Hello and welcome everybody to episode 15 of the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering deep dives into your favorite
and then known comic books, movies, games, and more weekly.
We appreciate you tuning in and hope you enjoy the show.
This is what we are covering tonight.
We got three little bits of cinema today, Avalon, The One, and an episode of Curb Your
Enthusiasm.
Awesome.
But before we do, like, follow, and subscribe to the channel.
Now let's get into this deep dive.
Alright, so let's start with Avalon.
I caught it on Paramount Plus if you guys want to check it out.
So basically it's a 2001 movie.
It's a Japanese-Poland co-production.
I think Poland wanted to make a movie, but they didn't have the expertise behind the
scenes, right?
So they hired a Japanese film studio to film the behind the scenes stuff.
Which film house?
I have no idea.
I didn't know if that could be anything.
I had to try to read through all the credits and I was like, there was a lot of companies
here.
Oh really?
But a lot of them were like Japanese names.
But there's only like, you know, Caucasian people in the movie.
So it had to be, that's my theory, that Poland wanted to make a movie, but they had to outsource
the actual filming.
The actual film houses to do the work?
Yeah, to do the, I guess they had the script and they just hired some directors and you
know, all the Japanese companies just filmed everything and they had their actors.
It's the best thing, I didn't look much into it.
It's a 2001 film.
It's a dystopian world where it's just like a shithole to live in.
It's just a daily grind from morning to night.
You work, you eat, you sleep, that's it.
There's like, there's like the void of emotion in this world.
So North Korea?
I guess.
A little bit.
There's a black hole every time the fucking satellite goes over it.
And the only outlet they have for fun is a virtual reality game called Avalon.
And it's basically like a first person shooter, but it's virtual reality so it's like a real
first person shooter.
And the best players make money off the game.
This is 2001, you know, YouTubers haven't been invented yet.
Let's play.
So this is wild to me.
And let me think, damn it, this is why I always have to get ready.
So the best players get paid and they get really famous and this is pretty much all
they do is they watch Avalon.
This is like their fucking sports for them.
Because there's nothing else.
I've watched the movie, there's nothing else they do.
It's like a precursor to eSports.
Kinda, yeah.
Especially like eSports.
But the society, it's almost like it's 1960s or right after World War II where everything
is really low tech, they're trying to rebuild.
But then they have this high tech virtual reality stuff.
Their clothes are old looking, you know?
I'm like, Jesus, they live in a post apocalypse.
Kind of like an episode of Stargate or something like that where they go into a world that
looks like it's medieval but they have all the technology still just slightly updated
though.
Like the tech, high tech in certain parts but low tech in other parts of life.
So the most famous players, they get paid and they get really popular.
And one of them, her name is Ash and she's pretty much the main protagonist, well she's
the only protagonist of the movie.
Normally players work together in teams and it's very rare for a solo player to be working
with Avalon.
She used to be part of a team called Wizard and they were like the team.
No losses ever until they had a single loss and it tore the whole team apart.
Apparently being that good just tore the whole team apart.
One tiny loss they couldn't recover from.
So the team split up, Ash went on her way and now she's playing the game by herself.
She's warrior class, level like 13.
It's really like respectful to the game mechanics and terminology.
Compared to some of the other things that have been made where it's like ehh.
Like when they talk about hacking, like hacking computers and it looks all goofy.
So stupid.
So that's basically the opening of the movie.
It's just her playing the game, living her regular life and then going back to play the
game.
So they needed a way to move the plot along.
So at a certain point there's this guy named Stunner who was one of her old teammates from
Wizard because they bump into each other.
And he's like oh shit Ash is that you?
He's so happy to see her.
And Stunner's just there to move the plot along.
He moves the plot twice in this movie.
The first time they meet they go out to eat and they're just eating like this.
It looks post apocalyptic that they're like in some dungeon or some cellar eating fucking.
They're getting food out of like you know like those old cafeterias.
You got waiting line, you get your food.
They're eating like fucking porridge or something.
And Stunner, it's just he's eating away.
And you know Ash is just there and Stunner's talking.
He used to be the thief for the team.
And thieves can't play solo.
It's like impossible because you know they need to fight.
He was just good for scouting and scavenging and taking stuff.
So he's been struggling.
You know Ash is famous.
She's making all these fucking big bucks.
And so he tells her about Murphy, their old team leader, and how he's now a Unreturned.
Unreturned being people that play the game and then their consciousness gets stuck in
the game and their body's just taken to a hospital and they're just lifeless like a
vegetable.
So like Sword Art Online?
Yeah, pretty much.
They're just talking to a bunch of people.
She goes to visit Murphy and they're all just fucking lifeless.
So she's like, he tells her that Murphy was looking for this Easter egg called the Ghost,
which is this little girl in the game that if you find her and you kill her, you unlock
another level, a super secret level in the game that no one's ever been to.
Or if they have been to it, they never come back.
It's impossible to come back from this level.
You have to beat it to get out of this level.
So she's like, well, now I got to find out about this extra level.
So she starts researching and she meets Stunner the second time, right?
And it's just more a little plot movement.
And the second time he's eating again, right?
A shitload of food.
And I kid you not, they fucking panned in on him eating, right?
Like it was like two, three minutes long.
He's eating eggs and sausage and fucking hash browns.
And it was up close on his face.
I was like, are you fucking sick?
I was so bad because it would not go away.
He's eating and eating.
He's the only actor I've ever seen eat that much in a fucking scene.
I wonder how many times they made him redo that scene.
That's what I was worried about.
He's just, he's like, slap, grab.
And she fucking leaves right after she gets more information about the Easter egg.
Because she wanted to find out how you activate it.
Apparently you need a bishop on your team to activate it.
And she thought about switching teams or switching classes from warrior to bishop.
He's like a bishop?
To get it to level 13, you have to get twice EXP.
It's really like game.
I liked that part.
But I didn't like him fucking stuffing his face.
And I should have clipped it for you to watch.
I'm like, oh my God.
Fucking drool dripping out his fucking chin.
And then she leaves right.
And he's like, you're going to finish that?
And they meet up again in the game, right?
And he has the fucking cornea shit.
Did you pack a lunch?
I was so fucking mad.
You nasty son of a bitch.
So the best part of this movie for me was that she had this little, Ash had this little
bloodhound dog that she would come and see him every time she left Avalon.
She'd go home and this little dog was always waiting for her there.
He's all excited.
Like, oh, you're back, you know, little droopy dog.
And she would feed him like pimple level amount of food, like a big ass bowl of food every
time that she would see this dog.
And at this one time when she gets back, she has real meat because apparently real food
is expensive.
And she had real and she was going to cook him some food.
She was going to cook him real beef, potatoes, rice, carrots, cabbage, an apple.
Like she was this.
This was like better food than normal people in that world have.
And she's cooking it.
It was a huge cooking montage and I had a cooking show because I like the cooking.
I like cooking montage.
There's no talking.
Yeah.
Let me see the food cooking.
Everyone be quiet.
That's why I can't watch cooking shows.
They talk too much that just cook the food.
Shut the fuck up.
And she's cooking it.
I'm watching it.
You know, she's putting it in a pot to boil.
Put it all together.
I'm like, God dang, that shit looks delicious.
I'll eat it out of that dog bowl too.
And she puts it in a dog bowl and she goes out to give it to the dog and she looks around
and there's no fucking dog.
Like the dog's gone.
And I'm like, bitch, was that dog even real?
Like it went into my head.
Yeah.
The movie's been like hinting at reality.
Right.
And I'm like, bitch, is that dog even fucking real?
I was so mad.
And I knew there was something wrong because when she brought the food in that time, the
dog was barking, right?
And it was, you could hear it walking around the hardwood floors, but you couldn't see
him.
Like the camera was angled just a little bit higher than he would have been.
Yeah.
The other time you saw him, twice, three times you see this dog.
But this last time, all you hear is the barking and the pattering around the food.
It was a little nail tapping on the hardwood floor.
Yeah.
But you didn't see the dog.
And I was, that's kind of fucking weird.
I already knew from that moment, like there's something weird going to happen.
And lo and behold, the dog's not even probably real.
Not only that, but she buys some books.
She buys like six or seven books, right?
And when this guy comes to her apartment to talk to her, cause he's the bishop and then
we're going to team up to find the ghost girl, he opens the book and it's fucking blank.
I'm like, what is happening?
I'm like, I'm real confused.
So eventually she does, she goes with the bishop that she meets.
And by the way, there's like a game mechanic where it's always three hits and you beat
a boss in certain games.
I thought that was like a, like, I guess it's always been around because in that, they had
to fight a tank and she hit it three times with a rocket launcher in a certain spot.
And the third hit destroyed it.
Like three hits like on a Bowser in a Mario game or like that.
I guess that's always been a game mechanic that I've never noticed till recently.
Like the hit of threes.
So she finds little girl, kills her and she goes to the new level called class, what is
it?
Class, what'd they call it?
Class real.
Now here's the thing about this fucking movie.
The whole time the movie has a weird yellow tinge around it and it started in the game.
I'm like, oh, they just have a way to differentiate.
Like it was yellow.
The screen was yellow.
I guess they're just differentiating the game world from the real world.
So the game world, it looks terrible too.
I'm like, oh my fucking God.
And then she gets out of the virtual reality back to the real world.
I'm like, oh, and it's still fucking yellow.
Still the same yellow tinge.
I'm like, what the fuck?
The whole movie has this weird fucking light to it.
And I was like, why did they pick this odd filter for this movie?
And it was bothering me the whole movie.
And then she gets to class real.
She's got a mission to kill somebody in that world, but she's not allowed to kill anyone
else in this world.
She only has one target.
She fails, it's over for her.
She succeeds, she can get out of class real.
And so she comes out of this corridor, comes up to the surface, because I guess it's like
below level.
And she opens the door and it's fucking our world.
2001.
The light, the filter changes and it's in color.
Like it would be like we're seeing right now.
I'm like, oh, so it was an artistic choice they made to make that shitty ass fucking
filter.
90% of that movie.
I give them credit for it.
But I'm glad that it was their choice, that they didn't think that that was such a good
filter that they used in the whole movie.
And it's like now 100% real.
The world is now real.
So class real, this virtual reality level is more real than the real world that they
live in.
It's what it looks like.
Because it's our world.
2001, our world.
Not much changing.
Not much changed from those 20 years.
Same clothing, cars.
So it's just our world.
And I guess they tried to say that reality is what you make it.
Like oh, maybe the whole time it was reality or they were in a virtual reality.
Now this is the real world.
But now when she kills the guy in the class real, he fucking like disintegrates like they
do in video games where they disappear.
So I think shit blew my mind.
Like everything's virtual reality.
Even the real world where she thought was the real world, she started hearing like weird
like helicopters in her head that would only be in the game but they were in the real world.
So it's like I guess they tried to explain like or reality is what you make it.
I guess.
I think I've repeated like six times now because I don't know how to explain it.
The movie is trippy and if you want to check it out, go ahead.
But I was like man this movie is fucking odd.
So I wonder if the whole thing is that every bit of it is fake.
I guess so.
Like the whole thing is all like you know how there's that the thought or whatever that
everything's a simulation.
Well if you like that type of thing, I guess maybe that's what they were trying to say.
Maybe they like the Matrix and I just made a movie off of it.
But it was like man there's a lot of stuff happening in one fucking movie.
They also had at the end of the movie a fucking full on I shit you not orchestra.
Like the whole I had the wife's like every time you think it was over they kept going.
They had it was what the Warsaw Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra, Warsaw Philharmonic Choir
and the National Choir of Poland.
They had first violin, second violin, violas, flutes, double basses or basses, I don't know
what they call them.
All bows, cellos, French horns, sopranos, altos, tenures, percussion clarinets, trombones,
timpani, tubas and basses.
I'm like oh my they had a full on, that was on the credits too, a full on fucking orchestra.
And the movie ends with like I guess because the young return never come back to their
bodies, maybe they all just stay in class real.
Because it's much better there than the fucking dystopia she was living in.
And this little girl ends up on the stage, the whole orchestra disappears.
It's just Ash with a handgun pointing at this little girl on the stage, the ghost girl.
And the girl's girl has this, she's blue now and she's giving her this really creepy smile
and that's how the movie ends.
That's what this girl, the little girl smiling at us right?
And she was blue right?
So in my head they should have ended it with that blue song, like I'm blue.
It's like I'm blue now.
That's how the movie ended in my head.
That's how the movie ended.
Another weird note before we end on Avalon is I think the director had a foot fetish.
Because Ash was barefoot a lot in that movie and there was two scenes of following her
from foot level while she's barefoot.
Early in the movie and when she got to class real.
I'm like oh man loves him some feet but okay.
I wonder if it also was a foreshadowing that there was no dog there.
Well no because her feet are just there in random scenes.
I'm saying was it down that low so that way you could see like the floor level maybe?
Well the floor level where her feet's at, when she got out of virtuality the first time
at the beginning of the movie, she gets off with a little fucking seat she's on and she's
barefoot walking and you just follow her feet.
Okay so it doesn't show anything around.
So green turn.
Hey that's what Jetson, it's all you bro.
He wanted to share his fetish with the world.
Quentin Tarantino I guess directed this movie too.
Yeah that would make some sense.
So overall decent movie, worth the watch.
Go ahead check it out.
If you want to just you know don't be high while you watch it or you'll question your
whole reality.
Alright so now we move on to The One with Jet Li.
Like who hasn't seen The One?
That was a good movie.
Also 2001.
I didn't plan on it but it just happened.
You know you got Jet Li as multiple characters, he plays Gable Law, Lawless and Gabriel Ulaw.
You got Jason Statham with hair.
You got Agent Evan Funch and you got Delroy Lindo as agent Rodecker.
Now this movie follows the multiverse theory that there is an infinite amount of universes
and in those infinite amount of universes there's an infinite amount of you.
Like just various versions of you.
Made very popular by the Loki series but more by Rick and Morty.
That's really where the multiverse theory really picked up.
The string theory type thing.
But in this universe, in this movie, there's only 124 universes.
Because I mean it's called The One and I'll tell you why.
So I guess once particular universe discovered that there was multiple universes mirroring
theirs with slight variations here and there and technology and all that.
And so they put it upon themselves to form an agency to monitor and keep everything in
balance because sometimes there's like uncontrollable wormholes that open up between universes.
So they had to police everything.
So they call it the multiverse authority.
And one agent of the multiverse authority was a man named Gabriel Ulaw.
One time during one of his missions he was attacked by a version of himself and he was
forced to kill that version of himself.
And there's a theory that if all of your other versions of yourself die, their energy or
life force will go to you making you a god.
When he killed that version he felt that increase in strength, speed, and stamina and intelligence.
So he figured that it was real.
It was true, the theory.
So then he decided to go about killing every single one of his other versions.
Basically the movie is Jet Li killing other Jet Li's.
So he gets captured early on but he escapes right after.
And when they capture him they go through his whole crimes, how many murders he's committed.
So at the start of the movie he has killed 120 variants of himself.
Yeah.
They say 124 universes right?
But they're not counting the alpha universe.
They count that as zero because they're saying 123, there's only one left, is Gabriel Ulaw.
That's 124.
But Jason Statham's character tells the good Jet Li that there's 124 universes.
That doesn't make any sense.
It might have been a plot hole or maybe I didn't watch it right.
But that would make 25 because they still have to count the alpha universe.
Which is what they call themselves with the multiverse authority.
They call themselves the alpha universe.
Look at Dogg's howling in the wind.
So that's what I guess maybe I got wrong.
You hear that?
Look at Dogg's going off on each other.
So who did he kill?
They pretty much went down the whole line of all his deaths, 123 deaths.
But you only see, they started at 117 when we get there.
So one of his kills is Yu-Fuk Law from the Montessorius universe.
It's fucking Jet Li with some dreadlocks.
118, Swann Law, Tukana universe.
I kid you not, he looks like an Asian Fred from Scooby Doo.
Like with the blonde hair and the blue shirt.
He looks like Fred, I kid you not.
119, we have Nai Dai Law from the Canopus universe.
We have 120, Kai J Law from the Serpent universe.
He looks like a triad crime boss.
He looks better as a bad guy than a good guy sometimes.
121, Seth Law from the Procyon universe.
122, Fran Law from the Shaolin universe.
And 123, Lawless from the Anubis universe.
That one you actually see him kill on screen at the beginning of the movie.
So that's the ones that they show.
I wish they show all of them, but that would bog down the movie so much.
There's only two left when he kills Lawless.
It's Gabriel Yu-Law, the bad guy.
You got Gabe Law, the good guy.
Now how powerful did they become?
How powerful was Yu-Law toward the end of the movie?
Let's see.
So Yu-Law is able to pick up a 200 pound man effortlessly and hold him outstretched in
his hands and use him to block a bunch of bullets.
Hello everybody, Michael here.
Unfortunately the rest of this podcast has been a corrupted file and is no longer usable.
So unfortunately it does not exist along with another full length podcast that was corrupted
as well, which turned out to be completely unusable.
We will still have our midweek definitions and we'll tack on Reddit Insanity, which
is normally a YouTube rumble only type video.
And to make it up to you guys, we will also have three full length podcasts next week.
We appreciate your understanding and we hope to see you guys next week.