Hello and welcome to episode 36 of the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown
movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.
We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.
This is what we are covering tonight.
Shazam.
Fury of the Gods.
The exasperation tells it all.
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But let's go ahead and get into it.
Yeah, let's get into this.
I'm sorry to have the excitement.
Whatever you have the exasperation.
Well, it's like, what piece of the turd would you like to eat first?
Is how I'm looking at this.
There's no good portion in this.
Which part of the shit sandwich?
Yeah, is the one I want to take a bite out of because that's all this is.
So you know how the DCU is considered a darker superhero universe than MCU?
Yes.
Well, I guess the writers of Shazam took that to heart because they did an overly up-to-date
upbeat.
Not even upbeat.
They went overboard into more light, into the lighthearted version, the action, the
comedy, the drama that mixes well in the MCU.
So it's like action and comedy are the top tier ones.
And then drama is a couple of tiers down, so it's not too high.
And that's how they do their little, that's the beats that they use to make a good show.
Or make a good movie or whatever.
And Shazam was like, hey man, fuck this shit, turn it up to 11.
And it went to the cheesy territory.
Like immediately.
I thought everybody would jump past Guardians real quick.
Guardians isn't cheesy, is it?
First one was, yeah.
I thought.
I love the first one when he reaches out for his mom.
Say, I got you mom.
They are leagues apart.
Yeah, that's how bad Shazam is.
Are we going into the 1960s Batman camp?
Of shark repellent?
I don't think we could ever go that way because the writers today, right?
They write to the audience and the society that we have.
Like back then, that was like normal.
Like, oh, it's such a good show.
I'm just saying, is it that far into the campiness?
In terms of like, I guess what's the word I'm looking for?
Inflation?
Yeah, it's one of those.
Like if you adjusted it for inflation, it'd be fucking Batman 1960.
Bam pow wham.
Holy bullshit, Batman.
I'll shit my pants.
First of all, you got Helen Mirren, the actress.
She's like 89 years old.
She's like the main bad guy.
Having a fist fight with a grown ass man.
It lacks it lacks all level of believability.
Nothing against Helen Mirren.
But I mean, you know, I mean, come on.
The crib keeper fighting Captain Marvel.
Basically, you got Lucy Liu, who's got some fucking legs on her in that movie.
How are you like in her 50s now?
Right?
She still almost looks the same.
She's still she's still got all the business.
She becomes the main bad guy.
Like off the bat.
Like right after Helen Mirren.
And then the main main bad guy is a fucking dragon made of wood.
Yeah, I'm like, what?
What is happening?
What?
Because they knew that it couldn't be Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu going toe to toe with
Shazam.
So they basically use them as a as a placeholder for the dragon being like the main opponent
that Shazam fights.
And I'm like, OK, why don't I just make a badass?
And it's not because they're women, right?
Right.
It's like it's just because they're just they didn't fit the like if it was a freaking
what's a good like what's a good female villain?
Or Talia?
Yeah, like Talia or like some I don't know a lot of female DC villains.
Let's see.
There was Enchantress.
There was she was terrible in the movies.
Yes, they ruined whatever that fucking dance she was doing.
I'll never fucking forget to this damn day.
A good villain, female villain.
Oh, Proxima from Infinity War.
Yeah, one of those is kids.
She was a solid villain if it was something like that, they had some like but it was like
you can't expect to believe that you could even have somebody like Catwoman.
I don't know if Kevin would be able to handle Shazam.
It knocks her teeth out.
I don't know.
It was because maybe because of the actresses.
I've never seen them as an action.
They should have been some a new character, a new actress of, you know, a considerate
age to Shazam.
And so they put 85 year old Helen Mirren having like they had a legit fist fight.
And I'm like, you expect me to believe that even though she's a god, that she's going
to go to tell it is how you can get out.
That's the reason I didn't like Wonder Woman.
The first one.
Yeah, because the guy that played Aries.
Yeah, well, you expect me to believe this.
Oh, fuck is Aries.
That's actually the same principle I'm talking about.
Yeah, if I don't believe the person playing the character, I'm not going to believe that
there are threats to anybody.
And when you consider them in the comic books and stuff like that, like with the Wonder
Woman movie, like fucking built like a tank in the comic books.
Yeah.
And then the fucking movie, I'm Aries.
You would basically find that equivalent to somebody like Henry Cavill to play Aries character.
Or fucking if it was fucking Tom Hardy from, you know, the Batman playing Bane, he played
Aries instead.
I believe that he's built like a tank.
Aries is like, it's just not believable in the movies.
No, so I get what you're saying.
The actor was fucking horrendous for the Aries to the same for Helen Mirren.
It was the same for Lucy Liu.
I'm like, I do not believe you.
Maybe if it was Lucy Liu from Kill Bill.
Yeah.
Maybe.
See, Lucy Liu would have been a better character.
Somebody like X2 or something like that.
Oh, like the little, what's her name?
That was a good villain.
The, the, the, uh, from X2, the one that Wolverine fought with the fight with Lady Strike or
Lady Death Strike or something.
Lady Death Strike.
She was solid.
Yeah.
That was a good fight.
Or Emma Frost or somebody like that.
But no, they fucking picked Helen Mirren.
207 years old.
And then like halfway through the movie, she has like a, uh, an identity crisis.
She's like mean as fuck.
Like we're getting back at all the humans for what they did to our people.
Like apparently the wizards, the gods back in the day, they had had humans as basically
slaves to do all their bidding.
And then the humans were like, all right, we had enough of this.
They, the human wizards got together.
They stole Atlas, the great God staff, and they stole his powers, a bunch of the God's
powers, which was Shazam God, all those fucking different abilities.
And they locked their realm in a bubble and left them there to die.
Which has no basis in the comic books at all.
Yeah.
Well, we'll try new things.
And so they're trying to, so they, for some, for that reason, like, like we'll show you
how it feels to be trapped in a bubble and they fucking put Philadelphia in a fucking
force field of magic.
And the weird part is Shazam and them are just like all chilling.
All the people are living normal, like doing the everyday thing, right?
Some guy comes to Shazam like Shazam, what you gonna do about this dome?
It's like, I'm working on it, don't you worry.
She's like, you man.
You ain't doing shit.
And I'm like, why are you everyone?
I wouldn't be having a nervous breakdown.
Like do we have enough air?
Is there gonna be enough food eventually?
How long are we gonna be in this dome?
Why is the government nowhere near?
So they're stuck in a dome.
Yeah.
And there's no, when I look outside the dome, right?
I don't see any government forces or other superheroes or anything around the dome investigating.
Like trying to figure out what's going on.
Yeah.
The dome is just there.
And like there's no one, there's no outside.
Like in WandaVision, they had a government facility outside the sphere that Wanda had
encased around this little village or this little town.
And they were investigating what the fuck was going on.
There was nothing like that in the fucking Shazam.
There was just a dome, there's a dome in Philadelphia.
Now the sports.
And I'm like, wait, there's no one.
And on top of that, Philadelphia is close to Metropolis, is close to Gotham.
You don't think Batman would have some shit out there trying to figure out what the fuck's
going on?
Wayne Industries shit around that bubble.
I don't know.
And that's what got me.
Like I lost a little bit of points on that.
So no one's gonna, and the fact that all the people were chill about it.
It's a dome, this shit happens every Tuesday.
I'm like, okay.
That led up to the cornyness.
I mean, I get you.
God's walking basically among you, people like Superman and stuff like that.
But like, really?
Let me tell you the basis of their.
So they, because of Shazam or whatever that wizard's name is.
Shazam.
Is it Shazam?
Well, he was a human wizard.
He was the last of his kind that stole, that had the staff.
So instead of being a Lord of Order.
I guess.
And when they took the staff, they sealed off the realms from each other.
So they were trapped in that small God world.
And let me tell you how the new movie set it up.
Basically in the first Shazam, when Shazam takes the staff, he gives his siblings powers.
He breaks the staff that caused the realms to reopen.
And then he fucking tosses the staff to the ground, right?
The staff that had the power to steal the powers of the gods.
He fucking tossed it aside in the first movie.
It ends up in Athens, Greece at a museum.
The two sisters, Lucy, Lou and Helen Mirren, they get the staff and they go back and it
turns out Shazam's not, he died in the first one, but he didn't die.
Apparently he went back to his realm, which I'm like, if he's human, his realm would be
earth.
Right.
But he apparently went to the God realm and he was in prison there, right?
And Lucy, Lou has this ability.
She's a daughter of chaos or something, or she's got the powers of chaos.
She can whisper stuff in people's ears and make them do stuff.
She made this guy, she made this teacher for one of Billy Batson's foster brothers.
Yeah.
Like you meet him once, right?
The teacher.
So he's like, oh, I know that actor.
He's the actor that plays the voice for Batman in The Bold and the Brave.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, I know him.
And he gets up to the, how do I fucking phrase this?
Okay.
So of course, if you've seen Shazam, I'm going on the basis that everyone's seen the first
movie or else you wouldn't be here or you're trying to figure out not to watch it.
And let me tell you, don't in the first movie, Billy Batson uses the staff to give all his
siblings powers as well.
They call them the Shazamily.
I look at the Wikipedia, it says Shazamily.
That's a family Shazamily.
Instead of the Bat family.
Yeah.
The Shazamily.
So they all have powers.
And one of his siblings, he's more into like being like Shazam's like, Billy Batson's like,
it's all or none.
So either they all work together to solve crisis or none of them go out.
But Freddy, I think is his name.
Yeah.
The younger one that's crutches.
Yeah.
He's like, I got to do stuff.
Like I'm Captain Everypower.
That's his name in the movie.
Captain Everypower.
Oh my, isn't it Captain Marvel Jr.?
I don't know.
I don't care.
Oh dear God.
And he's up on the roof with this new chick that he met.
And the new chick turns out to be the third sister of the other two who brought him up
there to trick him because I don't know the process that they came to this idea was I
guess if they cozied up to, that's what I don't understand.
So they cozy up to Freddy because Freddy is the guy that has lunch with Superman and Shazam
at the end of the first movie.
So maybe if they get to Freddy, they'll know how to get to Shazam.
That's the thinking of them, I guess.
That's the writers giving the goddesses that idea.
Yeah.
Let's get Freddy.
Is the goddess Hecate?
It's a...fuck what are their...god dang it.
Is it the one where it's the old lady, the middle, the mom and then the younger sister?
No, they're all three sisters.
It's Hespera and Calypso.
OK.
Two dollars of the Titan Atlas.
Even the very beginning of the fucking plot of the Wikipedia says like they take it as
a wizard imprisoned in the God's realm.
You know what God I'm talking about though, right?
The one that's like a three part god, but it's the same goddess where she's like the
young person in the morning, the mother in the afternoon and then the elderly lady or
the crone in the evening.
Jesus.
That's the one I was thinking of.
Yeah, horrible marriage.
So they get Freddy, right?
And you find out that this young girl that just happened to fall in love with him and
he's like digging her, right?
It's like, oh, you actually like me?
So there and she actually does like him, which is, you know, you come to find out and she's
trying to keep him safe.
She just wants to know where Shazam is.
And well, you made a mistake and he becomes, you know, captain every power.
The two sisters come up, they fuck him up.
They take his powers immediately because they can take his powers with the staff.
Yeah.
So they take his powers immediately.
He's back to crutches.
Yeah.
The teacher comes back like, what's going on here, Freddy?
He's like, get out of here teacher.
And Lucy Lou whispers something in his ear and the fucking the teacher's like, okay.
And he fucking walks off the fucking side of the building and jumps off and kills himself.
My God.
Yeah.
It's the most brutal shit I've seen this whole movie.
So I don't even know how to talk about this movie because it's so fucking haphazard.
Here's another thing they did.
The writers did.
They wanted to give some weight to Billy Bats, his life.
And basically the foster mom, he won't call her mom.
All the other kids call her like when they leave one day to go save the bridge, they're
all like, bye mom, bye mom.
And he's like, bye Mrs. better name.
Bye Susan.
And he leaves and she's like, oh, he still won't call me mom.
And the dad's like, don't you worry, hon.
He'll get around to eventually.
And that's the last time until the end of the movie they talk about that.
There's no weight to it whatsoever.
Because at the end of the movie, right?
When Billy has to sacrifice himself to save Philadelphia, she's like, don't you worry,
mom.
Oh God.
And she's like fucking angel wings and music and harp playing.
And I'm like, what the fuck does it matter now?
And then another thing was that he was going to be 18 soon.
So he's going to age out of the foster program and that the parents could barely keep a roof
over their head.
And if there's no checks coming in from the foster care system, you know, Billy's going
to age out.
He's like, I'll figure out what to do with my life.
And he needed that.
That story too just ties into them being called her calling the lady mom.
So you'll never age out to us.
You're my son.
I'm like, what the fuck?
There was no payoff because there was no buildup.
They just said two different things, right?
And then both of them at the same time wrapped up in the same fucking second.
So there's no worry about Billy, you know, trying to find a job or his future or trying
to find some kind of income level or something.
Right.
Or to do something, right?
Nothing throughout the whole movie.
And there's nothing about him trying to, you know, warm up to the foster family, the parents.
Like he's warmed up to the kids because they're the same age, right?
But he hasn't like, there's no buildup of him warming up to them.
Right.
There's no fucking reason for the either of those storylines.
It's like, why'd you even shove them in there?
Like, yeah, because that's what that's what dumb writers do.
They don't know how to write anymore.
So I'm just like, what?
Like you had no emotional attachment to that scene whatsoever.
Like then he has a weird dream where he's he's he's Shazam, right?
Yeah.
So he's going out with Wonder Woman and he's like, they're at a dinner, right?
He's in his full suit.
She's in her full Wonder Woman suit.
And like they have an argument, right?
But you don't see her head the whole time.
You just see like the bottom, like like in the Superman thing.
Yeah.
So you just think, oh, it's part of the little and I'm like, wait a minute.
And then like he turns around and it's the fucking wizard's head.
Like Billy Batson.
Billy Batson wakes up like, oh, fuck, I nodded somehow.
What the fuck?
No, no, no.
The wizard.
He takes a cold shower.
No, the wizard had just a little bit of magic that he stole from the staff.
Was sending a message of Billy Batson.
You were a terrible champion that I chose.
I don't know what the fuck they decided to do the Wonder Woman thing.
But see, that's really awkward too, because you're, you're making it like the way they
wrote this movie, they make it seem like Shazam got all his powers from staff.
He did.
But in the comics, he did not.
Hey man, I just, I just, when I watch it, what they get, that's what I'm saying.
Like they took so many creative liberties with this thing.
It's like, okay, but this isn't even the same character anymore.
You took the names and likeness of them and then changed everything else.
I guess.
Captain Everypower.
Shazamily.
And then like the comedy is just like, they tried too hard, too often.
And I just came off as a flat.
Yeah.
Now there's been a few movies like that.
Just think that like you said, it's like if you chose the inflation and added it to the
1966 Batman, this is what you'd get.
Basically the same.
You know, if you had inflation, the highest gross of movie all time is Gone with the Wind.
Yeah.
It's like $1 billion.
God dang.
They didn't have anything to do back then.
They watched Gone with the Wind.
It was a long movie.
It's like, but my dear, I don't give a damn.
That's all I know.
I don't even know if that's the right line for the movie.
I think it is though.
And then the Rifleman.
He throws a kid in the pond because he can't swim.
Oh, John Wayne?
Yeah.
That's just John Wayne being John Wayne.
That wasn't even part of the script.
It's like, fuck this kid.
So many memes.
Man, I don't know.
So yeah.
So then, so the movie, the dome was there for a reason.
They wanted the dome.
So the sisters want this thing called the seed so that they can regrow the seed and
regrow the tree.
And because their realm is dying and the seed just happened to be this gold apple that the
fucking Shazam was just tossing around everywhere throughout the fucking Rock of Eternity.
They get the seed.
If they plant it in the god realm, it becomes this beautiful flourishing tree.
They plant it on earth.
It becomes a monstrosity that unleashes all these mythical creatures like ogres and harpies
and stuff like that.
Stuff from like ancient Greece.
Unicorns for some reason, really dark black maned unicorn with the huge horns that hate
humanity.
I don't know, they love Skittles.
Don't ask me how I know.
So he ends up having the, so yeah.
So Helen Mirren's character gets portrayed by Lucy Liu.
Helen wants to just, you know, she was having doubts about what they should do.
So she and Lucy was like, I got no doubt.
So she has to drag and kill Helen Mirren.
And then they plant the seed in like the, in a baseball field.
And Helen Mirren's got control of the dome, so she shrinks it down to just encompass the
tree.
And then Shazam fights the dragon.
Lucy Liu's on top of the dragon the whole time.
She's got no real point to be there.
So I'm being honest.
She's just like, cause the dragon can't talk.
She's the voice point.
Yeah.
He, he, he, he, he, he finally gets the staff.
He powers up the staff by fucking throwing lightning bolts all over the dome.
He could have just kept shocking the, the, uh.
But he had to ricochet it?
Yeah.
He could have just took the lightning from his hand and just put it right up against
the fucking staff.
Instead he's like doing all this stupid bullshit that makes no fucking sense.
Let me toss it.
And then every time it ricocheted, it hits the staff.
I'm like, just fucking power the staff.
I'm like, Rick, you're fucking holding it.
What the fuck are you doing?
And he decides to fucking just ram himself into the dragon.
Kills the dragon.
He dies too.
Lucy Liu dies.
The mayor died a while ago.
The tree explodes.
All the animals die.
I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
What's dying?
So Billy Batson dies in it?
Yeah.
The fucking Freddy finds him.
You're not supposed to die.
Shabam!
Shazam!
He didn't do that, but he started going shabam!
Cause the staff is broken and lost all its power.
So Billy, he looks fucked up too, by the way.
They did a good job of looking at him dead.
I'm like, you guys made him look dead.
You did a good banger job on that one.
He finally did something right.
And they decided to bury him in the god realm, like a proper burial for, by the way, the
wizard, he's got no powers, right?
Without the staff.
He's just hanging out with the kids and just like, they're just going around doing stuff
during this whole third act debacle.
So it's like, they're trying to keep people safe from the mythical monsters.
So the kids go one way because they want to get the king of the animals is the unicorns.
If you get the unicorn on your side, they can kill all the other monsters.
That was their thinking.
So the kids go that way.
The wizard's like, I'm going to go with them.
And the mom and dad, they go their own way.
I don't know.
They all say they split up for no reason.
And the wizard says like, well, without a god, we can't power the staff anymore.
So you have a god.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Fucking Wonder Woman comes out of nowhere.
I'm like, now I know why the MCU doesn't have heroes cross over that often, unless it's
a big movie.
Because it completely did away with everything when she came in.
So here, let me power the staff.
Boom, power staff.
Oh, let me plant this tree.
Oh, the tree's flourishing.
Oh, let me bring Billy back to life.
He's alive.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
She's in all that shit like 30 seconds.
Like just ruin the whole movie?
Yeah, I'm like, well, OK.
Back to life.
Yeah.
And then I'm like, I'm full Shazam gear.
So guys, did you bear me?
I'm fucking afraid I was a zombie.
I had to hit him with his cane.
All the kids get the powers back, I think.
I can't remember that part.
Billy.
OK, so basically what you're saying is that this entire movie has no consequences.
And in the end, Wonder Woman would have saved the day anyway.
Yeah.
In a nutshell, yes.
She's got a banger song down.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
If I went out with Wonder Woman, that'd be the song that I'd play when she called me
That's my baby girl, Wonder Woman.
What's up, baby girl?
That was pretty funny.
I have to keep her separate from Supergirl.
One of those is my side piece with her soft slide.
I don't know, like, I don't know why they didn't need the Wonder Woman cameo, but I
mean, they didn't have any way to empower the staff.
She was the last living god.
Helen is dead.
Helen Mirren is dead.
Lucy Liu is dead.
The dragon is dead.
Their third sister, she got her powers stolen by Lucy Liu, so she didn't have any more
powers.
And she had some weird powers.
She had like, she could play Tetris with like reality.
I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck it was.
I can tell if this movie confused the fuck out of you in times.
Everything confused me.
You know, the most confusing movie is Inception and Tenant.
And they're both made by the same writer.
And they both supposedly got all these awards.
Awards for what?
I do not know.
We can't breathe when we go back when we flip when we go reverse time.
Let me mean you can't breathe reverse time.
What the fuck is happening?
Ow.
My head hurts thinking about Tenant.
Surprisingly, I've never seen it.
So for you, this is the beginning.
For me, this is the end of a long friendship.
I'm Robert Patterson.
I have quite the cash in my head of movies that I could just bring up randomly for no
reason.
For literally no reason.
Well, if it's pertinent to the situation, then I feel like I could add some extra layer
to what I'm saying.
As long as I have my...
It's been the whole time, right?
They don't know what their superhero name is.
And then the wizard's like, sugar.
Then he leaves.
Apparently, the wizard, now that he's a modern, right?
He's got no beard anymore.
He's wearing...
He was dripping at the end of the movie.
He was just like, God, he was like, I don't know where he got these clothes from, but
he was fucking raking the ladies in.
What would he look like?
I just came to get the staff.
I'm just too hot as fuck right now.
Fucking leaves.
They ask him, what's the hero name?
I was just shazam.
I can tell this is a very, very corny movie.
You can tell I'm so...
Because I wasn't planning on talking about Shazam, but it all just bubbled up thinking
about it.
Because I don't have my notes with me when I talk about a movie.
I watch it at least twice.
The second time is the note.
I wouldn't watch it one time because there's two end credit scenes, right?
I fucking fucked up before I saw both of them.
I don't even know what the fuck they are.
I know one of them, they're trying to get Shazam to be part of the JSA.
He's like, nah.
And then the other one's got the bad guy from the first movie talking to some slug.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
So, what you're rating for it?
There's not a low enough number in the human concept of numbering that I could rate this.
Well, that's the thing then.
Don't watch it if you haven't seen it.
But watch it anyway.
But you say watch everything.
Yeah, so watch it anyway.
If I gotta see it, you gotta see it too.
Also, you had a correction for what?
The MCU?
Yeah, so episode 34?
Yeah, I think 34.
I talked about the MCU and how you should watch every episode or every movie, TV show
in order.
Well, Disney Plus and fucking Hulu decided to take away the runaways so you can take
those two off your list.
I went to go back and look for them and they were gone.
Just completely fucked it up.
So I guess they don't count as canon.
So you don't have to worry about that show.
I see that's why list episodes are hard to do.
Yeah.
Because they always change some shit and say, oh, that ain't canon no more.
Yeah.
Kind of like the way they did with the Star Wars books, the chapter books that were released
after the fact.
Oh yeah, they're all non-canon.
They're all non-canon now.
They're like hundreds of comic books and books.
And they were all canon at one point where it was literally a canon series after, like
where Darth Vader was the apparition version of Darth Vader to where he was still leading
Luke down the roads and stuff like that within the chapter books.
And then just gone.
No more.
Now we have, what's her name?
Ray?
Yeah.
And they needed to work on her character more.
Good luck with that one.
They did it way too fast and they didn't do it in a proper, I don't know.
Well they've already ruined two of, what's his name, Harrison Ford's characters?
Only has two.
I know.
Han Solo and Indiana Jones.
But have you heard the things that are coming out about Indiana Jones?
Not my Indy.
It's supposed to be, watch it and then you'll call me sopping again.
Watch it, we're both going to go see it in theaters.
Oh God.
I'll tell you at the flicks.
You're going to make me kill myself in the theater.
I'm going to keep my hand raised the whole time.
You'll be the last person to drink.
To be fair, Indiana Jones should have actually, talk about retcon.
There was a show called the Young Adventures of Indiana Jones and it had this old guy that
was, this 93 year old guy that played Indiana Jones at 93 who would like, narrate a little
bit.
He would like teach a little bit of history and then you would see some of his, he talked
about some of his younger adventures.
Apparently when they brought that show to Disney Plus, they cut out all the old man's
parts.
Really?
Because now Harrison Ford's that age.
So they retconned it.
He's only in one of those episodes of the old show where he plays an older version of
himself but now he is that older version of himself.
So if you go back, you can't see this original actor's take on Indiana Jones because apparently
there can only be one Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, even though there's a younger version
of him playing Indiana Jones.
Doesn't make much sense.
And in the third movie there was a young version of the guy playing Indiana Jones.
So apparently multiple people can play Indiana Jones.
But for whatever reason, only Harrison Ford can play Indiana Jones.
That's what doesn't make any sense to me.
It's like he's pushing the age now, so now it's like, well, damn it.
Now we actually have the old Indiana Jones.
Yeah, basically.
Son of a bitch.
Now we're stuck.
Now wait till the AI gets advanced enough.
There'll be like 35 Indiana Jones movies every year.
Just boom, boom.
Just have a freaking AI do it.
Yeah.
Those are some good movies.
I wish I could make an Indiana Jones movie.
What did you think of The Crystal Skull?
I thought it was okay.
I wasn't like, no.
I wasn't like South Park where they fucking wrecked his life.
I was like, it's not great.
It's not bad.
Where they had who was it?
Steven Spielberg and George Lucas coming up to Indy.
What you doing?
You got them pretty math on you.
I want you to squeal like a pig.
I'm like, what the fuck are you up to with Indiana Jones?
She gave me nightmares.
Oh boy.
But I mean, let's hope this is like you thought this was his last adventure.
A hundred and three year old in Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the timeless temple of
a fucking give us some money.
From what I've heard though, they're basically going to make him go out with a whimper in
the movie.
They're going to rape him?
No.
Oh my God.
I just get a fucking mic.
I just had a horrible, oh God, horrible image of fucking Harrison Ford getting manhandled
by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, that hurt my brain.
That hurts your spirit.
You keep that hat on.
It's not so much that they're making continuation of a beloved series.
Right.
It's that they're not taking the time to truly develop a story that matters.
No, they're just trying to push them out real fast to make some money.
Right.
That's the problem.
And they're ruining the IPs.
They just, we'll just have some more IPs later.
I mean, they did that with Star Wars.
They ruined Harrison Ford's character of Han Solo.
They didn't ruin him.
He's just dead.
No, but they let him go out as like a horrible father and like just a horrible person at
the very end.
And then apparently that's how they're going to do it with this new indie film.
So it'll be a horrible father?
Yeah.
That just would be Harrison Ford then, constantly coming up.
They're trying to turn real life into...
I'm so sorry Harrison Ford.
But anything else to add?
No.
Fuck Shazam.
Fuck everything.
Fuck it all.
I'm gonna have nightmares about Indiana Jones.
With that, we'll see you guys on the next one.
I love this right now.
I love this.