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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noe.

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And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown

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movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.

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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.

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Let's go ahead and get into it.

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All right, guys, week's over, back to Cozy Knights.

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So we start with some news.

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We start with Comic Curious and Quirky, Ronald Liven's news stories from the very far back

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past, very far past.

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Ancient, I should say.

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Well, not ancient, but you know, 1830 is a long time ago.

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This one's from the Bathroom Chronicle and Weekly Gazette, 14 January, 1830.

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So apparently this guy, this young man, decided to take a bath off the pier of this port in

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Leith, Scotland.

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And it's January, so it's a little nippy, but he's like, I, you know, I got to get cleaned.

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And he gets mistaken for a seal he's shot at.

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He's not even that fat.

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I don't know.

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He's not even the same color as a seal.

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Was he fat and hairy?

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I have no idea.

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Maybe he was.

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He just took his shirt off.

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It was just fur underneath.

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Seal?

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Like, he took his shirt off.

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He was more clothed with his shirt on.

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So they shoot at him, but he escapes and no injuries.

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Hooray.

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At least he made it out.

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Yeah, just ran him ass naked through the cold Scotland land.

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Next one is from, say, my run 11 story or book, Windsor and Eden Express on 2nd January,

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1839.

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So this one's fucking weird.

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I probably shouldn't have said that.

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Now it's going to be demonetized the first god dang two minutes.

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Anyway, this bricklayer by the name of Bishop, he worked for this company called the Clay

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Cross Railway Works, right?

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He decided to play a practical joke.

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So he took a shovel full of lit coal and threw it into the back of a wagon that was full

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of gunpowder.

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And you can pretty much imagine what happened after that.

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It blew up.

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It blew up and it threw him 20 yards, ripped the clothes off his body and burned him severely

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So there you go.

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I don't understand the practical joke at all.

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That's what I was trying to figure.

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What is the practical joke?

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I don't know.

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Can you imagine his thought process?

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This is going to be the funniest shit that anyone's ever seen.

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Historically funny.

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And he just throws it in and just boom, blows up half the building.

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Well, that wasn't worth it.

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I don't know.

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People are weird.

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This next one actually came in from yesterday, I believe I read this in the Associated Press.

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This was crazy.

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It's in Manchester, New Hampshire.

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This woman falls into a dumpster while she's taking out trash and the dump truck comes

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in and they lift the dump truck and they throw the dumpster stuff into the contents of the

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back of the dump truck, right?

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Well, she was in there and the guy actually compacted the trash four times with her inside

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and she still survived.

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They saw that the neighbors heard her screaming and the guy, especially the truck driver,

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at worst fall because he can see there's a camera inside that he can see into the dump.

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So he's like, oh, well, there ain't nothing in there.

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Let me do this four times.

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My lucky charm.

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But hopefully she's okay.

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But I mean, you don't hear someone screaming their lungs out?

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I guess it would be kind of loud.

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I could have sworn I've heard somebody, something else like that too before.

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That's happened before.

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It might not be common, but it's happened.

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Yeah.

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Only there was one where it was actually a trash compactor where somebody got stuck in

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one of those.

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How did anything come back from those?

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Yeah, I don't think they survived.

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Those are like very strong.

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Yeah.

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It was weird because even after four compacts, she was able to get up and say stuff, but

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she wasn't being coherent.

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So I guess she got crushed a little bit.

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I hope not.

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You cap his dog shit.

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Syringes, condoms, baby diapers.

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I mean, all sorts of everything.

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Everything trash that you can think of.

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Headband, all liquidy juice, like bodies and whatnot.

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People trying to get rid of.

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That's what they probably thought.

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That's another body somebody's getting rid of.

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Let me hit the compactor.

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All right.

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This next one is going to make you mad.

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It's from Screen Rant, February 2nd, 2024.

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It involves a question and what his origin was during the New 52 series of comic books.

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He was part of something called the Trinity of Sin.

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The question's original origin in this universe, the New 52, was he was actually a narcissist

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from the Greek mythology.

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He had his face wiped due to his sin of vanity.

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That is the stupidest thing I have ever fucking heard.

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And then he had two partners in the Trinity of Sin.

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One was Pandora, the woman who unleashed evil on earth.

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And his third partner, your favorite, the Phantom Stranger.

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He used to be Judas Escheracht.

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Judas himself betrayed Jesus, is the Phantom Stranger.

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And when did this happen?

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The New 52.

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Back in the day.

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Oh my God.

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It would make you mad.

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Yeah.

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I mean, the whole thing with the Phantom Stranger, like the question and who was the other one

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again?

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Pandora.

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Pandora.

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Those are just stupid to begin with.

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But Phantom Stranger, number one, is extremely powerful.

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Maybe Judas is too.

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That part makes sense.

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Due to the fact that the Phantom Stranger existed before Christ.

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I don't know, man.

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I don't know.

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That didn't make the New 52.

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You gotta ask Jeff Johns.

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Fuck you, Jeff Johns.

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I think.

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If not, we're sorry.

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All right.

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So that is it.

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Fucking with cosmic entities in DC.

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I find it funny that you're so vain that they wiped your face.

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That makes no sense.

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You're the vainest man that's ever lived.

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And he's just making a blank face for the rest of his life.

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That's stupid, though, because wasn't Montoya, wasn't she the question, too?

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Yeah, she was one of them.

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So how the fuck does that make sense?

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I don't know.

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New 52.

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That's gonna be my answer now for anything that I can't explain right.

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Yeah, well, New 52.

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Like if I'm writing stories right, like how does that?

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That doesn't make any sense.

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New 52.

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New 52.

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No wonder everybody hated it.

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I mean, I quit reading before any of this shit.

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They depowered my favorite character out of all of them, the Spectre.

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So they turned him into a little wimp, a little limp rag.

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So New 52.

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Pretty much.

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All right.

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So this is not a news story.

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So but it's kind of in limbo because it was newsworthy.

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But I saw this on X, not the porn site, the Twitter thing.

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I don't know why the fuck.

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I don't understand the name for it.

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Just say what is it?

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I'm gonna say Twitter.

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Just say Twix the way everybody else does now.

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Twix?

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Twitter?

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What am I eating?

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Twix candy?

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Do they own the thing now?

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I don't know.

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By the way, X is a fucking wild west.

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Yes, it is.

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Like you will see some of those horrific shit on there and you don't even want to.

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Yeah.

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I saw I was scrolling through stuff, right?

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I'm gonna have to just I might just have to scroll to all of my following stuff.

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Yeah.

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Because the other stuff is horrendous.

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And one was like, what's the worst movie you can't get through?

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And I just barely saw the image and zoomed past it.

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It's some dude hanging from wires.

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And like they had to cut his chest open and they had just held his fucking skin out so

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his organs just peel out.

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I'm like, what the fuck are y'all watching?

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It's also really annoying to everybody trying to get engagement on Twitter because they

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keep posting fucking questions.

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They'll post random stuff trying to get like underneath the comments that had nothing to

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do with the actual content.

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So annoying.

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Although I did put one on X recently today.

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I'm like, hey McDonald's, why isn't it called the Big Big Mac?

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It's a perfect name instead of the double Big Mac called the Big Big Mac.

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That's what me and my cousin call it.

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Makes more sense.

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So this is a story I saw next today.

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Someone named Joyce Carol Vincent.

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Sounds like you're trying to have a New York accent.

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This is actually a haunting story.

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She was found dead three years after she died in her apartment.

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With the TV still on.

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They didn't cut her off from power?

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That's the thing.

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That's the reason for the story was like she died in December 2003 at 38.

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They found her January 2006 and because of automatic bill payments from her account and

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because of like debt forgiveness, there was a way for it to just keep cycling through.

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They had to commit $2,400 or pounds in like debt before the Metropolitan Housing Trust

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went to her house to see what was going on.

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And they found her dead body.

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I bet you the TV was like, well, look at that TV three years.

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TV was on for three years, never broke.

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It's worse because she was estranged from her family and she was distant from her friends

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at the time.

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Right.

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Because of some stuff in her life.

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So no one checked on her for three years.

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That's sad.

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I will now make sure I have committed relationships with my friends and family.

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They know a goddamn way you're going to find my body 15 years from now.

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That is crazy.

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It was sad.

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Yeah.

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I was like, man, that sucks.

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Like it's just mostly just sad.

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Very.

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Yeah.

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You just die alone and then no one even cares for three years.

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Damn.

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This is America.

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It's actually London.

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But I would say this is America like to Donald club.

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This is my area.

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All right.

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So that's it for news.

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Let's move on to the cozy kitchen and I'll give you a nice recipe for you guys.

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Oh yeah.

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I got to give you a story for us, a food story.

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So there's this brandy called the Williams pear flavored clear brandy.

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And inside every bottle is a full pear.

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And if you wondered how they get it in there, they basically they surround a blossom with

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glass.

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They cut around, they fill it with air continuously, I guess.

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They cut other buds and blossoms around it so it gets all the nutrients and it just grows

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with the glass hanging off of it until it matures.

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Then they take the whole thing off.

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They fill it with brandy, bottle it up and they give you the new bite and it's your job

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to get it out once you finish the bottle.

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Although I will say brandy is one of those kind of alcohols.

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Oh, really?

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I don't really drink alcohol.

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I have no idea.

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I would just buy it for the novelty of a pear inside.

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Buying it for novelty is fine.

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Buying it to drink.

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Oh, I don't know how people drink brandy.

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Maybe it's an acquired taste.

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I can drink Jaeger.

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Jaeger.

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00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,560
What is that one?

261
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,400
Pat's Blue something?

262
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,520
Pat's Blue Ribbon from South.

263
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,520
It's real, too.

264
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,520
I know.

265
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,520
It's a beer.

266
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,240
They should pick that one for whatever reason.

267
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,240
Because it's cheap.

268
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,400
They just trashed the shit out of me.

269
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,920
All right, so I'll give you guys a recipe now.

270
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:44,920
Oh, yeah, we're not getting sponsored by Williams Pear Shaves or Pear Flavored Brandy.

271
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,000
But if you guys want to send us some bottles, please.

272
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,000
That would be much appreciated.

273
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,920
I wonder how much they are.

274
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,400
They probably not expensive expensive.

275
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,360
They probably have pretty penny.

276
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,360
Probably.

277
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,280
I wouldn't doubt it anyway.

278
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,720
So we got this recipe from Women's World.

279
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,600
Don't ask me questions why.

280
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,760
I got the magazine so I can read the little mysteries inside.

281
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,760
And I fell in love with the food stuff.

282
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:15,440
So I got a recipe for you guys from Women's World called the Beer Kent's Chicken.

283
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,560
Let's have a look.

284
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:23,640
So you need for this two lemons, one fourth cup olive oil, one fourth cup chopped fresh

285
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:30,520
oregano, one teaspoon of paprika, half a teaspoon of garlic powder, half a teaspoon of onion

286
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,480
powder, one four to five pound chicken.

287
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,480
God dang.

288
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,480
It's a big boy.

289
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:36,480
Or girl, I guess.

290
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,480
You don't eat roosters.

291
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,280
I don't know how many people eat roosters, have you?

292
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,280
Nobody really does.

293
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,600
Huh, weird.

294
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:50,280
Half a tablespoon of salt, one fourth tablespoon of pepper and one 12 ounce can of beer.

295
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,760
I guess your choice.

296
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,400
Perhaps blue ribbon all the way.

297
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,280
So you prepare the grill from a medium high direct heat cooking.

298
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,880
What does that mean?

299
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,320
Direct heat means directly over the fire.

300
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,320
You just put the chicken on there?

301
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,320
Yeah.

302
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,320
Well, we're on the bars.

303
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,040
Where what are you cooking it on is the question.

304
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,040
A grill, a pan.

305
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,040
I mean, see prepare grill all the grill.

306
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,040
Yeah, you're right.

307
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,040
It's a grill.

308
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,040
I was thinking oven for some reason.

309
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,040
You just throw it in the oven.

310
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,040
You know, my cousin put a pizza in the oven with nothing underneath.

311
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:23,440
Explain why it was melting the bottom.

312
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,960
Like it was underneath and like it started ruining the bottom of his oven.

313
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:28,960
There was no rack even?

314
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,960
There was nothing.

315
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:30,960
He just threw it.

316
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960
He just put it in the oven itself?

317
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:32,960
Yeah.

318
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:33,960
You're supposed to at least have a rack.

319
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:34,960
No, he had nothing.

320
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
He just threw it in there.

321
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:36,960
You don't have to have a pan, but you have to have a rack.

322
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:41,360
I don't know what he did, but he says like it keeps melting his pizza and it falls on

323
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,800
the bottom of the rack or through the rack.

324
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,800
I don't know what the fuck he's doing.

325
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,440
He's not setting the oven on the air torches even.

326
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,440
He's fucking up his pizza.

327
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,440
He's going to burn his house down.

328
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:56,520
The fact that he has a house before I do, it scares me.

329
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,080
Well, his mom bought the house for him.

330
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,640
Oh, so you gave him your reason.

331
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,680
But I mean, he's not house ready at all.

332
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:06,680
Burn that place down.

333
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,680
Watch one day on the news.

334
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,680
All right.

335
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,400
So prepare a grill for medium high direct heat cooking.

336
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:19,600
Grate half a tablespoon of zest and squeeze three, no, half a teaspoon of zest and three

337
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,200
tablespoons of juice from lemons in bowl.

338
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,880
Mix oil, oregano, spices, zest and juice.

339
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,680
Rub outside of chicken with mixture.

340
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,960
Season with salt and pepper.

341
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,640
Pour out half a beer.

342
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,640
Place can in high sized, high sided roasting pan.

343
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,600
Carefully lower chicken cavity over can or wrench legs to stabilize.

344
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,600
That's beer chicken?

345
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:39,600
Yeah.

346
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,600
I used to, you guys do that with women.

347
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:47,440
I used to prepare, wrench legs for a stabilize.

348
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,840
Place pan on grill cover.

349
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:53,680
Cook until meat thermometer.

350
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,080
Insert jump there.

351
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,440
Insert it into the thickest part of the thigh.

352
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:05,080
You can tell I've been, I've been thirsty for a little bit because I find it hilarious.

353
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:08,560
You guys must think I'm high all the time the way I talk because I ramble so much.

354
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,100
It's just my nature.

355
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,600
So place pan on grill cover.

356
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,160
Cook until meat thermometer.

357
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,440
Insert it into the thickest part of the thigh away from bone registers.

358
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:20,040
145 degrees, about one and a half hours.

359
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,320
Let's say about 20 minutes before carving.

360
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,880
You got yourself a serving of six.

361
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:24,880
Active time 10 minutes.

362
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,400
Total time two hours plus grill prep time.

363
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,800
Calories of 514.

364
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,440
Protein 49 grams.

365
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:31,440
Fat 34 grams.

366
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,040
8 grams saturated.

367
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,400
Cholesterol 158 milligrams.

368
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,400
Carbs one gram.

369
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,320
Sodium 342 milligrams.

370
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,320
Fiber zero grams.

371
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,160
Damn, it's gonna just sit in your gut.

372
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,160
And sugar zero grams.

373
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,160
Enjoy that.

374
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,160
It's just a stick.

375
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,000
Oh yeah, there's another story I wanted to say.

376
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,200
Now we're coming out of the kitchen and it was gonna be part of the meal and I forgot

377
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,200
because I wasn't sure.

378
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,880
Because it's a little bit depressing.

379
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,680
But you know, I'm trying to find the right word for it, right?

380
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,480
And I used to say I was a refined pervert.

381
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,240
But that meant that I was so good at being a pervert.

382
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,960
I had it at peak level.

383
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,400
So I didn't, so I'm a, I'm a.

384
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,880
You said dignified.

385
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,120
Dignified is the word I should be sticking with because I keep saying they're changing

386
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,920
but they're not, the words are different meanings.

387
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,920
They're different, yes.

388
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,680
So I'm a dignified pervert.

389
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:22,160
And I'm not into really specific types of genres, right?

390
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,160
I'm more into like the stars.

391
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,160
Like if I like a girl, right?

392
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:30,120
Or a woman, then I'm like oh that's the greatest superstar I've ever seen in my life.

393
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:35,000
And when I'm growing up, one of my favorite adult stars, and I've actually never seen

394
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,680
her like, I didn't really see her.

395
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,680
So I never liked her actual like sex scenes.

396
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,200
What I saw her in was in naughty amateur home videos on Playboy TV.

397
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,760
And she was the host.

398
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:49,640
And her personality was so genuine and cheerful and bubbly.

399
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:54,000
Like I just became a fan without ever actually seeing her do anything sexual.

400
00:16:54,000 --> 00:17:00,840
And a couple days ago, well last week, January 24th, I saw the news that she had died.

401
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,840
Really?

402
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,840
She was 43.

403
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:03,840
Jessie J.

404
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,280
Oh, that's like Jane Doe?

405
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,280
Yeah.

406
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,280
She probably lives in Oklahoma.

407
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,280
Yeah, guess where she died?

408
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,280
In Moore?

409
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,280
Moore, Oklahoma.

410
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,280
No, she lived down there.

411
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,280
Oh no.

412
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,280
Yeah, have you met her?

413
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,280
Did you meet her?

414
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,000
If you met her before I did, before she died, I'm gonna be real mad at you.

415
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,720
But yeah, she's like, I saw like it just like, cause I was scrolling through Instagram, right?

416
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,960
And so this guy was like, rest in peace, Jessie J. And I'm like, you better be fucking joking,

417
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,960
sir.

418
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:27,960
Yeah.

419
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,280
And I go on Google, and she owned, she owned deed with her boyfriend.

420
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,280
Yep.

421
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,280
In Moore, Oklahoma.

422
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,280
Yeah, I know.

423
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,280
Fuck.

424
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,280
I've actually met her.

425
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,280
Really?

426
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,280
Is she nice?

427
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,280
Yeah.

428
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,280
Normal middle-aged woman.

429
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,280
Is she tall?

430
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,280
Why'd you meet her?

431
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,920
Well, that would tell you what I do for a living, so.

432
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:45,920
You'll tell me later that.

433
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:50,320
But man, it's, it's unfortunate that she died.

434
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,640
She was so young.

435
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,880
43 is not that old.

436
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,600
No, she was a nice person though.

437
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,240
Every time I'd seen her.

438
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,240
That's nice.

439
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,920
Does she look like she did drugs?

440
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:04,080
Can you really tell nowadays, honestly?

441
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,560
It's kind of hard to tell sometimes.

442
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,240
Well, unless they're true crackheads.

443
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,240
But you can tell.

444
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,240
That's true.

445
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,560
Yeah, but man, can I tell you, actually that was going to be the main story today, was

446
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,920
about that type of lifestyle.

447
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:15,920
Yeah.

448
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:24,560
So, oh yeah, like a moment of silence for Jessie J. So as you know, I work at the flea

449
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,680
market sometimes with my aunt, help her out on the weekends.

450
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,280
And it's quite the rockest place to be.

451
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,080
There'll be drunk fights there.

452
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,960
I told you the story, but I don't think I told it on.

453
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,960
Did I tell it on here?

454
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:37,960
Which one?

455
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:43,320
About the fight that broke out that my mom got video of?

456
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,320
I don't think so.

457
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,320
I didn't tell it on here.

458
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,320
No.

459
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,320
So yeah, so this fight breaks out.

460
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,040
The one day that I'm not there, because I was at another place that my aunt wanted me

461
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,480
to check out to take care of.

462
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,880
And my mom goes, she never goes when I'm there, but she goes the day that I'm not there.

463
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,960
And there's this huge fight that she recorded on her phone.

464
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,840
And it was so bad that when the security guard got there, he pepper sprayed anybody in the

465
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:05,840
face.

466
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,400
Like he just started pepper spraying everybody.

467
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,680
You can see me go.

468
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:16,720
What makes the story so next level twist is that he had to pepper spray the managers of

469
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,080
the whole flea market in the face, his wife.

470
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:26,920
The security guard pepper sprayed the manager's wife's face during the whole debacle.

471
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,920
All my aunt's cowboy boots and stuff got knocked to the floor.

472
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,320
You can see it in the angle.

473
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:35,040
They were like all like 50 boots on the floor and people just getting thrown left and right

474
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:40,200
and people coughing and drooling and like eyes just ruined.

475
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,960
And then there's the manager's, no, the manager's wife getting pepper sprayed in the face.

476
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:48,400
Like, uh oh, I bet she's not getting hired next week.

477
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,320
I don't know if the security guard is like on an appointment basis or because I've never

478
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,280
seen like the same one consistently.

479
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,720
There was one with glasses that got his ass beat and he never showed up again.

480
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:00,720
I feel bad for him.

481
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,680
Like, okay, how am I supposed to drive home without my glasses?

482
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,160
My glass like from Adam Sandler and uncut jazz.

483
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,200
My glasses, my glasses.

484
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,200
I feel so bad for him.

485
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,200
They beat his ass.

486
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,200
It was his old man, right?

487
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,200
Like in the 60s.

488
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,200
Yeah, beat the hell out of him and took it and broke his glasses.

489
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,200
How am I going to drive home?

490
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,200
My glasses.

491
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,200
Yeah, people are mean.

492
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,880
I was going to say it's the South side.

493
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,040
So, you know, everybody gets into a group around people fighting too.

494
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,040
Yeah.

495
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,640
And then they get involved and don't mean to.

496
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,640
That's why they got pepper spray.

497
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,640
Yeah.

498
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,240
I mean, look at them get shot.

499
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,840
But I guess the security guards, I guess they're at least a night competent enough.

500
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:35,840
Now start blasting.

501
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,840
No, they're probably not armed security.

502
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:38,840
No, they are.

503
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,840
Yeah.

504
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,160
Half of them like just fucking racked with like 50 guns.

505
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960
Oh, I would have started spraying them.

506
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,680
No, I think the reason is because they know they would be liable because they get people

507
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:54,280
get they get patted down at the front of the store, the flea market.

508
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,280
Oh my God.

509
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,760
Is that bad?

510
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,760
It's that place.

511
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,880
That's why I don't take a piss after six o'clock in the bathroom.

512
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,880
I got to fight for my life to get out.

513
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,680
You got to be patted down to count everything.

514
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,720
Yeah, that's how bad it is sometimes.

515
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,080
It's more for safety precautions.

516
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,560
You just never know.

517
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,600
It's almost dystopia though.

518
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:14,600
Not really.

519
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,000
I mean, like, at least there's like security at the front of the place, you know.

520
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
I could see if they had like metal detectors.

521
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Yeah, they don't.

522
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000
I don't want no dude touching me.

523
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:27,560
Hey man, once they grab your dick, it's whatever now.

524
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,560
You get used to the protocol.

525
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,960
No, but just take a swing and go ahead.

526
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,480
Anyway, so that happened.

527
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:41,680
But this is that was not the story that I that one's like more of a like a taste or

528
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:42,680
like an appetizer.

529
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,600
The real story that happened last week.

530
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,120
So there's a supermarket right next to the flea market that me and my cousin go to after

531
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,840
we finish work there to pick up some stuff.

532
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,040
It's like catered toward Hispanic people and they don't have like, you know, they don't

533
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,680
have they don't have like cactus pears at that Walmart.

534
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,720
If you never had a cactus pear, you're missing out on life.

535
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:06,520
Just remember, as we found out from Reddit, don't eat too many cactus pears.

536
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:07,520
Did we?

537
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,600
That was plums or some shit.

538
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,200
Oh, it was cactus pear.

539
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,200
I eat like 15.

540
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,200
I'm fine.

541
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,880
They got a weak stomach.

542
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,880
So we so I I'm there, right?

543
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,080
I was there all day and I didn't go to the bathroom because like I guess I got the trucker's

544
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,080
bladder now.

545
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,200
I'm accustomed not to go to the bathroom until we get to the supermarket.

546
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,520
And I had to go.

547
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,880
I had to go and I go to the door.

548
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,320
It's a unisex bathroom, one room.

549
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,800
And I pull I push on it.

550
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:39,800
There's no door on there.

551
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,920
There's no there's no door now, by the way, on the inside.

552
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:52,200
Just lock it and then you unlock it and you use the lock to pull out.

553
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,600
So I push on the door and it doesn't budge.

554
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,600
Right.

555
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:56,600
This girl's like occupied.

556
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,600
My bad.

557
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,600
I leave.

558
00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,600
I shop for 20 minutes.

559
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,600
I go back.

560
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:01,600
Right.

561
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,600
Push and occupied.

562
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,600
All right.

563
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:04,600
She's taking the shit of shits.

564
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,760
So I'm like, I can't wait anymore.

565
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,760
Let's just go.

566
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:11,080
And we go to the we get to the the the checkout and you can still see like you can't see the

567
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,600
door, but you can see the wall.

568
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,240
And if you someone comes out, you know they came out of the bathroom.

569
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240
Right.

570
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,280
They don't just come out of the wall.

571
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,280
You know, was the bathroom.

572
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,280
Right.

573
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,520
So my cousin's like, oh, the guys get out of the bathroom.

574
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,200
I look over and there's some good guy in a blue jacket while running out.

575
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,920
And I'm like, fuck, it's a guy that a high pitched voice.

576
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,400
So I get my cousin to my stuff and I go to the bathroom and I put and this girl's like

577
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,220
occupied.

578
00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:35,400
And I'm like, wait a minute.

579
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,400
This guy just came out of the bathroom.

580
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,400
Yeah.

581
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,320
Who are you still in the bathroom?

582
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,000
There was not enough time to see anyone else come in.

583
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Yeah.

584
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Like it was like that second.

585
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,320
And someone that guy's coming out the bathroom.

586
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,200
I ran to the bathroom when I got there.

587
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,200
It was locked.

588
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,120
And some woman said I was still occupied.

589
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:53,920
And so I go back and I'm like, I think there's people fucking in that bathroom.

590
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,320
And my cousin's like, you sure?

591
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:01,640
And I kid you not, this homeless woman came out of the bathroom holding blankets and pillows.

592
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,960
She was turning tricks in the bathroom.

593
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:08,600
Yeah, I know.

594
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,120
She was just getting busy in that bathroom.

595
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:15,840
I walk in and I'm like, you can smell the cooch.

596
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,840
Because I still had to piss.

597
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,760
Like I'm not going to put my dick on that toilet ever again.

598
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,120
You don't want herpes?

599
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:24,120
Hell not.

600
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,120
I made sure not to.

601
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,480
I washed my hands four times.

602
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,400
I checked, I threw my trash in the trash bin, right?

603
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,120
I looked, there's a condom in here.

604
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,280
Let me check.

605
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:37,120
And like that guy knew that I knew, because when I came out of the bathroom, he was standing

606
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,720
on the edge of the aisle where he had some stuff in his hand, right?

607
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,120
And he saw me and looked dead at him.

608
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,480
He's like, I better go buy some more stuff.

609
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,040
He ran back into the back of the aisle.

610
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,560
Like, I know you fucked it there.

611
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,840
Twenty fucking minutes you wasted.

612
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,880
I had to fucking piss so bad.

613
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,800
But man, she was turning tricks in a supermarket bathroom.

614
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,600
That bathroom is filthy all the time.

615
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,200
It is wet all the time.

616
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,680
The floor is always wet.

617
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,160
Wet and sticky.

618
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,160
Wet and sticky.

619
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,160
And it's always by the fucking urinal.

620
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:10,640
Well, there's no urinal, the toilet, because it's a unisex.

621
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,640
I would never put my ass on the toilet.

622
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,680
But man, if you got to go, you get...

623
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,680
So I just had to piss and you don't have to put any of your body, you don't have to touch

624
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,960
anything in the toilet and you have to piss.

625
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:29,040
I could be pressed against the wall and I could piss into the toilet from a foot away.

626
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,720
But it was so surreal because she was like, they're just making like $15, $20.

627
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,440
I wonder if she made it, but she paid by, is she charged by the minute or by the hour?

628
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,440
Or by the bust?

629
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,240
Did she charge by the bust?

630
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,240
$100 a bust?

631
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,600
$25 you get the nut.

632
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,400
He's like, it's on.

633
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:47,960
How desperate of a man you are.

634
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,000
Like I'm a filthy, like a dignified pervert, right?

635
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:58,440
But I would never go to a public restroom with a homeless woman.

636
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,360
Nothing against her being homeless, but that's just disgusting.

637
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,680
You don't fuck on a toilet floor.

638
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:08,120
It's like Britney Spears walking on a bathroom in a gas station barefoot.

639
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,360
You remember back in the day?

640
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,360
Sorry Britney Spears.

641
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:14,480
Yeah, that, oh my God, that's disgusting.

642
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,320
Like for me, I don't ever think you should have to pay for it.

643
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:23,800
Like, well I want to be a porn star, so I kind of like, I mean as in like you paying

644
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,800
for it.

645
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,800
What if I'm the star?

646
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,600
That'd be you getting paid.

647
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,160
But I do it for free.

648
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,040
I'm a pro bono porn star.

649
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,760
But then still are you paying for it?

650
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,760
I guess not.

651
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,760
Well, this is my own production.

652
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,480
What would my company name be?

653
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,400
What was my, oh yeah, Papi Lulce was my porn star name.

654
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,040
If I ever fell in life and everything else, you can guarantee you'll see my dick some.

655
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,240
Be my last option.

656
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,240
Be like Adam 22.

657
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,760
Be like fuck it, Zach and Mary make up porn.

658
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,920
I was like I got no other options.

659
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,080
You know, but yeah, you're right.

660
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,920
Like it's like ugh.

661
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,160
You shouldn't have to pay for it.

662
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:08,240
Like most dudes, like not most dudes, this guy was like how much?

663
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:12,760
Like at least go get yourself an escort and shit.

664
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,760
My high quality kind?

665
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:14,760
There's somebody that's clean.

666
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,360
Yeah, we don't even know what.

667
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,360
This woman was rough.

668
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:22,040
Like I don't like making fun of people's appearance.

669
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,040
This woman was a man.

670
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,920
Like she looked like a dude with like a shaved head.

671
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,760
She looked like she had a dick bigger than mine.

672
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:35,960
Like she looked like she could beat my ass if I looked at her funny.

673
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,200
She was a tomboy is what I'm saying.

674
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,240
Try to be nice about it, but man.

675
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,480
Well, tomboy is not an offensive word.

676
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,320
I guess not, but I don't want to be offensive.

677
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,040
Now I could think of a bunch of offensive words that would get us banned in a heart

678
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,720
that you bet I'm not going to.

679
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:53,960
But man, I mean like for him to, you know, with her, right?

680
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,960
Yeah.

681
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:55,960
If she's a lesbian, right?

682
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:56,960
She's doing it for the money.

683
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:57,960
She's making that cheddar.

684
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:58,960
Yeah, but she's.

685
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,960
But for him, you know.

686
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:09,960
Okay, that'd be like saying that you're not gay, but you're just doing it for the money.

687
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:10,960
Like the gay for pay thing?

688
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:11,960
Yeah.

689
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,760
I'd be like, sure.

690
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:15,760
Whatever you say, right?

691
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,760
That's what I'm saying.

692
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,120
I can see what you mean.

693
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,360
Yeah, but I mean like you're gay.

694
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,640
At least you're bi.

695
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,640
There's not enough money.

696
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,120
They can be like, I'll give you two grand to suck this dick.

697
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,640
I don't want any money.

698
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,640
Not do it free.

699
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,640
Money?

700
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:40,120
I don't need that.

701
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,800
All I need is dick in my mouth.

702
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,520
Whatever we got really off course.

703
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,520
And I don't know.

704
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:48,520
Let me tell you.

705
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:54,360
Let me make sure people know that I am respectful and courteous to all people of all manners

706
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,840
of life.

707
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,320
Even if I make jokes, it's because it's my comedian nature to be funny.

708
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,320
But I'm respectful.

709
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,240
If you, whatever your pronouns are, whatever your gender is, I respect all of it.

710
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,120
But man, if I make fun of something, it's because it's funny to me.

711
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,120
We all know.

712
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,120
I'm Dave Chappelle.

713
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,760
We all know that you're Dave Chappelle on the inside of time.

714
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,680
But I never mean it out of a malicious way, you know?

715
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,360
I'm just trying to lighten, you know, life is a...

716
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,000
Basically here's the thing.

717
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000
You can't give offense.

718
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
You can only take it.

719
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,000
What about dick?

720
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,000
I mean, I guess you could take that too.

721
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,000
I can't give a dick.

722
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,000
I can't take dick, can I?

723
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,600
I don't know what I'm going on about.

724
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:42,040
I'm just saying like as offensive as I can be, it's always from a good place.

725
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:47,240
I'm just saying this woman, where you shouldn't, you know, she looked like a guy, okay?

726
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,240
How do you know it wasn't?

727
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,240
I guess that's a good point.

728
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,160
Maybe it was a guy.

729
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,160
That's true.

730
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,160
You're right, actually.

731
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,160
It could have been the dude.

732
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,680
In this world, you never know no more.

733
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:58,680
And he just wore that.

734
00:29:58,680 --> 00:29:59,680
Oh, stop making assumptions.

735
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:00,680
That is true.

736
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,680
It could have been the dude.

737
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,680
And he could have just wore that dude, that John's asshole out.

738
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,960
And the guy comes out checking his ass, oh damn, my booty.

739
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:14,360
Because in my mind, the hooker is the one doing the banging instead of the other, the

740
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,360
jumping.

741
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,000
If it was a dude, John.

742
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
That is true.

743
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000
It could have been a guy.

744
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Could have, could have.

745
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,320
Well, you know, still don't fuck on the bathroom floor.

746
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,320
Nasty.

747
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,320
Very, very, very.

748
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,200
I mean, Bucky's I could say, but a Bucky.

749
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,200
It's clean.

750
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,400
Oh yeah, it is pretty clean there and fucking huge.

751
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,400
Yeah.

752
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,880
It's like a goddamn Turkish bathhouse in there.

753
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:40,880
Jesus Christ.

754
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:45,360
The stalls are all nice, closed in.

755
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:50,080
Yeah, but that really, that really upset me because like you expect certain things in

756
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,080
a society.

757
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,080
A certain level of dignity.

758
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,080
Yeah.

759
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,360
Not to fucking a bathroom.

760
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,000
Not to walk into the bathroom at a flea market and see an ass sticking out of the bottom

761
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:02,360
of the stall because you're passed out from being drunk, you fucking alcoholic.

762
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,360
But you see it anyway.

763
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:10,800
I've seen more ass than dick at a flea market than I care to mention.

764
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,160
Anyway that's it for Cozy Nights.

765
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,160
It's all ruined.

766
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,080
Tune in next week for more stories.

767
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,080
All right.

768
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:17,440
What you got for Urban Dictionary?

769
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,720
Let's have a look.

770
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,640
Get my phone out.

771
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,000
Go to the app.

772
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,000
Here we are.

773
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,480
Go to, go to the stuff that I've saved.

774
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,480
Oh God.

775
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,480
All right.

776
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:33,480
Let's get started.

777
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,720
We got Jabba Jockin.

778
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,480
That is when to have mad pool with others like Jabba the Hut.

779
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,800
I guess it's Jabba Jockin.

780
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,760
Where you don't even have to do anything but sit there, be a boss and get all one's needs

781
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,720
and wants met.

782
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,320
So you're so awesome that you just lay there and just get laid.

783
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:51,320
I don't know.

784
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,280
I've never seen that in life, but okay.

785
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,280
Hey boss.

786
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,280
Hey, how's it going boss?

787
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,280
Just liked our tab.

788
00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:03,640
The next one is called a fuck bird, which sounds brutal by the way.

789
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:07,440
Is when you have engaged in sex for a long session and you're very sore.

790
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,880
After a point, like if it's not pleasurable, why are you going for a record?

791
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,360
Trying to break a record?

792
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,840
Like if your dick starts chafing.

793
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:14,840
Oh God.

794
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,200
We just gotta finish this.

795
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
It's not, it won't be done.

796
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,200
She's been dry for hours.

797
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,200
Right.

798
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,200
Yeah.

799
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,200
She's like, you're both exhausted and bored.

800
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,760
You're like, you got to chub at least.

801
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,160
It's not even in there anymore.

802
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,480
You squeeze them against your belly button.

803
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,840
Next one is a blank assortive Rex.

804
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,320
When you go one or more days of hounding girls without getting sex.

805
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,240
I would say at that point, stop harassing them.

806
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,240
Yeah.

807
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,680
If they said no for the beginning, just fucking move on.

808
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:43,680
Try hard.

809
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,160
That's all it is.

810
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,040
A potential rapist is all that is.

811
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,040
No means no.

812
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:54,640
Unless you're in a fucking NCN or whatever bullshit it's called.

813
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,640
The NC, what is it?

814
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:57,640
NCN or CNC?

815
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:58,640
Oh God.

816
00:32:58,640 --> 00:32:59,640
Yeah.

817
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,480
Or God, we made that joke a long time ago.

818
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:10,280
Was it, I think Carrington maybe where he's like, I damn it.

819
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,040
I can't remember what comedian it was, but they had a joke, right?

820
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,640
Where it's like, if they get the bad reading in the courtroom where.

821
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:23,400
Oh, that was a, um, I know what it is.

822
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,160
Remember yes, bill burr.

823
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,160
Yeah.

824
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,160
But it like where it's like the worries.

825
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,480
No, stop it.

826
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:30,480
No.

827
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:31,480
Oh, like, yeah.

828
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,480
Like in a lovingly.

829
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:33,480
And then they go into the corner.

830
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,480
She said, no, stop it.

831
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,240
She didn't say it like that.

832
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,000
She didn't say it like that.

833
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,440
I guess a subtext would be the word for it.

834
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,040
Uh, like the, the.

835
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,040
Or a tone.

836
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,040
The tone.

837
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,000
You don't get tone from letters.

838
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,000
Yeah.

839
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,280
From a fucking email or anything.

840
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,400
Twitter has proven that you don't get, you don't get the sarcasm.

841
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,400
You get nothing.

842
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:58,400
Yeah.

843
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,640
You gotta be careful with that.

844
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,120
So next one is the crusty Baldwin.

845
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:06,040
And after Alex Baldwin, I'm assuming when someone is having anal sex and the person

846
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,440
giving it to the partner, Jack, let's leave the semen there until it gets crusty in the

847
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:10,440
anus.

848
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,600
Oh, that just sounds up hygienic.

849
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,120
It does more than anything.

850
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,040
That's when it's platinum digger.

851
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,320
Someone who surpasses a gold digger in the fact that they already get insanely wealthy.

852
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,840
So they're already rich and only date, and will only date people who have more money

853
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,640
than them, AKA an asshole.

854
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,920
Oh, so every woman now, they're rich now.

855
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:36,840
No, there's that rope is fucking no, there's that meme or whatever where that sugar mama

856
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:42,120
hat like you're paying for me.

857
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,800
May 3rd is a kiss your homie day.

858
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,240
No homo.

859
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:51,240
I think they're trying to justify that again.

860
00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:57,960
Next one is my favorite word ever on this site gummy bear.

861
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,880
A young gay man who is attractive but has bare qualities.

862
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:07,840
Hairy chest but is well groomed and shaved.

863
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,840
That's why you use your name on playstation gummy.

864
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:15,160
Next one is Laffy Taffy.

865
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,920
When someone stretches the truth but makes it seem reasonable so they don't get caught

866
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:19,920
creeping.

867
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,200
So you can stretch it a little bit.

868
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,600
Yeah, I can see that.

869
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,080
Little white lies.

870
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,000
Just stretch just enough that they still believe you.

871
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,280
Next one is called Cottonmouth Kings.

872
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,440
Hope it's not a slur but it seems like it.

873
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,960
A rap group consists of a bunch of skinny white guys covered with tattoos.

874
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,000
They do a lot of hand motions in their music videos.

875
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,280
Look like they're going to grab your penis through the screen.

876
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,800
It's also the new age white trash redneck music.

877
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,720
I don't know what the fuck that is.

878
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:46,720
What's Cottonmouth Kings?

879
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:50,320
It sounds like an actual band that just has fucking shit on.

880
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,000
No, I can think of a few.

881
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,160
They called them rednecks too and white trash.

882
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,840
They went double down on them.

883
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:57,840
That's mean.

884
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,160
Next one is the Idaho Shake.

885
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,920
I'm going to put this shit on Idaho.

886
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,920
Take a shit on one leg with the other leg.

887
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,560
Dip your foot in the shit and smear it all over someone's face.

888
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:10,560
What?

889
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:14,200
It's like a handshake but with shit.

890
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:18,920
Oh, so you shit down one leg, you rub it with the other leg and then you kick someone in

891
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:19,920
the face basically.

892
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:20,920
What?

893
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:21,920
It's a handshake.

894
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:22,920
It's called the Idaho Shake.

895
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:31,240
Wouldn't it be easier to step your foot in some shit, some dog shit or cow shit and just

896
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,240
kick someone in the face instead?

897
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,240
I think that would make more sense.

898
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:37,520
Why would you have to kick someone in the face and shit yourself first?

899
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:38,520
Huh.

900
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:39,520
Whatever.

901
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,360
It sounds like something a homeless person would do.

902
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:43,360
Maybe.

903
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,520
Just start shitting themselves and then kick someone in the face with it.

904
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,520
Ha ha.

905
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,520
The other.

906
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,480
Alright, that is it for the 10 on the Urban Dictionary.

907
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:52,480
Cool.

908
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,760
I guess we'll go ahead.

909
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,240
I hope I've ruined your lives.

910
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,240
You did just a little bit.

911
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:57,240
It's fine.

912
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:02,280
Every time we do the Urban Dictionary, I die of the wood side.

913
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:03,280
So it's fine.

914
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,280
I find the...

915
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,280
I just love wordplay.

916
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,280
I'm a modern day Shakespeare.

917
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,280
I just enjoy finding new words.

918
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:13,080
Or new definitions for old words.

919
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:18,000
Which reminds me, have you ever read The Divine Comp?

920
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
No.

921
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,240
Do you guys know?

922
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:22,600
It includes Dante's Inferno.

923
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:23,600
Oh, that.

924
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,600
Purgatorio and Paradisio.

925
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:25,600
Is that what it's called?

926
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,600
I've read it, yeah.

927
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:27,600
It's got all three though.

928
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:28,600
It's a three story thing.

929
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:29,600
You go through every layer.

930
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:34,600
Well, it does Hell first, then you go through Purgatory, and then you go through Heaven.

931
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,600
I don't know if I've read it.

932
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:40,160
I don't remember any of it, but yes, I read it.

933
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:41,600
You said Divine Comedy sounded like something like...

934
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,440
I've never heard of that Shakespeare play.

935
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,440
No, it's by Dante.

936
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,440
Dante.

937
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:51,200
But everybody only knows the Inferno part, to where you get down to the seventh level

938
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,200
of Hell.

939
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,280
But nobody reads past that.

940
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,160
Like nobody knows there's two more.

941
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,640
As far as we get.

942
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,760
We go straight down.

943
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,000
But there's like a redemption thing, where you go back through Purgatory, and then you

944
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
go through Heaven.

945
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000
Cool.

946
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,000
So that's like a game.

947
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Pardisio.

948
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
Pardisio.

949
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,000
Sounds like a game.

950
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000
That is a game.

951
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000
It's a town in Red Dead Redemption.

952
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Or is it Pardisio?

953
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,000
Might be with an R. Pardisio.

954
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Pardi...Pardisio.

955
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,000
I don't know.

956
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,000
I don't speak Spanish.

957
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:21,000
I do, but I'm Mexican in America.

958
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000
So...

959
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,000
You're Spanglish.

960
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,000
Yeah, basically.

961
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000
All right.

962
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:30,040
We'll go ahead and go into our dive for today.

963
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,000
Our anime dive.

964
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:38,640
This was by one of the...somebody that asked for it on one of our videos.

965
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,840
I don't have it pulled up right now of who.

966
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:42,840
But you know who you are.

967
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:43,840
You.

968
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,840
You asked for Dregnor Academy.

969
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:46,840
Dregnor.

970
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:47,840
Dregnor Academy.

971
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:55,520
I thought it was Dragon Academy when I read it.

972
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,000
Let's see here.

973
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,840
Genre is considered fantasy, romantic comedy, and harem.

974
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:06,120
I knew a chick who liked to write reverse harems.

975
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,120
To God.

976
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,560
Guess she just liked to get in the busy.

977
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,560
So she was just a whore.

978
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:12,560
It's fine.

979
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,280
That's what she wrote as horror story.

980
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,280
Not horror.

981
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,280
Just whore.

982
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,280
All right.

983
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:25,560
It was originally written by Shiki Mizuchi for the manga.

984
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:32,520
The anime TV series was directed by Shinzuki Tada and Tomoyuki Kurokawa.

985
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,840
12 episodes.

986
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,120
And you can actually watch it on Crunchyroll right now.

987
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,560
Who these Crunchyrolls?

988
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,840
You got Netflix.

989
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:47,720
The anime ran from April through June of 2014.

990
00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:48,720
April through June?

991
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:49,720
Two months.

992
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:50,720
Okay.

993
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:51,720
Three months.

994
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:52,720
So they...

995
00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:54,720
4, 8, 12, yeah.

996
00:39:54,720 --> 00:40:01,200
So, first episode is called A Boy and His Dragon.

997
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:08,880
It's in the actual Japanese name of it is Saikoku no Dragonar is the Japanese name for

998
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,760
the undershirt dragon on there.

999
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:17,360
Saikoku no Dragonar instead of Dragonar Academy.

1000
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,080
All right.

1001
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:27,400
The first episode Ash Blake is a senior student of the famous An Sullivan Dragonar Academy

1002
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:32,480
but branded as the number one problem child for having no dragon pals.

1003
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:38,240
Other than capable of riding other pals, he hides one secret beneath his arm from everyone.

1004
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:41,560
He has this mark all the way up his arm.

1005
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:46,560
One day during a dragon rearing spar, Ash accidentally got himself into an argument

1006
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:50,840
with the prideful crown princess Sylvia Loutremont.

1007
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:58,800
Through a provoked act about his pal being dead, Ash challenges Sylvia in the annual

1008
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:04,760
Ares Dragonar Festival race to take back her words.

1009
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:11,520
During the race, Ash forfeits his victory where he crashes off some opponents conspiring

1010
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,320
against the princess during the race.

1011
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:19,560
While returning back to the school, Ash stumbles upon a mysterious figure named Milgauss and

1012
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:27,280
his bodyguard Anya who nearly drives him off of the edge of the cliff.

1013
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:32,400
Then after a falling moment, his right arm starts to glow.

1014
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:40,080
He falls, his arm starts to glow and born right out of Ash's secret star brand is what

1015
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,600
this tattoo is called appears a girl.

1016
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:48,720
So it's his dragon basically.

1017
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:52,640
Next episode is titled Ties That Bind the Astral Flow.

1018
00:41:52,640 --> 00:42:01,560
So Ashley, Ashley, Ash finally has his pal born a dragon named Eco or Echo I guess is

1019
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:08,700
the better way to pronounce it who is actually a human girl style of character rather than

1020
00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,400
looking like an actual dragon.

1021
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,520
So like the Marvel's movie that's number one.

1022
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:20,040
To make matters more problematic, the thunderous young dragon declares he that she is his master

1023
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,340
and he is not hers.

1024
00:42:22,340 --> 00:42:27,000
After a toying stroll around the Academy City, someone has their sights set on Echo to be

1025
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,920
more than a valuable research subject.

1026
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:36,460
The difference between this and the actual novel, the event where Ash names Echo is placed

1027
00:42:36,460 --> 00:42:40,600
during her visit to the town of the anime when it was moments after her birth during

1028
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:41,600
the novel.

1029
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:46,600
Okay, who changed a couple of things around a little bit to fit better in a I guess a

1030
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:47,600
animation way.

1031
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:48,600
Yeah, yeah.

1032
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,840
Or I guess format to fit a different medium.

1033
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,840
Right.

1034
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,400
So we'll see here.

1035
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,440
Next episode is called Riot in the Streets.

1036
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:05,800
So a hesitant Ash becomes enraged as a sorry, he becomes urged as he was invited to join

1037
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:10,120
the student council by the seductive president Rebecca Randall.

1038
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,760
The most American name.

1039
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,760
Well his is Ash Blake.

1040
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,760
Oh yeah.

1041
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:15,760
I thought it was Ash Ketchum.

1042
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,760
Trying to catch all those dragons.

1043
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:19,760
Trying to catch all the...

1044
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,600
I want to be in the...

1045
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,000
While on the cafeteria break, the mysterious intruders Ash encountered during the Ares

1046
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:31,800
Festival start spurring chaos by summoning an undead dragon that captures and swallows

1047
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,600
Echo whole in the process.

1048
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:37,800
God dang it, attack on titans all over again, he comes out looking like a dragon.

1049
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:43,040
While Ash struggles to rescue her, they're trying to figure out at the end of the episode

1050
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,840
can she fix up his arc set to save the day.

1051
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:47,840
So...

1052
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,840
Oh is she?

1053
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,880
Yeah there's no when he dies.

1054
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,840
Next episode is called Iron Blood Valkyrie.

1055
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,340
Ten days after Necromancy has attacked, which is the undead dragon, Ash and Sylvia were

1056
00:43:59,340 --> 00:44:02,880
admitted to the student council per Rebecca's request.

1057
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,440
Ash tries to balance towards his newfound school duties while keeping his secret identity

1058
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,780
as the heroic Silver Knight of the incident.

1059
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:17,000
So basically Echo was able to grant him a power basically to become like a Silver Knight.

1060
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,800
And she ended up being saved.

1061
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,360
And the undead dragon defeated.

1062
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:27,480
Meanwhile Sylvia receives a message that her older sister, Veronica Lautremont, the Iron

1063
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,800
Blood Valkyrie is coming for a visit.

1064
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,740
And Sylvia does not look a least bit happy about it.

1065
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:38,880
So then we go into the Ice Blue Princess is the next episode.

1066
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:43,020
The Iron Blood Valkyrie, Veronica Lautremont reunites with her little sister Sylvia after

1067
00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:44,320
four years.

1068
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:49,720
Disappointed with her sister's progress as a dragnar, she commences an arranged marriage

1069
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,760
with Glen Maguire.

1070
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,240
These are very American names.

1071
00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:54,240
Maguire.

1072
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:55,240
Maguire.

1073
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:59,280
So you're making them base or home runs?

1074
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,280
Yes.

1075
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:04,840
Her bodyguard and once her brother's best friend.

1076
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:09,360
As Sylvia struggles against the iron fist pressure of her sister, a terrorist attack

1077
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:14,740
is launched on the church she is praying at, led by the well-known assassin Atavolka the

1078
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:17,300
convicted.

1079
00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:19,080
We go into episode six.

1080
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,920
It's called the Blue Brianach.

1081
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:27,200
Veronica orders Sylvia to pray for forgiveness for her weakness at the church.

1082
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:34,480
While there, the church is taken over by a group of bandits led by the guerrilla Atavolka

1083
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:38,280
Kilskaya who threatens to bomb the church with everyone in it.

1084
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:43,660
Ash goes in to negotiate with her while Veronica initiates her plan to save everyone.

1085
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:47,400
Even though initially she planned to let Atavolka blow up the church.

1086
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,400
Well damn girl.

1087
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,400
I know.

1088
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,480
This ultimately results in Sylvia and the citizens being saved.

1089
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:54,960
Episode seven.

1090
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,360
Luka Sarlin.

1091
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,360
Sarlin.

1092
00:45:58,360 --> 00:45:59,360
Sarlin.

1093
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:05,280
After Ash has chosen to go to a training camp, they find out about the last student council

1094
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:10,400
member named Luka who was a greater, who has a greater reputation than that of the student

1095
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:11,820
council president.

1096
00:46:11,820 --> 00:46:14,000
She has a problem with her dragon Gawain.

1097
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,200
I guess it would be Gawain.

1098
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,200
G-A-W-A-I-N. Gawain.

1099
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,200
Gawain.

1100
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:24,920
And it's up to the student council members as friends to help her.

1101
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,040
We go into episode eight called Moodlet Roar.

1102
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:32,200
After arriving at the training camp, the student council continues their efforts to talk with

1103
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,480
Gawain.

1104
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:39,080
After managing to get on his back, Ash is knocked out and speaks with Gawain in the

1105
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,240
High Dragon Workshop.

1106
00:46:41,240 --> 00:46:46,400
While there, Ash finds out that the reason Gawain will not let Luka ride him is because

1107
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:50,540
that the two had an accident recently and he does not want to put her in charge like

1108
00:46:50,540 --> 00:46:52,120
he did before.

1109
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,040
So the dragon doesn't trust his rider.

1110
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:59,440
Well damn, that would be a great way to establish a relationship.

1111
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,260
Episode nine is called Dragon Dance.

1112
00:47:01,260 --> 00:47:10,460
After Gawain goes missing, it is up to Ash, Sylva, and Echo to find Luka, to help Luka

1113
00:47:10,460 --> 00:47:11,640
find him.

1114
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:17,680
Meanwhile, the camp is attacked by a horde of Necromancia, which are the undead dragons.

1115
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,880
Students and the staff fight them off.

1116
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:24,640
The group finds Gawain, but Milgauss is there with a large Necromancia dragon.

1117
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,400
The group defeats him and the dragon.

1118
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,640
They kill the Necromancia dragons with the school and rescue Gawain.

1119
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,400
So all is well that ends well, basically.

1120
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,920
Episode ten, Assembly in Fontaine.

1121
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,480
It's a lot of American and French words.

1122
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:47,240
Sylvia, Ash, and Echo are invited to the capital by Sylvia's father so he can meet them.

1123
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:51,120
Upon reaching the capital, Sylvia meets up with her father while Ash and Echo explore

1124
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:52,480
the city.

1125
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,140
Once Ash meets Sylvia's father, he appoints him as a dragonar.

1126
00:47:56,140 --> 00:48:01,240
So he becomes a dragonar at that point instead of just being one at the academy.

1127
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:06,160
Meanwhile, an evil group plots behind the scenes and waits to start its plan to kidnap

1128
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,480
Echo and awaken her dragon form.

1129
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,720
Because she's been in human form the entire time.

1130
00:48:11,720 --> 00:48:12,720
Oh really?

1131
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:13,720
Huh.

1132
00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:16,240
Episode eleven is called Yggdrasil Rising.

1133
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:18,000
Yggdrasil, great choice.

1134
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000
Now we're at North mythology.

1135
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,000
Yeah.

1136
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,720
Remember Yggdrasil is also part of Overlord.

1137
00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:27,520
That's the only reason I can look at that word and know what it says.

1138
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:31,560
You know what word is crazy to look at in Greek mythology that I only learned from playing

1139
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,400
God of War is Hecatonchires?

1140
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,120
If you ever look at it, it will blow your brain out.

1141
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:43,920
And I get recited perfectly just from the game.

1142
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:47,320
After realizing that she will never be with Ash, Echo runs off.

1143
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,360
While outside and away from people, Echo is kidnapped by the evil group.

1144
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,360
God damn.

1145
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:57,280
While Sylvia and Ash search for her for her for whore, they find out she was abducted

1146
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,080
and go to rescue her.

1147
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:04,800
Going into episode 12, the star branded dragonar, which is actually what the Japanese word really

1148
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,920
mean in the title.

1149
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,440
The actual title of the anime itself.

1150
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:11,440
Okay.

1151
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,200
So now we finally get the actual name.

1152
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:18,600
Because the American version of it is not the same as what the Japanese version is.

1153
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,440
The evil group complete their plan and force Echo into her dragon form.

1154
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:27,800
Echo is then possessed by the spirit who formerly resided in Sylvia's brother's body.

1155
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:31,640
Echo loses control of her body and wrecks havoc across the city.

1156
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:35,200
This causes Ash to jump into action, venturing into Echo's mind.

1157
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:39,960
Ash fights and defeats the spirit, returning Echo to her human form and saving the city.

1158
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,120
And that is how the first season ends.

1159
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,120
Yay.

1160
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:47,520
We're going to go over a couple of the characters here so that way you at least understand them

1161
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,520
a little bit better.

1162
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:49,520
Okay.

1163
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:54,440
So Ash Blake, a 16 year old student at the academy whose dragon, Parr, hasn't fully awakened

1164
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,160
at the beginning of the series.

1165
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:01,640
He is also known as a problem child due to his tendency to react violently to any perceived

1166
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,080
insult to his yet to be born dragon.

1167
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:12,920
It's a great way to figure out or react to any response or any actual anything.

1168
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:18,040
Despite his poor reputation, he has an unusual talent, a phenomenon called chalice that makes

1169
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:23,520
him the only human, aside from his sister, Linda, able to ride other people's dragons.

1170
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,520
So that was not a possible thing.

1171
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:25,520
I thought it was just random.

1172
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:27,320
You can all ride any dragon.

1173
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,840
No, you can only ride the one that you summon.

1174
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:30,840
Huh.

1175
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:34,800
As a child, he had no interest in becoming a breeder, which is what they consider people

1176
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,040
that raise dragons.

1177
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:41,920
But he met Sylvia Lutremont, who was determined to be a breeder by chance during the orphan

1178
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,640
rite and assisting her in finding the mother dragon.

1179
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:49,360
After finding the mother dragon, he has chosen to become a breeder, not Sylvia.

1180
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:53,680
He was given the dragon Parr, later named Echo, by the mother dragon, who was aware

1181
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,800
of his ability to drive, to ride any dragon.

1182
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:02,400
After saving the town during the necromancy incident, he is defied, uh, defied?

1183
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,080
Maybe deified?

1184
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:05,080
Deified probably.

1185
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,400
Yeah, be deified.

1186
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:10,840
As the Ark bearing silver knight, which corresponds to a noble rank.

1187
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:16,920
He is later knighted by Paladin Oswald, granting him the title dragon, uh, dragon Noah shortly

1188
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:21,380
after accepting the position of student council general affairs.

1189
00:51:21,380 --> 00:51:26,120
He is also called the Knight of Avalon due to him being Echo's master.

1190
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,940
In the second year, he takes the student council president position where he becomes the founder

1191
00:51:29,940 --> 00:51:32,240
of the independent order of the Avalon Knights.

1192
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:34,280
Man, quite the mouthful.

1193
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,280
A little bit.

1194
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,280
We have Echo.

1195
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,720
Echo is a special dragon Parr who takes on the form of a human girl.

1196
00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:45,040
Although she develops a fondness for Ash, she treats him as though he was her servant

1197
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,240
and not the other way around, much to his annoyance.

1198
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:53,080
Echo is fully aware that Ash is her master and that she is his pet, as she describes

1199
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,760
herself, but she doesn't want to admit it because of her pride.

1200
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,200
She also believes that if she submits that she will have, uh, she will be nothing but

1201
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:05,080
a tamed pet to Ash and not a like friend type character.

1202
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,600
I guess.

1203
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:12,900
Echo assesses Dragonwise, a place where she can gather the ability to give Ash a magical

1204
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:15,400
suit of armor known as the Ark.

1205
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:19,480
And when she does, they also receive an Ark weapon infused with elemental power.

1206
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:24,400
She is later revealed to be the Imperial Princess of the Emperor's family of Avalon's Holy

1207
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:35,400
Dragons, and her full name is Echo Aurora Christina Pendragon Lena Anharusa Ilia Roronsuga

1208
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:40,320
Lillian Muriel Octavia Robintine De La Rosa.

1209
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:41,320
So she is Hispanic.

1210
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,320
I'm about to ask, is she Hispanic?

1211
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,920
Quite the Hispanic long name.

1212
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,920
It goes off.

1213
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:56,440
Ressi, uh, Ressuper Ansu Van De Compas, uh, Compastella Avalon.

1214
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:57,440
Yes.

1215
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,680
According to the Mother Dragon, Echo for sure.

1216
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:01,680
Yes.

1217
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,560
According to the Mother Dragon, Echo is both human and dragon.

1218
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:09,880
This was arranged in order for her to breed with Ash and save the dragon race from extinction.

1219
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:10,880
Eww.

1220
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:11,880
Coros.

1221
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,880
I told you.

1222
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:18,600
I told you.

1223
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,360
Yeah, that's uh, that's Dragon Art Academy for you.

1224
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:23,840
There you go.

1225
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,640
It's a boy that wants to sleep with his dragon basically.

1226
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,720
Isn't it the girl that wants to sleep with the...

1227
00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:30,720
Yeah.

1228
00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:34,000
And there's a lot of fan service in this anime.

1229
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,240
Just as a heads up to anybody that watches it.

1230
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:40,400
I would, it's not, um, it's not a bad anime per se.

1231
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:44,600
It's just not usually something I would have watched generally if not asked for.

1232
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,080
Well, like I said, it's not bad.

1233
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,320
The graphics and stuff like that are, like the animation itself is pretty good.

1234
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:55,920
But I don't know, I've never been into the harem animes really.

1235
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,920
My whole life as a harem.

1236
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,240
Yeah, you and your ten fingers.

1237
00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:01,240
Reverse harem.

1238
00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:04,880
You're part of that harem.

1239
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,880
I'm part of the actual harem.

1240
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,880
I'm exhausted.

1241
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,960
It's like you take over.

1242
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:13,960
Go ahead.

1243
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,600
I'm done with this bullshit.

1244
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:20,160
I feel like getting a notebook right and putting a pineapple upside down sticker on it just

1245
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:21,160
to mess with people.

1246
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:26,800
I'm not a swinger, but we'll see what happens.

1247
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:27,800
Yeah.

1248
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:32,400
Buy you one of those neon signs hanging on your front door.

1249
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:36,560
Be fucking hilarious having an upside down pineapple on the decal to your car.

1250
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:37,560
Yeah.

1251
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,560
Be like, what the fuck?

1252
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:39,560
What's he in, dude?

1253
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,560
And then people just keep approaching me.

1254
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,560
I'm like, I'm not into anything.

1255
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,520
I just like having a pineapple upside down.

1256
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:45,520
I'm like Hawaii.

1257
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:46,520
That's what I'm talking about.

1258
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:47,520
I'm always, I'm always confused.

1259
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:48,520
Huh?

1260
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:49,520
Why are you swinging?

1261
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,520
I'm like Hawaii.

1262
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,880
That's where I grew up.

1263
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:58,240
I eat pineapples upside down.

1264
00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:00,000
You've never heard of pineapple upside down cake?

1265
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,560
You never, you never, you never bit into a pineapple that was completely like shelled?

1266
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:04,560
Yeah.

1267
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:05,560
Yeah?

1268
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:06,560
Yeah.

1269
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:07,560
What's that like?

1270
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:08,560
Hurts.

1271
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,280
That's the pine of the part of the apple, isn't it?

1272
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:12,280
Yes.

1273
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:13,280
Yes, it is.

1274
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,280
That shit hurts.

1275
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:15,280
Just tear up your whole mouth.

1276
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:16,280
You fuck.

1277
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:17,280
All right.

1278
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,920
You ready for some Reddit?

1279
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:19,920
Yep.

1280
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,960
These are all today I fucked ups by the way.

1281
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:23,960
So for you.

1282
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:24,960
One of my cousins on there.

1283
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,960
He would be if you know how to write and read.

1284
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:32,160
He's a, just what you're saying is he's a literate.

1285
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:33,840
The first one is by Muted Radio.

1286
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:35,120
This person puts.

1287
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:36,760
A good game actually.

1288
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,240
It makes sense.

1289
00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:39,240
A muted radio.

1290
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:40,240
Yeah.

1291
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,640
You can't mute a radio unless you turn the volume all the way down.

1292
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:43,640
Yeah.

1293
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:47,360
This person puts this morning whenever I woke up, my boyfriend seemed very upset.

1294
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:51,080
I asked him what was wrong and he asked me if I didn't remember what happened the night

1295
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,080
before.

1296
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:53,080
When you.

1297
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:54,080
I was there.

1298
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:55,080
Dilled up my ass.

1299
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:56,080
I was like, God.

1300
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:57,080
He's.

1301
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,080
I was very confused and told him no.

1302
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:02,280
I only remembered waking up once around 3 a.m. and going to the bathroom and that was it.

1303
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,280
You pissed on me.

1304
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:09,160
He told me that around midnight or one, he was having a panic attack and shook me awake.

1305
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:12,240
He said I hugged him for a few minutes then mumbled something about I'll do it in the

1306
00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:16,520
morning that I turned over and he grabbed my arm and I apparently yelled at him to stop

1307
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:17,960
touching me.

1308
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:22,040
He said he said he rolled over and started to cry and then I shouted, Are you seriously

1309
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,040
crying?

1310
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:24,040
I'm trying to sleep.

1311
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:25,040
How would you.

1312
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,240
The problem is that I don't remember any of this.

1313
00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:28,240
Are you sure?

1314
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:29,560
I think this is selective.

1315
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:30,560
I think she's lying.

1316
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,560
Yeah.

1317
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:35,960
And this is not something I would have done if I had been fully awake.

1318
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,440
I obviously feel horrible and have apologized multiple times.

1319
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:43,480
He seemed to be less upset after he realized I was serious about not remembering.

1320
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:47,960
But I sent him a text this morning to further apologize whenever he left for work.

1321
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:52,400
I made him some breakfast earlier and took it to him to work for him.

1322
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,360
And we talked a little bit about what had happened and he made a joke about the situation

1323
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:57,840
and seemed to be normal about it.

1324
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:59,320
But I still feel horrible.

1325
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,560
Bitch, you remember this shit.

1326
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,560
You remember exactly what you were doing.

1327
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,480
Oh, you really fucking crying motherfucker.

1328
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,480
She wakes up like I'll make you give me reason to cry.

1329
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:10,480
She beats it.

1330
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:11,480
Get out of it.

1331
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,680
Bitch, it just starts beating the shit out of her.

1332
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,680
If I got sleeps on my couch.

1333
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:18,680
Really?

1334
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:21,600
You're going to cry now.

1335
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,720
Next one is by bumblebee number 4903.

1336
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:27,680
Apparently, they'll all the other numbers for taking that.

1337
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:28,680
That's that one number.

1338
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,160
That's the bumblebee's actual account from the actual hive.

1339
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,160
Could be.

1340
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,240
That's how many there are.

1341
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,240
This happened in Friday.

1342
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:37,600
Your emails would be fucking crazy.

1343
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:42,520
Like if it was bumblebee email, you know, got to send it to 876-9321.

1344
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:43,520
This is 923456.

1345
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:44,520
Like, what's that?

1346
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:45,520
877-321.

1347
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,520
I'm like, what the fuck?

1348
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,200
All right, this first pitch.

1349
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:56,200
This happened in Friday evening and I'm still dying about it.

1350
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:57,200
It was early evening around.

1351
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:58,200
Guy?

1352
00:57:58,200 --> 00:57:59,200
I go to the hospital then.

1353
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,560
Hey, I'm reading the way they wrote it.

1354
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:06,360
It was early evening around 8 p.m. and I started dozing in and out of sleep in the recliner

1355
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:10,400
while my husband and four-year-old son were watching a show on his iPad.

1356
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:11,400
They watch it.

1357
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:16,680
Something like Wholesome and Family like Games of the Ravens.

1358
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:17,680
Watching Saul.

1359
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:22,480
Here's the part where she tried to stick her hand up there.

1360
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:26,280
She gets that hand caught too with the spikes.

1361
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:31,000
My son came over a few times to come watch.

1362
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,320
It's all wholesome.

1363
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:35,320
This is about sharing.

1364
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,320
So you ain't sharing shit.

1365
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:40,120
Literal shit.

1366
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:43,920
My son came over a few times to come talk and show me things and then I would doze off

1367
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:44,920
again.

1368
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,840
He came over again and started yanking on my arm to wake me up.

1369
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:51,840
I was in the middle of an intense dream and I smacked the shit out of him and I could

1370
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:54,320
not remember any of it now.

1371
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:58,360
But as I was jolting awake and out of the dream, I yelled, oh my God, shut the fuck

1372
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,360
up, dick nose.

1373
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:00,360
There you go.

1374
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,960
This is to her son, by the way.

1375
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:07,520
When I came to it and realized where I was, I realized my son was crying and my husband

1376
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:08,520
was looking at me disgusted.

1377
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:15,640
How dare you ruin our wonderful family night of watching Hostel 1, 2 and 3.

1378
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:19,720
I asked him what happened and my husband said, why would you say that to him?

1379
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,320
I said, the dick nose.

1380
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:22,960
I thought it was part of a dream.

1381
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:24,920
You know he's embarrassed about his nose.

1382
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:25,920
It does look like a dick.

1383
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,120
You don't have to call him out on it.

1384
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:31,160
I had no idea I actually yelled that to him in real life.

1385
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,200
I had to explain to my kid that I didn't mean to call him a dick nose.

1386
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,200
I still don't know what a dick nose is.

1387
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,200
You know what it is.

1388
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,200
What do you mean a dick nose?

1389
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,200
Come on now, girl.

1390
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:44,360
Just like everybody knows what a butt chin is, you know what it is.

1391
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:47,040
You ever seen the man with the biggest nose ever?

1392
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,560
Just seven inches long.

1393
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:50,320
Jesus Christ.

1394
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,400
Never kissed a woman in his life because they couldn't reach.

1395
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:53,400
Sereno de Bergea.

1396
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,080
I don't know what the fuck his name was.

1397
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,080
You remember the movie, don't you?

1398
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:58,080
I thought about the real guy.

1399
00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,080
I know.

1400
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:00,480
I'm sorry, but it could have been the same kind of...

1401
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:01,480
Yeah, I guess so.

1402
01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:05,080
The guy that was like he would hide and he would give some handsome guy all this advice.

1403
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:06,080
Is that the guy?

1404
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:07,080
Yeah, Sereno.

1405
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:08,080
Yeah, okay.

1406
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:09,080
We hid in the bushes.

1407
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:12,080
Tell her her eyes look like starlights.

1408
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:17,080
It's like her panties are as big as the sink.

1409
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:21,080
Just some random shit just to see if he'll repeat it.

1410
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,080
Because the guy's dumb anyway.

1411
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:26,080
Ask her what them titties do.

1412
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:30,080
Next one is by Zs.

1413
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,080
Z-E-I-Z.

1414
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,080
Z-E-I-Z.

1415
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:37,080
I'm surprised they got that username to be fair.

1416
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:38,080
Z-E-I-Z.

1417
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,080
Z-E-I-Z.

1418
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:40,080
It's all in the eyes.

1419
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:43,080
It sounds like it's our Arnold Schwarzenegger.

1420
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:44,080
Z-E-I-Z.

1421
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:48,080
Real eyes is real eyes.

1422
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:49,080
This person fits.

1423
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,400
I matched with a really cute girl out of my league.

1424
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:54,680
Not only that, but she was into the same games as me and liked cars.

1425
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:55,760
What's a guy?

1426
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,800
We talked for three days nonstop until we decided to meet up for coffee.

1427
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:00,800
We met.

1428
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,800
She was even better looking in person.

1429
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,080
What's a guy then?

1430
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:04,080
Things started out great.

1431
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,400
Conversation flows great.

1432
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:08,880
And then she shows me a picture of her cat from that morning trying to get into a fish

1433
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:09,880
bowl.

1434
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:13,640
I'd laugh at her and tell her what an absolute unit that cat is.

1435
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:17,040
What a h-ckin' chunker.

1436
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:18,040
That cat hella thick.

1437
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,040
It's a fat bitch.

1438
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,040
It just starts going on.

1439
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,040
Even after she leaves, he's still going.

1440
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:22,040
He's the fattest fucking cat in the world.

1441
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:30,480
That door-filled motherfucker.

1442
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,480
Her expression's completely changed and she gets quiet.

1443
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:38,920
That's a friend flag.

1444
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:44,760
I tell her that when that fat cat can't take a joke, he goes baaah.

1445
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,040
She starts going off.

1446
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:50,600
I tell her that's a super cute cat, but her expression remained the same.

1447
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,520
Two to three minutes go by with very minimal talking.

1448
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:54,520
Oh fuck.

1449
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:55,760
Things are really awkward now.

1450
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:57,920
She gets up and says she needs to be somewhere.

1451
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,320
She left and almost immediately unmatched me.

1452
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:05,960
So we just meet up late.

1453
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,920
Next one is by Kurasaki Toppo.

1454
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,000
Probably a random one?

1455
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:13,240
It must be something actually like prophetic.

1456
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,320
Kurasaki is the last name of Ichigo for bleach.

1457
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:17,320
There you go.

1458
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:18,320
Hold on.

1459
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:19,320
What's the first one?

1460
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:20,320
Ichigo Kurasaki.

1461
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:21,320
What is that?

1462
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:22,320
Is that Ichigo?

1463
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,320
Well, it's Kurasaki Toppo.

1464
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:25,360
I don't know what the topo might be.

1465
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:26,840
I have no idea actually.

1466
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,440
Maybe it's his actual name.

1467
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,240
He's just a guy's real name.

1468
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:31,240
Toppo.

1469
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:35,120
We're just all very fucking trying to decide what it means.

1470
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,960
This one puts, next one by him.

1471
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:39,480
Sorry for my bad English.

1472
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:40,480
Not my first language.

1473
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:41,480
Yep, he's Japanese.

1474
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,040
Could be.

1475
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:46,520
This person puts, she, and I do have to add the ages this time.

1476
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:48,200
She 43.

1477
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,280
She's always saying that she's ugly and old and stuff like that.

1478
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:55,320
That no, she wants my fucking cotton candy.

1479
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:59,440
Nobody likes her, likes, find her attractive.

1480
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:04,920
I, a 26 year old male, am always saying she's pretty and hot because it's true and to make

1481
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:05,920
her feel good.

1482
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,540
So we were drinking some beers and she starts to undress.

1483
01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:11,160
She asked me if she's hot and if I wanted to fuck her.

1484
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:12,160
I said yes.

1485
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:13,160
This is Japan?

1486
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:14,160
Goday.

1487
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:17,160
Forward as fuck.

1488
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:24,120
I was excited but at the moment we started to have sex, my thing didn't work.

1489
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:28,360
She said she was so sad that it was because she wasn't attractive.

1490
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:30,040
But I don't know, I was nervous.

1491
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,200
I made her feel bad and I'm so sad about it.

1492
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:36,040
For obvious reasons, she don't want to talk to me and block me from social networks.

1493
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,640
Well fuck, social networks.

1494
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:38,640
Yeah.

1495
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,640
I know it's a foreign country and you know.

1496
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:44,120
He's like, yeah you're fucking hot.

1497
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:45,120
Yeah I want to fuck you.

1498
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:46,120
Oh don't worry.

1499
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,120
I think don't get her.

1500
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,120
No I'm not.

1501
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:49,120
Oh good.

1502
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:53,320
This one is by double Y's selecta.

1503
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:54,320
805.

1504
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:55,320
Okay.

1505
01:03:55,320 --> 01:04:00,760
Hey it says S-E-L-E-C-T-A-H.

1506
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:02,800
Selecta.

1507
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:09,560
For context, wife and I had parents, our parents are a beautiful toddler and rent a house,

1508
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,240
what I like to call a landlord special.

1509
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:14,400
And this happens to that baby's butt ass son.

1510
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,880
A beautiful toddler, looks like a troll.

1511
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,640
They found underneath a bridge.

1512
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:22,680
And this happened two days ago.

1513
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,440
My wife and I had been planning a date night all week.

1514
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:29,640
I surprised her by saying I'd like to go to the movies, which I don't do.

1515
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:31,040
I was never a fan of the movies before.

1516
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:34,520
I mean I watched the triple feature, Hostel 1, 2, and 3.

1517
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:38,640
Centipede 1 through 5.

1518
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:42,040
I was never a fan of the movies before and haven't been to a theater since pre-COVID.

1519
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:45,440
I've taken the theaters for granted and I generally miss them.

1520
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:46,440
Silly me.

1521
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:48,000
Shit I haven't been to theaters since COVID either.

1522
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,000
Damn that's wild.

1523
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,000
I had decided to day off.

1524
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:56,960
She went to work and dropped off our daughter in the morning at her mom's wife's.

1525
01:04:56,960 --> 01:05:00,920
So my mother-in-law could watch her while we go on our date night.

1526
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,000
Great night to ourselves.

1527
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,360
Wife arrives home around 2pm.

1528
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:08,800
Movie starts at 6.30 and decided we'd eat before the movies.

1529
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:10,960
We mutually agreed we'd leave at 4.

1530
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,920
So I told her to take her time to get ready.

1531
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:14,920
So she did.

1532
01:05:14,920 --> 01:05:19,440
And I stopped and asked, Hey, so can you shave down there?

1533
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:21,320
Wife was like, I got you.

1534
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:26,240
Talk about an actual real relationship.

1535
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:31,520
I have time to kill so I decided to hop on my PC and log into Squad server to kill some

1536
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:32,520
time.

1537
01:05:32,520 --> 01:05:33,560
No kids.

1538
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:34,560
I could game in peace.

1539
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,440
And I'd be like, fuck damn kids.

1540
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:38,680
Not even 5 minutes go by.

1541
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:39,680
I hear, shit.

1542
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:40,680
Oh fuck.

1543
01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:44,320
30 seconds go by and I hear my name being called for help.

1544
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,360
I wait a few seconds.

1545
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,360
She yells my name again.

1546
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,560
That's a true couple right there.

1547
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:50,560
They're like, oh.

1548
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:51,560
She's like, oh.

1549
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:55,840
She's fucking toilet koochie.

1550
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:57,680
Our bathroom is directly in front of our bedroom.

1551
01:05:57,680 --> 01:05:59,600
I quickly get up in frustration.

1552
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:00,600
Open the bathroom.

1553
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:02,000
I see water spewing everywhere.

1554
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,280
Like, what the fuck?

1555
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:04,480
She points under the toilet.

1556
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:07,600
I see the pipe that sends water to the toilet bowl spraying water.

1557
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,280
That's better than her getting cut up.

1558
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:10,280
Yeah.

1559
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:15,360
I quickly try to shut off the rusty valve that was impossible to turn from all the corrosion.

1560
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:17,800
I run to the garage and grab a tool for leverage.

1561
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:22,840
Like I mentioned earlier, the Landlord Special, there is a copper hard line about 8 inches

1562
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,960
from the water outlet to the bathroom.

1563
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,040
Sorry.

1564
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:31,000
There is a copper hard line from 8 inches from under the water outlet to the bottom

1565
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:32,440
of the toilet bowl.

1566
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:36,240
A grommet at each end creates a seal.

1567
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:38,240
That bypassed you completely.

1568
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:43,880
Basically, also, it's so crazy the guy could just pinpoint the actual size of something

1569
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:44,880
except their dick.

1570
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:45,880
Yeah.

1571
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:47,880
Like that's 8 inches, 8 and a half inches, 15 inches around.

1572
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:51,240
You can get enough room and you can fill that fucking plumbing up.

1573
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,400
My dick, I don't know, mine is 9, 11 inches.

1574
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:54,400
I'm not sure.

1575
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:55,400
He's packing tape.

1576
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,400
But they don't fucking pipes.

1577
01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:58,400
Yeah.

1578
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,400
By fucking just like eye gauge.

1579
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:01,400
Yeah.

1580
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:09,120
A couple of fucking blocks of wood, 92, 15 fucking 2x4s.

1581
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:10,120
I got it.

1582
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:11,120
Hot, hot.

1583
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:12,120
But then it's like, hey, uh.

1584
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:18,680
They didn't fucking measure their dick from their asshole.

1585
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:23,000
You see, my wife thought it'd be a good idea to kick her leg up on the toilet bowl.

1586
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000
You get the picture.

1587
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,720
Since there is a copper hard line instead of a normal flex pipe, it shifted and ruptured

1588
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:29,480
the seal from the grommet.

1589
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:32,880
Our bathroom got semi-flooded and gallons of water spilled from the toilet bowl.

1590
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:33,880
Damn.

1591
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:37,960
Three trips between Lowe's and Home Depot's, of course, we could not fuck a flex pipe that

1592
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:40,720
fits on the ancient water valve.

1593
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:42,720
It measured three-fourths of an inch.

1594
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:44,920
You got the exact measurements through.

1595
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:48,680
We did find exactly that, but it would not thread on.

1596
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:50,360
Three hours later, I said, screw it.

1597
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:53,760
I'm a guy who read a makeshift grommet of reused copper line.

1598
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:54,760
It worked.

1599
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:57,680
We missed our movie and we just went straight to dinner.

1600
01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:58,680
Fun night.

1601
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,520
Can I make do with what's the best that you can?

1602
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:02,520
She tried to shave the coochie.

1603
01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:03,520
Try her best.

1604
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:06,040
She kicked her leg up and shit.

1605
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,040
Broke that bitch.

1606
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:10,760
That fucking bathroom is torn up now.

1607
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,240
Next one is by Dependent Soil8011.

1608
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:20,240
This person puts, oh boy, I hope no one knows, no one I know sees this.

1609
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:24,320
I went on a date last night with someone I've known for a while, but that's not really where

1610
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,840
my fuck up starts.

1611
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:27,160
After dinner, I went for a walk.

1612
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:28,960
My fuck up started when I was born.

1613
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:33,960
We're going to go back in history all the time.

1614
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:39,240
After dinner, we went for a walk along the very quiet and empty river.

1615
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,680
Things got snowballed from there.

1616
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:41,840
We started making out.

1617
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:46,280
He was feeling around and we were generally having a hard time restraining ourselves.

1618
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:51,400
So we moved somewhere quieter where this girl gave him a hand job.

1619
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,240
The bathroom of a supermarket.

1620
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:55,240
Is that a sign?

1621
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,120
Was that a bitter call?

1622
01:08:57,120 --> 01:09:00,800
I don't think anyone saw, but this is where the fuck up is.

1623
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:06,360
I wasn't aware that he had shot that hard and that suddenly my hands and jeans were

1624
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,960
covered.

1625
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:13,200
My hands and jeans were covered and all I could do was sit there with my jaw on the

1626
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,200
floor.

1627
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:17,200
He must have been bad at his shotgun blinds.

1628
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:18,560
Yeah, he was like a blue one out.

1629
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:20,000
One of his dustpipes retracted.

1630
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:21,920
That hasn't even been back in a while.

1631
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:26,000
I've never had to clean a male jizz off anything.

1632
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:29,600
So I tried soaking it down with water because a water bottle was all I had with me.

1633
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:32,440
Yeah, that ain't going to work.

1634
01:09:32,440 --> 01:09:34,480
I couldn't see it once I rinsed my jeans.

1635
01:09:34,480 --> 01:09:36,640
So I figured everything would be fine.

1636
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,120
That's where you really do fuck up.

1637
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:42,880
Watch the crusted for the fucking white stain.

1638
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:43,880
Wrong.

1639
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:44,880
I got up this morning.

1640
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:49,280
Have you forgot that my jeans probably needed washing and went out and shopping with a steel

1641
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,680
or fucking jean?

1642
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,080
I didn't give a second thought.

1643
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:55,440
I thought I'd cleaned it good enough.

1644
01:09:55,440 --> 01:10:01,640
To looking down at said jeans when I'd gotten on the bus and learn that I had not in fact

1645
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:02,920
cleaned it good enough.

1646
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:06,280
So I've been walking around unintentionally covered in cum.

1647
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:07,280
Damn.

1648
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:13,000
And to me in story form, I imagine some old 95 year old woman coming, honey, come on you

1649
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,000
jeans.

1650
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:19,080
And she looks, it was always the old ones that don't mind telling you.

1651
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:20,080
They're willing to tell you everything.

1652
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:23,400
They'll tell you everything and they don't care.

1653
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:30,000
Next one is by Jim Jim Jim is therapy.

1654
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:34,160
I was trying to figure out if that was an L or an I cause can't tell.

1655
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,280
All righty.

1656
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:38,280
So this person puts greetings actually not today, but a few days ago.

1657
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:40,720
Wait, there's like greetings earthling.

1658
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:43,280
Manu Nenu.

1659
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:46,200
My girlfriend and I had a human experience today cause I am also human.

1660
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:51,440
My girlfriend and I were having some quiet alone time together, which had gotten pretty

1661
01:10:51,440 --> 01:10:53,960
rare since we have a one year old kid.

1662
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:58,200
We decided to use the opportunity to have some sexy time and started out with some foreplay.

1663
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,480
Like a sexy, if you guys call it sexy time, you are a little not.

1664
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:02,480
Yeah.

1665
01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:03,480
Uh, we were making out things.

1666
01:11:03,480 --> 01:11:08,640
How spicy I was hard as a rock and ready to make my ancestors proud.

1667
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:14,600
At this point, I need to mention that I thought it was fun to get high beforehand as it feels

1668
01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:18,360
much more intense than I got higher than intended.

1669
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:21,360
And due to that, my tongue felt like dry piece of beef jerky.

1670
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:25,840
Well, have you ever woken up in the middle of the night because you were so thirsty and

1671
01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:30,560
you're going to get that cold, fresh three AM sip of water that kind of dry wake up when

1672
01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:33,560
I got drought.

1673
01:11:33,560 --> 01:11:39,800
I don't know why.

1674
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:45,880
Maybe my mouth breathe when I sleep, but man, you wake up just fucking dry.

1675
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:49,080
So you know the dry, I get spit fire.

1676
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:54,360
Nevertheless, I put off my clothes and leaned in for a final tongue kiss before working

1677
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:55,360
my way down on her.

1678
01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:58,000
Then it happened when the tips of our tongue got tired.

1679
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,800
I put the shit out of her.

1680
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:04,200
I busted out laughing, blowing air out of my nose and her face.

1681
01:12:04,200 --> 01:12:08,200
Her tongue felt so wet that it made it.

1682
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:09,800
Fucking nectar from it.

1683
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:16,720
It made me envision my tongue to feel like SpongeBob from that episode.

1684
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:22,200
He visits Sandy for the first time and he's on the brink of death desperate for water.

1685
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:25,600
I immediately felt embarrassed and sorry for ruining the mood.

1686
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:29,000
I apologize for being childish and stupid.

1687
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:34,200
We tried to save the situation, but I got soft and she lost interest that she was very

1688
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:36,400
disappointed totally get that.

1689
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:40,240
After that, silence trinch by disappointment and embarrassment.

1690
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,600
That's best marriage for you.

1691
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:45,400
Thankfully, 10 minutes later, I was able to get the mood back on and made up for it.

1692
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:49,040
I gave everything I had used every trick in the book and managed to take her to the promised

1693
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:52,280
land and preserve some dignity, dignity from my bloodline.

1694
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:56,560
All three positions that you know, if you know the entire thing out of everything that

1695
01:12:56,560 --> 01:12:58,680
last little part was not the true part.

1696
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:01,080
It was just disappointment.

1697
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:02,080
Probably.

1698
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:08,360
I lost her effort for like 510 minutes.

1699
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:09,360
Just sitting there.

1700
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:10,360
All right.

1701
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:11,600
Last one is a little bit of a long one.

1702
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:12,600
So 18 pages.

1703
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:13,600
It looks like.

1704
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:16,600
And what did they do?

1705
01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:17,600
They committed a crime.

1706
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:22,040
And this person is logical, brilliant 115.

1707
01:13:22,040 --> 01:13:23,360
That's not logical nor brilliant.

1708
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,560
So did he murder somebody?

1709
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:26,560
All right.

1710
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:27,720
Be this person boots.

1711
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:33,760
I used to pride myself on the ability to handle spice, but if you want to talk about handling,

1712
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:38,160
you ever vomit it out of your asshole after eating fucking spicy food the day after?

1713
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:39,840
Believe me, I know Taco Bell.

1714
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,840
That's why they bulled down their toilets.

1715
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:43,640
So hold it to frame.

1716
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:44,640
Hold on.

1717
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:45,640
They got fucking handrails.

1718
01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:46,640
They do.

1719
01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:52,040
The grip pad and a fucking they got a seat belt.

1720
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:55,040
Like the cell port.

1721
01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:56,040
Yeah.

1722
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:57,680
Just get ready for that fucking shit.

1723
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:01,840
But today, technically yesterday as I'm writing this, I proved myself wrong.

1724
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:06,000
This all started whenever I decided to order some hot pot from my favorite local restaurant.

1725
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:08,200
This place offers a range of spiciness levels.

1726
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:12,360
Level one for those who can and cannot handle any heat whatsoever.

1727
01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:13,960
Level one for a mild kick.

1728
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:15,680
Level two for a medium amount of heat.

1729
01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:18,520
Think spicy ramen or hot buffalo wings.

1730
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:23,260
Level three for a serious dose of burn your mouth heat and level four, which can only

1731
01:14:23,260 --> 01:14:32,760
be intended for consumption by the descendants of the depth of the deepest depths of hell.

1732
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:36,260
I started at level two my first time and found it quite bearable.

1733
01:14:36,260 --> 01:14:41,200
So I moved up to level three from there, which I had several times and was still about to

1734
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:44,040
consume without any serious discomfort.

1735
01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:45,040
Fast forward to today.

1736
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:49,320
Whenever I decided it's time to kick things up a notch, I ordered the level four spice

1737
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:53,480
with which the restaurant describes as simply burning hot.

1738
01:14:53,480 --> 01:14:54,480
Jesus.

1739
01:14:54,480 --> 01:14:59,080
Do not use plastic while we're porcelain.

1740
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,280
We'll melt them.

1741
01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:05,720
This is definitely a noticeable burn with each bite, but that's not too unusual.

1742
01:15:05,720 --> 01:15:10,480
At first, I attribute it mostly to the temperature of the soup base and simply ignore the mounting

1743
01:15:10,480 --> 01:15:12,800
pain because the food is delicious.

1744
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:14,960
Meanwhile, my nose is running like crazy.

1745
01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:18,880
My lips and chin are stinging from stray drops of the broth.

1746
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:19,880
God dang.

1747
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:23,440
And each new mouthful burns so badly I'm panting in the useless attempt to give my tongue

1748
01:15:23,440 --> 01:15:25,280
a respite from the heat.

1749
01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:30,400
I only managed to eat about half of it before I noticed that I'm feeling uncomfortably full.

1750
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:34,880
I then have a bit of water, which obviously does nothing to assuage the burning.

1751
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:35,880
He's really-

1752
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:36,880
Assuse you.

1753
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:39,240
God dang, Stephen King.

1754
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:43,200
I know that milk is supposed to help, but I despise this stuff and I don't keep it around

1755
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,200
the house, so that's not an option.

1756
01:15:45,200 --> 01:15:46,200
I quickly Google-

1757
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:48,960
I despise this milk.

1758
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,880
It's a natural component of our daily life.

1759
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:52,880
I despise this milk.

1760
01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:55,880
You're too good for milk, you sack of shit.

1761
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:57,320
You're lactose intolerant.

1762
01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:58,600
Hey man, I'm lactose intolerant.

1763
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,320
I'll eat ice cream today.

1764
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:01,800
Shit tomorrow.

1765
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:05,240
I quickly Google search tells me starchy foods like bread can help.

1766
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,000
I have some crackers on hand.

1767
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,000
Same thing, right?

1768
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Kind of.

1769
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:11,400
The mouth burning sensation goes away within a few minutes of eating the crackers, so I

1770
01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,600
think I'm all in the clear.

1771
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:16,180
Wrong, good old letters.

1772
01:16:16,180 --> 01:16:19,760
That's when the full deadly force of the hot pot finally hits my gut.

1773
01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:20,760
Guess what?

1774
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:23,080
Guess what?

1775
01:16:23,080 --> 01:16:25,320
The onset of the pain is rapid.

1776
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:30,160
The mild discomfort I had been feeling transforms into gut wrenching agony.

1777
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:31,160
Jesus.

1778
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,280
The sudden rush of sensation takes my breath away.

1779
01:16:33,280 --> 01:16:34,280
It's done.

1780
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:38,800
Doesn't it look like the kid got fucking sent to fucking the hospital because of the hot

1781
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:39,800
cheetos?

1782
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:40,800
Yeah.

1783
01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:41,800
It's going to be like that, as he was like-

1784
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:44,800
Doubled over, I rushed for the bathroom.

1785
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:45,800
But guess what?

1786
01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:47,920
I got punched.

1787
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:49,860
Vacating my bowels helps only slightly.

1788
01:16:49,860 --> 01:16:51,760
It takes the 10 of the- Vacating my bowels.

1789
01:16:51,760 --> 01:16:55,800
That's really like quite the, I don't know-

1790
01:16:55,800 --> 01:16:56,800
The linguist?

1791
01:16:56,800 --> 01:17:01,240
Yeah, but almost like he's doing it to present himself as somebody that is that smart.

1792
01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:02,240
Yeah.

1793
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:03,440
Instead of just making it sound relatable.

1794
01:17:03,440 --> 01:17:04,440
Right.

1795
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:07,880
I'm fucking ran to the bathroom and I shit myself is what I want to put.

1796
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:09,480
It takes the pain down.

1797
01:17:09,480 --> 01:17:12,920
It takes the pain from 100 down to about 99.8.

1798
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:13,920
There you go.

1799
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:15,120
Close enough.

1800
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:17,720
But I still feel like I'm on death's door.

1801
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:19,040
Only I make it off the toilet.

1802
01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:22,840
Once I make it off the toilet, I flop on the floor just outside of the bathroom door.

1803
01:17:22,840 --> 01:17:26,320
A sensation like hell fire is ravaging the lining of my stomach.

1804
01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:30,200
I'm rendered immobile, cursing, gasping, drooling.

1805
01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:32,640
I try to take some deep breaths, but it doesn't help.

1806
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:36,880
I quickly have to stagger back to the toilet for a round two.

1807
01:17:36,880 --> 01:17:41,640
This time, as I'm hunched over, shaking, sweating, and groaning, my mouth starts to fill with

1808
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:42,640
bile.

1809
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:43,640
Does it throw up too?

1810
01:17:43,640 --> 01:17:44,640
Yeah.

1811
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:48,280
Now, I'm not sure which end needs more to be pointed at the toilet.

1812
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:52,160
I stand up and flush and then lean over the toilet for a moment.

1813
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:57,280
The new position sends fresh shock waves of stabbing, twisting pain through my guts.

1814
01:17:57,280 --> 01:18:02,160
I decide I don't want to know what that hot pot feels like coming back up through my nose,

1815
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:04,520
so I forcibly swallow back the bile.

1816
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:07,040
Again, I find myself face down on the floor.

1817
01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:09,820
Then we'll come out the air force.

1818
01:18:09,820 --> 01:18:14,000
This time I am, with trembling hands, searching the web for a fight.

1819
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:15,640
It just suffices me to sweat.

1820
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:18,440
I get quickened on the booty hole on fire.

1821
01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:19,440
Need advice.

1822
01:18:19,440 --> 01:18:24,960
Surely, I need medical attention, but I'm in too much pain to get myself anywhere, and

1823
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:32,160
while I seriously contemplate contacting emergency services, the humiliation factor is too great.

1824
01:18:32,160 --> 01:18:37,800
My web search for extreme stomach pain spicy food yields mostly unhelpful results.

1825
01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:39,720
These fools with their cute little ad-varticul-

1826
01:18:39,720 --> 01:18:48,080
About avoiding spicy foods before bedtime and drinking nonfat milk cannot conceive of

1827
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:50,480
the predicament I'm in.

1828
01:18:50,480 --> 01:18:54,540
This feels like every stomach flu I have ever had as a kid dialed up to 10.

1829
01:18:54,540 --> 01:18:56,480
It feels the way torture must feel.

1830
01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:59,920
This is the type of pain that makes enemy spies confess any and everything just to make

1831
01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:00,920
it stop.

1832
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:02,600
During around three or four on the toilet-

1833
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:04,560
Fuck, how much did you eat?

1834
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,800
I mean, there's only so much in your asshole, homie.

1835
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:07,800
Honestly.

1836
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:08,800
You're just crying.

1837
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:10,760
You can't just get a shit air.

1838
01:19:10,760 --> 01:19:11,760
Good.

1839
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:13,880
You're farting, yeah.

1840
01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:17,760
I eventually regain enough mental clarity to remember that the existence of Tums-

1841
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:18,760
Mental clarity?

1842
01:19:18,760 --> 01:19:19,760
I don't like this guy at all.

1843
01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:20,760
I hope he fucking dies.

1844
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:22,640
I mean, not really, but you know.

1845
01:19:22,640 --> 01:19:23,640
Yeah.

1846
01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:25,080
They're fucking annoying.

1847
01:19:25,080 --> 01:19:28,960
I eventually regain enough mental clarity to remember the existence of Tums.

1848
01:19:28,960 --> 01:19:32,440
I flee myself off of the toilet, crawl out of the kitchen, and proceed to dump the entire

1849
01:19:32,440 --> 01:19:36,480
contents of the medical cabinet onto the floor in search for them.

1850
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:39,280
I could cry from relief whenever I find the bottle.

1851
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:41,280
Immediately, I take about five tablets.

1852
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:42,280
Jesus.

1853
01:19:42,280 --> 01:19:46,200
Then assume the least painful position I can find on my knees with my face on the floor.

1854
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:47,200
Face down, asshole.

1855
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:48,200
Yep.

1856
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:55,480
That's the way he likes to fuck.

1857
01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:58,960
It takes a few minutes, but the burning sensation in my stomach begins to fade.

1858
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:03,160
I have the sense to sit up once I am able so that gravity is doing the work of keeping

1859
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:05,360
the contents of my stomach down.

1860
01:20:05,360 --> 01:20:08,760
After 10 or 15 minutes, I feel well enough to stand up and clean myself up.

1861
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:11,400
I foolishly believe the ordeal to be over.

1862
01:20:11,400 --> 01:20:13,600
I just imagine him not wiping because it's so painful.

1863
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:18,240
He's just got drool on his face, sweat on his brow, and just shit in his pants.

1864
01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:19,600
He just looks a mess.

1865
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:21,520
Snot down his nose.

1866
01:20:21,520 --> 01:20:24,920
After a shower and the cursory clean in the bathroom, I remember that I have some ice

1867
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:29,720
cream in the freezer, and although I'm feeling wildly nauseous, I decided to try a few bites.

1868
01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:31,520
Touching it like milk, asshole.

1869
01:20:31,520 --> 01:20:35,720
Hoping it will take away the lingering burn and minimize my pain later on when the contents

1870
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:38,240
of my stomach pass into my intestines.

1871
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:40,600
Then I crawl into bed and start watching Netflix.

1872
01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:43,320
Before long, I feel my mouth start to water.

1873
01:20:43,320 --> 01:20:44,320
Heavily.

1874
01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:47,920
I first try to ignore it, but this is like nothing I've ever experienced before.

1875
01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:50,360
It's like the, it's like the, every time you're about to throw up, like your mouth

1876
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:53,840
waters, like, for like, to get your mouth ready to vomit.

1877
01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:54,840
Yes it does.

1878
01:20:54,840 --> 01:20:57,280
I can't swallow quickly and have to keep it down.

1879
01:20:57,280 --> 01:21:01,400
I finally, I finally get up when my mouth is filled to bursting with fluid.

1880
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:03,480
Brr brr brr.

1881
01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:05,760
As soon as I'm vertical, I realize my mistake.

1882
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:09,120
I speed to the bathroom just in time to vomit all over the toilet.

1883
01:21:09,120 --> 01:21:10,120
Close enough, I guess.

1884
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,120
The Tums.

1885
01:21:11,120 --> 01:21:14,040
The hot pot is no less spicy coming back up.

1886
01:21:14,040 --> 01:21:18,720
As predicted, my nose and throat now feel as if they are too being ravaged by hellfire.

1887
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:19,880
Rinsing my mouth doesn't help.

1888
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:21,520
Blowing my nose makes it even worse.

1889
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:26,520
I force myself to snort a solution of water and baking soda, which helps mildly, and after

1890
01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:29,200
a few more Tums, from there there's a waiting game.

1891
01:21:29,200 --> 01:21:33,080
Eventually, I start to feel like I'm half alive again, though still too nauseous to

1892
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:34,740
drink water.

1893
01:21:34,740 --> 01:21:37,360
This went all down about 18 hours ago.

1894
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:42,880
I put myself to bed just before 7pm and after about 12 hours of sleep, I still feel pretty

1895
01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:43,880
damn queasy.

1896
01:21:43,880 --> 01:21:44,880
Jesus.

1897
01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:49,560
Don't think I'll be having any more spicy than a piece of plain toast for a while.

1898
01:21:49,560 --> 01:21:52,260
Anyone gone through something similar?

1899
01:21:52,260 --> 01:21:53,260
Not that bad now.

1900
01:21:53,260 --> 01:21:57,120
It's like, jeez, dude.

1901
01:21:57,120 --> 01:22:00,200
That's why it's like if you're not accustomed to eating that kind of level of spicy, just

1902
01:22:00,200 --> 01:22:01,200
don't do it.

1903
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:03,320
You're gonna build up to it.

1904
01:22:03,320 --> 01:22:05,680
I mean, you're Mexican and you can't do this.

1905
01:22:05,680 --> 01:22:07,480
I can do that if I gotta build to it.

1906
01:22:07,480 --> 01:22:09,480
You gotta build to it, though.

1907
01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:14,600
I could probably eat, uh, well, no, because I had some spicy yesterday.

1908
01:22:14,600 --> 01:22:16,600
That shit blew out my asshole today.

1909
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:22,920
Like, it, it, it, it, like, that spicy, kind of like, a spicy shit, right, is different.

1910
01:22:22,920 --> 01:22:27,960
It just, like, ejects from your asshole.

1911
01:22:27,960 --> 01:22:28,960
You don't shit, right?

1912
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:31,120
And that shit fucking explodes.

1913
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:37,080
Like, before you got here for the stream, right, or for the session, like, I was like,

1914
01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:41,360
I gotta punch it like 3, 3.40 in the afternoon, like, and I like, it wasn't what I was like,

1915
01:22:41,360 --> 01:22:42,360
oh, no, I'm fucked.

1916
01:22:42,360 --> 01:22:45,800
I was like, oh, I gotta take another shit, because I had taken a shit that morning.

1917
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:48,200
I had two shits today.

1918
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:51,040
Both of considerable size.

1919
01:22:51,040 --> 01:22:53,600
And this second one looked like lava.

1920
01:22:53,600 --> 01:23:01,800
Cause I had pozole, and if you know what pozole is, if they're spicy, they come out just as

1921
01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:02,800
red as they went in.

1922
01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:06,400
Along with a little bit of blood.

1923
01:23:06,400 --> 01:23:07,400
No.

1924
01:23:07,400 --> 01:23:10,080
I have a pretty proficient shitting system.

1925
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:16,360
A lot of fiber and water, so, uh, when I go, like, I can go, like, I ruin the fucking sewage

1926
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:20,160
system in this neighborhood for my amount of shitting.

1927
01:23:20,160 --> 01:23:22,720
But, that's all I got for Reddit today.

1928
01:23:22,720 --> 01:23:23,720
Anything else to add?

1929
01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:25,040
How do I explain it?

1930
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:27,760
Like, it's, it just, like, it falls out of your asshole.

1931
01:23:27,760 --> 01:23:31,200
Like, it's almost like it doesn't even go through your cheeks.

1932
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:34,480
Like, it just drops down.

1933
01:23:34,480 --> 01:23:39,160
Like a faucet opening up and releasing the first bit of water.

1934
01:23:39,160 --> 01:23:44,400
Like, the minute my toilet hit the, my ass hit the toilet, that shit came out like a

1935
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:45,880
faucet that was clogged up.

1936
01:23:45,880 --> 01:23:50,120
Like, you know, like the first, it's always like that dirt and stuff and like grass and

1937
01:23:50,120 --> 01:23:52,480
just grass.

1938
01:23:52,480 --> 01:23:53,480
Just lamb in her float?

1939
01:23:53,480 --> 01:23:57,440
Yeah, it just blew out.

1940
01:23:57,440 --> 01:24:00,480
If you have those too much, it'll fuck up your asshole.

1941
01:24:00,480 --> 01:24:03,200
Like, those watery shits.

1942
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:04,200
Like carbon?

1943
01:24:04,200 --> 01:24:06,480
Yeah, like the horrendous ass shits he has.

1944
01:24:06,480 --> 01:24:09,560
Like, it really, it's happened a lot actually, doesn't it?

1945
01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:14,400
Well, no, it wasn't him that went to the Mexican restaurant and said, I, I ain't ever

1946
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:15,400
come back here.

1947
01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:16,400
I've never had solid shit.

1948
01:24:16,400 --> 01:24:17,400
It was like being raped from the inside.

1949
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:20,640
Yeah, like I guess he always had wet shit.

1950
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:21,640
It's weird.

1951
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:23,880
Like, it's like, it's weird about life, right?

1952
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:25,400
Like, you can't be one or the other.

1953
01:24:25,400 --> 01:24:28,880
It has to be that perfect medium, that Goldilocks.

1954
01:24:28,880 --> 01:24:32,520
So you can't have two solid shits or you can't have two soft shits.

1955
01:24:32,520 --> 01:24:34,960
A perfect medium of shit.

1956
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:37,640
Too solid, they don't come out, they get stuck in your ass.

1957
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:41,720
Too wet, they start pretty much like chafing your asshole.

1958
01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:42,720
It's like, well, fuck.

1959
01:24:42,720 --> 01:24:45,640
So you gotta watch what you eat.

1960
01:24:45,640 --> 01:24:48,680
Yeah, you get to watch it twice.

1961
01:24:48,680 --> 01:24:49,680
In and out.

1962
01:24:49,680 --> 01:24:53,680
Throw in a little bit of corn and you're good to go.

1963
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:55,760
Don't eat corn, there's no nutritional value.

1964
01:24:55,760 --> 01:25:01,600
And I've never seen corn not in its full form on the way out.

1965
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:03,840
It comes out perfect as it went in.

1966
01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:07,040
You can throw that shit, you can throw it, I can clean it and throw it back into a fucking

1967
01:25:07,040 --> 01:25:09,040
bag and you wouldn't notice the difference.

1968
01:25:09,040 --> 01:25:11,640
Hey, don't give some of these weird ass people some ideas.

1969
01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:13,120
I'll give you all the ideas.

1970
01:25:13,120 --> 01:25:17,680
Remember, that's how they figured out about that specific kind of coffee.

1971
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:18,960
What?

1972
01:25:18,960 --> 01:25:22,520
Where the goats eat it and then shit it out.

1973
01:25:22,520 --> 01:25:24,000
I have no idea what we're talking about.

1974
01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:25,000
I'll show you later.

1975
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:28,000
I don't want you to show me nothing about conving assholes.

1976
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:30,000
Alright, I guess that's it then.

1977
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:32,200
We'll talk to you guys on the next one.

1978
01:25:32,200 --> 01:25:41,400
Adios.