Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment podcast covering your favorite and unknown movies,
games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.
We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
So we start with Cozy Knights as always.
The news as usual.
I'm a fan of the weird, but I can't find any weird stuff.
On the internet?
Wow.
News-wise, I mean.
No weird stuff in the news either?
Crazy, huh?
So here's all the stories I've found so far.
So news story number one.
Welcome back to Cozy Knights, by the way.
My fucking back.
Sorry guys, I've had quite a fucking...
I'll tell you in my life stories after Cozy Kitchen.
Anyway, news story one.
These scientists at the University of Shanghai, they just invented, created a new disc that
can hold 1.6 petabytes of data.
I'm talking about a CD.
Equivalent of 200 terabytes.
They said you could put more stuff on there than you could ever watch in a lifetime.
About a few million movies.
And I'm like, oh my God.
And my first literal thought was, that's a lot of porn I could put on there.
My entire collection in one place.
The question is, is how much does PornHub hold?
I don't know.
I'm not gonna put all the PornHub on there.
I don't want step family and urine stuff.
All they do is retitle it, it's fine.
To what?
They take away the brother sister aspect until they'll just put regular.
What's a regular?
They still say, hey, step brother, what you doing?
They'll voice over it.
Oh, God.
Hey, random stranger that lives with me in my house, what you doing?
That's a lot of 1.6 petabytes.
Man, I read like three articles on it and it has this weird layer that they do like at
the nanoparticle level or something they said.
I had no idea what they meant.
I'm just like, all right, how much porn can I put on it then?
Is all I kept thinking.
Just tell me how much your collection will fit in one disk.
Can you believe that?
You could just put your entire library in one disk and you'd probably be thinking like,
oh, what if it breaks?
Well, you make copies of it.
So you have a safe copy.
You could put the safe copy in Fort Knox.
Make sure to protect all my pornography, sir.
I want to become president of the United States just to have my porn collection collected
and archived in the library of Congress.
You have to.
I'm president.
You have to put it in there.
Where you have the library Congress number on there too.
Yeah, you got to put it.
You have to put it in there.
I'm president.
You have to.
The randomest porn.
Oh God.
You have to put it all in there.
I'm the president.
Become president just for that?
Just literally just for that.
Then I resign.
My job is done.
Enjoy my pornography future generations.
I think for the most part, too, if you write a book, it just shows up there.
As a president?
No.
As any anybody?
I'm pretty sure.
I find some shit books out there.
I know in the library of Congress.
So we got to do it as part of our creed or motto or whatever bullshit we made up.
Now it's stuck there forever.
It's just do it though.
Just so that way you can get it in there.
That's weird.
What the fuck is the library of Congress?
Just a collection of history in general, like in terms of books and movies and stuff that
they feel like is culturally significant.
See it says, by law, every author publisher is required to provide the library of Congress
with at least one copy of every book, record, CD, DVD, and software offering that is sold
on disk to the library of Congress.
Sold on disk?
So you give them the disk form of the thing they keep in the storage in case they need
to.
Well damn, so if the apocalypse ever happens.
And then it says the library then decides what gets shelved and what does not.
They have to.
They have to take my copy.
They have to take my porn though.
Yes, they have to have a copy of it.
They need to put it on the shelf.
You'll fight to get it out there.
That'd be a great way to place to go if the apocalypse ever hits, like zombie apocalypse.
Just go to the library of Congress.
They have everything I need.
All the knowledge I could possibly want to read into.
Alright so story number two.
I didn't know but Japan has a, they actually have a dollar store called the, what is it,
the Daiso?
Daiso.
Daiso, is that how you say it?
They have them in Dallas.
The founder died recently at 80 years old.
And I got this story from the AP Associated Press on February 20, 2024 written by Yuri
Kagiyama.
So Japan, this is insane by the way.
So there's 5,000 stores in 26 nations and regions.
580 billion yen last year in the last 50 years what they earned, which is equivalent to $4
billion dollars American.
They're just raking in money.
Yeah they got two of them in Dallas.
I've been to both.
Interesting.
That's where I got those notebooks that I brought back for you.
I thought those were rare items.
No.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars apiece.
$2.
The illusion shattered.
Here's the one thing I found interesting is the store carries around like 76,000 items
like give or take.
I guess depending on size too.
100 yen is equal to 67 cents.
So it's like not even a dollar store.
It's a 67 cents store.
Cool.
All right.
Story number three from February, also Associated Press, February 16, 2024.
This science experiment in this elementary school in Gallatin, Tennessee called Vanna
Stewart Elementary, a bunch of third graders.
They were having a science experiment from an outside presenter using dry ice and something
went wrong and 18 of those kids in their teaching go to the hospital.
For what?
I don't know.
The kids started reporting and started feeling nauseous and maybe it was like a mass hysteria.
They all went to the hospital.
Dry ice isn't getting any.
I don't know.
Like you imagine like that's how hysteria works.
Like one of them freaks out.
Then they also feel the symptoms and they feel the symptoms and all of a sudden everyone's
sick.
Kind of like that cop that he was getting shot at.
Everyone's just dancing, dancing till they die.
Like in France or a fucking piece of acorn hits your car and you lose your shit.
I'm fucking.
God dang, John Wick lost his damn mind.
It just unloads the entire trip.
Jesus, man.
I mean, the police officers better.
But yes, the hysteria, I could see that happening.
It's like kids.
Yeah.
So one of them.
I don't feel like maybe the ice hit him right.
And he's like, like, but they're all OK.
Yeah, no one was nothing.
Nothing happened.
Some of them.
They just freaked out.
It was a collective freak out.
That's why I find it funny, though, because dry ice is just carbon dioxide.
Maybe maybe maybe the room was small.
Like there was too much ice and they were.
They couldn't breathe anymore.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean, it's possible, but it's just CO2.
It's nothing.
And like a little block of it's not going to do much.
Like think about it.
They used to use CO2 and fog machines.
Yeah, let's throw a fog machine into a tiny room and see if they people die or not.
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's not do that.
So the next two stories come from a book I got called News of the Weird written by Chuck
Shepherd, John Jay Kahoot and Roland Sweet.
Now they are what I aspire to be.
These three guys, they actively are collectors of weird news so that they they would they
will collect it from all sorts of sources.
So like national newspapers, niche newspapers, magazines like they would just like but I
can't go out and just buy like 50 newspapers a day.
Yeah, I'd be broke.
They're like for $18 now a piece.
And Jesus Christ.
But they did what I want to do is just collect weird news stories because it's just they
fascinate me and they fascinate them.
So they could they collected like three or four books altogether of the best news stories
around.
So this is all from them, not from me.
But I mean, they found it in the news and they even said in the introduction that what
they so this is the all these stories are real and true because they showed up in true
and there was no what's the word they use where they return something redacted there
weren't redacted.
None of them were redacted.
So to their knowledge, they're true.
And so if there was any mistake, it wasn't what the original writer of the article.
Right.
So basically the same.
We do not take responsibility for this.
And me in a way don't take responsibility for what they wrote.
I just I just write I just read the news as it was written to me.
So this first this first story is wild.
Like it was the first story in the book.
So this woman in New York hires two hitmen to kill her husband.
She gives him 20 grand and they beat the hell out of him with a baseball bat.
He survives.
So then she's like, OK, that didn't work.
So she pays him one hundred and fifty thousand to shoot him.
They shoot him six times and he survives.
Then they offer for another three hundred thousand dollars to attempt another attempt
on his life one more time.
And by then the police had found out what's going on.
They arrested all three of them, the two have been and the wife.
So I started thinking about this and I'm like, why would I pay you more if you failed the
first two times?
You know what I mean?
Like I deserve a discount.
It's like it should be done for 10 grand now.
Yeah.
Or nothing.
Half off.
I gave you one hundred and seventy thousand dollars total and you never killed this man.
Like I know it's wrong.
You know, it's wrong to kill somebody or hire somebody.
But they are horrible.
Either they're the best hitman ever.
So like we won't kill them and then we should pay us more.
Yeah.
But they're that fucking terrible.
I mean, he did take six shots and survived.
So it has something to the husband, who's apparently Chuck Norris.
He just like shrugged that shit off.
John Wick.
And I'm like, oh my God, you got shot multiple times and he's still standing there.
But I just I found it offensive to me.
Like why would I pay you three hundred thousand?
They offered her three hundred thousand or they offered they offered to kill him again
for three hundred thousand dollars.
Yeah.
I'd be like three hundred thousand.
I could have killed him at that point.
She could have slowly killed him with poison, poisoning his coffee or something, which people
have done.
Yeah.
But I mean, like, man.
So in total, they would have wanted four hundred and seventy grand if they if they had actually
killed him.
So because they probably split the twenty ten apiece, then the one fifty seventy five
apiece.
So the next one would be one fifty apiece.
They're just going up in price and just absolute ass at killing people.
Useless motherfuckers.
And they got caught.
The husband fan had all three of them.
All three of them got arrested.
So they didn't make anything.
Know what?
She paid them to get caught.
Well, she got arrested, too.
So so she's like, damn, sir.
That didn't work out at all.
She was using his money anyway.
I'm I didn't read it.
There's not a lot into like there's no like dates or where the paper the story came from
or any like extra news about it.
Yeah.
So I'm thinking like maybe they got caught.
And then they if they got like less in time, they rolled on her, you know, and then they
like, oh, if she offers to offer us to kill her again, him again, you'll let you lighten
our sentence.
Right.
And they're like the cops like bet.
And so they you know what I mean?
Like they for her, it would be a pain for assassination and for them, it would be attempted
murder.
Yeah, because they didn't even kill him.
So they tried.
They tried their hardest, apparently.
This next story is fucking hilarious.
So the South Korean police officer, he got blackmailed blackmailed by a fellow officer
and another man for taking a bribe from a motorist.
So he's like, oh crap, they caught me.
They blackmail him for twenty eight thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars in total is
what he paid him.
But it didn't matter because his superiors found out anyway he got demoted.
Now you're probably wondering, man, he got blackmailed.
He gave all this money out.
That bribe must have been huge that he got the bribe that he took from the guy that initially
caused the blackmail was six dollars.
So he's like negative twenty eight thousand seven hundred and forty four dollars.
My question then is, did they get in trouble for blackmailing him and taking a bribe?
That's what I was thinking.
But I told you there's no extra story to it.
That's what I want to know.
That's what they get a whole chain.
They get off fucking scot free and he's fucking down twenty eight grand.
He probably I would have rolled on him, too.
Like it was Sam.
Arrest him, too.
They took a bribe from me to not say nothing.
Exactly.
But six dollars.
And you got demoted anyway.
You might as well have taken the demotion to begin with.
Yeah.
Now he's lost his wife left him because he lost twenty eight grand.
His daughter's like, you're not a real man.
He's like, oh, well, did you see that story that reminds me of one of the stories I've
seen recently within the last day or two where this one lady, she's a journalist, right?
There she says that she got a call from an IRS person, I believe, or something like that
or like her some kind of some financial institution saying that her identity was stolen.
Right.
So she's like, oh, shit.
They said, OK, we're going to transfer you to the CIA.
The CIA.
I didn't know the CIA.
That was fucking fraud.
Right.
For identity theft, saying that she had racked millions of dollars up and stuff and she believed
them.
What was it?
Fucking arms, weapons and nuclear devices.
That's the only way I would believe the CIA.
They said that there was international crimes and all this other shit.
Then it'd be Interpol, not the God dang it CIA.
To make a long story short, the end of it, they told her to bring fifty thousand dollars
in a shoe box, hand it to somebody in the back of a car.
And she did it.
Damn woman.
To make it go away.
Well, did it make her go away too?
Fucking disappeared.
And then her husband, she's like, her husband said, why didn't you tell me?
I was scared.
Just gave away 50 grand.
Yeah.
I mean, some people just freak out.
This is over days, though.
It happens.
One day even.
Crazy ass people.
Not crazy, just like not very fully aware of the scams, the level of scams people go
to.
So like, especially older people, they get like a call from like some.
I get older people.
This is not an older person.
This is a person in their thirties.
Still, you never know.
They're not used to like the real world.
The millennials.
Not even millennials, just people, you know, not everyone's like the sharpest knife in
the fucking drawer.
Not even better knife level.
Oh my God.
It just happens.
Hey, somebody tells me I need fifty thousand dollars in cash now.
It's like that's what you want.
One to twenty.
The hang up on her.
She said she said that when she went to the bank and she drew it out, the lady gave her
a weird look.
She's like, OK, she brought it back to her.
She's like, honey, don't get scammed.
Well, here you are getting scammed.
Poor woman.
So you always got to.
You got to protect the people that, you know, that are not.
You got to protect the gullible from the the the freaking hawks circling.
Wasn't it you that said that the reason they don't make beard proof dumpsters?
Yeah, so it makes sense.
It does.
I just feel bad for people that get scammed like that.
This lady, no.
Specifically for this lady, no.
Why?
What's so special about her?
She's a very devious journalist.
So personally.
I don't really care.
I didn't say you had to agree with me.
I found it funny.
It's funny, but it's also sad and annoying.
It's sad.
Yeah, it's like a damn scam artist.
You know how many calls we get at the store that I work at?
It's like, hello, this is the DM.
You don't sound like the DM.
You know what though?
I do whenever I get a phone call like that because I get multiple calls where it's like,
hey, this is Amazon.
We're looking to deliver your package, but we need your address and your name and your
phone number and all this.
Even though you called me.
It's like she's in a grab.
Oh, man, it's nothing worse than breaking the phone.
But it's like what you do is you pick up, you hear what they first say.
It's like in three, two, one, thank you for calling News 9.
Phone gets hung up real fast.
I once had a guy come knock on the door and he was acting super weird.
He was like, well, I'm here to show your dish in the direct.
Like he was saying he was going to switch providers, right?
Yeah.
And I'm like, dish, we don't have dish or direct.
We're not switching into anything.
Oh, and we got into this big conversation, right?
I'm like, oh, what do you got?
Like I got AT&T.
Like, oh, how convenient.
And he unrolls his shoulder sleeve and it says AT&T on one side.
And I'm like, that's random.
Why do you have it rolled up?
By the way, why did you say you were here to switch my dish to direct?
If you're for AT&T, get the fuck out of my fucking port.
This stuff, motherfucker.
I don't know what he was trying to do.
Yeah.
I think he was like a hacker trying to do one of those human things where he needs to
do something to get like free internet near his house.
He shouldn't get it from me.
He knew the minute I saw his fucking sleeve rolled down that we were both like, we both
know you're full of shit.
People are fucking stupid.
Absolutely.
He's got to be smarter than the people that try to scam you.
Ask more questions.
They hate it whenever you ask questions.
He sure fucking did.
All right.
Now we move on to the cozy kitchen.
We are done with the news.
We'll have more from Chuck and the other two guys.
Got to remember their names.
Sorry.
Roland.
Roland and the other guy.
I don't remember the middle guy's name.
His last name is hard to pronounce.
Kahoot.
It just sounds like it doesn't have just not going to be Kahoot, you know?
So I guess I guess I'm afraid to say Kahoot.
All right.
So with the cozy kitchen.
So I found out that Antarctica has a club called Club 90 where they get absolutely shit
faced.
That's that's that's what the Instagram article said anyway.
Like they've said it nicer.
But you can read between lines like they get absolutely shit faced out there because basically
every year scientists descend to this base in Antarctica to do a lot of research.
It's scientists, researchers, research staff and even artists go up there for some reason.
Right.
And they probably get buck wild there.
Let's be honest here.
Orgies all the time.
Ain't this negative 100?
And them.
Yeah.
And them in the middle of nowhere.
They get in there.
Fuck on.
Place just smells like raw fish.
Smells like fucking B.O. and the shame.
Have to look at your fucking research part of the next day after you fucking ate your
ass.
And so throughout the year, there's thousands of people there and it whittles down every
like throughout the month.
And then when it gets to the winter months, a lot of them leave because once the winter
months hit like those six months, it's like a fucking like inhospitable wasteland.
There's no going to and out of it very rarely or barely.
Because it's because fuel can freeze there.
And when I find out like fuel freeze at negative 40 or some shit, I was like, oh, fuck, must
be cold.
So they have a shit load of alcohol.
Like when they're the people that are there, like the few hundred that are there for six
months, just they have like just wall to wall.
Man, that must be a great place to be.
But I mean, at the same time, you kind of like like I'm trapped here for six months.
Although if a nuclear fallout happened, I'd probably be safe out there.
Yeah.
All the alcohol I could drink, probably.
Now I kind of want to go to Antarctica.
I wonder if they can let us go.
We can do our podcast from out there.
Here we are.
Negative 100 degree weather.
You open the door and just get sucked out from the winds.
You open the door and your fucking face just falls off.
My dick's never been smaller.
What would happen to a human with nothing on out in the hall?
My God, they would just fucking just freeze to death.
It's like a fucking stuff like a statue.
All right.
Next story is the the Ramos gin fizz.
You ever heard of that drink?
I did not or have not.
It's basically a play on the gin fizz.
It was invented by Henry C. Ramos.
He took the standard gin and he added egg whites, orange flower water, lime juice, cream
and powdered sugar.
And the thing about this drink is the lore goes that it takes 12 minutes of consecutive
shaking for the drink to be ready.
So you gotta shake this son of a bitch 12 minutes long until your arms fucking fall
off.
So Barton, like experts say it's more like five minutes, but even so shaking something
for five minutes.
You ever shake a dick for five minutes?
So only when you get gonorrhea.
Yeah, it's just fuck.
But so the bars, these drinks were so popular when they came out.
Bars had to hire what they called shaker boys that their whole job that whole night at the
bar was to shake the shit out of these drinks.
They must have been buff as hell after like a month working there.
Jacked off ever again.
Probably not, they'd be like, I'm too tired, trying to suck their own dick.
That's when they learned how to suck their own dick.
Oh, man, that shit would be hard.
I want to get a shake when and do it for 12 minutes.
See what happens.
Oh, God, don't get a shake.
What's fucking up?
You remember when South Park made fun of that one.
They fucking went hog wild on that one.
And then it had the thing that would drop down where you put your pinky in it.
You did the fucking butthole and it had the fucking spray that would like cool you down.
So it was just you know, you know, it was just.
I thought it gives you money and fucking give you money.
Here's some cav fair.
All right.
So that's my two store my food lore stories for today.
Now we give you guys a recipe.
I found this.
I found this at the last minute.
So I'm sorry if I've done it before.
It is the double cheese lasagna.
Garfield would love this shit.
So you're looking at a serving of six active time, 30 minutes total time, an hour and 15
minutes calories, 430 protein, 26 grams.
Get on that.
15 grams of fat, five grams saturated cholesterol, 60 milligrams carbs is 46 grams.
Sodium is 710 milligrams fiber zero.
So you'd be pumping this shit out your ass.
Trying your hardest to get this shit out like sunflower seeds.
I'm not sunflower.
Yeah.
Sunflower seeds with a shell on and the sugars of 13 grams.
So what you need is one 24 ounce jar tomato and basil pasta sauce.
One tablespoon olive oil, one 10 ounce zucchini, trimmed to cut into one third dice.
One pound ground beef, one fourth cup chopped fresh basil and additional plus additional
for garnish.
One fourth teaspoon of salt, one fourth teaspoon of pepper, nine oven ready lasagna noodles,
one cup shredded mozzarella and two tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese.
Damn, it's a lot of gas.
That's a lot of lactose right there.
So you heat oven to 350 Fahrenheit, spread half cup sauce into two quart baking dish
in nonstick skillet.
Heat oil over medium heat.
Add zucchini, cook stirring until softened, four to five minutes.
Remove add beef to skillet over medium high heat.
Cook stirring until no longer pink, eight to 10 minutes.
Drain.
Return to skillet, add one fourth cup basil, salt, pepper, zucchini and remaining sauce
cook two minutes.
Place three noodles in baking dish, breaking to fit as needed.
Top with half a half of beef mixture and three noodles.
Repeat layering once.
Top with mozzarella and Parmesan covering noodles completely.
Tear off large sheet foil.
Cut one side with cooking spray, place coated side down over baking dish.
Bake until heated through the noodles and the noodles are tender, about 25 minutes.
Boil two minutes.
Let's sit 15 minutes if desired garnish with additional basil.
There you go.
Dig in.
Put your whole fist in it and just take a bite.
I always found that aesthetically pleasing.
Like when you look into a lasagna and there's just like layer after layer, you're just like
oh, I can put my dick in.
Do an American pie.
Oh God, that man really fucked that pie by the way.
I did buy that movie, didn't I, at the half price the other day?
Yeah, I did.
American pie, the first movie.
I could watch it.
Watch it.
It's a hairy ass fucking pie.
I wanted some pie.
Why not?
All right, what do we got left?
We got a few minutes left.
Let me give you guys a little life story.
So you remember the bribe with the South Korean police officer?
Yeah.
I have a story that triggered in my memory from that and it was the time that my whole
family and then like a few other people were all going to Mexico for the summer, which
I cannot stand.
It's not that I can't stand Mexico, it's like I can't stand the place I had to stay
at.
I do not want to stay in this tiny village with one fucking convenience store for the
whole village.
So you got to go out of town.
You got to go two miles into the city to fucking even enjoy modern conveniences.
We always had to stay with my aunts.
They never had a working shower.
They had no door in the shower.
You got to take a bath butt naked in front of this big room with nothing but a bucket
of water.
God dang, I hate that fucking place.
I can't guarantee it's still like that to this fucking day.
No cartels?
No, we live in a nicer part.
They're not as prominent as people worry about.
You guys watch too many movies and news.
It's not like fucking Mad Max out there.
And so we're driving into the, like it takes two days to get there and like we're in the
first day and we get stopped by the military checkpoint and my dad is a great talker, which
I never learned to get apparently.
I lost that.
I guess my kids are going to be fucking phenomenal.
They'll skip me for sure.
And the military guy is talking to my dad and he says, like he asked for my dad's ID
and my dad's like, here you go, man.
If you want it, you can keep it.
I got three of them.
And they're talking back and forth and they're just going through the motions.
I realize now that I'm older, when I was a kid, I know.
And my mom is terrible in crisis situations because, so my dad's talking to the one soldier
and there's another soldier further down the road, but he's looking right at us.
And my mom keeps whispering like grab your backpack, grab your backpack.
Like some shit's about to go down.
Like make sure you grab your backpack, grab your backpack.
Cause then the front seat is me, my mom, and then me.
And then me, my mom and dad.
So my dad's driving, my mom's in the middle and I'm in the passenger side and my sister
is sleeping in the back.
And then the other, we have like a little, one of those little covers for the back of
the truck and people are sleeping back there too.
And for some reason, mom's freaking out.
I guess she's never seen a military, hell, I've never seen a military stop point.
And the fucking guy, he notices us, my mom whispering in my ear was super obvious.
So the guy watching us from the passenger side starts slowly walking towards me, fucking
unsling this goddamn M13.
And I'm like, you need to chill.
Now, I'm in my head now.
I'm like, you should have been calm.
Nothing was going to happen.
And so she's fucking freaking out for no reason.
And so my dad's like, so can we go or not?
And the fucking, the guy that my dad's talking to, he just starts, he fucking starts, I never
forget he started playing with his mustache.
He's like, man, it's been hot out here.
My throat's real dry.
He wanted a fucking bribe was all he wanted, a couple of dollars.
So we gave him like 10 pesos and we got to move on.
It's like, oh, my throat's real dry.
It's been so hot out here.
I'll never forget the way he played with his fucking mustache.
Was this on the US side or the Mexico side?
It was the Mexico side.
It was the military police on the Mexican side.
I was going to say 10 pesos here.
It won't get you even a fucking bottle of water.
So I'll never forget the guy playing with his mustache and his fucking thick ass aviator
glasses or that fucking cop or the other fucking soldier fucking unstuck his M13.
I'm like, oh, maybe we are in some fucking problems.
But it reminded me of his bribe that he took.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
This shit was fucking hilarious.
Now, now thinking about it now, my mom is terrible in a crisis situation.
She's like, we get you, like, she was like, we're going to fucking hop out the car and
run and get fucking lit the fuck up with an M13 was all that was going to happen.
Where the fuck was I going to go?
I'm going to fucking pour a shot at like fucking 10 feet, I get laid the fuck out.
You know what I mean?
It's an M13.
Just run for it.
I wouldn't know what no one would have fucking made it.
All he had to do was fucking spray in a straight line.
And it's game over.
Because the reason she's bad in a crisis situation is because what happened the other day at
my house when my fucking water heater tank blew up, I had I was brushing my teeth yesterday.
Getting ready for work.
And I noticed the water pressure is real low.
Yeah.
I'm like, what the fuck?
That's weird.
And then I do turn the hot water on too.
And it's even lower.
I'm like, that's real weird.
And so I turn off the faucets and I there's a fan for ventilation in our bathroom.
They like to have on for white noise.
I turned that off and I hear rushing in between the walls.
I'm like, oh, and I'm hoping that maybe my mom had got home and was watering her plants
outside what she likes to do.
And that's why the water was going that way.
But then I was like, but they wouldn't do the hot water too.
So I go to the kitchen.
I go to the laundry room.
That's where I'm hearing the noise the loudest.
I open the door and I'm like, oh, and the whole fucking floor is soaking wet.
I get down there.
I put on some shoes and I get down there.
And there's like a little fucking closet where the water tank is.
Yeah.
The hot water boiler.
And I open it up and I get fucking sprayed in the fucking face with water.
The shit was coming out the top.
The pipe had burst and I'm like, you got a facial for a water heater.
Like that shit hit me fucking point blank.
Like with a money shot.
I'm so glad it wasn't fucking boiling hot.
She had fucking burned my face off.
The luckiest.
I was asked how lucky it was because it wasn't hot.
Yeah, I was like, oh, so it took me half an hour to fucking find the city line to shut
it off because when they fixed it last time because their side was broken.
Yeah.
And we had an argument for three hours.
Like, no, it's on your side.
It's broken.
It's not over here.
It's fucking full of water.
Come fix it.
And they whatever they did, they fixed it.
Right.
But it's just full of mud.
And I dug for 30 minutes in the wrong spot for it.
I could not find the fucking valve to save my damn life.
This neighbor came in, right.
And he looked at his and he came back like, so it should be way over here.
And he looked where it was supposed to be.
They had put it all the way to the back.
So I had to put the the the lead bar I have to turn the valve that my dad made finally,
because we had a problem like that.
He's like, you know what, we're never going to.
He's like Tony Stark after something happens, then he fixes it.
But you know, like when he was falling from like the freezing the first time he made those
anti-freeze things and then he made the parachute after a road he died.
Yeah.
A road he fell.
He always makes it after the fact.
So he made this thick ass fucking bar to turn the water pipe, water line off if we need
to.
And but it was like in a fucking angle, like the worst fucking angle I've ever fucking seen.
And we turned it off and, you know, we got to fix the 150 bucks.
Damn, I love Mexicans.
They did it on the cheap cheap.
They know Saturday, too, no less.
Lucky us.
I'm glad it wasn't that I took an extra hours today because I was thought I had to pay for
a new fucking water tank.
I'm like, oh, no, like, like three grand.
I'm looking online.
I'm no.
But we lucked out.
Was it just the edge of the pipe or?
I don't know what the fuck happened because I didn't get a good look at it because I had
to call in work and tell him I was going to be late because shit has had his shit hit
the fan is what I told him.
Like it was just bursting from the very top.
Yeah.
There's like I guess a pipe going up and like there's no valve like they totally started
and they put a valve there up there.
So if it ever happens again, we just turn that valve instead of the whole fucking stuff.
So it had to have been the cold line that busted on you then?
Yeah, because yeah, the water was cold when it hit God, if it was boiling hot.
Oh, man.
I don't be like, oh, look like Zuko from fucking the last Airbender.
Like, I'll find the Avatar.
Been the water.
It's been the especially because it hit me in the mouth.
God, I actually would have burned my fucking third all the way down my esophagus.
I just got you to tell you it just goes to show you traps do work.
Yeah, because I was not expecting wire to fucking if it was acid, I'd be fucked.
You know what I mean?
Like I got caught.
You got caught liking.
Yeah, it's fucking sucks and it's scary.
But I fixed it.
Well, I didn't fix it.
I fucking turned the water off and then went to work.
Hey, at least you haven't taken off fuel lines and had a spray in your face.
God, that would suck.
I've done that.
That is dangerous.
Gas all over your face.
And then it's like you're trying to hold your eyes closed after it happens.
You can't wipe them.
Oh, man.
You start pouring water all over your face.
Yeah, I'd be wiping like a madman.
Just burn your eyeballs.
What fucking eyeball?
Oh, man.
All right, guys.
So that's it for Cozy Nights.
We'll be back next week with more fucking news, more cozy kitchen, maybe some life stories,
maybe some travels.
I call there's one segment I want to do called Travels and Curiosities where we wear arm
chair armchair nomads.
We travel the world from the comfort of our couch.
There's like interesting places or things that I've seen online, but I just have some
interesting life stories today for you guys.
So we'll be back next week.
So good night and stay cozy.
And don't forget, you know, Sunday, 2024.
Is that tomorrow?
Or is that 2025?
No, February 25th.
Is that tomorrow?
The new fucking Rick show comes on.
Rick Grimes.
He's back.
The walking dead.
I just call it the Rick Grimes show.
So tune in and watch the first episode of the new Rick Grimes show.
He's back.
He's my favorite.
So as I said, good night and stay cozy.
All right.
What you got for us in Urban Dictionary today?
All right.
Let's see what we got here.
Like I say every week, it worries me because I don't know what the hell it's going to be.
All right.
So we start with sticky money, money that has been ejaculated upon and then reentered
into circulation.
Usually as a result of a fetish, EI or IE after sex you want to course on a pile of
money.
Who can afford to have a sex on a pile of money?
Everyone's broke right now.
So basically they just got that kind of money like art like like what if you they wiped it
after right on the and then they just they just gave it to some like dollar store the
next day.
Like how much how much come if I touched is what I'm thinking now.
I don't know.
Think about that boob money.
You know where those big women pull it out from between their tits and stuff.
I just look the shit.
Ha ha.
Oh, let me some.
Or there's a lot of had whenever I worked in retail, there was a lady that pulled it
out from her shoe.
That's gross.
There was a dude that pulled it out from underneath the stomach.
That's a weird place to put your dollar bill.
You're fucking fat.
He was fat.
So it's like, damn weird.
All right.
Next one is called rim go.
A male who enjoys giving and receiving rim jobs more than what would be considered socially
acceptable.
What level?
That's what I that's what I found funny.
It's totally acceptable.
The same product.
What level is socially acceptable?
I don't know.
Once a week.
I don't fucking know.
Twice per day.
What's the level here?
I don't know.
That's what I found.
So fucking funny.
And how far do you have to go to be unsocially acceptable?
I don't know.
Maybe when it starts affecting your social life and like your fun.
Like you can't.
I can't get him to work.
I'm eating that.
Every couple of days.
He's got browns like all over you.
Fucking just eating it.
You miss your sister's wedding.
You're out eating.
You come in and your breath smells like literal ass.
Oh man.
So this next one was because of the one before after that, because I found the one after
that before this one, because I find them like backwards.
So this next one was because of the preceding one or the next one.
Sorry.
Pivot Man is a person who is the center of a circle jerk.
I didn't know there was a center to a circle jerk.
I didn't either.
The more we learn.
The more we don't want to learn.
I learned that because of this one.
Tibbits, a butt pirate that loves the taste of semen and has always chosen to be the pivot
man at any and all circle jerks at bukkake parties.
Oh, and I'm like, what's a pivot man?
Oh, you choose.
I guess.
Hey, man.
Hey, I'll never I'll never eat with your kinks.
I will.
He may not, but I fucking will every time.
Being the pivot man at a bukkake party.
I imagine you know, you know, that the weekend, the position.
And then that thing where he's are spinning in the camera.
I imagine that's what the guy's doing.
Just spinning around.
He's just getting glad you're low.
That's the face.
The next one is a Belong is is an excessively expansive rear end.
It's just a big old booty.
This is what's called pen praise.
So it's a female hooker who stands on the street corners with a red dress or animal
print when she makes a lot of money.
So that's almost every whore I've ever seen them.
I guess they don't make no money.
I don't know.
I don't ask them.
Basically what you're saying is a traditional whore.
So just a broco.
A basic bitch.
This one.
This one's called Magnum.
So it's a scrawny kid with a huge wing.
A man that usually plays pansy sports like ultimate frisbee and bowling.
Don't expect to see a man out and around town because they usually go to bed at 10 p.m.
This is because they are so tired from having to lug that huge manjina around all day.
Even though Magnums have large love sticks that usually strike out with the ladies coming
off as cocky and annoying, the cockiness usually develops from the noise that they are more
man than the average Joe.
But the personality does not go along with it.
I guess not.
I don't know.
Next one's called Burger Punk.
I found this kind of cool.
It's a dystopian punk genre that encompasses the prime elements of Americana culture, including
fast food, unwackable sprawled cities, huge wholesale retail stores, sea wall, mass consumerism,
music that serves as means of commercial advertisement, uniforms as fashion, and corrupt government
corporatocracy.
I'm like, I've never read a Burger Punk, but I do want to read one now.
And then it says Demolition Man is a quintessential Burger Punk film.
And I'm like, wait, I guess it does fit completely what they're saying.
Yeah, it does.
And this next one's called Composer.
It's a person who fix orgasms.
That's all I said.
This next one's called Skirted Egg.
A person who is bald on top but has hair on their sides and back was hurt on trailer park
boards where J-Rock told Mr. Lahey he looked like a skirted egg.
Yeah, because an egg with a skirt on would be like the hair at the bottom.
It's like a Costanza.
Basically, yeah.
Can't stand you.
All right, man.
That's it for Urban Dictionary today.
I hope you enjoyed something you learned today, especially Burger Punk.
Burger Punk is cool.
Pivot Man, not so much.
I liked it.
Hey, what you doing in your free time?
I'm not going to question this.
I don't have the fucking capabilities to organize a goddamn circle.
I don't have the, what's the word, the resources or the connections?
There's so many possibilities.
Oh, shit.
All right, well, going into our breakdown for the week, this is one that was a request
a couple of weeks ago.
This is Sugumomo.
I'm always going to fuck up the name.
Sugumomo is the name of it.
Sugumomo.
So, we start off with episode one.
It's called The Scent of the Cherry Blossoms.
This anime is a, it's a comedy.
Damn, I'm gonna need my cologne after that.
Scent of the Cherry Blossoms?
Yeah.
They'd be like, this shit is fucking prime.
They probably already have it.
Damn.
This is a comedy series, a Sainin anime, somewhat harem, but it's not like harem.
It's wild.
It's rated M, so it's not rated X.
Oh.
But it's rated M.
Close enough.
How close is softcore to hardcore?
I mean, honestly.
This is a lot more comedic take on it.
It's not so much of like, he's trying to get laid the entire time.
It's just a bunch of like comedic encounters.
Yeah.
So, episode one, Scent of the Cherry Blossoms.
Kazuya Kagami wakes up in class from a bad dream to discover that he has inadvertently
groped his classmate, Chisato Chikashi's breasts.
You can just fast forward to him in jail and the series.
Just be honest here.
That's how it would actually roll in real life.
Yes.
After escaping her wrath and her beating the shit out of him, Kazuya-
So he didn't escape a wrath, he beat the shit out of him.
Yes.
Like where he gets a puffy face and stuff at the end of it.
I don't consider that escaping a wrath.
Kazuya goes to the roof where he takes comfort in his late mother's obi, which is this like
scarf traditional thing in Japan, basically.
Kazuya is attacked by a possessed wig and falls off the building.
Okay.
Yes, a possessed wig.
You following here?
I'm with you.
But is saved by his obi.
It falls beneath him and catches him basically like by creating more-
It just gets stuck on a ledge and it breaks his neck.
It creates more of a like a cushion basically.
Cool.
It like grows to the size of like a cushion type thing.
From within his obi, a young girl named Tsukugogami emerges.
They are met by the host of the wig.
So the person that has this wig on now or is being possessed by this wig comes after
them.
Tsukugogami asks the host to sever their link with the wig, which the Tsukugogami calls
an amasogi, which is like a item that has come to life basically with energy.
However, the host and the wig attack and the Tsukomogami is forced to destroy the wig before
disappearing.
At home, Kazuya reflects on the day's events before falling asleep.
That's some weird shit and he fucking passes out.
Yeah.
Again, this is partially comedy.
So after another nightmare, he wakes up to find that the Tsukomogami is in his bed beside
him now.
After avoiding the confrontation with Kazuya's possessive sister, Kazumi, the Tsukomogami
introduces herself as Kiriya and that she, the Tsukomogami, is Kazuya's obi, the scarf,
and that Kazuya is now her servant.
So that's how the episode one ends.
He meets this girl named Kiriya and he learns that she is this scarf, basically.
This item basically come to life.
That's weird to me though.
Like normally they would say like, oh, it's his mother's scarf.
So maybe it's a portion of his mother.
Right.
But I'm like, okay, so why not?
That's the rational story element that should have gone down.
Right.
Instead of just a random girl.
Well, it's a random girl to him because he's never met this girl before.
Doesn't even look like a younger version of his mom at all?
No.
It looks like it's got like pointed ears, fangs.
Oh, it's an actual creature?
Yes.
Ish.
So it's a girl basically.
Okay.
Episode two, it's called The Library and the Childhood Friend.
Living with Kiriya is hard enough, but Kazuya also takes abuse from Chisato at school, the
same girl that he felt up.
Because they're kind of, they've been friends basically for a long time.
Finally made a move on her, huh?
And she does have the hots for him.
Oh boy.
That's why he woke up fondly her.
Having forgotten to complete his homework, Chisato drags Kazuya to the library to finish
his homework.
While in the library, Chisato bashfully offers Kazuya to come to his house and help him
study.
But he turns her down.
Because again, it's a comedy.
So he's like, no, I'm good.
I don't need any help.
I'm just too smart for it.
After Kazuya finishes, he encounters Kiriya while Chisato discovers that they are trapped
in the library.
Because she follows him to school basically.
This is Tsukumogami.
She follows him to school.
And she was like hidden behind one of the bookshelves.
So during the attempt to break free, the library transforms into an alternate space and the
books start flying and attacking Kiriya.
Kiriya realizes that Chisato is the host of the Amazogi and tells Kazuya to fulfill Chisato's
desire.
I wish it was like word like English versions of the word because I'm so confused all the
time with Japanese words.
Okay, I'll just put it this way.
I'll stop saying Tsukumogami.
Is that her name or is that the item?
That's the item.
Okay.
Or the type of creature she is.
So it's a type of creature?
Kazuya.
It's basically a creature that's born from mundane objects that have emotion and energy
put into them over time.
One of those things.
So I'll just say her name from this point on.
It's easier.
Or I'll just say the type of creature that she is to make it a little bit easier for
you to understand here.
So Kazuya asks Chisato if she would like to come to his house to tutor him.
And the library returns to normal because that was her whole desire.
She wants to go to his house and help him.
She loves education.
That's her whole thing.
She has a crush on him, but she also loves education.
Is she her moiny?
And of course she wears the glasses and everything else.
So traditional nerd.
Yes.
The girl next door is what I'm going to say.
At Kazuya's house, Chisato apologizes, however.
And this time Kirihai explains that it was not Chisato's fault, but that the Amazogi,
which is a possessed creature, basically like the item that since she loved books and all
that kind of stuff, that's why it turned into a library that was attacking them because
that was her emotional attachment type thing.
So in his attachment, obviously, Kazuya's is this obi, this scarf that belonged to a
mother.
It's still so weird to be like some sort of hook it up with some creature that came out
of his mom's scarf.
Yeah.
But weird me the fuck out.
On top of that, it was owned by his mom.
So his mom was also aware that this was a...
And mom was a lesbian?
No.
Surprisingly no.
Kirihai explains that it's not Chisato's fault.
So Kirihai is the girl that came out of the obi.
Chisato is the nerd girl.
But that the Amazogi was created due to a substance called miasma, basically.
Oh, they'll get all miasma.
I know.
Well, I'll say miasma, but the actual word is malison.
Miasma.
It's just easier to say.
Skyrim.
Yes.
And that such a high concentration was the fault of the local deity, Kukuri.
So deity now?
Yes, they're blaming the deity for this, the local deity.
So episode three is called Kukuri Hime.
That's basically the deity's name.
So Shiro is approached by Kokuyo, who mistakes him to be Kazuya.
Shiro is Kazuya's friend in school, basically.
Or somebody that knows him really well.
And Shiro is a pervert.
So...
Man, I'm using my own heart.
He is basically you.
He will try anything.
And he sees this lady named Kokuyo, and she's got some giant, like, massive bazongas.
Big ol' donkidons?
Yes.
Like, big ol' v5 fofombas?
Like Fs.
Good lord.
That's small for...that's small in my domain.
We're talking...we're talking Ems.
Zs.
I've seen...you know, I know the woman has Zs.
Oh god.
Yeah, she's on the internet.
Of course.
She's on Guinness World Records.
Oh really?
She has the biggest natural and, you know...
Are they natural?
Yeah.
Well, supposedly natural.
I mean, you know, Guinness is legit when it comes to actual...it's like, this shit has
to be legit or you all get banned.
We all get a grope.
That's a bunch of perverts.
Guinness is fucking strict.
Just fuck with their shit.
So hoping to be able to grope her boobs, he treats her to a lunch at a nearby family restaurant.
But he gets more than he bargained for when Kokuyu orders everything on the menu, leaving
him with a huge tab in the end.
She a hungry girl, huh?
She ate everything on the menu.
They gave her a plaque on the wall with her picture saying that she dominated the menu.
Damn.
Like, she ate everything.
Because they brought out like four carts and stuff like that for her to eat.
Not bad.
And she just starts shoveling.
Why are you like, oh my God.
He starts looking at his wallet.
Uh oh.
And she leaves him to pay the bill at the end.
Here's if it wasn't me, right?
She does that.
All that stuff happens.
He looks at his wallet.
She leaves.
And then the next, it cuts to black and then it's him just washing dishes during the end
credits.
No, this goes straight from that to the next day basically at school where he runs up to
I'll teach him comedy.
So the next day when Kazuya meets up with Osamu, he gets a flying kick from Shiro who
is apparently disappointed and green with envy as to what happened yesterday.
So Shiro thinks that since Kokuyu, this big bazonka zonka lady is looking for Kazuya,
he thinks that Kazuya has something to do with her.
Like he thinks that he knows her.
So he's like crouching on his hunting grounds.
Yes, yes.
Who is apparently disappointed and angry with envy as to what happened yesterday.
Moments later before recess, all of the students' lunches go missing.
Then Kokuyu appears eating all of them.
So she's still going on?
She's still eating all their shit in the school now.
You gotta keep that, you gotta keep her energy up.
Those tears are too big.
She orders Kazuya to come with her, but Kiriha intervenes.
So after a brief confrontation, Kiriha, Kazuya and Shizato, so these three girls accompany
Kokuyu to a local shrine where after confrontation is waiting for Kiriha, where basically they
have a confrontation that's waiting for them for all three of them.
Episode four, we go into trials of the local god.
So this is the deity that we were talking about earlier.
As a fight between Kiriha and Kukuri continues, Kiriha uses more power reducing her basically
to a chibi form.
It's a chibi.
Kid version form.
Oh, good Lord.
So she starts off like in late teens, early twenties.
Now she looks like a, I don't know, trying to think like a ash age.
Hey, what, like nine?
How old is he?
I don't know how old Ash is either.
Me neither.
He's like a 45 year old man.
He's got that disease that just keeps him the same age like Antimononachus.
He's actually 52 in the series.
So with Kiriha close to defeat, Kazuya has a vision and uses her true name to force her
into her obi form and wields her as a weapon against Kukuri, the deity.
And basically the vision that he has, it's his mom.
Showing him how to use different techniques and stuff like that.
Because Kiriha, she can control like these fabric pieces that fly out.
So you can make like a, think Green Lantern basically.
Where she can create woven shields, like where it's like a square.
She can create like drill bits that spin, even though they're made out of like silk,
like a silk cloth.
She can create hammers and stuff.
Like you can mold it into basically almost anything.
As long as you know how to weave the pattern that makes it.
Is basically the way that is.
What a weird ability.
Yeah.
He almost defeats Kukuri, this local deity, but finally has to accept the duty of Malicin
cleaner or miasma cleaner as Kukuri gets hold of Kiriha and threatens to kill her.
So basically she kind of like blackmails him into doing it.
Not a blackmail.
Yeah.
Hopefully it's more than $6.
So this is like the deity looks like a 30 year old, I would say somewhere around there
is like the age of with a mask on.
You can't tell exactly.
Okay.
Yeah.
So suddenly the string that holds her no mask on snaps.
The little string also reducing her to her kid form.
Geez.
So she looks like a seven year old.
Cause it's like two kids that are super powerful generally, but neither one of them have power.
So they like, they, they basically age to their power level.
Okay.
So the Kiriha in a state of rage suddenly roughs up on her forcefully and basically
makes Kukuri scream in agony where she grabs her leg and bends the ship back.
You know, comedic, good old guy, good old God dang from walls of Jericho.
Yes.
So, uh, cause of yeah, she's Otto and Kiriha leave the devastated shrine.
Cause it's a big asshole in it now.
And cause of yeah.
And Kiriha go home and take a bath.
That's the, the harem side.
Okay.
Again, it's more comedic than a lot of the overtly only sexual things at least.
Reminds me of that one series where that guy can make a lightsaber out of it, like thin
air.
Remember that old one, like 50 women living in his house.
It was an old show from back on Cartoon Network.
Like he was like, he was like related to like some space, like alien with like superpowers.
And there was one with like long white hair.
That was like an outlaw.
And then there was a scientist with red hair underneath the house.
And I'm like, what?
Oh, Gintama.
I don't know.
I don't know what it's called.
I think it was Gintama.
He's just a regular random guy.
Yeah.
Like he's like a lightsaber is like on a thin air.
I think that was Gintama.
I'm pretty sure.
Cause that's an older anime.
Yeah, it was.
It was old.
I have to look at it.
It was even old for when I was watching it.
Like he's like, like, just like the art style looked older than, you know, what like I was
watching in your, not in your Yasha at the time.
Oh God, in your Yasha.
That seemed, that seemed crisper than what this was.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I still don't know what it's called.
They're like, they remade it.
And I tried to watch the remake.
I was like, nah.
You didn't want to see it?
Not really.
Not the remake.
Was it that?
No, no, he didn't have white hair.
Okay.
I'll have to figure that one out.
I'll have to figure out which one that was.
It was a harem style one too.
I don't think he hooked up on any single one.
And these are just cause he lived in his fucking house.
As far as I know, like, uh, there, there's like a couple of instances where it may be
implied, but it's never like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know, but it's never like, I'll put it this way.
It's not redo of healing or redo of healer.
The one that we never aired.
We will never air.
Exactly.
It's not that.
So episode five is called training.
So Kazuya is unable to reenact his fighting skills with the OB and is forced to undergo
curious Spartan training.
That's part in training.
Jesus Christ.
That proves to be too much for him.
Kira explains to Kazuya the finer details about Tsugumo, Tsugomomo, Tsugomomo, Tsugomomo
like herself.
Meanwhile, Kokiri and Kokuyu don't have money to get the shrine fixed, which eventually
collapses during the storm.
It shows them holding up tarps, trying to nail boards, and then a tree just flies through
it.
Damn.
So you get the comedic side of it.
They have to move their quarters to the park and they get ridiculed by Kira, who happens
to be passing by.
They're living in like underneath side of a slide.
Shit.
You can fucking go through it, huh?
That's the best part.
The next day, Kazuya is summoned by Tata...
What was it?
Tata Tata Tadaka.
Tata Tata Tadaka?
The fuck is that?
Is that dumb for a comedic effect the name or what?
I'm like, what the fuck?
The school student council president.
Oh.
School student council president.
Fucking hilarious.
Just them saying the name.
Yeah.
They say it so fast.
All right.
He was the one that was being the host for the Amasogi that they encountered in episode
one, the wig.
Okay.
Who asks...
Tata Taka asks him and Kira to investigate a series of mysterious Amasogi manifestations
that occur with a tabletop RPG association.
That's the club.
Cool.
Tabletop RPG association.
We should join one of those.
You think there's anywhere in the city?
I'm sure.
Let's go find some.
With its lone member, Nakazima.
One poor motherfucker myself.
That was the best part of the whole thing.
He's just sitting there just messing with the board pieces.
The biggest nerd you could possibly create an anime.
The lone member, he's trying to create a club and get a room.
Poor guy, man.
Damn, that must suck.
I always wanted to go to that library down the street.
It has a chess club, right?
Yeah.
For years, I always wanted to go and I never did.
It could be like Nakazima.
I just played chess by myself.
I just flipped the board.
I got one of those little daisy counters, what are they called?
The ones that spin in circles?
Yeah.
The one that spins in circles, the one that spins in circles.
They're going to go investigate Nakazima because he's the culprit.
As they go through the hallway to confront Nakazima, they are joined by Asuma.
What do you call it?
He's another type of nerd that's a manga artist in high school, but he's also a perv.
A man after my own heart.
If I could draw the things you would see.
Oh my God, what if I could draw?
Asuma is a very, he's a perv.
I would send you so many pictures of what I drew.
He's a perv that's into like a scatily client, weird shit for women type things that he draws.
He needs inspiration for his drawing.
If you need inspiration for drawing, look at Tooby, you'll find some of the most exploitation
type stuff you can possibly find.
So Nakazima orders a Minotaur he created by drawing it on an Amasogi notepad.
Man, I remember that weird Batman episode where they get sucked into a computer.
Yes.
It was so out of character.
Oh, I love that show.
So in this case, the only reason that the Minotaur comes to life for Nakazima, this
nerd that's wanted to create.
Because he puts so much fucking emotion into it.
It just became real.
Like where he, everything he draws on this notepad becomes real and manifest in reality.
So he created it by drawing it on this Amasogi notepad to attack them intending to force
Tadataka to sanction the RPG association as an official club because right now it's just
him.
Why didn't you just ask?
Well, he tries, but the school council president won't do it.
He's like, it's just you.
What are you talking about?
That is 100% reasonable.
And he's having the worst reaction.
All he has to do is find enough members.
Yes.
And instead he fucking flips out.
But he can't find nobody else to join.
I would join for him.
I don't think it would be a bad club.
I just find it hilarious.
That we should have done in the school.
If I knew that was an option.
We ain't got that kind of stuff in school here.
This is Japan.
You have to remember they have different things than what we do.
We have tabletop games and stuff.
Yeah, but you can't just create a club out of nowhere.
You can't be like, excuse me, can we petition to have this school?
If you got to get 30 members, yeah.
Like no problem.
And no one fucking joins.
It's just you standing there alone with your board.
So unable to battle the Minotaur, Kazuya, Kiriha, and the rest can only retreat and
manage to outsmart Nakajima.
But he does not give up until his final attempt fails when Asumu switches his Amatsuki notepad
with his.
Because they're both artists supposedly.
So he swaps them.
What is in his?
Oh no.
After the encounter, the group decides to dispose of the Amatsuki notepad.
But before he can be done, Asumu draws, sorry, Asumu uses it to draw an adult version of
Kiriha in her underwear.
Oh Lord.
What do you mean an adult version?
Is she still a child?
Yeah, she's in her chibi form right now.
That nasty motherfucker.
He draws her in as an adult though.
Yeah, but I mean, he's thinking of her as a, has he seen her as an adult?
Yes.
Okay, okay.
So that's why I was hoping it would be nicer where he looked at it.
He's like, that's nicer than what you really look like.
Like he gets beating from her instead.
I imagine he would.
He's like, oh, look Kiriha, you have boobs.
Just the absolute shit kicked out of him.
Did you ever think about that one anime where this guy is like an absolute fucking hound
and this, he finds, this woman finds him digging through her underwear or something in her
locker.
I can't remember the actual setup, but she, it's that community thing where she starts
kicking his head in on the ground, like super fast, like the whole like comedy bit that
they do.
And then she stops and she spits and he catches it in his mouth like, and then she fucking
kicks the shit out of him some more.
It's just like, she finds him, she starts kicking the hell out.
Like I'm talking about her fucking heel is ramming into his skull repeatedly as he lays
on the ground, all for comedic effect, completely stops and she's like, she takes a huge luge
and spits and he's just like, ah, she goes back to kicking his head in.
So you could be in one of these.
I live one of those.
I get spit on every day.
I was trying to catch it too.
That's why they spit so low now.
All right.
So episode six is called memories and childhood friends.
A student confesses to this woman asked me like, like she said she's not afraid of heights
and I'm like, I'm not either.
I tell women, damn, I'm good.
What she looks like.
I'm really good with comebacks.
Like, don't try me.
Don't try me, bitch.
I'm like, I'm like the wild west, like the quickest.
All right, a student confesses to Chisato and she rejects it.
She rejects him.
The nerd rejects this dude because he's got like just a horrible fucked up face with the
square like a lieutenant surge here, dude.
God, we're straight cut.
Oh, lieutenant surge.
Yeah.
The whole like blonde.
Yeah.
Only this is brown hair, but the same hairstyle basically.
Right.
So, in the middle of the night, he's talking to a girl, hosting and I'm a soggy.
He turns the school into a dating sim, a gal game, forcing Kazuya to compete with him in
a game for Chisato's affection.
He basically turns it into one of those kind of, uh, Oh, what was those games on?
A new grounds a long time ago.
Somebody got caught with it.
God, you know what I'm talking about?
Those ones where you like, you, you, you have like a normal life and then you, the whole
combination is you hook it up with a girl.
Yes.
That's what this dude has.
That's his Amazoki.
Oh boy.
The whole thing.
Jesus.
So it turns the whole school into one of these games.
Damn.
So, however, not everything goes as planned and she's auto hates Kazuya even more because
he keeps fucking up the lines.
Oh, everything he does more.
Kazuya asks, I've been doing that with that new game, Marvel's midnight sons on a, on
a fucking, uh, PS4, like the little, like I'm trying to talk to that one chick magic.
The mutant, everything I say makes her mad.
I'm like, God dang it.
So Kazuya asks, uh, also, uh, also, and I, uh, to help him win.
She's auto's affection and also, and I reveals that there's a glitch that can help cause
you to win the game.
Yay.
This is the perv, the one that draws.
He comes out of the fucking like, he comes out like a darkened room in the hallway.
Like I can fix it.
I can, I can help you.
He's like, he's on a full Darth Sidious episode three of South of a star Wars.
I can, I can help you.
He knows everything about the game.
I can help you keep her alive.
So Hiroshi, which is the guy that's got this game is about to ask cheese auto out under
the cherry tree, but cause we interrupts him before he finishes.
She's auto ask, uh, cause of yeah, what he wants saying, uh, it was like, what do you
want with this like anger in her eyes because he's fucked up everything through the whole
day.
Like if it was like the actual stats, he'd be like negative.
Fuck her heart stat.
Yeah.
Like he's beyond negative literally on the points because he's fucked it up so much.
So causing it takes two dolls out of his backpack and tells her that he found them after looking
for them.
Then he tells her that he wants to play house with her.
That's the one line that we're at wins because it supersedes every other lie.
Like cause what, uh, I was an, I, he, what he said is that, um, the, the free words that
you choose when you try to win this game at the, the last exploit that there is, whatever
her, her soul wants, uh, will beat everything.
Okay.
He's like, I know how to win this.
I remember one time, uh, in red, the redemption too, it has nothing to do with like, cause
you have honor stats.
You can have really low honor by doing terrible things.
You can have really high honor by doing really great things.
Right.
And one time I helped this guy from getting mauled by a, I did it twice by the way to
see what would happen.
The first time he was getting attacked by wolves and he was up on this little, uh, little
rock, uh, this boulder in the, in the woods and he was slipping.
So I scared the wolves away and he climbs down like, thank you partner.
I appreciate that.
I'm fucking blue.
I don't know why I got so much negative points for that.
The other time he's like, I heard him like, cause I, it was another replay.
Like it was another like a playthrough that I played red, their redemption to a lot.
And he's like, help me partner.
I mean, these, these wolves are going to get me and I see, I've, so I wanted to see how
far it goes, right?
Legit fucking falls off and they fucking eat them alive.
It's still me.
They still lost negative points.
I didn't do shit to them.
You watched.
Well, yeah, I watched with Benach.
All right.
So he says that he wants to play house with her because this is what apparently they did
whenever they were really like little kids.
Okay.
Where she always wanted to play house with the two dolls that she had.
Right.
And that's what her, you know, we had that one time in kindergarten, like little house,
like, like a playhouse, right?
So I'm gonna shit in the toilet.
Nasty motherfucker.
So Chisato's affection is raised to the maximum and she remembers the time that she used to
play house with Kazuya in kindergarten.
Kazuya and Chisato go to the nurse's office and decide to rest because basically it's
like, fuck this.
Cause she just came out of like a, like a trance.
So she's fucked up too.
Meanwhile, Kiriya and Ozani ask Hiroshi where his CD basically is.
He says in the computer lab, right?
Put that bitch in the computer lab.
Ozani asks, surprised what version of the game it is.
Turns out to be the game's X rated version.
Oh shit.
So in the nurse's office, where Kazuya is, Kazuya wakes up tied to the bed.
Ozani and Hiroshi rushed to the computer lab and managed to destroy the Amazogi, the disc.
Kiriya rushes to the nurse's office.
It was surprised by what she saw.
But she was.
Were they both hiding behind curtains because they're both butt naked?
Oh Lord.
But it never says exactly what happened.
Like you don't know if anything, like you don't know if the disc was destroyed before
or something.
That's the comedic side of it though.
Or it's like.
For the back breaker, 9,000 did his work or not.
It's like, Ozani's like, Oh God, which version is it?
It's like, it's the PC version.
He's like, Oh, that ain't the mobile version.
That's the one that.
That's the real one.
Oh no.
Cause he knows everything about the game.
But he does.
All right.
So the next one is a Kani Yamasan.
Here's the title of it.
After encountering a big malice and manifestation from school, Kiriya and her usual temper fit
confronted Kukuri in a series of torturous wrestling locks where she expresses her anger
over the latter's misinformation about the malice and levels that Kazuya should have
encountered basically.
Cause these deities, they can buy weather, weather forecasts for the miasma levels.
But she's too broke to afford it.
So she had last week's.
So she has no idea what's going on.
Basically.
That sucks.
So they thought Kokuyo is around.
She is unable to provide support since she has a report for work in order to pay off
the repairs and other debts that the shrine still owes.
So this demon girl that's got the big ass boobs is having to go work somewhere to pay
off the deity's shit.
To hit certain only flans fans.
You mean set the torture only stopped when Kazuya promises to buy Kiriya some pudding.
That's her weakness.
Cups of pudding.
While waiting for Kazuya, Kiriya and Kokuri have a little friendly chat while building
a sand dam in the playground.
Since they're living still in the playground.
Until a duo of rowdy boys ruin it.
Kids.
That cause Kiriya to go around, go around after them until Kazuya arrives and takes
them both back to his house.
He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Jason little kids all around and shit.
Well, uh, Kazuya and Kiriya settle down for dinner.
I, the Kazuya plans to take some of his large portion leftover to Kiriya because he's having
dinner with his family and he's gonna it's like, you know what?
I've got some extra.
I'm going to go take it up to her because he doesn't finish off his helpful dinner.
Right.
Okay.
Only to learn that her existence was already known on the day that she had taken a human
form more so as Kazuya's father who already knew her ever since he was courting his mother
way back in high school.
So his dad already knows about this fucking spirit.
He's like, how do you, we already know who she is.
Even though he was trying to hide it the entire time.
Cause he's like, I got this girl at my house.
Like he's afraid that somebody is going to find her and think some weird shit.
And it turns out they already know.
They already know she's there the entire time.
His sister and his dad.
Uh, whom is Kiriya's master during that time.
So Kazuya's mom, uh, where she always gives him a rough time.
Basically Kiriya ruins Kazuya's dad's everything.
Like every time he would try to do something like a romantic for a Kazuya's mom, she'd
fuck it up.
Yeah.
Like they'd be in the movies and he'd reach his hand over and somehow she would just be
there just smashing the shit out of his hand.
Like every little thing you can think of, like he's trying to be nice to this girl and
she's fucking up his whole day.
Or he hands her a like love note and then she just rips the shit and throws it in the
air.
So she had to rewrite it and rewrite it and send it back to him.
It wouldn't be surprising.
Hey, Kazuya has decided to bring some pudding to Kokiri only to find their temporary shrine
demolished.
Their same castle slides that has been demolished.
So now they don't have anywhere to live either.
And it was all because after a parent complained to the city official about it being a safety
hazard for her children.
Damn.
God dang Karens.
Kazuya's sister and father, uh, allow, uh, Kiriya and Kazuya, uh, he allows basically
the demon Bazonkazonk lady and the deity to live at their house for a little while.
Yeah.
You know what?
Y'all can stay here after she got blackmailed.
We're at 350.
Let's see here.
Uh, and it's all because Kiriya blackmails Kazuya's father about the embarrassing love
letter he was reciting to Kazuya's mother when they were teenagers at the time.
Cause he says, I can't have somebody else stay here.
And then she just starts reading like reciting words.
He's like, you can stay here.
He's like, oh shit, shut up.
Shut up.
Cause it's just too embarrassing.
Uh, on the next day, Kiriya together with, uh, Kukuri and Kazuya, they go down to, uh,
Kanara shrine in order to borrow some money from Taguri, which is another deity.
So it's like, you know what?
To fix our shrine, we're going to have to go see her and borrow some money.
Take a loan from someone else.
Yes.
In order to purchase, um, I, it's basically to get one of those forecasts that I was talking
about that you have to pay for.
Right.
They need enough money to do that.
How much are these Jesus?
God dang.
Cause think about it.
Deities should have donations given to them constantly.
Right.
So they're supposed to have money for stuff, but she can't afford it.
Weird.
I guess they don't have a lot of, uh, devotees.
No, they don't.
Uh, but on a condition is she'll give them the money.
But on the condition that they play her version of cards where every wrong move has a corresponding
consequence where Kyria, Kyria and Kukuri's to their chagrin, they have to endure the
entire game with a series of perverted acts by Taguri.
Oh Lord.
The names of the shit is fucking hilarious.
Like licky, licky smooch.
Oh God.
And this lady, this deity, this, uh, Taguri, she's a fucking freak, but she only likes
those two girls.
She doesn't like Kazooie at all.
She looks at him with one of those like scowls, like it says on the thing, girls here only
on a sign binder.
It's like, it's basically the match game, the whole like card matching where you have
to match each one as like a Paris.
You can't remember the actual name of the damn game right now, but it's like where you
have to match two of each for everything as you go.
Does it just match?
I guess it might just be, I don't know what the fucking name of it is.
It might be the simplest thing we can't even think of.
You know what I'm talking about though.
Yeah.
You just like, you know, two of the same item or like any like, oh, two, uh, two fucking
ducks.
Yeah.
And then like, you gotta like, you gotta remember it when you see it and like it flips back
over and you gotta do it again.
Like, oh, you gotta remember that was there.
That was there.
Yeah.
So they're like three choice, three chances.
Like what the fuck?
Three chances to try.
So all these, uh, these, uh, brass cards have different things written on them.
Some of them are money amounts, which is what you get when you win.
And then the other ones are the perverted.
I mean, like that has monetary value or has a, has value of a different kind of me.
It might not be monetary.
So the two girls have to play with the exception of Kazuya since the game can only be played
by girls.
So what's he there for?
I guess he gets a show.
In the end, to curry does win everything.
She gives them like every time the money comes up, you get the money.
But she gets all the perverted acts every so the game ends, whatever they garner about
175,000 yen.
God, that sounds like actually, but there's like licky, licky soul.
The souls of their feeds and then, oh, I don't like footplay and then grope.
She's like, we're having daddy's handfuls.
There's one where it's buddy costume.
The other ones, why don't you just pay just for that stuff?
That's the whole, like the whole comic bit.
She was paying them to do dirty stuff to him because she wins every time he just skipped
and just asked because they try to win.
I'm like, how am I?
How much for both of you?
Well, cause they're playing going into it is that since they're brass cards, they know
that degree is playing by watching like, uh, like marked cards almost like we're fingerprints
on which cards have been touched and stuff like that.
She knows where they are and their whole thing is they do trick her by wiping off the fingerprints
whenever she goes to help, um, carry out, find the bathroom.
And of course she fronts to followers since exactly.
Even perverts have their limits for play and a toilet, you know, stuffing for this one,
for it to grow.
She likes it all.
She does and she wipes all the things off.
So whenever the, uh, uh, when this deity comes back to Guri, she's like, she thinks that
she knows that they, or they moved the cards, right?
It turns out they never moved the cards.
They just wiped off the fingerprints and it's like, ha ha, now we win.
And then she points the sign behind her where it says no one allowed to touch cards when
it's not your turn.
So of course that's why she gets the, she gives him the 175,000 yen, but then she gets
to do all the dirty shit that she wants.
Oh boy.
Uh, episode eight, it's called a certain day with Kagami household.
So it's a, it's basically two episodes in one, two stories in one.
Uh, the first follows the exploits of the story.
A and B basically.
Yeah.
It's got two titles, all that kind of stuff.
A is the main story and B is the subplot because the first one is a certain day in the Kagami
house.
And then the second half is called the super popular fragrance.
Maybe it's not a B. Maybe it's just too many stories.
I think it's just too many stories in there.
Uh, the first follows the exploits of the Kagami household on an average day with no
myosmical cleansing.
So it's like they're going to the grocery store, just literally doing mundane shit.
The dad's just like these bills.
Yeah.
So he's here, just open up a drawer.
Just to take a fucking ball of scotch.
And uh, the second one, the super popular, a popular fragrance, that first pervert that
we met in the first episode that noticed the big bazanca song girl, he creates his own
item like out of wheel power.
Sheer perverted will.
Yes.
We're into cologne.
So he sprays it on him.
It draws every woman to him.
You know, I bought this cologne at Walmart parking lot the other day.
It's called liquid penny dropper.
You bought it just for the name, didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
This guy was selling out of the trunk of his car.
I'm like, why not?
Depends on how much you paid.
So uh, so do these stories run parallel?
Like like this first one scene is one story.
Then the next scene is in the other story and then so on and so forth.
Or is it one story all the way through than the other story all the way through?
Uh, the story is just all the way through each of them.
Each one.
There are just a mini story and they're not really like, uh, they don't tie in with the
rest of the season.
It's basically kind of a filler a little bit.
Yeah.
Good old fella.
What happens eventually is that uh, cause of yeah, for the second episode where it's
the fragrance one, right?
He takes it from me.
He's like, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
Like he takes his place.
Like, no, it's all I have.
Basically.
Yes, that is what it is, but uh, he takes it and then it gets spilled all over him.
Yeah.
Because that's so then everybody's chasing him.
Everybody or just, uh, all the women are chasing Kazuya.
He ends up with all these girls in the bathtub together.
Just like the most random shit.
I guess.
So to get out of all that he's because basically when you destroy somebody else's created,
uh, I'm a Zogi.
You give them a car, a karmic decrease.
It's so like, um, the one that had the wig, his punishment after it got killed by Kiriya,
it, uh, it caused him to go bald.
Oh, okay.
So like, there's like repercussion.
Yeah.
If you don't destroy it yourself, if you destroy it yourself, like the, the one that created
the game, like where he had his own like perverted game going on, he broke his own, the game
itself.
So he didn't create any repercussions.
I wonder what, I guess the writer couldn't come up with something.
What would the repercussion be for a video game?
It'd be weird.
Reverse harem.
So he's just part of another person's harem?
One in the line?
You know, you never know.
So the repercussion and the backlash to Kazuya destroying this bottle of, uh, of cologne
that's not his, because it manifested with him since it poured all over him.
He smashes the bottle and makes the, uh, that other dude, uh, he smells like ass for like
a whole week.
A whole week, huh?
You think it'd be for life.
The description was dirty diapers and garbage.
Oh God.
And it says that he suffered less than the people around him.
Wow.
They took the true brunt of it.
Because they're all there.
But do you see the picture he's sitting in the back with his desk and everybody else
is to the edges of the way?
Oh my God.
The teacher bent over the desk.
Just trying to breathe while he teaches his class.
That's fucking hilarious.
That is funny.
We're just like, Oh God.
He's just saying like, what?
I'm surprised it's not permanent seeing as the other guy went fucking bald.
Well, he got his hair back, but like it's for a temporary time.
Okay.
Random amounts though.
Cause I guess it depends on how bad it was.
Right.
Just fucking smelling like ass every day.
He goes home and his head like, so you smell like fucking ass.
I'm like, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
He just always smells like that.
He always smells like absolute fucking dog ass.
Next one is called Episode 9 Letter.
How many are there?
At 12. It's a short season.
Nice start.
There is a second season.
Good old One Piece.
I know.
Let's do the second season next week.
We're gonna start a whole new season.
It's gonna go on for a thousand episodes.
One Piece.
That's just the show. There is no season.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Same way with Naruto.
What ever fucking chapter you're on.
There is no season. It's just...
Chapter 1,917.
I wonder how far he's gonna go.
You think he can break 2,000?
He couldn't.
Yes, he could.
He couldn't break 2,000 One Piece episodes.
He could.
What more does he have left to say?
I know they went through everything.
I mean, we're talking about like if he does it once a week, even with the bi-weeks,
it's almost like a little bit over the 40... 48 maybe?
I think his longest break was a month.
Take Four Away, that's still 48 out of 52 weeks.
Depends on how long his publisher wants him to continue.
What do you mean? As long as the story matters.
It should always be about the story.
For instance, that's why Kubo quit.
The guy that made Bleach.
Did he?
Pressures.
He's like, fuck it, I'm done.
His art, like his art in the manga started getting worse.
He didn't care as much.
He broke his arm, it suddenly worked.
Use your left one.
Alright, so episode 9.
The episode starts with Kazuya and Kiriya doing a mock battle with Kokiri,
unable to act fast enough to give Kokiri the upper hand,
thus losing to her, which infuriates Kiriya.
As punishment, she has Kazuya do a hundred practice weaves,
much to his chagrin.
I keep forgetting he has that weird power.
I keep forgetting he has his abilities.
With her anyway.
The next day in school, Kazuya together with Chizato and Asumu
were summoned by Tarataka again.
Why does everything that's happened in this school that's always you three?
This is where we find out who suffered from baldness due to his malice and atonement.
That's what it's considered as, malice and atonement.
It wasn't him? Or they didn't know it was him?
They didn't know that he was bald.
They knew it was him, but they didn't know that because he goes to open the door and falls.
What, his wig falls off?
Yes.
He must have put a lot of attachment to that wig.
Now that I think about it, it's like a prized possession.
And then whenever they walked in, he puts it back on like lightning fast.
He sits down and he's like, we're not just going to walk past that, are you fucking bald?
And he's wanting them to look into a string of haunting attacks that involves a deceased student named Nago
who died two years ago from an apparent suicide.
During their investigation, they encounter Nanakai, who is a member of the school's newspaper club,
who is also investigating the same case.
They had a brief encounter with Nago after she tries to attack Kosakabe in the changing room,
which is another girl, but you're not going to have to worry about the name as much.
After the brief encounter,
So you're saying she's going to die or something?
No, not specifically, no.
Kosakabe has told them about Nago, her history, with what they consider the Nishina Yuichi fan club.
So she's Yuichi, like, oh, she's got the eyes?
No, no, no.
God dang Shining God?
She is a member of a club that likes a guy, and they created a whole club.
One guy?
Around this one, loving this one guy, and he didn't even know about the club.
Justin Bieber?
Kind of, yes, it's almost like that.
Same kind of hair to you too.
And they later learned that Nanakai is Nago's sister, and fearing that one of this club would be the next to be attacked,
both Kazuya and Kiriya sprung into action in order to save her from Nanako,
where they also learned that Aiko is a kameone and a lock of hair.
Basically, this girl used a lock of her sister's hair to bring this monster to life, to get revenge for her sister's suicide.
A little too dark now.
No.
The writer should have found some other angle than suicide.
Basically, they fear that it contains information that would put the blame on the group,
and that's the reason that this group never said anything about what happened.
However, as she gives the letter to Nanako, she later finds out that Aiko was infected by Asamogi growth in her chest.
Basically, this face-looking thing in the middle of her chest, rather.
And that she killed herself in order to protect her sister from Amasogi's influence.
After Nanako had finished reading the letter and finding out the truth,
both Kazuya and Kiriya have to face this monster, which they had difficulty with,
but in the end, they managed to destroy it.
In the last few moments of the episode,
Sumeragi, a malicent cleanser, has appeared while Kiriya is pounding Kazuya in anger,
because he didn't work hard enough.
Now she's beating the shit out of him again.
Yeah, but he's pounding him in anger.
Yes.
That sounded way different.
All because Kazuya refused to retreat during the battle.
So he's like, you stupid son of a bitch.
Hey man, samurais don't retreat.
Why, he's just got like this big old shit just popping out of his face.
Like he's constantly, and then the one thing she'll do is she'll grab his nuts and just start ripping them.
Oh, what the fuck?
Where he's like...
Is he really, ah, or is he like, ah?
No, it's like she's...
He's like, ah!
He acts like he hates him, but he loves it.
Yeah, he fucking loves that shit.
Fucking squeeze him.
So alternate the squeeze, left to right.
So squeeze one and stop, then squeeze the other and stop.
And back and forth.
Episode 10 is called Nude and the Futon.
Ah, I have many memories of that.
Kazuya and Kiriya are challenged and attacked at school by Sunao,
which is the girl that was watching them beforehand,
who holds a vendetta against Kazuya's mother and her katana, Kotetsu,
that's the sword's name.
Later, Kiriya tries to confront Kazuya whenever he refuses to get up from the futon.
Because he's ass naked.
He's all wrapped up in a blanket and he doesn't want to do shit.
He's ass naked, isn't he?
When she suddenly turns back to her normal grown form.
She was still a child?
Yeah, the chibi form.
Hell.
They're caught in an embarrassing position when Kazumi and Kokiri enter the room.
Because he's underneath the blankets all nude as shit.
His fucking ass naked.
Because she's like, are you gonna ever get up?
Never.
Because he didn't want to fight this girl Sunao.
He's like, I ain't never getting up.
Why are you butt naked?
What are you gonna do for food?
My sister will bring me food.
He's never gonna leave that futon.
Weird.
Episode 11 is called Duel.
Kazuya.
I knew it.
Have you watched your favorite Digimon?
The one with the card.
The one you can't fucking stand.
I can't stand that one.
I can't.
I don't know why it's my favorite one.
What is it?
I think because the actual kids have more actual, what's the word?
Usage.
Yeah, they're not just standing there like, oh my god, I'm a monster.
They're over here fucking digging strategy.
Alright, so episode 11, Kazuya has a dream where he talks about his relationship with
Kiriya to his mother, Kanaka, not her name.
The next day, he has a duel with Sennao, organized by the deity Kukuri, to determine who will
be this town's miasma cleaner, basically.
Who's gonna be the sheriff, eh?
This town ain't big enough for two sheriffs.
Episode 12 is called Partner.
This is the last episode of the season.
Partner.
During the duel with Sennao and Kotetsu, Kiriya and Kazuya enter a state of divine possession,
greatly increasing their power.
Basically, she takes over his body completely.
His hair turns white from being black.
He gets markings on his head and he's able to use her powers.
God dang, super saiyan all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Greatly increasing their power.
Afterwards, at home, Kukuri takes care of an exhausted Kazuya and Kiriya manipulates
her into bathing him.
It's like, that's your punishment.
You made him do this shit.
Go give him a bath.
Because he can't move.
Just dumps him in the fucking water.
He's just fucking drowning.
Sennao's mother states that she can't come home to be the head of the family unless now
she has to marry Kazuya somehow.
This girl that he fought.
She goes back to her house and he's like, you got fucked up by him.
Now you gotta marry him because that's the only way you're becoming the head of the family.
Wait.
Yeah.
So we now got another goddamn freeloader?
Yeah.
Well, I don't think she's living with him yet.
At least not in this episode.
Sure.
There's the next season, like 50 women in there.
And then at the very end of the episode, we have Kiriya.
She's joining the school now as an actual student.
It's going to go by the name Obinakihira.
Obinakihira.
That's how the episode ends.
Huh.
It is like, I'll put it this way.
There is fan service in it, but there's a lot of comedic parts in there that actually
make it, I don't know, probably like a seven for me.
Seven out of ten.
Like it's not the best anime I've ever seen in the world, but it has its funny moments
to it.
Like every time he does something stupid, it's like, it just gets the shit beat every
time.
He's always doing something stupid.
So running his mouth or saying the wrong things.
And he's so innocent about it.
Like he doesn't mean to.
He just, he fucks up constantly.
But that's the end of my breakdown for tonight.
Anything to add to that?
Where's the hentai version?
I'm sure there is one, it wouldn't be surprising.
It would be hard to extend it out to a hentai version.
That's why it's rated TVM.
TVM.
Damn, it's a deep one.
Yes.
So the TV14, where you got Sanji sucking on a lollipop instead of smoking a cigarette.
Yes.
Well, that's the four kids version.
Yeah.
With probably the best intro to One Piece ever.
Damn, they had a great fucking song.
All right.
Ready for some Reddit?
Our last segment of the night.
Alrighty.
These are hopefully decent.
First one.
I saw one earlier that said, like, I still shower with my brother.
That was the title.
What?
I don't even want to dig into that one.
You sure don't.
Because they still shower.
Some sister and her brother like, are still showering together.
They're like maybe like teenagers or maybe.
Regardless.
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, that's way too old.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I was watching her on TikTok.
Someone was reading it, right?
Yeah.
And she had just read the title.
And then she said, like, they go to school together and they play sports and they just
hop in the shower after they run track or something.
I'm like, wait, how old are they?
And then she never said, she never, I just skipped over.
But her expression when she said, like, I still shower with my brother.
And she looked up at the camera and I'm like, it's fucking cold.
It's the same response I would have.
I was like, huh?
You looked up, you're like, that's the same response I had.
I'm like, huh?
All right.
First one is by Educational Wonder 70.
So you might get educated.
It says, so I've had a rash on my armpit for a week.
I'm very diligent between washing it multiple times a day with soap and hot water, but it
kind of started getting the sort of smell that fungal infections have.
Uh oh.
I was going to go to the doctor on Monday if I still had it.
The smell went away after I washed it and went about it.
I went about my day, but waking up and after getting in bed after a long day, there it
was.
My mattress pad is really annoying.
Every night as I toss and turn, it starts to slide off the bed.
So every night before bed, I move everything back over.
Today, the eggshell padding underneath.
I don't know what eggshell padding, uh, trying to think what eggshell padding is.
It's probably just like a cushion.
Maybe like eggshells.
Possibly.
You know those nasty fucking sandals that look like golf balls?
Maybe like that.
Could be.
So the eggshell padding beneath it had bunched up, so I pulled up my pad to flatten out the
egg crate.
What the fuck?
Now what the fuck?
Is he just sleeping on fucking egg crates?
Is this what he's saying?
I think it's that one kind of like foam stuff where it's got the little like hives and what
the fuck?
The ridges?
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's what he's talking about.
The one where you don't piss in your mattress because you're a bed wetter?
Yes.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
Yes, that's what it is.
And there I find a dead mouse.
Oh my fucking God.
Shaped into the egg crate, clearly dead.
And there that pungent smell.
That smelled just like a fungal infection.
So he got infected from a dead mouse?
No, he was laying on it.
Right.
And then like did it, wait, was it?
The smell was getting on him.
So it wasn't actually an infection on him?
No.
But he said he had a rash.
Well, he had a rash and I think it was because of the dead mouse creating like a rash on
him.
Fucking gross.
Now, of course, it's one of the worst smells I have ever smelled.
Yeah, of course.
Because I'm horrified by the situation.
My brain decided to stop rationalizing it as my own smell.
I sprayed down everything possible with a deodorizing spray that they use in hospitals,
and I just about bathed myself in disinfectant.
But I'm still totally and utterly disgusted.
Is he a nurse or something?
What do you mean they use in hospitals?
What kind of fucking chemicals do you have?
Fabuloso.
Jesus Christ.
That shit's strong as fuck.
Shit is powerful.
You got to dilute it.
If you hit a bear on the fucking floor, it'll melt.
I've done that.
It's like, it just takes your breath away.
You wake up like an hour later.
It's like, what happened?
Knocks your ass out.
It's like mix that with bleach like damn.
Shit'll blow up in your face.
Shit is stronger than a fucking nuclear bomb.
That shit is strong though.
Yeah, the fabuloso is strong as fuck.
They use that in the bathrooms where I work.
Like you go in there beforehand.
It's like, oh.
You go in there after the cleaning ladies come through and it's like, fuck, it's just
strong.
It just fucking burns your eyes and just melts away your nose.
It's like a wall when you walk in.
It's almost like a good bad, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know it's not going to hurt you, but you're like, oh man.
It's like, ugh.
And they use the lemon guys.
It just goes down your throat.
Takes it for a couple hours.
Yeah, you basically do.
Alrighty.
Next one is by oddbag8213.
This person puts, this happened a few days ago.
So technically not today.
I fucked up, but too embarrassed to share with friends.
I'm pretty happy with my junk size and my girlfriend is too, but we were throwing ideas
out to spice it up a bit and include a new toy or toy or something.
So I came to an idea to introduce a...
Let me stop you right there.
Did he make a fucking, one of those things that you build out of your own dick?
Kind of.
Okay, go ahead.
A sleeve.
Okay.
I'm not saying the word because I don't feel like getting demonetized that badly, but...
But we wanted it to make an actual difference.
We had an idea to go over the top and get a huge one.
I'm talking eight inch length.
God dang.
So I put it on and we used it for a bit, but it kept slipping.
I kept slipping.
It was called the Mariano Trench.
But it kept slipping out.
So I lost focus and I started to fall off.
Fall off?
Oh, he was losing his erection?
I take the sleeve off to get back up.
The sleeve is just like what, a condom?
Confused.
It goes over.
So it's a condom basically.
Kind of, yeah.
I'm confused.
Well, a sleeve...
Is it like a fucking dildo that you put your dick in?
Yes.
A strap on basically?
Without the strap.
Yeah.
So that's fucking weird.
Yes.
I take the sleeve off to get back up and then my regular dong felt so weird in my hand.
Like comically small compared to the toy that I kind of used to get in the meantime.
Wait, so he's basically using a strap on his girlfriend that was like twice his size is what it sounds like.
My girlfriend tried to reassure me that it is the toy, not me.
It's way too big.
But I still feel weird and we had to call it off and I decided to try it again sometime later.
Haven't seen her since.
I was thinking I should maybe get used to it by myself before using it with her.
Like using it as a flashlight or something.
What the fuck?
I'm not understanding the purpose of this fucking sleeve.
To make it bigger for her?
Right, that's the purpose.
He's basically a strap on.
So how does that make him feel any better?
She's basically saying you're too small, get something fucking humongous.
And then he screws it like a flashlight.
Weird.
Girlfriend supported the idea.
Of course she did.
We found it very funny that I needed to bang the monster junk a few times to take away its power and tame it.
I'm sure you did tame it.
However, since that incident, since that incident, this was four days ago, I haven't had any, any sex drive whatsoever.
This is highly unusual for me as I generally get dozens of hard on a day and I have a high libido.
So yeah, the stupid toy killed my libido.
Defeated again by artificial intelligence.
The shade beats man yet again.
Silicon beats man.
What was that?
Deep Blue 2000 beat the chess master yet again.
All righty, next one is by Naked Nuggets.
Naked Nuggets.
The names are sometimes funnier than the post.
This person puts.
Masturbated in my dorm room during the night.
Fapped in silence to avoid waking up my roommate.
Got really into it.
Sledged from keeping it simple to full on fucking my pillow like it was a person.
People are so extra when they do stuff.
It's just a look on your face of just disappointment.
Not disappointed, I'm just like, man, that's a lot of work just to me, just to get off.
Squeeze my shut even.
Squeezing what though?
You looking at it while you're doing it?
Imagine the pillow was the girl of my dreams.
Helen Mirren, 85 years old.
Pitcher the girl of my dreams grabbing my ass mid thrust.
What the fuck is happening?
With a pillow.
So I grabbed my own ass to capture the sleep.
Close enough, I guess.
Whatever gets you off, I suppose.
Approach the point of no return and let loose.
You hit that event horizon, huh?
Cue post-match clarity.
Realize I just came on my pillow.
Decided to use some tissues to thoroughly wipe my pillow before flipping the pillow to the opposite.
Throw that motherfucker in the wash.
What do you mean you use a fucking pillow?
At least in a dorm, I'm assuming.
Still, throw it somewhere in the wash.
Don't just lay your head back in there and get yourself pink-eyed.
Realize, let's see.
Decided to use tissues to thoroughly wipe my pillow before flipping the pillow to the opposite side and using it to continue sleeping.
I thought you were going to say continue jacking.
Do it again.
However, as soon as my head touched...
Were you touched too?
Was it crusty on the other side?
As soon as my head touched the pillow, I made eye contact with my roommate.
Oh, fuck.
Who was wide awake for who knows how long.
His traumatized...
I want you to move out tomorrow.
His traumatized expression exhibited the emotion I was feeling at that moment.
He probably like...
Just watched him just fucking me shit out of that pillow.
He didn't say a fucking word.
Just mouth drop like...
Like, no.
Too speechless to say shit.
What do you say to a man that just watched you jack off?
He just dropped.
It would have been funny to me if they had made it on cartridge.
He's like, oh no.
There's so much touch for that one moment.
Woke up this morning.
Roommate's bed was empty.
He fucking moved.
Unusual because it's Sunday on my side of the planet and my roommate never wakes up this early on weekends.
He had to go contemplate his life.
I think it's safe to assume that he's avoiding me just as much as I'm trying to avoid him right now.
In the meantime, I need to replace my crusty ass pillow.
So he fell asleep with it still, regardless.
All righty. Next one is by Wonder and Horror.
I am at this time. Right now I am.
I can just picture him sitting beside his desk like in a dorm room.
And then he's got earphones or something in so he's not really paying all that much attention.
They just like hears a loud like, ugh.
He looks over and he's like, what the fuck?
I thought he was sleeping.
That's what I'm saying. You don't know what the other dude was doing though.
I assume. I wouldn't be jacking off while he's awake.
He may have assumed that he was sleeping. He may have been really getting into it with the pillow and didn't even realize.
Really? It was like the date in the morning, the next day after.
Weird.
All right. So this next person puts,
Today I fucked up by telling an amputee to put both of his feet down on the floor while taking his blood pressure.
Damn, what the fuck?
You knocked the volume out of that motherfucker.
I did for a second, didn't I?
Yeah, because I couldn't hear you for a second.
So today I fucked up by telling an amputee to put both of his feet down on the floor while taking his blood pressure by telling an amputee.
Let's see. So I live in a sober living facility.
I'm assuming senior living facility.
No, there are sober houses. I knew a guy from work who had one.
They get the DUI or they get in trouble with the law.
I get what you're saying.
They got to all live together, keep each other straight.
Yeah. So I live in a sober living facility with a bunch of veterans and one who has lost his leg sitting beside me taking his blood pressure.
And I told him that he needs to put both of his feet on the floor.
A lot of people thought it was joking.
If you can find it, you go ahead.
I thought I was joking and I thought it was a very awful thing to say.
We were sitting around all taking our blood pressure.
But whenever I caught it and explained that it was an actual mistake, we all laughed about it.
That's a horrible writing.
But you know, he did his best.
He was probably drunk when he wrote.
You know, I put down the floor.
No, they really tried sober living homes.
Could you imagine being an alcoholic and having that temptation forever?
One drink and it just completely just fall off the rails.
It sucks.
Impulse control.
Look at me, a 400 pound whale.
I mean, he'll get across to me.
It's like to a killer whale compared to me.
My God dang blue whale.
It's a dolphin.
I know, but I didn't know.
I don't know what fucking noise whales make.
Smell.
See, mine's red bulls.
I'm addicted to them.
I'm addicted to that ass.
I can't get enough of it.
All right.
And we will finish off today's Reddit with some shower thoughts.
Shower thoughts.
I got a lot of those.
So most of my story stuff, which I never write down.
I fucking forget.
So the first one is posted by Bear Bear Bear.
All spelled different.
Bear?
Wait.
So it's a Bear Bear Bear.
So Bear Bear Bear.
I'm trying to find the middle one.
I know one one.
I don't know the middle one.
Bear.
So you know how to have them are spelled though, right?
Yeah.
B-A-R-E and then B-E-R-E.
B-E-A-R.
And then B-E-R-E.
B-E-O.
Bear Bear.
The meaning of the word.
I couldn't tell you, but.
So it's Bear Bear Bear Bear.
Bear Bear Bear.
What's the other one?
B-E-R.
It's B-E-A-R, which is the animal.
Yeah.
Then Bear, like to bear something or.
Oh, B-A-R-E.
Right.
I got those.
And then the last one is B-E-R-E.
B-E-R-E.
B-E-R-B-E-R?
It sounded like bear.
I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be Bear Bear Bear.
Weird.
Bear Bear Bear.
I think they only spelled it that way because think about how where is spelled.
W-E-R-E.
Yeah.
So.
All right.
This is their shower thought.
Maybe the thing is worse.
So it's Burr.
Burr Burr Burr.
Like one of them is Bear Bear.
Then it was Burr.
It has to be because where is also spelled with a W-E-R-E.
W-E-R-E.
Yeah.
Where?
So it's probably Bear.
Or is it still Bear?
Where?
Bear.
Maybe it's a werewolf.
We got a full moon.
It's a werewolf.
It has to be.
Then you can just send it right there.
That shit was fucking fascinating.
So this person puts.
We're told anything on the internet is there forever.
But when you need to find that one porn video from years ago, it's like nowhere to be found.
I was just about to cut you off.
I was like, oh yeah.
Come on.
I can't find that one video I saw seven years ago.
They thought the same thing.
My man.
The same head space.
Geniuses take a light.
Next one is by Goodmojo.
This person puts.
It's unfathomably easy to ruin your entire life.
Yeah, you can.
Like you take a piss outside one day in a school park, a schoolyard and you go for sex
with him forever.
You don't have to be in a schoolyard.
You can be downtown doing it.
I'm just saying like, you know, like that's the worst example of being a schoolyard.
A child sexism.
Yeah, because that's the worst.
That's what I'm saying.
The worst fucking thing you can be.
It's true.
Next one.
I was just taking a piss officer.
That little girl's face got in the way.
What do you say?
What do you know?
We're killing.
What do I do?
Officer, what do I do?
Next one is by Goodmojo.
Sorry, the next one's by, because that was the last one.
Next one is by Emel E.M.
This person puts.
Sweatpants were made for physical activity, but wearing them in public makes you seem
lazy.
I love, I love just walking around the dick just swinging so freely.
I like that.
I like these.
These are nice.
Next one is by 2made or 2mad316.
This person puts.
Most job interviews are harder than the job itself.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's weird.
Once you get the job, you're like, this is ass.
This is easy.
But trying to get it is impossible.
God dang, you're trying to get a fucking position to fly into space is what it feels like.
Yeah.
You have to make sure you prepare.
You got to give them all the HR answers.
You got to be a sane person for that window of time.
And then as soon as you get the job, it's like, fuck these motherfuckers.
Can't get rid of me now.
Next one is by Gibbeth Guess.
This person puts.
Sneezing while driving is really dangerous.
Yeah.
Not really.
Just take off your hand off to accelerate a little bit.
Just hold onto the fucking steering wheel steady.
I almost broke a rib while he was doing that.
It's not as dangerous as he thinks.
I guess the closing your eyes in the middle of...
Only for a split second.
Just prepare before that.
Think of those people that have multiple sneezes in a row though.
Or just fucking hit the brakes, honestly.
Just stopping them.
Next one is by a shit player.
This person puts.
You are one Google search away from changing your life.
Not really.
I guess that could be for the worse or the better.
I guess.
I don't know.
Google two girls, one cut.
There you go.
Oh, he means like that?
That changes your life.
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
Luckily, I've never actually seen it.
I've avoided it all these years.
And then it just shows up at your door one day.
Aren't they like both senators now?
I have no idea.
I'm just joking around.
Look, there's that one dude taking it in the ass in Congress.
Oh yeah, man.
That man was busy.
On his only family, wasn't it?
Yeah.
He like he wanted to step it up for that one from the school, the classroom.
He's like, oh, I can beat that.
Next one is hide the pickle champ.
I tried to.
In the walking dead universe, there's a there's a prostitution ring using zombies.
Oh, fucking gross.
The shower thought you didn't even know about.
Oh no.
Yeah, because like you have to imprint every every facet of life that we have in real life
into a fictional world.
And like, wow, the writers themselves don't really say anything, stuff like that.
If we thought in the lines of real world, they would that would probably be like some
nasty pornography in the fucking walking dead.
Yep.
Gross.
Next one is by booty clap.
This person puts Batman villains don't usually have any superpowers either.
Yeah, we all know that.
And they give you examples.
The Joker, Penguin, Two-Face, Mad Hatter, Harley Quinn, Scarecrow, Catwoman, Hugo Strange,
Black Mask, Riddler, Calendar Man, has powers.
He has the ability to survive an asshole and be still physically capable and not be a physically
crippled.
Then they put, hell, if I was Batman, I would have just broke his neck a long time ago.
He's still alive.
He can't move around, but he ain't gonna do nothing now.
He also put a lot of these folks don't have any powers either.
They're pretty much just people in costumes just like Batman.
The only real superpowered ones I can think of are Bane, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Mr.
Freeze and maybe Rosalou.
Oh yeah, the immortal.
Plus most of these you could argue are from steroids or scientific experiments gone wrong.
Or just some horrible genetic deformity.
Right.
That makes you look like a crocodile.
But they're not like actually, they're not born with these powers.
They're just...
Killer Croc was.
Killer Croc, yes.
That man just kept getting big.
Well, did you also notice, I never paid that much attention, but he also started getting
more and more like a croc.
Like he started looking more and more like one.
Yeah, in the Arkham series.
Yeah.
Apparently, canonically, it's that his disease has just gotten worse.
Yeah.
Because he was fucking huge in Arkham Knight.
He was like 15 feet tall.
Yeah.
All right.
Next one is by Flagstaff.
Actually, his heart was should have gave out a long time ago.
The organs don't grow with you.
Apparently his mind.
And he's fucking croaks.
You wouldn't know he's like in a wheelchair with like a fucking tank of oxygen.
Like, you found me again, Batman.
Face me.
And he can't even get up out of the bed.
That'd be Penguin eventually, though.
How is he?
He's chunky.
Yeah, but he was always, you know, he's like, he's always smoking those.
He's always cockney.
They are Batman.
Fuck.
Yeah.
That motherfucker's lived forever.
Look at Danny DeVito.
That's true.
Man, the mortal.
That is the penguin.
There you go.
Literally.
I love that man.
All right.
This person puts.
Strip clubs are the only businesses allowed to discriminate by sex, age and appearance
out of everything.
You come out smelling of ass.
Ain't no stripper going to fucking.
Yeah, you nasty mother fucker.
Well, I take that back.
If you live in Oklahoma City, Valleybrook, go there.
And never heard of it.
All right.
Next one is by Pee Pee on my doo doo.
I love that.
So when they type in my doo doo, I start seeing bad things, because now that I walks
in the subway, I find myself going againstosphate on the clinical side.
I stop saying that.
On the internet, men get unsolicited messages from fake women they wish were real.
While women get unsolicited messages from real men they wish were fake.
Yeah, men are freaks.
Men don't talk to a fucking AI.
Yeah.
You do like me?
Are you sure?
It doesn't look weird because it's bent sideways.
It's black and blue and silicon.
Okay. But that's all I got for Reddit today.
Anything else to add before we head out tonight?
Bert and Ernie are a healthy homosexual couple.
I don't care what anyone tells me.
Didn't they make that canon?
I don't know. I've been arguing with my coworker at work for years.
Like I tell you, Bert and Ernie, all they do is eat each other's ass.
I probably don't say it very tactfully.
It's like, we know what they do.
Oh, hey, Bert. Let's go on the show, Bert.
Okay, Ernie.
I always forget their names. I don't know who's who.
I was calling them Bernie.
Just call them Bernie.
Yeah, basically Bert and Ernie together.
Bernie.
Or what's the other way?
Ert?
That doesn't make sense.
Exactly.
It doesn't hit the same way as Bernie.
I wish I had the money, then I can get a wedding album made of Bert and Ernie's wedding with all the other Sesame Street characters and give it to my friend for her birthday.
That's me if I had money.
It wouldn't be some ridiculous.
I got a yacht and like 15 Lamborghinis.
I'd make a fucking fake photo album of Bert and Ernie's wedding just to make my friend mad.
And then I would put in the audience during the reception, I'd put it into SpongeBob because she can't stand SpongeBob.
As a guest?
Yeah.
He's like, ah, ah, ah.
That or I'd give her a $10,000 gift card with SpongeBob SquarePants on the gift card pic, a little photo.
I'd be like, yeah.
It's like you want to use it, don't you?
You do want to use it, don't you?
You can't get rid of it now.
There's 10 grand on there.
So every time she swipes it, she's got SpongeBob's face.
Maybe I can make a little fucking audio thing where every time she swipes, I can't do the SpongeBob thing.
But you know what I mean.
Just diabolical.
Yeah. You know that thing about like the dark night, like some men just want to watch the world burn.
That's me.
Well, we'll see you later.
We will see you guys on the next one.
I'm going to eat some ass.