Oh, and welcome back to Reddit Insanity number 31.
31.
Yeah, 31.
Man, that's a lot.
Welcome back to Reddit Insanity 100.
That'll be thought of soon, so don't worry.
Yeah.
We're up to 31, so that's 31 weeks.
Oh, shit, yeah, I guess it is.
That's wild.
All right, so the first one we have is by Chaos and Spiked, 1389.
And Chaos and it's spiked?
Yeah.
My god.
So this person puts.
So, this lady has come into my store on three separate occasions in the past few weeks.
The first time was almost two weeks ago, and the first thing she did was ask me if Halloween
products were on sale yet.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Why?
This is over two weeks before Halloween.
I told her they most likely would not be until after Halloween, and she proceeded to buy
a five foot skeleton and a blonde mullet wig.
Blonde mullet wig?
She explained that she was going to a Halloween party with her husband and was going to try
to convince him to wear the wig and dress as a hippie.
Dirty hippie.
What then?
I thought she was a little odd and then moved on with my night.
Later that week, she came back to exchange the wig for another one.
The new one was a black mullet.
She explained that her husband didn't like the blonde one, but said that he would wear
a black one.
Then she decided that rather than him dress as a hippie, he was going to go as a Mexican-American.
Bad.
Unfollowing.
Of course.
I couldn't say anything, but I thought it was incredibly stupid.
She said she didn't have her receipt.
I had to process a refund onto a store gift card, which she then used to buy the second
wig.
She also had a coupon, so she still had some money left on it later.
After.
Well, this confused her so much that I had to get my manager, who spent 15 minutes, explaining
why there was still money on the gift card.
Right before she left, she asked me again if Halloween had gone on to appearance, and
I gave her the same answer I had before.
Says yesterday, no.
I don't know what to say.
A few days ago, she came back to return the new wig.
Oh boy.
This time, her reasoning was that she didn't like the top was curly, just like the picture
shows.
So they found a better one online.
I processed a refund onto another gift card, and she laughed at the fact that she had two
now.
Once again, before she left, she stopped to ask if Halloween was on sale yet.
At this point, I think she's just stupid.
I think she's just one of those like, just absolutely, just like, in that world of, it's
just a safety bubble, right?
Yeah.
Where she never had to have a thought in her head.
She transferred from her father taking care of her to her husband, and that's it.
And there's no thought process whatsoever.
There's no thought process whatsoever.
I dealt with a woman like that who didn't even know how to use her fucking husband's
debit card, and then she got mad at me because she didn't, I'm like, ma'am, you're like,
you're not listening to me.
You are ripping that fucking card out of that goddamn pin pad before it even processes on
my fucking computer.
And she's like, is it done now?
What about now?
What do I do now?
Where do I put this now?
Where do I slide it now?
I'm like, I'm about to fucking smack the shit out of you right now.
Now, now.
Like, I could not believe how fucking, she was so arrogant about it.
Like, it's my fucking fault that she doesn't know how to fuck.
I almost flipped out.
Like, it's not my fault you don't know how to fucking act like a god dang human, like
a doll that you can't even work out.
God dang debit card.
And that bitch.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like you've been through this, I have.
You've been through this.
And then the gift card situation.
No, no, your store, do they have gift cards?
Like, regular gift cards for the store?
I'd be used to it anymore.
Okay.
So you at least don't have to deal with those then?
But I, in the hurry here, I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know.
You won't fucking believe this. I was coming down- out the aisle, right?
Mhm.
On the end cap, right next to me, right?
Yeah.
His batteries.
Right.
He- so, they're on my right side as I'm coming out of the aisle.
This guy cuts through, coming from my right, walks past the batteries, and puts it up to my face.
You got any batteries?
Like, yeah, just look.
Turn your head.
Like, they were- like, he was- he cut- I'm here, right?
Mhm.
The batteries are to my right, and he cuts past the batteries.
Uh, fast.
And stands right in front of- you got any batteries?
Uh, I'm like, yeah, they're- I just did this with my hand, right?
He fell- tell me- to give him credit, he felt so fucking-
God dang it.
They were, uh, like, 12 inches away from him.
When he turned to me, I was like, God dang it, you know, so determined to find batteries,
he couldn't find batteries.
But then, uh, I just- I can just picture his face, like-
Well, yeah, he knew.
Cause I just- I just motioned my hand, like, right?
Like, just turn your head.
Like, literally, just look- look to your fucking- I guess he was looking- yeah, look to your
left.
That was wild.
Tunnel vision is deep sometimes.
Yeah.
Well, try- try explaining that to that last customer.
Uh, where?
There where they are.
I would have to bring him to her, cause even if I told her where they were, she wouldn't
find them.
Exactly.
Uh, so diagonal across the- all the way across the store, to the very far back corner- uh,
forward corner.
Well, uh, that was annoying for him, but I can't change the layout of the store for him.
Then-
Bullshit right there.
That should be in my hand the minute I walk in the store.
Then he demands that I tell him about this week's special on soda.
How good of a deal was it?
How many cases for the price together?
Uh, is it buy two get two free or buy three get two free?
Needless to say, he was not happy when I- whenever I told him, we don't have those kinds of deals.
Damn.
So how fucking dare you?
In fact, we never have those kinds of deals.
You get really annoyed insisting that we absolutely do.
Well, we apparently at the store that he always shops at- we are the store that he always
shops at- and we always have those deals.
And point of fact-
They fucking lie right to your face.
Yes, yes they do.
Very much so.
God dang lie.
You know damn well, if you shop here every day, there's never been a one fucking deal
that you're talking about.
And point of fact, there is something offered at a completely different chain of stores
on the opposite side of town and I told him as much.
I told him the price of our individual cases.
He didn't even bother to go look, just stormed out.
I'm sure he went to the other store that I mentioned, but the joke's on him because
even with those kinds of deals, the prices are insanely high.
Damn.
So he said he has either the voucher he has where you want it sir.
And then a button shutter.
But let's just join us.
And if I had to join you in the mouth, at least my ass won't be fucking real quick.
In fact, the only way you can actually sell things with the prices that they put on the
tags is by having those kinds of deals.
Another day, another angry customer.
Ah yes.
Alright, next one we have is by TinyMaterial8608.
Nice name I guess.
It's a long name and makes no fucking sense.
Not really no.
At least it knows there's some meaning behind it.
It has some fucking deep dark name and every time they see it they're like, hey, are they
the only person in the fucking world that has the inside joke?
He's like, yeah, that's a fair answer.
But yeah, this is a random shit that just sends people off.
Alright, he puts, my girlfriend and I, and you already know what he said, my age and
everything, I don't care.
I'm assuming you're all adults, that's good too, just for you.
Because that's what you're looking like, you're gonna say, fuck the pages aren't you?
So my girlfriend, something like fucking weird, like my girlfriend and I, 24 and 96, I'm like
yeah.
But I think you like the balance like you and don't you dare fucking say no.
So that's good.
My girlfriend and I are quite avid Trek fans, Star Trek fans.
Like, I was like, Trek fans?
Like, for like, the 18 wheelers?
Which I had, I don't know.
Hell yeah, keep it America fan.
Praise hell, praise hell.
She recently asked me if I would be down to roleplay in the bedroom as characters from
the original series.
That being me, that being me as Mr. Spock and her as Captain Kirk.
Those are both guys.
What the fuck?
To be honest, I am pretty neutral on roleplaying as it doesn't really do anything for me, but
I'm here.
But it's not like I find it disgusting.
I just think it can be awkward, so it's not typically my thing.
However, she seemed really into the idea and I like to make her happy.
She's a 148 page fucking squiff of them to read.
Pure fan fiction.
I'm like, gosh dang girl.
So I thought why not spend like two and a half months with her.
Remember?
I would've hurt her.
See, it's all in her thoughts.
Amazingly, yeah.
The basic plan was for us to dress up and then be in character for a bit.
Then she was going to complain about her back so I could give her a back massage.
In my defense, I know this whole thing sounds incredibly cringe, but please bear with me.
Anyway, during the back massage, I was supposed to get a little touchy bit touchy.
Then you guess where this is going.
We also decided to have a safe word precisely so that we would know when to break character
because she wanted to take it seriously.
Oh boy, that girl's too deep into it.
So they're both guys and it has to be an or.
Well, you can't smash a dick into a dick.
I'm following the rules here.
They're both guys.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it looks like it's two females.
Strap one of these.
Here's where I fucked up.
Female Captain Kirk, your female Spock, huh?
Uh huh.
Some men pay to see that.
Now I should've done this for only a friend.
They make some good money.
Here's where I fucked up.
I was going, it was going all right.
And I was giving her a back massage for like 10 minutes at this point.
And she was being kind of suggestive, I guess.
My problem was that I just didn't know how Spock would actually act in the situation.
Like I know that I was supposed to be supposed to initiate things, but I also wanted to be
true to the character.
Eventually she starts whispering me for me to go lower and stuff like that.
But I still responded in character saying stuff like that's inappropriate.
Unbecoming of a Starfleet officer.
Oh fuck.
That girl went hard.
Not literally.
Like she went so hard she's throwing the fucking pan at me.
She starts getting a bit mad and accusing me of not really being into it.
This is the Star section, the 36C5.
There must not be intercourse between two Star kids.
Oh my god.
This is where I think I took it a bit far because I started thinking about how it was
just a back massage and I didn't know how I was supposed to be into it.
Then she starts yelling at me that obviously we weren't still in character and I was being
purposefully dense.
Which I suppose I sort of was since I'm not stupid.
And I just felt like taking a piss a bit.
That sounds like an actress.
Like who got deep in the character and realized that that character wouldn't have sex with
Kurt.
So now she fell in the rabbit hole.
She can't get out.
This turns into a massive argument where she tells me that she feels like I'm not attracted
to her and that I don't try hard enough and eventually she ends up crying and we barely
speak for three days after that.
Ah we were late yes.
After that she came over and we talked a bit about it but I still wasn't being super serious
because the whole situation is a bit ridiculous really.
She gets mad again.
Then I start getting a bit mad and eventually we are really arguing and shouting and bringing
up things in our past to hurt each other.
And with it and it turns pretty toxic quickly.
Then she gets fed up and breaks up with me right there and then.
Well it shouldn't be right then and there.
She wrote it backwards.
Uh it back.
Watch your dad.
See that's the one thing I would.
Reading other people's writing that don't mesh.
In this day and age when people can't write shit.
It's something.
He tried to parse out the words as I'm reading live here.
Okay guys suck.
Yeah don't be like that sometimes.
I know it may not come through in this post but I really do love her and it really sucks
that this is how it had to end after all this time.
I've been super depressed.
God it's falling to Jesus Christ.
People if you're gonna write a post please please correct your.
It's just another fucking bug.
Oh right.
Yeah.
Correct.
Yes.
How the fuck did you skip it.
So for instance I the she spelled H H E or sorry F E.
God fucking me up.
F H E.
F H E for the thingy.
Maybe it's just swell.
Oh I've been super depressed the past couple of weeks where I'm not eating or doing schoolwork
and I'm obviously not enjoying Star Trek like I used to.
I wrote a Star Trek for me that bad.
The more I think about it I think I'm just embarrassed.
I just embarrassed her and such a vulnerable moment and I'm struggling to forgive myself
for that.
But then I remember that it was fucking Star Trek roleplay and I keep going in circles.
Anyway fuck my life.
I should have just taken it more seriously.
She did.
She turned out serious.
As seemingly as possible.
She was flying in spock.
She had to understand the character at his fundamental level.
So she basically did what Spock would have done.
Exactly.
We cannot do those kinds of things.
That is inappropriate.
Alright.
Hopefully this person wrote their grammar a little bit better in this post.
This person Anon Tiddy.
What was the name?
It's Kev.
They're really trying to fucking confuse me.
They are a bad shit.
On those titties is what I'm assuming he said.
On the titties.
There you go.
I guess it could be spelled that way.
On the titties.
There you go.
My one and a.
I don't think you really have to tell us.
It's funny.
It is to me.
That's for some feds.
My 11 year old self has destroyed my career apparently.
I am currently being fired in my probation period as management stumbled upon my very
very old Facebook account that had some edgy politically incorrect posts.
After a lot of back and forth and discussions they told me to either delete the post by
the end of the week or they would be forced to let me go.
Bear in mind that these posts were made whenever I was literally 11 years old.
Anyway, I thought fair enough.
I would just access my account and permanently delete it.
Here's the problem.
I don't know.
My fucking password.
As uh, deleted as to not be affected by it anymore.
I first recovered my very old cringy named email that I was using as a kid.
Second I thought it is a very easy and simple solution.
This turned out to be a dystopia nightmare.
I fell between the cracks of a fully automated system that will not accept any answer between
a one and a zero.
The Orwellian Facebook system demanded that I give them my papers to properly identify
myself to them.
Since literally my career and future is at stake, I reluctantly compiled and provided
my government issued ID hoping for a speedy resolution of this nightmare.
Unfortunately, the robot decided that it wants to reject all of my IDs stating that it could
not identify my account.
Picture it on 11 words this.
I tried every single trick in the book to reach a human.
Even purchasing an Oculus Quest so that a meta customer support can help.
Jesus, that man went deep.
Man, this career must be legit.
Yup.
Like full benefit.
Like six figures a year.
Damn.
But they say that they can now get help with any Facebook related issue whatsoever and
to try to process with their relevant robot again.
Time to speak to Martin Zuckerberg himself.
And nothing seems to work.
As of now, I guess I will be let go of due to my fuck up from whenever I was 11 years
old.
This is so surreal it's funny.
What?
I have to read these posts.
What could he have possibly said at 11 years old?
And they're 11 years old.
They're like, from when you're 11 years old.
If he's in the workforce now, I'm assuming he's at least been eight years, nine years
maybe.
But it has to be snow because an Oculus drifted like some expensive shit.
That's what I'm saying.
He's got to be past 18.
But he's got to be making like some bank.
He has to be like something like, I'm assuming 30s for some reason.
Do you think of 30s?
I'm thinking maybe like out of college.
I'm thinking way before that.
This job is like his job, you know?
You think so?
Yeah.
So late 20s, early 30s?
Probably.
Like he's making some bank.
He's going to 40s.
And so for some reason they give him enough time to buy the fucking Oculus, set that bitch
up and then talk to somebody in the fucking metaverse.
And fucking throw him back.
He's got to the real world.
Yeah, but from, I don't know.
Like automatically that's at least 10 years.
Like if I worked at McDonald's, I wouldn't be like, I couldn't afford an Oculus.
I have to begin with.
You're working at McDonald's?
I don't know that you're paying a lot of money.
Maybe.
But yeah, my whole point is that it's at least a decade old post.
It's at least that old.
He got fired.
I know that much.
But like going back, why is the company looking back at the fucking post from 10 years ago?
I don't know.
Like that's just.
I want to know what you wrote when you were 11 years old.
I know who you were and how you became who you are.
Exactly.
It's just stupid.
I know that.
Fuck if they went back and worked if I had any at the time.
Oh my God.
You know how fast I'd be canceled?
Things that were said in the hood.
They said recently on this point.
Shit.
You know how many things I've said?
Please don't cancel me.
All right, next one is by Mr. Farted.
Spurs and puts.
A little backstory.
Recently I discovered how easy miso soup was to make at home.
Miso soup.
Miso.
And have been eating a good amount recently.
In case you didn't know, you can buy miso paste and make an entire pot in under five
minutes.
Yay.
I've probably eaten it four times this week alone.
I had just been following an online recipe I found online and it was great.
Should experiment with changes to ingredient quantities such as adding more tofu or more
seaweed.
Little did I know that this was probably the worst mistake I could make.
Damn, what is that fucking string?
Jesus Christ.
Yes you didn't know.
Seaweed is extremely high in fiber.
Oh, so we got that guess.
Hey, guess what?
He came in and guess what?
Guess what motherfucker?
Guess what?
I was gonna scare you.
I normally added a corner of a sheet of dried seaweed per bowl.
Normally.
But this time I for some reason decided to use four sheets of dried seaweed.
Motherfucker.
You son of a bitch.
After an hour of finishing the soup, I was feeling my stomach bubbling and I could hear
my stomach rumble like guess what?
It's, yeah, it's.
But the molly's ass cheeks out.
At this point, I didn't think anything was wrong.
And I just thought it was weird.
Two hours later, my stomach had started cramping.
Oh God, God dang.
Like it's like so ready to burst, right?
That the shit that's the seaweed is trying to get past the other shit ahead of it.
What the fuck?
Oh my God.
What?
Yeah, you know what I mean?
I felt like water in the chair.
Like, yeah, I don't know what.
It's like mom, mom, they got time for this.
I could feel it like I could feel it bubbling like lava inside me.
I continued sitting at my desk as by this point, I knew if I move, if I let this fucking
corn go.
I bet you I bet you 100 percent he was fucking clenching his fucking death like a volcano
was it?
I know you like you like trying to get the way of the path.
Yeah, can you hear that?
Creek from like fucking Britain.
I just sweat beads and follow this.
Just holding on.
Hey, then you got those reports coming up.
Are you certain he doesn't hold on?
I just got to hold on.
The desperation in his voice.
I just got to hold on.
Yeah, I just got to fucking just fucking hold on right now.
I can't go home.
Not a ball.
Oh shit.
I would fucking punch a wall before I farted in public.
You know, I really see it.
No one here nothing and in the redirect the fucking like pain or anything to start yourself.
Yeah, basically.
So at this point, I knew if I moved, things wouldn't be very enjoyable.
I just sat there waiting for the inevitable.
I then felt it knocking on my back door.
And then the floodgates open.
This is just撞
right in front of me.
I'm gonna start to eat this.
Yes.
Oh wow.
I need some.
Wow.
So what?
I'm gonna take a shit there.
What's this?
She invented rice.
The fact that he accepted his fate.
It's a brainwad.
But I...
Oh damn.
I have no choice.
I managed to grab an empty bowl of miso soup off of my desk.
All at the same time.
I won't go into detail what happened next.
You don't have to, but it was completely liquid.
I'm currently sitting on the toilet waiting for it to all be over.
I have learned my lesson.
Jesus Christ.
So he went full cartman?
Yeah, he's full cartman.
Mom! Bathroom! Mom! Bathroom!
Jesus. That's wild.
Reminder, don't eat that much seaweed.
Good to know.
They're going for my half a sheet?
They're fucking four of them.
Oh my God.
Mitch just punched right through his ass.
Surprise, mother...
So here goes.
Today I fully fucked up upon walking into the dude's bathroom to take a piss.
Started all well and good.
Walked to the correct public bathroom door in the library.
Checked to make sure that it had the lad sign, which turns out it didn't.
Upon entering the bathroom, without my glasses on, I saw a person staring back at me.
Long hair, feminine facial features, and just not appearing to be indeed a dude.
My socially awkward self had to clear up that I fucked up, so of course I said,
Sorry, I didn't realize I was in the female's bathroom.
Okay, I'll wait there so far.
Upon exiting, I checked the door and indeed it did have the men's logo on it.
So, as I do, I went in there and I beat that like crazy person.
I began to giggle, thinking some dumb gal had fucked up.
I decided to hide around the corner and wait, because I really had to piss.
And when she left the bathroom, I went in.
Upon re-entering and seeing the layout of the bathroom, the situation replayed in my head.
Turns out, when we made eye contact, they were standing pissing at the urinal.
Oh, I didn't know females were in here.
He didn't see nothing really, but just the optics of...
It's like, God, your dick's so small, I thought it was a woman.
Well, I guess it's a fuck up, but...
It was accidentally called a lesbian assert.
And she was like caught unaware.
I didn't mean it, I just, you know, I like the corner of my eye.
She was a tomboy, so...
Hey, sir.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, damn it.
It could be as bad as that GameStop thing, remember that one?
Yeah, it's number...
Oh, yeah.
Could be that.
That person was mad.
It's still funny though, too, this day. That was from fucking four years ago and it's still funny.
Next one is by Oni Knight.
Oni Knight.
All right.
This person puts, I love industrial metal, so...
I eat it.
So whenever I found out a band I adored from the 90s was coming to my city, I decided to get some tickets.
The show was super awesome and everyone was turned up to 11.
I admit I got really enthusiastic about handbagging to all the up-tempo songs and three hours later,
the show ended with me drenched in sweat from jumping and dancing and just having a hell of a good time.
I was a normal amount of sore, but it felt pretty good.
Definitely slept like a rock until I woke up at 5 a.m. with a horrendous pain in the back of my neck.
Yeah.
It felt like I had been bashed in the back of the head and the pain radiated down into my back.
I literally had to pick my own head up out of bed without intense pain.
I had my family member look at my neck, but they didn't see anything obvious.
So I ended up going to the urgent care where they told me I probably basically gave myself whiplash.
Wow, that must have hurt.
Though they can't rule out actual spinal damage.
He was head banging their hearts.
He goes, he does go to 11.
If the pain worsens or I start to feel a feeling limb weakness,
I was told I basically will need to be in an emergency room to get a CT scan.
But for now, I'm living with a heating pad attached to my body and a medical dose of ibuprofen.
God dang.
Just from head to say he party too hard.
You know, like when you wake up in the morning and you stretch like that good stretch.
Yeah.
And you have a break.
You're like, ah, ah, ah.
Then the ship starts spazzing that ship.
Must be a chill.
Yeah, I've done that quite a few times.
Man, that shit just hurts.
Like just start spazzing me.
You feel it, right?
And you're hoping that if you cut it just enough or in time that it'll, but no, like it builds to the pain.
Like, damn it, I still got it.
Yep.
Last one for today is by Carrie girl zero nine eight.
This person puts today I fucked up by accidentally waterboarding myself.
I am currently on vacation with my husband, his parents and some of his extended family.
Unfortunately, overnight I came down with a cold.
So in the interest of public health, I stayed in while the rest of the gang went out to our planned events for the day.
So now I think she's capping right there though.
I think she just didn't want to go in the big old group.
I wouldn't blame her either.
I'm kind of cold. I can't.
That's the real. I can't go out.
Hey, the real.
Just blowing cheeks out.
Sitting there with my miso bowl.
A day after they left, I decided to try to relieve some of my symptoms by taking a hot shower bath combo.
I figured the steam in the heat would help my congestion.
She's fucking lied down and put the towel over her head and he's fucking.
He probably.
And a soothing bath can't hurt, right?
I got everything prepped, grabbed a washcloth and lowered myself into the tub.
I decided to soak the hot rag of the rag in the hot water and lay it across my forehead to help soothe some of the sinus pressure.
So good, but was not helping fast enough.
So after a few tries, I dumped the rag and put the whole thing across my face.
I thought breathing through the rag would let the humid air down my sore throat.
Don't you?
I tried to breathe in through my nose and surprised it was completely stuffed and didn't work.
I opened my mouth and took a breath and in doing so, I immediately sucked a wet rag in my mouth and sent a steam stream of water down my throat.
Joking and gagging, I tried to sit straight up to cough it out.
However, I am currently eight months pregnant and it takes me three to five business days to sit up in a bed, let alone a slippery wet tub.
The sudden exertion sent me sliding down further under my back into the water, rag still over my face, face first into the steam of the shower head.
With the grace of the mouse and a bowl of oil and the desperation of a dying harp in a fishing boat, I began rolling from side to side to determine which way was up until I rolled myself face down into the bath water.
Only then was I able to prop myself up, remove the rag from my face and mouth and take a breath of sweet sweet sweet hotel bathroom air.
My precious fetus started flailing in delight in response to the surprise roller coaster ride.
Did you try to kill us?
It was like it freaked out.
And I just stayed there for a minute, assessing the damage and recalculating my life choices.
My nose is still stuffy now and now I have a trauma complex.
Jesus.
I imagine if she failed, her husband gets gets back to the hotel, laying dead in the fucking tub.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
1000 ways to die.
That was a wild show.
Yeah.
The Seth MacFarlane one?
No, 1000 ways to die was the show on Spike TV.
Oh, what did you do?
It was like the most horrendous ways people have died.
Yeah, I was thinking a thousand ways to die in the West.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one too.
I think the worst one that I've ever seen on a thousand ways to die is some dude had hooked up some like car batteries to a piece of like cow beef.
Like he was just like and he started to fuck it and then he electrocuted him to death.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Dude was like he was he was escalating to those fucking serial killer levels.
Yeah.
That was fucking crazy.
That's fucking disgusting.
He just fucking.
What did you think was going to happen?
They was going to heat up the beef while he banged it, I guess was his thinking.
But he's the ground.
That's it.
There you go.
Electrically, it means not smart.
The part of him banging it is not.
That shit.
Remember that one guy that fucked that chicken and got a hit.
He was asking like, what if a piece of chicken breast hit my dick?
Oh, yeah.
You fucked that.
You were getting close to that.
We all knew.
He was just getting ready to get those jumper cables.
Yeah.
Attach them to the beef.
That's one thing too far.
Fucking like dead poultry and be one time.
No, maybe a person banging a watermelon is more appealing than a person paying the live
or not alive, but like actual carcasses.
Good Jesus.
Jesus can't help you at this point.
People are he'd be like, you guys are so free.