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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noé.

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And we are the Knights of Entertainment podcast covering your favorite or none of the movies,

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games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.

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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.

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If you'd like to support us on BuyMeACoffee.com, it is BuyMeACoffee.com forward slash K-O-E

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podcast.

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Let's go ahead and get started.

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All right.

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So we are back to The White-Eyes Kid Juno, one of my old, I guess, favorite sketch shows.

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I didn't know how nostalgic it was until I started rewatching the whole season again

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on Tubi.

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And it's like, wow, this is highly enjoyable.

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It's also funny how much you remember and how much of stuff like, oh yeah, I remember

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that some of the gross stuff you don't like.

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So we've done the first two seasons.

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This is not a clip show, by the way.

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Don't tell us you've been had in the comments.

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This is a talk show where we talk about what we enjoyed.

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And this does not go for anybody listening on a podcast because you guys aren't getting

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video anyway.

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Right.

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Some dude is on the fucking YouTube channel.

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I've been had.

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And then me too.

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Like how many of you have been had if those fucking videos are only 28 minutes long?

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The episodes are 24 minutes on their own.

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So I just matched five episodes at fucking four times speed.

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Is what you're telling me?

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These are fucking brains for once.

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I swear, man, dumb people make me mad.

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All right.

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So this is season one, episode one through five.

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So it's going to be a talk about my favorite skits of those particular episodes.

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And out of the group, Sam, he had out of like the five episodes, he has three on here.

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Oh really?

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Of his skits.

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He had a banger after banger for three straight episodes.

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I'm like, wow.

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Like Sam really hit a peak on these first five episodes of the season.

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So in the first episode, there's a commercial called Feline Delights about how this new

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food for the cat would make your cat more amorous to make it more amorous or more receptive

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to your affection.

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So basically this woman's fucking her cat after the cat eats the Feline Delights.

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It starts like a regular cat thing, like a regular cat commercial.

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And then it gets creepy right when they start banging the cat.

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I'm talking about like cowgirl riding a cat.

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Oh my God.

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You don't see that.

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You see the girl riding.

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You don't see anything underneath her because of the VCR.

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But that's the implication there.

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And so the commercial, it's got another main cast in it.

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It's like two actresses.

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So it cuts from that to a woman and a cat sitting on their couch.

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And like in the commercial, the woman was all dressed up in lingerie, looking all sexy

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and all that.

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And in the cut to the house, the cat and the woman, she's like doing her pajamas.

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It's like a regular night in watching TV.

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And the cat looks over at the, after watching the commercial, looks over at the table in

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the kitchen.

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So you can see it from the couch in the living room.

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And you see the box of Feline Delights.

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And the cat gets mad and leaves.

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And the girl tries to explain, like, I didn't know about the commercial.

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I didn't mean that.

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Don't lean.

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Like she puts her hand on her head because she knew she fucked up.

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So then she's gonna have to figure out how to explain to the cat.

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You know what I mean?

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It made it seem like a relationship trope.

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Well, like there's trouble in the relationship.

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Yeah, but it's like the relationship trope and the cat lady thing.

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Yeah.

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And I was like, what the fuck is going on in this first episode?

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All right.

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So on episode two, this is, it is Trevor and Timmy.

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Trevor is playing the straight character.

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By that I mean it's the one that's not the comedy relief.

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Like a straight character in Bits is the one that kind of heightens the comedy by being

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like the normal reaction.

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I guess that's hard to explain comedy sometimes.

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How do you explain comedy really?

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Yeah.

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So he's a straight character and Timmy is the comedy character.

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And for whatever reason, they always put Timmy in a shirtless seat.

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He's always fucking shirtless because he's just like, he's got this fucking, like, he's

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like, he looks like he's thin, right?

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Arms are thin, legs are thin, face is thin, but he's got like a beard gut.

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Like he's got a gut on him.

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That's like, God dang, Timmy.

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So Trevor's saying that he's playing a doctor and Timmy is there for the checkup.

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And he asked Timmy, cause they had just got the blood work bag and he's like, Timmy, how

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many, in a single day, how many hot dogs would you say you eat?

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And Timmy's like, in a single day, hot dogs?

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So yeah, like he tells him like, let's go through a little like exercise, starting with

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the morning and going into the night.

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Let's go hour by hour and tell me how many hot dogs you think you eat in a day.

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And he's like, I don't know, maybe seven, seven hot dogs.

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Yeah.

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Is that high?

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It's a little bit high.

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Like, why don't you like, and then they go through a little exercise.

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So for breakfast, I eat, you know, I wake up, brush my teeth, you know, take a shower before

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we eat two hot dogs.

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And they're like, okay, two hot dogs for breakfast and he writes it, Trevor writes it down.

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And he's like, yeah, two hot dogs for breakfast.

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And then I hop into work and wait, wait, Timmy, before you go into work, does anything happen

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on the way from your house, job?

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He's like, well, on the way to the subway, there is a hot dog stand and I get another

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hot dog.

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Oh, so three hot dogs.

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Well, yeah, you know, cause you know, cause that was my first hot, no, you had hot dogs

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for breakfast.

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And I was like, well, those don't really count.

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This is like a snack hot dog or you know, he's trying to like, trying to justify hot

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dogs.

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So then I was like, all right, so what goes on Timmy?

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And during work, sometimes I work, I work so hard and so long, so many hours that sometimes

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I just completely blow through lunch.

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I don't even have anything.

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So I really, Timmy, well, I think I did that one time.

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Like, all right, Timmy, so what do you eat for lunch at your job?

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And he's like, you know, a salad or, you know, a healthy chicken sandwich or something.

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And like, really Timmy, is that what you eat?

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No.

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What do you eat for lunch?

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How many hot dogs Timmy do you eat for lunch?

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And I don't know, man, one to three or four, three or four, huh?

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It better is better go with four.

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So four hot dogs.

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Well, I don't know Timmy, it's lunchtime and we're already at seven hot dogs.

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You really think you did?

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Is that you sure?

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You said seven hot dogs in a day, but you're already at seven and it's only lunchtime.

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He's like, yeah, that number's probably a little low.

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So he must be fucking just down in hot dogs.

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I love the fact, to me, I love the fact that he eats so many fucking hot dogs, it showed

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up on a blood test.

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You know what I mean?

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Like he's just consuming hot dogs like an animal.

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Because aside from like, we're like the only creatures I can think of that needs like a

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diverse diet to stay healthy.

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A dog could eat the same fucking dry and wet dog food for the rest of his life and be fine.

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Bears?

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That's not the only thing I can think of.

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It's not in my head anyway.

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But man, like lions, they just eat me.

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I guess if you count the type of animal they eat.

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I caught a boar today, yesterday I caught a, we actually got a hippo.

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It took the whole pride to catch a hippo all the lions.

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I mean, we've only been eating antelope for a while.

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You know, we finally got us a hippo.

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A couple of hyenas we caught.

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They even eat them their own actually.

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When there was a battle between males one time in some brutal ass video.

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These three lions jumped one male lion and one of them broke the male lion's spine and

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he fucking passed on the ate him.

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I'm like, God dang, nature's wild as fuck.

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And yet we have vegans that think that cats are vegetarians.

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And fuck no, they will eat you and not give a fuck.

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They will eat your baby in front of you and not, you can't, they will fucking kill you

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without a second thought.

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This ain't a Disney movie.

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No.

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It's a movie that might not kill you as a dog.

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Right.

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And I said, they like you or is there just that nature?

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Like, uh, like, uh, what was the dog's name?

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A Hachiko from Japan.

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You've heard that story.

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I'm sure one that stayed on the fucking train tracks, the subway to like that was a, that

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was a loyal dog.

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Right.

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But your cat don't give a fuck.

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I mean more like wild animals.

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They would not care at all.

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I just, I mean even domestic.

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You think that cat care, let that cat not eat food for a few days.

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Probably eat your fucking hair off.

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Exactly.

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I do love cats though.

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All right.

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So episode three, uh, this is the beginning of the, the Sam run.

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Uh, he has this, he starts trying to develop telekinesis just with his mind, like to move

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objects with his mind.

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And he starts with a simple pen that at first moves just a little bit.

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And then over time he gets to go up and down like considerably.

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Yeah.

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And you can like, you can truly tell he's got telekinesis and what did he do with his

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great fucking power?

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He fucking jacks himself off.

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I didn't even think that would, you know what I mean?

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It's one of those things you never thought about.

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Like when you do, you're like, oh yeah, I guess that would be a, it's funny cause he's

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laying back in bed, right?

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So someone had to actually go up and down on the pillow on the blanket cause he's got

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the blanket covering and just stroking it up and he's like, Oh, Oh yeah.

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Hell yeah.

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All right, so on episode four, we have two of his, cause they were that good.

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I didn't, I didn't know which one to pick.

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I guess the second one's better, but the first one's kind of unexpected.

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So it's called scapeful, the skip.

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And it's basically Sam just fucking eats it after trying to do this little trick on a

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skateboard and like he fucking just, he just, he's screaming, he's crying.

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He's mad.

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These two teenagers run up to him and see if he's okay, right?

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They don't say anything to him.

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And then he just started saying all this stuff that I'm done with this shit.

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I can't stand this fuck, fuck skateboarding, fuck all that.

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And he throws his skateboard out in the fucking parking lot and he fucking goes to his car

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and his fucking wife and kid are in the car waiting for him.

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And he's a grown ass man, skateboarding with a bunch of teenagers.

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He's like, I can't stand this shit anymore.

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And he fucking drives off.

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He's still cussing and swearing and the teens look at each other.

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You think he'll be back?

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He'll be back.

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They can't feel like they can't get rid of him apparently.

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He'll be back.

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He's going to come back tomorrow.

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Try again.

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The next one is his better skit.

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It's called The Most Loveliest Bride.

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He dresses up as a woman and his husband, Trevor, is like, they dressed up more now.

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He's got a gray wig, a gray mustache.

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So they dress up more like a different character than they used to.

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They used to be like an implied different character, like a slight mustache maybe.

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And Trevor's mad.

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He's driving the car.

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Fucking Sam's in the trap adj.

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He's going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Just excited to tell, right?

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Because they're going to go see The Most Loveliest Bride.

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This movie that came out.

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And she's having the ball and he's fucking upset because I guess his wife's unbearable.

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It sounds like it just by listening to her just go, yeah, all the time.

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They have a car accident and fucking Sam wakes up from being knocked out because she got

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thrown from the car and the car is all fucked up.

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And she's like, I gotta go see The Most Loveliest Bride.

242
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:48,240
She starts dragging herself to look for her husband and only finds his head.

243
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,240
He's like, no.

244
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,680
And he throws the head away.

245
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,680
Like, I gotta go see The Most Loveliest Bride.

246
00:11:53,680 --> 00:12:00,320
And Zach comes in as a paramedic and tries to stop her from moving around, trying to

247
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,240
hurt herself even more.

248
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,000
And Timmy has to come in and help him subdue her.

249
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,280
He's a cop or dressed as a cop.

250
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,440
And they sedate her.

251
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,680
And she just keeps going, I gotta go see The Most Loveliest Bride.

252
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,120
It fucking knocks her out, you think.

253
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:23,560
And then when Timmy and Zach untense themselves, she fucking springs up and with her mouth

254
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,600
rips out a piece of Zach's neck.

255
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:31,640
She's like, somehow grabs Timmy's gun, gets up and she's like, nobody move.

256
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,440
I'm gonna go see The Most Loveliest Bride.

257
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,440
And no one's stopping me.

258
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,120
And she just fucking runs off into the fucking darkness.

259
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,160
And then it cuts to her in the theater watching The Most Loveliest Bride.

260
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,800
She is fucking cut up.

261
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,800
She's got blood everywhere.

262
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,120
She's eating popcorn.

263
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,160
And she's like, oh, she's laughing at The Most Loveliest Bride.

264
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,200
She is The Most Loveliest Bride.

265
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,720
It's fucking randomly absurd.

266
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,920
Her husband's dead, bear in mind, not like 30 minutes ago.

267
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,880
And she's over here watching a movie while The Most Loveliest Bride.

268
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,640
That movie had to have been good.

269
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,680
Yeah, it's The Most Loveliest Bride.

270
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,680
Most Loveliest Bride.

271
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,320
I love the fucking title to The Most Loveliest Bride.

272
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,760
Dramatically horrible.

273
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,520
Yes, but it's adorable.

274
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,640
Number five, again, we got Sam.

275
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:23,760
Sam is working now, episode five, he's working as a dominatrix.

276
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,560
So he's a fugitive.

277
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:29,840
And Trevor's her trainer.

278
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,440
And Zach is the subject, I guess.

279
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,520
And he's tied up in one of those X type, you know, those X bars?

280
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,200
Yeah, they tie one hand and one hand together and the legs on the other end.

281
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,880
He's just hanging there.

282
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:48,800
And he comes in, Sam and Trevor come in, and Trevor's trying to explain how you do things

283
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,800
in the dungeon.

284
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:56,920
And fucking Sam just goes up to Zach and fucking socks him in the face as hard as he can,

285
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,920
hits him so hard he forgets his safe word.

286
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,240
I don't remember my safe word.

287
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,920
You punched me so hard I forgot my safe word.

288
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:10,080
And he starts fucking screaming, help, help me, I don't know mine, because now he wants

289
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,920
to, but he doesn't remember his safe word, so they're not going to stop.

290
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,240
So Trevor's like, you can't, you have to like, you can't just hit him.

291
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,720
And you got to like surprise him or, you know, do all this stuff.

292
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,720
It's got to be pain and pleasure.

293
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,720
So he goes back up and punches him again.

294
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,720
He's surprised.

295
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,720
He's like, ahhh.

296
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:29,040
Fucking Zach cut his soul in so well.

297
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,040
He's like, oh my God.

298
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,240
So then he's like, no, you got to like, you know, first you slap them and then you tick

299
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,920
their, tickle their nipples, something fun.

300
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:41,960
Oh, and then Sam, they play, they made Sam look like a, Sam look like a, he's like, oh

301
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,960
good.

302
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,360
Goes back up and fucking socks him for the third time and then kisses him on the cheek

303
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,360
and he's like, ahhh.

304
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:55,600
Just, just, the funniest thing about the skit is he just walks up and fucking punches him

305
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,360
in the face and Zach's like, I'm done, I'm done.

306
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,200
You can just fucking cut me down.

307
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,960
It was like, that was the, imagine if that didn't happen with the dominated tricks people

308
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,960
where they just go up and just smack them.

309
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,960
I'm done.

310
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,440
Pepper corn and they just cut me down.

311
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,440
That's my save word, peppercorn.

312
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,440
Pepper corn.

313
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,440
Cut me down.

314
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:20,600
There's a bonus one to episode five with just Trevor by himself.

315
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:25,080
He's a dad, he's mowing the lawn and he runs over something with his lawnmower, like bad,

316
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:30,120
like the fucking, you know, with the lawnmower, like he just goes.

317
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,120
He's like, oh shit.

318
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,120
He pulled, he fucking licks it.

319
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,120
Let's go to the little bar.

320
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,640
The lawnmower turns off and he fucking pulls it out of the way.

321
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:41,040
We never see, cause we're only looking at it from the POV of the lawnmower.

322
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,500
So we're looking up at Trevor.

323
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,480
So we never see what he sees when he pulls it up.

324
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,400
He's like, oh shit.

325
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:51,840
So then he goes to his son like, hey son, you might get the dog and come down to dinner.

326
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,800
Your mom's calling us for dinner.

327
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,240
So go find the dog.

328
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,720
And the kid goes and finds the dog and he finds the fucking dog hanging from a noose

329
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,640
with a no saying that he killed himself.

330
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:07,840
Cause Trevor had ran over the dog and made it look like a suicide.

331
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,920
He's like, what the fuck son?

332
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:09,920
I told you you gotta feed the dog.

333
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,920
He killed himself.

334
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:11,920
Are you happy with yourself?

335
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,760
He just fucking gas lit his son.

336
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,120
Then he just walked away.

337
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,800
That's fucked up.

338
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,200
It is fucked up.

339
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,800
It's fucked up and it's funny.

340
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,800
Yep.

341
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,360
So that is it for one through five of season three.

342
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,520
We'll do season three, five or six to 10 and next week.

343
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,320
Hope you enjoy the way it's going to know.

344
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,320
I know I do.

345
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,320
That's all I have.

346
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,960
All right.

347
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:42,480
Well, apparently you've already seen this book before, but we got a couple of things

348
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,480
from it.

349
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,840
It's called, I memorized it.

350
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,640
The complete worst case scenario, survival handbook dating and sex.

351
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,480
Wait, let me see if I remember this.

352
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:58,840
Is there one where like if you feel so bad from flatulence and you bend over in the bathroom

353
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,400
and you just fucking blow it out.

354
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:06,240
It tried to give you like normal stuff like, oh, eat some peppermint.

355
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,520
But then like he just said, if you got no choice, just go to the bathroom, get on all

356
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,440
fours and stick your ass up and just blow your cheeks out.

357
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,440
It's kind of like that.

358
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,640
I don't know if that exact one's in here, but there are some crazy ass ones in here.

359
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:24,320
It was by a book by David, uh, Morgan itched, uh, Joshua Piven and Ben H. Winters.

360
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,200
It's not like a fucking fantasy writers name.

361
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,200
My name is Ben H. Winters.

362
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,560
I wrote the, I wonder what wrote the everlasting series.

363
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,560
I chose a couple of different little categories here.

364
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,840
Like one of them is, um, the most inappropriate music for sex.

365
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,560
These are songs that you do.

366
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,760
These are songs you don't play.

367
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:44,760
Is it one of them?

368
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,000
I don't know.

369
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,520
The clown musical.

370
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:57,760
No, the first one is a puff.

371
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,360
The magic dragon.

372
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,960
You don't want to play that.

373
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,480
You want to play a Scooby Doo.

374
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,480
Where are you?

375
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,480
Why not?

376
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,160
The super Mario brothers theme.

377
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:18,120
The Imperial March, the Star Wars one.

378
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,120
Yeah.

379
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:23,080
Imagine trying to fuck.

380
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,640
It's so horrible.

381
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,640
I would be the weird nerd be like, uh, baby, I took you out to dinner.

382
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,920
I was Anakin taking you to bed.

383
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:32,920
I'm Darth Vader.

384
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:38,440
She fucking leaves that night.

385
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,360
Fuck this.

386
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,360
No word spoken.

387
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,760
I just see her in the car, peel out of the parking lot.

388
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,480
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

389
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,720
You don't want to play that.

390
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,520
You don't want to play the Star Spangled Banner.

391
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,520
That might not be great.

392
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,520
You might be patriotic.

393
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,520
How dare they?

394
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:56,520
Assume.

395
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,520
You don't want to play.

396
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,520
Oh, sad.

397
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:04,480
We both get up from a butt ass and they get their hands over our hearts.

398
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,280
That shit would be funny though.

399
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,240
That would be hilarious.

400
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,680
You want to play Old McDonald had a farm.

401
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,160
What if we were banging on a farm?

402
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

403
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,160
I guess so.

404
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,160
Who let the dog?

405
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,160
That would be a fun song.

406
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,160
Who let the dog?

407
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:22,160
But what if she's like a play?

408
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:27,920
What if, you know that one song like you and me, baby ain't nothing but mammals.

409
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:28,920
That song.

410
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:34,480
Let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel.

411
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,480
Getting horny now.

412
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:39,680
You don't want to play.

413
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:44,600
It's a small world after all.

414
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,600
That would suck.

415
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,600
Achey breaky heart.

416
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:49,600
Don't tell you.

417
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,600
Isn't that Billy Ray Cyrus?

418
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,120
Yeah, the Miley Cyrus is the hat.

419
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,000
My angel brain.

420
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,760
You don't want to play All By Myself?

421
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,480
You do want to play that when you're masturbating.

422
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,480
Don't wanna be.

423
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,520
You remember that Mummy movie I told you about?

424
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,520
Yeah.

425
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,520
The song is in there.

426
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,520
Oh, god.

427
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,520
I think it is.

428
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,520
By the way, it's not on Disney Plus.

429
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,520
Oh, no?

430
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,400
You can only get it on DVD or VHS.

431
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,400
Of course.

432
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,520
That's the only movie they've purged from their fucking files apparently.

433
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,800
I don't know why.

434
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,360
You can see everything else.

435
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,360
Just not that one.

436
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360
I don't remember.

437
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,280
I wonder if I even looked it up to see where you could see it.

438
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,280
That's the reboot.

439
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,280
The 2023 remake.

440
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:32,000
Okay, that makes more sense then.

441
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
You don't want to play The Final Countdown?

442
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,040
It's like right before.

443
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,040
The Final Countdown.

444
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,040
You gotta let her know when it's time.

445
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,120
You don't want to play You're Beautiful by James Blunt?

446
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,120
No.

447
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:51,040
You don't want to play The Most Annoying Song Ever?

448
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,800
You don't want to play the song Bad Day?

449
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:53,800
Mad Day?

450
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,720
You had a bad day.

451
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:04,920
You don't want to play Tie the Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Old Tree by Tony Orlando?

452
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,800
Never heard of that.

453
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,000
You don't want to play Puttin' on the Reds?

454
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,880
Oh, Puttin' on the Reds.

455
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,880
By Taco?

456
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:18,120
You also don't want to play Love Will Keep Us Together?

457
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:20,520
That would be kind of awkward.

458
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,280
You don't want to play Together Forever?

459
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,280
Together Forever.

460
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,280
By Rick Astley?

461
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,240
And you don't want to play You're Having My Baby by Paul Anka?

462
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,400
I don't know, some girls might be into that.

463
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,560
Some freaks.

464
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,560
The breeding ones.

465
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,680
The ones that are into breeding.

466
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:40,680
Yeah.

467
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,680
Yeah.

468
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:48,440
Alright, next one we have from this book is How to Survive the Walk of Shame?

469
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,920
I don't even know what that is.

470
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:58,000
So the first thing, locate all of your belongings before vacating the premises.

471
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,100
Two, replace missing clothing.

472
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:06,440
So if you are lacking pants, put your legs through the sleeves of your shirt and tape

473
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,920
or staple the neck.

474
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,600
How is that surviving the walk?

475
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,520
That's completely emphasizing the walk of shame.

476
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,040
That man's wearing fucking pants.

477
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,800
He's wearing fucking shirt pants.

478
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,000
If you are missing your shirt, use your socks as a bikini top.

479
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,480
This is for women.

480
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,960
Well, it's for I guess either, but...

481
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:24,960
I don't have a bikini top.

482
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,240
Why would I need to cover my titties up?

483
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,240
That would be funny though.

484
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:34,600
Wouldn't you feel embarrassed to get it?

485
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,600
Held in place with shoelaces from your running shoes.

486
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,240
One lace goes through the top of each sock and is knotted at each end.

487
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,660
That lace will go around your neck.

488
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:46,000
The other laces go through the heel of each sock, is knotted at the end and becomes the

489
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,680
strap that goes behind your back.

490
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,680
Adjust for proper fit.

491
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,080
Three, dumb down your evening garments.

492
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,440
So remove any showy clothing or jewelry and wash your face to remove any trace of heavy

493
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:58,440
makeup.

494
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,760
Wear a hat, sunglasses, and drab clothing if you have the option.

495
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,680
Avoid crowds.

496
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,000
Leave home very early in the morning when there are fewer people on the street.

497
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,760
If you wake up late, do not cross campus during peak class times.

498
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,960
It's a heist of college day.

499
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:13,960
Yep.

500
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,120
Walk briskly.

501
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,120
Don't take your time.

502
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,400
I thought I'd fuck out of Dodge.

503
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,400
Match the gait of other passerbys but do not run.

504
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,080
The faster you walk, the less likely you'll be noticed.

505
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,840
Walking fast also cuts down on the amount of time and thus the number of people to whom

506
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,240
you will be exposed.

507
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,480
Be aware though.

508
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,880
Arrange in advance a single bird call to get your roommate's attention whenever you arrive

509
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,360
after hours with no keys.

510
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,560
And be aware to prepare and practice excuses and explanations for parents, boyfriend, and

511
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,160
others you may encounter.

512
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,000
Wow, so just added the cheating element to it.

513
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,640
Yeah, we just added the cheating element to it, yes.

514
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,080
Next one we have from this book is how to disguise a fart during sex.

515
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,960
Oh, it's during sex.

516
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,960
Yeah.

517
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,680
So we have, first thing, make a loud exclamation.

518
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,320
Yeah.

519
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:08,520
At the moment you pass gas, emit a vigorous moan, scream, or exclamation of pleasure.

520
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:14,360
I don't know what type of end this is for but my bowels would fucking erupt to such

521
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,880
a fucking decimal that it would take nothing.

522
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,000
That would be the only noise you'd hear from three blocks away.

523
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,600
The examples they give you is wow, whoa, or bam.

524
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,160
It's like who's saying bam in the nest?

525
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,160
Bam, bitch.

526
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,160
Bam.

527
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,160
I'm God Pierce.

528
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,160
Bam.

529
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:34,520
And it says continue moaning or screaming until the fart has concluded.

530
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,960
Do not scream or moan so loudly that it sounds like you're reaching orgasm.

531
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,640
Wait, because you're sweating, right?

532
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,640
So it's going to be all fucking.

533
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,440
Yeah, a soppy one.

534
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:52,920
Like all wet.

535
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,760
Okay you can also cover the noise with loud physical action.

536
00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,600
So pound on a head, border violence, or squeak the bed springs when you're over white-ubley

537
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,520
and knock a lamp or face on the bedside table.

538
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,160
Or just pick up a lamp and throw it.

539
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,120
It's all fucking good.

540
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,160
It fucking farts right?

541
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,480
Did you feel it hits the fucking wall?

542
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,480
You know you're not going to time it right though.

543
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,240
You're going to be fucking shitting and farting at the same time.

544
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,560
Be like that one guy that drops a book and the book hits the ground and then he farts

545
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,560
right after.

546
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,560
Yeah.

547
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:28,280
You can also cover the noise with less objectionable bodily functions such as a cough, clear throat,

548
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,800
or sneeze at the moment of your farting.

549
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:43,200
You do like a dainty cough.

550
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:48,760
Mask the smell with sexually aggressive, sexually suggestive smells.

551
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:53,200
So immediately after passing gas before the smell becomes pervasive, jump up and light

552
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,120
scented candles.

553
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,680
That won't come off as weird.

554
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:03,220
Or introduce a smelling foodstuff such as melted chocolate, scented liqueur, or camp

555
00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:04,220
array cheese.

556
00:26:04,220 --> 00:26:06,800
This guy assumes that everything is at the ready.

557
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:07,800
Yes.

558
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,400
When you're going to fart, you're going to fart now.

559
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,600
Or you can pretend it was the dog.

560
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,520
If your dog came out of the room, say he must have run away after farting.

561
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,320
Must have fucking blown cheeks to the left.

562
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,760
That nasty motherfucker.

563
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,960
Or you can distract from the fart with something more outlandish.

564
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,960
As you feel the need to fart a protein, start making a loud farting noise in your mouth.

565
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,520
Keep making the noise until after you actually fart.

566
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,880
If questioned about the noise, whether in the moment or after sex, explain that you

567
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,160
have a thing for motorboats.

568
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:40,560
So you're saying motorboat instead of...

569
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,960
And then the last thing, laugh and keep going.

570
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:43,960
Just...

571
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,960
Ah!

572
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:45,960
I shit myself.

573
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,960
We don't have time to keep bugging and knocking it out.

574
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:52,960
And then you end up with a bed like that one dude where the shit stains all over it.

575
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:53,960
Lord.

576
00:26:53,960 --> 00:27:01,560
It reminds me, talking about all this bodily stuff, they put on TikTok the golden boy.

577
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,520
You remember I told you that weird character?

578
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:06,520
Golden boy?

579
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,520
The anime?

580
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:08,520
Oh!

581
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,960
The poorly sexualized man.

582
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:10,960
Yeah, yeah.

583
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,880
They're doing reactions to it.

584
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,120
And they showed that scene I told you about where I'll show you.

585
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:26,800
You have to just see it.

586
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:27,800
Like he fucking legit...

587
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:28,800
He's like...

588
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:35,000
And she just repeats the fucking stomping.

589
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,880
Because she was stomping him out, right?

590
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,000
She stopped to spit on him and he's like...

591
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,120
And then she goes back to stomping him out.

592
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:43,960
Didn't change at all?

593
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,560
No, like he took no damage from her kicks to his head.

594
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,080
She almost looks like that one character, Mai Valentine, from Yu-Gi-Oh!

595
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,800
Oh yeah.

596
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,800
She kind of looks like that.

597
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:55,800
That's where they got the inspiration.

598
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:56,800
What boy?

599
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,520
I think golden boy came first.

600
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,640
And what, that's Joey?

601
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,640
Joey Miller?

602
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,640
I don't know.

603
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:03,640
Hello?

604
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,640
Fuck him.

605
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,640
Free.

606
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,240
He's so...

607
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,960
That man took an ass with him, right?

608
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:10,960
Yeah.

609
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,080
And then she spit at him to show her level of disgust toward him.

610
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,240
And he fucking cleanly in his fucking mouth.

611
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,240
Yes.

612
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,240
He's like...

613
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,000
As if nothing had happened.

614
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,840
And then she went back to kicking his ass.

615
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:22,840
Oh.

616
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,160
That is the thirstiest man.

617
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,320
And it is such a fucking...

618
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,920
It is one of those...

619
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,760
I forgot about it because I saw all those episodes.

620
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,600
I rented them at Blockbuster.

621
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,400
I didn't know I was watching fucking Peak.

622
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,400
Yeah.

623
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,880
Until now, that everyone references the fucking golden boy stuff.

624
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,600
Like, oh yeah, I saw all those fucking DVDs.

625
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:42,600
Such a...

626
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,600
Maybe that's why I'm such a...

627
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,600
You're a freak.

628
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,280
I learned up to golden boy.

629
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,280
He's my Gylku.

630
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,280
Gylku was never the hero.

631
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,320
He was always the villain.

632
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:57,320
And Freeza was the racist.

633
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,320
Damn, damn, Michael.

634
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,200
All right.

635
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,440
Next thing we got from the book is anti-aphrodisiacs.

636
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:07,800
Anti-aphrodisiacs.

637
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,280
Black licorice.

638
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,280
Is it?

639
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:11,840
Black licorice tastes nasty for some reason.

640
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:12,840
It contains...

641
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:18,960
Certain types of black licorice contain glycokizirin, which reduces testosterone levels.

642
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:19,960
No wonder I felt so...

643
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,920
I got such fucking round titties.

644
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:22,920
Gin and tonic.

645
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,720
Gin and tonic, really?

646
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:31,560
Alcohol beverages both diminish the sex drive and a key ingredient in the tonic is quinine.

647
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,120
So they both reduce that.

648
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,120
Salt.

649
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,280
Causes high blood pressure, which can result in erectile dysfunction.

650
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,400
Soy.

651
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:46,680
Promotes estrogen increases in a subsequent testosterone induction.

652
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,880
That's why there's that meme about soy boys.

653
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,880
Oh, that's why.

654
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:51,880
Soy.

655
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:52,880
Sugar.

656
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,760
Testosterone levels can be reduced by as much as 25% on blood sugar spikes.

657
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,160
Damn, I can't have nothing.

658
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,160
Too much food.

659
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,160
Oh, get down.

660
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,040
You're gonna break.

661
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:08,480
Overindulging causes blood sugar levels to go out of balance and devote blood to the

662
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:09,480
stomach.

663
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:10,480
I just completely...

664
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:11,480
I stop eating, right?

665
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:17,240
Just to get a land I keep passing out halfway through the fucking interactions.

666
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,520
Then we have strange animal mating habits.

667
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,520
Okay.

668
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:21,520
Bonobo apes.

669
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,520
They're humans.

670
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,080
I know, they're just strange in general.

671
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,720
Just everything that we do.

672
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,720
Bonobo apes.

673
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,400
They use sex or sexual behavior to resolve all disputes rather than fighting.

674
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,960
They're lovers, not fighters.

675
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,720
With each other?

676
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:35,720
What?

677
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:36,720
Yeah.

678
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:37,720
Flatworms.

679
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:42,360
Flatworms are hemaphrodites in hand.

680
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,920
They fence each other with their penises the loser has impregnated.

681
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:47,920
Chlorose.

682
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:48,920
Porcupines.

683
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,280
The male urinates on the female.

684
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,120
If she wants to mate, she will expose her quill-free underside.

685
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,000
If not, she will shake off the urine.

686
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,960
So you know, pee diddy and...

687
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:04,920
Why did diddy do it?

688
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:05,920
McCall or...

689
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,920
I guess that's McCall's?

690
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:08,920
Let me see.

691
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:09,920
M-A-C-A-Q-U-E-S.

692
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:10,920
Q-U?

693
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,920
I think that's McCall's.

694
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:14,920
McCall's?

695
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:15,920
McCall?

696
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:16,920
Or Mechacall's?

697
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:22,360
Well, I think that is McCall's.

698
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,520
We'll pay with fruit to get a look at the female McCall's hindquarters.

699
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:27,520
Oh, yeah, the McCall.

700
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,520
Yeah, it's a monkey.

701
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:29,520
McCall?

702
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,520
Seahairs.

703
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:37,240
Also from Aphrodite's, this sleeve slugs mate in a chain forming a sex circle.

704
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,680
So a fucking circle-stark?

705
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:42,720
Yes, or like the boys.

706
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,000
You know, where it's just the whole chain of dudes.

707
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000
Yeah.

708
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000
And they got pink eye.

709
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:51,920
That's more masturbation, really, because it's the same guy.

710
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:58,800
Alright, next thing we have from the book is how to bring up your fetish or kink.

711
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,440
The fuck did I do?

712
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,120
I just rang up a whole bell.

713
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,880
I think I woke up everything in me.

714
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,880
Number one, do your research.

715
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,840
Don, bro.

716
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,880
The X-Video is...

717
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,400
I'm a top editor.

718
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,160
So know as much as possible about the fetish, including safety issues, equipment requirements,

719
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,480
the cost before you bring it up to your partner.

720
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,440
What do this cost me?

721
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,840
You can articulately answer any questions he or she may have.

722
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,960
Two, choose a good time.

723
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,040
Wait until your partner is in a good, relaxed mood, perhaps after sex.

724
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:42,880
Do not bring it up right before sex, and definitely do not bring it up in the middle of sex.

725
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:49,560
I was watching the show Two Broke Girls, and this girl had fantasized about her next door

726
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:50,560
door for fucking seasons.

727
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:57,840
I don't know if it was season one or season two or three, but eventually they hooked up,

728
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,400
and he was on top of her.

729
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,400
They were doing all this stuff, right?

730
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,800
She was like, I guess it's my turn.

731
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,760
What she meant was that it's time for her to be on top of the cowgirl, right?

732
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,760
He was like, oh, your turn?

733
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:09,760
And he was like, okay.

734
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:15,320
And he goes to his fucking drawer and pulls out this fucking strap on it, throws it at

735
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,320
her.

736
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:21,040
He goes, let's get to work, and she's like fucking so caught off guard.

737
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,840
He's like, hey, hey.

738
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,680
I'm like, dang, bro.

739
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,400
I can see what they mean by that because he caught her completely off guard.

740
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,960
Yeah, don't bring it up, Daring.

741
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:35,840
Number three, test the waters.

742
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:43,080
So say, oh, I had the craziest thought, or I had the wildest dream about you, and explain

743
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:51,760
that she was participating with you in a surprising or unusual ex-sexual act.

744
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:52,760
Four, try a joke.

745
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:53,760
Wouldn't it be funny?

746
00:33:53,760 --> 00:34:00,280
But the kink and the fetish and the context of wouldn't it be hilarious if?

747
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:04,320
Or you know what would be so funny?

748
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,440
I wonder how I can't come up with something so fucking outlamish.

749
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,640
I hear mine's a little wheeling now though.

750
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:16,040
Like, I'd be like, I'd be like, just sit, like, be joking like, hey, you know how funny

751
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,280
a clown would be naked?

752
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,840
People have those fetishes though.

753
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:21,840
Have every fetish.

754
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:22,840
That's true.

755
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,360
Number five, introduce by example.

756
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,100
Do come out like a butt naked clown?

757
00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:31,400
So watch for opportunities to segue into the conversation, such as the kink being mentioned

758
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:38,520
in a TV program, film, or actively seek out how such a show or movie and see how he or

759
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,520
she reacts.

760
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,760
Be watching nothing but Batman.

761
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,240
What do you think about Harley Quinn?

762
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:47,360
Six, be honest.

763
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:52,880
Now that the subject has been open, tell him or her honestly and specifically what it is

764
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:58,280
you want to do and what his or her role will be.

765
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,480
So you're a circus performer.

766
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,440
And on that line, you just can't tame.

767
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:09,160
Seven, make it a two way street.

768
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,720
Find your partner to tell you if they have anything unusual or out of the mainstream

769
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:14,240
that he or she wants to try.

770
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,520
Do not freak out though when they tell you theirs.

771
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,520
What was that one?

772
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,520
What was that group?

773
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,320
Those two guys that were land tamers in?

774
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,760
Oh yeah, the gay guys.

775
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,200
One of them got like attacked.

776
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,200
Malled.

777
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,480
And then like all these fucking stories came out.

778
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:33,400
I'm like, that was like a flood gate of like all this horrible stuff that was going on

779
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,400
behind closed doors.

780
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,520
I'm like, what is happening?

781
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,520
It was so weird because like one of them got mauled, right?

782
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:44,800
And just all this like drug abuse stories, abuse stories, physical abuse, emotional abuse,

783
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,520
bad like mistreatment of animals.

784
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:47,520
All this stories came out.

785
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,520
I'm like, what the hell?

786
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:49,520
Where the hell did this come from?

787
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:50,520
What the fuck happened?

788
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:55,920
They almost had like the lion on Oprah Winfrey telling his fucking story.

789
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:56,920
He was on Maury.

790
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,800
Yeah, he's like, they treated me like shit.

791
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:03,320
I finally snapped.

792
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:09,040
And last of these, the number eight for this is have a sense of humor.

793
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,920
You know, it'd be funny as you a clown.

794
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:16,120
On the first few attempts at acting out your fetish or kink, allow yourself and your partner

795
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,080
to have some embarrassment or awkwardness about the new activity.

796
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,420
I like the hunky nose.

797
00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:27,520
And what goes along with that is here are, here's a list of unusual sexual fetishes.

798
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:28,520
Oh God.

799
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,360
What did you be like super vanilla to me?

800
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,360
First one.

801
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,200
Uh, I got, uh, a goal motor and full.

802
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:43,160
Uh, God, I fucking even fucking read, uh, agile model for affiliate sexual obsession

803
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,160
with statues or mannequins.

804
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:52,800
No, uh, uh, chill on off of a channel of philia obsession with turtles.

805
00:36:52,800 --> 00:37:00,400
Oh, the fuck teenage mutant ninja turtles, call her affiliate.

806
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,560
That's the one you were just talking about clowns.

807
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,560
Yep.

808
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:04,560
Really?

809
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,920
I'll just make it a joke about you because they call her affiliate ever since fucking

810
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,120
Harley Quinn came into the picture.

811
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,680
Everyone's been like, well, you know, it's not that bad.

812
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:14,280
That's a sexual obsession with the way it's like, they, they feel like it's accepted now

813
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:15,280
by the mainstream.

814
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:16,280
I know.

815
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,280
So now they can come out.

816
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:18,280
Yeah.

817
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,280
Yeah.

818
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280
Yeah.

819
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,080
Uh, we have a Morty in one of the episodes of Rick and Morty, I shit you not.

820
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:28,560
One of the Mortys was like, I wish a incest to porn was more mainstream or some weird shitty

821
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,560
say some fucking weird shit.

822
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,960
I'm like, what the fuck that Morty?

823
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,640
And it was an offhand fucking comment.

824
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,760
And like, they just completely breezed by it and they never talked about it.

825
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,560
I'm like, Morty, what the fuck are you talking about?

826
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,520
I mean, look how common it is though.

827
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:43,520
Like, yeah.

828
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,240
Imagine if they're going to stop, they're going to drop the step.

829
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:48,240
Yeah.

830
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,840
It's just going to be just sister or brother.

831
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:51,840
Basically.

832
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:52,840
Yeah.

833
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:53,840
We have dendrophilia.

834
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,840
Teeth?

835
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,840
Uh, sexual obsession with trees.

836
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,840
Yeah.

837
00:37:58,840 --> 00:37:59,840
Something like tree-ophilia.

838
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:00,840
Dracophilia.

839
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:01,840
It's an obsession with Drake.

840
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:02,840
Dragon.

841
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,840
Oh, I thought it was Drake the rapper.

842
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,840
I know Drake.

843
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,840
We already seen what came out with all that.

844
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,840
He's got an obsession with minors.

845
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,840
Especially Milly Bobby Brown apparently.

846
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:18,840
Yeah.

847
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:19,840
Uh, apructophilia.

848
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,840
I guess not anymore because he's too old now.

849
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,840
Here's one for you.

850
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:24,840
Apructophilia.

851
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:25,840
What?

852
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,840
Sexual obsession with flatulence.

853
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:32,840
I don't find that sexually obs...

854
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,840
Uh, extraophilia.

855
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,840
Sexual obsession with aliens.

856
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:38,840
Hmm.

857
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:39,840
I do like Mass Effect.

858
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,840
The video game.

859
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,840
Who wouldn't find sexual attraction toward flatulence?

860
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,840
Think of the smell.

861
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,840
I mean, we already covered the whole thing of you trying to hide it.

862
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,840
But this part, if somebody has apructophilia, you ain't even got to worry.

863
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:54,840
Right, man.

864
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,840
It's a rip.

865
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:56,840
Exactly.

866
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:57,840
Like the fucking Beyblade.

867
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:58,840
Let her rip.

868
00:38:58,840 --> 00:38:59,840
Ha.

869
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:00,840
Ha.

870
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,840
Meeple.

871
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,840
Uh, we have, uh, phonoophilia.

872
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,840
Sexual obsession with watching animals mate.

873
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,840
I thought you said...

874
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,840
I thought you said tana...

875
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,840
I thought you said tannos.

876
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:17,840
Uh, when trying to perfectly balance a universe.

877
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,840
Oh, here's one for you.

878
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,840
Uh, formicophilia.

879
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,840
Sexual obsession with insects crawling around your genitalia.

880
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:25,840
Why would...

881
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,840
Those people that they're into, why would I be into bugs?

882
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:29,840
You don't want to be into bugs.

883
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:30,840
Oh, here you go.

884
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:31,840
Hobophilia.

885
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:32,840
Hobophilia?

886
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:33,840
Fucking hobos?

887
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:34,840
Yes.

888
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:35,840
That is what it is.

889
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:36,840
Hardly.

890
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,840
What do you have around everywhere you go?

891
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,840
It doesn't mean I want to have a sex with them.

892
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,840
Uh, let's see here.

893
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,840
Uh...

894
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,840
Cacorhophilia.

895
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:51,840
It says...

896
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:52,840
It says something, right?

897
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,840
And it makes no fucking sense when you say what it is.

898
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:55,840
I know.

899
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,840
Sexual obsession with failure.

900
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:58,840
It's all masochist.

901
00:39:58,840 --> 00:39:59,840
Yes.

902
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,840
Uh, mecanophilia.

903
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,840
Mecanophilia.

904
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,840
Sexual obsession with cars and other machines.

905
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,840
See, that one sounds like it would be, you know, mecanophilia.

906
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,840
Yeah.

907
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:12,840
It's, you know, Mac's machine.

908
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,840
Plushophilia.

909
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:20,840
Plushophilia is sexual obsession with stuffed animals and people in plush costumes.

910
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,840
Hmm.

911
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,840
So, if you're into, uh, like the furry costumes.

912
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:27,840
Tunaphilia.

913
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,840
Are you into tuna?

914
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,840
Uh, sexual obsession with cartoons.

915
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:33,840
Oh, tune.

916
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:34,840
Tune.

917
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:35,840
Hentai?

918
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:36,840
Basically hentai.

919
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,840
Yeah, I guess I basically wished I were that.

920
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,840
Uh, side-row dramophilia.

921
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:43,840
What is that?

922
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,840
Sexual obsession with trains.

923
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,840
You know, people like Thomas.

924
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,840
Fuck the train.

925
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,840
Maybe like if you wanted to fuck on a train it would make sense.

926
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,840
But this is with trains itself.

927
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,840
Right.

928
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:58,840
Spectrophilia.

929
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,840
Sexual obsession with ghosts.

930
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:01,840
You know.

931
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,840
Uh, taffylia.

932
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,840
Sexual obsession with being buried alive.

933
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:07,840
Good lord.

934
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:12,840
How would they even like, it might be like those people that like, like in the movie,

935
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:17,840
like in my head I'm trying to figure out what would lead to this fetish.

936
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,840
Like what would be like the steps that would slowly build, like if you said Tunaphilia,

937
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:23,840
right?

938
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,840
I would imagine as a kid you saw fucking Jessica Rabbit.

939
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:27,840
Yeah, I could see that.

940
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,840
And you're like, you know, just like, you know, develop from there into more different

941
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:32,840
characters.

942
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,840
But like what, one day you were like stuck underneath your blankets, like and you just

943
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,840
started checking off, like I like being so confined.

944
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,840
Like I feel like I'm, I want to feel like I'm being buried alive.

945
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:42,840
I know that would be weird wouldn't it?

946
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:43,840
Like how does it build?

947
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,840
Is that what they made those weighted blankets for?

948
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:46,840
I don't know.

949
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,840
Like I'm just like, I'm trying to like build, how does it slowly build into your fetish?

950
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,840
I don't know.

951
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:51,840
That's weird.

952
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:57,840
Uh, the next one is uh, trypsilagnia.

953
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,840
It is a sexual obsession with having your hair shampooed by somebody else.

954
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,840
I must love hair salons.

955
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,840
Does someone say it's like they're just creaming themselves while they're there?

956
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,840
Apply the lotion again.

957
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,840
Uh, let's see here.

958
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:18,840
God, that is a long fucking word and I am going to fuck up this word.

959
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:19,840
So don't worry.

960
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:20,840
Uh, ursusagalmatophilia.

961
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,840
You fucking bitch, you don't want to spell out?

962
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,840
Summon a fucking demon.

963
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,840
Puss back down, butt droughter.

964
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:34,840
It's actually, well, I understand like the Ursa part of it because it makes sense, but

965
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,840
it's a sexual obsession with teddy bears.

966
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,840
Why?

967
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,840
No, I'm going to stop asking why.

968
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:46,840
You're going to ask the question and it isn't going to answer it.

969
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,840
And last thing that we'll give you from this book today is called, uh, pick up lines to

970
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,840
avoid or use.

971
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,840
They have to add that in parentheses.

972
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,840
So the first thing is, uh, the first pickup line.

973
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,840
The human body is 90% water and I'm real thirsty.

974
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:07,840
So is this only 70% or like between 50 and 65, I believe.

975
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,840
Well, nobody said you were smart if you're using these.

976
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,840
You know, I can't help myself.

977
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,840
These people are saying you just need that extra 10% because you're thirsty.

978
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:19,840
Although for you, you know, you're really thirsty.

979
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,840
The human body is made up of 30%.

980
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,840
Thirsty is mad.

981
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:29,840
Uh, next one is, can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

982
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,840
Well, that won't get your ass beat.

983
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:38,840
The next one is, uh, with a mane like that, you must be a Leo.

984
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:39,840
It's not even a good one.

985
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,840
Which of these, none of these is so far hard.

986
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,840
But next one is, uh, do you have a mirror in your pants?

987
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,840
Because I can see myself in them.

988
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,840
I've heard of that one before.

989
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,840
Next one is, are your legs tired?

990
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,840
Because you've been running through my dreams all night.

991
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,840
I had a guy hit on me at work once.

992
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:55,840
Oh God.

993
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,840
Those glasses really fit your face.

994
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,840
I'm like, okay, thank you.

995
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,840
Thank you, sir.

996
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,840
Put a puff of your stuff on the ground.

997
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:05,840
Probably.

998
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:06,840
He's like, oh, I do.

999
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,840
I'm like over here trying to look sexy.

1000
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,840
I try to pull him down to my nose.

1001
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:11,840
Do that.

1002
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:12,840
Do that, man.

1003
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,840
Next one is, is your father a thief?

1004
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,840
He stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes.

1005
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,840
And he starts freaking out like, oh my God, he fucking did.

1006
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:22,840
Oh my God, he did?

1007
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:23,840
He's a fucking mad scientist.

1008
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,840
How did you know?

1009
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,840
Next one is, I really like that outfit.

1010
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,840
I would, it would be at the end of my bed or on the floor of my bed or somewhere.

1011
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,840
It would look good crumpled at the end of my bed.

1012
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,840
Next one is, what do you like for breakfast?

1013
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,840
Oh, good, I have that.

1014
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,840
Next one is, I know they say milk does a body good,

1015
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,840
but damn, how much have you been drinking?

1016
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,840
There's a few complies I can see driving you.

1017
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,840
How much milk you got, you a cow.

1018
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:49,840
He fucking slapped in the face.

1019
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,840
Next one is, so are you legal?

1020
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:53,840
Yeah, that'll work.

1021
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:54,840
Sure.

1022
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,840
Next one is, I have cable TV.

1023
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,840
Officer, what did I say that was so offensive?

1024
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:03,840
If I told you that you have a lovely body, would you hold it against me?

1025
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,840
I want to try that one, yeah.

1026
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,840
Did the sun just come out or did you smile at me?

1027
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:13,840
Is it hot in here or is it just you?

1028
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,840
Erasmatase.

1029
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,840
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to...

1030
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,840
Believe in love at first sight.

1031
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,840
After she walks away?

1032
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,840
After she walks away.

1033
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,840
After she walks away.

1034
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,840
She just pick up the fucking karaoke.

1035
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:35,840
After she walks away.

1036
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,840
Hey, I lost my phone number.

1037
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,840
Can I have yours?

1038
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,840
This one's...

1039
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,840
Can I borrow your phone so I can call my phone?

1040
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:44,840
Yeah.

1041
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,840
I won't sack you.

1042
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,840
Next one is just stupid.

1043
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,840
If you were a burger McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.

1044
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,840
Good Lord.

1045
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,840
I'd be in contention with McDonald's and I'd be like,

1046
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,840
my fucking double mac.

1047
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,840
They gave me half a mac.

1048
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,840
I'll never forget to this fucking day.

1049
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,840
I hope I become rich and famous enough that I can be on a talk show one night

1050
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,840
and talk about my fucking half a mac story.

1051
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,840
They fucking do me right.

1052
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,840
My fucking double mac.

1053
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,840
You owe me.

1054
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,840
Next one is, hi, my name's whatever it is.

1055
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:17,840
Slim Shady.

1056
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,840
But can you call me tonight?

1057
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,840
Next one is, no wonder the sky is gray today.

1058
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,840
All the blue is in your eyes.

1059
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,840
She let my eyes are brown.

1060
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:32,840
It's like, no wonder the pond looks clear.

1061
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,840
All the brown shit's in your...

1062
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,840
All the mud's in your eye.

1063
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,840
What's your name?

1064
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,840
Or should I just call you mine?

1065
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:44,840
Oh, Lord.

1066
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,840
If I could arrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together.

1067
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,840
I wonder if you, William Shakespeare, write something.

1068
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:51,840
Look at all the...

1069
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:55,840
Look at you with all those curves and me with no brakes.

1070
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,840
I like that one.

1071
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,840
I fuck...

1072
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,840
I guess you're using that one.

1073
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,840
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make a bedrock.

1074
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,840
Oh, God.

1075
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,840
Do you have any raisins? No?

1076
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:11,840
How about a...

1077
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,840
You probably never heard of Fred Flintstone.

1078
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:14,840
Who the fuck's that?

1079
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,840
She's like, who?

1080
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,840
I'm gonna call you a bandaid,

1081
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,840
because I skin my knee whenever I feel for you.

1082
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,840
Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa

1083
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,840
what I want for Christmas?

1084
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:27,840
She's like, Santa's not real.

1085
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,840
He's like, Santa's not real?

1086
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:30,840
He frees out.

1087
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:31,840
My bed is broken.

1088
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,840
Can I sleep in yours?

1089
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,840
So you had that problem?

1090
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:37,840
What?

1091
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:38,840
What, that bed?

1092
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,840
Oh, yeah, my bed from my bed was fucking breaking.

1093
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:41,840
My fucking back.

1094
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:42,840
Can I sleep in yours?

1095
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:44,840
Like fucking Bane.

1096
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:48,840
I'm feeling myself tonight. Can I feel you?

1097
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,840
Or, hi, my name is...

1098
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:51,840
Remember that.

1099
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,840
You'll be screaming at later.

1100
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:54,840
Oh, not that one.

1101
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,840
Is that a ladder in your stockings

1102
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,840
or the stairway to heaven?

1103
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,840
I may not be the best looking guy in here,

1104
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,840
but I'm the only one talking to you.

1105
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:05,840
That's really fucked up.

1106
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,840
You got no other options.

1107
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,840
Oh, I can see this one for you, too.

1108
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,840
I definitely can see you using this one on a bar or something.

1109
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,840
I can put my finger and wipe it on her shirt.

1110
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,840
Let's get you out of those wet clothes.

1111
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:17,840
Are you stupid?

1112
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:18,840
But I can see you using it.

1113
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:19,840
What, the fucking lick of my finger

1114
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,840
and I just put rub it on someone's fucking clothes?

1115
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,840
Get fucking tasered?

1116
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,840
Hey, I got a good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.

1117
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,840
Two minutes after you do it,

1118
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,840
I'm just over there on the ground.

1119
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:42,840
Get a rest after a few seconds.

1120
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,840
I don't know, I just got to keep your hands to yourself.

1121
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,840
Put them in your pocket.

1122
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:54,840
You jerk off that way.

1123
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,840
I thought you were going to go and start singing that song.

1124
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:57,840
Which one?

1125
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,840
Can't keep my hands to my sail.

1126
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,840
I'm trying to fucking see this damn fight on UFC.

1127
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:04,840
Yeah.

1128
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:06,840
But they won't fucking update to see who won.

1129
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:07,840
That's not surprising.

1130
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,840
It's still too early.

1131
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,840
All right, next thing that we got,

1132
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,840
we do not have a comic character spotlight tonight,

1133
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:18,840
but I got a couple of little poll things, right?

1134
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:20,840
So these were posted by Comic Panel

1135
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:25,840
and also by one other channel, I believe.

1136
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:29,840
These were polls put out on a who would win fight, right?

1137
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,840
So we'll go down a couple of these

1138
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,840
and see if we agree or disagree on these.

1139
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:39,840
The first one is Beast versus Gorilla Grodd.

1140
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:40,840
Beast versus Gorilla Grodd.

1141
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:46,840
Who are you taking?

1142
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:47,840
Huh, that's a good point.

1143
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,840
Beast versus Gorilla Grodd.

1144
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,840
I'd probably give it to Gorilla Grodd.

1145
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:53,840
I agree with you.

1146
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,840
Polls also agree with you.

1147
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,840
56% of people said Gorilla Grodd.

1148
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,840
Next one we have is Tarzan versus Craven the Hunter.

1149
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,840
I'd probably Craven the Hunter.

1150
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,840
Yeah, 82% of people agree with you on that one.

1151
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,840
Tarzan surviving against some fucking Master Hunter.

1152
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:12,840
Absolutely not.

1153
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:14,840
Next one is Black Canary and Green Arrow

1154
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,840
versus Black Widow and the Hulk.

1155
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,840
Like, that's a no-brainer.

1156
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,840
You want Hulk?

1157
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:25,840
The Hulk's so low without him.

1158
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:29,840
Just like a fucking joke pose.

1159
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:33,840
Next one is Sentry versus Superboy Prime.

1160
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,840
Personally, I'm probably going with Superboy Prime

1161
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,840
because he fucked up the multiverse.

1162
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,840
And Sentry, I don't think gets as much play.

1163
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,840
I don't really see. I don't know much about him.

1164
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:45,840
Well, he's basically Marvel's Superboy.

1165
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,840
So I'm just going with Superboy Prime.

1166
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,840
79% of people agree with that.

1167
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:51,840
This is a good one though.

1168
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,840
Galactus versus the Anti-Monitor.

1169
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:55,840
Galactus versus the Anti-Monitor.

1170
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,840
Um, still have to tell.

1171
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:58,840
I don't know their real...

1172
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,840
I don't know their limit basically.

1173
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:04,840
Like, I don't know like their full potential.

1174
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,840
Like, I don't know what Galactus can do.

1175
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,840
But I've seen him defeated by regular means.

1176
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,840
Silver Surfer has defeated him a few times.

1177
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,840
Right. I don't know the Anti-Monitor.

1178
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,840
Well, the Anti-Monitor is multiversal.

1179
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,840
Like, remember, he's the one that created

1180
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,840
the entire Crisis on Infinite Earths.

1181
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,840
And the only person that was able to actually

1182
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,840
fight against him was the Spectre.

1183
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:25,840
Maybe just go with Diggle-Galactus.

1184
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:26,840
He's got all his hands.

1185
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,840
I can't catch both these fucking hands.

1186
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,840
72% of people disagree with you on that one.

1187
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,840
72% of people chose the Anti-Monitor.

1188
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,840
Next one is...

1189
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:37,840
This is...

1190
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,840
The next one I would...

1191
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,840
I don't know. To me it seems pretty easy.

1192
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:46,840
Rhino versus Killer Croc.

1193
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,840
Probably a Rhino.

1194
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,840
Yeah. 67% agree. I agree with that too.

1195
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,840
And definitely I do.

1196
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,840
Next one... Black Panther versus Batman.

1197
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,840
Uh, probably wouldn't Batman if it's a Paul.

1198
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:00,840
Yeah. What about what you would choose, though?

1199
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:02,840
Death Battle. Probably Black Panther.

1200
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,840
Thanks, sir.

1201
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,840
No, I don't know if there's prep time or not.

1202
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,840
You know, the trope of prep time.

1203
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:09,840
Give me 77 hours.

1204
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:11,840
I'll fuck them all up.

1205
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,840
Prep time, obviously, I probably would go with Black Man.

1206
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,840
But if you're just, like, a straight-out fight...

1207
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,840
What if Batman just calls the police? He's black.

1208
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:20,840
He's black? He's a black man.

1209
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,840
He's been following me for three blocks.

1210
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,840
I'll be fucked up. I'm funny.

1211
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:28,840
And he's a rich white guy.

1212
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,840
Yeah.

1213
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:31,840
Right there, Mr. Wayne.

1214
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:33,840
Money.

1215
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:34,840
That's the superpower.

1216
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,840
So fucked up.

1217
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,840
Uh, next one's a little bit, uh...

1218
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:42,840
I would assume a little bit closer, but I know who I would choose.

1219
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,840
Rogue versus Wonder Woman.

1220
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,840
Rogue versus what? Wonder Woman.

1221
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,840
66% of people agree with that.

1222
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,840
Because I think Rogue, didn't she absorb Captain Marvel's plan...

1223
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,840
Captain Marvel's planet?

1224
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,840
Captain Marvel stole her planet?

1225
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,840
Rogue took her powers, though, didn't she, at one point?

1226
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,840
But I don't think she would be able to take Wonder Woman, though.

1227
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:07,840
Like, maybe, but Wonder Woman would fuck her up in the process.

1228
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,840
Wolverine versus Denji.

1229
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:11,840
Denji? Who's Denji?

1230
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:13,840
Chainsaw Man. It's an anime.

1231
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,840
Most people chose Wolverine.

1232
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:16,840
Yeah, he's got adamantium.

1233
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,840
Even if he tried to cut through him, he wouldn't cut through him.

1234
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,840
Well, uh, Denji is a character that fights demons.

1235
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,840
So, it's a little...

1236
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,840
It's not like a normal chainsaw.

1237
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,840
Now I know who the chainsaw guy is.

1238
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,840
Yeah, with the chainsaw coming out of his head and stuff.

1239
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:30,840
Yeah.

1240
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,840
Uh, let's see here.

1241
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:34,840
I don't know this character, though.

1242
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,840
Tempest Foggenant versus Watu the Watcher.

1243
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,840
Little Fogger's Tempest what?

1244
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:42,840
I don't know who that is.

1245
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,840
Apparently, though, in the polls, he won 56%.

1246
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,840
So, people know him better than I do, apparently.

1247
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,840
Uh, next one is a pretty good one.

1248
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:52,840
Blade versus Hellboy.

1249
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:53,840
Blade versus Hellboy.

1250
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:54,840
Yeah.

1251
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,840
I'd go with Hellboy. He's my boy.

1252
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:58,840
Yeah, 70% of people agree with that.

1253
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:00,840
I think he'd fuck Blade up pretty good.

1254
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,840
I wouldn't say, like, he'd fuck him up, but, like, he'd be...

1255
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:03,840
Give him enough time, though.

1256
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:04,840
Yeah, he'd win.

1257
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,840
Hellboy's got super strength.

1258
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,840
He's got accelerated healing. He's got that hammer.

1259
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:10,840
Like, Blade's good.

1260
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,840
The hammer with the right hand.

1261
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:14,840
The right hand of Doom.

1262
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,840
Uh, what about this one, then?

1263
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:18,840
Dr. Doom versus Black Adam.

1264
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,840
Dr. Doom versus Black Adam.

1265
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,840
Dr. Doom.

1266
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,840
I mean, I would probably go with Dr. Green.

1267
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,840
Well, yeah, Dr. Doom is like Dr. Doom, but, like,

1268
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:31,840
if we're looking at, like, overall, or, like, just physicality.

1269
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:32,840
Like, overall.

1270
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,840
He'd probably be Dr. Doom. He'd probably figure something out.

1271
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,840
Yeah, 81% of people agree.

1272
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:36,840
He's a sorcery.

1273
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:38,840
That's what I was thinking, is that he's gonna use sorcery.

1274
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,840
Anyway, his powers.

1275
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,840
Basically, Black Adam versus Shazam.

1276
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,840
Like, look who's fucked up now.

1277
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,840
Here's a good one, though. Deadpool versus Lobo.

1278
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:49,840
Deadpool versus, like, Lobo.

1279
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:50,840
Yeah, I don't know.

1280
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:52,840
Like, as much as Deadpool, he's not, like, at that level of physicality.

1281
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,840
Well, on top of that, Lobo literally cannot die.

1282
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:56,840
Yeah.

1283
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:58,840
Superman can't kill Lobo.

1284
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,840
Like, motherfucker, I wish I could say you die alone,

1285
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,840
but it's one of God's best jokes. You can't die.

1286
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,840
Did you see Hugh Jackman's interview?

1287
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,840
He's like, I really did have more lines in that

1288
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,840
than I've ever had in a movie.

1289
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:10,840
Like, a couple of his movies

1290
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,840
actually had more lines in that monologue.

1291
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:14,840
You know what's funny about that scene

1292
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,840
is when he says, like, it's one of God's best jokes,

1293
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,840
he punches the ceiling.

1294
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:19,840
Yeah.

1295
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:20,840
God's best jokes.

1296
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,840
A little nuance that I like.

1297
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,840
Like, the little, like, detail.

1298
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,840
That was a great monologue, though.

1299
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,840
We're fighting now.

1300
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:30,840
Oh, are we?

1301
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:32,840
Get smacked in the face.

1302
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:34,840
He's like, what the fuck? You punched me in the face.

1303
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,840
They beat the hell out of me.

1304
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,840
Popeye versus the Hulk.

1305
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,840
Popeye versus the Hulk.

1306
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,840
That's a meme.

1307
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,840
59% of people agree with you.

1308
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:49,840
Uh, Homelander versus Batman.

1309
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,840
Homelander versus Batman.

1310
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,840
They don't even put prep time.

1311
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,840
I know. They don't say if there is or not, so...

1312
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,840
Um, yeah. Homelander's a fucking psycho.

1313
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,840
He's a psychopath.

1314
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,840
And he's not gonna be like, uh, like, stop.

1315
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:07,840
He's gonna fucking laser him in the face.

1316
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,840
Right. But do you think Batman would be able to have a plan ahead of time?

1317
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,840
If he knew about him, sure.

1318
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:14,840
Like, if they're in the same universe anyway?

1319
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:16,840
Yeah, like, if he was planning how to beat him?

1320
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,840
Yeah. You think Batman could win that one?

1321
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,840
I mean, 78% of people do think that he could, so...

1322
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,840
I don't know, like...

1323
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,840
I mean, he has plans for Superman.

1324
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:26,840
There's no script tonight.

1325
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,840
No? But then again, Homelander has never survived a nuclear bomb either.

1326
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:31,840
They say he can. They say he can survive anything.

1327
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:33,840
They say. But there's never been any proof of it.

1328
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:35,840
Why the fuck would Batman get his nuclear bomb out of a nuclear bomb?

1329
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:37,840
I bought it from a Russian. Money.

1330
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:39,840
That's his superpower. He's gonna want it.

1331
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,840
That's his Russian.

1332
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,840
So are you choosing Homelander or Batman on that one?

1333
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:45,840
Probably Homelander.

1334
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,840
Go against the polls?

1335
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,840
Something about that just feels... like if it was that universe.

1336
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,840
Right. Yeah.

1337
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:54,840
What if Homelander came into the DC universe?

1338
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,840
Then Superman would beat his ass.

1339
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,840
What are you doing, boy?

1340
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:03,840
Watch, I hope I didn't try to laser Superman and just bounce this off.

1341
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,840
Just fucking cut his cable like, you motherfucker.

1342
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,840
My mama sold that for me.

1343
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:11,840
What about Vandal Savage versus Immortal from...

1344
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,840
What do you call it? Invincible.

1345
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:15,840
Oh, Immortal?

1346
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,840
Be Immortal, because he's actually like...

1347
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,840
Superpowered? Yeah.

1348
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,840
Surprisingly, people voted for Vandal Savage.

1349
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,840
And I'm just old.

1350
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:26,840
That's what I was thinking too. His superpower is money too.

1351
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,840
Yeah, basically.

1352
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,840
Here's a good one, and you already know who I'm going with this.

1353
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,840
Ghost Rider versus Spectre.

1354
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:35,840
Yeah.

1355
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:36,840
Do you know who I'm going with?

1356
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:38,840
Ghost Rider.

1357
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,840
The polls actually would have been with you if you chose Ghost Rider.

1358
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:43,840
Really?

1359
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,840
77% of people think Ghost Rider.

1360
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:47,840
This is more recognizable, really.

1361
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,840
I think that is the biggest reason.

1362
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:51,840
Nicholas Cage.

1363
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,840
Yeah, because if you're going by comic books, yeah, Ghost Rider is strong, but...

1364
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,840
What's his most powerful ability? Penance Stare?

1365
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:58,840
Would that work, Spectre?

1366
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,840
No, but he doesn't have guilt, because it's God's judgment.

1367
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:02,840
I don't have a soul either.

1368
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:03,840
No.

1369
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:04,840
Takes a soul, doesn't it?

1370
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:05,840
Yeah.

1371
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:06,840
Can't remember.

1372
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:08,840
And this is just Spectre. This is not...

1373
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:12,840
He tried to do it to Spider-Man's, but I'm like, I'm dizzy, but he didn't get affected at all.

1374
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:16,840
Right. You're basically going against God's vengeance.

1375
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:18,840
Spider-Man checks off?

1376
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,840
Yes. You know he does.

1377
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,840
What? Like, does he have the time?

1378
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,840
I mean, he's pitiful enough sometimes.

1379
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:29,840
A pity wake?

1380
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:36,840
He's just wearing his v-

1381
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:41,840
Because like, okay, because like, we have normal lives, right?

1382
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:42,840
Yes.

1383
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,840
And we go about our day, and every once in a while, he's going to fucking jerky.

1384
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,840
That's just the normal state of your life, as a regular human being.

1385
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,840
You know Peter Parker has a pity wake every once in a while?

1386
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:56,840
No, like, because he has like, far beyond our own fucking- like, he's got a shitty job, sure.

1387
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:57,840
Yes.

1388
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,840
Sometimes he doesn't have a girlfriend, but he also has to be Spider-Man all the time.

1389
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,840
Like, I just don't imagine him stupidly to the level of the angel-

1390
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:05,840
He's not being a fucking professor?

1391
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:11,840
Yeah. I can't envision that as part of his routine.

1392
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:12,840
I could.

1393
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,840
As pitiful as he is sometimes, yeah.

1394
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:18,840
Like, as a normal guy, right?

1395
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:19,840
Yeah.

1396
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:23,840
Like, you clean yourself off with one of your old dirty whatever, like, shorts or-

1397
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,840
He doesn't need to clean himself off, he just puts his suit back on?

1398
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,840
Like, no, like, what if he used his shirt one night, like his suit, right?

1399
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:34,840
And he just throws the pant legs into the fucking, the bin, the laundry bin, he goes back to bed.

1400
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:36,840
That early morning, something happens, and he goes and fights.

1401
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,840
He puts his pants up like a cum stand across the side of his thigh.

1402
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:40,840
Like, see, I don't-

1403
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:42,840
He doesn't notice, and he just goes out like-

1404
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:46,840
I can see it, though. His life sometimes is that bad that he would do that.

1405
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,840
He seems so wholesome that he would never sphynch to do that.

1406
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,840
Oh, I can see it. He's not an old person?

1407
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:54,840
Oh, no.

1408
00:59:54,840 --> 01:00:00,840
Over there thinking about Mary Jane is like a pity wank, like-

1409
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:01,840
I can see it.

1410
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:05,840
I just can't see it for Peter Parker.

1411
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:07,840
Like, he goes against his whole character.

1412
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:09,840
Like, have you ever seen that comic panel where it's got Black Cat,

1413
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,840
and she finds out that Peter Parker is underage, and she goes and throws up?

1414
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:13,840
Yeah.

1415
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:15,840
And then he went home and had a pity wank?

1416
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:16,840
Did he?

1417
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:17,840
No, I-

1418
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:19,840
Oh, that's what you're assuming.

1419
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:22,840
He thought he was going to get some help from Black Cat.

1420
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,840
He was only 15, though, so she-

1421
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:25,840
I know, exactly, a pity wank.

1422
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,840
Or she fucking vomited.

1423
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:30,840
What are we talking about?

1424
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:36,840
All right, next poll. The D creator versus the one below all.

1425
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:38,840
I don't know, either one.

1426
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:45,840
One's DC's, like, Ultimate Evil, and the other one's Marvel's Ultimate Evil.

1427
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:46,840
Mephisto?

1428
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:48,840
No, but even worse than him, though.

1429
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:49,840
Because you know-

1430
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:50,840
Mephisto?

1431
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:53,840
Well, you know the one above all? This is just his reverse.

1432
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:57,840
Right. I don't know. Neither.

1433
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,840
Polls, obviously, they say the one below all, because he's more commonly known.

1434
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,840
He just sounds cooler, the one below all.

1435
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:03,840
Instead of the D creator.

1436
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:06,840
Some guy in the- yeah, like, he'd D create the one below all.

1437
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:08,840
Okay, here's a good one, though.

1438
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:12,840
Lucifer Morningstar versus God of Stories Loki.

1439
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:14,840
God of Stories Loki, that's my boy.

1440
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,840
Mm-hmm. I'm going Lucifer.

1441
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:22,840
Going. I love stories. I could listen to his stories all day.

1442
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:27,840
The reason I choose Lucifer is because he is the, like, in the chain of DC comics,

1443
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:31,840
he is, like, the third most powerful being in all of creation.

1444
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,840
And Luke, God of Stories Loki is-

1445
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,840
Right below Batman.

1446
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:40,840
He's right below-

1447
01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:43,840
Uh, polls went with Lucifer on that one, though.

1448
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:47,840
What about Kingpin versus Bane?

1449
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,840
This is a very lopsided poll.

1450
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,840
Why? It's very lopsided.

1451
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:52,840
Why do I want Bane?

1452
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,840
Yeah, Bane, 87% of people agree with that.

1453
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:59,840
He made fucked up Batman. He's back pretty bad.

1454
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:03,840
Why did he break fucking Kingpin's back so Kingpin's not on a fucking wheelchair?

1455
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:08,840
Which version of Kingpin? The one from fucking, uh, that new Spider-Man with the mouth more elegant?

1456
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:09,840
The big motherfucker.

1457
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:10,840
Yeah, he's the big dude.

1458
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:14,840
He's, like, his head was so big, like, it was almost like his belly button.

1459
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:15,840
Oh, yeah, I know.

1460
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:17,840
Like, his fucking hunchback was so high. You remember how he looked?

1461
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:18,840
Yeah.

1462
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:22,840
His design, his head was so fucking low. I was like, God dang.

1463
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,840
Yeah. Now, this is the original Kingpin.

1464
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,840
He's still a big motherfucker, too.

1465
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:32,840
All right, out of this, two pairings. Batman and Iron Man versus Superman and Captain America.

1466
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:36,840
Mm. Mm.

1467
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,840
Probably only Captain America.

1468
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:42,840
Yeah, I would assume that's, I mean, one's superpowered and...

1469
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:48,840
I mean, technically, if we're being honest, there's Superman, Settlers, without any help, but...

1470
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:51,840
Unless Batman brings that kryptonite with him.

1471
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:53,840
But then you got Captain America.

1472
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:58,840
Here's one for you, though. Rocket raccoon versus detective chimp.

1473
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:02,840
In an actual fight, probably Rocket raccoon. He's a better fighter.

1474
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:03,840
Think so?

1475
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,840
Yeah. He's got a bunch of gadgets.

1476
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:08,840
Yeah, apparently nobody knew who he was in this poll, though, for detective chimp, so...

1477
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:09,840
Interesting.

1478
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:12,840
Rocket raccoon, 170 to 30 on that one.

1479
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:13,840
All right, uh...

1480
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,840
Must have been before Guardians of the Galaxy.

1481
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,840
Because if it was now, they'd be like, who the fuck is detective chimp?

1482
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:22,840
Now, this is another very long-sighted poll, but, uh, Homelander versus Doomsday.

1483
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:25,840
Doomsday?

1484
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:29,840
Doomsday just fucking him up completely.

1485
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:33,840
Like, massively. 94% of people chose Doomsday.

1486
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:36,840
What I want to know is who chose Homelander in this situation?

1487
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:38,840
Like, he's a never-fought...

1488
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,840
A true believer.

1489
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:42,840
...in Homelander.

1490
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:46,840
Uh, let's see here. Green Lantern versus Nova.

1491
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:48,840
Interesting. Probably Green Lantern.

1492
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:51,840
Yeah, that's where the polls went to. 74%.

1493
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,840
Uh, Power Girl versus She-Hulk.

1494
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:56,840
Them titties?

1495
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,840
Versus...

1496
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,840
Them muscles on that ass.

1497
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,840
Polls went for Power Girl. Uh, 87%.

1498
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:12,840
Uh, here's another one with your boy Hellboy, though. Hellboy versus Constantine.

1499
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,840
Hellboy's kind of immune to that stuff.

1500
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:17,840
Is he?

1501
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,840
Well, yeah, because he's also a demon. Well, he can get sent to hell, but he'd be back.

1502
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,840
He's actually half-human.

1503
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,840
I guess he's back, motherfuckin'.

1504
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:28,840
Polls leaned very heavily. John Constantine's favor, though. 79%.

1505
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,840
I'm sure they did.

1506
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,840
Uh, Dermamu versus Necron.

1507
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:35,840
Dermamu...

1508
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:36,840
...versus Necron.

1509
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:39,840
And I think this poll leaned a certain way because people don't know who Necron is.

1510
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:43,840
I'd probably go with Dermamu because I don't know who the guy is, either.

1511
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:46,840
Necron's the guy from The Blackest Night.

1512
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:48,840
Oh, that one guy that licks that fucking skull?

1513
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:50,840
No, the guy that's above him.

1514
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:54,840
Like, the actual, like, god of death, basically.

1515
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:56,840
Cool.

1516
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:58,840
But yeah, Dermamu won that one.

1517
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:00,840
Lobo versus Ghost Rider.

1518
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:02,840
Probably still Lobo.

1519
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:04,840
Yeah, apparently he lost this poll, though.

1520
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,840
I think the reason being is because...

1521
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:08,840
From Men in Stair?

1522
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:11,840
Yeah, but, like, Lobo doesn't feel guilt about the people he's killed.

1523
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:13,840
He didn't give a fuck.

1524
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:15,840
He's happy about it.

1525
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,840
Killer Krog versus the Lizard.

1526
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,840
Killer Krog versus the Lizard.

1527
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:23,840
Spider-Man's Lizard.

1528
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:24,840
Yeah.

1529
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:25,840
I don't know.

1530
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:26,840
That's a close one.

1531
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:27,840
You think so?

1532
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:28,840
Yeah, that's a real close one.

1533
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:29,840
I'd probably go with Killer Krog.

1534
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:31,840
Yeah, that's why the polls led to.

1535
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,840
Here's a four-way one, right?

1536
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:35,840
Ooh, I love me a four-way.

1537
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:39,840
Three dudes, one girl.

1538
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:43,840
The ultimate devil's quadruple instead of a triangle.

1539
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:44,840
Damn permutative triangle.

1540
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:45,840
The devil's...

1541
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:48,840
My girl in the middle.

1542
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,840
Good lord.

1543
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:57,840
First of all, you guys have to fuck each other, and the one with the most stamina gets to fuck me.

1544
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,840
What?

1545
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:01,840
I will see myself out.

1546
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,840
All right, this is the best captain.

1547
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:06,840
No fights.

1548
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:07,840
Like, there's no fighting involved.

1549
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,840
Just who is the best captain?

1550
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,840
Or the person with the captain in their name, right?

1551
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:13,840
Captain Jack Sparrow?

1552
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:14,840
Captain America?

1553
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,840
Captain Marvel or Captain Adam?

1554
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:17,840
Same again?

1555
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:18,840
Captain Jack Sparrow.

1556
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:19,840
There it is.

1557
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:20,840
You choosing that one?

1558
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:21,840
Yeah.

1559
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:22,840
You know who won that one, though?

1560
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:23,840
Who?

1561
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:24,840
Captain America.

1562
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:25,840
Captain Corse.

1563
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,840
It's America's ass right there.

1564
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:34,840
Superman Prime One Million versus Rune King Thor.

1565
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:36,840
Magic versus age.

1566
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:38,840
I still go with Superman.

1567
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:40,840
Yeah, that's what 81% of people went to.

1568
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:41,840
Rune Skin Thor?

1569
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:42,840
Rune King Thor.

1570
01:06:42,840 --> 01:06:43,840
Rune King Thor.

1571
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:44,840
He's an interesting character.

1572
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:45,840
Yeah, he is.

1573
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,840
Wolverine versus Lobo.

1574
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:49,840
That'd still be Lobo.

1575
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:50,840
Yeah.

1576
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:51,840
Actually, it's pretty...

1577
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:54,840
Basically just Wolverine just amped up in the superhuman level.

1578
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:55,840
True, true.

1579
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:57,840
Odin versus Highfather.

1580
01:06:57,840 --> 01:06:59,840
Odin.

1581
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:01,840
That's what most people...

1582
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:04,840
Most people didn't choose Highfather at all.

1583
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:05,840
All right.

1584
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:07,840
Thrag versus Homelander.

1585
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:10,840
Thrag versus Homelander.

1586
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:11,840
You know who Thrag is, right?

1587
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:12,840
It'd still be Thrag.

1588
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:13,840
93%.

1589
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,840
There's still that 7% that's rooting for Homelander there.

1590
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:18,840
It's just he never has...

1591
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:23,840
In the invincible world, they're always fucking fighting, so they're only getting better.

1592
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:25,840
What's that word?

1593
01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:26,840
Iron...

1594
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:27,840
Iron sharpens iron.

1595
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,840
Right, so they're always getting...

1596
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,840
But he's never had...

1597
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:34,840
The one time he had an equal fight was against fucking Soldier Boy.

1598
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:36,840
And he almost got fucked up.

1599
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:41,840
Right, and then he got jumped by fucking Huey and Butcher, and they almost beat him.

1600
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:42,840
Yeah.

1601
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:46,840
And it took the fucking Hulk level rage to fucking push him off and fly out of there.

1602
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:47,840
Yeah.

1603
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:50,840
So the first time he actually got challenged, like he was having trouble.

1604
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:53,840
When Queen Maeve started to fight him in season three at the end...

1605
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,840
She was actually able to get a few licks in.

1606
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:56,840
Yeah, she fucking bloodied his nose up.

1607
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:57,840
Yeah.

1608
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:01,840
So the minute he gets a real fight, he's like, like, fuck.

1609
01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:02,840
He didn't know what to do.

1610
01:08:02,840 --> 01:08:05,840
He just like, he's more powerful through intimidation than actual skill.

1611
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:06,840
I agree with that.

1612
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:07,840
I agree with that.

1613
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:09,840
Just his power levels just makes him dangerous.

1614
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:11,840
In his world anyway.

1615
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:12,840
Right.

1616
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:13,840
Yeah.

1617
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:15,840
Moon Knight versus Azrael.

1618
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:16,840
Um...

1619
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:19,840
Probably Azrael.

1620
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:20,840
Moon Knight won this one.

1621
01:08:20,840 --> 01:08:21,840
80%.

1622
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,840
That's right after the show.

1623
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:24,840
Probably.

1624
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:26,840
Falcon versus Vulture.

1625
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:27,840
Falcon versus Vulture.

1626
01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:28,840
I still like Falcon.

1627
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:30,840
That's what most people like.

1628
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,840
The Vulture, nah, not so much.

1629
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:36,840
Hulk versus Gotham.

1630
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:38,840
Hulk versus Gotham?

1631
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:40,840
Who wait, who's Gotham?

1632
01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:43,840
DC character, combination character, I believe.

1633
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:44,840
Huh.

1634
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,840
Still go with Hulk.

1635
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:47,840
91% of people agree with that.

1636
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:48,840
Fucking Gotham.

1637
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:49,840
Oh, here's a good one.

1638
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,840
Cable Boy, Cable Cable Boy.

1639
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,840
You're like Cable Boy.

1640
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,840
Cable versus Booster Gold.

1641
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,840
I like Booster Gold, but I probably Cable.

1642
01:08:57,840 --> 01:08:58,840
Cable on that one.

1643
01:08:58,840 --> 01:08:59,840
Cable on that one.

1644
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:00,840
Yeah.

1645
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,840
Brainiac versus King the Conqueror.

1646
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,840
Take me my Brainiac.

1647
01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:07,840
Surprisingly, I actually lean to Brainiac.

1648
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:15,840
I would assume that, you know, with the people knowing who King the Conqueror is more so now than Brainiac.

1649
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:17,840
Here's a good one, though, because it's two planets.

1650
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:20,840
So it's Ego the Living Planet versus Mogo.

1651
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:21,840
I go with Ego.

1652
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:22,840
I'm going with Mogo.

1653
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:25,840
I go with he's more popular from the fucking Kurt Russell.

1654
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:27,840
What's up, baby?

1655
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:29,840
But you know who Mogo is, all right?

1656
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:31,840
Mogo actually won this one, surprisingly.

1657
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:35,840
Even though most people don't even know who he is, like popular culture anyway.

1658
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,840
Like, obviously, people that read comic books know who Mogo is.

1659
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:40,840
It's a planet that's a Green Lantern.

1660
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:42,840
Oh, that guy.

1661
01:09:42,840 --> 01:09:43,840
OK.

1662
01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:44,840
Yeah, Mogo.

1663
01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:45,840
Except by something else.

1664
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:46,840
Who were you thinking of?

1665
01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:48,840
Something else.

1666
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,840
No, Mogo, the Green Lantern.

1667
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:55,840
Like an Ego version of a DC character, like another planet, because I could have sworn.

1668
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:56,840
Was there another one?

1669
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:58,840
There was an evil one that was just a planet.

1670
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,840
Like some other planet, level entity.

1671
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:02,840
Yeah.

1672
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:03,840
No, this is the Green Lantern planet.

1673
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,840
The little guy, yeah.

1674
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:09,840
Where he hits a planet that literally is a Green Lantern, which is fucking crazy.

1675
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:10,840
Here's a good one.

1676
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:17,840
Bullseye versus Deadshot.

1677
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:24,840
Deadshot, because of the way he was in Arkham Origins as a fucking lethal motherfucker.

1678
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:28,840
And in Arkham City, the way he could just assassinate people with angles.

1679
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:30,840
Yeah, true, true.

1680
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,840
Who's the one with the Sinister Six or the Rogues?

1681
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:35,840
You know, I love me the Sinister Six.

1682
01:10:35,840 --> 01:10:36,840
They my boys.

1683
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:38,840
There still hasn't been a proper.

1684
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:42,840
Like, I wish I was famous enough, a writer, that I could be like, hey, call them Marvel.

1685
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:44,840
Hey, Marvel, let me do a mini-series.

1686
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:45,840
12 issues.

1687
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:46,840
Let me do the Sinister Six.

1688
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:48,840
They'd be like, bet.

1689
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:49,840
Bet.

1690
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:51,840
Who is this, by the way?

1691
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:54,840
Who's calling?

1692
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:57,840
Ultron versus Cyborg.

1693
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:58,840
Ultron.

1694
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:00,840
You think so?

1695
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:01,840
Well, Cyborg's smart.

1696
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:04,840
So if he was able to like, well, like, that's the thing.

1697
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:09,840
Isn't it Apocalypse Technology versus, or was Cyborg given Apocalypse Technology?

1698
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:11,840
He was in the comic books.

1699
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,840
But in the comic books?

1700
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:15,840
Or was it just cybernetics?

1701
01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:16,840
He was just cybernetics, I think.

1702
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:17,840
OK.

1703
01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:22,840
But like, because I guess I could start going to like a storytelling type format in my head.

1704
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:23,840
Yeah.

1705
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:24,840
Like, I can't just be like this.

1706
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,840
Like, it would be like Ultron, right?

1707
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:32,840
And like, maybe like he's able to control a bit of like, he'd like, they're fighting, right?

1708
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:34,840
And Cyborg wins the fight.

1709
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:40,840
But like, Red is fighting like Ultron whispers in his ear or something, right?

1710
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:48,840
And it's like a verbal virus that affects Cyborg's cybernetics.

1711
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:49,840
Yeah.

1712
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:52,840
And they start slowly possessing him throughout the little storyline.

1713
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:54,840
Because I can't help myself.

1714
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,840
But I can see it working that way, though.

1715
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,840
And then like eventually has to fight off the virus.

1716
01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:02,840
Like he starts getting like the flu-like symptoms.

1717
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:04,840
Like, I don't understand. I'm cybernetic. How am I getting sick?

1718
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:05,840
Yeah.

1719
01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:08,840
Because like maybe he destroys Ultron, but he doesn't destroy Ultron.

1720
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:09,840
Right.

1721
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:11,840
And then eventually like a baby Ultron comes out of his ass.

1722
01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:12,840
I'm kidding that part.

1723
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:18,840
But it wasn't through that storyline where Cyborg cybernetics actually ripped themselves away from him.

1724
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:19,840
I don't know.

1725
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:20,840
And became its own character, basically.

1726
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:21,840
That would suck.

1727
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:22,840
Whereas like a villain.

1728
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:25,840
Because they're only like half of, you know, like fucking like the head and the arm.

1729
01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:26,840
Yeah.

1730
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,840
Like the shoulders.

1731
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,840
He's like, wait, don't leave me.

1732
01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:31,840
How about Mephisto versus Trigon?

1733
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:32,840
Who?

1734
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:33,840
That's a good one.

1735
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:34,840
I love Trigon, though.

1736
01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:35,840
He's so cool.

1737
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:36,840
I know. Yeah.

1738
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:38,840
He's just so powerful that you don't even want him in your planet.

1739
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:45,840
Like there's a lot of debate even between if Trigon could beat Darkseid.

1740
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:49,840
Because Trigon is like a extremely powerful entity.

1741
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:50,840
Right.

1742
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:52,840
And Trigon won the poll, though, surprisingly.

1743
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:53,840
75 percent.

1744
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:58,840
Which is really surprising considering that most people know more about Mephisto than they do Trigon.

1745
01:12:58,840 --> 01:12:59,840
I know.

1746
01:12:59,840 --> 01:13:01,840
Well, after the Teen Titans show, I don't think so.

1747
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:04,840
I think Trigon is a bit more on the mainstream.

1748
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:05,840
Yeah.

1749
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:06,840
They did have a TV show, didn't they?

1750
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:07,840
Yeah.

1751
01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:10,840
And that was a big thing when fucking Raven and like, oh my God.

1752
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:11,840
We were like, oh, it's funny.

1753
01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:13,840
The kids were coming like, oh my God, who is Trigon?

1754
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:14,840
He's so dangerous.

1755
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:15,840
He's so powerful.

1756
01:13:15,840 --> 01:13:17,840
He even had Slade under his possession.

1757
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:18,840
Yeah, that's true.

1758
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:20,840
He even fucking Slade killed himself to help him.

1759
01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:23,840
It's like, oh my fucking God.

1760
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,840
Then they fucking cancel the damn show.

1761
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:26,840
I know, which sucks.

1762
01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:29,840
And then they brought it back in your type of way.

1763
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:31,840
Teen Titans Go?

1764
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:32,840
God.

1765
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:34,840
They go to the movies.

1766
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:35,840
I wonder if...

1767
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:38,840
I guess they did have that one movie where they go to Tokyo.

1768
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:39,840
Yeah.

1769
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:42,840
The actual Teen Titans characters.

1770
01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:43,840
Yeah.

1771
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:45,840
They had that weird guy that was like painting shit.

1772
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:46,840
Can't remember, it was weird.

1773
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:48,840
Yeah, it was...

1774
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,840
I think Robin kills one or like, it looks like he kills one, but he didn't.

1775
01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:53,840
It was just like a fucking clone or like a robot or something.

1776
01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:54,840
Yeah.

1777
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:57,840
He had some brutal fight and it looks like he fucking kills him and breaks his fucking neck.

1778
01:13:57,840 --> 01:14:01,840
It's like, oh my God, a kid shot.

1779
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:03,840
I broke his fucking neck.

1780
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:07,840
What about Wonder Woman versus Captain Marvel?

1781
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:08,840
I still like Wonder Woman.

1782
01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:09,840
Yeah.

1783
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:10,840
I think most people do.

1784
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:11,840
Nobody likes Captain Marvel at this point.

1785
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:12,840
I'm a minder, right?

1786
01:14:12,840 --> 01:14:13,840
Just, you know.

1787
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:14,840
She's a bland character though.

1788
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:16,840
That is the problem.

1789
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:18,840
They need a better writer.

1790
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:19,840
Here's a good one though.

1791
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:20,840
I probably shouldn't say that.

1792
01:14:20,840 --> 01:14:21,840
Sorry about that writer.

1793
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:22,840
They did their best.

1794
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:23,840
No, no, cut.

1795
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:24,840
You're a cuff.

1796
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:25,840
I don't want to shit on other writers.

1797
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:26,840
You're the one coughing, it's not me.

1798
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:27,840
Every time you say it, they're just the underlying cough.

1799
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:28,840
No.

1800
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:29,840
You gotta respect people's writing.

1801
01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:30,840
You might not.

1802
01:14:30,840 --> 01:14:31,840
They're not gonna know if it's you or me, then?

1803
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:32,840
It ain't me.

1804
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:33,840
I'm just saying.

1805
01:14:33,840 --> 01:14:34,840
I'm just saying.

1806
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:35,840
I'm just saying.

1807
01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:36,840
I'm just saying.

1808
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:37,840
I'm just saying.

1809
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:38,840
I'm just saying.

1810
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:39,840
I'm just saying.

1811
01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:40,840
I'm just saying.

1812
01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:41,840
I'm just saying.

1813
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:42,840
I'm just saying.

1814
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:44,840
I'm just saying.

1815
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:45,840
They're not gonna know if it's you or me, then?

1816
01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:46,840
It ain't me coughing.

1817
01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:47,840
What about Kratos versus Gore?

1818
01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:48,840
Kratos versus Gore?

1819
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:49,840
Yeah.

1820
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:50,840
Oh.

1821
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:51,840
Gore the Godbutcher.

1822
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:52,840
That's a cool one.

1823
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:53,840
Yeah.

1824
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:54,840
Still be Kratos though.

1825
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:55,840
I think Kratos still.

1826
01:14:55,840 --> 01:14:56,840
Got that beard, man.

1827
01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:57,840
Another one for your homelander people.

1828
01:14:57,840 --> 01:14:58,840
Oh, God.

1829
01:14:58,840 --> 01:14:59,840
Homelander versus invincible.

1830
01:14:59,840 --> 01:15:00,840
Homelander versus bubbles from Powerpuff Girls.

1831
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:01,840
He still got his socks.

1832
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:02,840
He still got his ass beat.

1833
01:15:02,840 --> 01:15:03,840
Like, no joke, he's done.

1834
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:04,840
But I still get a shit.

1835
01:15:04,840 --> 01:15:05,840
Like, no joke, he's done.

1836
01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:06,840
Like, no joke, he's done.

1837
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:07,840
Like, no joke, he's done.

1838
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:08,840
Like, no joke, he's done.

1839
01:15:08,840 --> 01:15:13,840
But I still get a shit out of him.

1840
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:14,840
That would be hilarious.

1841
01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:15,840
Versus invincible?

1842
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:16,840
Yeah.

1843
01:15:16,840 --> 01:15:17,840
He's still losing.

1844
01:15:17,840 --> 01:15:18,840
That kid is...

1845
01:15:18,840 --> 01:15:19,840
Yeah.

1846
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:20,840
He fought his own dad.

1847
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:21,840
His dad beat his ass.

1848
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:22,840
I think we found homelander ceiling though in this, which is 11%.

1849
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:23,840
It still won't kill a homelander.

1850
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:24,840
Damn.

1851
01:15:24,840 --> 01:15:25,840
Roadrunner versus The Flash.

1852
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:26,840
Oh, probably still The Flash.

1853
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:27,840
I could go through time.

1854
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:28,840
Yeah.

1855
01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:29,840
Roadrunner's like, meep, meep.

1856
01:15:29,840 --> 01:15:30,840
People are like, meep, meep.

1857
01:15:30,840 --> 01:15:31,840
He's gone.

1858
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:41,840
Wait, does that mean he's using the speed force?

1859
01:15:41,840 --> 01:15:47,120
This is The Flash.

1860
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:48,840
I call all speedsters.

1861
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:52,760
We need to, like, because they have to like, maybe like, something happened to like the

1862
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:53,760
speed wheel or whatever.

1863
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:54,760
Yeah.

1864
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:58,920
So he needs all the, every speedster to enter throughout the entire Marvel or DC universe.

1865
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:03,480
And then you just see fucking the Roadrunner in one panel.

1866
01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:04,480
He's running towards you.

1867
01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:05,480
Say, do you see Jay Garrick?

1868
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:07,480
Do you see, you know, Wally West, Barry Allen?

1869
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:08,480
They just little...

1870
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:12,920
Now that would actually be a great cameo though in the background.

1871
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:13,920
Yeah.

1872
01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:14,920
Speedy Gonzalez.

1873
01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:19,520
Godzilla versus Doomsday.

1874
01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:23,200
Doomsday versus Godzilla?

1875
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,200
Doomsday.

1876
01:16:24,200 --> 01:16:28,480
Like actual Doomsday, like from more than DC?

1877
01:16:28,480 --> 01:16:29,480
Or is it Godzilla?

1878
01:16:29,480 --> 01:16:34,240
When he just go up his asshole and like, just draw his organs from the inside?

1879
01:16:34,240 --> 01:16:36,960
Like, I'm like, I'm just dead being serious.

1880
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:39,240
Like, he could punch in like a bullet.

1881
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:42,440
And guys are like, ah, ha ha ha.

1882
01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:43,440
You got fucking a sass take.

1883
01:16:43,440 --> 01:16:44,920
Oh, what the f...

1884
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:47,640
Have you seen that new comic series where it's the JLA versus Godzilla?

1885
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:48,640
I've seen it.

1886
01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:49,640
Oh my god.

1887
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:50,640
I'm like, huh.

1888
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:53,640
Like, they really like just combine.

1889
01:16:53,640 --> 01:16:55,680
Maybe because they're both Warner, aren't they?

1890
01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:57,400
I think, yeah, I think so.

1891
01:16:57,400 --> 01:17:00,600
And on top of that, that really Justice League's gonna lose to Godzilla.

1892
01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:01,600
They did.

1893
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:02,600
Like really?

1894
01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:03,600
Like, come on, really?

1895
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:05,160
Superman alone would fuck up Godzilla.

1896
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:07,160
Godzilla like you thought.

1897
01:17:07,160 --> 01:17:10,560
Surprisingly, Godzilla won that one.

1898
01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:11,560
I know, I heard.

1899
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:14,120
Oh, I thought you meant the other one.

1900
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:16,120
He did win the first fight, apparently.

1901
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:18,120
What about Blade versus Katana?

1902
01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:19,120
Katana?

1903
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:20,120
What's good?

1904
01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:21,120
DC?

1905
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:22,120
That little...

1906
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:23,120
That Asian girl with the sword?

1907
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:25,840
The girl that played, that's actually, that's Kimiko from The Boys.

1908
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:26,840
Yeah, I know.

1909
01:17:26,840 --> 01:17:27,840
I remember that, yeah.

1910
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:28,840
Probably Blade.

1911
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:31,840
Think Blade on that one?

1912
01:17:31,840 --> 01:17:36,080
Well, because like, if they were equal, like even if there was a light disparity, right?

1913
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:38,560
Let's say Katana has got better martial arts skills.

1914
01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:39,560
Right.

1915
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:42,840
He could trump it with higher level physical ability.

1916
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:43,840
Yeah.

1917
01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,600
Like, let's say, it's like basically...

1918
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,680
Like he can make a few more mistakes and still be fine.

1919
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:49,240
Right, because he's got superhuman abilities.

1920
01:17:49,240 --> 01:17:50,240
Right, reaction speed.

1921
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:53,960
It'd be like me, being me, right, fighting a heavyweight boxer.

1922
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:54,960
Yeah.

1923
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,040
Like, I might be equal level skill, but he's gonna beat my ass.

1924
01:17:58,040 --> 01:17:59,040
You know what I mean?

1925
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:02,200
Or I could be a better skill than him and he'd still beat my ass.

1926
01:18:02,200 --> 01:18:05,120
Yeah, it'd be like you fight Mike Tyson and he's like, it's a thing that can go your way.

1927
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:10,120
Like, if I was like a fucking championship level flyweight, fucking 112 pounds, I guess...

1928
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:11,120
You're still losing, yeah.

1929
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:15,080
...and he's still just butter-beaned, and like I can dodge a move, right, but he can

1930
01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:16,080
still hit me and I'm...

1931
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:17,080
And one hit and you're gone.

1932
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:20,480
Like, I could land like 100 punches to his three and I still get knocked the fuck out.

1933
01:18:20,480 --> 01:18:22,680
Yeah, I can see that.

1934
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:23,680
Ant-Man versus Adam.

1935
01:18:23,680 --> 01:18:26,840
I like Adam, so...

1936
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,480
I agree with that, and he actually won the poll surprisingly.

1937
01:18:29,480 --> 01:18:31,520
Let's see here.

1938
01:18:31,520 --> 01:18:33,680
Piccolo versus Martian Manhunter.

1939
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:34,680
He's playing Martian Manhunter.

1940
01:18:34,680 --> 01:18:39,600
Well, actually, I don't know, because I don't know the gauge of...

1941
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:41,600
The DC versus like Dragon Ball.

1942
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:42,600
Dragon Ball Z, right.

1943
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:43,600
I don't know like their level.

1944
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:46,080
Like, where are we at for them?

1945
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:49,320
I know like the level of physical abilities with DC characters.

1946
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:51,600
Like, Superman can fucking throw a planet.

1947
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:52,600
Right.

1948
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:57,720
And basically, like in the What Is It to Fight with Goku versus Superman, it's extremely

1949
01:18:57,720 --> 01:19:03,000
comparable just because they're like multiversal level abilities and stuff, but Piccolo is

1950
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,040
not, so...

1951
01:19:05,040 --> 01:19:08,920
The only thing I'll give Martian Manhunter probably the edge on is he's got his mental

1952
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:12,000
abilities, so he'd fuck up Piccolo mentally.

1953
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:13,960
Piccolo, who the fuck's in my head?

1954
01:19:13,960 --> 01:19:14,960
What?

1955
01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:17,840
But like, strength-wise, I don't know, suit...

1956
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:22,560
Because I don't know, like, they never talk about their actual levels of power in the

1957
01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:27,120
character, and like, actual like strength and speed in DC and Dragon Ball Z.

1958
01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:28,120
Yeah.

1959
01:19:28,120 --> 01:19:29,120
They're just powerful.

1960
01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:30,320
That doesn't explain anything.

1961
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:33,000
But it doesn't correlate really to anything.

1962
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:35,640
Like I know that fucking March Man can throw a fucking building.

1963
01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:36,640
Yeah.

1964
01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:38,760
Like I've seen him throw one in Black Knight.

1965
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,400
And you know that he can go toe-to-toe with Superman for a little while.

1966
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:45,280
Right, and I know Superman can fucking throw a planet, so I understand that power level.

1967
01:19:45,280 --> 01:19:46,280
Yeah.

1968
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:50,240
Like, I understand DC or Dragon Ball Z characters are powerful, but I don't know like...

1969
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:52,680
Like, holistically what power that is.

1970
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:55,520
Like in comparisons to like DC and Marvel.

1971
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:56,520
Yeah.

1972
01:19:56,520 --> 01:19:59,960
Like I've never seen him do stuff in the real world.

1973
01:19:59,960 --> 01:20:00,960
Right.

1974
01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:04,960
I've seen him flight in fucking desert, barren fucking wastelands.

1975
01:20:04,960 --> 01:20:07,200
Right, and planets that are non-living.

1976
01:20:07,200 --> 01:20:11,360
Right, or like fucking Namek was fucking barren as fuck, like little villages.

1977
01:20:11,360 --> 01:20:14,960
Like I've never seen him throw a fucking like, fighting a...

1978
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:18,680
Like if I saw Batman and Bane fighting in a fucking house, right?

1979
01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:19,680
Right.

1980
01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:20,680
Like what would they do?

1981
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:21,680
They would fucking tear this house apart.

1982
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:22,680
Yeah.

1983
01:20:22,680 --> 01:20:24,640
If I could rip through the fucking walls and doors and everything.

1984
01:20:24,640 --> 01:20:25,640
Yeah.

1985
01:20:25,640 --> 01:20:26,640
I'd understand that.

1986
01:20:26,640 --> 01:20:30,240
Because like if I can't do that, if I went through a wall, I'd fucking cut myself up.

1987
01:20:30,240 --> 01:20:31,240
But you know there would be...

1988
01:20:31,240 --> 01:20:32,240
Yeah, there'd be damage.

1989
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:34,760
That's why a lot of people brought that up with Home Land or two, is that yeah, he's

1990
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:36,000
super powerful.

1991
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:38,720
But like him fighting Soldier Boy really didn't do shit to the house.

1992
01:20:38,720 --> 01:20:40,040
Not really, no.

1993
01:20:40,040 --> 01:20:42,960
Like what you would expect wise anyway.

1994
01:20:42,960 --> 01:20:44,440
What about Iron Man versus Blue Beetle?

1995
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,440
Uh, Iron Man.

1996
01:20:45,440 --> 01:20:48,520
You don't want to go Blue Beetle on that one?

1997
01:20:48,520 --> 01:20:49,760
I don't follow...

1998
01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:51,800
I'm not going to be like, just because he's Mexican, I'm also going to...

1999
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:54,400
I don't give a damn.

2000
01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:55,640
This is an easy one though too.

2001
01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:57,240
Jean Grey versus Starfire.

2002
01:20:57,240 --> 01:21:00,360
Jean Grey versus Starfire.

2003
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,120
I'm going Jean Grey on that one.

2004
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:03,120
I don't even...

2005
01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:08,760
I'm not even a Marvel fanboy, but I know.

2006
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:11,760
I love me some aliens.

2007
01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:13,160
Alright.

2008
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:16,240
Starfire is just so sexy.

2009
01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:19,080
And last one that we'll do for today is a duo.

2010
01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:24,840
Batman and Deathstroke versus Captain America and Winter Soldier.

2011
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:27,480
Damn going Batman and Deathstroke on that one though.

2012
01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:28,480
Yeah.

2013
01:21:28,480 --> 01:21:32,040
Cause Deathstroke is like, yeah Bucky Barnes is ruthless.

2014
01:21:32,040 --> 01:21:34,640
Well basically Deathstroke is Winter Soldier.

2015
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:38,160
They have the same level of physical, cause he's actually a super soldier.

2016
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:39,160
Yeah.

2017
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:43,680
Batman is not, but if we go by the death battle, he beats Captain America just through ingenuity.

2018
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:48,320
Well on top of that too, there was a comic whenever they did the crossover between DC

2019
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:53,160
and Marvel, when they had Batman and Captain America fight each other, where they fought

2020
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:55,840
for three days straight in the sewers.

2021
01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:56,840
And it was a draw.

2022
01:21:56,840 --> 01:21:57,840
They probably fucking stank.

2023
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:04,800
Alfred must have been like, sir, what the... if you'd be so kind as to fucking...

2024
01:22:04,800 --> 01:22:05,800
What the fuck is this?

2025
01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:06,800
Yeah.

2026
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:09,040
Okay, he comes into the van and just fucking vomits.

2027
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:10,520
Alfred just throws up.

2028
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:15,520
Oh my god, could you imagine being covered in sewage and sweat in three days?

2029
01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:17,000
Oh, B.O.

2030
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:22,600
That would be horrible though.

2031
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:26,480
You know my, you know the muffler on the Mini Cooper was fucked up, right?

2032
01:22:26,480 --> 01:22:30,640
So we went to go get it, or took it somewhere to get it fixed.

2033
01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:31,840
Now I'm in the white car.

2034
01:22:31,840 --> 01:22:32,840
The white car's AC is broken.

2035
01:22:32,840 --> 01:22:36,040
So if any one fucking thing, it's another.

2036
01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:39,040
It works, but the AC doesn't work.

2037
01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:42,080
They're saying either the band's broken or the fucking Freon's gone or something.

2038
01:22:42,080 --> 01:22:45,920
Cause like, if I press a little button for the AC, it flashes, then it shuts off.

2039
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:47,920
It's always just blowing air.

2040
01:22:47,920 --> 01:22:49,320
I'll check it before I leave.

2041
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:51,320
If you want to, you don't have to.

2042
01:22:51,320 --> 01:22:52,320
I'll help you out here.

2043
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:56,680
But man, I'm so tired of fucking everything, every car I get, there's always something

2044
01:22:56,680 --> 01:22:57,680
wrong.

2045
01:22:57,680 --> 01:23:02,200
The Mini Cooper's muffler, like the AC was terrible on the Mini Cooper.

2046
01:23:02,200 --> 01:23:04,060
But then the muffler fucked up.

2047
01:23:04,060 --> 01:23:08,200
Now the fucking AC's terrible, damn white car.

2048
01:23:08,200 --> 01:23:12,440
Well, since we're talking about things that have been happening to you bad, let's go into

2049
01:23:12,440 --> 01:23:18,520
our Reddit series and talk about some Today I Fucked Ups.

2050
01:23:18,520 --> 01:23:20,640
First one we have here today is by JL.

2051
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:23,480
Oh, my whole Today I Fucked Up is like, Today I Fucked Up by waking up.

2052
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:28,600
I know somebody needs to just, I'm sure it's been posted though.

2053
01:23:28,600 --> 01:23:32,400
The first one is by JL Adv, ADV.

2054
01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,600
JL, space, ADV.

2055
01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:38,520
Spurs and puts, I met my now husband about 15 years ago.

2056
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:42,840
I decided that I needed to cook for him a good dinner for him to impress him with my

2057
01:23:42,840 --> 01:23:44,920
grilling skills.

2058
01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:49,120
After perusing several recipes, I decided to make beer can chicken.

2059
01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:52,680
If you don't know what that is, you basically shove a can of beer up the bottom side of

2060
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:57,080
a chicken and use the legs and beer can on a tripod to keep the chicken stable on the

2061
01:23:57,080 --> 01:23:58,080
grill.

2062
01:23:58,080 --> 01:23:59,080
Cool.

2063
01:23:59,080 --> 01:24:01,680
Because it basically cooks it in extra heat.

2064
01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:06,440
I made a great rub and coated the chicken in a little olive oil and all the good spices.

2065
01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:08,600
I was so excited for dinner.

2066
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:15,200
Now the thing is with beer can chicken, it's a set it and forget it kind of meal.

2067
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:18,920
You're not supposed to take the lid off of the grill because it loses too much heat.

2068
01:24:18,920 --> 01:24:19,920
Okay.

2069
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,400
So things were going well.

2070
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:22,400
Chicken is on the grill.

2071
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:23,920
I make some delicious sides.

2072
01:24:23,920 --> 01:24:28,400
Now husband comes over and I tell him I have great plans for us tonight.

2073
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:29,400
Chicken should be ready.

2074
01:24:29,400 --> 01:24:32,960
I walk outside, take the top off of the grill and the chicken is crispy.

2075
01:24:32,960 --> 01:24:33,960
Good to go.

2076
01:24:33,960 --> 01:24:35,920
I go inside, grab a platter.

2077
01:24:35,920 --> 01:24:36,920
He follows me out.

2078
01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:38,640
I take the top off the grill.

2079
01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:42,280
Whenever I let it, when I tell you that chicken burst into flames.

2080
01:24:42,280 --> 01:24:45,400
Like it was ascending to hell.

2081
01:24:45,400 --> 01:24:46,480
God dang.

2082
01:24:46,480 --> 01:24:48,080
I am not kidding.

2083
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:50,320
Now husband practically dies laughing.

2084
01:24:50,320 --> 01:24:52,440
I practically die of embarrassment.

2085
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:53,440
We ended up ordering pizza.

2086
01:24:53,440 --> 01:24:54,440
Man.

2087
01:24:54,440 --> 01:24:55,440
That bitch lit.

2088
01:24:55,440 --> 01:24:57,200
Why did it catch on fire?

2089
01:24:57,200 --> 01:25:01,360
Because it was so hot when you take it off it allows extra air to come into the grill

2090
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:03,840
and with all the fat dripping down just boom.

2091
01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:04,840
Jesus.

2092
01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:11,480
And on top of that the title is today I fucked up by not understanding what indirect heat

2093
01:25:11,480 --> 01:25:12,480
meant.

2094
01:25:12,480 --> 01:25:16,320
So it left it directly over the flames the entire time.

2095
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:18,760
Damn.

2096
01:25:18,760 --> 01:25:20,720
Next one is by hot vaseline.

2097
01:25:20,720 --> 01:25:26,440
Yesterday my family and I stopped at a high end semi famous bakery.

2098
01:25:26,440 --> 01:25:28,080
I got my favorite thing there.

2099
01:25:28,080 --> 01:25:36,800
A huge almond croissant or croissant as these French people like to say.

2100
01:25:36,800 --> 01:25:39,680
So good that it will stop your heart.

2101
01:25:39,680 --> 01:25:42,960
My favorite part is the almond extract infused whipped cream.

2102
01:25:42,960 --> 01:25:46,400
I ate half last night then half for breakfast today.

2103
01:25:46,400 --> 01:25:49,400
After I finished I noticed a white and puffy glob on my leg.

2104
01:25:49,400 --> 01:25:52,960
I wasn't about to let any of that fabulous whipped cream go to waste.

2105
01:25:52,960 --> 01:25:55,640
So I popped it in my mouth immediately.

2106
01:25:55,640 --> 01:25:59,480
On a sad related note I'm being treated for a bacterial vaginitis.

2107
01:25:59,480 --> 01:26:00,480
Jesus.

2108
01:26:00,480 --> 01:26:05,240
It involves inserting a clear gel every night which apparently oxidizes white.

2109
01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:08,400
I spent the next five minutes crying and rinsing out my mouth.

2110
01:26:08,400 --> 01:26:11,080
It did not taste like almond extract.

2111
01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:14,080
It was the medicine.

2112
01:26:14,080 --> 01:26:15,960
Jesus.

2113
01:26:15,960 --> 01:26:20,000
The person the first comment is Jesus Christ what a day to be literate.

2114
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:23,000
I don't know what vaginitis is.

2115
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:27,560
Just reading something random is like oh lord.

2116
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:29,640
Next one is by Chloe Fairy Dust.

2117
01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:31,520
This person puts.

2118
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:36,000
So I recently decided to surprise my boyfriend by cooking a fancy romantic dinner.

2119
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:40,240
I'm not exactly a master chef but I figured I could handle a nice steak with some fancy

2120
01:26:40,240 --> 01:26:41,240
sides.

2121
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:44,120
I found a recipe online that included a red wine reduction sauce.

2122
01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:47,920
It looks simple enough so I thought why not.

2123
01:26:47,920 --> 01:26:50,080
Everything was going well until I got to the sauce.

2124
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:53,320
I'm not much of a wine drinker so I didn't realize the bottle I grabbed from the back

2125
01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:56,480
of the cabinet had been opened for well months.

2126
01:26:56,480 --> 01:27:00,600
I poured it into the pan finished up the meal and proudly served it to my boyfriend.

2127
01:27:00,600 --> 01:27:05,520
He took one bite made a weird face and asked if the sauce was supposed to taste like that.

2128
01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:08,600
I tasted it and nearly gagged.

2129
01:27:08,600 --> 01:27:10,320
It was awful.

2130
01:27:10,320 --> 01:27:15,120
That's whenever I realized the wine was way past its prime and had turned into vinegar.

2131
01:27:15,120 --> 01:27:17,920
I might as well have poured battery acid on the steak.

2132
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:22,840
We ended up ordering pizza instead and now he lovingly teases me about my fancy cooking

2133
01:27:22,840 --> 01:27:24,320
skills.

2134
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:28,480
So the first one fucked up a beer can chicken and then this one fucked up.

2135
01:27:28,480 --> 01:27:29,480
Damn.

2136
01:27:29,480 --> 01:27:32,320
All these girls trying to cook and they can't.

2137
01:27:32,320 --> 01:27:36,480
I once thought it'd be a good idea to fucking cook a salmon right.

2138
01:27:36,480 --> 01:27:37,760
Over the sew top.

2139
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:38,760
Right.

2140
01:27:38,760 --> 01:27:40,760
And just pour lemon juice all over it.

2141
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:41,760
Oh.

2142
01:27:41,760 --> 01:27:42,760
Yeah you can already tell.

2143
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:43,760
I was.

2144
01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:44,760
Shella sour.

2145
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:45,760
It's like good lord.

2146
01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:48,160
Who's supposed to put lemon on the end.

2147
01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:51,160
Not wild as a man.

2148
01:27:51,160 --> 01:27:54,800
I was like.

2149
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,040
Next one is by Hot Honey.

2150
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:58,040
H-A-U-T-E.

2151
01:27:58,040 --> 01:27:59,040
Hot.

2152
01:27:59,040 --> 01:28:00,040
Oh God.

2153
01:28:00,040 --> 01:28:01,040
This person puts.

2154
01:28:01,040 --> 01:28:08,960
I a 24 a 23 year old female have IBS have had tummy issues and G-E-R-D since I was nine

2155
01:28:08,960 --> 01:28:09,960
years old.

2156
01:28:09,960 --> 01:28:13,560
Currently writing this on the toilet and a hot liquid pain.

2157
01:28:13,560 --> 01:28:19,040
Nowadays if I take my medication on all I have to deal with is a few days of constipation

2158
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:20,280
once a month.

2159
01:28:20,280 --> 01:28:24,720
Trigger foods change randomly so I eat what I want whatever I want and usually only have

2160
01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:30,040
about a day of constipation if I take my protocol fast enough whenever I notice a lack of bowel

2161
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:31,320
movement.

2162
01:28:31,320 --> 01:28:36,760
My protocol is a half cup of Miralax and a four ounces of prune juice clears me out nice

2163
01:28:36,760 --> 01:28:42,600
and easy but this time oh this time I was backed up today noticed it took a half cap

2164
01:28:42,600 --> 01:28:45,480
drank my four ounces nothing.

2165
01:28:45,480 --> 01:28:51,680
Frank Frank for more I guess supposed to be drank four more ounces on and on all night

2166
01:28:51,680 --> 01:28:53,160
and it finally hit.

2167
01:28:53,160 --> 01:29:01,240
There's not a solid to be found inside of my colon it's hot shit water and oh it burns

2168
01:29:01,240 --> 01:29:06,760
I'm on hour one of sitting on the toilet expelling my insides I may pass away here do not do

2169
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:10,040
what I did give laxatives time to work and it will.

2170
01:29:10,040 --> 01:29:11,040
Godspeed friends.

2171
01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:16,120
She fucked up pretty bad you know mix Miralax and prune juice.

2172
01:29:16,120 --> 01:29:19,920
What was that fucking Sunday after we hung out with that shit.

2173
01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:25,200
Fucking four what did I say four times on Sunday and three times on Monday yeah like

2174
01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:30,560
I ate an orange at 9 a.m. Sunday and I shit that out at 1130.

2175
01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:33,800
Like it was still a whole I've been shit on a whole orange.

2176
01:29:33,800 --> 01:29:37,800
Like I don't know what happened that Saturday we hung out but I was fucking that pizza from

2177
01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:41,440
the flakes must have tore me over his honor what the fuck happened.

2178
01:29:41,440 --> 01:29:45,200
I'll never forget that never because I can drink us all these little bits.

2179
01:29:45,200 --> 01:29:46,200
I'm thirsty.

2180
01:29:46,200 --> 01:29:48,720
Something must have been wrong.

2181
01:29:48,720 --> 01:29:51,680
I know it was that stuff that you ate that sat out.

2182
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:55,480
Yeah the chicken wrap that we call chicken wrap.

2183
01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:56,480
Exactly.

2184
01:29:56,480 --> 01:29:57,480
And the two week old tuna.

2185
01:29:57,480 --> 01:30:00,480
Fucked you well.

2186
01:30:00,480 --> 01:30:01,920
Yeah.

2187
01:30:01,920 --> 01:30:05,720
Next one is by specialist mud 511 spurs and puts.

2188
01:30:05,720 --> 01:30:09,880
Today I fucked up but by giving it to peer pressure at work.

2189
01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:14,360
I 25 year old male was at work in the break room whenever I noticed a bag on the table

2190
01:30:14,360 --> 01:30:16,760
with what looked like to be habanero peppers.

2191
01:30:16,760 --> 01:30:20,240
I'm not a pepper enthusiast and I don't know a lot about them.

2192
01:30:20,240 --> 01:30:24,120
My co workers noticed me checking out the bag and told me I should eat one.

2193
01:30:24,120 --> 01:30:27,400
I was hesitant at first but eventually they convinced me to do it.

2194
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:31,720
I've eaten jalapenos before and I didn't think a habanero would be much worse.

2195
01:30:31,720 --> 01:30:33,520
I cautiously took a small bite.

2196
01:30:33,520 --> 01:30:38,360
It was pretty hot but not unbearable so in an attempt to look cool I took a big chunk

2197
01:30:38,360 --> 01:30:39,840
and popped it into my mouth.

2198
01:30:39,840 --> 01:30:43,440
It was hot as I was chewing and as I swallowed I realized I fucked up.

2199
01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:46,840
It started getting hotter and hotter and even hotter.

2200
01:30:46,840 --> 01:30:50,720
My co worker started laughing and said congratulations you just ate a carolina reaper.

2201
01:30:50,720 --> 01:30:52,480
Oh god.

2202
01:30:52,480 --> 01:30:53,760
Suddenly my mouth was on fire.

2203
01:30:53,760 --> 01:30:54,920
I throw burning.

2204
01:30:54,920 --> 01:30:58,800
As the minutes dragged by my stomach began bubbling and I began to desperately look for

2205
01:30:58,800 --> 01:31:00,600
milk or anything to help with the pain.

2206
01:31:00,600 --> 01:31:13,160
Nothing worse than your stomach bubbling and popping.

2207
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:16,240
My co workers started frantically looking for anything to help.

2208
01:31:16,240 --> 01:31:20,200
I can feel tears running down my face but I don't dare to wipe my eyes.

2209
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:25,960
After not finding any milk I end up eating four popsicles and a muffin to ease the pain.

2210
01:31:25,960 --> 01:31:30,240
Just to clarify the hottest thing I have eaten in months was a meatball sub with jalapeno

2211
01:31:30,240 --> 01:31:31,280
on it.

2212
01:31:31,280 --> 01:31:32,880
My body was not ready for this.

2213
01:31:32,880 --> 01:31:37,120
I'm now sitting here on the toilet seven hours later taking what is undoubtedly the most

2214
01:31:37,120 --> 01:31:42,800
painful unholy apocalyptic shit I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

2215
01:31:42,800 --> 01:31:44,120
And to edit.

2216
01:31:44,120 --> 01:31:47,960
Just to clarify I wrongfully assumed it was a habanero.

2217
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,720
They just didn't correct me.

2218
01:31:49,720 --> 01:31:52,360
They didn't trick me into eating it in my opinion.

2219
01:31:52,360 --> 01:31:56,320
I should have been more cautious about what I eat and yes I know it's pure pressure.

2220
01:31:56,320 --> 01:32:00,680
Cause they misspelled pure pressure in the title which they put pure pressure.

2221
01:32:00,680 --> 01:32:01,680
What is it?

2222
01:32:01,680 --> 01:32:02,680
Peer pressure?

2223
01:32:02,680 --> 01:32:03,680
Peer.

2224
01:32:03,680 --> 01:32:04,680
P-E-E-R.

2225
01:32:04,680 --> 01:32:05,680
P-E-E-R?

2226
01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:06,680
Like your peers.

2227
01:32:06,680 --> 01:32:07,680
Oh.

2228
01:32:07,680 --> 01:32:08,680
Isn't it P-E-E-R?

2229
01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:09,680
P-E-E-R.

2230
01:32:09,680 --> 01:32:12,720
That's how it's supposed to be spelled but in the title he put P-U-E-R.

2231
01:32:12,720 --> 01:32:13,720
P-U-R-E.

2232
01:32:13,720 --> 01:32:14,720
Pure.

2233
01:32:14,720 --> 01:32:15,720
Pure pressure.

2234
01:32:15,720 --> 01:32:16,720
It was just pure pressure.

2235
01:32:16,720 --> 01:32:17,720
That's what it felt like anyway.

2236
01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:24,160
It was just pure pressure on my bowels.

2237
01:32:24,160 --> 01:32:28,320
This one is by Thub.

2238
01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:31,880
Today I fucked up by trying to help a stranded motorist with one arm.

2239
01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:41,760
I'm driving home from my lunch break and I see a car on the side of the road with a hood

2240
01:32:41,760 --> 01:32:42,760
up.

2241
01:32:42,760 --> 01:32:46,560
I live in a pretty rural area and I am proud to say we generally look out for each other.

2242
01:32:46,560 --> 01:32:48,320
I pull over and ask what's wrong.

2243
01:32:48,320 --> 01:32:52,080
The woman is in the car said it had just shut off while driving.

2244
01:32:52,080 --> 01:32:58,080
When she gets out I notice that she only has one arm and get to looking over her car.

2245
01:32:58,080 --> 01:33:01,640
I soon notice the wire has rattled loose from the battery terminal.

2246
01:33:01,640 --> 01:33:05,040
I found the missing nut and put it back on and the car fires right up.

2247
01:33:05,040 --> 01:33:07,480
She's super thankful and we chat for just a couple of minutes.

2248
01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:12,040
She offers money and I declined and inadvertently say something along the lines of you look

2249
01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:16,760
like you'd use a hand so I just wanted to help out.

2250
01:33:16,760 --> 01:33:21,800
I registered as soon as I said it.

2251
01:33:21,800 --> 01:33:25,960
I tried to fumble an apology and she's missing an arm.

2252
01:33:25,960 --> 01:33:29,480
She tried to brush it off and act like it didn't bother her but I could tell it did.

2253
01:33:29,480 --> 01:33:33,040
I feel so stupid.

2254
01:33:33,040 --> 01:33:34,040
She's all sad now.

2255
01:33:34,040 --> 01:33:36,480
How did she drive with one arm?

2256
01:33:36,480 --> 01:33:39,040
She was driving with one arm.

2257
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:40,040
You could.

2258
01:33:40,040 --> 01:33:41,040
I guess.

2259
01:33:41,040 --> 01:33:45,240
I feel the safety of my second one just in case.

2260
01:33:45,240 --> 01:33:48,200
I drive with one hand all the time so that's fine.

2261
01:33:48,200 --> 01:33:52,080
As long as you're holding the steering wheel fine.

2262
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:55,600
I could never drive it ten in two.

2263
01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:56,600
That's what it's ten in two.

2264
01:33:56,600 --> 01:33:59,760
It's always like you drive with one hand and you've got to do a sharp turn like I'm going

2265
01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:00,760
to use two.

2266
01:34:00,760 --> 01:34:02,760
Yeah, whatever you've got power steering.

2267
01:34:02,760 --> 01:34:06,820
But man, I've never had power steering so you know you've got to fight every damn four

2268
01:34:06,820 --> 01:34:09,920
arms like a fucking the Hulk.

2269
01:34:09,920 --> 01:34:11,400
That Mini Cooper is the fucking hardest.

2270
01:34:11,400 --> 01:34:15,400
I'm trying on a god dang Titanic.

2271
01:34:15,400 --> 01:34:20,600
Next one is by Oh Wonder.

2272
01:34:20,600 --> 01:34:25,200
So I usually do a few leg stretches before weightlifting and at the end I always do the

2273
01:34:25,200 --> 01:34:26,680
splits.

2274
01:34:26,680 --> 01:34:29,240
Once with the right and once with the left.

2275
01:34:29,240 --> 01:34:31,800
I guess like stretch out.

2276
01:34:31,800 --> 01:34:34,400
Today the right went completely fine.

2277
01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:40,080
When I went to do the left as soon as I got low as comfortable as low as comfortable my

2278
01:34:40,080 --> 01:34:42,200
entire leg snapped crap will popped.

2279
01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:43,720
Yeah, that must hurt.

2280
01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:46,520
I'm not even kidding from my toes to my hip.

2281
01:34:46,520 --> 01:34:47,520
The entire thing adjusted.

2282
01:34:47,520 --> 01:34:50,700
It was like cracking your bag but times 100.

2283
01:34:50,700 --> 01:34:51,700
The sound was so loud.

2284
01:34:51,700 --> 01:34:54,360
I heard it clearly even though where I'm wearing earbuds.

2285
01:34:54,360 --> 01:35:00,180
Damn, it's I'm still in the splits mind you watching with watching this happen.

2286
01:35:00,180 --> 01:35:04,240
My leg completely spazzes out with all sorts of directions.

2287
01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:07,440
I was able to slightly lean and get the other leg back in front of me.

2288
01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:09,480
But the feeling of my hip is so weird now.

2289
01:35:09,480 --> 01:35:12,600
Initially I felt okay and the cracking did release some pressure.

2290
01:35:12,600 --> 01:35:17,240
But now I can't even touch my toes without feeling uncomfortable or pain.

2291
01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:18,520
This did actually happen today.

2292
01:35:18,520 --> 01:35:21,120
So maybe some sleep and swimming tomorrow will help.

2293
01:35:21,120 --> 01:35:25,840
Part of me thinks it's just my body getting used to the adjustment or at least I'm hoping

2294
01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:27,480
it's not getting anything worse.

2295
01:35:27,480 --> 01:35:30,240
She is by who doing the splits though.

2296
01:35:30,240 --> 01:35:31,840
Oh, it's a crack.

2297
01:35:31,840 --> 01:35:33,920
So I couldn't I couldn't even pretend this blitz.

2298
01:35:33,920 --> 01:35:35,720
I couldn't even think about doing this.

2299
01:35:35,720 --> 01:35:38,400
This is fucking everything in my head.

2300
01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:39,400
I can't even think of it.

2301
01:35:39,400 --> 01:35:42,000
You can't even picture yourself doing it.

2302
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:45,960
I'm boss I just ripped in half thinking about it.

2303
01:35:45,960 --> 01:35:49,120
Next one is by bellic4862.

2304
01:35:49,120 --> 01:35:51,040
This person puts.

2305
01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:55,760
So I normally don't drink milk as I'm mildly ever so slightly lactose intolerant.

2306
01:35:55,760 --> 01:36:00,240
However I do indulge sometimes in some strawberry milk.

2307
01:36:00,240 --> 01:36:05,920
Well instead of getting a small bottle I decided it'd be cheaper to get a half gallon of milk

2308
01:36:05,920 --> 01:36:08,760
and buy the syrup separately.

2309
01:36:08,760 --> 01:36:14,040
It sounds weird to me because he said like he's lactose intolerant right.

2310
01:36:14,040 --> 01:36:16,480
So I wouldn't even have the temptation of having milk in my house.

2311
01:36:16,480 --> 01:36:19,400
But he's like I'm gonna buy the whole day and some syrup.

2312
01:36:19,400 --> 01:36:22,400
I mean it's regularly drinks.

2313
01:36:22,400 --> 01:36:26,440
This is their end is the fuck up.

2314
01:36:26,440 --> 01:36:29,080
I made the milk and I realized it was really good.

2315
01:36:29,080 --> 01:36:32,000
So I ended up chugging a half gallon in 10 minutes last night.

2316
01:36:32,000 --> 01:36:33,760
I have God dang.

2317
01:36:33,760 --> 01:36:37,360
I wake up this morning and I have not been able to stop the onslaught of noxious gases

2318
01:36:37,360 --> 01:36:39,240
coming out of my back end.

2319
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,320
And I mean they are rank.

2320
01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:45,880
The unfortunate part is I am currently in a homeless shelter and my bunkmates next to

2321
01:36:45,880 --> 01:36:49,640
me are getting the full force of it.

2322
01:36:49,640 --> 01:36:56,400
The next day the room is just dead.

2323
01:36:56,400 --> 01:36:57,400
Got a bio.

2324
01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:59,680
They got to recording off the whole fucking session.

2325
01:36:59,680 --> 01:37:02,960
The hazmat suits have to come in to remove the body.

2326
01:37:02,960 --> 01:37:05,360
It just killed the whole bottle.

2327
01:37:05,360 --> 01:37:07,480
Like imagine they didn't have enough beds.

2328
01:37:07,480 --> 01:37:09,160
They got to be like two little beds.

2329
01:37:09,160 --> 01:37:10,960
They sleep like foot to face.

2330
01:37:10,960 --> 01:37:12,560
So he's just fucking falling.

2331
01:37:12,560 --> 01:37:15,640
And it's just going into his sleep.

2332
01:37:15,640 --> 01:37:19,480
It's like sleeping in the carbon monoxide and you just fucking die in your sleep.

2333
01:37:19,480 --> 01:37:21,480
Only you two smell this.

2334
01:37:21,480 --> 01:37:24,080
Carbon monoxide at least.

2335
01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:25,760
He just dies in his sleep.

2336
01:37:25,760 --> 01:37:29,120
He dreams about drowning in a fucking landfill.

2337
01:37:29,120 --> 01:37:34,840
He dreams about dying the way that happened in medieval times.

2338
01:37:34,840 --> 01:37:35,840
The Earphers.

2339
01:37:35,840 --> 01:37:39,720
Or he fucking would be in a World War I with the mustard gas.

2340
01:37:39,720 --> 01:37:41,600
He just fucking dies in battle.

2341
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:43,680
And he's just throwing up in his own sleep.

2342
01:37:43,680 --> 01:37:44,680
That's how he dies.

2343
01:37:44,680 --> 01:37:49,400
He doesn't die from like the fumes from throwing up in his own bowel.

2344
01:37:49,400 --> 01:37:50,400
He sees Hitler in the distance.

2345
01:37:50,400 --> 01:37:51,400
He about to take a shot.

2346
01:37:51,400 --> 01:37:52,400
And he misses.

2347
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:53,400
Like he dies.

2348
01:37:53,400 --> 01:37:57,000
So if I can kill Hitler I can stop World War II.

2349
01:37:57,000 --> 01:37:59,000
That's so fucked up.

2350
01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:00,880
You ever heard about that legend?

2351
01:38:00,880 --> 01:38:01,880
Which one?

2352
01:38:01,880 --> 01:38:05,080
Hitler had Adolf Hitler in his sights during World War I.

2353
01:38:05,080 --> 01:38:06,640
And he just decided not to shoot him.

2354
01:38:06,640 --> 01:38:07,640
Really?

2355
01:38:07,640 --> 01:38:08,640
Yeah.

2356
01:38:08,640 --> 01:38:09,640
I've never heard that.

2357
01:38:09,640 --> 01:38:12,760
That one guy fucked this all up.

2358
01:38:12,760 --> 01:38:13,760
Pretty much, yeah.

2359
01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:14,760
Or maybe he didn't.

2360
01:38:14,760 --> 01:38:17,320
Maybe he made America number one because of World War II.

2361
01:38:17,320 --> 01:38:18,320
It's true.

2362
01:38:18,320 --> 01:38:21,680
But he just, he had him in the sights.

2363
01:38:21,680 --> 01:38:24,120
You know, Allies versus Axis.

2364
01:38:24,120 --> 01:38:26,720
They weren't the Axis then but they were still Germany.

2365
01:38:26,720 --> 01:38:27,960
Had a fucking 19 year old.

2366
01:38:27,960 --> 01:38:29,480
I don't know how old he was.

2367
01:38:29,480 --> 01:38:33,280
But it was like, you know, young Adolf Hitler, young enough to be recruited.

2368
01:38:33,280 --> 01:38:35,720
And he just fucking put his gun down.

2369
01:38:35,720 --> 01:38:39,200
And Hitler was looking right back at him.

2370
01:38:39,200 --> 01:38:41,920
Just streaming out Nazi stuff.

2371
01:38:41,920 --> 01:38:44,480
Which led to us dropping two sons on Japan.

2372
01:38:44,480 --> 01:38:47,280
Man, wild shit.

2373
01:38:47,280 --> 01:38:50,520
The same thing with that fucking wrong turn.

2374
01:38:50,520 --> 01:38:53,400
That archbishop that took a wrong turn and got shot.

2375
01:38:53,400 --> 01:38:54,880
Oh yeah, I remember you saying that.

2376
01:38:54,880 --> 01:38:55,880
Yeah.

2377
01:38:55,880 --> 01:38:56,880
Just a random shit.

2378
01:38:56,880 --> 01:38:57,880
You never know, it's weird.

2379
01:38:57,880 --> 01:38:58,880
Yeah.

2380
01:38:58,880 --> 01:38:59,880
Real life is weird sometimes.

2381
01:38:59,880 --> 01:39:00,880
Maybe we are in a simulation.

2382
01:39:00,880 --> 01:39:03,560
Only that shit would work in a fucking movie.

2383
01:39:03,560 --> 01:39:08,000
No, it'd be too, like if you seen that in a movie, it's like, that's fucking the corny

2384
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:09,000
shit.

2385
01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:11,000
That's the corny shit I've ever seen.

2386
01:39:11,000 --> 01:39:12,000
Yep.

2387
01:39:12,000 --> 01:39:14,320
Next one is by Zorg, Zorg Galacticus.

2388
01:39:14,320 --> 01:39:17,840
This person puts, my friend and I have this weird tradition.

2389
01:39:17,840 --> 01:39:19,640
Is it Zorg the guy from Parinch?

2390
01:39:19,640 --> 01:39:21,640
Or is it Zordon?

2391
01:39:21,640 --> 01:39:22,640
Zordon, okay.

2392
01:39:22,640 --> 01:39:23,640
Yeah.

2393
01:39:23,640 --> 01:39:27,360
How, how fucking, uh, Brian Cranston?

2394
01:39:27,360 --> 01:39:28,800
In the movie was Brian Cranston?

2395
01:39:28,800 --> 01:39:29,800
Yeah.

2396
01:39:29,800 --> 01:39:31,840
He didn't fit the character very well.

2397
01:39:31,840 --> 01:39:32,840
At all.

2398
01:39:32,840 --> 01:39:36,840
I mean, like I understand why because he was in, wasn't he one of the first episodes, like

2399
01:39:36,840 --> 01:39:37,840
his voice?

2400
01:39:37,840 --> 01:39:38,840
Yes.

2401
01:39:38,840 --> 01:39:39,840
Was one of the bad guys?

2402
01:39:39,840 --> 01:39:40,840
Yes.

2403
01:39:40,840 --> 01:39:41,840
Right.

2404
01:39:41,840 --> 01:39:44,240
So he did a lot of the, well, he did a bunch of the Power Ranger villains and stuff.

2405
01:39:44,240 --> 01:39:45,240
Did he?

2406
01:39:45,240 --> 01:39:46,240
Yeah.

2407
01:39:46,240 --> 01:39:47,240
It wasn't just one, he did it a few times.

2408
01:39:47,240 --> 01:39:49,440
And they're like, well now he's fucking Walter White, might as well.

2409
01:39:49,440 --> 01:39:50,440
Yeah.

2410
01:39:50,440 --> 01:39:52,640
They take that publicity and add it to their movie.

2411
01:39:52,640 --> 01:39:53,640
Right, to the movie.

2412
01:39:53,640 --> 01:39:56,200
But that Megazord sucked though.

2413
01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:57,200
Horrible looking.

2414
01:39:57,200 --> 01:40:00,240
And even Goldar, it's like dang Goldar.

2415
01:40:00,240 --> 01:40:02,040
Uh, all right.

2416
01:40:02,040 --> 01:40:06,440
Uh, it says, my friend and I have a weird tradition where we will, uh, when we spot

2417
01:40:06,440 --> 01:40:09,600
each other in the store or somewhere, we'll yell moo.

2418
01:40:09,600 --> 01:40:10,600
Okay.

2419
01:40:10,600 --> 01:40:12,160
Like a cow.

2420
01:40:12,160 --> 01:40:14,920
We both know how to make realistic cow sounds.

2421
01:40:14,920 --> 01:40:19,080
And it's hilarious seeing the looks of people's faces when we do this.

2422
01:40:19,080 --> 01:40:21,200
He's got a job at Sonic.

2423
01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:22,200
Didn't tell me yet.

2424
01:40:22,200 --> 01:40:25,100
I look up and see my friend on the microphone.

2425
01:40:25,100 --> 01:40:27,840
So I pushed the button and moo at him.

2426
01:40:27,840 --> 01:40:33,240
We were sitting on the booth right next to rather than this rather large woman with the

2427
01:40:33,240 --> 01:40:39,080
tallest ice cream cone I've ever seen.

2428
01:40:39,080 --> 01:40:41,560
She was really going down on that truck.

2429
01:40:41,560 --> 01:40:48,040
Then I hear moo coming from the speakers next to me.

2430
01:40:48,040 --> 01:40:51,560
He belts out a couple more moves before I can push the button and tell him he's got

2431
01:40:51,560 --> 01:40:52,560
the wrong booth.

2432
01:40:52,560 --> 01:40:53,560
Damn.

2433
01:40:53,560 --> 01:40:59,800
He had allowed, he had been loudly mooing at the fat lady with the gigantic ice cream

2434
01:40:59,800 --> 01:41:02,240
cone.

2435
01:41:02,240 --> 01:41:03,240
She was furious.

2436
01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:04,520
He got fired.

2437
01:41:04,520 --> 01:41:06,160
She demanded to speak to the manager.

2438
01:41:06,160 --> 01:41:11,080
So I am the manager, ma'am, man.

2439
01:41:11,080 --> 01:41:16,280
He came out and with tears in his, tears in his eyes.

2440
01:41:16,280 --> 01:41:18,700
He came out and with tears in her eyes.

2441
01:41:18,700 --> 01:41:24,240
She shouted, he's making fun of me because I'm fat, mean ice cream.

2442
01:41:24,240 --> 01:41:26,520
Needless to say, my friend no longer works at Sonic.

2443
01:41:26,520 --> 01:41:28,520
I bet he doesn't.

2444
01:41:28,520 --> 01:41:30,200
Moo, bitch.

2445
01:41:30,200 --> 01:41:31,200
Banna sucks.

2446
01:41:31,200 --> 01:41:34,240
That's so fucked up.

2447
01:41:34,240 --> 01:41:36,040
I mean, I'd never talk to my friend again.

2448
01:41:36,040 --> 01:41:38,040
Yeah, yeah, fuck you, bro.

2449
01:41:38,040 --> 01:41:41,920
But apparently, imagine doing that like just anywhere though to each other.

2450
01:41:41,920 --> 01:41:42,920
Right.

2451
01:41:42,920 --> 01:41:45,280
They've probably gotten each other fired from like this.

2452
01:41:45,280 --> 01:41:46,280
They're at their funeral.

2453
01:41:46,280 --> 01:41:47,280
He's like, man.

2454
01:41:47,280 --> 01:41:48,280
Moo.

2455
01:41:48,280 --> 01:41:49,280
Moo, bitch.

2456
01:41:49,280 --> 01:41:50,280
All right.

2457
01:41:50,280 --> 01:41:55,760
And the last one for tonight is by choice swimming 6-8-6-5.

2458
01:41:55,760 --> 01:41:56,760
Choice swimming.

2459
01:41:56,760 --> 01:41:59,680
So this person puts.

2460
01:41:59,680 --> 01:42:00,680
Guess it finally happened.

2461
01:42:00,680 --> 01:42:02,680
I lost my virginity.

2462
01:42:02,680 --> 01:42:05,920
Today is the day I couldn't hold in my shit.

2463
01:42:05,920 --> 01:42:08,000
What day do you always hold?

2464
01:42:08,000 --> 01:42:11,640
Wait, so from that context, he means like he's been trying to hold in this shit his

2465
01:42:11,640 --> 01:42:12,640
whole life.

2466
01:42:12,640 --> 01:42:17,460
And he just finally, finally came all out in one go.

2467
01:42:17,460 --> 01:42:21,480
Just for context, I have IBS and I am recently recovering from COVID.

2468
01:42:21,480 --> 01:42:25,280
COVID has been giving me diarrhea and I still haven't been able to keep any food in for

2469
01:42:25,280 --> 01:42:26,280
the past week.

2470
01:42:26,280 --> 01:42:29,760
Well, it's Friday and I felt like treating myself after work.

2471
01:42:29,760 --> 01:42:35,200
So my boyfriend and I decided to go to this Thai place for dinner and in hindsight, thought

2472
01:42:35,200 --> 01:42:37,800
it was a great idea to order spicy green curry.

2473
01:42:37,800 --> 01:42:40,040
Why is it always a story like that?

2474
01:42:40,040 --> 01:42:41,040
I just said fuck it.

2475
01:42:41,040 --> 01:42:44,140
Let me eat some fucking lava.

2476
01:42:44,140 --> 01:42:46,240
It's always the same fucking thing.

2477
01:42:46,240 --> 01:42:49,600
Well, it's like a common stroke at this point.

2478
01:42:49,600 --> 01:42:53,040
I ate a piece of the sun and all of a sudden I couldn't stop shitting.

2479
01:42:53,040 --> 01:42:56,640
If you see enough of those.

2480
01:42:56,640 --> 01:42:57,640
Maybe it's still like that.

2481
01:42:57,640 --> 01:43:01,920
They get so tired of because it's constantly having to, you know, like nitpick their diet.

2482
01:43:01,920 --> 01:43:04,720
They're just like fucking and then fucking I'm going to eat it and then just fucking

2483
01:43:04,720 --> 01:43:07,360
ruin their whole fucking week.

2484
01:43:07,360 --> 01:43:10,840
After we finished dinner, we drove to the mall to do some shopping.

2485
01:43:10,840 --> 01:43:13,040
Once we got to the mall, my stomach started to hurt.

2486
01:43:13,040 --> 01:43:14,760
It started hurting on and off.

2487
01:43:14,760 --> 01:43:19,160
So I tried to look for the washrooms, but since the mall was undergoing renovations,

2488
01:43:19,160 --> 01:43:23,720
which I did not know about because I haven't gone to this mall in a long time, they only

2489
01:43:23,720 --> 01:43:25,640
had porta potties in parking lot.

2490
01:43:25,640 --> 01:43:26,640
Porta potties?

2491
01:43:26,640 --> 01:43:32,880
Since I didn't really want to use the porta potties, I had I thought I could just hold

2492
01:43:32,880 --> 01:43:36,480
it until I get home like I've done many times before.

2493
01:43:36,480 --> 01:43:37,480
That sucks.

2494
01:43:37,480 --> 01:43:41,600
Well, looking back, I should have just used the porta potties since our drive home took

2495
01:43:41,600 --> 01:43:44,000
about 35 minutes due to traffic.

2496
01:43:44,000 --> 01:43:49,200
On our way home, I really couldn't hold it anymore and just let it all go while apologizing

2497
01:43:49,200 --> 01:43:51,800
profusely since it's my boyfriend's car.

2498
01:43:51,800 --> 01:43:53,280
And it all came out.

2499
01:43:53,280 --> 01:43:54,280
Is that the song?

2500
01:43:54,280 --> 01:43:55,280
It all came down.

2501
01:43:55,280 --> 01:43:56,280
It all came down.

2502
01:43:56,280 --> 01:43:57,280
It all came down.

2503
01:43:57,280 --> 01:43:58,280
It all came down.

2504
01:43:58,280 --> 01:44:07,760
That's the song playing as she's fucking shitting herself.

2505
01:44:07,760 --> 01:44:14,040
So I had to sit in my pile of diarrhea for 20 minutes while stinking up my boyfriend's

2506
01:44:14,040 --> 01:44:15,040
car.

2507
01:44:15,040 --> 01:44:19,120
I want to know like what kind of...

2508
01:44:19,120 --> 01:44:23,760
Once we got home, boyfriend was very understanding and helped me get the plastic bags and extra

2509
01:44:23,760 --> 01:44:28,200
clothes so that I didn't have to drip diarrhea everywhere on my way into the house.

2510
01:44:28,200 --> 01:44:33,720
I then bagged and threw away my soiled clothes, took and cleaned the leather car seat covers,

2511
01:44:33,720 --> 01:44:39,160
took a shower and called it a day.

2512
01:44:39,160 --> 01:44:46,000
Now really hoping the car doesn't stink tomorrow, but damn, that was not a fun experience.

2513
01:44:46,000 --> 01:44:49,560
First comment, I have a few pantshitting stories I can share.

2514
01:44:49,560 --> 01:44:55,080
Shitting his britches like it's going out of style.

2515
01:44:55,080 --> 01:44:59,280
The comment is, whenever I was a kid, my father liked to gamble on the horses.

2516
01:44:59,280 --> 01:45:04,340
In New York, they had off track betting, facilities where you could go and bet on a horse.

2517
01:45:04,340 --> 01:45:07,720
He was supposed to be taking me and my two brothers from the grandfather's house to my

2518
01:45:07,720 --> 01:45:14,360
uncle's house a few blocks away, but the betting was on the way and being a horse race gambling

2519
01:45:14,360 --> 01:45:19,360
addict, he couldn't help but stop.

2520
01:45:19,360 --> 01:45:24,400
He led us in the car.

2521
01:45:24,400 --> 01:45:27,900
I was probably six and my brothers would have been four or three.

2522
01:45:27,900 --> 01:45:29,700
He said he'd be there in a minute.

2523
01:45:29,700 --> 01:45:33,480
Probably 30 minutes later, I felt the turn of the building.

2524
01:45:33,480 --> 01:45:38,400
I managed to fend off a dozen or so heaves, but they were getting stronger and more frequent.

2525
01:45:38,400 --> 01:45:41,360
I imagine his ass like, hold this fucking line.

2526
01:45:41,360 --> 01:45:45,600
He puckered his motherfucker.

2527
01:45:45,600 --> 01:45:47,800
Hold this motherfucking line.

2528
01:45:47,800 --> 01:45:50,640
Finally I couldn't hold it back any longer and I shit my pajamas.

2529
01:45:50,640 --> 01:45:55,840
I was watching this movie last night with John Cena called Jackpot on Prime, where in

2530
01:45:55,840 --> 01:46:01,400
California because of the recession, the year is now 2030, so in 2026 they made this lottery

2531
01:46:01,400 --> 01:46:12,280
that if you win the lottery, you are now legally immune or like, what's the word, legally,

2532
01:46:12,280 --> 01:46:17,440
I can't speak the right word for it, but you are now no longer protected under the government

2533
01:46:17,440 --> 01:46:19,320
or any type of law.

2534
01:46:19,320 --> 01:46:24,520
If anyone tries to kill you within that day that you won the lottery, they have until

2535
01:46:24,520 --> 01:46:26,120
sundown.

2536
01:46:26,120 --> 01:46:31,000
They get that lottery.

2537
01:46:31,000 --> 01:46:32,000
You have to survive.

2538
01:46:32,000 --> 01:46:38,040
If you get a little chip card and you put your thumb on it and you're now eligible for

2539
01:46:38,040 --> 01:46:46,680
the lottery, and the main character, Awkwafina, the actress, she just went from Michigan to

2540
01:46:46,680 --> 01:46:51,480
California because her mom just recently died and she wanted to go back into acting.

2541
01:46:51,480 --> 01:46:54,440
She used to be a child star.

2542
01:46:54,440 --> 01:47:00,320
She's doing an audition and the woman, her Airbnb host lent her some clothes and one

2543
01:47:00,320 --> 01:47:05,180
of her cards was in there and she accidentally put the thumb in print so now she was registered

2544
01:47:05,180 --> 01:47:06,480
into the lottery.

2545
01:47:06,480 --> 01:47:08,360
She won, everyone starts trying to kill her.

2546
01:47:08,360 --> 01:47:12,840
John Cena decides to help her because he's like a lottery protection agent.

2547
01:47:12,840 --> 01:47:19,280
He gets 10% of her $3.6 billion jackpot and he protects her for the whole day.

2548
01:47:19,280 --> 01:47:23,200
At one point, he needs help from a higher, like a bigger company because he can't protect

2549
01:47:23,200 --> 01:47:29,200
her and they realize that the company's like, they secretly kill the contestants and take

2550
01:47:29,200 --> 01:47:35,200
the money and they realize that so they're whispering to each other and at one point,

2551
01:47:35,200 --> 01:47:45,640
the guy that plays them is the guy that played Chang Li or Chang Shi, the 10 Rings guy.

2552
01:47:45,640 --> 01:47:48,680
They were both in the movie together, Awkwafina and-

2553
01:47:48,680 --> 01:47:50,640
Yeah, they were, weren't they?

2554
01:47:50,640 --> 01:47:57,480
He's like the bad guy in this movie and she tells him, because his name is Luis, it tells

2555
01:47:57,480 --> 01:48:03,760
him that, oh, I'm sorry, John Cena, he just sharted and the guy just like, I forgot the

2556
01:48:03,760 --> 01:48:07,280
guy's character, I forgot John Cena's name in the movie, but he's like, just fucking

2557
01:48:07,280 --> 01:48:09,320
clutch your butt cheeks, what the fuck's wrong with you?

2558
01:48:09,320 --> 01:48:12,680
Clutch your ass cheeks, be a man.

2559
01:48:12,680 --> 01:48:14,000
Be a man, clutch your cheeks.

2560
01:48:14,000 --> 01:48:18,560
Because apparently him and John Cena and Luis used to be mercenaries and John Cena left

2561
01:48:18,560 --> 01:48:23,240
the team because he couldn't do all these horrible crimes, they were basically doing

2562
01:48:23,240 --> 01:48:29,760
crimes like war crimes and he couldn't, now he was trying to pay it forward by helping

2563
01:48:29,760 --> 01:48:34,520
as many people as he could and so he needed that money from helping the lottery people

2564
01:48:34,520 --> 01:48:39,160
and so when they, they're old fucking rivals because they used to be teammates, now they're

2565
01:48:39,160 --> 01:48:42,560
rivals, so the way they talk to each other, they've known each other for years, just fucking

2566
01:48:42,560 --> 01:48:48,720
clutch your butt cheeks shut, Jesus Christ man, just like, clutch your butt cheeks shut,

2567
01:48:48,720 --> 01:48:52,280
because he sharted himself, clutch your butt cheeks shut, I've never heard that.

2568
01:48:52,280 --> 01:48:53,840
I've never heard that before.

2569
01:48:53,840 --> 01:48:54,840
Clutch your butt cheeks shut.

2570
01:48:54,840 --> 01:49:01,120
Imagine trying to do that, where he's like, oh.

2571
01:49:01,120 --> 01:49:02,800
You know what only works when you have to shit?

2572
01:49:02,800 --> 01:49:03,800
Yeah.

2573
01:49:03,800 --> 01:49:06,640
Like if you try to clutch them now, they wouldn't feel right, but when you got to shit, you

2574
01:49:06,640 --> 01:49:08,760
feel them clenching in.

2575
01:49:08,760 --> 01:49:10,480
You start sweating.

2576
01:49:10,480 --> 01:49:16,760
Oh man, but man, when you hit that toilet, like a fucking punch coming through, fucking

2577
01:49:16,760 --> 01:49:19,760
a kung fu fucking bah.

2578
01:49:19,760 --> 01:49:23,000
Yeah that was a good, it was, I wouldn't say it's like the greatest movie ever, but you

2579
01:49:23,000 --> 01:49:27,080
know, I watched it from fucking 1 a.m. to 3.44 in the morning, so I must have liked

2580
01:49:27,080 --> 01:49:28,080
it.

2581
01:49:28,080 --> 01:49:33,960
I hope you wonder, like I guess her main, I guess it's a starring role.

2582
01:49:33,960 --> 01:49:37,640
And John Cena is a delightful character.

2583
01:49:37,640 --> 01:49:40,680
And you know, the actor, wasn't it like something Lee?

2584
01:49:40,680 --> 01:49:45,680
I feel like it's Steven Lee, but I don't want to be racist.

2585
01:49:45,680 --> 01:49:46,680
The Shang-Chi actor?

2586
01:49:46,680 --> 01:49:50,120
But yeah, like he's in the movie too, it's really good.

2587
01:49:50,120 --> 01:49:51,760
It's a good like quick popcorn movie.

2588
01:49:51,760 --> 01:49:56,680
Yeah, like if you're not expecting anything crazy anyway, yeah.

2589
01:49:56,680 --> 01:50:00,000
How everybody goes into some movies expecting them to be the greatest thing in the world.

2590
01:50:00,000 --> 01:50:07,600
I think that's how it ever fucking lived, which is why movies like Endgame and Avengers

2591
01:50:07,600 --> 01:50:13,400
Infinity War are a problem because they're going to watch the big thing next time.

2592
01:50:13,400 --> 01:50:14,400
See Mulu.

2593
01:50:14,400 --> 01:50:18,080
Yeah, so he was the one playing the bad guy.

2594
01:50:18,080 --> 01:50:19,080
Wearing all white too.

2595
01:50:19,080 --> 01:50:22,400
Just fucking clutch your butt, see, shut.

2596
01:50:22,400 --> 01:50:23,400
Just clutch him.

2597
01:50:23,400 --> 01:50:29,480
Jesus Christ, he's so mad at him.

2598
01:50:29,480 --> 01:50:31,760
That's it today.

2599
01:50:31,760 --> 01:50:32,760
Another podcast down.

2600
01:50:32,760 --> 01:50:35,000
I was just glancing through this one.

2601
01:50:35,000 --> 01:50:36,000
Six thousand fucking subscribe.

2602
01:50:36,000 --> 01:50:37,000
We don't have anybody.

2603
01:50:37,000 --> 01:50:40,480
I was glancing through the rest of that post.

2604
01:50:40,480 --> 01:50:43,280
Oh my God, he has shit himself a lot.

2605
01:50:43,280 --> 01:50:45,880
Like three or four more times listed just like shit, dude.

2606
01:50:45,880 --> 01:50:47,400
Like he's literally shit himself.

2607
01:50:47,400 --> 01:50:48,400
Professional shitter.

2608
01:50:48,400 --> 01:50:52,200
So what you gonna do next time, okay, when you shit yourself this time?

2609
01:50:52,200 --> 01:50:55,320
That's why I wear three layers of pants.

2610
01:50:55,320 --> 01:50:57,920
That's why my underwear are the kind that are sealed.

2611
01:50:57,920 --> 01:50:58,920
Like a rubber pants.

2612
01:50:58,920 --> 01:51:01,600
He puts rubber bands on his legs.

2613
01:51:01,600 --> 01:51:04,800
So you were spilling down.

2614
01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:05,800
That's the worst part.

2615
01:51:05,800 --> 01:51:09,680
Like the shit would just fucking frail on your fucking legs, Lord.

2616
01:51:09,680 --> 01:51:10,680
Hard have mercy.

2617
01:51:10,680 --> 01:51:11,680
All right.

2618
01:51:11,680 --> 01:51:27,720
Well, with that, we will see you guys on the next one.