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Hello and welcome back to the podcast. I'm Michael. I'm Noe. And we are the Knights of

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Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown movies, games, comic books, anime,

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and more weekly. We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show. Let's go ahead

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and get started.

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Oh, shit on my shirt. All right, welcome back to Cozy Nights. So we start as always, Cozy

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Nights with the weirdest of news I could find. By the way, the other day on Sunday, I went

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to go buy four newspapers. Them bitches called me 1750. And I didn't even find a single story.

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Really?

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I don't know how they do it in the news of the weird, those three guys. They must just

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burn through newspapers every day. Because I'm going to try it just on the weekends because

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you know it's expensive. But it's not like if it's just four newspapers on the weekend,

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it's still 80 bucks almost in a month. So I'm gonna do it a little slower. But I didn't

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hit much gold this time. But there's always next Sunday. Anyway, so I've got some stories

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from the news of the weird by Chuck Shepard, John J Kahoot and Roland Sweet. I said five

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of their stories that they uncovered, five news stories. The first one is, so this 22

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year old kid in Wichita, Kansas, he tried to pass off two counterfeit bills. The bills

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were a $16 denomination.

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What the hell?

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Like at first I thought he was a moron, right? But then I started thinking like maybe he's

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not maybe like a lot of people don't know a $2 bill is real. So maybe he thought they

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gave us like, Oh, yeah, it's a $16 bill. And it's got like Abe Lincoln on it or something.

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And so that's what I'm thinking. Like, but still, I would have been like, this is this

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isn't real.

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I mean, I had whenever I was working in retail, there was a person that said, you know, it's

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funny as a $2 bill. It's like, so it's true. Like, he's a good, he's just devastated his

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whole life. It was everything real valued. I ruined his little saying that he had because

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it's supposed to be as funny as a $3 bill. But it's funny as $2 bill. And he's just like,

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real. And you just pull out, you just randomly put it out. I'll be the way.

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I also have the same thing to where a guy was paying with $2 bills. And at the time

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I was collecting them because it's like, you don't see them very often. Right. So it's

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like, I'll pay you you know, the exact amount for those $2 bills. He's like, you know, those

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are fake. So like, no, no, no, no, no bills are real. He starts crying. Yeah. That would

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say but yeah, like, I guess he thought like he but I guess he he he ran into someone that

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was a little bit smarter. He says things aren't real. They don't even look real. Well, think

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about the people that don't know dollar coins are real and 50 cent pieces are real. Those

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are real. Yeah, so he got arrested. Turned to pass two of them to a whopping $42 or $32.

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I'm not too good with the math. All right, so this next one is this was kind of funny.

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So these two guys, they broke into a slaughterhouse and they stole 1200 meat parts. I say meat

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parts because they were 1200 animal rectums. They didn't know they were stealing basically

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they were stealing inedible rectal tissue called the renettes which are used to cure

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cheese. Oh, so they couldn't even use it or eat it. Just had a whole bunch of asshole

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that they couldn't do anything with. One of them even tried to appeal at the Colorado

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Court of Appeals because when the officers arrested him and they found out what they

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stole, they laughed at him. So he said that that was an infringement of his constitutional

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rights. What constitutional right? That's what the judge said. A constitutional right

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cannot be laughed at? I guess so. You know what's funny? When I read the word animal

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rectum, I burst out laughing because I also would have fit in. You stole some animal asses

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animal assholes. Good Lord, he was eating ass. They took eating ass to a whole other

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level. 1200? See, that's socially unacceptable. Eating that much kind of ass? That's the level

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that we found. That's the final level? You're just going to be eating all that kind of ass.

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Remember when we talked about that it's like what was socially acceptable? To eat ass.

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Yeah. Oh man, that's crazy. Forgot to add my little timer. Hold on. So yeah, she shouldn't

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be eating pig assholes. I guess not. That's crazy. 1200. You come home one day right in

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your room and it's like why are there 1200 assholes in this fucking room? Rennets, I

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guess. Yeah, it's a secure cheese. I guess to make cheese. That's even worse. It's like

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what cheese are they using? What cheese are they making with these? Big booty dairy. I

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don't know. I couldn't find a B word. I can tell. Because they got some big booty dairy.

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All right, next one is a, this one's fucking crazy. So there's a law in Italy back in the

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70s. I don't know if it's still in there now or if they just got rid of it, but you could

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not arrest a woman if she was pregnant or had a child that was under six months old.

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So this female thief avoided arrest for seven straight years by having seven babies back

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to back. Oh my gosh. This woman's iron uterus was just pulling them out for seven straight

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years and they could do nothing to her because you know, the minute she had one, right, she

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would get ready for the next one and she would, the other one was still within the six months.

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So she was like good until 1979 when they were like, oh, it's been seven months. Guess

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where you're going. They still arrested her eventually. Could you imagine the cop that

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would just wait seven years to arrest her? But hang on, how does that math even work?

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I don't know. That's what it said. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because yeah, within seven, it

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only takes nine months. So well, I was thinking, cause if she's pregnant too, you're right.

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I was thinking it's like, how do you have a kid? Plus, I mean, like she could wait like

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four months and then have another kid and right there as long as she is pregnant and

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she has a kid that's under six, she's fucking sad. She was separate. She could have been

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free to this day if she was still knocking them out. Just a hallway. He's like 57 kids.

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That's a lot of children. Yeah. This next story is, so in Crown Point, Indiana, this

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guy was so mad at his wife or not at his wife, but at the fact that his wife got a parking

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ticket that he cocked his shut 102 parking meters. He took the, I don't know how long

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it took him. It must have taken him all night, but 102. Now, if you look at it logistically,

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right? That means that he was, he went to every single one. He cocked his shut and he

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moved on to the next one. There could have been cars constantly going by, even if it's

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late at night, right? There's always somebody, there'll be a homeless guy, the cops. That

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means he got to 102 before they arrested him. He got 102. Can you imagine? That's a lot.

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I can't fucking take my trash out or leave my parking lot in my house with seven cars

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behind me, but this motherfucker can cock 102 parking meters and no one finds him until

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he's done. That's crazy. Was it a small town? I don't know. 102, probably not. Wait, where

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did you say it was? Crown Point, Indiana. He was just cocking away. Imagine if he ran

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out of cock and went through the store and bought some, he probably had bags of it, just

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fucking, did you imagine? He's got to reload the cocking gun. Imagine the guy at the fucking

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store, he was like, cock it. So yeah, you got a new part of my house. I'm like 80 bottles

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of cock. Oh God. You might waste more money than the parking ticket costs. Yeah, because

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each tube of cocking is about four or something. And we don't even know what years this is

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because it's on top of the year. Yeah, it could be like 1985, it costs like $15 now.

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It isn't cheap now. It's at the dollar store. If you ever get your hands on it. It's the

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most liquidy water. It's worse than if you just use toothpaste. Oh God. You can probably

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actually think about it. You could probably use some of that dollar like the from like

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Family Dollar, dollar store, Dollar Tree, any of those really, really cheap toothpastes

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probably work just as good because like concrete fog. All right, last story for the day for

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the news anyway. So in 1984 in East Hanford, Connecticut, this female stripper was charged

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with animals cruelty and sexual assault. Yeah, I see that you're like, wait a minute, one

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of the other. You're probably thinking that she bang a donkey on stage because she's a

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stripper. No, no, I was thinking the gerbil. What she did was that she had a monkey in

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her act that will pull her dress down and expose her breasts straight to jail. That

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was much, much more tame. Yeah. Right. I was like, that's it. It's like, oh, did the monkey

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fucking slap both titties before he hopped off her back or something? And even then it's

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like a chimpanzee would do that anyway. So yeah, she got in trouble for that. I don't

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know what happened to her, but that's just they said that she was charged. Yeah. I mean,

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oh my God, I can already tell like you'd have to demonstrate to the judge, right? Yeah.

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So here you go. He's gonna be watching the show with a donkey, a monkey and a woman.

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Right? Because like they would have to demonstrate like your honor, she has to demonstrate to

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the you know what I mean? Yeah. Don't you look it up. No, I'm not. No, I go. You open

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up that can of worms. Oh God, no, no, no, no. Actually, I had a piece of weird news

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for you. Oh, from Oklahoma. You know, I'm a connoisseur. It's pretty bad. Is it recent?

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Literally a few hours ago. Does it involve children? Yes, it does. And does it involve

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children? Yes, it does. Yes, I'm well aware. I told you about weird news connoisseur. I

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am well aware of the fucking disgusting video of little kids licking people's toes. Did

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you hear what they were licking off of it? It was something off of the toes. Peanut

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butter. Hell, I know. Was it some fundraiser? Right? They said or supposedly? Yes. This

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is this is their the district's response. The district. The district said I would have

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been like y'all some fucking freaks. Yes. The district said that on Thursday, Deer Creek

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High School hosted an assembly called Clash of Classes. First to pay to attend students

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in ninth through 12th grades volunteered to participate in different class competitions,

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according to the district. Deer Creek Schools noted that every student who participated

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signed up for the games they played ahead of time. They claimed that they played ahead

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of time and that no Deer Creek faculty or staff participated during the assembly. I

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did never see my fucking face. The district also said students were paired up with corresponding

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grade levels for the competition where students were seen in the video licking toes that had

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peanut butter on them. Of what other students or? Yes. What kind of freak shit is this?

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I don't know. That's some people's fetishes. Why? That's a lot of people's fetishes. People

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pay for toe stuff. They pay high dollars. But in school? I don't fucking I don't know.

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That's not that you would do. That's not me licking toes. I don't like toes at all.

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No. That's fucking. They're gagging on toe. I'm not a foot connoisseur as one would say.

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That is weird. It's a weird like it's not. It's not something you do in a school. I'm

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sorry. Right. It's not something you do in a public place either. Because like how do

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you go back to school the next day? It's like if you're on camera and shit. Yeah. They were

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all on camera. Oh, whenever I seen it though it came through on my feed because I don't

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usually get Oklahoma news like on X or anything like that. I love dinner. Kind of just glancing

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through some stuff and it's like what the fuck is that? And it's like oh that's in like

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China or something. I don't know. I saw it on the local news yesterday. Oh and today.

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See I thought it was the third world country they were doing this in. I don't know what's

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happening in the world. I don't either. I don't even know the context to this. It's

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a fundraiser. They all signed papers. Papers for fucking what? What the fuck cancer? What

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the fuck is going on? Like what is the fundraiser here? I don't know. Who wins here? The people

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licking or the people being licked? I cannot think of any excuse that they could ever conceive

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of that explains this. Like a little Nickelodeon defense. That don't even work in this case.

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It does. It did for years. Do you know the Nickelodeon case? I haven't seen it in a while.

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So for a time in like the early 2000s, mid 2000s maybe. Right. 07 is what I want to say

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for some reason. During the time of iCarly and shows like that like Drake and Josh. Oh

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okay. A little bit after that. Yeah. One of the major executive producers of Nickelodeon

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if you remember there was a random foot symbol Nickelodeon for a long time. And for whatever

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reason a lot of the kids shows had a lot of foot content. And it turned out that one of

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the executive producers was a huge disgusting foot fetish guy. Not saying it's disgusting

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to have foot fetish but the fact that he had children. Right. Right. Right. Right. You

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can like tell us all you want. Just make them sure they're of age. But he had a massive

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foot fetish and he made these kids do all these weird foot fetish type challenges and

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stuff throughout the shows. Like foot fetish content in the shows for some reason. Right.

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And until I guess I don't know what happened to him. Hopefully they beat the hell out of

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him with a phone book. But uh. So there you go. Foot fetish is everywhere. I mean Quentin

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Tarantino likes feet but they're all you know legal. That man have you ever seen the movie

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there's more toes than that movie. Than in like any other. They mention the times you've

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seen toes in movies. Oh the worst is Constantine though. What? With uh what's her name whenever

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she's stepping on his head. Oh yeah. Full barefoot. Ugh. It's like it's like it's kind

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of like this shit and it like goes in his mouth first. Like it does it but that'd be

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fucking hilarious. Fucking junk. His mouth wide open. He wouldn't be a fucking freak

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wouldn't he. And then he real jumps off and I'm gone. Oh my god he wouldn't do that shit

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too. It's like now slap me on the other side. I'm fucking devastated now. I forgot about

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that stuff too you reminded me. Yeah. As far as it from my memory I thought. When you're

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talking about weird news it's like that's some fucking weird news right there. Yeah

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and I knew about it but I just I was gonna talk. If anybody wants to look it up it's

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in the. Don't. Don't. Don't. No if you want to see the responses for Deer Creek Public

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Schools in Edmond Oklahoma. Some nasty shit. Question mark smiley fish. Talking about

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news recent. I didn't talk about it because there wasn't enough time to like really research

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it. Right. I don't want to just like jump on fucking people lick and toe. But it's too

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late now. There's another one that I was going to talk about till I knew more about it was

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that Willy Wonka thing in Scotland. You heard about it? I seen that. I seen that. Everyone

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lost their fucking mind. Because it was the most poorly fucking put together amusement

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park in the history of mankind. I seen it. Like fucking like it was a warehouse the size

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of a fucking air air hangar air hangar with like fucking three three people working there

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and like fucking two or three fucking decorations and that's it. It's the unknown. The unknown.

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I'm like who the fuck is the unknown. What a lot of people pointed out is you thought

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this was going to look like a CGI AI create like a beautiful like Willy Wonka esque. But

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they were they looked at they showed the pictures. It's like that ain't real. What were you people

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thinking? Some people travel traveled like like miles to be there. I know. Spent forty

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dollars. They were going to get a handful of jelly beans and a quarter glass of lemonade.

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Probably pissed on their face too. At this fucking rate. So a lot of people were saying

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in the comments because I saw mostly on TikTok was like traumatized children angry parents

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just like Willy Wonka in the Juggle Factory. The mission accomplished. You do the justice

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basically. Oh God. All right. So we're done with the news for today. We'll move on to

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we might be done for the news forever. You nasty bastards. We can move on to the cozy

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kitchen and I have a little bit of a history story for those that wonder about Kentucky

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Fried Chicken and it turns out the Colonel's Secret's recipe is not eleven herbs and spices.

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Go figure. Because the Lord goes that the KFC is made from a combination of eleven herbs

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and spices. Right. Turns out all is made of is salt pepper flour and mono sodium glutamate.

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MSG. Good old MSG. That's all they make. That's all they make fucking KFC out of. I was at

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it and MSG is salt on crack according to Uncle Roger. Salt on crack. What is MSG? It gives

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more of like an umami flavor to stuff. So like whatever you put it in it kind of accentuates

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the flavor a little bit. They actually said that way the KFC is so fucking KFC. Yeah.

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But this chicken tastes like so much chicken. Yeah. What's funny is that you can probably

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buy it at different places but like at Walmart they don't sell it as MSG. They sell it as

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accent. Accent. Accent. That's the name of the product. They don't put just MSG but that's

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what it is. Isn't it because it has like some terrible conditones to it or like undertones.

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People are like oh that machine is bad for you. Everybody assumes that it was bad for

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you for a long time but it's not. It's the same thing like salt's bad for you if you

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eat high doses of it. You know everything in moderation. Yeah like if you had a table

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spoonful of salt you're dead. Don't do it. But just in general you know like it depends

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on how much of everything you eat so if you use it the same way you would with salt just

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on different stuff you're fine. Moderation people that's all you need in life. Just moderate

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yourself. The next one is Coca-Cola. Now yes it does come from Coca-Leaves and back in

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the day it used to have cocaine in it and they say that now it's 99.5% sugar water but

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even if they took all of the cocaine out of it even if 99.99% of the cocaine from the

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coca leaves was removed there's still millions of cocaine particles would still be floating

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in the cocaine. And what's funny too is another fact with that. They actually take the they

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ship the coca leaves to somewhere up like. Oh I know what you mean. They drain out all

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the fucking cocaine and give it to a laboratory for research. Then they get the leaves. Yes

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and then they turn that stuff from the laboratory into codeine and stuff like that. Right. Yeah

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and then they snort it or something. So basically one so the researchers or like this medical

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facility or whatever they get the cocaine and Coca-Cola gets the leaves. Yep. With no

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cocaine so they say. But I mean like Coca-Cola sells out like nothing nobody's business so

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you tell me if they have cocaine or not. And you can't compare Coca-Cola to Pepsi they're

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not the same. You don't get that same fucking rush and grit in your teeth as you do. Coca-Cola

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doesn't make you like taste your teeth. Yeah it doesn't make you rub your teeth together.

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That's a good coke right there. You don't feel that fucking tinge of a disappointment

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when you hit the last drop of coke. Damn. Your Pepsi's like oh I'm out of Pepsi cool

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but when you're out of Coke you're like ah damn. It's even proven that ants there was

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somebody that did that experiment on YouTube where they put the drops of Pepsi in Coke.

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The ants drank the coke first. Gotta love that cocaine. Even ants love it. Everyone

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loves cocaine. And they allegedly that that ant that jumped on that spider to fight it

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that screamed out Valhalla he had a bit of Coke the Coca-Cola before he jumped on it.

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His dad. You ever seen that video. Yeah. He's just like Valhalla and he jumps on that spider.

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He fucking took a hit of Coca-Cola before he hopped on. It was mercilessly eaten to death.

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Alright now we move on to the I got two recipes today. Oh you don't want to disappoint the

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people in the comments this time. What he didn't like zucchini? Why I was that my fault?

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I didn't make the recipe. I'm just reading it as is. I'm not Gordon Ramsay god damn it.

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I thought that was funny. He was mad as hell. I don't like zucchini either though. I agree

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with that. Let me tell you the first one's okay. The next one's got one ingredient and you'll know

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exactly what it is when I say it that you might not want to add to it. Right. I wouldn't but the

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fact that it's on here I was like huh? So let's start with the first one. This one's Alfredo mac

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and cheese. So you need 12 ounces of large elbowed pasta. One 15 ounce jar garlic Alfredo sauce. One

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one one and a half teaspoon of paprika. Two cups shredded cheddar eight ounces. Two cups shredded

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rotisserie chicken six ounces. Three cups chopped kale about one ounce. Grated Parmesan cheese

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optional. So you heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Coat two and a half quart baking. Is that right?

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Quart baking dish with cooking spray in large pot of salted boiling water. Cook pasta according to

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package directions for al dente. Reserve one cup pasta cooking liquid. Drain pasta well. Return

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pasta to pot. In pot with pasta stir in Alfredo sauce. One tablespoon one teaspoon sorry of

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paprika. Reserve cooking. I just gave the wrong ingredients and they fucking blow their brains.

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Their taste buds explode. One teaspoon paprika. Reserve cooking liquid. One and a half cups

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cheddar then chicken. Transfer half a mixture to the baking dish. Top with two cups kale. Top with

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remaining pasta mixture cheddar and kale. Sprinkle with remaining paprika. Bake until hot and bubbly

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about 20 minutes. Boil two to three minutes if desired. Top with Parmesan. Let stand 10 minutes.

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Now as an easy variation you can make it a chicken and broccoli mac and cheese if you sub in the two

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two frozen cups of broccoli florets thawed for instead of kale. So you're looking at a serving

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of six. Active time 20 minutes. Total time 45 minutes. Calories for 550. Protein 30 grams so

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there you go. Fat 26 grams. 13 grams saturated. Cholesterol 105 milligrams. Carbs 49 grams.

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Sodium 760 milligrams. Fiber 3 grams and sugar 3 grams. So you got some delicious Alfredo mac

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and cheese. Now we have the next one. This one is a barley chicken stew. Sounds fucking delicious.

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Sort of. Till you get to the end. So you need three carrots. Two celery ribs. Two tablespoons

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olive oil. Half of one 12 ounce package frozen chopped onion thawed, drained. So it's like one

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and a half cups. One tablespoon curry powder. Two 14.5 ounce canned chicken broth. Three cups

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shredded rotisserie chicken about nine ounces. Three fourth cup quick pearled barley. Six cups

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whole leaf spinach. One three cup plain nonfat yogurt. Don't you look at me or talk to me. Don't

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you say nothing to me. That's what it says. One third cup plain nonfat yogurt and then chopped

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celery is optional instead of the yogurt being optional. Chopped celery is optional. So you peel

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carrots, diced carrots and celery in pot heat oil over medium heat. Add onion. Cooks. Cooks

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stirring occasionally until softened. About five minutes. Add carrots, celery and curry powder.

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Cooks stirring often until softened. Seven to eight minutes. Stir broth in two cups water into

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vegetable mixture. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low. Partially cover. Cook until flavors

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blend. About 10 minutes. Stir in shredded chicken and barley. Cook until barley is tender. Ten

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minutes. Stir in spinach and yogurt. If this is stir it chopped celery. I don't make these up.

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This is exactly what it says. You got a serving at six. After time of 20 minutes. Total time 45

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minutes. Calories 250. Don't put in yogurt. I wouldn't. No because that'd be like getting a

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creamy. Yeah it says that. A swirl of yogurt gives this warming bowl like delightfully creamy

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texture. But if that was the case wouldn't you use like a heavy cream or something? I don't know

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you gotta yell at the person who wrote this. I don't know for no idea. Maybe they like nonfat

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yogurt. It's gonna be like adding zucchini to the dimples. So we're like calories 250. Protein 25

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grams. A lot of protein in these. Jack is the damn yogurt. I got protein from the yogurt. Fat is 7

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grams. 2 grams saturated. Cholesterol 60 milligrams. Carbs is 23 grams. Sodium 410 milligrams.

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Fiber 4 grams. Sugar 4 grams. Dig in. In fact put 2 and 2 third cups of yogurt in there. Well it

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depends on what kind of like soup you're making but I've seen like adding milk to like cheddar

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like broccoli cheddar soup and stuff or. Oh yeah. Like powder. Yeah. Stuff like that but. Yogurt's an

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interesting choice. Yeah. Especially if it's plain like you ever tried Greek yogurt just plain? You'll

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fucking shit your pants. That is the sourest shit I've ever tasted in my life. Take a cum shot before

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I take fucking yogurt. You're thinking about that though? It also adds sour to it. It isn't just. Oh

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yeah. It'd be sour as fuck. Like I can see adding like you can want to add cheese or something like

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to get it to be creamier or even milk. That would make more sense than kind of take jizz before I

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take fucking yogurt in my fucking soup. Just fucking blast one in there. I wonder what it would look

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like if you shot a load into a soup. It just fucking would have glopped. See now whoever makes this

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recipe they're gonna be thinking about this while they're adding yogurt. I don't know. Yogurt's

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an interesting. Yogurt's like its own thing. I just don't want it near my soup. Maybe like if I went

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home right. Right. I went to no I go to Walmart and I buy those delicious fucking cans of like

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pre-made soup. Like. Just put some yogurt in there. Yeah wild rice or like some fucking wild turkey

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and like what's that word like gumbo or something. Uh-huh. I go home I fucking put it in the microwave.

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I fucking take it out. I taste it. It's missing something. I look in the fridge and I grab the

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fucking green yogurt and shove that shit in there. There it is. It is a very weird choice. Maybe

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in other parts of the world we could be wrong. But I'm forever wrong. I'm always right. I know what

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you call common sense. You know. Goddamn yogurt in my fucking soup. I feel like putting yogurt on a pizza.

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People do put Philadelphia cheese sometimes. How bad is Philadelphia cheese. Why are they called Philadelphia cheese.

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Do they use animal rectums to make them. No. Nobody. I don't even know what the hell you'd use those for.

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What cheese. Cheese that you don't want. The kind of the fucking bot flies on them. I don't know man.

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Like they must like they just drape them over cheese or something until they fucking drain them.

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They're called renettes. I've never heard of renettes before. They probably use it for that cheese that they make out there in France or Italy where it's got the maggots in it.

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I don't know. The maggot cheese. No maggots are good to heal wounds as long as you don't leave them in there.

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I delete to like the dead tissue. You gotta throw them out. I'll delete the recipe.

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Bleaches are also gonna drain your blood but you know we don't do that no more either. No.

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Maggots. Anyway. I'm a little bit like devastated because all in my head is just fucking people licking toes.

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I still haven't gotten over it. I haven't had yogurt to the fucking stew. You got people licking tails. You got the unknown.

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I'm fucking devastated today.

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So we're gonna end the day with a new segment. Or not a new one but the one I haven't done much is Travels and Curiosities.

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Where we travel the world from the comfort of our couches so we never leave the couch. Or what we call armchair nomads.

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So these are a couple of locations I found that were interesting to me. I got these from Instagram. Atlas Obscura's Instagram.

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On Instagram. I don't know how to say it without too well. So in Scotland there's a medieval abbey that had restorations done back in the 1990s.

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And one of the stonemasons thought it'd be fucking hilarious. They had his own touch to one of the gargoyles.

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So he made a xenomorph from the Alien series. So if you go there you're like that one looks that was not like the others.

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So if people didn't know he had done this in the 90s. People would go there like do you see that?

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They made that abbey in the 1540s and there's an alien on there. Like yeah okay calm down. That means aliens are real.

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But no some guy did that in the 90s. He loved that movie. I love those movies.

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Fucking Sigourney Weaver in her underwear in the first one. Alien. Oh six foot. She couldn't get it. I love them tall.

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But like heights is what I should say. Getting into the alien stuff like Cat Williams and Rogan.

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I'm too busy with the world right now. What to do with aliens?

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Next one is in Barcelona Spain. There's a cemetery that has this really cool statue called the kiss of death statue.

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It's basically a skeleton with wings just kissing some dude on the cheek and like whispering you're fucked.

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Time to die. That's what it looks like to be honest. Like the guy's on his knees and he's like oh I'm dying.

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The skeleton with the wings is just like a little pick on the cheek right before he rips his spine off his asshole or something.

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Next one is in Boise Idaho. Close to home. There is in Boise Idaho the big Idaho potato hotel.

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This is a big potato in this fucking farm that you can rent out. It's inside of the hotel.

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It's shaped like a potato. It's just a fucking potato. I know yeah. That's how boring I know it.

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I'm sorry I know I'm sorry. This is coming from people that live in Oklahoma.

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Yeah you get to live in a potato. You can hang yourself on the fucking ceiling. In a potato.

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In a potato. It's a good it's a good like uh part of your fucking list you want to fuck a potato.

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Mash it. I don't know. You can make mashed potatoes. It's weird because like the hole in on the side right looks like you have to bend down to get in.

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So it's like it's like it looks like really low until you go in and it's like it's higher in the middle.

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Right. So it's just like it's just like a it's just a hotel like it's like a fucking it's just a tube that they put a couple of beds in.

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And like a lamp a fridge maybe some sex toys I don't know a swing. Use a potato.

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Use potato with a hole in the middle for some reason.

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But it's just a potato that's all it is. God really. Plus imagine like if it's like like metallic right.

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Everything you hear is like amplified like echoing. You can clap your cheeks and you can

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and you can be clinging everywhere. They just be like you just be like

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and then you gotta you gotta get the rhythm and then you get the

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and then you'd be hearing that too yeah they're clinging like uh oh.

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Oh they really doubled down on the potato thing didn't they.

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And I don't know the only thing we have more of is that potatoes is more potatoes. We don't have nothing else.

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This last one is uh well me being a uh a bibliophile and that means I like books.

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I'm not a pedophile but whatever weird thought you thought uh like maybe like oh he matches

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the base of the bible or something. No. A Biblophile? He jerks into Matthew Luke. Oh god.

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A bibliophile is a person that really enjoys books. I have more books than I have time to read.

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And I never have time to read. I can vouch for that.

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So this is in Toronto Canada. There's a bookstore called the Monkey's Paw and they have a custom.

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It's called the BibloMat. It is a custom vending machine that they had made where you take a token

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which is worth about five dollars. You put it into the BibloMat and you get a free book.

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A completely random book. With my luck it'll probably be Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey

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or some shit I don't want to read. A copy that they're trying to get rid of? Exactly.

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Like the copy like oh damn it. Like I put in like three coins for 15 dollars. I get back

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all three volumes of fucking Twilight. Like oh dang. Fifty Shades of Grey. I'll probably

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read Fifty Shades of Grey. I kind of want to see that because I saw What's Her Name Dakota Johnson

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when we saw Madame Webb. I want to read Fifty Shades of Grey. I want to. No I don't. What am I?

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Who am I fucking kidding? I don't want to read that shit. All right guys so that's it for uh

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well nothing that's it. I guess we can do a little bit of afterthought. I'm fucking

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devastated right now. My brain can't get over it. I just imagine.

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Don't take another tapas.

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Fucking he like licks over a corn and he's like.

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I gotcha. Don't you fucking vomit here. Then we'll all be fucking throwing up.

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I thought you didn't throw up no more after your incident.

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He means that I had to clean up vomit at work. Does that mean something else?

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You're gonna go to the worst possible place. Oh god the incident. People always look for the worst.

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And what could be the incident? The incident really was from a kid where he just oh he fucking

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chucked all these carrots. Then they just left. They fucking did. We're sorry. We're so sorry.

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I fucking cleaned the shit out of it. Like you had to harden your stomach. If not I'd have vomited

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too. Be cleaning up your own as well. Yeah be cleaning up my mask. Everything. So yeah like

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it hits me sometimes because like sometimes something's just nasty. Like the lick of the

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peanut butter toast. What did they go like? They go like in between each one. Did you see in the

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video? I did not actually. I watched on the local news. I didn't watch it that close. No it was on

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the like the everything was blurred. I know but I'm not even blurred. It's like oh oh.

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Where did you get a lot of explaining? Yeah. Oh god. These are these high school kids. It's like

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what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah they're all freaks anyway. You can already tell.

372
00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:03,320
They all consented to this I guess. I don't remember a class. I would never like it. They

373
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:08,280
just go like all right students who wants to lick toast? You know what I mean? Like what the

374
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,880
how did this fucking conversation? That's what I'm saying. How did this even come about? Like

375
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:18,040
there is no good. There's no good answer they can give. No good spin on this fucking ring at all.

376
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,680
Fire they made. There's no silver lining. There's you know nothing. It's like we raised 18 dollars

377
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,760
from the one guy that wanted to speed lick. From the one guy that fucking videotaped it all.

378
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:34,600
Oh god. Well that's it for Cozy Nights. I'm gonna take a shower.

379
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,720
All right everybody we uh we'll see you next week so as always uh what was my outro? I don't

380
00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:50,280
remember anymore. I'm fucking devastated right now. My day can't be softer. It's like the reverse of

381
00:36:50,280 --> 00:37:01,800
soft. It's deflating. So uh you know stay cozy. See you next time. All right what do you have in

382
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,160
Urban Dictionary? I can't go on from that. Urban Dictionary? Let's see.

383
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,560
As long as it doesn't involve toes.

384
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:23,560
What is it? Urban Dictionary. Where is it? All right so what we got? What did I do here? Holy shit.

385
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,360
All right I looked up for some reason I added this massive one off the back called Maryland's

386
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:36,680
Eastern Shore and is uh known by some as Bumblefuck or the Vortex. It's a place where most people who

387
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,680
are born there want to get the hell out of there but can't and no one else thinks that it's the

388
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,680
most fun place in the world which would explain why real estate values keep down or doubling.

389
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,840
They wrote the book on the fisherman's way of life so don't try trash talking, pick up trucks,

390
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,040
sailing, crabbing, or just sitting in a little rowboat with a cooler full of worms and beer.

391
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,240
However the area's quaint feeling natural insular behavior or background are the perfect conditions

392
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:03,720
for the influx of culture going on at the moment. This is the island the wedding party went back to

393
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:10,040
in wedding crashes. Oh that's why I added this. Politicians love the area especially in Tolba

394
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:14,200
County where there's a lot of republican sympathies as opposed to the western shore

395
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:20,200
but also a fair few music producers stay to chill out and enjoy very low maintenance lifestyle.

396
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:25,240
Only warnings don't get too violent if anyone pipes you. Don't know what that means. There's

397
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:29,320
a distribution of normal old people and cops hate teenagers who get so like arrested for things like

398
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,800
loitering and underage possession of cigarettes. Solution boat parties. Disclaimer avoid cameras at

399
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,400
all costs unless you feel like investing in condoms to wear as gloves you'll need them.

400
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:44,680
Okay I don't know what that last part man must be filthy in Cambridge. Before you touch anything

401
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:53,400
put a condom on. I guess so. Orange YouTube the pornhub. It's used by people that cannot mention

402
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,120
the word pornhub on the platform they use because they will censor them so there you go. Orange

403
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:04,440
YouTube is pornhub. We've been censored a long time ago so. Have we? I haven't even noticed.

404
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,480
This one's called little stud. It puts on a small penis and likes to use it a lot on people.

405
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:14,840
It also has a strong like in the door handles. I don't know I don't know that but maybe like

406
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:21,480
to stick the dick in the lock or something. Give him a gap. This one I'm proud I don't have thankfully

407
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:26,040
it's called swamp face. It's uh swamp face is someone whose facial hair grows in like patchy

408
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:36,440
semas. As you can see I have a luxurious fully formed beard. Your bro a hoe. Worse than your

409
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:41,880
sister and mister or your dad lesbian your mom gay your grandpa your grandpa have a tramp or

410
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:49,480
your granny a tranny. So apparently your bro a hoe is the worst one. Your granny a tranny though

411
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:54,520
that's a that's a good combination of words. I do love me I do love me fucking uh what's the word

412
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:59,960
language. I love the English glamour. I can't even say English glamour. English glamour. Gramour.

413
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:05,000
Glamour English grammar. This one someone wrote just to be an asshole that Mr. Ramos

414
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:10,600
this this guy is an asshole this is an asshole math teacher. So Mr. Ramos sorry but you suck at math

415
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:19,880
apparently. And he probably teaches it. This one's called Mississippi long river. What? When your shit

416
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:27,320
when your chick shits on your dick. Mississippi long river. No I'm good. I don't need that no.

417
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:33,000
Encore what you call a really really bad case of the clap. The encore. Because it came back for a

418
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:44,120
second. I guess uh you get another round of it. Three four five six seven eight all right nine

419
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:48,760
just making sure I'm on the right number. Ten at a time. This one's called a dirty Spartan. It's when

420
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,040
you're fucking a girl from behind and all of a sudden you yell this is spartan kick her off the bed.

421
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:55,880
That's a good one. Yes.

422
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:02,360
He's fucking kick her in the back of the ass. You could just make her go flying.

423
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:07,240
This one's called hoochie. It's an off brand of uh uh Gucci for the hoochie mamas.

424
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,280
It's a knockoff brand from China. Basically. You want some hoochie?

425
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:21,240
Kind of like Fubu. Or is it foe boo? What is it like uh bofu like buy us fuck you.

426
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:28,920
Yeah because the original was foe boo. From uh how high. Yeah. I love that movie. Uh because

427
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:34,760
the guy that uh created foe boo he's on shark. Or is it boo foe? Buy us fuck you. Yeah I think

428
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:42,760
it's buy us. Yeah. It's boo foe. Is that a foe boo? Yeah. So that's it for uh urban dictionary.

429
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,600
Right. You guys might not know this but we're devastated from a recent video on Monday.

430
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,520
We haven't fully recovered. If you're listening to the full podcast you just heard all about it.

431
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:58,920
You heard all the fucking horror. Now there are three things that I would like to uh to bring up

432
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:04,120
that don't have to do with anything um any segments that we have right. But there are

433
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:10,520
a couple things right. Number one Wendy's has forgot what company they are. I don't know if

434
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:16,280
you've seen this article going around recently but they tried to have um what would you consider it uh

435
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:24,520
pricing based on how busy they are. Interesting. So they would raise the price if they're busier.

436
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:32,840
So if it's low no one goes. It's a regular price. Wait so it's just a default like it goes higher.

437
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:38,920
When they're busier. They have lost the fact that they're a fast food company.

438
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:45,400
Heesh. And nobody wants to pay extra. No. Like what the hell. Especially not for fucking Wendy's.

439
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,440
Right. This probably would have gone on Cozy Kitchen.

440
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,240
Well that's why I said I don't know what segment or anything would have went in but still.

441
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:58,680
Okay Wendy you must have lost your goddamn mind. And then I also heard I don't are you familiar

442
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:05,400
with uh who Hassan Piker is. No. Don't know who Hassan or uh Azmingle. Oh that guy yeah.

443
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:11,240
Okay they're streamers right. Oh Hassan the crazy one yeah. Yeah yeah the the communist.

444
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:19,080
Communist with asterisk marks even though he makes me. Regardless he uh he went on stream and uh he's

445
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:26,200
like you know it's hard being a streamer and it just takes away it just robs my souls.

446
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:34,440
And he said that his job is harder than a regular job. Yeah it must be nice. Yeah. Do you know how

447
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:41,080
many people came out like bro what the fuck did you just say. You said and he said it just drains

448
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:47,800
my social battery. You know how rich you have to be to have a social battery. Most people you go

449
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:53,720
to work. You fucking deal with the absolute fucking uh what's the word I'm looking for here. The

450
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:58,840
absolute fucking roller coaster that is mankind. Yes. And then you go home and you fucking cry and

451
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,920
you go back the next day. And if you have something that you have to do after work you go do it.

452
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:08,040
Regardless if you want to or not. Regardless of what your social battery level is at.

453
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:12,760
You have to go do it. He came out after that he's like well you know I could just it just robs my

454
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:18,280
social battery. And like if I had to do physical manual labor after doing this I could just I would

455
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:26,440
do that. I think I'll do it then. If everything is so easy go do the go do the manual labor jobs.

456
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:32,680
He acts like uh streaming like don't get me wrong I understand that streaming and you know all that

457
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:38,760
kind of stuff if you're doing it for hours at a time it might get taxing after a while. But as a

458
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:44,920
streamer that you're as big as Hassan Pyker or Asmongold or any of them. How big is he? He makes

459
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:51,080
millions he makes 200,000 plus a month. Like never heard of him. Yeah must be nice making millions.

460
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:58,200
Yeah yeah yeah yeah. With a limited limited fucking uh uh world uh what's the word I.

461
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:05,640
Yeah and see I have two points with this though. One I understand that you can feel drained and it

462
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:11,080
can be taxing in different ways right. Like you can think god I have to constantly do streaming

463
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:16,600
and stuff like that. But the response to that you can also cut it down. Like you have the luxury of

464
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:21,640
not having to work as much every day if you don't want to. Maybe we don't know. They could have

465
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:27,080
contracts in place they have to like do a mandatory whatever. I know Twitch is like that. Like if

466
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:33,080
you're a Twitch affiliate you have to do a certain amount of like hours a month you're like fuck.

467
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:37,320
Yeah but he does this every day. Well he'd be all right. That's what I'm saying. You could if

468
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:41,800
you're doing nine hours a day supposedly cut it down to five. You're gonna still make the same

469
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,640
amount of money because people buy your stuff they steal and then half the time they're just

470
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:50,440
letting the video play whether or not while they're eating and like bro you're not working

471
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:56,600
but working. He watched my mukbaka videos. Yeah kind of. Yeah it's more of that kind of thing.

472
00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:02,440
I don't know. But regardless you know. No idea. I have no idea what he's up to. That was my point

473
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:10,040
though and my rant is if everything is just so damn easy aside from streaming go do it. Like I

474
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:15,480
don't care. You can come with me for a day. I'd be crying by the end of the damn day. You could work

475
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:20,360
it where no way works. Oh my god that would ruin you for the rest of your life. Or I'll make

476
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:27,160
you stronger. Sure will make me stronger. You know I think you'd collapse. I don't know. I don't

477
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:33,800
know the guy. I've seen uh seen not necessarily a lot of his stuff but he comes up regularly on X

478
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:40,520
and stuff like that like clips. Or it's like bro. Bro. That's easy. I watch porn stars on X.

479
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,720
What are you up to today? Oh some titties.

480
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:57,320
I'm gonna move on with my. If I'm not writing or reading uh uh books or scripts or watching

481
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:02,600
pornography. I don't know shit what's going on in social media. But like I said those it's two

482
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:07,320
things that don't fit into necessarily a category or anything but two things that lost their.

483
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:11,320
Maybe Wendy's. That's what I was gonna say. Two things that have lost what the meaning of what

484
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:17,080
they are. A streamer you're supposed to stream. Wendy's your fucking fast food. How the hell do

485
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:22,360
you think that you're gonna raise the price of your burgers during high traffic? I'd be putting

486
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:29,640
cocaine in them burgers. With their their fresh patties. Their square fresh patties. Oh yeah the

487
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:35,240
square patties. I could never get over those. Like where do I start? Where do I bite? What corner?

488
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,760
Because if you bite the center you're just like oh why did I bite the center of it? We can't go to

489
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,240
McDonald's. They'll give me a fucking mini mac again. We can't go anywhere. We can't go to

490
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:48,680
Wendy's. We can't go to McDonald's. That's what I'm saying. The fast food place has lost what they

491
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:55,480
are. See the fucking line with the lemon service and spices. They had crack. It's. I can't cook

492
00:47:55,480 --> 00:48:02,520
my own meals. What am I supposed to do? But that's my little little short little rant that didn't go

493
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:09,080
with anything else. Look at this fucking hair. Like right underneath my leg where my beard is.

494
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:15,240
This motherfucker always goes into my mouth. Every fucking time. At least it ain't a toe. At least

495
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:21,640
it's not a toe. God imagine in the video one guy one person stops and they take a hair a toe hair out

496
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:29,560
and then they go back to the leg. Oh you know somebody has one too. I'm so fucking devastated.

497
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:37,240
All right moving on to our breakdown for the week. We are covering

498
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:48,120
uh it is Sukumichi Moonlit Fantasy. What is that? It's an Isekai. What's an Isekai?

499
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:53,880
Die and go to another world. Oh one of those. Yeah there's always a bunch of those. What is

500
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:59,800
with that weird genre? It's like my life wish. I'm 13 years old and I died and I went to a better

501
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:04,600
life. You're definitely starting your life at all. I don't understand if you were 89 right? Well a

502
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:11,480
lot of the new ones and a lot of what there's a lot of them that is middle-aged like salary workers

503
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:17,800
that pass away. Is that not kids? So we're gonna die. What if we die we go to a worse fucking place?

504
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:23,560
There's some other Isekais out there. They're just brutal like even more like uh. Well remember we do

505
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:29,640
a fantasy or redo a healer I mean. I think so. The one that we never aired. Oh yeah yes. That was one

506
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:34,920
of those. Remember it was a horrible one. Wait I thought he was he from somewhere else? I think

507
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:43,640
originally yeah. Where he died and became a healer they abused him like the the pigs that we talked

508
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:50,120
about in the first segment. I know. Yeah they never aired. Yeah you guys will never hear that

509
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:57,320
because that shit was fucking dark as hell. The darkest Isekai. I mean look Overlord has some dark

510
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:04,040
moments in it like uh where Demiurge uses uh human skin to make scrolls but that's still nowhere near

511
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:12,920
as dark as the redo of a healer. Yeah. So this one's the Tsukimichi moonlit fantasy. The thing is moonlit

512
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:18,200
fantasy is what's kind of like offsetting me. It's not that dark. I don't know. I felt like that

513
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:23,080
it's not like that was freaky is what I'm saying. Uh no it's not like that really either. Boring then.

514
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:31,800
Uh it's got some comedy elements to it and stuff like that but uh episode one is called failed hero.

515
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:42,760
Failed dot dot dot hero. So uh Mizumi Mikado uh is transported into another world to become a hero

516
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:52,440
by the god uh Tsukiyomi. The other world's goddess deems Maka Maka no too ugly and banishes him to her

517
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:59,640
world's wasteland. Jesus yeah. Is it a guy or a girl getting wasted? You went ugly. You went ugly

518
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:08,680
motherfucking. Like huh? God dang how fucking ugly is it? He looks kind of normal but just gets fucking

519
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,920
shit and puts a paper bag over his head and throws him out. Basically that's what she does to him.

520
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:21,800
Infested with uh non-humans and monsters in the wasteland. She sets him to this area because it's

521
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:29,880
so ugly. Uh giving him only the ability to understand all language except for human. Gee thanks.

522
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:36,920
Please. He's so fucking ugly. I can't understand 90 percent of the population.

523
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:45,160
Because every human apparently in this world is like model level. It's like beautiful. Wow so.

524
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:52,520
So she looks at him and he's like oh god you're ugly. So they're all like a fucking 11. He's like

525
00:51:52,520 --> 00:52:03,640
a seven. They're like oh six maybe. A six. God dang. So uh Sukiyomi intervenes which is the

526
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:10,600
god that's of earth. Basically the the god of earth that he uh he sent him to that other this

527
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:15,400
new world with this goddess because it was like part of their deal or something like that that

528
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:23,640
the gods had. So Sukiyomi intervenes explaining in uh Japan uh Makoto's abilities were restricted

529
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:28,440
by modern life but in the new world he is quite powerful and free to do whatever he pleases in

530
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:34,920
this new world. So after wandering the wasteland for three days Makoto saves a young orc named Emma

531
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:41,960
where she's got like a she's a pig kind of looks like uh Miss Piggy. Only little.

532
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:49,800
Wolf uh she he saves her from a two-headed wolf monster which he kills discovering how strong he

533
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:55,720
actually is. Emma explains she was supposed to be a sacrifice to the god Shin to dispel the fog

534
00:52:55,720 --> 00:53:01,640
around her village so crops would grow her crops would grow. She takes him to her village where

535
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:06,840
Makoto begins to learn magic like fireball the basics that you would normally get in all

536
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:16,840
uh dead lord in these uh fantasy style anime. Makoto decides to destroy Shin turns out as a

537
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:23,480
giant dragon who uses the fog to create illusions. So like think Chinese dragon type dragon.

538
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:23,980
Lollahs?

539
00:53:23,980 --> 00:53:24,480
Yeah.

540
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:33,480
Uh he becomes intrigued I mean uh by his memories of Japan. So uh this Shin dragon

541
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:40,120
uh can see Makoto's memories basically. Uh Makoto breaks the illusion and is surprised when Shin

542
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:45,720
offers to make a contract with him to become his familiar because they're interested in his life

543
00:53:45,720 --> 00:53:51,320
basically and the memories that he's got. So Makoto agrees and they form a contract with Shin

544
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:57,960
transforming into a busty samurai girl looking forward to what Makoto will do in the future.

545
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:05,480
So then we go into episode two that's called Black Spider of Disaster. So Makoto discovers Shin is

546
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:10,280
obsessed with his memories of historical dramas and samurai. Like that's what she's with she's

547
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:15,880
focusing all on the samurai and stuff like the new like movies that he has seen. Oh yeah. And it's

548
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:22,920
like oh what is this oh what is like it intrigues her so much. Turning into seven samurai. So she

549
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:27,800
teleports Makoto to the alternate dimension where she normally lives but finds it now resembles

550
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:35,640
Japan's countryside. So by being making a contract with Makoto basically his influences turned her

551
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:42,200
alternate dimension into what he wanted which is Japan's countryside basically. He wanted feudal

552
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:50,040
Japan? Or like just the the way Japan looks like uh top uh topographically you know like mountains

553
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:56,360
stuff like that. So Makoto informs the orcs he defeated Shin who offers for the orcs to live in

554
00:54:56,360 --> 00:55:01,640
her dimension which is now ideal for farming because it's like the farmlands of Japan at this

555
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:06,600
point. Shin continues watching Makoto's memories but demands they figure out how to build a

556
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:11,080
television where she can store his memories. A television? Because she sees what a television is.

557
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,720
How the fuck do we make a television? Half of the stuff we use in this modern world we don't know

558
00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:23,080
how to fucking make. Exactly. So uh Makoto decides to discover more about his parents whom Tsukiyomi

559
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:28,520
the god told him were born in this world that he's in now before moving to Japan. So apparently they

560
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:34,520
dimension hopped at some point and that's why he would that's why Tsukiyomi the god of earth

561
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:41,320
had the deal with this goddess of this world to send him back because his parents moved to

562
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:46,520
to earth. Ah dang this is going just everywhere. Yeah yeah are you following this so far? Sort of

563
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:50,840
it wasn't hopping dimensions left and right like Rick uh Rick Sanchez. Dick.

564
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:57,720
Uh Shin appears when an injured dwarf explaining their dimension is being attacked by a spider

565
00:55:57,720 --> 00:56:03,800
called the black the black disaster that is cursed with eternal hunger and consumes everything.

566
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:10,600
Okay. My bad lad. I wish it was this Scottish like the Mike Myers character from uh you know

567
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:18,680
me a fucking hilarious. Get in my belly. It's basically the way it is though. So Makoto manages

568
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:24,440
to completely obliterate the spider but collapses as the spider regenerates. Shin tries to intervene

569
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:30,600
but the spider suddenly declares the extreme violence has satisfied its uh uh what would be

570
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:36,280
masochistic hunger. He's just like I'm hard as a rock right now see you guys later.

571
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:41,560
And she is determined to stay with Makoto forever at this point. Oh fucking like a spider companion?

572
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:47,720
Uh Shin suggests the spider also form a contract with Makoto to gain a human form

573
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:51,400
and she agrees with Shin performing the ritual despite Makoto being unconscious.

574
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:57,800
Fucking titties just flop out. No she's kind of like more like a uh one of those traditional

575
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:03,640
Japanese girls like from the like old school feudal. Boy geishas? Uh not geisha just the

576
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:10,840
dress like a kimono and stuff like that. Makoto awakens and finds he has a new similarly busty

577
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:17,560
female servant. I bet your titties be flopping out. It makes him slightly nervous. So he's got

578
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:24,840
Shin which was a dragon and then he's got the he's got the other one now where uh she was a spider,

579
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:29,560
a giant spider and they're both like forces of nature in this new world. It'd be cool if they

580
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:35,800
each had a back tattoo. One was a dragon then one was a spider. So we go into uh episode three.

581
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:41,000
It's called Human Shock. It's not a harem one is it? No. It's a harem one at this point.

582
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:47,560
By the end of the series like 107 women. It's not like not that far now. It's not it's not classified

583
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:51,880
as a harem anime due to the fact that there's a bunch of different races that end up living

584
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:57,560
in this world and they're not all female so they can't really you can't class all right.

585
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:04,040
He's got the two basically. Those are the two main characters with him. Episode three Human Shock.

586
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:09,720
The dwarf is revealed to be Baron an elder dwarf capable of crafting artifacts. Baron also moves

587
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:17,240
his artifacts aren't they there by nature artifacts to be old? I'm sorry I'm reading too

588
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:23,080
much English grammar. Remember this is from Japan. I know I'm just saying an artifact is an item

589
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:27,960
that's old. You can't just make them. It's an artifact. You know god dang artifact.

590
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:33,800
It's a fucking watch you made an hour ago. Baron also moves his village into Shin's dimension.

591
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:40,280
The dragon's dimension now. Shin and the spider request personal names so Makoto renamed Shin

592
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:48,440
Tomoe after Tomoe Gozen which is a character of a belief samurai type thing. Tomoe oh that's a

593
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:54,360
that's the female samurai. Tomoe Gozen. He's a real person. Yeah he was a real person and names

594
00:58:54,360 --> 00:59:00,520
the spider Mio. Makoto discovers while he is unconscious that Tomoe and Mio go recruiting

595
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:07,400
in his village is now populated by orcs dwarves mist lizards and similar spiders. Oh shit. So

596
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:13,240
Makoto returns to the normal world and finds a human village but they attack him. Tomoe explains

597
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:18,680
that Makoto's magical aura is so strong that humans probably mistook him for a demon lord. Ouch.

598
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:30,920
So not only is he considered ugly in this world. He's now considered a demon. His looks and his power.

599
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:37,480
Shit. So Makoto spends months learning the human language. Oh yes demon will be as ugly as you.

600
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:42,440
He can't be a human. But since he can't speak the language either he speaks. Oh yeah that bitch

601
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:48,280
do that. Get your shit away. So Makoto spends months learning the human language and has the

602
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:53,240
dwarves craft items to suppress his aura because they have the ability to make magical items

603
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:58,600
basically like all dwarves. I mean not you but. I would just find just make him one where like he

604
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:04,120
just like breathes into a like a little like uh gourd. He's like oh and then like he puts it away

605
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:09,160
right and all his powers are in that little gourd then he takes like a little vape and he fucking

606
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:14,520
powers up again. Simple. Like if you put all your powers in this gourd and then you have like a

607
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:20,040
little situation where he loses the gourd. So he's powerless. You gotta find him for that episode.

608
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:25,160
Now if I could get to the war bag. No these are rings that they make him where they absorb his

609
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:30,040
power throughout the day. God dang che che. Yeah yeah and then they eventually have like chains

610
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:34,120
going to each one of them because they keep breaking because they have so much power. This is right in

611
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:41,480
line to be complicating. Yeah so entering the human village posing as merchants they register

612
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:47,400
at the adventurers guild. Tomoe and Mio break records by being four times as powerful as the

613
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:55,720
next strongest adventurer. What Makoto due to his suppressed aura ranks level one weaker than a child.

614
01:00:56,360 --> 01:01:03,240
Holy shit weaker than a child. Because they say oh maybe his aura is too strong we need to get

615
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:06,680
this other scroll and then he gets the other scroll and it bends too because he's just stupid.

616
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:12,520
There's no power. Shit. Because he's being suppressed by these artifacts that he's got now.

617
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:20,200
So Tomoe learns a dragon she knew Lancer has been killed by an adventurer named Sophia Bulga.

618
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:26,760
Makoto notices the price of commodities is unusually high and that people have begun following him.

619
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:34,280
Tomoe prepares to foil a night attack on their wagon while buying food Makoto and Mio

620
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:39,240
are approached by a young girl. That's how the episode ends. Episode four is called too late.

621
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:47,720
So the girl Rinon reveals her sister Toa disappeared. Tomoe confronts the thieves but

622
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:53,720
kills but kills three by accident and captures a fourth. Well not bad because she's too strong.

623
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:57,800
They're like oh I didn't know that they would die that easy. You're gonna slash one in the face and

624
01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:05,720
fucking brace her neck. They kind of yeah. Rinon sketches Toa and Makoto deliver uh determines

625
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:11,640
from the thieves memories their group is holding a captive and sends Mio and Tomoe to retrieve her.

626
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:18,600
Makoto is concerned Toa resembles a girl named uh Hasegawa that he knew in Japan. That they kind

627
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:26,040
of look similar even though they're not the same person they look similar. Um Mio and Tomoe uh

628
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:31,960
locate Toa and her captor. Mio's ace the current strongest adventurer in this town.

629
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:39,960
Like or maybe in this entire area. Uh Rinon sneaks away and tells the thieves Makoto's wagon is full

630
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:46,520
of expensive fruit but he has already sold it. The thieves insist she steals Makoto's gold to pay

631
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:52,920
Toa's debts. Mills uh the thief's secret leader reveals a demon lord recently approached the city

632
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:58,440
and had a bounty placed on his head so he wants Mio and Toa and Tomoe to help hunt it. Not realizing

633
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:05,320
the demon lord was Makoto. Yeah I figured it would be. It's like there was a new demon lord go hunt him down.

634
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:17,080
Um careful with your eyes this is so ugly your eyes may burn. Like the bounty.

635
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:31,240
Rinon decides she cannot steal from Makoto after he has been so nice to her. So Mio uh Mio and Tomoe

636
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:36,920
defeat Mills and his thieves and destroy part of the city competing to see competing to see who has

637
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:42,200
defeated the most enemies. So they literally destroy the entire half of the city just by throwing

638
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,400
shit off and stuff like energy attacks and stuff. Yeah just destroyed the whole fucking city.

639
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:55,000
Rinon reunites with Toa uh Toa who is identical to Hazagawa apart from the hair killer. Makoto

640
01:03:55,000 --> 01:04:03,080
praises Mio and Tomoe for rescuing Toa but then violently blasts them back into the wasteland

641
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:09,880
to repent for their foolishly destroying the entire human city. Because they're both kind of

642
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:14,920
like it's like that comedic moment of like uh team rocket flying off. Oh yeah definitely.

643
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:20,840
Because he just knocked them back into the entire wasteland because he's super strong. Team rocket.

644
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:28,840
I wonder if they saw Ash win the championship. I'm gonna be the main. They're fucking elderly

645
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:35,000
at this point. He's like he fucking did it. I told you Jesse. So you're right James. They're

646
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:41,560
like three kids now. All right uh episode five is called the greedy wagon's journey.

647
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:47,640
So Tomoe alters everyone's memories so the world believes a monster horde destroyed Zetsugaya.

648
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:57,720
That town. Zetsugaya's guild was destroyed by Makoto. As that was destroyed Makoto must

649
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:05,480
re-register in Sigi the next closest town. Makoto sprigs Tomoe into training alone in the wilderness

650
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:12,680
while he travels to Sigi with the other adventurers. Mio and Makoto kill many monsters that Toa

651
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:20,280
harvested as that harvest Toa harvests for valuable parts including rare ruby-eyed ants.

652
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:26,760
Like it's this weird ant type thing that's got these like emerald or not emerald ruby eyes that

653
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:34,040
are super valuable basically. Uh re-registering in Sigi Makoto celebrates with adventurers uh

654
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:40,360
Louisa the elven archer, Hazel the human alchemist, and Ranina the dwarf priest knight.

655
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:43,000
It's a little dwarf.

656
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:49,400
Uh Makoto decides to sell the ruby eyes to the Rembrandt trading company but is warned by Toa

657
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:55,800
that Rembrandt has a bad reputation. Returning to his village Emma reports on their progress.

658
01:05:56,280 --> 01:06:05,320
The alke which are these uh the spiders that uh what do you call it um Mio brought to this realm.

659
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:13,480
Yeah. They're like uh think centaur but with a spider so top half is human-esque and then

660
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,360
Oh bottom half is a spider? Yeah. Fucking gross.

661
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:25,480
So uh the alke are said to make a match the character in Dark Souls yeah that's one of them's like that.

662
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:27,480
Is it? He has some big old tinnies.

663
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:33,640
So the alke are settling in the mountains the dwarves have begun constructing buildings and

664
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:38,120
the mist lizards are clearing farmland while the orcs have begun constructing Makoto's castle.

665
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:46,280
Makoto worries Tomoe has been gone a long time. Makoto is giving a merchant outfit by the dwarves

666
01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:50,760
to further suppress his aura but his magic is too powerful and destroys the outfit.

667
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:58,280
And whenever it destroys the the the running joke with the stuff that this uh that the dwarves are

668
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:02,280
making him there's one specifically that's like this expert craftsman right.

669
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:07,880
And everything that he makes he wants it to drain so much magic from uh Makoto that it kills him.

670
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:14,600
He's like you put this on this will kill you and he puts it on and just destroys it.

671
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:20,920
It's like next time he keeps trying to find shit that'll kill.

672
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:25,720
Like that's this dwarves goal. To kill the guy that he's helping?

673
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:32,280
Yeah but he because he keeps uh destroying his uh like super prize that he makes.

674
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:36,120
He's like this is strong enough to kill you then it's not.

675
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:41,880
It's like it's this running gag through the whole thing of every time he puts it on

676
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:46,200
it's like or like a new ring or something it's like this is enough to drain all your magic.

677
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:48,440
And then when it blows up.

678
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:49,240
Yeah pretty much.

679
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:54,360
Um so Makoto discovers magical ingredients grown in the demiplane are more potent than normal or in

680
01:07:54,360 --> 01:08:02,440
the normal world. Makoto takes the ruby eyes to the Rembrandt and finds the manager difficult to

681
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:10,360
deal with. Is it a carrot? No like just his reputation uh Rembrandt's reputation basically.

682
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:16,440
So we go into episode six which is called the uh the melancholy of the handsome middle-aged men.

683
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:18,200
We call that midlife crisis.

684
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:24,360
Yes the manager Patrick Rembrandt is dismissive until he sees the ruby eyes and apologizes.

685
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:30,040
He happily reveals the eyes make ambrosia a cure for his wife and daughter's curse by a witch.

686
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:34,040
That's why he's been acting this way is his wife and his daughters are cursed.

687
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:40,120
So Makoto goes to register as a merchant passes the written exam easily as it is basic middle

688
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:47,080
school mathematics in this world. The second test is to gather four dangerous items but he takes

689
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:52,120
advantage of a rule saying he can substitute items of equal value and substitutes to ruby uh ruby

690
01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:58,600
ants instead. Makoto returns to the demiplane where he plans for to set up a hidden portal

691
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:03,240
to trick traveling merchants into thinking the demiplane is a hidden city. So they can come to

692
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:07,640
the demiplane but they think it's a hidden city through mist. Where it's like you go into this

693
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:14,440
valley and what do you want them there for to rob them? No to sell stuff. But he doesn't want

694
01:09:14,440 --> 01:09:20,040
them to know that it's an actual different plane existence. So he creates this portal to be able to

695
01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:27,000
do that. Um traded demiplane items and then returned home creating a demand for demiplane

696
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:34,040
products. Locating Tomoe with Mio, Makoto realizes Mio has some uh has become addicted to his

697
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:40,840
memories of anime and children's cartoons. Tomoe and Mio are confused when Makoto chooses to sleep

698
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:47,960
alone rather than pick one of them to have sex with. They just don't understand why he doesn't

699
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:54,200
want anything from them. He's like no I'm good. Maybe he's just homosexual who knows? Well no

700
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:58,360
it's that whole comedic thing again where he's like bright red whenever they try to

701
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:04,360
play something to him. The famous uh yeah trope. And they decide to come up with a seduction plan

702
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:12,280
between the two of them. Oh forewarning it doesn't work. I imagine not. Uh Hazel agrees to Makoto's

703
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:18,680
request for help uh to brew the ambrosia as uh adventurer watches Makoto and decides to gather

704
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:24,760
as many adventurers as he can to stop whatever Patrick is doing with Makoto. So episode seven

705
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:30,680
is called uh wondrous medicine production. So Patrick secretly has the witch doctor who

706
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:37,880
cursed his family uh dead. Hazel brews the ambrosia and Makoto can uh he restrains Patrick's wife

707
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:44,600
which is Rembrandt. He has him dead. Confused that he kills him? Yeah yeah Patrick discovers that the

708
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:50,280
witch that the witch doctor found him dead. His family is dead. Okay. I'm sorry if I read it weird

709
01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:55,320
but he he discovers that the witch the witch doctor who cursed his family is dead at this point. He's

710
01:10:55,320 --> 01:11:04,920
like fuck. Yeah. Fuck. So Hazel brews the ambrosia. Makoto uh can restrain Patrick's wife Lisa who has

711
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:09,320
become a monster and Patrick successfully administers the ambrosia to her. Using this

712
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:14,760
method they also cure Patrick's daughters the same way they did. It'd be funny if a joke was that

713
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:19,480
his wife never changed. He just always assumed she was that crazy. He was just like oh my god

714
01:11:19,480 --> 01:11:24,280
she was that crazy. You know what I'm saying? She's got bold hair bold head and stuff and hair falling out

715
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:29,240
red eyes. Yeah. He just never acknowledges she's cursed like she's always like that.

716
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:36,520
That's just her. She's that time of the month you know. Women am I right? She fucking throws a fireball out of me.

717
01:11:38,440 --> 01:11:44,840
Um Makoto then returns home uh returns to Tomoe and Mio but they're attacked by an adventurer

718
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:54,520
Lime Latte. Lime Latte? Lime Latte? Must be refreshing. You think it's funny because Mokoto's like Lime Latte?

719
01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:00,760
He put lime in their latte and gets a fucking fireball thrown at him.

720
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:09,400
And his numerous allies after defeating all 200 enemies Lime claims he only wanted a sleeping

721
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:15,000
curse to be put on Lisa and her daughters as revenge for Patrick preventing adventurers who

722
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:21,400
displeased him from finding further work. Uh many of whom later died on quests far too dangerous for

723
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:26,520
them to handle and has no idea why the witch doctor cursed them into monsters. Yeah fucking a black

724
01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:31,960
ball the hell out of them. Yeah. Lime apologizes to Patrick who decides to let him live and Lime

725
01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:38,760
retires from adventuring at this point. He opens up a little uh unironically or he ironically opens

726
01:12:38,760 --> 01:12:44,200
up a uh a fucking uh soup kitchen or something instead of a coffee shop. That's something that

727
01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:47,880
didn't make any sense. Welcome to Lime Latte we make the best soups in the city.

728
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:56,280
But shouldn't you make me coffee? Coffee why? No reason. So Tomoe who has seen in Lime's memories

729
01:12:56,280 --> 01:13:01,480
that he sends his wages to the orphanage where he grew up gives him a katana forged by the

730
01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:08,280
dwarves and hires him to spy for her. Meanwhile despite his gratitude to Mokoto Patrick considers

731
01:13:08,280 --> 01:13:13,560
what to do with Mokoto starting a competing company in his town. Returning to the demiplane

732
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:18,840
Emma informs Mokoto yet another problem has arisen. That's where we end on episode seven.

733
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:25,000
Episode eight is called Demiplane Ranking. Ranking. The warriors in Mokoto's village are

734
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:30,120
depressed after training and Mokoto learns it is his it is his fault as during training he

735
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:34,600
overwhelms them so completely that they lose their self-confidence when they try to spar with him.

736
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:40,440
He just destroys the shit out of them. So he also realizes the various species do not train with

737
01:13:40,440 --> 01:13:44,840
each other so he arranges weekly competitions inspiring them to strengthen themselves and each

738
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,880
other so that way they can learn different tactics and stuff like that. Yeah since they're

739
01:13:47,880 --> 01:13:52,360
different species and they've never really fought aside from maybe wars and stuff like that in this

740
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:58,600
world they're they're not used to like showing their secrets to each other so he gets them to

741
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:05,560
start doing that. Mokoto, Mio, and Tomoe re-register as adventurers and are immediately asked to train

742
01:14:05,560 --> 01:14:11,560
an adventurer to replace Lime Latte. Fucking Lime Latte, got they? Fucking Legend of Lime Latte.

743
01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:20,280
Mokoto chooses Toa and asks Tomoe to train her. Though Tomoe is troubled as she she knows Toa

744
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:27,320
resembles a girl from Japan and worries Mokoto misses his former life. Kapan? Mm-hmm. Tomoe puts

745
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:32,680
Toa and her team through a brutal training regime and then tests their new abilities by ordering

746
01:14:32,680 --> 01:14:41,720
them to defeat a nest of 108 monsters. 108? Or 108? Ape. What if it is Caesar and his legion from Planet of the Apes?

747
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:48,200
And this proves them to be the strongest adventuring team. Apes don't want war.

748
01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:57,080
Yes they do. They always want war. Mokoto decides to collect Ambrosia flowers. The flowers

749
01:14:57,080 --> 01:15:02,440
eaten by the Ruby Ants to make their eyes valuable. He also decides to rent shop space from Patrick,

750
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:11,000
the rent brand. Hi I'm Patrick. Who realizes Mokoto wants to rent, who wants to rent as

751
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:15,560
buying would bring him to the attention of the Siki Kingdom who would ask him to spy on Patrick.

752
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:21,480
Basically he's like oh so you just want to rent rather than buy because then it wouldn't look

753
01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:26,680
as bad like for the government. Like he does this whole thing in his own mind.

754
01:15:26,680 --> 01:15:30,760
Sounds weird. He's doing it. This is perfect. It makes perfect sense if I don't buy it,

755
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:35,720
I won't have to sign the paperwork and it won't be in my name so when they find out it's me

756
01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,680
they'll never find the greatest spy ever. He fucking climbs up a chimney and escapes.

757
01:15:39,720 --> 01:15:45,320
What the fuck is he doing? So Patrick agrees to arrange the shop space for Mokoto in a neutral

758
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:51,400
city not allied to any kingdom. And that's where we end that one. Episode 9 is called Eat or Be

759
01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:56,680
Eaten. So the village throws a party to celebrate that it's a lot of oranges.

760
01:15:57,640 --> 01:16:03,880
You either eat or you're eaten. The village throws a party to celebrate Mokoto opening his

761
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:10,280
trading company. Akane reveals they have located ambrosia flowers in the outside world but decided

762
01:16:10,280 --> 01:16:16,920
not to harvest any as they are protected by elves. Mio and Tomoe sense Mokoto dying repeatedly during

763
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:24,280
archery training. So apparently while he's training his archery skills they perceive him as he's dying

764
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:31,960
constantly which is real weird. Weird? Right. Real weird. So basically what it is is Tomoe deduces

765
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:37,800
that whenever Mokoto clears his mind to focus on the target he unintentionally merges with the

766
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:43,560
environment and dies for a split second. Even though he doesn't realize like he's his mind is

767
01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:49,960
becoming so clear that he kind of like dissipates and comes back whenever he fires arrows which is

768
01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:57,960
real weird which feels to Tomoe and Mio as if he has committed suicide. This has caused his mana to

769
01:16:57,960 --> 01:17:04,440
increase to God's level so every time he dies he's like reborn and his levels keep going up higher

770
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:10,920
and higher without him even noticing it. We call it mana. Miami. A bit of mana. He has a little bit of mana.

771
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:17,480
If he continues the goddess who banished him to the wasteland will see him as a rival and try to kill him.

772
01:17:18,440 --> 01:17:25,720
The one that called him ugly. He's just like oh. She comes and meet him for a piece of cords right?

773
01:17:25,720 --> 01:17:28,120
He's like if it isn't the ugly mother fucker.

774
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:36,040
So Mokoto returns to the human world and is approached by a prostitute who he is

775
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:42,840
driving. Three-fitting. So he's driven away by the furious Mio and Tomoe. He's like oh hell no.

776
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:48,280
Oh hell no. They declare they are tired of waiting so they don't beat the shit out of the hooker.

777
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:55,880
They declare they are tired of waiting for him to grow up and will have sex with him immediately.

778
01:17:56,920 --> 01:18:00,840
Mokoto panics and flees through a portal. I don't blame him. He's like oh hell no.

779
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:07,400
Oh stay off my fucking dick you whores. And he fucking dips. Like clappers but chimneys escapes.

780
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:16,120
The dwarves forge more powerful mana suppressing equipment for Mokoto. Mio apologizes for her and

781
01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:21,880
Tomoe's behavior so Mokoto invites her to help negotiate with the elves that have these ambrosia

782
01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:28,120
flowers. Other adventurers also appear to steal the flower one of whom is the prostitute.

783
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:34,120
Oh shit. Is that one person you can never fucking get away from? The last person you want to see

784
01:18:34,120 --> 01:18:39,000
is the person that constantly runs into you like fuck. You found the loose friend. Yeah like fuck.

785
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:44,360
And calls the elves to attack immediately.

786
01:18:48,520 --> 01:18:51,160
You just fucking walked in and you're like get this motherfucker.

787
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:59,160
Episode 10 is called Hidden Ogre Village. So Mokoto teleports the adventurers to the demiplane

788
01:18:59,160 --> 01:19:06,840
and then makes peace with the elves Aqua and Eris. Mokoto meets Nilga Story and other elders.

789
01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:12,200
Nilga Story's son, I don't know, is angry the barrier protecting the forest is weakening.

790
01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:19,240
Mokoto meets Aqua and Eris's master Mondo, a powerful warrior. Mio the spider, the lady,

791
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:24,200
uh suspects Mondo is possessed and overhears a telepathic conversation between

792
01:19:24,200 --> 01:19:29,800
Ondo and an unknown person about demons. Later a spirit frees itself from Mondo's body

793
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:36,760
and drains the life from Ondo, Adano, killing him for associating with demons. Mokoto identifies it

794
01:19:36,760 --> 01:19:43,240
as a lich and captures it. So Tomoe reveals that she was the dragon who created the barrier

795
01:19:43,240 --> 01:19:48,760
at Nilga Story's request many many years ago. It was me Barry. It was me all along. Because these

796
01:19:48,760 --> 01:19:55,640
uh these ogres are like we had a dragon create this barrier and it's like oh that was me. Oh okay.

797
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:04,920
The lich explains he accidentally became a lich while trying to become a grant,

798
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:09,800
a human that can freely travel between alternate worlds like a god. That's why he became a lich.

799
01:20:10,760 --> 01:20:18,680
Just research. He fucking failed or he tried? He failed miserably. Yeah Tomoe reveals uh

800
01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:24,680
he has it the wrong way around. Grants are not humans who could travel. They are normal humans

801
01:20:24,680 --> 01:20:29,400
who accidentally traveled and so learned that earned the title of grant. So it's never a power

802
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:34,600
that they had it's just accidents that happened. Probably the worst thing he wanted to hear.

803
01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:41,240
It was? All the years years of fucking dedication and with hard work wasted.

804
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:46,680
Again the comedic element came in. He goes to his room and just fucking throws all the shit

805
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:52,680
off his desk. Fucking waste. Realizing he has wasted his entire life.

806
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:04,520
On an impossible goal. The lich happily accepts Tomoe's suggestion of forming a contract with

807
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:10,680
Makarou and teaching him about magic. The adventurers decide to escape the demiplane that

808
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:16,600
Makarou had forced them to. Uh the forming a contract returns the lich from his a skeleton

809
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:23,960
to a young and attractive dude and says he's like fuck he's like son of a bitch

810
01:21:23,960 --> 01:21:29,080
because he's since he's ugly right well fuck he's like he can't be ugly too

811
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:36,680
A magical explosion occurs in the village causing Tomoe to collapse at this point. An unexpected

812
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:43,480
explosion right? So episode 11 is called goodbye. Goodbye. So Makarou and the lich can heal the

813
01:21:43,480 --> 01:21:48,920
injured. Um Makarou realizes the explosion forced open the portal to the outside world.

814
01:21:48,920 --> 01:21:54,280
Examining the memory fragments of the racist prostitute. Racist? Wait what does this part?

815
01:21:54,280 --> 01:21:59,640
Because she hates all the the demi humans. I thought she's a racist. I had no idea I didn't

816
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:03,400
even I've glossed over that part. A prostitute? A racist prostitute.

817
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:11,080
I'm getting funny. Is that a random issue? I ain't taking your money. I don't like orcs

818
01:22:11,080 --> 01:22:18,840
or elves or dwarves. So Makarou sees that she and her comrades attempted to steal magical items

819
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:22,360
and whenever the guards intervened one of the rings full of Makarou's magical

820
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:29,080
powers exploded killing Tomoe's child fragment and an orc. Ouch. Because she can create for Tomoe

821
01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:33,480
can create like these little fragments that have their own like consciousness almost but they're

822
01:22:33,480 --> 01:22:38,200
like mini kid versions that run around to go do whatever they want to do. Right. And one of

823
01:22:38,200 --> 01:22:44,040
those were guarding this warehouse storage basically. Makarou follows the follows and

824
01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:50,760
coldly kills the prostitute in revenge. Damn. Sounds like a character. Yeah he just killed her.

825
01:22:50,760 --> 01:22:55,880
After the funerals because again these people died. After the funerals Makarou learns from

826
01:22:55,880 --> 01:23:02,200
Lich now named Shiki that he can see the prostitutes memories because memory viewing is one of Tomoe's

827
01:23:02,200 --> 01:23:09,880
powers. A sign they trust each other implicitly. Though this makes Mio jealous. That makes the

828
01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:17,960
spider girl jealous about it. Makarou orders walls constructed so that any adventurers who

829
01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:23,000
visit the demi plane to trade are kept separate from the village itself. Makarou visits Patrick

830
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:29,000
who has arranged Makarou shop space in the neutral town of Rottgaard academy.

831
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:33,400
Makarou hopes to visit the academy to learn more about the world the goddess and the humans at

832
01:23:33,400 --> 01:23:38,920
this point. As he may be gone for a considerable time he takes only Shiki with him and gives Mio

833
01:23:38,920 --> 01:23:44,280
and Tomoe more memories as gifts so that way they can keep themselves preoccupied while he's gone

834
01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:50,440
because otherwise they may destroy every fucking thing. As they prepare to teleport the goddess

835
01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:55,880
suddenly locates Makarou and tampers with his teleportation sending him to a distant battlefield

836
01:23:55,880 --> 01:24:02,440
where two demon warriors attack him and sever two of his fingers. Ouch. They take their fucking

837
01:24:02,440 --> 01:24:06,440
helmets off and they're fucking drop dead gorgeous and he's like he looks like ass.

838
01:24:07,400 --> 01:24:12,280
Well he's like he's ready to teleport to it's a Rottgaard academy he's like he's got the

839
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:17,240
teleportation thing set up and he's getting ready to go and then all you hear is found you and he

840
01:24:17,240 --> 01:24:21,880
gets teleported to somewhere he wasn't even intending to go. Damn that sucks. So episode 12

841
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:29,880
is called guided by the moon which is where the like the moonlit part of the show comes from.

842
01:24:29,880 --> 01:24:33,640
Oh yeah I forgot the title of the show. The moonlit fantasy. Yeah.

843
01:24:34,680 --> 01:24:38,920
Again there's season two already out too which is still going on right now so it does continue

844
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:46,360
after this but episode 12 final episode of the season the two reveal they are Sophia Bulger and

845
01:24:46,360 --> 01:24:52,760
uh Mitsurugi the strongest adventurer in the world and the superior dragon she became famous

846
01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:57,560
for supposedly killing. They explain they have joined the demon army to destroy humanity.

847
01:24:58,120 --> 01:25:03,320
Makarou removes all his mana suppressing equipment overwhelming Mitsuguri and his magic

848
01:25:03,320 --> 01:25:08,120
and shattering Sophia's legendary sword because he's like my daddy gave me that sword.

849
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:13,560
So he takes the shit off he's like okay motherfuckers. By the way I'm about to pull a

850
01:25:13,560 --> 01:25:19,320
goku I take all his weights off. Pretty much yes and then all his true like true ugly looking demon

851
01:25:21,480 --> 01:25:26,600
like ultimate ugly. Right before he kills right he's like you butt ugly and fucking

852
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:35,800
devastates him. So uh Makarou manages to teleport away and leaving Mitsuguri and Sophia alive

853
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:42,760
who swears revenge but the way he did this is he uh he was falling from this like from a super high

854
01:25:42,760 --> 01:25:48,120
place or whatever I can't remember exactly how he got there but uh he was falling so he got these

855
01:25:48,120 --> 01:25:54,840
rings that he had he just chucked the motherfuckers down exploded so that way he didn't like die on

856
01:25:54,840 --> 01:26:00,120
the impact like because he has this um this ability to create like barriers almost around himself

857
01:26:00,840 --> 01:26:06,680
and he was able to protect himself from like the explosion but the explosion created a fucking crater

858
01:26:06,680 --> 01:26:13,720
like because it was so powerful just from the rings that he had uh which again these two people

859
01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:19,080
were left to survive obviously but and they're swearing revenge at this point. You still ugly.

860
01:26:20,360 --> 01:26:25,640
Patrick receives word of the army's destruction from a powerful mage but does not realize it is

861
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:32,440
Makarou. Shiki doesn't realize his lime with lime latte so you got a story to tell you.

862
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:38,920
Hey uh Tomoe uh Shiki believes the goddess used Makarou to destroy the army and maybe watch them.

863
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:47,640
Tomoe reveals that she created another fragment named Komoe uh using Makarou's mana uh from a

864
01:26:47,640 --> 01:26:54,120
Komoe or Komoever. What a girl's Komoe. Her hair is just combed up a little side because she's bald on

865
01:26:54,120 --> 01:27:03,720
top. She created him uh or created her him. He's been Komoe-re-thrown.

866
01:27:06,120 --> 01:27:12,600
She created Komoe uh using Makarou's mana that from a discarded ring and Mio is furious when Komoe

867
01:27:12,600 --> 01:27:19,160
calls Makarou papa. Papa? Makarou finally opens the shit. Am I gonna be as ugly as you?

868
01:27:19,160 --> 01:27:28,760
You little mother fucker. Makarou finally opens a shop which is an instant success and learns

869
01:27:28,760 --> 01:27:34,360
about uh learns after he teleported away that the demon and human armies did massive damage to each

870
01:27:34,360 --> 01:27:39,320
other and that two other goddess summoned heroes took part in that battle as well. The village

871
01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:44,600
throws a feast to celebrate Makarou's shop and he decides his uh if his future is looking bright.

872
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:50,200
Still the feast is interrupted by another fight between Mio and Tomoe causing Makarou to change

873
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:56,360
his mind that his media future is is quite annoying. Okay. So it ends on a kind of not

874
01:27:56,360 --> 01:28:02,040
necessarily wholesome note but. It should make an anime where a supremely powerful entity right?

875
01:28:02,040 --> 01:28:07,320
Who's terrorized the world for years finally like gets fed up with being evil so he opens up a little

876
01:28:07,320 --> 01:28:13,720
shop in the town and the town is constantly under siege from powerful entities. All he wants to do

877
01:28:13,720 --> 01:28:18,200
is have his little shop and there's like a running gag where some little kid always steals gum and he's

878
01:28:18,200 --> 01:28:23,160
like you little son of a bitch and like yeah like every time like like there's like conspiracy in

879
01:28:23,160 --> 01:28:27,880
the castle of like demon lords trying to take over the the king's throne and he's like all he

880
01:28:27,880 --> 01:28:31,800
wants to do is open his shop and and but every time so he gets pulled and does all this bullshit

881
01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:37,000
so all I want to do is fucking open my little shop and sell my little trinkets because I'm

882
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:43,400
retired and they just won't let me stay retired. It's like Michael Corleone. Anybody out there?

883
01:28:43,400 --> 01:28:48,920
Yeah I know there's an anime that's like that. Send me the title. I guarantee you there's one out there.

884
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:53,720
Like every day like like he opens up at eight in the morning and by fucking nine o'clock at night

885
01:28:53,720 --> 01:28:58,920
he's gotta fight some monsters. It's like damn it. Yeah and like I know there's an anime out there

886
01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:04,040
called Couldn't Make It as a adventurer so I decided to open up a shop. There you go there's one.

887
01:29:04,040 --> 01:29:07,480
There's there's I guarantee you there's one out there I just don't know the title.

888
01:29:08,840 --> 01:29:12,120
There's probably one that's like just common sense that I can't even think of.

889
01:29:12,120 --> 01:29:17,640
Oh yeah and that's uh Tsukamichi Moonlit Fantasy. Like it's like the end crisis him just like

890
01:29:17,640 --> 01:29:21,160
like over the table like looking at the fucking bill like but the fucking calculus

891
01:29:25,160 --> 01:29:29,640
kind of like One Punch Man but like uh him having to struggle in there keep his shop open for bills.

892
01:29:31,640 --> 01:29:33,640
Like like $8.95 for what?

893
01:29:35,640 --> 01:29:39,000
Oh he's constantly looking for the deals and stuff like that. Like probably making sure

894
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:43,800
we get the best deals for his shop. So that's how you buy this toilet paper at the other shop

895
01:29:43,800 --> 01:29:47,640
for four and you sell each pack for a dollar and then that was a four pack you're selling each

896
01:29:47,640 --> 01:29:53,720
fucking roll for a dollar fifty. What the hell you doing? So what you're you're lying. Yeah I

897
01:29:53,720 --> 01:29:59,320
know there's one out there just if you know it put it in the description or in the comments I mean.

898
01:30:00,120 --> 01:30:06,120
Let me know. But yeah what do you think so far? Not too bad. No it's good. I mean it's at least

899
01:30:06,120 --> 01:30:11,720
comedic that's the biggest thing. It's got uh harem-esque stuff in there but it's not like to

900
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:17,960
the extreme or anything. Yeah like I said he's got two girls that love him but everybody else

901
01:30:17,960 --> 01:30:24,520
like respects him more than anyone and he's like according to this world. That's fucking fabulous.

902
01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:36,200
Oh fuck. Why do you mean like the most average looking guy?

903
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:43,640
That's the funny part. You want an ugly motherfucker.

904
01:30:46,680 --> 01:30:49,480
He's just like fucking just like this campaign.

905
01:30:49,480 --> 01:30:54,600
Let's see.

906
01:31:00,920 --> 01:31:04,520
Yeah that's him. He is pretty fucking ugly.

907
01:31:06,840 --> 01:31:12,440
Just kind of like. It's about averages you can look for anime character. Like he's not super

908
01:31:12,440 --> 01:31:18,840
super like crazy looking or anything like five six. To the typical character. Yeah like five or

909
01:31:18,840 --> 01:31:24,120
six you know nothing like like on looks wise just normal. Like there's literally nothing like

910
01:31:24,120 --> 01:31:28,840
special about him but she looks at him like she's almost to the point like yeah.

911
01:31:30,520 --> 01:31:35,800
Like where the fuck did you come from? What are you burnt from the ugly trees?

912
01:31:38,440 --> 01:31:45,000
Basically yes. All right you ready for some reddit? Close up a night. All righty.

913
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:51,720
Oh well we're halfway through. Just wake me up. Give me some lime latte. Wake me up inside.

914
01:31:51,720 --> 01:31:57,720
Wake me up inside. Can't wake up. Save me. Save me.

915
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:07,000
All right first one is by elegant shoshon. Shoshon. This person puts. Last friday. It's an elegant man.

916
01:32:09,640 --> 01:32:14,280
Last friday I had the day off work and decided to surprise my girlfriend at her job by stopping

917
01:32:14,280 --> 01:32:17,480
in to take her out. That would just be random. Like last friday I tried to suck my own dick and

918
01:32:17,480 --> 01:32:25,640
broke my back. And that's all that's that's it. That's the whole thing. Just comes in high and

919
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:37,480
fucking leaves early. Okay. So I decided to take her out for lunch as a swift day as her shift was

920
01:32:37,480 --> 01:32:42,760
about done. What's the category for these? Today I fucked ups. So yeah he did something wrong. She

921
01:32:42,760 --> 01:32:49,080
works at a very large and popular wholesale store that has hot dogs. Hot dogs. So my guess is probably

922
01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:54,680
Costco. Okay. They have the hot the dollar 50 hot dogs like. Also have like the fucking endless

923
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:59,800
fucking piles of humanity. I know you see that. By just to get to a goddamn register.

924
01:33:02,040 --> 01:33:06,600
She told me beforehand that I could come see her at work anytime and there would be no trouble.

925
01:33:06,600 --> 01:33:10,040
I walked in the front door and walked past the car checker girl. So yeah this is Costco.

926
01:33:10,040 --> 01:33:17,080
She did a double take and asked me if I worked there. I said no I do not. I'm here to see employee.

927
01:33:17,080 --> 01:33:23,400
However I'm looking for blank in blank. To my girlfriend meaning I put my dick in her. Something

928
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:28,520
she did is dildo with me. She she she officially got on her radio and said management to front

929
01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:36,280
entrance non-emergency. Oh oh. The manager with the largest tablet I have ever seen strapped on

930
01:33:36,280 --> 01:33:44,440
her arm walked up. She's a guy that's 30 years TV. And explained again why I was there. She called

931
01:33:44,440 --> 01:33:48,680
her to see my girlfriend. She called for my girlfriend on the radio but she was not near her

932
01:33:48,680 --> 01:33:54,760
radio. I apparently kicked the hornets nest and could hear a chatter on the other employees radios.

933
01:33:54,760 --> 01:34:02,200
Oh. Who's that guy here to see? Who is that jumping out the sky? Are you are we being audited? He

934
01:34:02,200 --> 01:34:09,240
looks important. Guys look busy. These are all the things that he heard on the radio. It's like

935
01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:14,760
even if he was somebody there for an audit they hear it. All right. I caught glances from about

936
01:34:14,760 --> 01:34:20,840
every worker nearby and could feel them trying to figure me out. I was it was uh about this time

937
01:34:20,840 --> 01:34:25,000
my girlfriend got back on her radio and heard the commotion and stepped out of her office and made

938
01:34:25,000 --> 01:34:30,440
eye contact with me. Uh oh. She wrapped up her work and we went out for lunch finally. I asked

939
01:34:30,440 --> 01:34:35,240
her why there was such a ruckus. She said that I dress nicely and I'm very polite which are

940
01:34:35,240 --> 01:34:42,840
characteristics of a corporate rep who comes in to fire people. Oh not too bad. No that's uh that's

941
01:34:42,840 --> 01:34:49,400
when she also admitted to me that I sometimes have asshole resting face. Oh shit. I guess I need to

942
01:34:49,400 --> 01:34:57,240
smile more. Asshole resting face. So yeah resting bitch face is another word for it.

943
01:34:57,240 --> 01:35:04,920
Uh I have my face is like yeah yeah I had a kid. I have yeah yeah I had a kid resting face.

944
01:35:06,040 --> 01:35:08,840
I wouldn't need twice the sucker kid face.

945
01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:18,920
All right next one is by nude at noon.

946
01:35:18,920 --> 01:35:25,080
No that one's mine I think. All right so this person puts my former boss contacted me a few

947
01:35:25,080 --> 01:35:28,600
days ago with an unusual request. She wanted to know that I suck.

948
01:35:35,880 --> 01:35:40,600
I just thought how absurd that would that's 100% what these nasty motherfuckers would say.

949
01:35:40,600 --> 01:35:44,360
She wanted to know if I was interested in sleeping with her while her husband watched us.

950
01:35:44,360 --> 01:35:47,160
If I was interested in sleeping with her while her husband watched us.

951
01:35:58,280 --> 01:36:04,120
I said I was the wrong guy for the job. But she disagreed and said I was the perfect guy based on

952
01:36:04,120 --> 01:36:09,240
a random one night stand we had years ago before she remarried. Oh damn. She said her new husband

953
01:36:09,240 --> 01:36:15,400
wanted to watch her fuck another guy and she was into it. I agreed to discuss the possibility in

954
01:36:15,400 --> 01:36:23,800
person especially whenever she offered to pay for dinner. I forgot how attractive she was until I

955
01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:28,840
saw her face to face. She introduced me to her new husband who wanted me to understand that all he

956
01:36:28,840 --> 01:36:36,120
wanted was to be an observer in the bedroom. I had to study take notes about it. Write my next

957
01:36:36,120 --> 01:36:43,080
novel of it. He made it sound like the worst case scenario was that I have sex which I believed.

958
01:36:43,080 --> 01:36:48,440
So yeah I said yes. That's the worst case? That's what he made it sound like. Why just

959
01:36:48,440 --> 01:36:54,680
getting laid that's as bad as it gets. Fast forward to the fucking. Don't ever fast forward to the

960
01:36:54,680 --> 01:37:04,680
fucking. I need context. Don't just go in there dry. Just fast forward. Just fast forward to the

961
01:37:04,680 --> 01:37:09,080
fucking. I hope that's my new fucking phrase. How about you just fast forward to the fucking

962
01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:26,040
part where I get a fucking. When you're ready when the IRS calls you can we just fast forward

963
01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:31,000
to the part where you fuck me bend me over and f*** the hell out of it. Just somehow ended in that

964
01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:35,560
way every time. Doesn't it have like different fucking versions of you just getting fucking railed.

965
01:37:38,120 --> 01:37:43,160
A couple of days has now passed since I said yes. I was in the missionary position whenever I heard

966
01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:49,080
snoring and farting come from my so-called observer. You feel like he fell asleep? Apparently.

967
01:37:49,080 --> 01:37:53,880
That's not. The husband passed out at some point but obviously not quietly. God imagine being such

968
01:37:53,880 --> 01:38:00,440
a boring fuck that the guy walks in like. He fucking sucked. Which affected my concentration

969
01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:05,080
on the second. I told you. Because the snoring was distracting and the farting was disgusting.

970
01:38:06,360 --> 01:38:10,760
My ex-boss apologized on her husband's behalf before grabbing the box of tissues next to the

971
01:38:10,760 --> 01:38:16,040
bed and aggressively. Wiping his ass off. And aggressively hurling them at her unconscious

972
01:38:16,040 --> 01:38:23,080
husband. Oh that must have hurt. Aim was off. Tissue box missed the target prompting my ex-boss

973
01:38:23,080 --> 01:38:30,520
to hysterically scream her husband's name over and over into my ears while I was. Derek. Derek.

974
01:38:31,480 --> 01:38:38,440
Still lying. Pipe. Lame pipe and trying to pretend that absolutely nothing weird was happening.

975
01:38:38,440 --> 01:38:43,480
I've never got soft faster. The husband eventually woke up after my ex-box managed to scream his

976
01:38:43,480 --> 01:38:51,960
name at the top of her lungs. Cue all out war. My ex-box. My ex-box. Ex-boss called her husband

977
01:38:51,960 --> 01:38:58,440
reamed for falling asleep. The husband said he had a long day at work. Like I sleep better fucking

978
01:38:58,440 --> 01:39:05,560
from animals than fucking balls. My ex-boss scoffed and said she had no clue what a long

979
01:39:05,560 --> 01:39:12,520
day of work looked like. Oh no. Big eater. I would have fucked that bull argument while he's fucking

980
01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:18,360
balls deep. The type of argument that would be embarrassing in a public situation. Even worse

981
01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:24,520
though in this context here. This is about as bad as if you're sitting in between the husband and

982
01:39:24,520 --> 01:39:31,240
wife in a fucking airplane. Only worse. Only fucking worse right. Literally fucking worse.

983
01:39:31,240 --> 01:39:37,880
You're just sitting there in between the aisles just like. So my ex-boss scoffed and said he had

984
01:39:37,880 --> 01:39:44,200
no clue what a long day of work looked like because what he did in one day was nothing

985
01:39:44,200 --> 01:39:49,240
compared to what she had to do every day as an independent business woman. Uh oh.

986
01:39:50,120 --> 01:39:54,440
The husband said he had zero energy for another boss bitch speech.

987
01:39:57,560 --> 01:40:06,360
He went the boss bitch speech. They've had this argument before. My ex-box. My ex-boss.

988
01:40:06,360 --> 01:40:07,640
Oh he's got an ex-box right now.

989
01:40:07,640 --> 01:40:12,920
So I go play while they fucking argue.

990
01:40:14,520 --> 01:40:17,560
Looked at me and said her husband had zero energy on a permanent basis.

991
01:40:18,520 --> 01:40:22,440
I asked both of them. Can I leave please? If they want to be there to stop fucking.

992
01:40:25,800 --> 01:40:31,880
So I tried to stop huh. They gave me a privacy because I was awkwardly thrusting in silence.

993
01:40:31,880 --> 01:40:42,840
Man this man went through it. My ex-boss said I should ask her husband since the whole

994
01:40:42,840 --> 01:40:49,080
idea whole thing was his idea. The husband unexpectedly slapped my butt on his way towards

995
01:40:49,080 --> 01:41:01,000
the bedroom door and said I should come and call it a night. I didn't come. Um I doubt he did.

996
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:07,240
But I did call it a night whenever I realized that my desire to get away from my ex-boss

997
01:41:07,240 --> 01:41:11,880
and her husband outweighed my desire to get off. So they used to say I climbed up the chimney

998
01:41:11,880 --> 01:41:21,400
and escaped. One night stand should have been enough but I just had to come back for more which

999
01:41:21,400 --> 01:41:28,840
I now regret. You dumb son of a bitch. That is a bad today I fucked up. That was the day I fucked

1000
01:41:28,840 --> 01:41:34,760
up. You're getting close to fucking sight down. That whole fucking thread is done. He wins. Yes

1001
01:41:34,760 --> 01:41:41,880
he does. I mean that seems a bad one. Oh my god man. That's a good one though. It's a very good

1002
01:41:41,880 --> 01:41:47,080
one. Alrighty. I don't know how we're gonna move on from that one. You know the crazy part is

1003
01:41:47,080 --> 01:41:51,640
that's actually done with George Clooney. What's that happen to him?

1004
01:41:51,640 --> 01:42:06,200
Alrighty. The next one is by RedBlue9 too. We gotta stop the show. We got it. I know that was a good one. We can't top that one. I doubt it.

1005
01:42:06,200 --> 01:42:13,320
Um Spurs and Puts. I'm going to be really vague here because I have to gossip about the gossip

1006
01:42:13,320 --> 01:42:18,280
of my neighbor is cheating on her husband and I left in one too many details in that post. They

1007
01:42:18,280 --> 01:42:24,280
weren't cheating. That was actually a couple from the other story. It just went into another full context of the story.

1008
01:42:27,480 --> 01:42:37,720
He comes over while her husband's at work. It was a global Facebook group. If that wasn't bad enough in the comments I elaborated on her activity and her job.

1009
01:42:37,720 --> 01:42:47,480
I did not name her but clearly I said enough to single her out. Well somebody noticed my city and tagged the sister of the husband and I of course didn't post anonymously.

1010
01:42:47,480 --> 01:42:55,960
You motherfuckers. I could understand if it was a local tea group but globally. The family I remember was from the other side of the world.

1011
01:42:55,960 --> 01:43:04,520
I fucked up because it points to me. She will know it is me and I'm just waiting for her to come to my door and give me an air full.

1012
01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:11,640
Clearly leaving the country is my only option. Find a new name. A new name? A new fucking address? Yeah.

1013
01:43:11,640 --> 01:43:21,720
Next one is by StopSignSleddingMan. That's a weird name. Person puts. I was in Mexico and I was on the rooftop.

1014
01:43:21,720 --> 01:43:27,720
That was the first moment you fucked up going to Mexico. Believe me anybody who didn't hear the story about the Mexican military almost lit me up.

1015
01:43:30,280 --> 01:43:37,720
I was in Mexico and was on a rooftop club with some friends. We were drinking hard and eventually during the night I started to feel ittle.

1016
01:43:37,720 --> 01:43:52,920
So I left the club to score some tacos. Having eaten the tacos I felt better and was ready to return to the party.

1017
01:43:52,920 --> 01:43:57,640
But upon returning to the club I learned that they had closed the doors and they wouldn't let me back in.

1018
01:43:57,640 --> 01:44:05,320
Obviously I was thoroughly bummed since all of my friends were still inside and I didn't feel like going back to the hotel.

1019
01:44:05,320 --> 01:44:14,840
Now this is whenever I in all my glorious drunken wisdom looked up at the night club on the roof and thought to myself I can climb up there.

1020
01:44:14,840 --> 01:44:18,840
Boiler I could not. Boiler I wasn't a spider man.

1021
01:44:18,840 --> 01:44:23,000
So I went around to the back of the building. I quickly scouted my route and started climbing.

1022
01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:29,000
I made it a respectable 10 feet up before I lost my balance and fell hitting something that knocked the wind out of me on the way down.

1023
01:44:29,000 --> 01:44:32,600
Shit. He hit some old grandma just fucked killed it.

1024
01:44:32,600 --> 01:44:39,000
You know well I just like knocked the breath out of him and she's just fucking laying there dead.

1025
01:44:39,000 --> 01:44:45,000
I hate you it's me. You little fucking hippie shit.

1026
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:54,040
As I was laying there on the ground hurting and trying to catch my breath I was abruptly assaulted by someone I hadn't seen or heard.

1027
01:44:54,040 --> 01:44:56,040
By the old grandma you one of the fuck.

1028
01:44:56,040 --> 01:45:01,240
It was the bouncer from the club. Violent was lifting me up and yelling at me in Spanish.

1029
01:45:01,240 --> 01:45:03,240
I was flummoxed.

1030
01:45:03,240 --> 01:45:07,240
Good word Thorne. Thorne on here very often.

1031
01:45:07,240 --> 01:45:11,240
I didn't understand him and while attempting to break in attempting the break in.

1032
01:45:11,240 --> 01:45:13,240
What was it?

1033
01:45:13,240 --> 01:45:17,240
And while attempted break ins tend to be frowned upon.

1034
01:45:17,240 --> 01:45:19,240
No kidding even in Mexico.

1035
01:45:19,240 --> 01:45:21,240
I hadn't done anything to warrant this strong of a reaction.

1036
01:45:21,240 --> 01:45:29,240
That was until the bouncer led me back around to the main street in front of the building and witnessed the absolute chaos that I had been oblivious to until this point.

1037
01:45:29,240 --> 01:45:31,240
There was at least a thousand people in the street.

1038
01:45:31,240 --> 01:45:35,240
There were ambulances and fire trucks drunken people running around in panic.

1039
01:45:35,240 --> 01:45:37,240
What the fuck did he just run on the way down?

1040
01:45:37,240 --> 01:45:39,240
Did he knock the power out?

1041
01:45:39,240 --> 01:45:43,240
You see remember that thing I hit whenever I fell.

1042
01:45:43,240 --> 01:45:47,240
Apparently it was the main glass pipe to the building.

1043
01:45:47,240 --> 01:45:49,240
I was trying to scale whenever I hit it.

1044
01:45:49,240 --> 01:45:51,240
I broke it and caused a massive gas leak.

1045
01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:57,240
The entire block including two nightclubs a couple of bars and restaurants were all evacuated.

1046
01:45:57,240 --> 01:45:59,240
A Casolina!

1047
01:45:59,240 --> 01:46:03,240
So the police were called or probably already on their way to be honest.

1048
01:46:03,240 --> 01:46:09,240
And the last thing my friend saw of me that night was two policemen with machine guns leading me to the back of a pickup truck.

1049
01:46:09,240 --> 01:46:11,240
Ah policemen with machine guns that sounds familiar.

1050
01:46:11,240 --> 01:46:17,240
Right as they were about to drive me off I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out 30 pesos.

1051
01:46:17,240 --> 01:46:21,240
Handed it to my friend and said buy me out bro.

1052
01:46:21,240 --> 01:46:23,240
I'd like to offer 30 pesos.

1053
01:46:23,240 --> 01:46:25,240
Any bits on here a dollar seven US dollar.

1054
01:46:25,240 --> 01:46:27,240
Any bits on here a dollar seven US dollar.

1055
01:46:27,240 --> 01:46:31,240
Oh man you don't want to go to a Mexican prison.

1056
01:46:31,240 --> 01:46:33,240
Oh fuck.

1057
01:46:33,240 --> 01:46:37,240
We don't got your papers or your passport it's gone.

1058
01:46:37,240 --> 01:46:39,240
What do you mean it's gone?

1059
01:46:39,240 --> 01:46:41,240
It's just gone.

1060
01:46:41,240 --> 01:46:43,240
You have some frijoles.

1061
01:46:43,240 --> 01:46:45,240
Like even some tetanedron getting rid of cross.

1062
01:46:45,240 --> 01:46:47,240
Oh god fucking.

1063
01:46:47,240 --> 01:46:55,240
Mexican prisons aren't exactly the most up to standards of justice.

1064
01:46:55,240 --> 01:46:59,240
Alrighty next one is by Borg Cube Cubed.

1065
01:46:59,240 --> 01:47:01,240
Borg huh?

1066
01:47:01,240 --> 01:47:03,240
Going into Star Trek territory.

1067
01:47:03,240 --> 01:47:05,240
So this person puts,

1068
01:47:05,240 --> 01:47:11,240
Today an adult woman managed to get my arm stuck behind the couch so tightly that I needed help to get out.

1069
01:47:11,240 --> 01:47:13,240
What?

1070
01:47:13,240 --> 01:47:15,240
I wonder what she's saying.

1071
01:47:15,240 --> 01:47:17,240
Oh okay.

1072
01:47:17,240 --> 01:47:19,240
I thought some random woman just fucking trapped him somewhere.

1073
01:47:19,240 --> 01:47:21,240
No did I miss the I part?

1074
01:47:21,240 --> 01:47:25,240
It was today I an adult woman.

1075
01:47:25,240 --> 01:47:27,240
I just thought some random woman just captured some man.

1076
01:47:27,240 --> 01:47:29,240
We're about to have some fun.

1077
01:47:29,240 --> 01:47:31,240
He's like no.

1078
01:47:31,240 --> 01:47:39,240
I wanted to plug something into the outlet behind the couch so I pulled it away from the wall a little and reached my arm down.

1079
01:47:39,240 --> 01:47:43,240
It was snug but I could almost reach the cord so I pushed harder.

1080
01:47:43,240 --> 01:47:47,240
I managed to plug it in but whenever I tried to get my arm out I realized I was stuck.

1081
01:47:47,240 --> 01:47:49,240
My elbow joint was just a bit too big to squeeze out.

1082
01:47:49,240 --> 01:47:51,240
The back of the couch had pinned me.

1083
01:47:51,240 --> 01:47:53,240
Why didn't you just pull the couch out?

1084
01:47:53,240 --> 01:47:57,240
She was probably laying on top of it so it probably would have fucking stuck for real.

1085
01:47:57,240 --> 01:47:59,240
Yeah I pulled and pulled but I couldn't free my arm.

1086
01:47:59,240 --> 01:48:03,240
I couldn't shift the couch because I was kneeling on the seat to reach behind it.

1087
01:48:03,240 --> 01:48:05,240
Yeah.

1088
01:48:05,240 --> 01:48:07,240
There's no way I.

1089
01:48:07,240 --> 01:48:09,240
What about pushing your arm against the wall and pushing out?

1090
01:48:09,240 --> 01:48:11,240
That might have helped.

1091
01:48:11,240 --> 01:48:13,240
I guess so.

1092
01:48:13,240 --> 01:48:19,240
There's no way I could move it with all my weight on it and one arm incapacitated.

1093
01:48:19,240 --> 01:48:21,240
I couldn't get my feet onto the floor.

1094
01:48:21,240 --> 01:48:23,240
I couldn't slide right or left.

1095
01:48:23,240 --> 01:48:25,240
I couldn't twist and wiggle free.

1096
01:48:25,240 --> 01:48:27,240
I was completely stuck.

1097
01:48:27,240 --> 01:48:29,240
Okay Dr. Seuss.

1098
01:48:29,240 --> 01:48:31,240
Why is it a steering blade?

1099
01:48:31,240 --> 01:48:33,240
That's what it sounded like.

1100
01:48:33,240 --> 01:48:35,240
Read that again.

1101
01:48:35,240 --> 01:48:37,240
It doesn't have to sound like Dr. Seuss.

1102
01:48:37,240 --> 01:48:39,240
I couldn't slide right or left.

1103
01:48:39,240 --> 01:48:41,240
Fuck.

1104
01:48:41,240 --> 01:48:43,240
It does?

1105
01:48:43,240 --> 01:48:45,240
Oh man.

1106
01:48:45,240 --> 01:48:47,240
After struggling for a few minutes I psyched up my embarrassment and called my husband.

1107
01:48:47,240 --> 01:48:49,240
He easily moved the couch in one second.

1108
01:48:49,240 --> 01:48:51,240
My arm is.

1109
01:48:51,240 --> 01:48:53,240
Oh my god you baby fucking throws it off and picks up the couch and tosses it.

1110
01:48:53,240 --> 01:48:55,240
With her on it.

1111
01:48:55,240 --> 01:48:57,240
He's like I'm a man.

1112
01:48:57,240 --> 01:48:59,240
My arm is all bruised from struggling and I feel like a dumbass.

1113
01:48:59,240 --> 01:49:01,240
Oh he kicks the door down.

1114
01:49:01,240 --> 01:49:05,240
But you're just doing too much sir.

1115
01:49:05,240 --> 01:49:07,240
Next one is by Dim Slug.

1116
01:49:07,240 --> 01:49:09,240
Dim Slug.

1117
01:49:09,240 --> 01:49:15,240
So this actually happened during the beginning of the pandemic of 2020 while I was working in the pickup department.

1118
01:49:15,240 --> 01:49:17,240
Ah the great pandemic of 2020.

1119
01:49:17,240 --> 01:49:25,240
If there was a ghost town, was that traveling around the city as one of the ones that still had a job?

1120
01:49:25,240 --> 01:49:27,240
Yeah.

1121
01:49:27,240 --> 01:49:29,240
Oh it was quiet.

1122
01:49:29,240 --> 01:49:31,240
Oh believe me I know.

1123
01:49:31,240 --> 01:49:33,240
The highways were clear.

1124
01:49:33,240 --> 01:49:35,240
There was never anyone on the street that actually scared the fuck out of me.

1125
01:49:35,240 --> 01:49:37,240
I mean it was just how bad it was on like traffic right.

1126
01:49:37,240 --> 01:49:41,240
Whenever 2020 was going on I was able to get to work in about seven minutes.

1127
01:49:41,240 --> 01:49:43,240
It takes 30 now.

1128
01:49:43,240 --> 01:49:45,240
Man.

1129
01:49:45,240 --> 01:49:47,240
Big difference.

1130
01:49:47,240 --> 01:49:49,240
I would go into like Walmart after work right.

1131
01:49:49,240 --> 01:49:51,240
When they didn't close at 7 o'clock at night.

1132
01:49:51,240 --> 01:49:53,240
I was like come on now it used to be 24-7.

1133
01:49:53,240 --> 01:49:55,240
And now that's never coming back.

1134
01:49:55,240 --> 01:49:57,240
It's never coming back.

1135
01:49:57,240 --> 01:49:59,240
They realize they don't have to.

1136
01:49:59,240 --> 01:50:01,240
Exactly.

1137
01:50:01,240 --> 01:50:03,240
A lot of companies realize what they can do without and they fuck this all over.

1138
01:50:03,240 --> 01:50:07,240
But man trying to just get there in the right amount of time.

1139
01:50:07,240 --> 01:50:15,240
I mean everyone wearing masks or something like beyond would wear like a full hazmat suit.

1140
01:50:15,240 --> 01:50:17,240
I seen a guy come in one time with a full hazmat suit.

1141
01:50:17,240 --> 01:50:19,240
Yeah it got crazy.

1142
01:50:19,240 --> 01:50:21,240
But it was still fun.

1143
01:50:21,240 --> 01:50:23,240
There wasn't much to do though.

1144
01:50:23,240 --> 01:50:25,240
But when you're a bibliophile like me, that does not mean I fuck books.

1145
01:50:25,240 --> 01:50:27,240
It just means I read them a lot.

1146
01:50:27,240 --> 01:50:29,240
It was paradise.

1147
01:50:29,240 --> 01:50:35,240
Alright so but just discovered this sub and well this is pretty fitting.

1148
01:50:35,240 --> 01:50:37,240
Oh plus it got us a higher level of internet.

1149
01:50:37,240 --> 01:50:39,240
Like default.

1150
01:50:39,240 --> 01:50:41,240
Back then it would take like 100 gigabytes.

1151
01:50:41,240 --> 01:50:43,240
It would take like 30 hours.

1152
01:50:43,240 --> 01:50:51,240
And now because of like the heavy use of the internet during the pandemic.

1153
01:50:51,240 --> 01:50:55,240
They had to give us a higher bandwidth.

1154
01:50:55,240 --> 01:50:57,240
So now 100 gigabytes takes like 7 minutes.

1155
01:50:57,240 --> 01:50:59,240
Like my shit is fucking unbelievable.

1156
01:50:59,240 --> 01:51:03,240
And it was just that they it wasn't a raising price either.

1157
01:51:03,240 --> 01:51:05,240
They just had to up the default.

1158
01:51:05,240 --> 01:51:07,240
The capacity levels.

1159
01:51:07,240 --> 01:51:09,240
So now it's like a hole that's just empty.

1160
01:51:09,240 --> 01:51:11,240
I'm just like hell yeah.

1161
01:51:11,240 --> 01:51:15,240
So to set the scene I was a grocery picker.

1162
01:51:15,240 --> 01:51:17,240
Fulfilling customers orders for a large grocery chain.

1163
01:51:17,240 --> 01:51:19,240
Not Walmart thankfully.

1164
01:51:19,240 --> 01:51:21,240
I got in about 4 a.m. and started my first route.

1165
01:51:21,240 --> 01:51:23,240
Through the store apparently.

1166
01:51:23,240 --> 01:51:27,240
One of the orders wanted Klausen dill pickles.

1167
01:51:27,240 --> 01:51:31,240
Which were handled by the meat department since they need to be refrigerated.

1168
01:51:31,240 --> 01:51:33,240
And I don't know that's just where they are.

1169
01:51:33,240 --> 01:51:35,240
Side note.

1170
01:51:35,240 --> 01:51:39,240
I was also in my last year of university with only two classes left.

1171
01:51:39,240 --> 01:51:41,240
It's not like he's in England.

1172
01:51:41,240 --> 01:51:43,240
It could be like.

1173
01:51:43,240 --> 01:51:45,240
Last year in university.

1174
01:51:45,240 --> 01:51:47,240
Because they were just like in hospital instead of saying at the hospital.

1175
01:51:47,240 --> 01:51:49,240
So anytime they say in universities.

1176
01:51:49,240 --> 01:51:51,240
You know what I mean.

1177
01:51:51,240 --> 01:51:53,240
So anytime they say in universities.

1178
01:51:53,240 --> 01:51:55,240
Usually English.

1179
01:51:55,240 --> 01:51:57,240
Well it's last year of university.

1180
01:51:57,240 --> 01:51:59,240
Yeah that sounds pretty English to me.

1181
01:51:59,240 --> 01:52:01,240
Of university.

1182
01:52:01,240 --> 01:52:03,240
My last year in the university.

1183
01:52:03,240 --> 01:52:05,240
So more American.

1184
01:52:05,240 --> 01:52:07,240
Maybe I'm just overdoing it in my head.

1185
01:52:07,240 --> 01:52:09,240
Yeah.

1186
01:52:09,240 --> 01:52:11,240
Because they're saying not Walmart.

1187
01:52:11,240 --> 01:52:13,240
There's not Walmarts anywhere else.

1188
01:52:13,240 --> 01:52:15,240
Could be English then.

1189
01:52:15,240 --> 01:52:17,240
Hey Walmart.

1190
01:52:17,240 --> 01:52:19,240
Thankfully.

1191
01:52:19,240 --> 01:52:21,240
I'm not saying Walmart is a murder.

1192
01:52:21,240 --> 01:52:23,240
I think it's in America.

1193
01:52:23,240 --> 01:52:25,240
Because if they're saying don't think Walmart.

1194
01:52:25,240 --> 01:52:27,240
I guess you're right.

1195
01:52:27,240 --> 01:52:29,240
Regardless.

1196
01:52:29,240 --> 01:52:31,240
Let's see here.

1197
01:52:31,240 --> 01:52:33,240
Side note.

1198
01:52:33,240 --> 01:52:35,240
I was also in my last year of university.

1199
01:52:35,240 --> 01:52:37,240
Which only had two classes left.

1200
01:52:37,240 --> 01:52:39,240
And I was pulling 12 to 16 hour shifts at the store.

1201
01:52:39,240 --> 01:52:41,240
Because well.

1202
01:52:41,240 --> 01:52:43,240
COVID.

1203
01:52:43,240 --> 01:52:45,240
So I did not have.

1204
01:52:45,240 --> 01:52:47,240
I did not have sleep.

1205
01:52:47,240 --> 01:52:49,240
I did not have a sheet.

1206
01:52:49,240 --> 01:52:51,240
For just taking a shit.

1207
01:52:51,240 --> 01:52:53,240
Shaving.

1208
01:52:53,240 --> 01:52:55,240
Shaving shower. That's all a man needs.

1209
01:52:55,240 --> 01:52:57,240
And if you're like me and get four hours of sleep every night.

1210
01:52:57,240 --> 01:52:59,240
I need more than that.

1211
01:52:59,240 --> 01:53:01,240
If I didn't have more than.

1212
01:53:01,240 --> 01:53:03,240
If I didn't have my at least nine hours of sleep.

1213
01:53:03,240 --> 01:53:05,240
You would see a heretically different version of myself.

1214
01:53:05,240 --> 01:53:07,240
That would be bat shit crazy.

1215
01:53:07,240 --> 01:53:09,240
More than I am now.

1216
01:53:09,240 --> 01:53:11,240
Like a standalone.

1217
01:53:11,240 --> 01:53:13,240
I'd be like Ernest Hemingway.

1218
01:53:13,240 --> 01:53:15,240
Except not drunk.

1219
01:53:15,240 --> 01:53:17,240
Be fucking insane.

1220
01:53:17,240 --> 01:53:19,240
So the shelf was out.

1221
01:53:19,240 --> 01:53:21,240
But I knew the meat manager was in the back.

1222
01:53:21,240 --> 01:53:23,240
So I decided to ask him if they had any back there.

1223
01:53:23,240 --> 01:53:25,240
And this y'all.

1224
01:53:25,240 --> 01:53:27,240
Is where everything went wrong.

1225
01:53:27,240 --> 01:53:29,240
That's all you need is.

1226
01:53:29,240 --> 01:53:31,240
This is what happened y'all.

1227
01:53:31,240 --> 01:53:33,240
In the south.

1228
01:53:33,240 --> 01:53:35,240
Them guns came out and we just started blasting.

1229
01:53:35,240 --> 01:53:37,240
I walked back there.

1230
01:53:37,240 --> 01:53:39,240
And it's pretty loud.

1231
01:53:39,240 --> 01:53:41,240
So I know I'm going to have to talk loud.

1232
01:53:41,240 --> 01:53:43,240
Whenever I looked the meat manager dead in the eye.

1233
01:53:43,240 --> 01:53:45,240
I was like.

1234
01:53:45,240 --> 01:53:47,240
Do y'all have any dickles back there?

1235
01:53:47,240 --> 01:53:49,240
He dickles?

1236
01:53:49,240 --> 01:53:51,240
He proceeded to suck me in the face.

1237
01:53:51,240 --> 01:53:53,240
Meat manager looks me right.

1238
01:53:53,240 --> 01:53:55,240
It looks right at me with the most confused look.

1239
01:53:55,240 --> 01:53:57,240
He goes.

1240
01:53:57,240 --> 01:53:59,240
Do we have any what?

1241
01:53:59,240 --> 01:54:01,240
What the hell are dickles?

1242
01:54:01,240 --> 01:54:03,240
Me. You know what.

1243
01:54:03,240 --> 01:54:05,240
You know what. I'm just going to leave.

1244
01:54:05,240 --> 01:54:07,240
Ten minutes later.

1245
01:54:07,240 --> 01:54:09,240
The store is not open yet.

1246
01:54:09,240 --> 01:54:11,240
So employees only inside.

1247
01:54:11,240 --> 01:54:13,240
And I was trying to say dill pickles.

1248
01:54:13,240 --> 01:54:15,240
He really like pulled that out of his ass.

1249
01:54:15,240 --> 01:54:17,240
Like what did he want?

1250
01:54:17,240 --> 01:54:19,240
He just sat back there with a fucking white board.

1251
01:54:19,240 --> 01:54:21,240
He's like.

1252
01:54:21,240 --> 01:54:23,240
Dickles.

1253
01:54:23,240 --> 01:54:25,240
Because most people would just be like.

1254
01:54:25,240 --> 01:54:27,240
They would brush it off right.

1255
01:54:27,240 --> 01:54:29,240
But he's like.

1256
01:54:29,240 --> 01:54:31,240
What the fuck are dickles?

1257
01:54:31,240 --> 01:54:33,240
And he just sat there and wrote it out.

1258
01:54:33,240 --> 01:54:35,240
Dilled pickles.

1259
01:54:35,240 --> 01:54:37,240
Got it.

1260
01:54:37,240 --> 01:54:39,240
Had a euphoric orgasm.

1261
01:54:39,240 --> 01:54:41,240
Like he had a fucking epiphany.

1262
01:54:41,240 --> 01:54:43,240
Dilled pickles.

1263
01:54:43,240 --> 01:54:45,240
So he pages over the intercom.

1264
01:54:45,240 --> 01:54:47,240
OP please return to the meat department.

1265
01:54:47,240 --> 01:54:49,240
I have located your dickles.

1266
01:54:49,240 --> 01:54:51,240
I have them dickles here.

1267
01:54:51,240 --> 01:54:53,240
Yo I still never.

1268
01:54:53,240 --> 01:54:55,240
I still never lived this down.

1269
01:54:55,240 --> 01:54:57,240
And I live 24 hour drive away from the store.

1270
01:54:57,240 --> 01:54:59,240
Damn a 24 hour drive?

1271
01:54:59,240 --> 01:55:01,240
What the fuck bro.

1272
01:55:01,240 --> 01:55:03,240
Where the fuck do you live in California after this?

1273
01:55:03,240 --> 01:55:05,240
Jesus Christ.

1274
01:55:05,240 --> 01:55:07,240
24 hours to get to your job?

1275
01:55:07,240 --> 01:55:09,240
I live 24 hour drive.

1276
01:55:09,240 --> 01:55:11,240
I've never lived this down.

1277
01:55:11,240 --> 01:55:13,240
So maybe they moved.

1278
01:55:13,240 --> 01:55:15,240
Weird.

1279
01:55:15,240 --> 01:55:17,240
So the only advice I can give in life.

1280
01:55:17,240 --> 01:55:19,240
Is never try to combine words.

1281
01:55:19,240 --> 01:55:21,240
Dilled pickles.

1282
01:55:21,240 --> 01:55:23,240
Because you just get dickles.

1283
01:55:23,240 --> 01:55:25,240
And now it's almost the 4 year anniversary of this crap.

1284
01:55:25,240 --> 01:55:27,240
And everyone I worked with.

1285
01:55:27,240 --> 01:55:29,240
Still tells a story.

1286
01:55:29,240 --> 01:55:31,240
People still.

1287
01:55:31,240 --> 01:55:33,240
I'll never be able to forget it.

1288
01:55:33,240 --> 01:55:35,240
Remember that time whenever they wanted a dickle.

1289
01:55:35,240 --> 01:55:37,240
They'll never let you forget it.

1290
01:55:37,240 --> 01:55:39,240
It's all a different thing.

1291
01:55:39,240 --> 01:55:41,240
You'll forget it. No one else will.

1292
01:55:41,240 --> 01:55:43,240
Exactly.

1293
01:55:43,240 --> 01:55:45,240
Alright next one is by Kaz1967.

1294
01:55:45,240 --> 01:55:47,240
This is one of the last two that we got here.

1295
01:55:47,240 --> 01:55:49,240
Yes.

1296
01:55:49,240 --> 01:55:51,240
First puts.

1297
01:55:51,240 --> 01:55:53,240
Friday after work I quickly came home, got dressed.

1298
01:55:53,240 --> 01:55:55,240
And went to the bathroom.

1299
01:55:55,240 --> 01:55:57,240
I had a date with my boyfriend in another city.

1300
01:55:57,240 --> 01:55:59,240
And had to be ready at his place in under an hour.

1301
01:55:59,240 --> 01:56:01,240
This meant that once I finished my business.

1302
01:56:01,240 --> 01:56:03,240
I didn't have time to unclog my toilet.

1303
01:56:03,240 --> 01:56:05,240
Once I realized it was plugged.

1304
01:56:05,240 --> 01:56:07,240
Unfortunately for me.

1305
01:56:07,240 --> 01:56:09,240
This happens often.

1306
01:56:09,240 --> 01:56:11,240
The pipes growing you just bombing them toilets huh?

1307
01:56:11,240 --> 01:56:13,240
Let's be honest here.

1308
01:56:13,240 --> 01:56:15,240
You just fucking blowing that bitch out?

1309
01:56:15,240 --> 01:56:17,240
Let's not fucking skirt past that.

1310
01:56:17,240 --> 01:56:19,240
She is fucking devastating the toilet.

1311
01:56:19,240 --> 01:56:21,240
Every time her ass touches it.

1312
01:56:21,240 --> 01:56:23,240
But she tries to brush over this.

1313
01:56:23,240 --> 01:56:25,240
And she says.

1314
01:56:25,240 --> 01:56:27,240
The pipes here are old.

1315
01:56:27,240 --> 01:56:29,240
Sometimes a single piece of toilet paper.

1316
01:56:29,240 --> 01:56:31,240
Will plug the toilet paper in.

1317
01:56:31,240 --> 01:56:33,240
Sometimes a single piece of toilet paper.

1318
01:56:33,240 --> 01:56:35,240
Will plug the toilet paper in.

1319
01:56:35,240 --> 01:56:37,240
Sure let's go with that.

1320
01:56:37,240 --> 01:56:39,240
Just beasts.

1321
01:56:39,240 --> 01:56:41,240
Just fucking mammoths.

1322
01:56:41,240 --> 01:56:43,240
Coming at her asshole.

1323
01:56:43,240 --> 01:56:45,240
Usually I will let the toilet sit for an hour.

1324
01:56:45,240 --> 01:56:47,240
The type that absorb all the water in the toilet.

1325
01:56:47,240 --> 01:56:49,240
So it's just a fucking pile of shit.

1326
01:56:51,240 --> 01:56:53,240
It looks like fucking concrete.

1327
01:56:53,240 --> 01:56:55,240
When you try to flush the toilet.

1328
01:56:55,240 --> 01:56:57,240
Eee.

1329
01:56:59,240 --> 01:57:01,240
So usually I will let the toilet sit for an hour.

1330
01:57:01,240 --> 01:57:03,240
And then flush it again.

1331
01:57:03,240 --> 01:57:05,240
And that all is well again.

1332
01:57:05,240 --> 01:57:07,240
Well not this time.

1333
01:57:07,240 --> 01:57:09,240
I left for the weekend figured.

1334
01:57:09,240 --> 01:57:11,240
That by the time I come back all would be well.

1335
01:57:11,240 --> 01:57:13,240
I didn't think about it much until today.

1336
01:57:13,240 --> 01:57:15,240
Sunday.

1337
01:57:15,240 --> 01:57:17,240
I show up in my apartment late expecting to play some games with friends.

1338
01:57:17,240 --> 01:57:19,240
I at this point have completely forgotten about the toilet situation.

1339
01:57:19,240 --> 01:57:21,240
I at this point have completely forgotten about the toilet situation.

1340
01:57:21,240 --> 01:57:23,240
She gets back and like there's a fucking hazmat crew out there.

1341
01:57:23,240 --> 01:57:25,240
The boys have cornered off the area.

1342
01:57:25,240 --> 01:57:27,240
Get back man to the chemical fucking detail.

1343
01:57:27,240 --> 01:57:29,240
It's shit.

1344
01:57:29,240 --> 01:57:31,240
I never see so much shit in my life.

1345
01:57:31,240 --> 01:57:33,240
I never see so much shit in my life.

1346
01:57:33,240 --> 01:57:35,240
Until all hell broke loose.

1347
01:57:37,240 --> 01:57:39,240
At some point I realized I needed to use the bathroom.

1348
01:57:39,240 --> 01:57:41,240
Thankfully.

1349
01:57:41,240 --> 01:57:43,240
It wasn't anything dire and I figured I'd be in and out quickly.

1350
01:57:43,240 --> 01:57:45,240
I told my friends I'd be right back.

1351
01:57:45,240 --> 01:57:47,240
And left the chat.

1352
01:57:47,240 --> 01:57:49,240
After using the restroom I flushed the toilet to find that nothing went down.

1353
01:57:49,240 --> 01:57:51,240
Mind you the water is clear.

1354
01:57:51,240 --> 01:57:53,240
At this point I realized shit.

1355
01:57:53,240 --> 01:57:55,240
I never unclogged my toilet.

1356
01:57:55,240 --> 01:57:57,240
So I get my plunger and get to work.

1357
01:57:57,240 --> 01:57:59,240
Nothing happened so I leave the toilet to be.

1358
01:57:59,240 --> 01:58:01,240
I return fifteen minutes later and try again.

1359
01:58:01,240 --> 01:58:03,240
Water begins to recede and I figured I'd been enough.

1360
01:58:03,240 --> 01:58:05,240
Water begins to recede and I figured I'd been enough.

1361
01:58:05,240 --> 01:58:07,240
I flush the toilet and I swear on everything I've ever known.

1362
01:58:07,240 --> 01:58:09,240
I flush the toilet and I swear on everything I've ever known.

1363
01:58:09,240 --> 01:58:11,240
The most awful smelling putrid brown and black viscous liquid comes pouring up.

1364
01:58:11,240 --> 01:58:13,240
The most awful smelling putrid brown and black viscous liquid comes pouring up.

1365
01:58:13,240 --> 01:58:15,240
Through the pipes of my toilet.

1366
01:58:15,240 --> 01:58:17,240
The smell.

1367
01:58:17,240 --> 01:58:19,240
Oh God the smell.

1368
01:58:19,240 --> 01:58:21,240
It just says her name Elaine.

1369
01:58:21,240 --> 01:58:23,240
The smell.

1370
01:58:23,240 --> 01:58:25,240
The smell.

1371
01:58:25,240 --> 01:58:27,240
It was like an outhouse you walk into on the beach.

1372
01:58:27,240 --> 01:58:29,240
Except this outhouse.

1373
01:58:29,240 --> 01:58:31,240
Oh God you picked the perfect fucking outhouse.

1374
01:58:31,240 --> 01:58:33,240
An outhouse on the beach.

1375
01:58:33,240 --> 01:58:35,240
Wouldn't be fucking right.

1376
01:58:35,240 --> 01:58:37,240
Except this outhouse has been sitting in the sun for weeks.

1377
01:58:37,240 --> 01:58:39,240
Except this outhouse has been sitting in the sun for weeks.

1378
01:58:39,240 --> 01:58:41,240
Oh my God.

1379
01:58:41,240 --> 01:58:43,240
A skunk died in it.

1380
01:58:43,240 --> 01:58:45,240
A dog ate the skunk and then puked it up.

1381
01:58:45,240 --> 01:58:47,240
And then that all rotted over the course of a month.

1382
01:58:47,240 --> 01:58:49,240
And then that all rotted over the course of a month.

1383
01:58:49,240 --> 01:58:51,240
It was hell.

1384
01:58:51,240 --> 01:58:53,240
Pure and holy hell.

1385
01:58:53,240 --> 01:58:55,240
I cursed my foul mother would probably.

1386
01:58:55,240 --> 01:58:57,240
I cursed.

1387
01:58:57,240 --> 01:58:59,240
I cursed so foul my mother would probably slap me.

1388
01:58:59,240 --> 01:59:01,240
I began plunging like my life depended on it.

1389
01:59:01,240 --> 01:59:03,240
I began plunging like my life depended on it.

1390
01:59:03,240 --> 01:59:05,240
But to no avail.

1391
01:59:05,240 --> 01:59:07,240
Just fighting it back and trying to struggle up.

1392
01:59:07,240 --> 01:59:09,240
I spent at least an hour.

1393
01:59:09,240 --> 01:59:11,240
At least.

1394
01:59:11,240 --> 01:59:13,240
God just fucking going to war with this shit huh?

1395
01:59:13,240 --> 01:59:15,240
I finally gave in.

1396
01:59:15,240 --> 01:59:17,240
Took up the toilet and took it to the restroom.

1397
01:59:17,240 --> 01:59:19,240
I had to grab the toilet maintenance ticket

1398
01:59:19,240 --> 01:59:21,240
so that I could get it fixed.

1399
01:59:21,240 --> 01:59:23,240
Unfortunately, maintenance isn't open on Sundays.

1400
01:59:23,240 --> 01:59:25,240
So whenever I decided to use the restroom

1401
01:59:25,240 --> 01:59:27,240
all of a sudden I had to drive 10 minutes

1402
01:59:27,240 --> 01:59:29,240
to the nearest supermarket to use their bathroom.

1403
01:59:29,240 --> 01:59:31,240
Moral of the story.

1404
01:59:31,240 --> 01:59:33,240
If you uh.

1405
01:59:33,240 --> 01:59:35,240
If your toilet has plugged.

1406
01:59:35,240 --> 01:59:37,240
Unclog it.

1407
01:59:37,240 --> 01:59:39,240
Do not wait like I did.

1408
01:59:39,240 --> 01:59:41,240
Maintenance should be here tomorrow.

1409
01:59:41,240 --> 01:59:43,240
And I pray to God they get a raise

1410
01:59:43,240 --> 01:59:47,280
in to fix whatever I fucked up. He goes into the bathroom and he's like oh my

1411
01:59:47,280 --> 01:59:54,160
god I've only heard of these. They're real. They're just like all the blood

1412
01:59:54,160 --> 02:00:02,200
leaves his face. Like not again. He's fallen before in 93. That's why he lost his eye.

1413
02:00:02,200 --> 02:00:09,400
It's the worst of that patch. The worst pink eye he's ever gotten.

1414
02:00:09,400 --> 02:00:14,600
Just fucking ruined his life. Alrighty and last one for tonight is con man in

1415
02:00:14,600 --> 02:00:20,280
chief. Con man in chief. Person puts. This fuckup happened today and is still

1416
02:00:20,280 --> 02:00:24,400
haunting me. I needed some moderate dental work. I ended up taking about two

1417
02:00:24,400 --> 02:00:28,280
hours. My appointment was in the morning and I ate my normal breakfast of

1418
02:00:28,280 --> 02:00:32,120
overnight oats. It's just a habit and I didn't even consider the repercussions

1419
02:00:32,120 --> 02:00:36,760
of my actions. I love my oatmeal with dried fruits, nuts, and other goodies but

1420
02:00:36,760 --> 02:00:43,560
it has the unwelcome side effect. What could come wrong from some delicious oatmeal?

1421
02:00:43,560 --> 02:00:48,640
But it has the unwelcome side effect of making me so gassy girl. Oh yeah that

1422
02:00:48,640 --> 02:00:53,520
sucks. I showed up to the dentist at 9 a.m. with a rumble already. Fucking shit

1423
02:00:53,520 --> 02:00:57,720
myself right there with the dental table. I got to the chair about 930 and I knew

1424
02:00:57,720 --> 02:01:01,640
I was in trouble. She's like she just does that thing like in like a sitcom

1425
02:01:01,640 --> 02:01:07,600
which is like oh am I right and but then it's like what the fuck. After about an

1426
02:01:07,600 --> 02:01:12,120
hour of constant activity and people in the room I had already passed on three

1427
02:01:12,120 --> 02:01:16,920
or four requests from my body to open up the release valve. We finally got to

1428
02:01:16,920 --> 02:01:22,960
the point where some cement had set in so the room cleared out. I guess the

1429
02:01:22,960 --> 02:01:27,880
tooth cement. I'm like what the fuck is she talking about? Yeah it where it had to set so the

1430
02:01:27,880 --> 02:01:31,400
room cleared out for a while. I thought it would be a few minutes. This is my

1431
02:01:31,400 --> 02:01:35,520
opportunity. I did my best to keep it quiet but of course I couldn't control

1432
02:01:35,520 --> 02:01:41,240
the quality. Brum brum brum brum. It was pungent and no sooner than the deed was

1433
02:01:41,240 --> 02:01:48,400
done the cute dental assistant came back to take x-rays. He just walks into the

1434
02:01:48,400 --> 02:01:54,560
fucking invisible cloud. She leaned over to stick the x-ray thingy into my mouth

1435
02:01:54,560 --> 02:02:19,040
and let out a oh. The fucking horror of that oh. She's a two letter war. Oh that shit must have hit her

1436
02:02:19,040 --> 02:02:28,720
like off fucking Mike Tyson plush. She went up her nose and burned her fucking nose

1437
02:02:28,720 --> 02:02:40,400
hairs off. I tried to act like I didn't hear her but there was no dog in the room

1438
02:02:40,400 --> 02:02:45,760
to blame it on. It was an awkward silence for the rest of my time. You nasty bitch.

1439
02:02:45,760 --> 02:02:52,280
To my dental assistant Chris I am truly sorry my teeth feel great. To all the

1440
02:02:52,280 --> 02:02:56,640
readers what would be the proper etiquette in this case? Don't eat oatmeal

1441
02:02:56,640 --> 02:03:00,560
if you're gonna get the fucking fart all night or all day. Eat that shit at night.

1442
02:03:00,560 --> 02:03:06,640
You'll fart all night long. You know the last time I went to the dentist they took a cavity out

1443
02:03:06,640 --> 02:03:11,200
and they had to put a they had to stab me with a fucking needle. You

1444
02:03:11,200 --> 02:03:14,280
know I don't like needles and they put two of these motherfuckers in my fucking mouth.

1445
02:03:14,280 --> 02:03:22,160
To numb the area and they got to work right and like they dug deep.

1446
02:03:22,160 --> 02:03:31,320
It was so far into my fucking tooth that I could feel like I can smell the smoke.

1447
02:03:31,320 --> 02:03:39,240
They got through the whole cavity right?

1448
02:03:39,240 --> 02:03:44,760
They got to my actual tooth and I started actually feeling the drill.

1449
02:03:44,760 --> 02:03:48,560
I was like it wasn't any pain right? I was like if I had that

1450
02:03:48,560 --> 02:03:53,480
Novacaine or whatever they put in my mouth I'd have been like.

1451
02:03:53,480 --> 02:03:58,040
If I could feel it even with all that fucking numbing.

1452
02:03:58,040 --> 02:04:01,960
Oh my god that shit would have fucking killed me.

1453
02:04:01,960 --> 02:04:07,440
Did they do a root canal or what? No they just took out the cavity and put a you know the cap in.

1454
02:04:07,440 --> 02:04:13,480
So no root canal itself? All they need it for not being in the dentist ever.

1455
02:04:13,480 --> 02:04:18,600
When I first went all I had was two cavities. They were like these teeth are fucking they should be on a museum.

1456
02:04:18,600 --> 02:04:24,680
Yeah as long as you take care of yourself. Yeah brush my teeth daily.

1457
02:04:24,680 --> 02:04:28,680
Just don't kill the damn doctors when you're there. They don't fucking fart in their fucking face.

1458
02:04:28,680 --> 02:04:37,960
Imagine like you get hit with a fucking smell that you're just like God.

1459
02:04:37,960 --> 02:04:43,160
The funniest part is apparently this is so dense it stayed around them.

1460
02:04:43,160 --> 02:04:47,440
Yeah like when they walk in the room oh there's nothing.

1461
02:04:47,440 --> 02:04:51,720
Like there's a fucking cloud around her head.

1462
02:04:51,720 --> 02:04:57,040
The fact that it trebled up. Yeah because you usually lay on your back for the dentist.

1463
02:04:57,040 --> 02:05:01,000
So the fact that it went up for fucking instead of going up in the air it must have been so fucking heavy.

1464
02:05:01,000 --> 02:05:07,080
It just lingered by the fucking table or by the chair.

1465
02:05:07,080 --> 02:05:13,080
It's like that dome. It's like oh it's a dome of shit.

1466
02:05:13,080 --> 02:05:17,080
Oh man. But that's all I got on reddit this week. Anything else Ted before we head out tonight?

1467
02:05:17,080 --> 02:05:22,080
Still doesn't beat the first guy. No it doesn't. That man went fucking through it.

1468
02:05:22,080 --> 02:05:27,080
Yes in the middle of an argument that he didn't want to be a part of.

1469
02:05:27,080 --> 02:05:32,080
Imagine he was just still thrusting it. He was. The whole time. He was.

1470
02:05:32,080 --> 02:05:37,080
That's the weird part.

1471
02:05:37,080 --> 02:05:42,080
Then he gets smacked on the ass. Hey finish up.

1472
02:05:42,080 --> 02:05:45,080
Fucking smacks him on the ass and the guy walks out right and he's like

1473
02:05:45,080 --> 02:05:49,080
Look at his fingers. He's like oh.

1474
02:05:49,080 --> 02:05:54,080
I love that in worse things. The situation that's already bad.

1475
02:05:54,080 --> 02:05:59,080
That would like destroy my self confidence.

1476
02:05:59,080 --> 02:06:04,080
You fucking suck. You fucking suck.

1477
02:06:04,080 --> 02:06:09,080
We get some fucking shut eye. Yeah like how boring.

1478
02:06:09,080 --> 02:06:14,080
That would be the worst part for me instead of the arguing.

1479
02:06:14,080 --> 02:06:19,080
He ain't got no gay. No kidding. That sucks.

1480
02:06:19,080 --> 02:06:24,080
But anything else? I don't know man. The whole day has gone by.

1481
02:06:24,080 --> 02:06:29,080
It has. I've heard too much shit. I've seen too much shit.

1482
02:06:29,080 --> 02:06:34,080
We got the toe licking and we got the lame dick. We got lime lemonade. Lime latte.

1483
02:06:34,080 --> 02:06:39,080
Lime latte sorry. I don't know what the fuck is going on today. I am burnt out.

1484
02:06:39,080 --> 02:06:44,080
Get up early in the morning. Go to work. Help my aunt.

1485
02:06:44,080 --> 02:06:49,080
Go to 7-Eleven buy four newspapers in 1750.

1486
02:06:49,080 --> 02:06:54,080
Hope I can find some stories to collect. It will be a slow process but I'll get it.

1487
02:06:54,080 --> 02:07:09,080
I'll get some wild ones. Alright well with that we will see you guys on the next one.