1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,440 Hello and welcome to episode 36 of the podcast. 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,440 I'm Michael. 3 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:15,440 I'm Noe. 4 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,400 And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,280 movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly. 6 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,760 We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show. 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,760 This is what we are covering tonight. 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,760 Shazam. 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,760 Fury of the Gods. 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:35,080 The exasperation tells it all. 11 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,240 But before we do, like, share, and subscribe to the channel. 12 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,980 You can enjoy the show on YouTube, Spotify, Rumble, Odyssey, and more. 13 00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:45,440 We also have membership tiers on those platforms if you'd like to support the channel. 14 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,640 Or you can choose buymeacoffee.com forward slash K.O.E. podcast. 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,120 But let's go ahead and get into it. 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,120 Yeah, let's get into this. 17 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,720 I'm sorry to have the excitement. 18 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,680 Whatever you have the exasperation. 19 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:05,000 Well, it's like, what piece of the turd would you like to eat first? 20 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,800 Is how I'm looking at this. 21 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,440 There's no good portion in this. 22 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,440 Which part of the shit sandwich? 23 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,040 Yeah, is the one I want to take a bite out of because that's all this is. 24 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:20,040 So you know how the DCU is considered a darker superhero universe than MCU? 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,040 Yes. 26 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:27,640 Well, I guess the writers of Shazam took that to heart because they did an overly up-to-date 27 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,640 upbeat. 28 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,720 Not even upbeat. 29 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:36,560 They went overboard into more light, into the lighthearted version, the action, the 30 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:41,520 comedy, the drama that mixes well in the MCU. 31 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,400 So it's like action and comedy are the top tier ones. 32 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,880 And then drama is a couple of tiers down, so it's not too high. 33 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,720 And that's how they do their little, that's the beats that they use to make a good show. 34 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,920 Or make a good movie or whatever. 35 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,320 And Shazam was like, hey man, fuck this shit, turn it up to 11. 36 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,680 And it went to the cheesy territory. 37 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,680 Like immediately. 38 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,280 I thought everybody would jump past Guardians real quick. 39 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,960 Guardians isn't cheesy, is it? 40 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:10,960 First one was, yeah. 41 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:11,960 I thought. 42 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,440 I love the first one when he reaches out for his mom. 43 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,400 Say, I got you mom. 44 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,400 They are leagues apart. 45 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:22,840 Yeah, that's how bad Shazam is. 46 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,400 Are we going into the 1960s Batman camp? 47 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,280 Of shark repellent? 48 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:35,920 I don't think we could ever go that way because the writers today, right? 49 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:41,800 They write to the audience and the society that we have. 50 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,600 Like back then, that was like normal. 51 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,280 Like, oh, it's such a good show. 52 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,240 I'm just saying, is it that far into the campiness? 53 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,320 In terms of like, I guess what's the word I'm looking for? 54 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,320 Inflation? 55 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,920 Yeah, it's one of those. 56 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,120 Like if you adjusted it for inflation, it'd be fucking Batman 1960. 57 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,920 Bam pow wham. 58 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,920 Holy bullshit, Batman. 59 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:10,760 I'll shit my pants. 60 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,720 First of all, you got Helen Mirren, the actress. 61 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,720 She's like 89 years old. 62 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,760 She's like the main bad guy. 63 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,560 Having a fist fight with a grown ass man. 64 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:26,000 It lacks it lacks all level of believability. 65 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 Nothing against Helen Mirren. 66 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,080 But I mean, you know, I mean, come on. 67 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,720 The crib keeper fighting Captain Marvel. 68 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:39,360 Basically, you got Lucy Liu, who's got some fucking legs on her in that movie. 69 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,720 How are you like in her 50s now? 70 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:42,720 Right? 71 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,720 She still almost looks the same. 72 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,600 She's still she's still got all the business. 73 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,760 She becomes the main bad guy. 74 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,040 Like off the bat. 75 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,920 Like right after Helen Mirren. 76 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,640 And then the main main bad guy is a fucking dragon made of wood. 77 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:56,640 Yeah, I'm like, what? 78 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,640 What is happening? 79 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,640 What? 80 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:05,600 Because they knew that it couldn't be Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu going toe to toe with 81 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,600 Shazam. 82 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:12,200 So they basically use them as a as a placeholder for the dragon being like the main opponent 83 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,620 that Shazam fights. 84 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:18,840 And I'm like, OK, why don't I just make a badass? 85 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,680 And it's not because they're women, right? 86 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:21,680 Right. 87 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,960 It's like it's just because they're just they didn't fit the like if it was a freaking 88 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,800 what's a good like what's a good female villain? 89 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,800 Or Talia? 90 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:39,400 Yeah, like Talia or like some I don't know a lot of female DC villains. 91 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400 Let's see. 92 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,400 There was Enchantress. 93 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,760 There was she was terrible in the movies. 94 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,960 Yes, they ruined whatever that fucking dance she was doing. 95 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:54,480 I'll never fucking forget to this damn day. 96 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,120 A good villain, female villain. 97 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,800 Oh, Proxima from Infinity War. 98 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,960 Yeah, one of those is kids. 99 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,400 She was a solid villain if it was something like that, they had some like but it was like 100 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,400 you can't expect to believe that you could even have somebody like Catwoman. 101 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,720 I don't know if Kevin would be able to handle Shazam. 102 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,120 It knocks her teeth out. 103 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,320 I don't know. 104 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,240 It was because maybe because of the actresses. 105 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,840 I've never seen them as an action. 106 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:27,520 They should have been some a new character, a new actress of, you know, a considerate 107 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,960 age to Shazam. 108 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:36,280 And so they put 85 year old Helen Mirren having like they had a legit fist fight. 109 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:41,600 And I'm like, you expect me to believe that even though she's a god, that she's going 110 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,120 to go to tell it is how you can get out. 111 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,600 That's the reason I didn't like Wonder Woman. 112 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,600 The first one. 113 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,600 Yeah, because the guy that played Aries. 114 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,240 Yeah, well, you expect me to believe this. 115 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,240 Oh, fuck is Aries. 116 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,240 That's actually the same principle I'm talking about. 117 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,760 Yeah, if I don't believe the person playing the character, I'm not going to believe that 118 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,000 there are threats to anybody. 119 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,040 And when you consider them in the comic books and stuff like that, like with the Wonder 120 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,600 Woman movie, like fucking built like a tank in the comic books. 121 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 Yeah. 122 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,880 And then the fucking movie, I'm Aries. 123 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:17,520 You would basically find that equivalent to somebody like Henry Cavill to play Aries character. 124 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:24,080 Or fucking if it was fucking Tom Hardy from, you know, the Batman playing Bane, he played 125 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,080 Aries instead. 126 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,160 I believe that he's built like a tank. 127 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,000 Aries is like, it's just not believable in the movies. 128 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,280 No, so I get what you're saying. 129 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:35,080 The actor was fucking horrendous for the Aries to the same for Helen Mirren. 130 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,880 It was the same for Lucy Liu. 131 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,320 I'm like, I do not believe you. 132 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,240 Maybe if it was Lucy Liu from Kill Bill. 133 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,240 Yeah. 134 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,240 Maybe. 135 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,280 See, Lucy Liu would have been a better character. 136 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,920 Somebody like X2 or something like that. 137 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,880 Oh, like the little, what's her name? 138 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,240 That was a good villain. 139 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:59,560 The, the, the, uh, from X2, the one that Wolverine fought with the fight with Lady Strike or 140 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,920 Lady Death Strike or something. 141 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,920 Lady Death Strike. 142 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:02,920 She was solid. 143 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:03,920 Yeah. 144 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:04,920 That was a good fight. 145 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:05,920 Or Emma Frost or somebody like that. 146 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,240 But no, they fucking picked Helen Mirren. 147 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:15,000 207 years old. 148 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,000 And then like halfway through the movie, she has like a, uh, an identity crisis. 149 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,040 She's like mean as fuck. 150 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,600 Like we're getting back at all the humans for what they did to our people. 151 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:32,080 Like apparently the wizards, the gods back in the day, they had had humans as basically 152 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,760 slaves to do all their bidding. 153 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,640 And then the humans were like, all right, we had enough of this. 154 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,240 They, the human wizards got together. 155 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:46,080 They stole Atlas, the great God staff, and they stole his powers, a bunch of the God's 156 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:50,800 powers, which was Shazam God, all those fucking different abilities. 157 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,880 And they locked their realm in a bubble and left them there to die. 158 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,400 Which has no basis in the comic books at all. 159 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,400 Yeah. 160 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,320 Well, we'll try new things. 161 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,720 And so they're trying to, so they, for some, for that reason, like, like we'll show you 162 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,560 how it feels to be trapped in a bubble and they fucking put Philadelphia in a fucking 163 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,160 force field of magic. 164 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,920 And the weird part is Shazam and them are just like all chilling. 165 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,200 All the people are living normal, like doing the everyday thing, right? 166 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,640 Some guy comes to Shazam like Shazam, what you gonna do about this dome? 167 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,680 It's like, I'm working on it, don't you worry. 168 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,720 She's like, you man. 169 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,000 You ain't doing shit. 170 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,320 And I'm like, why are you everyone? 171 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,400 I wouldn't be having a nervous breakdown. 172 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,400 Like do we have enough air? 173 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,600 Is there gonna be enough food eventually? 174 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,960 How long are we gonna be in this dome? 175 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,760 Why is the government nowhere near? 176 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,160 So they're stuck in a dome. 177 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,160 Yeah. 178 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,280 And there's no, when I look outside the dome, right? 179 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:54,240 I don't see any government forces or other superheroes or anything around the dome investigating. 180 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,240 Like trying to figure out what's going on. 181 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,240 Yeah. 182 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,240 The dome is just there. 183 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,360 And like there's no one, there's no outside. 184 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:05,800 Like in WandaVision, they had a government facility outside the sphere that Wanda had 185 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,760 encased around this little village or this little town. 186 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,960 And they were investigating what the fuck was going on. 187 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,360 There was nothing like that in the fucking Shazam. 188 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:19,080 There was just a dome, there's a dome in Philadelphia. 189 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,880 Now the sports. 190 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,880 And I'm like, wait, there's no one. 191 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:27,280 And on top of that, Philadelphia is close to Metropolis, is close to Gotham. 192 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,160 You don't think Batman would have some shit out there trying to figure out what the fuck's 193 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,160 going on? 194 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,760 Wayne Industries shit around that bubble. 195 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:33,760 I don't know. 196 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,760 And that's what got me. 197 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,800 Like I lost a little bit of points on that. 198 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,640 So no one's gonna, and the fact that all the people were chill about it. 199 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,520 It's a dome, this shit happens every Tuesday. 200 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,560 I'm like, okay. 201 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,840 That led up to the cornyness. 202 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,360 I mean, I get you. 203 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,800 God's walking basically among you, people like Superman and stuff like that. 204 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,920 But like, really? 205 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,400 Let me tell you the basis of their. 206 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:04,360 So they, because of Shazam or whatever that wizard's name is. 207 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,360 Shazam. 208 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,360 Is it Shazam? 209 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,860 Well, he was a human wizard. 210 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:10,260 He was the last of his kind that stole, that had the staff. 211 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,680 So instead of being a Lord of Order. 212 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,920 I guess. 213 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:19,080 And when they took the staff, they sealed off the realms from each other. 214 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,680 So they were trapped in that small God world. 215 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:26,480 And let me tell you how the new movie set it up. 216 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:34,120 Basically in the first Shazam, when Shazam takes the staff, he gives his siblings powers. 217 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:38,640 He breaks the staff that caused the realms to reopen. 218 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,360 And then he fucking tosses the staff to the ground, right? 219 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:46,320 The staff that had the power to steal the powers of the gods. 220 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,160 He fucking tossed it aside in the first movie. 221 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,040 It ends up in Athens, Greece at a museum. 222 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:59,160 The two sisters, Lucy, Lou and Helen Mirren, they get the staff and they go back and it 223 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,240 turns out Shazam's not, he died in the first one, but he didn't die. 224 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,800 Apparently he went back to his realm, which I'm like, if he's human, his realm would be 225 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,800 earth. 226 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,800 Right. 227 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,560 But he apparently went to the God realm and he was in prison there, right? 228 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,240 And Lucy, Lou has this ability. 229 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,440 She's a daughter of chaos or something, or she's got the powers of chaos. 230 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,900 She can whisper stuff in people's ears and make them do stuff. 231 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:26,520 She made this guy, she made this teacher for one of Billy Batson's foster brothers. 232 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,520 Yeah. 233 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,200 Like you meet him once, right? 234 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,200 The teacher. 235 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,680 So he's like, oh, I know that actor. 236 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:35,720 He's the actor that plays the voice for Batman in The Bold and the Brave. 237 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,720 Oh, okay. 238 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:37,720 Yeah. 239 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,560 So I was like, oh, I know him. 240 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:45,080 And he gets up to the, how do I fucking phrase this? 241 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,080 Okay. 242 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,480 So of course, if you've seen Shazam, I'm going on the basis that everyone's seen the first 243 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,000 movie or else you wouldn't be here or you're trying to figure out not to watch it. 244 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:59,440 And let me tell you, don't in the first movie, Billy Batson uses the staff to give all his 245 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,560 siblings powers as well. 246 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:02,560 They call them the Shazamily. 247 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,560 I look at the Wikipedia, it says Shazamily. 248 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,560 That's a family Shazamily. 249 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,480 Instead of the Bat family. 250 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,480 Yeah. 251 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,480 The Shazamily. 252 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,040 So they all have powers. 253 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:23,040 And one of his siblings, he's more into like being like Shazam's like, Billy Batson's like, 254 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,040 it's all or none. 255 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:29,440 So either they all work together to solve crisis or none of them go out. 256 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,720 But Freddy, I think is his name. 257 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,720 Yeah. 258 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,720 The younger one that's crutches. 259 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:33,720 Yeah. 260 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,720 He's like, I got to do stuff. 261 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,720 Like I'm Captain Everypower. 262 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,720 That's his name in the movie. 263 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,720 Captain Everypower. 264 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:39,720 Captain Everypower. 265 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,720 Oh my, isn't it Captain Marvel Jr.? 266 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,720 I don't know. 267 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:42,720 I don't care. 268 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,720 Oh dear God. 269 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,360 And he's up on the roof with this new chick that he met. 270 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,680 And the new chick turns out to be the third sister of the other two who brought him up 271 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:57,480 there to trick him because I don't know the process that they came to this idea was I 272 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:02,040 guess if they cozied up to, that's what I don't understand. 273 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:08,420 So they cozy up to Freddy because Freddy is the guy that has lunch with Superman and Shazam 274 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,040 at the end of the first movie. 275 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,360 So maybe if they get to Freddy, they'll know how to get to Shazam. 276 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,600 That's the thinking of them, I guess. 277 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:20,280 That's the writers giving the goddesses that idea. 278 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,280 Yeah. 279 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,360 Let's get Freddy. 280 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,400 Is the goddess Hecate? 281 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,360 It's a...fuck what are their...god dang it. 282 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,960 Is it the one where it's the old lady, the middle, the mom and then the younger sister? 283 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,360 No, they're all three sisters. 284 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,840 It's Hespera and Calypso. 285 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,840 OK. 286 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,360 Two dollars of the Titan Atlas. 287 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:46,080 Even the very beginning of the fucking plot of the Wikipedia says like they take it as 288 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,600 a wizard imprisoned in the God's realm. 289 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,440 You know what God I'm talking about though, right? 290 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:57,720 The one that's like a three part god, but it's the same goddess where she's like the 291 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:04,200 young person in the morning, the mother in the afternoon and then the elderly lady or 292 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,120 the crone in the evening. 293 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,120 Jesus. 294 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,360 That's the one I was thinking of. 295 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,360 Yeah, horrible marriage. 296 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:14,680 So they get Freddy, right? 297 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:19,120 And you find out that this young girl that just happened to fall in love with him and 298 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,880 he's like digging her, right? 299 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,200 It's like, oh, you actually like me? 300 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,560 So there and she actually does like him, which is, you know, you come to find out and she's 301 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,560 trying to keep him safe. 302 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,800 She just wants to know where Shazam is. 303 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:35,600 And well, you made a mistake and he becomes, you know, captain every power. 304 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,680 The two sisters come up, they fuck him up. 305 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,080 They take his powers immediately because they can take his powers with the staff. 306 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,080 Yeah. 307 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080 So they take his powers immediately. 308 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,640 He's back to crutches. 309 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,640 Yeah. 310 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,440 The teacher comes back like, what's going on here, Freddy? 311 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,200 He's like, get out of here teacher. 312 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:55,200 And Lucy Lou whispers something in his ear and the fucking the teacher's like, okay. 313 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,800 And he fucking walks off the fucking side of the building and jumps off and kills himself. 314 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,800 My God. 315 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,800 Yeah. 316 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:06,320 It's the most brutal shit I've seen this whole movie. 317 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:13,760 So I don't even know how to talk about this movie because it's so fucking haphazard. 318 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:14,760 Here's another thing they did. 319 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:15,760 The writers did. 320 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,000 They wanted to give some weight to Billy Bats, his life. 321 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,320 And basically the foster mom, he won't call her mom. 322 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,400 All the other kids call her like when they leave one day to go save the bridge, they're 323 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,400 all like, bye mom, bye mom. 324 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:35,960 And he's like, bye Mrs. better name. 325 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,360 Bye Susan. 326 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,000 And he leaves and she's like, oh, he still won't call me mom. 327 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,720 And the dad's like, don't you worry, hon. 328 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,040 He'll get around to eventually. 329 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:50,800 And that's the last time until the end of the movie they talk about that. 330 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,160 There's no weight to it whatsoever. 331 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,360 Because at the end of the movie, right? 332 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:59,640 When Billy has to sacrifice himself to save Philadelphia, she's like, don't you worry, 333 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,640 mom. 334 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,640 Oh God. 335 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,720 And she's like fucking angel wings and music and harp playing. 336 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,680 And I'm like, what the fuck does it matter now? 337 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,880 And then another thing was that he was going to be 18 soon. 338 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:16,240 So he's going to age out of the foster program and that the parents could barely keep a roof 339 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,520 over their head. 340 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,560 And if there's no checks coming in from the foster care system, you know, Billy's going 341 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,560 to age out. 342 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,080 He's like, I'll figure out what to do with my life. 343 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,800 And he needed that. 344 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,840 That story too just ties into them being called her calling the lady mom. 345 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,360 So you'll never age out to us. 346 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,360 You're my son. 347 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,800 I'm like, what the fuck? 348 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,360 There was no payoff because there was no buildup. 349 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,560 They just said two different things, right? 350 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,220 And then both of them at the same time wrapped up in the same fucking second. 351 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:51,520 So there's no worry about Billy, you know, trying to find a job or his future or trying 352 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,760 to find some kind of income level or something. 353 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:54,760 Right. 354 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:55,760 Or to do something, right? 355 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,760 Nothing throughout the whole movie. 356 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:02,360 And there's nothing about him trying to, you know, warm up to the foster family, the parents. 357 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,800 Like he's warmed up to the kids because they're the same age, right? 358 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,120 But he hasn't like, there's no buildup of him warming up to them. 359 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,120 Right. 360 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,160 There's no fucking reason for the either of those storylines. 361 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,920 It's like, why'd you even shove them in there? 362 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,840 Like, yeah, because that's what that's what dumb writers do. 363 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,720 They don't know how to write anymore. 364 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,680 So I'm just like, what? 365 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,520 Like you had no emotional attachment to that scene whatsoever. 366 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:29,240 Like then he has a weird dream where he's he's he's Shazam, right? 367 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,240 Yeah. 368 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,120 So he's going out with Wonder Woman and he's like, they're at a dinner, right? 369 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,120 He's in his full suit. 370 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,320 She's in her full Wonder Woman suit. 371 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,760 And like they have an argument, right? 372 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,880 But you don't see her head the whole time. 373 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,080 You just see like the bottom, like like in the Superman thing. 374 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,080 Yeah. 375 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,360 So you just think, oh, it's part of the little and I'm like, wait a minute. 376 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,680 And then like he turns around and it's the fucking wizard's head. 377 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,320 Like Billy Batson. 378 00:17:55,320 --> 00:18:00,400 Billy Batson wakes up like, oh, fuck, I nodded somehow. 379 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,400 What the fuck? 380 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,400 No, no, no. 381 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,400 The wizard. 382 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:08,440 He takes a cold shower. 383 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:14,880 No, the wizard had just a little bit of magic that he stole from the staff. 384 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,440 Was sending a message of Billy Batson. 385 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,840 You were a terrible champion that I chose. 386 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,920 I don't know what the fuck they decided to do the Wonder Woman thing. 387 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:28,400 But see, that's really awkward too, because you're, you're making it like the way they 388 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,720 wrote this movie, they make it seem like Shazam got all his powers from staff. 389 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,640 He did. 390 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,560 But in the comics, he did not. 391 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,840 Hey man, I just, I just, when I watch it, what they get, that's what I'm saying. 392 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:45,920 Like they took so many creative liberties with this thing. 393 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,680 It's like, okay, but this isn't even the same character anymore. 394 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,480 You took the names and likeness of them and then changed everything else. 395 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,480 I guess. 396 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,480 Captain Everypower. 397 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,480 Shazamily. 398 00:18:55,480 --> 00:19:01,960 And then like the comedy is just like, they tried too hard, too often. 399 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,360 And I just came off as a flat. 400 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,360 Yeah. 401 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,280 Now there's been a few movies like that. 402 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:13,240 Just think that like you said, it's like if you chose the inflation and added it to the 403 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,440 1966 Batman, this is what you'd get. 404 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,440 Basically the same. 405 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,280 You know, if you had inflation, the highest gross of movie all time is Gone with the Wind. 406 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,280 Yeah. 407 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,800 It's like $1 billion. 408 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,800 God dang. 409 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,800 They didn't have anything to do back then. 410 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,800 They watched Gone with the Wind. 411 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,800 It was a long movie. 412 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,800 It's like, but my dear, I don't give a damn. 413 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,800 That's all I know. 414 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:33,800 I don't even know if that's the right line for the movie. 415 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:39,840 I think it is though. 416 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,840 And then the Rifleman. 417 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,880 He throws a kid in the pond because he can't swim. 418 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:45,880 Oh, John Wayne? 419 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,880 Yeah. 420 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,880 That's just John Wayne being John Wayne. 421 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,880 That wasn't even part of the script. 422 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:50,880 It's like, fuck this kid. 423 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,880 So many memes. 424 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,880 Man, I don't know. 425 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,880 So yeah. 426 00:19:53,880 --> 00:20:03,720 So then, so the movie, the dome was there for a reason. 427 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,720 They wanted the dome. 428 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:09,560 So the sisters want this thing called the seed so that they can regrow the seed and 429 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,200 regrow the tree. 430 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:16,600 And because their realm is dying and the seed just happened to be this gold apple that the 431 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:23,800 fucking Shazam was just tossing around everywhere throughout the fucking Rock of Eternity. 432 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,460 They get the seed. 433 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:29,880 If they plant it in the god realm, it becomes this beautiful flourishing tree. 434 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,200 They plant it on earth. 435 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:36,780 It becomes a monstrosity that unleashes all these mythical creatures like ogres and harpies 436 00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:38,680 and stuff like that. 437 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,480 Stuff from like ancient Greece. 438 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,600 Unicorns for some reason, really dark black maned unicorn with the huge horns that hate 439 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,600 humanity. 440 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,120 I don't know, they love Skittles. 441 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:52,000 Don't ask me how I know. 442 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,640 So he ends up having the, so yeah. 443 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,040 So Helen Mirren's character gets portrayed by Lucy Liu. 444 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,680 Helen wants to just, you know, she was having doubts about what they should do. 445 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,800 So she and Lucy was like, I got no doubt. 446 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,400 So she has to drag and kill Helen Mirren. 447 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,960 And then they plant the seed in like the, in a baseball field. 448 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:20,720 And Helen Mirren's got control of the dome, so she shrinks it down to just encompass the 449 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,160 tree. 450 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,560 And then Shazam fights the dragon. 451 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,680 Lucy Liu's on top of the dragon the whole time. 452 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,240 She's got no real point to be there. 453 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,120 So I'm being honest. 454 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,000 She's just like, cause the dragon can't talk. 455 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000 She's the voice point. 456 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Yeah. 457 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,760 He, he, he, he, he, he finally gets the staff. 458 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,200 He powers up the staff by fucking throwing lightning bolts all over the dome. 459 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,160 He could have just kept shocking the, the, uh. 460 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,160 But he had to ricochet it? 461 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,160 Yeah. 462 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,040 He could have just took the lightning from his hand and just put it right up against 463 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,040 the fucking staff. 464 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,360 Instead he's like doing all this stupid bullshit that makes no fucking sense. 465 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,360 Let me toss it. 466 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,200 And then every time it ricocheted, it hits the staff. 467 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,040 I'm like, just fucking power the staff. 468 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,480 I'm like, Rick, you're fucking holding it. 469 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,080 What the fuck are you doing? 470 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,760 And he decides to fucking just ram himself into the dragon. 471 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:09,760 Kills the dragon. 472 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,760 He dies too. 473 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,760 Lucy Liu dies. 474 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,440 The mayor died a while ago. 475 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:14,600 The tree explodes. 476 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,880 All the animals die. 477 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,880 I'm like, what the fuck is happening? 478 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,400 What's dying? 479 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,920 So Billy Batson dies in it? 480 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:21,920 Yeah. 481 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:22,920 The fucking Freddy finds him. 482 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,920 You're not supposed to die. 483 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:24,920 Shabam! 484 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,920 Shazam! 485 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,240 He didn't do that, but he started going shabam! 486 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,760 Cause the staff is broken and lost all its power. 487 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,440 So Billy, he looks fucked up too, by the way. 488 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,840 They did a good job of looking at him dead. 489 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,880 I'm like, you guys made him look dead. 490 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,320 You did a good banger job on that one. 491 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,960 He finally did something right. 492 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:48,080 And they decided to bury him in the god realm, like a proper burial for, by the way, the 493 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,440 wizard, he's got no powers, right? 494 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:51,440 Without the staff. 495 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,000 He's just hanging out with the kids and just like, they're just going around doing stuff 496 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,640 during this whole third act debacle. 497 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:03,840 So it's like, they're trying to keep people safe from the mythical monsters. 498 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,880 So the kids go one way because they want to get the king of the animals is the unicorns. 499 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,720 If you get the unicorn on your side, they can kill all the other monsters. 500 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,060 That was their thinking. 501 00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:14,200 So the kids go that way. 502 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,920 The wizard's like, I'm going to go with them. 503 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,640 And the mom and dad, they go their own way. 504 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:18,640 I don't know. 505 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,640 I don't know. 506 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,200 They all say they split up for no reason. 507 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:28,880 And the wizard says like, well, without a god, we can't power the staff anymore. 508 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:29,880 So you have a god. 509 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,320 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. 510 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,640 Fucking Wonder Woman comes out of nowhere. 511 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:40,200 I'm like, now I know why the MCU doesn't have heroes cross over that often, unless it's 512 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,200 a big movie. 513 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,080 Because it completely did away with everything when she came in. 514 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,000 So here, let me power the staff. 515 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,000 Boom, power staff. 516 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,280 Oh, let me plant this tree. 517 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,280 Oh, the tree's flourishing. 518 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,040 Oh, let me bring Billy back to life. 519 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,040 He's alive. 520 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,040 And I'm like, what the fuck? 521 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,760 She's in all that shit like 30 seconds. 522 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,760 Like just ruin the whole movie? 523 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,760 Yeah, I'm like, well, OK. 524 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,760 Back to life. 525 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,760 Yeah. 526 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,240 And then I'm like, I'm full Shazam gear. 527 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,720 So guys, did you bear me? 528 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,000 I'm fucking afraid I was a zombie. 529 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,720 I had to hit him with his cane. 530 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,040 All the kids get the powers back, I think. 531 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,280 I can't remember that part. 532 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,280 Billy. 533 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,800 OK, so basically what you're saying is that this entire movie has no consequences. 534 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,240 And in the end, Wonder Woman would have saved the day anyway. 535 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,240 Yeah. 536 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,640 In a nutshell, yes. 537 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:27,640 She's got a banger song down. 538 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,640 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. 539 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:33,720 If I went out with Wonder Woman, that'd be the song that I'd play when she called me 540 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,000 That's my baby girl, Wonder Woman. 541 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000 What's up, baby girl? 542 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:43,000 That was pretty funny. 543 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000 I have to keep her separate from Supergirl. 544 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,880 One of those is my side piece with her soft slide. 545 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:57,840 I don't know, like, I don't know why they didn't need the Wonder Woman cameo, but I 546 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,320 mean, they didn't have any way to empower the staff. 547 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,840 She was the last living god. 548 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,840 Helen is dead. 549 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,840 Helen Mirren is dead. 550 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:05,840 Lucy Liu is dead. 551 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:06,840 The dragon is dead. 552 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,920 Their third sister, she got her powers stolen by Lucy Liu, so she didn't have any more 553 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:11,920 powers. 554 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:12,920 And she had some weird powers. 555 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,400 She had like, she could play Tetris with like reality. 556 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,400 I don't know. 557 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,400 I don't know. 558 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,400 I don't know. 559 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,400 I don't know what the fuck it was. 560 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:27,640 I can tell if this movie confused the fuck out of you in times. 561 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,640 Everything confused me. 562 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,320 You know, the most confusing movie is Inception and Tenant. 563 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,080 And they're both made by the same writer. 564 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,400 And they both supposedly got all these awards. 565 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,400 Awards for what? 566 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,400 I do not know. 567 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,480 We can't breathe when we go back when we flip when we go reverse time. 568 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:43,880 Let me mean you can't breathe reverse time. 569 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,880 What the fuck is happening? 570 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:47,880 Ow. 571 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,120 My head hurts thinking about Tenant. 572 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,080 Surprisingly, I've never seen it. 573 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,520 So for you, this is the beginning. 574 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,040 For me, this is the end of a long friendship. 575 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,040 I'm Robert Patterson. 576 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:09,640 I have quite the cash in my head of movies that I could just bring up randomly for no 577 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,640 reason. 578 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:11,640 For literally no reason. 579 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:17,320 Well, if it's pertinent to the situation, then I feel like I could add some extra layer 580 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,320 to what I'm saying. 581 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,880 As long as I have my... 582 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,400 It's been the whole time, right? 583 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,360 They don't know what their superhero name is. 584 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,800 And then the wizard's like, sugar. 585 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,080 Then he leaves. 586 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:37,080 Apparently, the wizard, now that he's a modern, right? 587 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,080 He's got no beard anymore. 588 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,080 He's wearing... 589 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,280 He was dripping at the end of the movie. 590 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,440 He was just like, God, he was like, I don't know where he got these clothes from, but 591 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,560 he was fucking raking the ladies in. 592 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:49,920 What would he look like? 593 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,800 I just came to get the staff. 594 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,960 I'm just too hot as fuck right now. 595 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,960 Fucking leaves. 596 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,960 They ask him, what's the hero name? 597 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,520 I was just shazam. 598 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,080 I can tell this is a very, very corny movie. 599 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,920 You can tell I'm so... 600 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,480 Because I wasn't planning on talking about Shazam, but it all just bubbled up thinking 601 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,480 about it. 602 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,480 Because I don't have my notes with me when I talk about a movie. 603 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,360 I watch it at least twice. 604 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:16,360 The second time is the note. 605 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,520 I wouldn't watch it one time because there's two end credit scenes, right? 606 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,720 I fucking fucked up before I saw both of them. 607 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,880 I don't even know what the fuck they are. 608 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,680 I know one of them, they're trying to get Shazam to be part of the JSA. 609 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:31,680 He's like, nah. 610 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,440 And then the other one's got the bad guy from the first movie talking to some slug. 611 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,880 Oh my God. 612 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:38,880 Yeah. 613 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,920 So, what you're rating for it? 614 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:47,920 There's not a low enough number in the human concept of numbering that I could rate this. 615 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,560 Well, that's the thing then. 616 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,120 Don't watch it if you haven't seen it. 617 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,120 But watch it anyway. 618 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,720 But you say watch everything. 619 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,480 Yeah, so watch it anyway. 620 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,480 If I gotta see it, you gotta see it too. 621 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,960 Also, you had a correction for what? 622 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:06,960 The MCU? 623 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,960 Yeah, so episode 34? 624 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,880 Yeah, I think 34. 625 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:19,520 I talked about the MCU and how you should watch every episode or every movie, TV show 626 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:20,520 in order. 627 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:25,640 Well, Disney Plus and fucking Hulu decided to take away the runaways so you can take 628 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,920 those two off your list. 629 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,600 I went to go back and look for them and they were gone. 630 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,160 Just completely fucked it up. 631 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,640 So I guess they don't count as canon. 632 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,360 So you don't have to worry about that show. 633 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:42,680 I see that's why list episodes are hard to do. 634 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,680 Yeah. 635 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,000 Because they always change some shit and say, oh, that ain't canon no more. 636 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Yeah. 637 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:52,400 Kind of like the way they did with the Star Wars books, the chapter books that were released 638 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,400 after the fact. 639 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,400 Oh yeah, they're all non-canon. 640 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,400 They're all non-canon now. 641 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,600 They're like hundreds of comic books and books. 642 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:03,480 And they were all canon at one point where it was literally a canon series after, like 643 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:09,920 where Darth Vader was the apparition version of Darth Vader to where he was still leading 644 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,360 Luke down the roads and stuff like that within the chapter books. 645 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,200 And then just gone. 646 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,500 No more. 647 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,560 Now we have, what's her name? 648 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:19,560 Ray? 649 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:20,560 Yeah. 650 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,320 And they needed to work on her character more. 651 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,360 Good luck with that one. 652 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,600 They did it way too fast and they didn't do it in a proper, I don't know. 653 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:37,280 Well they've already ruined two of, what's his name, Harrison Ford's characters? 654 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:38,760 Only has two. 655 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:39,760 I know. 656 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:40,760 Han Solo and Indiana Jones. 657 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,920 But have you heard the things that are coming out about Indiana Jones? 658 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:44,920 Not my Indy. 659 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,960 It's supposed to be, watch it and then you'll call me sopping again. 660 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,560 Watch it, we're both going to go see it in theaters. 661 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,560 Oh God. 662 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,600 I'll tell you at the flicks. 663 00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:00,640 You're going to make me kill myself in the theater. 664 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,920 I'm going to keep my hand raised the whole time. 665 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:09,920 You'll be the last person to drink. 666 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:14,200 To be fair, Indiana Jones should have actually, talk about retcon. 667 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:19,800 There was a show called the Young Adventures of Indiana Jones and it had this old guy that 668 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:25,240 was, this 93 year old guy that played Indiana Jones at 93 who would like, narrate a little 669 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,240 bit. 670 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,920 He would like teach a little bit of history and then you would see some of his, he talked 671 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,760 about some of his younger adventures. 672 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:37,520 Apparently when they brought that show to Disney Plus, they cut out all the old man's 673 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:38,520 parts. 674 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:39,520 Really? 675 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,680 Because now Harrison Ford's that age. 676 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:43,840 So they retconned it. 677 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,720 He's only in one of those episodes of the old show where he plays an older version of 678 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,160 himself but now he is that older version of himself. 679 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:56,720 So if you go back, you can't see this original actor's take on Indiana Jones because apparently 680 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,800 there can only be one Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, even though there's a younger version 681 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,800 of him playing Indiana Jones. 682 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:01,800 Doesn't make much sense. 683 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,680 And in the third movie there was a young version of the guy playing Indiana Jones. 684 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:10,040 So apparently multiple people can play Indiana Jones. 685 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,680 But for whatever reason, only Harrison Ford can play Indiana Jones. 686 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,080 That's what doesn't make any sense to me. 687 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,960 It's like he's pushing the age now, so now it's like, well, damn it. 688 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,840 Now we actually have the old Indiana Jones. 689 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:22,840 Yeah, basically. 690 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:23,840 Son of a bitch. 691 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:24,840 Now we're stuck. 692 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,360 Now wait till the AI gets advanced enough. 693 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,400 There'll be like 35 Indiana Jones movies every year. 694 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,080 Just boom, boom. 695 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,080 Just have a freaking AI do it. 696 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,080 Yeah. 697 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,080 Those are some good movies. 698 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,200 I wish I could make an Indiana Jones movie. 699 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,200 What did you think of The Crystal Skull? 700 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,200 I thought it was okay. 701 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,200 I wasn't like, no. 702 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:51,640 I wasn't like South Park where they fucking wrecked his life. 703 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,920 I was like, it's not great. 704 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:54,920 It's not bad. 705 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,920 Where they had who was it? 706 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,640 Steven Spielberg and George Lucas coming up to Indy. 707 00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,640 What you doing? 708 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,640 You got them pretty math on you. 709 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,640 I want you to squeal like a pig. 710 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:12,640 I'm like, what the fuck are you up to with Indiana Jones? 711 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:13,640 She gave me nightmares. 712 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:14,640 Oh boy. 713 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:20,680 But I mean, let's hope this is like you thought this was his last adventure. 714 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:25,560 A hundred and three year old in Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the timeless temple of 715 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,000 a fucking give us some money. 716 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,360 From what I've heard though, they're basically going to make him go out with a whimper in 717 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,360 the movie. 718 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,360 They're going to rape him? 719 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,360 No. 720 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:45,040 Oh my God. 721 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,480 I just get a fucking mic. 722 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:53,640 I just had a horrible, oh God, horrible image of fucking Harrison Ford getting manhandled 723 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,480 by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. 724 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,960 I'm so sorry. 725 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,360 Oh, that hurt my brain. 726 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,960 That hurts your spirit. 727 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:13,960 You keep that hat on. 728 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:18,680 It's not so much that they're making continuation of a beloved series. 729 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:19,680 Right. 730 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:24,440 It's that they're not taking the time to truly develop a story that matters. 731 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,440 No, they're just trying to push them out real fast to make some money. 732 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,440 Right. 733 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,440 That's the problem. 734 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,440 And they're ruining the IPs. 735 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,840 They just, we'll just have some more IPs later. 736 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:34,320 I mean, they did that with Star Wars. 737 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,920 They ruined Harrison Ford's character of Han Solo. 738 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,360 They didn't ruin him. 739 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,360 He's just dead. 740 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:44,760 No, but they let him go out as like a horrible father and like just a horrible person at 741 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,400 the very end. 742 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,000 And then apparently that's how they're going to do it with this new indie film. 743 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,320 So it'll be a horrible father? 744 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,320 Yeah. 745 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:55,200 That just would be Harrison Ford then, constantly coming up. 746 00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:01,360 They're trying to turn real life into... 747 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,960 I'm so sorry Harrison Ford. 748 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,960 But anything else to add? 749 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:08,960 No. 750 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:09,960 Fuck Shazam. 751 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:10,960 Fuck everything. 752 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:11,960 Fuck it all. 753 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,800 I'm gonna have nightmares about Indiana Jones. 754 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:19,080 With that, we'll see you guys on the next one. 755 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,080 I love this right now. 756 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:30,840 I love this.