1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,160 Hello and welcome to Reddit Insanity. I'm Michael. I'm Noe. And we are in Iphone Entertainment. 2 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:26,760 We got some questions that were asked to Reddit at one point. They must be dumb as hell. Oh, 3 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:32,120 that was a lie. Alright, first one we got. What are some red flags for teachers that scream, 4 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:39,200 drop this class immediately? What's a red flag to teach to scream? What they say? What's something 5 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:44,920 that would basically scream to you to drop the class immediately? Something racist probably. 6 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:52,680 Well, time to leave this class. The first response. I had a teacher that I loved but 7 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:59,040 everyone hated. My economics teacher was an absolute madman. First day of econ, the madman 8 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:04,880 says, first rule, any and all cell phones are to remain off. If I see you using them, I will throw 9 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:11,680 them out the door. The cell phone rings. It's his. The madman looks at the class, grabs his cell phone 10 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:16,160 and throws it out the door. I read that one somewhere. Didn't need to talk to my wife 11 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:23,480 anyway. Damn, the coldest mad that's ever lived. Apparently that was the answer to what does the teacher 12 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:31,720 do to make you think I need to leave? Next question that was asked. What's the most refreshing act of 13 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:37,360 I don't give a fuck that you have ever witnessed? The most refreshing act of I don't give a fuck. 14 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:48,560 This one's terrible but I saw it on Twitter I think. This guy was like, the police were legitimately 15 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:54,000 shooting him and he just walked through the convenience store door as two bullets pierced 16 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:02,480 right through his body. And then he just dies like two feet later. Oh my god, my Jesus Christ. It's 17 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:07,040 the darkest shit I've ever seen. Well the response to this was, in high school a friend of mine got 18 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:11,840 piss-loaded drunk. I mean it's a miracle he didn't end up in the hospital. And he didn't have to drive 19 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,480 home from the party so what does he do? He calls the police and says, yeah there's this drunk fucker 20 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:22,480 walking down third street yelling and what does he do? Walks up third street to pick him up and take him home. 21 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:32,560 Smart man. Next one. Question was, Redditors, what started off as a small lie and then snowballed into 22 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:41,680 this is my life now. I told people that I'm human and now I'm trapped here. First response, 23 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:46,000 told a small lie to a girl I was texting that I love running. Don't know how I sold it because I 24 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:52,560 was fat. Started running the second day after I sent that. Five years later I went from 298 to 180. 25 00:02:52,560 --> 00:03:00,800 Not bad. Well man that was a good actual consequence. I guess it wouldn't be a consequence. 26 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:06,320 I guess I was uh. But it kind of is a consequence. A consequence affected something. What you did 27 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,400 affected what you have to do. So it would still be a consequence but not a bad one. I'm wondering 28 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:16,640 how the hell he sold that to her first. Maybe she just thought he was built big. I'm big bone. 29 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:22,960 Yeah some guys are built big. Basically some guys are built big as fuck. Next one we have. 30 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:28,880 Stimul wrestlers they can move. They can outrun sprinters sometimes. Yeah that is true. Says 31 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:35,840 that's how he is I guess. Yeah at least they got him in better shape though. 289 is where he said 32 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:43,120 he went from. Yeah or 298. 298 to what? To 180 so he lost 118 pounds. Guys are walking outside. 33 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:51,360 You know walking outside in public or away from a treadmill affects you like to me personally like 34 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:58,000 because you're not stuck to what the the monitor says. It seems better. If I walked to Walmart 35 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,960 right now I'd be like damn my calves are burning. But if I walk on a treadmill I can do it for an 36 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:08,640 hour but you have no effect. Yeah. Because I do it probably do it slower. And also uh different uh 37 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:15,120 terrain terrain stuff like that. Yeah. All right next one we have. You have been accepted for an 38 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:20,640 experiment. You must stay in a room with nothing but bed, toilet, food, water, and no human contact 39 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:25,760 for one month. If you succeed for the whole month without giving up you get five million dollars. 40 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:31,040 Do you accept? And are you coping what are your coping strategies to avoid mental breakdown? 41 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:38,240 Actually do I? One dollar, two dollars, three dollars, four dollars, five dollars, six dollars, 42 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,720 seven dollars. Let me do that for the whole month. Eight dollars, nine dollars, ten dollars. By the 43 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,880 time you got done counting you'd already be up there. Five million. Let me out. The person that 44 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:51,520 first responded no human contact. I already got that down. Yeah I knew someone would say that. 45 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:56,960 That's the first comment. Next question we have. There's a room in your house where time doesn't 46 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:03,760 flow. You could possibly stay in there for as long as you can and not a second will have passed 47 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:10,000 outside of that room. What would you use that room for? Like basically the the the training 48 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,720 chamber from Dragon Ball Z. I thought it just goes slow. Why does it stop? It just goes slower. 49 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:22,240 The time doesn't go at all. It goes faster doesn't it? Yeah because it's on the reverse. Yeah. Yeah. 50 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:27,440 What would I do with a chamber that I'd fucking be I'd make a billion dollars like yo scientist 51 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:32,960 I got a fucking room that defies the laws of reality and they're like oh yeah give me I'll 52 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:40,320 give you a billion dollars for it. I'm like bat. I'd be a rich man. Well first response was that 53 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:44,960 I'd arrange all my social interactions to take place just outside that doorway and then if anyone 54 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,880 says anything that needs to come back I can casually step inside think for the perfect 55 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:54,800 response and then come back out and say it. So it just stops time wait this wait that doesn't make 56 00:05:54,800 --> 00:06:00,160 any sense. It stops time outside the door. Oh outside the door. I guess I didn't hear it right. 57 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:07,120 Either way I'm still selling it. Make a billion. Hey man I'm all about that cheddar. All right next 58 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:13,440 one we have what movie changes the plot if you add a random r somewhere in the title. The man who 59 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:21,360 kills Bigfoot and you get a random r. If I had a random r let me think. Change the entire plot. 60 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:31,120 Do I have to add an r or do I take a letter off as well? You add a random r. Um let me think what 61 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:40,480 movies uh no uh can't really think off the top of my head. Well the first response was Fantastic 62 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:48,880 Breasts and Where to Find Them. Is that a potential beast? Very clever. Changes the entire plot of 63 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:54,560 that movie. I like that. I wouldn't need I wouldn't need time and like more movie titles. I'll probably 64 00:06:54,560 --> 00:07:01,600 have to go through like Netflix. Just add a random r. There's one right there. Next question we have 65 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,240 from Reddit. What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly fuck with their head? 66 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,920 It's true. Just leave. Especially if you do it behind their ear while they're not. 67 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:21,600 That would be fucking hilarious. They would just break their reality. The first response to this is 68 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:27,840 uh what would you change about yourself apart from the obvious? I'd be like looking all over my body 69 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:37,840 like what? I'd be like Tim Allen in Home Improvement. Was I ever doing that? Yeah. 70 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:47,600 Next one we got is a question that's asked. Ladies what is the most obvious hint you dropped that 71 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:54,400 went unnoticed by a guy? I know you can't answer this but you may have missed it. 72 00:07:55,600 --> 00:08:03,440 Yeah like I wouldn't even oh yeah that actually was one I think. So back when I first started 73 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:11,680 as a cashier at the store this uh chick came in and uh she just bought some random nothing right? 74 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,520 And I'd be like oh that'll be this right this amount. Then she gave me like this massive like 75 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:22,560 movie star smile right? Yeah. And then I would turn away and then she'd go back to like a really 76 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:29,200 like uh calm like uh or like a really like uh what was that like like resting uh resting bitch 77 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:33,680 face? Yeah but it was just like because she was she seemed like a tougher uh chick right? Yeah. 78 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:39,680 Like one of those like nice uh tomboy types but she was very cute and then I would give her a 79 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:44,000 change right? And she'd flash me this big smile again and then I would just turn away and then 80 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:48,320 when I turn away I'd look I see her corned my eyes she'd go back to her normal like I'm like 81 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,640 she's really smiling super hard for some reason. You missed that chance. So either yeah either she 82 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:58,160 was trying to get my attention but me uh responding to her smile like oh you gotta like oh what's your 83 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,600 name or something like that right? Yeah. Because that was too big it wasn't a normal like oh thank 84 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,760 you type of smile. Right. It was like she was trying real hard and only every time I looked away 85 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:12,160 is when she went back to her normal resting face so I probably fucked up on that one. But to be 86 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:16,800 honest she's like was kind of like you know like tomboy she beat the hell out of me. She got her 87 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:24,000 unicross threshold? Beat the dog shit out of me. I actually have a story I saw on on twitter it is 88 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:31,600 the greatest fight I've ever seen. This guy attacks this woman right? He's got a white jacket on, 89 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:39,280 a white hoodie and uh she's a bigger girl and uh um and like you think like oh he's gonna beat up 90 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:44,800 this poor woman but I said she's the bigger girl because of what happens. So they start fighting 91 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:50,160 and she when I saw what she did I was like he's gonna get his ass beat. She smashed he slams him 92 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:55,440 against the car right? There's a fight on the sidewalk or on the sidewalk and like kind of 93 00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:00,560 New York where the cars are always like uh like the whole city's kind of crushed in. So kind of 94 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:06,160 like New York right? That's type of structure. So the cars are always piled like parked like on the 95 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:11,440 sidewalk like in parallel park right? She slams him against the fucking car door and he's like oh 96 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:17,280 shit and he starts trying to swing right? She grabs his jacket like like she like they grab hair 97 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:22,640 and she fucking drops him to the ground just boom like she does a judo flip and fucking throws him 98 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:27,520 across her body and hits the ground right? And then she starts fucking swinging on him hard as 99 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:33,520 fuck and so then he tries to get up but he's on the street and there's that little little like uh 100 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:39,280 uh little elevation between the street and the sidewalk and he gets up right? And all she does 101 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:44,560 is push pull him a little bit and he trips over the the little uh upper part of the sidewalk. So 102 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:50,400 he's on the ground again and she's swinging on him. He gets up again and she takes him and I kid you 103 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:56,560 not she you know like the matadors and those fucking red things that she whips him across 104 00:10:56,560 --> 00:11:02,720 so hard he falls out of his jacket. He's got no shirt on. He hits a fucking metal bar boom 105 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:14,000 boom. She I watched it eight times she fucked him up. It was beautiful. I was like man that hair pulling is legit. 106 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:19,920 I've never that's why they take their shirts off when they fight. I'll remember that. Yeah now I 107 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:25,200 think he got his fucking ass beat. She fucking whipped him across her body right? And then she 108 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:30,000 just walked away. He goes fucking flying. Her shirt flies off. His jacket flies off. His fucking bald 109 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,880 head hits a metal pole. She's like boom. He gets up trying to fight again. He's fucking whether let me 110 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:42,240 put my damn jacket back on. I'm like bro you lost. Yeah don't fight a big girl. The moral of the story. 111 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:47,680 Don't fight girls in general. You they may beat your ass. Get a Ronda Rousey. Get a Ronda Rousey 112 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:55,760 cute old fucking flipped into the goddamn concrete. All right uh next question we have from reddit. 113 00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:00,800 There's room in your house where time uh no I already got that. I'm like wait a minute. Yeah it's for me. 114 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:10,800 Sorry uh next one. Has anyone ever gone through with a marriage pact? You know like if we're not 115 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:16,160 married by 30 we'll marry each other. How did it work out? That's stupid. Well this first person 116 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:22,320 uh they put my best friend and I made a pact when we were 18 that if we're both single when we're 117 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:28,480 30 let's just fucking kill each other. Oh god. I'm 29. I'm a little bit older than her. I'm scared. 118 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,320 Look at sniper scopes coming through the window. Like uh oh. 119 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:39,120 Next one. What are some good weird questions to ask someone to get to know them better? 120 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:48,480 How big's a blue whale's dick sir? Sir. Sir how big? Sir. Sir. How big? 121 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:54,640 I imagine sitting in one of those medical offices right? Yeah. And it's just me and 122 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,800 the guy gets like three or four uh seats down and there's no one just the two of us right? I get 123 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:04,160 bored of my I just slowly keep scooting over. Fork your way over. Yeah sir. 124 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,000 Have you ever seen a giraffe's vagina sir? Hey sir. 125 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:16,000 It's a random shit. That'd be a good prank show though. 126 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,280 Where you just randomly ask stupid questions like that. 127 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:27,920 The first response to that question was um what do you hate? Seriously you can have uh nothing 128 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,560 in common with a person but as soon as you realize you both hate the same things you'll feel like the 129 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:42,800 dude is family. That sounds like that's how nazis start organizing. Then you start saying 130 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:50,640 see high hall. Oh god. Next one we have uh teachers of reddit. What's the difference between 1997, 131 00:13:50,640 --> 00:14:01,040 2007 and 2017 students? The first response 1997 quit passing notes. 07 quit texting. 17 are you 132 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:10,880 seriously watching Netflix right now? Yeah. That does fit though. Next question. A man walks up to 133 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:15,760 you on the street and hands you a briefcase. He tells you there is a 50 chance of there being a 134 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:21,360 bomb which will explode on opening and a 50 chance that there's 10 billion dollars in it. 135 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:26,960 Do you open it? Why or why not? Unless that shit's on a credit card. You know damn 10 billion dollars 136 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:32,480 in a fucking briefcase. Unless it's a check that says 10 billion dollars on it it won't fit no damn 137 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:37,360 briefcase even if they were all hundreds. Exactly. It must be the dumbest man that's ever lived. 138 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,520 First response I don't get this question open it is a win-win situation. 139 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:52,720 Next question uh what would the person who named walkie talkies have named other items? Oh god 140 00:14:52,720 --> 00:15:03,920 choppy choppies. They're just knives. Drivey drivey. First response a pregnancy test maybe baby. 141 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:14,720 Next question males of redhead. I'm a man I think. Who give birthday blowjobs to their best friends 142 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:19,600 as a gift? When did you start this tradition and how did you find out about it and what happened? 143 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:30,160 The first response oh boy I think someone got you good. God. Dumb bastard. 144 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:41,040 Hey man they don't know. Oh my god. All right next question what is the dumbest solution to 145 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:50,480 a problem that actually worked? The first answer one of my friends is a teacher and he was finding 146 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:55,440 it hard to deal with kids dabbing in the class. That thing when they do that. Yeah yeah yeah. 147 00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:02,720 So he started doing it in a super white awkward dude way trying to fit in with no rhythm. 148 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,760 The kids stopped immediately. I imagine yeah they would. 149 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:16,160 Next question what does one hp of damage feel like in real life? One hp of damage is when a fucking 150 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:26,960 Just one hp though. One hp so it hurts but it doesn't hurt. Yeah. One hp of damage would be. 151 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:31,440 This one applies to you partially because the answer is probably something that you would say. 152 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:35,680 The first answer on this is hearing your own recorded voice played back to you. That's not 153 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:46,240 one hp of damage that's a status effect. Stun. It's like oh god. Cringe. One hp of damage would be 154 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:52,160 like um. The paper cuts more than one hp. That shit feels like a fucking it's like a residual 155 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:59,200 bleed damage. One hp would be let me think. Hitting your funny bone? No because that feels 156 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:05,840 fucking weird. That's paralysis. It wouldn't be stubbing your toe. That's like 10 or 20 points 157 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:12,000 for sure. Just one hp. One hp would be like if someone like comes up behind you and flicks to 158 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:21,520 the ear with their finger. Yeah yeah. It's annoying as fuck. All right next one we got. 159 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:29,360 They ask what is the best thing to say to someone to subtly fuck with their head. Hey sir. What sir? 160 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:41,680 Hey sir. You ever seen two donkeys? Never mind sir. I completely lost it. The person that first 161 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,680 responded they put. I would always ask my old roommate have you seen our toothbrush? 162 00:17:45,680 --> 00:18:01,600 I'd be like our. That would really suck. Our. And then the next thing is like your honor he said our. 163 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,120 It's like at that point I had to kill him. He said our. 164 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:15,120 I can't think of anything else that's funnier than that though. Well there's one here on the 165 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:23,280 Kumar where Harold has those nose hair clippers and then like he walks in on Kumar using to cut 166 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:30,480 his pubes. He's like I've been trimming my nose. I'll trim my nose for those. He's like I've been 167 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:40,400 trimming my pubes for six months. That's pretty weird. Yeah I mean I just. Imagine having a buddy 168 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:49,680 borrow a buddy's socks right. These are crusty as fuck sir. They're staying on their own. 169 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:59,200 God. Or having to like. I would never like sleep or like chill on another person's bed. 170 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:04,240 No. If there was like a dude right. I'm like man you nasty son of a bitch. 171 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:11,840 You just don't even want to know what happened right. If it was a chicks bed right. Cool. If 172 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:17,920 it's a couch. Well as long as it isn't Amber Heard's we'll be OK. Amber Heard's will take 173 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:24,400 and she gets on her bed. Yeah. Or that story. Amber turned Amber turned. It was a B. I swear 174 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:32,160 it was a B. But that is everything that we got for Reddit this week. Anything else to add before we 175 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:39,680 go. No. I'm tapped out creatively. Cool. We will see you guys on the next one. Sir you ever seen 176 00:19:39,680 --> 00:20:04,480 a monkey. This fight a dolphin.