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Hello and welcome to Reddit Insanity number 10.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noe.

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We are the Knights of Entertainment.

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We've got some more Reddit questions and a story for you.

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Okay.

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First thing we have up here, we have from USA Franklin.

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This is a, am I the asshole?

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If he's asking, I'm guessing he is.

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Could be.

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All right.

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So they put, for context, I have intrusive thoughts that cannot go away.

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Yep.

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And I also have a few family members with genuine disabilities.

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I didn't, I don't like what it says starting at all.

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I'm used to telling jokes with the understanding that any excuse me.

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I'm used to telling jokes with the understanding that everyone will see it as just a thought

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and not some deep Harvard sentiment that I have about someone to me.

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Jokes are just for the sake of breaking the norm.

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I'm guessing he did something horrendous.

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He said something truly offensive.

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So I'm being introduced to one of my friends, friends who had a pretty bad motorcycle accident

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and lost his right leg from the knee down and lost his left arm at the elbow.

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We share an interest in tuning motors.

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I work on electric and he works on combustion.

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So we were interested in this and we were interested to see what we could do together.

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He was now, he has now refused to talk to me anymore because my first comment was you

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were riding a BMW S 1000.

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I see.

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He replied, no, I was on a Suzuki.

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I don't think BMW made the S 1000 when I was riding.

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Why do you say that?

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I said, because I heard it cost an arm and a leg.

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That's just poor taste.

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Not a bad joke.

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My friend about died laughing.

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I was trying to break the ice, letting him know I was going to be a brutal, be as brutal

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joking on him as I would anyone else.

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Cause you know, we're just guys hanging out.

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I left the pub and did not come back in.

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He don't, he doesn't drink, but I do.

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Excuse me.

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Let me fix that.

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I don't drink, but I do eat free peanuts while watching TV and hanging out with my friends

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who do drink.

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Anyways, he apparently is mad at me for my friend laughing at the joke and won't talk

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to him either.

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We literally joke on each other all the time.

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I figured this guy was one of us.

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Am I the asshole for this or is the guy overreacting to a friendly job?

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I mean, you did lose an arm and a leg.

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That would make me real sensitive about it, but you know, you're going to get that joke

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a lot.

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Yeah.

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So it's going to take a time to get used to it.

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You know what I mean?

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Like, damn, if I lost an eye, I'd be pissed for fucking years.

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Maybe somebody said, Hey, Patch Adams.

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Yeah.

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I'd be like, fuck you.

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It's like this figment is not easily brushed over, you know?

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True.

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I get it.

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I don't know.

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A poor taste is what I would say.

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Not necessarily asshole.

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Especially like you barely know the guy.

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But if you're supposed to be hanging out with him constantly on a regular basis, you're

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still like on the, you're on the like, what's the way you're like on your.

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So you want to say borderline asshole?

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No, like, yeah, basically.

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Like, what way like until you truly know the person before you can say something to my

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cousin that I would never say to a stranger.

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So, Hey, you have fat piece of shit.

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You know, like he's, you know, overweight like I am, but he's like, Oh, you know, what

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fuck you do you fat?

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I'd be like, I called him a beached whale.

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He'll call me a fat oompa loompa.

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It's all the same, but it wouldn't be, it wouldn't work with someone I barely know.

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So asshole or no?

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He's an asshole.

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Cool.

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All righty.

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So now we have a, there was a post that said, what are the stupidest questions you've ever

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heard asked?

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Some stupid ones.

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Uh, first one that they put ask a kid asked by a kid in the seventh grade health class

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when we were, when we were learning about meth as math, as sexually transmitted math

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or math, math, math, especially transmitted is meth sexually transmitted.

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No.

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That's what they were asked about in a health class.

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By the mid to kid.

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He wouldn't know.

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See that's a genuine grade.

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I'm just saying they're not, sometimes they're not that the world's probably not.

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No.

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Uh, the next stupid question.

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Did the Asians really get squinty eyes from the nuclear bomb?

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Jesus Christ.

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It's fucked up.

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I know from what I'm just like, it's still, oh man.

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That was a stupid question.

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Uh, next stupid question.

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All right.

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We had a call, a Holocaust survivor speaking at our school at an assembly, a couple of

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years ago, the sound of that.

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And when the speaker opened up for questions at the end, someone legitimately asked, so

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were the Germans mean to you?

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No.

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Next stupid question, why does the sun go away at night?

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I mean, that's when you need it the most.

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I'm actually fucking in shock.

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There are some stupid people in this world.

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The next one is, uh, somebody asked, I swallowed an ice cube hole and I haven't pooped it out

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yet.

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What do I do?

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Wait till it turns into piss.

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Maybe it's water ice.

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You see the summer, bitch.

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It's funny.

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The stupidity levels.

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Alrighty.

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So this person put that happened to my class in high school.

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Some kid asked, did the red coats really wear red coats?

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He then proceeded to let out the loudest fart ever.

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The poor kid hardly spoke in class and probably just wanted his voice to be heard to cover

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up the fart.

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He couldn't contain.

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And I'm ultimately his time.

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Timing was off and the decibels that sucker let out would have overshadowed, uh, shadowed

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his quiet voice.

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It wouldn't have mattered.

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Then there was a comment below.

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Yeah.

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It just blows open.

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It doesn't matter what sound you make on your mouth to cover it up.

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There's a comment below that for this specific one.

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They put reminds me of a second grade.

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We were all gathered around at the front of the class sitting on the carpeted area in

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the room while the teacher read a book to us.

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So we were, well, uh, before I knew what was going on, I let rip the loudest fart I ever

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had.

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I swear my ass lifted off of the ground from the fear, the sheer force of it.

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Uh, there was no denying who did it.

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Everybody knew everybody looked right at me.

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I tried to play it off like, well, it's just fart, but that wasn't cutting it.

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One girl started crying.

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Jesus.

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Her eyes were water like tear gas.

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Most of the class ran into the other side of the room.

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I just kept sitting there acting like nothing happened.

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The teacher asked me if I needed to go use the restroom and I replied, no, I'm empty

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now.

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The teacher then made me go to the bathroom, but since I didn't need to do anything, I

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just kind of stood there for a few minutes.

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Then I farted again and it made me laugh and the laughing made me fart and the farting

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made me laugh and I got caught in a fart laugh loop.

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I guess that was taking too long because the teacher sent a male teacher in there to check

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on me only to find me simultaneously laughing, farting and crying.

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The crying.

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Okay.

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When he asked me what was going on, when he asked me what was going on, all I could say

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was I can't stop in between bouts of laughter and sobbing punctuated by intense flagellants.

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And that's when I'm, that's why I'm not allowed to eat chili on the school night anymore.

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Jesus Christ.

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Next stupid question though asked by a former coworker of mine.

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Why do you think they fired me?

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Mind you, this girl has missed at least 15 to 20 days in a four month period and the

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day she doesn't miss, she is anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours late every day.

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It's like everyone I work with and because there's nobody that wants to work, they just

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let them do it.

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Yeah, just let them do it.

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Next person put I heard it today.

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I'm in a resort and say Martin and sitting at a table next to a little pizza place, there's

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a big stone oven with a pizza in it cooking and the chef is standing at the counter cutting

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another pizza.

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A talk you brunette walks up to the counter and says, excuse me.

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The chef turns around and proceeds to say is the pizza made fresh here?

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The dude is obviously caught a little off guard and says, I'm sorry, what lady goes?

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Oh, I mean, do you make the pizza here or is it ordered?

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The chef looks at me because I spit out my drink a little bit.

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They call me looks behind him at the giant pizza furnace.

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Then back at the woman and says, no, no, I don't.

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Seriously, you're going to go ask somebody when there's pizza oven right behind them

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cooking people on right here.

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People are very observant.

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Apparently not.

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Next one, a couple I knew I'm getting married soon.

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He has the ugliest nose ever.

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She says you're going to have to get a nose job before we have children because I don't

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want your nose passed down to our kids.

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Bitch, it's genetics, you dumb bitch.

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It won't matter.

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Sorry.

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Well, when you're retarded, so you know, doesn't matter.

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It's OK.

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Next one is first of all, I would leave her to begin with.

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First of all, you don't just tell a person they got to have surgery to fix a physical

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feature of themselves.

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You got a crooked nose, bitch.

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You got to love them for them.

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I've never told a woman to change anything about herself.

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It's like I would expect the same treatment.

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Well, if you were going out with somebody, it means that you didn't care to begin with.

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And then so he must be fucking loaded.

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Probably.

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The next one is if our bodies are 70 percent water and we burn in a fire, it shouldn't

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70 percent of us remain alive.

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Next one, does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?

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Jesus.

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Next one.

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Who decides the number of eggs in a dozen?

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Is it the government?

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No, it's called a dozen of eggs.

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A dozen is 12.

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That's what determines it.

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Yeah.

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Next one.

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We were reading a book, The Good Earth in high school.

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Suddenly one girl asked, Am I the only one who has a hard time picturing Asians farming?

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What the fuck?

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It's a stupid question.

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Jesus, what the fuck?

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What the fuck?

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It doesn't make any sense.

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You're trying to get onto their brain like a wavelength.

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It's just not going to work.

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What is she thinking about?

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I don't understand.

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All right.

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The next one is, does sex during pregnancy actually cause the baby to have dimples?

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If you get hard enough, sure.

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You just go that hard.

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Maybe it comes out the farm.

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I'm so fucking sorry.

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The baby's all fucking mangled.

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It comes out like Timmy.

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Look at that back, bro.

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I'm so fucking sorry.

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It comes out like Jimmy.

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He just all fucks her crutches.

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My god, this baby just got three ribs broken and skulls fractured.

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It came in its head before I was even born.

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I'm sorry, dog.

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We just go that hard.

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Stupid questions.

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I'm so sorry.

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Oh, God, will my kids see this in the future or hear about this?

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Next one.

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I want to say first off that she is a very, very brilliant woman who has earned a few

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scholastic titles to her name, but my wife asks me some of the stupidest questions.

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We were remodeling and she decides one day she wanted to help.

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She ended up picking up a tape measure and wanted to measure something and asked, hey,

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how long is this?

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And pointed to the tape measure.

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I was a bit taken aback.

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Tape measures aren't that hard to read.

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I tried to walk her through the basics of it and asked her how long she thought it was.

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She counts a few of the dashes and comes back with four and 12 fourths inches, which doesn't

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exist on a tape measure.

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I don't even remember what it actually was.

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I had to leave the room.

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Another time during the fiasco, she wanted to put a facility fan in one of our rooms

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where the light fixture was really close to the wall.

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I tell her it won't work unless I move the light to the center of the room because it's

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too close to the wall.

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She tells me, oh, well, you don't have to do that.

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Why don't you just cut the blade that's going to hit the wall?

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OK, let me cut off four of them.

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I had to walk out of out to our office and make sure her diploma wasn't on the back of

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a Chinese takeout menu.

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Jesus.

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Why would she just cut the one blade?

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I don't know.

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There you go.

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You're fixed.

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You have the last one.

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Am I an aunt or uncle?

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I can't wait for the baby to be born to find out.

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I seriously heard two people say that today behind me.

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I don't know.

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Whatever you want to be, I guess.

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In the same age.

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Yes, whatever.

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You can be an aunt and an uncle.

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It's fine with me, actually.

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You do you and I'll do me.

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But you don't have to wait for the baby to be born.

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You don't have to just pick one now.

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What am I going to be in the future?

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I don't know.

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But that is everything for Reddit and we will see you guys next week.

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Adios.