Hello and welcome to Reddit Insanity. I'm Michael. I'm Noe. And we are in Iphone Entertainment.
We got some questions that were asked to Reddit at one point. They must be dumb as hell. Oh,
that was a lie. Alright, first one we got. What are some red flags for teachers that scream,
drop this class immediately? What's a red flag to teach to scream? What they say? What's something
that would basically scream to you to drop the class immediately? Something racist probably.
Well, time to leave this class. The first response. I had a teacher that I loved but
everyone hated. My economics teacher was an absolute madman. First day of econ, the madman
says, first rule, any and all cell phones are to remain off. If I see you using them, I will throw
them out the door. The cell phone rings. It's his. The madman looks at the class, grabs his cell phone
and throws it out the door. I read that one somewhere. Didn't need to talk to my wife
anyway. Damn, the coldest mad that's ever lived. Apparently that was the answer to what does the teacher
do to make you think I need to leave? Next question that was asked. What's the most refreshing act of
I don't give a fuck that you have ever witnessed? The most refreshing act of I don't give a fuck.
This one's terrible but I saw it on Twitter I think. This guy was like, the police were legitimately
shooting him and he just walked through the convenience store door as two bullets pierced
right through his body. And then he just dies like two feet later. Oh my god, my Jesus Christ. It's
the darkest shit I've ever seen. Well the response to this was, in high school a friend of mine got
piss-loaded drunk. I mean it's a miracle he didn't end up in the hospital. And he didn't have to drive
home from the party so what does he do? He calls the police and says, yeah there's this drunk fucker
walking down third street yelling and what does he do? Walks up third street to pick him up and take him home.
Smart man. Next one. Question was, Redditors, what started off as a small lie and then snowballed into
this is my life now. I told people that I'm human and now I'm trapped here. First response,
told a small lie to a girl I was texting that I love running. Don't know how I sold it because I
was fat. Started running the second day after I sent that. Five years later I went from 298 to 180.
Not bad. Well man that was a good actual consequence. I guess it wouldn't be a consequence.
I guess I was uh. But it kind of is a consequence. A consequence affected something. What you did
affected what you have to do. So it would still be a consequence but not a bad one. I'm wondering
how the hell he sold that to her first. Maybe she just thought he was built big. I'm big bone.
Yeah some guys are built big. Basically some guys are built big as fuck. Next one we have.
Stimul wrestlers they can move. They can outrun sprinters sometimes. Yeah that is true. Says
that's how he is I guess. Yeah at least they got him in better shape though. 289 is where he said
he went from. Yeah or 298. 298 to what? To 180 so he lost 118 pounds. Guys are walking outside.
You know walking outside in public or away from a treadmill affects you like to me personally like
because you're not stuck to what the the monitor says. It seems better. If I walked to Walmart
right now I'd be like damn my calves are burning. But if I walk on a treadmill I can do it for an
hour but you have no effect. Yeah. Because I do it probably do it slower. And also uh different uh
terrain terrain stuff like that. Yeah. All right next one we have. You have been accepted for an
experiment. You must stay in a room with nothing but bed, toilet, food, water, and no human contact
for one month. If you succeed for the whole month without giving up you get five million dollars.
Do you accept? And are you coping what are your coping strategies to avoid mental breakdown?
Actually do I? One dollar, two dollars, three dollars, four dollars, five dollars, six dollars,
seven dollars. Let me do that for the whole month. Eight dollars, nine dollars, ten dollars. By the
time you got done counting you'd already be up there. Five million. Let me out. The person that
first responded no human contact. I already got that down. Yeah I knew someone would say that.
That's the first comment. Next question we have. There's a room in your house where time doesn't
flow. You could possibly stay in there for as long as you can and not a second will have passed
outside of that room. What would you use that room for? Like basically the the the training
chamber from Dragon Ball Z. I thought it just goes slow. Why does it stop? It just goes slower.
The time doesn't go at all. It goes faster doesn't it? Yeah because it's on the reverse. Yeah. Yeah.
What would I do with a chamber that I'd fucking be I'd make a billion dollars like yo scientist
I got a fucking room that defies the laws of reality and they're like oh yeah give me I'll
give you a billion dollars for it. I'm like bat. I'd be a rich man. Well first response was that
I'd arrange all my social interactions to take place just outside that doorway and then if anyone
says anything that needs to come back I can casually step inside think for the perfect
response and then come back out and say it. So it just stops time wait this wait that doesn't make
any sense. It stops time outside the door. Oh outside the door. I guess I didn't hear it right.
Either way I'm still selling it. Make a billion. Hey man I'm all about that cheddar. All right next
one we have what movie changes the plot if you add a random r somewhere in the title. The man who
kills Bigfoot and you get a random r. If I had a random r let me think. Change the entire plot.
Do I have to add an r or do I take a letter off as well? You add a random r. Um let me think what
movies uh no uh can't really think off the top of my head. Well the first response was Fantastic
Breasts and Where to Find Them. Is that a potential beast? Very clever. Changes the entire plot of
that movie. I like that. I wouldn't need I wouldn't need time and like more movie titles. I'll probably
have to go through like Netflix. Just add a random r. There's one right there. Next question we have
from Reddit. What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly fuck with their head?
It's true. Just leave. Especially if you do it behind their ear while they're not.
That would be fucking hilarious. They would just break their reality. The first response to this is
uh what would you change about yourself apart from the obvious? I'd be like looking all over my body
like what? I'd be like Tim Allen in Home Improvement. Was I ever doing that? Yeah.
Next one we got is a question that's asked. Ladies what is the most obvious hint you dropped that
went unnoticed by a guy? I know you can't answer this but you may have missed it.
Yeah like I wouldn't even oh yeah that actually was one I think. So back when I first started
as a cashier at the store this uh chick came in and uh she just bought some random nothing right?
And I'd be like oh that'll be this right this amount. Then she gave me like this massive like
movie star smile right? Yeah. And then I would turn away and then she'd go back to like a really
like uh calm like uh or like a really like uh what was that like like resting uh resting bitch
face? Yeah but it was just like because she was she seemed like a tougher uh chick right? Yeah.
Like one of those like nice uh tomboy types but she was very cute and then I would give her a
change right? And she'd flash me this big smile again and then I would just turn away and then
when I turn away I'd look I see her corned my eyes she'd go back to her normal like I'm like
she's really smiling super hard for some reason. You missed that chance. So either yeah either she
was trying to get my attention but me uh responding to her smile like oh you gotta like oh what's your
name or something like that right? Yeah. Because that was too big it wasn't a normal like oh thank
you type of smile. Right. It was like she was trying real hard and only every time I looked away
is when she went back to her normal resting face so I probably fucked up on that one. But to be
honest she's like was kind of like you know like tomboy she beat the hell out of me. She got her
unicross threshold? Beat the dog shit out of me. I actually have a story I saw on on twitter it is
the greatest fight I've ever seen. This guy attacks this woman right? He's got a white jacket on,
a white hoodie and uh she's a bigger girl and uh um and like you think like oh he's gonna beat up
this poor woman but I said she's the bigger girl because of what happens. So they start fighting
and she when I saw what she did I was like he's gonna get his ass beat. She smashed he slams him
against the car right? There's a fight on the sidewalk or on the sidewalk and like kind of
New York where the cars are always like uh like the whole city's kind of crushed in. So kind of
like New York right? That's type of structure. So the cars are always piled like parked like on the
sidewalk like in parallel park right? She slams him against the fucking car door and he's like oh
shit and he starts trying to swing right? She grabs his jacket like like she like they grab hair
and she fucking drops him to the ground just boom like she does a judo flip and fucking throws him
across her body and hits the ground right? And then she starts fucking swinging on him hard as
fuck and so then he tries to get up but he's on the street and there's that little little like uh
uh little elevation between the street and the sidewalk and he gets up right? And all she does
is push pull him a little bit and he trips over the the little uh upper part of the sidewalk. So
he's on the ground again and she's swinging on him. He gets up again and she takes him and I kid you
not she you know like the matadors and those fucking red things that she whips him across
so hard he falls out of his jacket. He's got no shirt on. He hits a fucking metal bar boom
boom. She I watched it eight times she fucked him up. It was beautiful. I was like man that hair pulling is legit.
I've never that's why they take their shirts off when they fight. I'll remember that. Yeah now I
think he got his fucking ass beat. She fucking whipped him across her body right? And then she
just walked away. He goes fucking flying. Her shirt flies off. His jacket flies off. His fucking bald
head hits a metal pole. She's like boom. He gets up trying to fight again. He's fucking whether let me
put my damn jacket back on. I'm like bro you lost. Yeah don't fight a big girl. The moral of the story.
Don't fight girls in general. You they may beat your ass. Get a Ronda Rousey. Get a Ronda Rousey
cute old fucking flipped into the goddamn concrete. All right uh next question we have from reddit.
There's room in your house where time uh no I already got that. I'm like wait a minute. Yeah it's for me.
Sorry uh next one. Has anyone ever gone through with a marriage pact? You know like if we're not
married by 30 we'll marry each other. How did it work out? That's stupid. Well this first person
uh they put my best friend and I made a pact when we were 18 that if we're both single when we're
30 let's just fucking kill each other. Oh god. I'm 29. I'm a little bit older than her. I'm scared.
Look at sniper scopes coming through the window. Like uh oh.
Next one. What are some good weird questions to ask someone to get to know them better?
How big's a blue whale's dick sir? Sir. Sir how big? Sir. Sir. How big?
I imagine sitting in one of those medical offices right? Yeah. And it's just me and
the guy gets like three or four uh seats down and there's no one just the two of us right? I get
bored of my I just slowly keep scooting over. Fork your way over. Yeah sir.
Have you ever seen a giraffe's vagina sir? Hey sir.
It's a random shit. That'd be a good prank show though.
Where you just randomly ask stupid questions like that.
The first response to that question was um what do you hate? Seriously you can have uh nothing
in common with a person but as soon as you realize you both hate the same things you'll feel like the
dude is family. That sounds like that's how nazis start organizing. Then you start saying
see high hall. Oh god. Next one we have uh teachers of reddit. What's the difference between 1997,
2007 and 2017 students? The first response 1997 quit passing notes. 07 quit texting. 17 are you
seriously watching Netflix right now? Yeah. That does fit though. Next question. A man walks up to
you on the street and hands you a briefcase. He tells you there is a 50 chance of there being a
bomb which will explode on opening and a 50 chance that there's 10 billion dollars in it.
Do you open it? Why or why not? Unless that shit's on a credit card. You know damn 10 billion dollars
in a fucking briefcase. Unless it's a check that says 10 billion dollars on it it won't fit no damn
briefcase even if they were all hundreds. Exactly. It must be the dumbest man that's ever lived.
First response I don't get this question open it is a win-win situation.
Next question uh what would the person who named walkie talkies have named other items? Oh god
choppy choppies. They're just knives. Drivey drivey. First response a pregnancy test maybe baby.
Next question males of redhead. I'm a man I think. Who give birthday blowjobs to their best friends
as a gift? When did you start this tradition and how did you find out about it and what happened?
The first response oh boy I think someone got you good. God. Dumb bastard.
Hey man they don't know. Oh my god. All right next question what is the dumbest solution to
a problem that actually worked? The first answer one of my friends is a teacher and he was finding
it hard to deal with kids dabbing in the class. That thing when they do that. Yeah yeah yeah.
So he started doing it in a super white awkward dude way trying to fit in with no rhythm.
The kids stopped immediately. I imagine yeah they would.
Next question what does one hp of damage feel like in real life? One hp of damage is when a fucking
Just one hp though. One hp so it hurts but it doesn't hurt. Yeah. One hp of damage would be.
This one applies to you partially because the answer is probably something that you would say.
The first answer on this is hearing your own recorded voice played back to you. That's not
one hp of damage that's a status effect. Stun. It's like oh god. Cringe. One hp of damage would be
like um. The paper cuts more than one hp. That shit feels like a fucking it's like a residual
bleed damage. One hp would be let me think. Hitting your funny bone? No because that feels
fucking weird. That's paralysis. It wouldn't be stubbing your toe. That's like 10 or 20 points
for sure. Just one hp. One hp would be like if someone like comes up behind you and flicks to
the ear with their finger. Yeah yeah. It's annoying as fuck. All right next one we got.
They ask what is the best thing to say to someone to subtly fuck with their head. Hey sir. What sir?
Hey sir. You ever seen two donkeys? Never mind sir. I completely lost it. The person that first
responded they put. I would always ask my old roommate have you seen our toothbrush?
I'd be like our. That would really suck. Our. And then the next thing is like your honor he said our.
It's like at that point I had to kill him. He said our.
I can't think of anything else that's funnier than that though. Well there's one here on the
Kumar where Harold has those nose hair clippers and then like he walks in on Kumar using to cut
his pubes. He's like I've been trimming my nose. I'll trim my nose for those. He's like I've been
trimming my pubes for six months. That's pretty weird. Yeah I mean I just. Imagine having a buddy
borrow a buddy's socks right. These are crusty as fuck sir. They're staying on their own.
God. Or having to like. I would never like sleep or like chill on another person's bed.
No. If there was like a dude right. I'm like man you nasty son of a bitch.
You just don't even want to know what happened right. If it was a chicks bed right. Cool. If
it's a couch. Well as long as it isn't Amber Heard's we'll be OK. Amber Heard's will take
and she gets on her bed. Yeah. Or that story. Amber turned Amber turned. It was a B. I swear
it was a B. But that is everything that we got for Reddit this week. Anything else to add before we
go. No. I'm tapped out creatively. Cool. We will see you guys on the next one. Sir you ever seen
a monkey. This fight a dolphin.