1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:15,320 Hello and welcome back to Reddit Insanity number 27. 2 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,480 We got a couple of retail stories and we got a couple more today. 3 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:19,520 I fucked up. 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,880 So starting out we have a baby MDMA. 5 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,600 Okay, as far as it goes, I work at a retail chain. 6 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,080 The Saturdays are our biggest and busiest days of the week. 7 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:33,120 I had a group of older women along with an older man come into my job and I was just 8 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,800 letting them know that we had everything that we had in store. 9 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:42,360 Super high energy, just trying to have fun and the ladies were matching the vibe. 10 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:46,760 I told them to let me know if I could help them with anything and let them check out 11 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:47,760 the merch. 12 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:51,880 Well, I noticed after about 10 minutes they were pulling props out of the wall. 13 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:57,240 So I asked them if I could help them and find anything that they didn't. 14 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,240 Repeat that. 15 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:03,120 So I asked them, because it's the way it's written, so I asked them if I could help them 16 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,000 find anything to which they didn't reply. 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,840 I then said, well, let me know if I can help. 18 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,360 And the guy goes, they just want a shop without you yelling at them. 19 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,360 I was so dumbfounded. 20 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,440 It's like, what do I even say to that? 21 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,880 I wanted to say something along the lines of you should just turn down your hearing 22 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,440 aids or yeah, I got paid to be this loud. 23 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:28,040 But you know, as well as I do that you can't do that. 24 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,560 He made it a point to cover his ears every time I said goodbye to a customer, no matter 25 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:37,320 how loud, quiet or far away I was from him for the rest of the time he was in the store. 26 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,720 It didn't ruin my vibe or day. 27 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:43,160 I just thought it was hilarious because I was definitely not being loud considering one, 28 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:47,360 how busy it was and two, how loud the music was. 29 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,000 So he was a little bitch. 30 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,600 So what, what props would have taken up the wall? 31 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,280 Uh, could be clothes or something like that. 32 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,280 There ain't no telling. 33 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,480 It could be like a boutique shop. 34 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,480 They call them props. 35 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,480 I just call them products. 36 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:02,480 They can take whatever they want. 37 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,480 Everything is not bolted down. 38 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:08,680 And they will, they will, they will move some of the shit. 39 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,280 Like, why the fuck are you touching that? 40 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,280 Is this for sale? 41 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,280 Basically. 42 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,280 Yeah. 43 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,280 No, no, it's not. 44 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,400 Uh, next one is by old man and his dog. 45 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,280 This person puts, I was working in a liquor store in Florida. 46 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,360 A guy came to the register with a soft drink. 47 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,960 I guess he thought he was slick and pocketed two bourbon miniatures. 48 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,680 They cost 49 cents each. 49 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:35,620 I rang up his drink and two liters of the same brand of bourbon, 7.99 each. 50 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:39,040 He yelled asking, uh, what that was. 51 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,880 And I told him that it was for the two bottles he sold. 52 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,600 He said those were just 49 cent minis. 53 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:49,740 I told him pay what I rang up or we can let the police see what size he has in his pocket. 54 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,640 He opted for the police screaming. 55 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,680 I was trying to rip him off. 56 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,600 He ended up arrested handcuffed and taken to jail because he was too cheap to pay 98 57 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,600 cents for two shots. 58 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,600 Hmm. 59 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,600 Damn. 60 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:01,600 Don't steal from liquor stores. 61 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,600 That's just stupid. 62 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,600 Yeah. 63 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,120 It's very, very fucking retarded. 64 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,120 Like there's no reason. 65 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,240 You just bought two full things of it for 7.99. 66 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,240 You can't pay for the two. 67 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,240 Weird. 68 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,240 Itty bitty ones. 69 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,240 Doesn't make no damn sense to me. 70 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,240 All right. 71 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,080 Next one is by, uh, let's see. 72 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,480 Choose name when drunk. 73 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,320 This person puts the customer comes through with a basket full of groceries or chatting 74 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,600 as I scan and bag them. 75 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,600 Get to the end. 76 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,600 It comes to 32 40 me. 77 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:39,600 That'll be 32 40 cash or card customer or check. 78 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,600 You gotta love the check people. 79 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,600 Yeah. 80 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,600 They don't, they don't hold up the line at all. 81 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,600 No. 82 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,600 And at 45 minutes, right? 83 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,600 Your God dang check. 84 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,560 And the funny thing is that most retail companies that I can think of with checks now, you don't 85 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,560 even have to fill them out. 86 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,160 You just run the barcode along the edge and it does like a debit card would do. 87 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,160 I should try that. 88 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:03,240 So you don't even have to fill out the full thing. 89 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:07,000 So this person puts, uh, the customer says, I'm going to give you $50. 90 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Okay. 91 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Me. 92 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000 Okay. 93 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 Hold out my hand. 94 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Customer. 95 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 Can I have my change? 96 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000 Me. 97 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 As soon as you pay me, you can't customer. 98 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,000 No, I've been short changed too many times. 99 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,200 I need my change before I give you any cash. 100 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,200 Fuck that. 101 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,200 You give me the money first. 102 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,200 Then you get to change. 103 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,920 That's how, that's how, that's how life works in such a logical sense. 104 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,080 Here, let me give you the money that I owe you before you give me the money that you 105 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,080 owe me. 106 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080 Sure. 107 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080 Me. 108 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,080 I need to give you, I need you to give me the cash before I can open the till to give you 109 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,080 your change. 110 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:43,240 At this point, I still have not actually seen the $50 customer. 111 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,880 You don't even know how much change I need. 112 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:45,880 Do you? 113 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,080 The customer grabs a bag of groceries off of the counter. 114 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,720 I suspect where this is going and I open the intercom to the office. 115 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,640 Let me, let me, let me try to solve it. 116 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,920 So $50 minus what's the other one? 117 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,920 Uh, 32 40, I think. 118 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,920 I think that's what it was. 119 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:00,920 Yeah. 120 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,920 32 40. 121 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,320 So $50, 32 40, uh, 16, uh, 16 60. 122 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,320 Yeah. 123 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,000 You want me to give you 17 60. 124 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 17 60. 125 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,720 Um, 32 or is it 15? 126 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,720 Wait, 32. 127 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,720 No way. 128 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,960 I thought I completely fucked it up. 129 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,400 My math is wrong. 130 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,400 I've never been good at math. 131 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,400 It was never your strong suits. 132 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,400 I guess you're right. 133 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,400 This is 17 because it would go up to 18. 134 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,400 18 plus 32. 135 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,400 Yep. 136 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,400 You're right. 137 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,080 I would have lost a dollar or not. 138 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:37,760 What a short and then he would have flipped out a customer. 139 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,400 You don't even know how much change I need. 140 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,400 Do you? 141 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,400 Yes. 142 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,400 Me. 143 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:50,160 When you give me $50, then I will, you will receive 17 60 and change. 144 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,160 Yay. 145 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,080 Customer, if you know how much it is, give me the change first. 146 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,640 What is his obsession with the boss to the customer always shows up whenever money's 147 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,640 involved cash. 148 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,640 What is he? 149 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,640 Mr. Crabs? 150 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,640 Money, money, money. 151 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:04,640 I'm sorry. 152 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,640 You need to pay first customer. 153 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:08,640 Fine. 154 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,640 I'll just put in a card. 155 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:10,640 Me. 156 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,640 I would. 157 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,640 Yeah. 158 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:19,600 That's actually a good like, okay, if you keep getting shortchanged, you're not going 159 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,080 to get shortchanged in a card. 160 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,080 Exactly. 161 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,080 Just use your card from now on. 162 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,080 Why is it someone else's responsibility? 163 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,080 Because these people are fucking retarded. 164 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,080 Fucking I guess it's a responsibility to give you the right change. 165 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,880 But like you're telling me like if it's happened, like how many times you've been shortchanged? 166 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:33,880 Yeah. 167 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,320 You might as well switch the cards. 168 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,320 Yeah. 169 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,000 If you're that horrible about getting your change back. 170 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,120 Like if somehow you're the most unluckiest person in the world that has the worst cash 171 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:46,560 you've ever dealt with, take the equation out of it and just use your own card. 172 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,560 Yeah. 173 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,040 They can't shortchange you on a card. 174 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,840 No, but people are stupid. 175 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,080 And some people can't even count. 176 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,440 So I just sure can. 177 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,120 I just missed it off. 178 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,760 There's a viral video that's been around for a long time now where it's got the news and 179 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,880 they're talking about car park things. 180 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,960 If like where you pay for parking, where the guy's like, it says that it's a dumb 181 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:12,120 dollar or for 15 minutes and not for the guy. 182 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,120 Like what is it? 183 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,120 Uh, for a quarter of an hour. 184 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,120 Yeah. 185 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,120 And a quarter of it's, it's not 15 minutes. 186 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,120 It's like, but yeah, it is. 187 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,600 Cause he was thinking about that. 188 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,600 He was thinking about the quarter. 189 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,600 I saw that. 190 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,600 Yeah. 191 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,120 He thought it was supposed to be for 25 and 15. 192 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,760 Cause most people don't know what a quarter of an hour is anymore. 193 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:31,760 15, 15. 194 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,360 And then he's like, Oh, Oh, please don't put that in. 195 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,360 Please. 196 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,360 Oh God. 197 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:38,360 He's like, Oh, I'm not stupid. 198 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,800 He just knows you messed up. 199 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,960 Everyone's messes up every once in a while. 200 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,320 Just don't go in with so much conviction. 201 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,800 Hey man, you gotta go in hard. 202 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:51,240 And if you come out limp, that's your own. 203 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,360 Next one is by a white boy. 204 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,720 The third there's been three of them apparently. 205 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,840 Now we're onto some today. 206 00:07:58,840 --> 00:07:59,840 I fucked up. 207 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:04,560 So this person puts I work as a camp, a camp counselor for the YMCA and every group leader 208 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:09,600 has a walkie so we can talk to each other and other group leaders to know where everyone 209 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,600 is at. 210 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,560 Of course, the radio was given was broken. 211 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,240 It had a broken antenna, but I had no clue. 212 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,520 It easily would just fall off and on, but I hadn't touched it. 213 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,800 So I didn't know that. 214 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,920 Well around lunchtime, this third grader named Hunter was standing at about six feet from 215 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,680 me, minding his own business. 216 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,960 When he looked at me and pretending to throw a baseball, I saw him do it. 217 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:36,320 And I turned into a batter stance and swung my radio by the antenna so hard as I could 218 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,480 as hard as I could like swinging a bat. 219 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:43,360 Well the radio flew off of the antenna straight towards Hunter and knocked his two front teeth 220 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,360 out. 221 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,360 Oh fuck. 222 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:53,880 Not only did his teeth come out, but since it hit him square, they shot right down his 223 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:54,880 throat. 224 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,320 Oh damn. 225 00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:00,640 That is a quite the golden today I fucked up story. 226 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,640 Yeah. 227 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,680 Legit fuck up. 228 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:07,280 One of them coughed up, but the other one down all the way. 229 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,440 I had to file an accident report and explained to my boss and Hunter's parents what happened 230 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,580 to knock this fucking teeth out. 231 00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:17,400 His mom was so angry and upset at me that she almost wanted to press charges. 232 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:23,120 His dad told me he wasn't upset and that's one less to buy back as the tooth fairy. 233 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,120 Go figure. 234 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:30,560 And that's like, well, I mean like how young as a kid, I mean, he gets the third grade. 235 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:35,000 So what he's, what, when they, what age did the teeth start growing back? 236 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,760 There's probably about that age somewhere. 237 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,800 Baby teeth fall out somewhere. 238 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:40,800 I hope so. 239 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,760 Cause I mean, well, if his dad's saying that he doesn't have to buy him back as a tooth 240 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,760 fairy, that's what I'm thinking. 241 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:46,760 Yeah. 242 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,760 Like, uh, all right. 243 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,760 I'd be like, you just knocked out my son's fucking teeth. 244 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:50,760 Cause what? 245 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,200 Ninth grade is about 14 or 15. 246 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,200 So drop that down by six years. 247 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,200 Damn how young were we? 248 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,200 God dang. 249 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,200 Yeah. 250 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,200 I'm so old. 251 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,200 Yeah. 252 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,080 Cause ninth grade is 14 or 15. 253 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,520 They ain't growing back if they already fully out. 254 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,960 Those bitches knocked out. 255 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,640 He got knocked out young. 256 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,640 Well, okay. 257 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,200 That'd be like six, six years. 258 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,200 Jesus. 259 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,200 That kid must have been like, God dang. 260 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,200 Yeah. 261 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,200 Uh, let's see. 262 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:24,640 All in all, it wasn't too bad, but I absolutely destroyed what kids teeth, that kid's teeth. 263 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,320 And I pissed off my boss and the kid's mom. 264 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,320 Uh, TLDR. 265 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,520 I accidentally flung my walkie at a third grader's tooth and it fell out and he swallowed 266 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:34,520 one of them. 267 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,520 Yeah. 268 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,520 You don't have to repeat. 269 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:37,520 Yeah. 270 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,520 We just, you don't have to summarize the whole God dang. 271 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,520 I don't know why they do that. 272 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:40,520 It's annoying, but I know. 273 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:44,040 Next one is by Asura in 1958. 274 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:48,360 This person puts this happened two months ago, but I am still depressed over this. 275 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,320 I hooked up with a woman who was on the thicker side and I stupidly suggest that we should 276 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,080 do a 69. 277 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,080 Why? 278 00:10:55,080 --> 00:11:03,080 But damn, it's a good way to go. 279 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,960 Because I had a root canal on my front tooth years ago. 280 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,420 And if you guys don't know a root canal tooth without a crown is prone to fracture since 281 00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:14,400 it is very weak because the procedure effectively kills the tooth by removing the pulp, which 282 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,920 is what keeps the tooth strong and alive. 283 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,840 A root canal tooth can be break easily break without a crown. 284 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,720 If it's under a lot of stress, like regular chewing. 285 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,840 Why'd you get a crown then? 286 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,000 So what happened was when she was trying to exit the 69 position after several minutes 287 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,040 of us enjoying it, she sat upright, which caused her to accidentally sit on my face 288 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,160 and the weight and pressure from her ass crack. 289 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,240 Dan, that must have felt good for him. 290 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,360 Cracked my root canal tooth below the gum. 291 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,680 It's a big girl. 292 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:48,920 Because of that, I now need to remove the tooth and pay around $6,000 plus for a dental 293 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,280 implant, which is going to take seven months for the whole procedure to be done. 294 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,120 And seven months without a front tooth is going to make me really insecure. 295 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:03,200 So yeah, if any of you guys have a root canal on any of your front teeth, avoid doing 69s 296 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,560 and also take care of your teeth. 297 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,560 Please. 298 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,360 Root canal teeth are fucking weak as hell. 299 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,360 Edit. 300 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,200 I'm not going to do dental tourism guys. 301 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,320 It's too risky, especially for a major procedure. 302 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:18,360 I have the comments like, why don't you go to Mexico and what have them fucking, I mean, 303 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:24,080 fucking closed up in a goddamn barrel or to take the kidneys. 304 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,320 You go to sleep for the tooth. 305 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,320 Yeah. 306 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,560 You wake up and he took both your balls. 307 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:33,520 You're like, Oh man, I'm Mexican. 308 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,400 So believe me, don't go down there for anything. 309 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,440 You type of don't do not go to Mexico for surgery unless you want to get your hair replaced 310 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,440 with fucking gold chains. 311 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,320 Did you see the dumbest shit I've ever seen? 312 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,880 Well, there was that other rapper that put that diamond in his head. 313 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,880 Remember that? 314 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:50,880 I would love to see him. 315 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,240 And then somebody snatched it. 316 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,240 Yeah. 317 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,240 Yeah. 318 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,240 That's what's going to happen to this guy. 319 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,960 He's going to fucking jump in the crowd and they're going to fucking rip his fucking hair 320 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 off. 321 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,320 He's going to be bleeding in front of the head. 322 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,320 Your fans do not love you to the, to such a level that they will not harm you if they 323 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,320 get a chance. 324 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,760 Well, there was a, a video of, I think it was Beyonce where she has some super expensive 325 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,760 sunglasses. 326 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,760 She was doing one of her dance moves and she turned her head real fast and those glasses 327 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,360 went flying and the look on her face was like, fuck. 328 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,920 But she had to keep doing the performance. 329 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,760 All the single ladies. 330 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:24,760 But she's married, which is funny. 331 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,760 All the single ladies, but she's married. 332 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:27,760 All the single ladies. 333 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,760 I guess she's not home by herself. 334 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,760 No. 335 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,160 Next one is by exotic situation 743. 336 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:40,000 I call that a, that is a 69 standing. 337 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,000 This person puts my wife and I sell intimate videos and photos. 338 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,720 Basically, only fans. 339 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,720 Yeah. 340 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,640 Basically we were received requests from customers with their own fetishes and record or photograph 341 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,240 them depending on the price that they are willing to pay. 342 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,960 We've been doing this for three years and we've never had any kind of problem because 343 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,000 we're from the beginning. 344 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,400 We never showed our face or reveal our true identity. 345 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,400 You can do that. 346 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,400 Wait a minute. 347 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,360 You can do not put your foot. 348 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,360 Wait a minute. 349 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,200 I got any career choice. 350 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:12,800 We sent the video to a client with a foot fetish and shortly after we received a response 351 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,880 from the client saying he knew who we were. 352 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,480 I figured you guys out from your toes. 353 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,640 How I thought I went to check the video and to my amazement, there it was a photo of my 354 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:27,880 parents that we have next to our sofa, completely visible and uncensored. 355 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:28,880 Damn. 356 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,640 Now he has, he was been blackmailing me and asking for a huge amount of money. 357 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,960 So as to not reveal our identities. 358 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,360 The problem is that I don't know who the customer is. 359 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,120 Transactions are anonymous and I don't even know if he's telling the truth as it would 360 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,840 be very bad luck for our content to end up in the hands of people we know. 361 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,880 Either way, I think there's no other option but to pay. 362 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,160 Damn. 363 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:56,240 Or just don't do OnlyFans if you don't want people to know who is doing it. 364 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,240 Yeah. 365 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,240 Don't do it. 366 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,240 That is true. 367 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:04,280 People, like base it is the detective levels of people on the internet. 368 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,280 Yeah. 369 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,680 They got nothing better to do but to ruin other people's lives. 370 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:08,680 Yes. 371 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,120 The internet never loses the thing. 372 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:15,680 They will find where you fucking live by just the fucking glint of the sun light coming 373 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:16,680 out of your window. 374 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:17,920 The sound of the wind on trees. 375 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:18,920 Yes. 376 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:19,920 That's an oak. 377 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,060 Those only appear in these certain places at a certain time. 378 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,640 Have you seen those videos of those geolocators on YouTube? 379 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,640 Yeah. 380 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,200 Where you can find a fucking plain looking fucking sign with a tree behind it and those 381 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,680 motherfuckers can find out exactly where it is. 382 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,680 There it is. 383 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:33,680 There it is. 384 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,960 It's like how the fuck? 385 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,040 Like I get it if it's something that's unique, like a statue or something. 386 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,680 Why can't they use their power for good? 387 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,840 Because that's all I can do. 388 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,560 Let's catch these goddang child predators. 389 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,560 Throw them all in jail. 390 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,600 I know that wouldn't be nice, wouldn't it? 391 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,600 Just find them all. 392 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:55,480 It's like, yep, I know exactly where he lives by the way that. 393 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,400 Here's his fucking backlog on his computer of all his child pornography. 394 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,400 Six thousand pages. 395 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,520 Put that man in jail. 396 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:04,520 That would be nice. 397 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,760 We should be able to do that. 398 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:12,560 Next person, uh, Finos, uh, Finos, P H E N. 399 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,560 What do you say? 400 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,560 Finals. 401 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,560 Finals. 402 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,560 P H E N. 403 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,560 I thought it was an I at first. 404 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,560 P H E N O L S. 405 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,360 This person puts, I live in a house with one bathroom, which is upstairs. 406 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,480 I woke up from my nap on the couch around 5 p.m., had a day off and really had to pee, 407 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,680 like bad. 408 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,680 Two options. 409 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,000 Sink it is. 410 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,960 Two options to avoid pissing my pants. 411 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,480 Go all the way upstairs to the bathroom, which is about a hundred feet or go 20 feet to the 412 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,000 back door and pee on the free inside my privacy fence. 413 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,040 Obviously I chose the latter. 414 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,040 How bad did he have to pee? 415 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,560 I mean, I can still hold it and make it to the bathroom. 416 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,560 Yeah. 417 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,560 I don't understand. 418 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,560 Oh my God. 419 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:50,560 Yeah. 420 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,320 Like, oh, I headed outside and proceeded to relieve myself on the tree. 421 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,120 I closed my eyes and enjoyed my post-nap evacuation. 422 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,120 Filling. 423 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,760 Ain't nothing like that. 424 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,760 That like real piss. 425 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:07,960 Well, you're just like, oh, you have to hold on to this, like you gotta hold on to this. 426 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,320 Filling the sun on my face and a member was relaxing. 427 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:16,160 Suddenly my enjoyment was cut short by a stabbing pain on my Johnson. 428 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,080 I looked down and saw there was a mosquito bite in my shaft. 429 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,160 Oh, fuck. 430 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,160 Rage filled my heart. 431 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,160 Having pain though. 432 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,360 I've never, I've never felt a mosquito bite me anywhere. 433 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,360 Really? 434 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,360 Yeah. 435 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,400 I'm just getting bit. 436 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,200 I feel I've had one on my fucking ball sack. 437 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,040 Like, damn it. 438 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,760 But I've never rage filled my heart as I instinctively slapped a little asshole. 439 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,720 So he just slapped his cock failing to connect the dots in my head. 440 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:52,720 As my hand was speeding towards not only the ill fated mosquito, but also my family jewels 441 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,380 due to my post-nap brain fog. 442 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,960 My reaction was not fast enough to stop the assault on my genitals. 443 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,940 That was about to take place. 444 00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:05,800 My hand connected with extreme prejudice on both the mosquito and my exposed meat stick. 445 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:10,000 I simultaneously cried out in pain and dropped like a sack of potatoes. 446 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,440 I stayed there for five minutes reevaluating all my life choices to this point. 447 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,440 Oh, come on. 448 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,440 You've been hitting the balls before. 449 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,440 I don't drop down. 450 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,760 I once ran into my cousin's knee full speed. 451 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:23,360 Oh, I fucking threw him across the fucking sofa. 452 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,360 I didn't fucking crumble in a heap. 453 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,600 I can take a nut shot. 454 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,200 They fucking hurt. 455 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,520 So the pedophiles are not a pedophile. 456 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,560 Somebody that's enjoying it. 457 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:36,560 Slap. 458 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,440 It's like ball torture. 459 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,160 You never slept a dick before. 460 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,160 Slap your own dick. 461 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,160 No. 462 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,160 Boom. 463 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,160 Get that shit. 464 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,160 Get that shit ready to go. 465 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:50,840 Give it a back hand for a little extra fucking added. 466 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:57,380 I've said too much. 467 00:18:57,380 --> 00:19:01,440 Next one is by the real big JC22. 468 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:06,120 This person puts Thursday, my dumb ass woke up late and missed the bus into town. 469 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,120 No. 470 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,440 So I waited for the next bus into town and all of a sudden. 471 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,120 He tracked in a town called Amberwood or Amberwhatever. 472 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,120 Amberhead. 473 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,120 Amberhead. 474 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:22,720 So I waited for the next bus into town and all the rotten weeks I had to make a poo poo, 475 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,160 but I couldn't just turn back home and make poop. 476 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,560 My bus was coming. 477 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:33,440 I couldn't hold it and yet my dumb ass had to hold it. 478 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:37,880 I held my shit pipe on the bus all the way to the bus terminal and whenever I finally 479 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:42,140 let that doodoo and went to wipe, I had a big time blood and shit on the toilet paper 480 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:45,240 on top of a pocket blood clot on the toilet paper. 481 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,000 I literally tried to go through the day, paying no attention to the fact I was bleeding near 482 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,460 my asshole. 483 00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:54,880 When I made it home, I took a shower because I felt dirty and put on fresh pajamas. 484 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,920 When my aunt made dinner and I sat down on the chair and Jesus H. Christ it looked like 485 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,000 I sat on cherries and stained the poor chair. 486 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,720 I ate dinner and my aunt took me to the hospital. 487 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:10,540 Nearly seven fucking hours of waiting in the hospital and my bleeding stopped while I waited. 488 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:16,020 When I finally got to see the doctor, he told me it wasn't anything serious, it was a hemorrhoid. 489 00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:19,520 But my dumb ass had to wait an hour and a half more just for the nurse to give me a 490 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,000 pill and my discharge papers. 491 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,480 I don't recommend waiting in the emergency room while bleeding out of the asshole because 492 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,920 with all due respect, emergency room workers really don't act like the namesake whenever 493 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,960 they're part of that hospital. 494 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:32,960 Emergency. 495 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:39,160 Hey man, an emergency or emergency, if it's an emergency you take an ambulance. 496 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:45,000 Do not just walk to the emergency room, but believe me, you'll spend like 15 hours waiting. 497 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,320 For nothing. 498 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,240 Real emergency requires an ambulance. 499 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,240 There's a tip for you. 500 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,880 If it's really emergency, you need an ambulance, they will get you immediate help. 501 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,120 Don't go to the emergency room on your own. 502 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,000 Because they're not going to look at you seriously with it. 503 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000 No. 504 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,880 I mean, there's a life tip for you. 505 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:01,880 I guarantee it. 506 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:07,760 I mean, I've been into emergency rooms for my job whenever I go into them and I've seen 507 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,000 a dude that had a spike through his hand. 508 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000 So there you go. 509 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000 And he's just sitting there waiting. 510 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,820 It's not bleeding. 511 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:20,720 But if you take an ambulance, they'll get you immediately to whatever doctor you need. 512 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,720 Yes they will. 513 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,800 So if it's an emergency and also do not hold your shits like that. 514 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,720 If you really, really, really have to go, just go. 515 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,200 Also don't piss on a tree outside. 516 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,520 Just fucking go. 517 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,600 Just take a shit. 518 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,840 Yeah, it's not worth all the hassle. 519 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:42,840 Really isn't. 520 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,920 But anything else before we head out for today? 521 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,400 Try it with the last time I hit my dick. 522 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,400 No, it's just fun. 523 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:56,760 You give it a little smack while it's hard. 524 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,760 Ask the grassy girl to slap it real quick. 525 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,520 No, you're supposed to slap her with it. 526 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,600 Nah, what weight could I get behind a slap? 527 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,240 If I slap it between her titties, maybe pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. 528 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,440 No, you cock slap them. 529 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:10,440 There's a difference. 530 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,440 Yeah. 531 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,360 You don't slap it, it slaps them. 532 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,640 I slap it, it slaps them, it's all slapping. 533 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,760 I'll slap it all the time. 534 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:41,840 But with that, we'll see you guys on the next one.