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This is what we are covering tonight.
We are going over a Robin Williams classic, Mrs. Doubtfire.
Mrs. Doubtfire.
Yup.
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Alrighty.
So, it's an old movie, but it's a very iconic movie of Robin Williams.
One reason that I decided to cover this today is I've seen it trending, I think, last week
on a small part of X for some reason.
So I looked into it, and it was, again, not to get into that side of the culture, but
they were saying that Robin Williams in the movie was transgender for the whole thing,
or a drag queen.
Ah, yeah, a drag queen, it seems more.
No.
So, I've rewatched it, because it's like, you know what, it's been a long time since
I've seen it.
So, let's rewatch it.
Let's see if your child mind didn't cloud something up, or that you didn't understand
maybe.
And no, the movie has nothing to do with drag.
It has more of like an impersonation, or like an imposter, but not...
Like Big Mama?
Kind of, yeah.
If you consider Mrs. Doubtfire that, with drag, you'd have to consider Big Mama to
be drag.
And I don't consider either to do with that.
So I'll get that out of the way first.
I don't know enough about drag to put any opinion, so I'm just gonna list.
Unfortunately, I've seen too much.
The people, there's a few that I work with.
You ever see too much porn?
You're just like, man, that's enough today.
You ever reach the back end of the porn search tomorrow?
I guess I didn't find it.
You went through every page.
Couldn't you imagine going through every single page?
Like page 2015.
And then there's no 2016, you're like, oh, I made it.
My God.
It's like you see everything, but you watch nothing.
Yeah.
But yeah.
You just close your laptop.
You're just scrolling the entire time?
You close your laptop and you just sit there in the dark.
Your bone are slowly deflated like three hours ago.
Now you're just trying to see if you can make it to the end.
What's at the end of this rainbow?
Nothing.
Nothing but sin.
You have Jesus at the end saying, I don't know how you did that.
You know, I was reading an article in The Economist.
You know, the edge of consent in Japan was 13 until July or June.
Now it's 16.
But the age of adulthood dropped from 20 to 18.
I'm real confused.
And I don't know.
I'm glad I like older women.
Because I would be like, oh, but she's, I don't want to be like that guy.
But she's legal.
Be that fucking pervert.
I don't understand if the legal age of consent in Japan was 13, but the adulthood age is
20.
I don't understand.
Yeah.
That's weird.
That's another thing I thought about age of consent was like, they say 18 is legal here,
right?
So you accept 18.
But if it was 13, I wouldn't accept 13.
No.
That's way too young.
I think it's one of those kind of things they just didn't, they don't do.
But that's what I'm so confused about there.
So their age of consent is 13, but their age of adulthood was 20.
And it used to be 13 for consent.
I thought age of consent and adulthood was the same thing.
No.
So once you reach 18, no, because you're an adult and you can have sex legally.
Well, the age of consent in most states is like 16 or 17.
Yeah.
The reason they set it up that way supposedly is because of a Romeo and Juliet law, which
means that like, say you're both in high school.
Okay.
So if the girl, what if I'm like 45?
Yeah.
That's dumb.
No, that doesn't work.
I'm a high school student.
No.
So you're 57 years old.
Exactly.
Damn.
But it's more of a, like say if you had a high school couple that were a couple of years,
like one was a sophomore, one was a senior.
Or like when seniors date the freshmen.
Yeah.
Fuck Empire vs.
Yeah.
That's basically why those laws exist.
So that way.
Cause in my head, right, I was like, if it, did they say if as long as it's legal and
it's appropriate.
So if 18, she's legal and appropriate, right?
But now that Japan is like 13 and now I'm like, maybe 18 isn't appropriate either.
I'm going to start begging 70 year olds.
Cause I don't know.
It really, like it really messed up my, my ideal of, or not my, like my, my preconceived
notions of what was legally like, so 18 is adulthood and legally sexual, right?
That's what I accepted because that's the law.
So we all accept that.
But now I'm like, if it was younger, I would not accept that.
I don't even want to accept 18 anymore because of that.
Yeah.
Damn article ruined my fucking life, which is weird.
Cause I'm only been with older women, so it doesn't really affect me.
Yeah.
See, my whole thing is, is that, uh, whatever age you set, uh, people being able to join
the military, that's the age you should be able to do anything.
Oh, that makes, that's a good point.
So drink, smoke, gamble, whatever.
So, so whether that be 18, 19, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60, 60,
maybe I chose those, and I think that's enough for me, my globally speaking age, all
of that I guess, because looking at it now, okay.
They did all that in the middle of the 20th century.
And they're like, that's just true.
The first thing they do is make that他们 regularly and say, even if they had, you
know, middle taste, maybe they'll go be the same age butELL 30 now, it's not exactly
the same age.
They can be 30, 40, regardless of what, it is, they should all be the same age.
I guess there's a good now in my head.
There's like a moral like a legality.
They can say like, Oh, you can bang a 13 year old, I'm like, no, no, I can't morally,
It's disgusting.
I don't care what the law says.
because I can't do this anymore.
I can't handle all this.
You had your world rock last week.
Yeah, with the fucking CNC, CNC,
and I can't handle this age of concern.
I don't, you know what?
I'm not gonna have to sit with anybody.
Let me just cut my dick off.
Fuck all the noise.
Fuck our last episode
where you're just gonna get it pulled off.
Oh yeah, just get ripped off.
Get fucking chemically castrated, be done with it.
Imagine if I got chemically castrated,
I'd just be writing poetry.
The most profound shit everyone's ever heard
because I'm so pent up for not being able to get laid.
With no sexual desire.
Yeah, just I built a fucking timing machine.
And then you go back to not doing it.
Don't you cut your dick off.
This shit sucks, worse than I thought.
I don't know, like it's just really like
I'm taking a step back and thinking about it like,
no, no, no pee pee touching
till I figure all this stuff out.
Nobody, I'm not, I don't know.
I'm gonna go celebrate for like 16 years.
No more porn, no more nothing
until it has really rattled my brain.
Like if I lived in a different culture,
would I have a different mindset?
That would be like, well it's also like a morally noble person.
I guess I wouldn't steal, I wouldn't harm anybody
or I would be a decent human being.
But now I'm like, what if that's just like the culture
over here, let me be a different person somewhere.
Like I could be a drug dealer in Mexico.
I wouldn't even care.
I could be fucking just chopping people up
and throwing them over the fucking freeway.
And I'm like, am I a good person because I'm a good person
or because culturally I was raised in this environment
to make me a good person?
I think it's a little bit of both.
I'm fucking, I'm devastated.
Again, I'm right up to my core again.
Every day some shit happens that completely
just rattles my entire sense of existence.
Back to Mrs. Doubtfire.
From the tangent.
I can't help it, I can't help myself.
I am truly a man of immense mental thought
but I lack enough knowledge to know how to use it properly.
So many ideas.
So little way to articulate it.
To execute those ideas.
Yeah.
Well, again, like you said back to Mrs. Doubtfire.
Hello.
We have a-
Meet my cheeseburger.
We have Robin Williams who plays a character,
Daniel Hillard, who is a talented unemployed actor
after he quits his job.
He's not that talented if he's unemployed.
The reason he's unemployed is because at the beginning
of the movie he's doing voiceover work for a cartoon
where he does the different voices
for every different character and stuff like that.
I think it's like a take on Tom and Jerry,
Sylvester and Tweety.
Oh, wow.
Where it's not them but you can see
what they're trying to play at.
Oh, like a parody?
Yeah, yeah.
Where it's like there's a Tweety character
and then a Sylvester character.
Like Roger Rabbit was supposed to be a fill-in
for Bugs Bunny.
Yeah.
I guess Mickey Mouse sorta.
Yeah.
To this day I can't help it.
I'd be like, come on, Roger, you're not the first man
to find his wife playing panic attack with another man.
I don't know why I can't get over it.
I repeat that stuff to my head all the time.
But yeah, he got fired apparently
at the beginning of the movie because the cartoon
has the normal type of shenanigans that they're doing
in those kinds of cartoons where the cat's trying
to kill the bird and all that.
But then the end of that scene,
they're wanting him to voice over the bird
as it smokes a cigarette,
saying that it's a good cigarette basically.
And he starts changing it as he sees what's going on
where he's like, the cigarette is killing me.
And it pisses off the people that it's like, redo that.
You're supposed to say it in this way
because they're sponsors.
And he's like, well, if that's, fuck you.
And he walks out.
So he becomes an employee.
And that's how he becomes unemployed.
Man of good morals.
Because he doesn't want his kids to learn.
Yeah, cigarette.
That stuff, right.
So he's an unemployed actor.
I took one hit of cigarettes one time that was it.
I was like 11, I was like.
And I was like, fuck all that.
Cigarettes are not fun.
Cigars, not bad.
I'd probably swallow that shit too.
Yeah, but you don't breathe them all the way into your.
That's what I'm saying.
Like I'm like.
I mean, it's the same shit anyway.
I breathe them in so hard, they come out my ass.
All the smoke.
Just started just releasing.
It's like a blow.
So unemployed actor and a devoted father,
loved by his three children.
We have Matthew Lawrence that plays Chris.
We have Lisa Jacob,
who's playing the character named Lydia.
And then Mara Wilson plays a little girl named Natalie.
My name, my kids, Huey, Dewey and Louie.
Be like duck tails.
Yeah, exactly.
And they say woo hoo.
They're basically watching my big girls.
So they have normal names, right?
But like it'll be in parentheses Huey, Dewey and Louie.
However, his marriage to his workaholic wife,
Sally Fields that plays Miranda,
is increasingly strained as the uptight Miranda
has grown to dislike her husband's immature
and spontaneous behavior.
Oh baby, don't be like that.
I keep it fun and light.
Like he loves, like that's the one thing
that you see throughout the entire movie.
He loves his kids.
Must be really bad and bad.
Well, she never says that.
She says because he doesn't take stuff seriously.
Yeah, but I mean, come on.
If the bed was banging, that'd be the least of her problems.
The character Daniel, he hires a mobile petting zoo
and there was a large party for his son, Chris.
Despite knowing his wife would not allow it.
Oh baby, don't be like that.
After receiving a complaint from her nosy ass neighbor
at her business.
Oh, I would be fucking,
there's no two ever coming to my fucking work.
Because she's like a designer for houses
and stuff like that.
So you see the old lady pick up the phone and call.
Cause it's like, this motherfucker brought in.
If I can't have fun,
ain't no one having no fun around here.
Exactly.
So she calls and tattles on him.
Oh, she wasn't there?
No.
Wait, that.
He was gonna have it cleaned up by the time she got home.
Cause he was trying to like celebrate his son's birthday.
Yeah, but you have, the mom has to be,
that's a bit of a, not his part.
Like even though she had,
like you can't have a birthday party for your son
and the mom like, oh, sorry, honey.
That would be fucked up.
Well, she walks in, like there's a zoo outside.
Yeah.
The entire petting zoo.
There's a cop saying, ma'am,
you can't have these animals in front of your house
and do lids against the city ordinance
and all that kind of stuff.
Cause they're not supposed to have like livestock.
So he's bothering her as she's walking up to the house.
And she does that kind of like freak out thing.
Like, what the fuck?
She walks in, he's up there on a table dancing
with his two kids where they're dancing to rap.
Jesus.
I like the old school rap though from the 90s
before we got the mumble rap that we have now
where you can't understand a fucking word.
This is like Fresh Prince of Bel Air type rap.
Oh, well, who was in song?
Fuck, I remember the beginning where he like,
he gets into a fight, he gets helicoptered
in the fucking theme song.
One little fight and mom got scared.
Like he had them, like the guy picks him up
and like he just spins him around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then they actually referenced that guy.
And it's like a fourth wall break.
Yeah.
It's like, cause Will's telling him about the guy.
Like this one guy beat me up.
Like, ooh, you know the guy at the beginning of the theme song,
he spins me around.
And like that guy legitimately,
like from the fucking view,
you can tell like they sped it up.
But that dude was really spinning him around.
He was fucking hilarious.
Now, do you know the actual song to the beginning?
What?
In West Philadelphia, Born and Raised on a playground
where I spent most of my days.
And a little bit of it.
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing, all cool.
The woman was like, like, I got into one little fight.
Everyone was like, that's all I know.
Said moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
He gets fucking shot.
And then he whistles for a cab and went,
and had dice in him ear.
Someone, someone watched a lot of Fresh Prince of Bel Air,
more than me.
I grew up poor.
I came on UPN, whenever UPN still existed.
Ah, UPN.
Not the mail service.
You can have UPS.
No, this is the old school word.
It had the circle, the triangle, and the square
for the look.
UPN, us poor network.
Not.
I had UPN as well.
Us poor network.
Man.
Or your poor network.
No, yeah, I get that makes sense.
It's like, you're poor.
You watch this.
You poor network.
Enjoy some Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Exactly.
So after receiving the complaint at her business
from a neighbor, Miranda decides this is the last straw
in demand, it demands a divorce.
Oh baby, don't be like that.
Come on, baby.
Since Daniel has no steady source of income or home,
Miranda gets primary custody of their children.
Oh fuck.
Daniel has visitation rights limited to Saturday evenings,
devastating him as he adores his children.
And that is, again, that's the whole thing
of the whole movie.
He loves his kids.
And they don't hate him.
They don't like, you know how you get a lot of those
kind of like stereotypical movies
where they just hate the father anyway.
Like in this movie, the kids love their dad
where it's totally different than a lot of them.
The judge acknowledges this and agrees to consider
a joint custody arrangement if Daniel can hold down a job
and create a suitable home within three months.
Get to work, Daniel.
So when Daniel learns that Miranda intends
to hire a housekeeper and is unwilling to let Daniel
take care of his kids, he contacts Miranda on the phone
pretending to be an old lady.
After he does other calls before that,
that makes her think who the fuck are these people out here
where he's like, he plays the redneck lady where it's like,
shut up, cluckiness.
Yeah, I was calling about that job that you had.
So he's basically building bad employees
so that his Mrs. Downfire will be the one that she picks.
So he's a fucking sociopath.
Cause he can do voices.
So he does a bunch of different voices.
He's gone.
A lot of red flags up here.
He does like a Russian lady's voice where it's like,
the kids, they go to bed.
It looks like she just hangs out.
She's like, no.
Jesus.
So he contacts her pretending to be an old lady.
Hello.
She asks him his name.
So he looks at a newspaper and sees a headline
containing the words doubt fire.
Cause it's like a house fire or something like that
where it's like, there's doubt in the fire.
Like Kaiser Sose from unusual.
This is our sea of shit on the wall.
Yeah.
And he says, doubt fire.
Daniel uses his acting talents
and enlists the help of his brother, Frank,
which is a makeup artist.
I'll go into jail.
He's got his boyfriend there.
So like whenever he goes up to him, he's like,
make me a woman.
I think I want to be the old lady.
And his brother is like, she would never.
So, and his partner, Jack, the, the guy that plays Frank,
which is his brother is a Harvey first thing,
not Weinstein first thing.
God dang Weinstein.
And his gay partner is named Jack,
but he's played by a Scott Capuro.
I don't know if that's a famous person
that you would remember or not.
No, they might solve some back there.
You can see by face.
Yeah.
Well, his brother, you would know.
Like, I don't know.
I wouldn't know him by his name Harvey,
but you would know him if you had seen him.
Yeah, easily.
Cause he's been in a bunch of movies,
but he asks them to transform him
into Miss Euphagina Doubtfire.
Euphagina?
Euphagina.
Cause he's seen something that said like Euphia or something.
Oh God.
Like he just put the name together.
A 60 year old British nanny.
So he himself can apply for the position.
Miranda is delighted with Mrs. Doubtfire
and hires her on the spot.
The two quickly begin former friendship,
despite the children struggling to adjust
to their new caretaker.
Daniel as Mrs. Doubtfire is now able to see his kids
every day and uses this opportunity
to be the firm father figure he wasn't before.
The firm father figure.
Yeah, cause he used to be the fun dad.
Yeah, the fun dad.
Yeah.
The Phil basically.
Yeah.
To the Claire.
Yes.
From Modern Family.
Yep.
Eventually the children begin to respond favorably
to Mrs. Doubtfire's methods and Miranda is able
to heal her rocky relationship with them.
Cause she was always the one that was having to say no.
Yeah.
And even though when he had a job as a voice actor,
he was still the fun parent.
So he didn't have to deal with all that.
She heals her rocky relationship with them
and with Daniel as well, who begins to improve himself
through his alter ego by learning gourmet cooking
and refurnishing his new apartment.
Gourmet cooking.
Yeah, cause he had to learn how to cook
so that way he could be a nanny.
For a while, Daniel was able to keep up the charade,
despite nearly being discovered by his case worker,
Miss Sellner, played by Anne Haney.
And attempting to break up his ex-wife's relationship
with Stuart Dreemeyer, which is Pierce Bronson.
You're in the movie.
Pierce Bronson.
You're not beating Pierce Bronson.
Gale Vaughn.
And that's the, whenever the case worker comes over
to make sure that his house is clean for the children
and stuff like that to come over,
that's where you get that, oh, hello.
Hello.
With the whipped cream.
His face was like uncovered or something.
Yeah, yeah.
He shoved it in his cake and it's all the frosting.
And he's handing her a glass.
He's like, she said, a tea with two cubes of sugar.
And it's like, it just drips off his face.
Oh God.
And he's like, oh, there's two, oh, one more.
Jesus.
Just dripping frosting into her tea.
It's like.
Would there be a case worker in a divorce like that?
I had to check on it to make sure
that everything is safe for the children, yeah.
And at the mom's house?
In the 90s, yeah.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Like he's just divorced.
You just assumed both parents are capable.
But since he didn't have a job at the time.
Yeah, but it's at the mom's house though, isn't it?
So why is the case worker?
No, she's going over to check on.
Daniel?
Yes.
So basically what happened was,
is whenever Daniel was going home,
he was still dressed in his Mrs. Doubtfire suit.
Yeah.
So he had to go up there.
And when it like they met at Daniel's door
and she's like, oh, I'm his sister.
So he's just fabricating lie after lie.
Yeah, pretty much.
Just to see his kids.
That's all it ever was for.
So whenever they go up there into the apartment,
he has to play both characters
at the same time in the apartment.
Jesus.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm pretty much.
Like his brains down.
I just want to see my kids.
He attempts to break up his ex-wife's relationship
with Pierce Bronson, her new boyfriend.
I'm gonna do a Miss Doubtfire remake
where he ends up being a fucking brutal serial killer.
He just killed the case worker, Pierce Bronson.
He just fucking.
I want my children.
And then like the heart,
oh, hello, every time he kills one.
So his wife ends up killing.
I do not have a normal brain.
He also realizes he has trapped himself
with the Mrs. Doubtfire facade.
As when he once again asks Miranda
to take care of the children,
she responds that she could never get rid
of Mrs. Doubtfire.
You'll never get rid of me.
Oh, hello.
She has made their lives so much better.
And what's funny too is that every time he goes home,
he takes a bus after he leaves the house
that she like the kids and everything.
He takes a bus back to his apartment that he's got,
but there's this creepy ass old bus driver
where he's like, I like him the way he built like you.
It's another kill for Mrs. Doubtfire.
Oh, hello.
Daniel is discovered when Chris accidentally walks in
on him using the restroom.
That's another murder right there.
His son.
Now he's definitely sure turned quick.
I thought he wanted to see his kids.
Yeah, well, he said, I need to go get,
I think you can use the potter room.
And he gets up and he just blows that bathroom up.
No, he's standing up pissing.
Oh, fuck.
Be weird to see.
Because the door's closed.
Mrs. Doubtfire, you got it.
He's like, what the fuck?
You got some dick.
That's what he says, he's got everything.
Oh, God.
He then explains to Lydia and Chris
that he dresses as Mrs. Doubtfire
only to see them every day,
which it's like they're happy basically once they see them.
Oh, it's you, father?
Father?
He also warns them not to tell their mother
as he would likely end up jailed.
He might never see his kids again.
Oh, wow, some real fucking actual consequences.
I'm gonna jail, better keep your mouth shut.
And he also tells them not to tell
their little sister, Natalie,
that she is too young to understand
she might reveal the truth and tattle on him basically.
If you tell anyone, I'll kill all of you.
Just fucking losing his shit.
Both children are happy to have their father
back in their lives and agree to keep the secret.
Meanwhile, at the TV station
where Daniel picked up this new job,
where he's boxing film and stuff like that up
as a shipping clerk,
the station CEO, Jonathan Lundy, played by Robert Prosky.
You think you could be able to get
like another voice acting job?
Like you just immediately fell through the rails
and just start picking up a random job.
Well, I think whenever-
Did you fucking blacklisted him?
Yeah, I think that's what happened.
The CEO sees him clowning with toy dinosaurs
on the set of a children's program.
Fucking fires him.
Extremely boring.
Just fucking fires the fuck out of him.
And he's impressed enough to schedule a dinner meeting
with him to hear his new ideas.
Because he tries to make it fun for kids
instead of just, here's a barontosaurus.
What is it, Barney?
Just-
I'm Barney, how are you?
That'll be a hard move with Barney too.
With Barney.
I love you.
You love me.
That's the way it's gonna be.
I was like, Barney, you're scaring me.
Good.
So then you have Stuart.
He's planning to celebrate Miranda's birthday
by taking the family out to the same restaurant
at the same time that he's gonna be meeting the CEO.
And Mrs. Doubtfire is also invited.
So he's gotta meet the CEO-
And then it gets in sue again.
Yeah, pretty much.
Daniel tries to postpone his dinner with the CEO,
but the CEO is booked.
And Daniel realizes he cannot cancel the appointment
at that point.
You gotta get that job.
Yeah.
At the restaurant, Daniel attempts to rotate
back and forth between the CEO and his family.
I would just lie as Mrs. Doubtfire.
I'd tell Miranda, I got the shits.
Well, no, that's what he does as her.
Where he's like, oh, I need to go.
This is making me gassy.
Where he runs into the women's restaurant to change
and back into himself.
I was the one standing behind this older man,
like older man, standing behind him in a half-price book.
It's a good distance, not directed behind him, right?
And he just blew ass.
Just in front of everybody.
No one acknowledged, no one said anything.
I'm standing there all traumatized.
He hit me in the face right behind him.
Do you have hair in one of those flip-backs?
If I had hair, I'd have fallen off.
Oh, I did.
So it just went-
But that made him want to do it.
That was the day that you lost your hair.
That was a weird fucking, he just let out a fucking-
And it was like a mean fart, like fuck you.
Fuck you.
That type of fart that you hit so hard in the toilet
ripples the water.
Creates waves.
That's a fart right there.
So at the restaurant, Daniel attempts to rotate
back and forth between the CEO and his family
using the restroom to change back and forth
from himself to Mrs. Dalfire.
And he's getting more and more fucked up as the-
Like appearances back and forth?
No, as in like he's drinking with the CEO, Scotch.
Oh, so he just comes back all fucked up?
Oh, hello.
He also dumps cayenne pepper on Stuart's order of jambalaya,
an ingredient that he's allergic to, so he starts choking.
That's fucked up.
So he is a fucking serial killer.
He also becomes increasingly intoxicated
throughout the evening and forgets to remove his costume
before going back to the CEO tables once.
Is that some random old lady?
He covers for the mistake by explaining to the CEO
that his alter ego is merely his idea
for the new TV persona.
The CEO is once again impressed
and agrees to develop the character
into a possible television program.
Just making that money.
Mrs. Dalfire.
At that moment, Daniel notices that Stuart is choking
on the pepper and out of regret,
administers the Heimlich maneuver.
However, his mass tears off.
Wait, if he's allergic, wouldn't that matter?
Well, he'd just start choking on it.
I think like where his, whatever he was eating,
since he has an allergic reaction to it,
his throat was starting to close up a little bit.
So he couldn't swallow the food.
And he got caught.
Just fucking killing him in the process.
So he's wearing the Mrs. Dalfire's costume,
basically at that point.
So when he goes to go do the Heimlich maneuver,
he's like behind and just.
Just fucking raping his ass.
The whole mass falls off.
Like the Mrs. Dalfire mass falls off.
Revealing his true identity.
Horrified and outraged at who her housekeeper really is,
Miranda storms out with her children.
I don't blame her.
That's the most human reaction
I've heard in the whole movie.
At the.
You might go to jail too, if I'm being honest.
We didn't.
You shoulda.
At the later court hearing,
Daniel makes an impassioned plea to the judge,
saying he created the disguise merely to spend time
with his beloved children.
Please, I won't make it in jail.
He'll make me divorces.
All kinds of voices.
But the judge gives Miranda full custody of the children,
while limiting Daniel to supervised visitation rights
once a week, as he finds his behavior disturbing.
Thank you, judge.
A normal person.
This is real fucked up.
I'm being honest with you, Daniel.
Without Mrs. Dalfire,
the children again are withdrawn and depressed.
And Miranda admits that their lives were much better
with her.
However, they are surprised and delighted
to see Mrs. Dalfire and the star of the CEO's
new television program,
Eufagene this House.
Oh God, he couldn't change the name at least?
No.
It quickly becomes the highest rated program
in its time slot,
creating the possibility of the children.
Of 4 a.m.
Will be aired nationwide.
Upon realizing how happy the children are,
and she herself is, without Mrs. Dalfire,
Miranda pays Daniel a visit on the set,
and tells him that she doesn't want to keep hurting
the children over the custody issues,
and that she knows the children were much happier
with Mrs. Dalfire, and therefore their father,
and their lives.
She forgives him for his deceit,
sorts things out with the courts,
allows Daniel unlimited access to the children,
and the two make up.
Unlimited power!
Daniel picks up the kids to spend the afternoon with them,
and Miranda watches an episode of Daniel's show,
in which Mrs. Dalfire answers a letter from another child
of divorce asking for advice.
She explains that no matter what type of living arrangement
such children may have,
love will always maintain the bond with the family.
Oh, that's sweet.
So it ends in a nice way.
So they don't get back together?
No, them two, no.
That's interesting.
So they say divorce, but.
Imagine if they got back together,
and she makes them wear the Miss Dalfire outfit.
Oh, hello!
Hello!
In the bedroom like, ugh!
They both sound freaks.
That's sweet, that was sort of a realistic end.
Yeah.
To a ridiculous situation.
Yeah.
So within the entire thing,
that's the reason why I say it's not drag,
because he's not doing it for him.
He's not even doing it as like a performance
or anything like that.
He's just doing it as like,
this is the only way I can fucking see my kids.
Like, I don't wanna do this.
And then he got a show out of it, so.
Making fucking, making that money.
Making that bank.
Oh, hello!
I'm here to kill you now!
He'd be breaking the window down
instead of saying, here's Johnny, oh, hello!
He would have been falling off his face.
Oh, God.
That'd be horrifying.
You guys ever heard of the Misses Dalfire killings of 1993?
87 people.
87!
Fucking got crazy.
Be like, there'd be a sequel like 20 years later
where one of the kids survived.
Like, yeah, my father was a crazy man.
So overall, it's a, it's obviously a-
I haven't seen, I can't believe I've never seen that movie.
Yeah.
It's almost like one of those required viewings
from just American pop culture.
It really is.
Like, everyone's seen, you know,
like movies you've everyone's seen like,
The Wizard of Oz, The Lion King,
The Little Mermaid, Toy Story.
Yeah.
I've now seen Misses Dalfire.
And the sad thing is, is that by today's standards,
its runtime is extremely short.
It's like an hour and a half.
It's 130, huh?
Yeah, like extremely short.
And they still packed all that stuff into it.
It's good storytelling.
Yeah.
Now what happened to that?
I'm starting to think that like the studio
is just like kind of metal too much in writers.
I think so too.
Like, let them just write a good story.
I mean, look what happened with the Ciderverse.
Look what happened with Shazam.
I met the writer that actually like wrote Shazam.
Had a decent script.
And then they just, the Rock's like, nah.
We're gonna do it my way.
No, I'm the Rock.
The people's champ, the most electrified man in sports.
He said the whole line the whole time.
And then with all the requirements
that his contract shows.
Yeah, like I can't lose a fight.
I can't this or that.
Uh-huh.
Fight.
So it'd be hard to write under that constraint.
Yeah, I agree.
So like, I won't blame writers as like.
Completely.
Like I know, before I said like,
it's always the writers fault, but it can be.
Cause they have to be good writers
or they wouldn't get a job.
Unless they're doing a remake of a movie that exists.
I don't know.
Then it is the writers fault.
Cause you had nothing original.
So at that point I'll blame them.
Or whoever wrote, somehow Palpatine returned.
Whoever wrote that one.
Whoever wrote that line.
Whoever wrote the Star Wars movies, the last ones.
Oh my God.
Like you could have followed the fucking Star Wars books.
Don't try that again.
Have the high ground.
I love the prequels.
And the sad thing is.
You know what?
I guess the first one, the force awakens.
And then the second one was what was called?
The last Jedi.
I think so.
Yeah, the third one was called The Rise of the Skywalker.
They had a completely different story from the second one
to the third one was unbelievably different.
And someone like just tore it apart.
I think from the very first one they did.
Like apparently there was going to be like
a Sith entity that was so powerful
that Kylo Ren was going to run into
on some desolate planet.
It was like an entity of the Sith from like aeons ago.
And then he was going to have like a shadow fight
with Darth Vader.
There was going to be a fight on Coruscant.
Rey was going to get like a double blade sword.
Like it was going to be a staff, right?
But with two lightsabers on either end.
Like, and like they completely threw that away
and just put Palpatine.
Somehow Palpatine returned.
It was all a nightmare.
The way they killed Luke.
Yeah, it was kind of weird.
Like they gave him like, seriously, he's the last Jedi.
He's supposed to be like the strongest Jedi.
And then they just,
threw him off.
Forgot he has a stroke
and some distant planet and passes out.
Yeah, it was just stupid.
Like I said, if they would have followed the books
that were written after the movies, those chapter books,
all that, there was so much they could have used from that.
Like you don't have to follow the line perfectly
or anything, but since they become non-canon,
I think, right?
They're called the legacy.
Yeah, legends.
Star Wars legends.
Anything that's non-canon is called legends.
But they were good.
Like there was like the force ghosts of Vader later on.
A Vader ghost instead of Anakin?
Yeah, well, Anakin, like where he was without the Vader.
I'm handsome, I'll be one chop my fucking shit off.
So like you had the, you had force ghosts
and stuff like that, but I don't know.
Like there was just more lore.
Glad I'm not a Star Wars fan.
That, that, that-
Well, after I've seen that they made those non-canon,
it's like, well, fuck it all.
I was like, well.
And I never really followed Star Wars back.
Doesn't affect me that much.
Right.
As long as they can make Obi-Wan Kenobi the beast that he is.
Hello there.
He sucked at that shit in that movie, the TV show.
Oh, he was great.
He was horrible.
Hello there.
Explain to me how he lost all his fucking powers.
Guilt.
That's not gonna fucking make,
fucking bullshit.
Like the worst.
Like it's with Captain Marvel where it's like,
it's this thing where she can't use her full powers.
And then all of a sudden she can.
Also guilt.
Stupid.
I don't know.
Like at least come up with a good reason.
It's in their mind.
Well, what if he was just addicted to cocaine?
That would have been better.
That would have been a reason.
Yeah, he had this whole episode of him fucking detoxing.
Oh God.
Like his movie from, what was it called?
Transponding.
Where the actor that played,
Ewan McGregor played a drug addict in that movie.
He had a detox.
He was fucked up in that detox.
Being a baby crawling up on the fucking ceiling
and screaming at him.
And he's just like fucking sweating.
He's fucking dead.
He's just fucking falling apart.
So that movie will come out in Kenobi's detox.
They come back and beat up Darth Vader.
Well, I don't have Disney Plus
because shit's getting expensive.
Especially Hulu.
$18 Hulu.
You're not Netflix.
You're not even worth it.
You're not worth $18?
You're not worth 10.
I'll give you eight at the most for the,
give me the ads.
I'll take the fucking ads.
What I hated about Hulu is that even if he did pay
for the premium version with the no ads,
there were still shows that had their own ads.
It's like what the fuck.
I mean like Tooby has shown no one gives a shit
and he's like, I'm not gonna do that.
No one gives a shit.
No.
For ads.
That shit is free.
I'll watch it 15 ads if I have to.
And well they're like a minute.
So they're still shorter than what you would see
on like regular broadcast TV.
Yeah.
Those ads are fucking horrendous.
And they're like five minutes long.
So like my favorite show, my favorite late night talk show,
late night with Craig Craig Ferguson,
Craig Craig, the late late show with Craig Ferguson,
was, I looked at the runtime on Wikipedia.
It's like 39 minutes.
Right.
But the show's an hour.
So it's like 21 minutes.
20 minutes.
Of ads.
Yes.
Holy shit.
That's how every like broadcast TV,
that's how every show was.
So like Stargate, Stargate was an hour show,
but it wasn't an hour show.
It was 40 minutes.
Right.
And that was the like standard for a really long time.
And they would push for hour shows just to add more ads.
Yes.
Man, streaming services, they're getting expensive.
And ridiculous.
There's not enough quality to justify the quantity
of the amount, you know, the money.
No, not at all.
Hey, you can at least watch Mrs. Dalfar on Tubi.
Or you can watch Ahsoka on,
man, there's something about Rosario Das.
Nevermind.
I gotta go back to being Sullivan.
Nevermind.
I gotta let all those sins out of my fucking brain
till I can figure out this weird.
This world?
This weird like thing going on in my head.
No.
Watch me fucking ascend.
Like I'm just standing there like,
and I just fucking disappear.
You'd be like, what?
Well, if you guys listened to our last episode on Wednesday,
you would have heard in a way you learned a new word.
Have another fucking full on meltdown.
You would have heard a new word that he learned.
A new fucking, an entire fucking phase
or like kink that I cannot accept.
I will not accept it.
That is not an appropriate kink for anybody.
I don't give a shit what you say.
If it's consent, I don't get it.
Shut the fuck up.
Anything else before we head out?
It's like my brain is like too big for my head now.
Slowly unraveling at the seams.
Like a string holding me from the depths of madness.
We'll see you guys on the next one.
Bye.