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We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show
I've got a few things to cover tonight. So let's go ahead and get started
Yes, we start with of course cozy nights with a K instead of the end
Because it makes more sense
And of course, it's a segment of the show kind of like a little bit like a talk show
But more like a variety show where we cover different topics that I enjoy
we start with the news the weird news that I like to
Research and we start with actor Pierce Brosnan
This is fall from the Associated Press on my it's an app on my phone I just go through news
cycles once a day and see what they got so basically
He's doing court for mandatory mandatory court appearance on January 23rd for
Trespassing in an off-limits area in Yellowstone Park
you got he got two federal citations and
He wasn't there to make a movie. He was there just as a sightseer
Yeah, he just kind of wandered off in his own little spot and they caught him
What part is blocked off in the yellows the geysers? Well, you blow your face off
And
Yeah, he was in mammoth terrace, which is the northern part of Yellowstone and
You know people are probably wondering less kind of excessive. It's not the geysers
Millions of people visit Yellowstone every year and some of them go off-bounds and when the guys will go off they get burnt real bad
And that's why there is there's heavy fines
there is
Jail time and
A banishment from the park if they catch you off-bounds
So they have to basically punish you to keep you safe
right is how it works nowadays because people are stupid and they will go off and
Yeah, so Pierce Brosnan, you know, he said he's going even the James Bond can escape a federal citation
So we'll see what happens on January 23rd and more than likely there's no jail time
He's gonna get some he's gonna get a massive fine. This was probably gonna happen probably the send an example
Maybe I'm probably banned. Damn. I got a band James Bond from Yellowstone Park. He's James Bond
He's supposed to find a way back in maybe
All right story number two, by the way, that one was the 28th of December a story happened
written by
Let me give credit here by mead Groover
This next one doesn't have a writer on it
but uh
this TV presenter an actress
Anastasia if Liva if I can say that right she hosted a holiday party at a Moscow nightclub in in Russia
Oh, yeah, Russia the funnest place on earth
Everybody's a a well
They sent my nickname to
Assholes my cousin's room. I'm gonna move my nickname in the two group chat to something else
Okay, so
she hosts he was hosting a party and
all the you know, like the
Celebrity elite of Russia like, you know, every country has their own actors are famous people that we don't even know about
You have global famous people like like soccer players that everybody looks soccer. They know right and you have smaller
Country level celebrities that if they went to a different country back who the fuck are you right?
basically, and that she was I guess she's one of the never heard of her ever and
She had a dress code for the party which was
a dress almost naked
So you could go as naked
But not fully naked right I guess close to being naked as you humanly possibly can
which is just I guess put a sock over your cock and balls and you're good and
so the pictures got out on the
Social media and there was a public outcry
But one of them a rapper by the name of Vasio. His real name is Nikolai that's it
Yeah, that's a levy. That's a little less. It'll a I can't say his name. I'm sorry
Massey yeah, let's see. Let's see. Yeah. Yeah, let's see. Yeah, I
Learned how to read Russian by the way names do it a Tom Clancy's books back when I was a kid
I'm a little rusty, but I kind of remember and all he had on was a sock over his genitals, which is what I just said he
Got arrested and fined $2,000 for pet petty
hooliganism and
He would the fine was because of violating the country's propaganda law
So 20 people followed that then 22 people father you one billion dollar rupee
One billion dollars is only 11 million dollars in America
Really one billion rupes?
They followed against
It'll yell if Liva evil Eva. I should probably rehearse these I'm just riffing off
They claim they suffered moral damage from you in the party photos. I'm like don't fucking look at him then
Like they're their eyes were just destroyed
They're like, oh my god, I'm a homosexual now because of these photos of this guy swinging his dick in a socket
I read any monetary compensation
Well to be fair they were gonna give donate the money to the military effort I guess
So it wasn't like they were just looking for a handout right because in Russia everyone's all about you know, look the country first
Communism look how well it does
They're not commenting supposedly and probably not supposedly I
Don't see
Putin, you know tending his farm, you know, I mean
He's he was rather rich
and
So this lawyer Julia
Fedotova quoted quoted saying this is a hard to quote by the way
People can gather half naked or naked or in quilted jackets over
dogs
Socially disapproved does not necessarily equal illegal
They were basically treated like it was a crime what they did
Right, they were having a private party some pictures got out. They should not have gotten in trouble for it
They did cuz it's a private party again. It's you know
Country Russia's a crackdown and everything. So they ruined their they're ruined their all these celebrities were apologizing
I'm probably apologize for having to dick my dick in a sock. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again
So, uh, so that's the news
Funny is always to me. Anyway, let's take the things I enjoy
We'll see what how follows for forward? Sorry guys. It's our first day back. So we're kind of riffing. It's not it's very informal
So you're enjoying them informal?
talk show
So next we move on to cozy kitchen, which I you know
It's not a little food segment because I love eating food. I'm a beached whale
if you have a balloon a balloon and
I found these recipes on the
Andy and calm
You can find the read the full recipes on there. These like just an oversight, but I found this interesting because
basically the the great the most fascinating thing to me about food is you can take the same thing and if you tweak it with
Various additives to it. It becomes a whole different food. Mm-hmm. So basically these are eight
Rice recipes all with the base of jasmine rice and they're all wildly different like this food is just so amazing
Who doesn't love to eat?
It's an anorexic. Yeah, that makes sense
Eat some food is what I'm saying. All right, so we start with the number one garlic butter rice
All you need is olive oil butter yellow onion minced garlic
Jasmine rice, of course broth salt and pepper done. It's no longer jasmine rice. It is now
Garlic butter and then on the and then to completely change the same thing
to make rice
olive oil butter yellow onion minced garlic jasmine rice to make broth and bay leaf
You have a completely different looking rice like a hundred percent different by the way, I tried this one, right?
I made this recipe, you know what happened and tastes like anything
Like there's like I don't know how to explain it. It didn't taste like it wasn't good. What what it wasn't bad
It didn't taste like anything
You know, like even white rice has a flavor this did not have any flavor I was eating nothing
I've never had a food that I did not like or did not hate because it was so bland. I
Just kept eating thinking like the flavor like maybe would have an after flavor. I don't know what I did wrong with turmeric rice
But it didn't taste like a single thing in my life
I'm like, what is there's no there's nothing
There's I had no frame of reference to figure out whether I liked it or hated it because it didn't taste like anything
I
Hopefully I'm not the only one because it was I spent an hour cooking this food there was no aftertaste there was nothing I
Was just eating rice cooked rice
You paid flavorless flavorless. You know what flavor is rice tastes like nothing
I've never eaten nothing before in my life. I don't know what it tastes like eating the void. Yeah, it was weird
I'm just eating it and eating it and it's like not nothing
I've never like everything has a flavor that you eat or a taste you don't like it. Even blandness has a flavor. It's bland
This was nothing
I thought I had a cove it
All right, next we move on to Spanish rice my people's rice
You got olive oil butter yellow onion minced garlic jasmine rice broth tomato sauce and tomatoes for some fucking reason
And spices it doesn't say what spices you gotta go look up the actual recipe, but just a bunch of spices in there
Hopefully they don't blow up. They don't blow up in your face
That next up we have cilantro lime rice by the way the the the pictures here
They're all vastly different looking with the same base, right? They're all a hundred percent different
Damn, I love food
See now cilantro rice can taste good or bad
Oh, let's find out what cilantro lime rice would all you need is olive oil butter yellow onion
They also have the same kind of like base ingredients at first
Jasmine rice broth limes and cilantro. Maybe it's like depending on how much lime you use maybe like it becomes too for me
It's how much cilantro you use cilantro because for me it's cilantro has a soapy taste
Oh
What tastes like salt kind of yeah, heesh
To me. Oh
Like I don't know what it is. It just has a like an aftertaste of like you just put soap in your mouth
That's weird
Growing up Hispanic. Yeah, you're yeah, you throw cilantro and everything on top of all the tacos
Well, I said it depends on how much
If we got broccoli cheddar rice, that's always good olive oil butter broccoli jasmine rice broth garlic powder and cheese
basic and easy
Exactly. You've ever watched learn how to cook by the way. It is a necessity. It's like a fundamental necessity of human
Life right now and it's easy. Yeah, it's easy
If you would what you lack is not that you don't know how to cook is that you don't you lack the energy to want?
To cook because it is a time-consuming process sometimes and something you want to you get off working like fucking McDonald's
You know and you know to be fair most the recipes you can go off a little bit of the recipe you don't have to
As uncle Roger would say you use feeling I was feeling I'd rather say go with the recipe until you know it
100% and then you can deviate no, that's what I'm saying
But you can the only thing you cannot deviate when you cook is baking
The cookies and stuff. Yeah, because if you go off of it, like if you fuck something up on that, oh my god harder
They're harder than a cinderbron
Get a cookie that you can bust open a little bit of biscuit that can sink a submarine
My Popeye's you know dry as fuck the dry is
Biscuit known to man
Next we got taco rice
Olive oil butter yellow onion jasmine rice broth tomato sauce green chilies and taco seasoning looks delicious
It's even got a different color than Spanish rice, but it looks almost like a like a darker deeper color
Yeah, it's the taco seasoning this one. I probably would never try coconut pineapple rice
Coconut milk broth jasmine rice soy sauce and pineapple. You don't want that. I don't want I don't want my pizza
I don't want in my rice. I don't want it in my life
I
Sounds something put that damn pineapple upside down. Let's have an orgy
You didn't know that the upside down pineapple
My brother lives by a place that they have one of those what's the address just for research references
Next up is Cajun rice. So why there's no shrimp in this by the way, I'm gonna be dead honest with you
But that'd be shrimp Cajun rice. I guess yeah
olive oil butter yellow onion bell pepper jasmine rice broth Cajun seasoning and bay leaf and
That ladies and gentlemen is our food for today
There's a multitude of ways to cook jasmine rice apparently. Yeah, they're probably even more than that. You can also use it to make a
like
Onigiri, which is those rice balls you can use it for that. It's only gonna attack
It is an attack from Zara from one piece. I want to get it
Oh, and I get it. Yeah, it actually is is it's hit one of his tags rice ball attack. Yeah basic
No, you gotta love
We'll be going deeper like if I get the last video we had was the the fool's loaf that
Gargantuan peanut butter and jelly sandwich that killed the king of us Presley that was rumored to kill him. Yeah
Yeah, oh man. That thing was a beast of a sandwich. So you can at least make some of this healthy
Not my way, but I put it on a pizza
Put the rice on top of pizza, yeah, oh my god
You know how car maybe that would be I don't know what cops are but keep him out of my life
That's bread. That's right. It's all the only thing I have in my life. It makes me happy as carbs in
All right. So now we move on to the main segment
If you've seen the old older videos you've seen us do
movie reviews and stuff and
If you've seen the very first video the of the first episode of South Park
I did was a hugely deep research because I don't I guess it's been like two weeks researching it
And I guess I've fallen kind of on the wayside of that. It's been like really haphazardly research
I just watch it like I had bullshit
But from now on now that I've weaned off of streaming services because I'm broke
More like I've been forced off the tit of streaming
And even with Tubi being free it's also not as a
Like it just watching a DVD and like really watching like the first you watch the episode the movie or the TV show the episode
then you have all these special features like the commentary and the
interviews and trailers and like I just want like so from now on I'm gonna do
Very deep dives and movies and TV but over the span of several weeks
So it'd be the same movie for a couple of weeks as I watch more like if I watch the movie first
Then I watch the commentary if it's got it. I watch any special features has just to not understand it from the very
Center of it all the way out and we're gonna start with the movie that I enjoyed that you and me saw in theaters. Oh
Shit that was loud
There we go if you've been watching this video
There we go. If you do you remember unfinished business with Vince Vaughn?
Back in we saw back in 2015. Oh fuck. Oh, yeah
We went to theaters to watch it
It's a
Here's what here's what remind you they were in the bathroom ones in Germany and Dave Franco
James Franco's brother. He was a little bit like
His character was I guess autistic. Mm-hmm, and he fell on a penis like that penis touched my face
and
He shook the penis hand one thing he shook the penis with I cut kinda it cut kind of hard in my hand
Remember that?
Here's what's crazy about that movie I
Still have max right HBO max and so that's where I watched it a couple days ago
I watched the movie three times already the last week
Cuz it's so
Perfectly like it just goes from point to point without any like weighing down with
Bullshit plot or story or scenes like it's just a tightly written well-crafted story to me
No one liked it. It was a bomb off a box office bomb
35 million
Budget 14 million revenue. Oh god
Did he made me a break halfway
But I really enjoyed it and
Life is crazy because I'm watching this movie, right? Like man
Be great they made a sequel and then
Yesterday or the day before I found out that one of the actors in it the oldest one cuz you got Vince Vaughn
Let's see you got let's see here the cast
You got Vince Vaughn is Daniel Dan truckman the main character. Mm-hmm
You've got Dave Franco as Mike pancake the side character. He's like the younger one and so it's like midlife is a
Vince Vaughn
but Vince Vaughn newbie and young is Dave Franco and then the old veteran is a
Timothy McWinters played by Tom Wilkinson who died a couple days ago. Oh, did he? Yeah
I don't know that crazy isn't it?
Like I'm watching this movie and like I'm watching this actor right and then two days later he dies
Like how weird to watch to get the time, you know, yeah, and I love this character in this movie
I just want to have sex one time if we'll pair a position
one is yeah
You remember the week better and then Dave Franco trying to do it, but he had a heart
He had the girl holding him up. Yeah, so
Now you're right
Like just say just put me down my balls kind of hurt
So it was just weird like I'm watching this movie, right and then I just like out of like
I would have not realized he died right or have paid much attention
I did and I not watch this movie just that moment right? I just like oh another act to die. That's unfortunate, you know
Controversies to his family
But he's dead. I'm like, oh he's I was out of the devil. I was a man. I just watched him in unfinished business
Yeah, man, that sucks
so basically the movie
It follows Vince Vaughn's character and who he quits his job because he gets in an argument with his boss because he's the boss
Chuck Portnoy played by a woman but her name is Chuck Portnoy and
I never explained why
Which makes me funnier. Yeah, I guess it's not like why did your name Chuck Portnoy and
He quits his job
Because she was gonna cut five percent of his income for the next year
He's like I'm not there's five percent a lot when you have a wife two kids a mortgage. So he's like, fuck it
I'm gonna start my own business and I'm gonna compete with you and like you know, you may compete with dynamic
He's like you're damn right
And the business is fucking random as fuck. It's called metal swarfing selling field. So they sell a swarf
Which is like the metal residue after you make a bridge or something
Like I don't know what the swarf is. I know more about sort of now that I did before I started the movie
And we're gonna get our numbers up
We got a we got a fudged into the numbers to make sure you got to convert it twice
I'm like, what if I'm not trying to sell I'm gonna start to sell a swarf now
Knights of entertainment also sells work the Knights of Swarf you can buy your own supply of swarf basically
so
He leaves the the job
But he first he makes a speech like who wants to come with me and start a brand new company and no one comes with him
He goes outside and he turns around and he's putting the stuff in his car and he notices that Dave Franco
His character and Tom Wilkins his character are behind her. He's all excited
Oh, you guys decide to follow me like no Tom just got fired, but he still wants to work
So he joins Vince Vaughn's character. Yeah
Dave had an interview there, but didn't get the job. So he's like well, let's see if you hire me
so if last especially basically the movie is just them trying to close the deal because it jumps from that moment a year later and
They're trying to make this massive deal that'll really like support their company because if not the company goes under
They they came to foreign office. They've been working on Dunkin Donuts for the last year. Oh, yeah
Yeah
And
So they end up going to Portland to like they really go on talking about the handshake
The famous handshake like if you get the handshake, even though it's not like a that's like a trimonder tradition the handshake, right?
so they're gonna go to Portland to get the handshake and close the deal and
Of course Chuck's there
Also making the deal. So now they have to go back to principal
offers or something that Mike said and
I say that this movie has it has a to me. It had a perfect balance of raunchy and relatable, right?
They had really raunchy moments
You're like Jesus and then I had really relatable moments like him and his wife
Vince Vaughn's character and his wife
trying to
figure out what to do with their son who's getting really bullied at school and
They're trying to she's trying to get Mike or no Dan Dan truckman the husband
And try to get him to agree to send him to private school
But that's $19,000 tuition and he's like like he's worried about not as close in the deal, right?
He won't be able to afford it. He's trying to stall her. It's like, oh shit
I can't afford it right now, but and of course his son's like getting super bullied
He's like he asked he asked his son like how many kids bully you in school?
No, he's like how many kids are in school 26 or in your class 26 including him right 26, right?
How many kids are bullying you 25? I'm like, yeah
You gotta stand up for yourself
By the way, the kids like 300 pounds like six two just start swinging. Yeah, I just started knocking these motherfuckers out
They'll get over it
But they're trying to do an actual life lesson like you know, yeah and uh, I thought it would be funnier if he just starts
smashing on people
And uh, so he's worried about that
Tom's character
Is wants to his they all have a reason for needing this deal to get through
Tom's character
He wants to get the benefits from this deal because he wants to divorce his wife
Because he's he's that's the only woman he's ever been with romantically
And she is a cruel human being he says like she's cruel
You know what? She looks like she looks like that that vending machine over there
And it is a fucking a goddamn pecs pepsi machine
and then and then my uh, my pancake, uh, dave franklin's character who's uh, uh, I don't want to I don't know how to say it
tastefully like he's mentally
deficient, but he's like
He's uh, he tries like he's smart in certain ways. You know what I mean? So he's autistic. I guess so
But the number explains that in the movie
But he because he's socially awkward, right? Yeah, but he's extremely smart at one thing
Yeah, he's like really good at numbers in the company. That's autism
And uh, at least on the autistic spectrum his his character is so like like dave franco can act
Because you believe that he is that person in that movie
And then they don't make fun of him for being the way he is right? Like they say that's just how that's mike
and uh mike's like your wife looks like a square and then dan's like
That's a square to you
And he's like mike's like yeah. Yeah
He knows you messed up. That's why he gets all nervous and then he dan does a
Rectangle shape that right there. That's a square. It's like yeah
Yeah, it's such a funny exchange this right here is a square
So, yeah, uh tom wants to divorce his wife
And but he wants to leave with some money. He's not a completely asshole. He wants to leave her with a good
Fund retirement fund and all he wants to do is have sex wheelbarrow style
Two times in the movie mike's like so how is it like a wheelbarrow and then dan's like could you hold her legs off fuck
Because you explained it like three times already just hold her legs off fuck
I love when he gets mad at mike because he's like like because mike never stops asking random questions
Just a whole bunch of random questions
By the way, mike does the wheelbarrow position in the movie
He does it once but he does it with the girl holding her him up
I don't know how he's in her right?
I guess he's in like I guess his dick is crushing his balls as it comes up. You know what I mean?
Like in your mind look at it logistically, right?
His dick would be pushed down and up
Right, so it'd be like pressing up against his balls. That's why he's like my balls kind of hurt
And she's like it's funny because she's how willing of a partner she is
She's holding him up right and he's like, do you feel good? She's like no
like oh
And then later on he meets a woman by the way, mike is a uh, a magnet for women gets laid twice on his business trip
And then the second woman, uh, he does the wheelbarrow wheelbarrow position, right? Right the correct, right?
And he's like, it's so easy
It makes so much sense
He was so proud of himself. He actually got it
Yeah, and freaking tom, uh during the portland trip before they go to berlin because the the portland trip, uh portland trip, uh
falls through
uh, he hires and uh, uh a french maid
And unfortunately it goes into dan's room and he gets the actual maid
so uh
Tom is sitting in the chair, right watching this regular maid for the hotel do her job, right?
He's like, I like to see titty and i'm not seeing enough titty from you
So every once in a while if you turn around, let me see some titty and i'm like tom
It's a little actual
maid
And then in dan's room the maid's like basically asking him to jerk off and dan's like what the
What the fuck?
He's a happily married man. I'm gonna need you to leave this building right now
Uh, it's a funny explain so it's always the raunchy but then the relatable right the family stuff that he's trying to make sure his family's happy
his son's uh
And his daughter he's got this little it's I love this way. They constructed the narrative for the movie
He does a narration like voiceover
But he does it in a way that makes sense in the movie because his daughter
uh once she's got this like uh school uh
Assignment that says uh, who's your father or who's your daddy?
And he's supposed to explain his job who he is all this stuff and he's trying to figure like who's your daddy
Well, your daddy he works for swarf and he he does it's uh, uh metal runoff from big
You know what fucking stupid it's boring shit like even the narration, right?
So it's a good frame for him to explain what the struggle is going on in with his job with his kids
And frame it like where the the voiceover makes sense. Is there just some random like uh
Godlike voiceover just comes randomly, right?
and uh
That's the relatable part when he's like, uh, who's your dad?
Your dad's a guy who's worried that if this deal doesn't get through he's gonna have to fire two really good men
And then your brother won't be able to afford to go to this new school
But your daddy's real worried right now. Like it's like you the relatable and then like the funny
It's like oh, it's such a good movie and yet somehow it didn't do very well. I think it's not weird
They just didn't mean that make that i'll make the day i'll make the sequel
unfinished business, too
we'll have a we'll have a uh, uh a big picture of tom as a as a remembrance because he won't be in the movie
And then we'll have dave franco come back is mike pancake. I can do it. I'll write this movie tomorrow
I don't know like some movies just resonate with me and this one like
I just felt like it was real, you know, and for some reason some real movies don't do well
Yeah, that's true some horrendously shitty movies do
And then but like if more people saw unfinished business, I promise you it's not like a perfectly well-written masterpiece
But it's a good movie and you know how you know, it's a good movie
If you can watch it multiple times within one week
Yeah, like could you watch justice league twice and it didn't go back to back
fuck now
Mostly the uh, the joss weden one. No
No
As much as I love endgame avengers endgame, right? I wouldn't watch the two in a row. I'm like, oh that's a long one
Yeah, that'd be a very long long, but I watched freaking uh unfinished business three times last week
Yeah, because I even like with um, like constantine I can watch that a couple of times even and i'm good
You know, like it's not one of those kind of movies. It's like
I don't want to see exactly. There's no drag in the movie
Right that like pushes pulls it down then ruins like it's all perfectly level
uh field
I don't know how to explain it. It is all perfectly it all like there's no
Excess weight in this movie and movies sometimes have
Scenes that make no sense. Yeah, or like they make sense, but they're so dragged out. You're like god dang
I said a lot of people had an issue with that. Uh lord of the rings on amazon. They said it drug on too long
I don't blame them. Those movies are long and the show the show itself anyway, but the like
I'm borrows a thing going around saying what movie would you watch for a million dollars?
Non-stop for a week for a week. I'd rather not watch it
I'd rather watch it for a million dollars non-stop for a week for a week and right now be unfinished business just non-stop
I watch kick-ass
I actually watch it guys for a week straight
I don't know why like no like every every waking moment
I have what I gotta eat and shit. I know but aside from that
Oh, you're watching one movie over and over and over and you have to watch it. It depends really honestly
I chose the uh, the lord of the rings trilogy all three of them because they're so long, but
The third one and the new one comes back like you forgot all the exactly. I is it my son and it's not that boring
At least for me because it's got a bunch of lore and stuff like that where you can watch it
That's kind of how I feel the uh, the unfinished business is that you can watch it multiple times and pick up on things
You miss the first time exactly as new little little
Interesting tidbits you overlooked the last time my thing is they're not dumbing down the movie for you
No, they never did they they you know, I mean that's that's the great thing about unfinished business was like they never explained really
Their job
You just listen to them talk about their job
As people that knew their job
There was never a point a point where they were like they they stepped aside to tell a stranger like that would be the the
The surrogate of you like some random person like what's swarf? Oh swarf is all this and that I guess they did it once during like
They're the moment they were smoking pot
Mm-hmm, but they're like, uh, they didn't really they didn't do a huge explanation
Like I would just sell swarf just metal runoff and one of them is like it's boring. Yeah, it's boring as hell
Yeah, because there's a lot of movies that do that now like the new ones that are coming out
They explain every little detail about what's going on. I'd rather see it not hear it. Don't be mad, but
anime does that a lot
Depending on the anime. Yes, I know I know freaking which was like a god dang encyclopedia
The first few episodes. I'm like, okay a guy
The upside is that after that it didn't have all that
Fucking there was some filled to the brim on everything by the writer ran out of stuff to say
I guess that's everything kubo. Yeah
He had a lot of shit to say so I oh that's like uh with uh death note death note did that too
Yeah, I know if death that to a god-dating degree. I will never see again. Oh my god
He would explain like he explained how you got a trap set up where he hid his his notebook underneath his
freaking
show his uh
What was it the death note inside the drawer in the drawer? He's like, I got this is his whole plan this whole i'm like
Just what what what I was like what?
Like they went into my new detail in it and it was fine
But then when they did it on everything like that, it's like, oh, we're gonna we're gonna go to the restaurant eat this sandwich
We're gonna order it at 7 15 because it's 7 35 and they're like what you just gotta eat some food and do a huge explanation
Eat some food. That's something that's one thing that I don't like about some of those uh, sherlock holmes movies, too
I'll tell you sir. I love those movies. They're fine, but he does go into way too much detail
But that's that like too much. That's the end though. It's like the detail is to let you know. Well to be fair, uh
Uh, he goes into detail that you don't even notice throughout the movie
Yeah, i'm like wait, first of all you none of that shit I saw till the till you told me about it just now
Yeah
With the robert denny jr ones. Yes, they kind of cheat
Like they they didn't show me anything. I could have solved it myself with I was like you assholes
Never cheat with detective movies. Yeah, what the detective sees you also need to see what information he has you also need to have right?
That's what I was saying though. They did they know
Yeah
It's just like a small little nitpick, but that's something that uh, unfinished business doesn't do
They don't go in and explain every little thing to you. No such a beautiful which is nice
Then they have this scene where they're the dave franco slapping some japanese guy every time they take a shot
They gotta do a slap shot
And then they end up in that like little hamster ball
Yeah
And he and then he like uh, he's sleeping in it and then he wakes up and the japanese guy comes up from the bottom of the screen
And he's like, what are you doing here?
And the japanese is like, oh he points to his cheek right like you want me to slap you
It's kind of making me a control how much you want this
But he slaps the shit out of him
So I ended up uh ordering the dvd
I don't know how many special features are on the movie. So if we don't talk about it again, it's because there's nothing
There's nothing else to add but it doesn't come out to like the it doesn't I don't get till the 9th or 10th january
Oh really? So I gotta go I gotta go to uh
uh vintage stock tomorrow or the next day and pick up a dvd and fucking burn through that
And you know anything with a lot of features on i'll check out. Yeah, but yeah, we'll do some heavy dives
I'm gonna know everything about that dvd
Just like the first episode of south park
If you guys go back that shit was heavily detailed
Hey, but you know what though whenever you go into that you actually understand
What they were thinking and how they got that idea for that movie. Yeah
Which is I guess what i've been missing is just like knowing it from the ground up
Right instead of just like watching a movie on streaming and then just you're done the top down view. Yeah
Yeah, we're doing that the finished product basically. Yeah. Yeah
So that is it for the main segment we just talked about unfinished business in the most haphazard way so that's how we do it
Uh, if you enjoy it go watch it. It's an awesome movie
And I hope you if you don't enjoy male genitalia don't
Dick everywhere
All right, what we got for urban dictionary today, oh no problem this time I found out that
urban dictionary
That you have a
Oh, by the way, they do get they do get the handshake at the end of the movie
I'll do it. Yeah
Um, let's see here urban dictionary
I lost it. Here it is. They have a bookmark feature
So I gotta do is type the bookmark and you can keep the uh, definition. I've been writing these longhand
I don't know why it's my nature to write longhand
So i'm pulling out uh, 10 definitions at a time from now on
Go to my bookmark bookmark find out which one was the last one and then go from there
So we start with uh, this one was by
Noto bright, uh september 20 20 2005
Uh moan moon moon
Um, it's a long one how everything is spelled according to tom cullen from the book the strand by stephen king
And then here's a huge bunch of uh, examples
Of examples everybody everybody's always talking about what a dual city. This is since the roller rink went a bit of wind bust
And there's just a drive-in theater out on route 61
And all they show is them diddly-dally pictures and they're all rated x mo and mo on that spells x
Uh, all right. I'm ready laws. Yes mo on that spells ready
So he just it's just a random character trait. Yeah
Uh decorations is my hobby mo mo mo on that spells hobby
Uh, julie lawry your name's tom, right? Uh, tom cullen tom cullen mo on that spells tom cullen
Uh, ralph bretner name's ralph bretner tom cullen i'm tom cullen mo on that spells tom cullen
I don't know his name because I can't read it sure wish I did though laws. Yes
They're really out of context story
Uh book excerpts by the way, I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. I have no idea either
Uh nick has ralph a hastily scribbled a note of ralph bretter. Your friend's name here is nick andro's mo on
I guess that spells nick
Uh, woohoo mo on that spells nebraska
I got it. Mr. I got it. You're just like old uh, albion packalots iron man tom cullen knows what uh, what that is
Mo on that spells deaf and dumb
All right, so now we move on to uh something by uh creedmore october 12 2004 finger test
Okay, I know it tells you to determine the smell of a vagina exactly what you thought it was
Something like that, you get a little on your finger, uh, give your partner a hug and then you're when they're not looking
You smell your finger to see if you want to want it in your mouth
All right, see if you want to put it in your mouth
Wait to see if you want to put your mouth there. Okay, okay, that makes more
Yeah, that's a good trick, but
a very good trick
to shower
Ladies, generally. Yes. All you need to don't worry. All you need is soap and water
And tell believe me you don't need anything any special chemicals or anything. Yes, you do
You do not just something water. No, you need you need to put some you don't you do soap and water
We are going to agree to disagree on this one
And through uh, las vegas hour by
Dictionary and 117 on december 27 2020 the hour in which anything can happen and will be forgotten and unmentioned as the next hour begins
So you can do horrendous stuff apparently on las vegas hour
Is that what's called ginger farmer oh god an individual who only plowed redheads
At least he had her plows like a farming thing
Um
This was by nom nom d october 8 2011 that was ginger farmer next is nicky n i k i
Never see the nicky spelt with just one k
Yeah
Uh, this was by written by excelsior december 7 2011 excelsior. Uh, by the way, uh, this is uh, uh,
They hate this person by the way
Someone got on here and they just wrote the meanest shit about this person whether it's true or not
It is always gonna live on on other position area. Yes
Because they they even give the name of the blanks
You're getting to kind of narrow it down
So I apologize, but this is what's written on here. This is not my words. These are yeah, i'm just right. These are from nicky
I will never try to offend anyone on purpose. I just read what's funny to me
i'm sorry
Nicky a big fat bull dyke that steals from their friends
Is neglects her illegitimate children likes to do hot cocoa sex with scabies
Uh written
What the fuck is hot cocoa? I don't know man. I'm just reading what I
Hot cocoa sex with scabies written drug addicts for meth
Lives in shipville longview washington. There you go. There's that now right there
And will ultimately die and be forgotten there
Hiteously ugly. She's single-handedly inspired into exist. She's single-handedly inspired into existence the word
cunt to a bitch
Kill this bitch kill this nasty ogreish cunt on site if you ever unfortunate enough to lay eyes on her
I don't know what this woman did
to this other person
But they do not like nicky
He's an ogre
We don't know that she gives me a regular person
Maybe it's a guy that broke up with it or that she broke up with and he's like, well, that's how dare she
I don't know
Hey, you never know sometimes there's there's always that kernel of truth
Maybe I doubt it though. I think he's just doing someone's mad at nicky
Nicky this one is moved by a uh, uh, footbucker made 13.20
uh wellington bouncer
The one that amounts with very specific and tedious sexual act
Very specific and tedious is what got me
When done correctly can achieve great results the willington bouncer recruited two guys
One short lightweight and the other unknown tall and strong enough to care care to people. I didn't read that part
And one very flexible chick
So now we have one tall guy that's strong
One short guy that's lightweight and one flexible woman
The strong guy is basically carrying the little guy by his legs while the
Little
This one guy is basically carrying the little guy by his legs while the little guy is sitting upright
Wait, so he's holding him up straight up
Disclaimer little guy's ass is going to be propped up on this wrong guy's stomach. Yep straight up
Then the girl is going to be held by partially by the little guy's arms while he's piping
It
Everything was so elegant that he just said piping it
Meanwhile, she stretched into a c position where she can suck the bigger guy off while at the same time holding on to his legs
for support
That is fucking comp. Oh, I see now
So he's hitting it
While he's holding him up and she's bending all the way over in between the guys little god damn. That is a complicated position
So, yeah, hey if I do that, you're fucking strong how strong are you michael when I do this i'm sure enough
We just need the flexible
Next up is gung fu dung fu gung fu
Uh gung fu is a style of sophisticated close quarters gunplay seen in hong kong action cinema and western films influenced by it
It often resembles a martial arts battle playing out with the firearms instead of traditional weapons. It's a jackie chan
He doesn't use weapons
There's guns against him
Rarely there's always like for somebody he always somehow magically knocks a gun away
Yeah for the frying pan. Yeah ladder and it's like it's just a straight fight for like 15 episodes. We use the ladder
Did you ever hear that story about him in that ladder though?
But where he said that he jumped through the ladder and smashed it on top of him where he got both of his hands
at the same time he
The focus of gung fu style and the usage of firearms in ways that were
That they were not designed to be used shooting a gun from each hand shooting from behind the back as well as the use
Of guns as melee weapons are all common
Other movies can involve shotguns uzis rocket launchers or just about anything that can be worked into a cinematic shot
It's often mixed with hand-to-hand combat maneuvers. She seems dangerous by the way
Doing like those kung fu moves and you end up shooting your hand or leg by accident
That's why they use prox guns like I like I didn't like it from movie wise, right?
Yeah, but people are people they'd be like i'm gonna do some kung fu
And then they're blowing his brains out
on his own
Or shoot through his own arm exactly a gun flow has become a stable factor in modern action film due to his visually appealing nature
Regardless of his actual practicality in real life combat situation. Thank you
This is a contrast to american action movies of the 1980s which focused more on heavily weaponry and outright brute force and fire on base combat
We call that an arnold arnold swarson agar
That man was just brute force
If it goes in the detail of the history of it not now because i'm busy
Before 1986 hong kong sim was firmly noted rooted in two genres
The martial arts film and the comedy or for jackie chan the martial arts comedy
That's why he was so famous
Gunplay was not terribly popular because i just considered it boring compared to fancy kung fu moves or graceful swordplay of the wushu epics
What movie corps needed was a new way to represent gunplay
To show it as a skill that could be honed into integrating the ecro-ex and grace to traditional martial arts
That's exactly what john wu did
Using all the visual techniques available to him tracking shots dollies dolly ins and slo-mo will create a beautifully
Should
Why can i say this word i know what it is
Surrealistic it's kind of weird that way like surreal surrealistic
Action, that's why my brain just froze
That were a guilty pleasure to watch there's also intimacy found in the gunplay typically his protagonist and antagonist
Will have a profound understanding of one another and will meet face to face an intense mexican standoff
Where they each point their weapons at one another and trade words that is not a mexican stand makes it with three people yes
Whatever they got that wrong
Uh the point because if it's just two people that's just a standoff. Yeah mexican standoff is three populated by popular
Uh popularized by uh, the good bad the good the bad and the ugly
They had a mexican standoff at the end of the movie
The popularity of john wu's films and the heroic bloodshed by the way, none of them were hispanic. They're all italian
Thanks a lot all the movies were those movies were real in italy
I still love them. I'm hispanic. I'm not devastated that it's an italian guy
The popularity of john wu's films and the heroic bloodshed genre in general in the west helped give the gung fu style greater visibility
Filmmakers like robert rodriguez were inspired to create action sequences involved on the hong kong style
One of the first to demonstrate this was rodriguez is desperate in 1995
The matrix was played a played a part in making gung fu the most popular form of firearm based combat in cinema worldwide
Since then the style has become a staple of modern western action films. Yeah
Written by miss castanet jack 2 september 1st 2010
a very heartfelt intro in the urban dictionary
next up senator ass
They're firm for treating buttocks belonging to a very fit person resembling the mythical half man half horse usually used as a compliment
Next up big smikes a big smokes order
You ready for it? Big smoke is a character from gta san andreas in the mission title drive-through
The crew goes to the clucking bell a fast food restaurant
The crew orders a decently sized meal only for big smoke to order something consisting of over 7 000 calories
Yeah, good lord. I'll have the i'll have two number nines a number nine large
a number six with extra dip a number seven
Two number nine large
A number six with extra dip a number seven
Two number forty five one with cheese
And a large soda
I can't do his voice, but I hope i'm adequate enough
Last up is a beard fish
beard fish
A man who has gone in abundance of facial hair in order to make himself appear more attractive usually on instagram upon shaving
He looks like a dolphin's butthole
I'm sorry a blowhole, but I decided I knew but
Basically me because I have a beard I don't shave it because i'm too fat
That's the only reason instead of a dolphin it's a beluga's bottle
But that is it for urban dictionary, I hope you enjoyed it i'll have 10 more next week
Those are some some some that actually is interesting but then some of us like what the fuck
And so the segue from serious intellectual
cinematic history into a senator's aunt
Or senators, whatever it said the word was
That's bad
All right
All right moving on into our breakdown today our anime breakdown
Uh, no way asked me to do this one. So i'm doing this one hentai the devil is a part-timer. Oh
Not hentai, i'm not
Not hentai i'm not doing that one for you. We got really close to one that we never error just throw
And I let that one go
Uh, all right. So the devil is a part-timer. Um, there are I believe 12 episodes in the first season which not crazy at least
Uh, let's see now 13 13 episodes
Yeah, 13 episodes, all right, they have to throw you off by adding that oh that one extra
That's always good. I always like the number 13
Uh, all right, so we have episode one, uh, the title is the devil arrives and sasazuka
He already names it yeah, like i'm already over my head
All right, so
In episode one in another dimension where magic exists the dark lord satan wages a campaign with his four generals
uh adramelic lucifer alcyl and malakota to conquer the continent of entei isla
This is like an actual like country. It's a totally different world and it's their country like they don't know it's like a whole actual world
They got like wi-fi and like facebook and stuff. No, this is like a a fantasy world at this point
And annex the human population under his realm of darkness
However, a brave hero appears and leaves the human armies against the dark forces pushing them back into their stronghold
Here satan faces off against the hero
But would neither able to decisively defeat the other and his armory armies crumbling the dark lord retreats and along with alcyl
opens a dimensional portal and leaves their world
Vowing to return and conquer entei isla one day the portal exits in modern day sasazuka japan
Sasa suka. Oh, by the way, have you heard of the earthquake in japan? Huh? Yeah, the 7.5 magnitude
Oh shit, I hope they're okay
On the western side of japan
That rarely gets them that that heavy
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was watching on cnn. Just watching like the whole house just like oh man
But a lot of their buildings are designed to actually withstand
Earthworks something that we just don't have not like you're in most unless you're in san francisco
I do like there's a lot of buildings like old buildings that are in japan that are built with solid wood
But they don't use nails or anything, but they can shift slightly and it doesn't hurt them though. Cool kind of cool
All right, uh the portal exits into modern day sasazuka japan and in addition to being shocked by their new human forms
Satan and alcyl are taken to the nearest police station where satan learns about a bit about the new world
Which like it has no magic in it
They're basically in our world. It's boring
No magic boring. Believe me. I know
As events progress satan and alcyl get new identities
uh sadow mal
just sadow mal
Is that the version of general sal?
general saz chicken
Sadow mal and chicken rice
and uh shiro ishiya
Is uh alcyl at this point respectively
Secure a residence open a bank account and go job hunting
This old lady is trying to counter like trying to get her coins to exchange for money or for bills, right? Yeah
He's like damn i gotta get to work
And while agreeing that sadow which is satan
Would work while shiro which is alcyl takes care of the domestic needs
Quite the the platonic
So sometime later on his way to his part-time part-time job at mcronald
I wonder what company they're making
He goes to go work at a mcronald franchise. By the way, you know, there's a game coming out called infestation 88
Willi
You know what the it's a it's a monster that's infesting this location. You know what the monster is. It's mickey mouse
The original mickey mouse the original cartoon the black and white the one from uh steamboat willy
Yeah, it's that mickey mouse because it's now domain three
That's funny they wasted no time
Yeah, everybody's gonna start using that now though, and I think you can actually use the name mickey mouse
You just can't use the current version right mickey mouse. You could make some weird shit with the old steamboat
We'll make it make him out like this fucking stupid
What the fuck? Oh
We're gonna show him we're gonna all do something
He can't he has to ha ha ha ha
All right
So sadow encounters a beautiful scarlet haired girl at a crosswalk and offers her his umbrella to shield her from the rain
Well at mcgronald so down not only experience
You make them ronald's
Every time they just barely took ronald mcdonald's name
The mech on friday mcgronald's yes, you see how they got their name and it's not mick. It's mc
mg
Make it
Damn, they were hardcore
So now not only experiences a seemingly random mild earthquake but faces a dilemma on whether to use his remaining magic to repair the broken friars
Hey, man, you gotta work. I got no choice
Eventually not getting the chance to
Nonetheless while impressing his fellow co-worker chiho sasaki
With his uh people skills as well as his as the higher ups through his dedication so now is able to secure a permanent position
Because he was part nine of his flight. He's full time. He's coming out of the world
The king the king of hell assistant manager and mcgronald's
As he excitedly pedals his bike home to tell shiro
He is once again confronted by the scarlet haired girl who is revealed to be the hero from his dimension
Uh emilia justina
Was the hero a female in the other world? Yeah. Okay. I mean you don't get that in the first episode
Um, yeah, yeah, uh, metris prime can go in. Yeah
Yeah, like you're not supposed to know that because it's supposed to throw you off at the end of this episode that she's the hero
Okay, because he knows it like when he sees her and figures inputs two and two together
He didn't think she'd follow him because he looks like a 16 year old now
so
Yeah, japan does love their young protagonist. He goes from being this gigantically buffed
16 year old having to get a job at mcgronald
So we go into episode two
The title is the hero stays at the devil's castle for work reasons
Huh?
So in the wake of satan and now seo's departure from into isla
Emilia and her comrades give chase back in present-day japan sadal tries to reason with emilia now under the identity of emmy usa
Although she ignores and tries to attack him
Afterwards they are both arrested and bring brought to a police station for questioning where the officer is in charge
Mistakes them for having a quarrel a couple's quarrel
Because they're getting ready to fight each other, but they look like kids though
Much to emmy's protest on their way home emmy threatens sadal although he just shrugs
Following day while feeling angry that she isn't living a better lifestyle
Than sadal emmy pays him a visit shiro in shock locks her out
But lets her in after sadal casually explains her circumstances because she's running out of magic the same way they are
She homeless or what?
No, she's got a job too.
She has to work as well
She
Let's see
After commenting on sadal's lifestyle because it lives like bums in an apartment
But you put no furniture or anything. Jesus christ
She explains that along with art bishop oba mia
Uh, we're going to follow them through the portal before it disappeared. She ended up being the only one transported over the next few days
And he began stalking sadal and shiro around town and learns that they are living good humble lives
This prompts her how good life in the god damn furniture in the house
This prompts her to ask him after work if he has considered staying in the human world
To which he boldly states he will return one day to conquer inteisla
Once he has the money saving of money. Yeah
Just then they both come under a magical attack from a sniper and hurriedly escape
Sadal realized they may have a common enemy and blames emmy before leaving for the night
Emmy however shows up again at his apartment much to his suspicion and awkwardly asks if she could stay the night since she
Lose a distance away and lost her wallet while they were escaping earlier
So she dropped her wallet
Uh, so now casually uh casually gives her sanctuary again to shiro shock
Well, emmy tearfully ponders to herself how she got herself into the situation
That night sadal receives a mysterious text from chiho warning that more earthquakes are on the way while asking for his advice
So if you ever since he's been here there's been more and more earthquakes in japan interesting
I think so they're trying to break through from the other side or I think you'll see
Uh episode three is called the devil goes on a date with his junior
Uh in shinjuku in jr. Chiho
What is that that girl chiho? Okay
The following morning the national news broadcast a report a report mentioning the attack got tv
Got no furniture. They got tv
Yeah, mentioning the attack that emmy and sadal were involved in with chiho excitedly, uh prepares for her date with sadal
Meanwhile emmy receives an anonymous call at work from the same enemy who shot at them
Who explains that killing both her and satan would be an entei isla's best interests
So somebody from their world was sniping at him and he came he came out like stack. He's got a sniper rifle
He's they came out
Hit
Later the police tracked down uh sadal from his bike left at the scene
And emmy is forced to vouch for his identity while afterwards warning him about their common enemy later
Sadal meets chiho for their date which unbeknownst to them are followed by a cautious shiro and suspicious emmy
So you have alcyl his uh underling following him and the hero are watching them as they go on their date
Who's the chick he's going on a girl that he works for the mc ronald's. Okay. I thought it was the girl the hero girl
No, no, that's uh, emmy this girl's name is chiho. Okay. Okay. It was some big tips
standard practice
always
what you
I'm out of it. I shouldn't say you want to i'll give you guys uh, you guys want to see uh
Like okay, so the the joke is that asians always have their characters have massive tits, right? Yes
There was a porn star back in the day in japan a jav they call him
Uh by the name of hatomi tanaka
There you go. Look around i promise you you are not prepared
I'll show michael
You guys you can keep talking. All right, so
I unbeknownst to them
They're followed by a cautious shiro and a suspicious emmy the latter who dragged shiro into a cafe to eavesdrop on sadal
During the date chiho explains to sadal that she has been hearing a strange language recently the language of inteisla and none to her
She further explains that the speakers were trying to contact someone and made references to a large earthquake soon to occur
Sadal realizes that the phenomena was a magical communication system called idealink
And that the earthquakes were most likely caused by a sonar spell trying to detect him and emmy
Oh, I can tell they're real because they're different sizes. Yeah, real artificial ones wouldn't be shaped. They'd be the exact same
Good god
So there you go
Apparently somebody manifested her in real life
From all these anime. Yes, that is because she is exaggeratedly
really massive
Moving on somebody's wishes came true apparently
At that time a shocked sadal notices emmy walk into the cafe and before he
Chiho can confess to him. She is interrupted by emmy
Chiho misunderstands emmy's reasoning for her interruption and they get into a loud argument
Just as a large earthquake suddenly strikes when chiho briefly awakens surrounded by devastation
She reconciles with emmy who again warns her about sadal before knocking her out with a sleep spell god day
Oh a sleep spell. Yeah, that just sucked. Yeah, I would yeah
I would if I if I have a limited amount of magic i would have knocked her out
A sleep spell emmy then calls out to satan who appears to have what I call my hands the sleep spell
Who appears from some debris in his demonic form? So he's gotten his form back at this point
Hmm, emmy ponders killing him right there with her remaining magic, but satan shocks her by stating
He will get them out of the collapsed mall leaving emmy to wonder why he would help them
Because he's you know, if he now has human emotions, I guess
No, he's still the one he didn't want to kill his co-worker. Oh
Chiho so it's hard to find I guess it's hard to find good employees. Exactly
Episode four is called the hero experiences human warmth
So satan continues to use his magic to clear the debris while keeping everyone at the mall out of harm's way
While outside the destroyed mall emmy has a flashback showing her carefree days with her father and into isla
When she was younger until she was summoned by the church to begin training with the magical sword to slay demons
Soon after her father was killed by satan's forces when their village was attacked leaving her with the resolve to kill him
Back in present day sadal learns that it informs emmy that chiho received magical powers
Chiho received magical feedback from the spell he cast on her father
inspector sasaki
When he first arrived in japan
Sadal further explains to her that the earthquake was a deliberate attack on their lives before they both leave
Afterwards emmy spends the night at her co-worker rika suzuki's place
Where rika explains to her how human nature can change in the face of adversity by referencing the kobe earthquake she experienced as a child
So explaining to emmy that disasters can make people change basically
Yeah
The next day emmy visits sadal and falls down his apartment building stairs
God day
Clumsy aren't we?
She is
She's fucking clumsy as fuck
Sadal tries to treat emmy's injuries but her but his uncharacteristic kindness upsets her and she reveals her reason for wanting him dead
Sadal laments his inability to understand people's feelings until they are interrupted by shiro and chiho
So his underling known as co-worker shiro and shiro and chiho
The c-h-i-h-o
The other chiho and then uh shiro
Too close
It is shiro and chiho
It's like chatted chuck
Chiho
misunderstands emmy and sadal being a
Being a couple and runs away with a broken heart
Oh damn
The famous misunderstanding from all romantic movies
Just then sadal's landlady
Miki shiba
Comes in and advises
And advises they chase after chiho while referencing her connection to the sonar and ideal link spells
While tearfully making her way through the street chiho encounters a strange person who manifests black wings in front of the passerby
As sadal emmy and shiro approach from afar an explosion occurs and the winged person takes to the air
As sadal and company climb the n- uh climb the rubble sadal acknowledges the person as the general the demon general lucifer
Hmm, so lucifer has come down now from this other world
Who else would it be?
The one with the highest ranking name
And all of uh demon lore
True but
Sadal who is satan is
Ahead of him
Yeah, but i'm thinking like who the villain would be
Which would be lucifer lucifer
And sadal satan
Sadal mal
Mal
Episode five is called the devil and the hero save sasazuka
So uh emmy asks lucifer how he survived their perilous
Uh previous battle on inte isla
But sadal deduces that he was aided by her former comrade olba
Who has promised to return lucifer to heaven in exchange for his help
While olba reveals himself to emmy's shock
Lucifer proceeds to attack sadal and company with shiro taking a hit
After the group flee sadal explains to emmy that lucifer draws his magic from night and negative emotions
And hence was responsible for the string of muggings in sasazuka
So he's been mucking people
He's just been robbing people
So even he has to get some kind of job
Yeah
Jesus christ
The negative emotions give it magical energy basically
So you found a loo paul
Yeah
As they get cornered sadal teleports himself and emmy to the crowded sasazuka station
Here the dumbstruck crowd looks on as lucifer seemingly kills sadal with a magical bullet
And then destroys the overhead transport bridge
The debris head to crush emmy and shiro but satan emerges in his demonic form
And using the negative emotions of the onlookers to fuel his magic saves emmy and shiro
So negative emotions give him his original form back as well
So like lucifer he can use the same ability
Cool
He finally figured that one out
After satan sets up a magical barrier knocking all of the civilians unconscious
While emilia calls forth her magic and engages lucifer in aerial combat
Alcyl then shows up healed in his demonic form and joins the battle
Shiro looks on at the incredible scene at which point satan finishes olba and then lucifer with a multi layered magical punch
Where it's like these magical circles start appearing and it's like one and two and three and it just goes all the fucking way back to the edge of the city
Damn
Just all these magical circles
In the aftermath sadal and company officially introduce themselves to shiro so now she knows
Just then emmy's comrades from inteisla emmeralda and albertio albertio
Albertio
I guess I'm yeah
Albuerto
Albertio
I guess it is hispanic sounding
They arrive through a portal reunite with emmy and explain the corrupt state of the church back on inteisla
Afterwards at sadal's apartment albertio explains his use of the sonar and idealling spells which were intercepted by shiro
Meanwhile satan uses his romanian magic to restore the city along with erasing the civilians minds
Later at mcronald sadal explains to
Can't get over that
mcronald
Sadal explains to chico that he has enough left to erase her mind causing her to yell at him
Saying that why would she want him why would she want sadal to erase her memory you know instead of
I'm all out of like
Like the romantic music starts playing
Yes
Episode six is the devil climbs the stairway to school
I get that gd
At the church's headquarters on inteisla a report is made by a girl stating that the archbishop oba's previous report
That he killed the dark lord emilia amarylva and albertia were false and they discussed the consequences of letting the truth lead to the rest of the church
That they were that they do remain alive
Meanwhile back in japan lucifer now wanted by the police in connection with recent muggings
Fuck
Moves in with sadal and shiro under the name hanzo
There's a bad guy
Yeah, but he got fucked up by sadal and since it's one of sadal's underlings anyway in the other world
I just smack him in the face where his like face is still like bruised
Like swollen
Why do you try to kill him then
That's why he didn't kill him
No, no, why didn't he like why didn't lucifer
Oh because that priest oba said that he could get him back to heaven
Oh she lied to him
Yeah, he lied to him
Yeah
The the other priest
The priest was but trying to kill both satan and the hero
Okay, okay
So now you have lucifer he's like he looks like a little kid
Like 12 13
God damn
Super skinny
And so he's going by the name of hanzo now instead of lucifer
While becoming proficient using the internet
Through the internet hanzo learns of a rumor that a paranormal activity in the form of a portal activations to enta isla occur in an abandoned classroom at a local high school which turns out to be chiho's school
That's storytelling for you
Yeah
It had to be chiho you know what I mean
Yeah
Sadal and shiro decide to investigate in the hopes of harvesting magical power from the portal
That night along with chiho the group goes into the school but are followed by emmy who claims she has to keep an eye on sadal
Despite she being able to return to enta isla at any time
She can leave whenever she wants
Why are you struggling there for them
Oh no
All those sadal and company try and fail to abandon emmy
Eat with rod noodles and minimum wage
Go home
The ramen noodles will never be a stable forever
As long as there's a dollar store they'll be ramen noodles
It's always going to be top ramen or it's going to be
They make so much of business
You know they have to have a low overhead too
Right they just dump that in and it's done
Done
Pull it on packets and there you go
We're good
Here's the salt that'll kill you before
But it tastes so good
God it's crazy how much ramen noodles is just like a staple of like lower income living
Yeah
But man if you know how to cook ramen noodles you'll be good to go
You can spice it up
Exactly
Make that shit delicious
Don't be ashamed to be you know lower income
Always do better
You can live well you know on a low income
Yeah it's not that bad
You don't need like you don't need a huge TV or internet service or streaming services
No
You can save up that money
Save that money up eat some ramen
Be a little dicky and say save that money
All right so as they're trying to
Trying and failing to abandon Emmy
Which results in her accidentally destroying a science model
Eventually the group reaches the abandoned the group reaches the abandoned classroom
It turns out that it had been the base of operations for both Hanzo and Oba
Prior to their respective betrayals and alliance
So the reason that people thought there was a portal there was because Lucifer was living there
Oh Jesus
Where he was like a one of those meats where he's got food all around him and computers and shit
Just half eating shit and everything in there
Bags of chips just opened like a slob
Wait if he knew that was his spot why'd he go with him?
He didn't he sent them
Why did wait why?
Hanzo then asks that Sadal to retrieve his PS Vita game
Jesus Christ
While they were there which has been left by accident
So he told him that this place was haunted and that it had all these issues
So that way they could go get his PS Vita
Did you get it though?
They must have been living
This angers the group although Hanzo claims that he merely neglected to tell them that he had lived there
Later while the group is outside the same girl who had made the report to the church of Enta Isla
Is seen through the classroom window indicating she had opened a portal
Later a new tenant moves into Sadal's apartment building and Sadal catches her as she falls down the stairs and passes out
So another girl that falls
They should have fallen down stairs
Kind of yes
Why they struggle at McRoll
You can always tell about a writer when it's the same trope over and over
Yes
Episode 7 is called The Devil's Budget is Saved by Neighborliness
Suzuno Kamazuki who had fallen down the apartment stairs comes to introduce herself to Sadal, Shiro and Hanzo the next morning
And gives him a box of udon noodles as a friendly gesture
They must have been fucking living it up like noodles dude
Elsewhere, Emi receives a box containing bottles of a sacred power boosting drink from Emerald in the other world
As she continues to stalk Sadal's apartment Emi spots Suzuno helping Hanzo with chores and goes to covertly investigate
Although she is caught up when Suzuno, ecstasy apartment and Emi falls down the stairs while waiting for ice
She fell right up to her
They're like the hero side of fucking clubbing as shit
Back in Sadal's apartment Suzuno introduces herself to Emi and thinks that she and Sadal are in some kind of relationship
Because of their unreserved manner when speaking to each other which she denies
Emi then speaks with Suzuno outside and seemingly misunderstands that Suzuno might like Sadal
Prompting her to warn Suzuno not to get too close to Sadal
Like she thinks that all these girls are falling for
You got Chihou, you got Suzuno, you got...
Man, just cause I'm trying to make some rent money
You ain't got time for love
Exactly
Although Suzuno already knows who Emi is being from into Eastlake herself unbeknownst to Emi
Although Sadal leaves for work where he is made shift supervisor
Suzuno gives him a handmade boxed lunch while Emi stays outside outside of McRonald
Emerald calls out to ask the results of the magic drink and relays that there is a piece on into Eastlake for now while rumors are being spread
Emerald further adds that the church is currently looking for a missing Olba
They can't find that priest that had attacked them in the couple of previous episodes before
Warning that people may be looking for her as well
As Sadal takes a break at McRonald, Chihou gets jealous of the packed lunch given to him by Suzuno
Meanwhile, while buying food at a convenience store, Emilia is attacked by a masked man wielding a large scythe and using magic which nullifies her magic sword in a counter attack
In the aftermath, while wondering who the masked man was, Emi receives a call from Chihou venting her jealousy over Sadal's boxed lunch
She's jealous that the other girl gave him the lunch or she just said he has food
You're supposed to be broke, you're not supposed to have food
Episode 8 is called The Hero Enters the Fray
So Chihou and Emi visit Sadal's apartment and are surprised to find Suzuno helping Sadal in company with her domestic chores
Much to Chihou's shock, later as Sadal walks Chihou home, she confesses her feelings for him while depreciating the fact that he is a demon since she already fell in love with him
Just then, Suzuno overhears Chihou's confession causing Chihou to run away with embarrassment
Suzuno follows up by asking Sadal about his own response to being loved by people and is visibly surprised by his sincere response
Afterwards, Suzuno meets Emi at the Sazuzuka station and they both inadvertently reveal their misunderstood intentions towards Sadal over the events the past few days
The famous romantic trope, the final airing of grievances, misunderstandings
He's like, look, he's just a friend and all that
Whoever wrote this took the relatable aspects of typical slice of life movies and tweaked them to fit into a supernatural story
Afterwards, Suzuno introduces herself as a resident of Inte Isla, Crestia Bell, and informs Emi that she was sent under orders by the Church of Inte Isla to investigate any leads on the missing ulba
Suzuno further asks that Emi return to Inte Isla to confront the Church about the cover-up regarding the actions of her superior put the lives of everyone in the underground mall in danger just to kill her and Sadal
Underground mall? So like fun?
Yeah, like where it's under completely
I wanna see, I wanna go to the underground mall
Dallas has stuff like that
I wanna be a dwarf
You live in the underworld
Sorry, not the underground world
And retake Moria
Before she leaves, Emi advises Suzuno to be leery of Sadal and company, finding out her true agenda
Meanwhile, a new fast food restaurant, Centucky Fried Chicken
Jesus
Centucky
Centucky Fried Chicken
Boldly opens up across the street from McRonald and its manager
That shouldn't be too bad, I mean they make burgers, they make chicken, suddenly competition
And its manager, Mitsuki Saru, pops into McRonald to apparently check out the competition, although Sadal counters by having Shiro do spying of his own
Finally, Suzuno waits for Emi after work and expresses her desire to visit Sadal's workplace at McRonald, while Rika misunderstands the interaction between Suzuno and Emi as a lover squirrel over Sadal
Much to Emi's irritation
More goddamn misunderstandings
Cause it's that friend that Emi spent the night with that one day
That girl, she's like, aww lover squirrel
Jesus Christ
Episode 9 is called The Hero Experiences a Fray
A fray
Rika, Emi, and Suzuno make their way over to Haragaya to discover the Tanabata Festival, so in full gear
Rika, still fully enthusiastic over her perceived lover squirrel between Emi and Suzuno
Suggests that she first learn all of the details of the conflict by stopping for a bit inside the newly opened sentaki fried chicken
He's like, God, let's go to Sentalife, let's celebrate his sentaki fried chicken
Here, as Emi frantically tries to reject Rika's notion of her and Sadal being a couple
She starts verbally insulting Sadal, but is stopped by an irritated Shiro who has been nearby doing reconnaissance at Sentaki for Sadal
So he's got Alceale, the person that goes by Shiro now, over at Sentaki Fried Chicken doing research
Research or trying to check the competition
He's just over there shoving shit into his face
She won't agree
Cause he gave her some money, he's like, you could use this
He's like, money
Oh yeah, he doesn't have a job, does he?
No, he doesn't
After brief introductions and a bit of chatting, Ashiya is able to clear up Rika's misunderstanding before Emi and Sadal
By using a metaphor to describe the history between them
Meanwhile, as McRonnell's business begins losing to Sentaki for the festival
How can they lose to Sentaki?
Cause it's new
It's chicken and their burgers, aren't they?
Yes
It should only, like, when it's new, right, it gets over saturated again
Yes
But then it evens out
Well, this is only a few days in, so
So they don't have to worry, they just had a weathered storm
Sadal struggles to decide what to do, but eventually decides to have his employees keep themselves busy until an opportune moment for business shows itself
Later, Shiro, Emi, Suzuno, and Rika visit McRonnell with Rika having a less unfavorable first impression of Sadal, much to his irritation
Afterwards, Sadal tries and fails in various schemes to market McRan-
Fuck, fuck, fuck
You got fucking sane trying to put up posters
Yes
You're trying to be thing to get business
I'm not gonna get this business fucking running
To market McRonnell to the festival's patrons
But they comes with a flu
But they comes up with an ingenious idea of having the franchise be part of the festival itself
Sadal then calls up a friend to deliver some bamboo plants for display in front of the franchise and has his staff decorate it
Finally revealing that they will allow the festival's patron to hang wishes on the plants and offer a free drink to whosoever does so
Fucking jeez
A plan which successfully gets McRonnell to flood with customers
While this is happening, Suzuno notices a strange purple aura hanging over the crowd in front of McRonnell adding to her suspicion of Sadal
She's like, what the fuck is that aura?
He's changing his complete negative to positive
Episode 10 is called The Devil and the Hero Take a Break from the Daily Routine
Jeez
They both work daily jobs
Everyone works day off
She works in a call center, he works
He's a McRonnell
Fucking McRonnell trying to
Chief customer support
He's trying to drum up business to sell burgers
Following the success of the previous day's business, Mayumi informs Sadal that she has selected him based on a request by the McRonnell branch at the Fushima Park to assist them with business during the fair
That night, Hanzo, Lucifer, informs Sadal that they might be able to harvest magic off of people's fear by investigating the advertised haunted house at the fair
While Suzuno eavesdrops on their conversation, which she relates to Emi as a precaution
Later, Chihou invites Emi to the fair, who also brings along Suzuno after being suspicious of Sadal and company's intentions
While Sadal continues being busy with his work at the park's McRonnell and impressing its manager there
He's trying so hard
He's got outsource for other McRonnells?
Jeez
So fix their McRonnell
Yeah, drum up their business
It's so sad
Chihou tries and fails to get Sadal's attention
Afterwards, the girls decide to check out the rest of the festival, visiting the haunted house, which proves to be too much for them
Followed by the reptile exhibit where both Emi and Chihou reveal their fear of reptiles
Although Suzuno remarks on having eaten them before as a delicacy in the southern part of Intiisla
Before she is stopped by Emi
She's not reaching there just to eat one of them
Jeez
Raw?
Yes
How dare you
While exploring the exhibit, Emi bumps into a maintenance worker causing him to drop his keys
These keys are subsequently picked up by an escaped circus monkey, humorously called Sadal
Much to Sadal's irritation
So the monkeys got the same name
Yeah, because they fuck up all the shit
Before being found, it uh, before being found it revealed that the monkey had unlocked the crocodile exhibit
Little fucker just went over there and unlocked it
This allows the beast to escape and sneak into the water park
As the crowd erupts into panic, Emi, Chihou, and a stunned Suzuno watches as Satan absorbs the fear and chance of spell to call him the beast
Thus saving the fair and leaving Suzuno to echo Emi's previous thoughts of why he would save the humans
Afterwards, as the girls head home, Suzuno feels the presence of a white-winged being watching her
Which disappears as soon as she turns around to look
White as you now?
Mm-hmm
You have Lucifer, which is the black-winged, now you have a white-winged one
So we have episode 11, the hero stays true to her convictions, is the title of it
So Chihou continues to suffer from his illness, while Miki sends boxes of merchandise she imported from Hawaii for a sit-down company to sell at a bazaar in the shopping district
So their landlord found stuff and sent it back to them to sell
And Chihou's sick
His second in command is sick at the moment, so
He's bedridden
He's malnourished
Oh, like he's got some kind of cold and he can't get over it now
Jesus Christ, and a dine of pneumonia
Meanwhile, Suzuno has a flashback which shows her job as an executioner of the church to kill members of the rebel, uh, rebelling Allied night order
Eventually, Chihou and Emi show up at Saddam's apartment building and along with Suzuno
Help him move all of the merchandise over to the shopping district before he leaves for the shift at McGraw- his shift at McGraw-hold
Here, Suzuno leaves the group and has a meeting with a hooded person involving her mission to kill Sadal, to which she shows hesitation
Another flashback shows her eavesdropping on the church's leaders while during a meeting on Enta Isla
Where they conspire to use inconspicuous means to kill their enemies, to which Frestia- or uh, Suzuno
And tries to justify her intentions of killing Sadal
Chihou, brought to tears, vehemently defends Sadal because of his kindness
Emi interjects and remains against killing Sadal instead, striving to fight for the world where everyone can live in peace
A statement which visibly enrages Suzuno, who abruptly walks off
While Emi and Chihou walk home and ponder what happened, they are attacked by a masked man with a scythe before them
Who reveals himself to be the fallen angel Sariel before managing to overwhelm Emilia in battle
Hmm. Wait, so they have a higher plane in the other world or this world?
In the other world. They're coming through this portal
And uh, they have a higher plane in that world?
So does that follow the biblical fallen angels and landing on the-
Not to that level, no. It's more of a, like a broad thing
Cause a lot of the angels are just as bad as the demons
It's kinda like, you know, supernatural, you know, where the angels are no better than the demons themselves
Uh, Chihou tries to call Sadal, but is knocked unconscious by Crestia
At the same time, Sadal learns from Chihou's mother that Chihou didn't arrive home
And that Hanzo, and has Hanzo track Emi's location via GPS
But instead finds Suzuno moving rapidly towards the city hall
Also learning that Mitsuki, uh, identity is a forgery
Sadal hurriedly heads to the city hall to rescue Chihou while Oba regains consciousness at the hospital
So he's been fucked up and- Just beat to hell and left him in the hospital
Well after that one attack with those multiple layers of circles and he got punched
Yeah, he can't eat and wake up for a long ass time
Jesus
Episode 12 is called The Devil Carries Out His Duties
So Chihou steps out of the hospital room for a bit and notices an unconscious police officer
While investigating, he is violently punched into submission by a newly awakened Oba
Who learns of Sadal's residence from Chihou- Chihou's insurance card
Jesus
Atop city hall, Sariel sadistically begins torturing Emilia in order to obtain the better half
Which is the sword that she holds
Although it refuses to manifest in his presence
Meanwhile, Satan arrives and destroys Sariel's barrier using his remaining magic
At that point, Crestia attacks him with a magic mallet
And is surprised to learn that Satan and his fellow demons had known about her
Since she first moved into Villa Rosa, their apartment complex
Because they live in an apartment complex
Not having any magic
Satan takes a beating from Crestia
But gets up nonetheless to rescue Chihou from Sariel
Leaving Crestia to realize that unlike Satan, she had abandoned her friends
At the same time, Oba visits Lucifer and seeks to reestablish their contract
As Sariel begins to reveal a perverted nature
Emilia claims that Satan will show up and save Chihou
Because of his natural instinct to protect his coworkers
Which is mocked by Sariel
Much to Chihou and Emilia's relief, Satan does arrive
But is easily overwhelmed by Sariel due to his lack of magic
Elsewhere, Oba replenishes his magic with Emilia's drink
And casts a spell which enlarges the moon
Which increases Sariel's magic
Which subsequently throw in the city into mass panic
The panic grants Satan an enormous magical boost
But Sariel remains confident in his power
So they created the moon to increase Sariel's power
But that created fear in the city
So then Satan gets power from the fear
That moon's real big today
What the fuck?
Why does that increase Sariel's powers?
It's something like where he gets his abilities from the lunar light
Is he a werewolf?
No
It's one of his angel abilities I guess
Let's see here
The panic grants
Let's see
Grants Satan an enormous magical boost
But Sariel remains confident of his power
Even as Cressia decides to side with Satan
Elsewhere, Lucifer knocks Oba out
Cancelling the moon spell
After deceiving him into throwing the city into panic for Satan's advantage
So he let Oba cast a spell to enlarge the moon
And then knocked his ass out
It feels like if you had this little nerdy kid just punch you in the face
So he got hit by Satan and Lucifer now
Finally, Satan and Sariel engage in an epic aerial battle
Which destroys half of the city and ultimately ends with Sariel's defeat to Satan's demon sword
That's right, half the city, huh?
Yeah, it's half of the city
Hopefully McRonals is okay
And now last episode of the season for last episode of this season
Season two is out though
Episode 13
The devil and the hero do some honest hard work
They've been doing that forever at this point
Yes, they have
They're working hard as hell
So Chi-Ha has a strange dream where Satan leaves Earth and returns to Enta Isla
Leaving her behind much to her agony
While calling the dream to Sadal the next day
He confirms that he doesn't have enough magic to return since he used it to repair the entire city
From his and Sariel's battle the previous day
So the city's back to normal?
Yeah
They have a real status quo they set every episode
Yes
At the same time they discover Sariel in McRonals' freezer
Since Sadal's magical bamboo had redirected his portal
Hmm
The bamboo trees that they set up in front of McRonals
Since they had a magical nature and he used his abilities to create them
It redirected the portal that Sariel tried to use to escape from the last episode to McRonals' freezer
Jesus
So he's in the freezer at this point
He's sitting in the freezer?
McRonals
Sariel immediately falls head over heels for Mayumi much to his disgust
Or sorry much to her disgust
I like her but I don't know why
Fuck
And she's like oh look at this creep
Meanwhile Emi also has a strange dream where Satan conquers Sasazuka
As she goes to visit Sadal and company Shiro asks Sadal for some time off which makes her suspicious
Causing her to enlist Emeraldah to see where they might be up to
Later Emi notices numerous boxes being delivered to Sadal's apartment and grows even more suspicious
At work Sadal suddenly asks Mayumi for a shift change which causes Chihou to fear that he might be returning to Entei Isla
But Sadal apologetically keeps their motives hidden from her
Chihou and Emi decide to follow Sadal the next day to find out what they have been up to
And discover that he and along with Shiro have taken extra jobs to pay for Hanzo's GPS trackers which save them from Sariel
They're working extra jobs to get more GPS trackers so they keep their friends safe
As Emi questions Sadal on the boxes they return to the Villa Rosa to discover that Hanzo had been caught in a purchasing scam whereby he was tricked into buying useless items
Jesus
So Lucifer being on the computer all the time bought all this shit because of a scam?
So now they're all fucked
Sadal and Emi head over to the retailer to claim a refund and discover that Shiro has been working there along with a threatening manager who refuses to refund due to a contract Hanzo signed
Emi is able to resolve the situation
Is he 13?
Yeah he's like in this world he's young
So that's a voided contract I would say
Yep
Emi is able to resolve the situation via a cooling off period
In the contract
Which means that since he's under the age of 17 or 18 in Japan it doesn't go through
I figured as much because I'm having to be ridiculous you can't hold a child to a contract that they don't fully understand
Exactly
So eventually Shiro and Sadal celebrate their success by going out to a restaurant while everyone goes back to living
I can afford to go out to a restaurant
That must be nice
I think Emi paid for it
Does she make more than
She makes a lot more than me
Yeah
She works as a tech support
She's over here making bang and he's over here working at McJonk
She's out of her own nice apartment
She can buy new clothes
I can't even do that
Got a car
How many complete do you have the same car
I want to see a scene where he's just sifted through the thrift store
Alceo does that
Does he?
She goes through those cheap shops even you have to buy food on certain days
Jesus
So they celebrate at the restaurant while everyone goes back to living normally in the human world
You know what I think I think the writer went through that his life
Probably
And he just like decided to pour it into a story
It's a good story though
Yeah you can tell when they're good story when it sounds so believable
Yeah
The more than likely the writer has had the situation himself
Minus the supernatural stuff
Yeah
But that's always good stories
In the epilogue Sadal is forced to walk home through the rain after work
While waiting at the crosswalk Emmy approaches and gives him a new umbrella as a replacement for the one that he had lent her in episode one
Under my umbrella
Sadal thanks her and she welcomes him with a smile
That's how season one ends
That's cute
But just watching him struggle so hard
You don't make ends meet it's so fucking difficult
Right up that's season one of the devil is a part timer
Season two I think fell off a little bit
That's a lie though he's not a part timer he's a full time assistant manager
Started off with a part time
All right
All right and moving on into ready
Insanity
We'll see what we got today
I'm making or I'm getting crazy
Let's see a little green
Yeah
All righty these are all retail hell
Oh no
Since we just got out of the Christmas season
Oh my
Here's some story
Christmas oh my god
Someone blew the shit out of the bathroom
All righty first one is by significant brush to six
Significant brush
Yes
A bush
Brush
For the significant bush
I want to see a significant bush
I know you do
I don't mind
This person puts
Yesterday I had a lady come up to me and say
Excuse me sir do you know where I can find this item
I need this specific one
I looked on aisle 14 but I didn't see it
And showed me a picture
I said oh it'd be on aisle 11
With the baking items about halfway down on the left
She responded yelling
Howdy
What
Fuck it started screaming
Grrrr
How dare you assume I speak English
Don't you dare respond to me
And show me where it is now
What
Yeah
Bitch you spoke to me in English
How's would I understand you
This lady didn't have any accent or anything
It was so strange
A manager overheard this and came over
And they had a full conversation
That ended up in her being told to buy her groceries and leave
But it was the strangest thing that happens to me in the store
I've gotten to the point that I'm pretty desensitized to the random bullshit that happens
But I couldn't help but laugh out loud
Today when I got to work the manager said
Hey good morning how are you? I said
Good how's it going? He goes
How dare you speak to me in English
I love this show
Weird
That's a weird response you have
How dare you
How dare you assume I speak English
Knowing that I spoke English to you first
How dare you assume that he knows any other language
Alrighty next one is
By joxard
Or joxert
Joxert
It's joker
Joinger
They could be trying something weird to the letters trying to make it sound
To them it's funny to us it's like whatever
This person puts
A lady bought a pen at Hobby Lobby and tried to return it to my craft store
She had three receipts and three separate items
Two of which were ours
The pen on the third receipt was not
For the one physically in my hand
She was the same it was the same brand but the one on the receipt was a fine point
Apparently the one in his hand was a regular pen
Instead of a fine point pen
The one in my hand was extra fine
Apparently there's a difference
Lady argued with me and then yelled at her husband
When she said
Isn't that the pen you got from Hobby Lobby
I said we do not accept returns from Hobby Lobby
We're not the same stalker
Yeah
Mystery solved ma'am
This
Your husband's a moron
This is Joanne
She started cussing at me
So I called my I called the manager
And she didn't want to come up and tried to handle it from where she was
But that wasn't happening and she came up and said I was
And said what I had already told her
Lady started pounding on the counter and screaming
Manager gave in eventually and just put the number on the pen she actually bought from us
Don't give in to these this is this is why they always are like this
Yes
Don't give in to their bullshit
Then when they left the manager said told me
I'm very busy I can't keep I can't keep coming up here
It's even worse when your your own ally in battle is a does have your back
And I said it's not my fault people are screaming at me for stupid stuff
And it's also not my fault to buy one get one sales aren't working
And you require us to call you up so you can take care of it
She took me off register for my last half hour
Because she was sick of me of me calling her the funny shit
My co worker who replaced me had a couple had to call her a couple more times for the same shit
That I was dealing with and I just felt justified because it wasn't just me
I hate co workers who like difficult to work with
Yeah like we're already having to deal with everyone else
And I have to deal with each other like you're not even on a united front at this point
We had to be united against all these enemies basically at this point
Like that episode of South Park where those people at the mall were ready for the Black Friday sale
They were ready to get in and then I was going to get in and wear my fat vagina
Alrighty next one is by stars have aligned
Oh my god Cthulhu's resin
I was working and I was working an evening and ringing up a middle-aged lady
She's starting to talk to me which I honestly don't mind as it was
As it was during a quiet time and I was kind of bored
She began to ask how long I've been working here and I said and if I was full time. Yeah
And when I responded since I was 16 she kind of smart
Then she asked me how old I was and I began to tell her son
This is where you'll be if you don't listen in school to which I replied 17
And mentioned that I'm currently applying at university and have recently been accepted to a pretty elite one
The colors rained from her face
She told me she is sure I assumed I was in my 40s. Fuck. Yeah, bro. What the fuck do you look like?
What life have you lived that you look like a 40 year old in the 17
LMFAO I have a baby face. So I'm not sure where I'm not sure how that worked. I mean, of course
She's gonna say she has a baby face. No, she looks like a smoker. That's been smoking for 45 years
She didn't say anything the rest of me ringing her up
I hate how customers assume that because you're working retail your life is meaningless and you automatically you're automatically less educated
And even if I was older and working in retail that literally doesn't matter. It's a job
Yeah, one of the worst jobs on the planet. Yes
People are so draining. All righty. Next one is by anti pancakes
My pancake anti pancakes. They don't like pancakes. I don't like my pancake
The autistic one he's the greatest
This person puts so I was just reflecting on some of the most bizarre encounters I had while working in retail
I used to work at a high-end department store, which is which is exclusively located in the Midwest area. Oh so fancy
So my question is what?
What high-end retail store? Yeah, that's located only in the Midwest
I
Don't know cold Bucky's that's not what I
Don't know. That's not a high-end for another another thing like any store no matter how high-end will always get every type of customer
Yes, it's the life that we live even if you go into like a
Louis Vuitton stores. Yeah, you see that hood rat over there, too
And they will take a shot before yes
Yes, they will the company takes pride in the customer service and we are required to have top notch service including greeting the customer
Within 30 seconds and helping them find anything that they need the 30 second. Yeah
Well, I worked the makeup counter which is also attached to the fragrance fragrance section
So I juggle between both of those departments. Anyways during my shift
I see a lady she is about middle-aged and I promptly go up to greet her and ask if she needed any help finding something
Everyone's middle-aged lately
She responded that she did and that she needed to help finding a gift set for her friend because she
The one she gave her was too sweet smelling and was looking to return it
It was the the birthday cake bath set by philosophy. Oh, that wasn't a powerful
Like
Yeah, that sound is her saying that sound is strong I
Said not a problem and we spent 30 minutes going through and sampling other products for her to try
That would be better fit for her friend. You know if I work in one of these places
I'd be such a douchebag, you know, like when they sprayed the the air around you. Yeah, I just
It's Frank
How's this much?
No, I'm not a treasure. Oh
You don't like that one either. I'm here. How about it?
Be such a movie scene of it is getting sprayed in the mouth
Well, I finally found something for her and she liked it and we go around to the cash register
Do you like that? It's not in what you like lady. It's your friend has to like it. I
Wouldn't buy a gift that I like for someone else. You know, I mean, yeah
No
We go to the cash register to start making the return she hands me with a receipt from her shopping bag and I proceeded
I start to proceed I then asked for the best said that she wants to return
Well, she responds saying that she doesn't have it that her friend does I tell her I need the product to for the exchange
And that's when she started to get a bit irritated
She said her friend lives four hours away and that she mailed it to her so she can't get it
But her friend didn't like it and wanted to send her something else. I
Apologize. I'm a friend would be like I didn't like your gift. I'd be like, thank you. I'll use this someday. I
Inferred inform her without the product
I can't exchange it but she was welcome to buy it and I apologize for the inconvenience
this back-and-forth went on for a little while as I was basically repeating myself multiple times and
She eventually gets really angry angry and raised her voice saying do you expect me to drive four hours just to get the product?
I am so embarrassed and that my friend hated her gift
She told me it smelled like something for a teenager and not for a 60 year old woman
Old hot. I swear I got it for her. So I don't see why this is a problem. What's your where's your manager?
Ah the manager my manager was near earshot and stepped into the situation
Stepped in to handle the situation. Sorry, man. How would you try this perfume? He's brazen the
Good thing since she started making a scene and basically told her the same thing
She eventually stormed off saying she's never shopping here again
So dumbfounded that she
That she expected to return an item. She didn't even have I wasn't even a rails at a loss for words because of the situation
We too, but okay, so you want to exchange this but you don't even have the product you bought previously
Well, let me put back gas in my car. My car's at home. Yeah, so how do I put my gate?
Like I'm like going if I went to the gas it should have paid for $20 gas, right? Yeah, right
But my car's at home. I mean I'm like
fucking stupid
Alrighty next one is by turbulent to visit eight seven four one turbulent visit man. I must have been going to the ringer
This person puts this happened yesterday
A lady came into my store a couple of minutes before closing. Of course, she took her sweet time shopping
Five minutes around after we closed we started over again
This happened yesterday a lady came into my store a couple of minutes before closing time. Okay. Okay, that's why of course
She took her sweet time shopping. I pulled out a whole cart
Five minutes after we closed she came to the register with a rather full cart and wanted to use her coupons to get a discount
She couldn't because I can't discount items already on sale
So after I found an item I was allowed to discount she remembered that she forgot something
She goes to find the item and before she comes back. I see her browsing some more
Okay, finally, she's back and I finished the transaction, but then she pulls out her phone and asks me if we have this item in stock
Please note that it is already ten minutes after closing and
We we only have 30 minutes after we close to leave the store
Or we're scolded the next day for staying unnecessarily late
It's not our fault
Luckily she left and even apologized for coming in last minute. I just say goodbye and close the store
I don't want your apology. Don't come in here
But seriously if you're sorry for coming last minute at least be quick and don't waste my time
Just because you came into the store before
Closing time doesn't mean you have the right to stay after closing until you're done
You can stay after closing as long as you please
Just
ungrateful people like for me if I get there like 15 minutes before a store closes like I'm running through that fucking store like
It's like fuck fuck fuck
And it's mostly because I didn't realize they closed early like on a Sunday or something like yeah
It's like fuck like Walmart's now they all close at 11
Yeah, man. What the hell?
He's been 24 hours 24 hours a day and not no more now. I'm timed out. No, thanks. Kobe. I
Ready? The next one is by fire at midnight fire at midnight, huh? Yeah, this person puts it's two minutes to close
I'm standing at the door and ready to keep the inner set open and shut the outer set this woman and her daughter walk in and
I and I say just so you know, we are closing in two minutes. She flat-out ignores me pretending. I'm a coat rack. I
Turn to my co-worker and say well fuck me then so I get on the PA and make the two-minute announcement
You hear me?
That closing I walk out
Sorry, I'll walk over to this woman and her kid who are cooing over how cute animals are and proceed to tell her
We are still closing
She does the whole oh, I didn't know and walks towards the door then stops
I was doing something and I noticed her and I was doing something and noticed her
So I came over and asked her if she was okay. She says she needed animal food
I told her we were closing down now and she was too late
She was the
This was what?
How the weights written? Sorry
This was when she told me that they were completely out and her animal was going to starve
To get a star woman just get some get her some McDonald's. He's a McDonald's. Here's a McDonald's
I told her I had warned her we were
When she was walking in that we were closing in too, and she said that she didn't hear me
I straight-up told her she ignored me said sorry
We are closed down and walked her out lady
If it was an emergency
You would have looked up whenever it looked up when we closed flown in grabbed the food and then cooed over how cute animals
Were not bullshitted for your two minutes after that
It's life. Yeah. Yeah people are insane
Last one by Xander the okay
He's okay, right? Yes, make sure he's okay
I'm a manager at a small chain cookie shop in central London. Oh pain cookie shop. So lots and lots of tourists
you're gonna chuck the bars I
Had a small child come in maybe three or four and shut my door
Then when their dad came in and removed them
They shouted no and then decided to throw themselves on the floor outside and start kicking and screaming and crying
For ten minutes. Oh, it's a long time. Then they removed their shoes and started kicking their feet
And this is like a shoe's off
And this is like a shoe's off their dad then bought them a cookie because obviously a tantrum of that size needs one
They're still there, but I have decided to leave the shop and take my 20 minutes
But it's quieter now and I have a headache from a cold and I'm not in the mood to deal with this. I hate people
See
Extra. Oh, yeah, the shop is also located in a group of tunnels. So it's so every noise is amplified. Damn
Ten minutes of ranting and raving huh? Yes a little three or four year old throwing a tantrum
Please I've heard all that at my store. Yeah, they will fucking wail like a banshee
You just the walls vibrating from the screams. He's just like, oh god
If you had a I had one screaming so much
That the mom was so embarrassed. They left midline without buying anything
Because he was fucking hollering
They were branding him or something god that bad he's like
Good lord was waiting at the top of his lungs
Yeah, that's that's ridiculous. That's kids for you too much. So so again if you have a kid that you know
They're gonna yell don't take him into a tunnel and buy cookie grab that bill exactly. Just I'll give you something to yell back
You can't do that to kids. Yes, I can
Now I've never had my kid
But then again, I'd be never say never
Yeah, just just walk him on the outside of a pond or something. Aren't you the one that smacked your cousin? I slapped him in the face
Hey, he's not my kid. How is he?
So fuck that motherfucker
You can slap the shit out of it
You will be talking shit again, he tried to hit my dog fucking slapped him in the face
So that's funny. That's good parent
Again my dog was a parrot
No, that was your kid. I guess technically. Yeah, that's your kid. You smacked the person that was attacking your kid
Wasn't even that hard. I fucking barely tapped him, but he still will. He's fucking overreacting like a bitch. You see
I already knew it. So I got a stuffman on the top of the the top fucking uh
He's very he was small so I got to stuffed him in the top of the toilet uh, his tank
And he just left him there
If I folded him in the right way, I find him like three weeks later because the toilet got clogged up
All right, anything else that before we head out tonight, um
How dare you assume I speak English
Exactly said in perfect English
Exactly. It's the funniest line i've heard in a long time. I'm gonna use that. How dare you assume I speak
It's like bitch what am I supposed to assume
What am I supposed
But people are stupid just very very stupid. But with that we will see you guys on the next one