Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noé.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite or none of
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Okay.
So today I'm going to talk about the M. Night Shyamalan trilogy, the East Rail 177 trilogy,
which is his take on the superhero genre.
And so it started all the way back in 2000 with the first movie called Unbreakable starring
Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.
And basically the movie is all under the premise of a character named Elijah Price.
I think his last name is Price.
If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.
I just know him as his other name, his supervillain name.
So Elijah Price was born with this, he came out of the womb with two broken legs and two
broken arms.
He has this disability that makes his bones as brittle as glass.
And he has the tamest version of it, type one.
There's type two all the way up to four and fours don't last very long.
So he said he had 34 breaks in his life or something.
And so he's got to be very careful.
He walks around with a limp and he owns a comic book shop that sells really high end
comic book art, the real, the biggest, the highest bidders and all that.
The real swanky stuff.
The first printing of the-
Not the metal things that you hang on to your wall.
Not the fucking dollar bins, but the actual high art.
I think he sells the art that they draw first as the concept.
Because when they draw artwork, they always draw on a bigger canvas and then they shrink
it down for the actual compact size.
So he has the big ones and he's like, this guy was going to buy it for his kid, right?
And Price didn't know that because he's like, oh, my son's going to love this.
Like, come again, sir?
And he's like, oh, my son, he's four years old and get this for his birthday.
I'm sorry.
You must confuse this with the fucking toys, toys are us.
This is art, sir.
Get the fuck out of my shop.
You fucking throws them out.
You have to have an appointment to be there.
So anyway, he has this theory that if there's one of him at one end of the evolutionary
spectrum being so weak, so easy to illness, so easy to break, there must be somebody on
the other end that is unbreakable.
Someone that doesn't get sick, someone that doesn't get hurt, someone that doesn't get
ill, however he says sick, but just someone that's not him.
Like it just like that's just it formulates in his fucking mind forever.
Like this, like, because he has to know that this is probably like believable because like,
I guess it would make sense.
Like if there's one on one end, there has to be one on the other end.
Right.
Evolutionary wise, I think I guess evolution is gonna work that way, doesn't it?
It like branches and mutates like a fucking tree.
Generally, yeah, but they're like usually the weaker ones are the ones that die.
Like the other limbs break off.
So I guess it's a really like a tree.
We go up, we have various branches, but the main set is the main gene pool is the tree,
the trunk, the separate mutation.
You have oddities on the ends.
Right.
And then like the ones that like are the strongest continue on with the tree, the ones that are
not die away.
That might not be the best analogy.
That was a tree because I mean, we're all one just fucking one shaft up.
We're all shaft.
We were all fucking in breath.
That's what it sounds like.
Fucking looping as tree.
The branches come back.
No, it's not a house of the dragon.
So Lord.
So he tried like one day there's an accident on the Philadelphia train.
East rail 177.
Everybody dead.
Except for one survivor.
And not only is he the survivor, he is completely unhurt.
The only other survivor when they did this really well in the movie, they put him at
the end in the background of the hospital where they're like they're like they triaged
everyone with that everybody.
And the other side was in front of the frame, like a little bit like fuzzy.
So you know, he wasn't in the main for he wasn't the main focus.
The main focus is the main character, David Dunn talking to the doctor.
He's like, because the doctor's asking all these questions like, did you stand up in
the train?
Did you go to the bathroom?
Did you do this?
Did you do that?
And he's like, why are you asking me all these questions?
Well, because as of right now, there's only two survivors on this train.
The man over there and he points to the guy over there and the man's fucking bleeding
now.
You can see like blood started to cover the things.
Fucking head is caved in.
You know, it's PG 13.
So he's telling you what's happened to him.
You don't see any of it.
And like in you, who's completely unhurt.
There's not a scratch on you.
Not a bruise.
And nothing.
And like the doctor was like, God dang medical miracle.
And so David Dunn, so Elijah realizes that David Dunn is that other one.
And he tries to, he invites David Dunn to the, he's called limited editions, his comic
book shop.
And he tried to convince him that he is a superhero, that comic books and hieroglyphics
and all that was an actual history of a time where people of extraordinary powers really
existed that even though like stuff like that get exaggerated in comic books all the time,
there was like a grain of truth back in the day.
Like someone that could maybe dive deeper than a normal person or could, I don't know,
jump higher or just be stronger.
Just something like beyond normal.
Kind of like saying that myths actually had that truth through them.
Like a tiny, yeah, tiny piece of piece of truth that was exaggerated because there's
all stories that get exaggerated to be sound more entertaining.
So he tried to convince David Dunn that he's the one.
And he tried to give David Dunn all these theories.
And at the time David Dunn is having, his marriage is falling apart.
He was in New York to get another job as a security guard.
His son and him are like sleeping on the same bed because the wife is like, they're sleeping
in separate rooms, but they only have that many rooms.
And so his life is in shambles and he's like his life, he doesn't know what he's wanting
to do with his life.
Like he's kind of like at a crossroads.
And Elijah's like, so what do you do David, right before David leaves?
And he's like, I'm a security guard.
And that's another tick in his box.
Like, oh, of all the things you could be doing David, all these millions of jobs, you decided
to do a job where you protect people.
And he's like, it's just my job, ba ba ba.
And so he keeps trying to prove to David that he is the guy, that he's a superhero.
So he's trying to keep ticking on these boxes.
And David does have, aside from, so David basically has, he's unbreakable.
Like he does not get hurt, which makes me wonder about his, like, how do you got his
flu shots and stuff?
Like, his like vaccination shots, how the fucking pierced that motherfucker in.
And logically, you know, I always do that.
I shouldn't do that.
I should just enjoy, like, you know, the, the special disbelief, but like, hey, well,
how do you get fucking, you know, his vaccination shots?
They couldn't break through the fucking skin.
Unvaccinated, but it's fine.
I guess he is, he came out fine.
So he's like, he's like, he has this actual ability beyond just like, so beyond endurance
and strength.
Cause I don't think he's that fit.
Like he's fucking probably gets tired running like, damn, I'm exhausted.
I know he's got strength and super strength or enhanced strength, not super, enhanced
strength and like actual like superhuman durability.
Cause he didn't, he didn't take a stretch from that train.
That train would have killed anybody.
If I remember that movie from a Spider-Man far from home, he gets hit by that fucking
bullet train.
Shit almost fucking kills him.
So he has this ability.
It's like a psychic, like, I don't know how to explain it.
Like if he bumps into a person, he has a physical contact with him.
He gets an image from them.
If they've ever done something bad, like actually bad, like during the, the walk around the,
cause he works at a stadium as a security guard, he bumps into this lady and he realized
that his lady beats the shit out of her son.
I'm like, God dang.
And you get a quick flash of her like, shut the fuck up Timmy.
And then he keeps walking and he bumps into this guy and he gets this image of like, you
don't see what the image is.
He just turns around and looks at the guy, looks back and he tells the other security
guards that start doing pat downs before they go in.
And Elijah Price is like, what did you do that for?
He's like, sometimes guys like to carry during the game and you know, with the alcohol, guns
and alcohol aren't the best mix.
And he tried to like get him to elaborate a little bit more.
He's like, I don't know.
I saw like, it's like a silver gun with a black grip.
It's just a quick image.
And Elijah notices the guy out there and he tries to follow him.
Like, excuse me sir, I got a question for you.
You have a gun with a black grip.
I just realized like how you would ask somebody, you got a gun on you?
He tries to follow the guy.
The guy dips into the subway.
If fucking Elijah tries to follow him, he, by the way, he has a cane made of glass.
So if the cane breaks, his bones will break.
Right.
So he tried to follow him down the subway and he fucking trips and falls, breaks like
fucking every bone in his fucking body.
The fucking cane breaks immediately.
The guy sees him like pathetic.
And he, that's the look I get when he sees the guy's like, what a pathetic human being.
And he fucking jumps over the railing like, kind of like a, like his, his jacket was one
of those, uh, not leather, like plastic like ish type of material.
Yeah.
Like kind of like a rain poncho, but it's a jacket.
He jumps into like a fucking Batman from the, like, you know, like jump over Cape thing.
And you see right in this fucking belt is a fucking silver gun with a black grip.
And Elijah's like, yes.
My theory.
He had to prove it like to him, the theory was more important than his own body.
Right.
Cause he had, he has to know that there is a such a thing as another person on the other
end of the spectrum.
And so eventually this stuff starts getting to David and he's like, maybe, maybe, maybe.
And he starts like bench pressing, he ends up like bench pressing like 450 pounds.
I think in the, in the, uh, the deleted scene from the movie, I read somewhere that he's
benched like 590 or something.
So he was like, he's strong, but not like superhumanly.
Right.
But then again, he is so there's no, I don't know what his limit to his power actually
is.
So, uh, he, he starts believing and eventually, uh, he gets convinced by Elijah price that,
okay, so this stuff is true.
I believe you because well, not before that he tried to, he kept trying to deny it, right?
By saying like he got injured in, uh, he used to be a famous, famous football star in high
school, in, uh, in college, like, like, you know, Superman, when he was in college, the
same type of thing, just a higher level human being playing a sport.
And uh, so he was like, they thought he was superhuman on the field, which of course he
was and he got injured.
He got allegedly he apparently what happened was there was a car crash and his girlfriend
that got injured.
And he just also said that he got injured because his wife was his girlfriend became
his wife is like a physical therapist and she can't stand the idea of football because
it, you know, it's the, uh, the whole goal is to hurt and all this and that.
And so she couldn't live, she didn't think she could live with herself and her husband
became a football star.
So he loved her so much that he gave up his football career and pretended to have an injury
all those years ago because they have a flashback where he got thrown out of the fucking car
by like fucking 20 feet.
So he gets up like, what the fuck happened up on the fucking concrete?
The car is flipped over.
His girlfriend Audrey is underneath the fucking, uh, like she's in the car and she's still
the seatbelt so she's upside down.
He notices there's no cars in nearby.
So he fucking pulls the whole door off of the hinges with his bare hands and just rips
it off to pull her out.
So he's like, well, you can just like the straining against the, just fucking ram, pulls
that bitch out.
And so, uh, he remembers that because I guess like he forgot or he just, he just like repressed
it almost.
Yeah.
Like just didn't want to deal with it anymore and decided that you wanted to be with his
wife even though they were getting like a divorce, but then I have went to the movie,
they're getting back together slowly.
So I guess they, they, they reconciled.
And so he finally did.
And so after that he tells him he got injured, but then he wasn't injured, but he also tells
him when he was seven, this was what he did.
He really repressed when he was like seven years old in the same school that his son
goes to.
Uh, this old lady tells him like, Oh, I remember you.
You remember when you almost drowned in our school?
Because apparently they had to do, they had to change the rules of the school, uh, pool
area because of what happened to David.
A bunch of older kids had grabbed him and started dunking him in the, uh, the pool for
fun and they didn't realize that he drank a whole bunch of water and was drowning.
And he told that to Elijah.
Elijah verified it most likely.
And at that point, even after they knew the injury was fake, I think I can't remember
if he told them like, uh, you never got injured, did you David?
And he's like, yes, I did.
I was like, but you did you?
Like, well, maybe not.
Uh, the, the, him drowning really happened and he, you know, news reports and all that.
And so he, so Elijah is fucking despondent.
Like, fuck.
So maybe he is at the guy because that's one X on his fucking tick on his list.
And so he's at a comic book shop and you know this comic book shop, this is a regular one,
right?
This guy's in the back like, Hey, like we're close, we're close 10 minutes ago.
Just pick whatever, man.
You don't be jacking off to the Japanese comics, man.
I swear.
And, uh, he, the guy tried to get him out and he keeps like messing with the guy.
He keeps like, cause he's in a wheelchair now.
He keeps fucking turning it.
So it's smashed into a bunch of like, uh, shelves and stuff.
And he does it three times.
The guy's like, I'm done with this, man.
I'm calling the cops.
And so when he leaves, he notices a comic book on the floor on his lap that fell down
from the rack and he's like, uh, Oh, I need to buy this.
And he realizes like David, like, of course, I didn't know what I think about.
I didn't think about it before you drowning.
It must be your weakness.
Like apparently David done his weakness is water.
Like he can't swim, I'm guessing.
And if he does try to swim, like he has this weird thing where he like just water just
goes into his mouth.
I don't know about it.
Just like affects him.
I don't know.
I don't know if like the rain, cause it's Philadelphia fucking pouring all the time.
The rain or taking a shower weakens him.
But like for some reason, water is his weakness.
I didn't get the, kind of like the Luffy thing with the, the devil fruits.
Like, is it all water or is it just sea water?
So the same with Don, like water just weakens him down.
And uh, so, uh, so he realized that's his superhero weakness.
And so now that he knows David is this and that, that he didn't injure himself, so he's
already been hurt.
He really is the thing, the person that he thinks he is.
And then David finally believes him a hundred percent.
He's like, what do I do now, Elijah?
It's like, go to, go to where there are people.
And uh, the next part, it's not like a comic book.
So he goes to this fucking, uh, uh, subway station, it looks like, uh, and uh, does Philadelphia
have a subway station?
Okay.
So they go to this fucking big ass like subway station and he starts like pulling his hands
out and he starts feeling people.
And like one person, the one lady, by the way, when he does this, when it cuts to them,
like the whole, the whole scene is black, like lower, lower color texture.
And but the person doing the crime has a bright something.
Like one woman has got a bright red jacket when she steals his fucking necklace.
Another guy is wearing a bright yellow shirt when he bashes this black woman's skull.
He's like, go back to Africa.
I'm like, oh God.
Another guy's like, uh, this one was the darkest one.
It was like, uh, it was real ominous how fucking quiet it was too.
Like he bumps into this kid, this college kid and just seemed like, uh, it's one of
those top down camera scenes into a room and this, this girl's knocked out in bed and he's
like, what's your name?
You look tired.
You sleepy?
Then he fucking gets up and he closes the door behind him like, Oh, you know exactly
what happened.
Yeah.
And he had like a bright, uh, like they all had bright colored, uh, clothes.
I like that concept cause David Duns is dark green and he was a rain poncho cause it was
protected from the weakness of water.
Apparently subconsciously he just wore it.
Basically.
Yeah.
Like he was sometimes he wears a rain poncho.
Like maybe he knew like with water made him weak.
He must hate showers or he must fucking choose a shower with sand or some shit.
I don't know.
You're seeing like when they wave with sand, it's weird.
I guess it works.
I don't know.
And so he bumps into this big, this fucking, fucking unit of a man.
I looked like it was six, five and like the worst, like apparently like it depends on
like how he also feels, how new or recent the crime was.
And this is the most recent one.
This guy just came up to this, this fucking criminal came up to this guy's house in suburbia.
He's like, I liked your house.
The guy's like, what?
Like I want to live in your house.
And I'm like, no, thank you.
I'm going to come in your house.
And he fucking pulls on the fucking screen door and he comes into the house and he kills
the guy and he fucking has the fucking daughter and son hostage in the bathroom.
And he does horrible things with his wife in the bedroom.
And it was like a couple of days ago or like a week ago, cause there's a lot of mail, but
not too much mail that it's like for like happened like for months.
Cause I'm pretty sure people know it's like, where's Gary?
He hasn't been at work in like two weeks.
So David then follows him home and he saves the kids.
He finds the wife about to save her too.
And but he has this, he's looking around for the guy and they have like this like a balcony
outside their bedroom that overlooks the pool.
He goes out there thinking the guy's there cause the windows open and the doors opened
and he doesn't see him, but the guy comes up behind him and throws him into the, he
pushes him over the balcony into the pool below and the pool has like one of those tarps
over it.
So he's like looking over like, oh, and this is like the fucking weights start fucking
falling out.
He's like, oh fuck of all the places, all the time for me to fucking blame, I had to
land in the pool, which is, you know, it's a movie thing.
Yeah.
Like you would think it was corny, but for some reason it fits in the movie.
Like, yeah, of course he was gonna land in his weakness at the end of the movie.
And he gets saved by those kids that he let out earlier.
They grab one of those like cleaning rakes or whatever and they pull him out and he goes
back up there and he like, he like gets sneaked up behind the guy and he gives him a chokehold,
like just like a, just a regular chokehold.
And the guy, this had to be the stunt double cause this motherfucker threw himself against
the wall and when he fucking turned the other way, the whole wall was dented in and like,
there was like the most, like the most realistic portrayal of like a struggle.
Cause he's fucking choking him, right?
And this guy's trying to like, first he hits him with one elbow, right?
Then he puts his other arm, his other arm against the other hand and then he pushes
his elbow even harder.
You know, like when you use your other hand for support or for an, like you can really
see like the extra movement like from the first elbow, right?
David behind him is not moving.
With the second one, he's fucking jerk inside like, oh fuck my ribs.
And like, he's like throwing himself into the back, like trying to throw him off and
you know, it's not hurting David and he's strong enough to hold on.
So he finally chokes the guy and knocks him out, saves a wife, but the wife ends up dying.
I get from the abuse and that's it.
Like the next morning he shows his son this little news report cause the whole movie,
his son believed he was like whatever Elijah was saying was true.
So of course he would like, my dad's a superhero?
I believe it.
He believed it so much he was going to fucking shoot his dad in the kitchen.
Like if you let me shoot you, we can prove that you're a hero.
And he's like, no, if you fucking shoot me.
He never shoots him, right?
He convinces him not to, but man, that was a tense fucking scene.
Like the mom's trying to calm him down.
The dad's trying to calm him down.
I'm just going to shoot you one time.
I'm like, uh oh.
And so he shows them like the little like, and like when the kids get the description,
they just give them the poncho with no, no, like the face covered.
So you don't know it's actually David.
It was really cool.
Little like a comic book panel actually, which I'm pretty sure what they're trying to do.
So David's like, it's like, you were right son, just don't tell your mother and don't
ever try to shoot me again.
I'll beat the hell out of you.
That's what I would have thought.
You ever fucking try to shoot me again?
Because David had that like home defense revolver up in the, they always had it up in the fucking
bedroom, like up in the fucking shoe box, whatever.
Yeah.
That whole shit like that.
A place you would never actually put your gun.
Not at all.
And so the next day he goes to Elijah, like, thank you Elijah.
Like he finally finding his purpose in life.
Like David finally knows what he has to do or what he wants to do is help people be a
hero.
So from now on, he's going to just go around, you know, feeling and you know, that's the
only way he can really like how sweet he tell.
I got to feel for the criminals.
I got to put my hands on it.
He's kind of like bumping into people.
Basically.
Yeah.
Like just go into crowded spaces and you'd be surprised how many murders you bump into
probably.
And so the movie ends with like, well, I guess the only thing left for me, like he ends up
going to the, this opening gallery for limited edition and he meets Elijah's mom and he
goes, he follows Elijah to like the back of the little shop.
He's like, well, now all I have to do is to us to shake hands partner or whatever he says.
They shake hands and the fucking M.I.
Shamlin twist comes up.
Right.
And it turns out the train derailment was caused by Elijah price himself.
Like he's the one that not only did he cause the train, he caused two other terrorist attacks
in the city.
He burned down a whole fucking city and he brought down a plane and he did all that.
It turns out just to find a person like that, just to find if that person existed, he now
knew his place in life was to be the bad guy.
Oh my God.
Cause he knew he was always the bad guy cause he was the mastermind.
And like David looks around the fucking room, right?
This motherfucker has fucking bombs and shit all over the place.
I'm like, oh fuck, he's got fucking news clippings of like crimes that have like 2,700 people
killed in a mudslide in Mexico.
One newborn survived.
That one actually like, I was interested in that one.
Like, oh, did he find another one as a baby?
And so like that was his whole fucking purpose.
And like, you know how I knew David, that you were the hero and I was the bad guy?
Cause when we were, cause of the kids, cause apparently when he was a kid, they used to
call him Mr. Glass.
That's his villain name, Mr. Glass.
Cause of the kids, David.
Cause he told somebody that the scariest thing is not knowing your place in the world.
Like now that you know your place, I know my place, David.
Isn't it wonderful, David?
Like it was like really trippy.
Like he was like, you could tell that.
The whole scene flipped.
The whole movie flipped.
You saw how deranged Elijah Price was.
Don't you see David?
Cause of the kids, they call me Mr. Glass.
David ended up, it did one of those like stop scenes where like it's just like a text that
tells you what happened after the movie.
It said that David Dunn alerted the police to a limited edition where they found three
acts of terrorism and Elijah Wood was sent to a prison for the criminally insane.
Like an Arkham?
Yeah.
And that's how that movie ends.
So then the next movie happened like fucking 16 years later.
I think it was 2016 when Split came out.
And Split starts basically with these three girls finishing up a birthday party.
And the two girls, two of them are regular, just you know, did see college or high school
girls, right?
Not a care in the world.
The other one had like a darker edge to her.
Like she's like, she's like, she's like, she's living on the streets or something.
I don't know, like, she looked rough.
No, no, no, like that.
I mean, like, it's like she's a worldly, like more like she was not like, she wasn't like
so obsessed with the did see high school stuff.
Like it looks like she's.
So it's like the, the two broke girls, uh, like the real, like the rich one and then
like the street one.
Yeah.
The one that looked like the street smart one.
Yeah.
That's her, right?
Like she looks like she's been through it.
And like, she was like, either that or she was just more intelligent than them or something.
She just did not fit the mold of them two.
Yeah.
And then they were forced to invite her to the party, even though they didn't want to
and she couldn't get a ride.
So the dad's like, we're not leaving her here until she gets her ride.
And if not, then I'm going to give her a ride to her house.
Like a typical dad thing.
Yeah.
Like I leave a random girl, right?
At the birthday party at the fucking restaurant.
So he takes him, he's about to take all three of them home and then a fucking, uh, uh, Ken,
uh, Dave, uh, Kevin Wendell crumb, uh, ends up in the fucking, uh, in the driver's seat,
right?
Like a bald guy with glasses and, uh, he, he turns around and the two did see girls
are like, uh, uh, sir, you must have the wrong car.
I forget.
Turn around and sprays them in the face and then knocks them both out.
And he doesn't notice the third girl who's in the, he was, she was in the passenger seat.
Like he's, he's like, he's like getting ready to start the car.
Right.
And she tried to open the door and like it clicks because it's locked.
And he's like, huh?
What?
Like, what the fuck did you call?
He doesn't say anything to everybody.
He's like, what the fuck?
When were you, when were you there?
And he sprays her too.
And he takes me to this fucking terrible ass dungeon place underground and, uh, he starts
talking to him.
And throughout the movie, they realized that there's something mentally wrong with him.
And it turns out he has 23 very distinct personalities.
One of them is named Dennis, who's highly meticulous and like a perfectionist.
Nothing can ever be out of place.
Wrong.
Everything needs to be clean.
He has color coded fucking bottles for the, uh, ceramics and for the floor.
They're color, color, color coded and the rags do not mess, do not mix these up.
The blue is for ceramics.
The pink is for the floor.
Get to work in this bathroom.
Clean this bitch up.
And then his other personality named Patricia, who's got this really like, uh, uh, like high,
like a kind of like a royalty type personality who wants a PB and J sandwich.
I wish she's like that, uh, the stereotypical like, uh, like hoity toity type character.
Yeah.
And, uh, Dennis has the fondness of fondness for having young girls dance naked for him.
When I say young, I mean young.
Oh yes.
So he's like, oh, okay.
Then there's another name, Hedwig, who's nine years old.
They're all played by the same actor, James McCavrey.
His to this day, his best role for me, cause he plays all these characters so fucking perfectly.
My name is Dennis.
And they're like, my name is Patricia.
I am Hedwig.
And that they're all waiting for somebody called the beast.
It is this, uh, supernatural, superhuman entity that always arrives on train.
And uh, they're called, the three of them are called the horde and all 23 personalities,
they get a portion of the light, which means they get to be in the, in the body.
They're all basically in his mind, they're all around, uh, they're all sitting in a circle
and chairs in the middle of the light.
Uh, it turns out that Hedwig, the nine year old is able to steal the light from the, uh,
from Barry, who was the leader of the entire 23 people.
Uh, he's like, I think he's gay.
He's like a fashion designer.
He's like a super extroverted.
And so he was the leader for the longest time, the original, uh, person is Kevin.
And the reason all these people, uh, all these personalities popped up was because when Kevin
was a kid, his mother severely abused him.
Like she would just beat the hell out of him.
That's what, that's what, that's where Dennis came from.
Uh, if him being so meticulous and neat and tidy was the, uh, consequence of him, like
if anything was out of place, his mom would beat the hell out of him.
So he was, I'm pretty, I'm assuming he was the first personality.
If he kept everything perfectly clean, his mom would take no notice of him.
So Barry or Dennis was there to protect Kevin.
They're all something to protect Kevin in a way.
And uh, so, so for whatever reason, these three got into their head, Hedwig, Patricia
and Dennis, that the entity of the beast was going to liberate all of them and show the
world that the broken, which is people that have been traumatized or abused are the purest
form of humanity.
And so the reason he kidnaps, uh, the reason they can have these girls is as a sacrifice
for the beast.
Uh, he likes to eat the impure, the impure people that have never suffered in their life,
which he thinks is like the high school girls just did see high school girls.
And so, uh, eventually the beast does show up and he is wild in this movie.
Like he's like, he can climb, uh, like, like they show like, like he, like every time he
takes, like the beast comes into form or arrives, right.
You can tell it's a different person because his fucking veins are fucking popping out
of his fucking body.
They're like fucking deep and green.
He's like just fucking looks like he's built like a fucking tank.
And like, I don't know if they added a little bit of CGI or if James just took a fucking
ton of steroids and worked out cause he was fucking just like, God, imagine seeing this
motherfucker at the end of a hallway.
Just like, oh shit.
Well, I'm leaving.
Well, I'm gone.
So, uh, all the 23 have to 23, uh, well, the Kevin in general had to go meet a psychiatrist
on a consistent basis to ensure that his personality is for okay.
Or like that he was functioning properly in society.
And, uh, for whatever reason, Barry was the constant, uh, one in the light.
He was the leader of the whole 23.
But then, uh, the psychiatrist realized that Barry was being, uh, was being, uh, no, that
Dennis was pretending to be Barry.
And then because she was getting emails from Kevin at night, but it wasn't, it wasn't Kevin.
It was the other personalities.
They would, they would take the light for just a few minutes.
They would send her distress.
Like I need help.
I need to do a quick session with you.
And then headway would come back and then give the light back to Patricia or, uh, Dennis.
And so the other, the other, uh, part of the 23 were trying to, uh, get enough therapy
to, to, uh, give Barry back the light.
And the, the three from the horn were trying to keep the light to let the beast, uh, reappear
for the first time.
And so it was almost like a religious like a thing where like their, their Messiah was
coming.
Yeah.
And the other ones didn't believe it.
And, uh, but they're like, they believe that this entity was like only it's like an evil
entity rather than a holy, right?
Cause he eats people.
Yeah.
And they're like, Oh God.
And so, uh, the doctor ends up showing up to, uh, to talk to Dennis and to talk to Barry,
to talk to anybody that she has to go into his place.
And it turns out that he fucking lives at the zoo and, uh, they gave him when he became
the head of maintenance, they gave him this whole abandoned wing of the basement and he
just rebuilt it into his house.
And like, it's a fucking huge ass awesome.
It's a great way, like to, uh, do a small budget movie to make it compelling.
And so, um, the other two girls get killed and eaten.
The old lady gets fucking her ribs crushed cause the beast bear hugs her.
You can just hear her fucking bones crack.
He's like, and she writes something down on a fucking piece of paper before she fucking
gets cracked in half.
And uh, so he starts looking for the third girl, the one that's different from the disney
ones.
And the one that he didn't see originally.
Right.
And you'll, you'll find out why he didn't see her.
And so, uh, the beast is looking for her, by the way, like apparently he can walk the
walls like fucking spider-man.
Like he, like he, well, they said he can, he can put his fingers on like the, the smallest
like indent in the wall and the climate, like, like, like an advanced rock climber.
Yeah.
Like when you see it the first time, it looks fucking unbelievable.
Yeah.
He just fucking climbing the wall off of the fucking thick ass back, like a fucking gorilla.
And like, uh, they kind of like didn't do it as well in glass cause they just had him
walking on, just on a wall like spider-man.
Yeah.
Like an actual, like, uh, believable, like, like, cause that was like, like a bunch of
rock formations in this little spot of the wall.
He just fucking climbing it like a master rock climber.
And so, uh, the girl finds the, she's in the kitchen and she finds the old lady fucking
cracked in half and she sees the paper and it just says, say his name.
And it turns out that like a, like a superhero, he has a, he has a weakness too.
And it is, if you say his full name, Kevin Wendell Crumb, he'll revert back to his original
personality as Kevin because his mom used to say his full name when she would fucking
yell at him.
When she'd be pissed.
Yeah.
So it, that's his mental, you know, cause I was like, that is fucking genius.
It's almost like Mr. Mixped, like, saying the same backwards.
He's like, Kevin Wendell Crumb.
It means like, fuck.
So Kevin comes into, he comes into form, right?
And he's like, what year is it?
It's not, it's just, it's just still September 18, 2024.
Fucking two years ago.
He has, he's been gone for two years.
Jeez, lowly.
All the personalities have had, have had, had, had, had the life for that long.
He's like, oh fuck.
And there's a great scene where they all have their own little diaries on a computer and
you can see like, they did like at least eight or nine personalities, right?
Like one of them is actually like a diabetic, well the rest are not.
Dennis needs glasses, the rest don't.
So it's like, they're all actually different personalities that reshaped his body chemistry
when they take the light.
So I'm like, that's fucking cool.
That is weird too.
Right?
Like, you know, being blind, but not being blind is a different, and it's still the same
body as wild.
Right.
And so she says his name, he fucking, every time the beast shows up, he's always shirtless.
So they do a thing where like everyone else is never shirtless, but him, which is fucking,
you know, like if they keep it like that consistent lore, you kind of accept it.
So cause Kevin comes in, he's got a blanket over himself, like, and he's like, he's all
confused and he'd like, what did I do?
Did I do something?
Like, did I kill that doctor lady?
And he's like, oh fuck, there's a shotgun back there.
Grab it.
There's some shells in my locker and you know, kill me.
And the beast starts fucking taking the body again.
So she runs off and the beast is chasing her.
It's fucking crazy.
He gets a hold of her at one point and starts ripping her shirt and she grabs a gun and
she's just rolls over to shoot him and he fucking disappears.
And then she ends up going to this little cage and closing it behind her.
And he comes up and he fucking, she point blank, it gives him two, one on the bottom
right of his body, one right over the heart, two fucking shotguns.
Just bam, bam.
And he fucking, he like, he eats them and they fucking, they leave a fucking huge ass
like a welt and like, it pierced the skin, but it didn't go through.
And he starts trying to break the bars.
Like you see him, like it's a great scene where he like, he starts bending the bars
and like, he's like, uh-oh.
And then he sees that when her shirt's all ripped up and she's just her, like her belly
showing in her arms, you can see that she's cut herself a lot, like just all over her
stomach and her arms and everything.
Like she self inflicts.
And throughout the movie, they were showing flashbacks of her past and it turns out her
uncle used to molester and in the fucking worst, like they used to go hunting, right?
And they used to play a game where they would play it like, let's pretend to be animals
again.
It's like, come on, you know, animals don't wear, take your clothes off, animals don't
wear clothes.
I'm like, oh fuck.
Exactly.
You see this man on all fours going, oh, fucking, oh God.
And so, you know, her, and then his, her dad dies and her uncle becomes her legal guardian.
So her whole life, that's why she's, she's also one of the broken, meaning that she's
also like, you are pure.
So the beast, the beast lesser live.
And that's how that movie ends.
I'm like, God, that was a brilliant.
And no, that's not how the movie ends.
The song started playing and I'm like, that song, if you, if you, if you watched it cold,
right?
Not knowing, cause I knew where it was from, from like all the leaks and stuff, like on
like YouTube and stuff.
And so I came in knowing what the significance of the movie was.
But if you watched it cold, just think it's another M.I. shit because they kept it so
under wraps because it was an M.I.
Shamla movie.
The song, the theme song from Unbreakable starts playing at the end of a split.
So if you were a fan, you're like, wait, that song's familiar.
And then at a coffee shop, this diner, right?
Everyone's watching it on the news.
They're calling them the horde, a serial killer that eats people.
All over the news, right?
And like this is like, whoa, that's, that sounds like that one guy from like, like what,
16 years ago, they used to, that did those terrorist attacks.
And then it pans over to David Dunn.
Because she's like, what was his name?
He's like Mr. Glass.
And she's like, oh yeah.
And I'm like, you're like, you're supposed to be like, oh my fucking God.
Cause you would be like, oh my fucking God.
But David Dunn's back after 16 years.
And so we, we transitioned over two weeks later in the movie of Glass, which was like
a year, a couple of years later or a year later, they released it.
But within the continuity of the movie, it's two, two weeks after Split.
And so David Dunn is looking, cause it's all in Philadelphia.
David does looking for the horde who's kept down four cheerleaders and they're going to
do the same thing.
He's already done it twice before.
So that means like he did it in the first movie, Split, and he did it.
He did the ritual again, eating innocent people in the, in between the two movies.
And now he's going to do it a third time.
And David Dunn's looking for him.
At this point, David Dunn owns his own security company.
He has a little like security shop where they sell like, you know, like cameras and stuff
and security systems.
His son works for him.
He's like, he's older now.
And like, his son's like, his son's the kid in the chair, the, the whiz, you know, with
all that information with the earpiece.
Yeah.
Let me help you dad.
And he ain't trying to shoot him no more.
I know.
Like they've been like, when you first see David Dunn, right?
He follows this guy home because they would go around punching people in the face and
uploading it on YouTube, doing like Superman punches, just hidden and innocent people.
Right?
Yeah.
So he, David Dunn goes in there and to have him arrested or he just, like he, he's funny
cause he throws them across the fucking wall.
Like I like how they show like superpower in here.
Like it feels realistic.
Like the guys, David Dunn breaks into the house.
He turned the lights off.
The two guys are like, what the fuck?
The big guy that knocks people out gets up all tough and he walks around like Superman
punching, like Superman punching Darren.
And just totally tell like Superman punching Darren.
So he goes around the corner and they start struggling.
Right?
And they go out of frame.
And so we're supposed to be the, the, the, the wimpy guy, the videotapes, the punching
from his angle.
We're watching your, watching your friend who's like fucking six, three, like probably
200 pounds get thrown into frame, backing up against the wall sideways.
And then like David Dunn walks into frame wearing his punch.
Right?
He's like, Oh, he's like, Oh shit, you're the guy.
Aren't you?
And he turns the lights off completely dark because now he's called, it's been 16 years
that he's been doing this.
So he's called the overseer and it's a, it's a, it's a tip, tip toe man or something.
I don't want to, don't you ever say that name again.
I don't know what the random superhero names.
So the overseer stuck.
And so now he's looking for, he doesn't know that David, that Kevin is also superhuman
and he's only superhuman in the beast form.
It's not like the Hulk once he, but not like the Hulk because if Bruce Banner got hurt
in his human form, he would burst into the Hulk.
Yeah.
Right?
Like he wouldn't get hurt.
But if you hurt Kevin as a normal human, he would die.
But as the beast, he would be almost indestructible, well, not indestructible because he took those
bullets and you actually see like the scar over his chest where it's healing.
Like it's a circle with a line across where he got cut.
So he, he, he, I guess he healed from two bullet wounds in two weeks, which is fucking
extraordinary.
And so he's going to eat these cheerleaders.
David then finds him and they get into a fight and Kevin tried to do the fucking a bear hug
on it because he has this fucking signature attack where he comes up from behind and does
a bear hug, which is like, once he gets you, like with that amount of power and strength,
like you're pretty much fucked up.
He's going to crack your fucking ribs in half.
But it's not hurting David.
It's just like, they're just like, they're physically struggling equally.
And so it's like, so he's getting fucking bear hug.
So David's like, well, better might as well jump out the window.
He fucking throws both at the fucking third story window.
He's like, fuck it.
And they end up landing on the ground and they get back up.
The beast is like fucking pounding his chest, like, oh, a worthy challenger.
And David gets up like nothing happened to him.
And they're about to run at each other.
And then the fucking police show up and they both get arrested.
And they use this fucking light thing, like a sudden flash of light.
And apparently it messes with, because it's the light, it messes with Kevin's personalities.
So that's another one takes over because the light flashed.
It's like, bam, it's a different one.
Bam, it's a different one.
So they flash and he ends up getting knocked out from the flash.
And David gets arrested because they tell him like, David, you might be able to escape,
but you're going to hurt a lot of people in doing so.
So why not just give up?
So he gives up so he doesn't hurt any of the police officers.
So they go into the mental institution and where Elijah Price has been for the last 16
years.
And the horde is afraid of David because they're like, is that a normal guy?
Because he sure as shit didn't look like a normal guy when he was fucking based.
He was going toe to toe with their, you know, their, their God.
And he was, it's funny because they were on site for the most of the movie.
The minute they saw each other, they're like, oh, that's fucking God.
But they're just seeing more like they're, they're put on opposite ends of the, the,
the Sanisam, right?
But their doors can see each other.
Like it looks like the corners for some reason.
And the doors open, both of them open once for the orderlies come in and out and the
beast sees him and he turned like, Kevin sees him and he turns immediately into the beast
and then Dunn sees him.
He's like, let's go.
And they both start running at the fucking door.
It was so fucking funny to me.
I think like, it's on site.
Like literally, yeah, like they were ready to fucking go.
The beast really wanted to fight him and the whore is afraid of someone being equal to
the beast because the beast is there to protect.
He's been there to protect Kevin from the beginning from his mom.
And now from every, anybody that's impure, that's, that's the beast's whole fucking goal
in life is to protect Kevin.
So there being a person of equal or superior power to the beast is terrifying for the hoard.
So we can't protect Kevin if there's a guy that can beat his ass or if the guy, they
beat the beast's ass.
Yeah.
Anyway, so this woman, the psychiatrist has three days to convince all them that all this
stuff that they believe is a psychosis, that all this stuff that is on their mind, it's
not true.
You're not super powered.
They need, all this can be explained, this and that.
And it doesn't really, I had a part where I'm like, I don't really believe you.
If, if, if this stuff isn't true, why did you put David in a steel door behind a steel
door?
I'm not saying that, but you made it to where there's a 15,000 gallon tank connected to
his room that if he tried to escape, he was pretty, pretty sprayed with water.
So what's the point?
Like if the powers weren't true, right?
Why would you worry about the water?
Right.
You would be feeding into a psychosis of his weakness.
Like if he believes that that's part of his super weakness, he would, you know what I
mean?
Yeah.
So I'm like, why would you put the one thing that he thinks is his weakness in there to
stop him?
Like it's like fucking all these high powered fucking nozzles all over his fucking room.
And if he tried to do anything, he'll spray, he'll get the shit sprayed out of him.
So I'm like, that just does it on from a psychological point of view, from a psychiatrist's point
of view, I wouldn't feed into his psychosis.
If that would just make it worse.
Right.
Like, cause that means I believe that he has that ability.
That's why I made the fail safe.
So that was their first stupid mistake.
Yeah.
To me anyway, but I'm sure they didn't have a choice of, I guess for the movie it had
to make sense.
Cause they knew the tank actually for the movie to work toward the end.
I guess you got to use a pool somehow, but I guess not logistically.
Like I'm thinking of it from a screen, a screenwriter type thing.
Yeah.
So anyway, so this lady is trying to convince them that they're all normal, but they're
not throughout the whole time, because this is now called the movie called glass.
Yeah.
So we went from unbreakable the first, the second was called split.
This was called glass.
So throughout this whole movie, Elijah has all these tricks, these things that he's trying
to do because he's trying to get David and Kevin to have a final confrontation.
He's the mastermind, David Dunn's the superhero and him being the mastermind, there's always
a henchman supervillain that fights the hero physically while the mastermind fights him
intellectually.
So him and Kevin team up, they escape.
They allowed David to escape.
They're told they're going to go to this Osaka tower building in front of all these millions
of people because it's the grand opening and they should fight there to show the world
that they're real.
And so yeah, so David has his powers.
The beast has his and the glass will have like hyper intelligence, like superhuman intelligence
is his power because he's also a super, I guess superhuman.
And so he plans all this out to, and he tricks everyone to think that they're going to those
Osaka building and they end up going outside into the parking lot.
They all end up escaping and they have this fight with the police.
They have the fight between David and the beast.
This awesome fight against a fucking van that just seemed realistic.
What David tried to punch him, like he's punching holes into the fucking van from a heart.
He's trying to punch the beast and you have the beast who's like fucking like running
on all fours, like a fucking leopard.
And you have him like, David was actually winning the fight because he was knocking
him up against the van and you can see the beast like, oh fuck, we get knocked the fuck
out.
And Mr. Glass tells him, hey, throw them into that water tank.
The weakness is, the water is his one weakness.
So he fucking picks him up and throws him into the fucking tank.
And of course the beast dives in there to fucking drown him, right?
David starts smashing against the glass, or not glass, but it's like plastic, that hard
plastic.
Oh, like plexiglass?
Well, no, it wasn't a glass, it was just plastic.
But they're talking about glass for like a tank, a water tank.
So he like, but not like malleable, but it's like that hard plastic.
So he breaks it, they pour out, David's weak from the fucking water.
The beast is like, we'll finish that in Osaka.
He was going to kill him there, but he's like, he wants the world, because the beast wants
the world to know he's superhuman.
But because all those attacks he did earlier, there was not a lot of coverage.
If he does it at the fucking opening of the Osaka tower in front of hundreds of cameras,
they'll believe, they'll have to believe him.
Okay, and then I, yeah.
We'll film, we'll settle this.
I'll see you at three o'clock in the backyard, my playground, you know what I mean?
So he leaves, right?
But then the fucking police get there.
And each character has their own little side character.
David has his son who's there.
Kendall has that girl who had a connection with Kevin, and not the rest of the person,
but just Kevin, because they've both been abused, so they have the same bond.
And Elijah has his mom there.
And Elijah's still in the wheelchair from a break from when he fell down the stairs
a few years ago.
He's still broken.
And so they're all there to like, they're all having these little conversations and
talking back and forth between their side characters, the main characters, all this
stuff is going on.
The psychiatrist is trying to get the police there to stop them.
So they get there, they start fighting the cops.
The cops get there, they start fighting the beast and David.
David pushes like fucking four cops into a fucking like shipping container.
Then he closes it up with a fucking rebar and fucking bends it in half to keep it like,
I'm just trying to keep you safe.
And then fucking David eats, or Kevin eats fucking one of the cops.
Oh, yeah.
So then the big plot twist happens that Joseph, David's son found out.
It turns out 16 years ago at the East Rail 177, not only was David on the train, but
Kevin Winokrum's father was on that train.
And his father was trying to figure out, he was like a psychiatrist trying to figure out
how to help his son.
And so it turns out that Elijah Prince not only made David the superhero, he created
Kevin, but it took 16 years for Kevin to form into like the beast.
So don't you see, it's all connected.
So all of it is fucking connected some way somehow.
Yeah.
Like it's like the most connected, perfectly complex, but believable story.
Like Elijah would build both of them by killing Kevin's father.
It made his mom crazy enough to abuse him.
And they're in turn creating the beast that 16 years later would fight David, who he also
convinced was a super being.
All those years ago, 16 years ago, it's fucking insane how intricate it is.
And the beast is like, he was happy that he was created, right?
But now he can't trust Elijah for killing his father, Kevin's father.
And so he fucking punches him in the chest.
And him being brittle as fuck, even a fucking slap from the beast would have killed him.
So he fucking punches him and he pushes him back like, oh, fuck.
And so he goes back to fighting David.
And this is what I've been meaning by funny.
So Elijah's in the wheelchair, right?
He rolls back and he just got punched in the gut, probably broke every fucking bone in
his ribs.
All his ribs, everything just fucking shattered.
He fucking falls out of the wheelchair onto his knees.
But him being brittle, both his knees break on the way down.
So he fucking, he lets out another, you can hear like crack, crack.
He's like crack, crack.
So he lets out, so he yells out when he gets hurt in the ribs, right?
Yeah.
And he does another, oh, my fucking knees.
It wasn't supposed to be funny, but him fucking breaking his knees on the way down.
I was like, wow.
He's going to be on a stretcher instead of a wheelchair.
So the police get there and the girl ends up using the Kevin Wendell Crumb phrase to
bring Kevin out, right?
And what she does, the fucking snipers take a shot and kill Kevin.
He's human again, shoot him.
Pow!
Fucking shoot him in the gut, he dies.
One of the cops drags Dun into this fucking like, uh, asphalt, like this broken like pothole.
They fucking drown him, killing him too.
Right before he gets killed, the psychiatrist that was trying to convince him they weren't
superheroes, asks, has they, take my hand, David.
David's like, what?
I'm fucking drowning.
Okay.
And he has a flashback and it turns out that she's part of an organization that for the
last 15,000 years, they've gone about killing any superhuman to keep the world into the
status quo.
So that's why she was trying to convince, they try to do it humanely by trying to convince
them they're not superhuman.
It's where they go back to normal lives.
Right.
If they can't, they have to kill him.
Yeah.
So they ended up killing Kevin.
A lot should die from the wounds inflicted by Kevin because I mean, if he brittle, yeah,
even like a slight punch from me would have killed him.
So imagine a superhuman punch to the stomach.
And broke his knees too.
And he broke his fucking knees on the way down.
I just like the fact that he was so hurt from the stomach, right?
That the knees must have hit him so hard because like, you know, like imagine like taking two
pains.
Yeah.
It's like that joker thing.
Like when you, when he's like, you know, when you hit someone really hard, that next hit
isn't as effective, but apparently the knee cracks were just as effective as the fucking
stomach punch.
And then a second yell when he fucking broke his kneecaps.
I'll fucking say, I'll rewatch the movie and I'll send you the clip where he's like, oh,
my fucking knees.
And so like David Dunge is the worst and they fucking drown him in a puddle of fucking water.
Oh.
Like the most disrespectful way to die.
Like here's your weakness.
But like, I mean, like if he drowned in like the ocean or like a fucking like massive river.
Right.
Fighting the villain, right?
Like a dragon in a puddle.
He couldn't fight him off to begin with though?
No, from the water from earlier, he was weak and still because of David.
Yeah.
So I don't know if it's because of Kevin.
So they had a perfect time to kill him.
They just kept fucking running and playing.
The water once his fucking mouth hits the water, he's probably fucking choking it up
anyway.
But he just has like a fucking like a...
It's like an attraction almost to the water too.
He just goes straight into his mouth like immediately.
And so they're all dead.
All the super power beings are dead.
But Elijah's plan, surprise, it was never to go to the Asaka Tower and have a duel in
front of all these cameras.
Yeah.
There was a hundred cameras installed at the psychiatry ward and he ended up taking all
the footage that the organization deleted.
He took all the footage and he put it onto a different server on an offsite computer
and to have distributed to the world once they died.
So they would see the whole fight between David and Kevin, their super powers, all this
and that.
So he's like, checkmate.
That was his ultimate plan in the end was to show...
To expose the entire thing.
To expose that super humans are real.
And so the movie ends with the side characters, the girl, the mom and Joseph, David's son,
watching as the people watch this new footage all over this.
Like they just ended up walking, I think they walked to the same subway station that David
went in the first movie.
They just walked with the fucking phones like, what the fuck?
You see this guy?
Cause at one point fucking Kevin flipped the whole cop car over.
He's like, fuck this car.
I remember cause one of the cops was like, we out of here.
We get the fuck out of here.
One of the security guards like, we out of here.
We out of here.
I don't fucking blame them.
Cause imagine a guy coming up and flipping your fucking cop car.
Like, yeah, I'm done.
Go get the fuck out of here.
So yeah, all the heroes die, but, or all the super powered beings die.
But Elijah being so smart, he had, he planned that for them.
Even if they had, even if like he lived or die, they were going to, he was going to expose
everything.
So now the new age of heroes, like if M. Night Shyamalan ever goes another three, which I
guess he wouldn't because that was the whole like, the whole thing, all three fucking movies
it turns out were origin movies.
Like each one of them.
The origins of the, of the super beings, I guess.
Yeah.
David, Kevin, and then Mr. Glass.
They call me Mr. Glass.
My name's Shatter.
They also had the perfect color scheme too.
David had dark green.
Kevin had yellow and Mr. Glass had purple.
Cause when they were sitting at like a little like a group meeting for the, for the, when
they first meet the doctor, all three of them together, they all have the color scheme and
they're all sitting in line.
Like each color is like, oh, that's fucking cool.
And they really worked on the color scheme for this movie.
Yeah.
And they didn't do much in the second movie.
Cause I think they, they want people to realize that it was connected to Unbreakable.
Like wait, that color scheme was in Unbreakable where like everyone has a different color.
Yeah.
But they really pulled it into a, on the glass.
Cause you know, once the, the, the cat's out of the trap.
And I was like, damn, that color, that idea is awesome.
Like it's like giving every character is their distinct color.
It's like almost like, it's really cool to me.
I don't know why I liked it so much, but I loved it in glass and in glass and more in
Unbreakable.
Yeah.
Cause you notice it by yourself, like for like, wait, they all have a different color
scheme.
That's kind of how they do it a lot with the anime too, where they have like characters
have a certain color scheme.
That way you remember who they are.
Exactly.
That's why I guess this is where he was pulling out from.
Yeah.
But he even said like in through like the character dialogue of the movie, like there's
always a secret organization behind, you know, the superheroes and like he had, like he, he
really read the comic books and built a little world himself.
The origin of the superhero, the super villain, the interconnection of all the characters,
the side characters interconnected too.
Cause the girl that Kevin, uh, spared or the beast spared when it is going to the school
at high school right now in the movie of glass where Joseph Dunn, David's dad went when he
was younger and they even show a picture of, is that Joseph Dunn?
Like in like the little hall of fame thing they have.
Yeah.
Like it's like, it's all just fucking interconnected.
It's fucking insane.
Plus he's so good at dialogue, like realistic dialogue.
Like if I had to like make a difference, uh, it'd be like Quentin Tarantino has what I
call idolized dialogue where everyone has speaks in the cysts.
Like, like they're so like smart witty, every character, like they have like this, like,
you know, like charisma to them.
Uh, M. Night Shyamalan's characters feel real.
Like they're like, sometimes they say dumb shit or sometimes they, you know, they don't
know what to say.
Like they sound realistic, like they would real life where Quentin's character sound
idealized.
Yeah.
How would want to sound.
Now what you think of like after you give him some thought.
Like fucking bum sat like that, even in the shower like that'll show when you say something
fucking witty.
So yeah, that's how they, if I had to like, uh, compare them, the real to the idealized.
Right.
Neither of them are bad.
They're both good in their own way.
Right.
But man, and plus M. Night Shyamalan's in all three movies.
In the first one, he plays a drug dealer at the, at the, uh, at the, uh, the stadium and
David done bumps into him.
But when he bumped into him, you realize that he has a different shirt on when he, cause
he pulled up some drugs out of him from the trash bin in the, in the bathroom, like a
fucking, like a thing of weed.
He had a different shirt on.
And when he did, when David bumped into him, he had a different jacket, colored jacket.
So you realize, oh, he's, cause he does a pat down and he doesn't find anything, but
he didn't find anything cause he was looking at something from further away.
Something happened before.
And then cause he had like a yellow jacket, yellow blue jacket in that scene.
Yeah.
And then the flashback scene, but you know, just a regular blue jacket.
And so it makes you realize like, cause David hasn't fully realized that it was a different
timeframe.
Like he's thinking like, maybe he just, he did it just now.
And so in the second movie, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, what is he?
He's like the security guy at the home, at the apartment where the psychiatrist lives
that Kevin meets.
And so he does all the security work, all the cameras and everything.
And then the third movie, he has to, he's at David Dunn's shop to buy a camera.
Cause he said like one of my tenants, cause I guess he's a landlord, one of my tenants,
he died off site.
So now all my tenants are fucking freaking out.
So I got to buy a new camera system.
And, and he made sure to know that he's actually the same character from the first movie, the
drug dealer.
He's like, wait, don't I know you?
He said, yeah, you used to work at the, at the stadium.
I used to run with some shady people back then.
I turned my life around with positive thinking.
So it's the same person.
Cause he went from a drug dealer to a security guy to like a landlord.
So the guy changed my life around with positive thinking.
Like when, when M9 Shamline does it, he does it well.
Fucking phenomenal.
Man.
I'm going to have to go back and watch them now.
He's real.
177, uh, unbreakable and split on, on Matt.
No unbreakable is on Max split is on Hulu and Netflix has glass until 31st of July.
Hey man, I gotta do what I kind of do.
Commitment to the bit.
That is it for the East rail 177.
Uh, I'm thinking in 10 years, I'm going to do a, a continuation trilogy for you guys
with co-created with M9 Shamline.
Let me go talk to them.
But don't you worry.
The trilogy will continue or like the universe will continue with a new group of villains
and superheroes.
10 years.
Uh, you'll do another section of midweek definition.
10 years.
I'll be fucking eating ass.
You know, okay, pour in a furrow, tell the fucking word that you get.
Okay.
Amazingly, uh, the things that we don't want to look at, like, excuse me.
I'm gay for pay.
All right.
Like, but you don't get paid, paid anything.
Yeah.
I get paid experience.
I get paid in other ways.
Get my fucking black blown out on camera by none of the best thing I want to see.
It's like, dad, is that you can your back blown out?
I know.
No, it's not me.
That's AI.
Right.
You can use that for almost anything now.
They're doing it.
How does this our watermarking their videos?
Yeah.
Because there's nothing you have to like make sure it like, these are my real videos.
These are fake.
Yeah.
Because a lot of that kind of stuff can be big.
Have you seen some of those unreal engine ones and stuff?
My gosh.
Goodness gracious.
Like it's getting grain balls of fire.
And then a lot of that kind of stuff.
I make a fucking East rail 177, a remake with like AI.
Probably.
Yeah.
If you had a strong enough computer to do it.
Yeah.
It's cause the next to the universe.
Well think about it.
Like with a lot of the AI stuff now, you can make a video by just a prompt and it'll make
you a full video now.
I mean, it's not cheap to use it.
I don't think, but yeah, it's just fucking saps your fucking whole electrical system.
My God.
I bet your fucking computers is lit up in the back.
It's just on fire.
Fucking flaming.
You created accidentally brainiac.
We're ripped the whole reality.
Give all the CIA everything.
Every piece of information you got.
Isn't the CIA like a circle, right?
The CIA building in Langley?
I think so.
It's like a leg.
It's like a whole round like a, and then the middle is like a courtyard, right?
Yeah.
Like imagine, like I just imagine like ripping a hole through that.
Like, like I built a wormhole there by accident.
I didn't even try.
Oh, whoops.
Instead of the Pentagon.
I bet you the underground system is fucking vast.
Yeah, I would assume so.
Like do you think the Pentagon just is what it is?
My fucking massive down there.
Or like the White House and stuff.
You know, that shit goes much further.
You know, if I was a president, I'd just be living underground.
You walk into the fucking vaults, see what I could find.
The name Lincoln's fucking dagger.
Let me see that.
There's a top hat.
You can't find a gigantic hat.
You can't find this random shit in the fucking, the vaults of the White House.
I would do some horrific shit.
Look what I found.
I found a porno with the president's on it.
I'll go further inside.
There's Thomas Jefferson's dildo.
I don't know.
Yeah, one.
Yeah, three actually.
They all swiveled.
I love that that was a swivel chair.
They attached to the swivel chair.
They were attachment pieces.
Man, he must, man, that'd be wild.
It's like all the secrets and like history down there.
I'm sure there's quite a few things.
Now imagine the Vatican.
You know, the Vatican's like the largest collection of pornography in the world, I think.
I think they really heard it somewhere say, yeah, I bet they do.
I wonder how much I got petition for them.
They wouldn't let me see it.
And now I fucking put on the white gloves to peel back the manuscripts.
Fucking cum stains all over it.
Like, I'm sorry.
I know.
It's not because the pages are old.
It's just because they're so sticky.
That would be fucking wild.
Porn from 400 BC.
Good Lord.
And thus he thrust it.
Into what he did not know.
Pig, man, woman.
It did not matter to him.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I remember seeing that video of that guy fucking a tailpipe.
No.
Yes.
That came up on Twitter.
It's like, what the fuck?
Jesus.
It's like, God, now your car's won't even stay.
He had to get us some way.
Because he looks around and watch him.
He unbuttoned his pants and just started going to town on a car.
Hell yeah.
It's like, what the fuck did I just see?
That shit would feel like it would cut his fucking dick to shreds.
You would think.
Jesus.
He's done it multiple times.
It's good.
How fucking fat is his cock that it's even in any fucking tracks?
How big is a fucking tailpipe?
It's either got to be a small tailpipe.
Or he's fucking packing a goddamn Pringles can.
Oh shit.
All right.
Ready to move into our character spotlight for the week.
Yeah.
What do we got?
All right.
For the first character that we got, we got DC Comics again.
Wildcat.
Oh yeah.
Wildcat.
Who's the next one?
The one after that will be, if I can find my notes here.
Maybe.
Oh, my nose is dying.
Your nose is always stuffy.
And it's true.
What kind of hand does that have, people?
It'll be Enchantress.
Oh, okay.
Two different ones.
And not the suicide squad's Enchantress either.
That one is a horrible character.
With that weird fucking jingle shit?
Yeah.
With that weird belly dance that was CGI?
Horrible.
All right.
So the first one we got is Wildcat.
Okay.
DC Comics is the publisher, first appearance is in Sensation Comics number one in January
of 1942.
Damn.
So he's a really old actor.
Dang.
It's like a little couple years after Superman and Batman.
Yeah.
Jesus.
He was created by Bill Finger, same guy that created Batman.
Really?
Yeah.
And artist Erwin Hason.
Alter Ego is Theodore Ted Grant.
Okay.
He is a metahuman.
Same affiliations are the Justice Society of America, Suicide Squad, All Star Squadron,
and Justice League.
He's got powers?
Somewhat.
He does have abilities.
We'll get to those in a little while though.
Basically Theodore Ted Grant is a normal human who was given magical, he was magically given
nine lives.
Okay.
So like a cat.
He remains at the peak of human condition due to his extensive workouts.
He is a world-class boxer who is trained by, who has trained Batman, Black Canary, and
even Superman in the art.
Is he making boxing?
I don't know if I've seen him throwing three fucking jabs in a fucking right hook.
Just pop out.
Yeah.
You don't see him do that?
And Darkseid's like, what the fuck?
He does that to that criminal that knocks his jaw off.
Just the fat guy sitting there.
I just thought, I don't see Batman, Superman like fucking bombing and fucking weaving.
And then he fucking like Tyson like, oh shit.
Imagine if he started fighting like that.
Like imagine like, damn like, yeah, like if he put his, all his like weight behind a real
punch.
An actual punch?
God, Jesus.
Does a fucking Dempsey roll and then fucking cracks you across the dome.
And I mean, Black Canary could probably use it because all she's got is that voice.
She needed something else.
She's gonna fight like a boxer.
He was trained fighting, let's say he was trained to fight and to become in fighting
condition by X-Boxer Joe Morgan, the same man who trained Grant's fellow mystery man,
the Adam and the Guardian.
So the Adam, the Adam was like that five foot two guy.
Yeah.
He was like, he went from 98 pounds a weekling to 114 pounds of flyweight muscle apparently.
Yeah.
Ted Grant, first on the Wildcub costume in Sensation Comics, 1942.
The same issue in which Mr. Terrific premiered.
Mr. Ruff is that old too?
Yeah.
Well, they're black though.
Yeah.
Like I don't know how well they would portray a black man in 1942.
You win third, didn't you?
I'm just being honest.
I don't think they showed him very well.
Wildcats origin is chronicled in Sensation number one, as well as Secret Origins number
three from 1973 and Ars Ar Squadron annual number one in 1982.
Henry Grant vowed on his baby son's crib that he could...
On the way on his son's crib, not his son.
So he's like, wait, the wording, he vowed nothing.
He picked up his son and threw him aside and he vowed to his crib.
Listen, crib.
Henry Grant, so this is his dad, basically vowed on Ted Grant's crib.
So if the...
Wait, so what the crib?
I don't...
I know what they're trying to say.
He was laying in the crib, but that's not what you...
So Henry Grant vowed on his baby son's crib that his child would not grow up afraid of
life.
So he encouraged his son to participate in sports.
Orphaned during the Great Depression, Ted Grant found himself unemployed in the big
city.
One night he saved Soccer Smith, the heavyweight boxing champion, from a mugging.
So what?
He couldn't play soccer?
What the...
His name is Soccer Smith and he decided to be a boxer instead.
Soccer and I spelled S-O-C-C-E.
Soccer.
S-O-C-C-E-R?
Yeah.
Soccer Smith.
Clever.
It's a good name.
It was actually Soccer Smith.
I play soccer.
I'm a boxer, but my name...
S-O-C-C-E-R, sir.
Sucker.
No, soccer as in S-O-C-K-E-R.
Yeah.
Should've called him Socken.
But again, this is 1942.
How many people really played soccer back then?
Everybody.
They're not fucking goddamn global.
Now, yeah.
Jesus.
I don't know how old he was in the 1940s.
Jogger not, it was four.
Soccer took Ted under his wing and soon Ted became a heavyweight boxing champion in his
own right.
He also became tangled unknowingly in his manager's sinister plans.
Sinister?
I would love to hear his sinister plans.
It makes me sound like he's a joker.
I know.
His mentor, Soccer Smith, was killed by Grant's managers, Flint and Skinner, who used a syringe
loaded with poison and a boxing glove.
Jesus Christ.
So it is fucking sinister as fuck.
So it was pretty bad.
Yeah.
The dose was only intended to slow down Smith, but due to misjudging the potency, he died.
Nah.
When Grant was arrested for the crime, Flint and Skinner, afraid that he might know what
had really happened, arranged for the young fighter to be killed too.
Grant escaped the attempt and survived, but the policemen with him were killed.
As a result, he became a fugitive.
Later he came upon a child who had been robbed of his Green Lantern comic.
The boy, describing the mystery of being Green Lantern, the Green Lantern comic, inspired
Grant to create the costume of a large black cat.
He took the name Wildcat and vowed to clear his name.
He brought Flint and Skinner to justice.
The criminals were forced to confess, clearing Grant's name and obtaining justice for Smith.
Using the identity of Wildcat, Grant continued to fight crime after that.
By issue four, Wildcat had a custom motorbike, the cat-o-cycle, and a comedy sidekick named
Stretch Skinner.
In the pages of All Star Comics, Wildcat had a few adventures as a member of the Justice
Society of America.
In the 1980s, whenever the All Star Squadron was published, it created a retroactive continuity
in which the majority of World War II mystery men interacted with each other.
Wildcat had a place as a member in the conglomeration of heroes as well.
In the 1970s run of All Star Comics, Wildcat played a central role as a JSA member.
In the story arc, when Witch saw Green Lantern go berserk, the Commissioner Bruce Wayne issued
an arrest warrant for the JSA.
It was Wildcat's ability to look fear in the face that allowed him to defeat the real mastermind
of the disaster, the second, Psycho Pirate.
Psycho Pirate.
You know what's wild about Psycho Pirate?
He's like one of the main characters portrayed in the new Justice League Infinity Crisis
movie, part two.
Really?
Yeah, I was watching it last night on Macs.
Psycho Pirate?
Yeah, part one, and then Psycho Pirate is like the main driving force of part two.
Oh really?
And then part three, whenever it drops on Macs.
I'm not paying 20 bucks for that shit on Amazon Prime.
In 1985 during the Crisis on Infinite Earths, Ted's legs were shattered by an out of control
where it felt like he had a lot of his kneecaps and he broke them off of a fucking wheelchair.
We were talking about that, it's like oh that happened.
Everyone's breaking their fucking knees.
And he was told that he'd never walk again.
He soon discovered that his granddaughter Yolanda Montez had recently become the second
Wildcat though.
Wildcat.
Back on Earth One, an Earth One version of Ted Grant existed pre-Crisis and teamed up
with Batman, himself a retired World Heavyweight Champion, like his Earth Two counterpart,
on five occasions.
This version of Ted had a relatively minor career and his origin and early years were
not chronicled.
This version of Ted also ceased to exist following the events of Crisis on Infinite Earths, with
the Earth Two version becoming the dominant version of the new unified universe.
Right, so imagine fucking Mike Tyson breaking into the fucking drug house, right?
Yeah.
And just fucking wailing on people.
That's kind of what Ted did.
I'm here to stop crime.
Stop crime.
I need you to think before.
One guy's like, are you Mike Tyson?
And he's like this big goofy mask on and he's just getting fucking socked in the fangs.
No.
That would just be like, because they didn't really talk about that in terms of like a
realistic portrayal.
Yeah.
Imagine a guy dressed up like in a suit, like a Batman suit, right?
With the punching power of heavyweight boxer.
He's like, God.
Just caving fucking skulls in.
And they have all everybody's ears bitten.
Yeah.
He's just fucking, you see Batman doing the fucking Dempsey roll, huh?
Huh?
Oh my God.
Are you Mike Tyson?
You'll never remember.
Maybe.
Like imagine like he went up to like a regular Bane, right?
Yeah.
And Bane's like a powerful military like level guy, right?
Yes.
But like professional fighters are like above military in terms of like combat ability.
Like combat power anyway.
Right.
Yeah.
Like they have like the lethal stuff, right?
But like if it was like a one-on-one, no weapons, no nothing, it was just a fist fight.
Like imagine like Bane like coming up and that Mike Tyson five foot 10 fucking rocks
his shit off.
And Bane's like, oh.
He does the fucking wobbly legs.
You know what the best protruder of that is?
Was a short with Green Arrow where he was in an airport trying to save his princess,
this little girl.
Yeah.
And he has a fight with one of the henchmen and they have like a realistic looking fight
where like they're having like a boxing match.
The henchman does this little weird feint and then he somehow gets underneath the Green
Arrow's like guard and he punches him like square in the fucking nose and rocks his shit
and like boom.
I'm like, oh shit.
He caught him.
Well, remember the saying that I can't remember what comic book it was in, but Batman where
he's like, it isn't going to be somebody like Joker or somebody like that that kills him.
It's going to be the one kid that gets fucking lucky.
Some guy that like took like a couple of gases in boxing and fucking hit him across the jaw.
Yeah.
It's going to be that one person that he's not expecting that's just going to fuck him
up.
So he's prepared for it, but you never know.
It's bad when you're not afraid of like people like Bane or Joker or you know, like Riddler
none of them.
It's like, no, it's that one little henchman, that little cocky son of a bitch.
Which they made fun of or not made fun of, but they actually portrayed in Batman, the
animated series where it's the day Batman died where Joker, he puts all the villains
in like a courtroom and stuff like that where he's like, who killed Batman?
It's his job to kill Batman.
I'll have to find that video and show it to you later though.
All right.
After the crisis, the injuries that Ted had sustained were downgraded from paraplegia
to extremely severe injuries from which he recovered quickly.
He was also still a formerly the heavyweight champion of the world.
In addition, Ted is also credited with being an expert at combat through the though he
prefers to trade punches as part of his brawling style.
Even in his advanced years on several occasions, Ted has knocked out experienced fighters with
a single punch.
Later, Ted was present whenever the JSA willingly exiled themselves into limbo to prevent Ragnarok
as part of a time loop.
So now he was always training Ragnarok.
He remained there for several years until he was freed with the rest of the JSA in Armageddon
Inferno.
He was present during the Justice Society disastrous fight with X-Stand during Zero
Hour, which we covered a long time ago, and fell victim to X-Stand's time manipulation
powers which restored Wildcat to his proper age.
That of an elderly sickly man.
Damn.
In the wake of Zero Hour, Wildcat retired from active crime fighting and again became
a full-time trainer in his role as a professional boxer.
In private, he continued to train younger superheroes in the martial arts.
In addition, new details were revealed about Wildcat's past.
One being the existence of two sons.
His eldest son, Jake, was kidnapped by the Gila Wasp and later murdered by Killer Wasp.
His youngest son, Tom, was raised exclusively by the boy's mother without Ted's knowledge.
Ted also had torrid of affairs with Selina Kyle as well as an affair with the Time Displaced
Hippolyta.
So he got it, eh?
Yeah.
Although Batman got the first one.
Twice during the post-Zero Hour retirement, Ted was severely injured defending innocent
lives.
He received the first injury defending patrons of the bar Warriors, run by the ex-Green Lantern
Guy Gardner.
Later he was injured in a rescue operation during a planet-wide snowfall.
On both occasions he was treated on-site by Warriors and miraculously recovered from his
injuries.
It was later revealed that Ted possesses nine lives.
The result of the magician Zatara altering a curse placed upon him by a sorcerer named
King Inferno after Ted refused to throw a boxing match for the wizard.
Wow, so this was like, you know what, fuck you, here's a curse.
Yeah, and Zatara changed it.
So is Zatana's dad.
What was the curse?
Cause they just gave him nine lives.
Yeah.
It was intended to transform him into an actual cat.
But instead gave him nine mortality, meaning that he can only die if he is killed nine
times in rapid succession.
So fucking impossible unless you're told by the fucking volcano.
Yeah, like dad, dad, dad, dad.
Or nine well-placed bullets.
You got dead shot up there.
Many men.
Would you just have to maul me?
That would be hard to kill a motherfucking nine times in a row.
Yeah.
Unless you were in consecutive rapid succession.
Yeah.
You have to like, yeah, like everything would have to be like an instant kill.
Yeah.
And like fast.
Like the fucking omega beams or some shit.
That's probably one of the only things that could actually kill him.
Or just continuous laser from Superman.
Or he just fucking throws him into space, bitch.
Ha.
Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.
Just fucking blowing him in space.
And then he'd don't die.
I guess he wouldn't because he would be one death.
Like once you bring him back to life.
Yeah.
But then he would be all bloated and.
Where is shit that happens to you?
Your dead body in space?
Yeah.
In the DC universe in the Watchmen sequel Doomsday Clock.
Watchmen?
Yeah.
The Watchmen sequel Doomsday Clock.
Damn.
Wildcat is among the superheroes that return after Dr. Manhattan undoes his experiment
on the timeline that erased the Justice Society and the Legion of Superheroes.
In the pages of Dark Knight's Death Metal, Wildcat was with Alan Scott, Jay Garrick,
and Dr. Fate, guardian of Valhalla Cemetery.
In the pages of The New Golden Age, Wildcat visits Dr. Midnight during his studies of
Cherry Bomb and the notes that Human Bomb was left behind.
He asks about her situation with Yolanda as she missed her train.
His powers and abilities though.
Ted Grant is an expert fighter.
And we.
If you say powers and abilities, hands, and then we move on.
But he's got those hands.
He's a world champion heavyweight boxer.
At the peak of his physical condition, he is also highly skilled in other martial arts
such as, I'm gonna fuck up this.
More hands.
Capoeira.
Oh, Capoeira.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I got close.
I don't see that big motherfucker doing capoeira.
That's just a dancing.
I don't see him dancing.
Papakito.
Kickboxing.
Papakito is a scorpion from Mortal Kombat's main martial art.
Get over here.
Kickboxing.
Krav Maga.
I don't see that motherfucker kicking at all.
He's got like a thick ass tree trunk legs.
He needs them for fucking fisting.
Imagine getting kicked by him though.
Muay Thai and Tae Kwon Do.
He was given nine lives as a result of a magical spell which explains his longevity.
These nine lives have not only.
So if he dies of old age, he just comes back?
Well these nine lives have not only kept him young but also restored him to life if he
is explicitly killed.
He is also surprisingly strong and subtly super god.
If I could even fucking read that, it'd be nice.
Superbly adult.
Nice.
So he is faster than he looks.
Does somebody scare when a big motherfucker can run?
Also whenever the ultra human mind controlled all of the heroes and villains on earth, he
was unable to control Wildcat.
Wildcat?
Wildcat's resistance has never been explained other than ultra human knight quoting Mark
Twain who said that a cat can never be made the slave of a leash.
That makes perfect fucking sense actually.
Unruly motherfucker.
He's got the brain.
Whether this was another cat like ability Wildcat gained from the magical spell or there
is another reason was never explained or referred to ever again.
What if he had like small cat traits where like let's say they're all standing talking
at a meeting right there, they're all talking and he slowly pushes the pitcher of water
over and then drops over the edge.
He'd be fucked up and it'd be funny.
What the fuck Wildcat?
He can also cut through metal with his claws and land on his feet.
If I guess from whatever height.
I don't like that.
I like just his fucking knuckles just cracking skulls.
He's got claws too.
No, that doesn't feel right.
He's a Wolverine character from the Four World Wolverine.
I just want to fucking close hands.
He's got fucking titanium fucking knuckles too.
Probably does.
We got thick ass fucking bony ass knuckles.
You know I think when people put out one finger like and they have a like kind of crumb and
they like they smack it on someone's thigh and it shit hurts.
Yeah.
But he does that a lot to people.
That shit must fucking kill.
Now here's a list of his enemies.
Okay.
No, some of these are funny.
Buzzard Burnet.
Wow.
A cricket boxing manager.
That's one of his.
Unbelievable.
The caveman.
Is that caveman from Flintstones?
Caveman.
A caveman themed villain.
Flint and Skinner.
We already talked about them.
How they fucked him up basically.
Yeah.
Giles and Hog.
Jewel thieves that posed as private detectives.
Their activities led to Wildcat first meeting Stretch Skinner whenever the jewel thieves
tried to scam him.
Hmm.
So these are very like base level villains.
Yeah.
Which is fucking hilarious.
Tried to buy a cock ring of diamonds and they fucking swindle him.
The headless horseman.
Damn it I can't punch without there's not there.
A criminal who masquerades as the headless horseman.
Imagine him punching him in the stomach and it's his fat head down there.
Oh you rax.
Got his body shot some fucking kale.
Oh my fucking liver.
He also appeared in different versions or alternate timelines and different stories.
So we have DC the new frontier.
Wildcat cameos as a world heavyweight champion defending his title against Cassius Clay.
Cassius Clay.
That's fucking Muhammad Ali.
Yeah.
Kingdom Come.
The giant story that existed back then.
The gray haired superman.
Yeah.
And then basically Wildcat as a humanoid black panther with the soul of Ted Grant.
He is seen working with Batman's group and with other offspring of the Justice League.
It's not clear whether or not he dies whenever the UN unleashes a nuclear attack against
the medic humans at the end of the comic though.
Yeesh.
Yeah.
We have him appearing in the Sandman slash Prez.
Wildcat is portrayed as a boxer not as a superhero in that.
And then Earth 2.
In the story Earth 2 World's End Ted Grant appears as a boxer living in the same world
army refuge camp as Dick and Barbara Grayson during Darkseid's invasion of Earth.
After Barbara's death Ted trains.
The way they write it though.
He trains Dick.
But he does.
I train that dick.
In offensive and defensive fighting.
He had to restate your dick from other dicks.
And joins him on a mission to recover his lost son.
Just the whole phrase is fucking hilarious.
He trains Dick.
He's also appeared in live action which is surprising.
I guess he was in that Justice Society live action show or that Stargirl.
Yeah.
But I guess that's the only thing I can think of.
He makes an appearance in Smallville as well.
Appears in Arrow and Stargirl.
His fucking punch is hitting everyone in the face.
I'm leaving now.
Also appeared in Justice League part 2 legends.
Justice League Unlimited.
Voiced by Dennis Farina.
I wish I had a voice role.
Wow.
Yeah.
Batman the brave and the bold.
Yeah he wasn't there prominently actually.
Young Justice episode humanity.
That one I don't remember.
It was whenever they were active back in the 1930s.
And then.
Not really young then.
Old Justice.
He also makes a cameo appearance in Robot Chicken DC Comics special.
You probably remember that episode.
A couple of them yeah.
A few ones.
He also appeared in Justice League the new frontier.
He appeared in Justice League Crisis on Two Earths.
LEGO DC Superhero Girls.
Brain drain.
LEGO DC Superhero Girls Supervillain High.
DC Superhero Girls Legends of Atlantis.
Geez they should have gone with the girls ones.
Teen Titans go to the movies.
Oh god.
Justice League Crisis on Infinite Earths.
He is one of the I guess he is.
There's so many of you can't really.
He just makes an appearance.
Right.
You can't see them all in one go.
Like god dang.
Yeah.
Also appeared in video games.
Batman the brave and the bold the video game.
DC Universe Online.
And Scribble Not Unmasked a DC Comics adventure.
Obviously he's had different merchandise and stuff like that as well.
But alright second one we have for tonight is the Enchantress.
Who is she on Playboy?
Probably.
Like she's a freak so you know.
She fucked Ragman remember?
Fully ragged on.
No he looks like a damn bum and she fucked him.
I mean she fucked Frilly.
She's like I ain't a bum.
Real name is Dr. June Moon.
June Moon wow.
June Moon.
Yup.
Doctor of what?
What is she a doctor of?
A doctor.
Like dermatologist?
Is she a doctorate doctor?
No she's an actual doctorate doctor.
What was her field of study?
Cannot remember off the top of my head.
Paleontology.
She loved dinosaurs.
She liked dinosaur sized things.
Her species is homo-magi.
The same as Felix Foust.
The one that gets rocked by everybody.
You know I realized why Foust was so prominent in my head.
Based on that novel isn't it?
Or at least his name is.
There's a novel called Foust.
Yup.
That's what he was based off of.
The guy that sells his soul to the devil.
Abilities and power.
Dark magic.
That makes sense.
It sounds so familiar.
I couldn't place it when I was listening.
All they did was rip the full name.
They ripped out the whole fucking storyline basically.
Here's your origin.
You are Felix Foust.
Team affiliations.
She's been with the Suicide Squad Black, Shadow Pact, Sentinels of Magic, Forgotten Villains,
Justice League Dark and Justice League.
She's been in partnerships with Killer Croc, Sebastian Foust and Warlock's Daughter.
Then I said Shadow Pact.
Is that part of the Shadow Pact?
I didn't hear that.
I guess that was the third one.
I wasn't paying attention.
Yeah, Suicide Squad, Suicide Squad Black and then Shadow Pact.
Fucking phased out.
High Shadow Pact.
She also goes by Anita Sulfida.
Anita Sulfida.
The Soul Slayer.
And the Succubus.
The Dutch is a gobble.
The Dutch is a freak.
So June Moon was a freelance artist who was invited to a costume party in an old castle
and stumbled upon a secret chamber or an unknown magical being later named as Zamor, not Namor,
empowered her to fight an evil presence in the castle.
Saying the words, the Enchantress, her appearance changes from a blonde haired June to a black
haired and costumed Enchantress and defeats a Minotaur creature from a tapestry.
Shazam.
Kind of.
At least it's Shazam.
The Enchantress.
So fucking droll too.
Enchantress.
Like she just kind of whispers it under her breath.
Soon after she defeats a monster at Cape Kennedy and a mirage of demonic creature manipulated
by a crook.
In her next appearance however, the Enchantress is a misguided character fighting supergirl
who prevents her from gaining omnipotent magical power and canceling all other superpowers
on the earth twice.
Her supervillainous side takes over after this and the Enchantress then continues her
career as a member of the Forgotten Villains and part of the army of supervillains during
the Crisis on the Infinite Earths crossover event.
She is next recruited into the newly formed Task Force X.
And not from Marvel.
But soon to be known as the Suicide Squad.
On the chance that she could keep her villainous side in check.
In her first mission she uses massive magical energy to defeat Brimstone which sends her
over the edge and she becomes temporarily truly villainous.
During her tenure with the Suicide Squad, June Moon's control over the Enchantress side
becomes weaker.
And she destroys at least one mission because of this.
Team Mate Deadshot is tasked with taking her out should she get beyond control.
Eventually, Madame Xanadu diagnoses that June's loss of control is because she is using her
powers before she can control them basically.
She doesn't have actual control over her powers yet so it throws her into like this rage field.
So I had the same thing with Pokemon.
I had the genius idea of trading the Charmander, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle to a different Gameboy.
And then when I got to a certain level I would get them back.
So I'd have the three starters at the game.
Well they knew about that, the game developers.
So they made it to where if you weren't high enough level, badge wise, you'd have to hide
enough.
His mother would listen to you.
So he would do attacks that would not totally do.
Dirty little motherfucker.
I mean don't fucking blind rage.
He'd be like Squirtle use a water shot.
He's like Squirtle's asleep.
Dirty little bitch.
And the only way to counteract this is not to use them until her aura, which protects
her from the evil influences of magic, regains in power.
Charm's Antidote gives June a necklace that she cannot remove, which together with a ring
to be held by someone else, creates a feedback loop preventing the Enchantress from using
magical powers for evil as a temporary measure.
She also raises an army to destroy the town and perform terror attacks as stated in the
first mission.
So she's throwing some fucked up shit for Suicide Squad.
June then discovers that her Enchantress persona is in fact a separate entity from another
dimension fused with her, not simply a manifestation of magic.
She learned this when she and the other Suicide Squad members joined Nightshade on a mission
to free her homeland, the Nightshade dimension.
There she found out that the Incubus, which took over that dimension, is the brother of
Zamor who merges with her to give her the power of the Enchantress.
Ew.
Are they fucking?
I told you she's a freak.
You didn't believe me.
The Incubus rips his sister out of June, leaving her powerless.
Shortly afterwards, June disappears from the Suicide Squad for unknown reasons.
The unknown reasons, she had no powers.
Next thing that we see though, it's 11 years later.
After a storm caused by a war in Hell, June breaks free from the Ostrander Mental Institute
in New Jersey, where she has been for an indeterminate period of time.
Refusing to join with the superpowers fighting a demon invasion on Earth and in Hell, the
newly freed Enchantress is possessed by Dead Man to manipulate her into helping the fight
in Hell.
Once there, June's Enchantress persona is murdered by Sebastian Faust as a purely evil
act and the only way to reignite the fires of Hell.
That's a good way to reignite the fires of Hell apparently.
Kill somebody in a truly evil act.
It's like bam.
Next we see her in jail, a blight baptism.
June Moon is left in a semi-catatonic state after the removal of her Enchantress persona
and is committed again to a Helysium Fields Sanitarium outside of Detroit this time though.
Faust removes her from the sanitarium and reunites her with her Enchantress persona,
who had not been killed by him and had been masquerading as Anita Solita.
Anita Solita.
Looking on the south side of LA.
Anita Solita.
Does that mean, does that mean I don't play on like I need Solita?
So she needs a soul?
Anita?
A Solita.
Or does she want to be alone?
I need to be, I need Solis.
Is that what she's trying to say?
I need a Solita because Solita's alone.
Yeah.
So it's a play on words however they word it.
I'm trying to like, what are they trying to, are they just fucking with me or are they
actually trying to say something?
I can't concentrate because I gotta take a fucking piss.
I need to take a fucking break for a second.
I gotta fucking go.
All right, so Anita Solita.
An Exucubus working with a group of mafia style demons to create a gateway to hell and
resurrect Hermes Trismeguetis.
A mad sorcerer who wanted to destroy life on earth.
When June and the Enchantress are recombined, a new entity called the Soul Singer is temporarily
created which fades away shortly after leaving the Enchantress behind.
Once again a separate entity but cut off from her powers.
One moon is taken to look, to be looked after by Dr. occult after this.
You know what he pretends like?
Yeah I'm just a Dr. occult.
There ain't no fancy name for me.
Just call me Dr. occult.
It's the Dr. Midnight.
Dr. Torayn.
They just call me Dr. occult.
I study occult shit, okay?
Just call me Hocus Pocus.
Just start singing that song Hocus Pocus, you're in focus.
Got it.
It's your lucky day.
Is that an actual whole song?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna go with that.
It was in Disney.
I was just like, whatever was on back in the day.
Were they right on, uh, vacuums?
Yeah.
Then there was Hocus Pocus too.
Then you had that fucking cat that gets fucking crushed in half.
Yeah.
And I'm like, damn, this is a kid's show?
Yeah.
And then like he fucking puffs back up.
I know girls that can repeat the entire movie line for line.
Like, fuck.
Speaking about weird fucking like things in movies.
Yeah.
I remember there was this mummy movie where like they met this mummy.
And, uh, he was just like, the actor that played the mummy was the guy that does,
uh, Patrick's voice in, uh, uh, SpongeBob.
Oh God.
I swear.
I think it's him.
And like, he's like, they try to like, just like teach him how to survive or live
in like this, cause like he's just a mummy.
Like it's like a kid moving about a mummy.
Yeah.
He's trying to find his girlfriend or something.
I don't know what the fuck the whole plot is, but they have a mummy that they
just sort of like, he like a, like a hidden character, like a fucking ET type character.
Like what they try to hide him from the family.
Like try to help him out and all this and that.
Yeah.
And the reason I remember the movie so much is because there's this random ass scene
because it's two little boys and two, and one little girl, they're all riding a bike.
And, uh, they have to go find the mummy and he, uh, he, he escapes the house, right?
That we gotta go find them.
And the boys are in pajamas and the girls in her regular clothes.
And because she says, uh, it's like, it's like, uh, I don't wear a footsy pajamas.
Cause I sleep with a nude and I'm like, what?
What is such a random fucking line?
That is a very, and that's why it's burned in my memory.
Cause it's like, they're like fucking 10, 12 years old and this little girl
sleeps butt naked, apparently.
And I'm like, why did I have to know this information?
Is it called under wraps?
Yes.
That's it.
And I can never forget that.
Like, why, why did they, what, what, what adult wrote that line for a 12 year old to say?
That is a, I sleep with a nude.
And then like, it causes the little boy to be so aghast that you fucking
smash it on mailbox like, well, I know.
It's the same with the fucking parent trap with Lindsay Lohan.
Yeah.
Where they fucking have a, uh, they're playing poker.
One of them loses and she's got a jump butt naked into a lake.
Like if you, you love, I'm like, what?
What I guess be, I don't know.
Like, Hey, I'm guessing like that happened to them, like a form of that
when they were kids or something.
I, but again, look what came out with Nickelodeon.
Well, they were good stuff.
And the dude that did that stuff to, uh, what was his name?
Drake?
Yeah.
Drake bell.
Yeah.
So, you know, no, like sometimes it's just, you see it as an adult.
You're like, what the fuck?
Like that fucking little boy that kissed that old, that 30 year old woman in blank
check.
Yeah.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Fuck is going on?
Yeah.
There's some questionable stuff out there.
Well, that fucking total drama Island.
You ever heard of that?
We're like, uh, it's supposed to be like a parody of like those, all those
fucking reality shows, but it's a kid's show on a Cartoon Network.
And they have a scene where like this girl gets her fucking top ripped off
and they blur her titties out.
And I'm like, this is what?
Oh yes.
You've never said I've never, I've never forgot that.
Cause I'm like, what in the fuck is going on on comedy?
Like it's part of the network.
I got fucking six in the afternoon.
Yeah.
I'm like, I mean, that is, that wasn't the most brazen one.
That was blatant.
The rest of them, they could try to hide it by being like, oh, that's
just how kids talk.
That's how, no exactly.
But like the whole fucking titties clopping out, that's the most blatant
in your face when I've ever seen.
Yeah.
That's a, then again, it's, it's called Holly weird for a reason.
Jesus, man.
And remember it's like every Minecraft, a person that gets rich.
Yeah.
They end up being a fucking pedophile for some reason.
I don't know what the fuck, what the fuck is going on?
That or like, you're the one of the highest streamers in the world.
It's like time to become a ped.
Like, oh, that is pretty weird.
Like the minute they become like a millionaire, like way out time to, time
to start dating 12 year old girls, apparently good Lord, what the fuck
is wrong with you people?
Like, like I was feeling you're six foot eight.
You're a 42 year old man.
You're fucking, you have a daughter, a wife.
You were talking to an underage girl.
You knew it.
You're like, fucking let's just keep talking.
It's just weird.
I want to fucking burn my eyes.
How old is she 14?
Exactly.
It's like, like when in, uh, ultimate Spider-Man, when black cat found out
that Peter Parker was 15, she fucking threw up on him.
Yeah.
I remember that.
You remember?
Yeah.
That's I'm like, oh, yeah.
I'm going to go to jail.
I'll end up in jail.
And I over here fucking having his fucking pity, fucking party.
Like, I made a fucking mistake, man.
Like no fucking, you made that, you didn't make a mistake.
You knew what you were doing.
You made a blatant action and you, you got caught.
Now you're upset.
His whole fucking career is over.
And there's a whole list of it's sad because there is a whole list of them.
That's why, that's why I couldn't make it as a game streamer.
Cause hold on, maybe that's what happened.
You didn't have what it takes.
I didn't know what it takes.
That's a perfect way to say it.
Like I just didn't have it, man.
I didn't have that in me.
If that was a pedophile, I would have made it, but apparently not.
That's why I said the only one that's made it that actually is like a
wholesome person is PewDiePie at this point.
Here's hoping.
Because he's got, he's got a little, he's got a kid.
Here's hoping we don't hear some fucking horrific fucking stories in the future.
I guess I will say like, oh, yeah, figures cross.
But like, he's the, I'll say like on the surface, even he's the only one that
like seems somewhat normal, at least like humble enough.
So I from blurring the N word, he's okay.
Yeah.
But you know who hasn't done that?
You know, how do I just go scream to the N word?
I do.
I just say the N word, the N word.
Which makes me even worse.
You don't actually say the full word.
Just call it, you're an N word.
What was that word?
Nwa from, uh, uh, Merwin.
Nwa.
Wait, is that what they do?
You fucking milk drinker.
I don't know why they call me that, but I remember what I, I don't
remember the noise he made when he died.
The first time they called me a milk drinker.
What the fuck did you say to me?
I fucking know.
I fucking threw a firebomb.
Even worse?
Yeah.
I'm doing fucking close proximity.
So it killed me too.
We're both dead bitch.
Fuck it.
Talk about real, uh, uh, what is it?
A back draft.
That bitch blew up in his face and fucking came like, that kid shit's
getting real close to me.
All right.
Uh, the next time that we see the Enchantress is in Day of Vengeance.
So Ragman digs the enchantress.
Why is he under wraps now?
I bet you they cut it out too.
Is it on Disney Plus?
They better have.
Uh, let's see real quick.
Uh, let's see here.
Blah, blah, blah.
It is on Disney Plus.
Let's see if the horror is still there.
I just, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry from that.
I want to see like what the movie, I don't remember what the movie was about.
And I've seen it like 30 times.
Cause as a kid, like you got, you don't pay attention to right too much.
Yeah.
Like I don't know.
I don't remember a fucking shit about that movie.
I'm like, what the, I remember that moment in his mouth, like a
coffin fucking dust out, I think.
You have to go back and watch it now.
It makes me fear for my ultimate, my dementia.
Like if I don't like, I don't remember a fucking like, like with
animals and all the wrong fucking thing of animals.
I'm like, what?
What is this shit?
I was like, who are these fucking people?
I said for why aren't you using your power?
Like I can only picture like two of them and it was because they were
on the covers of the actual blights.
The books were that fucking like the picture was that fucking nice.
That I just like super opposed them under the show that I've never
fucking watched.
Yeah.
Well, as I watched the fucking commercials, that was enough for me.
I don't even know if I've seen those though.
Cause I swear there was, I'm like, like, like my other, did I get Mandela?
I feel like there was more to the fucking show.
Yeah.
And there's not, no, I think it was the books were just that like, uh,
or was I watching something else that I superimposed onto Animorphs?
I don't think so.
Was there even anything like that?
Not really.
I'm either fighting on a fucking spaceship and then fucking leaving
like the spaceship had landed then like having a fight with another fucking
land, the Animorph.
No, that happened in the book.
Right.
Then I imagine it in my fucking head of the show.
Because you, they were very well described and you had the character on every book.
So you knew what they looked like.
So in your mind, damn you Animorphs, you're ruling my life.
I know.
All right.
Um, next time we see her, uh, we have Ragman digging the Enchantress out from
under a destroyed forest after the specter bent on killing all the magical
beings in the places on earth kills nearly 700 sorcerers.
Oh yes.
When they first met, wasn't it?
Yep.
You had to pull like twigs out of her titties or something.
I just imagined an album.
Cause she always had that fucking like brassiere that always like left the top part of her.
Right.
Yeah.
This woman came in like that today where like she was, she was, her tits were like,
like there's tits, right.
And then there's what she had, which were fucking gargantuan.
And she had one of those dresses with no straps.
So it just covered and like with the top, like, like you can just see like the
amount of fucking, so I'm like, how much titty are you showing?
Cause like, she was showing so much that for another woman would be her whole titty,
but for her it was like half.
I'm like, God damn.
Cause they were so fucking big.
Like for, if it was like for regular women's right.
Yeah.
You'd see like their titties and then the person next to hers titties.
Like she had like the titties size of four different women.
Good Lord.
Like they were, I was like, God dang.
A man can dream to drown in such beauty.
But they were like fucking like, they were beyond the K.
Like they were like a fucking Z.
And I'm like, how do they, I was like, how are you able to keep them.
In there?
Yeah.
And without this fucking dress ripping the shreds.
I don't know.
Like, I don't know what my brain was talking to me.
Spam, spam, spam.
Like I don't know what my brain was telling me.
All it was like, it was telling you they're too big.
But we have to abort.
I don't know what the fuck, my brain was like so, we gotta get out of here.
Like it was like, I don't know what the fuck.
My brain was like so, we gotta get out of here, like it was like a threat.
Cause like we got, it's too, it's too far.
We need to run.
That's what I was thinking actually.
We need to run?
I was like, God dang.
These are some big titties.
Yeah, because I was like, fuck man.
Plus like, I'm also like not a creep.
So it's one of those things where you take a good glance and then you move on with your life.
You don't fucking like, yeah.
Like I've seen the guys just fucking stare for hours.
Just ogle?
Like fucking monsters.
Yeah, you don't want to do that?
Well, no, cause everyone's eyes linger or they, they, they move around.
Yeah.
Sometimes you get caught like something, you catch something.
Oh cool.
Like, oh, that's nice.
Or like that's a big ass and then you move away.
You don't sit there like, wow, for hours.
It's like, that's a big tittie.
Or you'd be like, oh, that's an interesting shirt and like this and that.
So like, it was like one of those things where like, but like then in your mind,
cause you remember it, you remember the whole fucking scenario.
It's like, God.
And I was like, cause like now you have a chance to analyze it later on.
You're like, wait, those things were fucking, God dang, fee five full Fumbas.
Fucking sweating now from the fucking, I'm just thinking about that now.
I'm glad I survived.
The fighter flight kicked in and you flew.
That shit must've been hard to lay on top of.
Like you have to, like, it's one of those things where like some stuff like,
imagine if it was like huge, like how do they lay on their ass when it's like
so fucking massive, like do they tilt down?
You know what I mean?
Like that's how my brain is so fucking sticking to the side.
Right.
Well, they just fucking their beast ass shit.
No one's.
What the fuck are we talking about?
What happened?
What have we got?
We went from under wraps to fucking big titties.
We're going to hell.
We'll be right along with all the stupid and dissonant.
Back to DC.
All right.
The enchantress divines us the seduction of the specter by Eclipso or Jean
Loring mentally from the safety of the pocket dimension, the oblivion bar,
where many magical entities have gone to escape him.
She then leaves to challenge the specter on earth, having first created a gun
that can kill her, should be turned to evil again and offering it to Ragman.
So basically she had like a sad moment where she fucking, she's like, he didn't
want to do it right.
Like, I don't want to kill you.
I'll put a save you, blah, blah, blah.
And then later on she mocks him for it.
Yes.
Like fuck you fucking bitch.
Yep.
I remember that.
I can, I feel so bad for him.
When she overloads again while challenging, uh, while channeling power from nearly
everyone on earth with magical capabilities to Captain Marvel so that he can defeat the
specter, she is put out of action by a punch from blue devil instead, nice.
Instead of being shot to death.
He's an equal rights.
Recovering quickly enough to devise a plan to lure the specter into a trap.
The enchantress helps with the reconstruction of the rocket of eternity in Gotham city
after facing Dr.
Nicole, who has been possessed by the spirit of envy during the day of engine series.
The enchantress, the rag man, blue devil, and a number of other magical entities form
the shadow pact super team.
Yeah.
So then we see her within shadow pact.
The shadow pact are summoned by the phantom stranger when the town of river rock Wyoming
is entrapped in a giant bubble of blood and endangered by the pentacle, a team of super
villains whose goal is to sacrifice the townspeople to summon the sun king.
I had that first issue actually.
Yeah.
It was a huge, uh, uh, circle, uh, and developed the whole town, but the circle was made of
blood and was soon, soon I got there.
He's like, how much blood is this?
Uh, fantasy is like, it's only a couple of drops cause they expanded the whole blood
cell all the way out.
Yeah.
And he's a bad Superman.
I love that.
He's so wholesome.
Not so much wholesome.
Like he was like a vanishing.
Just like, I can make a portal real cause it was so powerful that he can make a portal
for someone to go in, but he would be bounced out of the fucking, uh, the blood like a ritual
as a man like, all right, ready to go.
But he was about to like, whatever it is, I'm gonna go in there and beat some ass.
And then he's like, no, don't go.
You, you're substantial, substantial domestic attacks.
Let the shadow pack go.
But the fact that he was like, all right, you can make a portal, open that bitch up.
I'm about to go in there and beat some ass.
He was so ready to fucking go.
He had no, he just got there.
He was about to fucking start swinging.
Which is like, well, you basically, yeah, beat some.
So I'm in wholesome and thinking that, oh my God, that's a lot of blood.
He's like, I'm gonna go in there and beat the blood out of these motherfuckers.
Something you'd expect from Batman.
Basically.
Yeah.
But he's like, he's ready to go.
Like if there's evil afoot, he comes to stop it.
And if he doesn't have to hold it, he's ready to go.
And if he doesn't have to hold back, makes me even happier.
No kidding.
So yeah, so he had like a cameo on the mo- in the little scene.
Then he dipped and then the shadow pack went in.
Yeah.
And then I never, I never, I didn't have a car so that he could get to the club.
We could shop to get some more.
So basically 37 people perish before the shadow pack managed to defeat them.
The enchantress is able to turn, tap into the magical powers of Stregna,
one of the Pinnacle and destroy the bubble from within.
Her ink, she ink, incapacitates or possibly kills one of the Pinnacle, the white rabbit,
after he leaves them and frees the shadow pack considering him too unpredictable to work with.
It's like, oh you helped us? Boom bitch, you're dead.
Due to unexpected side effects of the magical spells needed to defeat the villains,
the outside world believes that shadow pack has been dead for a year
and they are honored with a team statue set inside the park of Metropolis.
Well they come back like what the fuck?
Yes.
I ain't that fucking fat.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
Like the worst fucking statue you've ever seen in years.
Oh I've seen some bad ones too.
Oh man.
The enchantress then helps the ragman defeat an assassin to kill him,
in the course of which they are attacked by the wild hunt, a legend and,
a wild hunt of legend and temporarily transformed into mystical hellhounds.
Shortly after, her spells are all save Jim Rook the night master,
after he is stabbed by his own sword fighting Etrigan the demon, staying at his side for
days without sleep and keeping him alive by trading a day of her life for a day of his
until he heals himself by the power of his sword.
Jesus.
After the shadow pack are seconded to checkmate to infiltrate Cobra's organization,
it's a long list of shit right there.
Yeah like what are we doing? You gotta go into Cobra, Cobra Kai.
You gotta fight them for the karate tournament.
She then helps foil Dr. Gotham.
You know they're all season 6 or some shit?
Seriously?
Yeah on Netflix on my one day.
I think I'm watching it.
Yeah apparently everybody.
All the TikToks talking about Cobra Kai.
Still?
Yeah.
God look at this 80's movie.
Now it's a fucking 2021 god dang TV show that won't go away.
Uh I didn't even watch the first episode so I don't even know.
Um she then helps foil Dr. Gotham's plan to destroy Chicago by entering his interdimensional
cloak and destroying most of the thousands of magical artifacts contained within.
She takes an apprentice, Laura Fell, the warlock's daughter, before they both unwittingly almost
allow a race of mindless creatures called the Unbound to reach Earth while creating
a portal to the land of nightshades where the night master, nightshade, and the ragman
are trapped.
She frees her colleagues and the inhabitants of the nightshade dimension by creating a
magical virus to combat the mage created virus and created the Unbound mixed of possessed
creatures souls with the essence of night master's virtues.
When the night master decides to stay in the nightshade dimension the enchantress kisses
him.
On returning to Earth she participates in the final battle against the sun king.
So apparently at this point the sun king has...
So he's still fucking woke up.
Yeah.
The shadow pact including the enchantress helped Captain Adam return to Mirabai's dimension
where General Sam Lane, Lois Lane's father, has moved the main base of his second anti
kryptonian project 7734.
7734.
So he's got an anti-kryptonian project.
Which is not fucking nuts. It's like a brass knuckles made of kryptonite. This will get
him.
In the new 52 DC comics cancelled all of their titles and relaunched 52 new comics.
Mother of part is dirty bastards.
One of these was Justice League Dark which features a number of supernatural themed heroes
including Shade, the changing man, Zatanna, John Constantine, and Madame Xanadu coming
together to fight an insane enchantress who has become separated from June Moon. During
the crisis the enchantress's power began randomly appearing across the world causing chaos.
The Sphinx of Giza comes to life and attacks tourists and hundreds of duplicates of June
Moon appear to search for the original. While the Justice League tries to intervene the
enchantress manifests as a colossal monster made up of the bodies of hundreds of June
Moons and defeats Superman, Wonder Woman, and Cyborg with ease.
Damn.
John Constantine deduces that Madame Xanadu set an incantation that separated June Moon
from the enchantress and reads an incantation that reverses the spell, reuniting the enchantress
and June Moon once again.
And then we have DC Rebirth.
So in DC Rebirth the enchantress serves as a member of the Suicide Squad again and during
the Black Vault story arc. They retrieve an alien item that serves as a portal to the
Phantom Zone. However, once they bring it back to Belle Reve Penitentiary it causes the inmates
to go into a killing frenzy except for Harley Quinn, Amanda Kowaler, Killer Croc, and Rick
Flag. Remember Rick Flag? That is an old character to be bringing up.
Is it? Was it Rick Flag in the new Suicide Squad?
It was he?
I thought it was that one guy that was like a Special Forces soldier.
Maybe.
That John Cena's character Peacemaker killed.
I think it may have been, yeah.
And puts that shit to his heart.
That's a good movie. He puts it in and then he fucking punch and sit in even further.
So it appears like yeah because they showed it where he stabs him in the chest, right?
Yeah.
And then he takes the palm of his other hand while he holds the fucking spike there and he
pushes it all the way and he crushes it like it rips through his heart.
Yeah.
They actually show the heart part going BAM like in CGI.
Yeah.
And like wow he's fucking yeah it was Rick Flag.
Yeah yeah I think it was yeah.
June Moon lets the Enchantress out who also remains unaffected due to being a magical
entity. She manages to get Harley Quinn to the vault but is incapacitated by General Zod
who then sucks the air out of her lungs.
Well he just fucking puts his lip in.
What the fuck? That'd be so fucking random.
Just all your hair coming out.
Like imagine he grabs her by the face and he puts his lips up the heart and that'll teach you.
She's trying to kiss her.
Basically.
In one of the later issues Waller calls Moon to help a military general whose house had been
possessed by a demon.
His little house huh?
She turns into the Enchantress but she ends up scheming with the demon to escape Waller and
destroy the world. She turns back into June to have the demon remove the bomb device and set
the Enchantress free but the demon attacks her and frightens her. June in retaliation unleashes magic
and banishes the demon without turning into the Enchantress though.
During the Justice League versus Suicide Squad storyline the Enchantress is sent with the
Suicide Squad to stop a cult from sinking an island as a sacrifice to their god.
The Justice League arrives and clashes with the Suicide Squad and she defeats Superman with ease
once she realizes he is vulnerable to magic. When Maxwell Lord breaks into Belle Reeve Penitentiary
along with Rustam Lobo, Dr. Polaris, the Emerald Empress and Johnny Saru, the Suicide Squad,
she threatens Lord only to make a quick overwhelming work by uh to be god if I could
even talk again now she threatens Lord only to be quickly overwhelmed by his telepathic powers.
So she still got fucked up.
Maxwell Lord?
Just Lord.
Yeah I thought was that guy Maxwell whatever?
Old Mac guy.
Uh you basically uh Maxwell Lord yeah.
Okay.
Yeah same guy.
Okay Professor X basically.
Yeah yeah uh powers and abilities here uh the Enchantress is depicted as a powerful sorceress
within the DC universe who widely regarded as one of the most dangerous mystical villains in the
superhuman community. Her powers is comparable to that of other powerful dark magic practitioners
such as the Wizard, Tenarik and Sebastian Faust. It is also said that the Enchantress
possesses greater sorcerous strength than Zatanna. Which is I think that's a one-off
because Zatanna is like extremely overpowered. By invoking the name Enchantress she can transform
into a magical state and possess a plethora of abilities granted by her magic such as flight,
the ability to phase through solid objects, object transformation and shape shifting.
In the new 52 era onward the Enchantress possesses reality warping abilities and
exhibits enough power to defeat Superman in combat. Enchantress also exhibits a unique
sensitivity for magic which enables her to establish connections with other magical
entities. For instance she linked to the essence of Eclipso conveying his thoughts uh to her
companions during the uh the entire Day of Vengeance storyline. That's how she knew that
Eclipso was basically kind of puppeteering the specter around and stuff. She also has
demonstrated the ability to attack the specter through mystical means and remotely access the
powers of other magical users including channeling the combined magical energy of numerous beings
to assist Captain Marvel in battling the specter. While her primary focus is on magic the Enchantress
possesses uh average athletic and hand-to-hand combat skills as well. Average? Imagine her getting
fucking tired like 10 minutes in will fire like damn. She is also a skilled artist. In some recent
interpretations the character can also access magical powers without fully invoking the
the Enchantress entity. Additionally she possesses several arcane items including the Knight's Witch
uh Cauldron which aids her in locating various magical creatures through the DC universe. Her
magic hat is also known to conceal various tricks and enchantments. So she has a hat? Yeah the green
hat witch hat. I was saying it. It got burned up I think during Day of Vengeance. Oh. At one point
like where he got destroyed. You have to remember the specter went on a fucking like just he killed
everything. 700 sorcerers and wizards and stuff. Of course yeah. Until Black Briar Thorin came up.
Burned him too I remember. Yeah where he came back as a sprout. Almost did the whole Groot thing
before Groot. Oh yeah the Groot little baby Groot. Yeah basically doing the same exact shit.
And it's like she appeared in obviously a couple movies too and everything but. Rific movies. Oh
I don't know what you call it a belly dance? That fucking fucking doofy ass belly dance she did.
I was so CGI'd. Yes. Because they they sped it up like like fucking times four.
She's like I'm like what the fuck are you dancing for bitch? What the fuck going on? Are you high?
So fucking weird. Like ruining the whole fucking movie to be honest.
Because like she's like trying to like be all serious but she's fucking dancing.
Yeah like but they're just her fucking stomach. I'm like what the fuck are you doing?
Oh shit. That is true. That way you go back and think about what it looked like.
Fucking carol. Fucking retarded. Oh my gosh.
All right you ready to move on to our last section? Yeah.
All righty for Reddit today the first one we've got is by vanmilly2567. Spurs and Pits. My roommate
only likes Japanese girls. He has never been a Japanese person in his life. Everything he knows
he has learned from anime. He has shown me his dating profiles on Mixer USA which I thought was
straight up delusional but since I didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation with him
and was certain he wouldn't hit I didn't bring it up. Oh damn you ain't got no he ain't got no faith
in that game. Ain't no game. He ain't ever going to hit. Ain't got no faith in that game. But recently
he actually brought a girl over who looked decent was really cute. An actual real life Japanese
girl that he kidnapped from the park. She swings by for his date and I'm trying so hard to contain
myself and want to high five him so bad. Anyhow he goes out with her and turns out she got really
weirded out by him because he kept bringing up her anime references thinking that she would get it and
reciprocate. I don't know what to say. Nani? Nani is like that. Nani? Nani? And Oni-chan? Just
fucking freaked her out. Probably the most like hick version. Oni-chan? I don't know what to say
except I knew it would happen. He's a really nice guy just that he needs to drop the Japanese girl
anime pedestal thing and be more normal. So I sit him down and I start telling him how it's super
weird to real females and how they aren't like that and how it gets out. If he gets out of this
mentally it would definitely improve his chances. He starts crying and doesn't want to talk to me
anymore. He also is moving out next week. I lost a friend and someone to help pay the rent. If I
guess something like he walks away right? He stops at the threshold of the door turns around like Nani.
I mean it's not there's not a bad thing of having a preference obviously but you can't like an
obsession though. Yeah there's there's a level of you know. Alrighty next one is by not fucking
lesbian. By a super lesbian. Exactly. An omega lesbian. Got a gold star lesbian. Oh well it's a dude sir.
So he says. So he says. I went to a water park with my residential group last week. To be exact we
were in a tropical island in Germany. Tropical island is a pretty good a pretty big indoor water
park resort. I was about to be like there you go damn it. This shit's land loss as fuck. Tropical
island is fucking Germany. Did you go you lion fuck. If you don't have a map on you you'll
definitely get lost. I left my phone in the lockers near the entrance. I walked to my locker to retrieve
my phone and went back to where my group was at. I decided I want to go to the longer way. So. The
longer way. I would want to go the longer way. So I could explore a little. Unfortunately this is where I
fucked up. I went into the Asia part of the resort. What? I guess I walked so confidently that the
employees didn't try to stop me. Well they started screaming Nazi and trying to kill him with
namorizing. They started saying Sieg Heil. What the fuck happened that even freaked out. I looked around a little and
see this older man completely naked by a volcano shaped building. Oh. I shrugged it off since I figured
it was the sauna. Here in Germany it's very common rule that you have to be naked or in a towel to
enter a sauna. So I didn't think much of it. Prudish Americans. You remember that unfinished movie.
Yeah. You gotta get butt ass naked in the sauna to seal the deal. And then I forgot
the guy's like our boner's not allowed. I kept walking around and realized that everyone there was either
naked or only in a towel. This is what happened. It's all dudes. Is this super heaven?
This is where I started to realize that I wasn't supposed to be there.
I stuck out like a sore thumb. You can only imagine that there's just these middle-aged to
old people basically unclothed and then there's just this visibly confused clothed email teenager
because he's 16. Nani? They were staring at me like I was staring and I was staring back.
Imagine being the more awkward one being fully clothed as opposed to the other way.
Yeah. I continued to walk around trying to find a way out. It took me about 15 minutes to get out
of there. I told this story to my group and they chuckled. However, the most confusing part is how
I even managed to enter because to enter that specific area you have to pay. Wow. How do you get
through? Exactly. How do you pay? I know this isn't a major fuck up but it's kind of funny and pretty
embarrassing though. It wouldn't be. Fuckin' butt ass naked everywhere and everyone's like oh
everyone's naked but me. First comment. Should I get naked? First comment and now you know that
nudist areas are always full of people that you don't want to see naked. It's true. It's always a
bunch of fat guys. Because I expect the woman to walk in at any time and they're all just waiting.
So where is she dammit? All righty next one is by motorpresentation76. Why are we fucking fancy
with the name? I don't know. First and piss. Cars aren't soundproof. No. So I began singing my
singing journey a month or two ago. I was ecstatic whenever I finally unlocked my head voice a week
ago and I've been experience experimenting with it since. I can't do it in my home because the walls
aren't soundproof and my family is asleep at night. So every now and then I'd go to the underground
shared garage and do vocal exercises in my car. Sometimes I'd experiment with high note songs too
and today was no different. Did a couple of sirens, sang two songs and then called it a good day of
practice and went upstairs. Ten minutes later I hear the most aggressive bell ringing in door knock.
Aggressive? Geez what they fucking slamming on that fucking doorbell? When I went to whenever
I went to check it out and it was two police officers waiting for someone entering the door.
I got shot three times upon opening the door. I was hella confused. I opened the door.
Hell no you deserve to get shot for that. I know. You said hella get on the ground.
God are you fucking piece of shit? I opened the door and they immediately started explaining
how someone in the complex heard what sounded like a car screaming in my car.
A car screaming? Sorry a child. A child screaming in my car.
You leave your child in your car and they go down the all the four four windows are busted open.
Immediately I put two and two together. My mom began racing because frankly speaking I am so
secretive about my singing that I don't want anyone to know. My family heard the doorbell ring and I
heard footsteps from the top floor so I calculated that I had a 15 second window to explain and remedy
the situation before shit goes sideways. The officer goes what was the sound and I go me.
I've been taking vocal lessons and the car is the only place I can practice.
He got a good laugh and his buddy and he got a good laugh with his buddy and walked away.
I slammed the door shut and gave my family half the story since I didn't come up with a lie
or couldn't come up with a lie. It's so weird but everyone said weird voices were coming from the
car. They wanted to investigate then I mentioned that I may have been going through Instagram
reels and laughing too loud in the car. I've done that before. They called me a dumb ass and that
was that. Cars are a safe space my ass. Maybe I should just save for a trip to space so I can
sing in peace. Yeah cars are not soundproof sorry.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. He's screaming at the top of his lungs. Thank God child.
You ever see you ever try to do the the weird stuff that Nicholas Cage sing yells in the first
kick ass movie. The way he reaches a specific tone screaming like to switch the kryptonite
is so high pitched that there's no way to properly replicate it without me fucking
screaming at the top of my lungs. That's how the yeah good lord. I'll show you the video one day.
I'll send you a when I'm watching kick ass ever and like he's like he says now switch to kryptonite
but he fucking screams and it's so high pitched because he's got caught on fire. Oh God. It's a
wild scene. Next one is by iced cum bubble balls. Wow. They're gonna try. He's like fuck it. Yeah.
This person puts I have enjoyed pegasms. This is a woman. What the fuck is a pegasm? Yes.
Where you are in the process of peeing and then hold it back for some time. It's a fucking kidney
stone. So this time during my day of summer break I was extra horny and decided why not have an
actual pee orgasm. This video is fucking wild. I quickly found something to get me going whilst
feeling the urge to pee. Long story short that was one of my most powerful orgasms yet and then a
few moments later I went to pee and went to bed. Okay. A few hours later I woke up with some
uh mad thirst for water. Some mad thirst. I went and guzzled a guzzle guzzle guzzle.
So you ate some goggles. Guzzle some goggles. I went and guzzled a bottle and thought nothing of it.
Shortly I began feeling abdominal cramps and slight fever but thought it was just stress. By
late afternoon my slight fever had worsened into full-blown body weakness, insatiable thirst,
and a high fever. School was about resuming the next day and I was anxious I wasn't going to make
it to school. I called my mother the next day and she refused and she rushed. I was gonna say she
refused. Refused to give a shit. She rushed over to help me visit the hospital. I carried out a
number of tests which all proved negative so the doctor said we will try one last test which came
out positive. He found I had a UTI. A UTI? Yeah bitch we honed your fucking urine in. Which I never
expected or was even mindful of and that's why you don't try to peegasm. Yeah I was honing your
fucking urine for fucking 17 hours straight or whatever the fuck you were doing girl.
Why would you even do that? Like I understand what she means like the peegasm was like
you have such an incredible piss it's almost like an orgasm. But she like fucking really did.
Shoot rampart. Yeah next one is by Kiva Rosenberg. So it's fucking piss over you have to hold on to
something like like the edge of a you know really you gotta leave it. Been holding it all day.
You put your arm like your fucking hand on the counter like god dang. This person puts I teach
a group of a HIIT class in the evenings. I'm not sure what's that. HIIT. It doesn't say what it is.
HIIT. It sounds like something we had in school. Probably like an advanced math program. Could be.
Some of the movements are as difficult or as easy as a participant chooses to make them.
So maybe dance? Maybe I don't know I'm confused. Depending on whether they genuinely push themselves
to work harder or just cruise until they uh until we do another movement. Well I was putting info
into the gym computer I saw some kind of gym thing. Okay. A gym computer before the start of
class. Greeting participates in multitasking as they walk past me. One participant 40ish woman comes
in and says hi and says she's feeling ready for class. I'm still inputting data on my screen but
remembering how uh she kind of cruised through the class earlier this week. Just matter of factly said
okay I'm glad you're ready because I'm gonna ride your ass tonight. Her face. A call from HR.
If surprise Pikachu was a human. Oh yeah the little like the oh oh oh.
And what's sadder is it took another second for me to register what I had said
because in my head I only meant I'm going to push you a little harder.
So fucking hard your ass is gonna blow out. She laughed and said well I am married as I clarified
and apologized. She was a great sport though. I uh think with I think she saw what I was genuinely
embarrassed and she initiated a casual conversation with me right after I oh sorry right before I
started the class and I didn't it did end up widen uh pushing her a little bit harder during the class.
She pushed her pushed herself harder and she thanked me and she left. So hopefully no harm no
foul. That ass took it real well. I was getting really lewd. There are cameras and microphones
in the room though so we'll see if I get an email from HR next week. Sheesh I did that once. I
said something like the worst like okay so we had these uh gallons of water and uh this one was
vinesome. Yeah. But for some reason the cap was fucking sunk in. I guess like some other blocks
that were put on top of it. Yeah. I pushed it in. So I tried to put uh push and pull it out for right.
Yeah. And like it was like I was it was a no-go. It was like five minutes right so I'm like sorry
I'm like sorry man I can't get it up for you. And I was uh oh. I didn't realize the fact.
We just fucking ignored it. Well we know you didn't get it up you know. At least for her.
She's about to be out. It's a random shit you say I swear. Next one is by Fred. I like the one time
the lady said she'd ask me if I would do her. Oh to check her out. Yeah would you do me? My what?
What? That's an option? No bitch. I don't know you. I need a parrot. I need permission slips.
She was so fucking embarrassed. I would be too. I've never heard that in a long time. I've seen
that like on uh English shows and stuff like that. Yeah that's probably what she was watching.
She's seen too many episodes of Keeping Up Appearances. I guess so.
All right this person is Fred Eric Norris. What is his real name? I know hilarious. His full name.
So early this a.m. I ran to the grocery to pick up some steak for dinner and a few other things.
Wanted something high in iron and a quick google search listed dried apricots as a good source.
I recall that apricots are yummy and fresh thyme has a great. Yummy yummy yummy.
There's a song called yummy yummy yummy. I got something in my tummy. I think it's a wholesome
song right but I was about to butcher by saying yummy yummy yummy. I got come in my tummy.
I don't know why. I don't know why. Why did we do this? Why do we loot everything in this world?
I can't nothing be pure is what my mom was telling me. Why can't nothing be pure?
I can't nothing be pure. I fucking butchered it immediately. Isn't it yummy yummy yummy. I got
love in my tummy or something like that. Yummy yummy yummy. Which I guess I could mean the same thing.
I like I because I had that thought I had to say that. Yeah. And then after I was like why must I
destroy all the things that are pure. Like I can't fucking help myself. You just fuck it up completely.
I don't even want to either. I just it just does it.
Why? Yeah it's a yummy yummy yummy. I got love in my tummy. Well I fucked that one up.
Oh now I know you got come in your tummy.
And fresh thyme has a great selection of dried fruits, nuts, and candies.
You had a nut in your stomach didn't you? So I thought this is perfect. I did like you swallow
and like it does like the girl swallows right like you got pubic hairs going down her throat.
Oh damn it why do I do this? Why can't I be pure like the beast? Pure. Pure. Pure.
Uh bought two packs. I guess I shouldn't say that because they're traumatizing life.
Yeah. Find out the best thing to say. But you're not pure.
Bought two packs hopped into the car bumping some music with the windows down great mood
and popped open the container. I'm like manny man. Which death pond means.
That was a random massage just comes on. And I ate about 15 of them bad boys.
God damn a lot of apricots. So I get home and slap some Greek yogurt and granola together.
Chowed down on a booster for the apricots and then unknowingly went nuclear and decided it
was coffee time. Oh my god you fucking must have blown a fucking Chernobyl sized shit in
this fucking bathroom. They probably had to evacuate the whole fucking neighborhood.
This is when the churning and rumbling started. Let's say that my entire day still looks like you
fool. You fool. Not even a chance of one mother fucker. Why are you dead?
All you hear in the background is no. The darkness made it like no.
Which reminds me I walked into for my job I walked into this one building right. Yeah.
And it's one of those kind of restrooms that have those automatic lights.
Have you seen those where you go and go in and lights come on automatically.
Because the market has us. Yeah. Yeah well I walked in and I heard from the bathroom. Thank God.
Shut up. They shut up. I can see my wife and my asshole. Wow. Because it's probably getting ready
to risk it all. Like was that enough wipes or not. Imagine if you didn't bring a phone or
nothing for light either. I guess he did because he's like thank Jesus. All I heard is thank God.
And I'm just washing my hands but it's like oh damn. You hear the aggressive wiping in the back.
Just like wiping as fast as he can so the light stuff go out again.
That would fucking suck. I mean I've had lights go off whenever I'm taking a piss in one but.
Not that quick huh. Yeah. Jesus. Or like it's been on and it doesn't catch you coming in. Yeah. Like
it still thinks that it's set for that certain time and it catches it at that weird time.
And then you wave your hand. If you're walking down the long hallway that shit will get the lights
shut off. That's like welcome. There is a place that does that though. Like different warehouses
and stuff. Where lights go off after a few minutes. Or as you walk they brighten back up. Or as you
walk like behind you they just go. They just start turning up. They turn around like oh God. Oh shit.
Then one of them turns on in the distance. Just one turns on some dude with a fucking hatchet.
It's like uh oh. No you look at it like it's go time motherfucker. It is go time.
Look the lights go out again. Time looking disappears.
All right this is whenever the churning and rumbling started. Let's just say my entire day
was spent in my porcelain office. And thank God I have wet wipes. Jesus. PSA if you see dry
apricots only eat three to four max. Yeah they're great for fucking constipation.
And also if you eat 15 they're great for taking every bit of shit out of your body.
All right next one is by uh Ratch Fiscus. Rage? Wackus Spunkus? It's spelled R-A-C-H which would be
rack right? R-S-C-H? R-A-R-A-S-H? R-A-R-A-S-H? R-A-R-A-S-H? And then Fiscus. Fiscus. Rosh Fiscus.
Yesterday I got a few tattoos touched up and added on a thigh tattoo. One of my tattoos and well that
would fucking hurt on the inner thigh. Oh lord I'm like. I'll tell you what I know. One of my tattoos
and actually the first tattoo I ever got is a raspberry branch. A raspberry branch on my forearm
and it really needed to be touched up so it was worked on. Fucking spade? Well damn. Over time
yeah with sun damage and stuff depending on how much sun you actually get. And worked pretty
heavy. It worked on pretty heavily and basically went all over every part of that tattoo. This
morning it was time to take off the bandages clean them and start aftercare. I got into the shower
and carefully removed all the bandages and tape washed my hair and basically took a normal shower.
I have a really good exfoliating mitt that is very abrasive. Seriously you can see the dead skin
piling up. It's that abrasive. Damn. I was very careful to avoid my tattoos on my thigh ribs and
sternum except I stopped paying attention to what I was doing by the time I got to my arms and when
straight over my forearm tattoo with it that they just had. Yeah that shit must have fucking hurt.
Just an FYI. Going over a tattoo that's not even 24 hours with exfoliating mitt is extremely painful.
It immediately started burning so I got a little extra attention with washing it and applying
ointment today. Even just applying tattoo ointment stung a bit. It also went out for uh let's see I
also went out for a while today and just walking in the sun for a minute I could feel that it was
pissed. So yeah don't exfoliate fresh tattoos or you're going to have a very bad time. Like yeah.
Yeah that uh. Ouch. The first comment is pain aside I can't imagine a mitt that has ever been
used is the opposite of sterile and is essentially pushing infection into your wound. Like somebody
would find that one. That one that's like yeah you're probably pushing your shit in here.
All righty got a couple more here. Uh next one is by vegetarian vegetable. So you had a cannibal.
Yeah in solidarity with a fellow user who also injured his most precious and tender of areas
I would like to share my own version of this. I shall start by setting the scene. I 30s was handling
my regular grooming regimen in preparation for a date a few hours later in the evening.
I wanted my boys to be spic and span. No fuzzy bush requiring my date to blunt several machetes
just to get to the goods I thought to myself.
Nice to be a nice and primped. Yes I did. Yes I'd be a pristine specimen gloriously well maintained
and worthy of my beautiful date. A cock will put on a mantle.
But my friends there was soon to be no glory beheld betwixt my thighs.
He wouldn't cut himself? No soon I would be writhing on my bathroom floor appearing before
the heavens as a weeping normal newborn babe. I hop into the shower gleefully I trim my chest hair
down masterfully evading my nipples taught from the splashing of water. Taught.
I continue swiftly down to my stomach to the trill of my chest.
I continue swiftly down to my stomach to the trail of hair extending from my pubic
pubic region. My goal was the appearance of care and maintenance not that of a prepubescent youth
so I tidied up and continued my journey downward pleased with my progress.
Like a master of his craft I shaped and sculpted the hairs of my pubis.
Every stroke of my philips electric trimmer. Jesus putting in a bit of work.
I'm cleaving beautiful paths of mowing pubic lawn. Things were shaping up nicely.
I was no stranger to these maneuvers. I'd done them countless times before.
I knew every curve every crevice. This land was my land.
All you see before you I own. I carefully navigated the inner thighs the base of my
limp shaft and glazed down my brow and gazed down proudly at my shower steamed meat cluster. This
was almost certainly some of my best work. My snake while now docile and calm would soon
arise from his majestic manicured field of light. Why are you writing like this? So fucking airy.
It's pissing me off. I stand proudly before my date. Zzzz.
Saying the trimmer as I claim the last strangles of hair. Zzzz. All I needed now was to grab my
safety razor and tackle the sack. Zzzz. But where did I put zzzz?
That didn't sound good I thought to myself. Gazing downwards I gassed. With one momentary
lack of concentration I was now gazing down at a site that can only be described as a pork
pulling meat claws clutching my sack. What do the fucking blades come into his fucking ball sack?
Yeah. Pink flesh squeezed between the trimmer blades. Their oscillation halted my tender
elastics. Yeah. Fucking. Fucking ball sack basically is what I'm trying to tell you people.
I wish he would drop that fucking weird way he's writing just be honest. Yeah he's being way too.
Yeah too fucking highfalutin. Yes. I'm still a man of letters that one cannot even compare to my.
This is what you call a midwit so. They're just smart enough. Absolute genius. For what seemed
like an entire minute I could hear nothing but the water running down my cheeks.
I mean maybe he was doing that on purpose right and then when he got like my motherfucking balls
has caught his motherfucking what the fuck. There was no pain there was no time the clippers my
the clippers by phillips had spoken. I fumbled carefully off of the for the off button but I
was a moment too late. The silence is broken. Fuck. It was the fucking art. The blades had done their
job lacerating through my flesh with the plea as they buzzed into life. The pain was immediate.
The blood pooling around my legs faster in the shower could wash it away. I dropped the trimmer
in the bathroom floor leaping out of the shower. I like to imagine I let my let out a manly bellow
but looking back it was almost certainly a shrill shriek followed by tears of panic.
Ouch. I grabbed the tail and assess the damage fluffed my bag over in the sink and cleared the
blood quickly away revealing the wound. It was deep. Those blades weren't messing around slicing
into my loose scrotal skin like a hungry chiller sack. Oh my god. I grabbed a fistful of tissue
paper and wrapped it around my bag and stuffed another few layers into my boxers. Hurryed
hurriedly clothed myself and rushed out to A&E. I'm not sure what A&E is but any of the uh the tv
show to tv channel A&E. After some laughter from oh I guess the emergency room. I was still me yeah.
Um after some laughter from the nurse that saw me I was told to perhaps keep sharp objects away
from my genitals and got patted. I was giving this face like uh oh. Uh uh. Now bitch what you
this is a hospital bitch what the frick is wrong. You be laughing in my condition. Thankfully it
would seem balls held quite quickly and although I didn't make the date I was able to rearrange to a
week later and recount the story to my now girlfriend. Oh she must have been so understanding.
And then how he ends it is even stupider. Balls well that ends well. Great pun. Or
please. Whatever they're trying to do. All right next one is by nutty donuts 14. Nutty donuts 14.
Uh yesterday I completely tidied the uh and cleaned my room. I even washed my quilt. The whole place
looks great. Today I had an amazon parcel coming by. My bank account uh curses prime day because
you know everybody spends money on prime day. It's prime day baby. My doorbell goes. Super bowl.
Fucking black friday. Yeah. And prime day or like cyber monday or like oh god dang uh
super bowl weekend. Yes they are. Uh the doorbell goes. I grab my handbag searching inside for my
keys as I go. No keys. I sprint back upstairs and search the usual places. No keys. The courier is
knocking on the door and ringing the bell again. So I leg it downstairs. Unlike the window closest
to the door and just yell I'm sorry I can't find my keys. Apparently the door is locked. Sure I don't
know why it'd be locked inside like that and need a key but aside from that. No problem hands me the
package and appear slightly bemused by the situation. It tosses up. Ha. Pretty sure I made
his day. So now I have to untidy my room and find where my keys ended up. Edit. I just looked up from
posting this. The keys are on the printer mocking me. Just sitting right there. Where are the keys
were? In her pocket. Good place. Bitch. And last one for today we have uh sammy and didali. Sammy.
Sammy didali. You don't hurt my Sammy. He's my brother Sammy. Spurs and puts. I have been
self-conscious about my overall appearance my entire life. I was always the chubby grandkid
niece even though I've uh only ever been around 125 to 135 pounds for the majority of my life.
I've had bags under my eyes since I was practically born and I've got a pair I've got a bit of a pear
shaped body. Huh that's an interesting look on my hat. Most of these things I've come to accept
and I've tried to change the things I can. Recently I had to take some photos for my new job and
noticed the peach fuzz on my face was kind of noticeable. I've always had been nervous about
dermaplaning because I have sensitive skin and also using a topical retinol for acne here and
there but for some reason I thought everyone uses nair. Why can't I? Fuckin that. Oh dear reader how
foolish I was. I did a test area around my jawline about two weeks ago despite the tiniest bit. On
your face? He has a nair on your face. Despite the tiniest bit of burning everything turned out fine
however when it was time to for me to remove the nair from my face I accidentally wiped the side
that I had applied first which I didn't have quite enough time to work its magic so I ended
up reapplying the second coat for about two to three minutes on that side. So I thought that maybe
my face just needed some extra time about three minutes of extra time to be exact. Well reddit I
applied the nair for sensitive skin might I add I even sprung for the fancy applicator one
to my face for about seven whole minutes. I thought the tingling was normal but I knew something was
wrong by minute three but I still persisted on all for the sake of having a super smooth photoshopped
looking bare face. Fucking chemical burns you gave yourself am I right? By the time I wiped it from
my face I realized my cheeks were a bit numb then we're on fire. I chalked it up to just a mild
chemical burn that should go away by morning and placed cold compresses on my cheeks before turning
in for the night. Whenever I woke up my face was a bit swollen and my cheeks felt like they were dry
itchy and almost like they were small open wounds. I had all these tiny scabs and red marks all over
my cheeks and part of my chin and unfortunately couldn't add any aloe sunscreen or even wash my
face for a full 24 hours as the product consists upon due to sensitivity. Oh I tried using toner
to smooth it but that immediate lake backfired and I washed the test swab off my face. Did I mention
I also have to file some important paperwork this morning up and down about 30 miles of highway
with a 101 North Cal Sun working without a working AC in my car? You get a fucking electric razor
for you damn girl. What the fuck were you thinking? So that was a lot of fun but I'm not looking for
sympathy and now that the aching and swelling has gone down thanks Advil. I currently have a thin
layer of diabetes dry skin gold bond on my face which already is making the scabs way smoother
and is healing. I swear by this stuff and if you have dry skin or hangnails. My boyfriend let me
know I'm still beautiful with all the scabs and I think that's what counts and I don't think I'll
be touching nair anywhere around my face for a long while. I don't think it's designed for your face.
I don't think so. The first comment you think that's bad? I tried to remove hair from my butthole so
that I might pass a bowel movement without needing to force a turn through thick hairs.
It's probably that one dude. Which one? Oh uh remember the guy that was one of the first ones
we did? Funny as fuck. What? I'm just thinking about it where he put uh nair or shaved his ass.
No and like it was like his cheeks were so fucking smooth and they created a fucking chemical uh
factory in his fucking butt cheeks. Like he sealed his butt cheeks together.
And then he spread them in someone's hand. Read them and almost fucking died from the noxious fumes.
I bet you it was that would be fucking wild if it was.
His shit must have. Oh yeah because we were fucking laughing so god dang hard for that one.
Wasn't it so bad that I had to try to read it and I couldn't get through it either? That was the one.
Let's see. I started burning trying wiping it off of the tail on the outer layer my ballsack slewed
off to. Ouch. Did I mention this is my first day of starting a new job? Anyways hope your face
stops tingling soon. The person below him okay you win. All nair competitors should use this
comments as advertising. They cause chemical burns. Jesus man shit is dangerous and the fact
that it can be allowed to give in to people that it can be button sold. Leave a comment below that
shitting through a thicket it sounds like a country rock band.
Name shitting through a thicket. Shitting through a thicket.
Let's see. What about a mass to your skin feels better some people still do that it's no big deal.
It's all like uh supportive comments after that. The one about the asshole thing is funny though.
It's like okay bro you win you win. You blew your asshole cheese out again. I guarantee you it's the
same dude that just swashed it back and forth. Jesus man just the fucking moisture of my mother's
box. It's just horrible. That's the last one I got though for tonight anything else to add before we
head out. Uh I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
What's left to say in this world? Very little apparently.
What if I one of those days when you try to articulate how you truly feel
and you just don't have the words or the capacity to communicate it. Exactly. Like your brain is
just trapped. That's what that's what writers feel like you know and they feel like this whole fucking
world in here can't be fucking let out here. Yeah. Because they can't effectively communicate what
they feel. Pretty much. They're in a fucking madness. I gotta go try to be David Dunn and
try to save the world in my fucking green poncho.
Alright well with that we will see you guys on the next one.