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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm Michael.

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I'm Noe.

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And we are the Knights of Entertainment podcast covering your favorite and unknown movies,

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games, anime, and more weekly.

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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.

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All right, let's go ahead and get started.

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All right, guys, we start, we always start cozy nights with some breaking news, as breaking

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as it can be when it's weekly.

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You know what I mean?

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I get all this stuff from the Associated Press app.

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So I will cite the source and I'll read it verbatim.

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So it's more intelligent than I can say it from my own brain.

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This one doesn't have an author though.

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So it's, it came out January 11th, 2024.

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Fruit Striped Gum to Bite the Dust After a Half-Century of Highly Abbreviated Rainbow

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Flavors.

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Really?

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Oh, yeah, it's gone.

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It's done.

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This was, I guess it was written in San Francisco.

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So Fruit Striped Gum, something of a childhood icon for many gum chewers over the past five

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decades will soon head over the rainbow with its multicolored zebra mascot, Yipes, seemingly

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for good.

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I don't know that mascot's name was Yipes.

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Right, me either.

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I mean, I know about the gum.

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Everyone, yeah.

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It wasn't that good.

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It was good for a second.

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For like the first five seconds that you chew on it.

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The manufacturer of Fruit Striped Gum, the Chicago company Ferreira Candy Co. gave the

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magazine Food and Wine a statement Tuesday that is discontinuing the product on Wednesday.

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So I don't know if it's last Wednesday or it's already gone.

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So I'm assuming it's gone now forever.

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So if you can find them, they're going to be worth something maybe eventually.

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An unidentified company spokesman did the same for CNN.

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Ferreira did not respond to multiple requests from the Associated Press on Thursday seeking

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confirmation of his decision.

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So they didn't really confirm or deny.

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Right.

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Even though they just told Food and Wine.

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Yeah.

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So Food Striped may have been best known for its oversized packs of spectral striped gum

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sticks, each bearing distinct fruit flavor that was different flavors.

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That bitch was one fucking flavor.

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It's like Skittles.

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And the minute it touched air, it was dry.

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Each bearing distinct flavor, fruit flavor that typically faded away quickly upon chewing.

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There you go.

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So we are on the same page.

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We all know.

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For years, the packs contained temporary tattoos of brand mascot Yipes, a rainbow zebra that

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kids could apply to their arms, legs, and faces.

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I do remember that.

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I didn't know they had tattoos.

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Yeah.

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Are those temporary tattoos?

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Yeah.

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Where you wet the back of them and they stick to you?

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I didn't know they had them for gum.

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Gum chewers often joked that the tattoos lasted far longer than the gum slayer.

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That one got me.

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So notorious for the gum's ephemeral taste that it ended up in a fitting brief gag on

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the animated sitcom Family Guy.

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I haven't seen it.

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Yipes also had a minor cult following, especially once the company coined Yipes Stripes as a

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commercial catchphrase.

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The gum was first launched by a bygone candy maker, Beach Nut, in 1969, but ended up at

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Ferrero following a series of corporate handovers and mergers.

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Ferrero itself is a unit of the Italian conglomerate Ferrero.

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Ferrero shape?

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I don't know.

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It just says Ferrero.

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I think that's the one that makes those chocolates.

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So there you go.

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That was Stripe gum.

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Just like their flavor.

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I was wondering why at the dollar store they were all of a sudden they used to be there

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all the time this last year and now they're all gone.

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Isn't that weird?

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Just finding out something randomly.

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Yeah.

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That was like a staple of human of American culture was stripes.

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Like everybody knew that the flavor didn't last.

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Everybody knew that the sticks of the gum were hard as hell.

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Everyone knew that damn zebra.

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They say it was red, but I could have sort of just black and white.

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I thought he was black and white too for the longest.

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Maybe the main.

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Maybe one is.

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Maybe.

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Yeah.

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All right.

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So moving on.

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There's no more gum then.

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No more fruit stripes for anybody.

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Not that anyone remembered.

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I bet you now that it's gone, now people are like, oh, but it's my favorite.

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No, it wasn't your favorite.

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Don't you lie.

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I feel like if you...

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Even in the article they even say it's like, well, the flavor didn't last very long.

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It's like a staple of that gum basically.

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It turns to rubber.

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It's the best gum ever.

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Let's see.

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Next one up.

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This one's pretty dark.

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This was written by Jonel Alessio, also from AP.

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This was written yesterday.

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Quaker Oats expands recall of granola bars in Ceres for salmonella risk.

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So there you go.

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Don't eat Quaker's granola.

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The Quaker Oats company has added two dozen additional types of granola bars.

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They have that much granola bars?

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I thought it was like two, like chocolate, peanut butter, dirt.

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Then you got s'mores, then you got...

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Oh God.

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There's a whole list of them.

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Cereal and snack bars.

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Let me start over.

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The Quaker Oats company has added two dozen additional types of granola bars, cereals

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and snack foods to a December recall over potential salmonella contamination.

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Okay, so that includes the oat mills and everything then on the two dozen.

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Yeah, that depends.

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Probably, I guess there is a bunch of like strawberry and banana and stuff like that.

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Yeah, you get all the oat mills.

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You get the oatmeal bar.

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Just when I was going to start eating oat and Quaker Oats for a healthy breakfast, who

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figured I'm doing the whole thing about like now I just get out of my hand now while I

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oh come on.

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Going back, I guarantee you there's going to be a shit ton of people that want that

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zebra gum now.

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Yeah, probably.

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The company which is owned by PepsiCo, which I didn't know, they don't Pepsi own fucking

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Quaker Oats.

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They're Pepsi own Lay's too.

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And now they own Lay's?

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Sick motherfuckers.

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That's funny because if you work in Oklahoma City at the Lay's bagging place or the distribution

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center, you can't even have a Coke product in there.

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My last two weeks of work and I just break a Coke out at the break room.

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Oh, they'd be so mad.

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So the company which is owned by PepsiCo announced the additional recall in the US and Canada

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on Thursday.

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The expanded recall includes Quaker, chewy granola bars and cereals, Captain Crunch bars.

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Captain Crunch and select cereals, Gammisa, Marvys cereal, Gatorade, peanut butter, chocolate,

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protein bars, Munchies, Munch Mix and snack boxes that contain those products.

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Well, fuck.

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You think this will be a bigger news report, people dying from salmonella from eating Quaker

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Oats.

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The US Food and Drug Administration has received at least 24 reports of adverse events related

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to the products initially recalled, but no illnesses have been confirmed to be linked

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to the foods and agencies posted on Friday.

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They're doing it preliminary then just in case.

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Yeah, that's smart.

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I prevented it like a preemptive thing.

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Adversive events can include medical problems, but also complaints about off taste or color

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of the product.

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This looks weird.

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I'm still eating.

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The defective packaging of non-medical issues, the officials say.

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FDA will continue to investigate the reports.

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And it's only what 24 used?

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What?

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It's only 24 people.

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24 people?

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24 reports.

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But think about that out of a hundred and something million, sorry, 300 and something

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million people that live in the United States.

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And Canada.

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Plus you add Canada's population.

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Well, they're so small, but vast area, but small population.

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But you have that many in only 24 cases?

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That's pretty lucky.

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That's not much.

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Salmonella infection can cause fever, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain.

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In rare cases, the bacterial effects can be fatal.

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Fuck.

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So can go into Taco Bell.

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The consumers should check their pantries for any of the products listed and throw them

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away.

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What about a refund?

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The company's recall website has additional information, details of reimbursement.

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Oh, there you go.

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The Associated Press Health and Science Department receives support from the Howard Hughes Medical

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Institute Science and Educational Medical Media Group.

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The AP is slowly responsible for all content.

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Okay.

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How do they have to do that?

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Is that a legal thing?

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All right.

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Let's see what else we got here.

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Here's one.

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No, I don't like that one.

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Here's one.

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This is from Peru.

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Happened yesterday.

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The title is No Author.

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They're not aliens.

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That's diverted from Peru officials who seize two doll-like figures.

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So this is the lime of Peru.

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Aliens they are not.

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That's what forensic experts in Peru said Friday about two doll-like figures and an

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alleged three-fingered hand that customs authorities in the South American country seized last

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year from a shipment heading to Mexico.

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The forensic experts from Peru, the prosecutor's office, said the officers made it with paper

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glue, metal, and human and animal bones.

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Fuck.

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They tried to pass off aliens.

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The findings quash some people's belief that figures come from an alien center or from

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another planet, all of which is totally false.

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So forensic archaeologist Flavio Estrada, that's a great name, who led the analysis.

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The conclusion is simple.

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They are dolls assembled with bones of animals from this planet with modern synthetic glues.

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Therefore, they are not assembled during pre-Hispanic times, Estrada told reporters.

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They are not extraterrestrials, they are not aliens.

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There you go.

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The prosecutor's office has not yet determined who owns the objects.

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Officials on Friday would only say that a Mexican citizen was an intended recipient of

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the objects before they were seized by customs agents in October.

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So some guy tried to pass off with alien craze some fake dolls.

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Why didn't he just make them at his fucking house?

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Why do you have them shipped from Peru to Mexico?

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That's stupid.

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Mexican journalist Jose Jaime Masuna.

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Hey man, some of these names are off.

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And so Mexican Alhambra became the subject of international ridicule in September when

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he went before the country's Congress to present two boxes of his supposed mummies found in

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Peru.

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Must be those two.

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Maybe.

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Or associated with it anyway.

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He along with others came to the conclusion that they were non-human beings that are not

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part of our terrestrial evolution.

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In November, Masuna reported a return to Mexico's Congress a group of Peruvian doctors that

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spent more than three hours pressing the case for non-human beings that he said were found

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in Peru, where he made similar claims in 2017 and reported by the Peruvian Prosecutor's

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Office that he had found that alleged alien bodies were actually recently manufactured

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dolls which had been covered with a mixture of paper and synthetic glues.

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They were the same fucking things.

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He just did it again.

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I'm not a detective, but man, if it's the same guy going to Mexico or from Peru to Mexico,

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it's the same guy.

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Yeah.

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What's his name?

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Where are you?

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Yeah, this journalist, Jose Jaime Masuna.

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That's you.

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You did it again.

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You tried to do it.

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Why do you keep pulling him from Peru into another country?

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There must be some like historical alien myth in Peru.

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So for him to prove it, he has to find the things in Peru.

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Isn't that where the, it's in Peru where the, what's the name of that place?

257
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,160
The ancient city.

258
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,160
Hooters?

259
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,120
Where the old ladies work now.

260
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:25,320
No, God, that's going to bother me.

261
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,360
All right, I'll keep reading.

262
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,640
They are not the remains of ancestral aliens that have tried to present.

263
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,840
The 2017 report stated, experts on Friday showed reports a couple of two foot tall,

264
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,760
long dolls dressed in red, orange and green clothes.

265
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,640
They said examination showed the bones of birds, dogs and other animals were used to

266
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,640
create the dolls.

267
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,200
What do you need bones, I guess to make it look like an actual entity?

268
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,200
Machu Picchu.

269
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,200
Machu Picchu.

270
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,200
Sounds like a condom.

271
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:54,920
Meanwhile, an alleged three finger hand was subjected to x-ray examination.

272
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,680
The strategist said the very poorly built hand was created with human bones.

273
00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,440
See, now you should go to jail, honestly, at this rate.

274
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,440
Weird.

275
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:07,480
We have a guy that's trying to pass off bones in 2017.

276
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,160
He did it again a few months ago, because I remember like last year, around October

277
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,200
maybe, there was a whole uproar on Twitter about aliens.

278
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,900
And now he tried to do it again.

279
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,680
What is the end goal here with him?

280
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:23,680
I don't know, some people want to feel special that they have discovered something, so they

281
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,720
want to be the Christopher Columbus, I guess.

282
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,000
Go deep sea diving.

283
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,480
You'll find some shit that hasn't ever been seen.

284
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:36,400
You'll find a fucking, god damn gigantic octopus that'll drag you to the depths of hell.

285
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,600
You'll also find a submarine.

286
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:43,280
Yeah, well, pieces of it anyway.

287
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,760
You'll find the Titanic too.

288
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,360
Alright, so that's the three news stories for today.

289
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,240
We stay with news, but we move on to historical articles.

290
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:59,760
I got this book here called Common, Curious, and Quirky by Rona Levin out in 2014.

291
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,600
Again, the subtitle is News Stories from Centuries Past.

292
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:10,680
Basically, she put together a series of stories from the years 1729 to 1930.

293
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:16,120
And the reason she wrote it is because how fascinating she was with how much society

294
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,200
changes, but how little human beings change in general.

295
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:27,440
So it's kind of a glimpse into the past of how much we've developed socially, but we

296
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,240
haven't really, human nature is always the same.

297
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:36,160
So I figured I'm going to pull out 18 stories, but two between every episode.

298
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,880
So I don't want to read every single one in here.

299
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,720
I don't want to do it to Levin, but if you like the stories, the little articles I read

300
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,520
for you, give the book a try.

301
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:49,960
So we start with article number one for us.

302
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:55,040
This is all the way back to 1813 from the Cambridge Chronicle and Journal, the 1st of

303
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,280
January.

304
00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,600
The headline was Farmers Exploits Bring the House Down.

305
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,800
And by the way, this is Old English, so we'll interpret afterward.

306
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:11,000
On Saturday, the previous Saturday, Mr. Woodier, a farmer from the parish of Leviton in Devon,

307
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:16,760
having purchased 20 pounds, 9 kilograms, weight of gunpowder and bashburton, took it into

308
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:23,280
a bag, took it, can't even read this, took it in a bag to the shop of Mr. Chalk, blacksmith,

309
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,960
and while waiting for his horse, untied the mouth of the bag.

310
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:32,960
So basically he was waiting for his horse to get, I guess his hooves, iron, whatever.

311
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:37,400
And so he untied the mouth of the bag to put it in a stump for the purpose of balancing

312
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,400
the weight.

313
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,840
Unfortunately, a spark of fire from the ammo communicated to the powder, which instantly

314
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,220
blew up the house and another adjoining.

315
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:46,960
So basically he had a bag of gunpowder.

316
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:47,960
Yes.

317
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:48,960
Oh my gosh.

318
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,920
He went into the blacksmith's shop.

319
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,640
He was reshoeing his horses.

320
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,160
Yeah, reshoeing his horse.

321
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,360
He opened it up to throw a stone in there to balance the weight out.

322
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,680
And the guy was smashing away at an anvil.

323
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:08,820
And one of the spikes fell into the bag and it blew up two houses.

324
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,680
So Chalk, his apprentice, and three children were buried in the ruins but were dug out

325
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,520
without sustaining material injury.

326
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,520
Crazy, huh?

327
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,520
Yeah.

328
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:16,520
Wooded your head and arm broken.

329
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,000
The crash was tremendous and the shock was felt throughout the town.

330
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,800
So the whole town just blew up.

331
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,600
Why is it hurting?

332
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,600
Explosion.

333
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,640
Blow up two houses.

334
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,640
That's a lot of gunpowder.

335
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,360
Twenty pounds just for two houses.

336
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,360
Kind of like wild.

337
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,600
Twenty pounds of gunpowder is a lot of gunpowder.

338
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,680
Is it?

339
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,680
Think about it.

340
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:40,200
The people that are using muskets and stuff like that, like reenactment things, where

341
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,040
they have the pouch of gunpowder, that's a small pouch.

342
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,520
There's not much in there.

343
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,840
Like twenty pounds of it?

344
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,400
Think about how much twenty pounds of cat litter is.

345
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,800
It's a lot of cat litter.

346
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,200
I'm just saying like in the scope of it blowing up two houses, that's a lot.

347
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,560
My guess is that it also became a dust.

348
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,560
Like whenever...

349
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,560
Man.

350
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,000
I guess it must have been other stuff in the blacksmith shop.

351
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,360
It just blew up as well.

352
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,360
Oh yeah.

353
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,720
The horse must have been like, they didn't even explain the horse.

354
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:10,720
What happened to the horse?

355
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,720
It died.

356
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,200
Maybe.

357
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,560
Alright, this next story happened in 1830.

358
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,360
From written in the New Amtter Mercury, 11 September.

359
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,280
Fatal recipe for dinner date, which didn't pan out.

360
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,840
Not the best title for something as grievous as what happened here.

361
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:29,840
Right.

362
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,920
And this is bad by the way.

363
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:37,200
On Thursday last, Mrs. Shaw, wife of Thomas Shaw, Mercer and Draper boiled a leg of mutton

364
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:41,200
for the dinner of her family in a saucepan which had some days previous been used to

365
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,520
boil arsenic for the purpose of destroying vermin.

366
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,520
Oh fuck.

367
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,680
When the dinner was prepared, Mrs. Shaw sent part of the broth to a young man who was unwell

368
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,840
and partook of some herself.

369
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:54,240
The Reverend John Hughes, a Wesley minister who called in was invited to dinner.

370
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:58,040
He and Mrs. Shaw sat down and were in the act of eating the broth, but Mrs. Shaw was

371
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,800
taken suddenly ill and as the use previously made of the saucepan in which she prepared

372
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,720
the broth returned to her mind, she decided to eat no more.

373
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,640
So she realized, hey, I used this for...

374
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,880
She didn't even wash the pan.

375
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,300
I don't understand.

376
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,200
She made arsenic to kill rats, I'm guessing.

377
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,600
The next day she's like, let's make some delicious chicken broth.

378
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,600
And then it gets even worse.

379
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,880
A messenger was immediately dispatched for medical assistance.

380
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:25,420
The unfortunate woman lingered in gray paint until Saturday evening when she expired.

381
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,120
So she ended up dying.

382
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:30,080
The young man to whom part of it had been sent discovered his poisonous quality and

383
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,680
threw it away from his stuff.

384
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,800
So he threw himself up.

385
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,800
As did also the Reverend John Hughes.

386
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,280
They are out of danger, but Mr. Shaw continues to be very ill.

387
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:45,600
So they threw it up knowing it was arsenic, but the husband didn't, Mr. Shaw, neither

388
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,600
did the wife.

389
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:47,600
I don't know why.

390
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,160
I would have thrown like eight fingers in my mouth.

391
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:58,040
They may have not had the ability to really taste it.

392
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,480
She got ill immediately, is what the article says.

393
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,180
And then she told him not to eat anymore.

394
00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:04,320
So the Reverend threw up.

395
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,760
The guy that she sent it to threw up.

396
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,400
The husband just kept eating it.

397
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,600
But he got sick, so he might not make it.

398
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:11,600
Maybe we don't know actually.

399
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,920
They're making it sound like it's a recent story.

400
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:14,920
Yeah.

401
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,760
He may have not made it either.

402
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,760
Maybe.

403
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,800
Does that not show you back in the 18, what was it, 1830?

404
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,680
They weren't using more running water then.

405
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,680
Let's be fair here.

406
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,120
People aren't as bright as it is today.

407
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,120
It's true.

408
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,520
People would do the same shit.

409
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,520
They would, yeah.

410
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,160
They'll mess with rat poison and then they'll rub their eyeballs or something.

411
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,640
Oh, good job.

412
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,640
Go blind.

413
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,640
Yeah.

414
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,640
All right.

415
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,640
So now that is it for the news today.

416
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,480
The start of our cozy nights.

417
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:48,120
We move on to, of course, the cozy kitchen where I like to go over a little history that

418
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,080
I found in a book.

419
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,240
I enjoy trivia, history, trivia, trivia in general.

420
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,720
And I've got here Uncle John's four ply bathroom meter.

421
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,040
One of the best.

422
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,440
It's still going on to this day.

423
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,440
They're still making new volumes.

424
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,320
I think they came out in 88, a volume every year.

425
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,320
Yeah.

426
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,360
I have like a spin off volumes and I have like 20 of them.

427
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:10,880
Yeah, I know.

428
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:16,360
And I figure if I find something interesting, I'll add it to the story.

429
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:22,120
So this one being food, I decided to add a page 33 of this book.

430
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,280
So I should tell you what the book is.

431
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,600
Uncle Plies Four ply bathroom meter by the Bathroom Reader's Institute.

432
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,360
So this is not my original property.

433
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,080
I will always say everything.

434
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,080
I'm not a plagiarist.

435
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:39,520
I don't yell out some random line from a movie, but everyone knows the line.

436
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,600
So this one's called The Food is Born.

437
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:45,960
These foods are common so that you've probably never seen or never even wondered where they

438
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:46,960
came from.

439
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:47,960
Here are the answers anyway.

440
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,000
So we find out where some of this food came from.

441
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,280
Bagels.

442
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,600
So bagels, according to the Bagels Bagel Book.

443
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,080
Bagels Bagel Book?

444
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,560
Yeah, they got it from the Bagels Bagel Book.

445
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:06,640
In 1683 in Vienna, Austria, a local Jewish baker wanted to thank the king of Poland for

446
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,800
protecting his countrymen from Turkish invaders.

447
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:15,280
He made a special hard roll in the shape of a riding stirrup, the Begel in Austrian, commemorating

448
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,880
the king's favorite pastime and giving the bagel its distinct shape.

449
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,600
So apparently the bagel is shaped like a stirrup for horses.

450
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,600
I didn't know that.

451
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,560
That's why I would have to explain why they're so weirdly curved and with the middle.

452
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,560
Yeah.

453
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,560
Cool.

454
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,760
Next up we got mayonnaise.

455
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:37,600
Originally brought to France by Duke, I can't even say his name, Ricilio, who tasted it

456
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,400
while visiting Mahon, a city on the island of Minaroka.

457
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,200
These are how you should probably pronounce these before.

458
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:51,280
It was eventually dubbed Mayonnaise with an H. By French chefs and considered a delicacy

459
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,280
in Europe.

460
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,880
In America, it became known as mayonnaise, but for over a century was still regarded

461
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,960
as suitable for only the most elegant meals.

462
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:03,480
Can you imagine mayonnaise considered an elegant, delectable meal, you know?

463
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,960
Well think of what it takes to make it.

464
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,520
You have to have good oil and vinegar.

465
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:15,200
Finally in 1912, Richard Hellman, a German immigrant began packing it and selling it

466
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,200
in a New York deli.

467
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,880
And now you can get that shit for $3?

468
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,960
The transformed mayonnaise from a carefully prepared treat for the select few to a mass

469
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,960
merchandise condiment.

470
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,600
Here you go, mayonnaise everybody.

471
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,080
And now it's almost on everything.

472
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,080
I love mayonnaise.

473
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,600
I love it with the hint of lemon.

474
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,600
But that's like Spanish.

475
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,520
That's like a Mexican thing that I can only get in a Mexican supermarket.

476
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,480
I tried to find a Walmart, they don't have it.

477
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,160
And we got, oh fuck, the page fucked off.

478
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,160
Fuck.

479
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,620
Let me go back.

480
00:21:44,620 --> 00:21:45,620
The page fucked up.

481
00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:46,620
Sorry.

482
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:48,420
You guys can hear me?

483
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,420
We got Gatorade.

484
00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:53,120
Gatorade, the famous Gatorade.

485
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,760
I do know where this is from though.

486
00:21:55,760 --> 00:22:00,880
According to 60s by Jordan and Jordan Javan, I guess they get it from other books as well,

487
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,880
their own data.

488
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:06,280
In 1965, Dr. Robert Cade was studying the effects of heat exhaustion on football players

489
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,400
at the University of Florida, whose team name is the Gators.

490
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,000
He analyzed the body liquid lost in sweating and within three minutes came up with a formula

491
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,000
for Gatorade.

492
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,400
Three minutes seems like nothing to come up with a formula, but okay.

493
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,640
Two years later, Cade sold the formula to Stokely Van Camp.

494
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,360
One annual sells well over 50 million and Gatorade can be found in the training tables of over

495
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:30,000
300 college sports teams, a thousand high school squads and all but two pro football

496
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,000
teams.

497
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000
That's why it's called Gatorade.

498
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Gatorade, yeah.

499
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,960
I remember the commercials they had for a long time too.

500
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,760
We called it Gatorade.

501
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:42,280
All right, next up is 7UP, a famous soda.

502
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,720
I know this one too.

503
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,760
According to Parade Magazine, in October 1929, just before the Stock Market crash, St. Louis

504
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:55,360
businessman Charles Lee Grib began marketing a beverage called Bib Label Lithium, no, Lithiated

505
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,600
Lemon Lime Soda.

506
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,120
His slogan, take the ouch out of grouch.

507
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,000
The drink was a huge success during the Depression, perhaps because it contained lithium.

508
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,600
I was like, when I heard that, I was like, oh, so it's cocaine like fucking Coca-Cola.

509
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,120
A powerful drug known for prescribed for manic depressives.

510
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,520
The drink's unwieldy name was later changed to 7UP.

511
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,520
The 7UP stood for its seven ounce bottle, the F for its bottoms up or for the bubbles

512
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,640
rising from its heavy carbonation, which was later reduced.

513
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,600
I want to try the original carbonation level.

514
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,600
That must have been strong as fuck.

515
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:26,080
Apparently it was like really, really, damn.

516
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,760
The lithium was listed on the label until the midnight in the mid forties.

517
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,240
They used to just do whatever back in the day.

518
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,960
You could eat arsenic out of a broth.

519
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:43,360
You could drink, they just gave you morphine for no reason.

520
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,800
They put it in your toothpaste and stuff.

521
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,160
God, they used to be free of this back in the day.

522
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,080
No one, no one regulations on it.

523
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,800
No wonder life expectancy was so short.

524
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,800
Jesus.

525
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:58,800
You're drinking lithium in your soda and coke in your Coca-Cola.

526
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,800
God.

527
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,200
Next up is chewing gum.

528
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:06,360
So this one's American Indians chewed resin from a freshly cut spruce bark and colonial

529
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:10,960
settlers occasionally chewed a limp paraffin, but it wasn't until the late 1860s that chewing

530
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,200
gum became a commercial success.

531
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,640
A Staten Island inventor named Thomas Adams noticed that his visiting neighbor from Mexico,

532
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:24,200
the deposed dictator Santa Anna, seemed to enjoy chewing lumps of gum from the sapodilla

533
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,360
plant now known as chicle.

534
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:31,520
Adams said chicle was better than paraffin and went to market with Adams New York gum,

535
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,520
stabbing and stretching.

536
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,720
Later he tried adding flavor and found that licorice tasted best.

537
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,200
Still later he invented a gum making machine that made a mass production possible.

538
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:45,200
So a deposed dictator from Mexico was just chewing gum like substance and some random

539
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,360
guy was like, how did you become friends with a disposed dictator?

540
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:51,680
That'd be like if freaking Saddam Hussein had lived next door to me.

541
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,680
You know what I mean?

542
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,680
Does that not sound weird?

543
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,680
It does.

544
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,680
Oh Santa Anna.

545
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:56,680
Oh fuck.

546
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:57,680
That was so weird to me.

547
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:03,360
He's over there chewing the chicle.

548
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,960
This one, this one's wild by the way, popsicles.

549
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,160
Because of the age of the person, how long they kept it in their memory until they implemented

550
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,780
in mass production.

551
00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:16,000
So 11 year old Frank Epperson accidentally left a mixture of powdered soda mix and water

552
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,800
on his back porch one night, one winter night in 1905.

553
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,060
The next morning, Frank found the frozen, the stuff frozen with the stirring stick standing

554
00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,760
straight up in a jar.

555
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,180
He pulled it up and had the first Epperson icicle or Epsicle.

556
00:25:28,180 --> 00:25:30,720
He later renamed it popsicle since he had made it with soda pop.

557
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,640
It was painted in 1923, 18 years later.

558
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:38,520
So he invented the popsicle and he just kept it to himself for 18 fucking years.

559
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,000
Probably shared it with his friends and stuff, right?

560
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,920
He's lucky no one stole the idea and he patented it in 1823.

561
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,920
Weird huh?

562
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:47,920
Yeah.

563
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:53,160
It makes me surprised how people, there might be people with great ideas out there, they

564
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:58,280
just use it for personal use that we'll never know about.

565
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,040
Last one is the ice cream cone.

566
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:05,520
This one came out of necessity as opposed to like invention.

567
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,680
It happened at the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis where the hot dog and the hamburger

568
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,760
were also popularized.

569
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,840
An ice cream vendor who was selling cups of frozen dessert had so many customers in the

570
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,800
hot weather that he ran out of cups.

571
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,440
In desperation, he looked around to see if another nearby vendor would have some spare

572
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,920
containers, but all he could find was waffle concession.

573
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,480
He quickly bought some waffles and began selling them wrapped around a scoop of ice cream.

574
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,160
The such became even more popular than the original and spread around the world, the

575
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,160
country.

576
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,920
So out of necessity because he needed, he ran out of cups, he invented the fucking ice

577
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,120
cream cone.

578
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,120
I love invention.

579
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:41,320
I love history because it's a random way people find inventions.

580
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,160
Usually it is that way too because it's things that you don't expect to happen, like just

581
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,000
some random shit happens.

582
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000
And there you are.

583
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,780
The world has changed forever.

584
00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:51,720
For better or worse.

585
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,920
Sometimes both.

586
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:53,920
Sometimes both.

587
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:54,920
Alright, so move on.

588
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,720
Like think about it, the inventor of TNT.

589
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,080
He's like, well fuck.

590
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,800
It was a great invention, but it was also one of the worst things he said that he ever

591
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:06,800
invented.

592
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,800
I don't blame him.

593
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,120
I mean, it made him a fucking weapon.

594
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:15,160
He had to have known people would be like, well, you know what I could do with this?

595
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:19,600
The first time someone fucking sharpened a stick, the first time someone sharpened a

596
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,080
stick they're like, you know what I could do with this?

597
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,480
I could start stabbing people with this.

598
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,400
Alright, so we end Cozy Nights with a recipe.

599
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,400
From Women's World.

600
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,320
Don't ask me why I read Women's World.

601
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:36,520
That's my own business.

602
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:42,240
This one is from the January 1st, yeah, 2024 copy of Women's World.

603
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:47,040
I'll actually explain after this why I read Women's World.

604
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,060
Pig in a blanket.

605
00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:52,960
These mini francs are rolled up with a dab of apricot preserves for a hint of irresistible

606
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,220
sweetness.

607
00:27:54,220 --> 00:27:59,480
You are looking at a serving of six, active time 30 minutes, total time 45, calories 327,

608
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:05,800
protein 8 grams, fat 22 grams, 8 grams saturated, cholesterol 55 milligrams, carbs 19 grams,

609
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:11,720
sodium 842 milligrams, that's a lot, fiber 1 gram, sugar 3 grams.

610
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:19,280
You basically need half of an 11 ounce package of pie crisp mists, 1 1 third cups, 2 tablespoons

611
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:26,160
of apricot preserves melted, 24 cocktail francs, 1 egg beaten, beaten to absolute death, half

612
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:31,240
a cup of spicy brown mustard.

613
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:36,720
So heat oven to 375 Fahrenheit, lined baking sheet with parchment paper, prepared pie crust

614
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:42,680
mix according to package directions for one crust, on lightly floured surface roll out

615
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:47,560
dough from 12 inch to 9 inch rectangle spread, god that's a lot of complicated shit.

616
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:53,360
Pie preserves are rolled to edges, cut dough into 24, 3 inch to 1 half, how are you supposed

617
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,880
to know this stuff out of your eyeball?

618
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:01,240
To 1 half inch stripes, place one franc on each stripe, roll up overlapping dough and

619
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,920
slightly then press slightly to seal.

620
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:09,640
Place seam sides down on baking sheet, brush with egg, that's what the egg is for, ok.

621
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,280
Bake until lightly browned about 15 minutes, place mustard in small bowls, serve with francs

622
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,280
for dipping, yay.

623
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,920
I guess you do ketchup too, you don't have to be, you don't have to be.

624
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:22,360
Yes but that's a huge debate between people with the ketchup and mustard thing.

625
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,360
Do both, that's what I do.

626
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:29,080
That's also an easy variation, make them sweet and smokey pigs in a blanket in a skillet

627
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:36,160
cook 6 strips of bacon over medium heat, flipping once until browned, 6 to 8 minutes, cut each

628
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,480
into 4, wrap francs with bacon, continue with recipe.

629
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,480
That sounds delicious.

630
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:50,440
Yes but what's also really good is that you get chicken breast, you wrap that in bacon,

631
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,080
then you coat it in brown sugar and chili powder.

632
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,080
Nice.

633
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,400
There you go, two recipes for you guys.

634
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,600
And that's an easy one.

635
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,240
Not for me, I am horrendous.

636
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,040
I could ruin bacon toast.

637
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:10,880
It just comes out either it's still the same or completely blank.

638
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,480
I could ruin a cup of water.

639
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,280
That makes any sense to you people?

640
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:23,600
So the reason I read Women's World magazine, why I have it delivered to my house, is because

641
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:28,280
a while back I was at Walmart and they had these little digests for these things called

642
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:29,280
two minute mysteries.

643
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:35,160
It was little two page mysteries, like 40 mysteries in total and they were little solve

644
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,800
it yourself mysteries which I love to do.

645
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,640
I love anything that involves me solving instead of just reading a mystery.

646
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,200
I love mystery games because I get to solve it.

647
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,480
Yeah I feel so smart.

648
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,680
And they had these two minute mysteries and in the back it said where the mysteries came

649
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,320
from was Women's World.

650
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,960
Lo and behold there was a Women's World copies all over the Walmart too.

651
00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:01,400
So I started getting Women's World and then I realized it was cheaper to get Women's World

652
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,400
delivered to your house as opposed to getting it at Walmart.

653
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,800
Plus they give it to you like two weeks in advance so I'm like on the 15th of January.

654
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:13,360
That one's over there and Walmart is still on the January 8th.

655
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:21,680
And so I read, so now I basically on page, there's no pages on here, 47.

656
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,720
Every time, I love reading cozy mysteries is what I call them.

657
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:30,560
And it's a genre where like it says intellectually taxing is a regular mystery without the gore

658
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:35,080
or the profanity or the crazy sex scenes.

659
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:39,000
So if you love mysteries like I do, I say check out Women's World.

660
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,440
The stories are amazing.

661
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,880
Not always though.

662
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:46,880
So the story for January 1st, 2024 on Cozy Mysteries is called New York Splash written

663
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,360
by Janice Coran.

664
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,880
And some of them aren't even murders, they're just random.

665
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,500
Whatever is something that happens that you have to solve.

666
00:31:54,500 --> 00:32:01,340
This one being like a New Year's Eve party at a company called So It All where this woman

667
00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:06,920
Trish and her companions were all trying to vie for like the win of an award.

668
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:13,680
And the lights go out during the award, before during some weird like glow in the dark limbo

669
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,000
competition, sounds like fun actually.

670
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:20,160
And someone gets knocked over and all their drinks fall on their shirts and have to figure

671
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,480
out who knocked the drinks on the, it basically is really, the way she wrote it is like, it's

672
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,640
really confusing as I'm reading it.

673
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,760
But there's like three, it's really obvious.

674
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,880
Sometimes you have red herring, sometimes you don't, this one did not.

675
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,920
And I solved it in a minute.

676
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:35,920
But give it a try.

677
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,680
I don't know what else to say.

678
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,800
I love Cozy Mysteries and I'll be reading all of these from this book, these books for

679
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,920
a while.

680
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,320
So that is it for Cozy Kitchen.

681
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,400
Cozy Kitchen was over a while ago actually.

682
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,400
This was Cozy Mysteries.

683
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,640
So that's it for Cozy Mysteries.

684
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,800
That's it for the news.

685
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,680
That's it for Cozy Kitchen, the news, Cozy Mysteries, which is the new segment I'm doing.

686
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,720
And we go to the main segment, which is history.

687
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:04,240
I'll do a quick little story.

688
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:09,740
Also from the 4Ply bathroom meter from the Bathroom Institute.

689
00:33:09,740 --> 00:33:13,440
This one is a doozy by the way, if I can find it.

690
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,040
Here it is.

691
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,840
The title is a movie of doom.

692
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,480
Getting a job in a movie can be hazardous to your health and unexpected ways.

693
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:22,840
Hope I'm not cutting out all the way.

694
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,160
I am cutting out a lot because I'm turning away from the mic.

695
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,200
So if you guys can't hear me, half the time I'll fix it on the next show.

696
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,080
I'm always improving.

697
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:37,640
Anyway, the victims are more than 90 of the 220 working on the film The Conqueror, including

698
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:43,000
director Dick Powell, stars John Wayne, Agnes Moorhead, and Susan Hayward, and dozens of

699
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,000
secondary players and crew members.

700
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,160
The circumstances.

701
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:50,480
I can't get a good Cozy Reading spot.

702
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:55,320
On May 19th, by the way, if you've ever seen The Conqueror, it's where John Wayne dresses

703
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,320
up as Genghis Khan.

704
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,320
You heard of that movie?

705
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,320
You ever seen John Wayne?

706
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,320
Imagine him in Mongol face, apparently.

707
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:08,560
But as bad as they didn't care.

708
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,120
He didn't even want to do the movie, apparently.

709
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,120
Really?

710
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,120
Yeah.

711
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,480
Makes me wonder if it was a curse or not.

712
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,460
It was basically about Genghis Khan.

713
00:34:16,460 --> 00:34:21,400
So on May 19th, 1953, the US government tested a powerful A-bomb at Yucca Flats, Nevada,

714
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,440
in St. George, Utah, 100 miles to the west.

715
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,280
People were fascinated by the event.

716
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:29,680
As McLean's magazine described it, some of the people went up the hillside outside town

717
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:30,680
to watch the blast.

718
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,880
Imagine being outside and watching a nuclear explosion.

719
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:33,880
Man.

720
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:38,240
Is that going to happen now, not unless there's one in a war?

721
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:44,360
Yeah, because they watched the blast because no one told them not to.

722
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,000
A few hours later, great ash began to sift over the black hill west of the city.

723
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:52,080
It drifted across the lawns, clogged the laundry on the lines, burned the skin of people in

724
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,800
the streets.

725
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:59,840
The town citizens were instructed to wash off their ash off their body and their automobiles.

726
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:00,840
They were urged not to worry.

727
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:01,840
Don't you worry.

728
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,840
It's just radiation.

729
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:03,840
It'll be alright.

730
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,800
A year later, the cast included the film The Conqueror, a schlock version of the life of

731
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:08,800
Genghis Khan.

732
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,800
John Wayne was Genghis.

733
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:15,400
If you ever look up what he looks like, it is fucking hilarious to me.

734
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,400
They arrived in St. George to film on location in a nearby desert.

735
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,120
They and the full-time residents of St. George were unaware that the radiation levels were

736
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:28,080
extraordinarily high in the area and that in fact the entire perimeter may have been

737
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,680
contaminated by fallout.

738
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:30,680
The result?

739
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:35,040
John Wayne and almost 100 others, about 45% of the people associated with the filming

740
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,960
died of cancer over the next 30 years.

741
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,280
St. George also had an unusually high incidence of cancer.

742
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:50,320
So basically, they went to do a film and they ended up in an irradiated area and like 45%

743
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,320
of the crew…

744
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:52,320
That's a lot.

745
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:59,520
It goes on to say that maybe it was something else that happened, but it's too coincidental.

746
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,240
Of all the people that went in the film crew…

747
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,120
Well, it's directly correlated.

748
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,120
You had the blast, you had the film crew.

749
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:11,080
Yeah, and then you have like how many like over the 30 years, then 45% of them died of

750
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,080
cancer.

751
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,080
That's a high statistic.

752
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,080
I can't, sorry.

753
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:20,000
That's a really high statistic for, you know, in such a concentrated group.

754
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Yeah, that's…

755
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000
It's almost easily.

756
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:28,920
It's like that episode of Blue Banister when they all were getting like…

757
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:29,920
What was it?

758
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,920
When they get chlamydia?

759
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:32,920
Yeah.

760
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,240
Because they were all fucking the same sex doll, the six toy.

761
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:37,240
Yeah.

762
00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:39,360
Like, you know, that's the bottom line was the sex toy.

763
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,160
The bottom line here was that they were all filming in an irradiated zone.

764
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,160
With fallout.

765
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,160
With fallout.

766
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,160
And look what happened.

767
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,760
John Wayne died of lung cancer or something.

768
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,600
Or he got some type of cancer.

769
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,320
What's a lung cancer?

770
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,720
I think so.

771
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:54,720
So yeah.

772
00:36:54,720 --> 00:36:56,920
There was a lot of people that assumed that it was because he smoked.

773
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:01,520
Must have been smoking that just again.

774
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,200
Over there rolling those unfiltered cigarettes.

775
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,200
No kidding.

776
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,200
Oh man.

777
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,200
You ever tasted those?

778
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,480
I used to have a friend that used to smoke those, right?

779
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,040
And like he used to smoke cigarettes all the time.

780
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,760
And I got used to the regular filtered ones.

781
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,360
You just get accustomed to someone smoking next to you.

782
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,900
And then one day he couldn't find them.

783
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,120
So he just got some unfiltered ones.

784
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,120
You can just taste…

785
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,120
He takes it in there.

786
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,120
…the fucking thickness of it.

787
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:27,360
Alright, so that is it for Cozy Nights.

788
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:32,840
We'll try to do a better tightening up of the show.

789
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,760
I'm trying to do a 30 minute show for you guys every week.

790
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,760
But I need a timer or something.

791
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,200
You know what I mean?

792
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:45,360
And I need something so I know how far I'm going, which way.

793
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,480
So that was the…

794
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,140
I'm still tweaking Cozy Nights, but it's going to be here to stay.

795
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:56,440
Next week will be more news, more cooking kitchen, more cozy mysteries, and a little

796
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,720
interesting historical event.

797
00:37:58,720 --> 00:37:59,720
Cool.

798
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:05,480
And if any of this copyrighted stuff that I used, if you guys want us to keep using

799
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,720
it, please call us.

800
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:11,440
So Bathroom Reader, if you don't mind us using your content, please let us know.

801
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,960
Women's World, let me write one of the mysteries for you.

802
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:18,960
It's like this is all just deployed into that way you can write a woman.

803
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,960
Women's World mysteries, yeah.

804
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:21,960
The CNGator.

805
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,680
I mean, I love this stuff.

806
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,760
If they give us the free go ahead, I would appreciate it.

807
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,680
I don't want to feel like I'm stealing their content, so I'm not going to do everything

808
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,800
in the book or anything, everything in their magazine.

809
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,720
But I mean, this stuff is awesome to me.

810
00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:38,040
I got a lot of books.

811
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,360
And I was going to use this one.

812
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:40,360
What?

813
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,560
I said it never hurts.

814
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,360
And there's Rona one for the comic Queers and Quirkies.

815
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,160
I love this book.

816
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,440
So please, don't copyright strike us.

817
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:51,440
I beg you.

818
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,880
See, now you're just inviting it in.

819
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,880
Not really.

820
00:38:55,880 --> 00:39:01,200
I'm laying out the what's the word, the peace tree or the peace pipe.

821
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,880
Sit down with us.

822
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:03,880
Let's have a conversation.

823
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,920
About the olive branch with the peace pipe.

824
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,880
Oh, yeah, that's the word, olive branch.

825
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,640
You're trying to get them all drunk.

826
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:17,080
I'm just trying to give them, I don't know, their good graces, I guess.

827
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:18,080
Getting their good graces.

828
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,080
End up getting fucked.

829
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:24,000
If I do something for Nintendo, you can guarantee they'll sue the shit out of me.

830
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:28,680
Oh, you have to just go, did I hear a da-da-da?

831
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:29,680
Oh, yeah.

832
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:30,680
That's all it takes.

833
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,160
That's all it takes for Nintendo.

834
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,520
Did I hear a nut?

835
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,880
Just the first little note.

836
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:37,880
Yeah.

837
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:38,880
All right, guys.

838
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,040
So next week, we'll do some more Cozy Nights.

839
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,040
Cool.

840
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,320
What you got for Urban Dictionary today?

841
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:45,320
Ten more.

842
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,640
Ten more?

843
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:47,640
Always ten.

844
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:48,640
Where am I?

845
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:49,640
There they are.

846
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:55,360
Let's start with the first one.

847
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,360
Yard sale.

848
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,360
Verb.

849
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,560
He even said it's a verb.

850
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:04,200
The act of pushing the cum just delivered from a man out of your vagina after sex while

851
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,240
taking a dump at the same time.

852
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:07,240
Oh.

853
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,240
Oh, god.

854
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:15,560
I don't think they're going to like switching from this to that.

855
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,560
We want sponsorship or whatever.

856
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:22,040
Because, hey, man, you told me to look these up.

857
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:23,040
These are fucking horrendous.

858
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,640
I tried to find the worst one.

859
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,640
What else?

860
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,840
People love the worst one.

861
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,880
This one is called piabetes.

862
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,720
Immediate onset diabetes related from bulk pie consumption.

863
00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:38,760
You get the betas from five.

864
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,200
You know, good old piabetes.

865
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:45,200
This one is pornosynthesis, the process of absorbing energy from porn.

866
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:53,040
They're getting stronger the more porn you watch, I guess.

867
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,120
This next one is a shout out to this company, which I don't use, but the fact that they

868
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,880
put it in here is hilarious to me.

869
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:03,800
Computer Chick Productions, a YouTuber content creator that does graphic design and video

870
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:04,800
editing.

871
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,800
You're welcome.

872
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,920
A shout out from the most popular podcast in the world.

873
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,120
Next one is AM stripper.

874
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,120
Here we go.

875
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,600
A low grade exotic dancer, usually not the most attractive dancer in the establishment

876
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,800
who performed for the hungover non tipping patrons during morning hours.

877
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,920
Oh yeah, I've seen that.

878
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:24,920
It's sad to be honest.

879
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,200
How many strippers do you go to?

880
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,160
It's not for, like, not for that reason.

881
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,160
Oh.

882
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,760
That I've had to go to those during the middle of the day.

883
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,320
That would be the most depressing.

884
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,120
Like you go in and it's like dark, the lights are on.

885
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,600
You know the lights are all on.

886
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,600
Oh, God.

887
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:44,040
Yeah, can you see the shit all over the floors and stuff?

888
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:49,240
Rose, because they're in their vacuum and stuff while there's a person up on page.

889
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,680
So depressing.

890
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,880
The next one is called the wedge.

891
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,640
A girl shaped like a chicken nugget that has no ends and literally a wedge.

892
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:57,640
I don't know.

893
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,040
That's kind of mean, but whatever.

894
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:03,080
I've never seen a wedge before.

895
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,800
Next one called the breakfast monkey.

896
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:07,800
Here we go.

897
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,680
A superhero cartoon Scandinavian monkey who wants to spread the goodness of breakfast

898
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:12,720
to the world.

899
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:16,280
It was drawn and co-created by my chemical romance singer, Gerard Way.

900
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,280
Really?

901
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,280
Yeah.

902
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,680
The cartoon was rejected and now only the sample episode exists.

903
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,480
You can watch it at thebreakfastmonkey.com.

904
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,600
See, that's not a bad one, though.

905
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,440
No, I just, it was just long.

906
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:29,760
It was like a lot of big words.

907
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,760
Like, oh, here we go.

908
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:33,760
Next one is called bitch.

909
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:34,760
A female dog.

910
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:39,320
Don't call her, don't call your girl this because dogs are loyal and they are not.

911
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,560
So he's real mad at his girlfriend, that's what I'm guessing.

912
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,720
We got two left.

913
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:46,720
This one's called pen slut.

914
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:49,320
This one's me, I guess.

915
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,920
Someone who has an obsession with fancy writing implements and typically uses a strange pen

916
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,320
every day or even every hour.

917
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:56,320
Every hour?

918
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,320
Yeah, I don't go that far.

919
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,840
I just like, I just love pens.

920
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:05,080
You can spot a pen slut easily for his or her desk contains at least a dozen pilot precisions,

921
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:10,520
PhD retractable signo gel sticks or swank souvenir pens.

922
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,520
If you ask the pencil to borrow one, he or she will probably fish around for a big ball

923
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:19,480
pen rather than let you waste your precious ink of his say his or her YNC gel extreme

924
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,480
0.7.

925
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,880
Man, I do love pens though.

926
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:27,720
I'm into needle points right now.

927
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:30,560
Last one is called Cody.

928
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,080
A white Mexican boy.

929
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:37,040
White Mexicans don't usually be packing, but Cody, he is packing.

930
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,080
He is very gay boy.

931
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:39,480
He is very shy, but very sexy.

932
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,560
He is naturally good at video games and will destroy you in any game, even if he has never

933
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:43,560
played it.

934
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:44,560
So I don't know.

935
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,240
I guess this guy named Cody just wrote it in here.

936
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:54,640
This sounds like a very, it sounds like they love him and hate him at the same time.

937
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:55,640
Maybe.

938
00:43:55,640 --> 00:44:00,320
Maybe they hope he's gay so they can also be gay with them.

939
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,320
I don't know.

940
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:05,160
Yeah, because every Cody I've met, it's either they're gay or they're really big.

941
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,160
Cody.

942
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,240
Those are the two Cody's.

943
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:10,240
Two Cody's we knew.

944
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,000
I knew two Cody's.

945
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,000
Remember in high school?

946
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Yeah.

947
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,000
One was an asshole.

948
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000
One was also an asshole.

949
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:24,160
One that I've seen is almost on the verge of Down syndrome and the other one is, yeah.

950
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:25,160
I've met plenty of Cody's.

951
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,680
I've never met a Mexican guy named Cody though.

952
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,680
I haven't met Mexican though.

953
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:30,680
Wait, was?

954
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,800
Is that a white Mexican boy?

955
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:33,800
Yeah.

956
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,240
That's what made me fucking laugh.

957
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,400
But whatever, that's it for-

958
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:42,200
I mean Cody is a very, very white name so.

959
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:43,200
Huh.

960
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:48,520
I thought Brandon was the whitest name.

961
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,520
No John probably is.

962
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:51,520
John?

963
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,520
Jacob Jingle Otter Smith?

964
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:58,120
All right, that's it for Urban Dictionary.

965
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,120
Cool.

966
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:01,120
Let's move on.

967
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,460
All righty.

968
00:45:02,460 --> 00:45:07,640
We are going to go into our anime breakdown for the week or recap I guess is what you'd

969
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:08,960
call it.

970
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,400
This is one that I don't know if you have actually seen.

971
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:16,520
You may have seen clips but I don't know if you've seen the actual anime.

972
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,520
Goblin Slayer.

973
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:18,520
Oh fuck.

974
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,520
Everybody knows Goblin Slayer.

975
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:23,240
I don't know if you've seen the actual-

976
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,240
I'm not watching that either.

977
00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:28,160
Especially not with the first story when I hear it.

978
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,160
First episode.

979
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,160
Hearing to doozy.

980
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,160
Yeah.

981
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:36,160
Goblin Slayer it's been around for about a year I think.

982
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,160
A year or two years.

983
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:38,160
Something like that.

984
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,160
It's got 12 episodes.

985
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,160
13 if you count a recap episode.

986
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:45,160
A recap episode?

987
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,160
Yeah.

988
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,160
Here's what happened.

989
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:48,160
Done.

990
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:49,160
For the first 10 episodes.

991
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:50,160
So it's a 10.5.

992
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,160
Why bother?

993
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,160
I don't know why they did that.

994
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,160
I think it was because-

995
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,160
You think they would recap one piece?

996
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,160
They don't give a fuck.

997
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:56,160
She just keeps trucking on.

998
00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:01,160
So we start off with episode one.

999
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:06,160
It's called The Fate of Particular Adventurers.

1000
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:10,160
Alright so a young priestess joins a group of rookie adventurers who decide to raid a

1001
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,160
cave infested with goblins.

1002
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:18,160
Things quickly go awry when the inexperienced party is ambushed by goblins, resulting in

1003
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:23,160
all of them except for the princess being killed, raped, and captured.

1004
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:27,160
All three?

1005
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,160
All of them?

1006
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,160
They were either killed, raped, or captured.

1007
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,160
They got all three of the business.

1008
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,160
Jesus.

1009
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:38,160
So the dude that had the little sword, he was killed.

1010
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,160
The girls were taken advantage of.

1011
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,160
Ugh.

1012
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:47,160
The priestess is rescued by a sudden arrival of a goblinslayer, that's what they call him,

1013
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,160
who swiftly kills the goblins attacking her.

1014
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,160
She decides to follow him.

1015
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,160
Doesn't he pull out an Atticus Skywalker?

1016
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,160
And kill the kids too?

1017
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,160
Yeah.

1018
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,160
Oh yeah.

1019
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,160
He's got no remorse for these goblins.

1020
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,160
And the women?

1021
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:01,160
And the children too?

1022
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:06,160
He shoves a torch up their ass and it's like, Jesus Christ, he does not care.

1023
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,160
Is hentai?

1024
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:08,160
No.

1025
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,160
There's plenty of hentai about it.

1026
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,160
No this is not hentai.

1027
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:16,160
She decides to follow him as he proceeds deeper into the cave, killing more goblins and teaching

1028
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:19,160
her about their psychology and battle tactics.

1029
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:23,160
Because that's what he does, he kills goblins.

1030
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:27,160
With the priestess' help, Goblin Slayer is able to kill the remaining goblins, including

1031
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,160
a goblin shaman and hobgoblin.

1032
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,160
So two higher ranking ones.

1033
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:38,160
They then discover several goblin infants, which Goblin Slayer mercilessly kills to prevent

1034
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,160
them from becoming threats in the future.

1035
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,160
Because I guess why can't you raise them to be better?

1036
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:43,160
Yeah.

1037
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:48,160
His thing is that if I let them go, because they look like they were huddled in fear,

1038
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:54,160
basically these goblin kids, and he's like, if I let them go, they're going to come back

1039
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,160
and attack everybody for what we did.

1040
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,160
So we just kill them.

1041
00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:59,160
Geez.

1042
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:00,160
It's like damn.

1043
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,160
It's logic.

1044
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:02,160
Yeah.

1045
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:07,160
Despite the traumatic experience, the priestess decides to join Goblin Slayer as his adventuring

1046
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,160
companion at this point.

1047
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,160
Episode 2.

1048
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,160
It's titled Goblin Slayer.

1049
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,160
We're real innovative here.

1050
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:15,160
I'm confused.

1051
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,160
Is Goblin Slayer the main character?

1052
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,160
Okay.

1053
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,160
That's what they call him.

1054
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,160
Goblin Slayer.

1055
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:25,160
Goblin Slayer accompanies his childhood friend, Cowgirl.

1056
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:28,160
Right on, Cowgirl.

1057
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,160
Which is a girl that lives on a farm.

1058
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:31,160
Boring.

1059
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,160
To sell her uncle's farm produce in the city.

1060
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,160
He later heads to the Adventurers Guild to find work, where he is treated by the rest

1061
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:43,160
of the adventurers as an outcast due to his low quality armor and his habit of only accepting

1062
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:47,160
Goblin related quests despite his status as a high ranked adventurer.

1063
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,160
Are there more stuff to fight or just Goblins?

1064
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,160
No, there's a bunch of other things to kill.

1065
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,160
So why Goblins so fucking predominant in this?

1066
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:55,160
That's his thing.

1067
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,160
The only one.

1068
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,160
He's like, you got Goblins to kill.

1069
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,160
It's a very specific niche job he decided to stick to.

1070
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:03,160
Yeah.

1071
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:04,160
Yeah.

1072
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,160
He sticks to it too.

1073
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:10,160
Nevertheless, the Guild Girl, a member of the staff of the Guild, is glad for his dedication

1074
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:15,160
towards Goblin extermination since most Adventurers don't take the Goblin quest due to their low

1075
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,160
bounties and those that do are often inexperienced.

1076
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,160
Hmm.

1077
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:24,160
So since he's a high ranked adventurer willing to do it, they're actually happy that he does

1078
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,160
do it.

1079
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Doesn't she pay him a little more, shouldn't they?

1080
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,160
It reminds me of the first mission in the Fighters Guild in Merowind.

1081
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,160
Yeah.

1082
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,160
Where they send you to some house to fight some rats.

1083
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:33,160
Yeah.

1084
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,160
And they'll beat the brakes off of you.

1085
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,160
Just to have some fun?

1086
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:38,160
Yeah, just anything in that game, I swear.

1087
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:42,160
That's why you have to have the cheat code.

1088
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:46,660
Goblin Slayer reveals that when he was a young boy, his village was attacked by Goblins who

1089
00:49:46,660 --> 00:49:51,160
killed nearly all of the villagers, including the Cowgirl's parents.

1090
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,160
They are.

1091
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,160
So that's one reason why he hates- Is that her name?

1092
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,160
They didn't mention her name in this part.

1093
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,160
Oh, okay.

1094
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,160
So like, you just see her.

1095
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,160
They don't actually say her name at this point, so they just call her the Cowgirl.

1096
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:05,160
Cowgirl.

1097
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,160
Two separate words, though.

1098
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:07,160
Not together.

1099
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:08,160
They said cow and girl.

1100
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:09,160
Is it hyphenated?

1101
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,160
No.

1102
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,160
Spider-Man wouldn't like that.

1103
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,160
No, he wouldn't.

1104
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:21,160
There, he witnessed the gang Grape, because I'm not going to repeat that word over and

1105
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:22,160
over.

1106
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,160
And subsequent murder of his elder sister by Goblins.

1107
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:29,160
So that's one reason why he don't like Goblins too much.

1108
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:34,160
This led him to train himself and learn how to kill Goblins, but also resulted in him

1109
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:41,160
becoming socially awkward and obsessed with killing them, which Cowgirl's uncle warns

1110
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,160
will be why Goblin Slayer will never be normal.

1111
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,160
He's like, yeah, he's always going to be weird.

1112
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,160
Insane.

1113
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:49,160
Yeah.

1114
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:54,160
Cowgirl intends to support her friend despite her uncle's warnings, as she wishes to apologize

1115
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:58,160
to him for not bringing him with her to the city on the day before the Goblins attacked

1116
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:02,160
their village, because she had left the village to do stuff.

1117
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:07,160
Later, Goblin Slayer and the priestess attack a fortress occupied by Goblins, burning it

1118
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,160
down and preventing the Goblins from escaping.

1119
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:15,160
Elsewhere, a High Elf and her companions are looking for an adventure named Orcbolg.

1120
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,160
Orcbolg?

1121
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,160
Orcbolg.

1122
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:18,160
Orcbolg.

1123
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:19,160
Orcbolg.

1124
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,160
Orcbolg.

1125
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,160
Orcbolg.

1126
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,160
Orcbolg.

1127
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,160
Is it an Orc?

1128
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:24,160
Or is it a Goblin?

1129
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:27,160
That's who they're looking for is Orcbolg.

1130
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,160
So we go into episode three.

1131
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,160
It's called Unexpected Visitors.

1132
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:32,160
Is it Goblins?

1133
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,160
I bet you it's Goblins.

1134
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,160
So, the High Elf Archer, a dwarf shaman.

1135
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,160
So this is basically a legit, like, regular fantasy series.

1136
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,160
No crazy Japanese spinoff thing they do.

1137
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,160
No.

1138
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,160
It's just like this guy just wanted to just decide that...

1139
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,160
He is the Goblin Slayer.

1140
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,160
But in a world that's pretty Americanized fantasy, right?

1141
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,160
Yeah.

1142
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:55,160
Okay.

1143
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,160
Yeah.

1144
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,160
It's not nothing super crazy.

1145
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,160
Nobody is reincarnated into this world.

1146
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,160
Nothing weird, yeah.

1147
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:05,160
It's straightforward, but his specialty is fucking killing Goblins.

1148
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,160
And stand Goblins.

1149
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:16,160
So you have this High Elf Archer, a dwarf shaman, and a lizard priest ask the Guild Girl for an adventurer called Orcbolg.

1150
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,160
And Beardcutter.

1151
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:22,160
Actually referring to Goblin Slayer in their races native tongue.

1152
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,160
Races native tongue?

1153
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:24,160
Yeah.

1154
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:25,160
Oh, their races.

1155
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,160
Their races.

1156
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,160
Is that what you said? Races native tongue.

1157
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:32,160
Their races native tongues.

1158
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:37,160
So Orcbolg is, I believe, the archer?

1159
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,160
Something like that.

1160
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,160
But each one of them, like one of them calls him Beardcutter, which I think is the dwarf.

1161
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:50,160
And then Orcbolg is what the lizard priest and the High Elf Archer no Goblin Slayer has.

1162
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,160
That's what his name is in their language.

1163
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,160
Oh, okay.

1164
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,160
So he's got nicknames basically.

1165
00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:04,160
While Goblin Slayer talks to the trio, the priestess gets defended by a witch, an acquaintance of Goblin Slayer,

1166
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:09,160
when some rookie adventurers try to convince the priestess to leave Goblin Slayer and join them,

1167
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,160
assuming he is only using the priestess as bait.

1168
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:14,160
That's what the other adventurers think anyway.

1169
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,160
Wow.

1170
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:24,160
The High Elf Archer explains to Goblin Slayer that their races have united with the human kingdoms to fight against the resurrected Demon Lord's army

1171
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,160
and want to hire him for the related quest.

1172
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,160
I don't thank you. Only Goblin Slayer.

1173
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:34,160
He obviously refuses him first, much to the High Elf Archer's anger,

1174
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:42,160
as demons are not his concern until the dwarf shaman and lizard priest mentions runes in the elven lands occupied by goblins.

1175
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:43,160
Goblins, you say?

1176
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,160
Goblins, huh?

1177
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,160
Yes.

1178
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:47,160
That's all you have to hear.

1179
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:51,160
Since the elves cannot mobilize their army due to political concerns,

1180
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:56,160
the priestess also joins their quest after calling out Goblin Slayer for not asking if she wanted to join.

1181
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:02,160
As the group make camp and enjoy their races—not racist, but races—foods,

1182
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:09,160
a drunken High Elf Archer berates Goblin Slayer for his rude behavior while the others talk about where goblins come from.

1183
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:14,160
The next day, the High Elf kills the goblin sentries at the runes and the group enters.

1184
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,160
The runes?

1185
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,160
The runes.

1186
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,160
Episode 4 is called The Strong.

1187
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:27,160
So Goblin Slayer's group enters the runes, where he notices there are no totems, suggesting a shaman does not lead these goblins.

1188
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,160
So he looks for these things as soon as he—

1189
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:32,160
Like an expert goblin's hunting over here?

1190
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:33,160
Yes.

1191
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:42,160
After rescuing an elven prisoner tortured by these goblins, an angry High Elf Archer vows to avenge her fellow kin.

1192
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:47,160
So they find this elf that the goblins have raped.

1193
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:48,160
Hmm.

1194
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,160
Yeah.

1195
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,160
The group finds a hall where the goblins are resting.

1196
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:58,160
Goblin Slayer's group uses sleeping and silent spells to kill the sleeping goblins without alerting the others.

1197
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,160
So they're being stealthy, too.

1198
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,160
Somebody just started stabbing him in the neck.

1199
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,160
He does.

1200
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:03,160
What are they talking about?

1201
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,160
No, he just goes up to them and just shoves his sword into their chest.

1202
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,160
Okay.

1203
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:08,160
From the south.

1204
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:09,160
Ah!

1205
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:15,160
However, their silence alerts the goblin's leader, an ogre, one of the Demon Lord's generals.

1206
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:16,160
Ogre, huh?

1207
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:17,160
Mm-hmm.

1208
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,160
The ogre attacks the—

1209
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,160
He's like, no, thank you.

1210
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:20,160
I don't fight ogres, and he'll kill me.

1211
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,160
No, y'all got this.

1212
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:33,160
The ogre attacks the group using his Strength and Fire magic and proves difficult to kill due to his large size and ability to heal quickly.

1213
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:37,160
So it's literally like high fantasy from the Western—

1214
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:38,160
I don't know.

1215
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,160
Do ogres have a high healing factor?

1216
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:41,160
Generally, yeah.

1217
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:42,160
Hmm.

1218
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,160
With his—

1219
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,160
I didn't have it in God of War.

1220
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:46,160
No.

1221
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:53,160
With his allies at their limit, Goblin Slayer uses his trump card, a magic teleportation scroll given to him by the witch from the guild.

1222
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:59,160
Which sends strong jets of water from the bottom of the ocean to damage the ogre before giving him the killing blow.

1223
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,160
He's gonna rip his ass off.

1224
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,160
I'd press your water—

1225
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:03,160
Well, yeah, like off.

1226
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,160
Ah!

1227
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,160
Can't hope from that.

1228
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:13,160
As elvish reinforcements arrive to take over the ruins, and Goblin Slayer's group heads back to the city.

1229
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:22,160
Her experience with Goblin Slayer and his obsession makes the high elf want to take Goblin Slayer to a proper adventure at the end of this episode.

1230
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:23,160
About goblins?

1231
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:24,160
Like that one?

1232
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:25,160
No.

1233
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:26,160
Then I don't want to go.

1234
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,160
Fuck it.

1235
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:28,160
Fuck all that shit.

1236
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:32,160
Episode 5 is called Adventures and Daily Life.

1237
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:41,160
So after recovering from his wounds, Goblin Slayer helps the cowgirl cart supplies to the town.

1238
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:48,160
There he meets the high elf, the dwarf, and the lizard priest and tells them he is open to the idea of exploring some of the ruins with them.

1239
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:55,160
The priestess informs him that she has been promoted to the next adventurer rank and formally thanks Goblin Slayer for saving her life.

1240
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:56,160
Yay.

1241
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,160
From the very first episode, so she properly thanks him.

1242
00:56:58,160 --> 00:56:59,160
Oh, the chick from the first one?

1243
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:00,160
Yeah, the priestess.

1244
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:01,160
Okay.

1245
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:10,160
He then encounters two young adventurers who's lost a sword in the sewers and advises them to use a club as an improvised weapon so that they can go and retrieve it.

1246
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,160
Like, know what you do?

1247
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:14,160
Do you grab this lake right here and go get a club?

1248
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:27,160
The guild girl asks him to act as an observer on a promotion exam where she pushes a Ria scout for stealing loot from his party.

1249
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:36,160
The Ria scout considers attacking the guild girl but is dissuaded by the Goblin Slayer's presence there.

1250
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:42,160
So just him being there and him being such a high rank adventurer, people is like, ah, yeah, no.

1251
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:46,160
Meanwhile, the two young adventurers recover the sword thanks to Goblin Slayer's advice.

1252
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:51,160
Goblin Slayer then retrieves a special Goblin Slayer request from the sword maiden herself.

1253
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,160
More Goblins, huh?

1254
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,160
More Goblins.

1255
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,160
That's the shit I live for.

1256
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,160
It really is what he lives for.

1257
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:01,160
Episode 6 is called Goblin Slayer and the Water Town.

1258
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:07,160
So, ten years ago, a group of heroes including the sword maiden slew the original Demon Lord.

1259
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:17,160
Currently, the new hero and her companions slay the resurrected Demon Lord in another part of the world and crush his army, though some generals remain on the loose.

1260
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:23,160
Goblin Slayer and the rest of the party journey to the Water Town where they meet the sword maiden, now retired.

1261
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:33,160
The sword maiden informs him that there are a string of violent murders in the town recently and they suspect the culprits to be Goblins in the town's sewer system.

1262
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:34,160
He just smells the air.

1263
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:35,160
Goblins here.

1264
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:36,160
Yeah.

1265
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:38,160
That is kind of what he does.

1266
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:40,160
He literally can smell them.

1267
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:41,160
Like...

1268
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:42,160
Jeez, that man is upset.

1269
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,160
Jesus Christ.

1270
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:50,160
Since the army won't mobilize to fight Goblins and other adventurers have failed, she decided to reach out to him specifically.

1271
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:58,160
Goblin Slayer agrees to the quest and leads the party into the sewers where they discover the Goblins have learned how to use boats to navigate the sewers.

1272
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,160
They're evolving.

1273
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:00,160
You're all fucking losing this shit.

1274
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,160
They're evolving.

1275
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:08,160
Yes, and this is what... this puzzles Goblin Slayer as Goblins have never been smart enough to use boats before.

1276
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,160
That must be being led by somebody they can.

1277
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:12,160
Yeah.

1278
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:20,160
After seeking the Goblin boat, the party attracts the attention of a giant alligator which they take advantage of by tricking it into destroying the rest of the Goblin fleet.

1279
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:24,160
That's a very regular world.

1280
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,160
Like there's no minute it's getting this alligator to destroy these boats.

1281
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,160
Exactly.

1282
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:29,160
So weird.

1283
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:36,160
As they return to the surface, Goblin Slayer is troubled that the Goblins knew how to use the boats, yet were unaware of the alligator.

1284
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:41,160
So it's like how were they smart enough to know how to use boats but didn't know that that monster was down there?

1285
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:48,160
Leading him to conclude that somebody had placed the Goblins in the sewers and that they didn't go there specifically themselves.

1286
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,160
Right.

1287
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:52,160
So episode seven is called Onward Unto Death.

1288
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:58,160
After a brief rest in town, Goblin Slayer and his party venture back into the sewers to investigate the source of the Goblins.

1289
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:03,160
Goblin Slayer brings along a canary to warn him of any poison gas as a precaution.

1290
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:05,160
Like an actual canary.

1291
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:06,160
They do that to the bides back in the day.

1292
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:07,160
Yeah.

1293
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:11,160
The party delves deeper into the sewers but is led into a trap and locked into a tomb.

1294
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:18,160
The Goblins also begin pumping poison gas into that room where the canary warns the party of and successfully seal off the vents to prevent the gas from entering.

1295
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:23,160
I would have a like a talking bird like, yo, yo, there's gassing, like a parrot.

1296
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:27,160
Hey motherfucker, we're gonna die out here.

1297
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:28,160
You know what's funny?

1298
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:41,160
Like, not funny, but in the canary in the mines type thing, people assume like, you know, these poor canaries would die, but they actually had ventilation systems to revive them back up when they were, they got knocked out by gas.

1299
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:42,160
Yeah.

1300
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:47,160
So they had like little like air like, like pretty much like CPR machines for little canaries.

1301
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:48,160
Yeah.

1302
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,160
Because the miners got, you know, attached to the canaries.

1303
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,160
Yeah.

1304
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:52,160
So they didn't just throw them in there.

1305
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,160
No, it's not like they had no heart.

1306
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,160
They wanted to keep their pet.

1307
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:56,160
Oh yeah.

1308
01:00:56,160 --> 01:01:02,160
And plus it'd be good luck if the, if the canary could make the noises as it was getting ready to faint.

1309
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:03,160
Yeah.

1310
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,160
It's good luck to keep the same one that warned you already once.

1311
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:09,160
All right, moving on.

1312
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:15,160
The goblins then resort to attacking the party directly, revealing a goblin champion is leading them.

1313
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:22,160
The goblin champion critically wounds Goblin Slayer and attacks the priestess as the goblins overwhelm the rest of the party.

1314
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:31,160
Motivated by the priestess's screams, Goblin Slayer regains consciousness and attacks the goblin champion from behind, tearing his right eye out in the process.

1315
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:33,160
But he just shiv-a-sorb his ass or something.

1316
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,160
He's prone to that.

1317
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:40,160
The goblin, the goblin champion and his minions flee, giving the party the chance to recoup.

1318
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,160
Aye.

1319
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:46,160
The priestess's wounds are healed, but Goblin Slayer collapses from his own wounds.

1320
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:50,160
Episode eight, whispers and prayers and chants.

1321
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:53,160
So two ands, that just bothers me.

1322
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:57,160
Should have been whispers, prayers and chants, but it's whispers and prayers and chants.

1323
01:01:57,160 --> 01:02:03,160
Goblin Slayer wakes up in the Temple of Law, having been healed with a resurrection miracle.

1324
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,160
Because the heal that he could run back to life.

1325
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,160
Yeah.

1326
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:10,160
He healed him with a thing that resurrects you.

1327
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,160
He was fucking dead.

1328
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:14,160
So the sword maiden confides in Goblin Slayer.

1329
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:19,160
She has been captured, raped and tortured by goblins ten years ago.

1330
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,160
Damn.

1331
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:24,160
Which is the source of her scars and partial blindness.

1332
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:28,160
Despite being one of the heroes who slew the Demon King, she is still deathly afraid.

1333
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,160
That she's already done with?

1334
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:31,160
Well, the original demon.

1335
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,160
The main, like the main, oh that was before?

1336
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,160
Yeah, there's another one that just was killed by the new heroes.

1337
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,160
I guess they don't really...

1338
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:43,160
I like that, like they don't fixate on the world ending stories, but rather the...

1339
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:44,160
It's all about goblins.

1340
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:47,160
It's all about this man.

1341
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:51,160
So even though she was able to kill the Demon King, she's still deathly afraid of goblins.

1342
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:52,160
Because of what happened to her.

1343
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:53,160
Quite the hero then.

1344
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:55,160
Yeah.

1345
01:02:55,160 --> 01:03:00,160
The High Elf Archer, the Dwarf Shaman and the Lizard Priest decide to continue scouting the sewers

1346
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:05,160
while Goblin Slayer and the Priestess spend the day in town recovering and repairing their gear.

1347
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:12,160
The witch and the spearman from the guild arrive to deliver a mysterious package to Goblin Slayer.

1348
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:16,160
Meanwhile, the cowgirl continues to wait for Goblin Slayer's return

1349
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:19,160
despite her uncle's warnings he may not come back in one day.

1350
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:26,160
The following day, the whole party heads back into the sewers and finds a room guarded by a powerful demon.

1351
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:32,160
Goblin Slayer uses the package which contains fine flour and spreads it around the room to create a dust explosion.

1352
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,160
We've had a dust explosion before.

1353
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,160
In a blacksmith shop.

1354
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:39,160
Yes, yes, only black powder.

1355
01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:44,160
I mean, that really does happen on Mythbusters, I believe.

1356
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:50,160
They actually tested that myth about an explosion in like a baking company or something like that.

1357
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:56,160
Where they got a fan, they put flour on top of it, let it spin and it will explode.

1358
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:57,160
Ouch.

1359
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,160
Which, yeah.

1360
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:04,160
The explosion kills the demon and the party investigates a mysterious mirror that was guarding.

1361
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,160
So we go into episode 9.

1362
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,160
It's called There and Back Again.

1363
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:16,160
The party discovers the mirror is actually a gate linking the sewers of Water Town with the Green Moon, allowing goblins to enter.

1364
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:18,160
It's the Green Moon.

1365
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:22,160
It's the moon literally above in the skies, but that's where goblins come from.

1366
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:23,160
The moon?

1367
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:24,160
Yeah.

1368
01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:25,160
And it's green.

1369
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:26,160
How'd they end up on Earth?

1370
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,160
Just a mirror? That'd be more than that.

1371
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,160
No, no, it's more than just a mirror, but...

1372
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:32,160
Well, I guess once they get here, they can just pipe-lay it down here.

1373
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:36,160
So I don't have to...if the mirror gets broken, there's already goblins infested.

1374
01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:37,160
Yeah.

1375
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,160
So it's like a hostile invasive species from another planet then.

1376
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:41,160
Kinda, yeah.

1377
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:42,160
Interesting.

1378
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:50,160
As the lizard priest works to remove the mirror from the wall, the rest of the party repels the goblin counterattack led by the goblin champion.

1379
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:51,160
Which is back again.

1380
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:52,160
This was back.

1381
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,160
Back again.

1382
01:04:54,160 --> 01:05:01,160
Once the mirror is loose, goblin slayer has the party take shelter under the mirror while the dwarf shaman collapses a roof once the mirror is loose.

1383
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:05,160
The goblins are crushed, but the mirror protects the party, leaving them unscathed.

1384
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,160
Yay.

1385
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:13,160
The party encases the mirror in cement and sinks it into the river, as they can't guarantee other goblins won't try to learn how to use it.

1386
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:20,160
Goblin slayer reports to the sword maiden, revealing he suspects she knew more than she led on to the original...

1387
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:21,160
You lied to me.

1388
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,160
Yeah.

1389
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:32,160
The sword maiden admits the giant alligator is her familiar that guards the sewers, while the mirror was placed by a cult of demon worshippers who the hero already wiped out.

1390
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:42,160
Even though the masterminds were taken out, sword maiden delayed doing anything about the goblins because she secretly wanted other people to understand the cruelty of goblins, what they're capable of.

1391
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:44,160
So she allowed them to...

1392
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:46,160
You'll learn.

1393
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,160
You'll all see.

1394
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:50,160
You'll all see what I see.

1395
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:56,160
Goblin slayer merely replies he cannot save her from her trauma, but he will kill goblins if she asks him to.

1396
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:57,160
Even in her dream.

1397
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:58,160
You don't even have to ask him.

1398
01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,160
He'll just kill him anyway.

1399
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:00,160
Pretty much, yeah.

1400
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:04,160
Even in her dreams, which alleviates her worries.

1401
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:10,160
On the way back to the town, goblin slayer tells the rest of the party he plans to make ice treats, and the party promises to help him.

1402
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,160
Ice? What the fuck? On a random set? Who was that?

1403
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:14,160
You.

1404
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,160
It'll make some popsicles if you do it with me.

1405
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:19,160
Episode 10 is called Dozing.

1406
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:22,160
The heroes defeat the demon lord.

1407
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:27,160
This is separate from goblin slayer, but the heroes, they defeat the demon lord and his army are confirmed.

1408
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:32,160
She, uh, and she becomes the 10th person ever to achieve a platinum rank.

1409
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:34,160
Festivities are held across the land at this point.

1410
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:35,160
Yay!

1411
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:40,160
Meanwhile, goblin slayer continues his daily, so he's still fucking up goblin.

1412
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:45,160
And accompanies the cowgirl to town to get his armor repaired.

1413
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:55,160
While there, he sees veteran adventurers training rookie adventurers, which he encounters the rest of his party, who invite him out to lunch.

1414
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:58,160
With cowgirl and the girl from the guild also joining.

1415
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:10,160
During the meal, the guild girl notes the guild has started a program to have retired adventurers train rookie adventurers, so retired adventurers they employed and rookie adventurers have a better chance of surviving.

1416
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:14,160
Instead of just going out and trying to kill goblins because they all think it's so easy.

1417
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:19,160
It's like, oh, killing a goblin is easy, and then they're the first ones that get graped.

1418
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:21,160
Horrifically violated.

1419
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:24,160
And you see, I'm not using the word, I'm using a fruit.

1420
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:28,160
I'll grab you for decades and decades and decades.

1421
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:30,160
Demonetization.

1422
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:34,160
You ever seen that, the White Kids You Know skit show?

1423
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:39,160
There was this, it's really like goofy, and this guy was dressed up as a grape.

1424
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:40,160
Right.

1425
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:46,160
And he kept telling, he was going to imprison his whole family in the basement, and he's going to grape them for decades and decades and decades.

1426
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:48,160
They also use grape a lot.

1427
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:54,160
It's a way to avoid the demonetization that comes along with that specific word.

1428
01:07:54,160 --> 01:08:06,160
So the next day, Goblin Slayer performs more tours around the farm and reads a letter from the sword maiden, thanking him for his help and telling him she no longer sees demons, or demons, goblins and her dreams.

1429
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:07,160
Nice.

1430
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:11,160
So just him going out and killing all these makes you feel better?

1431
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,160
Yeah.

1432
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:25,160
That night, Cowgirl shares a moment with Goblin Slayer and tells him that he should think about his future and not just mindlessly drone on and killing goblins every day.

1433
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:32,160
Going to bed, she reflects on the fact that Goblin Slayer can't kill goblins forever and wonders what will happen when the time comes.

1434
01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:36,160
The next day Goblin Slayer does his daily patrol around the farm and discovers Goblin footprints now.

1435
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,160
Oh, here we go.

1436
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:39,160
It's all exciting.

1437
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:45,160
He's been like, since his sister was killed by him and everything, it's one of those kind of like traumatized things for him.

1438
01:08:45,160 --> 01:09:03,160
He turned it into anger obviously toward goblins, but every day he would go around this farm, checking like certain spots kind of like a damn OCD, like constantly checking all these spots, because he knows goblins come up from this kind of an area so he'd make sure there's nothing there.

1439
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:06,160
Like, he would do this all the way around the farm every single day.

1440
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:09,160
This time he actually found Goblin footprints.

1441
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:11,160
So be ready for it.

1442
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:19,160
We have also episode 10.5 but it's just a recap, summarizing the events up to the through the first 10 episodes.

1443
01:09:19,160 --> 01:09:23,160
Episode 11, a gathering of adventurers is the title.

1444
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:28,160
So Goblin Slayer concludes that the horde is over a hundred goblins will attack the farm soon.

1445
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,160
Damn.

1446
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:38,160
He warns the egg this girl on the farm, he cannot fight that many goblins in the open and urges her to run, but she refuses to abandon her home for a second time.

1447
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:41,160
Goblin Slayer heads to town to ask the other adventurers for help.

1448
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:46,160
They refuse at first, since there is no quest or reward posted for fighting the Goblin horde.

1449
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:53,160
Goblin Slayer then offers everything he owns equipment assets knowledge and time as a reward for helping him fight.

1450
01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:57,160
So he's not too ashamed to actually ask for help.

1451
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:05,160
Sensing how serious Goblin Slayer is at this situation, the spearman and the witch agree to fight with him as well as the two rookie adventurers Goblin Slayer helped.

1452
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:07,160
The ones that went and got their sword back.

1453
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:09,160
You think they help him get out of the goodness of their heart?

1454
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:10,160
Yeah.

1455
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:11,160
Assholes.

1456
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:13,160
They're doing it kind of out of the goodness.

1457
01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:17,160
They see that he's willing to give up everything so they're willing to do it.

1458
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:19,160
And Goblin Slayer's party also joins.

1459
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:22,160
So the lizard man, the archer.

1460
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:23,160
Yeah, well, stinking language.

1461
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,160
You want to join just out of friendship?

1462
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:26,160
Yeah, they will too.

1463
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:32,160
Without question for the rewards of food and drink afterward for joining him on the...

1464
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:34,160
The Luffy stable.

1465
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,160
Yes.

1466
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:41,160
The guild girl then announces that she's posted a bounty of one gold for each dead Goblin.

1467
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:43,160
Shit, I'd be raking it in.

1468
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:46,160
Yeah, which convinces the rest of the adventurers to join.

1469
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:53,160
Goblin Slayer warns the horde's adventurers after being led by a Goblin Lord.

1470
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,160
A highly intelligent Goblin specialized in leadership.

1471
01:10:57,160 --> 01:11:01,160
He devises an effective strategy for the adventurers to fight the horde.

1472
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:03,160
The Jabin didn't make it from the rubble?

1473
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:04,160
No.

1474
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:05,160
That would be cool.

1475
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:06,160
I guess he was back.

1476
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:07,160
Back for a third time.

1477
01:11:07,160 --> 01:11:09,160
Like his nemesis?

1478
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:12,160
And the first few waves of Goblins are easily defeated.

1479
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:17,160
The Goblin Lord then sends several Hobgoblins and Goblin Champions as adventurers...

1480
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:18,160
Uh oh.

1481
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:22,160
...at the adventurers and attempts to flee but is intercepted by Goblin Slayer.

1482
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:25,160
Episode 12 is called The Fate of an Adventurer.

1483
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:29,160
While the veteran adventurers slay the Hobgoblins and the Goblin Champions,

1484
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:32,160
because they're actually powerful enough to kill them too,

1485
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,160
since they're out in the open.

1486
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:37,160
So like the magicians and stuff like that, they can actually use full force magic.

1487
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:40,160
Whereas Goblin Slayer, he's a high ranking adventurer,

1488
01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:44,160
but he's specialized only in killing Goblins in their caves.

1489
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:47,160
That's his thing. He uses super short swords.

1490
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:51,160
He doesn't worry about open air fighting.

1491
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:53,160
Fighting for the most part.

1492
01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:57,160
So he also like, he knows that he'll carry torches,

1493
01:11:57,160 --> 01:12:01,160
he'll carry like gunpowder like materials and stuff.

1494
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:04,160
Just like a whole bunch of random shit.

1495
01:12:04,160 --> 01:12:06,160
Where he'll specialize in?

1496
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:09,160
Like he will fuck up these Goblins in their...

1497
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:12,160
Yeah, in their environment but not...

1498
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:13,160
Out in the open it's like...

1499
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:15,160
Changed to the bottom.

1500
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:20,160
However, when Goblin Slayer is about to be killed,

1501
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:23,160
the Priestess casts two protection spells to trap the Goblin Lord.

1502
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:24,160
The Goblin Lord...

1503
01:12:24,160 --> 01:12:25,160
Please protect my bow.

1504
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:30,160
The Goblin Lord attempts to trick the Priestess by begging for mercy,

1505
01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:33,160
but this fails, and the Goblin Slayer kills him.

1506
01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:35,160
It's revealed that this was all part of his plan,

1507
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:38,160
acting as a bait so the Priestess could trap the Lord.

1508
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,160
So what did he want with him?

1509
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:44,160
He basically tricked the Priestess into helping him.

1510
01:12:44,160 --> 01:12:47,160
The Goblin Slayer?

1511
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:51,160
I drew it out just so that way you could trap it.

1512
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:54,160
Between two walls of a barrier,

1513
01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:57,160
to where you're like just smacking it to where it can't move.

1514
01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,160
Why even trick her at all?

1515
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:04,160
Not like a true trick, but like he wanted her to use these spells,

1516
01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:06,160
but he put himself out as bait the entire time.

1517
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:07,160
What did he just told her?

1518
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:08,160
Like, here's the game plan.

1519
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:11,160
But he also didn't want to say it in front of the Goblin Lord,

1520
01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:14,160
since the Goblin Lord has enough intelligence to know what he's doing.

1521
01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:18,160
Well, that goes in Spanish.

1522
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,160
After all the Goblins are killed and the farm is secured,

1523
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:22,160
the Adventurer is returned to the guild to celebrate,

1524
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:26,160
where the Goblin Slayer confides in Cowgirl,

1525
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:29,160
who has started to pick up an interest in becoming an Adventurer.

1526
01:13:29,160 --> 01:13:34,160
He removes his helm at the Priestess' request as her reward.

1527
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:40,160
If he was just ass ugly,

1528
01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:44,160
the funniest shit if he's just fucking fuggliest.

1529
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:46,160
She's like, oh, thank you.

1530
01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:47,160
He is a Goblin.

1531
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:51,160
Yeah. She's like, oh, thanks.

1532
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:55,160
And the other Adventurer is surprised to see his face for the first time.

1533
01:13:55,160 --> 01:14:00,160
Oh my God, look at that ugly motherfucker.

1534
01:14:00,160 --> 01:14:03,160
It's like, it's back when, you know, we had like the whole pandemic

1535
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:04,160
and people had the masks on, right?

1536
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:05,160
Yeah.

1537
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:06,160
And then you wanted, you like somebody,

1538
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:11,160
you need to take the mask off.

1539
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:13,160
That's what I'm guessing for him.

1540
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,160
There it is.

1541
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:18,160
I was like, oh God, put that bitch back on.

1542
01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:19,160
But then think about that though.

1543
01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:21,160
Nobody has ever seen his face.

1544
01:14:21,160 --> 01:14:22,160
What about Cowgirl?

1545
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:24,160
She has obviously, but nobody else,

1546
01:14:24,160 --> 01:14:27,160
like in the Adventurer's guild, nobody in this town.

1547
01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:29,160
That always like, it's always a letdown for people actually.

1548
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,160
If you haven't seen them in an ever.

1549
01:14:31,160 --> 01:14:32,160
Yeah.

1550
01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:36,160
I remember one time I was streaming, you know, Dreamer or Dream.

1551
01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:38,160
He showed his face and everyone was like,

1552
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:40,160
everyone fucking tore his ass all over.

1553
01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:44,160
I'm like, God, they let him have it.

1554
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:48,160
Then he went back to not being in the face.

1555
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:51,160
Or like whenever they wanted, everybody wanted the Mandalorian.

1556
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:52,160
They wanted to see his face.

1557
01:14:52,160 --> 01:14:54,160
And we know what he looks like.

1558
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:58,160
I'm fucking sure I'm dead gorgeous.

1559
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,160
All right.

1560
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,160
She says that the fact that the Mandalorian is a goblinslayer

1561
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:04,160
is just another pawn on the board to the gods.

1562
01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:06,160
But the gods have taken an interest in him due to his refusal

1563
01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:08,160
to let the gods roll the dice on his actions,

1564
01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:11,160
meaning his fate is completely unknown to them.

1565
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:14,160
She then remarks the goblinslayer is still out there fighting.

1566
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:15,160
Yeah, he's still out there whooping ass.

1567
01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:16,160
Still killing goblins.

1568
01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:18,160
Still killing goblins.

1569
01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:20,160
And there is a season two.

1570
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:22,160
It is like, you would think like, oh,

1571
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:24,160
he's killing goblins for such small money,

1572
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:27,160
but he probably has a fucking fortune by now.

1573
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:29,160
He should have just add up.

1574
01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:31,160
He gives it all to that girl on the farm.

1575
01:15:31,160 --> 01:15:35,160
He like to where he's paying his wife basically at this point.

1576
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:38,160
With her dad there.

1577
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:39,160
But they believe it?

1578
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,160
No.

1579
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:41,160
No, not at all.

1580
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:45,160
But they took him in whenever after his situation.

1581
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:46,160
Yeah.

1582
01:15:46,160 --> 01:15:48,160
So it's kind of like you understand,

1583
01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:51,160
like by the end of the season, you understand why he does what he does.

1584
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:55,160
Like he's got that drive to kill specifically goblins.

1585
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:58,160
But one of the big reasons is I feel like at the end of the

1586
01:15:58,160 --> 01:15:59,160
last episode, right?

1587
01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:02,160
It goes into a monologue where he's like running through like the darkness.

1588
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:06,160
And it's like the it's it's basically the monologue from the dark night,

1589
01:16:06,160 --> 01:16:08,160
but it's implemented on.

1590
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:09,160
He's not the hero if we want him.

1591
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,160
He's the hero we deserve.

1592
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:11,160
God, yes.

1593
01:16:11,160 --> 01:16:15,160
Wouldn't be so fucking funny to me.

1594
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:18,160
But yeah, he like I said, he was doing it.

1595
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:22,160
Like everybody assumes that goblins are just these weak creatures that

1596
01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:24,160
we can kill them anytime we want.

1597
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:27,160
But then you see what they can do when they actually are left

1598
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:28,160
with their own devices.

1599
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:29,160
They're odd ones for sure.

1600
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:33,160
It's basically a thing saying don't underestimate weak creatures for the

1601
01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:37,160
most part, even though like because everybody assumes,

1602
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:40,160
oh, even a rookie adventurer can kill them.

1603
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:41,160
They're just goblins.

1604
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:44,160
But it's like they're devious little fuckers.

1605
01:16:44,160 --> 01:16:45,160
Yeah.

1606
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:48,160
And they're not even native to the planet now, which is really weird.

1607
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:51,160
Who knows what they do up on the green moon?

1608
01:16:51,160 --> 01:16:52,160
Yeah.

1609
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:53,160
Weird.

1610
01:16:53,160 --> 01:16:55,160
I think they might talk about it in season two, but I haven't.

1611
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:57,160
I've made it through like the first day in the series.

1612
01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:59,160
It might have ended with a war on the moon.

1613
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:03,160
You know that he would love to live up there or just just killing

1614
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:04,160
them left and right.

1615
01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:06,160
Just kill them the entire time.

1616
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:07,160
That'd be perfect for him.

1617
01:17:07,160 --> 01:17:08,160
Yeah.

1618
01:17:08,160 --> 01:17:09,160
That's a goblins.

1619
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:10,160
I recap for season one.

1620
01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:11,160
Cool.

1621
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:12,160
All righty.

1622
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:13,160
Ready for Reddit.

1623
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,160
Yep.

1624
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:15,160
All right.

1625
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:18,160
These are going to be some more retail stories today.

1626
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:22,160
See what's going on in the life of retail.

1627
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:23,160
All righty.

1628
01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:28,160
This person is by or this post is by disappointed true.

1629
01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:33,160
This person puts what's the most brazen thing you've ever seen a

1630
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:35,160
customer do for me.

1631
01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:38,160
It's the time a customer asked for a partial refund for the stupid

1632
01:17:38,160 --> 01:17:39,160
as reason.

1633
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:42,160
He initially emailed and said I was in your store months ago and

1634
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:44,160
Bob promised me a discount code.

1635
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,160
Can I please have it?

1636
01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:47,160
Cool.

1637
01:17:47,160 --> 01:17:48,160
It's Bob.

1638
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,160
There's never been a Bob.

1639
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:54,160
Hey, he does like little fucking Bob and I wasn't in the mood to

1640
01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:58,160
honor a fake promise from a fake employee for a fake discount code.

1641
01:17:58,160 --> 01:18:01,160
So I just deleted the email a few days later.

1642
01:18:01,160 --> 01:18:03,160
I brought some stuff after that.

1643
01:18:03,160 --> 01:18:06,160
He sent me another email saying I went ahead and made the purchase.

1644
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:10,160
You need to refund me 20% on the order since I didn't get the code.

1645
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:13,160
You can bet your ass I deleted that email as well.

1646
01:18:13,160 --> 01:18:15,160
Can you beat that?

1647
01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:20,160
Hmm.

1648
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:24,160
Who the hell thinks they can just make up a random by this person told

1649
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:27,160
me the most generic person Bob.

1650
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:31,160
What's the last thing the builder.

1651
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:34,160
Yes, we can.

1652
01:18:34,160 --> 01:18:38,160
Next one is by the 08 5 chicken lady.

1653
01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:40,160
Complicated.

1654
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:45,160
This person puts now I am become death destroyed her of worlds.

1655
01:18:45,160 --> 01:18:48,160
Lord of the minor irritations, ruiner of days.

1656
01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,160
All right.

1657
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:50,160
Oppenheimer.

1658
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:55,160
So let me tell you how I yes me single handedly ruined a grown man's

1659
01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:56,160
day yesterday.

1660
01:18:56,160 --> 01:19:00,160
Man comes to the channel and he told me he had a small day.

1661
01:19:00,160 --> 01:19:03,160
He just pissed him off first thing in the morning.

1662
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:06,160
Man comes to the check now with two items.

1663
01:19:06,160 --> 01:19:08,160
His total is under five dollars.

1664
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:12,160
He goes to go pay as starts off immediately putting the card in wrong.

1665
01:19:12,160 --> 01:19:17,160
It honks but man yeah I try to correct him nicely.

1666
01:19:17,160 --> 01:19:20,160
The card reader keeps screaming.

1667
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:24,160
First he jams it into hard like hard enough to knock the reader back.

1668
01:19:24,160 --> 01:19:29,160
Then he immediately yanks it out and tries to swipe it which you can't do

1669
01:19:29,160 --> 01:19:32,160
are chipped cards you on chip cards.

1670
01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:35,160
You have to try the chip three times before swiping is an option.

1671
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:36,160
Thank you.

1672
01:19:36,160 --> 01:19:38,160
Three times you get three times.

1673
01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:42,160
So he swipes it and it honks.

1674
01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:46,160
He shoves it into the reader too hard again like three more times.

1675
01:19:46,160 --> 01:19:49,160
Desperately I ask him if it must be amazing in the bedroom.

1676
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:51,160
Yeah.

1677
01:19:51,160 --> 01:19:53,160
Just jams it out.

1678
01:19:53,160 --> 01:19:58,160
Desperately I ask him if he has tap to pay on his card.

1679
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:01,160
Yes but it never fucking works.

1680
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:02,160
Watch.

1681
01:20:02,160 --> 01:20:06,160
He begins to slap his card on the screen like a drumstick.

1682
01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:08,160
Yeah that don't work that way.

1683
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:10,160
That's not how you tap to pay.

1684
01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:11,160
That's a problem.

1685
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:14,160
It's pretty much like tap it whole not just tap it.

1686
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:20,160
They will legit just be like smack that shit like a dozen times while I'm like screaming.

1687
01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:24,160
Then I ask him if I can try and he gets mad and starts swiping the screen with it

1688
01:20:24,160 --> 01:20:27,160
and telling me that it never works.

1689
01:20:27,160 --> 01:20:29,160
Just rub his other fucking nerve to break down.

1690
01:20:29,160 --> 01:20:30,160
Rack.

1691
01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:31,160
Rack.

1692
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:32,160
No shit.

1693
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:38,160
He's pushing every single button on the screen while using his card as a paper towel on the screen.

1694
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:43,160
And he starts to raise his voice while I finally just said sir we apologize but it looks like

1695
01:20:43,160 --> 01:20:46,160
the machine cannot accept your payment method today.

1696
01:20:46,160 --> 01:20:47,160
Why not?

1697
01:20:47,160 --> 01:20:48,160
Because you're dumb as fuck.

1698
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:49,160
He sighs.

1699
01:20:49,160 --> 01:20:53,160
Like he sighs like I told him his dog didn't love him anymore.

1700
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:54,160
Dog.

1701
01:20:54,160 --> 01:20:55,160
Dog.

1702
01:20:55,160 --> 01:20:56,160
Pete.

1703
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:57,160
Haha.

1704
01:20:57,160 --> 01:20:58,160
Haha fuck.

1705
01:20:58,160 --> 01:20:59,160
I knew it.

1706
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:01,160
He puts away his credit card.

1707
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:02,160
It was not a debit card.

1708
01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:03,160
Here comes the cash.

1709
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:07,160
He pulls out a very large fold of cash.

1710
01:21:07,160 --> 01:21:10,160
Why don't we just do this from the beginning.

1711
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:15,160
I'm talking hundreds tens twenties and he peels off a five dollar bill for his total

1712
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:16,160
of four eighty.

1713
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:17,160
Not how bad.

1714
01:21:17,160 --> 01:21:19,160
Why don't you do that from the beginning.

1715
01:21:19,160 --> 01:21:23,160
We've been dicking with this card for at least six or seven minutes and he has this five

1716
01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:25,160
dollar bill the whole time.

1717
01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:30,160
I thank him for getting the money out and he said he knows shit instead of putting it

1718
01:21:30,160 --> 01:21:35,160
into my outstretched hand throws it on the belt by the courtesy clerk.

1719
01:21:35,160 --> 01:21:40,160
So that I would have to reach down or stretch over and go pick it up.

1720
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:44,160
He's he's he basically is acting like the guy who throws dollar bills of strippers instead

1721
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:46,160
of placing them on the tip rail.

1722
01:21:46,160 --> 01:21:48,160
He's being rude.

1723
01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:53,160
I sigh for this guy's dog at home who probably does indeed not love his owner and get the

1724
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:55,160
bill and finish his stupid transaction.

1725
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,160
But I'm a professional.

1726
01:21:57,160 --> 01:21:59,160
I am still smiling.

1727
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:00,160
Me.

1728
01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:01,160
Thank you very much.

1729
01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:02,160
Have a nice day.

1730
01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:04,160
I have a nice night now sir.

1731
01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:05,160
Yeah I regret him.

1732
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:09,160
I don't see what's impossible after all this shit.

1733
01:22:09,160 --> 01:22:12,160
My name is ruined my whole week's ruined.

1734
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:16,160
He then yells at my manager for nothing in the store works including the people and

1735
01:22:16,160 --> 01:22:17,160
huffs off into the night.

1736
01:22:17,160 --> 01:22:18,160
He runs out the night.

1737
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:19,160
God was killed my parents.

1738
01:22:19,160 --> 01:22:20,160
Damn it.

1739
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:26,160
So I ruined this man's entire night if not his life by not being able to make the credit

1740
01:22:26,160 --> 01:22:34,160
card reader read his incorrect insert is incorrectly inserted swiped and tapped card.

1741
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:38,160
Next one is by low for 72 low for 72.

1742
01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:43,160
Tell me you've never worked in retail without telling me what habits of customers scream.

1743
01:22:43,160 --> 01:22:45,160
I have never worked in retail.

1744
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:46,160
I'll start.

1745
01:22:46,160 --> 01:22:48,160
Hey it's four fifty five p.m.

1746
01:22:48,160 --> 01:22:51,160
I've been out and I'm doing nothing much all day.

1747
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:56,160
This is the perfect time to go and wander endlessly around the shop.

1748
01:22:56,160 --> 01:22:59,160
I filled this basket with things that don't that I don't actually want.

1749
01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:02,160
I know I'll just drop them randomly around the shop.

1750
01:23:02,160 --> 01:23:06,160
Extra points for frozen chill items in the warm section.

1751
01:23:06,160 --> 01:23:08,160
Yeah I know.

1752
01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:15,160
Well then people there'd be an end cap where the frozen frozen section is and they'll put

1753
01:23:15,160 --> 01:23:20,160
it on the end cap instead of just turning around and putting it back where it went.

1754
01:23:20,160 --> 01:23:23,160
Why don't you sell parts for a 1972 dishwasher.

1755
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:26,160
It would still 1972 dishwasher.

1756
01:23:26,160 --> 01:23:29,160
Why do you still have a 1972 dishwasher.

1757
01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:33,160
I would have thought you would because no one in the past 30 years has asked for it

1758
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:36,160
because I have no suppliers to sell such things.

1759
01:23:36,160 --> 01:23:41,160
And finally because this is a craft shop not an appliance repair.

1760
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:43,160
Yeah I can see that.

1761
01:23:43,160 --> 01:23:46,160
People feel weird.

1762
01:23:46,160 --> 01:23:50,160
Yeah they want to make sure they get every single item on their list regardless of what

1763
01:23:50,160 --> 01:23:55,160
it is in one place and they get upset if they can.

1764
01:23:55,160 --> 01:23:59,160
All right next one is by left star to 240.

1765
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:03,160
This person puts our store closes for lunch because we almost always work alone.

1766
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:08,160
Our lunch break is part of the posted hours and it's the same time every day.

1767
01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:10,160
It has been this way for almost four years.

1768
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:14,160
I'm done working through my lunch lunch break and I'm done apologizing for it.

1769
01:24:14,160 --> 01:24:17,160
Today someone walked in as I'm closing the door.

1770
01:24:17,160 --> 01:24:21,160
I referred her to the posted hours and said that unfortunately I had to keep my schedule.

1771
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:23,160
Get out bitch.

1772
01:24:23,160 --> 01:24:27,160
I'm sure I'll get a complaint and I'm going to get out.

1773
01:24:27,160 --> 01:24:30,160
I got to eat too big.

1774
01:24:30,160 --> 01:24:34,160
Next one is by secret golf six eight three six.

1775
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:35,160
Secret golf.

1776
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:37,160
Yeah person puts.

1777
01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,160
So it is Sunday.

1778
01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:43,160
I had four hours of sleep because I was working late on Saturday and it takes one and a half

1779
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:48,160
one and a half hours or one one an hour.

1780
01:24:48,160 --> 01:24:53,160
One and it takes one hour.

1781
01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:56,160
I'm assuming one and a half hours maybe two hours.

1782
01:24:56,160 --> 01:25:02,160
It took me one and then another one took me to commute to work.

1783
01:25:02,160 --> 01:25:03,160
We open the store.

1784
01:25:03,160 --> 01:25:05,160
It takes you two fucking hours to get to work.

1785
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,160
Where the fuck do you work.

1786
01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:09,160
We open the store and the first customer comes to my till.

1787
01:25:09,160 --> 01:25:12,160
I ask him whether he needs a bag for his shopping.

1788
01:25:12,160 --> 01:25:15,160
He replied angrily and I flirt.

1789
01:25:15,160 --> 01:25:19,160
He already angrily art from the get go.

1790
01:25:19,160 --> 01:25:21,160
It is because I am Arab.

1791
01:25:21,160 --> 01:25:22,160
You are asking for bag.

1792
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:25,160
Do you think I will carry these in my hand.

1793
01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:26,160
I don't know.

1794
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:27,160
Do you want to.

1795
01:25:27,160 --> 01:25:29,160
Who does that.

1796
01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:32,160
God I want to punch that one so hard.

1797
01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:37,160
He then started talking about the country and you people are always bad to foreigners

1798
01:25:37,160 --> 01:25:39,160
and blah blah blah.

1799
01:25:39,160 --> 01:25:41,160
The best part of this drum roll.

1800
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:43,160
I am not from this country.

1801
01:25:43,160 --> 01:25:45,160
I don't even look like that.

1802
01:25:45,160 --> 01:25:49,160
So I really don't know what he is talking about.

1803
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:53,160
Thankfully the rest of my customers were really good throughout the day.

1804
01:25:53,160 --> 01:25:56,160
God if you're getting mad because somebody asked you if you want a bag.

1805
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:57,160
Of course I want a fucking bag.

1806
01:25:57,160 --> 01:26:00,160
We don't want to carry these in my asshole.

1807
01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,160
Some people like.

1808
01:26:02,160 --> 01:26:03,160
Some people don't want bags.

1809
01:26:03,160 --> 01:26:04,160
You'd be surprised how they are.

1810
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:05,160
I am going to save a tree.

1811
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:06,160
You are not saving shit.

1812
01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:08,160
The tree is already fucking dead.

1813
01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:09,160
Take the bag.

1814
01:26:09,160 --> 01:26:11,160
See for me I usually like if it is like two or three items.

1815
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:12,160
It is like do you want a bag.

1816
01:26:12,160 --> 01:26:13,160
No I am good.

1817
01:26:13,160 --> 01:26:15,160
It is not worth it.

1818
01:26:15,160 --> 01:26:17,160
It is more trash for me.

1819
01:26:17,160 --> 01:26:21,160
I thought you would get a bag anyway.

1820
01:26:21,160 --> 01:26:23,160
Fuck you are going to be a douchebag.

1821
01:26:23,160 --> 01:26:25,160
Well if you are going to give me one regardless this is what it is.

1822
01:26:25,160 --> 01:26:27,160
You are going to get a bag no matter what you say.

1823
01:26:27,160 --> 01:26:28,160
Don't even ask.

1824
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:31,160
Some people autopilot it and say they don't want a bag.

1825
01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:32,160
You still do.

1826
01:26:32,160 --> 01:26:34,160
And I see them like oh fine.

1827
01:26:34,160 --> 01:26:40,160
Next one is about God damn it.

1828
01:26:40,160 --> 01:26:43,160
This person puts.

1829
01:26:43,160 --> 01:26:46,160
I don't respect the idea of secret shoppers.

1830
01:26:46,160 --> 01:26:50,160
They come to my checkout, actively hide things from me and lie to me.

1831
01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:56,160
They are expecting me to have a full blown conversation with each of my 300 to 400 customers a day.

1832
01:26:56,160 --> 01:27:00,160
Then push the loyalty app which will be another full blown conversation.

1833
01:27:00,160 --> 01:27:07,160
Because Harold 75 doesn't know how to use smartphones even though he has willingly bought one for himself.

1834
01:27:07,160 --> 01:27:10,160
There is way too much information here.

1835
01:27:10,160 --> 01:27:12,160
With not enough context.

1836
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:14,160
He is talking about this dude named Harold he hates.

1837
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:20,160
No no I think it is because there is an old man at 75 that they are just throwing out a random man.

1838
01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:21,160
I hope so.

1839
01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:23,160
Look I am done.

1840
01:27:23,160 --> 01:27:24,160
I am done.

1841
01:27:24,160 --> 01:27:26,160
I am a podslut you fool I am.

1842
01:27:26,160 --> 01:27:29,160
Look I am doing my best with the time I have.

1843
01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:32,160
If everything is done exactly perfect every single time.

1844
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:34,160
The tills are going to come to a grinding halt.

1845
01:27:34,160 --> 01:27:40,160
It is funny how secret shoppers never seem to be the ones that have to work in a retail proper.

1846
01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:47,160
Secret shoppers are at best trying to help things be more efficient and at worst professional snitches.

1847
01:27:47,160 --> 01:27:49,160
It feels more like the latter.

1848
01:27:49,160 --> 01:27:52,160
It feels more like they just do stuff to make your job even more difficult.

1849
01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:54,160
So I am fucking annoying.

1850
01:27:54,160 --> 01:27:56,160
Yeah yeah.

1851
01:27:56,160 --> 01:28:00,160
Next one is by Chef Wifey.

1852
01:28:00,160 --> 01:28:03,160
So it is a wifey that is a chef I guess.

1853
01:28:03,160 --> 01:28:06,160
Or maybe the guys wife is a chef I don't fucking know.

1854
01:28:06,160 --> 01:28:08,160
Or maybe it is the chefs wife.

1855
01:28:08,160 --> 01:28:11,160
That would be funny if they were trying to spell chief.

1856
01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:13,160
But they spelled chef.

1857
01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:14,160
Close enough.

1858
01:28:14,160 --> 01:28:18,160
You know how many people came and they don't know the difference between chef and chief.

1859
01:28:18,160 --> 01:28:20,160
People can barely spell it as it is.

1860
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:21,160
It is true.

1861
01:28:21,160 --> 01:28:23,160
This person pips. I get it.

1862
01:28:23,160 --> 01:28:27,160
Trying to find a relationship and you never know unless you shoot your shot.

1863
01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:33,160
But god damn for reference I work at an arcade and I never thought I was pretty.

1864
01:28:33,160 --> 01:28:35,160
After being...

1865
01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:37,160
Damn. Out the gate.

1866
01:28:37,160 --> 01:28:41,160
I know I am not dead out of town but damn I am not a fucking goblin.

1867
01:28:41,160 --> 01:28:43,160
Or am I?

1868
01:28:43,160 --> 01:28:45,160
Hobgoblin?

1869
01:28:45,160 --> 01:28:47,160
After being out of high school...

1870
01:28:47,160 --> 01:28:49,160
Fuck you Spider-Man.

1871
01:28:49,160 --> 01:28:56,160
I would always love the level of pain and hatred that Norman Hartford has for Spider-Man.

1872
01:28:56,160 --> 01:28:58,160
Fuck you Spider-Man.

1873
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:06,160
After being out of high school for like five years I have been hit on quite often.

1874
01:29:06,160 --> 01:29:09,160
And every time it ranges from being annoying to very creepy.

1875
01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:13,160
Also I am a lesbian and a happy relationship with my girlfriend for four years.

1876
01:29:13,160 --> 01:29:14,160
Congratulations.

1877
01:29:14,160 --> 01:29:18,160
I wear four promise rings to kind of help but still get hit on.

1878
01:29:18,160 --> 01:29:21,160
And I can't really be rude because I am on the clock.

1879
01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:22,160
But fuck man.

1880
01:29:22,160 --> 01:29:26,160
Just don't ask the employees out or ask for their number.

1881
01:29:26,160 --> 01:29:30,160
And if you do and I say no please don't make it awkward by lingering around.

1882
01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:35,160
By lingering around huh?

1883
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:36,160
What you supposed to do?

1884
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:38,160
Like I guess I better fucking leave.

1885
01:29:38,160 --> 01:29:40,160
Fuck. I just got a bed for my stumps.

1886
01:29:40,160 --> 01:29:46,160
That is hard to tell nowadays.

1887
01:29:46,160 --> 01:29:50,160
You like somebody and they turn out to be you know gay or something?

1888
01:29:50,160 --> 01:29:51,160
You're like well fuck.

1889
01:29:51,160 --> 01:29:52,160
That one I'll fuck.

1890
01:29:52,160 --> 01:29:55,160
You gotta move states.

1891
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:57,160
Completely fucked up.

1892
01:29:57,160 --> 01:30:00,160
Next one is by Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

1893
01:30:00,160 --> 01:30:02,160
That one I like.

1894
01:30:02,160 --> 01:30:05,160
It's obviously abbreviations and stuff.

1895
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:06,160
Very unique though.

1896
01:30:06,160 --> 01:30:08,160
At least I knew what it said.

1897
01:30:08,160 --> 01:30:11,160
I knew what this one was going for.

1898
01:30:11,160 --> 01:30:12,160
This person pits.

1899
01:30:12,160 --> 01:30:14,160
I was having diarrhea.

1900
01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:16,160
Like Taco Bell stable.

1901
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:19,160
Cheesy Gordita.

1902
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,160
I have IBS.

1903
01:30:20,160 --> 01:30:23,160
I put a sign on the door that said computer problems.

1904
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:27,160
Because I thought it sounded better instead of putting a sign that said sorry.

1905
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:31,160
I'm having explicit diarrhea in the bathroom.

1906
01:30:31,160 --> 01:30:38,160
And I was only in there for like ten minutes and of course some bitch Karen came by and she called corporate to complain.

1907
01:30:38,160 --> 01:30:39,160
And then I got wrote up.

1908
01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:40,160
How wonderful.

1909
01:30:40,160 --> 01:30:42,160
Damn I got wrote up for taking a dump.

1910
01:30:42,160 --> 01:30:46,160
I would have been having intestinal problems.

1911
01:30:46,160 --> 01:30:48,160
Having explosive shitting.

1912
01:30:48,160 --> 01:30:51,160
Or you're saying having personal issues.

1913
01:30:51,160 --> 01:30:53,160
And it doesn't have to be computer problems.

1914
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:54,160
Yeah but Karen's don't care.

1915
01:30:54,160 --> 01:30:55,160
No Karen.

1916
01:30:55,160 --> 01:30:57,160
It's my health on the line.

1917
01:30:57,160 --> 01:30:59,160
So you're saying I would go straight to HR.

1918
01:30:59,160 --> 01:31:02,160
She's causing she made me have to shit my pants.

1919
01:31:02,160 --> 01:31:04,160
I would shit myself and then blame my purpose.

1920
01:31:04,160 --> 01:31:05,160
Yeah.

1921
01:31:05,160 --> 01:31:07,160
I had explosive diarrhea.

1922
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:09,160
Look what you did Karen.

1923
01:31:09,160 --> 01:31:13,160
All right and last one is by self soothing it.

1924
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:16,160
So you're checking off.

1925
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:17,160
First in post.

1926
01:31:17,160 --> 01:31:23,160
I'm 19 and I just started working pickup in a grocery store.

1927
01:31:23,160 --> 01:31:27,160
My first week of training was five eight and a half hour shifts in a row.

1928
01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:30,160
Which I didn't mind because it allowed me to learn very quickly.

1929
01:31:30,160 --> 01:31:36,160
On my first five hour shift after finishing training I was asked if I could stay beyond the end of my shift.

1930
01:31:36,160 --> 01:31:42,160
For a little background I'm a massive pushover so I have never been good at saying no.

1931
01:31:42,160 --> 01:31:45,160
All my previous jobs have taken advantage of me because of this.

1932
01:31:45,160 --> 01:31:52,160
But I also thought this one would be different because my shifts had actual scheduled starts and end times.

1933
01:31:52,160 --> 01:31:58,160
So when my manager asked me if I could stay extra three hours I of course thought it was an optional thing.

1934
01:31:58,160 --> 01:32:02,160
A few of my co-workers had called out that day so they were getting really swamped.

1935
01:32:02,160 --> 01:32:03,160
I hope you can find somebody.

1936
01:32:03,160 --> 01:32:04,160
Good luck.

1937
01:32:04,160 --> 01:32:06,160
Bye.

1938
01:32:06,160 --> 01:32:07,160
See ya.

1939
01:32:07,160 --> 01:32:11,160
I was carrying a lot of workload even though it was only my sixth day.

1940
01:32:11,160 --> 01:32:13,160
So I looked forward to the end of my shift.

1941
01:32:13,160 --> 01:32:24,160
That was how I could keep from over exerting myself because I knew I'd be done within a couple of hours.

1942
01:32:24,160 --> 01:32:29,160
When the manager asked I told him I couldn't because I had plans with family.

1943
01:32:29,160 --> 01:32:30,160
Which was half true.

1944
01:32:30,160 --> 01:32:38,160
I felt good because the previous day I had also made sure to leave at the end of my shift and resist the temptation to stay and help out.

1945
01:32:38,160 --> 01:32:46,160
He then proceeds to tell me that the shifts I actually scheduled for online are more of a formality.

1946
01:32:46,160 --> 01:32:53,160
And that I am contractually obligated to stay beyond my shift if asked.

1947
01:32:53,160 --> 01:33:00,160
I was really surprised and confused because no one had informed me of this obligation and I didn't even know something like that was actually legal.

1948
01:33:00,160 --> 01:33:04,160
I ended up allowed to leave on time that day because I had plans.

1949
01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:09,160
But the idea that I could be asked to stay far beyond my shift without giving any choice really upset me.

1950
01:33:09,160 --> 01:33:16,160
Now I'm anxious because it feels like all the shifts I'm scheduled for aren't binding at all and I'll end up working until everything is done.

1951
01:33:16,160 --> 01:33:18,160
Just like my old jobs.

1952
01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:23,160
If I had known about the contractual obligation I would have never taken the job to begin with.

1953
01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:24,160
I won't go into retail.

1954
01:33:24,160 --> 01:33:26,160
Just quit then.

1955
01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:29,160
There's other retail jobs out there related to one another.

1956
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:31,160
They're almost like that anyway.

1957
01:33:31,160 --> 01:33:33,160
Can you stay an extra 57 hours?

1958
01:33:33,160 --> 01:33:34,160
No.

1959
01:33:34,160 --> 01:33:35,160
Well you got to.

1960
01:33:35,160 --> 01:33:36,160
You're like aw fuck.

1961
01:33:36,160 --> 01:33:37,160
Okay bye.

1962
01:33:37,160 --> 01:33:42,160
See if I'm forced to then it's like oh well you're forced to find a new person again.

1963
01:33:42,160 --> 01:33:44,160
Have fun.

1964
01:33:44,160 --> 01:33:53,160
You know what forces me is I saw this meme once where there's a version of you saying you don't want to take those extra hours.

1965
01:33:53,160 --> 01:33:57,160
And then there's a scene of Chris Rock slapping some guy.

1966
01:33:57,160 --> 01:34:02,160
And it's basically on the top it says me and it says you're leaving right.

1967
01:34:02,160 --> 01:34:07,160
On the bottom it says Bills on Chris Rock and then it's me getting slapped by Bills.

1968
01:34:07,160 --> 01:34:11,160
Get in there god dang it.

1969
01:34:11,160 --> 01:34:12,160
Fucking hilarious.

1970
01:34:12,160 --> 01:34:19,160
Instead of keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth it's keep those thoughts of ever leaving out of your fucking head.

1971
01:34:19,160 --> 01:34:20,160
Something like that.

1972
01:34:20,160 --> 01:34:22,160
I got to fight it but it's fucking hilarious.

1973
01:34:22,160 --> 01:34:28,160
Basically you're yourself you're like damn those extra hours I need that money though.

1974
01:34:28,160 --> 01:34:30,160
I got to pay these fucking gas bills.

1975
01:34:30,160 --> 01:34:34,160
You know my cousin had a fucking $250 gas bill during the summer.

1976
01:34:34,160 --> 01:34:35,160
Gas bill?

1977
01:34:35,160 --> 01:34:38,160
Yeah I'm like what the fuck were you doing?

1978
01:34:38,160 --> 01:34:41,160
What the fuck were you doing?

1979
01:34:41,160 --> 01:34:44,160
Gas bill dude?

1980
01:34:44,160 --> 01:34:45,160
I was like what?

1981
01:34:45,160 --> 01:34:46,160
I couldn't believe it.

1982
01:34:46,160 --> 01:34:53,160
Like what the fuck you better check your fucking pipe seat for neighbors or that's actually part of your gas because in no fucking way.

1983
01:34:53,160 --> 01:34:55,160
Must be cooking nonstop.

1984
01:34:55,160 --> 01:34:57,160
How many hot showers were you taking shit?

1985
01:34:57,160 --> 01:34:58,160
I don't fucking know what he's up to.

1986
01:34:58,160 --> 01:35:01,160
Like god that's high.

1987
01:35:01,160 --> 01:35:02,160
Yeah.

1988
01:35:02,160 --> 01:35:03,160
And it's summer too.

1989
01:35:03,160 --> 01:35:05,160
That's what I was saying in the summer?

1990
01:35:05,160 --> 01:35:10,160
Like boy there's been boiling hot water while he takes a shower in 100 degree weather.

1991
01:35:10,160 --> 01:35:11,160
Electric bill?

1992
01:35:11,160 --> 01:35:13,160
I can see the double that's fine.

1993
01:35:13,160 --> 01:35:15,160
Like that doesn't surprise me one bit.

1994
01:35:15,160 --> 01:35:16,160
But gas?

1995
01:35:16,160 --> 01:35:17,160
That is weird.

1996
01:35:17,160 --> 01:35:21,160
The hell are you running off of gas in the summer?

1997
01:35:21,160 --> 01:35:23,160
Guess we'll never know.

1998
01:35:23,160 --> 01:35:25,160
I want to know now.

1999
01:35:25,160 --> 01:35:31,160
What the hell were you using that much gas in the summer for?

2000
01:35:31,160 --> 01:35:32,160
Nobody's out there.

2001
01:35:32,160 --> 01:35:35,160
And that's power your damn car either.

2002
01:35:35,160 --> 01:35:36,160
That's a good question.

2003
01:35:36,160 --> 01:35:40,160
Alaska would be like I don't know.

2004
01:35:40,160 --> 01:35:42,160
Because during the summer whenever I had gas.

2005
01:35:42,160 --> 01:35:49,160
My dad's nephews I guess so my cousin on my dad's side they had moved to America for the first time.

2006
01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:52,160
They got an apartment in his name to help him.

2007
01:35:52,160 --> 01:35:53,160
He wanted to help him out.

2008
01:35:53,160 --> 01:35:58,160
And he got a phone call saying like the water company was like yeah you guys got a pool?

2009
01:35:58,160 --> 01:35:59,160
He's like a pool?

2010
01:35:59,160 --> 01:36:01,160
Yeah $500 water bill.

2011
01:36:01,160 --> 01:36:06,160
Like $500?

2012
01:36:06,160 --> 01:36:10,160
That is a high water bill.

2013
01:36:10,160 --> 01:36:13,160
He was like what the fuck are y'all doing?

2014
01:36:13,160 --> 01:36:15,160
I guess they're in Mexico.

2015
01:36:15,160 --> 01:36:20,160
They didn't have good running water so they must have been just limited on just drinking that.

2016
01:36:20,160 --> 01:36:21,160
What the fuck?

2017
01:36:21,160 --> 01:36:22,160
That's a lot of water.

2018
01:36:22,160 --> 01:36:24,160
Most water bills are like 40 bucks.

2019
01:36:24,160 --> 01:36:30,160
They work generally and then they go up to like you know depending on the size of a house.

2020
01:36:30,160 --> 01:36:32,160
An average size house probably about like 100 bucks.

2021
01:36:32,160 --> 01:36:36,160
They must be running the shower nonstop all month.

2022
01:36:36,160 --> 01:36:38,160
Shit just in the backyard he's flooding.

2023
01:36:38,160 --> 01:36:42,160
Maybe I don't know that's a lot for even if it's like four or five of them.

2024
01:36:42,160 --> 01:36:45,160
I know businesses that don't have that high of a water bill.

2025
01:36:45,160 --> 01:36:47,160
Damn.

2026
01:36:47,160 --> 01:36:49,160
Yeah so he was a little bit upset about that.

2027
01:36:49,160 --> 01:36:53,160
So now you got to explain the gas bill and the water bill.

2028
01:36:53,160 --> 01:36:59,160
Well I can't my dad's dead so unless I can find a Ouija board I'll never know.

2029
01:36:59,160 --> 01:37:01,160
I mean I can understand electric bills those things.

2030
01:37:01,160 --> 01:37:03,160
Yeah those always fluctuate.

2031
01:37:03,160 --> 01:37:06,160
You can always jack up the price of an electric bill easily.

2032
01:37:06,160 --> 01:37:12,160
If you've ever been in a house with no AC for a day at 100 degrees outside you're like fuck.

2033
01:37:12,160 --> 01:37:16,160
You think like oh I got this fan on the ceiling I'm going to get my fuck.

2034
01:37:16,160 --> 01:37:20,160
That fan will just be like a fucking heat vortex.

2035
01:37:20,160 --> 01:37:26,160
You'll be waking up in a cold like warm sweat like huh huh.

2036
01:37:26,160 --> 01:37:31,160
That fan don't do shit without it without some AC backing it up.

2037
01:37:31,160 --> 01:37:35,160
That fan just like yeah I guarantee you won't do a damn thing.

2038
01:37:35,160 --> 01:37:37,160
Just squeaking in pain because it's been on for so long.

2039
01:37:37,160 --> 01:37:42,160
Yeah.

2040
01:37:42,160 --> 01:37:47,160
Yeah because last year our AC went out for like oh it was just a day though thankfully.

2041
01:37:47,160 --> 01:37:48,160
Just a day.

2042
01:37:48,160 --> 01:37:54,160
Yeah because the fucking fan was just running and it's like yeah what they doing a damn thing.

2043
01:37:54,160 --> 01:37:57,160
Just fucking sitting there just hot.

2044
01:37:57,160 --> 01:38:01,160
So I had to go to work where it was at least even hotter actually it worked.

2045
01:38:01,160 --> 01:38:04,160
But then you come back and it feels better.

2046
01:38:04,160 --> 01:38:08,160
Makes it seem like you actually got some AC by leaving out of the hot building.

2047
01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:09,160
Maybe.

2048
01:38:09,160 --> 01:38:10,160
That's a good one.

2049
01:38:10,160 --> 01:38:14,160
I got off work the AC was fixed so thank God for that.

2050
01:38:14,160 --> 01:38:23,160
Yeah being in anywhere like from Oklahoma South through the southern states there ain't no way in hell you can make it through the summer with no AC at all.

2051
01:38:23,160 --> 01:38:25,160
I don't know how they do it in Nevada and Phoenix but man.

2052
01:38:25,160 --> 01:38:34,160
Or to be fair unless you live in a retirement community where they already have their heater still on in the summer then that's the only way.

2053
01:38:34,160 --> 01:38:36,160
Because God bitch.

2054
01:38:36,160 --> 01:38:45,160
Just go like for my type of job you go to different places but God you go into nursing homes and retirement communities.

2055
01:38:45,160 --> 01:38:47,160
Fuck.

2056
01:38:47,160 --> 01:38:50,160
Like that shit is so hot.

2057
01:38:50,160 --> 01:38:51,160
That's what keeps us alive.

2058
01:38:51,160 --> 01:38:54,160
That's the hate.

2059
01:38:54,160 --> 01:38:57,160
It's the only thing keeping their joints and organs in place.

2060
01:38:57,160 --> 01:38:58,160
It's the only body warmth thing.

2061
01:38:58,160 --> 01:38:59,160
Yeah basically.

2062
01:38:59,160 --> 01:39:02,160
It's on a death's door basically.

2063
01:39:02,160 --> 01:39:11,160
That's why they moved to Miami and shit because it's like almost 96 degrees all year round which is your body like 98.6 where it's somewhere in there body temperature.

2064
01:39:11,160 --> 01:39:16,160
It's a substitution for our own lack of warmth.

2065
01:39:16,160 --> 01:39:17,160
I've been into these.

2066
01:39:17,160 --> 01:39:19,160
I aced into this one old lady.

2067
01:39:19,160 --> 01:39:21,160
She used to have her thermostat set to 87.

2068
01:39:21,160 --> 01:39:23,160
Fuck.

2069
01:39:23,160 --> 01:39:25,160
All year round.

2070
01:39:25,160 --> 01:39:26,160
Jesus.

2071
01:39:26,160 --> 01:39:27,160
87.

2072
01:39:27,160 --> 01:39:28,160
It's like you go in there and it's like.

2073
01:39:28,160 --> 01:39:30,160
Just fucking a little stung in here man.

2074
01:39:30,160 --> 01:39:32,160
It's like the temperature is just right.

2075
01:39:32,160 --> 01:39:36,160
You go into a nursing home that's got a bunch of heaters and stuff like that on.

2076
01:39:36,160 --> 01:39:38,160
It's like it's hot but it smells like piss.

2077
01:39:38,160 --> 01:39:40,160
Oh God.

2078
01:39:40,160 --> 01:39:42,160
Ain't gonna be fun when we get old is it.

2079
01:39:42,160 --> 01:39:46,160
I won't let myself get to that point.

2080
01:39:46,160 --> 01:39:49,160
Well we get old eventually.

2081
01:39:49,160 --> 01:39:51,160
I mean the oldest man alive 150.

2082
01:39:51,160 --> 01:39:54,160
Well there's other ways to record living.

2083
01:39:54,160 --> 01:39:56,160
There's ways to prevent that.

2084
01:39:56,160 --> 01:39:59,160
Go to Canada and you go into one of their their booths up there.

2085
01:39:59,160 --> 01:40:01,160
Their booths.

2086
01:40:01,160 --> 01:40:07,160
You know I can't say it on here because it'll get.

2087
01:40:07,160 --> 01:40:10,160
Anybody the booths the booths of the Futurama booths.

2088
01:40:10,160 --> 01:40:11,160
Yes.

2089
01:40:11,160 --> 01:40:12,160
Yes.

2090
01:40:12,160 --> 01:40:14,160
No thanks.

2091
01:40:14,160 --> 01:40:16,160
That's gonna have to tag me kicking the screaming.

2092
01:40:16,160 --> 01:40:20,160
Let's fucking go.

2093
01:40:20,160 --> 01:40:22,160
But anything else that before we head out tonight.

2094
01:40:22,160 --> 01:40:24,160
No that's it for today.

2095
01:40:24,160 --> 01:40:27,160
We will talk to you guys on the next one.

2096
01:40:27,160 --> 01:40:44,160
Adios.