Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noé.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment podcast, covering your favorite and unknown movies,
games, cartoon books, anime, and more weekly.
We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.
Let's go ahead and get started.
All right, guys.
So if you've been living under a rock, you must have not known, but a phenomenal show
dropped on Amazon Prime, which is very rare.
They only have like three good, three hit shows right now.
I think The Expanse was one of them until somebody bought that out.
The Expanse was on Amazon?
I think so.
Interesting.
I'm pretty sure.
You got The Boys.
You've got Invincible.
And that was it for a long time.
I know The Lord of the Rings one wasn't very well received.
Oh, God.
No, that sucked.
There was another one called The Book of Power or something.
Horrible.
The Wheel of Time, you mean?
The Wheel of Time, yes.
Yeah, it was horrible, too.
It was a good hit.
But they were not having good hits and they were spending millions of dollars.
Then back on April 10th, which was last week basically, 10 days ago, they dropped an absolute
banger.
The video game adaptation or the TV show adaptation of the video game series Fallout.
And I watched it's been a very long time since I've ever watched something from beginning
to end in a binge.
Like I don't know my short attention span.
Maybe I don't know what's going on.
Maybe I got Alzheimer's.
I don't know what's going on.
Forget what happened.
Forget everything.
Yeah.
But this show I actually binged every single episode, all eight episodes or seven.
I can't remember how many it was because I have Alzheimer's.
And I watched all these episodes in one day.
It was my day off Thursday and I watched every single one.
And I could not believe how amazing this show is.
It is truly the best video game adaptation of all time.
I say that with a hundred percent truth.
Resident Evil was nowhere near Resident Evil.
What else you got?
The Witcher is falling down now.
Without Henry Cavill.
Yeah.
What else?
They've tried to adapt everything.
What's that one that came out that...
Damn it.
It came out not that long ago.
With the girl.
Damn it.
I need some specifics.
I know.
I can't remember the damn name of it now though.
I'll find it there.
I mean like plots or anything.
Happens at the end of the world I think.
Oh, The Last of Us.
Yeah, that was not very well received either.
I liked it.
It's my boy.
I forget his name because I don't remember his name.
What a lot of people didn't like is that with that show specifically, they didn't want the
actors to ever see any of the video game stuff.
Why not?
I don't know.
They didn't want them to get pre ideas about what would happen.
That's why they got mad at Henry Cavill.
He loved the books, the games, and everything to do with it.
Passionate man.
But they started changing too much shit and he's like, hey, what are you doing?
He was mad.
And the same thing goes with the people for The Last of Us.
They didn't want any of them paying attention to any of the stories that existed before.
It's like, no, we're going to do it our way.
Well, I think they finished wrapping up season two of The Last of Us and they said that the
guy that plays Joel, how did I forget his name?
He's my boy.
He wrapped up his scenes very quickly already.
So I hope that's not a spoiler for everybody, but if you played the second game, you know
exactly why he wrapped up his stuff so quick.
So I'm watching a fallout.
Now the number one thing about this, above anything, was the fact that it is canon to
all the games.
So the show itself is the latest release of the game series, technically, in timeline
wise.
You started with Fallout 1, the last one was Fallout 76, but year-wise it actually came
out, it's supposed to be, the very first thing it's supposed to be, Fallout 76, which was
that MMO that came out.
That nobody liked?
That nobody liked until recently, I hear, that they finally added enough stuff to make
it palpable for people.
Because when it first came out there were so many controversies with the game.
There was the thing where it had that deluxe set where you could get the helmet and all
that kind of shit.
Oh yeah, that shitty helmet.
That shitty helmet in a bag that was supposed to be canvas and it was in like nylon.
People paid a lot of money for that shit, and that was one thing.
Then the second thing that was in Fallout 76 is that there was nobody on there.
Yeah, there was no NPCs.
They thought they were going to have players actually run shops and be like quest givers.
That's not how it works.
No one plays a game to be a chef.
Well, I do play a game just to run a Sushi shop, so maybe I'm wrong.
But you have to give people that to start them out doing it.
You can't just say, take it over.
You do it.
Here's a grocery store on the verge of bankruptcy.
You got to take it over.
You're just sweating in the bag counting within a calculator.
Like, damn it, these fucking raiders, they keep stealing my supplies.
So 76 is technically the first in the series time-wise.
Right after the...
Because it's 2077, the bombs drop.
That's it for that particular world.
And 76 is supposed to be the continuation after like 100 years after.
And then one, two, three, four, and then the Fallout TV show is the very final one.
Well the current one anyway.
So it's completely canon.
For those of you that don't know the lore of Fallout, it's basically an alternate version
of our world where history is the same up until the end of World War II.
And it changes drastically because it keeps the aesthetic of the old post-World War II
aesthetic, like the whole 1950s aesthetic they had.
And it keeps it going into the future, all the way to 2077.
So it stays like that basically.
And so it's futuristic, but also retro-istic.
So it's all like old-timey music.
That's why you have bottle caps and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Well, in the end times, before that was regular money.
And then they got better cars.
They got fusion batteries, like nuclear power that you can just put into a backpack basically.
That's how well they have their energy supply going.
They got robots.
So the year is 2077 when the bombs drop.
So it's like further than our timeline.
Right.
Hopefully our timeline doesn't end up until 2077, a little bit earlier.
So the bombs drop at the beginning of the show, because you keep going to flashbacks
and you do current time.
And I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I'm going to try to do as little spoilers
as I can.
So you follow, I guess I should do some history for people.
So basically, certain people, shit, how do I explain this properly?
I guess I just have to hope you guys understand what Fallout is.
So it's like the year 21, so it's like 219 years after 2077.
The whole planet is a wasteland and people have risen back up as like little civilizations
and like, so you know, life goes on basically, just in the terms of now or any radiated landscape.
So you have these beings called ghouls, which are adapted to survive in the wasteland.
Like they're immune to radiation.
They're basically immortal, but they can become feral if they don't have a specific medicine
that they drink.
I don't know how, it doesn't say how often, but they need this type of like chemical compound
to keep them from going insane.
So one of the characters, his former name was Cooper Howard.
And he was actually the, you know, the guy with the thumbs up with the blonde hair of
all Fallout, that famous character.
He's actually the guy that was based off of that character.
He was like the biggest actor at the time in 2077, like this cowboy guy.
And he was the spokesperson for a group called Vault-Tec, a company, and he became the blonde
guy with the thumbs up.
Yeah!
Oh, he hates that guy.
So he's in the future now.
219 years later, and he's a bounty hunter and he's a ghoul.
He's got no nose and people are doing like those fanfics stuff with him.
I'm like, oh, even him, huh?
Okay.
People are horny.
People are thirsty.
Yes.
And remember rule 34.
Yeah.
If it exists.
Or if you can think about it, you play poly exists.
There's a porno of it of some kind.
Even with a toaster.
You could probably look it up during the Lord.
So the series follows three characters.
It follows Lucy McClain, who is a vault dweller.
Now back in the day, because there was such a fear of nuclear exchange, this group called
Vault-Tec, I keep saying group, but it's a company called Vault-Tec.
They invented these perfect vaults for people to survive hundreds of years inside.
And if you were able to buy a ticket to this vault, you reserve your little spot.
You could live in there.
Your family could be raised there for hundreds of years.
And so Lucy is now basically, so Lucy McClain is a vault dweller.
So she's lived in that vault forever, her whole life.
That's all she knows is that vault and the certain people that lives there.
She hooks up with her cousin from time to time because not a lot of family members.
It was a weird situation seeing there.
I was like, after 10 years of cousin stuff, I can't wait for the real thing.
I'm like, that's how they do lines.
Like they just drop the randomest wildest things.
I'm like, what?
Cause it has that vault fall.
If you're not used to fall out humor, you'll be absolutely shocked and appalled.
Sometimes a fella's got to eat another fella out here in the wasteland.
Now this ashtray ain't going to make itself.
If you see the scene, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's pretty brutal.
And so there's three main characters.
One of them is Lucy McClain and each of them follows a comedic path like in a game.
So you have your good karma.
She's the good karma.
You have another character named Maximus, who's the neutral character.
And then you have the bad karma is the ghoul, Cooper Howard.
He does all the bad stuff.
Maximus does all the in-between stuff like good and bad and Lucy does all the good stuff.
So it's very interesting.
Yeah, gross.
And so the whole story is basically, all three of them have the similar goal, which is nice.
So it all ties together between them.
They're all looking for this guy named Dr. Sigi Wilczyk because he has a pre-apocalypse
relic that everyone wants.
And so Lucy's father is kidnapped from the vault by these raiders.
So she goes out to find her father.
And the only way to find her father is to escort this guy, Wilczyk, to Moldevar, is
the woman that kidnapped her father.
And Moldevar is a very famous person in the wasteland called the Flame Mother.
And so that's her mission to find her father.
Maximus's mission, because he's part of something called the Brotherhood of Steel.
Now they have old pre-war tech.
It's basically suits of armor, like a lot more bulkier than Iron Man, but they're pretty
badass.
And they're one of the most powerful military forces on the planet.
And their mandate, their motto anyway, is to find pre-fallout technology and preserve
it and use it and keep it out of the hands of evil-doers in the wasteland.
So Maximus is set on a mission to find Wilczyk because they know about the artifact he has.
They basically call it an artifact because it's pretty old, but it's just an advanced
piece of technology.
And the Cooper, the ghoul, as he's usually called, is looking for him because he has
a very high bounty on his head.
He's a bounty hunter, so he wants that money.
And so they all constantly keep looking for this guy.
By the way, the guy doesn't last very long.
He ends up getting injured really bad and bleeding out, so he ends up just having his
head taken because the artifact's in his head.
So now the whole show is them trying to find this guy's head, and it keeps being passed
out between all these members, or between these three groups of people, with Maximus
and Lucy and the ghoul.
I don't think any of them really have it that long.
I think the longest is this side character named Thaddeus has the head the longest.
And so that's basically the whole show, is them trying to find this artifact.
Like Lucy's looking for her dad through Wilczyk, Cooper trying to get the bounty on Wilczyk,
and Maximus trying to get the artifact off of Wilczyk.
So it was a very well-written plot device that made sense, and why it drove each character
forward.
Right, because they're not all wanting the exact same thing.
Basically yeah.
She wants her father, but it involves Wilczyk.
Maximus wants the artifact that involves Wilczyk, and Cooper just wants the bounty that involves
Wilczyk.
So they all want something different from the same guy, which is hilarious to me.
And so off the bat, you'll fall in love with the ghoul first out of anybody, because he's
the most interesting character.
And he's a bad guy, and you've got to get used to that.
He will not do anything good really.
He'll do good stuff sort of, but not really.
And you'll have moments, there'll be constantly flashbacks of himself as a normal guy back
in 2077 as a Cooper Howard.
And then it'll go back to him being the ghoul.
And I mean he's been around for 219 years as a ghoul, and he's kept himself sane, but
with the medication, which is hard to come by in the wasteland.
So he's very experienced, probably the most experienced being on that planet now.
If he's been around since 2077, by the way, people that you think after 219 years, it'll
be all future stuff, there's a lot of people from 2077 that survive all the way to 219
years later.
I'm like how many fucking people make it to the future?
You'd be surprised how many people make it to the future.
Really?
Yeah, just like people you know, you too huh?
No one seems to die.
And so the interesting, the bad thing about it was it had proper world building.
My favorite part is the fact that there's this guy that's a snake oil salesman.
He's like one of those fake doctors that sells you miracle cures that aren't real.
And when you first meet him, because Maximus was a squire to a knight named Knight Titus,
and the knights have the power armor, the big old suits of armor, and he ended up in
a conflict with some big bear, radiated bear.
It looks like a hairless, it's just a hairless bear, it's just super muscular.
And his knight dies.
I won't tell you how he died, because it's hilarious.
And he ends up taking the suit of armor for himself, which is against regulations of the
Brotherhood of Steel, and he decides to go find the willsick himself.
And he comes across the snake oil doctor, about to get murdered by some random guy.
He's in a suit of armor, so he's all feeling all, like anyone would feel, they'd all feel
super powerful in the suit of armor.
No normal person could hurt you.
So he'd be like, hey, leave that man alone.
He throws him off, he pushes him away, like sir, you're okay, you can leave.
And he'd be like, thank you sir.
Some people just don't appreciate scientific theory like I do.
And the snake charmer runs off, the snake oil salesman runs off, and the guy freaks
out, like I'm sorry man, don't kill me.
He's like, I'm not going to kill you, but you should leave that man alone.
He's like, I'm sorry man, he was trying to fuck my chickens.
And it cuts back to the salesman, right?
And he's hauling ass like he had been fucking some chickens.
You know, when you see someone commit a crime and you see him running, he had that I just
fucked some chickens run, because he was fucking bucking it.
And you run into him in the show like four times, and he's always doing something fucking
weird every time.
And at one point, another squire by the name of Thaddeus, he's also, out of my three favorite
characters, it's the ghoul, the snake oil salesman, and Thaddeus, those three, they
took the cake for me.
Oh, and Norman, I really like Norman, which is-
So you really like people named Thad, don't you?
Oh, like Thad Castle?
I guess so.
I guess four, because there's also someone named Norm, he's around my height, very short,
and he's like, if you had to look at the stats, because you have strength, endurance, luck,
and agility, right?
His would be up on intelligence, and not so much on strength like me.
Nothing else, just physical?
Not really, because he's smart, but he's not very physically capable.
And there was this really interesting element in the vault, because Lucy left him in the
vault, and they closed the vault back down, so she could go find her father.
And that was a weird mystery, because the vault that they lived in is interconnected
with two other vaults, which is rare.
It was like 31, 32, and 33.
And so there was a mystery about what was going on in Vault 31 that he figured out himself,
which is why I like Norm.
He never swung a single fist, and he's over here solving mysteries.
And so there was an altercation between Maximus and Thaddeus, because he had the armor against
the regulation, and Thaddeus found out, and he had pulled out the fusion core, so the
suit was useless, and he had taken the head, and he was going to take it back to the Brotherhood
of Steel, and just pretty much rat out Maximus, and Maximus was trying to stop him.
But he left him trapped in the suit of steel, and he got out later.
But he had crushed his foot, so he had crushed Thaddeus' foot with the suit on, right?
So the foot was mangled.
Like when he took his sock off, you think it was like a little blood, right?
That foot was like damaged to destroy.
It looked like ground meat.
I'm like, God damn, he really stepped on your foot with the whole weight of the power of
armor.
And he meets the snake-hole settlement, right?
And he's like, oh, the injured foot, huh, I got just the cure for you.
And he does this weird concoction, and it does heal his foot, like instantaneously.
So I'm like, oh, maybe the doctor does know what he's doing.
And he trades him the fusion core for the medicine.
And then later you find out that the medicine was, he made him a ghoul, because ghouls can
regenerate.
But they're also, you know, you've seen a ghoul.
I don't know if you've ever seen a ghoul, but you wouldn't want to be a ghoul.
And plus, ghouls, anything like that, any abomination in the wasteland is a kill on
sight decree of the Brotherhood of Steel.
So he's like, fuck.
He fixed you.
He fixed you, and he fucked you at the same time.
And so I hope it's at his saddest in season two, because there's already a report of season
two already being like greenlit.
Let's fucking go.
This show was the best adaptation to a video game I've ever seen.
And it's the only game that I can think of, or the only show that I can think of that's
actually canon to the game.
That is true.
Most of them are not.
That's how much faith they had in it, that they actually made it canon.
So everything that happens in the game is the history of the show.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's fucking beautiful.
You've seen what somebody came out with though, and they said, yeah, since you're not going
to be getting a new Fallout game, here's your new game.
What, they're going to get with the show?
Exactly.
Well, good enough for me.
You don't get a Fallout 5, so here you go.
They're still working.
Man, they got six on Elder Scrolls, and they got five on Fallout.
They've been fucking working on, Bethesda's been working on this shit for years, and it's
never going to come out.
I mean, it has to.
I mean, it would be impossible not to.
You'll be as old as that lady that still plays Skyrim.
There's a lady that plays Skyrim?
Yeah, the old lady.
I don't know.
There's an old lady that plays Skyrim on Twitch or something like YouTube.
Good for her.
She's like in her 80s or something like that.
Just killing it, huh?
Yeah.
I guess there's nothing else to do at 80, just play Skyrim.
So because she was waiting around for them to come out with Elder Scrolls 6, and it's
like everybody's like, yeah, she's going to make it.
Sorry about that, granny.
I don't know if we're going to make it to Fallout 5 or Elder Scrolls 6.
I'll be glad if we make it.
I'm probably going to make it to GTA 6.
I couldn't believe it.
It's been years.
And it's coming out next year?
I can't watch something push it back.
Greed.
You know they made $2.2 billion from that game, from GTA 5?
Good God.
$2.2 billion and they still laid off like 100 people.
Because it's still on, but what, Rocksteady?
Rockstar, yeah.
Rockstar.
It's the greediest motherfuck.
Put me in your game, Rockstar.
Make me your next, make me Red Red Redemption 3.
I'm so tired of DLCs at this point, though, from any kind of games.
Their DLCs are very just like basic ads to the online stuff.
They never dropped a single, single player DLC for GTA 5.
Yeah.
I was like, well, fuck.
Or Resident Evil 2 for that matter.
It's almost like people that buy the new like 2K and stuff like that.
Like the NBA 2K.
Oh yeah, they have completely destroyed that with microtransactions.
I am so tired of microtransactions.
Or pay to win.
Me too.
Oh my God, I'm tired of all that.
And then they're like, okay, we have the game for you.
It's $70.
Or you can get the upgraded one for $99.
Or the deluxe one for $137.
Exactly.
All you get is like a season pass.
You get like two hats.
It's ridiculous.
Like the cash grab that a lot of these companies are going for now.
That's why everybody loved, what was it?
Was it Elden Ring that didn't have any kind of DLCs or anything?
They had DLCs but then they were free.
But there was no like pay.
Oh, pay to win?
No, just the minute you dropped was like, go for it.
And I think that's why people loved it so much is like, we got the full fucking game.
Oh my God.
You don't get that in today's day and age.
Wait till the future when they have ads and games.
You got to cut into.
Well that's another reason why I always, always try to get physical copies of anything that
I get.
Because now with everything being digital, it's more convenient and usually it's a little
bit cheaper.
But PlayStation has already proved they'll take that shit away whenever they lose rights
to it.
Yeah, that sucks.
It's like, yeah, you can't play no more.
But like how could they, like if you download it to your console, it's still on there, isn't
it?
Well, whenever you do an update on your PlayStation, it goes off.
Well, no updates then.
Because I know like if the whole game is on the console or like on your, because I have
like a two terabyte fucking Seagate bullshit.
I don't know where I got it from.
And like it had 90% of it's full with God dang Call of Duty, Warzone.
The other 10% is nothing.
I think once you try to go into the, like the connectivity to internet of any kind,
it starts messing with something.
Like people that think about the people that buy like movies and stuff on PlayStation.
I know those are gone.
I'm going.
Well, good thing I didn't buy that many.
Fine.
Yeah.
Cause they used to like, when I first got the PS4, there was like millions of TV, like
TV shows, movies.
You can buy all of it.
You know, the whole season for $3.
Here you go.
And it's just gone forever.
Yep.
But at the same time, like, man, where do I put my physical copies at?
I don't know.
That's why I'm saying like with games though, I always want that.
Like if I get a any kind of console, it's got to have a disc drive on it.
I don't want the ones where it's only digital copies only.
Which I get a PS5.
I think they're selling them at Walmart now retail price, but I can't even afford retail
price.
500.
I'm like, God dang it, man.
If it ain't one thing, it's another.
Like when you could afford the $800 one, right?
Or no, when you could afford the $500 one, it was like $900.
And like, cause you had all the stimulus checks and everything, right?
And now when you can't even afford the regular, like God, now that it's available, you can't
even afford that one.
I mean, shit, I went to the grocery store today and got two bags of groceries, two plastic
bags of groceries, $85.
Huh?
Jesus Christ.
What are they just gold laced apples?
I know.
I went through the receipts like no, everything like fuck.
How?
I just want to know.
Like honey scripts, like $18 a piece.
No, a box of checks is 550.
Fuck.
Box of fucking checks.
Man.
Used to be $3.
You know, when ramen goes up, that's going to, a lot of people are going to end up dying.
It is like top ramen now, uh, from in Oklahoma, we have a place called Winkle foods, which
is like discount of everything.
It's like really cheap shit, but uh, for a top ramen, it's like a probably 25 for one
of those cups.
Damn.
It's like our cup ramen or whatever they are.
It's like, fuck.
It used to be 70.
Oh man.
The good old days.
Just three years ago.
It's like, fuck.
It's too hot.
Okay.
We got to make it somehow people.
Don't worry.
We'll make it.
You got to believe in yourself until we reached that, uh, that star trek level of replicators
where you can just tell it anything.
Yeah.
And it gives it to you.
Nobody have that on the lock and key forever.
You don't get none of it.
It's funny.
Like the parallels, cause in fallout, these, these four major companies ruled most of the
world because they were more powerful than the government.
It was Voltec, Robco, big mountain and Westco.
And like nowadays, you know, Walmart is Hargit, you know what I mean?
McDonald's.
Weird, huh?
No, it's a proctoring gamble.
Cause they're the ones that make every fucking thing or like Colgate.
You know how many companies Colgate owns that's not to do with a toothpaste?
Well they got candy companies.
What if they perpetuate through the actual cavities and stuff?
I think they might actually.
Even motherfuckers.
Let's see here.
Cause I swear to God, uh, it's, it's what you would not expect it.
Like Dove also owns, uh, like something else.
Dub soap?
Yeah.
Like they own candy too or something like that.
Like the fuck would they need to own candy?
So like, it would make sense if it was like within their own domain, like, uh, uh, like
beauty products.
Right.
But what would Dub need to own candy for?
It's weird.
Kind of Monopoly they run in.
By the way, there's not another game on the planet, a board game that will tear a family
apart as fast as a Monopoly.
Right.
Like let's see here.
Uh, blah, blah, blah.
Damn it.
Like Coca-Cola looks like they own a shit ton of stuff.
And they own Pepsi too.
Be fucking hilarious.
No, PepsiCo owns a bunch of stuff too.
God dang.
What is with these?
So there's no, that's not really one company.
There's not really multiple companies.
No.
They're all in an umbrella of something else.
Yes.
Like, uh, for according to this, this one chart and this, I think it has more to do
with foods.
Uh, PepsiCo, Nestle, Coca-Cola.
She goes out like a fucking fallout company.
PepsiCo.
Yes.
PepsiCo, Nestle, Coca-Cola, Junilever, uh, Dane One, uh, Mars, and then, uh, Mondelaz.
Uh, Associated British Foods and Kellogg's owns almost everything.
The British, so the British did beat us in world and revolutionary war.
They just needed time.
Yeah.
It's, it's quite surprising what they own.
Well, Coca-Cola owns all, uh, so then all this variety of food and snacks is just an
illusion.
It is an illusion.
Yes.
Fuckers, man.
Yes.
Watch his go missing tomorrow.
Yeah.
Like, PepsiCo owns, uh, Quaker.
They own Lay's.
They own-
What the hell did he fucking oatmeal for?
That way they can say it's a healthy breakfast when it's not.
Oatmeal's not healthy?
Fuck.
Fuck!
No wonder I'm 600 pounds.
Yeah.
No wonder.
It's crazy that, uh, they own so much shit though.
Uh, like the, what was it?
Oh yeah.
The, the top 10 mega companies that own everything.
Nestle, Johnson and Johnson, PepsiCo, Procter & Gamble.
Exactly.
Procter & Gamble.
I believe they're Mars, Coca-Cola and Mandela's International.
Mandela.
That sounds about right.
Yes.
So yeah.
I'm thinking about Modela's, right?
I'm not, I'm mistaken, right?
Yeah.
It's not Modela?
No, it's not Modela.
Okay.
That's what I was laughing.
Uh, Mandela's.
What is that?
Uh, they own, uh, Canterbury Eggs.
They own Oreos.
Jeez, that's all they need is Canterbury Eggs.
They make like a billion dollars a fucking month in one year.
This one company, they own Canterbury Eggs, uh, or Caterbury, whatever you want to call
them.
Uh, Honey Maid, uh, Crackers.
Those like, uh, what do you call it?
Uh, Graham Crackers.
Oh yeah.
Those fucking annoying ass Crackers.
Yes.
Uh, Oreo, Ritz, Philadelphia, Cheese, Triscuit.
They own Hulls.
Jesus Christ.
They got like fucking cough drops too?
The hell are you doing cough drops for?
Chips Ahoy and Wheat Thins.
Those are just the few other ones.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Uh, what do you call it?
The Johnson, they own Motrin Tylenol, Nicorette.
Sounds racist as fuck.
You know what Nicorette is right?
No.
The, uh, the cigarette gum, the gum that tries to help you stop smoking.
Oh, that makes you more addicted to that than the cigarette?
Yes.
They own Neutrogena, Vino, Band-Aid, Listerine.
Band-Aid?
The company?
The actual Band-Aid?
Yeah.
I thought it was the brand.
The brand name.
I thought the product was just Band-Aid.
No, the brand name Band-Aid.
They own that.
Wait, so then what are other Band-Aids called?
Uh, they own-
Wait, if Band-Aid is copyrighted-
Bandages.
Oh my fucking god.
The Band-Aid is a brand, yes.
So Band-Aid is a brand?
Yes.
So synonymous with Band-Aids that they're fucking Band-Aids?
Yes.
That is the most power move of power moves I've ever heard.
You're so synonymous with the word Band-Aid that everything else is called a Band-Aid,
even if it's not a Band-Aid.
Yes.
Oh my god, my mind just blew up.
I just fucking, I just came, I think.
Because Johnson & Johnson owns all those.
PepsiCo owns brisk Doritos, Ocean's Tray, Ruffles, Ruffles, Tostitos, Pepsi, Lays, like
they own a lot of the food.
We have Procter & Gamble.
Procter & Gamble owns Bounce, Crest, or yeah, Crest.
Bounce is a porn series.
Where like these women bounce on a trampoline with no shirt on.
No, not that Bounce.
The Bounce that is great.
It's a great movie series, by the way.
These are just on a trampoline butt naked.
That's all you need in life.
I'm a very simple man is what I'm saying.
That's all I need.
No, these are dryer sheets.
Oh yeah, Bounce.
Yeah.
Yeah, they own that.
They own Vicks.
They own Head & Shoulders.
Vicks Vapora.
They own Head & Shoulders, Tide.
They own Pantene.
They own Mr. Clean, Gillette.
They own Febreze.
They can't own a man.
They do.
They own him.
Mr. Clean's in the cell.
Get out there and start promoting.
Like and then Mars.
Like the planet?
No, not the planet.
What if they had a headquarters off fucking Mars?
You're surprising me what they own.
They own Bounty.
They own Dove.
They own Juicy Fruit.
They don't sell them at the dollar stores anymore.
Snickers.
Ah, Snickers.
You know how famous Snickers are?
Like the packaging and the brand?
You don't have to put Snickers on the label?
No.
Because sometimes it just satisfies.
Yes.
And I'm like you know what the Snickers are regardless.
They also own Iams for pets.
They do?
They have food.
Yeah.
And chocolate?
Those evil people.
Kraft Heinz.
They own a bunch of shit too.
Like they're...
I'm learning too much things.
General Mills owns Pillsbury.
They own the Pillsbury Dumbboy?
Yes.
Jesus.
Bisquick.
They own Wheaties.
They own Cheerio.
They own Wheaties?
Yeah.
Barbie Olympia.
I thought the Olympics owned Wheaties.
See, here's how fucked up it really is.
Okay.
When you go to a grocery store, right?
Yeah.
They have Pillsbury.
And what's the other brand that competes with them usually?
Toaster Strudels?
Well.
I don't fucking know actually.
Well, like cake mixes, right?
Okay.
So generally you have like a Pillsbury.
You have like a Duncan Hines.
You have Betty Crocker.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
They own Pillsbury and Betty Crocker.
Wait, so then why are they competing?
So it's just a bullshit.
It's just an illusion of competition.
That's not real.
General Mills owns both Betty Crocker and Pillsbury.
Weird.
I wonder if they make the companies compete with each other to get more like.
They're not really picking up the price a little bit.
Or get more assets from the father company.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like all the companies below the main company are like the children trying to compete for
the father's affection.
So maybe they are still separate, but together, you know?
Yeah.
Actually together.
Yeah.
That'd make more sense.
But it's ridiculous.
Kind of like how the NBA has all these teams that are separate, but they're not really
separate.
That would make more sense then.
But yeah, like they own both of them though.
So that means the recipes are very similar.
They both taste like shit anyway.
Kind of yes.
I agree with that.
It's just crazy.
Like damn.
Our whole fucking world is an illusion.
There is no choice.
You eat and you watch and you read whatever they want you to.
Unilever, oh here's some more that they own I guess apparently.
Oh fuck.
Unilever specifically, they own, this is the one I was talking about where it's hilarious,
right?
So they own Dove.
Yeah.
And on their new ads, they have a bunch of big women, right?
But they also own Ben and Jerry's.
Hmm, because they just combine the commercial together.
After a massive amount of Ben and Jerry's, what can you do to the little Dove with your
life?
It's exactly what it is.
You evil bastards.
They own Axe.
Axe body spray?
So that we don't smell like ass.
You want to smell a little bit less like ass?
Try some Axe.
Oh my God.
They own Vaseline too.
You want to get fucked in the ass?
We got you going.
Oh man.
There's only a few companies that own everything.
Jesus Christ.
I bet your movies are the same thing.
Like four studios and like all these fake studios underneath them.
Speaking of fake though, did you see that?
Remember whenever we were talking, I think it was a couple of weeks ago now, where I
was talking about how people were pointing out that DC may have been using AI?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
They had three covers.
Interesting.
For that specific reason.
They said, no, no, no, that ain't what, no, no, we didn't pull it for that.
They just had some quality issues.
You had to pull them back and retouch them.
Three covers that people suspected were AI generated.
Were pulled?
Were pulled and replaced.
I would have just lied my ass off.
Not them.
They're real.
I would have pulled the wrong, I would have pulled the different ones out just to fuck
them up.
That's 100% telling.
You can't.
Yes.
I would have pulled constantly watching what's going on.
I would have just released them and lied my ass off.
Nothing.
I'd have been like Bill Clinton.
I did not fucking do any AI artwork.
I did not.
I did not have a computer generated image.
I just take that shit to my grave.
But a lot of people were pointing out though, like think about it.
If you collect comic books and they're using AI to make shit for them, what are you paying
them for?
You can do it yourself.
Oh, that is true.
Like you can tie, you can, like obviously it takes a little bit of time because you've
seen that making thumbnails and stuff.
It takes some effort sometimes to do it.
Spend like four hours and I still make a shit fucking thumbnail.
But you can do it.
Like it doesn't take that much like artistic talent to be able to do something with AI.
Just crack my knuckles and go into like QT, JAP, QPT.
All right I need Batman to face off against a new villain called the Diddler.
You be diddy.
That's his real name.
He's so far he's diddled Commissioner Gordon.
He's just diddling the shit out of him.
Gordon just laid up in the fucking hospital bed.
He diddled me Batman.
He diddled the shit out of me.
He took me shopping first.
He bought me all kinds of clothes.
He's not gonna have a record deal and he diddled the hell out of me.
The Diddler.
I tried to resist Batman.
One diddle, two diddle, three diddle, four Batman.
Who will I diddle once more?
If anything I'm gonna be a whore.
The fucking plot twist at the end of the fucking comic book is like Batman busts into a room
and fucking Jason Todd diddles the shit out of him.
He diddled the shit out of Jason Todd.
It's like my god he diddled it.
So that's why Jason Todd became the redhead.
Because he got diddled.
But it wouldn't be like anything related to Pete Diddy for me right?
It would be something random that's not involved in anything diddle wise.
But I'd have to figure out what the diddle would actually be.
What it actually is.
Like what he just brands D's on his butt cheeks.
You got diddled Batman.
Like we just commission going with a big D on his ass.
That way you can sort of play it as a joke but not such a serious topic.
So what would the diddler actually do?
That would be fucking hilarious.
It's like do you want to be diddled Batman?
I was diddled once.
It drove me mad.
That's why the Joker acts the way he does.
The Joker's not the only one offended.
He's not afraid of anybody except for the diddler.
Did you say the diddler Batman?
The riddler can't figure it out.
I can't figure out the diddler's next move.
He's out diddled me.
I'm sort of out riddled with the out diddler.
I can't figure out what the diddler's doing.
That would be fucking wild.
And then we fucking just release him online and then DC's like mad as fuck.
You can't use AI generated artwork and then no shit you can't use J-I-C-A-I generated
artwork.
We need to create that comic book called the diddler.
We should just figure out what he does.
We never explain what he actually does but people are fucking devastated.
He diddled the whole thing Batman.
That would be fucking hilarious.
He didn't leave a single toilet undiddled.
Just random.
Batman's like what the fuck is he doing?
Batman just confused as fuck.
But there's everybody that just has that like shock look of like exasperation at the end.
That Eldritch horror that they witnessed that broke their sanity.
And Batman's like what the fuck is he actually doing?
We can't figure out what he's doing.
He's diddling but we don't even know what that actually is anymore.
I thought I knew but I was wrong.
It's like it's not what you expect Batman.
It never is with me Batman.
Then he fucking disappears in a cloud of diddles.
He vanished in a smoke squirming diddle.
To the point where we never show what it was.
You ever show what the diddle is all?
I guess at the end of the series it would just be Batman like I understand.
And then there's one panel at the end the last day it's just Batman looking away.
You just know he got diddled.
With the light on the side.
He's like he got diddled too.
Oh that would be fucking hilarious.
I'm just trying to not connect it to P. Diddy.
It slowly gets away from P. Diddy.
It's just random.
It's all random thing.
P. Diddy got diddled.
Oh yeah when they unmask him it's not P. Diddy.
He's like what the fuck.
I diddled again Batman.
Sean diddy come on.
I guess one of the plot twists would be like they finally break into some house and they
find diddy diddled.
It's like God diddy diddle diddy.
So it's not diddy.
Diddy didn't do it.
So who's the diddler?
That would be hilarious.
Diddy do it?
Did diddy did it.
I love that phrase.
I'm sorry P. Diddy but you fucked yourself over.
Literally.
It would not be diddy do it?
I think he did it.
Well you heard about OJ too didn't you?
OJ Samson man.
Somebody said now he's going to go tell God if he really did it.
Oh he did it.
There's no mystery there.
I've seen that the other day.
It's like oh well now we don't.
I could have sworn someone he says that was a joke post somewhere that said like he said
like he had tweeted something right before he died.
He just said I did that shit and then his family allegedly deleted it but I'm pretty
sure it's fake.
Yeah otherwise they'd be sued for that.
You know the family would go after him.
If somebody put that post out.
Well he's dead so.
No but that doesn't mean that.
Like think about it.
The family members of different people go after like critics all the time.
God dang Hatfields and McCoys.
You think they're still fighting to this day?
Probably.
They just live across the street.
Fuck you.
Hey man fuck you.
And it's to the point nobody remembers why it even started.
Why are we fighting the Hatfields mama?
I don't know son.
But I'll be damned if a Hatfield ever gets the best of us.
I wonder.
I don't know.
I have too much like introspection.
But like I can't just blindly be like if my family's like we don't like these people.
I'm like why?
I ask questions.
But like at the same time like if I ever get married right and my wife's like I don't like
that girl.
Like I'm like hey bitch fuck you too.
Just whatever she says.
Because I saw one I saw this show once and like this like there was this couple arguing
like this was the whole group of people like on a lawn and this husband comes up like everything
okay babe?
And he's like the guy in the car is like hey Dan and hey Rachel.
And then his wife's like honey we don't like Rachel.
And I'm like oh fuck you Rachel.
The husband on a fucking dime.
But he was right and die immediately.
So whether you're significant others wrong or right you got to back them up.
They could be 100% wrong on any of the subject.
You got to be like well shit I guess I'm gonna be wrong too.
Unless she's really wrong.
I guess it would depend on yeah I would depend on the subject.
So I don't think Nazis are that good of people.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's like oh you supported Mao.
He fucking caught up.
It's like oh Kim Jong Un huh.
You got to be like well he's not that.
And then when you're on the private are you fucking insane?
Man's a fucking megalomaniacal maniac.
He might be the diddler.
For all we know.
No one knows who he is.
Could be anybody.
It could be you.
Turns out Batman was a diddler the whole time.
He just got bored.
He started diddling.
It's like he will strike fear into him.
I'm gonna strike fear in you now for real.
Have you seen that Batman Beyond episode where it's got the young Bruce Wayne or like normal
Batman and then it's got the old Bruce Wayne.
I don't know if you've ever seen that where there's like a time.
Oh the dudsley one?
Yeah yeah.
The unlimited where they go to the future to the Batman Beyond.
It's got Bruce Wayne where he gets that scarecrow lookalike guy and he hangs him over.
He's like my arm is getting tired.
And then you get the old Batman.
I remember that.
He goes what a fucking amateur and he fucking shoves a knife through his ass or something.
But it never shows what it does.
He does what it does.
It's horrific to him.
No he goes I'm the diddler.
All these years.
That's why it's like I'll talk I'll talk.
And even Batman from our timeline is like wait what?
We haven't been a diddler yet.
That's why he's like that's his number one interrogation.
I'm the diddler.
It's like oh my god.
The horror story.
We know.
The Joker died getting diddled.
Oh it's going to be a running joke now.
Well that's it for Fallout.
What's up for your cozy nights?
Well just a random episode.
No more cozy nights.
Seeing as nights of entertainment is like an overall arcing thing it'd be pointless
to have like an actual show.
So this is Fallout and other stuff.
Hope you enjoyed.
Tune in next week for Justice League and more Justice League.
All right what you got for Urban Dictionary today?
No problem.
Let's see what I got.
Fucking eyesight.
I think I got diddle.
Straight in the eyes.
Nobody knows what it is.
All right so we start off on what is it Urban Dictionary with a few little phrases and like
definitions I like to I find hilarious.
Don't take these too seriously and don't cancel me.
First one is Couchmate.
It is that friend that comes over to just sit around and watch TV or movies.
You don't have to do anything to have a nice time out.
Beautiful.
Edward has a couchmate.
They come in.
You guys do nothing.
Just watch some movies.
Play some games.
It's the best time of the whole week.
And no one gets diddled.
Let's hope.
Next one is Soulmate.
This is a bunch of bullshit.
We don't have that soulmate.
It's just something some lonely ass woman or man came up with to make themselves feel
less lonely from waiting around years to find that nobody deserves them anyway.
I'm like god damn.
Somebody's got a blackened heart.
Like bam.
Someone got hurt real bad.
Yes.
Somebody got diddled.
They got diddled the wrong way.
Next one is my fetish.
Bra fetish.
A fetish where a man is turned on by bras whether the woman is wearing the bra or the
man is or both.
Maybe the second part isn't me.
I don't want to wear a bra.
No, no, no.
The truth is that you're afraid isn't it?
I do need one now.
I got some big old fucking cans on me.
I need one.
It's like I got cheese.
Next one is Echo Chamber.
This is a woman's pussy that is so stretched out and out of shape that if someone were
to say anything while going down on her it would echo at least three times.
Next one is hard bass.
Is a genre of dance and music which was popularized in Russia and involves large amounts of people
usually in Adidas tracksuits and leather vests.
Dancing on it.
No, I gotcha.
You got that first shirt.
Dancing in public areas in an aggressive stomping fashion.
The Adidas tracksuits.
Yeah, me when I first read that it fit.
It fit perfectly.
Next one is called Squatnik.
This is why I followed up with the hard bass because a Russian man in Adidas who drinks
vodka and listens to hard bass while doing hopka.
That's why I added it because it reminded me of the fucking top one.
Next one is called Biffa.
Someone who has sex against or in a bin on a night out while intoxicated.
So basically you just lean up against a bin.
Have you seen how nasty some of those things are?
Hey man, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I don't want tetanus and shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Just throw a blanket over it or something.
At that point you might as well just go home honestly.
You got that homeless person sleeping in it.
You can do something fucking, I'm gonna sleep here.
And that's one of Skeet Goblin.
One who is greedy when it comes to the substance of skeet.
Especially when it usually sucks a lot of dick and never shares.
It's a little whore.
Like yes, Skeet Goblin.
Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.
I go into fucking just, I turn out to just go crazy.
I can't say skeet right?
I always fucking devolve into the whole skeet thing.
Skeet, skeet, skeet.
Like from the window to the wall.
Look the sweat off of my balls.
Down skeet, skeet, skeet.
Next one's called Beaver Burn.
So Beaver Burn.
A Beaver Burn is when a vagina, otherwise known as a Beaver Pussy Clamber Toad, is repeatedly
rubbed onto one's face until rubbed during oral sex with a woman.
So they must fucking just grind it into your face.
Until you lose consciousness.
And then you wake up like, why'd you stop?
Next one's just called Jacob Elorty.
I think it's an actor, so I apologize.
But it's just this one giant ass Neanderthal looking motherfucker.
Star of the Kissin' Booth movies and Euphoria.
I don't know who you are bro, but they really did you dirty as fuck.
What's the name again?
Uh, Jacob Elorty.
Jacob Elorty?
So it's E-L-O-R-D-I.
And Jacob's just Jacob.
Yeah.
Next one is called Rectangle Fat.
When a person looks skinny from the front and back, but not from the sides.
Yeah.
I've never seen that before.
I mean, doesn't look like a Neanderthal to me really.
Oh, you know that guy?
Neanderthaler?
Nah, he's just a regular dude.
They just don't like him.
They just don't like him, isn't it?
They just tore at him immediately.
So this next one's called Ursula Tax.
And it's a requirement in certain Facebook groups for new members to post either a meme
relevant to the group or a screenshot of the conversation that brought them there.
And encourages interaction within the group, which also means that the group's posts are
more likely to be seen by other members.
An active group is more likely to be tagged in future discussions.
Named for Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid.
Just like her, the group's admins have the power to take away individual members' voices
by muting them.
And they fail to follow the contract they agreed to.
Originally found in Disney themed groups, the term grown lags high and is now seen here
and there around Facebook.
So be careful.
You get Ursula Taxed, which I never have on Facebook.
I just post whatever.
I just join whatever groups.
They don't ask me for anything.
Yeah, that is surprising.
Well, next one is called YouCorn.
It's a new slang word among the newer generations.
Calling someone corn is short for saying they're weird, stupid, ugly.
You can say it all in one word.
That's like the corniest shit I've ever heard.
YouCorn.
Is it like short for you're corny?
I guess, maybe, but I don't know.
It just says YouCorn.
YouCorn.
And then he was severely beaten.
The person that said that.
But saying that also makes you corny.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I thought.
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
There's a lot of new words that I've heard recently.
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard and I hear my cousins talk regularly.
This is the level that you've dealt with.
So I know dumb shit.
You know dumb shit.
I just fucking tore it to all my cousins with such ease.
That's the funnest part though.
I don't know.
Whenever I was growing up and you as well.
For me, growing up in the hood, you have comebacks to everything.
Just because of the people you used to hang out with.
Like, you have a retort for almost everything somebody says.
Even if you don't say it out loud, you got that thing in the mind.
It's like, you could say that, but then that'd be me.
Might get you fired.
You never know.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know what it is, but like Gen Z recently, like that are coming in that are, cause they're
all around 20-ish.
Somewhere around there.
2022, something like that.
The people that are coming to where I work, they say shit.
It's like, oh, I want to say something so badly back to these people because they don't
understand what they're saying.
It's like, oh, but then if I do, they really will go tell HR.
It's just a lack of grammar.
Who knows?
It reminds me, it makes me think that being on the phone so long, like we grew up whenever
you had internet obviously, but you got to see the evolution of like dial up to really
good internet.
Right.
Like to no internet whatsoever to like, it being such a, who pick with his part of life
now is insane.
But we got to see that though.
You know what I mean?
The people that are growing up that were Gen Z mostly had phones the entire time.
There's some people that I work with that were not alive during 9-11.
That's surprising where they're like, well, that was an insane day for sure.
You know what I mean?
But like for me, I don't even think it's like, that wasn't that long ago.
Like when it was like 21 years ago, 23 years ago.
Yeah.
He was like, oh, what happened?
You look in the mirror.
What happened?
It's just like throwing up drench yourself.
Amazingly, the fucking wall started falling on my reality.
No, the glass just shatters.
Well, now that I have my phone, I can find that DVD of Bounce.
As long as you don't find anything to diddle to.
Diddle.
We don't even know what diddle is.
No.
Once we figure it out.
I got to find the bounce with Janna Michaels and the bounce with Hannah Hilton.
I'm very specific in my pornography.
No, it should be those ones that you'll never be able to find again.
That's usually how it goes.
Like, damn it, man.
All a man wants to do is diddle sometimes.
Like, what's that mean?
I don't know, actually.
It's something I feel.
It's something I sense deep in my core, but I can't explain.
The diddle.
The call of the diddle.
You start seeing that meme of all the like formulations and stuff.
Oh, yeah, at the back of your head.
It's like, what is diddling?
Because it has no meaning for what people assume it to be.
It had to be something so hilarious at the end of the comic book series that people were like, oh, my fucking God.
So it had to be absolutely out of left field.
Yes.
One day we'll know what diddling was.
Because it's not the other kind of diddle.
That's the glory of it.
Because everybody assumes it to be something.
It's not going to be the diddle you think diddled.
Because the diddle you think diddled is not the diddle that's going to diddle you.
That's how you get diddled.
You always get the least expected diddle.
Or you get diddled at the least expected time.
When you're least expecting it.
That's when I'll diddle.
Or what if he just replaces words with diddle?
Right.
Because it's funny.
Well, that's it for Urban Dictionary.
That's all you got for Urban Dictionary.
All right.
Well, you ready to move into our breakdown?
Yes.
Well, luckily they get two of them tonight.
Apparently.
Two?
That's a lot of diddles.
Just the look at it like oh shit.
That's a lot of diddle days.
Well, one of them was a short series.
Because it was a...
Well, each episode is seven minutes.
God dang.
It goes by fast.
So that way it's not too short of an episode here.
I'll still separate it into two different ones for YouTube.
But for everybody listening...
Like, comment, and subscribe.
But for everybody listening to the podcast,
you get two of them tonight.
So the first one is Psyche-Kun,
Master of Killing Time.
Oh, is that what you're talking about?
Yeah.
These episodes are only like seven minutes long.
And about a minute and a half is the intro and outro.
Jesus.
Surprise.
Three minutes gone already.
You played through really short.
A minute and a half completely.
Because each...
The opening is like 30 to 35 seconds.
And then the ending is about the same.
So you get a minute and a half off.
So it basically...
Okay, so the premise of this show is that there's this girl
that sits beside this boy in the classroom
at the back of the class.
She's trying to study and listen to what the teacher's saying
the entire time.
But this kid beside her does crazy shit
just playing games and stuff on his own,
ignoring every fucking thing at the front.
Just random shit the entire time.
So the first one is called Domino.
That's the title of it, right?
So Rumi Yokoi observes her neighbor classmate,
which is Toshinari Seki, right?
As he constructs an elaborate domino show using erasers.
So he just keeps grabbing into his bag,
pulling out these fucking erasers.
Just lining the bitches up.
Makes a bridge out of them.
He makes this elaborate motherfucker at the back of the class
on his desk.
And she tries to stop him because she doesn't want
the teacher to notice it.
She's like, what the fuck are you doing?
She doesn't use the word fuck.
She's like, oh my god, what the hell are you doing?
Because she's trying to be the good student the entire time.
He knocks it over and she's like, oh god, no.
Because it's going towards this one ending piece that says bomb.
Like it's going to make the button press a bomb to call it.
And in her mind she's like, oh shit.
It follows through.
It presses the button.
It shows Seki's mind.
The fireworks going off.
So it never happened in reality.
It was just all in his mind of what was going to happen at the end.
Right.
That's the whole episode.
Huh.
That was quick.
He's just fucking around the entire time.
This first episode is just with Domino's making them out of erasers.
OK.
Just knocking erasers down.
Episode two is called Shogi.
Are you familiar with what Shogi is?
No.
Shogi is a Japanese version basically of chess.
Oh, like the little pieces?
Or like the similar looking pieces?
Where all like wood little.
Yeah, little wood pieces.
Yeah.
OK.
I do kind of know.
So you kind of at least know what it is.
So Seki, he is playing an abnormal game of Shogi on his desk because he carved into the
desk itself to make the pattern.
Right.
Depicting a melodramatic story of loyalty and betrayal.
This girl Rumi cannot help but get invested in what she tries to intervene.
So she like there's this whole story that she's watching play out in her mind while he's
just smashing pieces together.
Like in his mind he's just fucking with stuff.
Right.
Passing time because he doesn't give a fuck.
And she just sees this melodramatic play going on.
Like the king is getting assassinated.
So she just builds like a fanfic of his random movements?
Yes.
So a piece falls and she flicks it back over there which ruins everything for him.
He's like.
Because you never hear him say a word.
He never says a word through this entire series.
Nothing.
Shit.
Like you never hear his voice.
It's just her.
Because he's over here playing these fucking games on his own.
Episode 3 is called desk polishing.
So Seki is obsessively polishing his desk.
Right.
Achieving a mirror like shine that's reflecting the sun back into the glass.
Because he gets like carnauba wax and just starts buffing that shit.
And seeks more things to polish from her.
He's like he looks towards a piece of her notebook or something like that.
And then he polishes.
So she never learns anything every episode.
Because she's just doing the same thing he's done.
Because of him.
Because he's doing random shit.
Remember a teacher once told me and the student next to me like you two are like two blind men trying to row a boat.
Because we're that bad at math.
I was like thank you.
Episode 4 is called go.
It's another game.
With the little round black and white pieces.
Oh I do now yeah.
You do know what go is.
Oh yeah.
So he takes out a go set.
Right.
For his desk.
And he starts arranging them into pictures and shit of like a bear fighting a rabbit.
Making pictures out of it.
And again in her mind she sees this entire story playing out.
With this bear and this rabbit fighting each other.
And then they become a robot.
It's like.
Because it is nice building pictures with them.
Fucking around doing nothing.
And she's got this whole story going on in her mind of what's happening.
I once had a cowboy story.
So like it was a cowboy fighting some other outlaw.
And they were like having a brutal fight in the forest.
Like they're out of weapons or down to knives.
And they're trying to kill each other.
And they tumble down like a hill.
And they end up in front of a bear cave.
And the bear comes out at them right.
So they're a number of words spoken.
So they're like fuck.
In their head.
And then they fight the bear together.
And they end up killing the bear.
And then they're breathing super hard.
They're hurt.
They're cut up right.
They look at each other.
And they go back to fight each other.
And then finally one of them prevails right.
And he's exhausted.
His opponent is dead.
He's sitting on the bear because he's exhausted.
And these wolves come up over the ridge.
And he's like.
And they get up and just cracks his knuckles.
And that's how the little short film ends.
It's kind of like how in her mind.
Just endless fights.
Yeah.
Endless fighting.
Then they become friends.
They team up to fight their doppelganger.
All in her mind.
Oh.
Because she's just looking at the pictures.
She might be more creative than him then.
Kind of yeah.
Well I think it's in his mind he's doing it too.
But you see it from her perspective of what's going on.
Episode six or sorry five is called Eraser Stamp.
Eraser Stamp?
In Japan they have instead of writing a signature for a lot of old traditional things.
They have their own stamps.
With their own little symbol at the end of it.
And you stamp like federal documents and stuff like that with a stamp.
Right.
So in this episode during science class.
Seki attempts to construct a hanko stamp from an eraser.
What type of stamp?
A hanko.
H-O-N-K-O.
H-A-N-K-O.
It's that type of stamp.
A hanko stamp.
From an eraser.
And are hindered by his laid back classmate Akiyasu.
So he makes it.
He makes a case for it to go in out of another stamp.
Yeah.
He makes a stamp out of an eraser.
Makes the case out of something else.
Puts it all together.
And then his classmate which is a laid back kid.
He grabs it.
And fucks it up when he goes to go erase his page at the end of the day.
And you just see this kid Seki like, ah! Ah!
He doesn't do much for that stamp.
He spent the entire class making this shit.
While she's looking at it like, oh!
He went through all this shit to make it.
Or nothing, yeah.
Episode 6 is called Disaster Drill.
So whilst participating in a disaster drill,
this girl Rumi, she notices that there is a robot family
that Seki has brought into class.
Robot family?
They're basically transformers.
One looks like Optimus.
One looks like Bumblebee.
But it's like a family.
Where Bumblebee is the little one and then the two are the mom and the dad.
Huh.
So basically he brought him in and is taking the drill more seriously than Seki himself.
So while they're preparing for what happens during a fire and stuff and all that,
the action figures are taking those positions the way they should
while he's fucking around.
So he makes the toy sit in the positions that he should be paying attention to.
Prompting her to take responsibility for them during the class.
Because she's like, I can't leave them to die in this drill.
So she takes them and moves them for him because he's fucking around the entire time.
Again, he just fucks around every episode.
I wonder what his grades must be like.
Oh, I'm sure horrible.
It would not surprise me.
Episode 7 is called Note Passing.
So Seki, he creates an elaborate post office system
for passing notes around class
with different prices and everything.
Jesus, man.
Where he's like playing the mailman to pass notes.
Right.
He throws in.
He's like the actual hub of the actual mailing service.
Yes.
With many protocols that prevent Rumi, this girl, from giving him a note of her own.
Where he even puts a little mailbox in the back of the room that the teacher doesn't even see.
He can put your mail in for the next day,
but he doesn't pick it up like a real post office.
He just leaves it.
And ends the day.
So he just for that one day, he kind of had a mail server,
but then the next day he didn't care.
But it was just him fucking around.
But she leaves a note in his locker
because it was the note of saying,
you don't need to be playing stupid games like this in class or something like that.
But there's a girl that sees her do it and thinks that she's leaving a love note,
which leads into further episodes after that.
Okay.
That like the little, that's the only thing that tethers shit together really.
Because they're all like standalone episodes.
So then we go into episode 10, or sorry,
episode eight, which is called Shogi 2.
He plays Shogi again.
So Sekirof's another Shogi tale.
This time that depicting a princess who marries a pawn, but is soon kidnapped.
So the pawn takes the queen.
The hostage.
And again, in her mind, she's playing this whole dramatic story again.
Episode nine is called Knitting.
So as Sekirof knits in class,
Rumi watches as he's an expert, as she is an expert,
because this is what she does in her free time as she knits.
Okay.
And she's like, ah, he's got the basic kit.
In her mind, she's playing as he's doing stuff.
It's like, ah, he doesn't even do anything special.
And then he pulls out like a specialty tool.
He starts with doing things that she can't even pick.
Just randomly.
Because she's surprised by some of his maneuvers.
As his final product turns out to be this like bear.
He knits an entire stuffed animal.
Okay.
And she's like, ah, I want it.
What are you into stuffing?
He just has random equipment?
In his bag.
Jesus.
His book bag, he brings different shit every day.
His empty book bag, lacking books and pencils.
Because he just brings random shit to school every day.
Just random shit.
Episode 10 is called Golf.
So during art class, Seki plays a miniature sized game of golf
on his worn out desk.
Because it has little pots, like little divots in it.
While this girl, Sakura, a different girl too, Sakuraku,
she misinterprets the interactions between Rumi and Seki.
So the girl that's always messing with this boy, basically,
like I said, okay, correction.
How I told you that love note thing would come back to bite her.
The girl that's seen her put this into Seki's locker
now thinks that they're having some kind of thing go on in art class
because she keeps giving him these weird looks while he's playing his games.
And the girl behind her is thinking that they're giving each other love looks
and stuff the entire time.
Is he even looking at her at all?
No.
He just looks at her because he's looking down, trying to line up the shot.
Oh.
If nothing, they're good.
So he's playing fucking mini golf on the desk this entire period.
Episode 11 is called Climbing.
So Rumi watches in harrowing anticipation as Seki has a group of miniature bears
doing mountain climbing expedition on the back of the classmate ahead of him.
She's playing up this whole dramatic thing again in her mind.
It's like he's making it up the mountain.
He's just using a little string to make the bear climb up.
This dude's back.
And then it gets knocked out the window.
And then he's pulling it back up like it survived.
Like just fucking around in class the entire time.
Episode 12 is called RC Car.
So Seki studies a set of driving rules in his driving manuals book.
So yes, he does study something.
Yes.
He takes a written driving test and then makes a driving course on his desk
for a remote casual life, which he takes very seriously, unlike the class.
Right.
Where he fails over and over.
Then he comes in the next day and he's still playing the same thing.
He's got bandages on his fingers from trying so many times.
Jesus.
But he pulls off real slow, drives around the corners and stuff with this RC car.
And then she's like, I want to play with it.
And then he hands her papers like you take the test first.
And then he completely forgets about it the next time.
It usually does.
Yes.
Episode 13 is called Pool.
So during water safety lessons this time, Rumi once again becomes invested in the
diligence of the robot family because he brings that robot back.
So like with CPR and everything like that, the toys are doing it, but he's not.
Somehow he sets him up to do it, but he's not doing it.
So it's like the robot family has a mind of their own.
Where they're teaching the little robot wearing a floatie and stuff.
But becomes panicked whenever the child robot is thrown into the pool.
So the little kid action figure gets thrown into the pool.
And she's like, it's going to drown.
What is a pool?
Just a regular pool.
But I mean, where is the pool like in the context of the desk?
It's in school, like outside at a pool.
Oh, the actual pool this time?
Yes.
They actually went to the pool.
So like the schools.
Yeah, maybe that's a boy campfire you just swim around.
He's insane I think.
But this little robot, she's looking at it because it's so little, but the waves in a pool look like an ocean.
Right.
It's like he's trapped at sea.
And she's out there at the end of the class after the kid already found it.
This kid, Seki, he's already found that same toy at the end of the class and put it back with the other stuff.
And she's looking around because she didn't know that he got it.
So she's still looking.
She's like, just a few more minutes.
And her classmates are looking at her saying, God, I can't believe she loves the pool so much.
Like she's retarded.
Episode 14 is called Lunch.
So during lunch break, Rumi is a little disturbed by the manner in which Seki eats the octopus wieners that he has made for his lunch.
Octopus wieners.
Yes.
Lord.
You know what those are?
No.
You get one of those little hot dogs, right?
Huh?
When you slice to it.
Yeah.
And then you cook them and they kind of curl up at the ends.
But the way he's eating them is like he's a giant eating a group of like a little octopus people where he's like slamming the chopsticks through them like with evil facial expressions and stuff.
And she's like, so evil.
He's like a titan.
Sounds like this seems like a fucking like a herby and a stalker at this point.
Kind of is what it looks like.
Because she really does try to pay attention in class and he keeps every time he does something stupid.
She's like, what the fuck is he doing now?
And it just ruins her grades along with his.
Episode 15 is called Paper Sumo.
So there's these little games that you can get in Japan.
You probably can't hear too, where there are these little cardboard cutouts of sumo wrestlers and they sit on this little table thing, right?
And you hit it back and forth and eventually one of them will fall off.
Okay.
But it's a game that kids play, right?
Yeah.
So he brings one of those into school.
And while she is off school, if I can even talk, while she's out of school with a cold, Gato, the girl that still thinks that those two are in love.
She observes Sekki as he plays a game of paper sumo involving a robot opponent.
So it's a little samurai, sorry, sumo person and then a robot version of it.
Okay.
And the robot version keeps knocking the other person off.
It's heavier, so it doesn't really move because it's heavier.
He's knocking it off over and over and over.
And she assumes that Rumi and Sekki have gotten into some kind of fight.
And that's why he's just doing this now.
Like in her mind, she's got a different story going on.
She's got a whole new love story going on in her mind.
That's a weird tangent she went on.
Somehow eventually the actual little paper sumo beats the robot sumo.
And then the final, yeah, like the other dog finally wins.
And he's like, you can look at his face because he's like, fuck that, any toy is supposed to go.
Episode 16 is called Shogi versus chess.
So as the class watches an instructional video, Sekki plays a game of Shogi versus chess.
So you have the Shogi, which is the Japanese version of chess, versing actual chess pieces this time.
The king's game, as they say.
Yes.
In the dark, though, with Rumi, eager to help the Shogi pieces,
they struggle against the black chess pieces hidden in the darkness.
In her mind, she's got this other thing going on again,
the story of like these assassins that are the chess pieces attacking all the Shogi pieces,
which are Japanese warriors in the dark.
Like ninjas versus samurai?
Kind of, yeah.
But where the chess pieces are only winning because they're the black chess pieces.
Right.
He's shrouded in darkness.
So what she does is she starts resetting the piece since they're watching the video in the dark
and that kid Sekki, he's not paying attention.
She keeps setting the pieces back up there of the Shogi pieces, but he keeps knocking off.
Yeah.
She'll set them back up there on the edge of his desk again.
He's like, the fuck is going on?
Why are they back?
The entire time.
Because he's starting to think that there's like a ghost or something really weird.
Because in his mind, then he starts seeing the Shogi pieces as zombies.
Oh.
Like in his...
Yeah.
In his little story.
Yeah.
So she's fucking with him at this point.
But she's so stupid that she gets her dress caught underneath the edge of the chair, so she can't leave.
So she's stuck behind him now the entire time.
Because she can't move because he's moved the chair enough to...
Oh, between their seats?
Or her dress in between their chairs?
The edge of the leg of the chair is on her dress now.
So she can't move.
Because she thought it was so funny when she was fucking with him,
but he got scared and the chair bounced and got stuck on her dress.
Oh my god.
Damn.
She's like, fuck.
How low is her dress?
Uh, to like a school uniform dress.
So past the knees.
Geez.
How did they last all the way down?
Because she was behind him picking up pieces.
Right.
So she's fucking stuck down there?
Yes.
Jesus.
And it just ends that way.
That's the best part.
It usually ends just in a really weird random situation.
Yeah.
Next episode is called Fukuwari,
which is a game that's played during New Year's in Japan with kids.
You have a pitcher and you have cutouts of like Mr. Potato Head almost.
And what you do is...
You know what my favorite line from Mr. Potato Head is?
What's that?
I don't remember the movie,
but there was a situation where he just comes back into scenes like,
you would not believe what I have been through today.
Like, just like the so much of way I'm saying that.
You would not believe the shit that I have dealt with today is basically what he was saying.
It's my favorite Mr. Potato line from Toy Story.
That's a good one though.
You would not believe what I have been through today.
It's like, imagine yesterday.
Like his fucking arms and stuff, like, cause all this stuff can come off.
It's all in fucking tatters.
He just starts doing all this shit on the ground like,
God damn, you would not believe what I've been through today.
I've seen little kids fuck those up.
So it's almost like that though, but during New Year's kids,
you'll put a blindfold on.
And what you'll do is you'll try to match where it's supposed to go on this picture without seeing it.
Okay.
And then you get to laugh at your friends whenever they fuck it up really bad.
You stupid son of a bitch.
They say the most horrendous things to you.
So this kid, Secchi, brings one of those into class, right?
Which soon evolves into him having a twisted story about a family life the entire time.
Somehow he turns it into a story.
So it starts off with this where he's a, like he's blindfolded in class.
Wow.
He blindfolds himself.
How fucking blind is the teacher?
Apparently they really can't pay attention.
How fucking wide is that fucking school room that is so far away that you can't see him?
So he's got a blindfold.
He put a blindfold on himself.
He's playing the game, but he's putting his hands up like God's telling him what to do.
On where to put the pieces.
Right.
And miraculously, it always comes out perfect wherever he puts the pieces.
Right.
So it starts off with a male.
He's like a pompadour.
He puts the pompadour hair on him.
And then it's got a woman, one that comes up beside it and she's like, where the fuck did this come from?
And then eventually he has a normal haircut because he gets married and they have a kid and she's like, oh, they had a baby.
So she's already a mess.
Starts growing up.
Yeah.
And then the kid becomes the same kind of juvenile delinquent that he is.
He's fucking lame.
That's the best part.
He's playing this entire game and he's making a story out of it while he's blindfolded.
He's a crazy kid.
Pretty much.
Very creative.
Episode 18 is called Magic.
So would their desks push together in order to share a printout because the teacher didn't print out enough shit.
Come on now, teacher.
That happens a lot though, even in real life.
So Rumi attempts to ignore Seki the entire-
He's ready to pay for the allocation that they have to deal with.
Yeah.
Fucking god dang school supplies are on high demand.
God, they're expensive now.
You got to fund these schools properly.
Or we'll have very uneducated kids.
Or under educated, I should say.
Yeah, and God knows they need it.
Who's some of these kids now?
My God.
So like I said, they're trying to share a printout, their desks are together, and she attempts to ignore him as he performs card tricks.
He might as well just become a fucking blackjack dealer that day.
Hoping to prompt a reaction from her the entire time.
That's surprising for once.
He's like, haha.
Or he gives that magic magician-
That's because he's a magician, that's why he wants the attention.
Exactly, because he's given the magician like those bright sparkly eyes.
Yeah.
She's a card.
Any card.
And then she takes one, or that he hands to her, and she crinkles it up and throws it back at him.
She's like, haha.
Now you can't mess with that one no more, because it's an ace of diamonds, right?
And then he points the head of him, and there's an ace of diamonds stuck to the dude behind him.
Is this your card?
Exactly.
And she's like, obviously there's two of them.
Like, duh, when you know the trick, it ain't that fucking difficult to figure it out.
And then he flips over the crinkled card, and it's an eight of clubs.
She's like, what the fuck, I actually didn't even print it.
It would have been funny if the teacher had pulled out her book, right?
And one of the cards was in her fucking bookmark.
She's like, what the hell is this card doing here?
And it ends with the printout of a- she goes to go flip over to the second page.
And she sees a card, she's like, when the fuck did that get there?
And she pulls it over, and it's another ace of diamonds.
She's like, what the fuck?
Okay, I am actually surprised.
Did you have the clap for him?
She should at least clap.
Look, he's got those sparkly eyes.
Oh yeah?
Trying to get attention.
Episode 19 is called Glasses.
So this entire episode, Sekki brings various pairs of glasses to see which one looks best on him.
Very vain of him.
It's all he does.
He's just, mmm, like, he's got this entire fucking, like, just a handful of glasses.
Jesus.
Why, she's over here, those look horrible.
Please don't use those.
God, no.
Episode 20 is called Flipbook.
So Sekki is drawing a flipbook comic in his textbook on the corner.
That'd be fun to do.
The entire day.
Which I could draw.
But you know, I would be drawing titties and all sorts of-
But then he starts recording sound effects to it.
Like, where he's whispering into the-
Jesus.
Leaving Rumi curious about the finished result.
So whenever they all leave to the next class, she goes back to that one, right?
Because apparently they're going to lunch or some activities class or something.
So everything has been left there.
So she goes back, she's like, I gotta figure out what the fuck was going on.
So she goes back, she puts the headphones in, she starts looking through the flipbook thing, playing it like it's supposed to be.
And it plays this whole, like, epic story.
Of a kid throwing a little paper airplane and it becoming, like, an actual plane.
And then saying, like, if I could only fly or something like that, right?
Peace.
So in her mind she sees the colorized picture of it too.
Because it's such an epic story.
And then at the end, brought to you by the hobby shop.
Because he got the guy from the hobby shop to record previously.
Brought to you by Hobby Lobby.
Kind of, yeah.
And last episode that they have for this series is personal belongings inspection.
So Rumi learns of the surprise belongings inspection while she's talking to a teacher in the teacher lounge.
Believing it to be the perfect chance for Seki to get busted finally.
She's like, finally.
This motherfucker.
This dirty son of a bitch.
She's like, he's gonna get caught now.
Finally. Thank you, God.
However, she becomes concerned about the robot family that he brings that day.
Because she doesn't want him to get taken away.
Right.
Especially whenever Seki seems to make attempts.
No attempts to hide them properly.
So you have two of the action figures peeking around the book.
The waiter's set up.
She's like, does he really think they can hide themselves?
They're gonna try.
And then it eventually ends up with like the little Optimus Prime one hanging on the seat behind him.
Just hanging on for dear life.
While the other two were staying inside of his lunch, little lunch container.
Where there's a piece of paper pulled tight across it.
Where the other two hide in it.
Then it turns out she had a CD.
Which you're not supposed to bring.
A CD of what? Music?
Yes, a music CD.
What year is it?
A CD, girl. Come on, man.
And the teacher, I'm gonna confiscate this.
Takes it back up front with him.
Damn.
She's like, no, it wasn't mine.
That's a new fucking Taylor Swift album, please.
Please.
She's a Swiftie.
I'm Swiftie.
So this entire series though, the entire series, it's, the title is Master of Killing Time.
Because that is all this little motherfucker does.
Jesus, who writes and draws? Is it Diddler?
He's got so much time to diddle.
He's got plenty of time to diddle.
Don't you dare worry about the diddles.
I've always had time to diddle.
You're always gonna be able to diddle.
Don't worry.
That's not so much worse than...
That was really bad.
You don't want to diddle?
You get lost in the forest. You imagine, might end up getting diddled.
You don't want to get diddled today?
I don't know if I can handle diddles.
What the fuck could it be?
Now it's like, at this point, they can't be anything.
It can be whatever the listener or reader thinks it is.
A diddle.
Whatever you think a diddle is.
Because you know what most people are gonna go with.
Right.
The good old diddles.
But it's not the diddle you thought.
It's the diddle you need to expect.
That's when you can diddle.
Alright, second one we have today, since that one was a little bit shorter.
We have a show called, Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto.
Because he's famous or she's famous?
He's like the perfect kid.
He does not fuck up in any way.
Everything that could happen to him goes perfect because he makes it work.
So like Yagami?
Only more stylish.
And less murder.
Yes, absolutely.
Because for some reason he somehow pulled it out of his ass to survive the investigation.
No matter how bad it went, he somehow survived being caught till the very very end.
Thank God, just that whole thing with the drawer.
They might open it.
Yeah, that overly complicated fucking drawer situation he had.
Just put a lock on it.
No kidding man, put a lock on it or fucking shove the notebook up your ass.
You don't want to find it in there.
Put a piece of it up there.
I'll always have a piece on me.
Oh man, it's under my ballsack.
He lost his motherfucking mind for sure.
A lot of people think that one of the Reapers that's talking to, what's his name?
God, what is the Reapers name in Death Note?
William Defoe.
It could be.
Because that was the actor that played it in that movie.
Yeah.
That was the voice actor.
He did a very good job too, with the voice.
He's probably the best character of that whole horrible movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, he really was.
Damnit, can I remember the Reapers name now?
It'll come to you.
Damn.
But in the first episode there's another Reaper that's talking to him, right?
And everybody assumes that that other Reaper is Light.
So that was like the future?
Because it was him, the normal one from Death Note, it was that Reaper telling the story of Light.
Yeah.
So everybody assumes that that Reaper, because remember at the beginning of the very first episode he throws him an apple cork?
I don't recall.
I remember it's been so long.
Yeah, it's been a while.
I remember him talking to the ghoul, like, where you going, whatever your name is, because I forget.
And he's like, I'm just going to go to Earth.
Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Everybody thinks that that is Light.
Just in the death world now.
So this one, Sakamoto, right?
Episode 1 is called Sakamoto of Class 1-2.
1-2, okay.
So envious of Sakamoto's popularity, three delinquents at Sushi, Mario, and Kinkan
Beat the shit out of them.
They try attempts to bully Sakamoto but fail miserably every single time.
So like, for instance, they'll put a chalkboard eraser up above the door, like that stereotypical prank.
Oh yeah.
He opens the door and it's supposed to fall on him, right?
He just catches it and then throws it into the perfect spot along the chalkboard.
Like, nothing hurts him.
Right.
Every time they try to do something to him, it never affects him whatsoever.
In their recent attempt, they start a fire in the school laboratory until Sakamoto's quick thinking and skills.
He calls Kakuta, a nearby teacher, to put out the flames.
With Sakamoto taking the blame for them, the three delinquents start a light game towards him.
Aww.
Because he saves them basically.
He's like, no, no, no, no.
We were having a chemistry class and you know.
Chip blew up in our face.
Second half of this is called Be Quiet for episode one because they're separating it into two parts every single episode.
So we got...
A miscarriage here, I think it was like three separate stories.
I told you.
Yeah.
Which, hey everybody, he actually watched it.
Hey, there's some titties on that show.
That have a mind of their own.
Always got time for titties.
So the second half is called Be Quiet with the B-E-E.
Like an actual B.
B, okay.
So this girl, Sarah, tries to gain more popularity by defaming Sakamoto.
Or sorry, this guy, Sarah.
His name is Sarah?
S-E-R-A, not S-E-R-A.
Oh, Sarah.
Yeah.
Oh, like Sora from fucking Kingdom Hearts, I think.
Kinda, yeah.
Because Sora can also be a female name.
Yeah.
Because there was one in Digimon.
Digimon.
So during the class session, a hornet invades the classroom.
Sarah, using this opportunity, attacks the hornet, but he becomes endangered by it.
Because it starts trying to attack him.
Hornets are no fucking joke.
Mean motherfuckers.
Sakamoto engages in a sword fight with it using his compass.
A compass?
One of those little compasses from math class.
Oh, those, okay.
I don't think I'm like the actual compass, like the round ones.
And he uses that against the bee stinger of the hornet.
Yeah.
And manages to neutralize the situation without harming it at all.
Just like, cling cling cling cling cling.
Where he's over here just fighting it.
Yeah.
Damn compass.
And having endured the humiliation, Sarah decides to become a comedian instead.
Okay.
Where he decides to make people laugh instead of trying to become popular.
You mean popular by making them laugh?
Well, he was trying to compete with Sakamoto, though, on being popular.
And it didn't work out very well.
Episode two.
First half is called, I want to protect rather than be protected.
So you'd rather be a top than a bottom.
Yeah.
Yes.
I actually had a guy that I work with.
Where he was coming up and grabbing people, trying to give them big old hugs and stuff.
So I'm not into that, dude.
He's like, yeah, but I love you. I want you.
I said, I need you.
I said, just because you want to be a bottom doesn't mean I want to be a top.
Go away.
So he wanted, I want to be, I want to protect rather than be protected.
So with Kubota always lacking money due to being constantly bullied,
Sakamoto helps him by getting them work at a fast food restaurant.
The guy goes to go work with him.
Yeah, works out, like the manager's that devil guy from the last episode.
Yeah.
So I welcome to work.
The devil is a part timer.
They never really talk about like his situation because it's something two separate universes.
So initially unable to cope with his workspace, Kubota later takes a liking to it.
Flipping burgers. He likes to do that kind of work.
It's like, it's fulfilling for him.
Cool.
So during his payday, the two bullies that targeted him, they appear again,
but Sakamoto's advice allows him to stand up for himself against him until Sakamoto arrives
and the two fight back against the bullies.
Of course, Sakamoto is not going to like fight, fight.
He's going to, things are just going to go his way.
So before leaving though, Sakamoto compliments Kubota's secret technique
and advises him to sharpen it.
And that's how it happens.
Okay.
Second half of it is, starting today, I can use the love psychology technique.
All right.
So the second arc focuses entirely on Aina's attempts to flirt with Sakamoto,
which ends up in failure.
Partly due to Yagi and Tanaka, these other girls.
Tanaka, you know the person named Hitomi Tanaka?
Who is he?
He has...
Oh, I think I know who you're talking about.
He has some...
I passed out from the glory.
With the three girls playing a game of Kokuri,
they accidentally make Sakamoto possessed by a spirit who then...
Jesus, that should turn into the exorcist real quick.
...which then orders the girls to build an arc for him in any form.
Yagi and Tanaka uses the students' desks and chairs before Aina finally gives in
and helps out of guilt.
As their operation succeeds, both Yagi and Tanaka start to gain respect
and befriend Aina before heading home.
In the end, it is revealed that everything was orchestrated by Sakamoto himself.
He pretends to be possessed to make the three girls get along basically.
Aww.
He says back like in his...
He pushes up his glasses and he's like...
Fooled again.
Exactly.
Fucking mortals.
Episode 3, first half is called The Gopher, Sakamoto.
So Murayama and the upperclassmen delinquents bullied the first years into becoming their servants.
One of the servants is Sakamoto, whom Murayama tries to put to use
seeing how fishing he is until Sakamoto overwhelms him
with being able to do anything that he asks him to do.
He's like, go do this.
Come on, boss.
He just runs off and goes...
We just turn to the forest jump?
So yes, sir.
He doesn't really say nothing.
He just doesn't...
That's forest jump?
Like he follows out the orders to a tea.
But it fucks the dude in the end because he asks him to do something
and he does it to the tea and gets the guy in trouble.
Well damn.
The second half is called Hide and Seek of Love.
So with Kubota's grades failing, Sakamoto helps him study for the next exam.
Kubota's mother takes a liking to Sakamoto after his first arrival of their house.
And so Sakamoto coming over to study again,
Kubota plans to hide Sakamoto in his house this time
so that way his mom doesn't see him.
Because she's like obsessed, obsessed with him.
Like crazy, like she starts putting on the makeup for him and stuff.
It's weird.
Which mom? His mom?
Kubota's mom for Sakamoto.
Sakamoto's coming over there to help.
Lay, don't be a pedophile.
It's kind of the way it is.
Jesus Christ.
So while Kubota leaves to pick up a textbook,
Sakamoto tries to evade his mother the entire time in the house with initial success.
Spotting a camera and a disc,
Sakamoto uses the chance to trick Kubota's mother into thinking that he fled into the television.
What?
Yes.
So what he does is he records himself.
Say like he jumps over this like a couch or something like that.
Oh so he pretends like, okay.
And then he acts like he jumped into the TV but he's behind it.
But he had already recorded something to make her think, I've went back to my home.
That's a damn genius kid.
Following that incident, Kubota and Sakamoto decide to...
He just slams herself into a fucking TV and kills herself.
Kind of, yeah.
Jesus.
Like she was crazy, crazy.
But they decide to start studying at the library instead.
Might be a better idea.
Yeah.
So episode four, first half is called, Is Sakamoto a pervert?
I'm guessing no.
Kakuta, the class physical education teacher, tries multiple times to catch Sakamoto breaking school rules but fails miserably.
He finally gets his chance whenever he catches Sakamoto eating in health class,
but it is revealed that it is all just a plot to feed an injured bird.
Okay.
So he regurgitates the food back out or something?
No, he's feeding it with chopsticks.
So he's not even eating in class?
Oh, well he thought he was eating because he had chopsticks in his head.
Yeah, yeah.
He thought it was like, ha ha!
Oh fuck.
When is everybody's obsession with this kid?
That's what I'm saying.
Haven't you heard?
I'm Sakamoto.
Jesus.
Because he's like the perfect...
Like the perfect human being.
Yes.
I think Apollo down from Mount Olympus.
Second half is called, Classroom scene omnibus.
Omnibus, huh?
Yeah.
Love that word.
In cooking class, Kanachan encounters a slug inside of a cabbage, which Sakamoto skillfully gets rid of.
In art class, which involves drawing each other as student partners, Ina pairs herself with Sakamoto.
As it seems that Sakamoto sketches her as an orangutan, it is revealed that she viewed the art in the wrong way, and his true form is quite beautiful.
Because she thought he was like, hey fucking drew me as a...
Like a tot-deck chimpanzee.
After a fire breaks out in the school, Sakamoto rescues Achan, who is left behind in the school toilet after everyone evacuated.
So he goes and saves her.
Part three of this same episode is called, The Summer of Sakamoto's Disappearance.
Third part, huh?
Yeah.
So after Achan and her fellow delinquents, his fellow delinquents, accidentally have Sakamoto fall down a hole, which they dig as a prank, they go on a search for him after his disappearance extends to a week.
Jesus Christ.
When they only find his button inside of the hole, they assume that Sakamoto has used Achan's trap to get to the other side of the world, because they're retarded.
Dumb as bricks, huh?
Though later it is revealed that this is not the case, as the hole is actually shallow.
It's like two feet, like in their minds, like fucking like 90 feet down.
Right, it's all in their minds.
So Sakamoto had entered the trap on his own and believing that they were digging in for a hot spring and that he could help them instead.
So he started digging it better.
Of course he does.
Exactly.
Of course.
Episode five.
Let me show you the faults in your hot spring construction.
Look here we got, he pulls out a goddamn architect's journal.
Pretty much.
First half is called softball throwing.
So when it is Sakamoto's turn to throw a softball, Kubota accidentally gets hit causing a nosebleed.
Sakamoto starts the bleeding by ripping off part of his shirt and wrapping it around Kubota's head.
Which makes all the girls fucking go crazy.
Fucking abs just pull out and stare like, oh my lord.
Good guess.
That's the entire thing.
That's the whole thing?
He just turned his shirt off?
That part, yeah.
Because this is another three-parter.
The second part is titled charisma Yankee senior 8-8-2-3.
That is a complicated title.
Seeing Mariama's traumatized behavior as they talk about Sakamoto, Hayabusa goes to see Sakamoto instead.
Due to a misunderstanding, Hayabusa thought that Sakamoto orders class one two girls to assault him whenever they meet.
And is under the impression that Sakamoto has taken control of class one-two.
Hayabusa asks Sakamoto to meet him at the riverbed after school.
But Sakamoto declines as he is on cleaning duty and he cannot get away from that basically.
In order to make him go, Hayabusa's underclassmen try to make him angry by stealing his indoor shoes and ruler.
Which he named Smith.
He's got names on his shoes.
Equipment?
Yeah.
Or his school supplies?
And leaving notes to get the impression that Hayabusa is the one who did it.
Finally, upon seeing a bald Kabuta, Yoshinobo crying, an angry Sakamoto goes to see Hayabusa.
As they are about to fight, a police officer sees them and Sakamoto gives an excuse that they are just playing.
So he saves this dude from getting arrested by the police.
Officer, don't you know who I am?
I feel like that's where he starts every conversation.
But he tells the police that they are just playing Tiaoshi Sumo.
Literally hand pushing Sumo.
That's why he tells them what they are doing.
Because instead of fighting, they are just pushing each other.
Despite claiming that they are just playing, Sakamoto has all the intensions to beat Hayabusa and pushing him.
Which results in both of them in an actual fight rather than a serious match.
After knowing the truth, Hayabusa and his underclassmen go to Kabuto's house to apologize.
And give him seaweed to make his hair grow faster.
And a happy Kabuta throws a seaweed party instead.
He's like, because he's this fat dude.
My hair will regrow.
Because he was in love with his hair.
Like he thought that was the best part of who he was.
My hair is my best part.
But it's kind of down here on my beard.
It just shifted.
It shifted way down here.
And then part three is called healthcare.
So Sakamoto has a fever.
And instead of resting in the infirmary, he wears a tie made out of Welsh onion.
What the fuck is Welsh onion?
Just onions that are from Welsh?
Yes.
Okay.
So episode six, first one is called Go Home Rules.
Okay.
So Megumi, Sakamoto's stalker, and class one two's representative discover a ghost infatuated to him.
And tries to warn him.
In the end, she graduates from being a stalker to a photographer who takes Sakamoto's pictures instead.
So stalkerish?
A little bit.
Other part is several elementary school students follow Sakamoto on their way home.
Oh.
So you got little kids playing games.
But you're our leader.
It's like we don't need to play those games no more because we're starting to get older.
Right?
Oh yeah.
Trying to mature.
Yeah.
So we got Sakamoto playing games like that all the way home where he's like he doesn't walk on anything but the lines all the way home.
So the kids start following him doing the same kind of things.
I sweeten him.
Basically he gets him to walk all the way home by doing it that way.
But they don't realize that.
And then we have cafeteria marketing where in the epilogue, Sakamoto helped the lunch lady to promote her Neapolitan versus subliminal messages.
What?
Subliminal messages?
Yeah, using subliminal messages to get people to like her Neapolitan.
People already like Neapolitan.
That shit is delicious.
The ice cream?
I think so.
Okay.
I can't remember exactly.
I think we're in a wild series.
I know.
What if like the last episode you find he's a syracuse?
Murdering audiences.
Murdering people.
You come into his house and he just horrific sights like bodies and fridges and oh my god.
Like fucking Jeffrey Dahmer.
That shit would be fucking hilarious to me.
That would be fucked up.
The fact that he goes to this cute little show and it gets dark as fuck on the last episode.
And it was all a fantasy that we were living through.
He was actually killing most of these people.
That would be fucked up too.
Don't you know who I am?
And at prison when he's at court right, don't you know who I am?
I'm Sakamoto.
Or did he do it right? He said that right before the electric chair.
Episode 7.
The first half is called Is Sakamoto Really a Pervert?
Is he really a pervert?
Is he a pervert? Is he really a pervert?
Wait so that means that he's a slight weight.
That doesn't make any sense.
It means he's kind of a pervert.
But is he really a pervert?
Right.
So in this one, in a video rental shop,
Achan and friends trick Sakamoto to help them renting an adult video.
What year is this?
It's a goddamn rental fucking video.
2016.
Damn rentals.
If anyone even 2016 they were fucking declining.
You remember Hollywood video?
Yeah.
Nobody does.
But in Japan think about it, they love this kind of stuff still.
The physical media?
Yeah. Unlike here.
God dang it America, you ruined everything.
I know.
I want some physical media.
So after he manages to avoid being detected by Aina and friends.
Come and think of it.
You know where that half price books is where that Hollywood video was?
Yeah.
That's wild.
You know I forgot about that.
I miss Hollywood video.
I used to get Dynasty Tactics 2 every other weekend.
I'll never beat the game.
Guess there's time now.
Just need a PS2.
So he avoids all these girls.
Right?
Sakamoto faces the shop manager at the counter staff and in order to bluff it.
Basically bluff him.
Who suspects that Sakamoto is still underage.
When everything is over, Achan invites Sakamoto to watch the rented videos together.
But Sakamoto escapes immediately.
Realizing that it is still too early for them, Achan returns the videos without watching them at all.
Because he's like, he got it?
But then it's like, I don't want to watch it.
You might as well watch it if you got it.
But he didn't.
He just returned it.
Bit like South Park where they had the Backdoor Sluts 9 video.
The One Ring must be returned.
The second half is called Sarah's French Revolution.
So during Sports Day, Sarah tries to overtake Sakamoto's popularity or at least make his popularity lower.
By sabotaging the event with the cooperation of the rest of class 1-2 boys.
So they're tired of Sakamoto having all this attention.
Despite all odds, the plain back fighters on them, Sakamoto wins in events with his style and his popularity increases as a result.
In the relay race, Sarah tries both of Sakamoto's shoes so that he can't run.
Far from giving up though, Sakamoto bites the baton in his mouth and runs like a four legged cheetah.
Wait, so he just grits on all fours and starts hauling ass?
Yeah.
Jesus.
When he passes the baton, the baton slips from Yagi's hand due to a baton covered in saliva at that point.
Nasty mother fucker.
Which makes him fall down to last place.
Seeing Yagi crying while running, Sarah decides to erase Yagi's mistake from everyone's memory by doing a more memorable event.
By running naked after the baton is passed to him.
What?
Total luck.
To everyone's gross and dismality.
Though Yagi thanked him later on for it.
So this comedian takes off all his clothes and starts running.
Time to go to jail then.
Pretty much.
That reminds me of this. Do you know John Oliver?
Yes.
Back when he was doing stand up, he had a story where he thought he was going to be an athlete at one point in his career.
And he was doing a marathon or like a jog or something, some type of running event.
And he was hauling ass.
And he would realize that he was in first place and he was going to win.
But then he started realizing that for some reason his lower extremities were getting really breezy.
He realized that his dick was hanging out of the little hole in between the shorts rack.
So he said he made a split second decision.
Do I stop or slow down and put my dick in my pants?
Or do I keep hauling ass and win the race?
And he said he decided to keep running, right?
And somehow still ended up in third place.
So dick out, third place, didn't matter.
Didn't matter at all.
I would have...
Imagine all the people watching him.
Like, oh!
He's like 50, that boy's dick's out.
Same thing for this dude, only he decided to keep his butt ass naked.
I like saying butt ass naked even though it's too, you know, butt ass is the same thing.
I like saying butt ass naked. I don't know why.
There's some people that say buck ass.
Yeah, that's what I have.
I say butt ass naked.
Yeah, butt sounds...
Buck ass.
Butt sounds more correct to me.
I can see either ass naked or butt naked, but I don't know how you use both of them together.
It's just funnier.
Butt ass naked.
You see their butt and their ass.
On a fat person, it might be two things.
Episode 8 is called The Cultural Festival is Gloomy.
So Marie Yama, a both-side and upper-classman delinquent,
tried to participate in their school's cultural festival
by making cotton candy cooked from improvised equipment.
Achan suggests to Hayabusa that Sakamoto should be invited to their booth,
and Hayabusa seemingly agrees until Fukase, a longtime delinquent with a strange past,
interrupts and forces Hayabusa to spill out everything about Sakamoto.
What's a strange past?
Like for some reason he's still in school or hanging around the school when he shouldn't be.
How old is he?
Older.
Like too old to be in school?
Like an old delinquent he's not.
So he's a fucking loser.
Yes.
Hayabusa didn't say anything about Sakamoto, and Fukase uses the cotton candy machine to hurt him instead.
So he puts his head in whatever it is.
Jesus.
Meanwhile, in room 1-2, the class is struggling to make their own booth by using balloons,
and Sakamoto improvises everything to make the balloon presentations look attractive and convincing.
Of course he's perfect so he can do this.
Makes him fucking beautiful.
However, two slackers who are seemingly no help to the other classmates
left the room in sulk after Sakamoto's participation.
Fukase approaches them and suggests that the slackers do something to damage Sakamoto's reputation.
The next day...
There's no possibility.
Well the next day the balloons were destroyed,
and wanted posters scattered around the campus accusing Sakamoto for the mishap.
Now a wanted man, Sakamoto evades...
A wanted man.
By the other kids.
Now a wanted man though, Sakamoto evades delinquents who are trying to get him because of the reward,
and Fukase quietly watches.
Sakamoto decides to clear his name.
He goes to the room and sees the slackers reorganizing their presentation.
His classmates convince Sakamoto to admit the mishap,
but he leaves.
Later, a mysterious girl named Aiko knocks on the room's door and admits that she popped the balloons.
One of the slackers utters that the girl is lying,
but Michan points out that they shouldn't know that they left early yesterday.
When the slackers open the door,
it's revealed that Sakamoto is using helium guns and turning the tables against the slackers themselves.
The slackers attempt to pop the balloons while Sakamoto cleverly intimidates the slackers
by popping the balloons using sunlight reflected with Kubo's mirror.
Or Kubota's mirror.
Because he's got this mirror that he's constantly looking at himself because of his hair.
He's this giant fat kid, but he's constantly looking at it.
Oh, the guy lost his hair earlier?
Yeah.
He got it back?
Yeah.
So he's got this mirror so that Sakamoto uses the mirrors to pop the balloons.
Okay.
It's morning, but the confrontation ends whenever the slackers give up and Sakamoto lectures them.
With no time left and lack of materials,
Sakamoto uses the remaining balloons with invitations attached to them
and Hayabusa's cotton candy to craft Yeti costumes as they organize a Yeti hunting game.
As Sakamoto, donning a Yeti costume, runs through the hallway with the slackers,
Fukase catches his eyes and Sakamoto returns to later's gaze.
What the fuck is going on with this school?
So you got this loser, Fukase, still looking like you motherfucker.
You fixed the shit.
How dare you fix the things that I've run?
Pretty much.
Episode 9 is called The Meeting Between Sakamoto and Me.
So Megumi Fujita, along with Kana-chan and Mi-chan, eat their lunch outside
and start recollecting on how they first met Sakamoto.
Megumi met him at the entrance exam where he warmed her trembling hands
by heating up her fallen eraser with frictional force.
So he sees that her hands are cold,
so he gets an eraser and starts to race her real fucking fast and then hands it to her.
But the eraser has heat in the friction itself.
That's how she met him.
Mi-chan met him on the day of the entrance ceremony where the storm broke her favorite umbrella.
Firstly saddened, she then cheers up whenever Sakamoto treats her broken umbrella like a wine glass
and acts like a rain sommelier where he starts catching the rain.
Delicious.
Like they have these fantastical things that happen to them supposedly.
Lastly, Kana-chan met him during the day before the entrance ceremony.
Since she had forgotten her bag, she held all her textbooks in her hands
and as such was unable to see forward.
Whenever she fell down, Sakamoto caught her and Princess carried the books.
That's how she met him.
I guess they're all in love with him.
And while the girls are smitten over Sakamoto's initiations to these things,
Kubota on the other hand reminisces about his first acquaintance to Sakamoto
where his bandage on his ring finger fell off and Sakamoto returns the bandage
seemingly like inserting a ring onto a bride's hand.
He got his bandage back.
You know like at the end of the very last episode, the truth is that they all got kidnapped by him.
So they're all in the dungeon under the house and they're all telling the stories
that you feel happier about the situation.
Trying to pass time.
Yeah.
So Sakamoto each hides Kubota's story, but the girls upon hearing his story
feel envious as the first meeting with Sakamoto was the most romantic.
Sounds romantic as fuck.
Here's your bandage back.
The second half of that is called Nearest Yet Far Person.
So when her son, Yushinobo, comes down with a cold, Shigemi Kubota,
the kid that lost his hair, his fat kid, his mom gets another chance to
romantically pursue her underage love interest of Sakamoto.
Oh fuck.
Because he's sick, so she dresses like him because they look almost identical.
What?
They're both short of fat.
Jesus Christ, that woman's fucking deranged.
Taking advantage of her resemblance to her son, Shigemi dons his uniform and goes to school in his place.
What? That is some criminal fucking activity.
This that's out of place in the show.
Although she has plenty of opportunities to make a move on Sakamoto throughout the day,
Shigemi's efforts are thwarted at every turn.
So every time she tries to do something like if she follows him around the corner,
Sakamoto's gone.
Just random shit.
The answer that he knows is her.
He does. He does.
During their athletics class, Shigemi chases Sakamoto but falls down,
destroying her shell necklace.
Sakamoto picks up the pieces and returns it to her,
realizing that she cannot fulfill her desires to be with Sakamoto and recollecting being a mother to her own son.
What the fuck?
She resolves to prioritize being a good mother.
The next day, Yanasobo discovers that Shigemi prepares a meal for him since he was out.
She's like, she goes overboard and makes him a nice meal for her son because she's like,
I can't have this.
No kid, you can't have this. He's underage.
What the fuck is going on?
But you remember that story that you told me a long time ago?
Which one?
What was it that they updated recently?
I don't know.
In Japan?
Oh, the Economist article?
Yeah, yeah.
About how the age of consent in Japan used to be 13 and they upped it to fuck, I guess.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
That's why it's so more innocent and bad than it sounds. It's not innocent at all.
No.
Episode 10, first part is called Demon Lord.
So during Christmas Eve, Sakamoto is invited by two college guys to a group date karaoke in order to complete their number.
Because he's like, oh, we only have two people. We need one more.
You.
Because they see him walking with a fucking briefcase so they think he's an adult.
Oh.
But seeing how Sakamoto attracts the female audiences instead of them,
they try to sabotage his karaoke moment and until he covered it via his operatic singing of a famous poem, Dürr,
it's German, damn it.
Dürr,
I can't pronounce it.
Sorry.
Let me see.
Maybe I can.
Four pages.
Top in the blue.
Dear Erich Kurgen.
See?
Erich.
Told you.
I told you.
Oh, Erich Konig.
Konig.
I don't know.
A.F. Hitler.
Now you just got us demon talk.
You know what I get? I am good at pronouncing due to the fact that I used to read Tom Clancy novels.
It was Russian names.
Russian names are not that bad though.
You should have seen the one he wrote there.
So that's how that is. He fucks up their entire date night by singing an operatic song.
That's because he can sing so well.
Doctor, that's the problem. I am Pagliacci.
You know that weird Seinfeld episode of that clown, the sad clown?
I think so, yeah.
Where like, what the fuck is her name, Elaine?
And he starts dating this guy and they have to get an opera show called Pagliacci
and he turned into being some weird stalker.
And then him and Seinfeld also have some weird altercation.
So now he is hunting Elaine and Seinfeld.
And he dresses up as the clown Pagliacci.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
He is like bench pressing. He is crying his eyes out.
He does that bench pressing.
Yeah.
That weird song.
I was like, what the fuck episode of Seinfeld is this?
The one episode that always gets me is the Mandelbombs.
I don't know if you remember that.
Oh, the old guys?
I can lift it.
The fucking old man there, his son is older than the dad.
I feel that way whenever I go places for work.
Where you hand it to, like where it breaks their back.
Are you going to help me, son?
The second half is called Lacking Thing.
So Hayabusa seeks Sakamoto's help whenever his father invites him to a fancy dinner with a woman.
He claimed as Hayabusa's stepmother candidate.
Okay, candidate.
To be a stepmother, like his dad's dating this woman, right?
So as Hayabusa has no knowledge about table manners and Sakamoto points out that he can't be learned in a single day,
Hayabusa rents an LL size coat, I guess.
An LL size coat?
I guess it would be...
A large, large size?
My guess is probably extra large in Japan.
Have you ever seen a Forex?
That was some big old blanket.
If it's a Forex, it'll be LLLL.
In which Sakamoto hides in and uses his hands to set a Hayabusa's at the restaurant.
That would be some weird shit.
Later, whenever they find out that Hayabusa's father is cornered by some thugs,
Sakamoto and Hayabusa change places to fight them.
What the fuck?
Because they're both in the same suit.
Yeah, that weird shit keeps happening in this fucking world.
I told you.
The woman turns out to be an extortionist, and Sakamoto skillfully fends them off by using the opportunity to tell a horror story about a person eating French cuisine who grows another pair of arms after an allergy.
He became the diddler.
With four arms.
The forearm diddler.
Hayabusa concludes that rather than pretend that they have something that they lack, they should make up for it for what the other person lacks.
So they make up for each other basically.
Yeah.
Episode 11.
First half is called No Need for Warmth.
So as Yasunobu walks with Sakamoto to school, he realizes that he knows almost nothing about Sakamoto.
Though he assures himself that he will have a lot of time to talk about it later.
Hearing that it is the first time Sakamoto has seen snow, Achan teaches Sakamoto how to play in the snow.
Frustrated that Sakamoto has surpassed him in everything he taught her recently.
Or that he taught her rather easily, Fukase approaches Achan, suggesting that he fights Sakamoto in a one on one battle.
He then decides to fight Sakamoto in a snowball fight, determining to crush him.
Watching Achan trembling in coldness, Sakamoto throws a hand warmer to him.
Here you go, bitch.
Take a hand warmer.
You're over here freezing like a little hoe.
He felt bad because despite his intentions, Sakamoto earnestly just wanted to play.
And even though he even thought about his well being.
As he walks home, Fukase approaches him again.
And kind of apologizes a little bit.
I'm sorry.
Episode 11 part 2.
1-2 memories. So the school's memories.
Yeah, for the little classroom.
Class 1-2 reminisces about their memories throughout the year by looking at the pictures taken by Megumi.
Especially Sakamoto's pictures.
Because they're focusing on him again.
Notable events including the day Sakamoto made umbrella arrangements.
Marathon race day and the day that they went to the beach.
Hayabusa and the other delinquents have a meeting.
And he tells them that Fukase is not going to graduate again that year.
Again?
That one guy won't leave?
The old delinquent.
Sack of bricks.
Ain't gonna graduate again.
Again? Geez, how many times has he failed school?
Multiple times.
Jesus, just let him go.
So Mario and Kinnikan, they point out that Achan is acting weird lately.
And a lone Achan holding one of the pictures gets approached again by Fukase who persuades him to burn the picture.
Alongside all his attachments to Sakamoto.
In the epilogue during the graduation ceremony, Achan walks towards Sakamoto giving him the farewell speech on the stage.
Telling him to disappear with a metal bat in his right hand.
Episode 12.
Last episode.
Well, technically.
Last episode.
It's called So Long Sakamoto-kun.
Okay.
So picking up from the previous episode, Fukase converses with Atsushi who persuades him to eliminate Sakamoto by burning the pictures and his admiration of him.
At the graduation ceremony, Sakamoto initiates the graduation speech by presenting a volleyball he retrieved from above.
As he speaks to the crowd, Achan approaches Sakamoto with a metal baseball bat.
So this is where we left off in the last episode.
Okay.
Achan randomly swings his bat against those who try to interfere in his assault on Sakamoto and Fukase stops the teachers from being able to help.
With the crowd shocked and thinking it is part of his presentation, Sakamoto extends his speech as he evades Achan's attacks until he reaches the rafters.
So.
Having some fucking duel.
Yeah.
So Sakamoto's giving the speech like where he's like, life will come at you fast and the bat comes and almost hits him.
Like it's swinging on him.
Pretty much.
So Achan swings his bat again but slips down and Sakamoto quickly grabs his hand.
However, Achan swings his bat to Sakamoto's hand and berates him at looking down on his personality.
A wounded Sakamoto improvises his speech and tells everyone, including Achan, about believing in friends while he's got his hand is like.
The entire time.
Achan slips his hand and Sakamoto still catches him, proving that Sakamoto has a deep care for his friends.
The crowd is delighted to give Sakamoto a standing ovation because they thought this was all part of the speech thing.
Achan surrenders while Habusa's group arrive.
Sakamoto heads to the clinic to tend to his wounds and talks with Fukase for the first time.
Fukase compares life after high school as a deep ocean while Sakamoto, filled with hope, says that he will swim through the deep ocean and find new opportunities.
That's the whole reason that this dude Fukase doesn't want to graduate.
He's scared of what happens after school.
So he does this delinquent shit that way he doesn't want to graduate.
That's stupid.
Yes, I agree.
Be like a 25 year old with a bunch of 16 years old.
Fucking weird.
So Habusa with hope says that he will also swim through that deep ocean to find new opportunities.
Determined to put an end to Fukase waits outside while Sakamoto approaches him and suggests a nonviolent way to eliminate Fukase.
As the graduates march with Fukase looking on, Habusa and his group enter and congratulate Fukase.
With the help of Sakamoto, Fukase is thrown out during the graduation ceremony.
Kubota narrates the after-money of the ceremony, which Achan was unpunished, believing that he was part of Sakamoto's presentation.
Fukase is seen on a beach holding a surfboard and a rumor about Sakamoto leaving was found out to be true.
Sakamoto was selected by a space administration in America and he will pursue his studies to become an astronaut.
That's what's going to happen to Sakamoto.
Okay.
The class 1-2 class bid farewell to Sakamoto by means of pie throwing, which Sakamoto easily dodges as he leaves the classroom and holds a single pie in his hand.
Habusa also bids goodbye to Sakamoto.
At the school gate with Kukada guarding it, Sakamoto approaches with smothered pie on his face because he doesn't tell himself to say,
Y'all couldn't hit me, but fine.
He is asked who he is as his face is covered by pie and he simply says, he is Sakamoto.
And then we have an ending episode 13 that's not really an episode, but it's like an overview episode called, Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto, the Movie.
So following Sakamoto's departure, the students come up with different ideas for making a Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto movie.
Later, upon finding photographic evidence of Sakamoto being in America, the students try to imagine what he is up to, ranging from training to be an astronaut to being a student at a Martian high school.
Meanwhile, in America, Sakamoto was enlisted as a shuttle pilot and has been able to overcome a leakage in the fuel tank, therefore successfully bringing the shuttle back on course.
That's what would supposedly really happen.
He became an astronaut.
So he's an astronaut. It's a random choice for him, I guess.
But there's also a lot of dark theories about this anime.
What?
Yeah, there are dark theories, obviously.
But one of them...
Was it a serial killer?
No, a lot of them say that he was basically dying of cancer, so he lived his last year as best he could and then he passed away.
Ouch.
Yeah. Like a lot of dark theories like that.
But those are the two stories that we have, or the two...
Dark-ass Rugrats theories.
There's a lot of those.
Some real dark ones.
Like really dark.
About the family being dead.
Or like the kid dying in childbirth and the dad just imagines everything.
Yeah.
Some weird ones. I was like, God, Dave, this is a Rugrats show, please.
Well, those are the two deep dives that I got today. Ready for some Reddit?
Yes.
Let's see what kind of stupidity we have today.
Don't you know? I'm Sakamoto.
You might like it if you've actually seen the anime, though.
It's kind of like you didn't think that you would like Miss Caretaker.
I knew 100% I would like it.
Just a boos-a-ba-boom.
Fucking titties are hers.
And then she goes to go hug people and it's like...
You know what the best thing about it is that they're proportionally realistic.
Sad enough, yes.
Instead of being ridiculously overdeveloped.
Right.
They fit her body type.
Yes. But they are gigantic.
Like how big?
They're like that in nature.
How far have you gotten into the series?
I stopped jacking off after the first episode.
Because she has a sister in the later episodes, remember?
Do you have some big old titties too?
Nice.
Is it Roads of the Family?
Yes, it is.
What did you think of the part, whenever you seen that, she's like, oh, you're normal size for your age.
I haven't seen that part yet.
You haven't seen that part?
I think I only saw the first 10 minutes and then after I was like, oh, we're ready for our recording today.
I was watching it today.
Today?
I think I really do think Diddle did it.
Diddle did it?
Diddle did it.
All right.
We will see you guys next week.
Adios.