1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,080 Hello and welcome to Reddit Insanity number 34. 2 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,560 34 baby! 3 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,240 Alright, we start off with NoPie420. 4 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:23,760 NoPie420, I don't know what the fuck that means. 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,920 This person puts, a couple of days ago I had a grumpy old man come through my line. 6 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,800 I ring up his item and he goes to go pay with his debit card. 7 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,200 He puts the card into the machine and the chip malfunctions. 8 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,880 The pen pad tells him to remove it. 9 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,200 Insert card, remove card, which one is it? 10 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,000 He asks me. 11 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000 What does it say on your end? 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 I ask. 13 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 Insert. 14 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,400 Then you'll want to insert it. 15 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,800 Card error sounds, oh fuck. 16 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,800 Says to remove it. 17 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,160 Nah, it's not working, go ahead and take it out. 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,640 The old guy grumbles, something under his breath. 19 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,760 Does your card have a tap function? 20 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,760 I ask. 21 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,600 The old guy raises his voice at me. 22 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,600 I don't know. 23 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,200 He shows the card to me. 24 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,680 Here's the card since you're the genius here. 25 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,680 What is it Johnny Knox? 26 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,640 Old man, I take the card from him, irritated. 27 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,640 I look for the tap symbol, it has him. 28 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,800 And hold it to the corner of the pen pad. 29 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:22,800 It goes through successfully. 30 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,800 Ta da! 31 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,800 I explain. 32 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,920 I'm shoving the card back to him, he looks embarrassed. 33 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,640 Please learn to use your cards folks. 34 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,440 It really isn't that difficult. 35 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,240 And if you're going to choose to remain ignorant, don't take it out on somebody who's just doing 36 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,240 their job. 37 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,240 Ignorant. 38 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,240 Yeah, so ignorant, ignorant. 39 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,240 You're so ignorant. 40 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:47,240 I've never been able to say it the same ever since. 41 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,240 Ignorant. 42 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,880 Don't be so ignorant. 43 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,040 Moving on, we have Effective Phase 5012. 44 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,680 Cool, these names make no sense, but I'm sure you enjoy them. 45 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,280 Yeah, they really don't make a lot of sense, but sure. 46 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,760 This person books. 47 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,880 My store does not give the option to back stock the merchandise we carry. 48 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,680 I work for a discount store that is technically low volume, but we receive high volume quantities 49 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:13,680 per day. 50 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,680 Pause it. 51 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:15,680 Pause it. 52 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:16,680 Pause it. 53 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:21,120 This fourth quarter, we receive between two to three trucks per day now. 54 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,120 Jesus fucking Christ. 55 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,120 What are you, working a warehouse? 56 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,120 Please don't tell me a store. 57 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:32,240 I do not recall the last time we received this much in a week. 58 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,600 It's double of what we received last October-November. 59 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:40,680 The stock room is full of pallets and our carts, rails, totes, etc. are full of new 60 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,840 merchandise. 61 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,480 Every department is quickly running out of empty space. 62 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:49,000 We are consistently busy, but not enough to make a dent in our departments. 63 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Are. 64 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,720 I am in different departments per shift. 65 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,560 The houseware area gives me the most anxiety. 66 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,640 I am nervous when stacking anything seeing how many shelves are beginning to bend. 67 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:02,960 Oh fuck, he's like legit just moving them up there. 68 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:07,120 The candle section alone is a liability lawsuit waiting to happen. 69 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:12,680 I think I piss off my leads and managers whenever I mention it to them. 70 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,960 They just laugh and tell me it's fine. 71 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,980 Customers complain about the mess. 72 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:21,840 People drop stuff or knock things off because they bumped into someone or something to get 73 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:22,840 around the chaos. 74 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,240 In return, we're told to make it pretty and shoppable. 75 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,800 This sounds like an impossibility. 76 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,240 You can't keep a store clean while also having an endless amount of customers every single 77 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,240 day. 78 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,400 It's like it's truly an impossible battle to win. 79 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,600 Yes it is. 80 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,580 I do my best to the options I have. 81 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:44,280 I guess that was like Batman trying to fight crime. 82 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,480 It's never ending, it never ends. 83 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,200 I'm getting slower. 84 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,320 My reflexes are dulling. 85 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,320 But crime never stops. 86 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,320 Neither will I. 87 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,320 My knees are blown out. 88 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,320 My feet are blown out from jumping off a building. 89 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:04,560 I should have thought of a better way to do that actually. 90 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,680 I guess that with all my previous retail jobs in big box stores, I'm still accustomed to 91 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,400 having larger space and everything having a designated spot. 92 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,960 When you ran out of room, it went to the back. 93 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,560 Now it all just feels wrong. 94 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,560 I wear a diaper now. 95 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,560 I can't stop. 96 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,040 I gotta shit and piss while I'm fighting crime. 97 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:25,000 I step in my car. 98 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,920 Alrighty I'm your fucked up Batman. 99 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,080 I sit here and I piss in my car. 100 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,560 What is a colossal bag? 101 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,560 Yeah. 102 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,560 Oh god. 103 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,520 The fucking Batman books are full of fucking wrappings of Twinkies. 104 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:45,240 Fucking energy drapes, a monster in a Twinkie keeps a man awake at night. 105 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,640 It's my Batman. 106 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,960 I'll never forget there's one comic with Batman, whatever they're chasing down. 107 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,960 Asriel. 108 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:56,200 Where I, what was it, Alfred gives him a bowl of, what is that? 109 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,200 By oatmeal. 110 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,200 Man, I love eating oatmeal. 111 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,200 Despacho. 112 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,200 Despacho? 113 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,200 That old pea soup? 114 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,200 Have you handed him to him? 115 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,200 I hate that shit. 116 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,800 Well he got Bruce, he's like, it's cold. 117 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,200 He's like, it's supposed to be cold sir. 118 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,200 It's despacho. 119 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,200 Like Batman just crashes in the crock of his head. 120 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,200 I want it, I want it. 121 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,200 I said why am I cold, sir? 122 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:23,080 Well they were in the winter area so he's like, it's fucking cold. 123 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,820 Next one is by Prince of Veneer. 124 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,840 This one I actually left the title of. 125 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:33,440 So this person puts, a customer followed me into the goddamn bathroom. 126 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,440 What the fuck? 127 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:40,040 She asked me her questions about products that I threw up, while I threw up, low blood 128 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,040 sugar and stress. 129 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,040 Fuck you lady. 130 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,040 Update. 131 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,600 So we are now staying late because a customer forced her way past the shut doors and used 132 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,560 a self checkout after we closed. 133 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,560 Fuck you too lady. 134 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,560 You can say salant? 135 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,560 Apparently. 136 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,560 Fuck. 137 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,560 I figured they would have closed them out. 138 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,360 Yeah, like I thought they shut down at a certain time. 139 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,360 Wait she all ripped through the fucking, god dang. 140 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,360 They apparently were locked. 141 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,360 They were just closed. 142 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,920 She's like, ahhh. 143 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,360 She will make her way in. 144 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,040 Next one is by Wreck. 145 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,040 WR. 146 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,600 Wreck it Ralph, I'm gonna wreck it. 147 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,440 This person puts, I work in a smoke shop. 148 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,440 We sell filters. 149 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,960 Do you think a girl has ever had a fantasy with Wreck it Ralph so she dressed up her 150 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:29,200 boyfriend and she's just laying there and he's like, I'm gonna wreck it. 151 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,040 I didn't ruin Wreck it Ralph for myself. 152 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,160 That's a given though. 153 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,680 I guarantee you that's happened. 154 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,080 You know, you know the human centipede in the movie? 155 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,840 Where they sew buttholes to their mouths? 156 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,840 Is there a porno? 157 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,160 What are you talking about? 158 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,160 No I will not. 159 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,840 I'm just really curious if there's a porno, a human centipede. 160 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,840 I'm sure there is. 161 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,560 Where like it's not only they don't even have to sew their mouths to right over, it's just 162 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,120 like a daisy chain. 163 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,160 Like an estimated mass of like 18 women. 164 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,600 Oh my god, oh that is a bad mental picture. 165 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:03,600 I ruined everything. 166 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,600 I ruined everything. 167 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:05,600 Yes you do. 168 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:06,760 With that, yes. 169 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:12,280 I ruined an episode of that's gonna be coming out at the end of this week for you. 170 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,520 So yeah. 171 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,080 So this person puts, I work in a smoke shop. 172 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,080 We sell filters. 173 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,160 I asked the customer what filter he wants. 174 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,960 He says the orange ones. 175 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:28,040 I asked him to specify which one exactly and he says the ones that are orange. 176 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,040 He's kidding. 177 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:33,880 He says anyone I hate that fucking question. 178 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,880 Does it matter? 179 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,080 I tell him that the prices are different. 180 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,600 Customer pays in leaps. 181 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,600 Guess what? 182 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:44,400 It takes less effort to give a normal fucking response to a normal fucking question than 183 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,400 to be a prick about it. 184 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,000 Do you understand how little brain capacity they actually have? 185 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,480 If they have very little I know. 186 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,000 Believe me I know. 187 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,200 They can't breathe and talk to us and blink at the same time without passing out. 188 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,000 No not at all. 189 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,640 Next one is by dead on arrival 0088. 190 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,640 Jesus. 191 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:08,640 This person puts, I am 16 but you will get mistaken for 18 to 20. 192 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,360 Customer in question was probably in his 40s. 193 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,360 He came into my lane. 194 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,880 I was waiting for him to get closer so I could greet him and he started rattling off his 195 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,760 phone number so I just entered it and started ringing his shit up without saying anything. 196 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:25,880 I usually don't have any reaction to this but in the end of my shift and I was so tired 197 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:30,940 so I was acting a little huffy and he could tell I was getting irritated. 198 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:34,240 He got up to the register, picked up his groceries I had bagged. 199 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:38,100 I put a bag of cookies and some vegetables because I didn't want to have to bag with 200 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,100 only one item. 201 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,200 Or have a bag with only one item. 202 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,400 He took it out and said like items with each other. 203 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,400 LMAO. 204 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,520 Guy started staring at me in the LMAO. 205 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,520 He said that out loud? 206 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:52,520 He said LMAO. 207 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,360 No this is what they put. 208 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,880 No this is after the quotation marks. 209 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:03,440 Guy started staring at me in the eye and said do you have an attitude with me? 210 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,040 Because that's what I'm sensing. 211 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,120 I said what happens if I do? 212 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,760 I didn't know you were saying. 213 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,760 He was taking it back and said huh? 214 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,320 He could say I repeated myself. 215 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,120 By now he's been wide eyed staring at me the entire time. 216 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,640 He told me I'll go talk to your manager about it. 217 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,640 I said go ahead. 218 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,340 I haven't said or done anything to you. 219 00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:28,240 He got finished paying and started walking off towards service desks staring at me the 220 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,560 entire time in a way that was clearly challenging. 221 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:36,080 I haven't broken the eye contact either. 222 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,080 I don't care about this job. 223 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,440 Hell I'm still staring at him right now while I'm typing this. 224 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:44,240 If he decided he wanted to do something we could get it on. 225 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,240 You can't get it on? 226 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,240 You're going to start fucking? 227 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,680 You gotta be careful with your terminology there. 228 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:50,680 Yes yes. 229 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,680 Nothing came of it. 230 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,000 I just thought it was a crazy idea. 231 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,680 They fucked and nothing came. 232 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,680 Nobody came after it. 233 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,680 Like damn it. 234 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,440 I would have just rang up his shit and probably told him to have a good night if he didn't 235 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,960 start acting like I was his servant and I had to respect him. 236 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:06,960 What a fucking idiot. 237 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:07,960 You're not that guy pal. 238 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,960 You're not that guy. 239 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:09,960 No you're not. 240 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:10,960 You're not that easy. 241 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,960 That was the thing I was trying to do. 242 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,960 Yeah. 243 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,960 And then the little guy said like what if I do have a problem with you. 244 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,960 He's like oh fuck. 245 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:17,960 He's like oh no. 246 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:18,960 What do I do? 247 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,960 Next one is by UnfairFace6411. 248 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,960 This guy looks like a troll. 249 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:24,960 If he's an UnfairFace. 250 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:25,960 Look at the face. 251 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:26,960 God damn it. 252 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,960 Not face. 253 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,960 Face. 254 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:29,960 Oh UnfairFace? 255 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:30,960 Yeah. 256 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:31,960 UnfairFace? 257 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,960 Fuck. 258 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,960 What face are you going through? 259 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,960 Is it the Godface? 260 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:37,960 Probably. 261 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,960 First and put it's kind of rude to do I know. 262 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,960 But it's always frustrating to me when you look like you're leaving for the day. 263 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,960 Carrying lunch pail, coffee mug, jackets on, keys in hand, etc. 264 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,960 And a customer decides to stop me as I'm walking out. 265 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,960 It's almost always never a quick question either. 266 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,960 Most of the time people will think it was complicated. 267 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:57,960 Fuck you. 268 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:58,960 You could never ask you. 269 00:10:58,960 --> 00:10:59,960 Yup. 270 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,960 Like I was in here three years ago and I saw these little delicate elves for Christmas. 271 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:04,960 Yup. 272 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,960 And I was at this other store on the south side but I didn't get them then. 273 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,960 Do you guys have them now? 274 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:09,960 These little elves. 275 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,960 I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? 276 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:18,960 It's almost never a quick question either. 277 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,960 Most of the time people will either ask where everything is, ask a million more questions 278 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,960 about something else, I'm pretty ass. 279 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,960 Complain about everything or try to catalyze chat with you for funsies. 280 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:29,960 Funsies. 281 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,960 I've gotten really fed up with having my time wasted and people liking common sense. 282 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,960 So we're just starting to just ignoring customers whenever I'm leaving for the day. 283 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,960 Can't do that. 284 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:38,960 Don't get me wrong. 285 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,960 I absolutely will help customers out with everything whenever I'm on the clock. 286 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,960 But once I'm done for the day I just want to get out of the, get the fuck out of the 287 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:46,960 store and go home. 288 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,960 Once I'm punched out, I'm done. 289 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960 I don't blame the dude. 290 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,960 Don't blame the dude at all for that one. 291 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:54,960 Or a woman, whatever. 292 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:55,960 But don't blame him. 293 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,960 I'm the same way. 294 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,960 Because people always ask some of the dumb shit. 295 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,960 Next one is by bornbake3582. 296 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,960 It's a person puts. 297 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,960 At my work we allow dogs. 298 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,960 A group of high schoolers came in and they had a little dog with them. 299 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,960 I was watching them because they were messing around making a mess of things. 300 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,960 All of a sudden I see on the floor brown spots. 301 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:25,960 I take a closer look and the dog has shit on the floor. 302 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:26,960 Shit! 303 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,960 Nothing came up to me or my co-worker saying that the dog had pooped. 304 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960 No, no sorry or anything. 305 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:37,960 I went up to them and I was like, um, your dog, uh, you got, uh, I was like, um, guys, 306 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960 your dog pooped on the floor. 307 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960 So you guys want a bag? 308 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,960 They all just stared at me and one of them said, oh, the girl who had the dog took it 309 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,960 outside but didn't clean out. 310 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,960 So I had to clean up dog shit. 311 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,960 Once I took a closer look, the dog had stepped in the shit and there were brown footprints 312 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,960 trailing from the small spot all the way through the front door. 313 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 Damn. 314 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,960 When they left, no one said sorry or anything. 315 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,960 All was just walking out laughing. 316 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,960 I don't get paid enough for this shit. 317 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,960 I mean, you cleaned up the vomit. 318 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,960 Yeah, but you know, maybe I struck them right. 319 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:18,960 Man, the next one is by Maggie Noah. 320 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,960 For what? 321 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,960 Maggie Noah. 322 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:22,960 Huh? 323 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,960 N-A-G-I and then N-A-O-E. 324 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:28,960 Wow. 325 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960 Is this an attack on me? 326 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,960 Maggie Noah. 327 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,960 This first one is close. 328 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,960 Last night I was working at 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. 329 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,960 Around 9 p.m., the Star of Entitlement came in. 330 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:44,960 The Star of Entitlement? 331 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960 Oh no. 332 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,960 He thought I was a male customer who comes in. 333 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,960 He hates me. 334 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:54,960 He has made fun of me being short and laughs if I need a stuff store. 335 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,960 I wonder if I wrote this. 336 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:13,960 No, because no one...if it was like verbal jousting, I am truly...if I'm on my game, I am unstoppable. 337 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,960 That's why I never got bullied in school because they know I would hit him back just as hard. 338 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,960 Oh, you know how it works. 339 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:19,960 I know. 340 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,960 I'd say something mean as shit. 341 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,960 That's usually what an evil motherfucker like to do. 342 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,960 So tonight he made it hard to see his ID. 343 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,960 Then he said...then I said I have to see it. 344 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:33,960 He threw it at me. 345 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,960 I decided I had had enough and said, we are done. 346 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960 I am not doing this. 347 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,960 His response, fuck you, you fat ugly troll. 348 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,960 God dang, this is me. 349 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:50,960 He smashes his ID while three local customers who have come in for their cigarettes and such defended me. 350 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:55,960 Entitled customer came in with an attitude that I don't need to be insulted. 351 00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:01,960 I know I'm short and also I was nothing but nice to him from the start. 352 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,960 I sincerely hope his daughter is short like myself so he knows his words can hurt her too. 353 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,960 He comes in after work and he is fine with having a rough day. 354 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,960 But why take it out on me? 355 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:13,960 Don't be such a bitch, bro. 356 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:14,960 Yeah? 357 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:15,960 Tell that motherfucker how it is. 358 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:16,960 Yeah. 359 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,960 Look at you entitled sack of shit. 360 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,960 He called you a fucking fat ugly troll? 361 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,960 I know. 362 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:23,960 I would have tore that motherfucker apart. 363 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:28,960 I'm like, let me just fight the fucking hell with this Shakespeare. 364 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,960 Fuck, I'm gonna tear Rose to pieces and he walks out. 365 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,960 Next one is by RainbowBean5678. 366 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:44,960 First and first, the amount of times I have gone shopping at Walmart or some other store while I was still in retail mode is just bonkers to me. 367 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:52,960 I'll be walking around with my shopping cart expecting random people to ask me for something or for help for something only to realize I'm fine and not at work. 368 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,960 And I'm like, I'm fucking panicking. 369 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,960 It's me. 370 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:56,960 It's me. 371 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:57,960 I see a customer. 372 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:05,960 I've almost reached out and said, hey, can I help you find anything before I realized I'm at a completely different store on a day off? 373 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,960 And it's just so I don't even know. 374 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:19,960 Just because about being surrounded by bright as fuck lights and hearing the retail equipment beeping just flicks in my brain into retail mode like a trance and laughing my ass off. 375 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,960 Anyone else? 376 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,960 Edit. Just went to the store and wanted to figure out how much something was. 377 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:32,960 So I instinctively grabbed my phone to try to scan the barcode before realizing I'm yet again not at work. 378 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,960 Jesus, someone works longer than me. 379 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,960 Next one is by Middleoflittle. 380 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,960 Middle of little. 381 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Middle of little. 382 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960 Yes. 383 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960 He's written books. 384 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,960 Had a corker yesterday. 385 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,960 I'm assuming this is England since they're saying corker. 386 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,960 Is that a crazy person? 387 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,960 Every time we do a return, we sample the new receipt to the old one. 388 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,960 This lady had a whole book of receipts. 389 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,960 Jesus. 390 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:02,960 Seriously, about 50. 391 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,960 Jesus. 392 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:08,960 She's buying a pair of shoes, exchanging them for a new pair the week later and on and on it goes. 393 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:13,960 Spent 20 minutes with this crazy woman trying to find a pair of shoes. 394 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,960 I know she'll return next week. 395 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:24,960 Another woman has printed off a screenshot from her laptop of a 20% off code on top of our online site. 396 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:29,960 The sort you get on ASOS, which is a site for shoes and stuff like that. 397 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,960 That you add at the end of your checking out your basket online. 398 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,960 So it's an online code. 399 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:46,960 I spent half an hour trying to explain how this is an applicable in store and our prices are already reflective of the 20% off. 400 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,960 Another woman asks for a for two size five shoes. 401 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,960 I find her one pair doesn't have the other. 402 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,960 She asked for the other in a size four. 403 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,960 And whenever I present her with this, she says she doesn't need it. 404 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960 Then she says she doesn't need a bag. 405 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,960 And whenever I give her her shoes, she goes, Where's my bag? 406 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:12,960 An older man comes in and demands things for free because he's a veteran who went to war. 407 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,960 I say thank you, but I can't do discounts. 408 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,960 Then he says he went to war for me. 409 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,960 So what can I do for him? 410 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,960 And I told him that I worked at a minimum wage job. 411 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:25,960 So we're equal. 412 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,960 I was joking, but the user is now he wasn't mad as hell. 413 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,960 He submitted a complaint. 414 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,960 What did you go ahead? 415 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,960 Another lady wants a pair of shoes that haven't been tried on from the back. 416 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,960 I tell her that all of our shoes are out on the shop floor. 417 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,960 She says she wants a new pair. 418 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,960 I tell her if I did manage to find a pair through the back, they will have been tried on as well. 419 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,960 Every shoe and shoe store has been tried on. 420 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,960 Putting it through the back just means putting it through the back. 421 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:55,960 She leaves furious. 422 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,960 Do you mean all the other shoes I've bought and tried on before? 423 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,960 Yeah, I can't believe that. 424 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,960 Tell me they can't have all tried on. 425 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:03,960 You know what I mean? 426 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,960 I forgot me a fresh pair somewhere. 427 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960 A Jehovah's Witness. 428 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:08,960 So basically we're paying for you shoes. 429 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,960 What you're telling me? 430 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960 Yes. 431 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,960 A Jehovah's Witness gives me her business card. 432 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:18,960 And after a day of dealing with inane inquiries and shoe mad pensioners, 433 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:24,960 I'm beginning to consider being converted just to find out some meaning in all of this nonsense. 434 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960 This is a Jehovah's Witness. 435 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,960 Geez, that man was going through it. 436 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,960 And the last one for today is by Zyclor. 437 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,960 This person puts, it finally happened to me. 438 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,960 Someone peed in the fitting room. 439 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,960 It smelled so strong I almost erupted. 440 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,960 Geez, how strong can pee smell? 441 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,960 The only asparagus one is the only one I've ever been hit with. 442 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,960 Nothing stronger than that. 443 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,960 We spent maybe 30 minutes sopping it up and cleaning the floor. 444 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:56,960 It was on the walls. 445 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960 We have another store location about 15 to 20 minutes away 446 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,960 and apparently someone peed in their shoe there. 447 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,960 My God, it's a fucking serial pisser. 448 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:04,960 Yes. 449 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,960 Oh my God. 450 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,960 When someone says, your job isn't that bad, it's just hanging up clothes, 451 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,960 I'll remind them of this incident. 452 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,960 Oh, can't forget the three separate occasions of finding used tampons on the fucking floor. 453 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,960 You nasty woman. 454 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,960 This is your way that she just falls out when you're changing clothes? 455 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,960 No, I don't. 456 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,960 I should not just fall out. 457 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,960 You are. 458 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,960 Bitch, it's a large hole. 459 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,960 But anything else before we head out today? 460 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,960 No, man, I'm all kind of devastated with all these retail stories. 461 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,960 I have war flashbacks. 462 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:56,960 All right, with that, we will see you guys on the next one.