Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown
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Let's go ahead and get started.
All right.
So we got season two, first five episodes of The Wives Kid You Know.
Now I don't know how to explain this properly because season two, they had moved from where
they were before, which I think was Vice, back when Vice had their own little network,
I think.
Yeah.
And they were there for a season.
And for whatever reason, they moved to IFC is what I remember.
Like somewhere they were explaining it on some document, like a little like in between,
like they were like promoting an IMC.
They would explain stuff like little like clips and stuff, like little interviews with
throughout their like broadcasting on the channel.
And I don't know where I heard them talk about this, but they get to IFC and episode one
drops and it's like a fucking like it was like banger after banger after banger.
Like every skit in episode one of season two was like, that was when I first actually,
that was the first episode I caught.
Now because of that, that's what just led me to my love for the show when I was first
in its run.
And thinking back, now that I like more memories bubble up, I realized that I actually watched
the entire series from season one to season five on IFC when that like back then we didn't
have internet.
At least I didn't.
I wasn't as like technologically inclined.
Like click, click, click, click, click on Google.
When does this new season drop?
I just like, I just lucked out.
It was the same with South Park.
I was just, I just keep watching Comedy Central and eventually they like, oh, it's new season
in three months.
I'm like, fuck yeah.
So it was like that for IFC.
I would just watch it constantly.
You know, you had like your little TV guide on the screen and you just like, you know,
you mark your little timer.
Set me for this episode this day.
Or if you were lucky, you had the fucking DVR, you can record it.
Man, that shit was gold.
You still would record all your shows.
And the first episode drops and it is, they have an actual like, I think they had an actual
like viral video because Trevor Moore, he liked to do like comedy videos.
I don't know, comedy songs in the show.
It was like, he was the head writer of the series, of the whole series.
And he liked to do these comedy songs, like weird Alan stuff.
And he did this, it was called the, the dinosaur song, which is the first rap song about smoking
weed with dinosaurs.
I think I've actually seen that on YouTube somewhere.
Yeah.
You've heard of it?
Yeah.
Like I smoke a bowl tonight.
Yeah.
That's the one.
This is the one that probably popped out their, their name recognition higher.
I don't even know that was them.
Yeah.
I smoke a joint tonight.
That's the song.
It was really catchy.
Me on me and all these dinosaurs smoke a bowl tonight.
I'm rolling bones tonight.
I'm rolling bones.
It just like, just goes on and on.
And like, that was like, that was episode one, season two, like whatever, like they
put everything in season, season or episode one, like every good, like it just, everyone
was a banger.
There was not a single skit that I didn't like.
And I was like, I had, that's why I had so much trouble.
I almost want to do all of them for just episode one of season two, cause they were all so
good.
So I guess I narrowed it down to like the, like not the funniest, but to me, like the,
the most interesting cause it's just a Trevor Moore's expressions in the whole skit.
So basically in episode one, season two, uh, Trevor Moore is playing opposite a woman.
Like if they had an actual woman, not one of the, one of the other guys dressed up as
a woman, which is like a consistent thing in the series.
And uh, they're, they're in, it's on their first date, uh, they're talking and they're
trying to get them to know more about each other.
So she's, Trevor asked her to go first and she started saying all this random stuff,
right?
Just like, oh, she's a strong independent woman.
She doesn't like to play games, all this and that.
She said like, uh, I don't use tampons, I air dry.
And that face you made was the same face that Trevor, it caught him.
He was suddenly shocked, not outward, like he had this subtle, like where you use like
gears for turning in his head, like, what the fuck did she say?
And for the rest of the skit, right?
It keeps cutting.
She keeps talking, right?
Cause to her talking normal cause back him like, and he's just like looking around like
he's looking at her, but like his face, his smile is completely gone.
And he's like, he's like trying to process.
What the fuck?
Yeah, she air dries.
She doesn't use tampon.
And that was not even like the funniest one, like the off the bat, the first skit of the
new episode of the season, uh, Sam is, or Trevor's waiting for Sam, uh, to get out of,
to come out of the house and meet him up on the side of the street, right?
Sam gets there and his fucking nuts are hanging out of his fucking tee, out of his jeans.
And he's like, oh, it must be these weird jeans.
Like he's like, what the fuck do the jeans have to do?
It's like, I don't know, my balls.
And like it was IFC.
So back then they were really, they were uncensored.
It was just like a pair of balls just hanging out completely uncensored.
Oh man, I missed that show.
There's no real way to get it back though with Trevor being dead.
You know, it's only four of them now.
So without Trevor, it's like, he was like the actual, like, I feel like he was the main
fiber glue that held it together.
Yeah.
Like he was the thick, though.
And like without him, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be like, I'm sure it'd be great, but not like
the level that it was.
So we go to episode two, season two, and you can tell how dumb I am by the simplest thing,
bring me joy.
It's just Sam walking down the street, right?
Like he's walking, like the camera's on, I'm assuming it's on a trolley going back and
he's following the camera, but you know, you're not supposed to acknowledge the camera.
So he's just walking down the park, having a good old day.
And you see Darren running fucking full hilt behind him, gets up right next to him and
punches him right in the fucking stomach as hard as he can.
He's like, what the fuck did you do that for?
And Darren just like, you can see me?
And he fucking books it.
That was the whole skit.
That's it.
He just fucking punched him in the stomach and ran.
I don't know why I found that so, just so delightful.
Plus you can tell that Sam put on a thicker jacket so he can take an actual punch to the
stomach.
They probably put some cushioning there, it's cause he fucking socked him in the fucking
stomach.
Oh man.
Okay, so season two, episode three, we meet, this is one of the recurring characters actually.
I think she had another skit, maybe two more.
I think I just won more called Weird the Stripper and it's Darren.
Darren and like, he had like the fake boobs on too.
So he's like, imagine just Darren in like a booze and like a fucking wig and it's still
Darren.
So it's Timmy, Zach and Trevor and they're going to, it's Timmy's birthday and they go
into a strip club for his birthday and they settle in in this little spot to sit down.
Trevor sits down, Zach and Timmy sit down and Zach and Timmy get up to go get Timmy
some drinks at the bar and the stripper that was there for a second on the pole, she leaves
and then Darren comes in and her stripper name is Weird the Stripper and it starts off
normally right?
So Trevor's like, so what would you do for a dollar?
And then she'll take her top off for a dollar.
What do you do for two dollars?
She'll point her butt at the person who gave her the two dollars.
For five dollars, she'll point her butt and slap it.
So she'll point her butt at the person and slap it.
For ten dollars, she'll play with her boobs, lick her boobs and spit on her coochie or
her cooter as she said I think.
For twenty dollars, she'll give you a lap dance and then it fucking falls off the rails
from there.
For a hundred dollars, she'll take you to the VIP room in the back, slip into some lingerie
and then she'll staple her hands shut with a staple gun.
And so Trevor's like, what the fuck did you say?
And she's like, that's right.
He said, why would you do that?
Like, you gave me a hundred dollars.
Like, wait, wait, wait.
So he realized that whatever money she gets, she does something.
So he's like, okay, so what would you do for seventy five dollars?
And she said, for seventy five dollars, she'll eat a whole fish.
Bones, skin, everything.
She's Weird the Stripper.
So then Trevor calls over Zach and Timmy for this weird thing.
So they started talking to her.
So he's like, what do you do for seven dollars?
And she'll drink a whole gallon of milk through her asshole.
For seventy five cents, she'll eat it.
So she'll eat the seventy five cents.
For three hundred and four dollars, she'll write you a speech on any subject you want.
For four dollars and thirty six cents, she'll go to the store with you.
For four dollars and thirty seven cents, she'll paint you a picture of a dolphin.
For four dollars and thirty eight cents, she'll give you a blowjob.
And Trevor's like, there's that one.
So you get a BJ for four thirty eight.
For a million dollars, she just says hamburgers.
So I don't know what it is about.
She doesn't tell you what it is, but she's like, hamburgers.
So then they leave.
The skits over.
But I know there's going to be one more like in the later season.
So with that, because that was one of the ones that actually caught.
I was just random.
It's fucking hilarious.
Wish it would have been more like fucking like number stuff.
Like for eight dollars and seventy two cents.
What do you do?
It's like I'll fist fight a donkey.
Just the most random shit.
Just the fact that she has nothing.
She has things for every fucking price range, you know.
It's wild.
And some of it's affordable.
Yeah, the blow job's only four thirty eight.
I have a bonus one for episode three.
So Timmy, so Trevor, Zach.
So Trevor's playing the dad.
And by the way, in season two, they had more budget, so they actually dressed up more like
an actual like different character than just themselves.
That's just a cheap way.
Yeah.
And so Trevor's the dad.
And by the way, Zach always fucking goes full out to whatever he's fucking doing.
If he's playing a director, if he's playing a woman, a drama teacher, whatever he's doing,
he's that character.
Like he just he just like melds into that character and he's like Zach's gone and that
character is a real person.
So he's he's the the wife and they're getting ready for a dinner party with their guests.
And Timmy is the son.
And Timmy is easy.
He just he just sat on his knees.
He just sat on his knees to look shorter because the camera angle has angled down for Timmy
and angled up for the parents because we're looking up at them as the kid and we're looking
down at Timmy as the child.
I guess I'm learning more cinematography lately.
Yeah.
And so Timmy's excited like, hey, how about you put this painting up on your on your fridge
for the for the party?
And it's it's clearly a dick.
It's balls, wide balls and a big dick with the head.
Right.
And he says it's an elephant, but it's clearly a cock clearly a cock and balls with like
an eye, one little eyeball that he put for the eye.
And at first they're like they're confused as to what it is until he tells them it's
because they see clearly to see a dick, you see a dick, so they're like, what is it?
Like, oh, it's an elephant.
So they're like, OK, they try to convince him not to leave it on the fridge, but I guess
he guilts him into it.
So he's like, all right.
So Trevor's like, OK, here's what we'll do.
You write elephant on there in big letters because if they if the if the not the customers,
but if the other guests see it, they're going to clearly know the thing.
It's the first stop to be a dick and balls.
So if you raise elephant, they'll think it's an elephant.
So he's like, right.
He writes elephant.
So he's like, backwards, like the backwards E. I don't know how he did it because there
was nothing on the paper and they wrote it.
So he wrote that real quick.
If he actually wrote elephant backwards, like a child would all messed up.
So he puts it up on the fridge and then he's like, OK, can I also wrote I also drew a fairy
castle for the elephant.
Can I put it up there on the wall, too?
And they're sure they're like, all right, go ahead.
And he pulls out this fucking picture and it's just a butt ass naked woman spreading
her fucking club vagina cheeks, right.
Her vagina lips.
And big blonde hair, titties, right.
He's like, ha.
And they're like, the parents trumped this.
Like, OK, so from what I get from the skit, Timmy is apparently a bad kid and they know
that.
So every time I deal with him, they think he's up to something.
So when he drew the dick, they're like, oh, it's going to be doing something stupid.
Like, he said it was an elephant, right?
Because when he showed the woman, the butt naked woman and said it was the elephant's
fairy castle, he's like, we don't got time for your shit right now.
Go to your fucking room.
Because they immediately like, they knew.
Yeah, like they immediately knew he was up to no good like usual.
Like, we got a dinner party to go to.
You need to go up to your room right now.
We don't have time for your shit right now, Timmy.
Like when they had that line, we don't have time for your shit.
That told me like that's like years and years of dealing with it and was seen that you can
just understand.
Yeah.
Like they deal with him constantly and they thought he was doing something actually sincere
and they were fucking wrong.
Because if you see the woman's face, it's just a naked woman.
Then it just says fairy castle.
But it's where the elephant's supposed to go.
It was such a weird thing.
I mean, he wasn't lying.
No, he wasn't lying, but it wasn't a fairy castle.
That's what she calls it.
All right.
So in episode four, we have something called Forever Puppies and they're doing this PSA,
this commercial for this company called Forever Puppies that don't you hate it when your puppy
gets older and starts being so cute and adorable that we got the solution for you.
Bring your dog into a Forever Puppies and we'll replace your dog with a Forever Puppy.
So basically they keep their puppies forever young and like they're clearly killing these
dogs in the back.
You can hear a dog whine then a gunshot.
And so Timmy's like, they have these customer testimonials about how good the company is,
Forever Puppies.
Timmy's like, yeah, now that I have Forever Puppies, my dog stays young forever and I
'm knee deep.
And he just cuts off, right?
Timmy just standing looking dead at the camera.
He says like, I'm knee deep.
And pussy.
Because apparently he had a puppy for like, the puppy always got him laid with the women,
right?
And when he got older, it wasn't the same anymore.
But now with Forever Puppies, I'm knee deep.
It's so random.
All right, last one is episode five of season two.
And it's not so much funny as fucking just out there.
So basically it's Sam and Trevor and they're in line and they're wearing robes.
They got these candles.
They're clearly in a cult.
And Trevor's like, hey, I think he called him Rick in the skit.
Sam's called Rick.
Hey, Rick.
Rick.
So yeah, have you been noticing how weird this group's been getting?
Like they used to like, at first it was matching shirts.
And then they ended up with like, Uzi training with guns and like then the robes and the
candle and then they had to live on the compound and like cut off all communication with friends
and family.
And like, we don't even play softball anymore, do we?
Like, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
And like, so in between the talking of how weird this group that they joined has gotten,
they do these random things.
Like first they stop at this other person standing in line and it's just a kind of alien
mask.
She's holding, I'm assuming it's a woman.
I don't know why I assume it's a woman, but she's holding a glass.
This glass, it looks like a piece of broken glass in one hand.
Trevor kisses her on the cheek, grabs the blade and then cuts her other left hand that's
hanging and then pulled that like palm out and then he moves on.
And then Sam does the same thing.
So then they keep moving.
Zach pops up wearing a baseball helmet, red paint with a black line down the middle.
He's like, I hear an alien's coming.
And then Trevor and Sam are supposed to say like, hope he's a nice guy.
They hope he's got an army.
I hope we don't die.
And then he just walks off and they're saying like, yeah, like the stuff like that is getting
a little weird, don't you think?
And they're just like, they're just saying how weird this group is.
It's clearly a cult, like dead, like a dead ringer for a cult.
And but they're like playing it off as being like two normal guys, not too wrapped up in
this organization to leave.
And they said the reason it's gotten so weird is because Bill became the new head prophet.
And they get to the end of the line and Timmy's like, now to talk to the head prophet.
And he pulls back the curtain.
It's just a goat in a top hat.
He's the head prophet of this cult.
It's such a surreal life.
It's some of the more surreal skits.
Like another surreal one was season two, episode two, where Sam had this fucking string stuck
in his teeth and he pulls out the string and Darren's his date.
He's dressed up as a woman and he's pulling on the string and he pulls out one of his
lungs and like for like fucking eight minutes, like no, like three, four minutes, he's pulling
the string and he's pulling out his heart, his brain, his lungs, his kidney, right?
And he pulls out his soul and he just fucking dies.
It was such a random scene.
So that's it for the first five episodes of season two.
Tune in next week for season two, episode six through 10.
I got a hair in my mouth.
So you're talking about the string and I got a hair.
Yeah.
I was the spy what drew me to it.
Yeah.
There it is.
Yes.
I like hairy women though.
So go figure.
Yeah.
You got to part the seat.
Part that fucking forest.
All right.
Well, we got a couple of things again this week.
I guess I'll be calling this segment a character spotlight.
Oh yeah.
So got two different characters this week.
First one that we're going to have is Catman.
I'm itchy.
Hi Catman.
We weren't expecting that one.
All right.
So Catman is from DC Comics.
His real name in the comic books is Thomas Blake.
Thomas Blake's a bad ass name for such a horrific character.
He's got relatives, Reese Blake's mother is Sienna Blake and he's got a son, Thomas Blake
Jr.
Thomas Blake Jr.
And he's got a son instead of Bruce Wayne.
I don't want to be Dick you dad.
I don't want to be Catman.
He's been associated with The Secret Six, The Misfits and Suicide Squad.
His base of operations have been Africa and Gotham City.
He's aligned technically now as neutral.
So he's not evil or good.
He's one of those bad guys that's not really a bad guy.
Just like a kind of like a criminal.
Yeah.
But not really a bad guy.
He's almost like a Catwoman style criminal.
He's a thief.
Yeah.
So he just stepped out and retired.
He's almost opened up a bar.
His identity is still secret from everybody.
So people haven't figured out who he is yet.
Right.
Not Batman though.
American citizenship even though he's got a base in Africa.
He's single.
So his marriage status is single.
Right.
He's a bingo.
He's six foot.
This is like a tender profile that you've been giving us.
Six foot tall, 179 pounds.
So decent tall.
Blue hair and blonde, oh god I can't even talk.
Blue hair.
He didn't die.
Might as well.
Yeah.
Blue eyes and blonde hair instead of Bruce Wayne black hair, blue eyes.
Catman first appeared in Detective Comics number 311.
God dang.
In January 1963.
Wait, 311?
1963?
Batman came out in 1939, right?
Detective Comics, yeah.
Detective Comics?
Yeah.
311.
12 issues a year.
They must have been pumping him out in a serial of a weekly type thing.
Well Detective Comics is the one that Batman first came up in.
Right, right.
In the 1930s.
But I'm saying number 311 would be really high up there for only being 30 years.
Right.
No.
Let's say if it's 12 issues a season or 12 issues a year.
Isn't it bimonthly?
That would be even longer then.
Are you saying that that number is not high enough?
Too high is what I'm saying.
It seems real high to me.
30 times 12 is what?
That's just funny.
Don't know if you can give me the answer.
Is it 312?
It's about that, yeah.
Okay, so I was wrong.
So yeah.
It seems like a lot for like being so like, but then again.
Well think about it.
30 times 10 is 300.
Oh yeah.
So that's just about right.
Yeah I guess that's true.
So what does that mean?
That's like an unbroken chain of monthly issues.
That's beautiful.
So we hit the new 52 and then it broke it all.
He was created by Bill Finger and Jim Mooney.
So the same guy that created Batman was also the one that created Catman.
Trying to make the same type of a, well they didn't do too well.
They didn't come around.
And then a different Catman once opposed to Blackhawks and Blackhawks number 141.
But he has no connection with the more prominent Batman.
I imagine like the guy that created, they just like, they take a lot of coke right?
Like in the editor's office?
Okay here's the thing.
So you know we got Batman right?
And that was a huge hit.
Now think about this character.
His name is, listen here, Catman.
He's just like get the fuck out of my office.
Alright so in the character's biography during pre-crisis, so this is before Final Crisis
and all the big revamps of DC Comics anyway.
So Catman was Thomas Reese Blake, a world famous trapper of Jungle Cats who turned to his
crimes because he had grown bored with hunting and had squandered most of his millions.
See I'm broke.
So I'm not going to go to crime.
You know what happens nowadays when you go broke after certain ventures?
You go straight to porn.
You go straight to OnlyFans.
Yeah like mine as well.
He became a buzzard.
I thought it was going to be my last op shit.
It's always there so I don't have to worry.
I'll be a OnlyFans before I go homeless.
Yeah, might as well.
Yeah like if I'm going to be homeless I might as well start eating some ass.
Make some money.
Doing the next two girls one cup.
One man, one drive.
So he became a burglar who committed his crimes in a cat suit made out of an African.
I might not be the greatest detective in the world right?
But if I heard on, I'm assuming it would be a huge news story in Gotham City that the
famous cat catcher, Thomas Blake, is suddenly retired to Gotham right?
And then like two weeks later there's a man dressed up as a cat.
Rob's like huh, I'd be putting two and two together real fucking quick.
And his cat suit was made out of an ancient African cloth.
Gee.
I find that, like you get that cloth right like in the crime scene and you have it taken
back to the analysis, only can be found in Africa.
We hear Thomas was in Africa for a long time.
And his costume he says was modeled after Catwoman's disguise.
Jesus.
Catwoman, not too pleased to have a modus operandi copy.
Which resulted in Selina Kyle being roughly wrongly implicated for Catman's crimes at
least once.
How the fuck would they, what's she like five foot seven?
How would they confuse a man's shape to a woman's shape?
He's like six feet.
That's a man.
And because of this she initially held Batman against him.
Was that when it first started huh?
Yeah.
Maybe we should be thanking him then.
It's like thank you I got that pussy.
I got that purr-sy.
Thanks to you.
Like that old Catwoman from the 1960s.
Well they used to do that all the time.
As with many Batman villains in their first appearances, Catman was originally a gimmicked
villain who stole items along a cat theme.
Such as car statues.
He leaves fucking hair balls just spit up on the fucking car.
Cat's eyes, emeralds, etc.
His weapon of choice was a pair of steel claw tip gloves with a razor's edged cataract.
That's actually a good fucking attack.
A cataract.
He just fucking slid like his claws like claws.
You're like, hey, hey, shit.
Cat's already can hurt like a motherfucker.
Yeah his motherfucker's not a fight.
The Catman would reappear once more this time revealing that the orange African cloth in
his uniform gave him nine lives.
What?
Why do they all gotta make it weird?
The character first shows his capacity for good causes whenever he rescues Batwoman from
nearly dying.
He gives her some of his costume fabric believing she too will have nine lives because of that.
He resumes his criminalistic ways but Batwoman temporarily infiltrating his trust to be his
new partner with a new costume as Catwoman.
But instead of like Catwoman lets one word, Cat-dash-woman.
Oh God.
I hear you saying my name and I don't hear the hyphen in there.
Make you feel it.
You know Selena Kyle wouldn't too happy about that.
But Batwoman reasons the entire cloth has only nine lives in it not individual pieces.
So it has to have the entire cloth.
Damn.
To get the nine lives.
And she fucking tested it out and ends up dead.
And manipulates events until Catman only has one life remaining.
What is she just fucking shooting him?
Throwing him in front of a fucking car?
Catman attempts to convince him to turn himself in but Catman attempts to kill her so he can
escape before being defeated by Batman and Robin.
Suck it Batwoman you can't even do it.
Then we have Outkast comic or the Outkast the Batman series that they have for him.
So in 1992 Catman appeared in Batman Shadow of the Bat as a member of a team called the
Misfits led by Killer Moth.
The Misfits were portrayed as third rate villains trying to prove themselves for shadowing Brad
Meltzer's treatment of the character in Green Arrow.
Catman reappeared in 1995 crossovered between Shadow of the Bat and Catwoman.
In this story the cloth that Catman's costume was made from was retconned as belonging to
a South Sea cat cult instead of an African tribe.
South Sea cat cult?
Yes.
Great choice cat cult.
Cat cult.
He loves saying that word.
It's part of the cat cult.
It's a good old cat cult.
Catwoman was hired by the cult to return the cloth but gave them a fake.
The cat cult caught Catwoman to catch Catman?
We're going to have a sister of the cat cult caught Catwoman to catch Catman.
We'll see.
Montier Mala.
Montier.
Sends a rat a warp to abduct Blake.
The implication being that Catman had met a rather grisly end as Mala's dinner.
The situation is alluded to by Blake.
Don't they fucking hate him?
When he joins the Secret Six.
So then we go into the Secret Six which is the next series that he was a part of.
So he went from 1995 to 2005.
God damn he must have been real retired.
In the 2005 mini series Villains United, which I do remember that series pretty well.
Catman resurfaced in Africa where he attempted to re-salvage his life and began living with
a pride of lions.
Good idea.
He just starts.
We live with a bunch of lions.
He doesn't fucking hate me.
He used this time to lose weight and regained his sense of self-worth and finding skills.
Oh the out of shit.
What was the out of?
He got fat?
305 pounds?
This perfect existence as he would call it would be shattered by the arrival of the Secret
Society of Super-Villains.
Pray Joyce.
So we get some financial service.
I guess.
But, however, seeking to unite all of Earth's super-villains under his control, Lex Luthor,
sought to recruit Catman into the fold as a minion, only to be rejected.
It was initially believed that an angry Lex Luthor had death-stroke killed the lions Catman
had been living with in retaliation for being rejected by a nobody as he would call him.
But this was later revealed to be a misdirection.
So he didn't really...
So he killed the lions.
I don't remember who.
Thanks for the question.
Damn.
You want to know what happened to Simba?
Kinda.
Scar took over.
That's what happened.
Catman vowed revenge against Luthor and was subsequently recruited into a criminal syndicate
known as the Secret Six.
Together the Secret Six waged war against the Secret Society of Super-Villains under
the direction of an individual known only as Mockingbird.
During that time, he found out that it was in fact fellow Secret Six member Deadshot
who had killed his lions.
That motherfucker.
So that he would join the organization.
God dang it, Will Smith.
Deadshot would later apologize and...
Catman, I was going to say Batman.
Catman forgave him.
I wouldn't forgive that motherfucker.
Although the two were reluctant allies at first, the two soon bonded and became what
one would call loosely close friends.
He killed my whole family.
Must be bros.
Thanks for saving me, bro.
I was stuck in that pride of lions for a long time and they wouldn't let me leave.
You know that Will Smith added his slap to Chris Rock in the new Bad Boys movie?
Really?
They reference it.
Or they have like an homage to it.
I don't know if he slapped some random comedian or something, but they paid tribute to it
or something.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, Chris Ross, that's fucked up.
That's exactly what he said.
That's fucked up.
But then he did go hard on Jay.
Did he slap the shit out of him?
I want to see the movie just to see how it's referenced at all.
Yeah.
He just walks up to somebody and slaps the shit out of him?
I could say that.
Keep my wife's name at your fucking mouth!
That's what I think, that's how I see it in my head.
Like, he says, keep your wife's name at your fucking mouth.
He keeps his wife's name at my fucking mouth every time you see it.
And he's just fucking bawling.
He keeps my wife's name at my fucking mouth.
Which his tears just running down his face.
Fucking snot.
Alright, under Villains United writer Gail Simone, Catman has achieved a new level of
fame.
Portrayed as a cunning warrior with a sense of honor, the character is now a potent antihero.
He is depicted with physical abilities that allow him to fight Malaw to a standstill and
to blind Captain Nazi.
So he's Black Panther, basically.
He's White Panther.
He's the White Panther.
He is different from most other Batman villains in the sense that he has a noble and heroic
quality to him.
While Cheshire notes that Blake behaves more like a hero than a villain, he sees heroes
such as the Justice League as being arrogant and abusive of their power.
As seen whenever he confronts Green Arrow about the Dr. Light incident.
So you remember that Dr. Light incident.
Trying to forget.
It gets brought up so many times.
Yeah, god dang.
I consistently like a web and reference story.
It has been revealed that during his time with the Six, he impregnated Cheshire and
the two of them now have a son, Thomas Jr.
So fucking it was written so he impregnated her.
It was it was kind of some mechanical.
He impregnated her.
He grabbed his turkey baster and he impregnated her.
I was like something more intimate way to say it.
He met Cheshire, they got close.
They were intimate, a little bit more classy and then like they had a shot.
He impregnated her.
But that filthy.
Like the guy like the guy's bad.
He loves Cheshire.
The guy that wrote the fucking little thing.
He's like bitch of darlin mother fuck.
In Birds of Prey number 104, the Secret Six run into Barbara Gordon's team.
Huntress and Catwoman out of disguise dance together.
Cat sorry, Huntress and Catman not Catwoman.
I'm like yeah, I'm taking both Catwoman and Huntress dancing together.
Out of disguise dance together with hints of an attraction.
The two teams battle, six members for six.
Catman paired against Huntress amid sexual innuendo.
But the fray ends with the resurrection of Ice and not the not the Border Patrol.
Hunters comment is upon Catman's reasonings.
Knockout claimed that he had gone soft.
But he did.
Three rounds and he was done.
In Salvation run number three, Catman and the former Secret Six teammates, Gandal and
Ragdoll are depicted against are depicted amongst DC's larger villain population exiled
on a faraway planet.
Then we have Catman reappearing in the new Secret Six ongoing series which takes place
after the events of Salvation run.
Blake spends some time back in Africa where he brutally attacked a gang of poachers and
may have left them for dead.
It's kind of left up to the interpretation.
Let me see how the bodies look in the panel and I'll tell you.
His actions have led Catman to wonder if he has the temperament to be on the side of the
angels instead of the demons.
It was in his role as leader of the Secret Six that Catman faced Batman again after many
years.
Batman tried to warn Catman and his team to not accept this mission to break someone out
of the trap.
You should always use a condom honey, it disappears in a minute.
The non-personal warning did not work so Batman went to confront Catman.
Catman said in response, the old me probably would have whooped his milk and cookies.
Whooped his milk and cookies?
Yes.
What the fuck did Batman do?
I don't know.
He was just like hey Batman, he just grabs a chocolate chip cookie and breaks it in half?
Bitchy.
What do you mean?
That's what he said about beating Batman.
He's like the old me probably would have whooped his milk and cookies.
Fucked him up.
It's always would have.
It would have been on site.
He made no hesitation to throw the first punch at the Dark Knight.
During the fight, Batman even offered to pay the Secret Six off but to no avail.
Catman's main goal was to keep Batman distracted as the Secret Six broke tarantula.
Batman's called the Dark Knight and Thomas is called the ferocious feline.
Well they broke tarantula out of prison.
After the cancellation of the series in 2011, Gail Simone revealed on her Tumblr account
the actual person, the writer, and they revealed this on their own Tumblr account.
I don't know if it's still storyline fly.
I don't know why you would have to go this far but whatever.
That Catman is in fact bisexual.
Good for him.
And that she had planned to reveal this in a story arc that was cut.
She just went, we got a panel headed to him and Batman and Catwoman.
It's all fucking in a pile together.
They would have broke the internet.
To be honest, that's probably why they cancelled the series.
Because it's like that's not pertinent to the actual stories that's going on here.
During the New 52, Catman made his debut with an updated outfit in the December 2014 reboot
of the Secret Six.
In the first issue of the series, he was captured by a mysterious group and put into a strange
holding cell with a new team.
His bisexuality was confirmed in the issue whenever he was seen flirting with both a
man and a woman.
Trying to see what you're gonna...
Trying to keep his options open.
That's all it was.
So Catman and his abilities and powers anyway, Catman is an Olympic level athlete and skilled
hand to hand combatant.
Able to hold his own against some of the most proficient beings and fighters in the DC universe
including Bronze Tiger, Batman and an actual lion.
He is...
That's more like that's like in terms of like reality.
Yeah.
Like if you can take a lion, like okay, you can fight a lion.
That's some serious shit.
He is also one of the world's foremost hunters and trackers possessing an extraordinary sense
of smell and sight.
He is also a skillful observant with the accurate ability to notice and perceive different things
going on that other people don't see.
Something like me.
So just details.
Maybe if I refined it a little bit.
He wears razor tip gauntlets and uses a sharp edge catarang modeled after Batman's battering.
Let me just stole Batman and just pretended to catarang like...
Batman's like, hey, that looks like one shit.
Yeah.
It's like fucking eight of them he's found.
It's not bats or claws.
And a utility belt similar to Batman's.
The belt frequency has a smiley face button, a trophy he claimed from a misleading plot
on a mission with the secret six.
Catman has revealed several times or claimed several times both in his early appearances
and modern ones that his cape is mystical and able to restore mortal wounds.
Might take a shotgun bullet shell.
He's like, oh wait, fuck.
He was once the owner of the pet Siberian tiger named Rasputin, which was trained and
helped him commit crimes.
Rasputin has not been utilized in his modern appearances though.
He also appeared in Batman Legends of the Dark Knight, Flashpoint, King of the Cats.
King of the Cats?
Yeah.
King of the Cats.
Basically it was in the 1950s.
Okay.
So it's a long time ago.
Is that on something old?
Yeah.
He's actually appeared in a video game too.
Catman appeared in Batman Brave and the Bold, the video game.
Oh, okay.
Which is surprising.
He made a cameo in Superman Batman Public Enemies, the animated movie.
The Lego Batman movie.
He made an appearance in that.
Catman makes a non-speaking appearance in Scooby Doo and Batman, the Brave and the Bold.
And a non-speaking cameo appearance in Injustice.
Okay.
He's been around more than what you'd think.
Yeah.
Living it up.
Could be less celebrity.
Yeah.
Like he's a B-rate villain, but you know, he's not going to be ever on like the top
of Batman's list like Joker or Riddler.
He won't see him in the new Arkham game as like a main villain.
Oh, that would be...
It was me, Batman.
It was a Joker.
It was me all along.
It was Catman.
Yeah.
It was pretty serious.
What's funny is you have Catman trying to copy Batman, but then you have Owlman, which
is more powerful than me.
Because he whooped Batman's ass a couple of times.
I think the whole point wasn't Owl's supposed to be like the natural predators to bats.
Yes.
That was a whole quarter Owl's thing too.
That's why I said where does Catman fall into that?
I don't know.
Do cats eat birds?
Yeah.
They eat a bat?
I guess we'll find out.
All right.
And next in our spotlight for characters is Bobo T. Chimpanzee.
Detective Chimp?
Detective Chimp.
Affiliated with the Shadow Pack, the Croatoans, formerly Chimpanzee Investigations, and Bureau
of Amplified Animals.
Chimpanzee Investigations?
He's based out of Oskaloosa County, Florida.
Some random child.
He lives in Florida.
He's aligned with the good.
His race is chimpanzee.
He's single.
Detective is his occupation.
He stands at three foot eight inches.
Taller than me.
He weighs 76 pounds.
A little way lighter than me.
Black hair and black eyes.
Created by John Broom and Carmine Infantino.
So the Carmine Falcone.
His first appearance was Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog, number four, in August of
1952.
Damn.
Long time ago.
So Detective Chimp, Bobo T. Chimpanzee, is a superhero of hearing in American comic books
published by DC Comics, the common chimpanzee who wears a deer stalker cap.
Holla Sherlock Holmes.
Nope.
Detective Chimp has super, let's see, has superhuman level intelligence in Solskrims.
That'd be super chimpanzee level intelligence, because he's not superhuman.
Yeah.
After his initial appearance in Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog, he continued to appear
in that title as a backup feature until 1959.
Always loved that with just a little backup story to the main one.
At which point he faded into obscurity.
Several decades after his last appearance, Detective Chimp reappeared in several cameos,
namely in 1981 story, Whatever Happened to Rex the Wonder Dog?
And DC Comics Presents, number 35.
And later in a brief cameo with Sam Simon in Gorilla City during the 1985 crisis on
Infinite Earths.
So he actually appeared in that as well.
Gorilla City.
Yep.
And then he appeared in Day of Vengeance and Shadow Pact.
He did.
So quite a prominent role too.
A huge role.
Actually helped Phantom Stranger out.
When first introduced, Detective Chimp was an ordinary, though intelligent trained chimpanzee
who acted as a helping mascot for the local sheriff.
After helping him to solve the murder of his chimpanzee trainer, Fred Thorpe, he could
not speak but could understand humans and make himself understood back.
So I guess you're like sign language type stuff.
Bobo, a smoker, is a member of Mensa and had a long standing partnership with four other
detectives as the Kroatoan Society.
One of the former members of the society was the detective superhero Ralph Dibny.
A long-gated man.
He was a detective.
Yeah.
You see, all our things tie in together.
Sure does.
The Chimp's origin has been revamped and elaborated on several times since his initial
Silver Age appearances.
1989's Secret Origins Number 40 credited the experimentation of a microscopic alien
race with Bobo's intelligence.
Which is a weird concept.
The origin has since been reconned, notably in the Day of Vengeance six-part limited series.
In the latter, it was shown that Bobo was captured in Guerrilla City in 1953 by Fred
Thorpe, who sought to train him as a carnival act.
Bobo the Detective Chimp.
For the act, Detective Chimp was trained to answer some detective related questions using
a combination of signals and rewards, given the illusion that he could discover the deepest
secrets of the public.
That's the way it was called.
I think that was real life references like a horse.
Yeah.
They thought a horse could count.
Like, or do math.
Yeah.
But they realized that it was the owner would tense up at the right answer.
He'd be freaking out.
That's the answer right there.
Bobo formed a strong bond with Thorpe because Thorpe took care of him and gave him a simpler
life than in the jungle.
The success of the act lasted until a trip to Florida, at which time Rex the Wonder Dog
took him to the Fountain of Youth, where he gained the ability to speak to all living
creatures, even humans in their own language, as well as eternal youth.
Rex's and Bobo's journey to the Fountain of Youth was originally depicted in the aforementioned
DC Comics Presents Number 35 in July of 1981.
The intelligence Bobo gained put a damper on the success of the sideshow act, though,
and in one last instance, he decided that a woman was in fact a murderer as she had
murdered her sister and shared his insights with the local police.
Your honor.
It was not me.
The chimp is locked.
Tell me why.
Have you got to rest because of a chimp and the...
I was...
I was mad as fuck.
Fucking chill.
Fuck that fucking monkey.
At some point after this, Bobo was employed by the Bureau of Amplified Animals.
It is not known how he left, or even if the Bureau still exists to this point.
After the death of Fred Thorpe, he began to work by himself.
Initially, he did quite well.
As a chimp detective, it was seen as a novelty.
I paid him bananas.
I need cash, bitch.
I got bills to pay.
And during his successful period, he was visited by another detective, John Jones, who thought
Bobo's agency seemed to be doing better than his own.
Imagine being a psychic where you can read people's fucking minds and this chimp is doing
better in a business than...
Take it all my cases away from me.
You're a Martian man, Hunter.
You got to stand a chance.
Goddamn monkey.
You damn dirty ape.
However, as an ape, without civil rights and being unable to stand as a judicial person,
he could not enforce unpaid bills.
Damn, I was right.
I can pay.
When the public began to forget him, he became an alcoholic, never leaving the other dimensional
oblivion bar, which changed management twice during his time there.
That's where they actually met him.
Until the establishment was acquired by Jim Rook.
Bobo is not his real name, which he declines to share.
Phantom Stranger revealed it to be mostly an unpronounceable speech in three grunts,
which translates as Magnificent Finder of Tasty Grubs.
Unpronounceable.
Alright, then we have the Shadowpac series with him.
When the Spectre attempts to destroy all magic and begin killing wizards, Detective Chimp,
while still mostly drunk, coerces a group of mystical characters gathered from the oblivion
bar into battling the Spectre.
This leads to the formation of the group Shadowpac.
Although lacking superhuman powers, Detective Chimp exhibits not only fine detective skills,
but also the genius as a true tactician.
Benefiting from the counsel of Phantom Stranger, at the time, transformed as a mouse, he devises
a plan to use the powers of the Black Alice and Nightshade to combine the menace of Eclipso
and the Spectre.
Bobo also helps clean up the demonic damage left from the Rock of Eternity's explosion
over Gotham City.
He captures the Sin of Sloth, which has possessed his longtime friend Rex the Wonder Dog.
After the Rock has reformed, the Sin is re-imprisoned, and all magical influence cleaned out of
Gotham, the dying Dr. Fate gives Detective Chimp his helmet of fate.
After finding that it does not fit him, Detective Chimp convinces Captain Marvel to throw it
to the earth and let Fate decide.
While the helmet of Dr. Fate returns to earth, Detective Chimp, for a brief time, bonds with
it, granting him additional powers as he uses them to assist the Gotham City police and
apprehending the villain Trickster.
After struggling against the helmet's temptation, Bobo sends it on another journey again.
Later, it is shown that Bobo occasionally assists Batman, in his case, by way of chat
room, where they swap their ease.
Which is fucking hilarious.
The Riddler is also known to chat with them, but he is unaware of the other two's identities.
Imagine the Riddler just giving them all his information and shit.
He's like, I'm gonna be doing this.
I got this new heist idea guys, what do you think?
Batman's like, tell me all about it.
No, that tells you right there that Batman is like, he's like a lure in the Riddler.
Batman's like, I'm a 14 year old boy little boy.
Oh my god, that was exactly what he would probably do to catch Benifov.
Do you want to meet up later in the alley?
They just fucking get beat down by Batman.
So you're not 12, Batman?
No I was at one point though.
That's when I lost it all.
He gets so mad he just fucking breaks their back.
During the New 52, Detective Chimp had been mentioned by Ambush Bug in the Channel 52
feature sections.
He later appears as a brief cameo in aiding the Justice League United team rescuing Adam
Strange from the Zeta Beam and in the 2016 DC Comics Rebirth Christmas Special Story,
The Night We Saved Christmas.
During DC Rebirth, Detective Chimp aka Bobo has appeared in the Dark Nights Metal event
in one of those...
That was a wild fucking series by the way.
It's a hair.
It's a very like out there.
It was like their version of like the Spider-Verse thing.
It was weird.
Like their answer to the Spider-Verse being like how anyone can wear the Spider-Man mask.
Yes.
It's like the Batman metal thing where it's like there's millions of versions of Batman.
Then you have the Batman who laughs.
Crazy.
It got really weird.
Basically though, he's one of the survivors of the invasion of the Dark Nights and is
seen at the Oblivion Bar alongside the Justice League, Kendra Saunders, Dr. Fade and others.
You can't kill a monkey.
Bobo's close friend Night Master, the owner of the Oblivion Bar, is killed in this confrontation.
Bobo later takes over the bar and Night Master's mystical duties.
Then we have New Justice.
Bobo becomes a central part of the new mystical team called Justice League Dark.
This is led by Wonder Woman and includes but is not limited to John Constantine, Zatanna,
Dr. Fade, Man Bat and Swamp Thing.
Bobo loses his friend the Blue Devil to mystical pursuits.
Damn.
To mystical purists.
Then we have the Dawn of DC and the Night Terror story arc of the Dawn of DC publishing
initiative in 2023.
Detective Champ and several other members of the Justice League Dark fall victim to the
spells of Insomnia.
Being trapped in his Nightmare Realm, Remaining awake through the chaos, Zatanna and Robotman
team up to defend the unconscious Wonder Woman and Detective Champ against Insomnia's sleepless
nights and Sleeping Queen.
Hmm.
Very weird.
They've been putting that boys on the ringer.
Yes they are.
Then in the New Golden Age, Detective Champ accompanied Dr. Fade in looking for Deadman
to see if he can help them understand Hawat, who is the new guiding force of the Helmet
of Fate.
Whenever a Huntress from a possible future arrived in the present after her visit to
1940, she finds herself in the company of Dr. Fade, Detective Champ and Deadman.
Detective Champ states to Huntress that he can do some introductions over a round of
drinks where Deadman will pay for the first round.
After Huntress told her tale to them about the future and her encounter with Per Degaton,
Detective Champ and Deadman plan to take the snow globe that was in Huntress's possession
to Madam Xanadu to see if she can provide them with an idea of who this lady really
is.
Upon Madam Xanadu getting a reading from the snow globe, she informs Detective Champ and
Deadman that they have to get the snow globe back to Huntress or else Per Degaton will
kill her without it.
As Per Degaton was repelled, Detective Champ was with Madam Xanadu and Deadman whenever
they tell the Justice Society of America what Per Degaton plans to do.
And to be fair, I don't even know who the hell this is.
Yeah, Per Degaton.
It seems like Tim Timidone.
Tell them what Tim told them.
Yeah, like I've said before, I have not read this far into DC because I quit reading a
couple of years ago.
Detective Champ even mentions that Per Degaton is doing a sacrificial ritual all across the
time stream, which will make the time period being the last line of defense against him.
Detective Champ was with Madam Xanadu, Deadman and the JSA whenever they arrive at the area
where Huntress is speaking with Batman.
So apparently he does appear even this far into the series.
Powers and abilities.
He is a monkey.
That's all it says.
He is immortal because of the fountain of youth.
Should that be fun for the first 300 years and you're like, fuck.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Enhanced intellect.
It is revealed that Detective Champ is a member of Mensa.
You want to hear a weird dream I had?
Oh God.
For some reason, I went back in time from the year 2700 something and I was Wolverine.
I was stuck in this place for a year because my time machine needed to juice.
It would regenerate the energy to keep bounces through time.
I got stuck in this place.
I got a job at a DVD store.
And I'm like, fuck.
With a huge adult section for some reason.
Of course.
I don't know why.
That was personal preference.
They asked me, this man and woman that owned the store, they asked me what was still relevant
in 2700.
I was like, DVDs are still relevant and print books.
And I pulled them out of my backpack.
I look at the DVD I have, it was a fucking DVD of that movie with Jennifer Garner.
When she was 13 to 30.
Yeah.
I was like, what the fuck is my dream talking about?
So now I got to watch a movie 13 to 30 for some reason.
Over here having those weird dreams.
I have some.
I had a weird argument with Indiana Jones too.
He called me a pervert and I'm like, fuck you.
Well, I mean, he wasn't lying.
Dignified.
My dreams are fucking bonkers.
If I fucking write them down, you think I was losing my fucking mind.
When you start doing those, it's covered in the night.
I guess I could.
Yeah.
It's like my last dream.
My last dream was fucking bonkers.
Which entails that his intelligence quotient has been estimated to be higher than 98% of
the adult human population.
That's normal.
Yeah.
I thought so too.
That's not actually that much of a stretch compared to how low the level of human intelligence
is.
His abilities are, he is one of the most highly skilled investigators in the world with detective
skills rivaling those of Batman and Ralph Dibny.
So he's like his name suits him.
One that sounds like he's Batman, but the other one Ralph, does it sound like Ralph
Dibny?
Elongated Dibny.
He's a bitch.
Occultism.
So he's good at that.
He is capable of conversing with all animals regardless of origin and their own language,
including all spoken and written human languages.
Damn.
That's actually really good.
I want to see him speak Spanish.
And he knows martial arts.
Imagine getting fucked up.
Yeah, imagine like a fucking...
Imagine being like ripped apart but just by like kung fu and shit.
Like even a garage, like if he does a palm strike, he just fucking crushes the person's
skull.
So I'm just going to neutralize him when he fucking does a palm strike and punches
their nose into their fucking brain.
He's like, oh shit, I forgot.
I'm two times stronger than normal human.
Oh fuck.
He does a fucking like one of those like judo flips, right?
Filling him rips his arm off.
Like, oh shit, I'm so sorry.
Detective Champ's hyperintelligence has shown that it has downsides, however, and that he
has claimed it is difficult for him to concentrate without the help of alcohol to focus his mind.
I wonder if I did that if I could concentrate.
For a brief time, Detective Champ also had additional sense expanding powers granted
to him by the helmet of Dr. Fate.
Because perhaps of Champ's muscles are much more dense than a human's, Detective Champ
is also unable to swim.
Monkeys can swim, can't they?
Some not all.
There's some that can't.
Chimps are heavy though, like dense anyway.
Yeah, they have thick ass fucking muscles.
The other versions of Detective Champ, there's one in tangent Superman's reign.
The Earth-9 version of Detective Champ is revealed to be the screen name of a human
hacker named Guy Gardner.
So is, boy, Guy Gardner's Detective Champ in his random universe?
Yeah, because that's his screen name.
Yeah.
Then in DC 1 million and Dark Knight's metal, let's see, the far future version of Detective
Champ is one of the heroes of the gorilla galaxy and wears a costume similar to Batman's.
Yeah.
He's also appeared in TV, Batman the Brave and the Bold, and he's also appeared in Teen
Titans Go.
No, don't tarnish his legacy by going on Teen Titans Go.
No, no.
He's also appeared in Scooby Doo and Batman the Brave and the Bold.
Damn, wasn't that shit apparently.
And he's appeared in the Teen Titans movies, Go, Teen Titans Go.
Oh no.
Teen Titans movies.
Still ruin his legacy.
He also appeared in Lego Batman 3 video game, Injustice 2, and Lego DC super villains.
He's in Injustice 2?
Yeah.
I'm assuming that is a playable character.
Well, it says Detective Champ was originally said to appear as a playable character in
Injustice 2, but was cut for unknown reasons.
Motherfuckers.
I'd give it a 3 foot 9.
Imagine trying to hit that.
Yeah, it'd be a really small hit box actually.
You'd be like, damn it, I can't fucking get this motherfucker.
Yeah.
That would be an OB character.
The smaller hit box would really ruin, break the game.
It would suck.
Fuck.
It would definitely suck.
And then in our anime breakdown for this week, it has been requested multiple times and I've
tried to do my own due diligence for it, but it's called Mother of Goddesses Dormitory.
Hentai hentai.
Basically, is what it truly is.
Without the sex.
But a lot of.
Voring the.
What.
Of innuendo and.
Boobs.
There's a lot of.
If you watch high dive, it's uncensored.
So you see the book.
Say fucking less.
Hi, I'm there today.
Episode one is called The Problem with Minoru and Frey.
And then Koshi becomes a dorm mother.
So first year middle school student Koshi Nagumo is made homeless by a fire and his
father abandoning him.
Koshi is taken by in by Minoru watching who feeds him and lets him use the bath because
she realizes the bathroom contains three naked girls and fleas knocking over a fourth and
ending up with his face in her panties and then panties.
Yes.
Where he's like nudging it back and forth.
He's just.
Yeah.
Minoru explains she is she is the manager of the goddesses dormitory at Seikan woman's
university.
The girls are Kiriya, Serina and Frey plus the girl whose panties he encountered just
now.
Adna or Atena.
Minoru offers Koshi a job as dormitory mother.
Adna who fears men refuses to accept Koshi and moves out.
She grabs her hobo bag and let go to go carry it.
Not wanting that Adna to lose her home.
Koshi leaves instead finding him sleeping on the bench and realizing her selfishness.
Adna brings Koshi back but passes out after he accidentally gropes her.
Because he wakes her up like soft.
It's 2024 you guys need to stop this.
Koshi begins cleaning cleaning but discovers the dorm is locally known as the problem dorm.
Due to the girls odd behaviors.
Minoru performs scientific experiments and often produces toxic substances and gases
coming out of building.
That's why she's called Minoru.
Sounds like manure to me.
Not like that but like chemical gases.
And Frey is a cosplayer who dresses people in costumes often against their will.
Plus all the girls seem to enjoy being partially clothed or entirely naked all the time.
Koshi scolds him and pressing Minoru he has taken responsibility already.
Like I haven't been yelled at before that's good.
Episode 2 is called the problem with Kiriya and Serene.
And then Adna awakens.
Kiriya breaks the floor and falls into Koshi's room.
Having gotten excited during readings Shoujo is like martial arts type.
She asks to share Koshi's room as he resembles her brothers.
But then she tries wrestling him until he flees to her room instead.
Because she puts him in a headlock.
Kiriya is left flustered though.
Serene makes Koshi a bizarre offer to fix the floor if he becomes her servant.
Half asleep Koshi agrees and Serene kisses him.
The next morning the floor is fixed and Koshi worries over a strange dream that he had.
It's like that couldn't have been real.
It's just like my dreams.
Couldn't have been real.
No.
Adna is concerned Koshi and the girls are becoming friends too quickly.
While shopping with him Koshi praises the progress she has made with Min since they
met which she appreciates.
Then realizes Koshi made the other girls feel the same way and flees.
Only for Koshi to save her by pretending that she is his sister whenever she bumps into
two different men.
Adna surprisingly finds the idea of being his sister intensely appealing and insists
that he call her big sis.
The moment is ruined whenever her skirt falls down accidentally showing her panties again.
She panics and falls with her butt on his face.
Regardless she understands why the others already trust him and decides to help by protecting
him from the immoral behavior of the others.
Though this leads to the others wanting to be his sisters too.
What the fuck is he going to find in his ears already?
I told you it's a lot of things.
I wonder about the actual like mental state of certain type of writers.
It's a lot of...
Every writer, like their kink will always come out in the writing some way.
And you see this.
Like I've seen it a thousand times.
Quentin Tarantino loves feet.
For some reason Diomera del Toro loves having siblings in an almost romantic and sexual
relationship.
In Hellboy Golden, the Golden Army, he had those two sisters or two brothers and sisters
that were twins that had a real intimate relationship.
In fucking that one movie where Loki was in, High Peak or Peak something, he had like an
actual and sexual relationship between the brother and sister.
And the brother's wife found out about it and they ruined the whole fucking household.
Who else has their kinks?
Let me think here.
I think one writer that has a kink.
Mark Miller for some reason loves having rape.
All his comic books.
I don't know why.
Yeah.
Let me think.
I haven't read enough of this about Stephen King to know what his kinks are.
Kids.
I mean he had the orgy scene.
Yeah, but that was one book.
He was high on coke.
That might get you ready.
I don't know.
He must have woken up and been like, what the fuck?
Let's go ahead and publish it.
I still understand the editors.
Like did he do a lot of coke too?
I said let's publish this shit.
I'd be like wait a minute Stephen, let's talk about this real fucking quick.
Why is this necessary to the plot of the comedy book?
That just shows that they don't always read the entire thing.
And Stephen's like his teeth are grinding.
It's just like, you know.
And they start licking his teeth more.
I need more coke.
I wish I could write like Stephen King.
Not his actual story, but like the level of commitment he takes to writing.
That man writes like non-fucking-stop.
You have George R. R. Martin.
But this is a bitch, a bastard, a son of a whore.
Who's having trouble just finishing what he has trouble because everyone knew the fucking
plot was coming.
Everyone knows that Jon Snow is the illegitimate child of Raynor Targaryen and Ned Stark's
dead sister.
So he's the heir to the throne.
And now he's like fuck.
Well you made it too obvious.
Way too obvious.
And then they ruin season eight or whatever of Game of Thrones.
God, they fucked the entire thing up I think.
I wonder what my kinks would be in my writing.
Because writing is like your human nature coming up, bubbling up into the written word.
So it's you basically.
And what you see the world as and how you...
You can tell what this is because the kid is 12 and these are college-age women.
Like this is basically a guy who fantasized of being when he was younger.
That fantasized about older women.
Older women liking him.
So he just poured it like...but he does it too obviously.
Yes he does.
All right moving on.
Episode three.
Coochie at a loss and Coochie goes back to school.
Coochie.
Coochie?
Coochie.
I know.
Manure and Coochie.
If he's as smart as...he's just like wordplay in the fucking words.
I think he might be Coochie and Coochie.
Ain't no fucking way.
The girls compete to see who is the best big sister.
Frey dresses Coochie as a girl.
Coochie.
Manure tries to test her latest formula on him.
Sereine is too hungry to compete.
Kirya uses erotic wrestling moves on him and Adna can't be near him without getting a nosebleed.
The famous nosebleed trail.
That's the whole point.
Whenever he fell face first into her Coochie she just got a nosebleed and passed out.
Eesh.
Coochie decides...
They're all college age right?
Yes.
So they're all 18 or above.
Yes.
He's the one that's the minor.
Yes.
Okay just making sure we're at the storyline.
Yes.
Coochie decides to...this is exactly what having sisters is like.
No it's not you fucking freak.
Manure and Frey announce that they have enrolled Coochie into middle school again though.
Since I...
It's more like fist fights.
Yeah.
It's smacking the fucking standoffs which are sibling.
So on his first day of school Coochie is punished by Satuya, his friend who he hasn't seen since
his house burned down.
Satuya pretends to be mad at him but privately was worried.
I wouldn't even pretend to be mad at him.
Like just her like...
And that one thing where like she's like the...
In her mind she's like oh I feel so bad get the fuck away from me.
Oh she's not okay.
But she's like she's not trying to like be mean.
She just doesn't know how to be around guys.
She doesn't know how to...what's the word I'm looking for?
How to like gauge her emotions I guess?
Yeah.
Appropriately.
So in her mind she's like I feel so bad and then he goes to go like touch her and he's
like stop fucking touching me.
Well I wouldn't be touching you.
You were not supposed to touch her anyway without permission.
So she's heat intolerant though.
And she remembers...
She's what?
Heat intolerant?
Yes.
What does that mean?
It means that most people can't.
We're fucking boiling out here.
She remembers whenever Kushi became her friend because he would make his fingers cold with
ice before holding her hand.
After listening to his story about Goddess's dorm she insists to meet the other girls but
Kushi accidentally falls on her.
She has tempted to let...
Just leave him there to die in a ditch.
She has tempted to let something lewd happen but overheats and punishes him instead.
How does she?
His age.
Yeah.
No.
I mean like it's age appropriate for them to but not to be portrayed on an anime.
So Kushi hopes to show Satya the dorm is perfectly normal.
He's like I don't have nothing to hide.
I haven't done nothing wrong.
Because he hasn't like...
Man, Danny.
He hasn't went out of his way to do anything wrong.
Just the shit keeps happening.
Well he's fucking 12.
His mind wouldn't even comprehend what to do.
Oh he does.
Yeah his...no that's the mind of an adult thinking as a child.
Like he thinks he would think of it...that's not a 12 year old's mind at all.
Yeah.
That was never our mind either.
I was like damn if I get this fucking Pokemon I'm gonna be fucking upset.
I'm gonna play a fucking Fire Red.
So whenever they get there they encounter Frey who is cosplaying as a sexy bunny girl.
And Minoru who only is dressed in her lab coat and panties as her dorm room was in the
middle of yet another chemical explosion.
Jesus.
It's just like no bra no nothing.
Lab coat and panties.
Episode 4.
I mean she has the thing where the middle is open but both boobs are covered by the other
ends.
No they pop out.
Oh the real ones?
All right because it's like actually uncensored.
It is uncensored.
Like they don't show any of the bottom but they definitely show the top.
I kind of want to see it but sometimes I kind of don't want to see it either.
I kind of want to...
No the reason I have a 12 year old would be probably enticed by college age girls.
Yeah.
If that's a guy's fantasy then he can just do that in private.
Just keep a deep dark secret file folder in the back.
I'm sure everybody has their secret file folder written and stuff they don't show anybody.
Episode 4 is called The Childhood Friend visits the Dorm.
And Kushi goes undercover at a woman's college.
So Satya decides to judge whether the dorm is suitable.
The girls realize that Satya has a crush on Kushi.
Satya is infuriated by what Kushi considers the girls normal, lewd and dangerous behavior
but is convinced to spend the night in Adna's room.
Satya demands to know what Adna's relationship to Kushi is but before she can answer, Kushi
ends up in a nude situation with Kiriya in the bathroom.
So he goes in there to go take a shower right?
He's walking out.
Walking in?
Just dick swinging.
Yeah.
But he's 12 so he's not really swinging at all.
No it's an elephant pitcher that's put over.
Like Timmy?
Yeah.
Yes.
What do you know?
It's a very good combination of the two things that we've talked about today.
But he's walking out and she's walking in and he just bumps into her with her boobs.
His fucking dick just slaps her in the face.
No she falls down and then he is somehow straddling her.
Just about you know.
So Adna and Kiriya begin.
I need some psychologies.
Like I understand that you probably didn't get a lot of relationships growing up.
You just gotta let that go man.
Don't internalize it into a fantasy series.
Like I said this is not generally my style of anime but I was asked to cover this.
What?
Multiple times.
Multiple times?
Yeah in our comment section.
Oh.
Yep.
Let's go ahead and shout out the one that asked for it.
Let's not do that Timmy.
You know what I mean?
It's not me he asked for it.
Your order he asked for it.
Independence Reno.
He's the one that asked for Dragonar Academy and a couple of the other ones too that all
have the same setups.
You gotta let go of the past my friends.
Stop fantasy out of being 12 and hook it up with college girls.
Just move on man.
When they forget their lunches Frey forces Kushi to deliver their lunches to them.
Since men are banned from the women's campuses Frey forces Kushi to cross dress as a girl.
Why is that always the fucking option?
Why isn't that just a fucking day pass for a male?
What the fuck do you mean the only solution is to cross dress as a female?
Whenever he is exposed anyway Adina saves him.
Kushi notices that Adina doesn't get a nosebleed whenever he is cross dressing.
They find Kirya but is forced to change whenever they accidentally get wet.
Because a bucket of water falls off of the building.
Oh well is that a nowhere?
Adina borrows one of Kirya's shirts but due to her large breasts and short shirt rips
exposing her breasts to Kushi and finally giving her a nosebleed again.
Why do you want to give her a nosebleed?
Her taste fell out.
Because the dude staring at her she's like.
Returning home Adina announces that all they need is a vacation together and Sotia is invited
as well.
In episode 5 Sirene the shut in and the goddess's dormitory goes on vacation.
So in this episode Sirene is uneasy about vacationing away from the moon the source
of her power.
Like it's a weird like she's an otaku where she.
Oh.
There are not actual mystical abilities in this shit Sirene okay.
It's her being fucking weird.
Everyone decides to create a portable sage zone filled with moon items for her.
Minoru provides a costume from a moon themed anime which is rejected because it's like
Sailor Moon.
Sort of looks like this is moon themed.
Fucking yeah Sailor Moon.
Minoru provides moon themed.
I never think of a Sailor Moon was fucked up too.
I know.
Because they would like when they were transformed they'd be butt naked for a split second.
Yeah.
Weren't they high school girls too?
Yeah.
Yeah oh man what the fuck.
You never thought about these things did you?
Oh my god we were we were so blind to the.
Over to you.
We were so blind to the brightness on a constant basis.
Remember Ash and Misty.
No wonder we're so fucking uh gooned out in our brains.
We just think it's normal.
Yeah but we handled it very well compared to Gen Z.
Fuck.
Minoru provides moon themed aphrodisiac but accidentally uses it on Frey instead.
Kirya tries to teach Sirene moon themed Tai Chi but Sirene becomes too tired to do it.
Athena provides an umbrella with a moon symbol and Kushi finishes washing Sirene's jacket
which she calls her moon robe curing her uneasiness.
Sirene visits Kushi and kisses him in his sleep.
That's I guess the law.
At the hotel Athena admits she organized the vacation to apologize to Sutea.
Minoru tries to peek in on Kushi in his bath resulting in Athena being exposed naked and
giving Kushi a nosebleed.
So it reverses that time.
Wow.
Everyone sleeps in Kushi's room and various stages of nudity except for Athena who sneaks
out.
Minoru and Kushi follow her to the haunted section of the hotel.
Minoru almost has a moment with Kushi and wonders if it was caused by lust or fear of
ghosts.
Athena almost kisses Kushi despite still wanting to be his big sister but they are
caught by Minoru and Sirene.
The next morning Frey insists they finally go to the beach.
Yay.
Because apparently this whole episode, whenever Athena booked the rooms for this hotel, it
has almost the same name as the one that was on the beach so she booked the one that was
supposed to be on the beach but it was in the mountains so it's completely the wrong
place.
So they're in the mountains?
Yes with hot springs instead of beside the beach.
There's always a hot springs episode.
And there's always a beach episode.
Which is what we go to.
So I guess you get off all the tropes.
So it's a beach episode.
So in this episode, at the beach, Kushi remains confused about Athena.
A fish gets stuck in Sotiya's swimsuit causing her to struggle to swim.
Kushi rushes to save her but remembering he can't swim since Curia instead.
Sotiya is glad Kushi was worried about her but Kushi sees Athena being harassed by Min
so he pulls her away revealing that Athena no longer gets nosebleeds around Kushi as
he makes her feel safe so she doesn't look at him as like a perv at this point.
Sotiya apologizes to Curia and Athena admitting she was jealous they helped Kushi after losing
his home while she couldn't and is convinced Athena has only sisterly feelings for Kushi.
Kushi begins acting strangely.
Frey decides cosplay will get him to talk and drags her sorry talk and drags him to
her favorite cosplay studio.
Frey dresses herself and Kushi as characters from an anime.
Tricking Kushi into answering honestly Frey learns most of what occurred during the vacation
as confession about his current relationship with the girls clashing with his changing
emotions.
Kushi realizes that he wants to protect Athena but is unsure if he wants to do it as a dorm
mother or a brother or as a man.
But either way he intends to do it with more confidence from now on.
He also learns from Frey that she will stop running from her past and someday try to reveal
her true blunt self to the goddess' dormitory.
Episode 7 Kushi and Sutina attend a festival at the girls college where Minuru sells aphrodisiacs
and Sutina is saved from Minuru's lusty female victims by Serene using a highly advanced
moon laser.
Serene claims this drained her energy and requires a kiss to recharge.
She almost kisses Kushi but he thinks of Athena and stops.
Athena volunteers as a maid but struggles serving men and falls with her breast in Kushi's
face again.
These bitches trip a lot.
Magnetic apparently.
I know.
Sutina discovers she likes maid outfits at this point.
A crossdressing contest is announced with Kiriya as the judge crossdressed as a boy.
Kushi has a drink but realizes it was another aphrodisiac that will reveal his true self.
Kiriya gives him three tickets to a maze and Kushi becomes uncharacteristically excited.
In the maze, Athena and Kiriya realize Kushi is acting his age instead of his overly mature
self.
Goes back to being a little kid instead of trying to be a man.
Kushi trips in the dark and gross both the Athena and Kiriya returning to him to normal.
Manuru later reveals Kushi only drank water, meaning everything he did was his own free
will.
Which really fucked it up.
It wasn't a placebo effect.
That's all it was.
Sutina has great access as a sadist maid.
The occult research society attempt to capture Serene to study her moon powers but are stopped
by another aphrodisiac which causes them to chase after the crossdressing Kiriya and use
chaos for the entire festival.
A lot of aphrodisiacs going on around here.
Next one, Kiriya is asked to run her family dojo Christmas party.
Athena and Kushi volunteer to help.
While cleaning the showers, Kushi sees Athena naked again.
Who falls on top of him and gets a nosebleed.
Now anemic, Athena is unable to help so Kushi and Kiriya go shopping.
Kiriya thinks maybe that she and Kushi are on a date but comments from passerbys make
her think Kushi only likes Athena.
Kiriya decides to be Santa so they ask Frey to help.
Frey goes overboard taking Kiriya's measurements so Kushi flees before he can see anything
inappropriate.
She's like I'm going to measure everything.
Just for a cost.
Serene is bribed with food to replace Athena.
The dojo's younger students assist Kushi and Serene help practice karate but Kushi is forced
to step in when Serene's outfit falls open.
One of the students thinks that she doesn't deserve a present because she never plays
with the others so Kushi helps her make friends.
Kiriya and Serene reveal the outfit's Frey made and Kiriya realizes hers make her panties
visible.
It comes up way too high.
She is the reindeer Serene rides on Kushi's back causing him to realize that she isn't
wearing anything under her skirt.
Kushi gives Kiriya a present so she almost kisses him until Serene interrupts.
Next episode Minoru buys a kotatsu.
The girls all tease Kushi under the table but also reminisce about using kotatsu with
their families.
Kushi asks if he and Sotiya can use it while doing homework.
Disappointing at Athena.
Sotiya is hesitant but agrees as long as she doesn't overheat.
Athena goes shopping for knitting supplies.
Kushi falls asleep under the kotatsu with his foot on Sotiya's panties.
Using some accidental stimulation which is witnessed by Athena causing Sotiya to punish
Kushi and banning him from the kotatsu indefinitely.
That's what's funny, didn't it?
Jesus.
Kushi begins spring cleaning.
Serene's door sticks so she falls from her window and lands with her butt in Kushi's
face.
And you being a butt man would probably like that.
I'm an everything man.
Just everything and everything.
I have no one type.
I like all women.
I'm all kinds.
Kushi finds outfits in Frey's room.
She forces him to cosplay in and is almost punished by Sotiya whenever she also finds
underwear.
Athena bribes their way into Serene's room with food.
Finding the door was jammed because a mountain of possessions collapsed while she tried to
find New Year's gifts she bought everyone for being their friends.
Minoru gets drunk on her gift, a bottle of super strength sake, along with Athena and
Serene so all three pass out on top of Kushi.
Athena drunkenly reveals that she is jealous of Sotiya but falls asleep before explaining
why.
Sotiya finds them in a pile together and furiously punishes Kushi.
What the hell did he do?
He's laying them down.
He's like the first one down, isn't he?
And they all fall on top of him.
And last episode of this season.
I can't remember if there's a season two or not.
Last episode is New Year's approaching so Kushi plans to make a large meal for everybody
since he's the dorm mother.
He cooks, he cleans, he does all that.
Noticing that Kushi is having a tough time enduring the cold weather, Athena begins to
name gloves as a present.
Kushi goes grocery shopping with Kiriya and to prepare a special meal for the holiday
but suddenly collapses with a fever to everyone's horror.
Sotiya visits in a panic but overheats whenever checking his temperature and passes out because
any kind of heat bothers her.
Not just Oklahoma heat but any kind of heat.
The girls attempt to nurse Kushi back to health.
It goes horribly wrong from Frey posing as a sexy nurse to Kiriya embarrassingly ruining
his clothes.
Kushi has a nightmare about his home burning down and decides to relieve his unease with
a bath only to be caught by Frey and Serenade who attempt to cure his fever by lootily massaging
him with medicinal oils.
So we almost had a normal reaction having a nightmare about a fire that ruined his life
and they immediately turned it into something weird.
Kushi then flees naked and bumps into Kiriya who hurriedly dresses him in tattered clothes
though they make it harder for Kushi to endure the cold.
Athena attempts to make rice gruel but Frey adds her own ingredients which explode leaving
her and Athena naked, raising Kushi's fever again and making him pass out again.
Realizing Kushi is dangerously sick, Athena decides to nurse him properly through the
night.
So the like normal one of the group.
While he is asleep, Athena confesses that she is glad that he is her dorm mother before
falling asleep beside him without getting a nosebleed.
12 years old I could be a dorm mother.
Well he was on the streets before all this and they gave him a job as dorm mother.
Kushi eventually recovers and is able to go shopping with everyone for ingredients for
their New Year's dinner while wearing the gloves that Athena had made for him.
So yeah it's a crazy series.
It sounds just like fan service.
More like a writers fantasies.
It is a ton of fan service.
Enjoyed by other people.
Like Athena for the entire series, she's got these two little paddles that have a little
babies face on them.
Like where she censors them throughout the show.
Usually since it's uncensored there are a bunch of boobs in the damn anime.
But she's like Mr. Simoco where she covers them up with these two paddles where people
can't see their boobs.
Like where she's constantly trying to make sure that they're not super lewd.
So she's like a meta joke?
Yeah.
Like where she's covering them up the entire time.
Oh you brought them with you to the hot springs.
Weird.
Well your choice would be meta.
But to be fair to Independence Reno this is not my style of anime but I did watch the
episodes just so that way I could at least know what I'm talking about.
Which is sad.
Because believe me I would not normally choose that.
It's not my style.
But yeah I can see you have a style though Independence Reno.
I see you have a style.
So you're a fighter with your man.
You're following in a way.
Instead of Z you're following in the anime.
Yeah probably not.
I said with anime.
The whole 12 year old fantasy thing about being younger.
I was going to be in a perv.
I didn't say what pipe perv.
The borderline bad type of perv.
Oh shit.
All righty ready for some Reddit?
Yeah.
We'll finish off with some Reddit for today.
All right.
I'm getting tired already.
Well I had to wake up early for work.
I hate morning shifts.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe I'm not late to sleep but I don't exactly sleep in time.
True.
The first one is by Massive Vast 7171.
Massive Vast?
As the person puts.
I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago because he cheated on me.
We had been dating for about three years and I can't lie it's been really hard to get over.
But my best friend has helped me through a lot.
My best friend, let's call him Jake, has been close with me for over ten years.
We go to each other for everything and nothing sexual has ever happened come close to happening
or anything like that before.
But a couple of days ago I was crying my heart out about this and he came over to my place.
Why are we playing games girl?
You know exactly what's gonna happen.
This man has been on the prowl for ten years.
He's just waiting.
He's been waiting.
Yeah.
He put our favorite show on and held me for ages.
About midway through he started to push my head down slowly before he just did.
Forgot men are animals.
I don't know what came over me but I started to suck it.
And no damn friendship is awaiting a list.
And we fucked passionately.
Anyway it got me thinking about what my ex said about Jake previously.
He's not just a friend.
He looks at you more than that.
It got me questioning if Jake's friendship was genuine or he just played a very long
game.
He played the game.
They always play the game.
That's probably why the other dude left her.
They are always playing the game.
Dudes know what other dudes are thinking.
I'm sorry.
Fucking animals.
He's been on the prowl for ten years.
He's followed you in the Serengeti until you finally got wounded.
And then pushed your head down.
Good Jesus.
Good God.
It's also bad on Jake's part for being an asshole friend.
Yeah.
Putting her in that compromising position.
Yeah.
But the other dude knew.
He knew Jake was a fucking.
He knew Jake wasn't a true friend.
He's like he just wants to fuck you.
Yeah basically.
No.
And then as soon as you break up.
Let's fuck girl.
It's like what happened girl I'll take care of you.
They cry to each other's arms for hours upon it.
Of course he's over here like just fucking.
He's just like fucking yes.
Winter winter chicken dinner.
It's like he played that long ten year game.
He played the long fucking games.
Yeah.
Unless he had multiple games going.
He had to.
A man can't survive on one game alone.
Alright.
Next one is by Made for Filth.
I have to I like that was mine actually.
Alright.
So this person puts a bunch of work colleagues went out for some drinks on Friday night.
As usual once the sauce kicked in the banter turned into not safe for work things.
The girls were starting to talk about bad sexual encounters they have had recently or
as we call them in Australia dude roots or dud roots.
Dud roots interesting.
And one of the girls stated that they may as well take care of business themselves.
That leads to the conversation on their favorite toys and one that gave me multiple orgasms.
One of the girls looked at the guys and commented that it was a shame that none of us would
ever know the good how good it was to have multiple orgasms.
No refractory period.
There was a bit of banter back on about how it was worth it to not have periods in childbirth.
And they said that it made that it made everything worth it.
One of the female colleagues pointed pointedly asked the question.
Can't some men like have multiples with butt stuff.
The others expressed disbelief.
I was many drinks deep at this point and my filter was off for a holiday.
So I interjected and I said that yes it was a real thing.
So I heard they asked if I knew a single person who could do it and I said that I could.
You can hear a pin drop.
They demanded to know the details of how and what it was like.
I didn't go into gory details but I explained briefly that with the right toy and position
it was very easy to give myself multiple prostate orgasms in the same power and style of a female.
Some were fascinated some were grossed out but then the topic changed.
Today I come into work and the vibe has changed dramatically.
The girls that were sitting near me have all moved their stuff to other desks and are now
super awkward around me.
I did some careful listening and questioned me and it turns out the girls that were there
spent a lot of time talking about it over the weekend and had concluded that it was
perverted and gross and decided that they didn't want to sit near me anymore.
You can't fucking yuck someone's young.
In our morning meeting they all sat on the opposite end of the table to myself and avoided
it.
They were fucking dirty bitches.
Well at least I got my orgasms.
That's fucked up.
Why would they fucking just single him out because he said that.
He answered when nobody asked.
So they did didn't they?
Then there's an update.
What you got fired?
So last week I was out with some colleagues.
We were all drunk.
They had talked about masturbation, toys and multiple orgasms.
One of them commented that men must be jealous.
I mean how the fuck did they learn from the previous?
Well this is a continuation.
That's what I'm saying.
They did not learn from the last time.
One of them raised a kid with anal or prostate play.
One of them demanded to know if there was a male capable of it.
I pointed out that I could.
They wanted to know how.
I gave them a basic rundown that the prostate was basically like the g-spot and with the
right stimulation could let a guy have multiples.
The following Monday I got into work and they were all sitting in new places away from me
and looked weirdly at me.
I have an update to this story.
I worked from home on Tuesday as I normally do and returned to work today.
I came into work to find that all but one of them had moved back to their normal sitting
areas.
Everything was fine as if nothing had happened.
We were all chatting like we normally do.
One of the girls said that she was going to the kitchen and offered to fill water bottles
like she always does and included me as usual.
Another girl said that she was popping to the coffee shop and offered to pick up the
orders and asked me as she normally does.
I was later sitting in the lunch room until the girls on the team came over and sat with
me as they will often do.
We were all chatting and I asked why everyone had moved their desks.
According to them they got a text from another of the girls, I'll call her Prude, to say
that she wanted to move desks for a few days because the AC was too cold where she sat
and whenever they came in Prude had already moved her stuff.
Prude generally sat next to me.
So they were trying to say why they had all moved their stuff.
It was because of this one girl.
Oh shit.
But they're going to put all the blame on that one girl.
Later in the day Prude revealed to the other girls that she didn't want to sit next to
me anymore because she thought I was disgusting due to the butt stuff.
The others told her to grow up and that the conversation was on topic whenever they were
out anyway.
So it was hypocritical to have an issue with what I did compared to what the other girls
did.
Apparently it got pretty heated because one of them pointed out that Prude had admitted
to owning several freaky dildos including a horse one and a tentacle one.
Which is pretty normal these days to be honest though.
Oh that's like the most normal shit I've heard so far in this conversation.
When Prude wouldn't let it go she said that no place thinking anyone else's shit was weird.
The other girls moved their stuff back to desks next to mine and left her there.
They told me I had nothing to worry about and didn't give a shit what I did in my own
privacy.
They admitted that they had dated guys who were into butt play as well as it's a shame
more men aren't in tune with that.
Oh thanks.
You're just trying to make yourself feel better.
They probably also really do think that he's gay at this point so it's like it's fine.
They're just fucking going to round up the ass.
They also reassured me and they made it very clear to Prude that if she spread rumors or
made an issue out of it they'd throw her under the bus.
Which they kind of already did but they actually threw her under the bus.
And then the funniest part is the comments underneath this.
Oh lord.
It's like you'll be in for you'll be the butt of some cheeky jokes for a while but I'm glad
it worked out.
And then after that it would help if there if he was also anal retentive.
No you didn't hear everything came out.
Okay.
And then below that so things that weren't too impact.
And then the first member that impacted damn near rectum.
Below that damn rectum damn near killed him.
It's just making fun of literally everything that he just said there.
Alrighty next one is by Zack Zup attack.
This person fits.
So I was at the mall with my son who's a toddler.
Anyway my son was playing really well with this little girl.
Like they have like they were two peas in a pod playing together just having a blast.
I'm a big dude.
A lot of people say I look scared like a scary type.
I'm a scary kid.
Yeah.
Anyway my son is playing.
I'm eating my lunch.
He didn't lunch.
Let's just make it funnier.
And I said I need to figure out who this girl's parents are.
I figure it out.
She's apparently a hot mom.
So I'll walk up and go hey our kids are having fun playing together maybe I can get your
number we can set up a play date.
She looks at me and goes I'm married.
I was thinking that's nice.
My son wants to play with your daughter.
So I said me too.
My wife would love to meet you.
Our kids are playing well together.
Do you want to set up a play date.
At that point her husband walks up and she goes this guy is asking for my number after
I told him I'm married.
At this point I'm thinking fuck it not worth it.
I apologize and sit down and wait for my son to finish playing.
Yeah I should have said that the first time after she said I'm married.
You already got rejected bro.
I said say that once.
I'm like okay.
It's like cool.
Or that like now you can be something off topic like you guys what time is it I'm married.
Okay.
I didn't know I'm married was the time.
Next one is by Audra Nicolo.
This happened back in April.
It was only just recently stopped being completely mortifying and became funny enough for me
to feel okay posting it.
The day my mom passed away I sat in the living room.
I was having that giggle that early giggle didn't help at all.
It's like oh shit.
Over here laughing at this woman.
Damn.
How could you know I.
The day my mom passed away I sat in the living room with some of my family.
She had been sick for a while and in that time my cousin had found some necklaces at
my mom's house and brought them to me.
One of them was a skinny silver capsule maybe an inch and a half long.
My cousin insisted it was an intention stick like where you write on a slip of paper and
roll it up inside of the pendant.
After my mom had died I felt like an appropriate time to open it.
I look inside the capsule and saw what looked like white paper.
Oh.
Oh so it was an intention stick.
Real scared as to what it's going to be.
I think as I try to shake it out of my hand but no paper comes out.
It's ashes in my hand.
I just dumped ashes into my hand.
My great aunt's cremains specifically.
Oh God I'm sitting there having a heart attack while somebody in the room helps me brush
my hands onto a piece of paper and gets the ashes back into their little container.
At exactly this moment my cousin walks in and asks what I'm doing.
I start freaking out internally because the ashes were her mom's.
I thought she'd be horrified or even offended.
But instead she just started laughing like flat out cackling.
Mom still found a way to make her grand appearance.
Oh yeah I bet you the witch is a cackling.
My mom still found a way to make a grand appearance today.
She would have thought this was fucking hilarious.
She was right her mom would have found it absolutely hilarious.
My mom would have too.
I bet you were there laughing your asses off together in the beyond after that little
fuck up of mine.
Yeah I don't know if I want to dump some ashes into my hand though out of nowhere.
You know shit happens.
They fall off the fucking counter top or something.
Oh fuck.
Alright next one is by Have you tried CBD?
I have not.
What is CBD?
Oh that weed oil shit.
I have always thought the obligatory this happened blank days ago was annoying but here
I am.
This one happened last week.
My husband and I are going on vacation in a few weeks and we're hiring an in-house pet
sitter for the week.
We got two indoor security cameras to monitor our pets whenever the sitter is out.
Our dog has separation anxiety because her previous owners moved across the country and
left her in the house to die.
So it will be nice to check up on her virtually.
The sitter is welcome to put the cover on the cameras whenever they are home.
Anyways we installed the cameras last week.
It's fun seeing how our animals behave and interact whenever we're gone but I caught
something I wish I knew about earlier.
One day last week I made myself coffee but I had to go to the bathroom before enjoying
it and I'm not the type to bring my beverages to the toilet with me so I left it on the
coffee table.
I guess I'm going to drink out of the fucking cup.
When I was done with my paperwork I returned to the spot on the couch and my coffee and
thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.
Flash forward to later that day I was going through the camera footage and saw my dog
very sneakily tiptoe up to my coffee and take two sips.
This shit gives me energy.
And then gingerly returned to her bed and take the exact same position as before.
Motherfucker.
It was only gone for three minutes.
That inspired me to check the footage of a few days prior to where I recorded in every
single fucking day the exact same shenanigans.
But I also caught both my dog and one of my cats sharing the coffee.
That can't be good for them.
How long has this been going on?
I've had the exact same morning routine for years.
They probably just lit up on coffee.
Like where's my morning coffee bitch?
I can only assume that they've been sampling my hot bean juice on the daily.
Maybe the fuck up is that I didn't get the cameras earlier or that I shouldn't be leaving
my coffee on the coffee table.
Watching your dog shake from lack of fucking caffeine.
What's the caffeine at?
Having caffeine withdrawals after years.
They probably would too.
Their system is so used to taking the two sips every morning.
For years?
And then the cat sharing it with it.
Fucking asshole animal.
Jesus.
Next one is by Natta Wurdle.
Not a Wurdle.
This person puts, I work in a big city near where my girlfriend lives.
And yesterday after work I drove straight to her house and parked my car in the street
next to hers as I usually do.
But this morning whenever I returned to where I thought I had parked my car it was gone.
Having been towed in the area before I immediately thought it had happened again and started
frantically looking for my car.
Hoping that they had just moved it rather than impounded it.
After looking all over the five streets adjacent to hers I came to the conclusion that it must
have been impounded.
So after a 10 minute walk to the nearest police station I explain my situation to them but
they are unaware that my vehicle has been towed and tell me to look around the area
again.
I go back to where I thought I had parked it and search the streets again but defeated
have to return to the police station where they tell me that they will drive me around
the area to help me look for my car.
After 20 minutes of waiting two officers arrive to accompany on my search for my lost car.
In the first address in the first adjacent street that we enter I see my car parked
and have to admit with shame that it's exactly where I told them I had parked it and then
start to apologize profusely to the officers wasting their time.
I then got out of the car and wonder why I had not seen it parked there the two times
I looked.
Hmm.
They're just like dude you walking past your uncle and don't want somebody to get reparked
it right back in the city.
They'd put it back.
Oh that'd be so fucked up.
That is odd.
Very much so.
And the last one for today is by Gray Fox MMU.
Gray Fox.
Spurs and puts.
I was on the last hour of shift serving at a Vietnamese Pho restaurant and was so tired
and stressed.
The owner was there that day and she was always super critical and scary to be around.
Like you never knew what she was going to go off on you for the smallest mistakes.
So I'm bringing a piping hot bowl of Pho to the super sweet Vietnamese dude and right
as I go to set it down the bowl slips out of my left hand and sloshes soup onto his
lap.
Jesus.
Oh that would suck.
Have you tried Pho?
Nah.
Like that shit is boiling hot.
I've watched my cousin eat it right.
And just the angle that we were sitting in the seating arrangement of the table.
Like he had to bend over to eat it right.
And like we're eating it because I was eating chicken fried rice and they were all eating
Pho.
Three of my cousins and then me.
And I look over at my cousin and he's just fucking soaked in sweat because he's been
bleeding over and he's like ha ha ha.
Wiping it off with his fucking sleeve.
So much humidity and fat.
Yeah he's just like fucking melting.
I told you this shit's hot.
She spilt it on this dude's lap.
So he probably had third degree fucking burns at that point.
Yeah.
It was obviously hot and burned him.
Not seriously.
The owners updated me that he's okay.
I felt horrible and immediately terrified for what the owner was going to do.
I grabbed towels for the customer and apologized like crazy.
I beat the shit out of him in the back.
I was so scared.
The guy even laughed and asked why I was so nervous.
I knew it was going to be bad whenever she had me follow her to the very back of the
kitchen.
But surprisingly she didn't yell or even look angry.
She just plainly explained that no one has ever messed up this bad in four years of being
in business.
God damn.
And then very calmly fired me on the spot.
Damn.
I felt it was deserved and I'm devastated.
I've been crying on and off for about a couple hours now and I'm starting to forgive myself
but I feel like this will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Yeah, because you wrote it down so it must.
It's one of those things where it's one of those things from just being a human that
like you're laying down at night about to hit to sleep.
Your brain is like hey you remember that one time you fucked down there?
You're like damn it.
I've had those moments a lot.
They just eat away at you sometimes.
And it's usually something not greatly.
It's those things, here's what people don't understand.
Your fuck ups are the last thing on people's mind.
It's funny for a little bit and then let's have a person who's a true fucking asshole
who can never let shit go just because they're assholes.
No one ever thinks about your fuck ups ever again.
Generally no.
Just you.
You don't have to run over a child or something.
Remember the time you killed that kid?
You gotta keep reminding me.
Like it's different if it's an actual huge cry.
I'm just saying generally like normal stuff like you trip in front of your coworkers,
you're like fuck.
Or you fart in front of your coworkers like fuck.
Although one side note, my dad he was working his secondary job and there's a lady that's
staying in this hotel from FEMA.
So he's joking with her and he's like you know that I'm undercover boss right?
I'm trying to make sure these people in here are doing their jobs.
And he's like so which one of these would you fire up here and which one would you keep?
He's like the fat lady or the old Indian over here.
And apparently she found this super super funny right?
Like I don't know how but she found this super super funny.
She bends down and she farts.
And my dad said he looks over and he's like the fuck was that?
And she holds her ass and says where's your bathroom at?
So what you shit her some?
She shit herself in a hotel lobby.
Shit happens I guess.
I know she's been avoiding him for the past week.
Don't blame her.
It's fucking embarrassing.
He said he'll walk in for his job.
He'll walk in and he'll see her come in from outside and she's like oh he's around the
corner real fast.
Poor girl.
But again he doesn't mess with her about it.
So again like how we were just now talking about nobody remembers your fuck ups.
Generally you can shit yourself if people don't care.
You can shit yourself on national TV if people forget.
It's just human nature you know.
You forgive and you forget.
Yeah.
I mean not even like forgive.
There's no point to forgive because you didn't do anything wrong.
I'm just saying like it's just like you know.
Just like move on.
Yeah.
That's life everybody.
Absolutely.
Anyway enjoy it while it lasts.
Just be glad you can get up and do stuff.
Exactly.
Be glad that you woke up this morning.
Or don't be.
I don't know.
I don't know your certain state of mind.
Regardless you got to be happy at least you woke up.
Yeah.
Unless you live in Canada then they'll help you go down to freedom town for good.
Shit that's bad.
It's like Futurama level.
Where they're going to have those boxes.
Do what I do and you know write down your dreams.
They're fucking wild.
Exactly.
All right anything else to add before we head?
I can already tell tonight I'm just going to prop them in my head like oh damn it.
And then you have like those fucking scenarios where you like a situation you should have
done differently.
Yeah like it's what I should have done.
And what I should have told that person because I'm just a boss now.
And this is from like middle school.
The saddest shit in the world.
You'll be in the shower and be like that's right.
Fuck.
Like darn now.
That's what I should have said to him.
It's like this happened when you were seven.
It's just like you can't get away from it.
Yeah and the only one that focuses on it is you.
Basically yeah.
Like take a true fucking troll to consistently remind you of your fuck ups.
Yeah.
I know most of my family is like.
My brother's that way from me.
Oh yeah.
But that's what the little brother's supposed to do.
Try to survive.
All right well with that we will see you guys on the next one.