1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,840 Hello and welcome back to Reddit Insanity. 2 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,840 I'm Michael. 3 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:14,840 I'm Noé. 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,480 And we are the Knights of Entertainment. 5 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,720 We've got some funny Reddit posts for you guys here. 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,720 Get ready for it. 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:27,760 It's going to be hard to top some of the other ones that we've had recently. 8 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:35,520 First one we got today is Not No, but it's posted by Not No Potato. 9 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,520 I like that. 10 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,520 Do you like the username? 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:39,520 Yeah. 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,760 Let me get my mic up to my face. 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,080 Okay, go ahead. 14 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,080 Alrighty. 15 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:51,840 So we have, it says, let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening. 16 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:57,760 My girlfriend, who let me tell you is only my second girlfriend of all time, that I am 17 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,080 invited to dinner with her and her parents. 18 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:07,700 I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation, but I knew 19 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,120 it must be done. 20 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,420 I met with them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. 21 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:18,920 The idea slapped in my mind that I should do a comedic bit to make a good impression. 22 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:19,920 No. 23 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,000 Don't do anything out of the ordinary. 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,000 I promise it's not that crazy. 25 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,760 And became known as the person who is amusing. 26 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:33,440 When I saw the baked potatoes were served, I got the idea that it would be a very good 27 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:38,360 idea to pretend that I did not know what potatoes were. 28 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,360 That would be funny. 29 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,120 That would be random as fuck. 30 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,440 Well, let me tell you. 31 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,440 Backfired on my face. 32 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,320 I'll tell you how. 33 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:51,240 So first, when the potato came on my plate, I acted very interested. 34 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:57,080 I showed an expression on my face as to seem that I was confused, astounded by, but in 35 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,460 a restrained way, curious and interested. 36 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:03,960 They did notice and seemed confused, but did not remark. 37 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,520 So I asked, this looks very interesting. 38 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,800 What is this? 39 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,600 They stared at me and the mother said, it's a baked potato. 40 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,960 And I was like, oh, interesting. 41 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,000 A baked, what is it again? 42 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000 Potato? 43 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,800 She was like, a potato. 44 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,120 And I was like, a potato. 45 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,120 Oh, interesting. 46 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,640 It is similar to a potato. 47 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,080 Never heard of a potato. 48 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,840 Looks pretty good. 49 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:36,360 And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what a potato 50 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,400 was. 51 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:43,260 So I knew I would be very ashamed, humiliated, depressed and disgusted if I admitted to making 52 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:44,260 a bad joke. 53 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:48,560 So what I did was to act as if it was not a joke, but I committed to the act of pretending 54 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,280 I did not know what a potato was. 55 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,280 Oh wow. 56 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:56,360 Their whole relationship, he has to get, oh, now I know that this is a potato, right? 57 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,160 They asked me, it was very incredulous. 58 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,660 Did I really not know what a potato is? 59 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,600 That I had never heard of a potato. 60 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:10,720 I went with it and told them, yes, I did not even, I've never even heard of a potato. 61 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,200 Not only had I never eaten a potato. 62 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:18,280 Double down, I had never even heard the word potato. 63 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,800 This went on for a bit. 64 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,520 My girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my fucked up antics. 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:30,300 And then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is, when their parents 66 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:33,720 started thinking I did know what one was. 67 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:40,200 Well, let me tell you, I had to commit a hundred percent at this point. 68 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,760 When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. 69 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,680 At one point he said something like, enough is enough. 70 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,680 You're fucking with us. 71 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:49,680 Admit it. 72 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:54,200 That's not more and more. 73 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,200 Jesus. 74 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,320 Then I said, sir, before today, I have never heard of a potato. 75 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,040 I still don't know what a potato is other than some kind of food. 76 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,600 I don't know what to tell you. 77 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,600 What? 78 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,880 Why don't you just admit, like I fucked up, yo. 79 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,880 I tried to impress you guys by being funny and pretend I don't know. 80 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,880 Now I'm lost. 81 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,880 I don't know what to do. 82 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,200 Let me tell you, he got very annoyed. 83 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,760 I decided to take a bite of the potato. 84 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:26,800 And whenever I did, I made a high pitched noise and said, it tastes very strange. 85 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,360 That is when the father started yelling at me and the mother kept saying, what are you 86 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,360 doing? 87 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,360 Oh, wow. 88 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,600 And my girlfriend went to some other room. 89 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,240 Finally, the father said, I should get the fuck out of his eye hole. 90 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,240 There you go. 91 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,680 And I said, it was irrational to treat me like this just because I've never heard of 92 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,680 what a potato was. 93 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,520 So he just kept going with it. 94 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:53,200 Let me tell you, he didn't take too kindly to that. 95 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,480 Now in text messages, I have to I have been telling my girlfriend, I don't really know 96 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,720 what a potato is. 97 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,680 I don't know the only way I will ever get out of this. 98 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,840 Is to get them to buy that I have never figured out what a potato was. 99 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,120 I wish I never started it, but I can't go back. 100 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,160 I think she'll break up with me anyway at this point. 101 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,160 Yeah. 102 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,160 I mean, Jesus Christ, how do you? 103 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,160 That's man. 104 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,160 Why would you get so mad? 105 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,800 You fucking with me? 106 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,800 You know what one is. 107 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,800 What would it be like? 108 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,360 It would be like, like, you don't know what water is. 109 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,040 You lion son of a bitch. 110 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:32,040 There's no way you everyone's no one knows what a potato is. 111 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:37,760 It's a it's a basic staple of human food for the most part. 112 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:38,760 Yeah. 113 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,800 But God dang Irish lived off of potatoes when they were starving. 114 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,800 What was it? 115 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,800 The Scottish? 116 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,800 One of them lived off of potatoes. 117 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,800 Irish. 118 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,800 Yeah. 119 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,480 Again, don't basically the moral of the story. 120 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:49,640 Don't don't try to be funny. 121 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,640 Yeah. 122 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,840 Just just be your natural self and maybe they'll like you. 123 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,840 All righty. 124 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:58,800 Next one we have is an Italian werewolf is the name of the poster. 125 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,600 Oh, all righty. 126 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:07,280 The story is, well, you can guess from the title that this was not today, but many moons 127 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:14,320 ago when I was a wee little lad doubled out of the many moons ago, my teacher was teaching 128 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:19,040 us about geography the whole week and I wanted to start a rock collection after my grandma 129 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,040 gave me. 130 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,600 If you just start me off, I was excited to start collecting them. 131 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,400 After school, one fateful day, I and my friend will call him Jake. 132 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,040 We're looking through the pile of rocks in the car. 133 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,040 We call him Jake. 134 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,040 What is his name? 135 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,520 Is his name Jake or is that we're just calling him at this point. 136 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,920 At least let me know you're not using his real name for whatever reason. 137 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,240 We were looking through a pile of rocks in the school when we found quartz or what we 138 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,240 thought was quartz. 139 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:50,960 I remember it so well how Jake put it up to his nose and took a big sniff. 140 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:56,400 So then like piles of shit he found probably. 141 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,560 Then it was time for me to be picked up by my dad and Jake broke the rock in half so 142 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,520 I could have a piece and he could have a piece. 143 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,320 It split into these little splinters which I just fiddled with in my hands. 144 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,880 Then my dad looked over. 145 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:15,840 Now he was at the time, but that's a wildly different story, a cop and immediately noticed 146 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,840 that it was a drug. 147 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:17,840 Oh boy. 148 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,400 He calmly told me to put it down. 149 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,080 Then once we got home, he pulled out a drug test. 150 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,080 Sure enough, it was meth. 151 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,560 God dang. 152 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,720 That took a turn. 153 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,840 My dad called the school and everything was fine. 154 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,120 He safely disposed of the meth and the stories overnight. 155 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,120 What about the Jake? 156 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,520 He's got a piece of it too. 157 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:41,200 Well no, because the school called Jake's dad and he was furious. 158 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,560 Not that there was meth, but that they thought it was meth. 159 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:48,320 He came into the office with a lighter and lit the meth saying it wasn't burning so it's 160 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,320 not meth. 161 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,320 Wait, wait, wait. 162 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,320 The father came in and started burning the rock. 163 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,200 Yeah, I get that, but why? 164 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,680 He said that it's not meth? 165 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,120 So basically he lit crystal meth in the school office. 166 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:05,340 The administration then called my dad, a cop at the time, saying that he was wrong. 167 00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:12,160 My dad called them out for lighting meth and that was the last of it until the next morning 168 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,120 when my principal pulled me aside and asked where I found it. 169 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,440 Then she told me to keep it a secret. 170 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:18,440 Oh wow. 171 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,920 So it's a crystal meth, huh? 172 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,920 Thanks a clip, yes. 173 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,200 Wait, okay, so I don't understand, why was the other father upset that it was not meth? 174 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,120 I think of it being accused of his son bringing meth home. 175 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,120 Oh. 176 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,480 It's not meth, it's a rock. 177 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,280 I'd be like, yo, if it's meth, it's meth. 178 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,560 He accidentally brought some meth home. 179 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:36,560 Right, it's not that big a deal. 180 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,360 I mean, it's a massive deal, but. 181 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,800 But as a kid, you don't know what it is. 182 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:41,800 Nah. 183 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,800 Okay. 184 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,320 Well, all righty. 185 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:50,160 Next one is from Southpaw as the user. 186 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,160 It goes. 187 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,160 What? 188 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,160 A Southpaw boxing thing. 189 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,040 That's probably why he created the name, yeah. 190 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,080 It says, once upon a time, me and my pal Zach were 12 years old. 191 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:05,000 It was a hot summer's day and we were bored with watching my dog mill about the yard. 192 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,480 Then Zach has an idea. 193 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,200 Zach suggests that we should go climb a tree. 194 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,200 Fun, right? 195 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,200 Wrong. 196 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,200 Okay. 197 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,200 Wrong. 198 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,200 Let's go climb a tree, bro. 199 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,200 I could not climb trees to save my life. 200 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,680 It was pretty embarrassing for a kid and I didn't want anyone to know about my climbing 201 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:18,680 deficiency. 202 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:23,360 So, in an effort to save my neighborhood image, I suggested that we climb the squat, grain 203 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,040 tree in the backyard. 204 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,760 Easy to get up into, easy to get out of, but Zach, oh, Zach. 205 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,960 Nah, that one's too small and the bark's scratchy anyway. 206 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,040 Let's climb the big one in the front yard. 207 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,040 Fuck. 208 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,080 Well, here we go. 209 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,040 Zach being a squirrel, darts up the tree and a comfortable branch near the trunk without 210 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,040 a care in the world. 211 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,720 I try in vain to scramble up the tree after him, but to no avail. 212 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,320 My legs were simply too long and gangly and my arms were too weak. 213 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:56,680 So being the clever little bastard I was, I scamper up, uh, scamper into the garage 214 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:02,000 and drag a bin of my brother, a big brother's baseball gear into the front yard so I can 215 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,160 get a leg up and it worked. 216 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,720 I clambered into the tree, huffing and puffing and settled myself on a branch a couple of 217 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,080 feet down from Zach. 218 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Me and Zach have a grand old time in the tree. 219 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,840 I remember we played movie charades. 220 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:20,520 I also specifically remember that Zach couldn't identify my silent rendition of Titanic. 221 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,720 Come on, Zach. 222 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,960 Then my dad leans out the screen door and shouts at us damn kids to get out of his tree 223 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,520 and we comply. 224 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,880 Zach tells me to get down first since I'm lower down than him. 225 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,880 Shit. 226 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:40,360 Now, it wasn't too long or too big of a drop, but my brain set all the files on logic on 227 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:47,160 fire locked and take a leap of faith to the green grass, the soft green summer grass below. 228 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,600 But I never hit the grass. 229 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,720 My shorts, the pocket of my shorts caught the knob of a tree on the branch and now I'm 230 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,020 dangling upside down. 231 00:10:55,020 --> 00:11:05,120 Half my ass showing to the world for the world to see screaming, laughing and crying. 232 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,440 In my front yard, people drove by. 233 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,440 People were walking their dogs. 234 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,440 Look at his ass. 235 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:16,280 My shiny white asses was witness to the goings on of the suburban neighborhood for 30 fucking 236 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,280 minutes. 237 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,280 Jesus, Zach. 238 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,040 Zach, how are you? 239 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,200 Before Zach pulled himself together enough to go get my dad for help. 240 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:28,120 It took him 30 minutes to get himself composed enough to get some help. 241 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,600 He laughed his ass off. 242 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,600 Jesus Christ, Zach. 243 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,520 Zach falls ungracefully out of the tree and runs home. 244 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,520 What? 245 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,640 See, what I didn't know is that Zach wasn't abandoning me. 246 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,920 Zach pissed himself laughing and was running home for more pants. 247 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,320 Oh, Jesus, Zach. 248 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,960 Presumably he didn't want to draft my old man's help smelling of piss and tears of laughter. 249 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,680 A good five minute goes by. 250 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,720 I've accepted my fate at this point. 251 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,240 I've stopped struggling. 252 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,280 My ass is still out. 253 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:04,160 Zach crests the hill, but divided our house and just let out a carol wall of surprise 254 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,420 and disbelief that he'd returned. 255 00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:09,520 My knight in shining armor. 256 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,320 He knocked on the door and my mother, bless her heart, pokes her head out of the screen. 257 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:20,000 I hear Zach say from my perch, South Pole over here is stuck. 258 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,880 And out of the corner of her eye, my mother sees her son dangling by his cargo shorts 259 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:29,840 out of the tree, just dejectedly squirming at this point. 260 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,960 She was laughing so hard she could barely lift me off the branch when she got out. 261 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:40,200 And just help me without turning into our god damn comedic spectacle. 262 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,400 Imagine falling out of a tree and your passion getting. 263 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,920 Booty hole just straight out for the world to see. 264 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:46,920 For 30 minutes. 265 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:47,920 30 long ass minutes. 266 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:48,920 Jesus Christ. 267 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,800 And then you have to go wait after the 30 minutes for him to go get help. 268 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,360 I'd be thinking like, man, I hope I wipe my ass well today. 269 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:59,520 Have you ever seen that video of that cop that tried to jump a fence and his pants came 270 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,520 down but he has a skid mark? 271 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,520 Oh no. 272 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,520 Jesus Christ, yo. 273 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,520 Please stop. 274 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,120 This is why you always only wear one. 275 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,520 You wear the pair of underwear once. 276 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,800 Then you put them in the laundry bin. 277 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,400 Regardless, you shouldn't have enough shit on your ass to leave them work. 278 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,120 Yeah, but that could be it could be accumulated. 279 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:24,400 Like sometimes guys keep wearing the same and like it just builds up like the farting 280 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,720 and the bodily functions are horrendous. 281 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,200 Don't wear white underwear. 282 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,200 That's what I stop wearing white underwear. 283 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,240 Actually, that's not really I just I just didn't like tighty whities. 284 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,280 You feel like a little kid? 285 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,680 Yeah, I mean, you can keep them clean. 286 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,960 I don't know what the hell the guy the cop was doing with his fucking shit. 287 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:51,560 I never had a shit mark the size of a fucking crayon. 288 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,160 Next one is from legendary bandaid. 289 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,160 Swipe your ass I'm saying. 290 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:02,480 All right, the legendary bandaid says, man, I've had so many it's hard to choose from 291 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:07,280 sophomore in high school in biology when I suddenly needed to use the restroom. 292 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,280 Somebody what? 293 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,280 Do I know? 294 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,800 You said he had so many what? 295 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:12,800 So many stories. 296 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:13,800 Oh, okay. 297 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:19,520 But sophomore in high school in biology, when he suddenly needs restroom, they always had 298 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,000 a sign out sheets. 299 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,360 So I was signing myself out right in front of my crush's desk. 300 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:30,200 I bent over and arched my back so he'd have a real nice view of my ass and my American 301 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,720 Eagle jeans. 302 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,000 Even wiggled it a bit. 303 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,800 I was a flirt. 304 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,920 Get to the bathroom and realize I was wagging around my period stained ass for a whole world 305 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:39,920 to see. 306 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,760 Oh, and it was really bad to like flag of Japan bad. 307 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:44,760 Jesus Christ. 308 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:49,520 It's a solid red dot on a white cloth. 309 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,640 Had to wear my friend sweatshirt around my waist the rest of the day. 310 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:57,200 And I definitely know my crush saw it because he was really, he was a really nice guy and 311 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,040 said something to my female teacher while I was gone. 312 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,960 So she could let me know. 313 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,760 Cringing all over again. 314 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:04,760 Damn. 315 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,760 Yeah. 316 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,120 So don't, don't wag your ass in front of people. 317 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680 That's the moral of the story because you don't know what's back there. 318 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,680 Yeah. 319 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:17,440 To be a cop with a dirty asshole. 320 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,320 And last one for today. 321 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,520 This is from a nightesh to 410. 322 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,520 What was that? 323 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,520 Oh, you're fine. 324 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,520 Okay. 325 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:25,520 Alrighty. 326 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:30,040 Uh, this person says, I have so damn many stories. 327 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,760 Let me start with this. 328 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:37,880 Whenever I was about 17 or so I was in my, uh, I was at my wealthy girlfriend's house 329 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,840 on a lazy summer afternoon. 330 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,240 It's just me and her and their giant house. 331 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,000 And my girl decides to take a shower. 332 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,240 I'm in her room. 333 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,240 Pretty bored. 334 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,040 When I, whenever I decide to investigate, I raffle through her underwear. 335 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,040 He did. 336 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,040 Oh, man. 337 00:15:52,040 --> 00:16:00,800 Sometimes you're curious and she is his girlfriend. 338 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,440 So hopefully she won't mind. 339 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:10,920 So he puts when I decide to investigate her underwear drawer, I find a tiny sequiny pink 340 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:16,960 thong and decided it would be funny if my 200 pound well belt at the time. 341 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,440 So surprised my girl by wearing them. 342 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:20,440 Oh no, bro. 343 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,440 No, don't do that. 344 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:31,480 It's like trying to stuff a sausage into a, well, into a pair of underwear. 345 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,960 I hear the shower turned off in a minute later. 346 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,600 You like what you see? 347 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,200 I hear someone coming down the hall. 348 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,960 I started strutting down the hallway. 349 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:40,960 Oh no. 350 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,960 Wait, wait. 351 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960 No, no, no. 352 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960 Who was it? 353 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960 Who do you want me to? 354 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,960 No, no. 355 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:46,960 I can tell. 356 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:47,960 Oh, I'm sorry. 357 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:52,400 I'm him at this point. 358 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,400 No. 359 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,400 What do you actually put me to? 360 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,400 It's funny. 361 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:03,720 You know what's going to happen. 362 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,200 I can just, I always, I can always connect the dots quick. 363 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:13,720 Naked, but for this tiny shiny thong and my mediocre dick and giant balls hanging out 364 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,200 one side of it. 365 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,200 God. 366 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,960 And then she sees me. 367 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,680 She the South American housekeeper. 368 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,680 Oh man. 369 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,680 Yo, no. 370 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,680 It's good to meet you ma'am. 371 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,680 I'm going to leave now. 372 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:34,880 I hear a half, I hear half of her frightened gasp before I threw her back into the bedroom. 373 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:35,880 God dang. 374 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,880 Not even like scream. 375 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:47,920 She fucking died that day. 376 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,920 Oh yeah. 377 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:54,160 It's just a random white boy. 378 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:59,240 I'll get a deck whipped out. 379 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:03,480 He says he avoided this poor woman for the next two years of the relationship that he 380 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,480 had with the girl. 381 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,480 Fuck. 382 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:06,480 Yo, no. 383 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,440 He does stuff like this all the time. 384 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,440 Oh wow. 385 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,440 He didn't learn his lesson. 386 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,360 I would never, I would just be like, I'm going to have to not hang out with you anymore. 387 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,360 I'm sorry. 388 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,360 I'm going to break up with you. 389 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,360 It's like we're done with this. 390 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360 We can't do it no more. 391 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,840 I'd be like, I would probably sit the family down like, dude, how much do you like your 392 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,840 house cleaner? 393 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:25,840 Is there any way? 394 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:31,440 But imagine if it was somebody like Consuela from Family Guy. 395 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:36,040 Like no, no, no, no. 396 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,040 Oh good. 397 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,040 Shit stains. 398 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,040 No, no. 399 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,040 I clean, I clean. 400 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,040 I'm Mexican, so don't worry. 401 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:52,560 Imagine if it was the dad could all get his ass whipped right there. 402 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,160 It's what people do in relationships. 403 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:59,600 You know, you put your dick through a donut, you send your girl a picture, whatever man. 404 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,600 It's whatever. 405 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:06,520 I'm just saying, you know, not from experience. 406 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,800 I'm just, I'm guessing, you know, you do stuff. 407 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,800 You put it on her thumb. 408 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,800 Nah, I don't wear women's clothing. 409 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,840 And then go strut down the hall. 410 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,680 Your dick and balls are hanging outside. 411 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:27,640 Fucking just ripping through the seam of her underwear, her Hello Kitty underwear. 412 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,280 That is all we got for Reddit today and we will talk to you guys next week. 413 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,400 If I give a raise, no doubt. 414 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,400 Bye. 415 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,400 Goodbye. 416 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:58,360 Bye.