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This is what we are covering tonight.
We are going over a list by Screen Rant, the most terrifying things from Batman.
His war crimes, basically.
Again, this is from Screen Rant, so we'll see how terrifying it really is.
I can probably think of some worse ones.
You said it was 15?
15.
I got 16 to start.
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podcast.
Number 16.
It's a TikTok.
This guy goes to this, I guess it's supposed to be McDonald's, and he's like, can I get
a water cup?
And the guy gets, it's funny because the guy gives him the water cup, right?
And the guy has all four of his fingers in the cup as he hands it to him.
It's very subtle.
If you don't pay attention, you miss it the whole time, right?
Because in the comics, only one person commented on it.
But when I was like, that's nasty.
Even the guy reacted like, what the fuck?
So he goes to get water, and he's looking at the water, like a little tab to press for
water.
And he's like, fuck it.
He doesn't say anything, he's like, fuck it.
And he starts putting the little water cup under the Sprite.
He's like, hell yeah.
He turns around, and of course, Batman's standing there.
He's like, is that water?
Batman takes a sip of it, right?
He's like, Sprite.
And then he beats the dog shit out of the guy.
He beats the hell out of him, right?
Like consistently.
And then he's like, you want Sprite?
And then he's fucking waterboards him with Sprite.
End of video.
You want Sprite?
It's fucking hilarious.
There's a lot of people that do that though.
They do the Batman being overly zealous?
No, I mean, like there's a bunch of people that try to get a free Sprite by asking for
a water.
Hey man, if I wasn't supposed to have it, it shouldn't have made it clear.
Yeah, but one's bubbly and one's not.
If your water's bubbly, you got other issues.
Hey man, my water always bubbles.
It's carbonated sparkling water.
Sprite.
The way you say Sprite.
And he just beats the shit out of him.
That is hilarious.
It would be funny if you were doing that though.
Batman shows up behind you.
Oh shit.
Or like there's that one where he's in a playground and there's somebody that throws trash on
the playground and he slides down the slide.
Deliring.
Yeah.
But this is a list from Screen Rant.
So we'll see how far this goes.
So they have a number 15, the last moments of the killing joke.
Alan Moore and Brian Bollins, the killing joke is probably the defining joker story
of the modern era.
And it's no surprise that it finally was adapted into animation this year.
Wasn't it also like, oh, it's now the canon or origin of Joker 2.
One of three, I think.
No, they said that was the original Joker.
Now they said because in the, the, the three jokers,
the killing joke joker is the original Joker.
And somehow he made two other jokers as his lackeys.
So they would be three of them.
Well, that's why they're all acting so different.
Yeah.
And the two of them die in the, in the story, leaving the original joker from the killing
joke, the actual joker.
So that's a better, that it's, it's a, it's a soft, it's part of the black label and not
their actual continuity.
Yeah.
But it basically said, yeah, the Alan Moore killer killing joke joker is the real joker.
That's how he became joker.
All that storyline.
Surprise.
Yay.
Cause I know that there was three different types of like, uh, mentalities of Joker.
Yeah.
It turned out it was three, three dudes.
Cause you got the killing joke joker.
You had the one that, uh, from the 1940s, that was campy.
And then you had like the gangster joker.
Yeah.
Like the more dark edge one.
Yeah.
Well, now we know.
Now we know.
Yeah.
And they never actually came out as, oh yeah, yeah, that's it.
Uh huh.
That's the one baby.
By showing the joker at his absolute worst and at the same time showing glimpses of a
more tragic backstory, it gives us a better understanding of the joker psychology than
almost any other story to date.
The book examines the twisted relationship between Batman and the joker, what it means
to both of them and questions how different the two really are.
The ending of the book also has one of the scariest Batman moments ever written.
Two different interpretations exist.
And while both differ tremendously in regard to future stories, either the joker is alive
or he isn't, both versions are equally disturbing.
Here's what we know for sure.
At the climax, after all the atrocities of the joker has committed to Barbara Gordon,
Jim Gordon, and so many others, the clown face mass murderer tells a joke and Batman
laughs with him.
What happens afterward is up to the reader.
In the panel above the in continuity explanation is that Batman is grabbing the joker's shoulder
as the two enemies share a laugh together for the first time.
Alternatively, many readers believe that he's grabbing joker's throat and that this story
is intended to be seen as the final moment between the two adversaries.
Batman has finally been pushed too far and as he snaps, strangling the joker to death.
Either way, this moment is totally instability.
It's terrifying to see from a normally calculated figure like Batman.
Well, spoilers, three jokers kind of split that one to rest.
You didn't fucking choke him to death.
I mean, if he did, that would have been where it looks like he's just holding his shoulder.
He's like choking the fuck out of it.
I did like that.
Yeah, because he just puts his hands like it's just so random.
Batman's like, oh, you're they're both laughing their asses off.
Right?
Yeah.
And like one one hand on the shoulder, another hand on the shoulder.
Then they pan down really slowly.
I'm like, well, you might fucking choke him to death.
It was just so out of character for Batman and Joker to have that weird like camaraderie.
Yeah.
Comaraderie.
I think it scared Joker too at the end.
He's like, oh shit.
What?
Oh fuck.
Number 14.
That time he became a vampire.
We did mention the whole drinking blood thing, considering that Batman has existed for three
quarters of a century at this point.
When did they what?
Yeah, he was a he was a.
No, we didn't mention the drinking blood.
When did they?
This is screen rant.
So they're expecting to read all their articles on Batman.
I have reference to what they're saying.
I would assume.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I'm not going to say that this is screen rant, so I'm not going to take credit for this one.
It was also a matter of time before someone wrote the story.
Luckily, it occurs in an alternate universe.
So we still get to read human Batman stories today.
Nonetheless, the Batman and Dracula trilogy stands out as one story that finally transformed
Bruce Wayne into a true creature of the night.
In the first part of the trilogy, Batman discovers that Dracula is real alive and preying on homeless
people in Gotham.
Sure enough, surely enough, Batman ends up getting bitten and transformed into a vampire,
which gives him the strength to defeat Dracula's horde.
He lures Dracula's forces to Wayne Manor, impales Dracula on a tree and then becomes
a new leader of the vampires.
By the third part of the trilogy, Batman is busy murdering and drinking the blood of all
of his old enemies until he finally kills himself by exposing himself to sunlight.
Dark very much.
I'd be I'd be taken aback if I hadn't read the fucking doom that came to Gotham.
It becomes a bad at the end of that one.
I'm kind of already there.
You remember that one?
Yeah.
Remember I gave you that book?
I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't handle it.
Then they made the fucking adaptation to that.
Yeah.
It looks good, though.
The adaptation.
Yeah, it doesn't look too bad.
It still turned into a bad idea.
Yeah, I think they just can't get rid of that part.
It was man bad.
Man bad.
Cacaw.
For some reason, like a bird.
You know, it's the only game non non horror game that gave me a jump scare.
Really?
Was Arkham Knight when you're walking you're climbing up one of those towers or a skyscraper,
right?
Yeah.
And the man bad pops out of you.
Just get a shot of me.
You're not expecting it ever in that game.
Yeah.
He's just like, no, that'll get you.
I forgot about that.
I forgot that that was actually in that.
I'm scared to shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, because it is.
It's very abrupt.
Yeah, because you've been climbing up fucking buildings the whole fucking game and all of
a sudden this motherfucking pops out of nowhere.
Just completely out of nowhere.
And like a completely mundane sequence that you've done for like three or four hours.
Right.
Yeah.
It's suddenly interrupted by a giant man sized bad.
All right.
Number 13.
The Batman begins the first appearance of Batman.
One of the common complaints about the Burton Schumacher Batman movies was always how robotic
Batman was.
Bucky, armored and rubber so thick he couldn't turn his head.
If I could turn my neck you'd be dead.
And usually marching down streets like a bat terminator.
The Batman in the 90s films was a sharp contrast to the fluid stealthy movements of the comic
book and animated versions of Batman, which disappointed many fans.
The big open reveal of the dark night in Batman Begins forever changed the paradigm.
First, Batman was portrayed less than a super cop and more like an invisible monster lurking
in the shadows, pouncing upon Falcone's thugs and turning them away from unknown fates as
the remaining ones fired into the darkness.
The most menacing moment, of course, is when the thug screams, where are you?
Here.
Yep, here.
This all accumulates in the scene where Batman rips Falcone from his car, announces his name
and then change the mob boss to a searchlight.
This is this was when Batman who had come from a horror movie, not a superhero flick,
and it made for one of the most memorable scenes in any comic book movie to date.
You agree with that one?
Come to think of it, Batman would never allow himself to have that weird, like, unable to
turn his neck shit.
Because it would be so tactically disadvantageous.
Yeah.
He would never have let himself have that fire.
I can't turn my fucking neck.
That shit would be that would get you killed instantly.
Yeah.
If you can't turn your fucking neck, he would never have come out like that.
He'd be like, what the fuck am I thinking?
It wasn't for Tim Burton.
Yeah, but it was dark, at least.
Yeah.
But I mean, like, that is that that's not a Batman trait for him to himself to give
himself such a horrible disadvantage.
But doesn't that show you how decent the films were that you really didn't pay as much attention
to that?
I paid attention because that's how my mental state and all the people didn't.
But he was like, you gotta turn your whole fucking upper body.
See, I was paying more attention to Catwoman.
So she didn't have that issue.
I never liked her in that movie.
She was scary.
Just scurried me.
She scurried you.
She had the whip.
You were thinking dominatrix, weren't you?
No, I was just thinking like, man, she is really rough around the edges.
Mostly towards the end, where part of her costume gets fucked up and her hair comes
out.
He's all fucking crazy looking.
Yeah.
Another thing about the Dark Knight trilogy, the new one with Christian Bale.
Yeah.
He also had a really slow fighting style.
Yes, he did.
That did not make any realistic sense to me.
No.
I'm like, this is bad, too.
Yeah.
Like it was bad for a different reason.
Yeah.
I'm like, no one would fight that slowly.
And that's how they had them.
But then you had Ben Affleck's Batman.
That wasn't bad.
That was Batman.
As much as I didn't want to see Ben Affleck as Batman, at least it was fast paced fighting.
When he had that actual, that was the best portrayal of Batman I've ever seen.
Yeah.
Just that one scene.
Yeah.
When we smash the dude through the floor.
He's just fucking throwing motherfuckers all over the place.
Like six foot two.
His suit's probably upgraded to have enhanced strength.
Yeah.
He's fighting guys three or four at the same time.
And wasn't it more of a take on the Batman Returns?
Yeah, a little bigger muscular one, yeah.
Yeah.
But that, that portrayal of that was good.
At least in my opinion.
Like that's something I could expect the comic book to do.
The only thing that he would have done if it was actually Batman was that he had knocked
the power out of the lights.
Yes.
Should have been complete darks when he started whipping their ass.
Yep.
So that's a Batman thing.
You can't do that for movies because then you don't even see nothing.
Well that's why we get to see it.
The villains don't get to see.
Yeah.
It's like, where is he?
Over here.
But him slamming people into walls and shit.
He punched a guy so hard he fucking came to the floor down.
No, the, uh.
And then they just did him dirty.
The rest of the fucking movies.
I will say though, the one thing I did like is the penguin, Danny DeVito fit that perfect.
The fag grotesque penguin.
Man, he was pale.
Yeah.
He's a pale penguin.
And he had flipper hands.
He did that really well though.
Number 12.
Batman Begins.
Swear to me.
Luckily for Batman Begins was filled with scary Batman moments.
And we're just going to roll right into the, into the next insanely freaky concept excerpt.
Christian Bale is Batman, electrocutes the screen whenever he appears.
More like a wild animal than a man.
Forming a sharp contrast to the movie's very human and vulnerable Bruce Wayne.
But as threatening as Batman may be when he's beating up criminals, he's a hell of a lot
scarier whenever he's interrogating them.
When Batman interrogates Flass, who swears to God that he's telling the truth and growls
the now famous line.
You are talking to him.
Basically what you're saying.
Yeah.
It's a moment that is as terrifying for the audience as it is for the crooked detective.
In that moment, it's clear just how much Bruce Batman, Bruce's Batman personality pushes
him to the brink.
All of the rage and inner torment that Bruce has experienced is seeping through his pores
and his voice is now no longer fully human.
Re-watching Batman Begins, it's worth noting how perfect Bale's Batman's voice is.
Though it became too exaggerated in the film's sequels, his Batman Begins voice struck the
perfect balance between man and beast.
You know, you know, my favorite line from that first movie was where he leaves Rajah
Ghul into into to dry in that fucking like it was, I guess it was that train that was
just fucking.
Oh yeah.
That was the thing.
Yeah.
It's still about the slam into a wall, right?
Yeah.
He's like, I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you.
I've done that line so much that I do it with a Mario accent now.
I want to kill you, but I'm not going to save you.
He shows it to Bowser.
Yeah, I want to kill you, but I'm not going to save you.
I know you're saying that the second part is so fast, but you know what I'm saying?
I want to kill you, but I'm not going to save you.
Imagine if they added that to a game.
Hey, man, I'm here when you when you guys need me.
I'm here.
All right.
Number 11, the Batman of Azar and R.
It's our and R. Yeah.
So barbecue sauce.
Over here thinking of food.
Here comes a beat.
I guess Luigi would be Robin.
Mario, I want to help you fight crime.
It's not up, Luigi.
You can't do it.
I want to help my brother.
I risk his life.
I have to save our parents.
So what's Peach?
I guess Catwoman.
Catwoman's not always being saved, though.
Peach doesn't either.
It's over 99 percent of the time.
He's a man of one percent.
I guess Bowser would be Bane.
It doesn't matter who we are.
All that matters is the plan.
So you really could change a bunch of them out.
I'm available when you guys need me to make a game parody of Mario.
I had a funny idea for a Halloween, right?
It would be like a fucking super accurate portrayal of Mario and Luigi.
Like, the costume would be like to a point, right?
They're like, damn, it's like a movie, right?
But over them would be a shitty Batman and Robin costume as if it was Mario and Luigi
trying to dress up as Batman and Robin.
But they do a really shitty job.
So it would be a great Mario and Luigi with a shitty Batman and Robin costume on.
Can you picture it in your head?
Like the suit for Batman is too big so Robin's belly goes over the bottom.
The mask doesn't fit right.
Luigi's is too tall so his shit's like too fucking short.
Shit is fucking hilarious to me.
See? We need to make that.
We need to make everything I do.
That should be royalty in Hollywood right now.
I should be making the moves for everybody.
Like, everybody, give me a studio.
You want to be the next Harvey Weinstein?
No, because I'm going to jail for his horrible fucking crimes.
I'm going to be the King of Hollywood at one point.
Not anymore.
All Kings fall eventually.
If I could write one good script, right?
I'm in.
I'm in because I read somewhere that a script writer's currency is a finished script.
Not a treatment.
Not a plot line.
Not a log line.
If you have a finished script that is your currency.
It's that good.
Like Rocky.
Like, for some reason, it's the loan.
He fucking, he made a script and he was able to star it himself because it was that good.
Yeah.
It's kind of like how I can't remember what, what production house turned down that movie
Sound of Freedom.
Sound of Freedom?
That came out not too long ago.
Yeah.
It's made like four times as money back now.
Fucking trillions.
Ow.
Hit my elbow.
All right.
For the Batman of Zaranar, Batman is so composed and methodical that sometimes it's easy to
forget just how tangled his mind really is.
After all, it takes a lot for someone to get in a bad costume and beat up criminals.
And even more for that person to devote their entire adult life to something as impossible
as eradicating crime, much less having the dedication to actually be successful at it.
At one point, Bruce Wayne volunteers for an isolation experiment wherein Dr. Simon Hurt
implants a post-hypnotic trigger into his mind.
The phrase is Zaranar, which is a mishearing that Bruce had of his father's final words.
They'd probably throw Zorro and Arkham before the man was murdered later on.
That's what his dad said?
Yeah.
Huh, that's weird.
He said that right before he got killed.
Later on, the black glove uses a Zaranar trigger against Batman.
Combined with a cocktail of drugs, resulting in an irrational amnesiac Bruce Wayne becoming
lost in Gotham's back alleys.
Bruce ends up putting together a rather odd costume and calling himself the Batman of
Zaranar, hallucinating a character called Batmite and causing all kinds of other crazy
happenings.
The brightly colored Batman is far more violent and dangerous than his regular counterpart,
though luckily Bruce has soon snapped out of it.
Huh.
Yeah.
He's kind of like crazy.
Wait, so is it like a zone self story or is it like Batman?
No, it's canon.
So Batman got tricked into some weird like mental...
Well, he volunteered for it.
Batman volunteered for some bullshit.
And like because he's still Batman deep down, but he was insane at the moment, he just made
some random Batman costume.
He called himself Batman of Zaranar.
That's so fucking weird.
I think I actually, I still have two of those comic books, but yeah.
That's weird.
Yeah.
It's like a, he looks like a homeless person besides something putting his costume together
and everything where he's got like all these rags.
Yeah, the only difference between him and a homeless person, he's like built like a
tank.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, you're not homeless.
Number 10, The Dark Knight Returns.
Frank Miller's classic The Dark Knight Returns, one of the most influential comic books of
the 1980s, tells the story of what happens to Gotham when Batman disappears and then
when he comes back.
But his return, though needed, isn't a glowing radiant sun in the sky.
It's a lightning bolt striking down on the forces that have corrupted the city ever since
he vanished.
During Batman's decade of retirement, Gotham is overrun by a gang of mutants.
Why is he...
So he retired at 45 then.
If Returns was 55?
Yeah, I think so.
Damn.
He wasn't that old when he retired.
Yeah, but imagine jumping off a wrist and shit.
Your legs would be fucked by the time you're 45.
He should be like fucking five foot two by the end of his career, honestly.
With his back broken, his legs fucked up.
My back's killing me.
Didn't they address that in The Dark Knight Rises?
Yeah.
I mean, just like you got no ligaments in any of your knees, your back's all fucked
up.
You guys are like, what have you been doing, Bruce Wayne?
Spelunky.
Steam.
Widespread corruption spreads and the United States prepares for World War III with the
Soviet Union.
Superman is now the government's loyal lapdog.
Finally, Bruce Wayne decides he's seen enough and becomes Batman once more, hitting the
streets with grim vengeance, leaving blood and broken bones in his wake.
The epic finale has Batman don an armored suit in a violent confrontation against Superman
that served as inspiration for this year's or whenever they wrote this by Screen Rant,
Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice.
Though the comic book portrayal of Superman is lacking, the battle itself is unforgettable
and it's no surprise that it finally made it to the big screen.
That tells you when the Screen Rant wrote this.
Did you bleed?
You will.
Martha.
You broke my fucking car, by the way.
Fucking asshole, I've got to walk on.
Number nine, locking up KG Beast.
Speaking of the Cold War Batman stories, another of the caped crusaders darker moments was in
Batman number 420.
Go figure 420.
He's a pothead.
Where his actions clearly violated his usual no killing code.
Wasn't this Azrael?
No, this was actually Bruce.
The story pits the dark knight against a villain named KG Beast, a brutal Soviet assassin sent
to kill 10 government officials, including the president of the United States.
Oh, and the president.
Oh, no problem.
Except one dude.
And the president.
KG Beast proves to be Batman's equal, succeeding at assassinating almost all of his targets.
At one point, poisoning an entire banquet of 100 people just to knock out the one he's
aiming for.
Got him.
He's so subtle.
Got him.
I got him all.
Even when Batman gets KG Beast hand tangled up in his back rope, the assassin grabs an
axe and chops it off.
Later, bro.
Later, replacing with a cut the rope in my hand.
You dumb mother.
Later, replacing with a cybernetic machine gun.
It's pretty clear that there's no stopping this guy.
And even if Batman does manage to capture him, he's only going to be shipped back to
the Soviet Union and released.
Finally, Batman ends up leading KG Beast to the sewers of Gotham.
At this point, Batman does the unthinkable.
He locks KG Beast into an underground room with no resources and no water or food and
walks away and walks away.
Let me die.
Yeah.
Damn.
Not something you necessarily expected from Batman.
But yeah, I won't kill you starvation.
Will die eventually.
What if he lost his mind?
And that was his rationale from now.
I won't kill you, but the fall will.
I won't kill you, but this knife will.
But these bullets will.
They just lose his fucking shit.
Like a bad, you're good.
You're legit killing people.
It wasn't me.
It was other stuff.
It was the it was the gun.
I won't kill you, but the batmobile will.
But oh shit, Batman's lost his fucking mind.
But yeah, apparently he did lock somebody up.
Look at the ego.
Left in me.
He's a horrible prison warden.
Number eight.
And hence the fear gas hallucination.
When you take a figure like Batman who uses fear to strike at the hearts of his enemies
and pair him up against scarecrow, a villain who achieves his crime and crimes through
the use of fear gas.
There's two things that everyone wants to know.
First, what does the fear gas do to Batman?
And second, what does Batman look like to someone under the influence of fear gas?
Since scarecrow has been rumored to appear in the movie since 1997, fans had been waiting
to see both of those things come to life on the big screen and Batman begins delivered.
The movie shows a glimpse of Batman via fear gas hallucinations, both of which are subtly
demonic.
In one, we are see we see him flying over the narrows with glowing eyes looking like
a name to his namesake.
The scarier and more memorable hallucination, however, is the one that scarecrow himself
experiences when Batman douses him with his own fear gas.
Batman's interrogation techniques are scary enough, but when complemented by the monstrous
vitiage above, it takes on a whole other level.
It's not so surprising that Crane goes crazy and starts riding a horse through Gotham soon
after.
Yeah, if I remember, Crane looked like he was getting a hard on watching Batman.
Look at that sexy monster.
He looked like he was excited as fuck.
Like he loved that shit.
Not to mention the actor Cillian Murphy, who played scarecrow.
He auditioned for Batman.
Did he?
Yeah, they didn't give it to him.
I don't know why.
There is test footage of him, you know, being Bruce Wayne.
Yeah.
And he was way too skinny.
If you if you Christian Bell was too skinny, Cillian, he was like five foot seven, five
foot seven Batman.
And we already had that with Michael Cheaton.
We don't need that again.
Let me be Batman.
Five foot three, but I'm a beast.
Let me be Bane.
I won't kill you.
I can't even do his voice anymore.
Wait, I'm not doing bad.
That's why I said I won't kill you.
Do you hear me, Batman?
I'm five foot three.
That would be funny.
I put on the mask.
Darth Vader said, you know, it's a burn.
That's why I love that.
I think Tom Hardy was five foot seven.
Yeah, I think he's five.
Every time they meet him, right, because they love him like, damn, I thought you were taller,
you know, no, no, the better.
How tall I am strong.
I hit number seven.
We have the death of Abattoir.
Now an important disclaimer here.
This Batman isn't Bruce Wayne.
So see in the comic books when Bane breaks, Bane breaks Bruce Wayne's back over his knee
just because he breaks his back.
Yeah, it knocks the caped crusader out of commission for a while and the void left by
Bruce's absence, a new man must take up the cape and cowl.
And that Batman ends up being Jean Paul Valley, formerly known as the assassin Asriel.
Asriel ends up being pretty far from an ideal Batman, employing violent techniques that
Bruce Wayne would have never been OK with.
In fact, Adrian is kind of crazy and increasingly delusional.
This culminates whenever his murder of the serial killer Abattoir, when Asriel of the
Azbat allows the villain to fall to his death in a vat of molten metal, a la Terminator
2.
And I can throw the thumbs up up.
Thumbs up.
An action which also indirectly results in the death of one of Abattoir's prisoners.
They was trapped inside a secret torture chamber.
Shortly afterward, Bruce Wayne comes back to reclaim the Batman mantle.
What the fuck, bro?
You let him die?
Exactly.
I'm like, there's a skeleton of a Soviet spy in the chamber.
Don't you ever talk to me about letting people die.
Don't you ever open your fucking mouth.
Yeah, but he didn't throw him into it.
He just locked the door.
So we are just nitpicking.
Pretty much.
Number six, JLA, the Tower of Babel.
The Tower of Babel.
Of course, Asbat is nuts, but even regular old Bruce Wayne has a dark side.
Really, his super cold hard calculations about everyone around him sometimes seems a bit
more super villainous than superheroic.
This trait comes to the forefront in the Justice League story Tower of Babel, wherein Ra's
al Ghul steals Batman's personal files and finds a pleasure that the Dark Knight keeps
meticulous records on how to take down each of his Justice League allies.
Ra's uses these exact methods to bring down every member of the Justice League.
Thanks Batman.
Of course, Batman would never have employed those methods except in an emergency, but
it's pretty creepy that he has them, especially considering their violent severity.
The assassination techniques that Batman devises includes the use of Scarecrow's fear gas to
make Aquaman aquaphobic, trapping Wonder Woman in an infinite combat scenario in a virtual
reality, a specially designed bullet that will cause the Flash to have super fast seizures,
as well as freezing Plastic Man with liquid nitrogen and breaking him into pieces.
Dirty tactics for sure.
You think Batman has nude photos of all of them?
Probably.
Why?
You asked the question.
I don't even know, why would you need to?
It's Batman.
Look at how George did again.
Batman.
I mean, sometimes people do stuff just to do them, I guess.
I guess so.
Number 5, The Dark Knight, the NSA style supercomputer.
Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy is a post 9-11 movie in every way.
Unafraid to address political issues relevant to today's world, The Dark Knight in particular
showcases the battle between Batman and the Joker as a battle of ideologies as much as
a battle of fists.
The conflict between order and chaos, controlled violence versus free violence.
While Batman is obviously the more heroic of the two figures, though you'll see some
articles which claim the Joker is the real hero if you look for them, he still comes
out of the movie with a pretty serious dent in his moral armor and some big questions
to answer to.
The Harvey Dent lie, of course, becomes a big part of the third movie, but Batman's
biggest, scariest moment in the film is when he reveals to Lucius Fox that he's got a
sonar supercomputer capable of spying on the entire city through people's cell phones.
Lucius immediately proclaims that once the task is done, he'll resign, since he believes
no man should have access to such an enormous violation of people's privacy, but he doesn't
have to quit, as it turns out, since this computer self-destructs once the Joker is
defeated, presumably since Batman agrees that it's too dangerous to exist.
But nonetheless, it is a violation of privacy, and Batman is guilty of committing it.
Sure, it helped him to defeat the Joker, because it was in Batman's hands, but imagine
if someone like Bane had found it.
I remember when he showed Lucius, right?
Like this is, Lucius is like, this is wrong.
And he said like, I'll help you this one time, because we got to stop Joker, but as long
as this is here, I won't be.
And then he tells him like, all right, when you're done, just put it in the password,
and you can leave.
And they say, what's the password?
Here's your name.
Or some shit he said, I don't know.
And Lucius types in the password, like, fucking, it's a great scene.
He walks away, right?
And he's walking, the shit just starts blowing up.
All the TVs start fucking exploding.
He's over here like, oh, thanks.
And then he just blows up and kills him.
That'd be fucking hilarious.
Or just takes him out.
By one time, the Batman miscalculates, like, oh, shit.
Number four, the entirety of Arkham Asylum, a serious house on a serious earth.
Oh, yeah.
That's a dark, that's also a really, what's the word, abstract art style they wrote.
They drew for that.
Yeah.
Shit is freaky.
If you want a glimpse into what it's like spending a night in Batman's mind, or the
mind of one of psychological, excuse me, psychopathic bad guys, then read Arkham Asylum, a serious
house on a serious earth, the trippy, horrifying 1989 graphic novel by Grant Morrison, no surprise
there, and Dave McKean, deeply symbolic, nightmarish, and surreal, with some of the most mesmerizing
artwork ever to be featured in a comic book.
Fucking trippy.
Yeah.
Apparently, the mythology they created there would later on influence the characters of
those villains.
So like, whoever's in those, their characteristics and personality traits carried over to the
rest of it.
That was how innovative it was.
It gave them those like weird psychosis that they had, those mental problems, and they
just carried on forever.
Because it's like it adds some continuity to everything.
It added like some depth to their character.
That just didn't make them villains.
They made them like criminally insane.
Arkham Asylum tells the story of what happens when Arkham's inmates take over the looney
bin and Batman goes into an investigation to see what's going on, only to have trouble
finding his way out again.
Arkham Asylum is notable for its unique characterizations of Batman's rose gallery, especially the
Joker and Two-Face, but its stark depiction of Batman himself earns a second glance as
well.
More than perhaps any other work, Arkham Asylum shows a dark knight who could very easily
be one of the inmates himself, with a climax that implies that maybe Batman fits better
in Arkham's walls than he does in the outside world.
Stark, emotional, repressed, and always lurking in the background as a shadow instead of a
muscle-bound hero, Arkham Asylum takes a deep, uncomfortable look at an iconic hero.
That's brave.
Showing your hero's flaws.
Yeah.
And then having him last pretty much his whole psyche now.
The whole like overzealous obsession with taking care of crime.
He does not take care of his body.
He's taking micro naps.
He's going to take my micro naps.
I gotta get back out there.
Number three, Batman Year One, The Dinner Party.
Dinner Party.
When it comes to classic Batman moments, this one earns a top spot on every list for being
simultaneously scary, heroic, and totally badass.
In Batman Year One, Batman makes his grand entrance into the Gotham scene in an unforgettable
way.
By dropping in uninvited to a dinner party, held for all the dirty aristocrats.
Aristocrats.
Yeah.
I love that movie.
As soon as I said it, I was like, yeah, he's going to know what that movie is.
Aristocrats, politicians, and mob bosses that collectively own Gotham City and have turned
it into a cesspool of corruption.
As these powerful figures smugly discuss how this rumored Batman figure could probably
be politically advantageous to them, Batman cuts out the electricity and drops into the
party.
As the ominous demon opening the gates of hell, Batman gives the men a brief iconic
speech that none of them will ever forget.
They should have had one of those birthday cakes where the dripper comes out.
Batman's like, ta-da.
He gets started whipping the shit.
He's like, oh my god.
His statement was, ladies, gentlemen, you have eaten well.
You've eaten Gotham's wealth.
It's spirit.
Your feast is nearly over.
From this moment on, none of you are safe.
And then he snuffs out the light in more ways than one.
He killed him?
That's the only way he murdered all of them.
That's the only thing I can think of.
Number two, Mask of the Phantasm, the first time he puts on the cowl.
There was one in the movie?
I would assume so.
There wasn't a comic book or anything?
Man, that is such an iconic scene where Joker's theme park hideout is blowing up and he's
defeated, Batman hit him so hard he lost a tooth.
That was the first time I saw blood in a cartoon, by the way.
Yeah, because it wasn't on a regular TV.
I was like, yo, he knocked his fucking teeth out.
And then the Phantasm has him by the collar, right?
He's on his knees in front of her and he just starts fucking laughing.
Starts laughing his fucking ass off.
And then they disappear.
And I'm like, man, Joker's on a whole other level when it comes to fucking insanity.
Yeah, he really is.
I might die.
I'm pretty sure that the implication was he did die, wasn't it?
I don't know if he actually did or not.
Because he was going to kill him because he killed her father.
I think so, yeah.
So she's like, and there was no way for him.
He was like done.
And he just starts fucking laughing.
I get the joke now.
This is the reason they say, though, there are a few things that fan base collectively
revere as much as Batman the animated series.
With its dark colors, dark deco backgrounds, and tremendous writing, this cartoon is one
of the most influential of all time, arguably having created more fans of The Dark Knight
than almost any other media depiction.
That's when I met him.
Yeah, same thing.
But the high point of the cartoon came not on TV, but in the feature film inspired by
it, Mask of the Phantasm.
Hell yeah.
Alternating between a present day storyline, wherein a figure called the Phantasm is murdering
aging mob bosses and a storyline in the past that shows how Bruce Wayne's love for a woman
named Andrea Beaumont or Balmont almost led him away from becoming Batman.
One woman pulls you away from all your hopes and dreams.
All your aspirations claws you away.
Mask of the Phantasm is a unique depiction of Batman's origins.
Unlike most versions of the story, wherein Bruce's evolution into the cape and cowl is
presented in a more positive light, Mask of the Phantasm dares to show us how Bruce Wayne,
who came within inches of having a normal life, falling in love with Andrea and actually
being happy, only to have it snatched away by fate.
So when the movie finally depicts the outrageously epic moment wherein Bruce Wayne dons the mask
of Batman for the first time with the music swelling, it's not a triumphant one.
As he puts on the cowl of Bruce, the man is forever surrendering himself to Batman, the
icon, and doing this, he forgoes any chance at a happy life that he may have had otherwise.
In that moment, Bruce Wayne is abandoned and only Batman remains.
It's no surprise that upon seeing this new dark night, even Alfred is startled.
Happy wife, happy life, Batman, Alfred.
Happy wife, happy life.
Just like it walks in.
And then last one, it's one I had never heard of.
Batman has transformed into Bat-Baby.
Bat-Baby?
But honestly, this is what Screen Rant puts.
As terrifying as many of these moments have been, there's really nothing scarier or more
bizarre than the cave crusader being transformed into a toddler and still being depicted enough
to continue his war on crime.
This is the result of a villainous scientist of the pre-dc, pre-crisis DC sword hitting
Batman with some funky sci-fi gun that de-ages him into a younger form.
Luckily, Bat-Baby retains his adult intellect, strength, and agility.
Oh, God.
So he's able to continue being the vigilante he was before.
Once he makes it a costume that fits his new size, that is.
Sure, sure, it's funny.
Hilarious, even.
But imagine for a second, what would it be like in real life?
Imagine seeing a Bat-Baby crash through the skylight in those dumb black overalls and
having him kick you in the face with those little shoes.
Jesus, imagine him just fucking dragging you to the edge of a roof right, he holds you
over.
Talk, talk or you'll get this pinky.
Say, no, not the pinky.
Imagine him making threats or interrogating you in an obnoxious squeaky little voice.
Imagine fucking Joker would be rolling his hands, he would retire.
He'd be laughing so hard.
As Robin stands in the background snickering.
Actually, you don't want to be subverted, like Joker doesn't laugh.
Yeah.
He actually takes this version of Batman seriously.
What if he was the only person, it's like the baby Batman will as we meet again, huh?
That'd be crazy.
Seriously, Bat-Baby, if it's not that nightmare fuel, then we don't know what is.
Luckily, the whole Bat-Baby incident was short lived.
I gotta love those good old pre-crisis days.
Jesus, they came up with everything back in the day.
Bat-Baby.
He had so much strength and his intelligence and everything.
I imagine him going through rooftops, instead of him jumping around, he would just be tied
to Robin in one of those little baby seats to his chest and Robin would be jumping around
for him until they got to the location they needed to go to.
She would be like, put me down Robin, it's time to get to work.
Change my diaper Robin.
The night calls.
My diaper's full.
I am the night, then he sucks on a pazzle.
Didn't they do something similar to that though?
Yeah, Justice League.
They were like adolescent.
They weren't teenagers, but they weren't babies.
They were like 10 or 11.
Yeah, and Batman was still Batman.
He kept turning away Wonder Woman, even her advances at that point.
They wouldn't even be advances, it'd be childhood like crush.
But he still turned her down.
They got time for women.
That's basically what it was.
Oh Batman.
Even at that age, fuck you Wonder Woman.
My only love is crime.
Now watch, he's the one that commits it all.
Oh man.
Those are the most terrifying moments that Screen Rant came up with though.
And that bad baby breaking through the skyline, my it's a bad baby.
I guess that would be kind of terrifying.
Not terrifying like his oh god run, but more of like what the fuck is that?
Then he kicks your best friend standing next to you, like he's jaw cleaning up his body
with his size two shoes.
He goes boom, you're like oh shit Gary.
Gary's in a coma for the next 15 years.
Because of bad babies.
Then he does little miniature like batarangs to fit his hand right.
They go straight in your eye, all the way to the back of your skull, like they just
cut right through.
Or he throws it wrong way and goes down your throat.
Things that a normal batarang would never have.
Like it would cut your mouth, sure.
I don't think it goes straight down your throat, all the way to your gut.
You shit it out like three days later, because of your asshole.
It's like damn you bad baby.
Yeah that's all I got though.
Anything else dad?
No.
Cool.
I'm tapped out.
We'll see you guys on the next one.