Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment podcast covering your favorite and unknown movies,
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Let's go ahead and get started.
Am I dying?
Probably.
I'm so fucking dehydrated and tired.
Anyway, we woke up real early this morning to go see the new movie Deadpool and Wolverine.
So basically it's Deadpool number three.
Heavy spoilers.
So if you are listening to the podcast, there will be chapters and you can skip ahead if
you do not want spoilers.
But if you do want spoilers, have it birthday.
If you're on YouTube, tough luck.
It's going to be in the title that says spoilers.
So yeah, the hype was real.
That was a heavy movie.
Yeah.
A lot of heavy cameos too.
A lot of heavy cameos.
Let's see.
We had to start off, we had Chris Evans coming back, not as Captain America, but as Johnny
Sorb with the fucking thickest accent, thickest Boston accent I've ever heard.
I wish I could fucking imitate, but I can't.
It was good though.
Okay.
So basically what happens is the TVA, if you guys remember from the show Loki, they end
up pruning timelines that become deviant or divergent on their specific plan.
And so Wade Wilson, every universe has an anchor character apparently.
This being is the anchor for that universe.
If that anchor dies, that universe now becomes obsolete.
Slowly, not immediately.
I don't know how that actually works.
The person has to be born eventually and then dies eventually, so that universe just ends?
Or does that universe only start when he's born and then when he dies it's over?
I don't know how that would work.
Right?
The universe only starts?
What about the history, that world?
Thousands of years of history.
And then they said that it takes 200,000 years for the world to end anyway.
I don't know.
I don't understand how that works for the universe.
So just what being is so important to that universe?
Unless basically what they're saying is after that person lives and dies, it makes that
timeline wither back from that point on.
I guess because it was going backwards when they were showing Wade.
So in Wade's universe, the Wolverine from the movie Logan is that Wolverine.
Him dying now destroys his universe basically because he was the anchor character.
And so Wade Wilson gets caught by the TVA to come in and he's going to be sent to the
sacred timeline, good old Earth 616 to be part of the Avengers.
From Earth 10,000.
Yes, it doesn't have five or some shit.
The weird thing is because of Wade's watch that he had from the second movie, Cable's
time travel watch, Wade can drift between universes too.
He actually tried years before the movie started to join the Avengers and he ended up talking
to Happy Hogan, Iron Man's former chauffeur, former bodyguard.
So he's trying to apply for the Avengers and he does not give him the job.
Some people are up here and other people are down here.
No, if you always shoot for your medal, you'll always get it.
He does like, I found my place and he put his hand higher above Wade's head and then
he put his hand lower to midsection for Wade.
Now you got to find your place.
I'm like, you cold motherfucker.
I'm just saying overall that's what he's trying to say.
Basically, yeah, I'm way better than you are.
I'm happy Hogan.
And so for whatever reason, this really upsets Wade to the point that his girlfriend that
he fought two movies for, if we're being honest, breaks up with him.
So at the beginning of the movie, they're not dating anymore and he works as a car salesman.
And he's still living with the, what's her name, Blind Al.
And apparently Disney had one requisite for them not to use cocaine on camera.
So they used every word possible to describe it.
They described cocaine, but they couldn't use cocaine.
And so the movie is entirely set, well, not entirely, but the majority of it is set in
the void, which is where people that are divergent to the timeline are sent to be pruned by this
massive monster.
If you've seen the first season of Loki, it all makes a hundred percent perfect sense.
But if you don't, they explained it pretty well.
It's basically a garbage disposal that clears up everything in the void.
Everything that they don't want in a different divergent universe.
Like a celestial entity almost that just consumes.
Yeah.
I think it was going to be Antonok or something.
And so what happened?
So okay.
So Wade thinks that in order to cause his universe is about to be pruned because they've
lost their anchor character, Wolverine Logan.
So he thinks, all right, if I go find a different Logan from a different multiverse, then, and
bring it to my universe that I can fix.
I can fix the world and save all the people that I love that his whole thing is about
saving the people that he loves is the whole stick of the movie.
His small group of friends.
Yes.
Right.
His nine groups of five groups of friends.
And of course he goes to different multiverses, defies various different Wolverines.
And they're all funny as fuck.
One of them is a height accurate Wolverine of five foot three, tiniest fuck.
He jumps down off of the bar, jumps two feet off of the bar, still the land on the floor
below.
You gotta pat them back.
But you pat them.
But still fucks him up.
You had the, from what I read somewhere, you have the apocalypse Wolverine.
Yes.
Which is the Wolverine that helped apocalypse conquer the earth.
So he beats his ass.
You got the Madriple Wolverine with the eye patch.
Yeah.
The white suit.
You have Henry Cavill's Wolverine.
With some giant mud chops.
With fucking mud chops of mud chops.
Then you have the, is it the X-Men, regular X-Men universe?
Wolverine?
That's what I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck universes they are.
I know in this universe where they find, he finds a specific Logan.
He finds apparently the worst one with a ball is what everyone was saying.
And this one's like does not want to fight.
He just wants to drink himself to death.
But he's basically immortal.
And he heals instantly so he can't fucking drink himself to death.
I don't even know if he can stay drunk that long.
No.
His cells just regenerate.
And so they end up in a partnership.
They get into a fight.
They get attacked by the TVA.
They get sent to the void.
And that's where their story really starts.
Yeah.
The Wolverine starts with the suit from the, like almost at the beginning of the movie
he has this suit on.
The yellow and blue.
Yep, the iconic yellow and blue suit.
And I didn't like the way it looked until they fucking took the sleeves off.
Yeah.
When it was like just his fucking guns sticking out.
That was my Henry, that was my Wolverine.
The villain, his name is Cassandra Nova who was apparently the twin of Xavier, Charles
Xavier.
Before that though they get captured by, what's his name?
Pyro.
Sabertooth to the net.
The frog dude.
What's his name?
Toad.
Yeah, Toad.
And a couple of others.
But Sabertooth gets out to fight Wolverine first and gets fucked up.
One hit.
And then you got Deadpool holding the head up saying, look at this lady.
Oh yeah.
He was like, he was commenting Furiosa from breaking the Mad Max in the movie.
I have your queen.
Furiosa.
So then they, what was it?
Pyro has Toad turn on some kind of magnet.
Yeah, they catch Wolverine.
And shoves Wolverine on top of Deadpool.
Yeah, Deadpool like fuck.
He was that magnetic.
Another funny trope that he does is like he says baby knife every time he pulls that
fucking knife out.
I know that little little thing.
He never not said it like baby knife.
Baby knife.
Like he said it every single time that bitch came out.
It's an itty bitty little like two inch knife.
Yeah, he fucking keeps stabbing into everybody.
He's got some massive katanas.
But every time, every time he pulls it out, he says baby knife first.
That's a great bit though.
It was.
The people that noticed it were laughing their asses off.
They say baby knife, baby knife.
So aside from them, they also have cameos of like what you wouldn't expect because they
didn't want to overshadow or draw too much attention.
Like if it was Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America, you'd be like oh wow.
So they ended up having freaking Jennifer Garner as Electra come back.
They had Wesley Snipes blade come back.
And he's older too where he's got the gray in his beard and everything.
Oh yeah, because he does still age doesn't he?
Or allegedly from the third one, after killing Dracula, he's supposed to age slower.
And he probably did technically because he just has like a little Brazilian line strip.
White strip.
Over his little shinny shinny shin.
And third was someone you were expecting was Davne from X-23.
But I don't know what her timeline is.
The way she talks, it makes it seem like she was the one from Logan.
But then why were they fucking Pruner?
That's what he says to me.
Yeah that didn't make too much sense at all.
Another one that comes up that was not in anything other than animated shows for a long
time is Gambit.
And super accurate French accent.
Like that fucking French, New Orleans, Louisiana French.
And you could not understand a fucking word he was signing.
I was like what?
Remember he shot out of his daddy.
100% in the world or some shit.
So yeah.
I'm fucking passing out over here.
What else?
Yeah so those four, so they didn't do the overuse of cameos.
No not too bad.
And then of course like you said you had Johnny Storm.
Good old Johnny Storm.
He immediately loses the pyro.
Took it to absorb flames.
So he's like no I'm weak.
And then he fucking hits his nuts down on a fucking mesh wire.
Like a fucking platform thing where he falls.
And then he falls and he hits his head and he fucking lands into a scorpion.
Not an actual move of the scorpion where your legs are so far back that they're behind your
head.
So he ends up getting the scorpion.
And then they all get dragged to her because Senator Innova's high that which is Ant-Man's
entire body.
Yes with his hands in front of him as the gates.
How fucked up would that be if you're like an Ant-Man in 19 or whatever year it was like
Twitter 2010 right?
And then you end up getting killed by some chick named Cassandra Nova.
Oh that would suck.
Like completely.
In the void no less.
And like she is a like a like she likes to hurt people.
She's a handy girl for sure.
She rips Johnny Storm's skin off of his body completely.
I don't feel like a stem of a finger too.
Yeah.
She's like hey.
Like no snap no nothing just.
She just fucking ripped it off and he just fucking falls into a fucking heap of bones.
Heap of bones and like just flesh.
I'm like Jesus.
All kinds of fucked up.
Oh God.
So they end up escaping from her.
Wolverine and Deadpool.
Off of what like a sentinel boot or something like that.
That's what it looks like yeah.
I kind of want to say it was an Iron Man suit.
It was giant though.
Just like the leg from the first model.
It could have been but it was as tall as them though.
So maybe not that.
That's why I was thinking.
What would it be?
That's the only thing I could think of is a sentinel.
Yeah.
Like out of all things.
The fucking thick ass leg.
And then they meet what's that the other Deadpool.
Zenpool.
Oh and the dog.
You meet fucking dogpool.
That fucking Deadpool falls in love with to an unhealthy degree.
Its owner Zenpool comes in who is nonviolent.
But somehow has these fucking gold 50 caliber fucking desert eagle in his pocket.
And he uses the regular Deadpool wants to keep the dog but the Zenpool won't let him
have him.
Later on they meet again and they switch keys.
And I'm guessing that they traded a lesbian relationship with a hendrikia.
That's what I think anyway.
Why did I say lesbian relationship?
What am I talking about?
My mother tired.
But yes he makes out with a lot.
Like an unvelting amount.
The whole scene is him just getting fucking licked down by his dog.
And it's a good almost like three to four minute scene too which is even worse because
the entire time.
And he's just standing there talking letting it lick his mouth.
He lets the Zenpool talk and the dog just wants to grab him and take a fucking taste
out of his fucking tongue.
Just fucked up the scene completely.
And Zenpool is nonviolent so he doesn't want to fight anybody.
And at one point in the movie they get attacked by like all these other various of Deadpool.
And he uses Zenpool to block the bullets.
So how long does it take for your healing factor to kick in?
And the funny part like they pretty much destroy the facility.
No one ever goes back I think to like maybe a little later season.
What they fucking destroy the facility.
Wait what did I talk about again?
What facility am I talking about?
You're talking about the underground railroad station facility or you're talking about the
TVA.
What the fuck was I talking about?
What am I fucking going on about?
I started rambling and I don't know what the fuck I just said.
I'm on facility.
What?
I'm just so fucking tired for some reason.
What the fuck?
Anyway he lets fucking Zenpool get murdered so that he can have the dog dog pull and fucking
Wolverine knows that for a fact because he just calls him a fucking murderer.
Because he just fell in front of the gunfire.
Yeah basically and he thought like alright I'm going to just heal back.
But I can't heal.
I don't know how to heal.
He fucking just dies.
I'm like wait wait he doesn't have any fucking healing power?
Apparently not.
That's the only fucking Deadpool.
And this is them going up against the army of Deadpools.
With that Cassandra Nova 6 on them basically towards the end of the movie.
Yeah it's wild.
There's all these different variants of Deadpool.
You have a kid Deadpool.
Ladypool is the leader.
You got a Western one.
You got the Samurai one.
You got.
I'm trying to have a foreign pool.
Like just be honest here where's the foreign pool at?
There was a Deadpool of all of them.
Like all the famous ones.
But towards the end it takes both Wolverine and Deadpool to work together to absorb matter
and anti-matter together.
Yes that's the perfect thing.
And when that happens right Henry Cavill has been slowly losing parts of his clothes.
Like first he loses his bicep like to sleep.
It's you Jackman.
What did I say?
Henry Cavill.
Did I?
No more late night movies for me.
You mean early morning?
I'm Henry Cavill.
He's a sexy man too.
You start saying the weirdest shit.
But how everybody thought that Hugh Jackman wasn't still buff or like fit anymore.
It's like he just stands there and he's holding on to Wade.
Yeah like his.
So first like his sleeves come off.
So you see his fucking thick ass fucking biceps.
Then when he helps Wade absorb the anti-matter and matter of the universe away from the machine
that Cassandra Nova is trying to use to destroy every timeline.
His fucking shirt rims off and all you see is these fucking thick ass fucking muscles
and it stops all the seriousness for a second for Wade.
You got Wade looking at you.
He's like hell yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
The only thing left is his pants and the mask.
Because right before all this when they were fighting the army of deadpools he puts on
the iconic Wolverine mask.
Yeah which do you want to be honest that shit looked goofy as fuck at some points.
Yeah it did.
Like how's he going?
You can't do this Wade I'll do it.
I'm like that is the goofiest shit.
The CGI with it was eh.
It was too bad for me.
I'm like no.
At the beginning it was fine but then it just came out of nowhere.
Like where did that mask come from?
I can see your back the whole fucking time.
Where did you put your net mask from?
It was like hidden on the inside.
On his fucking asshole.
He pulls it out.
Wow.
I don't know half of that movie anymore.
I'm exhausted.
But it was a good movie.
A very good movie.
It was a solid movie because it balances well all the good elements you need.
The humor, the acting, the action, the characters so that you feel like you've actually seen
something entertaining instead of throwing a bunch of stuff on screen hoping it works.
Right.
And they didn't over do the cameos.
Like Electra and Blade and the rest of them they weren't like the stars of the show.
They killed off the Johnny Storm character really quick.
They could afford it budget wise.
The one thing I found hilarious though is you have Deadpool talking to Cassandra Nova
at everything that Johnny said about her.
I sort of understand.
Okay so did he go back in time and have him say that on purpose because he kept looking
at it with the camera like huh?
Or did he remember that he said all that and he remembered there was a camera there?
I think it was that he knew that there was a camera there.
So he just wanted him to tell them ah ah.
Because he had a whole list of shit.
That's what I keep thinking like how did he fucking he wouldn't have had time to ah how
the fuck because he had done that before.
Changed the timeline.
It could be that he went back in time though.
And just changed it on purpose.
He's like see I didn't kill him.
Right like he's trying to say like it wasn't me.
In a while.
But yeah I'd definitely give it a good 8 out of 10.
Pay a 50.10 up from me.
A what?
15 out of 10.
15 out of 10?
It's just that good.
You know what is so good was they had a fight scene halfway through the movie.
They had a fight scene earlier.
Oh yeah yeah yeah.
In the desert but they had another fight scene in a car.
With the first fight scene it's like we're going to give these people what they wanted
or it's just them fighting.
It's just regular fighting yeah.
But man they really start fighting in the second act.
Yes.
Because they have this argument and then Wolverine says the most Wolverine says he's he never
spoke this much in any movie.
And like everything he said in one particular scene was most of his dialogue on the other
movie is total.
Yeah.
So he tells Wave the realest shit he could possibly say to him.
Like the stuff you never want to say to your friends you have no choice.
Yeah.
He said all this shit and he finally goes like why?
The math doesn't have anything to say?
And Deadpool's like we're going to fight now?
And super serious too.
Right and then Wolverine started laughing like we're going to what now?
He punches him in the fucking face.
And they have him fighting in this fucking Odyssey truck.
Yeah for fucking like for like 18 hours or some shit like almost 24 hours from like because
it was day when they kept fighting.
It was a little bit night when they kept fighting and then it was like mid like well it's in
like six in the morning.
Yeah.
But the entire time they're just fucking up this on the Odyssey van like there is so much
blood in real life.
It's not even funny.
And then when you get the overview in the next morning it's Wade tied up in all these
seat belts.
And then Wolverine just sleeping on the other side.
It was basically like them fucking.
Basically that was the whole.
That was the whole.
The bit basically.
Yeah they were just fighting.
They finally had to get their energy out.
Fuck each other when they fight you know what I mean?
Very clever.
There's a lot of that kind of comedy through the entire movie and it's fucking hilarious.
Let me say the intro is not worth it.
Like it is for a joke point but it's not for anything else.
That was going to be something fucking epic.
No it's literally like what we just said.
Where it's just fucking.
Him going back to justify why Johnny Stork died.
They kept asking him to that group like with Will Smith Snipes and Jennifer Gardner.
So where is Johnny?
Like we don't know.
We barely knew him.
But I like somehow like segue away from the fact that they fucking had a murder.
But their like their goal was to give them a good ending for all those characters.
Right and I guess going out like that's the best thing to think of.
Because you didn't really get a good ending with Blade.
You didn't really get a good ending with Elektra.
You didn't get a good ending at all because he didn't even exist yet.
His gambit.
Right.
Right like he kept like hinting that like for them to give him a chance to prove himself.
Yeah.
Like if I'm somebody who doesn't even know me.
Mon cherie let me fight.
Oh oui oui.
Let me make the asshole clean.
CGI wasn't too bad in the movie.
We're all pretty good.
Like I said acting was pretty good.
A lot like if you get offended really easy don't go see it.
The jokes are fucking hilarious.
Don't go in there with a thin skin and don't think that he won't make fun of everybody
because he does.
He will.
It's what you expect from every Deadpool movie basically.
You have reverence.
Yeah.
But when you first see Chris Evans as the character cameo like everybody assumes it's
going to be Captain America because he jumps off of this what is it like a platform thing.
Yeah.
It jumps off.
He's like now that's a superhero landing.
Fucking hard on for fucking Deadpool.
Yeah because he's got like a shawl thing like a cloak on whenever they first see him and
then he drops it completely.
It's like fuck it's Johnny's.
Flame on.
And you say Deadpool huh?
Who the fuck is that?
Because okay one thing that they need to add to Deadpool is his omniscient pop culture reference.
I feel like it's a psychic ability for him.
He can break the fourth wall so that means he and he knows like you know he was making
fun of Mad Max.
Yes.
He knows all sorts of stuff.
He knows that.
Like Furiosa.
He knows Henry Cavill.
Yes.
He knows Chris Evans so they need to add some sort of that ability like make explain it.
He has omniscient pop culture knowledge.
Like he that's what he sees somebody and knows everything.
Yeah like he knows who they are.
So they need to like it's they don't have to explain it but at least let us know that
he has it.
Yeah like it just pop culture omniscience.
Exactly yeah.
That would be perfect for him though because there was a bunch of references that were
fucking hilarious.
Like the entire part in the void it was like Mad Max world.
Yeah especially with the way they came after him and they had fucking Red Skull's truck
for his car from the original Captain America the first Avenger.
They just put flames on the side of it.
And I remember I told Michael I think that's his car and then we saw the credits like Red
Skull's came through.
Like his fucking actual rec crew.
Yeah so there was a like we said a bunch of cameos on it.
Very tastefully done though.
Not overdone.
They could have like been in the movie or not been and still would have been a good
movie.
Yeah yeah overall yeah.
It's just kind of like those little like oh that's cool.
Like they added that character that I haven't seen in a long time.
When they had Jennifer Garner coming out it's like huh?
I was like oh I didn't know.
I got to the main booth.
You know her daughter looks exactly like her.
Yeah I think I've seen her.
Like it's just a weird looking.
It is weird looking.
Like a clone.
Every time I see that when a mom and daughter look the same I get like a little bit like
what?
Like a brain like frames in my head right?
Or like a glitch.
Yeah.
Because it's like gee genetics is wild.
You could come out looking completely different or absolutely identical.
Yeah Wesley Sives's blade though he's skinnier.
He's older yeah he's got gray hair.
Yeah a gray little goatee.
And a beard which is even funnier.
But he looks like from the original blade you can tell that he has lost some like mass.
Oh yeah basically doesn't work out like he used to probably.
I would assume so but it was kind of cool just seeing him in general where he uses his
iconic like blade weapon that he's got.
The little or it spins when he throws it.
The boomerang yeah.
Yeah he uses that on different characters in the void.
Let's see.
They also have X-23 but I don't know what X-23 it is.
I don't know where she was pruned from in terms of like the multiverse continuity.
Because she knew old man Logan.
It seemed like it yeah.
But yeah there was old man Logan in the movie too.
Like the actual from the comic book with the hat.
Yes.
And he fucking shotgunned or Deadpool I forgot about him.
Yeah when he was going searching for the Wolverine.
For any Wolverine to help him yeah.
All of them fucked him up.
He wanted one that would anchor his universe.
That's how in his head he thought he was going to be.
But I remember because he brought back the Wolverine and the guy's like you got to be
fucking joking with me.
That's how you think it works.
You just pick a random Wolverine.
What was it?
An educated wish.
That's what they call it instead of an educated guess.
It was an educated wish.
Plus it was the brown suit Logan.
That fought the Hulk but we didn't really get to see the Hulk.
Well the Hulk did he did show up though.
For like a split second he's like.
Like he transitions to the next Wolverine.
The old man Logan was funny because he looked like he had the gray like little goatee.
Yeah.
Coming down or I guess the mud chops just to look a line.
Yeah.
Yeah like that old brim hat that he had.
With the like blanket thing over him.
Like an old man with his rocking chair like yeah.
Like I need to talk to you old man and you fucking just shoot him with a double barreled
shotgun.
Oh we didn't talk about how.
Before he found out that he needed that other Wolverine.
He knew that he was like I can go dig up the Logan Wolverine.
Yeah the absolutely reverence of the fact that he dug up.
He dug up Logan Wolverine from the R-rated movie.
And then you see him flip out and break the shovel and then later you see him talking
to somebody and it's just talking to the skeleton of Wolverine.
And sitting beside him.
Yeah there was like a little bit of skin and just a little bit of sinew or whatever.
But Wolverine was dead.
And he was real fucking pissed.
And then the TVA comes up to get Deadpool.
He starts using every bit of Wolverine to kill him.
That's actually a good weapon.
Because he was using the spine connected to the head as a mace.
And that would be because it's adamantium to be unbreakable.
And then breaking the ribs off and just throwing them.
There was the one where he fucking stabbed one of the pieces of rib.
No it was like an actual leg or bone.
And he hit the guy in the dick right.
And then he slid it like he was stroking it.
They make sure to do that real slow too.
This is the opening credits.
Right.
Deadpool always does that.
It does.
And then it shows what happened.
The lead up to what happened.
So basically it starts cold.
And then it cuts for a second.
But it does it really early.
Instead of having the whole movie lead up to it.
It just does it for a few minutes.
Like it has them fight the TVA for a little opening.
Has the backstreet boys.
Bye bye bye baby bye.
Why is he doing the dances?
Right.
And then it goes back to the scene at the beginning.
Let's back up a little bit.
And then we catch up.
Because you use the first 10 minutes of the movie to catch back up real quick.
And then after that all new material.
I like how they do the cold opens are great.
But he desecrated that body.
You know my favorite part aside from the fight in the car.
Between him and Wolverine.
Which is them basically fucking.
That's how I see it now.
It was when he got suited up by that guy.
That guy kept slapping him on the ass.
Oh yeah.
Every time he suited up.
And the TVA whenever they thought that he was going to work with him.
Right that's where he was like.
And then he was like fucking.
Then he was squeezing his ass.
Then he was fucking slapping his ass.
Then he put a new knife on his pocket.
Then he slapped his ass.
Then he put his boots on.
Then he slapped his ass.
I'm like what?
Then he came back and like look at me now.
By the way you guys are a predator.
But I'm into it.
Fucking weird.
Then he called out that one guy Howard.
Oh yeah he's like he knows.
Howard's up freak.
And then like whatever he was.
He what was his name?
Paradox in the movie.
Where he's one of the TVA leaders.
But he's like a rogue TVA.
He's up to like some weird side mission against the TVA's protocols.
Yeah.
Because he thinks he can do it better than they are.
Or he had some weird alternative.
I don't know what his goal was.
Well he said that they won't just cut off entire things anymore the way that they should.
They let him wither back now instead of pruning him like they used to.
He wants like a specific team or something?
He won in Deadpool because he considered him special.
And then for the whole movie he's almost like I guess I'm Jesus.
But whenever he smacked him in the face.
Took that little device that they used to jump from timeline to timeline.
But he was falling towards that one dude specifically.
He was falling ass first.
The guy's like fucking I almost had his mouth open.
And then the portal opens and he goes through that first.
Not to mention when he saw Hugh Jackman's abs he's like.
See that?
And then you have Deadpool put this shirt on.
But you put your titties away.
Stop flaunting stuff.
What else?
Of course we had dogpool.
Yes.
I'm fully awake now by the way.
I don't know what I was rambling on.
You're gonna have a big laugh when you leave over here to get our juice.
Yes.
You're gonna be like what the fuck was he saying?
This is how you know that we don't edit our podcast.
That was just out.
What was I talking about half of the time?
I don't even remember.
Was I even being coherent?
No.
Not really.
What was one thing I said that seemed odd out of nowhere?
You said something about like an industry or something.
I'm like what?
I'm quite grateful you're like that.
I'm just like I could've sworn I said cocaine in some way.
One thing that was kind of weird though is that this Cassandra Nova character somehow.
Oh that girl could get it though.
She was not.
Bald as Xavier.
And she got licked out of the bald head plane.
But her powers are weird to me because number one she like finger rapes you.
She's able to like intangibly enter your mind.
She likes to put her fingers into your brain.
Instead of just reading your mind she likes to be more invasive so she puts her whole
hand.
Like intangibility all through your skull.
So she's still hurting you but she's not like killing you.
I don't know if it's a psycho like if there's an actual psychic thing that she does that
they think is happening but is it really happening?
No it really is because she drugged that one dude remember?
Oh yeah she fucking drug him like a god dang tall.
I don't get her powers though because like the Magneto helmet prevents her from using
her powers and she can get shot and everything like that and starts bleeding.
But as soon as they take the helmet back off of her because they used Juggernaut's helmet
in this movie.
They take the helmet back off of her and she heals which is weird.
Let's find out.
Oh lord she looks way worse in the comic books.
She looks way worse in the comic books.
Gary.
Oh she's got telepathy telekinesis DNA duplication spontaneous cell regeneration.
Oh that's what that is okay.
Intangibility cosmic fire and infernal control.
Immunity to magic and mimicry.
Premonition mind and body exchange mind control soul gathering and dematerialization.
Can you say that word?
Dematerialization.
So yeah she's the twin sister of X-Men founder telepath professor Gary.
So they must have not had all these in the movie.
But I know telepathy telekinesis for sure.
Yes because she did that to Wolverine.
And the spontaneous cell regeneration as well.
And intangibility because she put her hands through people.
There we go.
Okay that makes sense.
Although spontaneous means that it just happens randomly.
It just happens.
Spontaneous means that it's like almost instant.
I thought it was like random.
Like if we're using the word.
Like spontaneous human combined.
That also means instant combustion.
I don't like it though.
Instantaneous would be better for me.
It would make more sense yes.
It would be like if I'm dying from a gunshot and I heal like three months later.
You know what I mean?
But I think that's what they're actually meaning though is.
Like it's instant.
So whatever damage she gets as long as her powers are active and apparently her powers
are not active if she's wearing a helmet.
Which doesn't make any sense.
You know like I would get to where she can't hurt you.
Right.
But not herself.
That is weird.
Like.
It is a plot hole there.
Yeah it is.
Like it says.
But it's Deadpool so it doesn't have to necessarily make perfect sense.
So yeah that's true.
You know what I mean?
Like it is what it is but.
I want to work with Jennifer Larner now.
You want her to be in the electric costume there?
The original?
Yeah.
I could take it or leave it.
You know either one is fine with me.
As long as she's you know with me.
Did she ever train her actual like with those actual like size?
I could have sworn like she said she'd had like extensive training.
In the first movie she did didn't she?
I think so.
Like with.
Oh which is funny because they said Daredevil is dead in your universe.
Yeah.
That's fine.
A little jab at an athlete.
Looks like yeah that's fine.
Say fuck that motherfucker.
That was one of the funniest parts like ah no that's fine.
Hey man Jennifer Lopez.
They did a lot of jabbing.
It was the same with Hugh and his divorce.
He let us go with the divorce.
So yeah basically 90% of the movie was set in the void.
Which I know why was to avoid any like they didn't want to go to the MCU.
They want to stay on his planet.
They wanted to be like a self-contained story.
So I didn't mind it being in the void.
No it was different than whenever they had the one location shots for Fantastic Four.
That's another thing.
They had a fucking like honorary remembrance or some shit of the old 20.
You saying that too?
Oh this is the dumbest shit.
Because they had a whole montage of all the Fox movies.
Yeah.
All the Marvel Fox movies that they did right.
That were gone yeah.
Like Spider-Man.
Right and they were like remember these movies because they bought Fox.
And I'm like they kept showing the Fantastic Four the new one or the most recent.
I'm like no put that shit back.
With Michael B Jordan.
Not to mention that when Deadpool found out he was going to the MCU he was like fuck Fox.
21st century Fox and he fucking smashed the camera and threw it across the thing.
Yeah.
Mickey Mouse all the way.
Yeah.
That was like his biggest fourth wall break.
Well in the void it had the 20th century Fox logo.
Yeah that's the fucking thing destroyed.
So that means it's part of the trash heap they took it to.
Wow.
He did not give a fuck.
It's like oh yeah it's the trash heap now.
It's in the void.
The TV 8 right there.
My cousin just texted me he wants to go see Long Legs.
Long Legs?
Yeah.
You have no idea do you?
All I gotta say is I'm gonna tell you who's in it and you'll be like oh.
It's Nicolas Cage.
Oh.
He said oh.
And he plays a real weird character.
He played the one where it's uh no it can't be that one.
I don't know if that's what it's called.
The one where the guy like where you're talking about where what's his name is obsessed with
him.
Oh no no that was John Travolta.
Right?
Oh no no that was that one.
Oh you know the Pedro Pesci.
Yeah yeah yeah.
We already saw that.
Yeah I figured.
Long Legs is basically he's a serial killer that tries that's trying to uh gain favor
with Satan and but he's androgynous so he's not supposed to be male or female and he's
super pale and he's a he's a washed up rocker so uh he starts to move like if you let me
in it can be nice.
If you don't let me in I gotta come back not once not twice.
No I'm like are you like it's supposed to be super serious.
Yeah and it's not.
Actually pause the thing and I'll show you a video.
Yeah that's that's what I'm fucking.
You should let me in now.
There's another one where he just.
It can be nice.
And it can be nice.
There's one part where he just starts fucking screaming in his car.
He's always goes 150 percent.
I love him for it but man he's not just a method actor he goes full.
He puts his soul into it.
Like fuck dude.
Oh man Nicholas Cage you are one of a kind.
There will never be another actor I think.
No.
Let me in now.
And to be fair it doesn't even look like Nicholas Cage.
I know if I go see it with my cousin I'm just gonna fucking burst out laughing and I'm not
gonna mean to.
You know these people.
Let me in now.
Because it's supposed to be a horror movie right?
Yeah it's supposed to be a super serious like murder mystery with a with a with a tinge
of the supernatural.
But with Nicholas Cage.
You're gonna be laughing your ass off and everybody's gonna be looking at you and what
the fuck are you laughing for?
I'm gonna be driving home or driving to work when I'm heavy.
Heavy.
Oh God.
So I guess I'll go see two movies in one day huh?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I'm glad our day stands.
Yeah.
They can't even save you.
I always say I don't know why I always add the extra.
I do too.
I just like to.
Every time even in my head I say Jesus Christ I'm glad our day stands.
Because you've heard it so many times.
So overall yeah Deadpool.
Good movie.
Definitely go see it.
They're gonna do the whole thing with like MCU.
The MCU is back.
They're like the MCU is dead.
I don't know.
The MCU is back.
They may not unless Deadpool is leading the new MCU.
Like the way they made fun of a bunch of shit on there.
There is a scene where it looks like he sees a future of himself dying in battle and Thor
being really upset and he's holding him like why is Thor there?
And like I don't know if it's legit or if it's just like a bait you know?
Yeah.
It doesn't actually happen.
I don't think it will.
Like he dies in battle helping the Avengers.
I think that was paradox's way of trying to get him to join his side.
Because every time he would wake up in the movie because they fell asleep a lot.
And he'd say something like I hear a God of thunder.
Or he'd be like oh Thor.
That way the Thor won't be like Chris Hemsworth.
But he never did.
But yeah they made a lot of jokes about a lot of people.
So we'll see how far this goes over with the masses.
As a Deadpool you know not necessarily hardcore fan but somebody that loves the good old movies.
When we talk about hard, he said hardcore.
When we talk about like an actual part of us.
And how it would go about.
Yes.
How would you people like to know how I would see it?
Instead of the fight scenes it would be actual.
Yeah.
It would be actual fuck scenes.
And Cassandra was more likely to have a cock herself.
So that would be that scene too.
They would play tag team Johnny Storm.
I'm guessing Electra would also have a penis.
No.
She's not too manly.
But Cassandra know it yeah.
She's like she catches him right like time to teach you boys a lesson.
I'm pulling out the fucking slung like the hammer of steel.
I'm like oh my.
Well shit.
And then Deadpool's like me first.
And then Wolverine's like you better not stick that in my asshole bub.
You better not do a bum on the bottom bub.
I'm on the top bub.
Well like whatever Deadpool pulled his gun out on him he just leans into it.
Yeah he was so fucking.
I don't know how he gets drunk though.
It doesn't last very long though.
But then again he was also drinking isopropyl alcohol so.
He was fucking tweaking.
Yeah because they escaped Cassandra's lair.
Which is fucking the body of Ant-Man.
The giant Ant-Man.
And of course he makes a Paul Rudd reference.
Paul Rudd finally aged.
They escaped.
What did you say was on a.
Like a sentinel leg.
We talked about earlier didn't we.
And I was fucking with Drowze.
That's why I said I thought it was a sentinel leg.
I keep thinking it was Iron Man for some but it wouldn't be that high.
Yeah like the height.
Right.
That's the reason I was saying a sentinel.
Because it made it look like he knew what it was.
Yeah.
Like Wolverine's like oh there it is.
And that's why I thought it was a sentinel leg.
He's fought those.
Yeah.
And they fucking take off.
They land in the middle of nowhere.
They find a fucking old abandoned.
Like restaurant.
Diner yeah.
And Wolverine's looking for stuff.
And because he can smell food.
His food from all the way over there.
But he was smelling just spam.
So Deadpool was just eating spam.
And then Wolverine's looking for alcohol.
Like oh god dang it.
He finds isopropyl roving alcohol.
You shouldn't drink that.
And then he's like fuck it.
And Deadpool's like goodbye liver.
It can heal.
It'll be fine.
But when he found dog pool right.
And I knew it was serious because he took his mask off.
Deadpool did.
And he's like oh my god.
Dude my heart's just beating.
And it was his end point.
He's like 90% of its body will make an orgasm.
Yeah because it was like 90% G-spot.
Yeah.
The dog was.
I like how he tried to escape through the cornfield.
And he didn't even go anywhere.
He just took the corn or two thing.
I'm sorry girl.
Then Wolverine takes the dog from him.
Gives it back to Zenpool.
Yeah.
Zenpool was interesting.
Because he's not a fighter.
Well his wall breaker or whatever was just staring at the camera.
And just said the proposal.
Because that one movie that he did with Sandra Bullock.
Yeah.
She has a great nude scene in that by the way.
She's not naked though.
It's like implied nudity.
Yeah.
Damn do I love implied nudity.
She covers her breasts.
She has a tiny tail over her crotch.
Yeah.
And this little dog is like chasing her back into the bathroom.
She just sits there butt naked.
I'm like well it's just a tiny dog.
It's getting hit with the towel.
Give it a little smack.
Dogs don't understand nudity.
Anyway I don't know why you're covering up.
No.
But Dogpool and like towards the end of the movie.
I love Dogpool.
It's got the goggles on and everything.
Yeah so they can do the CGI.
Because its eyes were not its eyes.
Because it was like that.
It was like bug eyes.
Yeah like what's going on around here.
They give it almost pug eyes.
And then he fucking uses Zenpool because they get attacked by a hundred variants of Deadpool
because apparently other than Loki's.
Because in the Loki show Loki's are constant variants that get pruned.
The Deadpools get pruned by the dozens too.
That's what we were talking about when you were passing out.
Oh was it?
I don't remember.
But they go through and he got.
Him and Wolverine they go through and just destroy all these other Deadpools.
And then you see them all stand right back.
Oh I guess they do have healing factors.
Because Zenpool doesn't.
Yeah.
And like I like how he.
Because I was trying to explain when I was drowsy.
That he used Zenpool to block the bullets.
So that he would die so that he could keep Dogpool.
Yeah.
Because the dog was actually Zenpool's.
And Wolverine's like you're fucking murdered.
Because he knew 100% why he fucking did it.
And he just like stood there.
And then he's like his head.
Zenpool's head gets blown off and he's like over there trying to get chest compressions.
And then Wolverine pulls the dog up right.
Because they're both behind a minivan.
And Wolverine for some reason Deadpool's like there's a fucking donut shop.
They're known as medical triages.
And I'm like what the fuck are you talking about.
That's like the way to hold him up in front of the gunfire.
So yeah he picks him up again and he moves across the street.
To the fucking donut stand.
And gets lit up even more.
And he keeps telling him like you're going to make it.
I'm going to make it.
He's fucking coughing.
He's throwing up blood.
They say it with me.
I'm going to make it.
Fucking Zenpool dying.
And all it takes is Wolverine picking up.
Yeah Wolverine picks up Dogpool.
And they're all like oh he's going to hold you fire.
And then he just fucking holds him by the side.
He just walks across the street.
And no one does anything.
Because nobody wants to kill Dogpool.
Right.
I love the interaction where like you just took him to.
Because he knew he was just fucking murdered.
But after they get like they mow through all the Deadpools you have babypool.
Just sitting there pointing back.
I was wondering you know do him out too.
They also said they just killed babypool as well.
Like we're rated R for a reason.
They had that weird scene where like one of the Deadpools is on the bus in the driver
seat.
Yeah I was saying that.
He's like oh is that supposed to be a reference or something?
Like he didn't know what to do?
Right.
Like he just gets stabbed on the fucking bus seat.
He doesn't have any idea what to do.
And then it takes what's his name that was in Deadpool 2.
The guy that he sent home from X-Force.
Peter.
Yeah Peter.
Where everybody loves Peter.
Now every Deadpool has their own Peter.
He's a legend.
And so he's like he's with me.
So they let Wolverine and Deadpool go.
Because of Peter.
Because Peter told them to.
Yeah.
Oh yeah that reminds me.
The reason they attacked the group.
The two of them was because they made a deal with Cassandra.
Yes.
That was actually the first time they were off the void forever for a long time.
Yeah.
Because they were back in Deadpool's world.
Yep.
Yeah I forgot about that.
But yeah the final fight is basically back in Deadpool's home planet.
Yeah but you have Deadpool running off with Wolverine.
Like the normal Deadpool.
He's like have fun with my Peter.
Yeah he's fucking high.
Yeah in my opinion he's doing double references again.
Exactly.
Oh that was a good movie.
And then the lady from the TVA.
The main lady.
Oh she's got it.
I like her too.
You know when she's like why are you so sexy.
Yeah like.
Peter.
He had a weird like flirtation with him and Peter.
Her and Peter.
I'm like where did this come from.
Where did Billy and the Satan ship.
He's like oh I'm sorry about that.
Like you're like oh I'm so naughty.
You're such a naughty boy.
I never know what I'm doing.
You know what you're doing Peter.
I'm like where did he get a suit by the way.
Because you know he had a fat like fupa.
Did you notice that?
No I didn't.
That was the one from the walker.
That was his?
Yeah.
That was his?
Yeah that was.
That was Wade's.
No that was Wade's.
No no but where did Peter get the suit.
From the walker.
Like at the dealership.
The car dealership.
Yeah yeah.
All right because he had the new suit.
Yeah.
Yeah because he didn't bring his suit whenever they took him to the TV.
Wade's suit.
Well then why the fuk was it.
Did it fit so well.
It didn't.
It was halfway undone.
You didn't see that.
No.
The zipper wasn't all the way done.
Oh God.
That's why he had the fupa and everything.
He had a fukin rope.
Like a whole thick.
I'm like God dang.
You know his dick is sideways right.
Like they're like fold up like a like a squirrel in there.
And that made me what she was thinking.
I'm like just fukin packing.
Peter packing.
That's my poor son.
Packin Peter.
That's gonna be my poor son name.
Packin Peter.
By the way there was some trolls on TikTok.
They were showing credits.
End credits right.
And they had like Gwenpool.
No Gwen.
There was that spider man Gwen.
I think it is Gwenpool.
I think it is Gwenpool yeah.
And they were supposed to be Emma Stone.
And I'm like okay.
And then they had like Andrew Garfield the spider man.
I'm like oh spider man is in this too.
But then when the movie came out they were nowhere to be found.
Yeah.
And I didn't see them on the credits either.
So either they trolled us or they cut them out.
Yeah.
But either way like if it was true I'd be like wow.
But yeah it takes Wolverine and Deadpool to work together.
Right because they had to destroy the time machine that would
blow up the universe.
Every universe.
What was it called?
The time bomb?
I can't remember what they called it.
Time something.
And it's energized by both antimatter and matter.
And so Deadpool decided to sacrifice himself and be the hero.
But he grabbed the matter side of the wires but he couldn't reach the antimatter.
So then Wolverine comes in and he rakes his hand and shoves his claws into the eye.
And the second it does his fucking shirt rips out.
And you can see his pubic hair coming up out of the eye.
That's what I noticed.
I'm sick.
That then pubes almost to the belly.
Then you have Deadpool just licking her eye.
He looks right.
Then he looks at the camera like you're welcome.
I'm about the only thing I didn't like was Wolverine wearing the face mask.
Yeah.
It didn't fit right.
Like when they first had it come up it was fine.
It looked great.
But then they were talking about how to say I gotta sacrifice myself.
I was like that was too corny for me like take that shit off.
Well it started moving too?
Yeah I'm like this is so weird.
I think that was the point is that they knew that it would look real weird.
So then they had to take it back off after the.
When they came back I was like yeah all of a sudden it's off again.
Yeah.
Like I was like no I don't like that.
Because like he's trying to be serious but it looks so goofy on him.
Yeah.
Which is weird because you think it would be the perfect fit for all these years to
get the full Wolverine suit.
Which like I said in the beginning like when it crouches down slightly with the claws and
everything it looks fine.
To me the suit was perfect with it with his face uncovered and no sleeves to see those
fucking guns.
And that was it.
The full sleeve that I didn't like.
Yeah.
It was like the sleeveless was turning me on.
Didn't he.
Didn't when Deadpool's birthday he thought the TVA was actually hooker or no strippers.
Yes.
And he was trying to get them to.
He's like I'm not a natural bottom.
You guys gotta get in there.
And like one of them got really mad at him like keep that energy.
Let's go.
They fucking drag him into the TVA.
But he's like but you're gonna have to shove it.
And he staples his toupee to his head.
Yes.
So he has like a staples for like half of the movie.
I thought the juice.
It's that little piece of the hair.
That was a great bit though.
And then Wolverine is like he's telling Deadpool slowly like oh because he asked about the
staples.
I wear a toupee and no one notices.
And he's like well fuck it.
And he starts fucking laughing his ass off right in front of him.
I love that version of Wolverine.
Like everybody notices.
Everybody knows.
Oh man.
That's okay.
Get over that fight scene.
Yeah.
In the car.
It's like they've destroyed the entire fight.
It's just so cathartic.
Yeah.
Like Wolverine said such hurtful stuff to Deadpool.
Like true stuff.
Yeah.
So he was just like we're gonna fight now.
That was the only thing Deadpool said.
It just hit him.
Another bit that he loved to do was every time he pulled out his knife.
The baby knife.
You said.
I did.
I said I said you know I was fucking out of me.
The baby knife.
Yeah.
Damn I don't remember half of the shit I said earlier but I'm fully awake now.
That is weird.
I must have really gone off on the randomest shit.
No you didn't.
Because I was like this right.
I was like.
Oh yeah.
You were just randomly saying shit to me.
But it goes to show you how fucking force-willed I am because I was still saying something.
I don't know what it was.
Oh man that's a good movie.
But yeah good good movie.
What the fuck is that?
A jet.
Fucking drops a bomb on us.
We'll see you guys on next one.
We should go we should dress up as Wolverine in Deadpool.
The fat version.
Yeah for Halloween.
I'll find a tailor that slaps my ass every time he puts his suit on.
He fucking checks the oil pressure too because he sticks his fingers in there.
God damn.
He turns the tire.
He shares the oil.
What's the word?
The oil level.
Yeah that's what they call it.
Checking the oil level.
He slapped his ass like three or four or five times.
And his ass jiggled.
I love when people.
Because I noticed that.
I noticed that.
I don't know why.
It's my nature right?
It's something that's boring.
Like the you remember the movie.
The second movie that Jordan Peele made.
What was it fucking called?
Not Get Out.
And it wasn't Nope.
It was the one in the middle.
Yeah.
When they're all clones right?
Or like they're yeah they're all clones basically.
They're all doppelgangers or something.
Was it them?
I can't remember.
It was us.
Us.
Hey us folks.
And I knew from the first scene that that little girl was the bad one.
That grew up to be the normal one.
And that the good girl that was that got a kill.
You've seen the movie right?
So basically this little girl goes underneath this building.
Spoilers.
Into this amusement park.
And she meets her.
It's all doppelgangers.
For whatever reason everyone has a doppelganger.
And they live underground.
And they eat rabbits and shit.
And they're all mute.
And she goes down there and her doppelganger finds her.
And the movie cuts out from there.
And then she's an adult with her family.
Her husband and two kids.
And they're going back to their hometown for vacation.
The same thing.
The pool.
It's like Staten Island.
Yeah.
Where's that place where like there's a river.
There's an ocean.
There's also like the fair.
I forgot what the location is.
Staten Island.
Is that it?
Yeah I think so.
Or like.
Or Coney Island.
Yeah that's it.
Coney Island.
It's like kind of like that.
Unless it actually is Coney Island.
Or somewhere else.
But it felt like it was somewhere else.
And not New York.
So they go there.
And the doppelgangers rise up.
Led by the woman.
The woman's doppelganger.
Like the moms.
And at the end of the movie.
It's found out that the good mom that was trying to help her kids.
Is actually the bad mom.
She was actually the clone from like a long time ago.
She had choked out the good girl.
Broke her throat.
Her larynx basically.
So she couldn't speak very well anymore.
Because she was talking.
Because none of them can talk.
None of the doppelgangers can talk.
Except for the leader.
The woman.
And it turns out the only reason she could talk was because she was born to talk.
She was the normal one.
But she had her throat cracked.
And the mom learned how to talk over time.
Being in the surface world.
Yeah.
And I saw that shit from a fucking mile away.
And the whole audience when they found out like that the mom was the actual bad clone.
I was like yeah.
And I'm like.
I'm like you all.
Are you serious.
Are you fucking.
Who didn't see this coming.
Exactly.
That's what I was thinking.
I'm like you guys.
Fucking get me.
Mostly when the screen goes dark in the beginning.
It's like okay yeah.
And it's solidified when they said like when she was a little girl.
She wasn't.
The parents were worried that she wasn't talking anymore.
I'm like oh.
What do you mean she's not talking anymore.
I'm assuming people assumed that she got so petrified.
About the doppelganger.
Yeah.
That she didn't stop.
And I was like no.
It's just the fucking bad girl.
Doesn't know how to talk.
Yeah.
So weird movie.
But I love his movies too.
So yeah when I first see them.
I started hearing people like they don't know it's the first slap.
But the third one they're like they start fucking giggling.
Because it's just so quick.
The first one's like quick as.
Oh I see it right away.
It's like.
Right.
Because it doesn't.
It's a slap ass thing grab.
It grabs the crotch.
And like he did that and he did it a lot.
So I said like four or five times.
I'm like that man is thirsty.
In between the montage of zipping up other bodies and stuff.
They would go back and slap in his ass and grab his crotch.
It makes it look like it was only the one time but they keep showing it.
Right.
And then when he goes out there to talk to the TVA guy Paradox.
It's yeah he's a predator.
But I love him for it.
Because oh he really did do it all those times.
That's what made it funnier for me.
That was wild.
Honestly they also were smart enough to give him adamantium blades.
Because when he fought Wolverine they would have been cut to shreds otherwise.
Smart choice of them.
Very very smart yes.
Him murdering Zendpool though for the only fucking Deadpool that can't fucking regenerate.
He doesn't even have a fight.
What does he have the weapons for?
I don't understand his fucking.
Golden plated desert eagle.
What do you need it for?
You don't even shoot or fight anybody.
But he's like he's behind him.
He's like hello.
Which is Ryan Reynolds just his normal face with the man but the long hair.
He's like what's your mascot like?
He looks just puts it in his face like come on.
You know the trolling was so high for the end credits.
I just remember there was actually one that said Deadpool Prime was supposed to be Ryan
Gosling.
And I'm like so they trolled the shit out of me because I thought I was waiting for
all these characters.
Where's Deadpool Prime?
And I'll give him Ryan Gosling takes his fucking helmet off.
He's like how's everybody doing?
I'm Ryan Gosling.
And then Deadpool or Ryan Reynolds is like oh my god it's Deadpool Prime.
Like the ending credit scene is only good if you're really paying attention to the other
parts of the movie.
It's not like if you miss it you missed everything type ending credit.
I gotta start remembering directors.
Directors of photography.
Man the screenwriters.
Because like I know the directors what I learned from reading like books on like film is like
the directors deal with the actors the director of photography deals with the actual placing
of the cameras and the film screenwriter is the screenwriter.
And like I just want to know the three.
That way I know like oh this movie was made by this director of photography so I know
it's gonna be good.
Because I have a story about a movie with Michelle Rodriguez.
She wears a bikini and watches it.
Of course I was gonna watch it.
He's got a bikini on.
I'm only a man.
You told me Michelle Rodriguez is the bikini of the whole movie I'm like I'm there today.
And it's called The Breed and it's about some dogs and some of those.
It's so.
I'll tell you about it on the next video.
For next week.
Talk about The Breed.
I'm just gonna tell you like little bits of movie stuff from or trivia that I'm a little
bit not trivia.
Yeah.
But stuff that I've noticed.
Like weird stuff that I remember for like I'll give you an example.
There's a movie called Live by Night written by Ben Affleck adapted from a book.
Same name.
In the L. Fanning one of the Fanning sisters.
I call them you know Dakota and L. Fanning famous to me anyway.
Yeah.
Film buff.
She's in the movie and she plays this rich girl.
Her father's like the senator or something.
Yeah.
So Ben Affleck's character it's like said 1920s.
It's prohibition and all this.
Or like a little bit after prohibition.
And the senator he wants the senator to give him a liquor license so he can open up his
glove his nightclub.
He won't give it to him because he's being paid off by a different mob group.
Right.
Like it's all mob groups.
And his daughter L wants to be an actress.
Right.
The dollar L. Fanning.
She wants to be an actress.
So she goes to Hollywood.
And a little bit later the father finds out that her daughter was been taken by like the
pornographers in 1920 and abused in all these adult movies.
So he's devastated.
And Ben Affleck's like don't worry if you give me the liquor license I'll bring your
daughter back.
Save us out.
So he brings the daughter back.
But now when she comes back and she's completely drugged out.
Like she's been you know alcohol, pills, cocaine.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I love cocaine.
Whatever drugs were out in 19.
I don't know whether drugs had 1920.
Yeah.
And like alcohol and pills I guess.
And so the dad being a religious man after after he gives the liquor license to Ben Affleck
they have this scene where he's trying to get the devil out of her.
Trying to get him back on the right track.
So he decides to whip her with a belt.
Like the old fashioned like spankings.
Right.
So he starts hitting her hard as fuck.
Like pa pa.
Like he starts slow at first.
Then he picks up speed as he gets because she's not being like affected.
But she's been so abused by the videos right.
That it's giving her an orgasm the more he spanks her.
So the fucking scene climaxes with him exhausted from whipping her and her having a fucking
mind breaking orgasm.
Like she's trying to bite her lip with her hand or shredding it with her finger.
Yeah.
To hold back because it's her father right.
And he's exhausted.
Like kick him to the devil's deep.
Deep in there.
And he's like let's skip this scene.
I'm like wow.
That's the fucked up thing.
Right.
That's the stuff I want to talk about.
This is whatever I've seen in movies I'm like wow that's odd.
Yeah.
I just want to talk about it.
But without having to talk about the whole movie.
Yeah.
Well that's what we have the cinema long for.
Exactly.
That's what I want to use it for.
But man it was because he's just fucking.
Then he picks up speed.
And she just because she at first she doesn't feel anything because she's so used to getting
spanked from the porn stuff right.
Yeah.
Then he started really hurting.
It's like oh now she's feeling something.
And I'm watching.
And I'm like what the fuck is that.
Because you don't think about it right.
But yeah she has a full blood orgasm.
Like the harder he hits her the harder she orgasms.
And that's how that scene ends.
The dad's just like disappointed himself like damn I can't hit her any harder.
And she's like fucking shaking arms like because she's bent over the bed.
Yeah.
On all fours.
And I'm just like let me rewind this and watch it again.
Just to make sure I saw what I think I saw.
No but it's stuff like that that always keeps with me.
Yeah.
There's another one.
Not like that.
But in terms of like the stuff that I've seen in movies.
This woman it's you ever seen the girl with the dragon tattoo.
I know which movie you're talking about.
I don't know why.
Like it was like all over fucking like it was like the movie like the Yip movie for
a long time right.
Not like the Yip movie.
I think I've seen clips of it.
I don't know if I've actually seen the full movie.
It's one of those movies that's like culturally I don't know how to explain it.
Like you know like the Da Vinci Code came out.
And everyone was talking about it.
It's like the same like that.
Yeah I remember.
I remember yeah.
Right.
There was a reboot a soft reboot a little bit years after that.
And this woman's trying to find this like a secret organization that's hurting people.
It's the same girl but it's a different actress.
Yeah.
And she talks to this guy that works like this like works at this hotel where like some
of the people go I think I can't remember exactly what happens.
And he's like you don't want to mess with these people.
You don't know what they'll do to you.
And like you want to see what they do to you.
So he fucking grabs his nose right.
And he does this like it unhooks.
And he takes his whole nose off.
And there's just a hole in front of his face.
That's what they did when they cut his nose off.
And like it's rated PG-13 or maybe horror I can't remember.
But it is the most horror like I've seen horror movies right.
That was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen.
Because he just takes his whole nose off and there's just a blank hole.
I'm just like.
Because it caught me by surprise and I was fucking like.
I wasn't expecting that.
Because that shit could really happen.
Somebody just cuts your nose off and you got a fake nose for the rest of your life.
And he's like you got to be kidding.
Look at my face.
I got sticks in my tongue.
I was like I was it was one of the things you never expected just came out of fucking
nowhere.
That's some true horror right there.
I was like put your fucking nose back on sir.
There are children here.
There wasn't but I was something because I was like man that shit made my stomach.
Plus they had another thing where like apparently her dad used to like sealing women in like
this latex like sealed.
Like they would take like a vacuum and seal it shut like vacuum sealed.
Like as it was like sexually erotic for him and for them right.
And she gets captured by somebody one of the organization and they do it to her.
They seal her in the and like I just like as a person right getting vacuum sealed and
lay out what you've seen that like or what I had a nervous fucking break.
There's people that are doing that for art now.
I can't where they have a pipe coming in my fucking claustrophobia.
So basically what happens is they have like a breathe and breath to coming through one
hand and then another tube going out the other way for the vacuum.
So you have constant fresh air but it's like they're calling it art where these people
are hanging in the middle of like like buildings just said it's scary.
Just like her getting sealed right because she gets captured and they do that as punishment
for her to try to kill it right.
It was like it was like I don't know how the actress would have done it.
They'd be like here's what you got to do in this movie.
Like I fucked that movie then.
Because like you know they got to do that in the movie right.
You can't really go around it because they have to vacuum seal her somehow.
Like it's all 100% safe with the stun coordination and everything right.
But for me like that in my claustrophobia I would have lost my mind.
Yeah it's just it's weird like.
Plus she was butt naked so she had to like the latex must have fucking rubbed her skin
raw.
It's like super weird though they're doing this shit like as art.
Oh no this was like black like nothing you couldn't see anything.
Yeah I'm just saying but they're doing that with like clear plastic too now it's weird.
Well people are wild.
People are freaks.
Their expression or their art expression is different than ours I guess.
Art now is uh it's very interpreted.
Yeah it's like it's not like Da Vinci you know painting something it's not like Michelangelo
painting the cathedral ceiling or anything.
No no no no no.
Now it's we put a bucket like buckets upon bucket of sand.
Poach the poke holes in all of them and just let them fall.
That's considered art now.
Why?
I don't know.
Okay.
It's art apparently.
It's like sure.
I think the only art the recent art that I've really liked was the uh.
I know what kind of art you like.
Well there was one with uh there's a machine that keeps trying to like it's losing oil.
So it keeps trying to put the oil back into its body.
Yeah and it keeps failing and eventually it dies.
Like it's like they call the futility of man or some shit I can't remember.
But that's at least okay like it makes sense.
So there's that one right and then there's the other one called the continental breakfast.
Why don't you look it up for yourself.
Oh sure.
I'll put it on youtube for you.
No no it's a video it's not a video it's just a picture.
I know I'll put it on youtube.
It's like oh.
Oh yeah go ahead.
Put it in continental breakfast art piece baby I can't remember.
Oh god.
Let's see what we got here.
Oh it comes up.
Let's see oh.
We're gonna tell you I'm a simple man.
Yeah yeah you are.
I know what she's trying to portray.
I know it's supposed to be something against like the uh uh patriarchy.
But even then I'm saying look parvati that has nothing to do with the patriarchy though.
Like putting women up like just like for our own uh enjoyment or what's up that I think.
Women do that to themselves too.
You've seen only fans.
I am only fans.
You're subscribed to every one of them.
Every single six billion of them.
No he's really a billionaire and he's just got no money left.
It's all spending poor dogs.
Except for them all.
I need them all.
He's like I've got subscriptions to everything.
How much for that chair?
How much for a naked woman on that chair?
Probably not very much.
Ask an only fans person for 50 bucks and they'll probably do it.
So one time I gotta watch a lot more movies to see a lot of a lot more like interesting
stuff.
Oh don't worry I'm sure you got quite a few things so so far.
Oh like over the years probably yeah.
I gotta write them down then.
Yeah that's what we have cinema lounge for though.
Yeah just to see how the cinema like yeah but like I guess mainstream.
Yeah or but we did we definitely had to put out a review though for the Wolverine Deadpool
stuff.
That we did because it was too good.
Yeah and well I'm pretty sure I had some enlightening things to say while I was half asleep.
See that's the upside it shows that we don't edit the videos.
It's like no we have we have the ramblings of no way as you saw.
It turns me a hundred percent in time.
What the fuck was I say?
Oh I'll play back later don't worry.
You'll hear.
What the fuck am I talking about?
Doers in a gold retriever and like you saw him a ball right but they never go for the
ball.
You're like what the fuck.
How long was I out for?
It was fading in and out for a little while but we're good now.
You're awake now.
I am now but like earlier I was like how long was like 20 minutes I was drowsy.
Oh fuck.
Let me in now.
That was the second one where he's fucking screaming.
He's actually saying stuff.
But that's all I do like when I like.
Oh Nicolas Cage you are a treasure.
Yeah there's only one actor like him.
It's fine they didn't put him in Deadpool.
I'm Cagepool.
That would be fun.
Hey are we gonna face off?
Let's get a face off.
They're all Deadpool so you know.
Yeah I still think I didn't I didn't know who Ladypool was.
I thought it was Blake Lively but they never showed her face.
No they never did.
Might not be.
I'm pretty sure the cowboy one was Sam Rockwell.
I know that voice anywhere.
The guy that played Hammer in the second Iron Man movie.
Yeah.
I think that was him.
Or at least his voice.
Hey partner.
That was a good one.
That was a good Deadpool too.
Yeah.
What was it like?
It was like Cowpugpool or something.
And then you had the samurai one.
You had the monk one.
You had.
Had a lot of Deadpools.
Yeah.
You had that little girl Deadpool that he said Deadpool said that was the dirtiest one of
them all.
Yeah.
She was like said the nastiest shit.
They just called her Girlpool.
That's Girlpool.
She's the dirtiest of them all.
Like oh lord.
She's really bad.
And they were all in the void.
Yeah.
They all had to go there.
Why did I still understand Zenpool's stick.
I understand like he's got the weapon so what.
It doesn't make any sense to me.
His university must not like there must not be really any violence.
I guess not because he's just like he's so chill.
Hi.
Hi guys.
I see you found my dog.
You took your eyes off for a minute and she's just gone.
Deadpool's like who the fuck are you.
Wife getting tongue.
That dog was licking his mouth.
And they made sure that wasn't Wolverine looking at him like what though.
Yes.
He's like huh.
Why are you letting the dog lick shit like that.
Because you hear nothing from Logan the entire time.
Just getting tongue like by the dog.
That dog had a long tongue.
So that shit was going deep in his throat.
Yes.
So I got to write down live by night.
I got to rewatch it so I can remember how it was.
Man that shit was wild.
His fucking father spanking the hell out of him.
That's the worst.
This is the only way I can say my daughter.
Instead of getting her psychological help right.
Like with a psychiatrist.
She decided to spank the evil out of her.
That was his fucking option.
He didn't even do a good enough job because she was fucking in love with that shit.
She was also not because it's her father.
It's such a weird like.
It's like a paradox.
Yeah.
Like it just forced it out of her because the spanking was the trigger.
But the fact that it was her father was like the hindrance.
So she was like oh lord.
Well I'm going back to sleep.
Well you might after this long next four hours.
It's possible.
I gotta go see Lord Legs.
What time does your movie start?
I don't know.
He said at nitamater 6.
I'm like if I feel like it.
Yeah if I feel like it.
All right well let's go into our character spotlight for the week.
All right.
Uh we have a couple different characters this time.
We have Lucifer Morningstar.
We also have Michael and then we have the presence.
You're in the movie?
Yeah yes I am.
Awesome.
I am in the movie.
Mr. Royalties.
I get pennies.
Let me in now.
I get pennies for thousands of views.
Yeah that's true.
All right first character that we got is Lucifer Morningstar.
Very famous from the show Lucifer.
Also very famous for the Bible.
Yes just alone.
This is the DC version obviously.
Full name is Lucifer Morningstar formerly known as Samael.
So before his fall.
He is a fallen demiurgic archangel.
This is a species.
What's demiurgic?
Demiurgic means earth created or earth material made angel.
So he's not like he's not the presence basically.
Like he was made from something.
So he's actually physically formed.
Yeah.
He's kind of like he's still a multiversal character.
But he was created by somebody above him which is the presence.
His place of origin was heaven.
He is he also has Lucifer's creation and hell.
A team affiliations are Loki, Amenadiel, Mezekin, Amenadiel, Cain, Abel, Elaine Bellic.
Let's see here.
He's known as the light bringer, Satan, the lord of lies, the devil, the prince of the
east, the morning star, the sun lighter of God, the adversary and old scratch.
Old scratch?
Yeah.
Huh.
Old scratch.
So in the earlier related series the Sandman written by Neil Gaiman.
Lucifer abandoned his lordship over hill.
While Lucifer had previously appeared in various stereotypical guises in the earlier DC comic
books, Gaiman's version was premised on the English poet and prose writer John Milton's
Paradise Lost.
Okay.
So that's where he comes from and the idea comes from.
At Gaiman's request of the artist, Lucifer looks like David Bowie at the time.
Jesus.
That's why he's got the blonde shorter hair and the Sandman.
Lucifer had ruled over hell for 10 billion years after rebelling three seconds after
creation.
Damn, he didn't waste any time.
Three seconds.
Let me tell you how to run this place real quick.
Over that time, he had manipulated the various demons of hell against each other, provided
a place for dead mortals to be tormented and led a war against heaven.
However, at some point during his rule, he had become bored with his existence.
He became tired of the various stereotypes and prejudices that mortals held over the
devil, such as the idea that he purchased and traded for souls, which was largely untrue
and that he forced mortals to commit evil acts.
He had become tired of his reign over hell and felt it an unfair punishment and that
he should have to rule over there forever simply because he had rebelled.
It's the woe is me, poor Gielo, only from the devil instead of from, you know.
I didn't know it would be consequences to my actions.
This is bullshit.
Basically, yes.
Yes, that was the whole point.
In the Sandman story, Seasons of Myths, Lucifer expels all the demons and damsels from hell
before closing hell's gates and handing over the key of hell.
Did you ever get the fuck out?
He just fucking throws them out.
Where are we supposed to go?
I don't give a fuck.
And he handed the key of hell to Dream of the Endless, the title character of the Sandman
series.
Eventually, control over hell was handed over to two angels, Duma, the Angel of Silence,
and Remiel, sent over those who rise, while Lucifer simply retired to earth, initially
to Perth, Western Australia, and later to LA.
By the end of the series, however, it is revealed that hell was not a punishment, but a gift.
Being the furthest possible place from the throne of light, Lucifer could be separated
from God as far as possible.
Lucifer never created the physical features of hell.
Hell created itself around him.
So it made itself into flames and brimstone?
Yes, because of the way he is, not because he created hell.
It's like it just formed around him, like the idea of hell itself.
And it was the furthest place from God that God could send him.
Jesus.
It's like, oh, you want to rebel and you don't want to be around me?
Fine.
Fucking get the hell out of here.
So Lucifer was the main character of an eponymous series that ran for 75 issues, plus the Lucifer
Nirvana one-shot.
From June 2000 to August 2006, the entire run was said to, let's see, the entire run
of which was written by Mike Carey.
To Carey, the essence of the character was, in his words, we play safe, most of us do
most of the time, but Lucifer doesn't know the meaning of safe.
And he never bothers to look down at the tram lines.
He does, however, and whatever the hell he likes, picks his fights where he finds them
and generally wins, following his own will and his own instincts to the very end of the
line, no matter what the obstacles are.
So in the series, Lucifer runs a piano bar.
Kind of like somewhere, you know, make money somehow.
Right?
It's called Lux in Los Angeles.
So basically like the TV show.
Okay.
Lucifer is portrayed as a sophisticated and charming man in accordance with the stereotypical
gentleman devil.
The theme of the Lucifer series revolves around the free will problem.
Carey's Lucifer is a figure representing the will and individual willpower who challenges
the tyranny of predestination.
While in heaven's eyes, this is a blasphemy, Lucifer points out that the rebellion and
indeed all sin and damnation are consequences were pre-planned by his creator God.
Lucifer rejects God's rule and moral philosophy as tyrannical and unjust.
The violent, aggressive, totalitarian, vengeful and dictatorial aspects of heaven's rule are
represented mostly by the archaic or by the angel Amenadiel, who has a particular hatred
of Lucifer and leads attacks of various kinds against him.
The attacks includes verbal criticism.
Oh, that's hurt so much.
Especially in the host of heaven, basically in attacks of him.
As well as challenging him to individual combat.
Almost all of it without the slightest care for the countless innocent, unwilling and
unwitted victims that he is more than willing to sacrifice for his own pride.
For his part, Lucifer disdains Amenadiel, treating the latter's emotional outbursts
with contempt and repeatedly defeats Amenadiel's assaults with well-orchestrated hidden plans.
Ironically, however, it is often difficult to discern when Lucifer acts as a slave to
predestination and when he effectively acts according to his own free will.
So it's like, is it free will?
Is it predestination?
You can't really tell because it's kind of the same thing.
Final destination where you all die.
Elaborate codes of conduct and schemes of entrapment based on those codes are vital
elements of the DC Vertigo magical universe.
Lucifer appears as a master of these arts.
In an encounter during the first Sandman story arc, a weakened Dream outsmarts Lucifer.
Lucifer first swears revenge on Dream, but later comes to accept Dream's critique of
his role and his project as Lord of Hell.
This inspires Lucifer's abdication, a vital element of the Sandman saga and the point
of departure to the Lucifer series.
For Lucifer, his word is his bond.
As David Easterman, a character who sees himself as a victim of Lucifer, puts it, when the
devil wants you to do something, he doesn't lie at all.
He tells you the exact literal truth and he lets you find out, you find your own way to
hell, which is kind of a kind of true.
Like the devil's not going to lie to you.
He's going to omit truth.
It's not, it's not going to be a flat out lie.
Usually despite his theological title as Lord of lies, refusal to lie is central to the
moral position of the character.
He sees himself as a neutral or a moral facilitator of forces within the individuals and Lucifer
actively and effectively combats what he regards as corrupting moral codes.
While he avoids lying, his morality seldom extends to compassion and Lucifer regards
the sacrifice of millions of millions of souls as unborn collateral damage.
There are few, if any, beings that he respects and even fewer for whom he cares.
As the series opened in 2000, Lucifer's restful retirement was disturbed by a series of associates
from his past.
After various catalytic, uh, yeah, uh, catalytic events, he endeavored to create a universe
in competition with and presumably against the wishes of his father, Yahweh.
This puts him on a close.
Yahweh the, the, the, the poor, the age, the Hentai?
Yahweh?
Not Yahweh, Yahweh.
Yahweh.
You remember, you remember the- Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Not Yahweh.
I fucking love those episodes of South Park.
Not Boy Low?
Where they try, they try so hard to get tweaked, craiged to get together.
And then they eventually do.
And then they break up and like they breaks everyone's heart.
Yeah, where the Asian girls are painting pictures of them walking away from each other.
Yeah, I was like, oh man, why can't they just love each other?
Why do they gotta do this to each other?
You know, this is the, uh, the Yahweh of YWHW.
I was so invested in them being together.
I know you were.
This puts him on a collision course with several powerful mystical entities that have a vested
interest in the new collision creation and draws the angelic host into the fray, including
his brother, the archangel Michael Diomurgos and his niece, Elaine Bullock.
The series paralleled the Sandman and Silver Waste with epic fantasy stories being told
in arc separated by one shot episodes depicting a smaller, more personal tale.
Unlike the Sandman, the series has a consistent art team in Peter Gross and Ryan Kelly with
most of the odd issues illustrated by Dean Ormston.
Let's see here.
The series entered in 2006 with issue number 75 and has thus been collected into 11 books
with one shot issue Lucifer Nirvana published as a smaller graphic novel.
When Lucifer ventures outside of creation, he sees something resembling the comics pages
themselves.
At the end of the Lucifer story arc, God and the devil are no longer part of the universe
and a former human, Elaine Bullock, is instead presiding over it.
Elaine Bullock, that's an odd name.
Yep.
It's Lucifer's daughter.
How?
Sorry, it's Michael's daughter but Lucifer is her uncle.
New concepts for the heaven and hell are created, inspired and influenced by other human or
superhuman characters in the story.
The new situation is described on several occasions by the following cherubs, Gaudium
and Sparra.
In essence, it is growing up, i.e. the need to find one's own truth and values without
being directed by parents, elders, teachers, authority figures, etc.
So Lucifer himself, his whole identity having been forged by that same motive, scoffs at
his father's final offer, to merge their beings, described by God as a potlatch, so that they
can finally understand one another's perspective.
As this would be the final expression of God's will, even when delivered from outside the
plan as he puts it, Lucifer finds the ultimate expression of his own defiant will by refusing
the bargain and traveling beyond his father's influence into the undefined void.
Basically outside of the DC universe where he leaves the entire universe.
I bet Marvel won't be this bad for me if he dips into Marvel.
Wouldn't that be hilarious?
Just fuck up Mephisto.
They sickly bought one of the DC characters to show up in Marvel.
What's up?
Mephisto is like the Marvel devil, aside from the one below all.
Fuck Mephisto.
But Lucifer would fuck him up to no end.
Play nice house you got here.
Just boom.
So during the New 52, the New 52 rebooted DC's continuity.
In this new timeline, Lucifer is much more influenced by traditional Christian theology.
He is depicted as a malevolent, sadistic, and cunning fallen angel who is the ruler
of hell and seeks to possess human souls.
He is held with great respect and fear by the denizens of hell who serve and obey him
like a king.
Lucifer himself, however, is mostly bored with his existence whenever a group known
as the Demon Knights are captured by him during the middle ages and passes the time by finding
small amusements such as watching the struggles and falls of Etrig and the Demon.
Like, haha, you failed again.
Lucifer made a more physical appearance in Eye of Empire number 19.
After being tipped by John Constantine, I guess supposed to be tripped, tricked by John
Constantine into destroying Kane.
Lucifer immediately sentences Kane and drags him into hell.
The way being claimed to be him has appeared in the modern age of DC comics to the superhero
Deadman.
So it's a weird, like, kinda, since we've been using the word a lot today, paradox.
So basically, the new 52 fucked him over again.
You know, like, it did all, like, that's gonna be a running theme with these character spotlights
that we do.
The new 52 fucked up a lot of comics.
Like, Lucifer went from being, like, an almost omniscient, omnipotent being to, eh, he's
just a, you know, like a little bitch.
Can't really do nothing, stuck in hell, hates it, trading souls.
So I don't allow you here.
Yeah.
So, uh, powers and ability.
Lucifer is continuously described as a celestial being of incalculable power due to his dominion
over the very substance and knowledge of the formation of creation.
Through his understanding, Lucifer can shape the matter and foundation of the creation
into anything he can imagine, including matter, energy, and more abstract concepts such as
time.
He once shaped the Big Bang energies released by the death of his brother Michael into a
new universe.
In some ways, this makes him the most disadvantaged, though, not the weakest.
But the higher host, uh, of the higher angelic host.
He needs existing matter to provide the foundation for him to shape.
He may choose to temporarily abandon his powers, including his immortality.
In the story titled Lilith, it is logically implied that God could destroy him at his
own whim anytime he wants to.
Which makes Lucifer sometimes wonder why he does not, has not dealt with him basically
already.
Like, why is he letting me live?
I'm like, he could fucking just destroy me, why had he?
Wait, I gotta gray.
I gotta gray thing.
I gotta gray thing for you to add to the video for that.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Pause this video.
All right, guys, we just have a good addition to the YouTube video.
Uh, he is so dangerous and unpredictable that even death does not apply to him.
He is also able to draw out a human's deepest desires, but due to his own belief, a simple
man, big teeth, big ass, you know what you desire.
But due to his belief in free will, he allows them to choose whether or not they should
act on them.
Even if they make the choice of an, uh, at an unconscious level, Lucifer always tells
the truth, but makes it like other tricks or deities and spirits will sometimes conveniently
omit the key details to fool others into doing it.
Oh, so he will let you read the fine print.
Yeah.
I see article 17, section three, you forgot to read this part.
Yeah.
It will be only pro 47 times in one day.
Yes.
So he doesn't lie, but he won't tell you the whole truth.
So like, it's kind of like this right here.
So he's a lawyer.
Yeah.
So basically it'll be like this pill will fix your erectile dysfunction, but it doesn't
tell you it becomes a heart attack.
I can give you a vagina.
You're like, Oh, Oh, see you, you don't have a dick.
So you don't have a rest of this function.
And he's like, there's a fucking, he does like the shotgun gun.
I would be fucking lit.
But that's basically, you know, like he'll lie.
He won't lie.
Technically he'll just omit the truth a little bit.
You know, he has never without the formidable resources of his brilliant intellect and his
unbending will or inner strength, which allowed him to defy and confront his father as well
as as well as many other formidable opponents without fear or doubt.
Although Lucifer's overt exercise of power is a limited in the books, he is, uh, if he
is provoked by violence, his preference seems to be to use fire and light as a weapon.
His original role was God's lamp lighter.
So not the boys, uh, watching all his pornography before he blows his fuck.
He just lights himself on fire.
Self emulates.
Yeah, basically.
In which he used his will to condense clouds of hydrogen into star masses and set them
alight.
As terrifying as they are brief battles with Lucifer usually began and end with him drawing
down the flames of a superheated main sequence star and incinerating to ash anything in the
immediate area.
Beyond his godly powers as an archangel, Lucifer possesses the common powers appropriate to
an archangel of his position.
So superhuman strength, superhuman durability, flight, acidic blood, which is weird.
Uh, alien from aliens.
Basically another way to look at it is he bleeds willpower as depicted as he reaches
Yggdrasil and the wolf beyond the tree or beneath the tree series arc.
He also possesses a devastating sonic cry telepathy and the, uh, and the power to speak
to and understand animals.
In addition, he is a cycle pump being able to bring back, uh, from death, any individual
who he himself has slain.
So if he kills you, he can bring you back, which is really fucked up.
And we're not even going to the new 52 because nobody cares about the new 52 stuff.
At least I'm going to assume most people don't.
Except for Dan DiDio, he's the only one that cared about the new 52.
Next person in the character spotlight is Michael DiMaregic, which is the archangel
Michael.
Uh, he was created by Neil Gaiman.
He is a Demiurgic archangel, uh, origin, originated from the silver city or heaven, uh, notable
aliases, uh, the archangel Michael, Saint Michael.
So he's got to everybody knows who archangel Michael is in the biblical sense almost.
So when the, uh, DiMaregic archangel Lucifer Morningstar began his revolt in heaven, he
was hopelessly outnumbered.
He was eventually defeated by his brother, Demiurgic archangel Michael, who used the
Demiurgos, God's power to destroy his angelic forces.
However, during the aftermath of the attack, a fallen angel named Sandal Fawn thrust his
spear into Michael's back and took him captive into a pocket reality.
Are you cold motherfucker?
Are you back?
You damn son of a bitch.
There, Michael was chained to a very large pillar where Seld- uh, Seld- uh, Sandal Fawn
attempted to create a new generation of warrior angels.
All angels are sterile and thus their numbers are not easily repopulated.
Wait.
You didn't know that?
No, like the way, so you wait, she started fucking the hell out of him?
How do you, how do you, why she just run a train on this poor man?
He's just like, please no more.
I really don't.
So basically- I did that fake like, no, please, no, no, no, slap it a little.
So basically, uh, Sandal Fawn used Michael's, uh, Demiurgic power-
Dick, his cock.
Let's just, let's just say- To impregnate human women.
But this is where it gets weird.
And then gestating the fetus, the fetuses inside of Michael himself.
What is the weird part?
But they're gestating in him.
I don't understand.
So he's a seahorse.
Yes.
He produced thousands of failures before creating the late-
He's falling out of his ass with the fire.
It doesn't say.
I really wish the writer would think about the stuff they talked about.
Where did, where did they come out of, sir?
Yes.
So Elaine Bellack is the one that survives, uh, with her 300 viable ova.
Jesus Christ.
Just as he attempted to claim Elaine, however, Lucifer stepped in.
So Sandal Fawn was a man.
Thousands of years later.
Yes.
So easily defeating the cowardly fallen angel Sandal Fawn.
Wait, so this guy would just bring women to, to Michael.
Yes.
And they would just get fucking busy.
Yeah.
And then he would just take the fetus?
No, I think like technically in the actual comic books, he basically taps his power and
impregnates the women with the power and then gestates the fetuses inside of Michael.
All right.
Yeah.
So the sexiest.
So Sandal Fawn's easily defeated.
Lucifer took Michael, who never bore animosity towards his brother and used him as a means
to end the then ongoing assault by the heavenly host against his own.
Lucifer had obtained a letter of passage outside of creation due to an earlier arrangement
with heaven.
The subsequently door, uh, subsequent doorway had been intended to be a one way and one
time only, but Lucifer bounded open with Yahweh, God's own name.
Yahweh.
Uh, to destroy the door would take, uh, would be to unmake creation.
Unable to allow this, the heaven host, uh, heavenly host had laid siege to Lucifer's
home in his absence.
Arriving with Michael, the host was instantly defeated.
If Lucifer were to kill Michael there, the demiurgic power would wash over creation,
wiping it clean of all life.
The host receded.
Michael, however, remained suffering and awaiting the death promised him by his brother, Lucifer.
The injured Michael was taken through Lucifer's gate into Nihilo.
Nothing less.
Can I ruin something for everybody?
Uh, spoilers for the, uh, that new series that Justice League, Infinity Crisis or whatever,
the three parter, uh, that, that like destruction wave that keeps, in the second movie, it never
stops.
So they consider, they constantly have to keep re revamping the machines to let, let
the wave recede a little bit.
No, it just washes over them.
Okay.
Or they become intangible so they're not hit by it.
Yeah.
And it's like, it's like, it's like continuous cause they find out it's the anti-mutter.
In movie three, I found out from clips on TikTok that, uh, you know, the original Batman
animated universe animated series, the original, like the original Batman animated series,
you know, the fucking gold standard, right?
It's one of the worlds that gets washed away.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Destroyed.
Justice League, Unlimited universe too.
Which side is the same universe?
What?
That's the same universe as Batman.
That's what I thought too.
But apparently that they, they take both of them.
Is there like separate cause like it's hot guy.
It's it's a, it's a hot girl from the unlimited and it's, it's a, I know it's the unlimited
series because it's a Hal Jordan or not Hal Jordan.
It's Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart.
But with a bald head cause he had a bald head in the, uh, in unlimited and not in the original
Justice League.
But for some reason they take the Batman's like, I think they split them cause they wanted
to make it do like the like the forties because the original Batman was like older and they
wanted to make this.
So they split the universes in continuity wise and they both get wise destroyed.
So that none of them exist now.
And Joker's like, so what do you want to do Batman?
I want to go out like I always do.
Biddy you Joker.
And he knocks Joker out as the way he kills both of them.
Cause there's nothing he could do.
I'm just, I'm watching, but it doesn't make any sense cause the Batman Beyond is supposed
to be set along with the Justice League, along with the Superman animators and they're all
good and they're all good.
You monsters, you did it.
You took everything.
So then I don't know if they want to do like an actual full complete new slate and just
like reboot the whole animated series like once and for all, which I'll respect.
Right.
If you're going to take it, take it big then.
But if they do something stupid after this, I'm going to be mad as hell.
Cause they just wiped out Justice League.
So now none of that stuff matters.
That means Batman Beyond's gone.
He doesn't no longer, Static Shock's gone.
Justice League Unlimited, Superman animated series, Batman animated series, they're all
no longer in existence from what the clips look like.
I could be wrong.
They could revamp them or return them in like a reverse time in the end of the movie.
I don't know.
But if what they're doing is going to destroy everything and rebuild and reboot the entire
DC animated universe, I respect it.
If not, you're just wasting my damn time.
And they probably wasted your time.
Because if they took away Batman and the original, do you have a Ken, Kevin Conroy Batman and
the fucking Mark Hamill, that was them, them two fist fight on a roof when the fucking
wave runs over him.
I'm like, okay, you kill them.
You have fucking Hawkeye and Green Lantern make analogous.
Is it baby?
The fucking wave hits them too.
Okay.
So you're going to destroy everything and have the heroes lose.
And then you're going to get us, that means you're going to reboot the whole series.
Like every animated thing now becomes discontinuity or a...
Like all the continuity is ended.
Uncannoned.
Yeah.
And they restart a new universe.
Like this is a new DC animated universe completely free from everything else that's ever been
made.
Right.
Fucking Batman, Bold and the Brave, everything.
The Green Lantern shows, just everything.
Like the fucking...
If they do that, I'll respect them for it.
Like there's at least a little bit of respect to that.
Cause they're going to do a brand new, and I haven't followed the brand new animated
series from here on out.
You know, all the Harley Quinn stuff is like out of canon cause it's all cartoony stuff.
Yeah.
But we'll see.
If that's what the clip means to me, I could be dead wrong.
It could be nothing.
And they just fix it.
Now there's only one timeline.
The sacred timeline.
So they got fucking Jensen Echols, another voice for Batman in the movie.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Well he's one of the ones that's like...
Cause he played Redhead as well.
Yeah.
That's a weird part.
In his, he never trained Dick Grayson.
He even says one of the like, good thing I gave him to the orphanage.
Or like, he's like, no, cause he's talking to a Robin, right?
Cause in their universe, Batman had died.
Yeah.
So he's like, I guess I made the right choice when I put you to the orphanage.
I'm like, oh, that's cold blooded Batman.
They start fucking having a fist fight.
I would too.
I say, don't you ever say that about my dad.
But we'll see.
I'll keep an eye on it when the third one drops.
It's still not on Mac.
And I'm not paying 30 bucks to watch it on Amazon.
Yeah.
I can wait.
Yeah.
I got the pages of a monk and the cock of a porn star.
Cause I don't know what the...
It makes no fucking sense, but that's my life.
We know what kind of genre you're going into.
We know what kind of man you are.
You ever seen that meme?
It's from some Walking Dead where the character Shane played by John Bernenthal, I think.
He had killed somebody and this old guy, Dale knows he did, but he can't prove it.
So he just looks at him like, I know what kind of man you are.
And so it'll be like, the caption will be like, when your friend like screenshots some
scene from a game, right?
Like where the girls like moving this way, right?
Or like when they buy specific games that they know as like weird, like hentai porn
games, like I know what kind of man you are.
We'll put your picture and it's like, we know what kind of man you are.
It'll be like the, when you're like, I find my friend's like secret Skyrim nude file.
So like the mods, right?
It's like, I know what kind of man you are.
It's always been in a disgusted way.
I know what kind of man you are.
I love that meme.
That is a good meme though.
You keep reading that and I'll pull one up for you.
So basically Lucifer takes Michael through Lucifer's gate to Nihilo, which is nothingness
where Michael thrust a sword into him and releases the demirotic power inside of Michael,
creating his very own cosmos.
Having acquired the demirgic power over this new cosmos, Lucifer reconstituted the archangel
Michael after the event, but Michael refused Lucifer's offer to stand at his side.
This is a theme throughout the cosmos as the archangel Michael is always offered a form
of partnership with his brother Lucifer, but often refuses.
Michael is seen as a patient and kind, but not someone who will stand by and watch injustice
and evil.
Initially, he is stubborn and following the will of God, but later begins to have doubts.
Having been ejected from heaven for questioning God's wisdom and ordering the death of his
daughter, Elaine Belloq.
He travels either alone or with the cherub, Galdium.
Michael's half-human angel daughter, Elaine Belloq, plays a more prominent role as the
Lucifer series continues.
Initially guarded in her feelings for her, Michael begins to feel genuine affection and
love for her, which is compounded whenever Lucifer, having been nearly fatally injured
by the Bassanos, is given regeneration by the death sacrifice of Elaine.
Events take a very serious turn after issue 50 whenever Fenris the Wolf attempts to destroy
the world tree Yggdrasil and upset the balance of creation.
Having been wounded very badly in this fight against the archangel Lucifer, acting against
his own will, Michael tells the now revived Elaine that he loves her and wishes that he
could have known her better, saying that she must be the holder of the Demiurgus power
before he is allowed to die.
Michael is one of the only two angels that Lucifer has respect for, the other being Duma,
and is seen as the other side of the coin for Lucifer.
The Morningstar himself says that each has what the other lacks.
He is tall with very long blonde hair and has two white wings, and he is very powerful
when moved whenever he is angry.
Unlike Lucifer, he won't use creatures as pawns, like some on a chessboard, and thus
has the humanity that Lucifer sometimes appears to lack.
At his death, the two brothers share forgiveness as he passes on.
Lucifer was not close to his daughter, and one of his last acts is to voice regret not
to have known her better.
Here's one.
You guys know what I'm talking about?
I get it already, right?
What are you doing with those powers?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah.
He's gonna goon.
Yeah.
Real bad too.
I know.
You're a good boy.
I know what kind of man you are.
When he wants time stop and invisibility powers and all the...
Mind control.
And mind- I know what kind of man you are.
That's a good one.
I love those.
So following his death, Elaine is just about able to absorb the power and is placed by
Yahweh on the road to become the new ruler of creation.
So Michael's powers.
power is known to be the only matched by his brother Lucifer and surpassed only
by God. His greatest power is the demiurgic power that allows creation out
of nothingness that is contained within him. Wielding it, Michael is able to
defeat his brother Lucifer and banish him from heaven after his rebellion.
He's like, just get out. So basically, Michael can create stuff, Lucifer can
mold it. Like the two of them together created the universe under the
guidance of God. But like Michael can create stuff but he can't form it into
what he wants. But Lucifer can form stuff and change stuff but he can't create it.
Hmm. So together they're like, damn that's crazy. Isn't that weird? So like all
archangels, Michael is immortal and possesses super strength, super speed,
invulnerability, sonic cry, flight, acidic blood, telepathy, and the power to speak
to all animals. However, as we see... They're randomly specific. It's like you speak to
all animals. Okay, what? Which means that he can basically speak to any human too.
Any language and any... like he can speak any language for the most part. However,
as we see in the comic books, Michael is regarded as the highest and mightiest of
God's created beings. He is said to have the power to end the war in heaven and
destroy the angelic armies called the hosts of heaven. As a demiurgic angel,
archangel, he can do anything with the powers given to him by the presence. As
that power is said to give him the power to do only things God can do like make
creation or sustain by rendering every atom of creation. So he can like on the
subatomic level change shit. Hmm. His powers is what built multiverse and
maintains its balance under Yahweh's name. He is supposedly above Lucifer
being a demiurgic second only to God and given the role only to create so his
brother can shape. Michael is the direct expression of power defined in a form of
an angel capable of creating or ending an endless creation. He is essentially
omnipotent as his powers are the very power of God himself. So it's like God is
a higher being than Michael or Lucifer but he can literally create anything. You
just can't shape it. Demiurgos, he can rival Lucifer wanting to start
power and even at times exceed the willpower of the Morningstar. As these
powers give him the ability to do anything near the scope of Yahweh and
put him above the endless and even Lucifer. He can use an ability ranging
from concepts to full to even full abstraction as he is created the physical
laws overseen by the council of the first circle. He is known as the archon
and can shore up creation from destruction and when moved to anger is
powerful enough to take on the host and even stand against the presence. So like
he's the only one that can he literally is like whenever they say I'm that
person. You're not that guy pal. You're not that guy. He is that guy. He is that guy.
He also bonded the specter force before when Ostra repented for his sins and
whatever the spirit of vengeance was looking for Jim Corgan. So Michael is the
one that did that. Michael has powers that are infinitely higher than the
Lords of Order and commands the entire host above Zahrael and the other ruler
of the regiment known as the Paxi Dexii. Paxi Dexii. Yep. Michael also can
destroy anything as his power is the torch that not only forges but destroys
greater than beings such as the Anti-Monitor, Perpetua and Pariah. The
Anti-Monitor. So just at a glance he could wipe the Anti-Monitor out of
existence which is kind of weird because we were just talking about the Anti-Monitor.
But ain't that wild. Hell, this stuff always works out. Yeah. Michael Demiurge's power
does not have a limitation to hit only himself to not specifically shape the
material he generates as the road goes to Morningstar. Elaine Bellac, Michael's
daughter, is capable of shaping and creating without issue. Both are the only
beings that can create infinite structures from absolutely nothing.
Nothing short of Yahweh can beat Michael in the DC Universe and he is a
Demiurge and creator of the physical universe for that reason. So basically
like he's literally second to God only. Which now we go into. Our third spotlight
for this week is the presence. The God of the DC Universe. He was created in 1940
in Morphin comics. Damn 1940 huh. When the Spectre came out around that time
because you had to have the presence to create the Spectre. He's also known as
Yahweh, Jehovah, and Elohim. Yahweh. So basically the same the same words used
to describe him in like the actual world. He's God? He's literally God. Did they
ever use that or is that just not okay? But they refer him more as the presence
just because they don't want to bring like true religion in. Right. Like they
boy they go as close to the dam line as you possibly can of saying that God is
like the God. Like the Christian Judeo-Christian God. The religious
cosmology of the DC Universe is complex with many other pathions and deities
coexisting alongside of each other. It involves elements from multiple
religions, mythologies, and modern created concepts such as the Endless. It is not
always clear how the Abrahamic God fits into this for example. One particular
Wonder Woman storyline featured the Greek Titans fighting Abrahamic angels and
Hindu gods. So basically the writer of this said the sort of unspoken rule is
that the DCU in the DCU is that God sits above all the others. So above the Greek
gods, the Roman gods, any of the other ones, the presence is the God.
Okay. DC superhero comic books or comics have always drawn upon Abrahamic
religions for plot elements. The first appearance of the voice was in the 1940
origin of the specter, like I said earlier. But they have traditionally used
surrogate concepts and names rather than referring to the Abrahamic deity directly.
The comics published into the Comics Code a set of ethical guidelines drawn up
in the 1950s in reaction to the anti comic book hysteria. The code does not
explicitly refer to a God but does say that ridicule or attack of any religious
or racial group is never permissible. And that's the reason why they don't just
say God. So that's when we changed it. Okay. Yeah the Comics Code basically... Damn
Comics Code fucked up everything for a long time. Right. So later revisions of
the code are phrased in terms of respecting religious beliefs and
religious institutions which may account for the comics hesitancy when dealing
with the word God in the actual comic books. Right. He is the Abrahamic God but
they can't just say God because they have to say all religions in the comic
books. The lack of central doctrine means that multiple aspects of God have been
introduced by different writers. Significant examples of God's surrogates
include the voice which is the disembodied voice of the presence that
spoke to and empowered Jim Corrigan as the specter. This is the most active
version of God seen in the comic books. At one point it even answers the specter's
prayers by resurrecting the murdered Justice Society of America. When the
voice uttered the first word it created the word and it was already being
tracked by destiny in his book. So that's the word? Like it's the word like
quotation marks the word. Is it the bird? Is the bird the word?
Buh buh buh bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird bird.
Also another interpretation is the hand. Oh God. We catch this hand. You want to catch all these
hands. An image of a hand appearing out of a nebula has been referenced in
numerous times in different DC comics as a metaphor for the creator or the
mystery that exists at the moment of a universal creation. However the identity
of the being whom the hand belongs to varied over time. It is first seen in
Green Lantern number 40 and Thanat's tale. It was revealed to be an illusion
created by the Guardians to prevent investigation into the beginning of the
universe. In Crisis on the Infinite Earths the hand has turned into a
predestination paradox as the hand of the villainous anti-monitor who tried to
rearrange all existence to its starting point but failed. The hand was later seen
reaching down from heaven to embrace the invading great evil beast and stated to
be the hand of God by Etrigan. The idea was visually called back in DC Rebirth
whenever a hand was seen reaching through time to change history. The true
identity of the one manipulating this timeline was later revealed to be Dr.
Manhattan. So it's changed what the hand reaching through time is. It's also been
like that basically the arm wrestle between the anti-monitor and the specter
at the beginning of time. So there's also the source. The source is a universal
spirit from Jack Kirby's fourth world cosmology. Like where there's the source
wall and stuff like that. There's also the presence. The presence is an unseen
Abrahamic deity that Grant Morrison's fictional angel mythology. We also have
Wally in parentheses. A being claiming to be a manifestation of God
appears in the form of a young boy wearing a baseball cap. He first appears
in Peter David's Linda Danvers Supergirl series. A similar character later appears
in the same author Fallen Angel series. There's also the metaverse. In Doomsday
Clock 10 Dr. Manhattan deduced the DC universe acts as a metaverse and
constant change and when Manhattan created the new 52 timeline so we can
blame Dr. Manhattan for the fucking new 52. The metaverse decided to fight back
through Wally West. Whether this metaverse is another form of the presence himself
remains to be confirmed. So it's basically Manhattan, Dr. Manhattan saying
that there was a force outside of him that was pushing back against him to
destroy him basically. It's weird I can feel it in my dick. It's just blue
swinging there. Fucking blue balls. You know what's funny like in the original
Watchmen the movie right they made a normal sized average penis and then in
the show the the Watchmen limited series his shit looked like a fucking baseball
between his legs. You only see it once but it looked fucking gargantuan. I'm
like okay there's a little different round with this guy.
Yeah that's because the movie recreated they they changed some things about how
people or how the the event happened. Right. It was supposed to be like a
dimensional like an attack from Dr. Manhattan. He attacked a bunch of cities
and that's what stopped the nuclear build up that was happening. Right. Because
Russia and America were about to go into nuclear exchange. In the comic book it
was an interdimensional squid ended up landing in Manhattan or some shit or
whatever city. So was it a take on like Staroop? It kind of seemed like it but it
was just a regular squid that he just found that on because they didn't attack
anybody really. It was just like it just fell on the fucking earth and people
just changed like oh I guess we don't need a nuclear disaster we can stop now
and that's what saved that comic book. Yeah. Or that's what saved the comic
book world and so they followed the comic book version. So basically the the
miniseries on HBO follows the comic book but because it was set in the 80s the
comic book the movie the miniseries follows the those repercussions from the
the comic book now into like the 2010 2020s. Right. So it was crazy because
I'm like what an octopus because I've only seen the movie. Right. So I thought
it was like that weird attack he does like because he uses he somehow is able
to read to mimic Dr. Manhattan's attacks so he he destroyed like all these cities
to make it seem like he was attacking humanity so that humanity would come
together and like face off against Dr. Manhattan and he would just leave and
live on the moon and but in the comic books it was a fucking squid that he
teleported from a different universe or from a different reality just he just
fucking dead then he just fucking flops and lands in the fucking city huh and
then everybody's just like oh we got to be better people now and then Dr.
Manhattan just fucking retires he becomes a regular human yeah and I'm like what
this is what happened? Like this makes even more like less sense. Yeah like I
would understand if I'm Ozzymandias was framing Dr. Manhattan and Dr. Manhattan
went along with it because he did in the in the movie. Yeah. Like it's the only
thing he's right it's the only thing that makes any sense and so he goes along
with them like for humanity to come together but him to just release a squid
I was like that's an odd fucking choice. Yeah. I'm sure there was a reason for it. Maybe like they
thought it was an alien invasion. Yeah. And never really materialized so they all came
together but I was watching the show I'm like when did the squid attack the fuck
and one of the characters that was in the miniseries was there as a civilian
before because it said Tulsa. Yeah. And in Tulsa something that was an attack by
some some group that really went after every police officer at their homes so
to the police said that can never happen again so they they decided costume up
all their police officers so anyone in the Tulsa police force was it had a
secret identity and they were there they had the their superhero persona so no
one knew who the cops were right and that way they were never turned their
family was never targeted again their homes right so it's kind of cool like it
was like a legally sanctioned superhero team in Tulsa all the cops all the police
officers have uniform like costumes different characters whatever motifs and
they all just protect Tulsa I didn't know Tulsa was the biggest baddest
fucking city in the world to need a superhero team yeah or for every police
officer to be a fucking superhero but that's how it was like they were constant
vigilantes but they were sanctioned by the government yeah it's kind of cool it
was good problem but it didn't last for it didn't last for one season
yeah I have to go back and look at that all right other references to many
references to similar beings appear to be obvious references to the Abrahamic
supreme deity but there are sometimes revealed to be other deities in the DC
universe some events from Abrahamic mythology are assumed to be part of the
fictional timeline of the DC universe but they often involve significant
artistic license for example it was eclipso the original agent of God's wrath
who caused the mythological great flood and it was his replacement the specter
who unleashed the two who unleashed the ten plagues of on Egypt and later part of
the Red Sea for Moses the DC universe is repeatedly shown to have been created
via a variation of the Big Bang and human evolution through natural
selection yet paradoxically it also has a Garden of Eden and a version of Lilith
Adam's first wife in which Cain Abel and Eve tell a story of Daniel Hall
grandson of Carter Hall about a past and Abel says oh this what wasn't on earth
the what was it see oh this what wasn't on earth the the before being crushed
what like it's the way it like that's it because that's his dialogue where he's
like he was saying oh that wasn't on earth that was and then he was shut up
by whoever like he was trying to tell them about something right and he's like
none of that wasn't on earth well I eat or something yeah huh according to the
series Lucifer the presence has vacated his creation and his granddaughter Elaine
Belich has taken his place the series does not address his relationship to
the other aspects and its events I have largely been ignored by subsequent
authors and another story the fallen angel as ma as model or as modal as
modal try to remember the actual pronunciation for it as modal invades the
Silver City with an army of bull host angels and bull host yeah where they
have bull heads and stuff like that because think about it as ariel is the
one that has the eagle head mm-hmm basically design now and near on
neurons demons to claim the throne of God only to be told by Zario that the
presence was not in actuality truly sitting upon a throne in the highest
heaven he was part of everything and everyone part of heaven and earth and
perhaps even hell itself and thus could not be dethroned by any rebel or by any
mortal or angel as modal is stripped of his angelic powers and condemned to hell
by the presence to burn for eternity for his treachery like damn it's like oh
shit so sorry what am I up for pearl in hell blazer number 64 it has said that
Jesus was conceived from the Archangel Gabriel's rape of a woman named Mary
yes yeah and no Gaiman to the Sandman Matthews the presence angelic servants
are shown as residents of the Silver City a place that is stylized upon
paradise or heaven it was initially referred to as a separate place but has
since been equated with heaven within the city there are two towers at the top
of the tallest tower the tower of unending high is a primum mobile the
throne of light where God resides angels can only approach the throne if there
are some in there the second shorter tower contains an audience chamber where
the voice of God the logos can be heard Sandman's God is again not as explicitly
referred to by name and is in fact rarely mentioned at all save an exchange
between Anubis and an angel and seasons of mist oh who on whose authority and
the angel says whose do you think the same man series weaves an explanation
for the many mythical deities apart from the presence of the apart from the
presence in the DC universe they're described as originating in dreams realm
born out of people's wishes and fears they take their power from prayer sent to
them and die when they are no longer revered and ultimately forgotten a
significant character in the Sandman series is the fallen angel angel Lucifer
morning star who rules hell and seasons of mist he renounces his throne and
leaves home we've already talked about that the Lucifer series depicts gods
from religions other than three monotheistic Abrahamic religions
including formless gods dreamt up by the earliest humans before the advent of
language and even tiny short-lived crustacean gods originating from the
hopes and fears of shrimp since the end of the series the presence has
vacated its creation and his granddaughter Elaine bellic has taken
his place how this affects other aspects of the presence is yet to be seen though
so the presence has powers that are literally got literally godlike the
presence is the incarnation of the Abrahamic God in the DC universe the
presence has the ability to empower the various angels including the specter
which is an angel technically an angel which is surprising but he did have an
angelic name before he rebelled and repented eclipse oh and Michael de
Murgos the presence has resurrected the dead while the fallen angel as mo as
modal invaded the Silver City in an attempt to destroy the presence it was
stated the presence is everywhere and cannot be destroyed although the
presence has stated in Lucifer that he is infinite and eternal he has also said
that he has shaped by external forces so the writers basically it is safe to note
that note though that he just speaks in reference to the collective and
consciousness giving him shape he he at his utmost form is beyond such concepts
and true Santa transcends everything in volume 2 of the Lucifer series he has
temporarily killed or severely damaged by one of his fallen angels wielding
they sworn of a sword of his own creation through it though it should also
be noted this was an aspect of his infinite being as he even says himself
due to the Lucifer series being set in the vertigo universe which may or may
not sit apart from the main DCU this may only apply to the current vertigo
version of the presence and not the presence in the DCU itself although this
was no longer supportable since DC's the new 52 merged vertigo wildstorm and
milestone together this is supported by the fact that the presence is alive and
unchanged in the main DCU so basically he kind of technically died but not it's
kind of like that aspect and got destroyed but he's still there huh you know
yeah that's the only three characters that I got this week though okay ready
to move into our final section I've read it yes ready to sanity and while you
pass out again yeah I get it close again I don't know what happens if I got a
drowling is gone if that blood pressure yeah all right let's see what we got
today I get more sleep then all righty first one is by I'm not crazy you are
spurs and puts yeah it sounds bad but normally sex or any other noises at 2 a.m.
got ignored in my house because our kids have music that plays in the room at
night and it is in the past always drowned out even loudest of my moans
during sex gross on rare occasion even screams but she makes sure to put that
rare rare occasions so long as all doors are shut edit because she's put it this
is the kind of person she is she puts edit in the middle of the stories Lord
this is give this is a given where they are located in the house we don't live
in a tiny apartment so on top of this our kids tend to sleep through the train
through they will sleep through a train wreck but not this day I thought you
would say she went to a train wreck and she went through a train yes the heckly
last night me and my husband had sex and I didn't finish as I normally would so I
get tired so I tried to get off using the wand and watching something with
another edit I'm not reading the edits though anymore because they're just
pointing she's trying to justify everything that she put in the post
originally so but I couldn't find my headphones in the dark and told my
husband to try to go to sleep since he has to go to work early so I didn't want
to turn on the light and look around for them so as not to disrupt his wind down
after he got a whole she fucking wore him out so I decided to watch on the
lowest light setting and a lower volume low enough that it's nowhere near as
loud as whenever we actually do have sex but loud enough that you could
understand what they were saying I'm getting close whenever I hear something
in the hallway and pause the video my husband asked what what was up and I
said I heard something so he just said he'd get up and check it out so that I
could finish and not have to start over good Jesus I'm out you should at least
stop entirely and see what's going on it's like I heard it oh let's go back to
jacking off well he's gone for about a minute or so and in this time I quickly
finish until he comes back in immediately after and informed me that
our oldest five was out of bed and now back in their room wondering why mom was
awake and watching videos with people making funny noise and saying oh yeah
why Lord my stomach dropped and we both panicked as to what to say because
we've never dealt with this before because it clearly wasn't us making the
noises so we couldn't say it was say that it was because he sent them back to
the bed we formulated for a minute and then when he got back in bed I got up
and went in and told my kid that I was watching massage videos to learn how to
give better massages there are scared they were skeptical at first and asked
what a massage was so I said I'd show them and I really quick and I just
massage their shoulders for a second I was like that's a massage feels good
right that's why the people were saying oh yeah because it feels good they were
like okay why I don't believe you bitch I just told them so I give them to daddy
whenever his back hurts until then to go back to sleep I got back to bed and just
decided to collapse into myself like a dying star and fell asleep please God
don't let don't let them repeat this encounter to anyone and then there's
like a fuck ton of edits for the story and I'm not going through all those
edits of a lot I want to make sure you we had the full context of what was
going on I guess yes next one is by Lord makes a lot Lord makes a lot I think I
know where that comes from though which from that isn't it makes a lot the one
that sings my anaconda don't want them I don't know I'm pretty sure do I think
that is Lord makes a lot so this person puts a couple of months ago I got I met
a guy online and we agreed to meet up I went to his place which was in a
perfectly nice part of town but a little out of the way from where I live his
apartment was lovely he had a cute cat and importantly he was the same guy as
the photos in his profile yay and quite handsome to boot but enough with the
preamble this wasn't a date this was a hookup and after the plan sure he's
we're done we started making out and getting handsy not too much longer I
dropped to my knees and started unbuttoning his pants this is whenever
the fuck I've happened now this guy's penis was totally normal nice size and
shape definitely bigger than average circumcised which is usually unusual
where I come from but not weird at all well groomed but it had one feature that
I had never seen before he had two holes where we had piercing one where urethra
typically is in the other above at the top of his head yeah my reaction to
seeing the extra hole must have been pretty apparent because he immediately
started explaining what it was it's what's known as a duplicate urethra and
in his case it was non-functional it was incomplete which effectively means it
wasn't got connected to anything and that way it was pretty common I have
since learned that one I have since learned that about one and two hundred
boys are born with this in some form okay I've never heard of this what in
200 yeah it's I don't know me we do it was guys you talk about you dick all
the time that's never kind of been a conversation and I got two kiss holes
how about that Jesus Christ not at all not all end up with two holes in the
head of their dicks but it's not uncommon huh yes what hey let her heard
of it I really appreciated him explaining it to me but I could tell he
was weary weary of having to do it and it pretty much killed the vibe we
continued I finished him off with a blowjob but it lost the sexiness and
excitement that then I started out with now here's my explanation of what
happened here he had a piercing as you said yeah and he had to come up with a
reason as to why this existed and she's a gullible person and believed it
probably it's the only thing I could I've never heard of this you know next
one is by employment okay five nine two seven spurs and puts I work at a pet
store and working in retail I have enough stories in their own I was
covering the register while the rest of my co-workers and managers were in
another aisle I grow around my age and her mother came in and they walked to my
side of the register and the daughter puts a bag on the counter I snack size
it blogged I don't know why it's so tired again God take it man with a dead
bait a fish in it I just stared down at it completely stunned like literally too
stunned to speak the mother says we bought this fish a few days ago when it
already died but we able to return it and I just look at her so genuinely
flabbergasted my daughter's really upset about it the fish was only a few days
old so I let out a huff and a nervous laughter it was my first response and the
only thing my brain could come up with as a response was I'm so sorry it
wasn't funny but it kind of is let me ask my manager so hey Ty I didn't mean
to laugh at her it was just my response out of nerves it took everything in me
not to laugh in this poor morning girl's face over a dead fish in the snack baggie
jeez I walked over to where my managers were asked them in the midst of laughter
what the policy is for dead animals thankfully my manager handled it from
there on because I couldn't for the life of me keep it together so he laughs in
this poor little girl's face about her fish and I am fuck you damn fish and he
fucking sucks with about next one is by mm cat the MMK 80 it's person pits my
mom spontaneously made dinner for my girlfriend and me and brought it over
together with some fresh paprika peppers I'm assuming bell peppers that usually
go with the food she made I go to the kitchen and throw the food in the oven
to warm it up and cut up the peppers girlfriend walks in and she says oh your
mom says these are really spicy so she can't eat them oh they're really spicy
and starts coughing after a bite me okay maybe not the right choice for dinner
then I'll put them in the fridge for some other time also I'll just go to
the toilet real quick food should be ready and about should be ready right now
BRB who says BRB in a conversation oh a murderer ask me how I found out that
them peppers are spicy as fuck about your dick about two minutes into
dinner had to go cold shower my dick and balls for around ten minutes he's really
soaping and scraping listen learned what if we learn not to grab your dick
what you're touching free hands after such a food yeah I don't know what the
next one is by hey what the F I feel a was yes press puts well literally
sitting at work with a damp pee stained backside as I type this I a 30 year old
male went to the restroom and sat down to do my business I get the fuck out of
the damn chair before you ruin it and what I want to get the fuck out of the
chair before doing my business this particular toilet I'm a toilet at my
office is rather elevated and large and it's kind of awkward yet comfortable to
sit on well I guess I didn't sit back far enough and that makes sense and my
dangus was positioned kind of in an upward position between my thighs what
hmm I'm trying to figure out what I was saying again it says I see where was it
am I dangus was positioned kind of in an opera an upward position between my
thighs as he sat down on the toilet and dangus the dick or your desk dick
positioned at an upward angle so he's hard as a rock put it up against a fucking
little you know the forward like the strap hold it right there
something like that I didn't notice this whenever I started peeing and the stream
managed to clear the toilet bowl rim and land directly in my dropped trousers and
underwear hey yeah I panicked removed the soil underwear and took it to my car
thankfully I was the only person in the office at the time now I'm wearing my
buttoned shirt untucked so I can cover my wet backside I feel like a fucking
idiot hmm I would too if you pissed on your own
pants yeah I'm from a man telling myself next one is by designer cooch
that wakes you up barely a designer cooch fuck is going on man I'm at work
and I had to pee another person that had to pee I do as any normal person does
and go to the bathroom whenever I step inside I'm absolutely curb stomp by the
worst smelling ass eating shit or something I don't like that I see the
current staunch it's brutal as fuck yeah by the worst smelling ass cannons this
shit stench I've ever smelled this bathroom had multiple air fresheners
that only had that made this poop assassin agent worse I audibly and quite
loudly go holy shit what did you eat I have assumed no one no one else is in
there I was wrong this person still think shit Jesus I had consumed I had assumed
no one else is in there I was wrong the culprit speaks up and quite timidly goes
oh I'm sorry Jimmy's I got shit all the damn floor and she steps out and this
tiny little old lady just fucking drop her deuces huh I pretend it wasn't me
who said it I'm the only one in there over there fast forward to ten minutes
give or take pointy I don't know later and I'm approached by at my desk by
none other than the booty bandit herself because she needs to check out the booty
bandit it's awkward we both pretend the interaction never happened though I
wouldn't blame her all righty next one is by Luna DDLC
first and puts I'm an American and a few years ago I went to Costa Rica with my
family unfortunately a week before the trip I was horribly constipated
causing me to look very very bloated just in time for swimsuits a few days
before Costa Rica I was used in the restroom a bit but not enough to feel
and look less bloated whenever I got to Costa Rica the first two days were great
and I used the restroom a decent amount but not enough to expel the unholy
unholy mountain and reside inside of me on the third day though I was having
dinner with family and the conversation went to being sick and my mom started
talking about how you can't drink tap water outside of the US because your
stomach wouldn't be able to handle it and you'd spend hours in the back of her
blow your whole asshole out right we drink this water that's a perfect
warning in Mexico what I took away from this was that it would expel all brown
abominations from inside my stomach but I didn't even consider that she wasn't
just talking about number two but also throwing up I've had I've had a fear of
puking ever since I was 10 and I was put under for an ear surgery whenever I woke
up from the surgery the first thing I did was pound down a Chipotle burrito in
the car which was not my brightest idea when I arrived home puked all over the
driveway for a consecutive minute and it was the worst thing ever back to the
story whenever I was home alone I pounded cups and cups of tap water
pounded I felt fine for the rest of the day two days later though well minus all
the horrible details I'll just spend saying I spent one consecutive minute
puking again now from Costa Rican water don't drink water has the US okay next
one is by Boba tea thanks this person puts today I screwed up by swallowing a
tiny pill without water and it ended up lodging in my throat for hours I've
taken pills without water before especially during my chemo and radiation
treatments two years ago sometimes I had to wake up to 11 pills in the morning
and if I drink water consistently I never had a problem swallowing a cup
of water in a row before sipping water and yes I drank a ton of water throughout
the day this time however was different I felt the pill get stuck in the back of
my throat and despite drinking an entire glass of water it won't budge
desperate I found Chad GPT's suggestion of eating soft food but the pill remains
stubbornly anchored in the back of my throat for well felt like an eternity it
was a small pill so it wasn't worried about breathing or anything but the
discomfort was intense imagine the feeling of almost choking on something
and needing to cough but for hours to end not being able to to make matters
worse I had a one-on-one meeting with my boss during the ordeal I didn't mention
the thing just hope that he wouldn't notice my watery eyes from the constant
discomfort eventually after hours of this torture the pill finally dislodged
but I learned my lesson always drink water with pills no matter what
we'll gel pills yeah what the Advils and stuff
but the garbage man and the last one for today no bit three eight five four this
person puts last Saturday my boss Jorge and if I did some of us over for a
barbecue Jorge and I don't we have good for a barbecue I don't know what the
fuck's going on with me what the hell I'm supposed to drowsy for no no fuck
everything was chill good food drinks and laughs for his daughter was around
nine was running around talking about Easter so thinking she already knew the
deal I said Natalie you don't have don't still believe in the Easter bunny right
expecting some laughs instead she looked shocked then burst into tears cue the
death stares from Jorge and his wife Jorge went to comfort her leaving me
standing there like a total idiot the rest of the barbecue was awkward as hell
eventually Jorge suggested that I head out early so I did feeling like the
biggest jerk ever on Monday I was sure I was getting fired but Jorge didn't say a
word about it two days later he pulled me aside and braves for the worst and
said he told me that what I had done led to a good talk with Natalie about
growing up in truths he laughed it said but seriously leave Santa out of it and
and things went back to normal so yeah I messed up but maybe it wasn't all that
bad hmm so hey he fucked up the horny basically he fucked up or his daughter
man what you're doing with my daughter hey just fucking lied to her over didn't
lie to her total the truth basically she was like fuck all that and my me huh are
you fuck with her come on this day that's all I'm got for kid day around and I
don't know what the fuck's going on with me I'm gonna nap or something
Jesus what is wrong with me well with that we will see you guys on the next
one and we'll talk to you next week bye bye