectness is.
Perfectness is the natural order of things.
It's what everything already is.
It is perfect when we just let nature be.
Perfect is the universe defining itself.
Now the universe or God isn't one central being in my eyes.
It's really the consciousness of some higher power that reveals itself throughout all of
us and it shares itself throughout all of us with all of us.
We all are perfect.
Everything that has happened in our lives was perfect because think about it, we don't
know where we would be at today if the events that happened in the past didn't occur.
Every decision that you have made was perfect.
There's no such thing as a good or bad decision.
And I say this because when we define good or bad, we really only define it in the present
moment.
You know what I'm saying?
As it happens we try to judge it good or bad and then when we judge it good or bad we throw
it in that corner for the rest of its entirety of being.
But think about it.
Think about how many bad decisions quote unquote that you have made that have ended up or turned
into good outcomes.
Think of all the quote unquote good decisions that you've made that have ended up or turned
into bad outcomes.
You see it's really hard to define a good or bad moment because the moment doesn't just
happen and disappear.
The moment happens and compounds on itself into the future.
If we don't make mistakes how do we ever get better?
That's where I jump into flawlessness.
Flawlessness is a toxic mindset to get into because when you want to be flawless you want
to be without flaw.
You don't want any mistakes.
You don't want any blemishes.
You don't want any wounds.
But how will you ever learn from life if everything you do is flawless?
How can anybody ever tell you right from wrong or good from bad or give you any pointers
on how to get better if you believe that you're flawless?
It's hard to progress when you believe that you're flawless because you will hit a plateau
that causes you to almost digress in a way.
You see people who make mistakes learn from those mistakes and when they learn from those
mistakes they learn how to get better.
Making mistakes is like a pinball machine if you think about it.
You make the mistake, it hits you up, you learn something and you get somewhere else.
I know that was pretty vague but I'm sure you could paint the picture inside your head.
Being able to make mistakes is just one of the best things anybody could ever do.
Being okay with it.
Being able to accept it.
Being able to look at it and say, okay, I'm going to learn from this because a lot of
people make mistakes but they never learn from it.
You know it's easier to think about when you say, it's only a mistake if I don't learn
from it.
It's only a loss if I don't learn from it.
Because losses turn to wins and mistakes turn into progression.
Because just think about how far we would be if everything just worked out.
You know what I'm saying?
If everything just worked out we wouldn't be able to chase a purpose in life.
We wouldn't be able to have things to look forward to.
Because when I mess up I look forward to doing good.
But if I never mess up what would I look forward to?
What would be holding me up?
What would give me motivation?
What would keep me going?
You know what I'm saying?
The only reason we keep going is because we know it's a possibility that we don't attain
the goal.
We know it's a possibility that everything could go wrong.
We know it's a possibility that whatever we want to do may not work out at all.
Or it might be the wrong decision.
That drives us.
Because since we don't know we try to go find out.
That's how important it is to live in uncertainty.
Living in uncertainty keeps you on your toes not knowing the next move.
Because if you knew the next move why would you take it?
You already know what's going to happen.
If I don't know the next move man I'm for sure about to go see what happens.
It's like how people be in the movies.
They hear something.
And usually you know we'll be like I'm going to just run away.
But sometimes it helps to go see what that noise is.
Because if it don't kill you it make you stronger.
And if it do kill you what you going to do?
Be mad?
And that's another thing.
The fear of death is so I'm not going to say it's dumb but the fear of death is just so
time wasting and time consuming.
We could ponder all day about death or how I'm going to die or if I'm going to die today
or if I'm going to make it tomorrow.
It's so easy to.
But just think back to yourself and say damn if I die tomorrow what I'm going to do?
Be mad that I died?
There's nothing you can do because it happened.
It already happened.
There's nothing that you can do about it.
Death is irreversible.
So we better off just accept the fact that it's going to happen at some point.
We just don't know when.
You know what I'm saying?
And we shouldn't let the fear of death hold us back from living our lives.
We should take more risk.
We should talk to more people.
We should introduce ourselves more.
We should say hello.
We should check on people more.
We should check our surroundings.
We should sit in nature because we never know when it's going to be our last time seeing
it.
I don't know how many times it's been my last time talking to somebody and I didn't even
know.
That's why we got to watch how we treat people as well because getting upset and being mad
at people is a natural part of life but not forgiving.
That's unhuman.
We all know that if something was to happen to somebody that we love and we was quote
unquote into it and didn't want to forgive them or had some type of grudge against them
and then they died the next day, we know we would feel some type of way.
We know what we think about it.
We would blame ourselves.
We would feel guilty.
So it's important to be mad at people but also we have to forgive those we're mad at
or at least let go of grudges because you're just holding on to something that's pointless
to have.
It's like having small clothes in your drawer.
If you're not wearing them, give them away.
We hold on to too much stuff and that's what holds us down and that's what makes us heavy.
We all feel drowsy and depressed because we're holding on to too much.
If we just simply let it go, then we'll be better off.
It's a lighter load to carry.
You ever just sit down and think, damn, how much stuff am I holding on to, physical and
mental?
You ever notice the change in the mood when you clean your room or when you give something
away?
The more we give, the more we get in return.
So if you want peace, give peace and you'll receive more peace.
If you want money, give money and you'll receive more money.
You want clothes, give clothes away and you'll have room to bring more stuff in.
It's hard to clutter and clutter and keep clutter and sometimes we got to declutter.
So I don't know what you got to do.
Drive fast on the highway safely, read a book, write your thoughts down, something, try to
declutter every once in a while.
Because I know it's hard to do like every night, every day, every weekend.
Some people built to do that, but sometimes we got to sit down and stop moving because
when we move, everything else is moving with us.
Thoughts are moving.
Let's see.
Thoughts are moving.
Feelings are moving.
Emotions are moving.
Things are moving around us.
We become soaked up in what's going on around us that we forget that it's okay to sit still.
So when you find yourself in a rut and you just walking around thinking about, oh, everything's
going bad.
Everything's going bad.
Nothing is going my way.
So just let it pass.
Let it go.
Because a lot of the moves that we have, we bring upon ourselves.
We never really, nobody can ever really hurt us.
Yeah, we'll take the initial blow from a situation, but after that, it's up to us to let go.
Go back in your past and use it as a reference, not as a point of interest to go to whenever
you feeling bad for yourself.
Use your past as a point of reference.
That's why we got books.
Use your past as a book to learn from the current situations going on.
Because I promise you, nothing is ever going to come your way that you're not ready for.
Even if it feel like you're not ready for it, go back to your past and think about some
stuff that happened that you just had no idea happened.
And maybe your answer lies there.
That's what makes life so perfect because things happen and we won't even realize that
they for a future moment.
We think it's bad because it's happening right now.
Dang, my car broke down.
Just the worst day ever.
But it was a pile up on I-94.
You know what I'm saying, you would have got on I-94 exactly when it happened.
But your car was broken down.
You don't have a ride.
You know what I'm saying, think about that.
Think about how many times life has saved you from death.
We never think about that.
We're so stuck in our ways and our thoughts that we think everything bad that happens
is because life is against us or something is against us.
The universe is against us.
Nobody loves us.
Nobody likes us.
But if we sit down and think about the impact that certain decisions have made or certain
events have made that have affected a possible outcome, because we never know.
We never know.
And that's taking me back to my point about living in the unknown.
We never know.
Even if we think we know, we don't know.
Because who told you?
Anything can change in a snap.
Anything can change in a blink of an eye.
Every moment is happening right now.
The shit I was saying at the beginning of the podcast, I don't know.
I don't even know if it led me to say shit.
I'm saying it right now.
I'm just talking and I'm just going off the vibes of what's going on in my head.
And that's what we should go off.
We should just go off vibes, because everything is vibrations.
Everything vibrates on a frequency, a path.
It's all in the music we listen to, the people we hang around.
Everything has a vibration.
And to help you become aware of this, I want you to lock in and think with me right quick.
Think about the times that you've walked into a room and you felt the mood change around
you.
You know why?
Because that's vibrations.
Vibrations is the frequency of life.
Vibration is the part of life that we can't see.
We can only feel it.
And that's okay because reality is scarier than fiction.
And reality isn't just what you see.
Reality is also what you feel.
So it's okay to go with your gut feeling.
It's okay to do stuff because you felt like it.
It's okay to react off feeling, but be careful reacting off of emotion.
And that's the difference between emotion and feeling.
Feeling is that feeling you get in your gut and you're like, dang, either I got to do
this or I don't want to do this.
I want to stay away from it.
Your body will tell you.
Emotion is the reaction to the present moment.
Okay?
Emotion happens when a certain event occurs.
So you stub your toe.
You get mad in that moment.
You know what I'm saying?
That's an emotion.
You feel that.
That emotion is energy and motion.
Okay?
So you got to watch that.
That's, yeah.
That's what that is.
Emotion is energy and motion.
Okay?
So you got to watch the energy going on to know your emotion.
Emotion is meant to be observed.
Feeling is meant to be followed.
Dang, that rolled off the tongue nice.
Emotion is meant to be observed and feeling is meant to be followed.
But feel with your intuition.
Don't feel just, oh, I did that because I felt like it.
Actually think about it, but don't overthink about it.
Ponder on it, but don't dwell on it.
All right?
You got to be able to detach from the desired outcome.
Okay?
And I say this because when you attach yourself to one outcome, you don't leave room for anything
else to happen.
Nothing else is possible because the energy you put into that desired outcome determines
the motion that's going on.
So your body is going to be gone for only that motion.
But when you're able to sit back, think, and say, well, this is what I want to happen,
but I'm okay if something else happened because you know the universe is perfect enough that
it's going to bring you whatever it's meant to be.
So when you're able to adopt these mindsets and these thought patterns, life will come
at you easier because we can't control life.
Life is uncontrollable.
And the reason it's uncontrollable is because we don't know what's going to happen next.
If we knew the future, it'd be controllable.
But we just live in our predicted outcomes.
You know what I'm saying?
There's stuff in the future happening that we thought was going to happen and sometimes
it don't.
We're just living on what we predicted.
We got to be able to live without trying to guess what's going to happen next because
when you do that, you live in panic, you live in fear, you live in anxiety because you're
always worrying about what's going to happen next that you miss next.
When you're always thinking about the next moment, you miss the current one.
And because everything is current, you're never really doing anything but thinking in
circles, going in circles.
You never really progress because you're just going in the loop.
You're just looping and looping and looping.
Think about that.
Just think about how many times you psyched yourself up because you thought something
was supposed to happen another way.
I hope that makes sense.
We'll do a little, not a thought experiment, but we'll just do a little thinking segment.
Just think.
Think back to a moment where you've, no, no, no.
Think back to a moment where something has happened, an event, and you got so pissed
off that you missed the lesson.
I can think of plenty of times that has happened.
And without that happening, I wouldn't be able to point it out right now.
But I'm only able to point it out because I was aware.
I'm now aware of what was going on.
I pondered.
I thought back and I used my past as a reference.
I used my past as a book.
I didn't use my past as a hiding place.
When we hide in our past, nothing, we can't get anywhere.
It's like a burglar in your house, but you just hiding in the closet.
I mean, I know he out there, but dog, you got to start thinking of escape plans.
If you just sit there, he might just take over.
You're going to be there forever.
When it's scary, we got to think of ways to get out of those scary times because being
scared is just not knowing what's going on.
How can you be scared if you know what's going on?
Now, how silly is that?
How can you be scared if you know what's going on?
But the only way you're going to find out is if you go into them scary moments.
You got to actively try to find solutions to your problems.
I'm not saying you got to figure it out, but you got to try to find solutions.
Let me tell you what I mean.
You have a problem.
You don't just solve it in one step.
There's no such thing as a one step problem.
Well, sometimes it is, but the problems we talking about, they not one step solved.
When you have a problem, I know that's vague.
Just think about any problem you want.
It's not just a one step solution.
Same shit in real math, not just addition and subtraction, but same shit in real math.
It's more than one step to get to the solution, but you don't get there if you don't try.
So you just pick somewhere to start and you go at it and it'll be a domino effect leading
you to the next moment, leading you to the solution or the possible solution.
Because even when you get to the solution, you still got to double check.
You know what I'm saying?
When you double check, you got to put it back in the calculator with everything you got.
And if it don't work, go back to the drawing board.
But now you got to point a reference to work from because you started.
See, a lot of times we wait for the quote unquote, I don't want to say perfect moment
because every moment is the perfect moment.
We try to wait on the right moment, the moment, the flawless moment.
But dog, there's no such thing as that.
And I had to find that out the hard way because it's been times when I've thought to do something
and I just keep thinking on it, thinking on it, thinking on it.
And then I look up and somebody else can do what I wanted to do.
You know how gut rich and that is to see somebody else live your dream?
Don't let that happen, man.
If you want to do something, start today, even if you don't know where to start.
Go ask random people.
Go find a stranger to talk to.
Go read a book.
Google it.
We Google everything else.
Google it.
And go one step at a time trying to find a solution to your current problem.
Because if you don't start that project, if you don't implement that idea, somebody else
will.
Because thoughts don't wait on nobody.
Thoughts are universal.
Thoughts carry because thoughts are vibrations.
And vibrations move.
That's how sound works.
Vibrations are sound.
We just can't hear it.
We can't hear the frequencies.
It's not built for our human ears, but our bodies can feel it.
And our bodies feel thoughts.
And thoughts move.
They don't just stay in your brain.
Even if you think they do.
Everybody has the same access to information that you have in some way, shape, or form.
It might not be easily accessible or as readily accessible as it is to you, but trust me,
it's out there.
And it's a window to the thoughts that you have.
It's a window to the projects you want to start.
And it's a window to the ideas that you have.
The only way they're going to come to life is if you let them.
You got to put them into action.
You got to notice that you blessed enough to have the idea.
You got to notice that you blessed enough to...
What's the word I want to say?
You got the...
I'm going to say powers.
You got the powers to bring that idea to life.
It's in you.
It's in me.
It's in everybody.
We just got to go though.
We just got to understand that this is the perfect moment to start.
Right now.
Why you listen to this after you listen to this?
I wouldn't be mad if you was listening to this, thought about the idea that you wanted
to implement, and turned this shit off right now to go do it.
I would encourage you to do that.
Because to me, if you don't get through the whole episode, that's cool.
But I make these because I want to tap into you.
I want to help you tap into your own brain.
I want you to think about your own thoughts, but not overthink.
Ponder don't dwell.
I want you to think about your own thoughts and think about where they're coming from.
Who are they coming from?
What influences these thoughts?
What's bringing these thoughts about?
Why am I feeling a certain way?
Why am I feeling this energy and motion?
Why am I feeling that emotion?
Why is it happening?
Who caused this?
Was it me that caused this?
Was it an outside source that made me feel this way?
Is it something that I control?
Is it something that's uncontrollable?
Is it something that I just have to accept?
What's going on in my life?
I want you to think about that.
I want you to get out the, get into the world, get out of your head and get into the world
by getting into your head.
I know that's complicated to think about, but we just thinking, a lot of times we just
think surface level thoughts.
Dig deep, man.
I'm not saying you got to cross your legs and go, hmm, and make weird hand signals with
your hands, but I am saying you need to sit down and ask yourself questions.
You got to sit down and think, what am I doing?
Because life is going to pass you by.
Time don't wait for nobody.
Just like thoughts don't.
Time don't wait for shit.
Time will keep going.
That's just, that's the only thing, or one of the only things that we can be sure of.
Time and death.
We can be sure.
We can be sure both them shits going to happen.
You know you going to die and you know time going to pass.
What the fuck you going to do in between?
Because if you sit down and do nothing, everything can feel pointless.
That's where suicidal thoughts come from.
You feel like your life is pointless.
So go out and find your purpose because it's out here.
Even if you on here listening, saying, saying to yourself, well, I don't have a purpose.
I don't do nothing special.
You do.
I promise that you do.
I can see it in you.
Everybody can see it in you.
You just got to think about what it is because it pass you every day.
That's one thing the perfect universe going to do.
It's going to throw you hints and it's going to keep throwing them until you catch them
motherfuckers.
And one day it might just hit you in the head.
That's what an epiphany is.
See when you just suddenly get a thought, it's not because it's sudden.
It's because you, you've come to a realization.
You opened up.
You've opened up.
You finally see is coming to you because you may not realize that you're thinking, but
you are thinking.
You might not be thinking conscious thoughts, but you're thinking subconscious thoughts.
She is a whole nother world inside your brain that you're not even aware of that's happening.
Back to them surface level thoughts.
Those level thoughts is the consciousness.
That's the stuff you can hear in your head.
If you got a tiny voice in your head.
I'm not sure if everybody got a tiny voice in the head.
If you don't, I feel so bad for you.
Tiny voices in the head are so, so useful, but that's what I was saying.
Conscious thoughts are the tiny voices in our head that we can hear subconscious thoughts.
It's the shit that's working behind the scenes.
It's almost like a clock.
Think of how conscious thoughts will be the minute hand and the hour hand on the clock.
We can see that and it'll show us the time, but you know, we don't see the gears behind
the clock turning both of them off.
I can't hands on the clock.
We don't see that, but we know it's happening.
You know what I'm saying?
We just don't know how it's happening.
It's like not knowing that you know.
I'm not going to go too deep into it because I'm going to end up explaining my way up out
of it, but just think about the clock analogy.
Your conscious thoughts are the minute hand and hour hand.
Your subconscious thoughts are the, what are those things called?
Probably just said it.
The things behind them, like the screws and stuff that's working the clock, it's turning
the hands, the inner workings.
Yeah.
So whatever it is that you want to do, get out and go do it and start now.
You old enough, no matter how old you are, you old enough.
The perfect time is now because I promise you, if you just sit and wait for everything
to happen for you, it's never going to happen.
And if it do happen, that's a miracle.
Now I want you to listen to this.
If you haven't already clicked off.
When I say start now, I don't mean start now and expect it to be done by tomorrow.
I mean start now and start taking your time.
You got to be patient with this kind of stuff.
Do your research, but not too much research.
Understand what needs to be done and then pick a starting point and start from there
and just watch it.
Watch it fold onto itself.
Watch it work.
Fall in love with the progression of it.
Fall in love with it stacking on top of each other.
Fall in love with watching your dreams and your projects come to life.
Fall in love with that piece of life because that's what life is, experience.
Fall in love with the experience of life.
Do shit for the experience because in reality, nobody cares what you do.
Nobody cares what you do as long as it doesn't affect them in a negative way.
And that's a quote by Austin Enix, nigga.
That's my shit right there.
But yeah, nobody really cares what you do as long as it don't affect them in a negative
way.
It's a bonus if it helps them out in a positive way, but if it has no effect on them, they
don't give a fuck.
So really, you got free range to do whatever you do.
I'm not saying go out and do no crazy shit.
Don't do nothing crazy and then when the lawyer asks you why you did that, come to this episode
on the podcast.
But what I am saying though, go out and experience life.
Go do that.
And I'm telling you to do that.
Yeah.
I don't give a fuck if I'm not your mommy, I'm not your daddy.
I'm the motherfucker podcast, nigga.
Go out and live is what I'm saying.
Just don't be afraid of what people think or might think or will think or won't think
because nobody cares.
Nobody's thinking about you.
Nobody's thinking about theyself.
So get out of that thought, that thought pattern or that thought process that everything is,
everything is against you.
Because everything ain't with you, man.
Everything is happening for you.
So don't think about why is this happening to me.
Think about why is this happening for me.
When you think about that, you're more open to thinking about your thoughts.
You can make the most of whatever situation you got going on.
Everything could work out because you're saying, how was this helping me in this present moment?
What can I be doing with this opportunity?
How can I maximize this opportunity in front of me?
We got to learn how to get knocked down and get right back up.
Can't be worried about staying down and waiting on somebody to pick us up.
We got to pick ourselves up.
Be your own friend.
But wait, you know what?
I'm going to help you put this into perspective.
Think about this.
If you were your own friend, right?
And you saw how you operated, what would you think about yourself?
Real shit.
Now try to sugar coat it.
Look at yourself from a third person point of view and say, what would I think about
myself if I could see myself from a third person point of view?
What would I say about my actions?
What would I say about the shit that I get up and do in the morning?
What would I say about the shit that I put on?
Just think about it.
Because when you do that, you detach from babying yourself.
You detach from the ego.
You able to judge yourself in a way.
But not judge yourself in a demeaning way like, oh, I hate this, I hate that.
But judge yourself in a way, I'm going to get better today.
And that's how I'm going to do it.
Because you can see those flaws.
When you able to see the mistakes, you able to learn from them.
When you able to step back and see the error, you able to correct it.
Trial and error.
It's a thing for a reason.
Trials and tribulations.
It all happens for a reason.
Now I could go on and ramble about some more, but I want to keep it short enough to where
if you got inspired today, you could do something with it.
Because I really hope you do.
I want to see everybody win, and you should too.
I'm still working on the outro, so this time I'm going to just say I love you.
Yeah.
I love you, and I mean that.
Spread some kindness today.
Share a smile.
Make somebody else smile.
Give them a compliment, please.
I promise you to make your day better than everybody else's.
I love you.
Peace.