1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,720 Hello and welcome back to Reddit Insanity number 35. 2 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,720 35 baby we may. 3 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,720 No 35. 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:16,720 Get to that 100. 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,720 We're Rick and Morty 100 years. 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,080 100 years. 7 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:24,680 Alright these are some Today I Fucked Ups. 8 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,400 First is by Wonder Embarrassed One. 9 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,600 As the person puts, Today I fucked up. 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,640 I was at a work event at dinner with a big group of coworkers. 11 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:37,160 We had a few beers and I was telling them a harmless story about a coworker from the 12 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,720 office Piper who accidentally threw away my badge. 13 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:41,720 No big deal. 14 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,840 Until I got some confused looks and then someone asked, who's Piper? 15 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,320 Do you mean Perry? 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,160 I was caught off guard and replied, oh yeah Piper is her first name. 17 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:57,320 They all informed me that her first name was Perry and that I must be confused. 18 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,160 And they told me Perry the porn star. 19 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:16,160 In an attempt to stop myself from looking too stupid I tried to justify my mistake and 20 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:21,240 said, oh I apologize I must have been thinking of the famous person Piper Perry. 21 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:29,880 Everyone knows Piper Perry. 22 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:35,480 She's the famous meme where it's the little white girl and then a whole row of black 23 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,920 men look at her and that's her. 24 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,640 Everyone knows Piper Perry. 25 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:45,040 Everyone accepted this and we moved on with the conversation and I decided to do this 26 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,280 and googled it to remind myself why that name was on my mind. 27 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,200 And of course there it was. 28 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,840 The reason I confused her name is that I probably watched Piper Perry porno recently. 29 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,320 Oh man. 30 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,440 I know I'm so much subconscious. 31 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:11,560 We finished dinner and I just got back home but I haven't ready to work in the morning. 32 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,040 Everyone's gonna be clicking Piper Perry when they get to home. 33 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,040 Faux shower. 34 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,040 That is hilarious. 35 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,040 It is. 36 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:23,040 Did you tell me how popular porn is? 37 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,440 It's like oh fuck I hate porn. 38 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:32,200 You know that famous super famous one. 39 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,000 Alright next one is by Will Anderson 419. 40 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,480 Looks like the most normal Will Anderson. 41 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,720 This person puts. 42 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:45,640 She told me straight up that she couldn't function without hitting her vape constantly. 43 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:49,440 She said she even slept with it so she could hit it first thing in the morning and right 44 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:50,440 before sleeping. 45 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,520 Girl we call that an addiction. 46 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,400 I thought she was joking. 47 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,080 I should have listened. 48 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:01,080 She proceeded to hit her vape mid hookup and it was the most unattractive thing I have 49 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,080 ever seen. 50 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,080 Insta boner killer. 51 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,240 So they're just going at it. 52 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,240 And she hits the vape. 53 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,240 And she's like shhh. 54 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,240 Yes. 55 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:13,360 You know what I saw recently on X was this like heavy set Hispanic guy right? 56 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,360 Right. 57 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,720 And someone is recording him as he's recording something else. 58 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,120 Like I guess like a behind the scenes type thing. 59 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,640 And he looks over at the camera. 60 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,200 He has this big grin on his face. 61 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,400 And he goes down and he grabs his doughnut. 62 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,400 Like one of those long ones. 63 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,400 What are they called? 64 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,120 Like a Claire's or a Bear Claw or whatever. 65 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,400 And he's like eat it right? 66 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,640 And he looks down and you realize that he's recording porno. 67 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:46,960 And he puts the girls laying on her back on the couch and the dude's like kind of like 68 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,960 kneeled. 69 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:52,880 He's on his knees and just kind of like just going at it. 70 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,040 Like pretty much like so he's like vertical and she's like horizontal. 71 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,680 Like a typical like I don't know what the position name is called. 72 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,480 But it's like partial missionary. 73 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,360 And the guy brings the doughnut up down to the porn star's face and he looks at him for 74 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,280 a second and he's like ahhh. 75 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,720 And I'm like what the fuck is going on? 76 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,760 That shit has popped up twice on my feed. 77 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,240 And it's so fucking funny. 78 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,040 Because then it stops on the woman's face and she's like in shock. 79 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,720 She's like what the fuck? 80 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,840 It's so goofy though. 81 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,960 Just like the innocence of the big guy getting the doughnut right. 82 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,280 And then you realize what he's doing. 83 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,360 He's recording you know. 84 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,360 He's being recorded. 85 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,360 He's recording porno. 86 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,360 It's fucking hilarious. 87 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,360 Here's the doughnut. 88 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,640 And then he feeds the porn star guy and the porn star guy at first he looks like he's 89 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,640 offended right. 90 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:44,360 But then he realizes like he understands the bit and then he's like oh he thinks I'm a 91 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,360 big ass bite of that doughnut. 92 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,360 It's all a girl. 93 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,360 You put her on. 94 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,360 And she's all fucking freaked out by it. 95 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,640 It's fucking hilarious. 96 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,000 So yes it's almost the second time. 97 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,840 Hey man you gotta make your job fun. 98 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,640 So this girl is hitting the vape though. 99 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,640 Right. 100 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,640 That's I don't know. 101 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,640 That'd be unattractive too. 102 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,720 I'm just saying it was hilarious isn't it. 103 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,800 But that would be funny yes. 104 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,640 The doughnut one is much funnier. 105 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,320 The vape thing would be like embarrassing. 106 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,160 You're hitting it so well you think. 107 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,160 And she's like. 108 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,280 And you just go limp like aw. 109 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,280 Add on the shitty music that was playing way too loudly. 110 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,080 The constant need to stop, readjust because her hips weren't flexible. 111 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,200 And just star fishing in general. 112 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,560 Safe to say it was the worst sexual experience I've ever had. 113 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:34,200 It's a bummer because she was kind and a very funny person outside of that. 114 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,520 But man switching positions or going on your stomach and then reaching to hit the vape 115 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:42,280 during sex is peak fiend behavior. 116 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,400 Or I'm bad at sex and she was just bored. 117 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,400 That's my life. 118 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,400 Here comes Razorhead yes. 119 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,240 That would be my assumption too. 120 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,560 I'm just horrible at it. 121 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,760 She's just hit the vape. 122 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,200 Next one is by Defiant Laugh 924. 123 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,360 Also just like humanity in general, the defiant laugh. 124 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,360 Rebelling against everything. 125 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,600 I'll leave out the age since they put it in parenthesis. 126 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,600 Is it bad? 127 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 No. 128 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,600 But since you hate it. 129 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,920 Just like there's no need. 130 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,040 If it's an adultish story I'm assuming you're an adult. 131 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040 Yeah. 132 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,400 As far as it fits, I live in a dorm building that has communal bathrooms. 133 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,120 Well the college age is probably 18, 19, 20. 134 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,720 That everyone in the building uses. 135 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,640 FYI, I don't have a roommate. 136 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,640 Anyway. 137 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:28,840 I'd be blowing that fucking bathroom. 138 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,960 I would hate to do a communal bathroom. 139 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,920 I'd be blowing that toilet out. 140 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,320 They'd be like, oh what do I do? 141 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,320 I go to the bathroom. 142 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,320 You guys better scatter. 143 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,280 You're always an obnoxious fume. 144 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:42,280 Basically yeah. 145 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:46,760 When I shit, I shit. 146 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:51,280 Anyway a month or so ago, had to go to the bathroom but I didn't feel like walking into 147 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,600 the bathroom because there was not. 148 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,840 Not only was the bathroom kind of gross. 149 00:06:55,840 --> 00:07:01,040 I didn't want to leave my room to walk to it. 150 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,320 Instead I found an empty bottle and peed in it. 151 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,120 Over the next few days I peed in more bottles and there was a collection of like four pee 152 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,560 bottles on my desk in my room. 153 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,560 The fuck bro. 154 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,040 At this point in your head you have a fucking problem. 155 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,920 When I ran out of bottles I poured them out in the trash and started over and kept this 156 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:17,920 pattern going. 157 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:18,920 What do you mean in the trash? 158 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,840 What do you mean in the trash? 159 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,760 You don't put liquid in a fucking trash can? 160 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,880 Anyway a few weeks later I was studying with this girl in her lounge in her dorm building 161 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,680 and we were hitting it off pretty well. 162 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:39,000 I've never really had any romantic or sexual experience with women before because I'm usually 163 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,440 pretty awkward and not that attractive. 164 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:47,800 But I was getting a pretty strong vibe that she was into me so when we were done studying 165 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,300 I suggestively asked if we could go somewhere private and she was down. 166 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,240 So we walked up to her room. 167 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,060 She realized her roommate was asleep when we went in there so she asked to come over 168 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,320 to my place. 169 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,920 Especially since I didn't have a roommate. 170 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,480 I was about to say yes but then I remembered that there were bottles of pee sitting on 171 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:09,080 my desk and I realized I couldn't get rid of them with her there. 172 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,040 I would just be like we can but give me one. 173 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,680 I'm really embarrassed because my room is messy. 174 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:18,040 Give me one second to get it all nice and clean for you and then I have her sitting 175 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,200 outside my door you know what I mean? 176 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,200 What idiotic idea did he have? 177 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:27,840 So I made up some dumb excuse about me being tired and I said no but maybe later. 178 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:32,160 She was super bummed and asked for a few more times but I insisted that I was tired and 179 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,840 over the next few days I couldn't hang that much and now we don't talk much anymore. 180 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:36,840 Good job bro. 181 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,640 You nailed it. 182 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,640 Just so well. 183 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:45,960 You know I wish like we've been doing Reddit for like 35 episodes that one day we hear 184 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:51,520 a story right that reminds us of a former story and like it's hard to explain like you 185 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:59,520 know like the whole like interconnecting interconnectivity of like just in life. 186 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:04,920 Like we hear like a story about a couple here right that break up and all this and that 187 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,840 and then this other guy starts talking about that he saw something really he's talking 188 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,440 about the couple we heard about the last year I mean that would be awesome. 189 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,880 I'm sure it's gonna eventually happen. 190 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,160 As many stories as we've went over. 191 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,440 Like this couple's talking about how they almost ran over this one guy and this and 192 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,480 then this guy's like oh this couple almost ran me the fuck over one time. 193 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,160 That'd be fucking insane. 194 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,160 I could see up there. 195 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,160 It'd be awesome. 196 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,800 I could see it definitely happening though. 197 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,280 Next one is by a fairy bomb. 198 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:38,200 The best would be like if there's a cashier who has a bad customer right then the customer 199 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,160 says how you had a bad customer. 200 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,080 Yeah that would be fucking awesome. 201 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,400 He wanted to fucking fight me. 202 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,480 He's like I thought he just had a bad attitude. 203 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,480 I mean how hard is your job? 204 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,160 You know it was like the whole area. 205 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,640 I could definitely see up there. 206 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,480 I mean look how many we have done. 207 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,480 It's eventually gonna happen. 208 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,480 That'd be awesome. 209 00:09:55,480 --> 00:10:01,760 All right so this person puts today I was putting on makeup whenever I realized that 210 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,480 my nose looked a little funny. 211 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:08,000 Upon closer inspection I saw that my septum was severely deviated. 212 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,720 I sprang into panic mode a little bit racking my brain for ways that I could have injured 213 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,000 myself but nothing came to mind. 214 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,680 I asked my fiance about it. 215 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,660 She said she hadn't noticed. 216 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,360 But now that you mention it damn it really is deviated. 217 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:26,600 True to my hypochondriac nature I fell down the WebMD rabbit hole. 218 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,400 Deviated what it just moved? 219 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,680 Slightly just moved a little bit. 220 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,880 It just crooked? 221 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,880 Like not fully crooked but like the ureceptum on the inside. 222 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:36,880 It's an opia. 223 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:37,880 Yeah. 224 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,560 Sometimes one of my nose it puffs up for some reason like a sore. 225 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,800 It could be like a heat pump or a pimple. 226 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,800 You ever have those? 227 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,800 Those are fucking painful. 228 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,800 They're annoying as fuck too. 229 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,800 Right into your nose. 230 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,440 Because I wear sunglasses all day so I know. 231 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,440 When you sweat in the summer? 232 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,440 Yeah. 233 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,160 Trying to figure out what could have caused this to randomly happen. 234 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:02,240 And what symptoms can come with having a deviated septum. 235 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,520 Breathing trouble, sleep apnea, bad headaches etc. 236 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,600 After fixating on this for a few hours and scaring myself with the possible symptoms 237 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:14,960 I felt I was destined to develop I was finally able to rub two of my brain cells together 238 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,840 long enough to call my mom. 239 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:22,400 I asked her if I always had one and that's how I found out that I indeed have always 240 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,240 had a severely deviated septum. 241 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,240 Severely? 242 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,240 Yeah. 243 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:28,720 You never noticed? 244 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,920 As does my mom. 245 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,240 And her mom before her. 246 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,840 29 years. 247 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,160 Never noticed it on myself or her. 248 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,360 I looked back at old photos of me and it was always there. 249 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,720 The matrix just fucking lined up for everything. 250 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,920 Oh my god. 251 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:49,240 Knowing that it's been like this the whole time eases the stress quite a bit. 252 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:53,400 I figured if I've been breathing okay this long I'll probably continue to do so for 253 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,840 the foreseeable future. 254 00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,740 Mostly I'm just boggled that I had no idea and it never came up once in a conversation 255 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:04,800 because I tell you it's deviated as all hell. 256 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,960 One of those things I guess you can't unsee. 257 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:07,960 Yeah. 258 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,960 Like once you notice it. 259 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,880 Like when you notice something and you're like has that lamp always been there? 260 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,600 Yeah it's always been there right? 261 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,440 The one that your brain just like... 262 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,440 Hasn't been there? 263 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,640 Yeah you're like wait a minute. 264 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:22,640 It's just one of those things. 265 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,480 Especially if you've seen yourself your whole life on the mirror right? 266 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,480 You don't notice. 267 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,520 And then something just clicked in her head and it's like wait a minute what's wrong with 268 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,520 my nose? 269 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,520 Oh it's fucked up. 270 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,920 It's been fucked up forever apparently. 271 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,840 Next one is by Seripidis Zephyr. 272 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:40,840 Seripidis? 273 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:41,840 Yes. 274 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:47,760 First and first my boyfriend has mentioned he likes dirty talk and while I'm no pro I've 275 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,320 learned a thing or two from reading Smut. 276 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,000 I will hear you in concert piece of shit. 277 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000 I want you to wash these dishes. 278 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,280 You never do anything around this house. 279 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,400 She goes into like all the stuff he never does. 280 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,400 Oh exactly. 281 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,400 Look it. 282 00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,400 I have nothing to do with it. 283 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,400 I mean with actual erotica. 284 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,400 Yeah. 285 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,400 Let's see. 286 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:09,800 Whenever I started I was a bit rough at it but I think I've gotten better over time until 287 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,800 last night. 288 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,760 Back at square one. 289 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,480 She ended up at back at square one yes. 290 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,160 Well we were getting intimate. 291 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,440 I was whispering in his ear and saying some pretty intense stuff. 292 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,080 He seemed super into it. 293 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,080 I got too cocky. 294 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,120 They just started saying whatever came to my mind. 295 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:36,400 Which is a bad move as you know that that bitch can't be trusted. 296 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:42,640 I had just finished saying something some new additions to my dirty talk arsenal and 297 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:50,040 seeing as he enjoyed it decided to go off script and said you can fuck me and you can 298 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,960 fuck me in any hole. 299 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,840 Mouth ass pee. 300 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,560 Call me Jesus Christ because I'm holy. 301 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:09,800 It's a very. 302 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,240 He started laughing so hard they lost his erection. 303 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,640 You lose a wretch of laughter. 304 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,720 I kind of felt bad because I already got my oh but he did not. 305 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,560 However I started laughing too because it was just so ridiculous. 306 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,360 We had a nice laugh so I wouldn't want sleep. 307 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,000 I'll try again later and I'll limit myself to a list. 308 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,160 No deviating from the smut list no more. 309 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,680 I would highly recommend that. 310 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:37,200 Do not deviate from your pre pre scripted stuff pre scripted stuff. 311 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,760 Don't let your illusory will fair you good at ad libic. 312 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,400 Yes if you're not good at it and you know you can't do it. 313 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,280 You can't do improv don't try improv. 314 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,280 Do not try it. 315 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,480 That'd be the smart move. 316 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,000 Next one is by Web alarming four seven five nine. 317 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,720 This person puts I was sitting in my car and noticed a button with a cigarette. 318 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,680 I got curious if it actually worked. 319 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,480 I pushed on the button and noticed it wouldn't unpress. 320 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:06,040 I unscrewed it and touched the bottom of it to try to push it back up and I and it was 321 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,880 equivalent to touching a stove. 322 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:13,680 Shit I said fuck and throw away and throw it away as my reaction. 323 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,160 I immediately smelled burn skin. 324 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,280 It was awful. 325 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:23,440 The car is a 2018 BMW X5 so I thought that they had gotten away with it gotten rid of 326 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,880 real cigarette lighters a while ago. 327 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,920 My damn ass literally touched it in the last place you're supposed to. 328 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,040 I now have a really bad burn on my finger that is yellow. 329 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,040 This is the sun. 330 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,560 This is something that kids do and I'm 21. 331 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:41,400 Anyway if anyone has some tips on how to treat this type of burn please let me know. 332 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:46,480 Yeah the anti burn cream you get in the first aid. 333 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,720 Yeah if it's that bad go to the hospital. 334 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,720 That's one of those things like whenever you were a kid. 335 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,000 What degree are we talking about here? 336 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,920 Yellow skin what like first degree maybe? 337 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:57,920 Maybe. 338 00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:58,920 Or is that the worst? 339 00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,920 No the first degree is the worst. 340 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:00,920 Okay so like third degree. 341 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:01,920 I think. 342 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,920 What's degrees actually? 343 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:03,920 How many are there? 344 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:04,920 There's three. 345 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,920 Just three? 346 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:06,920 Yeah it's just three. 347 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,920 It's probably just third degree burn. 348 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:15,760 I've got third degree burn from fucking having a pizza land on my hand after out of the 349 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:16,760 microwave. 350 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,880 I mean that shit fucking burned because all the melted cheese landed all over my top of 351 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,880 my hand. 352 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,520 I was like oh god daddy. 353 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:29,720 Yeah because I know I can't remember if the degrees go forward or backwards like on intensity. 354 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,720 Right. 355 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,160 I can't remember if first degree is the worst or like the least. 356 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,160 The least. 357 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:40,520 Because I know that the worst it goes through all the way can go all the way to bone. 358 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,640 My guess is just a surface level burn. 359 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,520 The bandages still fucking hurt. 360 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,360 Well because you haven't burned off the nerves so of course they hurt. 361 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,840 The other degrees they burn through your nerves so you don't feel them. 362 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,840 Jesus. 363 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,840 Where they're painless. 364 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,840 That sounds even worse. 365 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:04,040 Next one is by Tyndwing. 366 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:11,960 This person puts, I'm an avid model builder and hobbyist and as such my young four year 367 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:17,200 old enjoys watching me build and paint models. 368 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,020 He has recently been a lot more interested in helping me out. 369 00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:24,360 This morning I was building a model while lazily sitting on the couch with my son next 370 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,360 to me. 371 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:29,440 He pipes up and asks if he can help assemble a model by putting some glue on it. 372 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,440 No worries I thought. 373 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,940 I can help guide his hand to where he needs to go. 374 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:39,160 The glue I use is very thin and almost like water and it was sitting on top of the model 375 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,280 instructions on my leg. 376 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,500 Dumb idea. 377 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:46,680 The glue is applied with an applicator brush that is attached to the lid of the glue so 378 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,280 I handed it to my son and showed him where to apply it to the model. 379 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:55,120 Suddenly my son has shifted his whole body weight to get a better position and has knocked 380 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:59,360 the almost entirely full bottle of glue straight onto my crotch area. 381 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,440 Emptying it entirely in a fraction of a second. 382 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,480 It was a no I was annoyed but accidents happen. 383 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,400 I still beat the shit out of him. 384 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,240 I thought it would be no big deal as the glue evaporates very quickly. 385 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:22,280 Well, uncle's urn of magic just starts swinging up and I fucked up that one. 386 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:27,240 Well it also burns the fuck out of your skin very quickly when your undies are soaked in 387 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,240 stuff. 388 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240 Ouch. 389 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,360 Almost immediately fell my nuts on fire. 390 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:36,680 I jumped up onto the couch and started trying to rip my jeans off and legged it into the 391 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,360 shower to rinse my now red balls. 392 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,360 Damn. 393 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:47,200 I'm currently nursing some painfully mild I think chemical burns on my balls while writing 394 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,200 this post. 395 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,160 Finger crossed it's not that bad. 396 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,160 So he doesn't even know how it's going to end yet. 397 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,160 Damn. 398 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,560 He didn't even know how beat up his son was. 399 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,560 He fucked that kid up. 400 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,560 You little bastard. 401 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,760 Last one is by Cookie Monstrosity 54. 402 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,960 Without cookies I'm just a monster. 403 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960 A monstrosity. 404 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,840 This person fits. 405 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,840 So I want to preface this by saying I'm probably one of the most unserious people and that 406 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:24,560 this garnered and lost me a lot of friendships over the last few years. 407 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,640 Son of a cousin. 408 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,000 But I am a very good and loyal friend. 409 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:35,000 So when my oldest friend was having a mental breakdown over some family issues and Face 410 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:40,280 Timed me crying I immediately drove to her parents house where she was staying at the 411 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,280 time. 412 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:47,080 After an hour or two of having a good but heavy conversation about what was going on 413 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,160 in her life I excused myself to use the restroom. 414 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:55,120 I haven't been to her parents house in years so whenever I walked in everything was new 415 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,760 and remodeled and different including the bathroom. 416 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,800 I never really snooped around in people's bathrooms or anything but something caught 417 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,520 my eye as I was finishing up. 418 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,760 Hanging in the shower was a short dagger hanging from a rope around the head of the shower 419 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,960 head. 420 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:14,920 Naturally my dumbass brain goes to the reddit file compartmentalized deep in the psyche 421 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,600 and I immediately whisper to myself excitedly. 422 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,160 Poop knife. 423 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,760 Poop knife. 424 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,760 Yeah I'll explain that after. 425 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:28,800 So I pull out my pants and wash my hands and run to the living room where my best friend 426 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,800 is and I ask her if that's a poop knife in her bathroom. 427 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,360 A poop what? 428 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,760 She asks naturally like a normal sane person. 429 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,440 So I explain the lore behind the poop knife. 430 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:47,480 This is the lore of the poop knife. 431 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,480 The lore is this person it's a different reddit post right. 432 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:56,520 And the other redditor that posted this is they put it that my family poops big. 433 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,720 Maybe it's genetic. 434 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,760 Maybe it's our diet. 435 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,800 That everyone births giant logs of crap. 436 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:03,800 If anyone has. 437 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,800 Wait. 438 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,440 This is to break up the shit in the toilet so it can flush. 439 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,440 Yeah. 440 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,440 Yeah. 441 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,440 So if anyone has. 442 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,120 This is fucking Christ. 443 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,120 That's a real thing. 444 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:19,380 I thought like every once in a while some shit's so big you just gotta find a way to break 445 00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:20,380 it up. 446 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,000 You get like I don't know. 447 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Plunger? 448 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Yeah something. 449 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,600 Then you gotta clean the plunger. 450 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,840 But an actual knife to clean to break down your poop? 451 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,840 Well continuous. 452 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:34,040 If anyone has laid a mega poop you know that sometimes it won't flush. 453 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,800 It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl in the vortex so draining water merely 454 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,240 gives it a good spin as it. 455 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,240 Believe me yeah. 456 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,520 Growing up this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. 457 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,820 It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on the nail in the laundry room only to be 458 00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:52,000 used for that purpose. 459 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:57,080 It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call up. 460 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,160 Hey can you give me the poop knife? 461 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,240 I thought it was standard kit. 462 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,920 You have your plunger, your toilet brush and your poop knife. 463 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,960 Fast forward to 22. 464 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,840 It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at a friend's house. 465 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,800 My friend was the local dealer and always had guests over because you can't buy weed 466 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,160 without sitting your ass and sampling it for an hour. 467 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,120 I excused myself and laid a gigantic turd. 468 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,760 I looked down and see that it's sideways one. 469 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,800 So I cracked the door and call out to my friend. 470 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,920 He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. 471 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:31,920 My what? 472 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,920 Your poop knife I say. 473 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,600 I need to use it please. 474 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,400 The fuck is a poop knife? 475 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,780 Obviously he has one. 476 00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:42,880 But maybe he calls it a more delicate name. 477 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,840 A fecal cleaver, a dung divider, a guano wave. 478 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,000 I explained what I want and why I want it. 479 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,280 He starts giggling and then laughing. 480 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,040 Then lots of people start laughing. 481 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,040 It turns out the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas to the door. 482 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,160 It also turns out that none of them had poop knives. 483 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,320 It was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. 484 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,320 Fuck my life. 485 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,880 They just fucking drop in tanks in the fucking toilet? 486 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:13,680 You might have those every once in a lifetime but every time. 487 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:14,680 Not every time though. 488 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,680 Fucking Jesus. 489 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:20,280 I told this to my wife last night who was amused and horrified at the same time. 490 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,960 It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and she had been using the 491 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:29,040 old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet for basic utility knives. 492 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,040 Like purposes. 493 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:36,320 Thankfully she didn't cook with it but used it to open Amazon boxes and stuff like that. 494 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,960 She will be getting her own utility knife now. 495 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,440 So now we go back to the former story. 496 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,720 You might want to buy her knife. 497 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,720 The poop what? 498 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,000 She asks naturally like a normal sane person. 499 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,040 So I explain her this poop story. 500 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,000 She just stares in the life at me and says that it's not a poop knife. 501 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000 It's a kerpan. 502 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,320 Her dad usually wears one every day but the one in the shower is for whenever you take 503 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,200 your personal one off so you don't mess it up. 504 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,200 Because he's a Sikh. 505 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,640 One of those religious people. 506 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,720 And they have those swords around their collars. 507 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,720 Almost like a cross but it's a sword or dagger. 508 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,720 That's cool. 509 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:14,720 Let's do it. 510 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:21,200 I felt myself turn 30 shades of red and I apologize profusely for being a dumbass and 511 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,720 basically insulting her religion as a Sikh. 512 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,040 He must have been so excited that the poop knife is real. 513 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,760 That they found a poop knife. 514 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,920 There's too many people by the way in the world. 515 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,320 That one family would be the only one that had a poop knife by the way. 516 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,320 Oh I'm sure there's more. 517 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,760 I'm sure there's a whole group of families all over the world. 518 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,800 That also had some form of like there's a poop stick. 519 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,880 Put like outside the house you gotta go grab or some random shit like that. 520 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,920 Now there's one fucked up person. 521 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,480 There's a bunch. 522 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,160 She laughed really hard and said it was fine and I hugged her and told her I promised to 523 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,960 tone down my stupidity from now on. 524 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,720 Because she thought it was a poop knife. 525 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,560 I mean I guess like when you only hang her from the shower though. 526 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,160 Well you only have one frame of reference for something right? 527 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,280 And you see that something fits the requisite of your understanding. 528 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,480 You would just assume that what it is what it is. 529 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,560 She saw a knife in the bathroom. 530 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,880 The only time she's ever thought of a knife in a bathroom was because of a story about 531 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:25,880 a poop knife. 532 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,200 So she just, Occam's right. 533 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,840 Occam razored it. 534 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:35,480 The easiest answer was the solution. 535 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,240 But no it was a religious item not a poop knife. 536 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,480 The more you know. 537 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,760 That's why you should never jump to a conclusion. 538 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,800 No you should always study the evidence first. 539 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:52,000 And don't ever trust anything that you see on reddit. 540 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000 Poop knife. 541 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000 A poop knife. 542 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 You mind being at that dealer's house. 543 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,800 He's like a poop knife. 544 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:03,800 I got a big old shit bag here. 545 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,400 This thing must look fucking disgusting by the way. 546 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,120 Just caked from all kinds of fucking shit. 547 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,640 Is that even the same color anymore? 548 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,080 No it's dulled away. 549 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,080 Oh god. 550 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,280 You think they wash it and clean it or they just let it dry? 551 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,680 Well he said that it was a rusty one. 552 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,160 There you go. 553 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,200 He's cut the shit. 554 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,120 Cut the shit and put it back. 555 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:33,880 And then he's not in common for his family to call for it in the hole? 556 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:34,880 Yeah. 557 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,760 He got the poop knife. 558 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,480 How big of a massive shit are these people taking? 559 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,360 I've had one that uh. 560 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:44,360 From like. 561 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:45,720 They're like bam. 562 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,200 I've had one that was like. 563 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,520 Like three months worth of shit or something. 564 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,240 And it just blew out of me. 565 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,240 Cause I got sick once. 566 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,960 And I couldn't go to the bathroom for like two months straight. 567 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,680 And I got a blockage in my system so I had to use one of those fucking enemas to blow 568 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:06,680 it out. 569 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,520 And when I hit that bathroom that shit looked like a fucking anaconda. 570 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,800 Like it rolled all the way to the rim of the toilet. 571 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:15,920 There was so much shit. 572 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:20,800 I think I broke the entire neighborhoods sewage system. 573 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:26,440 I'm dead serious cause we had sewage problems from years after that. 574 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,440 We've asked neighbors. 575 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,440 Like they were like. 576 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,440 All of a sudden we have all these sewage systems. 577 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,520 I swear to god. 578 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:36,120 I think I blew out the fucking sewage system. 579 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:40,680 And they finally finally fixed it recently. 580 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,400 We had to replace the toilet by the way. 581 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,520 Cause I broke it. 582 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:44,520 I'm dead serious. 583 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,520 That's how bad. 584 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,520 That's how much shit there was. 585 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,800 Literally shit. 586 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,800 Like like. 587 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,600 I mean I've never seen so much shit from a human being in my life. 588 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,600 It's like the length of my leg in a roll. 589 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:02,600 It was like. 590 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,800 It was two months worth of shit. 591 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,120 And I was finally able to shit after all that medication and hospital visits. 592 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:11,160 I was like BAM. 593 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:12,960 And you know the craziest thing was. 594 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,680 You see it? 595 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:15,880 That was yeah. 596 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:16,880 Like it was like. 597 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,720 And it was like gone. 598 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,760 Like an entire fucking roll of shit came out in like 30 seconds. 599 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,120 Even no like 10 seconds. 600 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,960 Like you know I didn't even feel it come out. 601 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:27,960 Like I was like. 602 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,280 And that was it. 603 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,800 Like one quick grunt. 604 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,960 Like a baby dropping out of a vagina just gone. 605 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,800 Which reminds me of your. 606 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,680 I've seen that thing going around where it's. 607 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,600 What hurts worse pregnancy or getting hit in the balls. 608 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,720 Don't they say get hit in the balls. 609 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,200 Because you don't want to do it happen again. 610 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,200 Exactly. 611 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,680 Where you always hear a woman say I want another kid. 612 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,160 She's like I will never want to get hit in the balls again. 613 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,160 Exactly. 614 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,640 There's some freaks out there though. 615 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,200 You ever seen the movie Mope? 616 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,200 No. 617 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,000 I had no. 618 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,880 You should check it. 619 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,360 It is truly a dark glimpse at human nature. 620 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,960 Why you laugh diabolically? 621 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:08,960 No. 622 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,320 It is a general light hearted giggle. 623 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,320 Sure. 624 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:18,960 Like redoing a killer. 625 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,040 Anyway that's it for shit. 626 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,040 Cool. 627 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,360 No more personal stories. 628 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,920 By the way I'm sorry if you know what I'm talking. 629 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,680 If you're like the one that's at our house. 630 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,440 Yes I did blow out the fucking sewage system. 631 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,440 My bad. 632 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,440 Sorry. 633 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,440 Hey man a man's got to shit. 634 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,960 With that we will talk to you guys on the next one. 635 00:29:40,960 --> 00:30:02,880 I blew that bitch out.