1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,320 Hello and welcome back to the podcast. I'm Michael. I'm Noe. And we are the Knights 2 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,560 of Entertainment podcast covering your favorite and undone movies, games, comic books, anime, 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:22,320 and more weekly. We appreciate you being here. Let's go ahead and start off with some urban 4 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:27,640 dictionary today. Yeah, let's let's pretend I have a whole set ready to go. And I'm not 5 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:34,280 digging through these randomly. This one just says rat queen drink rat water and you will 6 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:40,160 shall become a rat queen. I guess that's in the hood. I don't know. You're going to be 7 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:50,760 a hood rat. You drink hood water. Dirty or chat. It's get you fucked that goes back on 8 00:00:50,760 --> 00:01:08,320 the. That's what chat does a Mexican drink. Yeah, that's a big drink. Yeah. Yeah. Lila 9 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:14,360 Rossi Lila Rossi. Oh boy. This is a long one. Oh God. The evil ass Italian bitch from Miraculous 10 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:20,720 Ladybug said it with Hawk Moss sweating Marionette Chloe and Kagome and lie with her ever 11 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:25,720 breath and makes makes rugs look like looking pathetic. But yeah, my dumb ass friend still 12 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,480 defends it with the she's not evil or she's just a child like several others do for her. 13 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:36,680 Hashtag fuck Lila Rossi. Well, God, this lady hates Lila Rossi. Hey man, some characters 14 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:41,560 they just they're so good at what they do. They just build that I are like Topher. Yeah. 15 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:46,920 I know that kid can never work at anything really ever again. He's gonna have to live 16 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:52,520 off those royalties or dye his hair to where people don't know who he is. He got real typecast. 17 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:58,640 Yeah. It was hard not to see him as anything else. Yeah. Was he in anything else? Uh, I 18 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:04,600 don't know if he's in any other shows or anything. Oh, like some people, maybe some people just 19 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:09,080 like they they act for a little bit. They make some money and then they just like play, 20 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,080 especially like kids, right? Yeah, they grow up. They just move and they don't like wash 21 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,920 out. They just like maybe move on to something else. Like like the what are those kids from 22 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:21,560 Cody and Zach or like the sweet life is Zach and Cody. Yeah. They grew up to they went 23 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:26,480 to college. They they they studied hard. They do one different endeavors and they came back 24 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,760 to act a little bit. I mean, think about it. You're only going to think of that dude that 25 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:39,840 played Jamie Lannister as a as an incest loving motherfucker. Oh, man loves him. So let me 26 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:44,560 see what else we can find here. There's got to be something on there. I'm sure there's 27 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:50,600 something stupid and crazy. There's a thousand here. You also have to be very careful about 28 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:57,360 what you can cancel right off the bat. I'm sure I've said something on this is the longest 29 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:05,320 entry I've ever seen. Holy crap. Let's not do that. Well, maybe I should. What is it? 30 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:11,760 It just says Notre Dame prep. Notre Dame prep. Yeah. You know, you went to NDP when your 31 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:15,080 collection of ribbons grew to be larger than your wardrobe. You still wear your saddle 32 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:19,680 shoes because they are so they are so worn and uncomfortable. Your blue dress is a multitude 33 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:24,480 of holes and rips and you wouldn't have any other way. It's like Notre Dame like alum. 34 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:29,440 I guess. Yeah. But you're only going to get this if you're an alum of Notre Dame. I guess 35 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:35,520 so. This poor guy's name is Joe. Small dick ugly thought. Thin girls like him, but he 36 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:43,200 looked like a smush skittle. Smush skittle. Yeah. Tore that man apart. My God. How ugly 37 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:48,600 do you have to look like a smush skittle? You look like a face so flat you can bite 38 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:55,960 a wall. This comedian said a long time ago, I never forgot that line. Can you imagine 39 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:05,640 how flat your face had to be to bite a wall? My God. Fucking hammerhead. This is called 40 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:10,520 tampoon fishing. When you accidentally fuck your girl while her tampon is tampon. Did 41 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:15,960 I say tampon? The tampon? The tampon is on. You were real redneck with that one. You know 42 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,840 it isn't tampon. The tampon is still in her pussy, thereby pushing it in deeper into 43 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,960 her vagina. Oh God. When you finish it, of course you have to retrieve the tampon and 44 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:31,160 push it out of her vagina. Yeah, no, I'm good. I don't need that. Menstrual sex is not for 45 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:38,360 me. Sorry. Same. I don't do well with blood. You don't do well with a lot of body fluids? 46 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:51,640 Alright, let's cycle out. No, wait. Wait. Tag along twat. A guy slash girl that is so 47 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,720 pathetic they follow other couples around to parties and around school and ruin their 48 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,200 fun. I can see that. They don't understand that there's only ass to be tagged along out 49 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,680 of pity and oblivious to realize they are not liked and people are always saying we're 50 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:07,040 dying. Goddamn. Took a little bit of a turn there. A little bit, yeah. I just wanted them 51 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:13,840 to die. I was like damn. I have the other sit in them when couples will invite you right 52 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,480 and you don't want to go because you don't want to be a third wheel and it's boring as 53 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:22,640 fuck. Yeah, I can definitely see that. Pressing as hell too. I never like to be a third wheel. 54 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:30,300 I will never be a third wheel again. Again? Never again. Only because it was Infinity 55 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:37,400 Wars. Yeah, I don't like that thing. This one's called Johnny Depp. Oh God. When you're 56 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,080 giving a guy a blood jump and he comes in your mouth with no warning and you're just 57 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:47,160 been Johnny Depp'd. It's better than Amber Herdhan. Yeah, everything's better than that. 58 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:54,760 We wake up and she shit beside you. That is a weird thing to, like that's not a rational 59 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,600 adult thing to do. Take a dump on a bed. I didn't say it was the dog. Out of spite. 60 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:05,760 I didn't say it was the dog. Like that's not a dog sized shit ma'am. They didn't have a 61 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,360 master. You know what it was the Chihuahua it's like that Chihuahua did not push up 62 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:18,240 out Lord. By the Lord it was shaking so much trying to get that shit. Let's see what else 63 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:26,400 we got. Nope. Nope. Nope. That's got the N word. Nope. Try reading one of those entries without 64 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:44,600 saying it. Wow. Yeesh. Nope. Frundle. Frundle. Female grundle the narrow strip of skin between 65 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:51,960 the butthole of the snatch. I've heard of a frundle. No. You remember this boxel porn 66 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:57,880 that big stash of triple x rated VHS tapes and DVDs that you keep hidden from your wife 67 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:08,400 from that 40 year old version. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a box of porn. The Ouija board. Yeah 68 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,920 it'll definitely invite evil spirits into your home like the exorcist or the evil dad. 69 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:17,520 Like does it sound like from experience like. Yeah. See I don't fuck with any of that though. 70 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:23,880 It's like no I'm good. I don't mean to be bad luck. It's like it's just better not to 71 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:30,200 have the bad luck. Flexible Hungarian. The satchelites are sucking your own dick while 72 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:38,120 thinking about the tree tree on treaty. Who does that. What's a tree. T. R. I. A. N. O. 73 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:45,440 N. Try on try non the Trinon treaty. Trinon treaty. Let me click on it. Oh God. Try not 74 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:52,720 a place where young cougar hunters live. So you're blowing yourself. Nothing about cougars. 75 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:57,960 A place where cougars are. They got the friggin treaty of Versailles on here. Well it's used 76 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,960 for every country to take the piss out of Germany and put it into the World War One. 77 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,520 The treaty said certain requirements that Germany had to accomplish had to agree on 78 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:09,000 in the common force were completely unfair to Germany. Make sure Germany had no real 79 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:14,400 choice but to agree. Germany got fucked over. To. I think it was legitimate. I think it 80 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:19,640 was legitimate. It's an actual definition. That was some nerd that didn't realize that 81 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:26,320 urban dictionary has no actual like purpose besides laughing. Bootleg ass. Something similar 82 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:33,280 fake or a copy of something or some or someone or something. Bootlegs. That's a bootleg. 83 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,640 People adding extra words. This is the N word. This is the N word. This means shit that he's 84 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:46,440 rewrote it around. Yes it is the N word. This one just says Danny Phantom. Some of your 85 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,560 data and suddenly replies a lot less. Maybe it says that they've been busy not quite ghosting 86 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:59,760 but almost. Danny Phantom huh? That's a good one though. Call somebody a Danny Phantom. 87 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:05,320 Tank sexual. Tankies who are only sexually attracted to other tankies. Tanky. Tanky. 88 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:12,240 Is that bad? I'm sorry if it is. No it's not. Are you looking at me? It's a slur against 89 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:23,880 people in the Thomas the Tank Engine Twitter fandom. I'm so sorry. Wow. Look at all those 90 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:30,280 fucking tankies. That's fucked up. Why are they going? What's with the? That's a fandom 91 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,840 for Thomas the Tank Engine? Yes there's people that go around following it. Well good for 92 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:41,880 you. I guess. You say she's grown fast all night real fast. He's like fucking tankies. 93 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:50,400 Why does that sound like it should be back? It's almost like that old Tosh Daniel Tosh 94 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:55,800 skit where he's like do you find this offensive? I don't know if you remember that one or not. 95 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:01,760 He did a lot of stuff. He had a group of different ethnicities. He's like does anybody here find 96 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,440 this word offensive? Oh yeah. The most random shit. He was just like marking them out when 97 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:13,520 they did it. Yeah I remember that. And it was like what made it funny was how serious 98 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:18,240 he was trying to be and how comedic he was saying. But he kept such a straight face. 99 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:25,200 But the words he said. Like the randomest words. Like he called it. He said gobstopper. 100 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:30,160 Is anybody offended whenever I say gobstopper? It's a little Asian lady. He's like really? 101 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:39,000 I remember that yeah. I haven't seen that in a long time. You gotta be careful with 102 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:44,680 Tosh.0 though. Sometimes that shit is grotesque. There was one really nasty one that I could 103 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:52,080 not watch. We'll just think he's got his own podcast now called The Tosh Show. And he 104 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:57,080 said it's illegal. He gets far away from the word Tosh.0 that he can get without getting 105 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:03,440 sick. Really? He can't use Tosh.0? No. Why? Because Comedy Central owns it. So what about 106 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:09,200 the Daniel Tosh Show? That's why he calls it Tosh Show. Because people know Tosh.0 right? 107 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:14,320 As close as he can get to Tosh.0. So like talk show and Daniel Tosh put together? Yeah. 108 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:22,440 Tosh Show. Smart. And the people that he's interviewed so far is fucking just. It's stupid. 109 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:32,240 He interviewed his wife's gynecologist. He's interviewed this lady that is like a new wave 110 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:41,480 hipster. And then he interviewed his French friend. Fuck friend. Just random shit. Bubble 111 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:47,600 sucker. Bubble sucker? What? The unfortunate consequence of too much air being blown up 112 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,360 the anus during the act of giving a rim job. There's nothing in gases being omitted back 113 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:58,800 into the giver's mouth. That one gotcha. It's almost as bad as falling in shit. Oh it's 114 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:04,720 not nothing. It's fucking falling in literal shit. Yeah but this shit might fall on you. 115 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:10,800 God. They start giving you a person a bubblegit. That one's racist. Not that one. That's the 116 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:17,840 word I'm looking at. He's going through it like that's racist. I can't do that one. No. 117 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:24,880 Urban Dictionary has quite a few racist entries. Involuntary protein spill. The British for 118 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:29,840 jizzing in your pants. Oh God. I don't know. How do you think people are actually just 119 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:37,080 busting their own? Yeah like they have some self control. Busting is like you're standing 120 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:43,040 in line all of a sudden. Everyone's looking at you while you're standing there. Eight 121 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:54,720 fucking deep line. Spilling the coconut. Oh boy. Using the spoon to separate the lips 122 00:12:54,720 --> 00:13:00,600 of the vagina then using this spoon to eat her vaginal fluids like a soup. Ew. No I'm 123 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:12,800 good. I'm good with all the fluid shit. Dreams. We'll let that one go. Huh? Let me see. Oh 124 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,800 yeah. How many we got so far? Are we good? Yeah we're good. I need to do one more. This 125 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:22,240 one just says subway asshole. The obnoxious fucker replaced Jared Fogel on Subway's TV 126 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:32,000 commercials. Okay. Would you rather have a subway asshole or pedophile? Your choice. 127 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:37,080 I mean how bad was the subway asshole? That's what this guy seems to be trying to say. Like 128 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:45,600 wait a minute. Hold on now. But he lost it on me. Subway family. Of all things. I bet 129 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:52,280 she's getting a lot of footlongs in prison. Five dollar footlong. Do the commercial Jared. 130 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:58,920 Oh come on. I did it eight times. Do it. Do the commercial. Then make him hold up a pair 131 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:05,560 of overweight pants. Then we have to do the five dollar footlong. He's got to do the jingle. 132 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:12,080 He can't just say it. He's got to do the full song. You know he probably has like if we're 133 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:16,520 being honest he's got like his shirt tucked over into the rim so it like it just comes 134 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:23,000 to his titties. You know what I mean? I can already tell. That's why I'll never forget 135 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:27,480 the South Park thing where they said you know we do have one white person here. They let 136 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:32,160 him out. I was like Jared? Yeah Jared freaking Jared God dang Fogel. And he would like put 137 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:36,920 a sandwich right on his crotch and just smash it in your face. Because your face was leveled 138 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:43,500 to his crotch. It was like a special attack. I played the shit out of that game. South 139 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:48,800 Park the Fractured But Whole. I got so good at it that I played it on the hardest difficulty 140 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:56,560 with the hardest character. A black. I do find that funny. The difficulty goes by how dark 141 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:03,840 your skin is. But he fucked up. You know what's funny about that is Morgan Freya won't fight 142 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,600 you if you're black. Really? Yeah like you hit him as much as you want right? He's like 143 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:14,920 you don't want to do that new kid. Don't try it new kid. And then I went back to the guy 144 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,960 that lets you change your skin color. I made myself Hispanic like me. Went back there and 145 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:25,360 he beat the shit out of me. Because he's the hardest boss in the game. He's the secret 146 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:31,880 boss. He's a fucking beast. Just fucked you completely up. He did. It took a lot but with 147 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:37,640 my strategies and my tactics I was good to go. It was a war of attrition. I once had 148 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:44,400 Butters lose his health. He lost his full health like it's an achievement. He got into a fight. 149 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,600 And if your character could lose their full amount of health. So let's say the health 150 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:54,960 is like 139. If they lose 139 times 5 in the entire match you get the achievement. I had 151 00:15:54,960 --> 00:16:01,600 Butters on it. He was basically a corpse standing. He got stomped the fuck out and I would not 152 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:09,000 let him die. I kept reviving. Like I don't know if I can keep going new kid. I don't 153 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:15,640 know. I'm going to get real fucked. He took such a fucking beating. He would be like on 154 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:22,680 two points of health and I'd fill him up again. Because he was a buffer. So my other team 155 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:28,480 can fight the people down below. And he kept the boss up top busy. He was getting the shit 156 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:37,000 beat out. Like the actual cell. Yeah. Until I beat them down enough the lower guys to 157 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:44,480 circle the boss. But man. Butters. He's a true friend. I don't know. I'm feeling real 158 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:53,920 bad right now. I don't know. My bottom is real sore. You guys ever seen that episode 159 00:16:53,920 --> 00:17:00,760 but it's fucking hilarious. I guess that's it for definitions. Alrighty for our cancel 160 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:09,000 essential. I'm sure there's going to be somebody that's fine. It's fine. For our little recap 161 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:14,760 today we have fairy tale episode one through ten. Because if I go any past that it's quite 162 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:20,480 a few episodes. I'm not going to be doing all of them. It's the first little small arc 163 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:25,960 of fairy tale which is ten episodes. Make it easier for everybody. Kind of give you 164 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:32,240 an idea of what the show is. I think we've done episode one a while back. Yeah. It was 165 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:40,240 a fire guy. Yeah. Not to not to drag Neil. So episode one is called the fairy tale. Lucy 166 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:44,660 Hart failure a celestial wizard who wants to join the fairy tale wizard's guild is nearly 167 00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:49,720 hypnotized by a flirtatious wizard named Salamander and to become in one of his admirers. She 168 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:56,240 is inadvertently saved by not to drag Neil and his cat partner happy. They miss a because 169 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:01,600 they mistake Salamander for Igneel a fire dragon that they were searching for at this 170 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:06,600 point. Although Lucy buys the two travelers a Mellis thanks they feel indebted and promise 171 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:12,340 to reproply repay her at some point. Later Salamander invites Lucy to a yacht party and 172 00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:17,220 exchange for membership into the fairy tale guild and tending to smuggle her and other 173 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:27,040 young girls he has kidnapped. To a race. To like an Epstein. I don't like Gary Fogle. 174 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:32,080 Not soon happy rescue Lucy again and expose Salamander as the imposter named Bora. Nasu 175 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:37,440 defeats Bora with dragon flayer magic revealing himself to be the real Salamander or nicknamed 176 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:44,000 real Salamander and unwittingly destroys the port and the process. The higher port. Good 177 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:49,880 job. He then advised Lucy to actually join fairy tale which she happily accepts as they 178 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,720 flee from the intervening army. It's like he just the end of the episode just them booking 179 00:18:54,720 --> 00:19:02,240 it while the entire army chases them. Episode two is called fire dragon monkey and bull. 180 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:07,240 Fire dragon monkey and bull. Yeah. So not soon happy bring Lucy to the fairy tale guild 181 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:11,800 hall in Magnolia which is the town that fairy tale guild is in. Where that is she officially 182 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:17,560 joins the guild. Lucy overhears a young boy named Romeo convolt arguing with the guild 183 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:25,040 master Makarov over the disappearance of his father Macchio. Or yeah. Macchio. Yeah. I'm 184 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,720 trying to remember how it was pronounced in the show. Sympathizing with Romeo due to the 185 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:34,480 disappearance of Igneel his own father. Nasu sets out to find Macchio himself with Lucy 186 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:39,320 and happy accompanying him. The three encounter a monkey like Vulcan monster which is like 187 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:47,480 a gigantic ape basically. They call him Vulcan monster. Donny apes. The monster kidnaps Lucy 188 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:53,200 not to allows the Vulcan not to follow the Vulcan to the cave but it's thrown outside 189 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:58,880 into into a crevice. So the monkey grabs him and just tosses him out of the cave. Lucy 190 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:04,080 summons her bulls with celestial spirit Taurus to fight the Vulcan but not to re-enters the 191 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:10,560 cave and knocks out Taurus whom he mistakes for another monster. Not to defeat the market 192 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:15,080 the Vulcan eventually and discovers it to be Macchio transit had transformed basically 193 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:21,560 he's being possessed by that monster. After Macchio is healed not to Lucy and happy reunite 194 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:28,240 him with his son Romeo at the end of the episode. But it's just like a pure comedy episode because 195 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:34,200 Nazis always doing stupid shit just running in for no reason. And then the celestial spirit 196 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:40,840 Taurus is obsessed with Lucy. Like it's in love with her. We thought show me that body 197 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:47,000 Lucy. It's like you if you were the bull. What I am a decent gentleman I would never. 198 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:55,160 Show me them titties. What them titties do. Episode 3 is called infiltrate to the Everloo 199 00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:01,440 mansion. So not to unhappy appear uninvited within Lucy's new apartment. Were they just 200 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:07,340 there? They just show up. Kicking the door down. Well she is subtly dim. Lucy demonstrates 201 00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:14,360 her magic by summoning a celestial spirit that she names Plue. Who suggests that the 202 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:19,460 three who suggests that the three wizards form a team. Not to tricks Lucy into accepting 203 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:26,300 a job to steal a book entitled Daybreak from a repulsive owner Duke Everloo. Which requires 204 00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:31,880 you to be hired as a maid. It's always like hey we can do this job but you have to dress 205 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:37,040 up as a maid to get in. He basically forces her to do it. Tricks her into doing it. They 206 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:43,760 arrive at the town of Shirosumi and learn that their client Caby Mellon has changed 207 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,560 the job to destroying the book and greatly increases the reward to 2 million jewels. 208 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:54,680 Which is their currency. When Everloo rejects Lucy and insults her appearance the three 209 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:59,760 infiltrate his mansion and steal the book. He basically says you're not my type. Cause 210 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:04,760 she's supposed to be like the hot girl in the anime itself. But he likes women that 211 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:12,600 are like just god awful ugly. That's the exact opposite of what you would expect of a creep. 212 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:18,280 He's like oh god you're so unattractive. And then you look at the woman that's the 213 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:23,440 maid that he does like and they all look like apes. Like just god awful hairy armed and 214 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:31,200 ugly. So Lucy flees into the sewers and discovers the book's hidden secrets before Everloo catches 215 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:47,640 her. While Natsu defeats Everloo's bodyguards the Vanish Brothers. Episode 4 is called Dear 216 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:53,240 Caby. So in this episode Lucy learns that the Everloo blackmail day breaks deceased 217 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:59,960 author Kimu Zalian into writing the book for him while in solitary confinement for three 218 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:06,640 years. Lucy summons her crowd spirit cancer since she's a celestial wizard. She basically 219 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:13,520 she can summon celestial beings basically like from another realm to aid her basically that 220 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:19,760 she forms contracts with. The most powerful are zodiac signs and she possesses a few of 221 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:24,960 those keys so cancer isn't that so she has a horse. She needs a Capricorn. That's all 222 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:29,560 she needs. She gets that eventually later on down the road. So yeah it's a goat that 223 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:37,920 dresses in a men in black suit with sunglasses. Nine inch penis. Probably. A goat with a men 224 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:44,440 in black suit. So Lucy summons her crowd spirit cancer where he's a hairdresser. So 225 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:49,040 he got the bull which is Taurus and carries this axe but he's also a perv and then you 226 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:57,640 have cancer. He's got these little scissors. He's a hairdresser. Get them highlights in. 227 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:04,240 That's the Everlu prompting the Duke to summon his own Virgo a monstrous maid spirit to the 228 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:11,840 shock of both. It's just a god-awful looking maiden. We're fine. Natsu appears alongside 229 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:18,520 Virgo after grabbing onto her from upstairs. While Natsu and Lucy defeat Everlu and Virgo 230 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:23,160 they return daybreak to Cabe Kimu's son who intends to preserve his father's honor by 231 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,680 burning the book. However Lucy reveals that the book is secretly Kimu's memoir written 232 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:33,720 for Cabe persuading him to keep the book. To Lucy's dismay Natsu realizes that Cabe 233 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:38,920 has no money and declines the two million jewel reward. So he's like no no no it's 234 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:44,600 fine keep it. I got the money. On their way home the three defeat a band of dark wizards 235 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:49,720 along their guildmate along with their guildmate Gray Foolbuster. One of the wizards utters 236 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:55,240 lullaby before a magic shadow engulfs him. That's how the episode ends. Is that like 237 00:24:55,240 --> 00:25:02,240 a placebo or like one of those like tablets to kill themselves? Lullaby. Burst into flames? 238 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:07,880 No no it's a it's another orc that happens later on. Episode five is called the Wizard 239 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:14,680 in Armor. So we start off Erza Scarlet fairy tale's strongest female wizard and disciplinarian 240 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:19,600 returns to the guild after an extended absence. To the guild's shock Erza recruits Natsu 241 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:25,700 and Gray to help her stop the dark guild Eisenwald from acquiring Lullaby a demon flute that 242 00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:31,280 kills all who listen to the music. So that's what Lullaby is. It's a jigglypuff with a 243 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:38,560 lethal effect. Yeah pretty much. The guild's administrator Mira Jane Strauss implores Lucy 244 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:45,200 to help keep Natsu and Gray from fighting an angry Erza. Arriving at the town of Onibus 245 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:50,280 Natsu is accidentally left on the train and assaulted by Kakiyama a shadow wizard from 246 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,880 Eisenwald. Unable to fight back due to his motion sickness because he gets sick every 247 00:25:54,880 --> 00:26:00,760 time he gets on anything that moves. Like just starts vomiting and burping. Natsu catches 248 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:06,440 a glimpse of Lullaby before his friends rescue him. Kakiyama delivers Lullaby to Eisenwald's 249 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:13,320 leader Eregor who plans to use the flu for an assassination plot. Episode six is called 250 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:19,520 Fairies in the Wind. The fairy tale wizards chase Eisenwald to a train station in Oshibana 251 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:24,200 believing that Eregor intends to broadcast Lullaby's song through the station speakers 252 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:30,280 to kill innocent civilians. While Natsu and Gray follow Eregor, Erza single-handedly defeats 253 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:35,560 most of the remaining wizards with her magic weaponry and on her own she fucks everybody 254 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:41,960 also. After Erza evacuates the city, Eregor traps her and other wizards inside an impenetrable 255 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:49,240 wind barrier before flying away. Meanwhile Gray learns that Eisenwald wizard Raul, that 256 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:56,240 wizard, god fucking I can't even speak. Gray learns that the Eisenwald wizard Raul that 257 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,920 Eregor's true targets are Makarov and the other legal guild masters at a conference 258 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:05,800 in the nearby town of Clover. So basically fairy tales guild leader and the guild leader 259 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:11,080 of all the other normal guilds are on one town having a conference and their plan is 260 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:18,240 to use the flute to kill all of them. It's darker than you would expect. Quite the chaos 261 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,400 around the nation I'm assuming. Yeah pretty much because if all the guild leaders are 262 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:27,800 dead all the guilds kind of fall apart a little bit. Episode 7 is called Flame and Wind. Natsu 263 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:33,240 defeats Kageyama who Erza determines has the ability to dispel the wind barrier trapping 264 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:39,040 them inside Oshibana station. Before she can threaten Kageyama into cooperating he is seriously 265 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:44,380 injured by his guildmate Karaka in an attempt to silence him. As the group thinks of another 266 00:27:44,380 --> 00:27:51,760 way out Happy remembers that Virgo had given him her key to relay to Lucy. So since Virgo 267 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:56,160 is one of the celestial wizards she's like here give Lucy my key. So that way she can 268 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:02,320 form a contract with Lucy. Who summons Virgo and uses the spirit of power to burrow out 269 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:10,440 of and beneath the barrier. Cause that's Virgo's special ability is she can dig. Like a dwarf 270 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:19,440 kind of yeah. Like she just spins around like a fucking drill. Like the most out of what 271 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:26,160 you would think is going to have Wonder Woman spinning to cut in your costume type of spin. 272 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,880 The fairy tale wizards take pity on Kageyama and bring him along as well. Natsu and Happy 273 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:35,280 catch up with Aragore as he flies towards Clover and battle him. Aragore surrounds himself 274 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:42,160 with a barrier of wind to negate Natsu's attacks. Episode 8 is called the strongest team. Angered 275 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:51,480 by his inability to breach Aragore's wind armor Natsu intensifies his flames and dissipates 276 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:57,720 Aragore's spell with the heat defeating him. So basically he without even... If anybody 277 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:02,120 knows One Piece obviously we've covered One Piece multiple times but Luffy is kind of 278 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:07,600 like lucky on certain things that happen to him. Natsu's almost the same way. Like things 279 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:12,640 happen and it's like he does things without knowing they're going to happen. So like he 280 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:18,200 gets really pissed which causes him to create higher intensity flames which scientifically 281 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:23,380 forces the wind to create a draft and it goes up with the flames and away from this other 282 00:29:23,380 --> 00:29:24,380 wind magician. 283 00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:28,880 He's one of those like just a subconsciously adept fighter. 284 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,960 Yes, yes. When Natsu's friends catch up with him Kageyama takes Lullaby from Aragore and 285 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:39,840 escapes to Clover on their magical fueled car to carry out Eisenwald's plot. As he prepares 286 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:46,200 to kill the guild masters outside the conference hall he is found by Makarov who persuades him 287 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,920 to surrender. However the flute is revealed to contain a gigantic demon created by the 288 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,480 ancient dark wizard Zeref who emerges from the flute and attempts to kill the guild masters 289 00:29:55,480 --> 00:30:05,840 regardless on its own. So it turns into literally a gigantic monster. The flute itself. Natsu, 290 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,880 Grey and Erza vanquish the demon and rescue the guild masters but accidentally demolish 291 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,480 the conference hall in the process. 292 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,520 So they fall in a vat of shit? 293 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,440 They just create rubble. 294 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:18,440 Okay. 295 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,720 Episode 9 is about Natsu discovers a village or devours a village. 296 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,960 I'm like he just finds another village. 297 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:25,960 Episode Nats... 298 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,560 When returning home from Clover the starving fairy tale wizard stumble upon a deserted 299 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,960 village with freshly prepared meals lying about. Erza suspects something to miss and 300 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,960 sends the others to find mushrooms in the nearby forest resulting in giant mushrooms 301 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:43,080 sprouting from Natsu, Grey and Happy's heads after the three eat them. 302 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,080 Weird. 303 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:48,000 Meanwhile Erza and Makarov discover a magic circle that transforms everything in the village 304 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:53,280 into giant monsters which the wizards attempt to eat only to find them inedible. 305 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:54,280 Eat? 306 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,280 Yes. 307 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,080 Eat a circle? What turns them into monsters? 308 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,540 They try they... 309 00:31:01,540 --> 00:31:05,400 It turns the village into giant monsters which the wizards attempt to eat only to find out 310 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,400 them inedible. 311 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,720 It's like food. Like monsters. They're gonna lure the monsters. 312 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:11,720 Okay okay. 313 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,120 Like they're fucking out of their minds but yes. 314 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,600 The mushrooms. You're messing with the brain huh? 315 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,600 Yes. 316 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:22,000 After nearly devoured Makarov lifts the spell and freezes villagers trapped inside of the 317 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,000 monsters. 318 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,840 Episode 10 is called Natsu vs Erza. 319 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:31,480 After returning to Magnolia Natsu duels Erza as a test of strength. However as an emissary 320 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,980 from the magical council interrupts the duel and arrests Erza for charges or for damages 321 00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:39,800 caused during fairy tales conflict with Eisenwald. 322 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,600 She gets arrested for their damage. 323 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:47,840 With Coral. Seagrain, a council member, warns that Erza should keep her shared past a secret. 324 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:53,520 Makarov disguises himself as Natsu as a favor for saving his life allowing Natsu to storm 325 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,400 the council headquarters and rescue Erza. 326 00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:02,240 However he discovers that Erza is merely standing in a mock trial for the council to assert 327 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:06,240 their authority and the two are forced to spend the night in a cell. 328 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,400 So it's all for show for the most part. It wasn't like they were actually gonna do anything 329 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:14,680 to her. They were just keeping her there as like a show to the country that they're doing 330 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,160 something. Yeah they destroyed a council building. 331 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:22,120 Right it's all for show. 332 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,200 Natsu tries to resume their match at the guild the next day but she quickly defeats him with 333 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,920 a single punch. 334 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:34,440 Still determined to prove himself Natsu takes an S class job request with Happy against 335 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,840 Makarov's permission. 336 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,000 Lucy joins them after discovering that the reward includes a zodiac key that she wants 337 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,840 to collect. 338 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,920 So she goes with him. 339 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,560 An S rank mission over there. Those are legit. 340 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,800 It really is for this world. 341 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,760 Like you actually have to be able to you have to be pretty high ranking. 342 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,920 That's how that episode ends. 343 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,480 That's all 10 of the first episode to Fairy Tale. 344 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,000 Fairy Tale is done with. 345 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,400 It's kind of like a one piece Naruto kind of combination. 346 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:14,680 Like it's got a lot of shounen style combat and stuff like that. 347 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:21,440 It's not but the only thing that the only knock I'll give it is there's a lot of plot 348 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:22,440 devices. 349 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,000 Where it's like plot armor. 350 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,040 Like mostly later on to where it's like the power of friendship. 351 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,400 Oh one of those oh boy. 352 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:38,120 Not too far of a degree it's not like a it's not like Captain Universe level. 353 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,160 There's some that comes up in that show. 354 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,160 Captain Planet. 355 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,160 The power of love. 356 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:49,240 Unfortunately I'll be. 357 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,160 Alright ready for Reddit. 358 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,280 Alright first one is by the Bogart. 359 00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,720 The Bogart where he holds the Moria in his sway. 360 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:01,720 I know. 361 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,760 Oh by the way these are all today I fucked ups. 362 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,360 So we're away from retail for this week. 363 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,220 This person puts this happened many years ago but I was still a young man in college 364 00:34:12,220 --> 00:34:16,680 but the story actually starts about 18 years before that whenever I was a baby. 365 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:17,680 My god. 366 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:18,680 I know. 367 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,680 He's going back real far here. 368 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,920 That's a world building to do. 369 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,040 Like most kids I hated getting soap in my eyes in the bath. 370 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,240 Even the gentle baby shampoo would send me into a rage. 371 00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:36,040 My dad being the intrepid problem solving sort with a penchant for over engineering 372 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,220 came up with a sort of 360 degree visor that my hair would stick through. 373 00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:43,440 Then they could wash my hair and the soapy water would just roll off. 374 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,440 It was great. 375 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:45,440 Funnish with goggles on it. 376 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,600 What it kind of looked like a flower on my head. 377 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,880 So my parents would say I was flowering while showering. 378 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:55,680 Eventually the og visor got mildew and was disposed of. 379 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,200 My dad made a few more over the years. 380 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,640 He ultimately stopped when he decided that I should be able to wash my hair without getting 381 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,280 soap in my eyes. 382 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,760 But I wasn't having any of it and started making my own. 383 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:09,560 Over time flower hats for this exact purpose became mass produced and I switched over to 384 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,440 just buying them as needed. 385 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,440 Never got soap in my eyes. 386 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:13,440 It was great. 387 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:17,680 Well by the time I was 20 and living in my own apartment in college I still hadn't kicked 388 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,240 the old flower hat. 389 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:23,240 I was showering while showering every day living my best life. 390 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:29,200 I don't understand like you just don't wash your fucking hair. 391 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,440 What is all these extra devices? 392 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,400 Cause he was scared to get soap in his eyes. 393 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,040 By the age of 20. 394 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,160 Closed your fucking eyes. 395 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,160 You're not having eyelids? 396 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,160 He's on the stairs. 397 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:41,160 Wash. 398 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,080 Is he one of those that can't close his eyes in the bathroom? 399 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,080 Maybe. 400 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,160 That's the he is so over complicated with his bullshit. 401 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,160 Yeah. 402 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,600 So I was flowering while showering every day living my best life. 403 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:57,240 See a cute girl staying in my place and suggesting that we take a shower together before fucking. 404 00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,200 She asked me to wash her hair and brush conditioners through it. 405 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,760 Which take off the flower hat. 406 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,400 How sexy would that look baby? 407 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,280 Which apparently felt really good to her. 408 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,280 It was a major turn on. 409 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,520 When I was done she offered to wash my hair. 410 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:15,400 I didn't think that would do anything for me but I said sure. 411 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:20,760 I then reached out of the shower for the drawer where I kept my flower hat and put it on. 412 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:25,080 She laughed and thought I was joking even after I explained what it was. 413 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:30,280 But then I think she noticed how it kind of looked weird and old and used. 414 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,280 And that it would be strangely elaborate to keep a flower hat in my bathroom for the occasional 415 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,840 joke. 416 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,000 To her credit she washed my hair while I wore it. 417 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,640 You should marry that woman because there's no fucking way. 418 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:42,640 We did. 419 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,120 We didn't mention them having sex that night. 420 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:45,120 No. 421 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,120 No. 422 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,120 You don't know. 423 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,120 You don't say. 424 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,920 She didn't find you attractive. 425 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,680 You put your fucking cap on. 426 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,760 To her it blocks your eyes. 427 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,960 Because your dumb ass can't close your fucking eyes. 428 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:01,280 I can't remember her explanation but after she left the next morning she didn't return 429 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:05,360 any of my calls or messages. 430 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,480 No shit. 431 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,160 I didn't stop flowering while showering immediately after that. 432 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,200 I wish she'd stop fucking saying that and she's going to be burning my fucking brain 433 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,920 flowering while showering for the rest of my fucking life. 434 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,120 Flowering while showering. 435 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,120 My kids are going to be like, Dad can we get to these flowers? 436 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,000 You close your fucking eyes. 437 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,600 And I just rub fucking some of their fucking eyeballs. 438 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,920 Now you know what it feels like. 439 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,240 I'll show you flowering while showering. 440 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:35,840 I would just say, oh, I washed my hair already if the situation came up again. 441 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,580 But whenever I met my now wife I knew it was time to give it up. 442 00:37:39,580 --> 00:37:41,640 So I no longer flower while I shower. 443 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:42,640 All you motherfuckers. 444 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,160 If I just live with the occasional pain of getting soap in my eyes. 445 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,840 Bro, just what the fuck is he talking about? 446 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,200 What the fuck is he talking about? 447 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,620 He is driving me insane. 448 00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:58,000 Why is he- How are you getting soap in your eyes? 449 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,040 Just close your fucking eyes. 450 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,040 What is it? 451 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,040 I don't understand what the fuck he is talking about. 452 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,120 I've never gotten soap in my eyes like that. 453 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,120 No. 454 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,840 If it happens it's just an accident. 455 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,440 You rub your face with the fucking water. 456 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,040 What what what? 457 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,040 Is he fucking? 458 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,400 Does he have his fucking eyes bolted open? 459 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:22,280 Yeah, like the whole fucking time. 460 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:23,280 But that was by far. 461 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:28,520 If I had a comment on there I'd be like, bro, what the fuck are you talking about? 462 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,680 Just close your fucking eyes. 463 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:31,680 You know what I mean? 464 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,880 Like there has got to- there cannot be real. 465 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,400 People are stupid. 466 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,480 But you better believe whenever I have had kids I immediately got them flower hats. 467 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,840 I bet you more fucking lives too, yeah. 468 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,400 My wife thinks they're brilliant. 469 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,720 She had no idea of my dark past. 470 00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:51,080 And every once in a while I look at my kids flower hats and I hear them calling to me, 471 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,920 beckoning me to don them. 472 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,760 I haven't come yet but I think it's only a matter of time. 473 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:56,760 No weirdo. 474 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,640 He wants to flower while he showers again? 475 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:02,000 Now you're never going to forget flower while showering. 476 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000 Flower while showers? 477 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,200 What a dumb motherfuckers. 478 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,800 Next one is by- And he has kids too? 479 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:09,800 I know. 480 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,200 To carry on this dumb jeet. 481 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,320 This dumb tradition. 482 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,320 Next one is by Ugly Duckling2005. 483 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,600 So I know when he was born. 484 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,600 Um. 485 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,040 It's person pits. 486 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,040 I'm 18. 487 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,200 I had been fantasizing about an escort so I could finally get laid. 488 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,680 I had a three hour window today with no one home. 489 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:33,080 I live with my mom and she would kick my ass if she caught me. 490 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,960 I found an average looking big titty ass woman. 491 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:37,960 Wait. 492 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:38,960 Wait. 493 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:39,960 No. 494 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,040 You're telling me he wanted to hook up with an escort. 495 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,240 You find. 496 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:46,240 You do what you do. 497 00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:47,240 You got the money. 498 00:39:47,240 --> 00:39:48,240 If you got the money. 499 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,400 You're telling me you had a window of three hours in your house. 500 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,960 Why don't you just go to a hotel room? 501 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,080 I'm sure she would find one. 502 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,480 If you couldn't. 503 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,200 What compels people to do the dumbest thing they can think of? 504 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,720 Yeah that's kind of what he did though. 505 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:10,280 So he found a big titty ass woman on a website with a decent price of $100 that lived in 506 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,040 a better area of town. 507 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,200 So she lives in a better spot than they do? 508 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,720 Well she must be making bank. 509 00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:18,920 So I used Uber to get there. 510 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:19,920 I had a BBBBJ. 511 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:20,920 BBBBJ? 512 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,920 Don't know what the fuck that's that. 513 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:24,920 What the fuck is that? 514 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,160 Is that literally what it says on there? 515 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,160 Yes. 516 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,160 How many B's is it? 517 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,160 Three. 518 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,160 BBB? 519 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,160 J. 520 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:37,000 Now you're going to wonder what that stands for. 521 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,480 My homie for the rest of my life. 522 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:42,240 He got a BBBBJ. 523 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:45,120 Does he have a stutter or something? 524 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,680 Then fuck for the condom. 525 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,440 Mind you I'm a virgin so putting on a condom was new. 526 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,360 I did have a general idea of how. 527 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:53,440 Asked her if it looked okay. 528 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,680 She said yes. 529 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,240 The moment I entered it was so anticlimactic. 530 00:40:57,240 --> 00:41:01,680 I was expecting heaven whenever I entered but it just felt exactly like my $20 pocket 531 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:02,680 from Amazon. 532 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:08,200 At least you know nothing you're not going to be used to. 533 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:12,960 It honestly didn't feel that good but I just went with the flow. 534 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,840 We did missionary, doggy, and cowgirl. 535 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:15,840 Then back to missionary. 536 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:19,480 As I was pulling out to take a breather I noticed that there was no condom anymore. 537 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:20,480 She? 538 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:21,480 She's a fucking disintegrator? 539 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:26,480 Who are the ones with the dollars? 540 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,960 Her juices just melted her away. 541 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,280 She now standing up pulls it out of her vagina. 542 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:37,140 Kind of laughs it off and says how did that happen? 543 00:41:37,140 --> 00:41:43,440 We then do BJ as that was her last condom for like 20 minutes and I couldn't finish 544 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,880 for the life of me. 545 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,840 I say it's all good in the end. 546 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,920 Now I'm scared shitless that I have an STD or STI. 547 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:50,920 What do I do? 548 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:51,920 Go to a doctor. 549 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:52,920 Don't hire a whore. 550 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,920 That would be your first for $100. 551 00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,200 You gotta go up in price on that one like at least a couple grand. 552 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,920 Get yourself a good one. 553 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,560 Buy a $100 whore. 554 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,520 $100 is not enough you know what I mean? 555 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:10,720 Next one is by Dr. Knight098. 556 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,500 My wife loves the way I smell after I shower. 557 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,220 She tells me this so this is nothing new. 558 00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:19,460 After we got off work today I helped her make dinner because she was so tired. 559 00:42:19,460 --> 00:42:23,880 This is normally her responsibility in the household as she is the chef and I am not. 560 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:28,840 She was really thankful and after eating and laying on me got turned on. 561 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:33,600 I fed into it and started dirty talk, nibbling her ear, kissing her neck and groping her. 562 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:39,240 We're on the couch touching each other preparing to get into the main course she whispered. 563 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:40,560 I want something. 564 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:46,400 To me so I looked in her eyes and with seriousness of King addressing his troops say do you want 565 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:51,440 my pee pee? 566 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,520 She recoiled in disgust and said to forget it. 567 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:58,120 This happened two weeks ago and she's still refusing to do anything sexual with me. 568 00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,120 I'm getting desperate. 569 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:04,400 I don't really see what I did was that bad. 570 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,680 Any advice on how to fix my mistake would be appreciated. 571 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:08,960 Edit. 572 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,400 His name is Vladimir not Mr. Winky. 573 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:12,400 Vladimir. 574 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,400 Isn't him his penis? 575 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,040 He named it Vladimir for the Impaler. 576 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,040 Mine's always been Priapus. 577 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:22,320 Like God a cock. 578 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:29,600 Alright next one is by. 579 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,600 I don't want to fucking fuck the name. 580 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:34,600 I'll fuck it up. 581 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:35,600 That bad huh? 582 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,920 Bunch of letters that don't go together. 583 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,240 So first it puts context. 584 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:42,680 I'm 26. 585 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:47,880 My mom and I were not close while I was growing up and to be honest we still aren't. 586 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,480 This is actually in seventh or eighth grade. 587 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,680 My friends and I were eating lunch in the cafeteria and someone started squirting ketchup 588 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:58,040 onto their food and someone said it looks like pre-cum and everyone laughed. 589 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,560 I kind of chuckled to seem like I knew what it meant. 590 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:02,560 Ketchup? 591 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,560 The water. 592 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:04,560 Oh the water. 593 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:05,560 Okay I'm like. 594 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:06,560 The water that comes out first? 595 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,560 I hope so. 596 00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:13,600 You better go to a doctor because pre-cum is red. 597 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:18,080 But I had no clue what they meant and thought pre-cum was a word related to something mundane. 598 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,400 But that was supposed to be funny. 599 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:21,400 Very sheltered by me. 600 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:22,400 You know the story. 601 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,320 I mean it's the structure of the story right? 602 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,160 If you know stories you know how this is going. 603 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:31,980 And in fact he brought up his mom before the story and then the inciting incident being 604 00:44:31,980 --> 00:44:32,980 the pre-cum thing. 605 00:44:32,980 --> 00:44:37,400 I can already guess he's going to ask his mom what it is. 606 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,600 Anyway later that week I was eating dinner with my mom, dad and sister and I don't remember 607 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,720 what we ate but ketchup was part of it. 608 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,640 My mom started squeezing the ketchup bottle and the red liquidy part started coming out. 609 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,600 I laughed a little bit and pointed to it and said that looks like pre-cum. 610 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,680 She looked at me kind of puzzled and then pretended like I didn't say anything. 611 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,760 The fuck did you say? 612 00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:00,400 I was sad that the joke didn't land but I chalked it up to her maybe not being in a 613 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:01,560 good mood. 614 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,400 When I found out what pre-cum actually was a year or so later I remembered that conversation 615 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,700 with my mom and was mortified. 616 00:45:07,700 --> 00:45:11,880 About 12 years after that initial conversation I brought it up to see if she remembered. 617 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,840 I hadn't seen her laugh that hard in a long time. 618 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,600 Finally she didn't even remember that conversation I couldn't believe it. 619 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,040 I was so embarrassed for so long that she didn't even remember the damn conversation. 620 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,040 No figure. 621 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,480 It's like oh I didn't even remember that. 622 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,720 Alright next one is by Pawsboy. 623 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,840 This person put. 624 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:30,840 P-A-W-S. 625 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:31,840 Paws. 626 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:32,840 Oh Pawsboy. 627 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:33,840 Yeah. 628 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:34,840 This person put. 629 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,600 I went to the gym early in the morning because I couldn't sleep. 630 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,280 I have a problem with getting dizzy fatigue whenever I go to the gym so I figured I'd 631 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,960 pick up a snack and some drinks to keep me going. 632 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,280 After I picked up a few things I noticed a protein shake. 633 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:50,160 I had no idea how to read Japanese but the giant 21 gram of protein caught my eye. 634 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,360 21 grams of protein my god. 635 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,080 You couldn't read it like you couldn't. 636 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,200 Like a stray shot. 637 00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:03,120 I picked it up because it was simple and quick and bike to the gym a block down. 638 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,680 I spent a few hours there and towards the end I noticed my stomach wasn't feeling alright. 639 00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:11,560 I went to the bathroom and dropped some weight and whenever that didn't work I had to cut 640 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,960 my workout short and bike back home. 641 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:14,960 At this point. 642 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:19,840 Bike back home huh with your stomach just fucking all growling. 643 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:23,240 Man that must have been quite the bike ride. 644 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:26,400 Try to keep your butt cheeks clenched on the seat. 645 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:30,280 At this point I thought it was just bloating. 646 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:34,600 I've drank a variety of protein shakes before and never had this issue but I've heard of 647 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,600 it. 648 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,560 I get home and decide it's a good idea to give my ladies some good morning time fun. 649 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,440 Half way through I noticed a change. 650 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:42,440 No longer just gas. 651 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,040 I feel like I'm going to shit my pants. 652 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:50,440 I rush to the bathroom and pass by a mirror and it literally looks like I'm pregnant with 653 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:51,440 twins. 654 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:55,320 I hop on the toilet and expecting some gas and full on liquid shit comes pouring out 655 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:56,320 of me. 656 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,680 It's so loud my wife comes and asks if I'm okay. 657 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:05,840 Jesus Christ are you fucking dying in there? 658 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,120 I'm still here and I've been on this toilet for god knows how long. 659 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,440 I can't feel my legs. 660 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,440 It's not stopping. 661 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,040 Jesus what are you? 662 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:17,600 God dang Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon 2? 663 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,640 I have no idea what did this to me. 664 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,240 I will never drink a Japanese protein shake again. 665 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:23,240 Oh man. 666 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:27,640 The watcher said laxative and 21 grams of probably something like that. 667 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,040 No it feels like it's a drink. 668 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,040 Who knows what the fuck it was. 669 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,040 Something I didn't agree with. 670 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,040 I'm kidding. 671 00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:39,640 Alright next one is by SM Chatten. 672 00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:40,640 SM Chatten? 673 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:41,640 Yeah. 674 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:42,640 First in Pizz. 675 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:43,640 This happened last night. 676 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,640 I've been chatting with a sexy Italian woman I've met on Tinder. 677 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,840 She came over for a drink and we started making out. 678 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,520 She then proceeded to drop to the floor and give me a porn star worthy blowjob which included 679 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,760 deep throat and gagging. 680 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:54,760 Hi buddy. 681 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,800 Hey man you can't gag on a deep throat can you? 682 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,600 Like once you lose the gag reflex it's gone. 683 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:01,600 Yeah that's true. 684 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,160 I'm a lion motherfucking. 685 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,120 My phone was pinging with notifications so I reached across the couch and proceeded to 686 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,120 turn it off. 687 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,120 Or so I thought. 688 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,240 I then turned it into her sucking and me moaning. 689 00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:14,520 As I get the best head of my life I hear someone talking. 690 00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,400 I look across at my phone and see I have dialed triple zero. 691 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,600 911 equivalent in Australia. 692 00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:21,600 Triple zero huh? 693 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:22,600 You okay sir? 694 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,600 I hear moaning and screaming. 695 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:28,360 On a pixel phone there is an emergency icon right next to the power button and I'd hit 696 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,280 the other one in mistake. 697 00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:34,320 My eyes bulge out of my head like a Tom and Jerry cartoon and I fumble to turn it off 698 00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,960 while trying not to let my date see. 699 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:43,360 After sex I tell my date over pillow talk about what happens and we both start laughing. 700 00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:48,120 As those calls are recorded I imagine dispatcher calling sharing the tape with her co-workers 701 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:53,480 and having their asses up and having a laugh as they listen to me receiving a stellar blowjob. 702 00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,360 And last one for Reddit today. 703 00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,560 We have a gang gang and throwaway. 704 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:03,560 This person puts my schedule cleared up today so I decided to throw on my Christmas playlist 705 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:08,120 and make myself a proper Sunday morning breakfast ass naked of course like God intended. 706 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,720 I pop some hash browns into the air fryer whisk a few eggs. 707 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,200 I hope the naked bit has to do with the story. 708 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,200 He didn't just throw it in for just randomly. 709 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,840 Yeah he just wants you to know he's making breakfast naked. 710 00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:21,160 He wants you to know I'm butt ass naked. 711 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,320 Make a quick cup of joe take a nice long sip. 712 00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,560 It was some damn good coffee. 713 00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,480 Local roaster fair trade all that jazz. 714 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:32,240 I savored it for about three seconds before I felt some gas trying to break free. 715 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:34,920 I'm not one to hold anafart of course so I let it rip. 716 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,920 I heard a splatter on the kitchen tile. 717 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:37,920 Wow. 718 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,200 That's right Reader. 719 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:44,040 I just shat the most watery shit ever on my kitchen floor. 720 00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:47,360 There is still liquid shit dribbling out of my asshole. 721 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,560 And I felt a full on geyser about to explode. 722 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,160 So I did what anyone would do. 723 00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:57,360 I clenched my asshole tighter than a first time bottoms and hobbled all the way to the 724 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,360 nearest bathroom. 725 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:04,240 Needless to say I shat my brains out as soon as I made my ass met the toilet. 726 00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:08,520 But I still had to deal with the trail of shit splatter that I left in my wake. 727 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:12,600 Not to mention the half prepared breakfast that I shat myself making. 728 00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:13,600 Jesus. 729 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:17,960 I am ashamed to say that I did cook and eat that breakfast including the coffee. 730 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:22,200 Currently about to bleach the fuck out of my kitchen and put on some underwear. 731 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,200 Don't blame him. 732 00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:25,440 It's like now you're deciding to put on fucking underwear. 733 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,960 What the fuck do people eat when they just fucking blow ass? 734 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:28,960 I don't know. 735 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,920 I've never blown ass to that level in my life. 736 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:31,920 Just randomly? 737 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,920 Yeah just randomly sitting like what's a good cup of... 738 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:36,920 You know what I mean? 739 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:38,800 Like just sitting like hey John how you been until that... 740 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:39,800 Oh my asshole. 741 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,800 I blew up my asshole. 742 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,120 I never understood like people just blowing ass. 743 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,320 Like what the fuck happened? 744 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,440 I don't know. 745 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,440 I've never done that. 746 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:55,920 My ass is so fucking used from anal sex that it just fucking blows out. 747 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:56,920 Just randomly? 748 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,120 Like I took a sneeze and I shit myself. 749 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,320 I don't understand. 750 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,800 I really do not understand. 751 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:03,800 I don't either. 752 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:07,680 Just like random fucking dumps people have like in like the... 753 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,680 I don't know. 754 00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:14,240 Out of all the reddit that we've ever read on here, how many times have people done that? 755 00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:16,640 It's like I'm blowing ass cheeks for no reason. 756 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:18,920 I hope they're just exaggerating but... 757 00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:19,920 I don't think they are. 758 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:20,920 That was the scary part. 759 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,720 I've been able to always hold it in. 760 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:26,160 If I really had to go I could still hold it. 761 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,440 But I mean it just blows out. 762 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:32,120 As soon as you hit that toilet that's whenever it all happens. 763 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,200 Yeah that's when it finally just triggers out. 764 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:38,880 But I've never just been like fighting a boss on Dark Souls. 765 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:39,880 I lose... 766 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,920 I shit myself. 767 00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,400 Like that one that we read about that guy that was working at his desk where he was 768 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,760 gripping onto it trying to hold it in. 769 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:48,760 That's more relatable. 770 00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:55,520 Yeah he was holding that bitch like he was trying to hold the last rabbit of Titanic. 771 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,560 Like I gotta get out of here. 772 00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:01,520 It's like god no not now. 773 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:02,520 He was holding... 774 00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:03,520 He was sweating coming down. 775 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,520 He was holding that bitch in. 776 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:09,520 It felt almost like I was holding the door. 777 00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:10,520 Yeah basically. 778 00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:14,000 Like leaving a dent in those fucking desks. 779 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,480 Just gripping through it. 780 00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,480 God. 781 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,560 That I understand but just like I was just blowing it out. 782 00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:21,560 Just sat there drinking coffee. 783 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:22,560 Yeah you're just fucking yourself. 784 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:27,400 You guys are gonna need to get a better fiber diet or something. 785 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:28,400 I don't know. 786 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:29,400 My god. 787 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,760 But that's all I've got tonight. 788 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,160 Anything else to add before we head on out of here? 789 00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,520 Yeah wear some underwear. 790 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,600 For the love of god please. 791 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:43,400 If you just randomly shit yourself a lot just wear something before. 792 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,360 And make sure they're like really snug underwear that way shit don't leak out. 793 00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,600 Yeah it's weird that you guys just be shitting for no reason. 794 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,120 Or just start wearing adult diapers like. 795 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:52,680 Maybe you need some I don't know. 796 00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,960 Like just drink a cup of some good ass coffee. 797 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,160 Oh fuck I shit myself. 798 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,080 You know like what the fuck is going on? 799 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,640 I don't know what's wrong with people now. 800 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,640 Like you said. 801 00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:04,640 Maybe it is normal. 802 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:05,640 We're not. 803 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:06,640 Maybe. 804 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:07,640 It seems like everyone is just fucking shit themselves. 805 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:08,640 I don't know. 806 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,560 And they're more than happy to go online and post about it. 807 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:14,680 But okay. 808 00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:15,680 But anything else? 809 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:16,680 That's it. 810 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:17,680 Cool. 811 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:24,680 We will see you guys on the next one.