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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noe.

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And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown

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movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.

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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.

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Let's go ahead and get started.

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All righty.

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So for our breakdown today, we have Identity Crisis.

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DC Comics.

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It was from June to December in 2004.

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It ran for seven issues.

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Okay.

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The main characters...

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Sure redefined everything too.

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A little bit, yeah.

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It kind of gave you the darker side.

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For such few issues, like about half a year, completely just like changing the trajectory

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of the entire DC canon.

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Until Reaper.

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Yeah.

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And then like unrebirthed.

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So stupid.

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God, it was so stupid.

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Why they call it like DC abortion instead of Reaper.

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Got it the monotone in the first couple seconds.

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What did I do?

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Now we're going to have an abortion like a fact thing at the bottom of the video.

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Oh, God dang.

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I can't use the word abortion?

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No.

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Well, bam.

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This is America.

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Not unless you want to...

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This is my area.

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Not unless you want to have a bunch of people in the comments section arguing back and forth.

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That's the one thing that we do try to avoid on this channel is we don't really try to

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talk about politics.

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Right.

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Exactly.

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So politics don't matter really when you're talking about...

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I only follow that the politics of the one true king of Westros, status Baratheon.

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All right.

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So the main characters in the series are going to be the Justice League, Green Arrow, Batman,

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Elongated Man, Dr. Light, and Gene Laurie.

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Elongated Man?

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Yes.

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Instead of Plastic Man.

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Why the fuck would he have a...

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Yeah, like that's such a fucking like a random choice.

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Like could we get Plastic Man because it's so, you know, unique and simple and quick

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to say.

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Yeah.

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Actually Elongated Man.

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He's basically the knockoff version of Mr. Fantastic.

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Elongated.

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Like it just like it doesn't roll off the tongue.

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It's Elongated Man.

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You know what I mean?

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Like when a villain sees him, well, if it isn't my arse now it's Elongated Man.

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They just shorten it down to E-Man.

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Yeah, because they realize Elongated Man is a mouthful.

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Or you get the illiterate people that can't pronounce nothing.

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I don't know.

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Like for superheroes it has to be a quick, simple like, oh my god, it's Batman.

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It's Superman.

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Flash.

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Green Lantern.

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The Flash Wonder Woman.

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Elongated Man.

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Even the Spectre and he's not even a main character.

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Spectre, like it's quick.

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You got to be quick with your, you know, with your hero name.

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It's like that fucking movie, that cowboy movie with Brad Pitt.

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The Assassination of Jesse J. by the Coward.

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Blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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It's like 50 words long.

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Oh my god.

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Yeah, it's a long, look up the Brad Pitt Western title.

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It's a long ass title.

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It's like that's a little bit too long of a title for me.

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I'll look it up while you keep going.

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All right, so the creative team on this was created by Brad Meltzer, Rags Morales, and

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Michael Bear.

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Written by Brad Meltzer.

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The artists were Michael Turner for the cover.

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That means 60 years old, Brad Pitt.

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I know.

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Jeez.

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The penciler was Rags Morales.

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The inker was Michael Bear.

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The letterer was Ken Lopez.

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The colorist was Alex Sinclair.

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And the editor was Mike Carlin.

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All righty, so Identity Crisis is a seven issue comic book limited series published by DC

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Comics from June to December in 2004.

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One of DC's top selling series, the first issue was released in June 2004 and was ranked

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first in comic book sales for that period with pre-order sales of $163,000.

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Nice.

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Which is quite a bit.

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So here's the title.

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The Assassination of Jason James by the Coward Robert Ford.

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Oh my god, that's too long.

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That's the full title.

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That's just too long.

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Can I get a ticket for The Assassination of Jason James by the Coward Robert Ford?

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Thank you.

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My god, they always say make movie titles short too.

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Short and simple.

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Like even one of the longer ones.

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Oh, that's your Indiana Jones.

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That's the Indiana Jones aunt.

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But it's Indiana Jones.

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So when you go to the theater you say Indiana.

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I need the Indiana Jones film.

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I need the Indiana movie.

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I need my fix.

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But you can at least say that rather than the entire series.

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My name is the Avengers 15.

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The Unavenged.

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But again, even though it says Avengers you can go up there when the new movie comes out.

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Hey, I want a ticket to Avengers.

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You ever see that?

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Super simple.

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There's a new trailer for Deadpool where it's got that huge base that's made out of the

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body of Ant-Man and Ant-Man being portrayed by Paul Rudd in the movies.

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And it opens up and then of course Deadpool is like well it looks like Paul Rudd finally

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aged because it's like just a skull inside the suit as it opens up.

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So just Ant-Man being meta.

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Or not Ant-Man but Deadpool being meta.

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It's like yeah he's finally aged you know.

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He's a skeleton.

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Because I think they changed the, they're changing the format of the multiverse.

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Like they're saying that, I don't know if Deadpool is setting the precedent or not,

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but they're saying that every universe in existence in the Marvel series, each universe

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has its own specific superhero.

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It's not like, none of them are like, they're not all like the MCU which was like all a

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bunch of heroes consistently.

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Which is probably how they're going to say that that's the main universe because there's

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so many of them.

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But like apparently everyone's going to have their own like specific, like one is just

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going to be the X-Men or one is just Deadpool.

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Because Deadpool, well he's part of the X-Men too.

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They're doing it so that they can cover their own ass in the future whenever film's bomb

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and they'll say no no no no no no no no no that was a standalone.

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That had nothing to do with this universe at all.

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I would do that too if it was I had to watch Morbius again.

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Oh god don't bring that shit up.

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I fell asleep the first time I fell asleep in a movie theater.

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That movie sucked.

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And they also tried to make him like an anti-hero.

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Like why?

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He didn't really fit much as an anti-hero.

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He didn't much fit as a superhero either.

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That's what I'm saying.

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But he wasn't a villain though.

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Oh by the way, the diddler did do it.

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I've seen the scariest sight in the world and that was him running down a hall.

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Fucking almost butt ass naked.

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Imagine if you see that shit running towards you.

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It's the diddler.

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It's funny because the name is sticking now.

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The diddler.

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Well.

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Everybody's calling him the diddler.

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Now if I die in a car explosion it was the diddler.

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If you've seen him running towards you and then all he has to do is start throwing his

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hands up and doing that dance that he used to do.

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Oh lord.

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Oh god.

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A towering survivor.

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That was a fucked up video.

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How come it took him that long to show it?

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Should have showed that all those years ago.

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You would think.

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I guess whenever it's like the most profitable to show a video I guess.

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Yeah.

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That is a big thing.

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Like someone just has it in a vault.

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The diddler did it.

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That was pretty bad.

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He just comes out of the fucking room like ahhh.

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And he had time to put socks on at least.

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I noticed that part.

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Funny shit.

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Now you didn't put any socks on but you were in a towel with your socks on.

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He was right in there trying to get freaky.

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I guess.

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Oh shit.

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He had all those other wrappers back in the back.

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Of course.

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Geez.

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There's somebody that Justin Bieber in there singing baby.

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Baby baby baby.

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Fuckin' had tears falling down his eyes.

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That's so fucked up.

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Yeah it is.

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That was still funny though.

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That was a crazy news week.

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So many things came out.

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That's still funny though.

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Oh you guys have to excuse me I'm fucked up right now.

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Go ahead.

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Alright so the story also adheres to the continuity changes introduced by Crisis on Infinite Earths

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and Zero Hour, Crisis in Time.

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This is when they still had continuity in DC Comics before everything got fucked up

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with the New 52.

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I imagine like it would be so funny if there was one guy in the bowels of the DC headquarters

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right and he's like the continuity caretaker.

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He's just sitting there.

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He's got like a whole wall of stuff connected.

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It's all webbed.

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Just strings everywhere and he's just chain smoking.

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He's like 22 but he's also 73 years old.

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So in 1973 Batman finally met the new Robin Tim Tret.

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The door creaks open and like you know Dan Dido comes in.

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So I need to talk to you about continuity.

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Well thank God he's not there no more.

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What do you know about continuity?

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I'm so glad that he's not there no more Dan Didio.

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Dan Didio?

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Did you?

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I think that's how you pronounce it a lot.

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He probably did it too.

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He probably did.

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He was part of the Diddler.

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The Diddy trio.

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And now it's uh what's his name?

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Samuel L Jackson.

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He runs DC Comics.

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If it works for Marvel it would be funny.

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I would love like random like facts like that.

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That would be like no one knew right?

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You know fucking Samuel L Jackson writes the new Nick Fury comics?

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That would be weird.

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You know what I mean?

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Like just random facts that no one knew.

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That would be hilarious though too.

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Like that golf guy getting arrested the other day.

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And then they still he's like you got to go play golf.

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And I'm like well damn bro.

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It was a random you know random shit like that.

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It was like okay you drug a cop on your car.

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He dragged him?

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Yeah he drug him.

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Yeah he still got to go play golf.

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It's like well if I had done that I would have fucking lit my car up.

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They would have lit my car up.

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They would have lit 150 bullets and then they would find 17 grams of cocaine in my fucking

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lips or something.

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They would just sprinkle that shit on my fucking chest.

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And three acorns.

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Talking three acorns.

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They're going down man.

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I should make an acorn gun.

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Just to be an asshole.

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Like when the police arrest me right they find a slingshot of some acorns.

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Yeah I did it.

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So she can pierce through body armor apparently.

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I don't know.

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You think he quit?

262
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,160
I think he went out on fire didn't he?

263
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,160
I hope so.

264
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,400
Yeah I think he can whip the fuck out of his own car.

265
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,120
And still miss?

266
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,520
I'm glad if it was me like I'm glad you're a shit shot.

267
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,520
That's what everybody said though.

268
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,840
It's like damn dude that many shots and you still missed every one of them?

269
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,840
Oh bro.

270
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,840
Jesus what a wild night.

271
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,720
Yeah but it would be funny like random tidbits of famous people like we didn't even know.

272
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,720
Yeah.

273
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,440
Just random shit you've never even heard of.

274
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,440
You fucking hilarious.

275
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:31,440
Alright so like fucking Brad Pitt has a fucking show on public access or some shit.

276
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,440
You know what I mean?

277
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,440
Just a random fucking thing.

278
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,480
You just sit to the chair and talk to other celebrities.

279
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,400
I guarantee you there's facts out there like that though.

280
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,760
Just random shit that you've never even heard of.

281
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,360
The celebrities do.

282
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,360
Just for fun I guess.

283
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,360
I mean I guess they're real people too.

284
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,840
They gotta be complex and multifaceted.

285
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,920
I mean you don't really hear about Scientology from Tom Cruise no more.

286
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,440
Because he knows not to talk about Scientology.

287
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,440
Now?

288
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,760
The first rule of Scientology is you don't talk about Scientology.

289
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,280
No like Leah Remi when she came out.

290
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,280
Oh yeah.

291
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:07,400
Man I used to have such a crush on her when the King of Queens.

292
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,400
I was like oh!

293
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,400
Yell at me all you want.

294
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,760
Cause that was actually an emotion.

295
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,840
That was a verbally abusive relationship by the way.

296
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:16,840
Yeah it really was.

297
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:17,840
And nobody realized it.

298
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,160
The same thing with Raymond.

299
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,160
It was.

300
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,160
Deborah where she was always yelling.

301
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:30,640
The one episode that turned me off of Everyone Loves Raymond was that her life was great.

302
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,440
He didn't even beat the shit out of her.

303
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,440
He paid his bills.

304
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,440
He didn't cheat on her.

305
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,440
He took care of the kids.

306
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,960
It was a nice cozy family life right?

307
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,440
And then one day he comes out to the house and he looks through the window and he sees

308
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,440
her crying on the couch.

309
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,960
And she's like sometimes I feel like crying on the couch.

310
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,720
I'm like bitch for fucking what?

311
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,160
Yeah that's true.

312
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,200
That turned me off of the entire show.

313
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,360
Like she always complained about his mom and stuff like that.

314
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,360
I gave him a fucking open the door and cried.

315
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,360
I'll give you something to cry about.

316
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,480
I fucking pulled his belt out.

317
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,440
But that shit made me so fucking mad.

318
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,440
Cause why are you crying?

319
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,440
Exactly.

320
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:10,240
Like your life is fine.

321
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,240
She's got a nice house.

322
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,240
Big house.

323
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,240
In New York.

324
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,880
But some days I just feel like crying why are you still...

325
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,880
I was so mad.

326
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,240
Cause at the end they lived on Long Island.

327
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,240
Did they?

328
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,240
Yeah.

329
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,240
Like they lived in a nice house.

330
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,520
Expensive ass houses in Long Island.

331
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,520
I know.

332
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,760
Raymond was a sports broadcaster or journalist.

333
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,760
Okay.

334
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,480
Yeah cause they would cross over a little bit with King of Queens.

335
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,480
Yeah.

336
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,480
Like set in the same universe.

337
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,480
Yeah.

338
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,440
Like he had his mom living across the street which apparently annoyed her cause they were

339
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,880
kind of like wacky.

340
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:41,880
Right.

341
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,880
Whatever.

342
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:47,880
And whenever they would like anytime she needed a break the motherfuckers would be like go

343
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,880
to your grandparents house.

344
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,120
Or if she ever needed food made or dinner made they would have...

345
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,400
Marie would have made it.

346
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,400
But no.

347
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,040
I felt like I had to cry on the couch for whatever.

348
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,040
I was so angry.

349
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,240
That was the dumbest fucking plot line.

350
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,800
You were even safe because the brother was a damn cop.

351
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,800
Yeah.

352
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,800
Like a six foot nine.

353
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,800
What up?

354
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,800
Hey Raymond.

355
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,800
Hey Ray.

356
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,800
Fucking voice.

357
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,800
If his voice was one decibel deeper you shit your pants.

358
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:11,800
Pull the car over.

359
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,960
Oh fuck I shit myself I'm sorry.

360
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,920
And then he always cried.

361
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:16,920
You know what it was?

362
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,960
It was like if he was blackbolt that's how deep his voice was.

363
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:20,960
Yeah.

364
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,960
Opened his fucking mouth and fucking disintegrated everybody.

365
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,960
Hey Ray.

366
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,960
Hey Ray.

367
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,960
Hey Ray.

368
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,960
Sound like what a fucking Golden Retriever would sound like.

369
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,960
I don't know why.

370
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,960
Great Dane is what I thought.

371
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:38,720
Cause he's almost like lovable like a Golden Retriever most of the Great Danes.

372
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,680
I don't know much about their personality.

373
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,680
Depressed.

374
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:42,680
Hey Raymond.

375
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,120
I tried to hang myself but I got no thumbs.

376
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,000
A great name would be like Marmaduke.

377
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,320
Oh yeah but he wasn't that depressed.

378
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,320
No but.

379
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,600
That dog loved fucking stuff up.

380
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,240
So did.

381
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,680
So did Robert.

382
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,640
Remember he hooked up with some woman once and his fucking pants were so high like it

383
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,240
reached up to her fucking bra like her breast size and shit.

384
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,600
Remember like her pants like his pants cause the parents had caught him at the house.

385
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,800
So she was coming up with his fucking pants and that fucking shit the fucking belt buckle

386
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800
reached all the way to her titties.

387
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,880
I'm like God dang Robert how fucking tall are you.

388
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,840
And then she had the weird brother.

389
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:24,840
She did?

390
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,840
Yeah she did.

391
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,840
His girlfriend.

392
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,840
That became his wife.

393
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,840
Oh.

394
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,200
She had the weird dude as her brother.

395
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,200
Care my brother.

396
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,200
I didn't know she had a brother.

397
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,880
Yeah cause remember her family was super Christian.

398
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:38,880
No.

399
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:39,880
You never made it that far.

400
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,720
And once I saw her fucking crying for no reason I was like you know what I'm done with this

401
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,720
bullshit.

402
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,320
Yeah if you watch the later episodes though.

403
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,200
Yeah they're funny.

404
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,440
I liked her in the show The Middle.

405
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,440
I fucking love that show.

406
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,440
That's her mom.

407
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,440
Yeah.

408
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,440
Yeah.

409
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:54,440
It was a perfect dynamic that time.

410
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,920
Patricia I think is her name.

411
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,120
Yeah I think so.

412
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,800
Patricia Heating I'm pretty sure.

413
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,800
I loved The Middle.

414
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,800
I loved Malcolm in The Middle.

415
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,800
I couldn't stand Everyone Loves Raymond.

416
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:04,800
Go figure.

417
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,520
Maybe I just like this fun she little ish family.

418
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,520
Yeah.

419
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,760
I guess like because the functional fans are more real.

420
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:12,760
Yes.

421
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:13,760
And no family is perfect.

422
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,760
Well I like.

423
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,480
They're also like they're not also like the show Shameless.

424
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,200
They're not all fucking that bad.

425
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,200
No.

426
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,160
Well a lot of people even came and pointed out that in Malcolm in The Middle their dad

427
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,360
was actually a good dad overall.

428
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,320
Which is fucking insane.

429
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,560
Yes.

430
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,200
But he was a good dad to them.

431
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,240
Like he tried to show them the right things to do.

432
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,960
He did anything that they wanted for him you know.

433
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,760
I think my favorite part was when Lois was pregnant again.

434
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,040
And he's like honey it's gonna be fine.

435
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,040
We got this.

436
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,680
Like he's trying to be as encouraging as he can.

437
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,480
Then he goes to his car.

438
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,480
He gets in.

439
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,920
The minute the fucking door locks right because it's almost like those cars are almost soundproof.

440
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:53,920
Yes.

441
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,000
Like not 100 percent so don't be fucking in the car.

442
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000
But they're almost soundproof.

443
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:04,280
And he fucking just starts fucking bawling.

444
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,400
He starts fucking shanking the fucking steering wheel.

445
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,240
He's so mad that he's having another kid because he can't handle it.

446
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,240
You ever see that scene?

447
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:15,440
Like he just fucking collapses in the chair or like in the seat in the driver's seat.

448
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,440
He's just like I can't fucking do this.

449
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,320
And of course Malcolm's sleeping in the back.

450
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:21,320
Yes.

451
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,120
Because he couldn't find it because there was so many people over that he couldn't find

452
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,120
a place to sleep at night.

453
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:27,120
And then he didn't even know that he was back there.

454
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,120
Exactly.

455
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,120
That was the funniest part.

456
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,440
Because you got Malcolm with wide eyes where he's like oh shit.

457
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,080
I watched Hal fucking bawl his eyes out.

458
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,120
I watched that shit like on repeat on YouTube for like a month straight.

459
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:43,320
Every time I was feeling down or bored I would just watch him fucking disintegrate emotionally.

460
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,560
Because that makes you feel like my life could be that.

461
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,360
He could be there like on the fucking dead end job about to have another fucking kid.

462
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,680
He can't handle the kids he has now.

463
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,600
One's a fucking master chef.

464
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,040
One's a fucking master genius.

465
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,640
One's a fucking master musician.

466
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,600
All three of his kids were something.

467
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,600
Well the oldest one was not.

468
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,160
He was like the most plain one.

469
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,160
Francis was...

470
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,560
I think didn't it end with him being in Alaska?

471
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,880
No that was like halfway through the series.

472
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:13,880
Is that halfway through?

473
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,680
Yeah because he left military school.

474
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,680
I know that.

475
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,040
Then he hooked up with that super gorgeous wife of his.

476
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,880
And what happened after that?

477
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,960
After that the very last episode was them.

478
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,600
It was Malcolm graduating.

479
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,720
And he was being offered this high paying job.

480
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,240
Like multi like million dollar like signing bonus.

481
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:40,920
And his parents, his whole family somehow made him look so unappealing that they turned

482
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,460
down the offer.

483
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,040
And he's like why would you do that to me?

484
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,560
And like apparently they need him to suffer so that when he becomes president that he'll

485
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,160
understand the common working man.

486
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,540
Now that was how the series ended.

487
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:59,680
And he's like being president is hard and I'm like you'll be alright.

488
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,680
You're already a genius.

489
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,680
Yeah.

490
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,680
And it started with Red Paint being put in his chair in the first episode.

491
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,680
It did?

492
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:06,680
Mmhmm.

493
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,120
They also had that weird scene where his mom was topless.

494
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,120
When she opened the door.

495
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,680
I don't know what angle they were trying to...

496
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,040
They dropped that angle real quick.

497
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,200
They never had topless mom walking around ever again.

498
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,200
No.

499
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,200
Because it made no sense to me.

500
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,480
Well you only did later on.

501
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,160
Well I know they did the Burning Man topless scene.

502
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,720
Well they did that again too though with her.

503
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:27,720
I'm pretty sure.

504
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,720
Did they?

505
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,720
Yeah.

506
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,720
It's just a weird angle.

507
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,760
Because they're not like a nudist family so it made no sense.

508
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,240
No I think it was because she was doing clothes though at the time.

509
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,720
Like she was still putting stuff up.

510
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,280
To the fucking titties flapping left and right?

511
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,280
I don't know.

512
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,280
Weird.

513
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:43,280
Didn't have time to?

514
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,280
I guess not.

515
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,280
Bro.

516
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,760
Because I'm trying to figure out what the meaning was.

517
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,560
Like is it like this is nonchalant?

518
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,880
This is how it happens sometimes with kids.

519
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,880
You don't have time to get dressed.

520
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,880
I don't know.

521
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,880
Never assumed that.

522
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,880
She was wearing like regular clothes still at the bottom.

523
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:57,880
At the bottom.

524
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,080
I just heard titties were just fucking swinging out.

525
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,880
Because I think it was when she opened the door the guy was like oh she's got them some

526
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,880
titties.

527
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:04,880
He was like what you have them too?

528
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,000
I was like not as fucking immaculate as you.

529
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,640
That's basically what she said.

530
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:15,060
I think it was that she was trying to get a brawl out of the clothes.

531
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,960
I think that was the whole thing.

532
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,500
From a storytelling perspective I always wonder the angle of why.

533
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,760
I'm pretty sure it was just because they're.

534
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,760
That's how sad I've gotten these last few years.

535
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,560
Like instead of being the pervert I used to be.

536
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,160
Like oh titties for no reason.

537
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,160
I'm like why are there titties?

538
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,160
But why are there titties?

539
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,160
Yeah like but why are there titties?

540
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:38,280
You go from the where and when can I find them to the why.

541
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,280
Exactly.

542
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,240
Like how does this fit the story narrative I wonder.

543
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,240
That's the first thing I've got.

544
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,880
I guess that's how much my storytelling has tried to develop into an actual like what's

545
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:47,880
the point?

546
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,720
It's like instead of the where and when it's the how why.

547
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:56,760
You remember that Keira Noir movie I told you about where it's two separate movies

548
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,760
mashed together?

549
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:58,760
Yes.

550
00:20:58,760 --> 00:20:59,760
Yes.

551
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,920
I bought the full DVD right?

552
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,560
And I'm watching I'm like why?

553
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:11,040
I don't understand the like because it's it drives me insane that there's two different

554
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,040
movies.

555
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,040
Right.

556
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,240
Like every other scene every scene would be the next the movie.

557
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:20,920
So it'd be movie one scene one movie two scene one then movie two movie one or no movie two

558
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:25,040
scene one then it'd be movie one scene two then movie two scene two.

559
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,080
I'm like what the what what what?

560
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:34,120
To this day I'm still I'm like I watch it sometimes not for any like actual like because

561
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:35,120
I've seen it all right.

562
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,120
Yeah.

563
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,640
You see one titties he all titties and I'm just like I don't understand the actual narrative

564
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,480
of what you're trying to do here.

565
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:46,880
You could have just done the two movies and just split them up.

566
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,880
Yeah.

567
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,920
It just like I feel like I literally feel like buying the rights to it and rewriting

568
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,240
it so that they fit together.

569
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,280
And the rights probably are not very expensive.

570
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,400
Right now like eighty dollars.

571
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,160
It's free just like it's on TV it's free anyway.

572
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,600
I realize why they don't think of the you know it's going to be a dirty movie or like

573
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,240
a softcore movie when it's like forty five minutes long.

574
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,400
They have to cut out everything.

575
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,400
Yeah.

576
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,120
You're like huh that's a short movie.

577
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,320
They cut all the dirty things.

578
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:26,120
There's one called the teeny weeny bikini squad.

579
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:30,760
I think they changed the title and they and it's like thirty five minutes long.

580
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:35,360
They brought it down from a two and a half hour.

581
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,360
Yeah.

582
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,280
We're going to have our epic to a short little concise story.

583
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,160
That's hilarious.

584
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:49,440
Well that goes back to Justice League we got really sidetracked which is always nice for

585
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,120
me to talk about whatever we can film wise.

586
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,440
All right.

587
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:59,840
Tune in next week when we have Cure Noir here to talk us through this movie.

588
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,760
All right.

589
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,440
Let's see here.

590
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,880
The story adheres to the continuity changes introduced by Crisis on Infinite Earths and

591
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,920
Zero Hour as a heroine Wonder Woman.

592
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:13,920
Heroine.

593
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,560
She's just taking heroin.

594
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,560
Yes.

595
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,560
And sad thing is it's spelled the same too.

596
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,560
Black tar.

597
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:19,560
Mm hmm.

598
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,560
God dang.

599
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,560
She got it from the gods.

600
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,560
Is this is a dealer.

601
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:25,560
Yeah I got that.

602
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,560
I got this shit you need.

603
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,560
He called it lightning.

604
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,560
I bet he did.

605
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,040
Because it'll light up your life.

606
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,320
It's going to ruin your life too.

607
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,920
Oh you know about that Houston you see the videos of the Houston storm.

608
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,920
Yeah.

609
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,400
Like a fucking apocalypse opened up.

610
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,400
Holy shit.

611
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,160
And that storm lasted all the way to Florida.

612
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,960
I never knew like I've never seen it get that dark like here.

613
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,280
I have one time.

614
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,280
I never want to see that.

615
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,440
The only time I've ever seen to get that dark was during May 3rd 1999.

616
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,480
Bet it was.

617
00:23:55,480 --> 00:24:00,800
I will never forget the way the sky looked that day.

618
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,160
Like the strongest storm that's ever been through.

619
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,560
Fucking like Houston was like a major city just getting like oh you see that skyscraper

620
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,720
just fucking windows knocked the fuck out.

621
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:11,720
Yeah.

622
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:12,720
Jesus.

623
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,720
Wow right there by the ocean.

624
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:14,720
So yeah.

625
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,720
Welcome to the hurricane season.

626
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,600
Exactly.

627
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,480
As the hero Wonder Woman was retconned out of the pre-crisis JLA.

628
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:25,480
Mm hmm.

629
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,480
She was?

630
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,480
Yeah.

631
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,720
And all because of her mother right.

632
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:29,720
Uh huh.

633
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,720
Right.

634
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,000
So her reference to Wonder Woman is replaced by a black canary.

635
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Yeah.

636
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:40,040
Following Infinite Crisis however Wonder Woman is restored as a founding member.

637
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,040
Okay.

638
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,600
Uh one of the major plot threads to break down of relationships within the Justice League

639
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:51,600
of America is examined in the storyline Crisis of Conscience in JLA 115 through 119 August

640
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,120
December of 2005.

641
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:58,920
The miniseries is followed by the crossover event Infinite Crisis which had um Dark Side

642
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,920
I think in it.

643
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:01,920
One of those final crisis.

644
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:02,920
So.

645
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:03,920
Okay.

646
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,360
But this took place before that.

647
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:06,480
Oh yeah?

648
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,480
So basically we start off while elongated man.

649
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,480
Jesus.

650
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:16,560
Is on a stakeout during which a minor villain called Bolt is shot and wounded by criminals.

651
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,480
His wife Sue Dibny is murdered in their apartment.

652
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,840
Apparently dying of burns.

653
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:22,840
Oh.

654
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:23,840
Yeah.

655
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,600
The DC superhero community rallies to find the murderer.

656
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:32,280
Was this that one really bad storyline where Dr. Light rapes one of the heroes why this

657
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,280
is the one?

658
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,280
God dang it.

659
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,280
I hate that storyline.

660
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,280
Yep yep yep.

661
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,560
With a recurring villain Dr. Light being the prime suspect.

662
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:46,960
Green Arrow reveals to The Flash Wally West and Green Lantern Kyle Rayner that Light once

663
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,520
raped Sue Dibny.

664
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,520
Oh.

665
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,000
In the JLA satellite headquarters.

666
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,000
God dang it.

667
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Yeah.

668
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,680
That's some like real dark shit.

669
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,680
I know.

670
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,280
Like the hero would not like, especially like their level of heroism.

671
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,600
Yeah they don't put up with it.

672
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,600
They're not used to that.

673
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,600
No.

674
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,600
Like I mean like if you imagine like the old 1940s heroes.

675
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,000
And then walking into some real horrific shit.

676
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,040
I don't know though the original Joker is pretty bad.

677
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,040
Was he?

678
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,040
Yeah.

679
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,040
Hmm.

680
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:19,520
Like the way you look at it right, like heroism right.

681
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,760
There are certain like things that you have to keep because you have to keep it lighthearted

682
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,760
escapism.

683
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:25,760
Yes.

684
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,840
So it can't be something like truly fucking dark.

685
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:28,840
Really really really dark.

686
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,560
Like you can't have a Spider-Man walk in and a bunch of murdered babies.

687
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,040
Although Spider-Man gets dark as fuck too.

688
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,040
Does it?

689
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,920
Like you've read Spider-Man comic books.

690
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,880
You've been cut through so much hell.

691
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,400
Yeah but like within the context of superheroism.

692
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,400
Yeah.

693
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,120
Like his girlfriend dying is sure.

694
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:47,360
Like him almost losing, you know he lost Uncle Ben and all that.

695
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,360
But not like.

696
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,240
But not like something truly fucking dark.

697
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,240
Yeah.

698
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:55,080
But within the context of real life like it gets dark in real life.

699
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:59,240
There are certain limits within the hero world that they would like if they were trapped

700
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,200
under like they landed on our planet they'd be like what the fuck is wrong with you people?

701
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,400
Watching like cartel people get fucking like skinned alive.

702
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:12,480
Yeah because the only other dark thing like that that I've seen before is like whenever

703
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,960
Jason Todd got the shit beat out of him.

704
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,440
And even that was just like an ass whooping.

705
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,440
Yeah.

706
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,240
Like everyone gets their ass beat eventually.

707
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,240
Yeah.

708
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,080
I mean like it'd be like if Jeffery got that fucking crowbar shut up his ass or something.

709
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,680
It'd be a whole different story.

710
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,720
We don't know what actually happened.

711
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:32,280
Within the context of superhero antics that would never happen.

712
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,280
It would never cross their mind.

713
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,440
Even villains have that limit because you can't make them that real.

714
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,440
You know what I mean?

715
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,440
Yeah that's true.

716
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,480
And so like something like that Dr. Light that's too real.

717
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:47,800
It completely offsets that like the escapism and the suspension disbelief.

718
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,800
And now I'm like God you need to put that motherfucker in jail.

719
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:51,800
Yeah.

720
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:58,440
So yeah basically I'll see here.

721
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,240
This happened in the jail a satellite headquarters.

722
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:06,000
So to ensure this could not happen again to sue another Justice League member or their

723
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,840
loved ones the members at the time Adam which was Ray Palmer at the time.

724
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:16,120
Black Canary Hawkman Green Lantern which was Hal Jordan at the time and a reluctant Flash

725
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:21,440
which was Barry Allen voted to allow the sorceress Zatanna to mind wipe the villain and alter

726
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:27,560
his personality to an ineffectual buffoon before again sending him to prison.

727
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,080
So they made him the weirdo?

728
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,440
Like D-level villain?

729
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,680
Yes.

730
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:33,680
Because of that?

731
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,680
Yes.

732
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,520
So he was that legit villain?

733
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,160
Yes before that.

734
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,120
Before that like he actually had intelligence.

735
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,920
Yeah well he was a fucking rapist.

736
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:44,920
Yeah.

737
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:50,360
So further discussion reveals that a mind wipe was also done on at least another occasion

738
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:56,200
when the secret society of supervillains which were the Wizard, Floronic Man, Star Sapphire,

739
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:01,200
Reverse Flash and Blockbuster they captured the JLA members of Superman, Batman, Flash,

740
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,840
Green Lantern, Hal Jordan at the time, Zatanna and Black Canary which was the Wonder Woman

741
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,560
in the pre-crisis continuity.

742
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,960
So that's where that continuity happened.

743
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,480
HIPAA whatever what's your name?

744
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,480
HIPAAlata?

745
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,480
Yeah so where it wasn't her no more it was Black Canary.

746
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:15,480
Yeah.

747
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:20,680
And switched bodies with the heroes allowing the villains to learn their secret identities

748
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,880
by casually removing the heroes masks.

749
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,680
How simple.

750
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,920
Although the heroes defeated the villains Zatanna once again erased the villains memories

751
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,320
of the incident and their knowledge of their secret identities.

752
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,160
So they're just playing mind wiping.

753
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,160
Yeah with everybody.

754
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:35,680
It's all of a sudden the men in black.

755
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,680
Kind of yeah.

756
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,880
Got to have Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith pop out.

757
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:44,440
They've actually been part of the DC universe for years but no one knows because they haven't

758
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,440
been.

759
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,440
Everyone's mind has been wiped consistently.

760
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,840
That would be funny.

761
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,420
Would that be Fungalwild?

762
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:59,200
So Green Arrow's words also imply that they have done this on other occasions with their

763
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,440
secret identities were threatened by magic or other means.

764
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:08,160
The heroes locate Dr. Light who has hired the mercenary Deathstroke to protect him.

765
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,400
So got a little bit of intelligence at this point now.

766
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:16,060
During the ensuing battle Light regains his memory and enraged by the violation uses his

767
00:30:16,060 --> 00:30:19,080
formerly lost powers to escape.

768
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,640
So now he's not an underegated villain at this point.

769
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:22,640
Back to normal.

770
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:23,640
Like powerful.

771
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,840
Like he controls light instead of just ray of light.

772
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,280
I'll show you with my sunshine.

773
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,840
He has Superman Superman like bro mother fuck you.

774
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,680
Well he just gets stronger pretty much.

775
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,280
Every time he's Superman with the ray of light you can see his titties get harder.

776
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:41,680
Like his nipples.

777
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,440
Thank you I needed that.

778
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,040
He just fucking clobbers him.

779
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:51,640
I mean I guess he could since he can control light he probably can control like parts of

780
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:55,960
the light spectrum which would also include like radiation and stuff.

781
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,960
So kryptonite radiation.

782
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:58,960
Maybe.

783
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,440
If it was in D level.

784
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:06,960
That's what I'm saying but now that he's got his intelligence back.

785
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,760
So although questioned by Superman Wally West continues to protect the heroes and their

786
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:15,520
secrets but Superman has learned them after eavesdropping on the conversations between

787
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,680
him and green arrow with his enhanced hearing.

788
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,480
So even Superman didn't even know about this.

789
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:21,480
I bet you.

790
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,720
Actually I don't know what Superman would do.

791
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,640
I don't think you would mind the welcome.

792
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,000
He's not that kind of a person generally.

793
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,000
He'd just throw him in jail.

794
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:33,400
Yeah he'd put him in the phantom zone.

795
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:39,200
Superman finds his estranged wife Jean Lorin hanging from a door blindfolded and gagged

796
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,240
and revives her just in time but she is unable to describe her attacker.

797
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,720
But I'm assuming it's Dr. Light.

798
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,000
If I remember well I remember that story now.

799
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,040
A little bit yeah.

800
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,560
I do love me a mystery.

801
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,360
A death threat is then sent to Superman's wife Lowe's Lane.

802
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:01,520
Captain Boomerang Digger Harkness is hired by the third rate villain the calculator on

803
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,760
behalf of the real killer to assassinate Jack Drake.

804
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:05,760
Father of Robin.

805
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,400
I bet you the calculator finds Superman.

806
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,680
I got a 0.17% chance of beating Superman right now.

807
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,680
Let me calculate this out.

808
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,560
I'm like how they put on here if he's the third rate villain.

809
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,320
Yeah I'm assuming he is.

810
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,160
I got a negative 17% chance of surviving this ass woman.

811
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:27,540
So Jack finds a gun and a note warning him of the impending attempt on his life and fatally

812
00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:30,460
shoots Boomerang who also kills him.

813
00:32:30,460 --> 00:32:32,480
So they kill each other.

814
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,980
You know I always found that to be a little bit dramatic right.

815
00:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,720
But one time I was playing this old UFC game.

816
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,480
UFC on the disputed three.

817
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:45,940
And me and the CPU were fighting and we legit knocked each other down.

818
00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:48,220
Like at the exact same time.

819
00:32:48,220 --> 00:32:54,340
I went down right and he got knocked out but I was so confused as to what happened until

820
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:58,440
I realized whenever you get knocked down you kind of pin your head up.

821
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,360
Like up against your chest because you're still like a were right.

822
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,280
But when you're knocked out you lay there like a ragdoll.

823
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,760
And I realized oh wait I'm still conscious so I get up and the ref finally stops the

824
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,760
fight.

825
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,200
And I'm like it was the why I wish I could have recorded it.

826
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,800
Because I've never had a dual knock down before.

827
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,200
Like we just landed at the that's probably the best UFC game of all time by the way.

828
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,160
UFC on the disputed three is the most realistic one.

829
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,360
Like that's real life stuff.

830
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,400
We just dropped each other at the same time.

831
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,160
Like where there was still a couple of those kind of things added into the game.

832
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,600
Yeah but then they fucking EA ruined everything.

833
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,560
EA ruins everything though.

834
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,560
God dang you EA.

835
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,680
We're making the new Batman game.

836
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,720
EA Batman.

837
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:42,840
So after this Tim Drake comes upon the aftermath of this and is comforted by his partner Batman

838
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:48,360
who confiscates the note before the authorities or the media can learn of its existence.

839
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,880
I did like the fact that Tim Drake was the more detective one of the group.

840
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,960
You know Nightwing was the more agile like quicker one.

841
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:55,960
Athletic.

842
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:56,960
Probably the better fighter.

843
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,960
Yes.

844
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:58,960
The tougher.

845
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,400
Like I take a assful of him.

846
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,120
You got to grow up or shut up his ass.

847
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,720
More weapon oriented character.

848
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,400
And more I guess like criminal minded.

849
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,840
Yeah I understood criminals better than.

850
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,840
Better than Nightwing.

851
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,160
I grew up as a criminal family type thing.

852
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,640
Then Tim Drake was the detective that found out Batman's identity.

853
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,080
And Tim Drake was like extremely intelligent too.

854
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,880
Like he doesn't get enough credit for how smart he actually was in the series.

855
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:29,040
Because there was times that he actually figured stuff out before Batman did and you know that

856
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,040
pissed him off.

857
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,040
Yeah my battle hair.

858
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:32,040
He's a little silver pitching.

859
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,240
You know him while I'm the knight.

860
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:38,360
But I think hasn't Tim Drake lasted around the longest as actual Robin?

861
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,120
I don't remember.

862
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,840
I know he had like a I had one issue of Robin.

863
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,680
It was like issue like a hundred something where he fought some guy that would like get

864
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,280
up on a horse.

865
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,240
He could like summon like a demon horse once a night.

866
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,200
But it was like a split personality.

867
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,800
And he was on there for a long time like over a hundred issues.

868
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:58,800
Yeah.

869
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,280
As Tim Drake, Batman or Robin.

870
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:06,200
Yeah because I think I think like obviously Jason Todd wasn't around for that long.

871
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,200
He was Robin.

872
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,600
Oh my god his ass fucking hit him.

873
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,320
By the way that's all your fault Vance.

874
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,320
You're the ones that voted.

875
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,440
Whoever voted for him to get his fucking ass beat you weren't accomplished to murder.

876
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,440
Attempted murder alright.

877
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:18,440
Let's get that one.

878
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:19,600
Let's get that settled 100% right.

879
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,680
You weren't accomplished to murder.

880
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,760
You all said yes killed that little boy.

881
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:24,760
Yes.

882
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:25,760
Don't you ever forget that.

883
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,200
I don't want you to say jack shit.

884
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:34,280
And then Dick Grayson he was like he was known at like in comedy based much longer.

885
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:39,720
But I think that his run as actual just Robin was shorter because he became Nightwing faster

886
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:40,920
I think.

887
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:41,920
And then of course Tim Drake.

888
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,080
Yeah that weird fucking like V neck weird ass first.

889
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,560
Where it looked like ammo strapped around.

890
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,040
Yeah I'm like what the fuck are you wearing?

891
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,880
Like the newest iteration looks so much better.

892
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,560
Am I with three chest hairs?

893
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,600
Yeah that's weird.

894
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:56,600
What one looks better?

895
00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:01,680
Batman with like a fucking like titties full of chest hair or fucking fully shaved?

896
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,520
I'd probably say shaved.

897
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,600
Does it make more sense?

898
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,120
Because I've never had that type of you know those guys that just fucking pull their shirts

899
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,680
off and they're just fucking chested just fucking looks like a fucking silverback gorilla

900
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:15,680
just full of hair.

901
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:24,000
Well the only reason I would say that is because of the like the the utility of it.

902
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,600
Like you're wearing a suit every night.

903
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,680
Shit must chafe.

904
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,320
His fucking butt cheeks must be fucking raw.

905
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,640
That's what the talcum powder is for?

906
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,040
Yeah like just like fucking he just keeps like he's not the only supply of talcum parnal

907
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,120
and gopher can he buy it for no?

908
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,720
He slaps somebody in his white powder.

909
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:43,720
Probably.

910
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:46,760
What the fuck was that Batman?

911
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:47,760
Nothing.

912
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,840
Don't ask questions.

913
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,880
Like Jim Gordon has always known who Batman was because he just falls a fucking talcum

914
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,840
powder troll back that's goddamn Wayne Manning.

915
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,240
That's the only way he can pull on the tights.

916
00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:59,040
Oh man that would be tight to put on.

917
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,240
That's why I said I don't know if he would have the chest hair because it'd snag every

918
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:03,240
time.

919
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:04,240
That shit would fucking hurt.

920
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:07,400
He goes to go peel it off and it's like ahhh.

921
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,720
Oh yeah that would I guess he would be shit.

922
00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:11,280
That's why I said utility wise.

923
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:17,120
He just so canonically he's fully hairless from like the neck down.

924
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,920
I mean that was utilitarian wise I would think so.

925
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,200
I don't think it was ever drawn that way though.

926
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,400
Fucking when the Flash comes in and talks to Batman and you see him put rubbing baby

927
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,680
oil on his chest and ass.

928
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,960
What can I do for you Wally West?

929
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,720
So that way you can slide in and the Flash is fucking traumatized.

930
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,880
How can I help you?

931
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:41,600
He's the fucking rubbing baby oil on his legs on his fucking shiny ass legs.

932
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,640
I'd be like what the fuck.

933
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,040
So that way you can slide it all on.

934
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,040
Fuck I gotta wear my z.

935
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,080
It's like we know you do it too Wally.

936
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,040
My suit's elastic it just comes on.

937
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,520
Fuck I started crying.

938
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,520
Superman I don't think he can shave his chest hair.

939
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,880
He had to laser that shit off.

940
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,960
Yeah remember that's did you know that's canonical now?

941
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:04,960
Like the way he shaves.

942
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,040
He has to use the laser because he can't shave.

943
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,160
You know in a mirror.

944
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,640
Like whenever it comes up as a thing of how would he do that?

945
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:17,560
And then it's like he turns the mirror so he can shave.

946
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,560
It should be awkward.

947
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,760
I gotta shave my back hair.

948
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,600
Like 50 beers in this fucking bathroom.

949
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,440
He was hitting every single one.

950
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,960
He's gonna be like you gotta be a master of calculus and geometry.

951
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,880
It's like if I angle this I can hit my ball sack.

952
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:37,040
Oh that one got me.

953
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:43,800
If I angle this right I can hit my ball sack.

954
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,800
Oh man.

955
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,000
That'll look good for Lois Lane.

956
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,680
Oh but you're trying to shave his ass hairs and stuff and just it hits the wrong spot.

957
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,520
Oh my fucking ball sack.

958
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,400
He hits the back of his ball sack.

959
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,040
He must have fucking grapes for balls I can already tell.

960
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,640
I can tell.

961
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:01,640
Just fucking hanging.

962
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,400
You can hear him hammer each other when he walks.

963
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,920
Clank clank.

964
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,760
Alright where were we?

965
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,400
So after Tim Drake finds his dad dead.

966
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,400
Oh fuck.

967
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,640
I got depressing quick.

968
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,920
So during the questioning of several villains by the heroes, former league member Firestorm,

969
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,880
which is Ronnie Raymond, is stabbed through the chest by Shadow Thief with Shining Knight's

970
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:24,880
Sword.

971
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,880
God dang.

972
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:26,880
Everyone's just getting fucking murdered.

973
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:27,880
Yes.

974
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:32,520
The nuclear powers reach critical mass and he detonates in the atmosphere.

975
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:37,760
Wally West questions Green Arrow again after accidentally seeing a snapshot of the battle

976
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:43,800
on the satellite in Light's mind, which reveals that Batman was also present during the entire

977
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,920
mind wipe and stuff like that.

978
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:46,920
He'd have to be yeah.

979
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:47,920
Yeah.

980
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:48,920
Which.

981
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:49,920
Assuming his mind isn't wiped.

982
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,040
Well his mind was wiped.

983
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,040
Oh he would have been fucking livid.

984
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,040
He was.

985
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,040
What the fuck up Batman.

986
00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:00,480
So Green Arrow confesses that Batman had left immediately after the battle but unexpectedly

987
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,960
returned just as the mind wipe was taking place.

988
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,440
He disapproved of this and nearly attacked the other heroes.

989
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:11,280
He was then magically restrained and his memory of the incident was removed.

990
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,200
He was fucking livid.

991
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:15,200
Yeah.

992
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,920
Batman locates the Calculator's hideout at this point but discovers the villain anticipated

993
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:19,920
this and abandoned it.

994
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,320
I would have been a 30% chance no one would find me and then Batman would come and say

995
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:24,320
fuck.

996
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,320
Fuck.

997
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:31,000
The autopsy of Sue Dindy's body by Dr. Midnight and Mr. Terrific, two characters you don't

998
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000
really see very often.

999
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
Mr. Terrific.

1000
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:37,200
He never gets a lot of play in the actual mainstream universe.

1001
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,120
He doesn't but he's a good character.

1002
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,560
You can actually do I think a pretty good movie with just him.

1003
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:43,560
Mr. Terrific.

1004
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,560
Like if it was just like about him and like maybe a couple of JSA members thrown in there.

1005
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,720
Sounds like a good superhero name too.

1006
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:49,720
Mr. Terrific.

1007
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:50,720
Yeah.

1008
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720
Dr. Midnight too.

1009
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:55,040
You don't really hear about him but he was a pretty decent character for what he was.

1010
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,040
Wow cat.

1011
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,040
Was that his name?

1012
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,560
Oh yeah the one that like wow cat.

1013
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,800
The one that taught Batman how to box canonically.

1014
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:02,800
Yeah.

1015
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:03,800
Yeah.

1016
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,520
They realize as does Batman in the course of his own investigation that Dibny was murdered

1017
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:12,960
by someone who had access to Ray Palmer's technology which was the atom that he used

1018
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,520
to shrink himself to subatomic size.

1019
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,600
Almost simultaneously Palmer learns that Gene is aware of the note that was sent to Jack

1020
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:26,400
Drake which was it had been kept a secret by the League themselves and realizes that

1021
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,400
she's the killer.

1022
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:28,640
Some shady shit going on.

1023
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:29,640
Yes.

1024
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,440
So Lorraine claims that she did not mean to kill Sue and that it was not her intention

1025
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:38,080
for Jack Drake to be killed as well arguing that she sent the note and the gun so that

1026
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,080
he could protect himself.

1027
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,200
Lorraine states that she and I like that here's a gun with the most powerful beings in all

1028
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,200
of existence.

1029
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,200
Here's a gun.

1030
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,200
Yeah.

1031
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:48,200
This is okay.

1032
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,200
Just look at him.

1033
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,960
Lorraine and her friend Alexander took the plan including faking an attempt on her own

1034
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:56,220
life in order to bring Ray back into her life.

1035
00:41:56,220 --> 00:41:58,600
Realizing that Lorraine is an insane person at this point.

1036
00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,600
Hopefully yeah.

1037
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,820
They had a normal actual reactor.

1038
00:42:00,820 --> 00:42:02,960
Bitch are you fucking crazy?

1039
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:07,780
He has her committed to Arkham Asylum before being wracked by guilt over his former wife's

1040
00:42:07,780 --> 00:42:09,420
actions and then disappearing.

1041
00:42:09,420 --> 00:42:10,560
That's fucking wild.

1042
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,400
Because he disappeared into the subatomic realm.

1043
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,400
Basically.

1044
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,620
So he just fucking dipped.

1045
00:42:14,620 --> 00:42:15,620
I'll see you guys later.

1046
00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:16,620
Yep.

1047
00:42:16,620 --> 00:42:17,620
My man.

1048
00:42:17,620 --> 00:42:21,480
So in the Justice League, this Justice League series, Wally West is awkward in the presence

1049
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:25,480
of Batman who is suspicious of his behavior after this.

1050
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,720
So then we have some aftermath right?

1051
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:32,320
The ramifications of Identity Crisis are depicted in the title Flash as his rogue's gallery

1052
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,840
villains that band together.

1053
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,640
They have a funeral for Boomerang.

1054
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,780
So it's actually shown for them.

1055
00:42:38,780 --> 00:42:43,300
Also in the one shot Countdown to Infinite Crisis as well as the tie ins.

1056
00:42:43,300 --> 00:42:48,560
The OMAC project and the title JLA which reveals that Batman remembered the events in question

1057
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,480
at some point afterwards.

1058
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,920
So like he actually regained his memory as well about how they wiped his mind and all

1059
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:54,920
that kind of shit.

1060
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,800
He's taking a shit like what the fucking.

1061
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,860
What the fucking.

1062
00:42:58,860 --> 00:43:03,600
Which explains his paranoia against both heroes and villains that lead to him creating a Brother

1063
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,480
Mark MK1 satellite.

1064
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:07,480
So the Brother satellite.

1065
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:08,480
The OMAC.

1066
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,480
Did he make some OMAC too?

1067
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,480
Yeah that's part of OMAC.

1068
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:19,920
It's basically to monitor super humans which is an important factor in the 2005-2006 crossover

1069
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,240
storyline of Infinite Crisis.

1070
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:27,400
It is revealed that the storyline of the Justice League's mind manipulation, Gene Loring's

1071
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:32,800
turn to villainy and Sue Didney's rape by Dr. Light were three of the many indirect

1072
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:38,820
actions affected by Alexander Luther Jr. and Superboy Prime which were caused by the overlaps

1073
00:43:38,820 --> 00:43:43,920
of parallel timelines from their pocket universe since the Crisis on Infinite Earth series.

1074
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:44,920
Eesh.

1075
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,920
It's a mouthful.

1076
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:51,400
So it's all because of the actions of Alexander Luther Jr. and Superboy Prime.

1077
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,040
Or Superman Prime at one point.

1078
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,400
But they all led to that kind of stuff.

1079
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,480
And it also had a until the New 52 reset every fucking thing.

1080
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:05,820
It also had when you would have Zatanna and Batman in the same vicinity.

1081
00:44:05,820 --> 00:44:10,360
Like she was a love interest at one point for him but he never trusted her fully after

1082
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:11,360
that.

1083
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,360
After he learned that she mind wiped him.

1084
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:13,360
What else have you done?

1085
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,360
Did you try to peg me?

1086
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,240
Did you wipe my mind?

1087
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:17,240
You bitch.

1088
00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:21,800
And then Gene Loring went on to become Eclipso and the Day of Vengeance series.

1089
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:22,800
Oh that was her?

1090
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:23,800
Yeah.

1091
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,720
He lived on the fucking dark side of the sun?

1092
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:26,720
Yeah.

1093
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,720
I love that series.

1094
00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:30,720
It's one of my favorites.

1095
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:32,720
Yeah that's Identity Crisis.

1096
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:37,400
I had all the issues the night that I sold them back to Vintage Stock.

1097
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,480
But I actually bought all the Day of Vengeance issues.

1098
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:40,480
I still have them too.

1099
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,480
I'm fucking mad I gotta go back and get them.

1100
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,880
They're probably still there.

1101
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:45,880
Nobody bought them.

1102
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:46,880
Yeah exactly.

1103
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:52,000
And for me personally it's just an overlooked little mini series.

1104
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,080
One of those things that's like niche enough but still mainstream enough that it's known

1105
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,000
but it's not as well read.

1106
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:03,960
Like people know the events that took place somewhat in it but they don't actually know

1107
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,320
everything because it was like a tie in to so many other things.

1108
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:12,640
But it's also how you have a lot of the older Magiccasters and stuff die off.

1109
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:17,120
Oh yeah because on top of the issues isn't there a countdown to Infinity something?

1110
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,640
Yeah Infinity Crisis.

1111
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:24,160
So it was part of the whole countdown to Infinite Crisis itself which was Alexander Luther Jr.

1112
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,160
and Superboy Prime.

1113
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,160
Superboy Prime.

1114
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,360
He's like I'm a man now.

1115
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,040
I'm a man I'm Superman.

1116
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,680
So man's like fuck you.

1117
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:32,680
You're just a boy.

1118
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,600
You ain't a man so you have to shave your own balls with your laser beams.

1119
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:40,560
I say you know you're a man.

1120
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,200
You gotta use your laser beams.

1121
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,160
This shit must be thick as fuck too.

1122
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,200
Just don't fuck at Farris down there.

1123
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,880
Imagine what he can swamp ass.

1124
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:55,920
I bet you he calls the Thor's hammer too his cock.

1125
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,240
Thor's I don't you ever call it that.

1126
00:45:58,240 --> 00:46:00,560
It's like we'll lift it then.

1127
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,680
Only the warden can lift it.

1128
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,040
It's like Mjolnir.

1129
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,040
Basically yeah.

1130
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,760
Alright you ready for some Reddit?

1131
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:09,760
Yep.

1132
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,560
These are all from today.

1133
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,520
Oh no consequences.

1134
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,800
Oh no the consequences of my own actions.

1135
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,280
I actually found some good ones though.

1136
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,320
Somewhat good ones we'll see how they go.

1137
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:21,920
Oh man my back okay.

1138
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,640
Your back you're cracked.

1139
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,840
What is it like my neck my back my pussy and my crack.

1140
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:28,840
Or no what is it?

1141
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:29,840
My neck my back.

1142
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,840
I don't remember the actual line.

1143
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,600
I don't either.

1144
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:40,480
Alright so this person there's a person that posted this and somebody put on there like

1145
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,200
with the tag oh no consequences.

1146
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:48,920
So this person said we have been in Washington state for almost eight months now.

1147
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:49,960
Full timers.

1148
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,160
And this place never stops raining.

1149
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,560
In eight months we have only probably seen the sun for two weeks only.

1150
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:59,520
Fuck I would love it if like where we live right rain usually accompanies some other

1151
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:00,520
horrific stuff.

1152
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,680
But I just love some just nice rain.

1153
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:08,160
I want to sit down on my porch and like smoke my tobacco and watch the rain in my wheelchair

1154
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:13,360
in my like little rocking chair like it's good rain.

1155
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,320
They also put it's a beautiful state if people say to me well it's green and I'm like yeah

1156
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,480
well that's because it never stops raining.

1157
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,920
This place has been so depressing and I feel like I'm going through depression.

1158
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:28,180
We have a 280 square foot gray wolf I'm assuming like camper.

1159
00:47:28,180 --> 00:47:30,420
And I honestly can't wait to get out of this state.

1160
00:47:30,420 --> 00:47:34,460
We come here to work our traveling business with our friends and I don't know how they

1161
00:47:34,460 --> 00:47:36,320
do it.

1162
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,760
We're from Cali and we have never seen so much rain.

1163
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,340
Thanks for listening though.

1164
00:47:41,340 --> 00:47:45,360
But the person that responded to this put oh no consequences you go to a rainforest

1165
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,280
area and it rains.

1166
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:52,320
Because Washington state is like a rainforest area.

1167
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:53,320
Is it?

1168
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:54,960
Yeah it's technically considered a rainforest almost.

1169
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:55,960
Okay.

1170
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,880
I think it's considered a temporal rainforest.

1171
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:04,160
So like northern style rainforest because they get so much rain.

1172
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:05,160
Like that's the point.

1173
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,800
Be nice just live with the rain.

1174
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,800
I fucking hate the rain.

1175
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,880
Now if I didn't work where I work I wouldn't mind it as much but.

1176
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:15,880
Fucking hate the rain.

1177
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:19,520
Alright this person next one puts.

1178
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,480
Let's see.

1179
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,480
Blah blah blah.

1180
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,720
Alright so this person puts.

1181
00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:31,880
Shaking my head this one is short and sweet.

1182
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,440
I live in a small apartment building a few blocks north of Wrigley Field where the Cubs

1183
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:36,440
play.

1184
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,000
And the season has unfortunately just begun.

1185
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,700
Our building has a small private unfenced lot for private residents parking and due

1186
00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:48,920
to our proximity to the ballpark we are frequent targets of out of towners looking to park

1187
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,800
close to Wrigley Field for free.

1188
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:56,640
Most of us know better than to leave our spots during a ballgame but tonight one of my neighbors

1189
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,560
had left his spot.

1190
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,120
Only to find some jackass from out of town had parked in his spot.

1191
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:08,040
Well unfortunately the spot seller was nowhere to be found in my neighborhood whenever my

1192
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,460
neighbor returned.

1193
00:49:09,460 --> 00:49:13,760
And so in a particularly inspired stroke of genius my neighbor simply parked him in.

1194
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,800
Where he couldn't get out.

1195
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,880
Our lot is an odd diagonal block which means my neighbor was able to pull a behind the

1196
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:25,280
spot seller without his own SUV hanging out into the alley.

1197
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,600
It was tight but it worked.

1198
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,260
Cut to several hours later.

1199
00:49:29,260 --> 00:49:30,480
The Cubs game is over.

1200
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,800
Throngs of people are spilling out into the streets and I'm at home getting some work

1201
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:38,360
done whenever I hear some particularly aggravated honking.

1202
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,960
My office looks out onto the back lot.

1203
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:45,040
Elevators first floor and I annoyingly ignored the first few honks but after 15 minutes or

1204
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:50,760
so of this honking I went over to the window opened it and shouted at the car to quit honking.

1205
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,800
The spot seller who rolls down his window and gestures to the SUV blocking him in.

1206
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,360
Do you know whose car this is?

1207
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,360
He asks.

1208
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,320
No but dude you gotta knock it off there's kids sleeping.

1209
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:02,320
There were no kids.

1210
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,920
He's like fuck them kids.

1211
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,720
There were no kids but it's 10pm and I'm deeply annoyed.

1212
00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:09,000
And then I shut my window.

1213
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:13,040
Sure enough no more honking but I kept peeking out every few minutes.

1214
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,800
After about half an hour I heard a car door slam and I looked out to see the spot stealer

1215
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:21,520
and his girlfriend frustratedly leaving the car, look around in desperation and eventually

1216
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:22,520
leave.

1217
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,520
Oof.

1218
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:29,360
Enjoy taking public transit back to Napperville and coming back in a $150 Uber for your car

1219
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,080
tomorrow jackass.

1220
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:35,200
Hopefully he's now learned what happens whenever you park in a spot that isn't yours.

1221
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,000
Oh no consequences.

1222
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:44,240
Someone fucking writes you're kinda welcome around here on this shit windshield.

1223
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:50,040
Alright next one is by oh I didn't catch the name on that one.

1224
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,040
By Diddy.

1225
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,040
Diddy Diddy.

1226
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,040
Yeah.

1227
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,040
The diddler.

1228
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:58,480
The post is this is somebody that caught a post right.

1229
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,960
I hate my fucking apartment complex.

1230
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,520
They just towed my fucking car.

1231
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,680
I was parked in a handicapped stop which I park there all the time.

1232
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:06,680
I'm over it.

1233
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:07,680
$155?

1234
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,280
In the headline.

1235
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,400
Non-handicapped person parks in a handicapped spot.

1236
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:13,400
Gets towed.

1237
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:14,400
Oh no consequences.

1238
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,400
What can you do?

1239
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:17,400
Don't park in a handicap.

1240
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:18,400
You're not handicapped.

1241
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:19,400
Exactly.

1242
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,880
What did you expect was going to happen?

1243
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,240
Alright next one.

1244
00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:28,680
I'm not sure why I am posting this but I probably want some validation as my life turned upside

1245
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:29,680
down recently.

1246
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:35,280
I a 32 year old male was married to my wife at 33 for a 14 year old female.

1247
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,840
Oh that's the diddler.

1248
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:40,920
That would completely change the whole trajectory of the story.

1249
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:42,960
Yes it would.

1250
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:43,960
For four years.

1251
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:44,960
Oh my lord.

1252
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:49,920
The synergy of the son is like oh you don't want to say that.

1253
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:50,920
No.

1254
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,560
No no no we don't want to go there.

1255
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:57,760
It's like that fucking storyline in that Transformers movie with Mark Wahlberg.

1256
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:58,760
Yeah.

1257
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:05,320
And then after his daughter was dating some guy that was older than her by apparently

1258
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:10,160
enough age that they had to be pretended to be Romeo and Juliet law.

1259
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:16,560
And the boyfriend had the law laminated in his wallet to tell people like if they ever

1260
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:17,920
asked him why they were dating.

1261
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:24,400
Because we had a pre-existing date back in high school so now it's protected under the

1262
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:25,400
law.

1263
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,480
Like look at you fucking pedophile.

1264
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:34,040
If you need a fucking laminated little thing to somehow what's the word I'm looking for.

1265
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:35,520
Just to justify ow that my back.

1266
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,000
Oh that one bit me.

1267
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,000
Oh.

1268
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:44,200
To justify your morally wrong relationship.

1269
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,680
Well think about it though there's a lot of seniors that date freshmen.

1270
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,480
That's exactly yeah so what happened.

1271
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:57,000
He was a senior he aged out and then they hooked back up later on and she's like much

1272
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:58,000
younger or something.

1273
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:59,000
It was so fucking weird.

1274
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:00,000
Yeah.

1275
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:01,560
Maybe she was 16 he was 20 or something.

1276
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,000
But it's like come on bro you couldn't find someone your own age.

1277
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,680
Apparently not.

1278
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:12,520
So let's see I was madly in love with my wife.

1279
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,840
She fell into depression mainly due to her job in 2022.

1280
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:21,920
I tried to support her in every way and suggested her going to a gym or doing any kind of sports

1281
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:22,920
to de-stress.

1282
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:27,480
I had my own depression episode before we got married and what saved me.

1283
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,600
What's his choices?

1284
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,280
What saved him is going to the gym.

1285
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:35,720
So it was like from experience saying hey I want to start working out and feel better.

1286
00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:40,320
You know you read a book learn to paint garden but he's like you should work out because

1287
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:41,320
you're fat as fuck.

1288
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,020
What do I feel like he's trying to do.

1289
00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:45,920
She agreed to that and we started going together.

1290
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,900
So I guess not even him saying go by yourself.

1291
00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:50,080
He's going with her.

1292
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:55,160
I can not go as frequently as in my past since I had a workload got heavier after my promotion.

1293
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,900
However I tried my best to be there with her.

1294
00:53:57,900 --> 00:53:59,680
She used to be a bitch heavy.

1295
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:01,680
I fucking knew it.

1296
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,040
Which I loved.

1297
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,040
I love him.

1298
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:05,040
I love me some big girls.

1299
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:06,040
I know.

1300
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,040
So I sent you that one little clip.

1301
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:09,040
Yeah.

1302
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:13,300
And after seeing some changes with her body she started to go there regularly.

1303
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:15,840
It also helped with her depression and she got better.

1304
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,460
I was really happy to see her get better and livelier.

1305
00:54:18,460 --> 00:54:21,640
She looked more confident got more aggressive in bed and so on.

1306
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,520
God dang.

1307
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,880
My asshole hasn't been the same since.

1308
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:30,300
However after a while that confidence level started to affect our relationship for worse.

1309
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:33,240
She started going to the parties and going outside to a point she completely stopped

1310
00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:36,520
doing her share share in the house.

1311
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,320
That proceeded with me seeing her getting flirty with a guy at a meetup.

1312
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:41,320
We went.

1313
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:42,320
That we went to.

1314
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:43,320
I never understand that.

1315
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,320
Like I've been thin.

1316
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,720
I've been as low as like 154 pounds.

1317
00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:50,840
I'm like 280 now.

1318
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:54,240
And I've never changed my personality.

1319
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:56,360
But I never became a fucking douche bag.

1320
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:57,360
Right.

1321
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,760
Like so there's something about certain people that you know like when they lose that type

1322
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:01,760
of weight right.

1323
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:04,480
Their real personality comes out and it's fucking terrible.

1324
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:06,520
So the same thing about you know people getting rich.

1325
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:07,520
Yeah.

1326
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:08,520
Like it changes them.

1327
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:09,920
No it just shows who they really are.

1328
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,760
Because like my cousin was kind of like that.

1329
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:15,440
Like he lost a few pounds and he became a douche bag.

1330
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:16,440
He got fat again.

1331
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:17,440
He's back to normal.

1332
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,440
Confidence went away real quick.

1333
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,920
But it's not even confidence.

1334
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:21,920
It's like an arrogance.

1335
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:22,920
Yeah.

1336
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,840
Well it's like confidence taken to the extreme.

1337
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:26,840
It's I guess.

1338
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:27,840
But I don't know.

1339
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,640
Like it just it would probably be the wrong way.

1340
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,400
So now she's like she fucking left me.

1341
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:32,400
She took the kids.

1342
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:33,400
The dog.

1343
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,920
Well he put I communicated my feelings with her and she dismissed these.

1344
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:40,520
After several of these I had a sit down with her and she told me that she was riding high

1345
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,240
on her newfound confidence and emotions right now.

1346
00:55:43,240 --> 00:55:47,960
I clearly stated that she not make decisions or actions according to that confidence right

1347
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,960
now and think it over.

1348
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:51,680
I know it well.

1349
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:58,480
Basically I guess after he lost weight too he kind of had that same kind of thought process.

1350
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,960
It was one of my worst traits.

1351
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,520
I used to be extremely emotionally driven in the past.

1352
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:06,960
I suggested we go to marriage counselor and all hell broke loose.

1353
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:10,480
She said vile things to me like how she realized she settled down with me after getting back

1354
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,640
in better and that she could do much better than me.

1355
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:13,640
Damn.

1356
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,120
I said I am insecure and other things.

1357
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:18,280
This woman used to be the sweetest person on earth and I was shocked after hearing these

1358
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,120
things that she said to me.

1359
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,420
She filed for divorce the following month and I did not hear much from her other than

1360
00:56:24,420 --> 00:56:28,580
some lawyers talk or lawyer talks I guess.

1361
00:56:28,580 --> 00:56:33,320
Our court scene scene is scheduled to be next month and my lawyer told me there is a high

1362
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,840
chance I'll be it'll be concluded then.

1363
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:38,580
There is not much to share.

1364
00:56:38,580 --> 00:56:44,120
Similar income, only shared asset is our joint account of our bank account, similar savings

1365
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,440
and no kids.

1366
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:47,720
House is my mom so it's out of the division.

1367
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:48,720
Yay.

1368
00:56:48,720 --> 00:56:50,840
So he's kind of getting like out of it.

1369
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:51,840
Like scoff free almost.

1370
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,280
Or as good as you can.

1371
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:57,720
I accepted my marriage is going to end like that.

1372
00:56:57,720 --> 00:57:00,520
Last week she called crying and told me that she regrets everything.

1373
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,520
Was she getting she came 15 pounds?

1374
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:03,560
Probably.

1375
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,560
She apologized over and over but I felt disappointed.

1376
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,960
Not angry, not sad, but just disappointed.

1377
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:14,000
She did not text me or even call me once since the divorce started up until this point.

1378
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,120
He's just like you know what don't tell me tell it to the diddler and you f*****g hang

1379
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:17,120
thing.

1380
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:21,360
I did not even know where she had been since she had left my home.

1381
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,400
I told her there is no going back now.

1382
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,320
She has been messaging me nonstop.

1383
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:29,220
My family supports my decision and tell me that I should not back down.

1384
00:57:29,220 --> 00:57:31,920
My in-laws were shocked whenever they heard about the divorce.

1385
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,920
They are now telling me to rethink everything.

1386
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,840
No you should have raised your daughter better.

1387
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:37,840
Yeah.

1388
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:38,840
How f**k was that?

1389
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:39,840
Was that you?

1390
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:40,840
I'm like what?

1391
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,360
Because it's not over here on my right side.

1392
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,040
Is that your phone?

1393
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:46,040
Uh oh.

1394
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:47,040
That was weird.

1395
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:52,040
That's what it was.

1396
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:53,040
Oh okay.

1397
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:58,400
I want 99.9% not back down but as I said just looking for valid.

1398
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,640
I'm ready to go 100.

1399
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:01,920
And maybe one at a vent.

1400
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:03,360
Thank you for reading this though.

1401
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,160
By the way you know what some say they give 110%?

1402
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,360
You know what the 10% is?

1403
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:09,360
Steroids.

1404
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:10,360
Yes.

1405
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:11,520
Every time.

1406
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:13,360
That or cocaine.

1407
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:14,360
Or crack.

1408
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,280
Or crack.

1409
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:22,680
So the title for this one by the person that reposted this from Am I the Asshole is.

1410
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,240
My guess is yes.

1411
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:31,760
Well the guy that posted it anyway was part of the Am I the Asshole and everybody is like

1412
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,160
you're not the asshole.

1413
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:34,160
There she is.

1414
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:38,280
But the person that reposted this to Oh No Consequences they titled it.

1415
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,240
Waf left me after she got in shape and now wants to get back together.

1416
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:42,240
Oh no.

1417
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,280
She got out of shape.

1418
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,760
She got back out of shape again.

1419
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:47,760
Weird.

1420
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,520
Alrighty.

1421
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:50,520
Next one.

1422
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:51,520
This person puts.

1423
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:56,640
I, a 42 year old female, have a daughter Mia, 17, who attends all my school.

1424
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,080
I have a daughter, 47.

1425
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,600
I would be fucking around with people so much.

1426
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:12,480
I, a 37 year old man, have a daughter, a 32 year old daughter, who attends all my school

1427
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:17,080
and her best friend Emily, who's the same age, who she met in 6th grade.

1428
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,800
Last year Mia started slipping with her grades a lot.

1429
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:23,400
She did have trouble in school before but it was usually just math and science based

1430
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:24,400
subjects.

1431
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,400
Jesus math.

1432
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:26,400
You have this fucking brutal.

1433
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,000
Can you relate to that?

1434
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:35,480
I'm so good at like, well, no I used to be good at science because back in 6th grade

1435
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:40,120
the teacher would yell out your grade depending on, well while she was grading in the class.

1436
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:43,680
So it'd be like Steven, 86.

1437
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:45,320
And then like Noir, 89.

1438
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:51,840
I was always the number one back then and I guess I just fell off.

1439
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,000
So I'm like I'm relatively smart if I apply myself.

1440
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,240
I just don't do it.

1441
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,400
Just math doesn't stick for you.

1442
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:02,800
Uh, yes, but not like, practical math.

1443
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:03,800
Practical math, yes.

1444
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,120
Like you know working in retail, you know like you can knock out change no problem.

1445
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,200
Here you go, here you go, here you go.

1446
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:11,640
Like at the top of my head.

1447
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:12,640
It's the algebra.

1448
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:13,800
It's like it's the random stuff.

1449
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:14,800
Like I don't need to know jigonometry.

1450
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:15,800
What?

1451
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:16,800
The fuck is jigonometry?

1452
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:17,800
It's like beyond trigonometry.

1453
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:18,800
It's god damn trigonometry.

1454
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:19,800
It's the science of the, it's the math.

1455
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:20,800
It's the math.

1456
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:21,800
It's the math.

1457
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:22,800
It's the math.

1458
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:23,800
It's the math.

1459
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:24,800
It's the math.

1460
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:25,800
It's the math.

1461
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:26,800
It's the math.

1462
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:27,800
It's the math.

1463
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:28,800
It's the mathematics for time travel jigonometry.

1464
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,720
It's the 8 dimensional map.

1465
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:35,480
But uh, like stuff like that, like geometry and like trigonometry.

1466
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:38,400
I'm like okay I'm not gonna be a fucking architect.

1467
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:42,000
Like if you learn it fine but I don't think you need to, like you need to learn it for

1468
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,420
normal basic everyday shit.

1469
01:00:43,420 --> 01:00:46,800
Like those, those, those, those guys in ancient times using the fucking trajectory of the

1470
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,320
sun to find out the fucking earth is round.

1471
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,040
Like I won't even, I won't even know.

1472
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,120
It's like well I live here.

1473
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:54,120
I don't know.

1474
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,120
That bitch is flat.

1475
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:56,120
She's like fuck you.

1476
01:00:56,120 --> 01:01:02,500
Alright so uh, she struggled in these two classes right?

1477
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:04,720
And reached out for help whenever she needed it.

1478
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,680
This was due to a mental health crisis since our house had burned down.

1479
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:08,680
God.

1480
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,120
A lot of valuable things were lost.

1481
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:12,720
You shoulda left with that.

1482
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:17,680
Also varying health scares and surgeries with close family members also contributed to this.

1483
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:23,580
I put Mia into counseling and worked out a deal with her school where in short she only

1484
01:01:23,580 --> 01:01:27,440
had to keep her grades passing or above passing in order to graduate.

1485
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:28,440
So not straight.

1486
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,440
So just regular fucking clarifying?

1487
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:30,440
Yeah.

1488
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:31,440
Passing?

1489
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:32,440
Yeah that's normal.

1490
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:33,440
That's how you pass.

1491
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:34,440
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

1492
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,440
So she, D's?

1493
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:36,440
Oh yeah.

1494
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:37,440
Like oh thank you.

1495
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,080
Passing or barely above passing.

1496
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,080
Right.

1497
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:42,320
That's, that's, that's the given.

1498
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:43,320
Apparently not here.

1499
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:44,320
I don't know.

1500
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:45,320
What the fuck?

1501
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:48,740
Mia improved a lot after that and she kept her grades above passing ever since then for

1502
01:01:48,740 --> 01:01:50,680
graduation this next month.

1503
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:55,880
Susan, Emily's mom, had gotten the same deal but Emily hadn't bothered to keep up.

1504
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:59,920
Emily also is struggling in school but from what Susan and my daughter says she doesn't

1505
01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:01,880
actually try to improve.

1506
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:07,360
Mia herself has tried to help Emily on subjects that she does well in like history and English

1507
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,640
in the past and it did work a little.

1508
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:10,640
I have one two good things.

1509
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:11,640
History and English.

1510
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:15,840
It was for her too.

1511
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:19,720
And it did work for a little bit but then her grades dropped again.

1512
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:23,760
I was on the phone with Susan earlier and she was venting to me about how if Emily didn't

1513
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:28,820
complete her overdue work and her grades in the next two weeks she wouldn't graduate and

1514
01:02:28,820 --> 01:02:31,160
would have to repeat her senior year.

1515
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,620
She then asked me if Mia could take on the responsibility of getting the majority of

1516
01:02:34,620 --> 01:02:38,160
Emily's work done so that Emily can have passing grades and graduate.

1517
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,280
I'm like no.

1518
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:44,320
So she basically wanted her daughter to do her daughters full schoolwork.

1519
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:45,320
Yeah fuck that.

1520
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,860
Yeah I'm like what the fuck are you talking about?

1521
01:02:47,860 --> 01:02:53,040
I was really shocked that she would ask and asked her if she was joking about this.

1522
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:56,040
Susan confirmed that she was in fact not joking.

1523
01:02:56,040 --> 01:03:00,400
She said that it would be really nice if my daughter would help out her best friend like

1524
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:01,400
that.

1525
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:03,800
Hey man I got some best friends I'm not doing your fucking schoolwork.

1526
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:04,800
Fuck that no.

1527
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:05,800
You'll be alright bro.

1528
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:06,800
Take it slow.

1529
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:07,800
It'll be cool.

1530
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:10,000
Just catching fucking crying in the fucking locker room.

1531
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,000
Will you help back again?

1532
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:16,080
I'm twenty seven years old.

1533
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,080
Forty.

1534
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:21,120
What's a legitimate old age to be still in high school?

1535
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,120
Nine twenty.

1536
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,120
Oh lord.

1537
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,720
Still in high school twenty fucking years old.

1538
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,720
Or imagine you're twenty one drinking and still in school.

1539
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,160
You come in to your morning class with a beer.

1540
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:35,080
What we learned today teach.

1541
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,000
I gave her a hard no.

1542
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:40,800
Not only was that super against the school's policies and could get them both kicked out

1543
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:45,200
before graduation but Emily has an insane amount of overdue work and Mia has her own

1544
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:50,040
work to focus on that would really hurt her grades if ignored in favor of Emily's.

1545
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:56,960
Susan tried to argue with me and plea her case to me but I hung up on her without thinking.

1546
01:03:56,960 --> 01:04:00,480
Later on Susan sent me multiple screenshots of Emily's overdue homework.

1547
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,800
Twenty eight in total and said that Mia would only have to do half of that.

1548
01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:05,800
Fucking fourteen.

1549
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:08,360
I ain't doing fourteen and nothing.

1550
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:12,720
I told this to my husband thinking that he'd agree with me that it's an insane request

1551
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:13,720
but to my surprise.

1552
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:16,040
I didn't like the fact that when you were thinking that he would.

1553
01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:18,440
I didn't like that phrase at all.

1554
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:23,400
But to my surprise he said that I should consider it since Mia is doing way better than school

1555
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:27,040
than she was before and Emily has been her best friend for seven years.

1556
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,040
I would stop right there right?

1557
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,320
I'd be like are you fucking Emily's mom?

1558
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:31,320
Exactly.

1559
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:32,760
Like are you fucking Susan?

1560
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:35,920
Yeah like I'm gonna stop the whole conversation.

1561
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:38,280
They know fucking why you side with someone else's wife.

1562
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:39,280
No.

1563
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,280
Over your own.

1564
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:41,280
Absolutely.

1565
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:46,680
You're dead fucking wrong and you gotta stand on that hill and hold that fucking line like

1566
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,360
a dumb moron.

1567
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,520
And then say something behind it in private.

1568
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:52,000
Yeah like best you fucking stupid.

1569
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,000
Fuck you thinking.

1570
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,600
You don't do it in front of everybody though.

1571
01:04:56,600 --> 01:05:01,720
He also thought that it would probably make both girls feel horrible if one graduated

1572
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,120
while the other one was left behind.

1573
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:04,120
I wouldn't feel that bad.

1574
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:05,120
Fucking stupid.

1575
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:11,920
I don't think I'm an asshole but Susan and my husband seem to think otherwise.

1576
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,560
What the fuck is up with the husband all of a sudden?

1577
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:16,840
Turn the page here.

1578
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,960
I would greatly appreciate outside perspective.

1579
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:20,440
And then there's an edit.

1580
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:22,960
Yeah it says your husband's fucking her by the way.

1581
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:27,320
This is the deal that they get half of their credits waived if they keep their grades at

1582
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:32,640
or above passing in their regular courses and credit recovery courses along with extracurricular

1583
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:33,640
work.

1584
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,080
So their GPA gets to be a bump too.

1585
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:39,480
So they get like credit basically.

1586
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:43,880
So even if they have D's if they get passing grades on everything they raise them up on

1587
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:45,080
their GPA.

1588
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,760
So I'm guessing before that they were doing really bad.

1589
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:48,760
Yeah.

1590
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:52,080
To the point that their GPA and their passing grade was so low.

1591
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:54,000
So they had to be passing or above.

1592
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,960
So I understand like the logistics of it.

1593
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:57,960
Right.

1594
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:01,120
But at the same time it was very earlier like if you get a passing or above passing like

1595
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:03,160
yeah you mean the actual thing that you have to get?

1596
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:04,160
Yeah.

1597
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:05,160
Mandatorily.

1598
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:10,160
And then when it was posted into Oh No Consequences they put am I the asshole for not forcing

1599
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,640
my daughter to do her friend's homework so she can graduate.

1600
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:14,640
That's another thing.

1601
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,680
You don't have to ask anyone on Reddit.

1602
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:17,680
You know damn well.

1603
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:18,680
You know the answer.

1604
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:19,960
Yeah there's no fucking way.

1605
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,600
Just like whenever you are an asshole and you still ask the question you know you're

1606
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:23,600
an asshole.

1607
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:24,600
Am I an asshole?

1608
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:26,600
Yes you are.

1609
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:27,960
Aww.

1610
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:35,760
Alright next one is the title for Oh No Consequences is cheaters who use website designed for cheaters

1611
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,560
get blackmailed for cheating.

1612
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:38,560
Well well.

1613
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:39,560
Well well.

1614
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:41,720
There was the consequences of my own actions.

1615
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:45,760
And the guy's this lady's husband was cheating with Susan.

1616
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,120
Probably.

1617
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,760
So this starts off.

1618
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:52,200
Ashley Madison promotes itself as an...

1619
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,200
Oh yeah Ashley Madison.

1620
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:57,480
I've been there 17 times.

1621
01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:01,400
Promotes itself as a dating site that helps people cheat on their partners.

1622
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:07,640
But newly released consumer complaints filed with the FTC obtained exclusively by Gizmodo

1623
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:11,040
should probably give any potential cheaters pause.

1624
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:15,880
The site is lousy with extortion attempts to put it mildly.

1625
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:20,680
Gizmodo filed a Freedom of Information Act request for all complaints lodged with the

1626
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:27,040
FTC over the past five years and the federal agency says it located 282 in total.

1627
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:31,960
The FTC released 200 complaints most involving extortionists who trick users into giving

1628
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,160
them naked photos or having a video chat.

1629
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:35,160
Ha ha ha.

1630
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:39,120
Can I just solve everyone's problem here?

1631
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:43,680
I know it's tough but like the people that consistently cheat the problem isn't that

1632
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:48,000
you're a cheater it's that you're probably in the wrong type of relationship.

1633
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,000
Yes.

1634
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:53,880
Like if you're constantly need to explore extramarital affairs then you need to find

1635
01:07:53,880 --> 01:08:00,560
a relationship of equal found base I guess.

1636
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:03,880
So like if you like to have sex with people outside your marriage you either need to be

1637
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:08,680
a swinger you need to find a polyamorous relationship you need to you can't if you can't you know

1638
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:12,040
don't keep staying with the same person if you're just gonna cheat.

1639
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:16,880
Yeah you can't it's not fair to them it's not fair to you just figure you gotta figure

1640
01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:18,160
out you know what I mean.

1641
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:21,640
You know I had a notebook right and I put an upside down pineapple on it you know there's

1642
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:25,440
a swinger symbol and I'm completely single I just do it just to fuck with people when

1643
01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:28,320
they see me outside walking with my notebook with a fucking upside down pineapple.

1644
01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:29,800
I was like oh did you swing?

1645
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:35,960
It's like no I don't I just I'm just saying I like pineapples.

1646
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:39,360
I like okay I like upside down pineapple cake.

1647
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:44,320
It's not even the fact it's an upside down pineapple right but it's under this like this

1648
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:51,760
group this specific type that's called the butts on cheeks or cheeks on butt cheeks on things.

1649
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:56,160
So it's an upside down pineapple with a butt cheek so it's got like a fat ass on the butt

1650
01:08:56,160 --> 01:09:02,520
so it's like an upside down ass now because I bought the whole collection right I got

1651
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:07,000
a basketball with an ass cheek I got a gumball machine with a butt cheek and every gumball

1652
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:10,840
inside has a butt cheek I got a football with a butt cheek a pickle with a butt cheek

1653
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:15,240
I got a cupcake with some ass like it's just like it's called butt it's like cheeks on

1654
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:19,760
things or something yeah they were it was at the retail store I worked at and I it was

1655
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:23,040
in the vending machines and I bought them all and I got the whole collection I got a

1656
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:27,440
snowman with an ass cheek and I just thought it'd be funny to take the pineapple and turn

1657
01:09:27,440 --> 01:09:31,920
it upside down on my notebook because every time they see it there it's like the most

1658
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:36,000
it's like I don't know it just fits.

1659
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:37,360
It's a conversation starter.

1660
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:43,680
It is like sir do you swing like no but damn it do I like confusing people but I'm just

1661
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:48,920
saying like it's but it's difficult like in our day and age you know marriage is monogamous

1662
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:53,480
relationship between two people yes and they can't you know swing like outside the boundary

1663
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:58,720
well the problem too is that it seems like marriages recently have become more of what

1664
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:03,600
you would have considered a contract well it's like dating at this point it's like don't

1665
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:08,160
get married unless you're fully committed really committed yeah like yeah it might be

1666
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:12,200
hard to to actually commit to something but if you're going to get married there's a reason

1667
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:15,920
that there is marriage there's a reason I don't have I don't have a tattoo right because

1668
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:20,640
tomorrow I'll be like oh fuck right like it's the same kind of thing though it's you should

1669
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:25,440
think of it as something like it's not just for fun or oh for this is for tax reasons

1670
01:10:25,440 --> 01:10:29,920
and all that kind of bullshit yeah for my green card even then because then they're

1671
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:36,960
gonna get the green card later but well but seriously like if you're gonna get married

1672
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:42,040
and you know you can't be with one person right don't get married don't cheat then you

1673
01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:45,880
won't be cheating exactly if you don't get married like so I know I'll never understand

1674
01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:52,200
extramarital affairs it's like you're all you should only get married if you're going

1675
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:59,880
to be able to be with one person forever and if you need a green card moving on no it's

1676
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:04,480
no way I'll pay for it it's fine if you need a green card just hit him up look I'm gonna

1677
01:11:04,480 --> 01:11:14,360
get a green card both need one all right so so let's look at this dirty bastard cheatin'

1678
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:18,440
the extortionist then turn around and demand money telling the victims that if they refuse

1679
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:23,840
they'll be exposed to friends family and employers oh not my friends and family you gotta pick

1680
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:29,720
one she took a screen recording my face and my genitals and they started demanding I

1681
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:34,520
paid her and she would upload or she would upload the video and ruin my life one typical

1682
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:39,600
complaint from a user in Texas reads I'm like too late I won't see my dick moving on most

1683
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:46,280
of the sextortionist as they label it extortionist sextortionist oh sextortionist appear something

1684
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:51,480
a fucking limited series on Playboy TV they have the weird they had the weirdest shows

1685
01:11:51,480 --> 01:11:56,160
on Playboy TV back when I used to watch it when I had it on the dish yeah it'd be like

1686
01:11:56,160 --> 01:12:01,440
the boy next door they'd be having this guy named Danny Vegas yeah it was like a scripted

1687
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:07,960
show like a comedy show like like a sitcom oh god without the like the laugh track yeah

1688
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:13,440
of Danny Vegas trying to make it big as a porn star in the small town like on the outskirts

1689
01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:18,580
of Chicago and like I don't know I found I'd never liked the character him yeah but I liked

1690
01:12:18,580 --> 01:12:26,120
everyone else around it and so it was basically a sitcom with hardcore sex it worked his

1691
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:29,240
parents kept catching him in the basement trying to make videos you can't do this in

1692
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:34,040
his house it's like but I gotta be famous he tried to get on the dating website but

1693
01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:38,100
instead of like doing like regular stuff like I like to go you know I like to read ride

1694
01:12:38,100 --> 01:12:43,760
bikes he's like I like deep fuck I like DPs and deep throating and I like the I'm like

1695
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:48,400
god damn he had everything instead of a picture of his face it's a picture of his fucking

1696
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:54,120
cock I'm like you don't really know how to date a real person do you now just be considered

1697
01:12:54,120 --> 01:13:00,800
controlling and I have my fucking back so most of this extortion of spirit to be asking

1698
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:07,160
for roughly a thousand to two thousand dollars at first then though they can escalate quicker

1699
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:12,240
even if their initial payment is made fuck that and there you can't beat an extortionist

1700
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:15,800
no in terms of like you can't stop them and they're always keep asking for more money

1701
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:19,760
why wouldn't they tell me you might just do the letterman then go to the police right

1702
01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:23,500
and they show up on your show the next day be like listen people I have been fucking

1703
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:30,400
some of my employees but hey at least they came forward yeah a lady messaged me and told

1704
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:34,360
me she found out my wife's name Facebook and our home address and she is demanding two

1705
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:38,480
thousand dollars or she was going to send the information of our profile to my wife

1706
01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:43,360
another complaint from Arkansas explains people who say that they pay the extortionist often

1707
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:47,000
complain that it didn't stop the scammers from demanding more payments no I didn't

1708
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:54,720
know it wasn't fair fair square again that's why this is all under under oh no consequence

1709
01:13:54,720 --> 01:14:03,800
yeah let's see here and that the results in a predictable downward spiral of futility

1710
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:09,000
for the victims gizmodo file a downward spot of futility well what a fucking good set of

1711
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:13,760
words gizmodo filed another freedom of information after request all the complaints logged with

1712
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:21,080
the FTC another one puts she took a screen recording to my oh no that's the same why

1713
01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:31,360
does it show okay let's see after I pay them they asked for more money they still want

1714
01:14:31,360 --> 01:14:34,600
more money I don't understand I have a feeling this isn't going to stop and I don't know

1715
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:38,960
what to do one user from Michigan wrote my man it's not a fucking payment plan when you

1716
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:43,140
pay enough they stop it's never gonna end Ashley Madison has long been a target for

1717
01:14:43,140 --> 01:14:48,200
extortionist and moral crusaders with the site suffering a massive data breach back in 2015

1718
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:54,280
after it got hacked the anonymous that's how I got caught the data breach damn it the anonymous

1719
01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:57,760
hackers demanded the site be taken down or they'd release detailed information about

1720
01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:01,720
the users after about a month the hackers made good on their threat releasing roughly

1721
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:06,360
10 gigabytes of information yeah dang oh it doesn't seem that much in the long scheme

1722
01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:12,640
of things on the sites 37 million users yeah about 10 gigabytes if it was like a fucking

1723
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:19,080
80 these are these are 10 gigabytes of names oh that's a lot of names like not oh that's

1724
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:26,640
a lot actually you don't need that much gigabytes for just words these are text documents oh

1725
01:15:26,640 --> 01:15:32,800
lord these aren't pictures these are text and I everybody that 37 million users damn

1726
01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:37,240
that led to that me that led to the high profile consequences including everything from the

1727
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:42,440
registration of a state attorney in Florida to the suicide of a pastor in New Orleans

1728
01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:49,920
yeah but even after they even got Anthony wiener that dude I fucking love that documentary

1729
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:54,080
I love the fact that the documentary if you ever seen the documentary wiener about that

1730
01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:58,680
uh that guy that was running for office in New York Anthony wiener yeah the documentary

1731
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:03,340
it's just called wiener so I thought it was a porn I'm like this is a point and like so

1732
01:16:03,340 --> 01:16:09,160
the document is about him trying to come back from a scandal a sex scandal before the the

1733
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:13,280
they started filming the documentary yeah and it was him trying to come back and it

1734
01:16:13,280 --> 01:16:17,880
was going great right like it was like an actual like awesome like he's like he's rebuilding

1735
01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:22,520
the trust with the people his wife and everybody like he's gonna be running from air right

1736
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:28,040
during the filming of the documentary of Anthony wiener who was trying to recover from a sex

1737
01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:34,800
scandal that almost ruined his political career he had he got hit with another scandal during

1738
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:40,160
the filming of the scandal that was trying to try to recover from so during the filming

1739
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:45,160
of the documentary trying to recover from a sex scandal he got he got caught in the

1740
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:46,160
next scandal.

1741
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:57,000
What was it like Carlos Danger was his username but then again with a name like Anthony wiener

1742
01:16:57,000 --> 01:17:02,800
what do you expect and like you know where you know what sold the entire documentary

1743
01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:06,840
because it was like a movie right like you like because you can't write that stuff that

1744
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:11,680
like you did the fucking whole documentary was him recovering from a sex scandal and

1745
01:17:11,680 --> 01:17:15,960
in the fucking documentary he got caught with it I think it's just he writes himself it

1746
01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:21,680
was the the pivotal moment being the scene that he'd like encapsulated the entire documentary

1747
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:28,920
in one like few like 30 seconds was they had CNN had the photos of the the woman that he

1748
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:33,920
was hooking up with she had taken he had sent her a screenshot of his cock right and they

1749
01:17:33,920 --> 01:17:38,920
pulled it up on CNN or some website or some channel that was uncensored right yeah and

1750
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:45,600
was sold the documentary from was his wife Huma was there right the minute his his because

1751
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:50,120
it's his wife the minute the picture came up she's she looked at it for a split second

1752
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:54,680
and looked dead right back at him because she knew damn well that was his fucking was

1753
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:59,760
like well he's just like looking at the screen he's not even he's not looking at her at whatsoever

1754
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:06,840
he's like how do I get out of this just like the way like it was a millisecond she saw

1755
01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:11,320
it and she looked right back at him because she knew it was his because there was no face

1756
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:17,960
in it just as you know that's got to be embarrassing it was watching him there and it ruined his

1757
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:22,600
political career for the second time and then he tried for a third time if you don't recall

1758
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:29,120
and he got caught with a sex with an underage woman that's in jail so either this man cannot

1759
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:33,840
catch a break well like I said with the name like Anthony Weiner man was the thirstiest

1760
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:41,600
politician I've ever seen no think about it though there's a you're you're named out of

1761
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:46,760
everything in your last name's Weiner and that's what you send pictures of to everybody

1762
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:52,640
man was Richard Weiner so dick Weiner would have been hilarious but I feel bad for his

1763
01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:56,920
wife because the minute that picture came up all she took is one second to know yeah

1764
01:18:56,920 --> 01:19:02,880
like that's his all right it's like you son of a bitch she must have been so well she

1765
01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:07,880
was fucking pissed I'm not to mention she was like a close associate to Hillary Clinton

1766
01:19:07,880 --> 01:19:17,240
so that kind of you know I'm surprised Hillary and have her do as she did she had her she

1767
01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:21,920
tried to convince her to divorce Anthony Weiner well that would have been smart yeah especially

1768
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:29,360
after the 16 year old or whatever how old she was yeah all right so we met our fucking

1769
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:38,880
animals most of the complaints were like what were like one calamity from a fucking going

1770
01:19:38,880 --> 01:19:45,760
back to being feral yeah yeah like pigs back to fucking caveman oh it's like pigs you know

1771
01:19:45,760 --> 01:19:49,600
how pigs have for one generation they're feral again yeah that's gonna be us I swear we met

1772
01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:55,800
our fucking beast like fucking watching like watching the war the Planet of the Apes movies

1773
01:19:55,800 --> 01:20:03,120
that's basically oh oh oh yeah kind of what oh well you know that fucking what a wonderful

1774
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:09,800
day I've been watching that Oliver tick-tock yeah say his words say his words I just been

1775
01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:17,320
walking around like a gorilla like a monkey yeah that one bit oh that my back sorry guys

1776
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:23,680
I'm a little bit under the weather all right continuing on but after yeah but even after

1777
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:27,640
such a devastating hack the site is still around and scammers seem to be everywhere

1778
01:20:27,640 --> 01:20:33,280
Kobo weaker some of the complaints involve victims who at first refused to pay only to

1779
01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:38,640
see the scammer then claimed to be a minor for their cause well it's fucked for which

1780
01:20:38,640 --> 01:20:42,920
the consequences could be much greater than embarrassment much yeah you mean yeah jail

1781
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:47,800
real time most of the complaints are about attempts at extortion but not all of them

1782
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:53,640
for are from people and committed monogamous relationships giving the way for Ashley Madison

1783
01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:59,080
is marketed it's easy to understand why extortionists believe the site is a target rich environment

1784
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:02,360
for people who are trying to conceal affairs some of them are swingers probably uh-huh

1785
01:21:02,360 --> 01:21:07,480
yeah the FTC we're just like me I'm a fun what you call a foe swinger I thought it was

1786
01:21:07,480 --> 01:21:13,320
only a fa you X I'm not really a swinger because I'm not in the relationship yeah I'm actually

1787
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:20,480
a virgin that would be funny the FTC redacted sensitive and private information and the

1788
01:21:20,480 --> 01:21:24,280
complaints before they released to gizmodo making it impossible to in it independently

1789
01:21:24,280 --> 01:21:29,320
verify each claim but given the common a common experience is reported from the users across

1790
01:21:29,320 --> 01:21:33,720
the country we feel is valuable to see what consumers are saying about any given product

1791
01:21:33,720 --> 01:21:38,840
or service whether it's hidden cameras that air and B and B's deadly flea callers or crypto

1792
01:21:38,840 --> 01:21:43,440
platforms like FTX I would be that asshole journalist right that would like I would look

1793
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:47,240
at the names right so is it I would go to the houses of the men yeah while they're like

1794
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:50,640
get home on Sunday with their family like sir this you want Ashley Madison right can

1795
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:56,320
I get your comments on how you like the site they'd be so fucking pissed at me all righty

1796
01:21:56,320 --> 01:22:10,520
and I think let's see here oh if you don't die first let's see blah blah blah okay to

1797
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:17,520
make his words we got two more here say his words we gotta go see that movie I will a

1798
01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:22,440
his words you'll be walking out of there like a chimpanzee fucking crazy yeah basically

1799
01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:27,640
next one is titled am I the asshole if I was as strong as a chimp you imagine at my height

1800
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:33,520
being actually as strong as a chimpanzee I'd be terrifying no kidding right so I'm getting

1801
01:22:33,520 --> 01:22:36,600
terrified I'm fucking six for that guy like what you gonna do and I just fucking pick

1802
01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:45,760
him up and throw him across the fuck around oh and chimps are strong I know why do you

1803
01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:50,880
think Konga so strong yeah we's a gorilla isn't it it's still an ape the apes are stronger

1804
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:57,080
than chimpanzees fucking yeah gorillas are fucking yeah aren't chimpanzees and apes chimpanzees

1805
01:22:57,080 --> 01:23:02,960
are they're not monkeys they're part of apes but gorillas are like great apes gorillas

1806
01:23:02,960 --> 01:23:08,280
are yeah like some big boys yeah it's like a silverback like that one that one that little

1807
01:23:08,280 --> 01:23:11,480
girl was like pounding her chest and that gorilla slammed into the fucking window screen

1808
01:23:11,480 --> 01:23:16,120
remember that yeah Jesus Christ you see the couple of people walk away a brown spot running

1809
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:19,800
down their legs you know what makes them so scary is how fucking fast they are I know

1810
01:23:19,800 --> 01:23:26,040
for as big as yeah they are fucking quick that shit is terrifying all right this one

1811
01:23:26,040 --> 01:23:29,840
is am I the asshole for getting that elsewhere since my wife didn't want to have sex anymore

1812
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:36,640
that's a tough one yes you can't cheat but I mean if you can't live without it you have

1813
01:23:36,640 --> 01:23:40,920
to talk to her and you know you got them I have to amic amicably move apart all right

1814
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:45,120
so let's see what you think after the little mature I'm a mature adult in the little boy's

1815
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:51,360
body that sounds so wrong I did that's the nastiest thing I've ever fucking said actually

1816
01:23:51,360 --> 01:24:01,040
got a bad rating in court oh my god your honor that's not what I meant I mean I I have a

1817
01:24:01,040 --> 01:24:09,800
physical body of a child but I'm a grown man I'm not in a child you're on it it's like

1818
01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:17,920
let the core recorder fork this down all right so this person puts a few months ago I posted

1819
01:24:17,920 --> 01:24:24,400
my relationship advice for another sub basically my wife had decided to unilaterally she decided

1820
01:24:24,400 --> 01:24:30,320
unilaterally that we are done having sex we raised the limit huh she found out that she

1821
01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:34,320
cannot have kids due to a choice that she made whenever we met and kids apparently are

1822
01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:38,400
the only reason that she is still willing to have sex what the fuck I'm gonna be gone

1823
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:42,960
I love my wife and I enjoy being intimate with her but it was making our marriage untenable

1824
01:24:42,960 --> 01:24:48,760
for two years of this so I posted for advice I got a lot of great supportive suggestions

1825
01:24:48,760 --> 01:24:52,560
about how to talk to my wife I tried a lot of it I started going to for counseling for

1826
01:24:52,560 --> 01:24:57,360
myself as well but no matter how I approached her about the situation she would not try

1827
01:24:57,360 --> 01:25:01,560
to see it from my point of view every discussion would end with her crying or screaming in

1828
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:07,120
my face and that I am trying to emotionally manipulate nothing like gaslighting yep I

1829
01:25:07,120 --> 01:25:10,680
then wrote her a letter outlining my feelings and asking her to come with me for a counseling

1830
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:16,040
session to seek it to seek it for herself perhaps go to see a doctor I was kind of loving

1831
01:25:16,040 --> 01:25:21,120
in the letter the last thing I wanted to do was set her off I work on the wording with

1832
01:25:21,120 --> 01:25:25,440
my counselor to make sure it wasn't saying anything aggressive that could be misinterpreted

1833
01:25:25,440 --> 01:25:31,680
or misinterpreted later she read the letter then scrawled across it with red sharpie go

1834
01:25:31,680 --> 01:25:36,440
get it elsewhere because you're not getting it from me oh I see how it is then she walked

1835
01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:41,880
out I sat there for about an hour doing nothing then I told myself that what I what was I

1836
01:25:41,880 --> 01:25:46,720
going to do divorce I guess I mean there's no other option we are both fairly successful

1837
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:52,440
in our jobs I'm not super attractive but I'm fit and a good talker I took a while but I

1838
01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:57,760
met someone we started out as just friends but it became physical I made sure she was

1839
01:25:57,760 --> 01:26:04,240
a I made sure that she knew that I was married she is not interested in a relationship so

1840
01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:09,560
I guess I am safe I'm a safe option for her because she's not looking for a relationship

1841
01:26:09,560 --> 01:26:14,720
and he just wants them he just wants a day bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb my wife found out

1842
01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:19,600
because I did not try to hide it she was crying whenever I got home one night when I came

1843
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:25,520
in she asked if I was going to leave her I said no like probably she asked if I was cheating

1844
01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:31,000
on her and I said I was getting sex elsewhere she said that I was cheating and I did not

1845
01:26:31,000 --> 01:26:35,320
disagree with her no I used a condom into the account I asked her what she wanted to

1846
01:26:35,320 --> 01:26:39,520
do she said I had to stop I asked her if she was going to start having sex with me then

1847
01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:45,320
that would like there's no like because like if she if she doesn't want to you can't force

1848
01:26:45,320 --> 01:26:53,400
her so you're in an impasse yeah you're still you know sexually active or you still want

1849
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:58,940
to be yeah and she's not something there's nothing you can do but others get split up

1850
01:26:58,940 --> 01:27:03,720
yeah I'm sorry but that's the only option you guys have she said I was an irrational

1851
01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:11,600
asshole I'm a I have a degree of psychology if I thought that she would have sex with

1852
01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:15,920
me after I cheated I went to my desk and pulled out a photocopy of the letter I wrote with

1853
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:20,360
her answer on it and the red sharpie why not just pull out the actual letter that's what

1854
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:24,160
he did he pulled it well he apparently he made photocopies of that letter we just saw

1855
01:27:24,160 --> 01:27:28,200
him throwing them around the house just hanging them everywhere I went to have a shower and

1856
01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:31,320
go to my room to sleep because apparently they're sleeping in separate rooms I would

1857
01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:35,640
have met so whenever I woke up she was sitting on the couch waiting to talk she said that

1858
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:40,200
she had reread the letter and that she realized that she had not before that she didn't read

1859
01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:44,520
the letter last time what the fuck did she just mark out and fucking red marker yeah

1860
01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:50,320
apparently she may read like a couple of lines and the first one we fucking or not and that

1861
01:27:50,320 --> 01:27:55,920
was the first she assumed it was just a letter begging for sex she said that she would go

1862
01:27:55,920 --> 01:28:01,160
for counseling alone and with me all I had to do was stop having sex elsewhere I said

1863
01:28:01,160 --> 01:28:05,080
I would be willing to pause my friendship until we saw a counselor and that if I saw

1864
01:28:05,080 --> 01:28:09,360
progress in our relationship I would break it off completely she said that she would

1865
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:13,720
not agree to counseling without me leaving the other woman first it almost turned into

1866
01:28:13,720 --> 01:28:18,920
a fight so I just went for my run before I left I asked her what would compel her to

1867
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:24,360
go to counseling if I stopped having sex elsewhere whenever I got back she said that she still

1868
01:28:24,360 --> 01:28:29,160
did not have an answer she couldn't even say that our relationship was worth saving I don't

1869
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:33,640
want to divorce but I am willing to leave over this I'm 28 I am not going the rest of

1870
01:28:33,640 --> 01:28:38,760
my life without sex no kidding she refuses to see my side of it still yeah I mean like

1871
01:28:38,760 --> 01:28:44,160
at that point you might as well like yeah because even if she agrees to it the level

1872
01:28:44,160 --> 01:28:49,200
of like comfort and it to some intimacy would be gone yeah so it'd be like oh you're fucking

1873
01:28:49,200 --> 01:28:53,400
terrible I mean I wouldn't consider you necessarily an asshole for it but no you might as well

1874
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:58,840
go ahead and miss that divorce get that divorce and move on if you don't have kids like obviously

1875
01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:03,760
she can't so you don't have to what she wants to have so it's like what's the point right

1876
01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:08,600
and she if she doesn't love you or anything like really not doesn't even enjoy it I mean

1877
01:29:08,600 --> 01:29:13,080
what are you that bad I don't understand they just don't make it he couldn't have been too

1878
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:18,040
bad I don't know if they got married oh hey no but she only wanted it for the children

1879
01:29:18,040 --> 01:29:21,160
but he had to have been decent at it though and then so I can't have kids I don't want

1880
01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:24,680
to have kids anymore well that means he was bad at her like if you fucking rocked her

1881
01:29:24,680 --> 01:29:30,560
world she'd be like I don't give a fuck yeah she's probably better at herself could be

1882
01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:34,920
so I don't know like it's it's it's pointless like at that point there's if trying to like

1883
01:29:34,920 --> 01:29:39,720
trying to like come to an agreement like we can only have sex on weekend and it would

1884
01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:44,760
just be terrible if it's more of like a contract right like there's it fucking sucks yeah and

1885
01:29:44,760 --> 01:29:51,040
you're only 28 you might as well as we're going Ashley Madison you won't give a fuck

1886
01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:55,200
if you get blackmailed exactly like some of the other people who's like go ahead and blackmail

1887
01:29:55,200 --> 01:30:01,200
me it's fine and the last one we have here today was a it was a post that somebody grabbed

1888
01:30:01,200 --> 01:30:12,320
off of I think one of the like a Yelp type thing right a Yelp yeah god dang they reposted

1889
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:18,120
it on reddit obviously but always a Yelp huh and this is on PetSmartz oh lord what happened

1890
01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:25,280
so this person Sarah L the one that posted this horrible oh no consequences thing she

1891
01:30:25,280 --> 01:30:30,800
put my husband and I have shopped here consistently for years but we will be using a different

1892
01:30:30,800 --> 01:30:34,920
location from now on ain't no one else a girl it's only PetSmart you know Walmart for your

1893
01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:39,000
dog food they will literally lock the doors right in front of your face if you show up

1894
01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:45,200
two minutes after closing hey man I've done that before we closed hey we closed we closed

1895
01:30:45,200 --> 01:30:50,880
I knew you'd love that one we closed I don't make the rules I just follow them yeah I mean

1896
01:30:50,880 --> 01:30:55,000
even whenever I worked in retail a lot of the businesses they have computer systems

1897
01:30:55,000 --> 01:31:01,160
that say everything has to be done at a certain time yep and the alarms the alarm company

1898
01:31:01,160 --> 01:31:05,260
if you're there after 10 minutes after closing because you gotta get everything done right

1899
01:31:05,260 --> 01:31:10,560
if you're not out of that building the alarm sets I'm sorry man we closed we opened from

1900
01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:14,640
this to this if you can't be here within this and this that's your fault exactly they get

1901
01:31:14,640 --> 01:31:20,800
so mad at you like it's your fault like what did I do did I make you you know not manage

1902
01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:26,060
your time well exactly but apparently a lot of people do that I remember it though I remember

1903
01:31:26,060 --> 01:31:31,720
somebody threw brakes in the window so like if you open that like like here's the problem

1904
01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:37,680
like if you open if you close at 9 mm-hmm people will get there at 850 yes if you closed

1905
01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:42,240
at 11 they get there at 1058 like they just do that on purpose yes because they're assholes

1906
01:31:42,240 --> 01:31:47,840
exactly that's when they wander around and look around it's like the fucker you know

1907
01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:51,200
they don't want to grab anything just want to fucking meander around the goddamn store

1908
01:31:51,200 --> 01:31:54,960
oh yeah like don't get me wrong I have been to businesses when it's like 15 minutes to

1909
01:31:54,960 --> 01:31:59,680
close time but as I know what I want I've run in there go straight to what I want come

1910
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:04,320
straight back to the register and I'm out still with like 10 minutes to spare exactly

1911
01:32:04,320 --> 01:32:10,360
like if I'm if I'm gonna be pushing the time limit on a business closing I'm going to make

1912
01:32:10,360 --> 01:32:15,800
every use of that minute I'm running to the back and come into the front because it's

1913
01:32:15,800 --> 01:32:18,760
like you know like when you get off work late or something like that and you're trying to

1914
01:32:18,760 --> 01:32:23,840
hurry but at least I'm putting some effort into you know hustling through the damn store

1915
01:32:23,840 --> 01:32:28,380
I had a guy be like I gotta get some toilet paper please please I'm like well you gotta

1916
01:32:28,380 --> 01:32:32,600
wipe your ass come on in didn't buy a liquor toilet but he bought some fucking Christmas

1917
01:32:32,600 --> 01:32:36,280
wrapping paper oh my god you're gonna wipe your ass with Christmas wrapping paper huh

1918
01:32:36,280 --> 01:32:45,040
he's gonna make it festive that fucking liar are you ready to play a pick your poison game

1919
01:32:45,040 --> 01:32:54,880
I hope so oh fuck oh that one bit oh damn that hurt all right you ready yeah out of

1920
01:32:54,880 --> 01:33:02,440
these two right no would you rather find six live webcams streaming from your bathroom

1921
01:33:02,440 --> 01:33:08,160
I'm okay with that or offer oral sex to the fifth person you see every day the fifth person

1922
01:33:08,160 --> 01:33:13,360
how wait that's all whatever the fifth person is every day huh it's a lot of dick I'd be

1923
01:33:13,360 --> 01:33:21,160
sucking which of the poisons I don't mind a webcam hey six of them why not they get

1924
01:33:21,160 --> 01:33:27,160
every angle my asshole it's like it's already on the internet it's fine we're cool with

1925
01:33:27,160 --> 01:33:34,040
that all right would you rather drink a bag of blood from the blood bank I don't like

1926
01:33:34,040 --> 01:33:39,960
blood or be unable to pee without looking into someone else's eyes I open up them eyes

1927
01:33:39,960 --> 01:33:50,680
good we piss in I can't do blood in any context oh really hmm I'm surprised why was surprised

1928
01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:57,000
I don't like blood bla bla that's why you can't watch a gore films right I can't watch

1929
01:33:57,000 --> 01:34:01,960
a gore film cuz I feel like after I'm after I do I can't eat anything I imagine it in

1930
01:34:01,960 --> 01:34:06,560
my fucking brain you see all you have to do is watch one of those PETA videos and you'd

1931
01:34:06,560 --> 01:34:13,200
never be able to eat meat ever again I take a lot to top that and burgers all right next

1932
01:34:13,200 --> 01:34:20,640
poison would you rather have your nose replaced by a permanently erect penis or have every

1933
01:34:20,640 --> 01:34:26,920
dog you meet immediately start humping your leg hmm I can stop the dog I can't stop a

1934
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:32,560
penis on your nose yeah you don't wanna be called penis fakes there was that guy that

1935
01:34:32,560 --> 01:34:37,200
had like the longest nose in history oh yeah seven and a half inches I know man well must

1936
01:34:37,200 --> 01:34:42,920
have been quite the life at the party his oral sex must have been phenomenal he could

1937
01:34:42,920 --> 01:34:49,640
please at least two women yeah maybe more well I mean we say that but we don't like

1938
01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:53,680
there's no way the nose would be like too like malleable I know to be stiff enough to

1939
01:34:53,680 --> 01:34:58,640
you know but that doesn't mean there's cartilage that far up to either maybe it might just

1940
01:34:58,640 --> 01:35:03,600
be like a tissue he's hot so you may not be able to fill it would be a fucking like why

1941
01:35:03,600 --> 01:35:08,040
did you mean like they give wouldn't be you stiff enough that's what I'm saying hmm just

1942
01:35:08,040 --> 01:35:13,760
like a tumor tissue probably I had a tumor growing out so you're taking the other one

1943
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:19,600
which one oh the dog yeah yeah every dog you need immediately tries to hump your leg please

1944
01:35:19,600 --> 01:35:27,280
I get the fuck off me you animal be like I was a baby joker from Friday where it's like

1945
01:35:27,280 --> 01:35:34,200
the fuck are you doing to my dog oh yeah and nothing man nothing all right next one uh

1946
01:35:34,200 --> 01:35:41,280
Reggie would you rather have a family member walk in on you getting off to animal porn

1947
01:35:41,280 --> 01:35:46,160
or see dead people wandering around everywhere you go I can take the second one the dead

1948
01:35:46,160 --> 01:35:50,520
people have the people that retail are dead people it's true that's very fucking existence

1949
01:35:50,520 --> 01:35:56,720
in life zombies as it is yeah all right would you rather be tart and feathered or never

1950
01:35:56,720 --> 01:36:01,200
be able to have sex without a condom on ever again hmm I can do both actually I can do

1951
01:36:01,200 --> 01:36:08,120
both while using the car give me both you know what turn and feather is all right yeah

1952
01:36:08,120 --> 01:36:18,600
what am I British well hot tar so that's all right pain I like it which one um I guess

1953
01:36:18,600 --> 01:36:29,200
I take the first one be tart and feathered and I get free all right next one would you

1954
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:34,920
rather draw a penis between your first and last name every time you rewrite your name

1955
01:36:34,920 --> 01:36:38,700
or wake up in the middle of the night only to find your significant other masturbating

1956
01:36:38,700 --> 01:36:51,560
to a photo of their ex hmm number two just for the lolz just for the lolz all right next

1957
01:36:51,560 --> 01:36:56,820
one would you rather be required to kill one person per year or you must kill yourself

1958
01:36:56,820 --> 01:37:05,960
or have undeniably ugly offspring so well the second one's impossible because I'm pretty

1959
01:37:05,960 --> 01:37:11,680
sure my jeans are just we have that gorgeous I'm not sure you're going to have undeniably

1960
01:37:11,680 --> 01:37:16,400
ugly offspring but I can't because they're gonna be Adonis so it's in I'll just go to

1961
01:37:16,400 --> 01:37:22,200
the second one you have undeniably ugly offspring I took him out be drop dead gorgeous or it's

1962
01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:29,080
like like that episode of Seinfeld where they went to go see the baby I don't remember that

1963
01:37:29,080 --> 01:37:35,160
one you have to see that one again with Cranberry's like oh god all right would you rather experience

1964
01:37:35,160 --> 01:37:42,280
the pain of childbirth every time you poop or be sexually attracted to another species

1965
01:37:42,280 --> 01:37:48,560
wait man so first of all I'm already attracted from like the the Mass Effect series so you

1966
01:37:48,560 --> 01:37:52,400
already know what you're choosing there you go but I got if I had to struggle every time

1967
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:58,720
I go shit I was like every that would be the most it's every day every day there's no fucking

1968
01:37:58,720 --> 01:38:04,920
way that shit would fucking kill yes it's like childbirth every time you take a poop

1969
01:38:04,920 --> 01:38:12,480
there's no there's no one could take that all right would you rather have taste buds

1970
01:38:12,480 --> 01:38:20,000
on your butt or poop a little bit every time you fart go with one you want to taste it

1971
01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:26,560
then might as well I don't want to fuck shit every time I fucking feel like doing anything

1972
01:38:26,560 --> 01:38:32,400
you know the number one rule never trust a fart exactly well but I mean like every time

1973
01:38:32,400 --> 01:38:36,160
I fart like what if I get you had those pass some gas I just shit myself it doesn't poop

1974
01:38:36,160 --> 01:38:43,840
a little it doesn't say I'll poop it all I'm farting let's I'm on the toilet all right

1975
01:38:43,840 --> 01:38:50,400
thanks for only be able to have sex if a family member is watching gross or have your doppelganger

1976
01:38:50,400 --> 01:38:54,560
become the world's most famous porn star I already know which one you're choosing I don't

1977
01:38:54,560 --> 01:39:01,040
even have to guess I know the answer to that shit everybody that listens knows you know

1978
01:39:01,040 --> 01:39:09,520
damn well I don't buy anything pornographic oh would you rather pull all your teeth out

1979
01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:16,760
of your mouth yes you know the other one moving on or have sex with your most attractive cousin

1980
01:39:16,760 --> 01:39:33,800
I don't do family members you want to be that thing that I'm being being being being I won't

1981
01:39:33,800 --> 01:39:35,080
be my uncle you don't want to be bad uncle I don't want to be that uncle all right next

1982
01:39:35,080 --> 01:39:40,260
one would you rather hand out fortune cookies with bigoted saints oh fuck that's freaking

1983
01:39:40,260 --> 01:39:48,640
Halloween ain't that gonna be a story every guy can go in your grandpa could do it and

1984
01:39:48,640 --> 01:39:54,520
he wouldn't mind exactly or be permanently high the first one I don't know they'll be

1985
01:39:54,520 --> 01:40:02,800
in the state of altered state of reality exactly say we're on the same thing at the okay I

1986
01:40:02,800 --> 01:40:06,320
already know which one you're choosing out of these two as well so who would you rather

1987
01:40:06,320 --> 01:40:13,840
use a cell phone case shaped like a penis or have sex with the sheep how good looking

1988
01:40:13,840 --> 01:40:25,640
as the sheep looks like Mary from Pokemon no thank you no one would you rather have

1989
01:40:25,640 --> 01:40:30,560
everyone's name you have ever kissed tattooed somewhere on your body okay or have a bird

1990
01:40:30,560 --> 01:40:35,480
poop in your mouth every time you yaw Wow what great fucking choices so every time I

1991
01:40:35,480 --> 01:40:45,280
fuck a yard I just give a fucking shit on you give me the tattoos come on now people

1992
01:40:45,280 --> 01:40:49,200
all right would you rather have a friend or family member die every year on your birthday

1993
01:40:49,200 --> 01:40:52,920
fog that happened already my grandma died on my birthday oh really be married on my

1994
01:40:52,920 --> 01:41:03,320
birthday oh yeah done and done or put your hand in a blender and turn it on gee I left

1995
01:41:03,320 --> 01:41:11,040
me a real sad birthday is coming up you want to be one-handed no hell no I think I fucked

1996
01:41:11,040 --> 01:41:19,640
up you wouldn't be noble at your family limb no fuck these motherfuckers this is not a good

1997
01:41:19,640 --> 01:41:23,960
choice right here they don't be ready I'll take them all would you rather lick it on

1998
01:41:23,960 --> 01:41:33,680
my butt hole yeah I do that all the time or be a little every time someone says your name

1999
01:41:33,680 --> 01:41:40,920
let's get a taste on it then unwipe my asshole hey man them girls be wild it never says like

2000
01:41:40,920 --> 01:41:44,320
it's shitwiped it just means like she hasn't wiped it so maybe she took a shower you're

2001
01:41:44,320 --> 01:41:51,040
going for the best circumstances hey man you don't have to wait you can wash it in the

2002
01:41:51,040 --> 01:41:55,680
shower would you rather have a nuclear war break out tomorrow yes I love playing fallout

2003
01:41:55,680 --> 01:42:00,080
for right now or do everything you can to convince everyone in your life that you have

2004
01:42:00,080 --> 01:42:08,760
cancer after a year you tell them that you're faking it wow they would love that first one

2005
01:42:08,760 --> 01:42:13,760
nuclear fallout by the way there's no such thing as a nuclear war no it's not gonna

2006
01:42:13,760 --> 01:42:18,160
last very long absolutely not it'd be a nuclear exchange and then that'd be the aftermath

2007
01:42:18,160 --> 01:42:24,680
oh god would you rather marry someone of a gender that you're not attracted to yes or

2008
01:42:24,680 --> 01:42:30,760
poop out a billiard ball here we go who we marrying a lot of people here wait what if

2009
01:42:30,760 --> 01:42:35,640
I'm attracted to both so you're back what if I'm attracted to everything what if I'm

2010
01:42:35,640 --> 01:42:45,920
a try a try you could do a try give me all right would you rather drink 10 ounces of

2011
01:42:45,920 --> 01:42:52,000
someone else's chewing tobacco spit or secretly have sex with a partner of someone at the

2012
01:42:52,000 --> 01:42:57,520
table no thank you so you're choosing the first till the second one you choose the first

2013
01:42:57,520 --> 01:43:04,200
who is your partner's name all right next one drink a gallon of breast milk that has

2014
01:43:04,200 --> 01:43:12,320
your yes that your mom has been saving some now or an inf never mind this is an easy one

2015
01:43:12,320 --> 01:43:18,360
for you or have sex with someone 40 years old shit done it done dolly pardon for you

2016
01:43:18,360 --> 01:43:28,040
already done what do I get extra punches I've already done it okay I know what you're gonna

2017
01:43:28,040 --> 01:43:33,760
choose out of these two probably as well would you rather drink a diarrhea milkshake or be

2018
01:43:33,760 --> 01:43:40,280
sexually attracted to an inanimate objects enough else like a mattress sure why not give

2019
01:43:40,280 --> 01:43:49,080
it a try who take for your one oh I would hope I would know what you would choose for

2020
01:43:49,080 --> 01:43:57,880
that yeah that's how you get surprised never have sex again done or or register yourself

2021
01:43:57,880 --> 01:44:06,160
as a sex offender shit oh interesting choice what kind of sex offender say I whipped out

2022
01:44:06,160 --> 01:44:11,720
my dick and a playground but I was trying to take I was trying to take a piss it's fucking

2023
01:44:11,720 --> 01:44:15,760
midnight and there's no children there right so get said it's a registered sex offender

2024
01:44:15,760 --> 01:44:22,000
hmm interesting choice I think I would never have sex again I think I'd have to be on the

2025
01:44:22,000 --> 01:44:28,320
sex offender I'm not gonna people's order she has me I am I said let me let me explain

2026
01:44:28,320 --> 01:44:34,480
why you're gonna take two hours all right would you rather poop a pile of parasitic

2027
01:44:34,480 --> 01:44:41,360
worms and eat one niche or have penises from fingers on one of your hands at least the

2028
01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:46,240
first one is like only one time like the other ones like like the King Charles and his fucking

2029
01:44:46,240 --> 01:44:54,840
sausage fingers you know what dick's for fingers no thanks I've seen what it looks like would

2030
01:44:54,840 --> 01:45:00,920
you rather give a eulogy for someone you didn't know sure or receive a naked selfie from a

2031
01:45:00,920 --> 01:45:04,480
family member one day well what is with the family member choices they know damn well

2032
01:45:04,480 --> 01:45:13,760
as they always knows you don't want to fight no this whole this whole faux incest that's

2033
01:45:13,760 --> 01:45:19,240
such a fucking popular disgusting it's not for me all right would you rather accidentally

2034
01:45:19,240 --> 01:45:25,560
find a video of your grandma on your favorite porn website no what the fuck or have an incurable

2035
01:45:25,560 --> 01:45:32,960
STD of your choosing might as well give me give me gonorrhea that ain't careful the clap

2036
01:45:32,960 --> 01:45:40,880
not only am I positive I'm HIV positive for that for South Park it was Kyle hated it Kyle

2037
01:45:40,880 --> 01:45:47,360
was fucking livid I'll never forget the fact that Carmen gave Kyle AIDS yes and keep carbon

2038
01:45:47,360 --> 01:45:50,560
tried to play it off like it was no big fucking deal did hard right why are you so fucking

2039
01:45:50,560 --> 01:45:57,320
mad Kyle he thought it was funny yeah so funny now is he he was laughing not the fact that

2040
01:45:57,320 --> 01:46:00,480
he got AIDS but the fact that it happened to carpet you know probably deserved it more

2041
01:46:00,480 --> 01:46:04,400
than anybody it wasn't because of the agents all right and like Carmen could not accept

2042
01:46:04,400 --> 01:46:11,200
that all right would you rather smash your pinky finger with a hammer or have everyone

2043
01:46:11,200 --> 01:46:15,600
you've ever dated move into your neighborhood so it would be an empty neighborhood number

2044
01:46:15,600 --> 01:46:24,920
two I don't date I just all right would you rather find out your partner is really a prostitute

2045
01:46:24,920 --> 01:46:29,600
hired by your parents yes or make out with someone who hasn't brushed her teeth for two

2046
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:36,600
months I've done that before you don't know what I'm freaking do you you're over here

2047
01:46:36,600 --> 01:46:41,320
licking the teeth basically you gotta get over like certain bodily stuff like you know

2048
01:46:41,320 --> 01:46:47,600
sometimes the breath isn't the best I had no way so uh the first one the first one that

2049
01:46:47,600 --> 01:46:51,480
should come like that movie with Jennifer Lawrence mm-hmm she got hired by the family

2050
01:46:51,480 --> 01:46:54,880
to fuck that is our son doesn't know funny and that actually has happened in real life

2051
01:46:54,880 --> 01:46:59,000
their stories out there I'm sure there he is would you rather and I hope I know the

2052
01:46:59,000 --> 01:47:04,080
answer to this but you never know so would you rather go down on your grandpa or walk

2053
01:47:04,080 --> 01:47:08,480
half a mile barefoot through two feet of maggots and I'll be fine with the maggots they don't

2054
01:47:08,480 --> 01:47:16,800
go do anything exactly all right would you rather get a tattoo or teardrop beneath your

2055
01:47:16,800 --> 01:47:23,120
right eye or kill somebody or have your child catch you cheating on your spouse I don't

2056
01:47:23,120 --> 01:47:28,800
have a spouse or a child if you do oh if I did mm-hmm I get the fuck out of this room

2057
01:47:28,800 --> 01:47:38,120
I don't know play the first one I'm well I hate tattoos oh well a teardrop get a teardrop

2058
01:47:38,120 --> 01:47:42,120
you just fit in with all the other Mexicans on the south side of probably would you rather

2059
01:47:42,120 --> 01:47:47,040
be tried for treason in North Korea yes or call your partner's mother right after you

2060
01:47:47,040 --> 01:47:51,600
have sex every time they tell her how it was I do both I'll do it a while I'm in North

2061
01:47:51,600 --> 01:47:59,040
Korea just for the hell of it yeah during my trial every phone call they give me would

2062
01:47:59,040 --> 01:48:03,960
you rather change your name your last name to Hitler or have your mother forget about

2063
01:48:03,960 --> 01:48:08,600
your existence why Hitler huh it's fine I would have that life would like to with that

2064
01:48:08,600 --> 01:48:15,640
that would mean that I'm actually like related to Adolf Hitler yes interesting he would hate

2065
01:48:15,640 --> 01:48:21,520
that he would hate that I mean who's racist there was he though I know he just hopped

2066
01:48:21,520 --> 01:48:29,240
up on coke he just did not like you people said yes god dang Jews would you rather spend

2067
01:48:29,240 --> 01:48:34,500
all your free time as a religious picketer or clean all the dirt off a homeless person's

2068
01:48:34,500 --> 01:48:40,280
feet with your tongue hmm they never said I was religious so let's just go with the

2069
01:48:40,280 --> 01:48:46,980
first one would you rather get a notification every time anyone in the world says anything

2070
01:48:46,980 --> 01:48:52,560
negative about you or fuck there's be a long ass list of notifications find out you'll

2071
01:48:52,560 --> 01:48:59,080
die in one year from today first one it is just a word I want to see love negative comments

2072
01:48:59,080 --> 01:49:04,760
because they that would find them fucking hilarious I would do to be honest with you

2073
01:49:04,760 --> 01:49:09,200
would you rather play Russian roulette with all of your closest family members yes or

2074
01:49:09,200 --> 01:49:15,560
only be able to use the bathroom once a day well nice once a day yeah so I just piss in

2075
01:49:15,560 --> 01:49:22,000
a water bottle hey go piss outside go with the second one like that's do you mean people

2076
01:49:22,000 --> 01:49:27,360
don't understand loopholes exactly next one use a cheese grater to remove all the skin

2077
01:49:27,360 --> 01:49:33,200
from your left forearm god dang or attend a local yoga class and get naked halfway through

2078
01:49:33,200 --> 01:49:39,920
I naked the minute I get in before that yeah I mean they get walking in I do let me some

2079
01:49:39,920 --> 01:49:44,640
naked yoga all right would you rather have your firstborn child grow to be a terrorist

2080
01:49:44,640 --> 01:49:51,040
yes or show up to work on Monday and only a bath towel and do that no problem give me

2081
01:49:51,040 --> 01:49:56,680
the second one all right would you rather have your phone number published in a phone

2082
01:49:56,680 --> 01:50:03,160
sex hotline yes or become extremely addicted to heroin both of them that's how you ended

2083
01:50:03,160 --> 01:50:09,520
up with a phone sex operator job all right would you rather be forced to shout God isn't

2084
01:50:09,520 --> 01:50:15,020
real and every person who blesses you after a sneeze or experience heroin withdrawals

2085
01:50:15,020 --> 01:50:18,740
for the next two weeks well I'm going off of my job from phone sex operators and buy

2086
01:50:18,740 --> 01:50:26,640
the second one would you rather have a set of six milk producing cow udders on your chest

2087
01:50:26,640 --> 01:50:37,880
or never masturbate again on to I can get laid so why not number two all right get poked

2088
01:50:37,880 --> 01:50:46,400
by a used needle gee or receive a notification every time any one of your exes has sex no

2089
01:50:46,400 --> 01:50:54,800
second one so blue oh good for her she getting any oh lucky her all right would you rather

2090
01:50:54,800 --> 01:51:00,440
this is a second to last would you rather poop next to every dog you see pooping proceed

2091
01:51:00,440 --> 01:51:06,420
to yell at the dog owner for not picking it up or cut off your own arm with a pocket knife

2092
01:51:06,420 --> 01:51:10,760
oh thanks number two I mean number one no thanks I'll take number two no fucking bodily

2093
01:51:10,760 --> 01:51:17,200
damage all right and last one would you rather switch lives with the next person that asks

2094
01:51:17,200 --> 01:51:22,440
you for spare change or call your parents every time you're about to have sex and ask

2095
01:51:22,440 --> 01:51:29,560
them for permission I am number 20 is you don't want to call your mom either be a fucking

2096
01:51:29,560 --> 01:51:37,040
quantum leap where you just keep changing bodies like God dang it stop vacula how did

2097
01:51:37,040 --> 01:51:40,900
you ever escape I guess he never did did he I don't think so the very last episode had

2098
01:51:40,900 --> 01:51:46,880
him jumping like on his own like he could jump consciously yeah so he never returned

2099
01:51:46,880 --> 01:51:54,320
back to normal and that's the game pick your poison as you know I'm doing I care so I'll

2100
01:51:54,320 --> 01:51:58,720
do whatever he's a freak so he's good and minus family with half of these aren't even

2101
01:51:58,720 --> 01:52:04,800
freaky for him so hey basically I know it's not family related I'm good to go he's gonna

2102
01:52:04,800 --> 01:52:11,240
vote against the family ones every time that and bodily harm yeah all right anything else

2103
01:52:11,240 --> 01:52:16,960
to add before we head out tonight no my back is killing me good night he got he got his

2104
01:52:16,960 --> 01:52:24,600
back blown out so I blew my back out like goddamn Tom Holland she was like this he's

2105
01:52:24,600 --> 01:52:33,600
like you brought the broke back three thousand and I was like I couldn't say no you lost

2106
01:52:33,600 --> 01:52:48,440
a bet for Tyson Fury and Osk