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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noe.

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And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown

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movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.

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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.

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Let's go ahead and get started.

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All right.

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So time for the next half of The Wise Kid You Know, episode six through 10, which I

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discussed my favorite skit or skits of that particular episode.

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And with that, we'll finish up season one.

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So we start with episode fucking six and off the bat, it gets fucking crazy.

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So Darren's, I forgot their fucking last names.

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I didn't write them down, but you guys remember from the last episode.

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So Darren's chilling in like this little office space, little like break room.

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He's drinking coffee and Trevor comes around the corner and he's like, yo, Darren, what's

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up?

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And Darren starts telling me about this, how he got this new car wax that's so amazing

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on his car.

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And he's like trying to get into like deep into it, right?

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And Trevor's like, fuck that.

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And he starts doing the fake jerk off thing.

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Like how it's stupid.

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Like, ah, that's shit stupid.

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I don't give a fuck.

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And he's like, oh, and Darren like just gets disappointed.

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And so it's like, listen, you want to go to this party after work?

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It's like, oh, a party?

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Who's it for?

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Like it's for this woman.

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It's her housewarming party.

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A bill from my county is going to be there.

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You know, that chick from the seventh floor.

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And then Darren tries to get back at him by doing the jerk off thing, right?

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But he does it slow.

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Like he does it real fucking slow with like true, like, like he's the first one he holds

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like he's holding a fucking like a two liter of cola.

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Like that's how wide he's got his hand.

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And he's just stroking himself up and down real fucking slow.

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And of course, Trevor's like, yay, that's not how you do that shit.

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You need, you need, it's supposed to be doing really fast in the stop.

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You got to do it really fast in the stop.

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What the fuck are you doing?

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You're doing it wrong.

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Like he just, he starts having a nervous breakdown.

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And so then Sam comes around the corner and he's like, oh, what are you doing?

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Oh, you're not supposed to do that.

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He's supposed to do it really fast to stop.

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So he knows the fucking etiquette on it too, right?

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So then Darren starts getting real fucking weird.

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Like he starts stroking Trevor's fake penis, right?

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He's like, well, that's, that's completely like Trevor starts flipping.

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That's completely all a lie.

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You can't be doing that.

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And then he fucking touches Tim's, right?

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It's like, no, you can't touch Tim's.

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You never touch Tim's.

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What are you doing?

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And then he fucking finishes and Trevor's like, you can't finish.

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You're not supposed to finish.

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But you finish it all over his own fucking face.

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And like, bear in mind, all of it is fake, like miming, jacking off.

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Nothing's actually happening, but they're fucking flipping out.

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And Trevor runs to the boss to tell him, Darren.

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And so that's, so then on the same episode, there was another good one that I liked.

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And the reason I like it is the way that Sam does this weird thing during the skit.

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So Sam plays this guy named Bob, AKA Bigfoot.

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Trevor plays this guy named Gravedigger.

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Zach is Bob's girlfriend, Charlotte.

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And then Timmy is Barbara, Zach's friend.

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So it's Bob.

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So I'm just gonna say that real name.

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So Zach and Sam go to Timmy's house for a party.

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And Bob is a fucking monster truck driver by the name of Bigfoot.

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And so they're just there to, by the way, they're like, oh Timmy, you got an Asian.

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Yeah, I found them at the home depot the other day.

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But just some random Asian that they invited.

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That's like a centerpiece to the party.

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Like the weirdest shit.

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So at the other end of the fucking room, Bob notices that Gravedigger's there.

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Trevor, who plays Gravedigger, is rival monster truck driver.

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And so they-

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And in real life, they really are.

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What?

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Gravedigger and Bigfoot.

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They're real?

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Yeah, they're real.

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Goofy.

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And so I guess they must have seen one of them.

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And so they start doing this thing where they try to up each other.

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You know like monster trucks destroy things, right?

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So they walk around the room fucking just destroying all the shit.

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Like at first, when they confront each other, Gravedigger like, oh, I need myself a little

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punch of a little cup of punch.

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So he goes across the room and fucking just smashes all these fucking tables.

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And he's like, oh, fuck all this shit.

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And he gets to the fucking punch wall and he takes a sip.

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That's some good punch.

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So then Bigfoot's like, oh, I wonder if there's a bookshelf over there.

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I wonder if there's that book that I was looking up.

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Let me go check.

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And the fucking Timmy's like, no, Bigfoot, please, no.

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And he fucking goes across the fucking room, smashes more tables and fucking gets to the

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fucking bookshelf and looks through the book.

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No, it's not here.

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And fucking knocks over the Asian.

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Timmy's like, no, I'm Asian.

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So then to fucking trot atop him, Gravedigger's like, he's going to jump the fucking bookshelf.

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And, by the way, he jumps the bookshelf, right?

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There was no stunt double.

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And he like, Trevor legit fucking falls onto a fucking upturned table, like stomach first.

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You could just see him fucking tumble into the corner.

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And he fucking gets up first.

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He's like, oh, fuck.

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And he gets up and he's like back in his fucking scene, right?

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Yeah.

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And so Bob's like, well, there's only one thing left to do.

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He's trying to fucking jump out that fucking five story window onto the ground below.

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And at that point, they were all doing that goofy acting thing, like where they're all

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there like overacting, like, no, please, my table.

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We're smashing the table, right?

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Charlotte drops the act and she's like, no, Bob, you'll fucking die.

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And then Gravedigger's like, you better listen.

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Yeah, your girlfriend's right.

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You will fucking die.

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And then Sam does this thing where he does this rev thing with his arms.

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He's like, I'm getting ready.

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And he started running in place.

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And he fucking jumps out the window.

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And then the next fucking cut scene is a fucking just a gravestone with Bigfoot, like 1975

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to 2006 when he fucking killed himself.

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So what?

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Oh, they're actual people?

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Actual trucks, monster trucks.

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Weird.

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I guess they must have known about it or watched it when they were kids.

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That's hilarious.

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Because it's basically everything that a monster truck would do, destroy shit, then jump shit.

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Well, he tried to jump five stories and died, so the skit ends with him die.

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It's just a fucking, it's just a tombstone that says Gravedigger or no, Bigfoot, 1975

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to 2006 or some shit like that.

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I can't remember the actual date.

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All right, so episode seven.

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It's a simple episode.

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It just has Trevor and an actual woman.

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I say that because a lot of them just play women themselves.

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And he's the only one of the whitest kids in the skit.

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There's an actual, because they always play the characters, right?

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But sometimes it's weird when they don't, and it's interesting.

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And it's an actual older couple, a man and woman and their daughter.

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And Trevor is meeting them for the first time having dinner at this nice little swanky restaurant,

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right?

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And the dad finds out that Trevor used to go to Columbia.

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He's like, oh, a graduate of Bastars.

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And he's like, oh, just to Bastars.

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I don't know if I can handle another two years of eating ramen every night.

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You know what I mean?

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And he does that thing where he sticks his hand in his throat, not far right to present

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his vomiting right.

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But he sticks his hand too far and he starts fucking throwing up all over the fucking table.

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The parents are just watching because there's nothing they can do.

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He finishes throwing up and he's like, I didn't mean to do that.

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I was doing that.

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I didn't mean to do that.

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So just like the funniest first impression of a boyfriend meeting his girlfriend's parents

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for the first time and he just fucking vomits all over the fucking table.

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All right, let's see.

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Episode eight.

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This is fucking wild.

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So it's Zach, Darren, and Timmy.

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Zach is playing a drama school teacher or a drama class teacher.

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And he's real, he's got the whole fucking get the hair, the glasses.

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He looks like a drama teacher.

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He looks like a hipster?

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No, he looks like a fucking brown jacket.

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He looks so fucking pretend professional.

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And so he wants Timmy and Darren to do this thing they call like, I forgot what it's called,

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the exercise.

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But basically one does one thing and the other one, they stand apart from each other.

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One does one thing and the other one reacts to the thing that they're doing to them.

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So at first they're doing a high five, a handshake, and then Zach's like, no, it's not a mirror

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exercise.

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So then they start doing like, he'll pretend to blow air and then Timmy will pretend like

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he's falling from the wind, right?

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And he does all this regular stuff.

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Darren does all the regular stuff.

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Then it's a 30 second chunks.

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Is it like improv?

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Yeah, it's like an improv little thing.

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So Darren's doing his stuff for 30 seconds and then it has to switch over to Timmy.

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And once Darren's done, it goes over to Timmy.

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Timmy immediately starts fucking making out with him.

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Not like making, he does the mirror thing, right?

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He's like, hands around.

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And then Darren's like, he's pretending like he doesn't like it, right?

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But then for some reason Zach's like, no, you have to enjoy it.

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You have to kiss him back.

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They start making out a distance from each other, right?

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So they're not actually physically touching.

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So they're making out.

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And then it cuts back to Darren after 30 seconds and he starts slapping the shit out of him,

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hitting him, stabbing him, right?

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And Zach's like, ooh, a lot of violence.

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Everything's okay here.

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It's fine.

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And then it cuts right back to Timmy and they go straight back to making out.

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And then they start making out.

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Like Darren doesn't like it.

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You have to enjoy this.

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Yes and, you have to follow.

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Yes and.

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And Timmy's like, oh, Timmy's starting to explore.

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He's grabbing his ass.

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And then Darren's trying to fucking plate him off, right?

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So then it gets fucking wild.

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Timmy drops to his knees, right?

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And he does that thing where he rubs his nose with his hand, right?

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He's like, you're about to get this shit.

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You know what I mean?

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He's about to put in some serious fucking work and he starts giving him a blow job.

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And Darren flips the fuck and leaves the fucking class.

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And Zach's like, Darren, you failed my class.

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And he looks over at Timmy and he's just like, Timmy, keep going.

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And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

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So Timmy fucking mime and blowing him off.

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It's weird as fuck.

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But what gets me to this fucking day is the way he wipes his nose.

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Like, you about to get this shit.

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Because he's looking up, like he's looking in your eyes, right?

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Yeah.

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But he's just looking straight up and he fucking wipes it.

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Yeah.

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But to put in some serious work on this guy.

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I'm like, what the fuck?

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Just a little nuances in acting that I love so much.

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Like a little bit of thing.

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Like it just resonates with you forever.

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Yeah.

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Like that note, he's like, oh, I'm about to do some serious work.

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All right.

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So now we move on to episode nine.

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So not so much a funny skit, but just the fucking absurdity of it.

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So it's said like the old timey 1940s, black and white.

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00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:05,840
They got their fucking mafia suits on with the fucking like black trench coats, the ties,

245
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,640
the fucking hats, right?

246
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,200
They look like mobsters.

247
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,760
And the straight man is Zach.

248
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,760
Everyone else is the comedy one.

249
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:20,960
And they're going to rob the Johnson Bergstein Witz, Witz, Iser, Bankburg.

250
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:25,400
And the funniest thing about that skit, because it goes off the rails every single time they

251
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,680
try to rob the bank.

252
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,080
They meet every Saturday.

253
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,920
They have no phone, the connection with each other, no phone numbers.

254
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,680
So there's anonymity sake, right?

255
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,680
Right.

256
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,320
So they could only meet on Saturdays.

257
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,820
And so he's got these blueprints, right?

258
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,060
One is for the first floor.

259
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:41,440
One is for the basement.

260
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,560
And all they had to do was get from this stairwell to that stairwell.

261
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:49,020
And you take the stairwell down to the basement room and then you can rob the bank.

262
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,720
He sends Trevor and Darren, right?

263
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:56,120
And he's like, all right, so you take this staircase here, get down to the basement,

264
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,040
go to this room and you can get into the bank from here, right?

265
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,960
And Trevor's like, so how do you get from this building to that building?

266
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,800
And Zach's like, what do you mean?

267
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,160
Like how do you get from this stairwell here, right?

268
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,680
To that stairwell there.

269
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,560
And he's like, well, this is the same building.

270
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,840
Like you see, this is the first floor right here.

271
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,240
This map here is the first floor.

272
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,560
This map over here is the second floor.

273
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,160
So that building is this building.

274
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,560
It's just like one on top of the other.

275
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,200
Yeah, but like is there a secret tunnel?

276
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:24,040
How do you get from this stairwell here to that stairwell to the basement?

277
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,880
And Zach's like, it's the same building.

278
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:32,920
Like it's just two separate maps because you can't put a map on the same, you know what

279
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,920
I mean?

280
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,820
And he's like, so this building is that building.

281
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:39,040
Once you take this staircase, it's the same as the staircase in this picture, just going

282
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,040
down.

283
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:44,160
So like there's secret tunnels here or over here.

284
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,400
So he fucking ruins the fucking, like, so they basically, they're waiting for the security

285
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:53,200
guard to take a bathroom break because he never takes a bathroom break except for this

286
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,800
one time like eight in the morning.

287
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,140
That's the only window they have to break into the bank.

288
00:12:57,140 --> 00:13:03,200
And so they get there and Zach and Sam are on the staircase as lookouts and then Darren

289
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,360
and Trevor are supposed to rob the bank, right?

290
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,880
So they go there, right?

291
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,760
And once they rob the bank, they're supposed to meet up the next Saturday to discuss what

292
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,760
happened.

293
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,800
And they meet up next Saturday and he's like, all right, so tell me what happened exactly.

294
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,400
And Trevor's like, well, we spend all the time because they had spent like 45 minutes

295
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,920
and they never robbed the bank.

296
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,600
So he wanted Trevor to explain what happened.

297
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,360
So we were looking for that secret tunnel, but there was the, this map's all wrong, by

298
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,360
the way.

299
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,080
And he's like, that is the same fucking building.

300
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,480
It was so funny.

301
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:36,840
Like just having a nap fucking henchman is fucking hilarious.

302
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,120
Which is sometimes I do wonder that whenever you're reading like comic books or playing

303
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,320
video games, it's like, how are they supposed to do it?

304
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:47,600
I guess that's the only people you can find to be honest.

305
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,640
Anyway, any smarter than they'd probably be trying to lead to.

306
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,640
True.

307
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:51,640
That's the only problem.

308
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:52,640
You got to get the done.

309
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,640
Like he found them all on Craigslist.

310
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,520
He's like Craigslist, never again.

311
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,680
Cause they were all just at one time, right?

312
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,560
Cause they only met on Saturdays.

313
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:03,920
And at one time Sam was making a blog of all their fucking exploits.

314
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,720
And you make a blog about us robbing the bank and then have a link to the bank's website.

315
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,720
Maybe the police are going to end up finding out what the fuck we're doing.

316
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,720
Don't you think that Sam?

317
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,320
It was just a diary.

318
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,560
He's just like chronicling all their fucking conversations.

319
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,560
Yeah.

320
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,000
All the time that Sam was running to the bank, right?

321
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,200
From eight blocks away saying like, stick them up copper.

322
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,440
And he got winded halfway to the bank.

323
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,680
And it's like, when you, when you yell out, stick them up, they're going to assume you're

324
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,680
going to rob the bank.

325
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,800
Like you're going to draw attention to yourself, aren't you?

326
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,840
He's like, yeah, you're probably right.

327
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,200
Or the time that Zach got there Saturday and it was just him by himself.

328
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,200
And he's like, where the fuck is everybody?

329
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,560
And then they got there the next Saturday.

330
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,560
He's like, what were you guys?

331
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,560
Like we were playing soccer.

332
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,920
And so he had the worst fucking management.

333
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,640
At one time they even invited someone with Timmy who wasn't part of the gang.

334
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640
Like, who the fuck is this guy?

335
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:53,640
That was Timmy.

336
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,640
He's like, no.

337
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,200
So he cuts to the next Saturday, Timmy's gone.

338
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,120
So he's just like, just trying to see Zach trying to fucking coordinate a bank robbery.

339
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,080
It's the funniest shit that is hilarious.

340
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,080
All right.

341
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,560
So last episode, episode 10, this one's fucking wild.

342
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,200
So Zach, Timmy, Sam and Trevor in it.

343
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,560
Sam is the wife.

344
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,120
Zach is the dad and Timmy is the son.

345
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:19,400
And apparently this dad is a fucking lunatic.

346
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:23,900
So him and his wife are going out to dinner and normally they have a babysitter for Timmy,

347
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,800
but because it's his birthday today, he's turning 13.

348
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,400
They're going to let him live by himself or they're going to let him stay at the home by

349
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:34,120
himself and he's like for his birthday, he's going to let Timmy shake his hand.

350
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:39,320
Like, oh, the first ever contact with his father ever, the physical contact ever.

351
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,720
So he shakes Timmy's hand like, thank you father.

352
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,800
It's like I've always dreamed of.

353
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,240
And the one, it's funny, like what I'm talking about, like the little nuances and what they

354
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,240
do.

355
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,600
You see Zach take his scarf that he's had and he wipes his hand with the one that Timmy

356
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,600
shook.

357
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,060
He's like, fuck that kid.

358
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:59,960
So he lets, like, you can tell he's a strict, strict father just by the early interaction.

359
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,580
So they leave.

360
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:02,580
It's Timmy's birthday.

361
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:03,580
He's 13, yay.

362
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:07,440
But, and Timmy, once they leave, he rips his shirt off, right?

363
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,920
And he says he's going to live on a mountain of chairs.

364
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,000
So he starts putting this fucking chair ladder up and he's going to stand on the very top

365
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,960
of the chairs and he's, I'm going to live on a mountain of chairs.

366
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,400
I'm going to live on a mountain of chairs.

367
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,840
So he's just singing that and putting these fucking chairs together.

368
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,800
And he said like, my birthday is like, today's my birthday.

369
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,120
It comes every two years.

370
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,840
So I'm like, are you 26 then?

371
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,040
Is what I'm, what I was first thinking.

372
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,880
Cause if his birthday comes every two years and he's just now 13, that makes him 26.

373
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:32,880
Yeah.

374
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,040
He's a fucking grown ass man.

375
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,400
Treated like a 13 year old boy.

376
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,200
Which is even funnier.

377
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,240
So horribly, the dad and mom get back.

378
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,080
Of course the mom, Sam, gets regularly beat.

379
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,120
He's got, she's got a black eye.

380
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,580
She's very timid and scary every time he yells at her.

381
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:53,880
So she, he's got no real, like, agency in the scene.

382
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,240
And so Zach gets there and he fucking flips out.

383
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,080
Timmy fucking falls off the chairs.

384
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,080
Zach throws the chairs out.

385
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,040
He's like, what the fuck have you been doing?

386
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,800
And he's like, did you go today?

387
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,800
So yes, father.

388
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:05,800
And did you save it?

389
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,800
Like I told you.

390
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,120
So basically he makes him save his fucking shits in a plastic bag and leave them in the

391
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,120
drawer.

392
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,120
So I bring me your seat.

393
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,400
I need to see it.

394
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:19,600
And he beats, depending on how the shit looks, that determines what he beats his son today

395
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,600
or not.

396
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,920
Like if it's extra dark and long, he beats the hell out of them.

397
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,000
So he brings the fucking shit there.

398
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
And it's like, this is especially long and dark today.

399
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,680
Have you been thinking of sitting in the sun?

400
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,000
He's like, yes, I thought of a girl.

401
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,760
And he fucking, Zach flips out and like, bring me the device and give me your hand.

402
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,280
And like, we never know what the device is or what he was going to do.

403
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,280
Because Trevor walks in, right?

404
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:43,080
And he says he's part of Child Protective Services.

405
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,680
And Zach flips out like, please don't tear my family apart.

406
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,720
And Timmy's like, please tear my family apart.

407
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:56,000
And Trevor gets bribed $100 for, funny, because he says something to the wife, like, I don't

408
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,240
know, like I see a timid son holding shit and I see a beaten wife.

409
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:04,160
And Zach says, like she fell down the stairs, but she says, I fell off my bike.

410
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,240
So they're already having no coordination.

411
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,680
His wife has a black eye.

412
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,000
So he gets, Trevor gets $100 as blinders.

413
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,240
Like how many, like how much for each blinder?

414
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:21,360
Like, well, I don't know, like to not see the kid and the wife, $100 each.

415
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:26,080
And so he pays him $100 for, or $200 for to go away.

416
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,880
And Trevor's like, all right, you stay classy Mormons.

417
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,400
And he just walks out the door.

418
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,520
Like, such a weird scene.

419
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,400
You have to watch it more because I can't really emphasize how fucking random it is.

420
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,440
Like, especially the part where Timmy just climbing on a fucking mountain of chairs and

421
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,880
how he fucking stacked it so well in that little cut, in that little scene there that

422
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,160
he was able to actually get to the very top of the, he doubles like four chairs.

423
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,040
Like stack on each other and like a different looking chairs too.

424
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,960
And he was able to climb to the very top without falling.

425
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:57,080
It was pretty structurally sound I had to say.

426
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,720
But yeah, it's a bag of shit he was holding.

427
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,720
Especially long and dark.

428
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,520
Especially long and dark today, Timmy.

429
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:07,800
If you've been doing anything sinful today, I've been thinking about a girl.

430
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,600
So you son of a bitch.

431
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,760
Out of all of them, I would have to say that Zach is the one that, like when he dresses

432
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,600
up as a character, like he's another character.

433
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:30,960
chompers.

434
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,320
Like the drama teacher or the dad.

435
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:24,160
He's like, you know, he had like a gray wig.

436
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,760
Like he just looked like a dad.

437
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,960
And with the other one, he looked like a drama teacher who liked watching kids mime blood

438
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,760
Like, keep going, Timmy.

439
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:34,760
You're supposed to enjoy it.

440
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,160
Yeah, I'm trying to make Darren enjoy the sexual assault.

441
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,960
It's like, you have to enjoy it, Darren.

442
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,280
I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

443
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:51,440
It reminds me of the teacher that we had for drama class.

444
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,440
Did we?

445
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,440
Oh, we did.

446
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,440
Yeah.

447
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,440
Oh yeah.

448
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,440
He was all right.

449
00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:01,480
But the character that you're describing is that one dude, the kid that was in our class

450
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,120
that was like way too into drama class.

451
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,720
I remember he had a beard already and everything.

452
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,080
No, was it me?

453
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,080
No.

454
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,080
I didn't even know I was five years old.

455
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,880
You had the cholo mustache.

456
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,880
That's different.

457
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,080
No, this dude looked like he was already like 27.

458
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,080
Maybe he was.

459
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,360
Maybe his birthday comes every two years.

460
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,840
All right, guys.

461
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,880
So I know I promised you guys some boys or the boys.

462
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,280
But I figured the boys.

463
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,280
The boys.

464
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,680
I promised you guys some boys.

465
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,680
Some little boys.

466
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,280
But I couldn't, I couldn't catch them.

467
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:43,040
No, so anyway, the Amazon Prime show, the boys.

468
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,240
I was going to talk about the new episodes, but then I realized there was so much content

469
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,680
that it would just be out of place unless I started from the very beginning.

470
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,480
And the thing is, we're not exactly the most timely of podcasts.

471
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,280
Why don't I just start with, I mean, we're talking about the whitest kids you know, it

472
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,280
was like 2010.

473
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:05,600
So I figured I'll start with episode one, describe it in summary, what happened, and

474
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:11,360
then we'll just keep going until we get to the episode, I guess, eight of season four.

475
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:15,960
Plus we'll cover Gen Z as well, or Gen V, and the animated show as well.

476
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,880
Then we'll move on to Invincible or something, or Amazon, or no, Fallout.

477
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,480
I don't know.

478
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,040
I'm fucking wasted.

479
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,200
I'm not actually.

480
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,120
I don't drink or drive.

481
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,120
You do both.

482
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,120
You don't drink or drive.

483
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,120
You drink or drive.

484
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:39,840
All right, so season one, episode one of The Boys, which I think came out in 2019, so it's

485
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,840
not that long ago.

486
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,840
Surprisingly, no.

487
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:49,080
But I'm into, I guess there's a new, it ended in season five, by the way, if anyone's wondering.

488
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,920
It was created by Eric Kripke, the guy that created Supernatural, which is why you see

489
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,880
so many actors from Supernatural.

490
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:02,440
You already had Dean, you had Bobby, you had their dad, John Winchester.

491
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,760
They needed him, didn't you?

492
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,280
He's in season four now.

493
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,280
All this stuff to Sam.

494
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,280
Like, come on, Sammy.

495
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,280
He's being Walker.

496
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,280
You even have God.

497
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,280
Oh, um.

498
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Charlie, or whatever his name was.

499
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,280
The Prophet.

500
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,280
Or Chuck Shirley.

501
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,280
Yeah, you have Chuck.

502
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,280
He's in episode four.

503
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,280
And when we get to episode four, you stay away from the episodes.

504
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,280
And when I tell you what happened, you'd be like, you've got to be fucking kidding me.

505
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,280
If you're wondering, he's looking like naked, is what I'm saying.

506
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:34,800
You got no problem there, you can look it up right now.

507
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:40,920
Which was not what I was going to say.

508
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,920
Uncircumcised, by the way.

509
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,920
Too much info, huh?

510
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,920
On the Lord.

511
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,680
I am wondering if Sam's going to do it or not.

512
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:50,680
I hope he does.

513
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,120
He's too busy with his Walker Texas Ranger.

514
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,120
I thought they got canceled.

515
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,120
Did it?

516
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,120
Yeah.

517
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,120
I don't know what he's doing now, then.

518
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,640
He's waiting for that call out for the boys.

519
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:05,320
I mean, you had Dean as a soldier, but was a major component in season three.

520
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,320
Yeah.

521
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,560
So I mean, like, I guess you have to give something on par to him.

522
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,560
Moose.

523
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,200
I don't know what hero.

524
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,200
So I don't know.

525
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,200
We'll see if Sam does it or not.

526
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,720
Maybe he's not on good terms with Eric Kripke.

527
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:18,720
It's possible.

528
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,080
By the way, he loves to do that fucking, he's got his own like, every director apparently

529
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,280
has a trademark shot that they like to do.

530
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:28,060
And Kripke's is the trunk open.

531
00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:31,600
When you open the trunk opens and you see the guy standing, you're basically in the

532
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,600
trunk.

533
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,600
Yeah.

534
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,880
That iconic scene, that's all over the boys.

535
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,760
The consistent trunk open.

536
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,720
All right, so the episode starts off with an armored bank robbery that's stopped by Queen

537
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,080
Maeve and the Homelander, two members of the Seven.

538
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,720
Queen Maeve is their version of Wonder Woman and Homelander is their version of Superman.

539
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,920
They easily stop the bank robbers and they save the day.

540
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,920
They have a bunch of selfies with the fans.

541
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,400
Like, Homelander, can I get a selfie?

542
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,400
Of course you can.

543
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,400
I'm Homelander.

544
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,640
I'm God dang, I'm America.

545
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,200
Apple pie.

546
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,960
And what does the other baseball?

547
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:07,960
Big fall in Apple pie.

548
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,220
I wear the America flag as a cape.

549
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,240
So he's American as it can be.

550
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,600
Blonde hair, blue eyes.

551
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600
Maybe he's German.

552
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,600
It's possible.

553
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:22,080
So we cut to Huey, one of the main characters, Huey Campbell.

554
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,800
He works at this audio video store and just a regular guy.

555
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,360
Nothing special about him.

556
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:29,360
No superpowers.

557
00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:32,800
He's just trying to make his way through the world and he's trying to sell this woman all

558
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:38,840
this electrical equipment and he's trying to sell her like on a higher priced HDMI cable

559
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,800
because this carbon is more conductive.

560
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,480
Little more expensive, but it's carbon and it's highly conductive.

561
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:44,480
You'll love this one.

562
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,800
He's trying to make some sales.

563
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,680
Trying to sell a little bit.

564
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:49,680
And he meets his girlfriend Robin.

565
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,920
They're going to go out to eat.

566
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,840
And so they go outside, they're talking and she takes a step off the curb, just one step

567
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,400
off the curb and moves over to, and they're looking right at each other.

568
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:03,720
He's on the curb, she's one step off the curb and she just fucking disintegrates.

569
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,520
She just turns into goo.

570
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:09,480
One second she's there and the other second there's just blood all over Huey's face and

571
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:16,240
the camera turns over and this superpowered guy, A-Train, the flash of this universe,

572
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:20,400
has just run out through his girlfriend Robin.

573
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,520
Run through her like she fucking liquefied.

574
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:30,400
The only thing about her left other than blood and guts is the two hands that Huey's holding.

575
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:36,440
He's just holding her two hands and he just fucking flips out, which I don't blame him.

576
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,080
He's like Robin, Robin.

577
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:46,640
And so we next go to Starlight, a superhero out of Des Moines, Iowa and she's training,

578
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:52,080
which is really inconsistent on their power scale here because she's 110 pounds, 5'6",

579
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,600
she's doing pushups, she's doing pull ups right, one handed, and she's struggling to

580
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,200
do a pull up, 110 pounds right.

581
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:02,040
Then the next scene she's fucking lifting the back of a fucking truck like a car.

582
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,040
She's like, like that.

583
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,720
So I'm like, okay, how did you struggle to do a pull up?

584
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:08,720
Right.

585
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,360
That still jars me to this day.

586
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,800
And she's fucking punching holes into bricks.

587
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,520
There's a brick wall of shit, their garage is separate from their house and so she's

588
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:22,800
punching through the fucking brick wall outside the garage, just making dance into it.

589
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:28,200
So she's super strong and her powers are basically, she takes electricity from the environment

590
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,080
and she generates energy attacks, like just energy flashes.

591
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,640
And they're not really electrical, it's light.

592
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:41,120
But she needs electricity or electronics to even do, her powers are confusing to me.

593
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:46,800
If they're electrical, there's no electricity, she's shooting bursts of light.

594
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,640
But she needs electrical devices to power up her abilities.

595
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,000
Without them, she's just super strong.

596
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:55,040
Well, I mean, she's still super strong and super durable, but her main ability is the

597
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,360
light attacks.

598
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:59,920
So her ability is kind of fucking always confusing me.

599
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:04,040
They're not electricity based, being that she uses electrical devices to power herself

600
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,080
up.

601
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:12,720
So we come back to Huey, he's at home and he just finished a memorial for Robin and

602
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:17,600
Huey's dad, by the way, Huey's dad, who's also named Hugh Campbell, they're both Hugh

603
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:23,080
Campbell, but Huey's called Huey and the dad's called Hugh.

604
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,040
The funny thing about Huey is he played by Simon Pegg.

605
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:30,040
Now the reason it's funny is that Simon Pegg is actually the likeness character that they

606
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,280
use for Huey in the comic book.

607
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:39,200
The writer used Simon Campbell as the physical representation of Huey in the comic book.

608
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,840
Like the likeness, he took the likeness.

609
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:47,400
Like how Alan Moore took the likeness of that one musician for Constantine, or whatever

610
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,000
he said, I don't remember who he was supposed to be.

611
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,320
But it's the same thing, like he took Simon Pegg and just made him Huey Campbell in the,

612
00:27:55,320 --> 00:28:00,200
not like 100% likeness, but that was the base.

613
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:06,280
Well it's kind of like how Luther and DC Comics was modeled after David Bowie.

614
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,280
David Bowie.

615
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,200
That's why they look the exact same.

616
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,200
Yeah that's what I was trying to say.

617
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,560
Simon Pegg is the model for Huey, so they made him the dad because he'd be too old to

618
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,360
play Huey in the movie.

619
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:22,560
But it's a nice little homage, I guess, or a throwback.

620
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:27,960
So they're sitting, they just get home, they're watching TV, and A-Train comes on into a press

621
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,400
conference and he says like, I'm sorry, I ran over that woman.

622
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,400
My bad.

623
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:38,320
He says it more tactfully, but that's basically what he said, like shit happens, I'm sorry.

624
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,620
And then fucking Huey gets real mad.

625
00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:44,320
Because he said like, she got, I was chasing some bank robbers, she walked out on the street,

626
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,400
he said, she was a half step off the fucking curve.

627
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,400
And you'll hear that a lot in this episode, half step off the fucking curve.

628
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:56,480
Which she basically was, she has one foot on the curve, the other one on the street.

629
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:03,280
So the doorbell rings, and one of the representatives for Vought, the company that funds The Seven,

630
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:07,000
which is the Super League, the Just League team in this universe, like they're all corporate

631
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,640
owned by the way, all the heroes.

632
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,400
And so A-Train is part of The Seven, so he's part of Vought's company, he's their representative,

633
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,960
or he's their hero, I guess mascot, yes, I don't know what to say.

634
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:26,880
And so they're offering Huey a check for $45,000 if he signs his NDA, not talking about what

635
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:27,880
happened to Robin.

636
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:28,880
Right.

637
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,880
Huey's like, can I think about this?

638
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880
And the guy leaves.

639
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:36,120
So we go back to Starlight, and she gets invited to be part of The Seven.

640
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:41,040
She'd been getting interviewed, because one of the members of The Seven was retiring,

641
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,400
so they needed a new member, so they decided to go with Starlight.

642
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,920
So it goes back to Huey, and he's trying to build a lawsuit, a wrongful death lawsuit

643
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,160
against A-Train, because they can't be criminally charged, because they kind of work like police

644
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,360
when they're in the field.

645
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,680
They can't be criminal for damages that happen on the job.

646
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:58,680
While doing their job, yeah.

647
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:04,800
Yeah, so he's trying to figure out how to bring charges to A-Train, and he gets in an

648
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,320
argument with his dad, because his dad wants him to sign the check and get this fight at

649
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:09,320
$5,000.

650
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,080
And he's like, dad, I can't do that, what about Robin?

651
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,360
He's like, Huey, you're not a fighter.

652
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,360
You never happened.

653
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,360
You don't have it in you.

654
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:17,360
Neither do I.

655
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,560
And I was like, I would have been mad if my dad, like, you're not a fighter.

656
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,560
I'm not a fighter.

657
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,560
And I was like, you whip your dad's ass.

658
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:22,560
I'll show you who's not a fighter.

659
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,080
He just beats the hell out of his wimpy father.

660
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,720
His dad's a wimp, by the way.

661
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,800
Huey Campbell is just like the saddest man that's ever lived.

662
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:37,440
And so it goes back to Starlight, and she's at the red carpet event, and it's the annual

663
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,840
shareholders, what did I write down here?

664
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:44,680
The annual meeting of shareholders, and one of the members of The Seven, The Deep, who's

665
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:55,160
their aquaman, he's invited to speak at the meeting, and he acknowledges that Lamplighter,

666
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:59,440
their once part of The Seven, was retiring.

667
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,880
After a long and distinguished career, Lamplighter's retiring.

668
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,960
Now welcome the newest member of The Seven, Starlight.

669
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:10,360
Starlight comes out to the fucking stage, and they're all happy, like, yay, Starlight,

670
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,520
and The Deep's doing his fucking posing and shit.

671
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:17,520
And so that's, yeah, the Lamplighter's retiring.

672
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,800
I guess if you want to know what the members are at the time, it was Homelander, Queen

673
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:28,640
Maeve, The Deep, Black Noir, A-Train, Translucent, and Lamplighter.

674
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,520
Lamplighter retiring is now Starlight.

675
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,880
So let's see.

676
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:41,760
So The Deep takes Starlight to the very top of Vaught Tower, Floor 99, which is like their

677
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,120
fucking The Seven's edge L.A. conference room.

678
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,920
It's so cool.

679
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:52,780
It's just like the highest point of the building, probably the highest point of the entire city.

680
00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:56,480
They have this whole little V-shaped conference room.

681
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,400
On one side you have three, on the other side you have three, and at the very bottom of

682
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,960
the V is Homelander's seat.

683
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,920
So it's like, you know, like Brandy said, like that.

684
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,440
It's the way I see it anyway.

685
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,840
They could have changed it.

686
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:13,240
And so she's all excited, The Deep's like, oh, you happy to be on the team?

687
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,540
All this and that, right?

688
00:32:14,540 --> 00:32:19,080
And then they get talking, he gets to Homelander's seat and she's like, is that his seat?

689
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:20,760
Homelander's, yeah, this is his seat.

690
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:21,760
You want to sit down?

691
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:22,760
And she's like, no, I can't do that.

692
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,360
They start talking and he starts saying like, oh, if she had a crush on Homelander, she's

693
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,360
like, no.

694
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,120
He always felt like Jesus, you know, like something so religious and like, because like

695
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,520
he's supposed to be so pious that no one would think about them sexually.

696
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,440
And she's like, actually, I had a poster about you, The Deep.

697
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,760
And The Deep gets all like, oh, he's like a little bit embarrassed, right?

698
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:45,480
So she starts talking about this and that and she pans back over and The Deep had pulled

699
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,240
his pants out, was jacking his dick off.

700
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,800
She fucking flips and she tries to walk away.

701
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,440
He's like, oh, what's happening?

702
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:53,960
What's he doing?

703
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:59,360
And he fucking coerces her by threatening her to be kicked out of the seven if she doesn't

704
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,140
blow him right then and there.

705
00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:07,120
And so the scene cuts from there, but he plays with sexual coercion, which is sexual assault

706
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:11,160
because The Deep was always, he was never going to be a redeemable character.

707
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:16,080
So for that, that was the point starting there that he's going to have a downward arc forever.

708
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:22,680
So it cuts back to Huey and he's at a convenience store and he's getting some food, just some

709
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,600
drink or whatever and or some beer actually.

710
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:34,620
And he closes the cooler and he sees a picture of A-Train because in this universe, the seven

711
00:33:34,620 --> 00:33:40,000
are like the most fucking famous entity in fucking the world.

712
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,240
So they have just like endless amounts of merchandise.

713
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:49,440
Like he had fucking, so he sees this beer, it's like the bullet ale, like A-Train's bullet

714
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,720
ale and he starts having a panic attack because he sees A-Train.

715
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,080
He turns around and he's looking at frosted A-Train, this fucking sear, it looks like

716
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,520
camped, like it looks like frosted flakes.

717
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:04,280
And then he walks around, there's a fucking a cutout of A-Train holding a Red Bull and

718
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,200
like the guy at the fucking counter is reading a magazine and on the cover is A-Train.

719
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,520
So he's like, no, he's everywhere.

720
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:15,520
So he's like, he has a fucking full on fucking panic attack, seeing A-Train everywhere and

721
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,400
knowing he could never do anything about it.

722
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,520
And oh wait, I did that fucking wrong by the way.

723
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,720
The deep sea, the annual meeting of shareholders was first, the Huey panic attack was second

724
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:32,240
and then the incident with the deep end started like was third, my bad.

725
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:37,720
I mean, technically it would have all happened in the same order that you said it.

726
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:44,000
So we cut to translucent on Jimmy Fallon and he's saying how, is it Jimmy Fallon?

727
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,360
He's on a talk show with Jimmy Fallon, like actually Jimmy Fallon.

728
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,560
And he's asking him like, so you turn invisible?

729
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:55,400
He's like, no, actually my skin's a carbon metal material and it bends light and like

730
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,880
his hand disappears, but he has to be butt naked to be invisible.

731
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:03,160
Like he can't be clothed at all because they haven't figured out the invisible woman type

732
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:04,320
material.

733
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,560
They don't have Reed Richards.

734
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:14,360
And so Huey's at work, it's late at night and the little bell rings, someone walks in

735
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,480
like and it's fucking Billy Butcher.

736
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:25,040
You'll find a lot about Billy Butcher and Billy's like, he's going through the little

737
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,640
the bears, the nanny cam bears and he's like, oh, you're looking for a little nanny cam?

738
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,000
Those are really popular.

739
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:36,040
And Billy's like, how many nannies you think really shake a baby?

740
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,280
And he looks over at Huey and he's like, I'm sorry?

741
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,780
Like what, 1%, less than percent?

742
00:35:41,780 --> 00:35:45,840
How many do you think really like ketchup out of a bottle and he starts shaking the shit

743
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:46,840
out of this bear?

744
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:51,160
He's like, how many do you think really shake a baby for real?

745
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:56,320
And he goes on to say like crazy that, million dollar business right there.

746
00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:00,060
You'd be surprised what you can sell people if you get them scared enough.

747
00:36:00,060 --> 00:36:06,400
So his philosophy is that if there could be like one woman, one nanny, it was like 20

748
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,960
years ago, sugar baby, right?

749
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,420
And ever since then, every parent's been freaked out.

750
00:36:10,420 --> 00:36:11,420
They may never happen again.

751
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:12,420
It was just that one incident.

752
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:13,420
Right.

753
00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:16,120
But you can sell like a billion fucking nanny cams.

754
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:17,920
That one incident forever.

755
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,640
So he knows the game.

756
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:25,120
So he talks to Huey and he tells him that he's an FBI agent and that he's trying to

757
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,900
figure out like, uh, he wants to help him with his A train problem.

758
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:31,600
So he takes him to this, uh, this club.

759
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:36,560
That's a secret, um, oh wait, let me not get too ahead of myself like last time.

760
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:37,560
Let me see.

761
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:38,560
Yeah.

762
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:43,320
So he talks to butcher for a little bit and he takes him to, um, this club that's fucking

763
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,200
what did I not write it down?

764
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,200
Hold on.

765
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,200
Everybody calm down.

766
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,200
I'm on it.

767
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:49,200
Don't you even worry about it.

768
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:53,080
Yeah, but I went too far again.

769
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,400
No, no, I didn't.

770
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,400
Here we go.

771
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,400
Yeah.

772
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:01,960
So, uh, he's talking to Huey for a little bit and, uh, he takes them to this club, uh,

773
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,320
where it's a secret club for soups where they can get away from, uh, the prying eyes of

774
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:10,080
the paparazzi because they're like, they're like mega celebrities in this world.

775
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:15,780
And there's this hero named Ezekiel who, uh, uh, he's like a religious character.

776
00:37:15,780 --> 00:37:20,720
He's capes for Christ and he runs this whole fucking program and like, he's got the, the

777
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:23,000
powers of Mr. Fantastic.

778
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,340
So he's getting a blow job from one guy.

779
00:37:25,340 --> 00:37:29,080
He stretches out across the room, swings over and starts making out with these two other

780
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,600
guys and Huey and, uh, butcher have to walk over his fucking body.

781
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,360
It's the weirdest fucking shit.

782
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,280
There's a fucking guy like, and man's ability to get small jumps into woman's vagina.

783
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,200
I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

784
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,800
So Huey's fucking just like, like imagine like, you know, something like, you know,

785
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,080
something at a face value your whole fucking life.

786
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:53,400
And then someone comes in and shows you the, the, the, the thing behind the value, the

787
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,660
face value, and it just destroys your whole conception or your whole perception of what

788
00:37:57,660 --> 00:38:02,520
you thought was, you know, and so like, like he's like, so he takes them to the back of

789
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,520
the club to look at this camera where A-Train and this other superhero are laughing at the

790
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,520
fact that he ran over, he destroyed, he killed Robin, right?

791
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:14,040
Huey's growth and so he just really like puts it like, uh, just like a, like this darkness

792
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:19,880
over Huey, like he gets real mad and, uh, it cuts from there to Starlight back in, in,

793
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,320
in, at the ball tower.

794
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:26,280
She's throwing up in the bathroom and, uh, and she comes out of the bathroom, she cleans

795
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,760
herself up in the next, in the sink.

796
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:29,960
Queen Maeve's doing stuff too.

797
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,160
Like she just, uh, it's like one of those like touch up stuff.

798
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:37,360
And they got the stalls, they got, it's like a, like kind of like an office bathroom or

799
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:41,200
like a bathroom in any building, but like she's going to end up living at that tower.

800
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,840
So that's, that's a regular bathroom.

801
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:43,840
So that's kind of weird to me.

802
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:44,840
Yeah.

803
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,480
That she's having her own private room with a bathroom.

804
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,480
Right.

805
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:52,520
And so let's like her, her room is somewhere else and that's just the, the main bathroom

806
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,520
for that floor.

807
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,520
Yeah.

808
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,320
But, uh, Queen Maeve gets mad at, uh, Starlight.

809
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,040
Like don't you, don't, don't ever let them see you like this cause she's crying.

810
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,640
She's got her mascara all running and like, don't let them show you how weak, or like

811
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,080
don't let them, or don't show, don't ever show them any weakness or something like that.

812
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,080
Right.

813
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:12,560
And she leaves, she says she calls translucent a pervert and she walks out and translucent

814
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,360
just materializes.

815
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:19,520
He's butt ass naked and he's just been watching them in the bathroom and he's like, Oh, I

816
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:20,520
guess I better just walk away.

817
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,760
Just fucking dick just swinging.

818
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,240
By the way, his dick to his belly button is real fucking far.

819
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,720
And I don't know why, I don't know why that upsets me so much, but like his, like the

820
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:33,200
distance is I guess cause I'm so fat, my belly button is like close, right?

821
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:37,320
Like his dick like miles away from his belly button.

822
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,880
Some of the weird things you notice in people's bodies.

823
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,880
I don't know why.

824
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,160
Uh, so it cuts back to Hugh and Butcher.

825
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:49,520
They're in this bar just talking and uh, Hugh is just like, his whole world has been shattered.

826
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,320
So like, he's like, so all our superheroes like this, they're all just horrible people,

827
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,520
even Homelander and uh, Butcher's like, no, Homelander is the exception.

828
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,520
Man's a saint.

829
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,520
Uh, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke.

830
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,080
Uh, just the good is still good.

831
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,200
He's fucking lying by the way.

832
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:14,000
And uh, he tried to get Hughie to go to Vaught Tower, uh, sign the NDA, get the 45 grand,

833
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:22,240
meet A train at the, the floor 99 in the seventh conference room where he'll plant a bug so

834
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:25,120
they, a Butcher can listen on their conversations.

835
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,120
And Hughie freaks out.

836
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,120
He's like, I can't do that.

837
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,120
And he leaves.

838
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,600
So Butcher's like, well, fuck me.

839
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,640
But now we meet Madeline Stilwell, uh, we don't meet her.

840
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:38,560
We met her earlier, but uh, this is like her actual like, uh, main, uh, scene for the episode

841
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:43,720
and she's talking to the mayor of Baltimore and how he's in, in line for a new superhero.

842
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:48,360
And uh, yeah, cause like, there's like 200 plus superheroes in the Vaught family.

843
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,640
So like all the superheroes, all the main ones are like, uh, they're, they're under

844
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,120
Vaught's uh, uh, umbrella.

845
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:00,760
So every super hero's corporate or corporate affiliated is fucking weird.

846
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,280
It'd be like Superman being Daily Bugle.

847
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:04,280
Yeah.

848
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,280
Or like, uh, just fucking, or being part of like Lex Corp or something.

849
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,280
Or Wayne Corp.

850
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:10,280
Exactly.

851
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,280
Wild.

852
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:17,880
And so, uh, uh, she wants to give him new VMPrince, this superhero, but she wants $300

853
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,120
million a year for his services.

854
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,760
And he's like, ain't no goddamn way I'm paying $300 million for a superhero.

855
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,000
Uh, I'll go as low as 200 million.

856
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,600
And she's like, no, thank you.

857
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:33,520
In the background, uh, Homelander, actually you see him fly by and, uh, real quick, just

858
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:34,520
for like a second.

859
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:38,560
Cause there I go up on a, on the, in Vaught tower and really high up, just see him zoom

860
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,880
pie with one of the windows and, uh, Baltimore's like, uh, what would happen if people find

861
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:47,360
out about compound V and, uh, still, well, you could tell she, she doesn't put on a good

862
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,600
phase like she, for a second she cracks.

863
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:54,200
She's like, uh-oh, he knows about compound V. And then the conversation ends there.

864
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,520
And it goes back.

865
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,760
So now, uh, Starlight's sitting, it's the next day, Starlight's sitting, uh, on a bench

866
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:00,760
in the park.

867
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,920
She's, she's super depressed after what happened with the deep.

868
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,200
And uh, she, and he was in the, on the, in the seat next to her and he just eating the

869
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,200
sandwich.

870
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:12,320
Like he's just eating, so I mean the sandwich is the weirdest thing on the scene.

871
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,840
Cause he's just fucking chowing down.

872
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,960
I've never seen someone sad before like that.

873
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:16,960
He's like, I'm so sad.

874
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,160
Can we eat this sandwich on this park bench?

875
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,160
I'm sad.

876
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,160
I'm a sad boy.

877
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:22,160
I'm a sad little boy.

878
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,160
I'm a sandwich.

879
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:26,840
I'm Keanu Reeves, I'm sad.

880
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:31,680
You ever seen that meme where he's eating the fucking food to the saddest fuck on the

881
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:32,680
bench?

882
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:37,800
And he notices that Starlight, the Starlight's crying and uh, they started talking and he

883
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,560
convinces her that regardless of what happened, right?

884
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,000
She's a strong person and she shouldn't let that thing keep her from doing what she loves

885
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,560
to do, which is to be part of the seven.

886
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:48,840
Like she doesn't, she doesn't tell him that she's a superhero because she's in her, she's

887
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:54,800
actually in her alter ego or like secret identity as Annie January.

888
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,740
So he just knows that she looks like she loves her job.

889
00:42:57,740 --> 00:43:01,640
If that guy ever does anything and she's going to knock his head clean off, he's like, oh

890
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:02,640
shit.

891
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:07,640
And uh, him convincing her to, you know, pick yourself up and keep going, convinces him

892
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:11,720
to go back to butcher and say like, I'm in.

893
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,840
And so he agrees to help butcher.

894
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:20,120
And so the next scene is the seven meeting like officially for the first time and uh,

895
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,160
with Starlight meeting Homelander and everyone at Queen Maeve and Translucent and Black Noir,

896
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,080
they're all sitting and uh, she immediately gets disenfranchised by the fact that all

897
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,520
they talk about is their merchandise getting stolen.

898
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,240
Like Translucent's got a movie coming out three weeks called uh, Invisible Force 2 or

899
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:35,240
some shit.

900
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:37,820
They're all movie stars by the way.

901
00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:41,040
And uh, he's like someone pirated my movie three weeks before release.

902
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,040
This is bullshit.

903
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,360
There, there's uh, unofficial Homelander t-shirts on Fifth Avenue.

904
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:47,360
What the fuck?

905
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:54,080
We're losing 1.2 billion dollars every year and they all have like four points of stock

906
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:55,080
in, in merchandising.

907
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,080
Except for Ray Tray.

908
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,360
Like you got four points?

909
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,680
What the fuck?

910
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,760
And then of course, Harmonize is like, like guys, what are we haggling about?

911
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:02,760
Nichols?

912
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:03,760
What's Starlight going to think?

913
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,000
Let's talk about what's really important.

914
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,760
Who did we save today?

915
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:08,760
And he looks over at Black Noir.

916
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,520
Black Noir, would you like to say first?

917
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,200
Would you like to start off?

918
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,440
Who did you save today?

919
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,400
Which is funny because Black Noir doesn't talk at all.

920
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,400
He's almost, he's silent.

921
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,400
Completely silent.

922
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,920
So the fact that he picked him first is funny.

923
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,400
All I'm saying is he's silent, which is there's something.

924
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,640
He does not talk for the first three seasons of uh, of the boys.

925
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,720
It's just the quiet ninja.

926
00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:30,280
He's like the version of Batman I guess.

927
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,680
If Batman had Captain America's abilities.

928
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:33,680
Yeah.

929
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:37,160
Loves his knives though.

930
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,160
Afraid of Soldier Boy.

931
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,960
All right, so here we go as Dava.

932
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:47,640
And uh, Butcher gives him, like he takes off the covering for his cell phone.

933
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,440
He puts the listening device on the back and he covers it back up.

934
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:54,800
Very simple, I guess, way to carry a listening device.

935
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,200
And he tells him what he's got to do.

936
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:57,200
You get up to Dava Tower.

937
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,200
You go up to the seventh conference room.

938
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,360
You shake hands with A-Train.

939
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,000
You tell him to go to the, you tell him you need to go to the bathroom.

940
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,200
You take the sticky part off of the uh, the listening device.

941
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,640
If you flush it down the toilet, you go back to the thing.

942
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,060
You sign the deal.

943
00:45:09,060 --> 00:45:11,040
You stick the thing underneath the thing and you get out.

944
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,040
He's like, you got it?

945
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,040
That's all you got to do.

946
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,040
That's it?

947
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,040
He was like, that's a lot.

948
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,040
Let me write this down.

949
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,360
He starts flipping out.

950
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:22,240
And he's like, and so Billy tried to calm down by saying like, look, you can either

951
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:23,240
do this.

952
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,760
You can either take the red pill, go up to Vod and you know, change your life forever.

953
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:26,760
Or you can take the blue pill.

954
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:27,760
Or where is it?

955
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,280
The red pill or you can, you know what?

956
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,280
Just stop being a cut and get out there.

957
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,080
And that's basically what he said.

958
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:33,080
Like I'm dead serious.

959
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,080
Just don't be a cut.

960
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,520
Get the fuck out of my car.

961
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:38,520
So he goes up there.

962
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:42,960
He meets A-Train and he starts having this little panic attack where A-Train, he sees

963
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,040
A-Train as he looked when he killed Robin.

964
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,520
He's covered in blood and he's just freaking out.

965
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,640
And then like something clicks in his head all of a sudden.

966
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,960
He's just like, I accept your apology.

967
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:54,960
Thank you.

968
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,000
You were out there saving the world, huh?

969
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,880
And then A-Train leaves and then he looks at the guy, the guy that offered him to check

970
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:01,880
at his house a while ago.

971
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,440
He's like, where's your bathroom at?

972
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:09,400
He goes to the bathroom that was on the floor that Starlight always goes to, that same bathroom.

973
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,000
And he's in the toilet.

974
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,320
He's trying to like take the thing off, take the plastic off.

975
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:17,760
And there's a big slam because someone slams the bathroom door and he drops the fucking

976
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:21,440
listening device outside the bathroom stall because he's hiding in the stall.

977
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,560
And he just still fucking stops like a fucking deer in headlights.

978
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Starlight comes in and she touches herself up with some makeup by the window and she

979
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,200
leaves.

980
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,560
And once he realizes that that person is gone, because he doesn't see it, he doesn't know

981
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:33,560
Starlight.

982
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,920
And the Annie that he met a little bit ago is fucking wild.

983
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,960
How like, you know, it always like Easter eggs always coming together or I guess world

984
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,200
billing we should call it.

985
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:46,880
And so she leaves, he hears her leaving, never looks through the stall or anything, puts

986
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,840
his hand underneath, grabs the listening device, takes the plastic off, throws it down the

987
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,360
toilet, goes back.

988
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,520
And as he's leaving, translucent just appears, right?

989
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,000
And he's like, what the fuck?

990
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,240
Because he like, that was weird because he saw the listening device on the floor.

991
00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:03,000
But he made sure not to do anything.

992
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,440
So he just goes invisible again, that's what I'm assuming, because he must have followed

993
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,680
him into the conference room.

994
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:14,120
So Q-I-G goes in, signs the NDA, slaps the thing underneath the table like a fucking

995
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,400
spy, bam!

996
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,400
And fucking leaves.

997
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,840
The butcher drops him off at his work.

998
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,040
And he's like, you ever seen an asshole rip up 45,000?

999
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,160
And he rips with a 45,000 dollar check.

1000
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:29,360
Because to him it wasn't about the money, it was about justice for Robin.

1001
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:30,760
And he goes to work.

1002
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:37,840
And that little action he did was like really, for Butcher, was like, oh, you're a good kid,

1003
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:38,840
Huey.

1004
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,480
That really spoke to him, I guess.

1005
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:45,000
You can see the minute facial change in Butcher's face when he saw him do that.

1006
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,800
He's like, oh, this really is a good guy.

1007
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,280
He didn't give a shit about 45.

1008
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,640
If it was me 45 grand, I mean, did I really love my girlfriend?

1009
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:55,000
But this 45 would go a long way.

1010
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,600
This would be a douche, man.

1011
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,760
You'd be surprised how quick people forgive the death of their family for some money.

1012
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:02,760
Real fucked up.

1013
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,760
Yeah.

1014
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,640
I'd be like, man, take your money and shove it up your ass.

1015
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:08,680
I'm going to bring all the vodka down.

1016
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,600
I'm going to give the homeland to these hands.

1017
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,600
Hit them twice and they get crushed like a melon.

1018
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,920
He's like, I'm going to make a homeland and give the deeper blow job.

1019
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,440
Oh, God.

1020
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,160
And so Huey's just at work, right?

1021
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,920
He's just like, though his boss leaves, you going to close up Huey?

1022
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,080
Like, I got it, boss.

1023
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:31,640
Just throw in little lug nuts into the little sorting tray.

1024
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,480
And the door opens up again.

1025
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:35,480
He doesn't look over.

1026
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,480
He's like, I saw it were closed.

1027
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,640
And he looks over and it's like fucking just there's no one there.

1028
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,120
And then out of nowhere, someone says, who the fuck are you?

1029
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,400
And Huey fucking flips the fuck out.

1030
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,320
And the guy, it's translucent.

1031
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,880
He drops the fucking listening device on the table.

1032
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,760
I followed you from the tower, bitch.

1033
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,360
And he fucking just starts beating the shit out of Huey.

1034
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,360
Who was that guy in the car with you?

1035
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,360
He's just an Uber.

1036
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,600
Don't fucking lie to me.

1037
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:03,200
And he's about to fucking kill Huey with a fucking TV, like a big ass screen TV.

1038
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,060
Like with enough force, like one of these TVs, it fucking cracks on the skull open.

1039
00:49:07,060 --> 00:49:11,960
And right before he dies, this fucking, the angle is, the cinematographer was fucking

1040
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:12,960
legendary for this.

1041
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:17,320
Because it goes from like him, like it starts on like a top down.

1042
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,560
So we're looking all like down, like the old GTA game, the very first one, which is horse

1043
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:24,880
shit where everything is like on the top of their head.

1044
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,480
And he's coming over to fucking crack his skull, right?

1045
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:32,440
And a car fucking comes in the frame right to the fucking doors, like right to the fucking

1046
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,920
front of the store, into the building and fucking hits translucent.

1047
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:37,040
He's invisible, right?

1048
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,920
But he goes through like four or five different fucking aisles, like shells, boom, boom, boom,

1049
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:41,920
boom.

1050
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,340
And then he opens the door like, get out of here Huey, I got this.

1051
00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:48,040
And so Butcher starts fighting translucent.

1052
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:55,320
And by the way, this is a great example of the way to be a good fighter or soldier or

1053
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:59,000
whatever you want to be in life is adaptability to the situation.

1054
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:03,240
Like Butcher's fighting an invisible man and he does not know where to hit him.

1055
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:04,880
So he's getting sucked in the face a lot.

1056
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,160
And so he got hit enough that he's now he's bleeding out of his mouth, right?

1057
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:09,900
So what does he do?

1058
00:50:09,900 --> 00:50:14,000
He spits on translucent and covers him in blood.

1059
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,000
There you are, you cunt.

1060
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,680
And he starts punching him, right?

1061
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:20,120
And then he grabs a hold of his hand and spits on translucent hands.

1062
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,600
So now translucent is covered in blood, but he's invisible.

1063
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,880
Like adaptability to the situation will keep you alive.

1064
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:25,880
Right.

1065
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:30,320
Instead of being like if you follow a strict set of like skills that you have, you'll die

1066
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:31,320
pretty quick.

1067
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,000
Well, that's like the saying that you can know all the karate or martial arts that you

1068
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,880
want, but it's only going to work if somebody follows along with you.

1069
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:37,880
That's true.

1070
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:38,880
Kick him in the nuts, I say.

1071
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,880
Kick him in the nuts so hard they fucking go up in the street.

1072
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,880
They just fall up in the street.

1073
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,280
You better start coughing their nuts in their throat.

1074
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,400
Like a nut stuck into like three Adam's apples.

1075
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:53,960
Look like a frog trying to breathe.

1076
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:59,080
So Butcher, of course, he loses because this guy's got his skin is like his hardest diamonds

1077
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,080
and he's invisible.

1078
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,200
So he's going to lose eventually.

1079
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,640
He doesn't have super strength though, which if he did, it would have a whole different

1080
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:06,640
story.

1081
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:12,520
So he's about to kill him with the crowbar because Butcher pulled out a crowbar that

1082
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,440
he only used, didn't even got to use because he missed when he tried to hit him.

1083
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,440
He was invisible.

1084
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:21,680
But he comes back after like he was thought about running away, but he decided not to.

1085
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:30,120
He comes back and uh, oh did I fuck up again?

1086
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:31,800
I did fuck up again.

1087
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:36,760
There was a scene before that between the Stillwater and the Baltimore mayor where,

1088
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,300
or Stillwell, where she called him up on the phone and he's driving to his car or he's

1089
00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:41,880
driving back home.

1090
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:47,000
And they agreed to 30, 230 million a year, but that he doesn't talk about compound V

1091
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,960
at all.

1092
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:52,120
So he, if he doesn't talk about compound V, it's 230 million a year.

1093
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:53,840
And he's like, I'm glad we could come to this arrangement.

1094
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,160
And he fucking hangs up the phone.

1095
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,720
Anyway, back to the fight.

1096
00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:59,560
So Huey comes back after thinking about running away.

1097
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:00,560
He's like, I can't run away.

1098
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:01,960
I gotta help Butcher.

1099
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:06,760
And Butcher's about to get his fucking head caved in with the crowbar.

1100
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,840
Huey grabs this, the TV that the transducer pulled out.

1101
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,960
The cable is like still live.

1102
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:17,240
So Huey grabs the cable and tried to shove it up translucent ass, but it doesn't go far

1103
00:52:17,240 --> 00:52:18,400
enough.

1104
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:23,560
And uh, uh, translucent notices that he turns around and when he does, uh, Butcher kicks

1105
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:26,320
him into the fucking wire.

1106
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,360
Like you can see his butt cheeks like ample, like you can see a light up in the fucking

1107
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:33,200
light, you know, out of all the invisible stuff that you see as an ass cheeks, like

1108
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:38,080
it go like different colors, different shades of orange from getting electrified and translucent

1109
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,760
just fucking passes out like clean out.

1110
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:44,720
And they think he's dead because comelot or, uh, Butcher kicks him in the face.

1111
00:52:44,720 --> 00:52:46,280
Huey's like, is he dead?

1112
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,760
Like, oh, he ain't moving, mate.

1113
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,240
And uh, I was like, how'd you know that would work?

1114
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:55,640
And here's the great thing about this show is that little stuff that you, uh, didn't

1115
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:58,360
notice at first when you rewatch it, you do.

1116
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,120
When Huey said earlier in the episode when he was trying to sell the HDMI cable that

1117
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,480
was carbon was more conductive.

1118
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:03,480
Yeah.

1119
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,000
Then translucent said that, uh, his skin is carbon metamaterial.

1120
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,040
And then so he was like, oh, carbon's highly conductive.

1121
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,200
There you go.

1122
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:11,800
And beautiful way to set it up.

1123
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:12,800
Yeah.

1124
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,680
He was always going to be vulnerable to electricity.

1125
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,480
They just, we just didn't know it till he got hit.

1126
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,440
And so, uh, Butcher's like, all right, help me get him into the boot.

1127
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,400
And he's like, the boot, like the trunk, come on.

1128
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,400
He's like, what do you mean?

1129
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:24,400
Like you're a federal agent.

1130
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,400
We just got assaulted.

1131
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,400
You will be fine.

1132
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:27,400
He's like, I won't be honest with you.

1133
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,400
I'm not actually a fed.

1134
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,740
So he was like, who the fuck are you?

1135
00:53:30,740 --> 00:53:33,120
And that's where that one cuts off.

1136
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:34,960
Them trying to take a fucking superhero.

1137
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:40,480
It'd be like them, uh, fucking knocking out the flash, right?

1138
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:41,480
In that, in that universe.

1139
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:42,480
And then try to hide it.

1140
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:43,480
Like, dude, like, what do you do with the body?

1141
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:45,920
We gotta get rid of this body.

1142
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,720
Because once the rest of the Justice League find out he's dead.

1143
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:53,840
So once the seven find out that a translucent out, plus they have tracking devices, all

1144
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,960
the super heroes that I don't know how they get them into the skin by the way.

1145
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,000
So they're like indestructible.

1146
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,560
So go figure.

1147
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:05,360
So the show, the episode ends with the Baltimore, the mayor of Baltimore on the, on his private

1148
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,200
jet home with his son.

1149
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,440
And it's like a little stormy day, the stormy night.

1150
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:20,040
So, uh, where's the stormy Daniels and, and she should call her boost, uh, lightning and

1151
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:21,800
thunder, but it would make sense.

1152
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,280
That's all I'm saying.

1153
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:25,280
Always follow the theme.

1154
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,040
I like, I like when you follow the theme.

1155
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,160
So it's, it's a lot of turbulence, right?

1156
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:34,320
He's trying to make it by the way, his son got a, uh, an autographed, uh, photo of Homelander.

1157
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,600
It's like, thank you.

1158
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:36,600
That's so cool.

1159
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,680
Like you, you, of course, anything for your son.

1160
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:44,000
And uh, they look at the sun, looks out the window and sees Homelander, uh, and he was

1161
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,360
home on our way zone.

1162
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,560
And uh, the son's like, dad, look, it's Homelander.

1163
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:52,400
And the dad's like, what the fuck is Homelander by the way, this is fucked up on my part,

1164
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:57,320
but the guy that plays the mayor, he has this vein on his forehead, right?

1165
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:58,560
That looks like a V.

1166
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:03,280
So when he kept saying compound V, his vein kept looking like a V to me that I can never

1167
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:04,280
unseat anymore.

1168
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:05,720
Now, nobody else can either.

1169
00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:06,720
No one else can either.

1170
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:10,240
I promise you the minute he said compound V, you'll see a V on the forehead.

1171
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:16,960
I'm like, oh, he's been taking compound V. And the Homelander is like, look at him, right?

1172
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,720
And the image here, right?

1173
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:22,400
Cause we're looking at him from the, uh, the glare of the glass.

1174
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,440
Like we're looking at him outside the, like we're looking at the, the, the dad and the

1175
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:29,640
son were outside the, uh, the plane and the glare.

1176
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:34,160
You can see, uh, Homelander, like in the glare of the, of the window and you can see his

1177
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:38,760
light, his eyes light up like with laser beams and he just fucking blows this fucking car

1178
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:39,760
plane up.

1179
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:41,680
Just like with laser beams.

1180
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:46,400
Like he just goes to like goes up down and like the shit just fucking crashes into the

1181
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:47,400
like, into the ocean.

1182
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:51,640
He just stands there looking, trying for like, hell yeah, I just did that shit.

1183
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:55,560
So that simple act of that, we know that he's, but that simple fact is the fact that he killed

1184
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,600
a little boy, like it was nothing.

1185
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,640
Just like, you know how anti-abalical he actually is.

1186
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:00,640
Right.

1187
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:01,640
And that's all, that's it.

1188
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:03,480
That's it for episode one of the boys.

1189
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:07,040
Next week we'll do episode two and we'll just keep going till we're done.

1190
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,120
We'll see how far episode, uh, season four goes.

1191
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:10,120
Shit gets wild.

1192
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:11,120
Yeah.

1193
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:16,800
It's one of those shows that Invincible kind of pushed that same envelope.

1194
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:21,840
They pushed it further when a fucking Omni-Man killed the entire fucking team.

1195
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:22,840
Aside from-

1196
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:23,840
Guardians of the globe.

1197
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:24,840
Aside from Immortal.

1198
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:25,840
Yeah.

1199
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:26,840
Since he's literally-

1200
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,760
I would have thrown that bitch into the sun by the way.

1201
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,880
Like I'm just saying, like I would have just thrown her some lava or something.

1202
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:33,600
There's something that can destroy him.

1203
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,480
If you can't destroy him, at least you got to contain him.

1204
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:36,480
If I can contain him.

1205
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,240
I want to just head, I would have kept his body.

1206
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:41,720
I would have just chopped his body and thrown him throughout the galaxy.

1207
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:45,080
I'll throw your leg here, your fucking foot here.

1208
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:46,120
Here's your arm.

1209
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:47,120
Your head over here.

1210
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,120
I'm done.

1211
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,400
I'm a diabolical human being is what I'm saying.

1212
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,720
If you tell me that you're going to regenerate, then I'm going to figure out how not to.

1213
00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:54,720
Right.

1214
00:56:54,720 --> 00:57:01,200
If I have to dump continual lava onto Wolverine for the rest of his life, like a perpetual

1215
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:05,760
state of lava pool, he'll never regenerate again.

1216
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,680
I'm that diabolical.

1217
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:14,200
I think Wonder Woman won that fight in, uh, what do you call it?

1218
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:17,160
Wipter titties out, pah.

1219
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,400
What breast size, never mind.

1220
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,000
What breast size you think what, never mind.

1221
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,000
D.

1222
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000
A D?

1223
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,480
I thought she was an A cup.

1224
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:27,280
Just super built like a tank.

1225
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:28,280
No.

1226
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,560
She got some D's.

1227
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,000
You can't have D's being that fucking built for battle.

1228
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,000
D's, huh?

1229
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,000
They'd be all muscle.

1230
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,960
And she got her titties fucking flexing right now.

1231
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,560
You guys don't even know.

1232
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:48,800
All right guys, well, we will be back for more Wise Kids You Know and more The Boys.

1233
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:49,800
Cool.

1234
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,800
Good night.

1235
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,920
All right.

1236
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:59,320
Well, you gave me an idea of what to go over this week.

1237
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:00,320
Swordography.

1238
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:01,320
No, not pornography.

1239
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:02,320
Damn.

1240
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,320
I'm sorry.

1241
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:04,320
I'm sorry.

1242
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:05,320
I've ruined it all for you.

1243
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:06,320
It's the only thing I love.

1244
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:11,240
And if I slur any of these words, it's because I've been out for a long time today.

1245
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:14,880
We are going to be looking at some of the artifacts of the DC universe.

1246
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:19,920
Where they come from, how they progress through the storylines, stuff like that.

1247
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:20,920
We got 10 of them.

1248
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:24,600
I might do five this week, five next week, depending on.

1249
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:25,600
Let's do it.

1250
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:26,600
Five, five.

1251
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:27,600
All right.

1252
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,960
So we'll start off number 10, the Helmet of Fate.

1253
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:35,200
So the Helmet of Fate was created by the Lord of the Order Naboo, along with two other mystical

1254
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:38,080
items, the Amulet of Anubis and the Cloak of Destiny.

1255
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:42,920
The three items combined would grant the wearer the power of Dr. Fate, the primary agent of

1256
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:44,640
the Lords of Order.

1257
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:49,840
So on New Earth in the 1900s, Naboo passed on these three magical objects to Kent Nelson,

1258
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:54,160
who became Dr. Fate, protector of the world from evil threats.

1259
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:58,300
During the Infinite Crisis, Spectre killed Naboo and the Helmet of Fate was left to stray

1260
00:58:58,300 --> 00:59:01,720
as Hector Hull, the latest Dr. Fate, also died.

1261
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:05,960
The helmet then started a journey across the entire DC universe in which it passed through

1262
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:11,680
the hands of several people, including Detective Chimp, Black Alice, Ibis the Invincible, Sargon

1263
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:14,240
the Sorcerer, and Zahreel.

1264
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,600
There's a bunch of people that possessed it at one point.

1265
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,280
Well, I've had it too.

1266
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,600
After this journey, the helmet finally reached the hands of Captain Marble, who tossed it

1267
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:26,800
across the universe in order to let Fate decide who would be chosen.

1268
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:32,040
It blows up a fucking like random alien city like, oh my god.

1269
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:35,600
Leaves a fucking crater.

1270
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:42,600
Let Fate choose who's going to have the role of Dr. Fate.

1271
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:44,720
As Fate would have it, the helmet landed on Earth.

1272
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:45,720
As Fate would have it.

1273
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:47,440
Is that in parentheses?

1274
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,680
As Fate would have it.

1275
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:54,160
The helmet landed on Earth again and it was picked up by Kent V. Nelson.

1276
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:55,160
Kent V. Nelson?

1277
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,160
Mm-hmm.

1278
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:57,620
Who's that?

1279
00:59:57,620 --> 01:00:01,600
The great nephew of the original Dr. Fate, Kent Nelson.

1280
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,640
Ain't that wild.

1281
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:07,080
The helmet provided Nelson the powers of Dr. Fate without the need of the Amulet of Anubis

1282
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:08,480
and the Cloak of Destiny.

1283
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:12,320
However, due to Nelson's lack of magical knowledge, he didn't use the helmet properly.

1284
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:17,080
Instead, he used it for personal gain until he was confronted by the demon Negol.

1285
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,080
Who?

1286
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:19,080
Real close.

1287
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,080
I know.

1288
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:21,080
N-E-G-A-L.

1289
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,080
It's close.

1290
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:23,080
It's so bad.

1291
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:26,080
I've seen those lines a lot.

1292
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:27,080
Shit.

1293
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:28,080
Negol.

1294
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:29,080
Not.

1295
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:35,720
Who sought to destroy any mortal who could carry the legacy of Dr. Fate?

1296
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:41,080
Nelson tried to get rid of the helmet to avoid Negol's wrath, but soon he learned that the

1297
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,160
helmet would always return to him, no matter what he did.

1298
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:45,160
It's Fate.

1299
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:46,160
I'm like, damn.

1300
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:47,160
And the light.

1301
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:48,160
Herbies.

1302
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:49,160
It always comes back.

1303
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:50,160
It always comes back.

1304
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,160
There's always the flare-up.

1305
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:58,680
In the last effort to be free of the curse, Nelson gave the helmet to a medium who tried

1306
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:02,320
to use the helmet drawing the wrath of Negol upon her.

1307
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:06,800
After a long struggle, Kent V. Nelson managed to recover the helmet and use it to become

1308
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:11,840
Dr. Fate and defeat Negol, although the events are not entirely clear.

1309
01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:16,380
So we don't know exactly what had happened.

1310
01:01:16,380 --> 01:01:21,440
On Prime Earth, after a group of sorcerer kings ascended to their cosmic positions as

1311
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:25,980
Lords of Order through Hecate, they would learn the immense magical powers that were

1312
01:01:25,980 --> 01:01:30,280
blessed with no loner could contain properly in human bodies.

1313
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:34,780
Nabu, one of these sorcerer kings turned Lords of Order, created the Helm of Fate in order

1314
01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:39,400
to bind himself to it, containing his existence inside of the helmet.

1315
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:43,840
Over the millennia, Nabu and his allies, the Egyptian gods, would choose brave champions

1316
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:48,000
to act with the Egyptian gods intending for them to accept the sacred duty of protecting

1317
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:53,760
the world, while Nabu himself intends for his bearers to act in his battle against Chaos.

1318
01:01:53,760 --> 01:02:00,360
Hopefully, those caused by the Lords of Chaos and their empowered agents.

1319
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:04,400
Kent Nelson was chosen by the latter and acted as Dr. Fate for years.

1320
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:09,840
In recent years, the surviving Egyptian gods would choose the champion Khalid Nasour to

1321
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,060
act as the next Dr. Fate due to his Pharaoh bloodline.

1322
01:02:13,060 --> 01:02:21,520
He would eventually come to act as an apprenticeship with Kent Nelson, his great uncle, and preparation

1323
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:22,520
for the role.

1324
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:27,680
Nabu would betray his two hosts, having been faced with constant war to the point of breaking

1325
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:33,640
and blaming magic itself for being the cause and plotted to allow the other kind to consume

1326
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:37,760
all of the magic while summoning the other Lords of Order to destroy magical realms and

1327
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,160
usurping Nelson's body and will.

1328
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:47,480
Eventually Khalid, Nelson, and Justice League Dark took all three sets of these people to

1329
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:50,400
stop him and his fellow Lords.

1330
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,720
The resulting events strained their relationship with his hosts.

1331
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:58,600
When Cersei has usurped the power of Hecate and her Injustice League Dark came into the

1332
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:00,440
conflict with Justice League Dark.

1333
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:06,080
Again, there's Injustice League and then there's the Injustice League Dark.

1334
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:08,320
So there's a mirror image even in this concept.

1335
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:10,120
See, we could have a better name.

1336
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:13,240
Injustice League Dark.

1337
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,000
Justice League Dark Injustice.

1338
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,000
Dark Injustice.

1339
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,120
That's even better.

1340
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:23,800
I know that's what I would have done, Dark Injustice, but I guess that's a double negative.

1341
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,720
So you're even darker than Injustice?

1342
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,080
Yeah, darker Injustice.

1343
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:29,080
Jesus.

1344
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:34,480
Khalid would appeal to Nabu's better nature in one his favor, Nabu making him the permanent

1345
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:39,160
acting Dr. Fate and conceding all control of his power to him.

1346
01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:44,520
Recently, Nabu's power spirit would abandon Khalid for reasons still yet unknown and in

1347
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:50,360
his place the Egyptian goddess known as Halhet would reside in the Helmet of Fate attempting

1348
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:54,880
to warn Khalid of the coming destruction of the Tower of Fate at the hands of Merlin and

1349
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:58,760
his pawn and a bid to control all magic on Earth.

1350
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:03,520
Unable to properly convey the urgency of the situation, she would instead send Wonder Woman

1351
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,320
to tell Khalid on Earth.

1352
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:13,000
So instead of at this point in DC's timeline, the helmet doesn't have Nabu on the inside

1353
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,280
of it anymore.

1354
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:17,040
Makes this other Egyptian goddess now.

1355
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,040
So they switched it around a little bit.

1356
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,240
How are you going to deal with that?

1357
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:24,080
Powers that it will grant you if you have the Helmet of Fate.

1358
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:29,880
A magical repository, the Helmet of Fate functions as a powerful receptacle of magical energies

1359
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:33,760
within its own right carrying powers beyond gods and is considered one of the most powerful

1360
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,660
artifacts ever created by a sorcerer's hand.

1361
01:04:37,660 --> 01:04:41,280
Those who bear the helmet are often considered to be among the most powerful sorcerers in

1362
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,760
existence while in use of it.

1363
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:48,040
Also the ability to eat ass like in pink eye.

1364
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,560
Although your mouth is covered too.

1365
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:51,560
You don't have to wear it.

1366
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:54,440
You just have to hold it.

1367
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,560
You just have to hold it.

1368
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,480
Magical energy manipulation.

1369
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,160
The Helmet of Fate allows the bearer the ability to manipulate various energies.

1370
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:05,960
Chiefly, the Helmet of Fate grants the bearer the power to manipulate and shape energy at

1371
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:10,880
will from even other power sources such as those who bear Hecate's Witchmark.

1372
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:17,400
The Helmet of Fate has also allowed the power to manipulate other energy forces such as

1373
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:21,960
Firestorm's Matrix or like the Firestorm Matrix itself.

1374
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:27,560
What allows Firestorm to transform into the what is it two souls becoming one.

1375
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:28,560
Flame on!

1376
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:30,680
Kinda ya.

1377
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,640
Witch power brimstone as well.

1378
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:34,640
Magical sight.

1379
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:38,520
The helmet grants the bearer the ability of magical sight making them able to virtually

1380
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:41,840
see all magic around them at all times.

1381
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:43,600
Even if you don't want to.

1382
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:44,880
Cosmic awareness.

1383
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:49,700
The helmet still bestows its bearer a higher level of awareness and knowledge compared

1384
01:05:49,700 --> 01:05:51,760
to that of other gods.

1385
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:53,360
And negation aura.

1386
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:57,700
The helmet of Fate bestows an aura that grants immunity towards certain powers such as those

1387
01:05:57,700 --> 01:06:03,160
originating from probability manipulation and disallows those with precognitive powers

1388
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:05,640
from discerning their next actions.

1389
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:10,320
So since you're Doctor Fate you basically get to control Fate partially.

1390
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,040
Kinda cool.

1391
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:19,400
And then there's associated powers depending on who is helping Doctor Fate at that time.

1392
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:21,960
Like different gods and stuff like that.

1393
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:22,960
Number 9.

1394
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:25,960
Cloak of Destiny.

1395
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:28,760
Its origin was Earth 2 or New Earth.

1396
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:31,600
The current owner on Prime Earth is Khalid Nasur.

1397
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:34,120
Earth 2 is Khalid Bin Hassan.

1398
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,520
Earth 16 is Khalid Nasur.

1399
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:39,140
Post Earth is still Doctor Fate.

1400
01:06:39,140 --> 01:06:43,160
And previous owners are Hector Hall and Kent B. Nelson.

1401
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:47,360
And it first appeared in More Fun Comics number 55 in May of 1940.

1402
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:48,360
More Funny Comics.

1403
01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:50,360
Same one as Spectre.

1404
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:51,360
Huh.

1405
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:52,360
1940.

1406
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:56,800
That's a long time ago.

1407
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:02,720
Basically it was a cloak that allowed with one of the three items that became Doctor

1408
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:03,720
Fate.

1409
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:06,280
The helmet, the cloak, and then the amulet.

1410
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:09,600
Basically it allows magical resistance.

1411
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:14,280
Basically it's a powerful vestiment considered both fireproof and able to resist and even

1412
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:18,520
suppress various strong magical forms such as those possessed by the Lords of Chaos.

1413
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:19,520
Okay.

1414
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,520
So kinda straightforward but still powerful nonetheless.

1415
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,680
I dunno it was a separate thing from the helmet.

1416
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:26,680
I thought the helmet was the whole ensemble.

1417
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:27,680
No.

1418
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:28,680
It made everything else.

1419
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:29,680
No.

1420
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:31,680
Cloak of Destiny and the amulet of Anubis.

1421
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,440
So you get a couple of things.

1422
01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:40,520
So see even Doctor Fate he has a cloak like Doctor Strange.

1423
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:41,520
Almost same concept.

1424
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:43,680
Probably not a sassy.

1425
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:44,680
Not a sassy.

1426
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:45,680
No.

1427
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:46,680
It doesn't have a mind of its own.

1428
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:50,360
But it was also created a lot earlier.

1429
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,760
1940.

1430
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:56,360
Number eight we have the Heart of Darkness.

1431
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,920
The official name for the item is the Heart of Darkness.

1432
01:07:59,920 --> 01:08:02,800
Its aliases are the Black Diamond of Eclipso.

1433
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:04,680
So that's our thing.

1434
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:05,760
Yep.

1435
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:10,320
It exists in Earth One, New Earth, Prime Earth, the Arrowverse and Stargirl.

1436
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:11,320
It's in the Arrowverse?

1437
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:12,320
Yeah.

1438
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:15,920
We're not going to cover that because I'm not going to cover the Arrowverse stuff.

1439
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:19,160
That's just its own thing that we want to forget some of it.

1440
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:22,640
So the lead designer of it was Darkseid.

1441
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,320
The place of creation was Apocalypse.

1442
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,520
Something that most people don't realize.

1443
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,560
The current owner is Bruce Gordon.

1444
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:33,320
And previous owners are Gene Lorne, Darkseid, Eclipso and Morpher.

1445
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:34,320
Bruce Gordon?

1446
01:08:34,320 --> 01:08:35,320
Mm-hmm.

1447
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:38,840
You're like Jim Cornel's relative?

1448
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:40,480
Must be.

1449
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:41,480
Oh.

1450
01:08:41,480 --> 01:08:47,200
It first appeared in House of Secrets, number 61, July of 1963.

1451
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:52,640
So on New Earth, basically the story goes millennia ago, it was cut, shaped and used

1452
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:56,840
as a tool to crush those who opposed Apocalypse's ruler Darkseid.

1453
01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:00,760
The diamond was later mystically tethered to the demonic agent of vengeance known as

1454
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:02,160
Eclipso.

1455
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:08,800
So Eclipso originally didn't need the diamond to be Eclipso since Eclipso was the creation

1456
01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:12,080
that existed before the Spectre.

1457
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:15,240
But Darkseid created this crystal itself.

1458
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:18,560
At some point, the black diamond was brought to Earth where it eventually came in.

1459
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:20,840
Must have been through a turn in his emo phase.

1460
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:21,840
Probably.

1461
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:22,840
I need my black crystal.

1462
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:24,340
My black crystal diamond.

1463
01:09:24,340 --> 01:09:25,340
My heart.

1464
01:09:25,340 --> 01:09:26,340
Black is my heart.

1465
01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:30,700
If I get eyeliner running, leave me alone.

1466
01:09:30,700 --> 01:09:34,960
You still understand, I'm Darkseid.

1467
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:43,540
His parents were super fucking supportive and upper middle class.

1468
01:09:43,540 --> 01:09:50,960
He started singing in there like, I wouldn't say- I'm so sorry!

1469
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:54,320
I'm so sorry, Mom!

1470
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,080
Go back to the early 2000s.

1471
01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,280
Steven Pot, was it written by Steven Pot, man?

1472
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:00,360
But his dark, his evil name is Darkseid.

1473
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:04,000
All right, so at some point,

1474
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,440
the Black Diamond was brought to Earth,

1475
01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:07,480
where it eventually became into the possession

1476
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,480
of scientist Bruce Gordon.

1477
01:10:09,480 --> 01:10:11,840
Eclipso's essence, trapped within the diamond,

1478
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,560
surged outward and used Gordon as a host

1479
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:16,520
for his corruptive influence.

1480
01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:18,480
Gordon fought for years to free himself

1481
01:10:18,480 --> 01:10:21,000
from Eclipso's control, but invariably,

1482
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,460
the Heart of Darkness always returned to his person.

1483
01:10:23,460 --> 01:10:25,880
Damn, say her face.

1484
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:26,720
Exactly.

1485
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:28,200
He fought so hard.

1486
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:29,600
At one point, the Heart of Darkness

1487
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,040
appeared to an insane gene, Lorraine,

1488
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:34,080
and convinced her to become the new human host

1489
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:35,460
for Eclipso's power.

1490
01:10:35,460 --> 01:10:38,560
This led to the Day of Vengeance issues

1491
01:10:38,560 --> 01:10:41,160
and stuff like that that we had with the Spectre.

1492
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:43,480
As a willing recipient of Eclipso's power,

1493
01:10:43,480 --> 01:10:45,360
Lorraine wore the Heart of Darkness

1494
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,320
as a broach upon her cowl.

1495
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,200
She lost it during Countdown to Infinite Crisis,

1496
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,360
and Bruce Gordon came back into possession of it

1497
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:55,600
during Countdown to Misery.

1498
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:56,720
Countdown to Misery?

1499
01:10:56,720 --> 01:10:57,560
Yes.

1500
01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,600
So like the minutes before I go to work?

1501
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:00,520
Yeah.

1502
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:04,760
On Prime Earth, when Kyla became an adult

1503
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:07,360
in the gem world, he killed his parents

1504
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:09,560
and received both of their blood powered

1505
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:11,360
by means of the black diamond.

1506
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:14,440
By virtue of his both having been born on an eclipse

1507
01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:17,040
and gaining his powers during one,

1508
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:21,120
Kyla was tied to the darkness of a total solar eclipse.

1509
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:25,200
He could not enslave those who were born

1510
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:28,480
with the blood power of their houses,

1511
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:32,200
so Lady Chandra of House Amethyst was able to defeat him

1512
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,520
by opening a portal and dragging him to the first home

1513
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:38,680
where he was trapped in the black diamond for centuries.

1514
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:40,760
Chandra hoped to destroy him, but she failed

1515
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,640
and the diamond survived with the essence of Kyla inside

1516
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:46,400
until he could find a physical host.

1517
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,100
The diamond ended up in hell.

1518
01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:50,640
In the early 11th century AD, it was taken to Earth

1519
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:55,640
by the Amazon exorcistos, Amazon exorcistos.

1520
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:57,920
That's a word I never thought I'd see.

1521
01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:02,120
It became more violent with it in her possession.

1522
01:12:02,120 --> 01:12:06,360
She eventually left in the Moorish city of Alwadi

1523
01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:11,360
where in 1043, Kyla's influence had turned a proud city

1524
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,680
into a place of crime and corruption,

1525
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:18,340
following the discovery of the Holy Grail

1526
01:12:18,340 --> 01:12:22,040
by the demon knights and a giant stronghold.

1527
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:24,020
This is a whole totally different series

1528
01:12:24,020 --> 01:12:28,560
compared to the normal timeline for DC.

1529
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:31,060
This is kind of like the before time.

1530
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:34,240
It was used to balance the effects of the diamond.

1531
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:38,120
Eventually the diamond was discovered by Dr. Henry Jekyll

1532
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:39,680
who used it to create a formula

1533
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,640
that transformed him into Mr. Hyde.

1534
01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:44,720
Yeah, I don't remember that in the book, but okay.

1535
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,600
Yes, I did read it when I was younger.

1536
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:50,600
Nearly a century later, the diamond had been housed

1537
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:53,520
on Sitino Island where it was protected by the ghost

1538
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:55,220
of all those who had died there.

1539
01:12:55,220 --> 01:12:57,480
It was discovered there by team seven

1540
01:12:57,480 --> 01:12:59,880
who used the black diamond's power in an effort

1541
01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:02,440
to counter a plan by Basilisk

1542
01:13:02,440 --> 01:13:04,040
against the metahumans and retrieve it.

1543
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:07,480
During this death throw became possessed by Kyla.

1544
01:13:07,480 --> 01:13:09,240
After he was freed, the diamond was hidden

1545
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:11,280
in the black room.

1546
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:12,800
The booty hole somebody.

1547
01:13:12,800 --> 01:13:15,280
The black room, it was shoved up there.

1548
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:17,320
It was hooped up there.

1549
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:19,120
Just fucking fisted up that ass.

1550
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:23,120
Years later, Catwoman was contracted

1551
01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:25,840
to infiltrate the black room and steal the diamond,

1552
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:27,840
but she became possessed by it.

1553
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:30,400
After retrieving it safely, it was delivered

1554
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:33,920
to Alex Montez who after became possessed

1555
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:34,880
by Eclipso himself.

1556
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,320
Alex Montez, maybe it's Alex Montez.

1557
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:38,160
Hey, Montez.

1558
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,960
Number seven, the Sword of Night.

1559
01:13:42,960 --> 01:13:44,160
I'm losing my voice right now.

1560
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:45,320
I can tell.

1561
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,520
Have you ever heard of the Sword of Light?

1562
01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:49,040
Or Sword of Night, sorry.

1563
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:50,560
Sword of Light, Sword of Night.

1564
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,080
Sword of Mid-afternoon.

1565
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:53,920
Yeah.

1566
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,200
Basically it is in almost all the universes.

1567
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:01,720
So Earth one, new Earth, Prime Earth, Future State,

1568
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:03,040
and the Arrowverse two.

1569
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:04,120
Damn.

1570
01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:05,600
Arrowverse got everything.

1571
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:06,440
Yeah.

1572
01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:07,260
Except for good ratings.

1573
01:14:07,260 --> 01:14:08,100
Yes.

1574
01:14:08,100 --> 01:14:12,920
First appeared in Showcase number 82, May of 1969.

1575
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:15,520
Its previous owner was Night Master.

1576
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:16,520
Oh, so it's his sword?

1577
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:17,360
Mm-hmm.

1578
01:14:17,360 --> 01:14:19,200
Is it still his sword?

1579
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:24,120
I think he had that in the Shadow Pact comic book series.

1580
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:26,600
Well, the current owner is Detective Chimp.

1581
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:27,680
Wow.

1582
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:29,480
So Detective Chimp has the sword.

1583
01:14:29,480 --> 01:14:32,240
That's wild because one of the latent abilities

1584
01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:35,320
was that if you kept it pristine,

1585
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:37,800
because Night Master was an old man

1586
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:39,920
during the Day of Vengeance,

1587
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:43,720
and then the first issue of Shadow Pact,

1588
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:44,960
the fact that he had,

1589
01:14:44,960 --> 01:14:46,400
because if he hadn't needed to get a chance

1590
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:48,840
to really sharpen the sword or anything,

1591
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:51,000
so he had just used it off the rack

1592
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,440
because it was too late, it wasn't enough time.

1593
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:55,960
But when the battle was over and everything,

1594
01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:58,360
he was cleaning it, and the more he cleaned it,

1595
01:14:58,360 --> 01:14:59,760
the younger he got.

1596
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:01,360
It was back in his mid-30s.

1597
01:15:01,360 --> 01:15:02,200
Yeah.

1598
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:04,080
By the time it was sharpened up again.

1599
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,240
So that was pretty cool.

1600
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:08,640
So with the sword, you can have an ability

1601
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:10,000
called swordsmanship, where the sword

1602
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,560
basically fights on its own.

1603
01:15:11,560 --> 01:15:13,040
Where you don't have to even know how to fight.

1604
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:15,080
It just makes you fight.

1605
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:18,560
Danger sense, the ability to warn him of danger.

1606
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:21,160
Compelled truth, make someone speak the truth.

1607
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:23,400
Like the last time you just gotta stab him with it.

1608
01:15:23,400 --> 01:15:24,240
Tell me the truth.

1609
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:25,080
Ah!

1610
01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:28,400
Illusion negation, the sword will dissolve

1611
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:29,680
any illusion it touches.

1612
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:32,840
And the anti-aging aura.

1613
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:33,680
Oh, there it is.

1614
01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:37,160
The longer he maintains control of the sword,

1615
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:39,000
the vimaster will not age.

1616
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:40,160
So there you go.

1617
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:43,200
Basically, if he, whenever he wanted to retire, right?

1618
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:44,920
Like let's say I wanted to live for a few hundred years

1619
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,640
and be a hero, and then like I just got tired of it.

1620
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:50,640
I just put it up in the attic, and I'll just die of old age.

1621
01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,360
And if I have second thoughts, I'll just be like,

1622
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:55,200
oh, let me go clean my sword real quick.

1623
01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:57,480
You don't have that second thought,

1624
01:15:57,480 --> 01:15:59,160
like I got time to die.

1625
01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:00,280
You're on your deathbed.

1626
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:01,400
Yeah.

1627
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:03,240
I'm trying to get home real quick to fix my sword,

1628
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:06,320
because I lost my wife, my kids are fine,

1629
01:16:06,320 --> 01:16:07,760
they're all grown up and you're there.

1630
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:09,280
Like I gotta do something with my life.

1631
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:10,440
And right before I get up to the attic,

1632
01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:13,080
I have a fucking stroke halfway up the staircase.

1633
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:13,920
No!

1634
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:18,960
Number six is the Starheart.

1635
01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:20,360
Its official name is Starheart,

1636
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:22,680
but its aliases are the green flame of life

1637
01:16:22,680 --> 01:16:24,400
or the emerald flame of life.

1638
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,360
It exists on Earth two, Earth one,

1639
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:29,080
whatever it was like red.

1640
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:31,440
Just fucking whatever if you like with people.

1641
01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:35,680
The lead designer was the guardians of the universe.

1642
01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:37,720
Originally more than four billion years ago,

1643
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:38,720
the guardians of the universe

1644
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:40,520
trapped all random magic energy

1645
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:42,560
inside of Earth one's universe

1646
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:44,640
and banished it to Earth two.

1647
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:45,480
Duh nah.

1648
01:16:46,720 --> 01:16:48,280
And the additional designers,

1649
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:50,760
which were Chang, Billings and Alan Scott.

1650
01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:52,680
The current owner is Alan Scott.

1651
01:16:52,680 --> 01:16:53,920
What is it?

1652
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:55,640
It is the power battery.

1653
01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:56,480
Uh oh.

1654
01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:59,880
First appeared in July, 1940.

1655
01:16:59,880 --> 01:17:00,720
The power battery?

1656
01:17:00,720 --> 01:17:02,080
In all American comics.

1657
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:05,040
So basically the history of it.

1658
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:07,920
Oh wait that fight, that was just a battery?

1659
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:09,320
I thought he had a ring.

1660
01:17:09,320 --> 01:17:12,920
It was, it's a different setup

1661
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,760
than what green lanterns, normal green lanterns.

1662
01:17:15,760 --> 01:17:16,880
His weakness was wood?

1663
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:17,700
Yes.

1664
01:17:17,700 --> 01:17:18,540
Jesus.

1665
01:17:18,540 --> 01:17:19,380
Yes.

1666
01:17:19,380 --> 01:17:20,480
So three and a half billion years ago,

1667
01:17:20,480 --> 01:17:22,840
a humanoid race from the world of Maltus

1668
01:17:22,840 --> 01:17:24,680
sought to bring order to the stars.

1669
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:27,560
An offshoot of the race later became known

1670
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,120
as the guardians of the universe.

1671
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:31,000
They sought to remove magic from the universe

1672
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:35,000
and laid siege to the necromantic forces of the cosmos.

1673
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,280
Necromantic?

1674
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:37,120
Yeah.

1675
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:37,960
Just fucking dead bodies?

1676
01:17:37,960 --> 01:17:38,780
Mm-hmm.

1677
01:17:38,780 --> 01:17:39,620
We gotta stop these fucking freaks.

1678
01:17:39,620 --> 01:17:41,080
Yeah.

1679
01:17:41,080 --> 01:17:43,200
You see what they're doing out there?

1680
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:44,320
Wouldn't blame them either.

1681
01:17:44,320 --> 01:17:46,120
Like if I later on the planet just saw people

1682
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:49,120
with fucking dead bodies, I was burning this motherfucker down.

1683
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:53,060
The war was costly on both sides.

1684
01:17:53,060 --> 01:17:53,900
The last time.

1685
01:17:53,900 --> 01:17:55,960
Yeah, every dead body was getting fucking ravaged.

1686
01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:57,560
After all we've changed.

1687
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:00,960
That would be fucking psychologically debilitating

1688
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:02,440
for your team, you know?

1689
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:03,280
Yeah.

1690
01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:06,960
Like your fucking mates are just getting fucking,

1691
01:18:06,960 --> 01:18:08,080
fucking turned out.

1692
01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:10,160
Like the Horea?

1693
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:11,720
It's like, oh my God.

1694
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:13,040
They got Timmy.

1695
01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:16,760
The last to fall was the powerful Empire of Tears,

1696
01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:18,740
finally subdued by the guardians

1697
01:18:18,740 --> 01:18:21,080
on the tomb world of Yosmult.

1698
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:22,080
The tomb world?

1699
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,240
The tomb world.

1700
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:25,760
They had a whole fucking world of just tombs

1701
01:18:25,760 --> 01:18:26,600
that they were fucking?

1702
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:27,800
That's why it's necromantic.

1703
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:29,400
Good God.

1704
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:32,280
After the wars, all of the stray mystical energies

1705
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:33,960
in the universe were gathered and bound

1706
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:36,400
in an orb called the Star Heart.

1707
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:39,280
This collective force was hidden in the heart of a star

1708
01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,840
and grew in power and eventually gained self-awareness

1709
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:43,760
as the green flame of life.

1710
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:45,800
So it actually gained sentience.

1711
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:47,120
I don't know if that would be like, just like,

1712
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:50,360
I, what, I, yeah, yeah, just for you screaming,

1713
01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:51,200
I'm in the sun.

1714
01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:54,140
Like, well, what would like, that'd be weird.

1715
01:18:54,140 --> 01:18:55,960
Like, what would just be like, just like,

1716
01:18:55,960 --> 01:18:58,120
but that's not the same way like for like us as human beings.

1717
01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:00,760
Like when did I first gain sentience, you know?

1718
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:01,600
Yeah.

1719
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:03,280
One day you're just like, you're just drifting through life

1720
01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:04,600
and you're just like, you're just like,

1721
01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:06,040
like a fucking ringing in your ears.

1722
01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:07,080
Like, what the fuck?

1723
01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,000
What, what is going on?

1724
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:11,480
You know what I mean?

1725
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:13,000
No, no.

1726
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,040
Or if you're what's his name.

1727
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,680
I want the blissful, blissful ignorance.

1728
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:19,660
Or if you're what's his name, that the first,

1729
01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:26,280
the first roadie from Iron Man, Martin.

1730
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:27,360
What, Terrence Howard?

1731
01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:28,320
Terrence Howard.

1732
01:19:28,320 --> 01:19:29,480
I was thinking Martin Lawrence.

1733
01:19:29,480 --> 01:19:32,800
But yes, Terrence, yeah, Terrence Howard,

1734
01:19:32,800 --> 01:19:34,720
where he remembers what it was like

1735
01:19:34,720 --> 01:19:36,280
when he was still in his mom's womb.

1736
01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:37,120
It's a damn lie.

1737
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:38,400
He's full of shit.

1738
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:41,280
He gained sentience way before.

1739
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,400
He don't, I didn't, fully.

1740
01:19:43,400 --> 01:19:44,520
I was a sperm in my mouth.

1741
01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:48,040
I fought through, through the ovaries

1742
01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:49,080
and I made it to the eggs.

1743
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:49,920
So I thought you lied to me.

1744
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:51,440
You sack of shit.

1745
01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:53,360
I call bullshit on that 100%.

1746
01:19:53,360 --> 01:19:54,200
Oh yes.

1747
01:19:55,360 --> 01:19:56,200
Though the guardians,

1748
01:19:56,200 --> 01:19:57,480
that shit would be mentally taxing.

1749
01:19:57,480 --> 01:19:59,760
You'd lose your fucking mind in the womb.

1750
01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:02,200
Where he's like, remember this, remember this.

1751
01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:04,440
Like you're just trapped in there.

1752
01:20:04,440 --> 01:20:06,200
First of all, if you had sentience

1753
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,640
as a fucking defenseless toddler,

1754
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:10,160
you would lose, you'd go insane.

1755
01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:11,560
You can't pick yourself up.

1756
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:13,840
You can't feed yourself.

1757
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:15,160
You shit yourself constantly.

1758
01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:16,000
You're like fuck.

1759
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,440
Your head's too fucking heavy.

1760
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:21,280
Like you would fucking go insane.

1761
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,880
It'd be a fucking biological prison.

1762
01:20:23,880 --> 01:20:27,000
That's why we don't get sentience until we're more capable.

1763
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:28,800
Or at least self-awareness.

1764
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:30,800
Probably yes, yes, true self-awareness.

1765
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:33,040
Like if you were just like that fucking capable,

1766
01:20:33,040 --> 01:20:34,800
you'd lose your fucking mind.

1767
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:36,280
You can't even articulate,

1768
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,200
like you're going fucking insane.

1769
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,800
Now you might remember like flashes and blips

1770
01:20:40,800 --> 01:20:42,240
from that time period,

1771
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,400
but you're not gonna remember everything

1772
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:45,680
from that time period.

1773
01:20:45,680 --> 01:20:47,200
Like self-awareness is like a fucking like,

1774
01:20:47,200 --> 01:20:48,680
just like a car crash.

1775
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:49,520
Like one second you're like,

1776
01:20:49,520 --> 01:20:50,880
oh, then you're like, what the fuck?

1777
01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:52,360
What's my life even fucking mean?

1778
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:54,480
And that usually hits around three or four.

1779
01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:55,960
Where it's like, huh?

1780
01:20:55,960 --> 01:20:57,160
My name when I was 22.

1781
01:20:58,040 --> 01:20:58,880
I'm like, huh?

1782
01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:00,600
No, I also.

1783
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,920
All right, though the guardians were powerful,

1784
01:21:03,920 --> 01:21:05,120
the force of magic was something

1785
01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:06,880
that could not be contained forever.

1786
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:08,080
In preparation for this day,

1787
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:10,360
the Starheart wheeled a small portion of itself

1788
01:21:10,360 --> 01:21:13,680
to travel through the universe to fulfill its destiny.

1789
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:14,840
As it traveled through space,

1790
01:21:14,840 --> 01:21:16,480
the piece of the Starheart gathered debris

1791
01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:19,960
over the centuries until it resembled a meteor,

1792
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,320
which is what Alan Scott found.

1793
01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:22,160
Okay.

1794
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:24,400
So 2000 years ago, the Starheart fragment

1795
01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:26,520
found its way to earth and after fusing

1796
01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:28,680
with the evil spirit of Yalan Guru,

1797
01:21:28,680 --> 01:21:31,600
crashed as a meteor in China.

1798
01:21:31,600 --> 01:21:33,560
A man named Chang eventually shaped

1799
01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:35,360
the meteor into a lantern.

1800
01:21:35,360 --> 01:21:39,800
His grandson gave it to 1940 named Manny Chang.

1801
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:43,040
That's 1940, all right.

1802
01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:49,880
His grandson gave it to Kublai Khan,

1803
01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:54,200
who gifted it to Marco.

1804
01:21:54,200 --> 01:21:55,040
Marco?

1805
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:56,240
Yes.

1806
01:21:56,240 --> 01:21:57,080
Not even a joke, yes.

1807
01:21:57,080 --> 01:21:58,320
Yeah.

1808
01:21:58,320 --> 01:22:01,960
Centuries later, an insane lamp maker named Billings

1809
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,880
shaped it into a train lantern.

1810
01:22:03,880 --> 01:22:06,120
In 1940, this lamp was found by Alan Scott,

1811
01:22:06,120 --> 01:22:08,480
who used its incredible incomprehensible power

1812
01:22:08,480 --> 01:22:11,000
to become the first green lantern on earth for centuries,

1813
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,320
or on earth in centuries.

1814
01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:14,920
Like if it was like real life basis,

1815
01:22:14,920 --> 01:22:17,360
he probably just died of radiation poisoning.

1816
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:18,200
Yeah.

1817
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:19,600
He's like, oh fuck.

1818
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:20,640
He's like, am I a superhero, Doc?

1819
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:22,640
Like, no, you have stage nine cancer.

1820
01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:24,720
Like, oh.

1821
01:22:24,720 --> 01:22:25,560
Oh.

1822
01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:30,040
Just like the news, oh.

1823
01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:30,880
Oh.

1824
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:34,760
You literally have three minutes to live, sir.

1825
01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:35,600
Like, oh.

1826
01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:39,440
But all that crime I fought, like that was a hallucinations.

1827
01:22:39,440 --> 01:22:40,440
Those were all dudes.

1828
01:22:40,440 --> 01:22:43,840
The police found you in a park butt naked fighting an owl.

1829
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:47,640
You were losing.

1830
01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:50,920
When it was an owl man.

1831
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:51,760
All right.

1832
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:56,120
So decades later, an alien named Zelaz stole the Star Heart

1833
01:22:56,120 --> 01:22:58,640
and raised its beloved Mala from the dead.

1834
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:00,920
1940s already.

1835
01:23:00,920 --> 01:23:02,720
Mala, Mala, Mala.

1836
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:07,160
Opposed by Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, and Green Arrow,

1837
01:23:07,160 --> 01:23:09,080
Zelaz retreated into the Star Heart

1838
01:23:09,080 --> 01:23:10,880
and awakened Mala inside of it.

1839
01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:13,320
Mala became the Star Heart's guardian.

1840
01:23:13,320 --> 01:23:15,440
The original consciousness of the Star Heart

1841
01:23:15,440 --> 01:23:17,960
later reawakened and destroyed her.

1842
01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:20,640
It grew in power and sought to control Alan Scott's life,

1843
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:22,440
making him a young man again.

1844
01:23:22,440 --> 01:23:24,400
Scott and the Mystic Green Lantern,

1845
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:27,360
God, I'm gonna fuck this up.

1846
01:23:27,360 --> 01:23:29,840
Torque Mata, Torque Mata.

1847
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:30,920
Close enough.

1848
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:33,960
Managed to contain some of the Star Heart's evil energy,

1849
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:36,960
but the Star Heart itself escaped.

1850
01:23:36,960 --> 01:23:39,040
After the events known as Zero Hour,

1851
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:41,120
the ring and the lantern were depowered

1852
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:44,840
and the green flame dwell within Scott's body.

1853
01:23:44,840 --> 01:23:47,360
More recently, the Star Heart resurfaced in another realm

1854
01:23:47,360 --> 01:23:50,680
from which it took control over Scott's son, Obsidian,

1855
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:53,480
in an effort to steal back the power from Alan.

1856
01:23:53,480 --> 01:23:56,080
By sacrificing his own Star Heart's powers,

1857
01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:58,560
Alan's daughter, Jade, defeated the entity.

1858
01:23:58,560 --> 01:24:01,760
The green flame now makes up Alan Scott's entire body

1859
01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:04,560
and uses the power to battle evil as a signal.

1860
01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,600
Wood is his only weakness.

1861
01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:09,920
How the fuck is wood the weakness of fucking fire?

1862
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:11,840
Someone explain that to me.

1863
01:24:11,840 --> 01:24:13,520
My God, a forest, I'll never win.

1864
01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:15,600
What the fuck do you mean?

1865
01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:18,640
Are you talking about your fucking matches

1866
01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:20,400
or a bunch of fucking like toothpicks?

1867
01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:21,240
I said no.

1868
01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:22,080
Yes.

1869
01:24:24,080 --> 01:24:26,400
All right, so on Prime Earth,

1870
01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:30,600
which is what the world that we're on in DC comics now,

1871
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:33,320
the story is a little different.

1872
01:24:33,320 --> 01:24:36,360
So millennia ago, in an attempt to become,

1873
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:37,680
to bring order to the universe,

1874
01:24:37,680 --> 01:24:39,800
the guardians of the galaxy gathered all of ancient

1875
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:42,040
wild magic of the cosmos and battle the evil.

1876
01:24:42,040 --> 01:24:44,000
They gathered ancient wild magic of the cosmos

1877
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:45,840
and bound it within the heart of a star,

1878
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:49,480
instead of into a, just a one little bundle of something.

1879
01:24:49,480 --> 01:24:51,880
Now it's literally just the heart of a star.

1880
01:24:51,880 --> 01:24:53,880
Though they believed it contained,

1881
01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:56,720
though they believed it contained within the star,

1882
01:24:56,720 --> 01:24:58,520
the cosmic heart of magic grew

1883
01:24:58,520 --> 01:25:01,360
and develops in dance and loneliness.

1884
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:02,200
Because you know.

1885
01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:03,480
Play shit out here.

1886
01:25:03,480 --> 01:25:04,320
If energy's-

1887
01:25:04,320 --> 01:25:05,720
You can only jack off for so long.

1888
01:25:05,720 --> 01:25:06,560
Hehehehehe.

1889
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:09,360
Uh, which is very,

1890
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:12,360
if its energies became aligned with willpower,

1891
01:25:12,360 --> 01:25:13,200
it just, raw.

1892
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,640
Like a carpal tunnel from just fucking jacking.

1893
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:19,320
Basically to the emerald portion of the emotional

1894
01:25:19,320 --> 01:25:21,320
electromagnetic spectrum,

1895
01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:22,920
seeking to end its isolation,

1896
01:25:22,920 --> 01:25:24,520
the star heart willed a portion of itself

1897
01:25:24,520 --> 01:25:27,040
out of its fiery prison.

1898
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:27,880
Mads.com.

1899
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:28,720
Mm-hmm.

1900
01:25:28,720 --> 01:25:29,560
He's on Tinder.

1901
01:25:29,560 --> 01:25:30,400
Just fucking swathing.

1902
01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:31,240
It's on EBRD.

1903
01:25:31,240 --> 01:25:32,080
It's on Grindr.

1904
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:34,160
And then he swathe across on Alan Moore,

1905
01:25:34,160 --> 01:25:35,000
like, he's like,

1906
01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:36,640
he swathe across on Alan Moore, like,

1907
01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:37,480
oh, hello.

1908
01:25:37,480 --> 01:25:38,320
Hehehehehehe.

1909
01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:39,160
Oh, it's you, sir.

1910
01:25:39,160 --> 01:25:40,400
What's his name, Alan what?

1911
01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:41,240
Alan Scott.

1912
01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:43,920
Alan Scott, he's like, well, hello there.

1913
01:25:43,920 --> 01:25:45,200
However, over time,

1914
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:47,920
the sentience of the star heart had potentially,

1915
01:25:47,920 --> 01:25:50,960
partially leeched into the star's corona.

1916
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:52,920
Where separated from the rest of itself,

1917
01:25:52,920 --> 01:25:55,400
its isolation turned into bitterness and rage.

1918
01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:57,280
Whenever the star heart's fragment escaped

1919
01:25:57,280 --> 01:26:00,440
in the star's gravity on its trajectory towards Earth,

1920
01:26:00,440 --> 01:26:01,960
a portion of the corona followed,

1921
01:26:01,960 --> 01:26:03,960
becoming the crimson flame.

1922
01:26:03,960 --> 01:26:05,080
Hmm.

1923
01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:08,040
In July of the year nine, sorry.

1924
01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,920
In July of the year 960,

1925
01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:11,600
I was gonna say 1960,

1926
01:26:11,600 --> 01:26:13,560
the Song dynasty was born in China.

1927
01:26:14,480 --> 01:26:16,080
In October of the same year,

1928
01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:18,320
the star heart fell to Earth as a ball of metal,

1929
01:26:18,320 --> 01:26:20,760
where it was discovered by a Chinese mystic.

1930
01:26:20,760 --> 01:26:22,680
The heart told this mystic,

1931
01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:24,600
three times shall I flame green.

1932
01:26:25,560 --> 01:26:27,000
The first one, big English.

1933
01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:29,920
The first to bring death,

1934
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:31,560
the second to bring life,

1935
01:26:31,560 --> 01:26:34,120
the third to bring power.

1936
01:26:34,120 --> 01:26:37,000
The same night, call me on number three, I'll be back.

1937
01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:39,440
The same night the mystic forged

1938
01:26:39,440 --> 01:26:41,120
the strange metal into a lamp.

1939
01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:44,000
Two hours after this villagers killed him.

1940
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:44,840
What the fuck is that?

1941
01:26:44,840 --> 01:26:47,400
That would have made it into a weapon, not a fucking lamp.

1942
01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:48,240
I need a lamp.

1943
01:26:48,240 --> 01:26:49,080
You know what I mean?

1944
01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:49,920
Like what the fuck?

1945
01:26:49,920 --> 01:26:51,800
It was glowing so he needed a fucking see, okay?

1946
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:52,760
I can't believe that.

1947
01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:53,600
Yeah.

1948
01:26:55,720 --> 01:26:57,760
The same night the mystic forged the strange metal

1949
01:26:57,760 --> 01:26:58,600
into a lamp.

1950
01:26:58,600 --> 01:26:59,440
Two hours after this,

1951
01:26:59,440 --> 01:27:01,320
the villagers killed the mystic with the lamp.

1952
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,400
And I'll die of a plague.

1953
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:03,360
Like I'm beat.

1954
01:27:03,360 --> 01:27:04,840
He just beat him across the face with it.

1955
01:27:04,840 --> 01:27:06,080
It's just like 80 pounds.

1956
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:09,720
The lamp would then be passed from civilization

1957
01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:10,800
to civilization,

1958
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:13,280
neither staying in the same place for very long.

1959
01:27:13,280 --> 01:27:15,520
Around a millennium later in April, 1940,

1960
01:27:15,520 --> 01:27:17,560
the lamp was given a second,

1961
01:27:17,560 --> 01:27:19,960
given a scrap to a mental patient

1962
01:27:19,960 --> 01:27:22,160
in Arkham Asylum named Billy,

1963
01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:23,880
who forged the lamp into a lantern

1964
01:27:23,880 --> 01:27:26,440
and in turn gifted it to his fellow

1965
01:27:26,440 --> 01:27:28,960
deviancy wing inmate, Alan Scott.

1966
01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,960
Wait, Alan Scott was in a mental institution?

1967
01:27:30,960 --> 01:27:34,960
That's why I said this is a totally different,

1968
01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:36,920
this is prime earth.

1969
01:27:36,920 --> 01:27:38,920
That night Alan heard the voice of the lantern

1970
01:27:38,920 --> 01:27:41,520
out of the words, we bring life.

1971
01:27:41,520 --> 01:27:43,400
He's like, is this the voices of my head

1972
01:27:43,400 --> 01:27:45,360
or is this into their voice?

1973
01:27:45,360 --> 01:27:47,640
Though he mistook it for a dream.

1974
01:27:47,640 --> 01:27:50,720
Subsequently, Billy was taken by a hospital staff

1975
01:27:50,720 --> 01:27:54,640
and subjected to a neurological procedure

1976
01:27:54,640 --> 01:27:57,680
that left him cheered but broken and incoherent.

1977
01:27:57,680 --> 01:27:59,440
That old lobotomy.

1978
01:27:59,440 --> 01:28:01,440
Afterwards, Alan's journals were confiscated

1979
01:28:01,440 --> 01:28:04,120
by the asylum staff and Alan forced to undergo

1980
01:28:04,120 --> 01:28:05,880
electroshock therapy.

1981
01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:08,800
That night with the aid of sympathetic staff members,

1982
01:28:08,800 --> 01:28:12,680
the entire deviancy wing of Arkham Asylum escaped

1983
01:28:12,680 --> 01:28:14,640
and Scott fled out west taking employment

1984
01:28:14,640 --> 01:28:16,280
as a railway engineer.

1985
01:28:16,280 --> 01:28:18,600
Okay, that was like, thanks a lot.

1986
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,040
I really appreciate you got him all good.

1987
01:28:20,040 --> 01:28:20,880
Thank you.

1988
01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:22,800
Taking the lantern with him.

1989
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:24,960
Two years later, Alan brought the lantern onboard

1990
01:28:24,960 --> 01:28:28,320
a train trip with lover, Jimmy Hinton.

1991
01:28:28,320 --> 01:28:29,160
So now he's gay.

1992
01:28:30,560 --> 01:28:31,400
I assumed he was.

1993
01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:32,480
That's where it began.

1994
01:28:34,280 --> 01:28:35,960
As a result of sabotage by a competitor,

1995
01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:37,720
man's outgrinder.

1996
01:28:37,720 --> 01:28:38,560
After all.

1997
01:28:40,560 --> 01:28:42,840
Sabotage by a competitor aiming to win out

1998
01:28:42,840 --> 01:28:45,360
over Scott in a bidding war for a contract.

1999
01:28:45,360 --> 01:28:47,200
The train was derailed resulting in the deaths

2000
01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:49,760
of everybody on board, including Alan and Jimmy.

2001
01:28:49,760 --> 01:28:51,520
Damn, not Jimmy.

2002
01:28:51,520 --> 01:28:53,880
Due to Dr. Manhattan's influence,

2003
01:28:53,880 --> 01:28:55,680
in a previous iteration of the timeline,

2004
01:28:55,680 --> 01:28:57,880
Alan died, unable to reach the lantern.

2005
01:28:57,880 --> 01:28:59,560
It was later pulled from the wreckage.

2006
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:03,560
In December of 2017, the lamp goes on a scrap pile

2007
01:29:03,560 --> 01:29:06,880
and is eventually found by the present day Johnny Thunder.

2008
01:29:06,880 --> 01:29:07,720
And an abandoned factory.

2009
01:29:07,720 --> 01:29:08,560
That's a good name right there.

2010
01:29:08,560 --> 01:29:10,840
That's my poor name right there, Johnny Thunder.

2011
01:29:10,840 --> 01:29:11,920
You know who Johnny Thunder is, right?

2012
01:29:11,920 --> 01:29:12,920
I have no idea.

2013
01:29:12,920 --> 01:29:14,720
In front part of the JSA.

2014
01:29:14,720 --> 01:29:16,120
He's a porn star.

2015
01:29:16,120 --> 01:29:16,960
Johnny Thunder.

2016
01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:18,800
Without the green lantern,

2017
01:29:18,800 --> 01:29:21,880
the Justice Society never formed.

2018
01:29:21,880 --> 01:29:23,840
Eventually, however, the timeline was corrected

2019
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:26,080
and as Alan died, a green light emerged

2020
01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:28,080
from the lantern, returning him to life,

2021
01:29:28,080 --> 01:29:30,080
healing his wounds and gaining him the ability

2022
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:31,720
of the green lanterns.

2023
01:29:31,720 --> 01:29:33,720
Yeah, so happy ending.

2024
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:34,680
Where's Jimmy at?

2025
01:29:34,680 --> 01:29:35,520
Yeah.

2026
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:36,680
I'm listening, Jimmy.

2027
01:29:36,680 --> 01:29:40,200
So some of the powers that the Starhart grants.

2028
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:41,520
Basically, it allows phasing.

2029
01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:44,560
The ring permits its wielder to walk through obstacles

2030
01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:46,600
as if they were a ghost.

2031
01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:49,120
Metal manipulation, the wielder will gain the mastery

2032
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:52,080
about all metals and be immune to it.

2033
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:54,320
Except for wood, apparently.

2034
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:55,600
Eternal youth.

2035
01:29:55,600 --> 01:29:58,000
The artifacts mystical properties also imbue one

2036
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:02,160
with the seemingly vastness in the extended lifespan,

2037
01:30:02,160 --> 01:30:03,960
decelerating the aging process.

2038
01:30:03,960 --> 01:30:05,480
Flight allows one to fly.

2039
01:30:06,360 --> 01:30:09,720
Electric constructs, or energy constructs, sorry.

2040
01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:12,400
So basically what a green lantern normally would do.

2041
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,560
Protective force fields.

2042
01:30:14,560 --> 01:30:17,600
He basically seemed to have a relatively permanent

2043
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:20,160
personal force field that protected him from bullets

2044
01:30:20,160 --> 01:30:23,080
and the like, described as an invernability to metal.

2045
01:30:23,080 --> 01:30:23,920
Hmm.

2046
01:30:24,760 --> 01:30:26,600
Matter and energy manipulation.

2047
01:30:27,480 --> 01:30:29,040
Energy projection.

2048
01:30:29,040 --> 01:30:30,320
Reality alteration.

2049
01:30:30,320 --> 01:30:33,880
So basically it can change reality to a limited degree.

2050
01:30:35,120 --> 01:30:36,360
Teleportation.

2051
01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:37,480
Hypnosis.

2052
01:30:37,480 --> 01:30:38,320
Time travel.

2053
01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:42,560
Once the Starhart opened a time portal by 24 hours,

2054
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:44,840
the ring needed the combined power of Alan Scott

2055
01:30:44,840 --> 01:30:47,640
and all of the Infinity and Corporation members

2056
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:50,520
to return the latter ones to their own time.

2057
01:30:50,520 --> 01:30:52,000
Illusion casting.

2058
01:30:52,000 --> 01:30:53,200
Invisibility.

2059
01:30:53,200 --> 01:30:54,440
Antelepathy.

2060
01:30:54,440 --> 01:30:55,880
It's one weakness.

2061
01:30:55,880 --> 01:30:57,120
Wood.

2062
01:30:57,120 --> 01:31:00,880
The ring is ineffective against wood and plants.

2063
01:31:00,880 --> 01:31:02,200
So poison ivy.

2064
01:31:02,200 --> 01:31:03,040
Weird.

2065
01:31:03,040 --> 01:31:03,880
Yeah.

2066
01:31:03,880 --> 01:31:05,800
The ring must be recharged in the Starhart

2067
01:31:05,800 --> 01:31:08,240
every 24 hours to keep its potency.

2068
01:31:08,240 --> 01:31:10,520
And the abilities of the ring are powered

2069
01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:12,320
by the willpower of its wielder.

2070
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:15,880
So technically it's like three weaknesses,

2071
01:31:15,880 --> 01:31:18,840
but the biggest, yeah, you can't fight off a tree.

2072
01:31:18,840 --> 01:31:22,080
Or what was it, somebody said that you could kill

2073
01:31:22,080 --> 01:31:24,920
every green lantern with the number two pencil?

2074
01:31:24,920 --> 01:31:26,400
It's yellow and wood.

2075
01:31:26,400 --> 01:31:27,240
Oh yeah.

2076
01:31:28,640 --> 01:31:30,920
And we'll do the last five next week.

2077
01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:33,320
Otherwise it'll take way too long.

2078
01:31:33,320 --> 01:31:34,160
Goodnight, Rek.

2079
01:31:36,160 --> 01:31:39,200
Alrighty, and last thing we got for today is some Reddit.

2080
01:31:41,240 --> 01:31:43,800
You ready to be disappointed and flabbergasted?

2081
01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:47,800
Absolutely fucking aghast to hear the absolute depths

2082
01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:48,960
of human depravity.

2083
01:31:52,480 --> 01:31:55,480
The things of like, oh my God,

2084
01:31:55,480 --> 01:31:57,840
I can't believe that these people are so stupid.

2085
01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:03,840
Alrighty, first one is by speeches and experiment.

2086
01:32:05,040 --> 01:32:06,280
Person boots.

2087
01:32:06,280 --> 01:32:09,400
I started, I 37, started getting white hair

2088
01:32:09,400 --> 01:32:10,880
whenever I was a teenager.

2089
01:32:10,880 --> 01:32:13,160
I started growing my hair out about two years ago.

2090
01:32:13,160 --> 01:32:15,920
So now I have nearly shoulder length curly hair

2091
01:32:15,920 --> 01:32:17,520
with white curls through it.

2092
01:32:17,520 --> 01:32:19,080
I love it, my wife loves it.

2093
01:32:19,080 --> 01:32:21,280
Life is good until last night whenever I flew

2094
01:32:21,280 --> 01:32:22,800
too close to the sun.

2095
01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:24,840
My wife was dying a couple tips

2096
01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:27,200
of our daughter's hair pink and blue.

2097
01:32:27,200 --> 01:32:29,840
My wife said to her, we should dye dad's hair next.

2098
01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:32,120
My daughter replied, boys can't dye their hair.

2099
01:32:32,120 --> 01:32:35,840
So after showing her some of her favorite musicians,

2100
01:32:35,840 --> 01:32:38,480
and I don't care about any of these people,

2101
01:32:38,480 --> 01:32:39,720
but we're gonna go ahead and skip that.

2102
01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:40,560
Billy Joel.

2103
01:32:40,560 --> 01:32:43,320
Because he just lists off a whole bunch of like dudes

2104
01:32:43,320 --> 01:32:45,640
and like groups that have dyed their hair.

2105
01:32:45,640 --> 01:32:46,800
Oh.

2106
01:32:46,800 --> 01:32:48,320
So basically she picked blue.

2107
01:32:49,760 --> 01:32:51,200
My hair is otherwise very dark.

2108
01:32:51,200 --> 01:32:53,760
So I figured it would only show up on my white hair.

2109
01:32:53,760 --> 01:32:55,320
My wife has claimed in the past

2110
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,280
that dye doesn't adhere to white hair very well.

2111
01:32:57,280 --> 01:33:00,280
So figured no harm in cutting my whole head.

2112
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:03,480
So how much it was going to show up anyway, you know,

2113
01:33:03,480 --> 01:33:05,480
my hair's already dark, so whatever.

2114
01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:07,480
So I wait to 30 minutes.

2115
01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:09,840
My wife takes my daughter upstairs to rinse her hair out.

2116
01:33:09,840 --> 01:33:11,920
And I hop into the shower downstairs.

2117
01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,520
A lot of dye comes out in the shower

2118
01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:14,920
and I think I'm pretty clever.

2119
01:33:14,920 --> 01:33:16,040
I never dyed my hair before

2120
01:33:16,040 --> 01:33:18,240
and having a couple of blue streaks and mists to curls

2121
01:33:18,240 --> 01:33:19,880
is going to look pretty cool.

2122
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,840
I get out of the shower and dry my hair off

2123
01:33:21,840 --> 01:33:22,840
and look in the mirror.

2124
01:33:22,840 --> 01:33:24,240
My head's completely blue.

2125
01:33:25,160 --> 01:33:27,040
Okay, good, like it cuts to like,

2126
01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:27,920
cuts to three weeks later,

2127
01:33:27,920 --> 01:33:29,920
talks to stage four cancer.

2128
01:33:29,920 --> 01:33:31,680
Like, God damn it, what happened?

2129
01:33:32,720 --> 01:33:35,440
I wish there was a subreddit of that where like,

2130
01:33:35,440 --> 01:33:36,880
is something benign, right?

2131
01:33:36,880 --> 01:33:37,720
Yeah.

2132
01:33:37,720 --> 01:33:41,120
And like, so today I went to the convenience store

2133
01:33:41,120 --> 01:33:44,480
and then there was a cut to I'm now seven years in prison.

2134
01:33:44,480 --> 01:33:47,000
Wait a minute, where's the rest of the stuff?

2135
01:33:48,920 --> 01:33:50,160
Just get my head on everything?

2136
01:33:50,160 --> 01:33:53,960
Yeah, like it just, it says something really like,

2137
01:33:53,960 --> 01:33:56,320
innocent and then the last couple of sentences

2138
01:33:56,320 --> 01:33:57,960
is fucking outlandish.

2139
01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:02,480
All right, let's see here.

2140
01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:05,360
Like, like the one like,

2141
01:34:05,360 --> 01:34:07,560
like at the bar, we just said that,

2142
01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,240
so you can't shit upside down.

2143
01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:10,080
I'm like, wait a minute, what?

2144
01:34:10,080 --> 01:34:10,920
It's like, what?

2145
01:34:10,920 --> 01:34:11,760
Yeah.

2146
01:34:11,760 --> 01:34:12,600
What do you mean?

2147
01:34:12,600 --> 01:34:13,880
You just said you went to the park and jog.

2148
01:34:13,880 --> 01:34:15,680
What the fuck are you talking about?

2149
01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:19,880
I go upstairs where my wife is bathing my kid.

2150
01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:20,880
Um, so two things.

2151
01:34:20,880 --> 01:34:23,680
One, I think I have more white hair than I first thought.

2152
01:34:26,320 --> 01:34:28,840
My wife, yeah, I could have told you that.

2153
01:34:28,840 --> 01:34:32,480
And second, you may have been wrong about the whole,

2154
01:34:32,480 --> 01:34:34,520
white hair doesn't die very well thing.

2155
01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:37,000
They have a good life about this.

2156
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,080
Now, I have nothing against dyed hair

2157
01:34:40,080 --> 01:34:42,560
and I work in a job where it doesn't really matter.

2158
01:34:42,560 --> 01:34:44,160
People don't care, wouldn't think twice about it.

2159
01:34:44,160 --> 01:34:45,640
Unemployed is a job.

2160
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:47,520
So I'm unemployed, so what do I care?

2161
01:34:47,520 --> 01:34:49,160
However, I'm a 37 year old dad

2162
01:34:49,160 --> 01:34:51,160
who has never dyed their hair before.

2163
01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:53,400
Nevermind, nearly shoulder length blue hair.

2164
01:34:53,400 --> 01:34:54,440
I look foolish.

2165
01:34:54,440 --> 01:34:56,480
You look foolish with shoulder length blue hair.

2166
01:34:56,480 --> 01:34:57,840
Shoulder length hair at all.

2167
01:35:00,160 --> 01:35:01,000
All right.

2168
01:35:01,000 --> 01:35:03,480
Should be a cut off of long hair, to be honest.

2169
01:35:03,480 --> 01:35:04,320
You know what?

2170
01:35:04,320 --> 01:35:05,160
I agree.

2171
01:35:05,160 --> 01:35:08,120
That could just be me being like, being like a cumball.

2172
01:35:08,120 --> 01:35:09,520
Like fuck them with their hair.

2173
01:35:10,520 --> 01:35:12,280
You don't want those locks?

2174
01:35:12,280 --> 01:35:13,120
What locks?

2175
01:35:13,120 --> 01:35:13,960
I'm bald as fuck.

2176
01:35:13,960 --> 01:35:16,880
Fucking George Costanza.

2177
01:35:16,880 --> 01:35:17,720
Can't stand you?

2178
01:35:17,720 --> 01:35:18,560
Can't stand you.

2179
01:35:19,720 --> 01:35:22,880
This one is by add outrageous 2674.

2180
01:35:23,880 --> 01:35:25,640
Day five, the pipes are clogged,

2181
01:35:25,640 --> 01:35:27,600
not even gas is able to escape.

2182
01:35:28,760 --> 01:35:32,760
The doctor on day four said to take some laxatives,

2183
01:35:32,760 --> 01:35:34,560
but they had no effect.

2184
01:35:34,560 --> 01:35:36,640
My urge is great, the pressure is extreme.

2185
01:35:36,640 --> 01:35:38,080
Edema, edema, edema.

2186
01:35:38,080 --> 01:35:41,720
Just hear it back now.

2187
01:35:43,240 --> 01:35:45,520
The pain, my God, the pain.

2188
01:35:45,520 --> 01:35:49,680
But then she said, whatever you do, let it come naturally.

2189
01:35:49,680 --> 01:35:53,040
No bitch, blow this shit out my ass.

2190
01:35:53,040 --> 01:35:54,000
And don't force it.

2191
01:35:55,400 --> 01:35:56,240
You don't want 100%-

2192
01:35:56,240 --> 01:35:57,560
I think I'm a force.

2193
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:01,320
She also said to get to the ER if nothing,

2194
01:36:01,320 --> 01:36:03,280
after morning attempt.

2195
01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:06,600
So here I am, morning after taking a ton of laxatives

2196
01:36:06,600 --> 01:36:08,640
the doctor gave me the day before, still nothing,

2197
01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:09,880
except the laxatives.

2198
01:36:09,880 --> 01:36:12,320
The next day, things felt way worse.

2199
01:36:12,320 --> 01:36:15,080
I swear to God, my stomach was twice its size

2200
01:36:15,080 --> 01:36:16,720
and I felt like it was going to explode.

2201
01:36:16,720 --> 01:36:17,640
Jesus.

2202
01:36:17,640 --> 01:36:18,840
So I'm sitting on the toilet,

2203
01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:21,640
approaching hour three and a half.

2204
01:36:21,640 --> 01:36:24,680
I felt a bit of movement and decided to finally push.

2205
01:36:24,680 --> 01:36:27,000
Lo and behold, after 15 minutes of pushing,

2206
01:36:27,000 --> 01:36:29,240
I get this huge relief.

2207
01:36:29,240 --> 01:36:30,560
I finally had a crap.

2208
01:36:32,200 --> 01:36:34,800
Then came the spine chilling feeling,

2209
01:36:34,800 --> 01:36:37,280
my innards feeling like ice, my spine went numb,

2210
01:36:37,280 --> 01:36:39,000
my legs go numb.

2211
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:40,680
What, he just gummed like his fucking organs

2212
01:36:40,680 --> 01:36:41,520
fell out his ass?

2213
01:36:41,520 --> 01:36:42,680
What the fuck happened?

2214
01:36:42,680 --> 01:36:44,720
Thinking I was just sitting there too long,

2215
01:36:44,720 --> 01:36:47,560
I go to wipe and I hit something.

2216
01:36:47,560 --> 01:36:51,320
I stand up a bit and see something dangling from me.

2217
01:36:51,320 --> 01:36:52,680
It was my own colon.

2218
01:36:52,680 --> 01:36:55,360
Wow, it was some fucking guts come out.

2219
01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:56,720
A lot of shit.

2220
01:36:57,960 --> 01:36:59,800
What the fuck happened?

2221
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:01,960
I forced my asshole right out of my body.

2222
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:05,120
Freaked out by having a one and a half foot piece of asshole

2223
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:06,640
hanging out of me.

2224
01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:07,480
I called an ambulance.

2225
01:37:07,480 --> 01:37:09,320
I fucking passed out.

2226
01:37:09,320 --> 01:37:11,040
Then off to the hospital I went.

2227
01:37:11,040 --> 01:37:12,600
I was in the hospital for a week.

2228
01:37:12,600 --> 01:37:14,680
I saw my doctor who told me not to force.

2229
01:37:14,680 --> 01:37:16,320
I told her what happened and she said.

2230
01:37:16,320 --> 01:37:17,160
Did you force?

2231
01:37:17,160 --> 01:37:21,160
Like what if, okay, let's be sitcom level here.

2232
01:37:21,160 --> 01:37:24,160
What if he gets to the ambulance, the doctor, right?

2233
01:37:24,160 --> 01:37:27,160
He gets rolled in, the doctor does, I did, you forced.

2234
01:37:29,040 --> 01:37:31,840
She sees his asshole sticking out of her ass.

2235
01:37:31,840 --> 01:37:33,560
She's sticking out, did you force?

2236
01:37:33,560 --> 01:37:34,400
No.

2237
01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:37,520
That's all she did, you forced.

2238
01:37:37,520 --> 01:37:40,400
Well, she says, she says,

2239
01:37:40,400 --> 01:37:43,240
that's why I didn't want you to force it.

2240
01:37:43,240 --> 01:37:46,240
You didn't bet you didn't tell me my asshole would fall out.

2241
01:37:46,240 --> 01:37:49,840
And you have a chance to detach parts of your intestine

2242
01:37:49,840 --> 01:37:51,640
and you can come out with the poop.

2243
01:37:51,640 --> 01:37:52,480
Good Lord.

2244
01:37:52,480 --> 01:37:53,920
Well, shit.

2245
01:37:53,920 --> 01:37:55,680
So here I am three operations later,

2246
01:37:55,680 --> 01:37:58,040
sitting on a donut for the next six to eight weeks,

2247
01:37:58,040 --> 01:38:00,080
shitting in a bag for the next three,

2248
01:38:00,080 --> 01:38:02,600
all because I forced whenever I shouldn't.

2249
01:38:02,600 --> 01:38:04,960
Well, how else are you supposed to get this shit out?

2250
01:38:04,960 --> 01:38:06,280
Let it come naturally.

2251
01:38:06,280 --> 01:38:07,680
Naturally?

2252
01:38:07,680 --> 01:38:08,840
Everyone pushes.

2253
01:38:15,240 --> 01:38:16,480
Let's see here.

2254
01:38:18,720 --> 01:38:23,480
All right, next one is by El Hombre, El Hombre Muruto.

2255
01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:27,760
Her muerto, hek muerto, probably.

2256
01:38:27,760 --> 01:38:31,280
For Spitz granted, this was a little while back,

2257
01:38:31,280 --> 01:38:33,520
but I will never forget this exchange.

2258
01:38:33,520 --> 01:38:35,640
Our group had a weekly afterschool meetup

2259
01:38:35,640 --> 01:38:38,760
for Ultimate Frisbee that has a mix of high schoolers,

2260
01:38:38,760 --> 01:38:40,560
college kids, and some teachers.

2261
01:38:40,560 --> 01:38:42,840
We weren't half bad and took things pretty seriously

2262
01:38:42,840 --> 01:38:43,800
now and again.

2263
01:38:43,800 --> 01:38:46,080
In a particularly close game,

2264
01:38:46,080 --> 01:38:49,400
I made what would have been a game winning flick to Scott,

2265
01:38:49,400 --> 01:38:52,680
one of the better players who happened to be Vietnamese.

2266
01:38:52,680 --> 01:38:54,920
The disc curved sideways and wasn't the best pass,

2267
01:38:54,920 --> 01:38:58,200
but was still easily catchable, especially by him.

2268
01:38:58,200 --> 01:39:00,400
We weren't much more than 10 feet from each other.

2269
01:39:00,400 --> 01:39:01,720
He just let it get to the ground

2270
01:39:01,720 --> 01:39:06,400
and hit the ground as basically watched it go by him.

2271
01:39:06,400 --> 01:39:08,680
I guess he thought that he couldn't catch it.

2272
01:39:08,680 --> 01:39:11,680
Regardless, he turned to shout at me, what was that?

2273
01:39:12,560 --> 01:39:15,120
I don't know why or what possessed him.

2274
01:39:15,120 --> 01:39:16,560
You fucking raised your voice.

2275
01:39:18,080 --> 01:39:20,520
I don't know why or what possessed him to react like that,

2276
01:39:20,520 --> 01:39:23,760
but we were admittedly already fighting tooth and nail

2277
01:39:23,760 --> 01:39:25,080
for this win.

2278
01:39:25,080 --> 01:39:28,640
So I guess we were just lost in the sauce.

2279
01:39:28,640 --> 01:39:29,680
What were they playing?

2280
01:39:29,680 --> 01:39:30,640
What are you talking about?

2281
01:39:30,640 --> 01:39:32,560
Just grab it, is what I say.

2282
01:39:32,560 --> 01:39:33,600
You fucking hoe.

2283
01:39:33,600 --> 01:39:36,440
Learn how to flick the fucking disc.

2284
01:39:36,440 --> 01:39:37,280
Learn how to fuck it.

2285
01:39:37,280 --> 01:39:39,080
Can't just start going off on each other.

2286
01:39:39,080 --> 01:39:42,000
How about you open your fucking eyes?

2287
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:44,440
That's why your fucking family left you.

2288
01:39:44,440 --> 01:39:45,520
And then he replied,

2289
01:39:45,520 --> 01:39:47,520
what the fuck was that supposed to mean?

2290
01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,320
Thankfully, our coach stepped in between us

2291
01:39:50,320 --> 01:39:52,080
and started to advance on me.

2292
01:39:52,080 --> 01:39:54,720
I was essentially frozen like a deer in the headlights

2293
01:39:54,720 --> 01:39:59,720
knowing that at this moment I had fucked up.

2294
01:40:00,240 --> 01:40:02,360
Coach told us both to sub out

2295
01:40:02,360 --> 01:40:04,120
and neither one of us played the rest of the day.

2296
01:40:04,120 --> 01:40:06,240
Coach, they need us, team needs us.

2297
01:40:06,240 --> 01:40:08,560
I texted him later that it was a poor choice of words

2298
01:40:08,560 --> 01:40:12,800
and he understood, but holy shit, I embarrassed as hell.

2299
01:40:12,800 --> 01:40:14,320
And you get why he was embarrassed, right?

2300
01:40:14,320 --> 01:40:15,160
Yeah.

2301
01:40:15,160 --> 01:40:17,280
I'm well aware.

2302
01:40:17,280 --> 01:40:19,280
All right, next one is by Dem Slug.

2303
01:40:19,280 --> 01:40:20,840
It's first in pits.

2304
01:40:20,840 --> 01:40:22,640
I was too embarrassed to post this

2305
01:40:22,640 --> 01:40:25,640
when it actually happened on June 6th

2306
01:40:25,640 --> 01:40:28,040
and still feel really dumb butt.

2307
01:40:28,040 --> 01:40:30,600
I'll save another idiot.

2308
01:40:30,600 --> 01:40:32,800
I went out for a cigarette break at work

2309
01:40:32,800 --> 01:40:34,680
and thought I turned my car all the way.

2310
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:37,560
I thought I turned my car all the way on,

2311
01:40:37,560 --> 01:40:39,920
I guess is what he was meant to put.

2312
01:40:39,920 --> 01:40:41,640
It was 110 degrees outside

2313
01:40:41,640 --> 01:40:43,440
and I was trying to have a little AC going.

2314
01:40:43,440 --> 01:40:45,280
I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

2315
01:40:45,280 --> 01:40:47,320
And I was trying to have a little AC going.

2316
01:40:47,320 --> 01:40:49,440
110 degrees, God dang.

2317
01:40:49,440 --> 01:40:51,200
Yeah, I never turned the engine

2318
01:40:51,200 --> 01:40:52,960
and was running my car on accessory mode

2319
01:40:52,960 --> 01:40:54,360
through the battery.

2320
01:40:54,360 --> 01:40:56,400
That doesn't make any sense either though.

2321
01:40:57,280 --> 01:40:59,560
You can't run your AC with the car not running.

2322
01:40:59,560 --> 01:41:00,400
But maybe he's got special.

2323
01:41:00,400 --> 01:41:02,240
Like you can have the, like you can have.

2324
01:41:02,240 --> 01:41:05,720
Special Elon Musk car, I don't fucking know.

2325
01:41:05,720 --> 01:41:07,760
That would be the only thing I could think of

2326
01:41:07,760 --> 01:41:09,960
because a normal car, the engine has to run

2327
01:41:09,960 --> 01:41:11,160
for the AC compressor to work.

2328
01:41:11,160 --> 01:41:15,600
So I'm gonna question the validity of this.

2329
01:41:16,680 --> 01:41:19,400
Now yes, if you just turn on your air itself,

2330
01:41:19,400 --> 01:41:21,520
it won't be cold, but you'll be getting like just air.

2331
01:41:21,520 --> 01:41:23,280
It's hot ass air, you're fucking mad.

2332
01:41:23,280 --> 01:41:24,400
Pretty much, yes.

2333
01:41:26,560 --> 01:41:28,960
For some reason, it was a 270 degrees in my car.

2334
01:41:30,200 --> 01:41:33,440
Well, after 15 minutes, I went to turn off my car.

2335
01:41:33,440 --> 01:41:37,880
But before I could turn it off, it turned itself off.

2336
01:41:37,880 --> 01:41:39,280
So I immediately tried to start it,

2337
01:41:39,280 --> 01:41:40,480
but you know, dead battery.

2338
01:41:40,480 --> 01:41:41,400
No.

2339
01:41:41,400 --> 01:41:43,600
So now I have to call my fiance to come out

2340
01:41:43,600 --> 01:41:46,360
and jump my car in 110 degree Vegas heat

2341
01:41:46,360 --> 01:41:48,800
and the kind of gentle good soul he is

2342
01:41:49,720 --> 01:41:52,840
where they're within 30 minutes.

2343
01:41:52,840 --> 01:41:54,600
God, they're writing some of the,

2344
01:41:54,600 --> 01:41:58,480
they didn't even put within, they put within a g.

2345
01:41:58,480 --> 01:41:59,320
Within.

2346
01:42:00,600 --> 01:42:03,520
I then had to explain to management that I'm a moron

2347
01:42:03,520 --> 01:42:05,200
and everyone was laughing at me.

2348
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:08,560
Then I get home and remember, I pay for AAA.

2349
01:42:08,560 --> 01:42:11,920
And never had to have my Santa, my fiance,

2350
01:42:11,920 --> 01:42:13,320
come out for that.

2351
01:42:13,320 --> 01:42:15,280
Y'all, I'm not gonna get out of,

2352
01:42:15,280 --> 01:42:16,920
he says like Santa, my fiance, but you can tell.

2353
01:42:16,920 --> 01:42:18,200
Like you stupid bitch, what the fuck are you thinking?

2354
01:42:18,200 --> 01:42:19,840
Like he just cusses around when he gets there.

2355
01:42:19,840 --> 01:42:21,560
He's a 110 fucking degrees out here

2356
01:42:21,560 --> 01:42:23,120
that'll start your goddamn car.

2357
01:42:23,120 --> 01:42:25,120
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

2358
01:42:25,120 --> 01:42:27,240
Well, now you can all get the belt.

2359
01:42:27,240 --> 01:42:30,040
You just don't get the balls in this whole 1940s.

2360
01:42:31,920 --> 01:42:33,560
I don't want to be fucked up.

2361
01:42:33,560 --> 01:42:34,800
Just all you hear is just a,

2362
01:42:34,800 --> 01:42:39,800
a pow bitch right to the moon.

2363
01:42:41,800 --> 01:42:42,640
That's hilarious.

2364
01:42:43,640 --> 01:42:45,400
They got to know I'm strong, boom.

2365
01:42:46,840 --> 01:42:48,840
Next one is by Randy the Pandy.

2366
01:42:48,840 --> 01:42:50,840
Randy the Pandy, I like that.

2367
01:42:52,040 --> 01:42:54,080
That's the best name I've ever heard in this fucking thing.

2368
01:42:54,080 --> 01:42:55,480
Randy the Pandy.

2369
01:42:55,480 --> 01:42:57,520
Yeah, it's for some pips.

2370
01:42:57,520 --> 01:43:00,200
On a department wide call for work today,

2371
01:43:00,200 --> 01:43:03,360
I joined the call and made sure my camera was off

2372
01:43:03,360 --> 01:43:06,360
because I was also dealing with my autistic six year old child.

2373
01:43:07,400 --> 01:43:10,040
My ex, who I unfortunately live with

2374
01:43:10,040 --> 01:43:11,760
and stays at home while at work,

2375
01:43:11,760 --> 01:43:14,040
was still asleep as I didn't have time to wake her

2376
01:43:14,040 --> 01:43:16,240
to grab my child on the call.

2377
01:43:16,240 --> 01:43:18,400
Pre-call, everyone is lightly chatting

2378
01:43:18,400 --> 01:43:20,880
and I had been getting climbed on

2379
01:43:20,880 --> 01:43:24,200
and pulled and grabbed by my kid.

2380
01:43:24,200 --> 01:43:25,800
And from across the room,

2381
01:43:25,800 --> 01:43:28,280
they jumped into the wall with a loud bang.

2382
01:43:28,280 --> 01:43:30,960
My frustration overflowed and I rolled my eyes at my desk

2383
01:43:30,960 --> 01:43:33,640
and sort of muttered loudly something to the effect of,

2384
01:43:33,640 --> 01:43:35,640
Jesus fucking Christ,

2385
01:43:35,640 --> 01:43:38,240
just calm the shit down for three minutes.

2386
01:43:39,480 --> 01:43:40,760
In an annoyed tone.

2387
01:43:40,760 --> 01:43:44,320
Within seconds, I have 14 messages from various people

2388
01:43:44,320 --> 01:43:46,880
both below and above me that I'm not muted.

2389
01:43:46,880 --> 01:43:48,200
Ba-bing, bing, bing.

2390
01:43:48,200 --> 01:43:49,280
Waiting to see if this is,

2391
01:43:49,280 --> 01:43:51,640
waiting to see if I get a discussion tomorrow.

2392
01:43:54,520 --> 01:43:57,040
Just like, yeah, make sure that those,

2393
01:43:57,040 --> 01:43:59,520
make sure the microphone's muted.

2394
01:43:59,520 --> 01:44:01,200
I mean, I fucked all those people too.

2395
01:44:01,200 --> 01:44:03,560
You just fucking whipped down all of them.

2396
01:44:03,560 --> 01:44:05,240
Next one is by Platypus Dream.

2397
01:44:06,240 --> 01:44:07,560
This person pats.

2398
01:44:07,560 --> 01:44:09,040
There was food in the bag after lunch

2399
01:44:09,040 --> 01:44:10,280
that I wanted to keep cold.

2400
01:44:10,280 --> 01:44:11,480
Summer day yesterday.

2401
01:44:11,480 --> 01:44:13,880
So the car got hot while parked at work.

2402
01:44:13,880 --> 01:44:16,240
So I left the bag in the break room fridge.

2403
01:44:16,240 --> 01:44:17,880
In order to be forced to remember it,

2404
01:44:17,880 --> 01:44:21,240
I put my keys in the lunch bag in the break room fridge.

2405
01:44:21,240 --> 01:44:23,800
Okay, so normal so far, normal.

2406
01:44:23,800 --> 01:44:25,800
We're in a fucking node or something, bro, okay.

2407
01:44:25,800 --> 01:44:29,240
We fucking put my car keys in my fucking lunch.

2408
01:44:29,240 --> 01:44:31,760
Where I messed up is that this is my first visit

2409
01:44:31,760 --> 01:44:33,600
to the site and I don't know,

2410
01:44:33,600 --> 01:44:36,480
I didn't know the staff leaves at 4 p.m.

2411
01:44:36,480 --> 01:44:39,000
When we returned to the company vehicle at 645,

2412
01:44:39,000 --> 01:44:40,920
the building was locked.

2413
01:44:40,920 --> 01:44:43,160
The senior person in our group was supposed to have

2414
01:44:43,160 --> 01:44:45,200
a working key card for the doors,

2415
01:44:45,200 --> 01:44:48,160
but it didn't work at this location for any door,

2416
01:44:48,160 --> 01:44:49,440
despite the neck level up

2417
01:44:49,440 --> 01:44:51,840
of being about the problem repeatedly.

2418
01:44:51,840 --> 01:44:53,480
We walked around the building and found one of the doors

2419
01:44:53,480 --> 01:44:55,040
that wasn't completely pulled too.

2420
01:44:55,040 --> 01:44:56,440
And that's all that saved me.

2421
01:44:56,440 --> 01:44:57,960
Not good for security though.

2422
01:44:57,960 --> 01:44:59,080
Okay.

2423
01:44:59,080 --> 01:45:00,800
So basically he fucked up by leaving his keys

2424
01:45:00,800 --> 01:45:01,640
in the lunch bag.

2425
01:45:01,640 --> 01:45:02,760
Yeah.

2426
01:45:02,760 --> 01:45:07,280
Next person, it's by Luna6696.

2427
01:45:07,280 --> 01:45:08,440
You removed that nine.

2428
01:45:10,440 --> 01:45:12,640
Happened last week and the week before that.

2429
01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:16,400
I've always loved tamarindo candy.

2430
01:45:16,400 --> 01:45:18,120
You know what tamarindo candy is?

2431
01:45:18,120 --> 01:45:18,960
Of course.

2432
01:45:19,880 --> 01:45:22,120
Always, always, always.

2433
01:45:22,120 --> 01:45:25,600
I have a problem, sorry.

2434
01:45:25,600 --> 01:45:28,040
I probably have lead poisoning from sucking down

2435
01:45:28,040 --> 01:45:30,560
so much of that sweet and sour spicy goodness

2436
01:45:30,560 --> 01:45:32,920
whenever I was in elementary school.

2437
01:45:32,920 --> 01:45:34,640
But now I work at a dust job

2438
01:45:34,640 --> 01:45:36,600
and the store across the street carries

2439
01:45:36,600 --> 01:45:38,800
some interesting Mexican candy.

2440
01:45:38,800 --> 01:45:41,880
It's tamarindo, tamarindo, is that how you pronounce it?

2441
01:45:41,880 --> 01:45:43,520
Tamarindo.

2442
01:45:43,520 --> 01:45:44,680
Chili, sugar coated.

2443
01:45:44,680 --> 01:45:45,520
Chili, sugar.

2444
01:45:46,960 --> 01:45:47,800
That's normal.

2445
01:45:48,640 --> 01:45:50,880
What's not usual here is that it's coated

2446
01:45:50,880 --> 01:45:52,680
with tamarind seed, cause.

2447
01:45:53,480 --> 01:45:54,720
No, it has those.

2448
01:45:54,720 --> 01:45:55,560
So I bought it back.

2449
01:45:55,560 --> 01:45:57,560
This sounds fucking dangerous.

2450
01:45:57,560 --> 01:45:58,720
I'm being dead inside there.

2451
01:45:58,720 --> 01:45:59,560
I don't know what to do.

2452
01:45:59,560 --> 01:46:01,400
That shit sounds like.

2453
01:46:01,400 --> 01:46:02,240
I'm sorry.

2454
01:46:02,240 --> 01:46:03,440
It's like, oh.

2455
01:46:03,440 --> 01:46:06,000
My man, Spidey says the tingling.

2456
01:46:06,000 --> 01:46:08,640
That shit sounds fucking dangerous.

2457
01:46:08,640 --> 01:46:09,720
The seed pod, that shit.

2458
01:46:09,720 --> 01:46:13,560
We even fucking eat powdered steak skin.

2459
01:46:13,560 --> 01:46:15,520
But when he said the seed,

2460
01:46:15,520 --> 01:46:17,640
that shit sounds fucking dangerous.

2461
01:46:17,640 --> 01:46:18,480
Oh shit.

2462
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:21,040
So I bought it back.

2463
01:46:22,280 --> 01:46:24,960
They're expensive, but they last me all week.

2464
01:46:24,960 --> 01:46:27,160
You have the thick coating of deliciousness

2465
01:46:27,160 --> 01:46:30,960
over an edible sour wrapper and you spit out the seeds.

2466
01:46:30,960 --> 01:46:32,800
The issue is that I love them

2467
01:46:32,800 --> 01:46:35,520
and they're covered in that thick, coarse layer.

2468
01:46:35,520 --> 01:46:38,960
Imagine sucking on sweet and sour sandpaper for two weeks.

2469
01:46:40,800 --> 01:46:41,640
I don't have to imagine.

2470
01:46:41,640 --> 01:46:42,840
I've done it all the time.

2471
01:46:44,960 --> 01:46:47,520
Especially if you're holding down the pod with your teeth

2472
01:46:47,520 --> 01:46:50,400
and rubbing your tongue around to lick off the coglia

2473
01:46:50,400 --> 01:46:51,960
without swallowing one of the seeds.

2474
01:46:51,960 --> 01:46:53,280
Wait, is he talking about?

2475
01:46:53,280 --> 01:46:54,440
It's a lot of abrasion.

2476
01:46:54,440 --> 01:46:57,520
I know what he's talking about.

2477
01:46:57,520 --> 01:46:58,960
Fucking hate that shit.

2478
01:46:58,960 --> 01:47:01,680
It's got a fucking pit in the middle of it

2479
01:47:01,680 --> 01:47:03,000
that you suck on

2480
01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:05,600
because it's all covered in the fucking,

2481
01:47:05,600 --> 01:47:10,040
it's like a goo tamarindo juice.

2482
01:47:10,040 --> 01:47:10,880
So you know what he's saying?

2483
01:47:10,880 --> 01:47:12,080
It's not a bad decision.

2484
01:47:12,080 --> 01:47:13,560
Fucking disgusting.

2485
01:47:13,560 --> 01:47:14,560
It's not a bad decision.

2486
01:47:14,560 --> 01:47:17,720
It's just like, I don't want to be chewing on a fucking,

2487
01:47:17,720 --> 01:47:19,680
it's like a fucking rock in your mouth.

2488
01:47:19,680 --> 01:47:21,760
They're not that dangerous.

2489
01:47:21,760 --> 01:47:23,600
So they're not as bad as what you thought at first?

2490
01:47:23,600 --> 01:47:24,760
I thought like, in my head,

2491
01:47:24,760 --> 01:47:26,720
I thought like it was like a tamarindo candy

2492
01:47:26,720 --> 01:47:29,160
with like little seeds all around it.

2493
01:47:29,160 --> 01:47:31,160
I'm like, I have a lot of fucking seeds of,

2494
01:47:31,160 --> 01:47:33,200
but no, it's just a pit with like the actual,

2495
01:47:33,200 --> 01:47:35,480
it's like jelly around a pit,

2496
01:47:35,480 --> 01:47:37,480
like a plum pit or something.

2497
01:47:37,480 --> 01:47:38,320
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2498
01:47:38,320 --> 01:47:39,600
But it's not that, I don't know what he did,

2499
01:47:39,600 --> 01:47:41,480
what did he fucking choke on it?

2500
01:47:41,480 --> 01:47:42,920
It's a lot of abrasion.

2501
01:47:42,920 --> 01:47:45,520
Yeah, it's just hard as a fucking rock.

2502
01:47:45,520 --> 01:47:47,640
It finally took a toll on me.

2503
01:47:47,640 --> 01:47:50,240
It finally took a toll on my tongue

2504
01:47:50,240 --> 01:47:51,760
and everything hurts to eat.

2505
01:47:51,760 --> 01:47:53,880
But I still have half a bag left

2506
01:47:53,880 --> 01:47:55,400
and I have some for today

2507
01:47:55,400 --> 01:47:56,880
after taking most of the week break

2508
01:47:56,880 --> 01:48:00,080
and I think taste blood amid all the sweet, sour and spicy.

2509
01:48:00,080 --> 01:48:02,240
By the way, when you start chewing on the tamarindo candy,

2510
01:48:02,240 --> 01:48:05,600
like it's like, it's smooth, right?

2511
01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:07,480
And then like it turns into sandpaper.

2512
01:48:07,480 --> 01:48:08,600
So that's why I know what he means.

2513
01:48:08,600 --> 01:48:11,360
Like they don't want me to eat like them every single day.

2514
01:48:11,360 --> 01:48:12,840
The same thing happened whenever I was a kid

2515
01:48:12,840 --> 01:48:14,680
with those fruit sour altoids.

2516
01:48:14,680 --> 01:48:17,440
I burned a circle on my tongue about a millimeter thick.

2517
01:48:17,440 --> 01:48:18,480
What the fuck?

2518
01:48:18,480 --> 01:48:21,160
I'm in pain with the sanded tongue and everything hurts.

2519
01:48:21,160 --> 01:48:23,000
Wish me luck, I'm gonna try ice cream tonight

2520
01:48:23,000 --> 01:48:24,160
and see if that helps.

2521
01:48:24,160 --> 01:48:25,000
Hey well.

2522
01:48:28,520 --> 01:48:31,960
And last one for today is by Max Wellington.

2523
01:48:31,960 --> 01:48:35,800
Just a randomness, just an elegant and just a normal name.

2524
01:48:36,880 --> 01:48:40,400
I worked the night shift, so I worked past midnight,

2525
01:48:40,400 --> 01:48:45,400
but it was this work night specifically.

2526
01:48:45,400 --> 01:48:47,720
I worked at a restaurant and I was making my lunch.

2527
01:48:47,720 --> 01:48:50,480
I was seasoning my chicken and I normally use seasoned salt

2528
01:48:50,480 --> 01:48:52,200
along with a couple of other things.

2529
01:48:52,200 --> 01:48:54,920
I opened up the seasoned salt and it looks a bit different.

2530
01:48:54,920 --> 01:48:56,840
I wonder if they changed the formula or something.

2531
01:48:56,840 --> 01:48:58,880
I don't know, but I figured I'd try to see

2532
01:48:58,880 --> 01:49:01,960
if it tastes different before I put it on my food.

2533
01:49:01,960 --> 01:49:04,960
We make some very spicy food that requires a waiver to eat.

2534
01:49:04,960 --> 01:49:07,120
Kind of a gimmick to get people in.

2535
01:49:07,120 --> 01:49:11,000
And apparently we keep a ghost pepper powder

2536
01:49:11,000 --> 01:49:12,600
in a seasoned salt container now.

2537
01:49:12,600 --> 01:49:13,880
Good idea.

2538
01:49:13,880 --> 01:49:15,680
Now I dumped a decent amount on my hand

2539
01:49:15,680 --> 01:49:17,240
and popped it in my mouth.

2540
01:49:17,240 --> 01:49:18,800
Really worked it around to try to see

2541
01:49:18,800 --> 01:49:20,800
if the flavor was different.

2542
01:49:20,800 --> 01:49:22,360
It was.

2543
01:49:22,360 --> 01:49:23,200
It was different.

2544
01:49:23,200 --> 01:49:24,320
I thought it was fucking hot as hell.

2545
01:49:24,320 --> 01:49:26,080
It was pure ghost pepper powder.

2546
01:49:27,320 --> 01:49:29,520
I spent the next half hour out back munching

2547
01:49:29,520 --> 01:49:32,040
on a big cup of ice, tears streaming down my face.

2548
01:49:32,040 --> 01:49:33,440
Obviously one try was-

2549
01:49:33,440 --> 01:49:34,720
It's not running down his nose.

2550
01:49:34,720 --> 01:49:35,560
I know.

2551
01:49:35,560 --> 01:49:39,720
Fucking, a pool of shit rolling down his fucking pants.

2552
01:49:39,720 --> 01:49:42,720
Like his piss, he pissed himself, he's going through it.

2553
01:49:42,720 --> 01:49:46,000
Vomit stains on his fucking front of his shirt.

2554
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:48,440
He's just with every fucking phase of barley,

2555
01:49:48,440 --> 01:49:51,160
fucking earwax drooling out of his ears.

2556
01:49:51,160 --> 01:49:52,000
Just everything.

2557
01:49:52,000 --> 01:49:52,840
Blood coming out of that.

2558
01:49:52,840 --> 01:49:55,200
It's like a god damn, you just going through it.

2559
01:49:55,200 --> 01:49:56,960
Obviously, once I was able to explain,

2560
01:49:56,960 --> 01:49:58,400
we had a good laugh about it,

2561
01:49:58,400 --> 01:50:00,760
but holy shit, that was painful.

2562
01:50:00,760 --> 01:50:03,160
Don't think I'll ever live this one down though.

2563
01:50:04,080 --> 01:50:07,120
Yeah, putting ghost pepper powder on your-

2564
01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:09,440
Into the wrong fucking container.

2565
01:50:09,440 --> 01:50:10,640
This is a dumb idea.

2566
01:50:10,640 --> 01:50:11,480
It is.

2567
01:50:11,480 --> 01:50:13,680
Like somebody knew that was going to happen.

2568
01:50:13,680 --> 01:50:16,440
You can't just, you have to label it like what it is.

2569
01:50:16,440 --> 01:50:17,600
Especially in a fucking kitchen

2570
01:50:17,600 --> 01:50:19,560
where they're fucking throwing shit into everything.

2571
01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:22,080
Imagine if somebody just got that random ghost pepper.

2572
01:50:22,080 --> 01:50:25,840
Yeah, like some customer with like ulcers, right?

2573
01:50:25,840 --> 01:50:27,400
Like I need some real light food, please.

2574
01:50:27,400 --> 01:50:28,680
Nothing too spicy.

2575
01:50:28,680 --> 01:50:29,520
And they give him fucking,

2576
01:50:29,520 --> 01:50:30,840
they actually give him a ghost pepper-

2577
01:50:30,840 --> 01:50:32,080
Fist of the season salt.

2578
01:50:32,080 --> 01:50:34,200
Fuck, it just blows his asshole out.

2579
01:50:34,200 --> 01:50:35,800
Like it throws up his fucking heart.

2580
01:50:35,800 --> 01:50:36,960
He'll be with that other guy.

2581
01:50:36,960 --> 01:50:38,240
Brr, brr, brr.

2582
01:50:38,240 --> 01:50:40,440
He'll be with that other guy that shit out.

2583
01:50:40,440 --> 01:50:42,760
He's gonna have his fucking colon.

2584
01:50:42,760 --> 01:50:44,800
God, I swear, people will be insane.

2585
01:50:44,800 --> 01:50:46,000
Very much so.

2586
01:50:46,000 --> 01:50:48,560
We Mexicans do that a lot, by the way.

2587
01:50:48,560 --> 01:50:51,320
We just put random shit into random containers.

2588
01:50:51,320 --> 01:50:54,960
Well, it won't be labeled, or anything at least.

2589
01:50:54,960 --> 01:50:56,400
He's gotta hope for the best.

2590
01:50:56,400 --> 01:50:59,200
Hey, growing up, if there was a country crock container

2591
01:50:59,200 --> 01:51:00,040
in the fridge-

2592
01:51:00,040 --> 01:51:00,880
It was fucking full of-

2593
01:51:00,880 --> 01:51:03,000
A 50-50 shot, it was leftovers or butter.

2594
01:51:03,000 --> 01:51:04,800
You don't know which one of those.

2595
01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:05,640
Not until you open it.

2596
01:51:05,640 --> 01:51:06,880
If it had those fucking blue tins,

2597
01:51:06,880 --> 01:51:10,040
it was always gonna be fucking sewing.

2598
01:51:10,040 --> 01:51:11,320
Implement items.

2599
01:51:11,320 --> 01:51:12,160
Always.

2600
01:51:12,160 --> 01:51:14,280
Ain't no fucking cookie in this motherfucker.

2601
01:51:14,280 --> 01:51:15,120
Never.

2602
01:51:15,120 --> 01:51:17,480
When somebody even put it, I seen it on a post on-

2603
01:51:17,480 --> 01:51:18,960
I was so surprised that it was never in the kitchen.

2604
01:51:18,960 --> 01:51:20,360
It was in some fucking drawer.

2605
01:51:20,360 --> 01:51:21,720
But you just hoped it was cookies.

2606
01:51:21,720 --> 01:51:22,680
Yeah.

2607
01:51:22,680 --> 01:51:24,240
I seen a post on X-Four, it said,

2608
01:51:24,240 --> 01:51:26,400
oh my God, there's actually cookies that can be found-

2609
01:51:26,400 --> 01:51:27,640
I don't know what you're thinking.

2610
01:51:27,640 --> 01:51:29,960
Cause nobody's ever got cookies in them.

2611
01:51:29,960 --> 01:51:32,040
It's always a random amass of like-

2612
01:51:32,040 --> 01:51:33,360
Fucking sewing shit.

2613
01:51:33,360 --> 01:51:35,560
Fucking needles and bullshit.

2614
01:51:36,880 --> 01:51:38,280
And every grandma has one.

2615
01:51:38,280 --> 01:51:40,280
Yeah, my grandma sure did.

2616
01:51:41,400 --> 01:51:42,240
All right.

2617
01:51:42,240 --> 01:51:43,640
Anything else to add before we head out tonight?

2618
01:51:43,640 --> 01:51:44,880
Nah, I guess that's it.

2619
01:51:46,000 --> 01:51:46,840
Cool.

2620
01:51:46,840 --> 01:51:47,800
Stay frosty.

2621
01:51:47,800 --> 01:51:49,640
We'll see you.

2622
01:51:49,640 --> 01:51:51,160
I have a terrible outro.

2623
01:51:51,160 --> 01:51:52,760
We'll see you guys in the next one.

2624
01:51:52,760 --> 01:52:07,920
School Out.