1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:16,560 Hello and welcome back to Reddit Insanity number 23. 2 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,080 We have a couple of funny ones for you today. 3 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:23,780 The first one is by SweaterStripy83. 4 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:28,160 This person puts, I can't actually believe this conversation just happened. 5 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:33,280 The sheer entitlement and ridiculousness of it made me laugh but also left me speechless. 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,280 I ordered a mug from Amazon as a gift for my best mate. 7 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,920 The mug had the word cunt on it, with the C as the handle. 8 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:43,920 Cute mug would recommend. 9 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:44,920 Anyway. 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,800 That only works if you're holding it with your left hand. 11 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:48,800 Yes. 12 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:49,800 Yeah. 13 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,800 Anyway. 14 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,800 Oh. 15 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:52,800 Yeah. 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,560 There is a house on the street next to mine that has a very similar address to mine, and 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,400 I will often get their post and they sometimes get mine. 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,380 For example, my address would be something like number 6 random street and theirs is 19 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,400 number 6 random side street. 20 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,400 What the fuck? 21 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,640 Oh, he's just making a random word? 22 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,640 Okay. 23 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,640 Yeah. 24 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:15,880 It's annoying as they are different, plus or minus one word, but the names of myself 25 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:20,120 and that family are so wildly different that you would think the postman or any delivery 26 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:24,520 driver might have gotten used to it by now, but I digress. 27 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,800 I had the notification from Amazon to say my mug had been delivered and in the safe 28 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:29,800 place. 29 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,800 Yay. 30 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,000 I go to check and it isn't, so I go around to the similar address to see if it was indeed 31 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,240 there and got no answer. 32 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,600 I decided that I would try again later and or they will bring it over before I contact 33 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:42,600 Amazon. 34 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:47,880 A few days pass and they don't bring my parcel around, so I get Amazon to replace it, but 35 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:52,200 then half an hour ago, there was a knock at my door. 36 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:57,520 I open the door to the father of the family at a similar address holding my Amazon parcel 37 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,980 that's been opened and he quite literally throws it at me. 38 00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:05,600 Before I can form the words, he says, my 11 year old child opened that. 39 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,540 Don't you ever order something so disgusting again. 40 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,540 How dare you. 41 00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,680 Bitch, it's my fucking house. 42 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,400 And started to storm off. 43 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:18,280 I register what the hell he just said and I shout to him, wait, what the? 44 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,160 No one should be opening my post anyway. 45 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,820 It's criminal offense. 46 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:27,720 How dare you have the cheek to come over to my house and berate me for opening my post. 47 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:32,120 He just waved his hand as he dismissively and carried on walking. 48 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,240 I just stood there for a good minute and trying to figure out if that actually happened. 49 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,240 Well it did. 50 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,200 And now I have two cup mugs. 51 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,320 I'm so tempted to leave one on the door on his doorstep with a note saying you can keep 52 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,320 it made. 53 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,320 It's definitely been made for you. 54 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,320 I would too. 55 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,320 Fuck that motherfucker. 56 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,320 They opened it in my fucking mail. 57 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,120 And then complain what it says. 58 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,640 You know, don't give a shit what it is. 59 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,880 If you open my mail, don't you fucking throw it back at me. 60 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:01,360 I knew a dude that worked at Amazon and he said, do you know how many dildos we ship 61 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,360 out every day? 62 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,600 Imagine that's quite a fair number. 63 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,600 I once bought a a a cock mug. 64 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,400 It was a it was a literal mug. 65 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,640 It completely shaped like a cock and balls. 66 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:22,920 So the base, the cup is the big old balls with like hair drawn on them. 67 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,920 And the handle is just a floppy dick coming all the way to touch the bottom of your ballsack. 68 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,760 Get a little kiss at the bottom. 69 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,480 And I tried to give it to one of my friends and she didn't want it because she was married 70 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,480 and she had kids. 71 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,920 Like what if my kids see it? 72 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,920 Somebody told me it's a dick. 73 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:38,920 What do you mean? 74 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:45,800 I'm just being like I'm being like, what's the word? 75 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:46,800 Idiot. 76 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,160 What's the word I'm looking for? 77 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:54,480 I'm being consciously careless, I guess. 78 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,920 Yeah, like I know like it don't have a dick around kids. 79 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,280 But I'm being that part like you. 80 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,280 What's the problem? 81 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,280 I'm pretending like I don't understand. 82 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,280 You know, I understand. 83 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,880 I'm just putting I don't. 84 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,640 So then I give it to my lesbian friend. 85 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,480 And she loved it. 86 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,760 See, that's the perfect gift, though, because they don't want they don't like them anyway. 87 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:16,240 So for some reason, any like memorabilia or any paraphernalia, what is it? 88 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,240 Paraphernalia. 89 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,600 Yeah, that's like any cock shave. 90 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,600 They'll take it all. 91 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,640 And she just drank it from her mom and her mom's what the hell is that? 92 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:29,720 Like is my dick. 93 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,520 I got to buy another one just to have enough. 94 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,640 All right. 95 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,640 Next one is by Seaworthy Zebra 5124. 96 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:45,720 I got to take a shit. 97 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,720 You were saying? 98 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,720 We'll cut it off. 99 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,720 You don't have to. 100 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720 No, I mean, we'll cut. 101 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,720 You don't have to. 102 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,720 Yes, people, I might have to take a shit at the moment. 103 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,640 So I'm saying we can we can quit recording. 104 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,640 No, I can wait. 105 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,640 No, I'm kidding. 106 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,760 Go ahead. 107 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,760 I don't want to turtle him. 108 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,760 Hey, man, if it gets too serious, I'll know. 109 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,760 It's not the table. 110 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,640 That shit. 111 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,880 All right. 112 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,840 This person puts background first. 113 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:24,600 I teach Kenpo karate as a second degree black belt. 114 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,760 Kenpo Kenpo Kenpo Kenpo. 115 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,440 They're like like the samurai martial art. 116 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:32,840 We like the wooden sticks. 117 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,760 It's kind of OK. 118 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,760 Kenpo. 119 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:36,760 I just heard of it. 120 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,760 I love karate. 121 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:43,080 I guess I also have an assistant, Ciara, a first degree black belt in her own right. 122 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,080 What's her real name? 123 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,040 It doesn't sound like a person. 124 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,120 I don't own the gym. 125 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,320 My instructor does. 126 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,080 But since he's gotten older, me and Ciara handle handle the younger classes while he 127 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,920 handles the business side of things. 128 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,200 Plus the adult class. 129 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,800 We have three classes, kids age five to 10. 130 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,120 Intermediate in that class. 131 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,560 I'll be a black belt at no time. 132 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,160 Intermediate 11 to 15. 133 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,160 I'll be that class too. 134 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,160 I don't know if there's some big 15 year old. 135 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,160 Yeah, look at it. 136 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:18,040 Fucking six, four, two hundred ninety pounds playing junior varsity football. 137 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,040 I'm like, God. 138 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:25,000 And then adult class ages 16 and up. 139 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,600 So wait, they sure just like it was like it went from 15 and 16 is OK to deal with a full 140 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,600 grown adult. 141 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,840 Yeah, because there's some big 16 year old. 142 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,640 Like a six, five, two hundred and ninety one pounds. 143 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,840 Have you seen some of those high school football players? 144 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,840 Yeah, I have. 145 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,840 Like a freight train. 146 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:48,880 Biggest Debo and shit. 147 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:49,880 Ohio State. 148 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,680 They always have to say their name and then whatever. 149 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,720 A lot of them were like CSU. 150 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:04,200 It's hard for them to even remember what college they went to. 151 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,200 College one, two, three. 152 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,800 Half the time it's like, yep, there's nothing else you can do in life. 153 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,800 This is all you can do. 154 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,440 You were born for football, sir. 155 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,160 But I'll tackle them, right, coach? 156 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,200 It was a real strange time. 157 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:24,120 They had me run in and then stop it from Forrest Gump. 158 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,480 I was always running and stopping. 159 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,320 I can't remember who said the joke, but the funniest joke I've ever heard about football 160 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,240 was whenever they said, imagine if it was a gay guy on the opposite side of you. 161 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,400 He said that'd be the perfect person to have as a teammate, because whenever they go to 162 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,600 go tackle somebody, they're attacking. 163 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,800 They're going to go tackle them with love or their heart and they're going to come after 164 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:44,800 you. 165 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaking about football, did you did you see that absolute murder of all you did? 166 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,040 The fucking hell is are they? 167 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:59,760 How are they not in jail for the fucking war crimes they committed? 168 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,320 73 and 0. 169 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,320 What the fuck happened? 170 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,840 What the fuck did that opposite coach do to them? 171 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,240 What happened? 172 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,600 All my cousin kept telling me all day yesterday was like, well, they're a 50 and four and 173 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:14,600 0 now. 174 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,600 And I'm like, what is going on? 175 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,840 It's like the mercy roll. 176 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,560 Is someone playing basketball? 177 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,560 They didn't tell him? 178 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:30,080 The fucking coach of the opposing team took a knee in tears and then one of the players 179 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,400 said, it's OK, coach. 180 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,400 I wouldn't want to work. 181 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,160 I wouldn't want to play for that coach anymore. 182 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,680 No, he's got fucking pissed on his face. 183 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,760 They couldn't even make a field goal. 184 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,080 What happened? 185 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,760 What was you trying to prove that they're back? 186 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,160 Maybe by wrecking some random team. 187 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:56,720 Let's see, the funny thing is if they get too cocky about beating the team that's not 188 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,840 really all that great to begin with, and then they go up against anybody else in the big 189 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,920 12 right now and they go in there with a cocky attitude, they're going to get the shit beat 190 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,920 out of them. 191 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,920 I mean, look what Colorado did. 192 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,920 What do you call it? 193 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,920 TCU destroyed them. 194 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,840 Colorado wasn't always the greatest team. 195 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,000 What division are they in now? 196 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 They're still in the big 12 right now. 197 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Oh, they are? 198 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Next year they'll be in the SEC. 199 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,120 OK, gotta get them Gators back. 200 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,120 Did we win the 2005 national championship or not? 201 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,520 Was it in the Gators versus OU? 202 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,920 I believe so. 203 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,960 I think the Gators won that year. 204 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:36,960 Gators. 205 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:37,960 Yeah. 206 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,720 I know OU has a fuck ton of championships already. 207 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,720 Yeah. 208 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,720 That way they're still trying. 209 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,320 Here's the thing about having championships, right? 210 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,720 There's always space for more. 211 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,720 Yeah. 212 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,960 That's the way I look at it. 213 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,800 People say like, do you really want to win all the time? 214 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,800 Yes. 215 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,240 I'm like, no, because I don't want to lose. 216 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,040 I follow Ricky Bobby's philosophy. 217 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:04,120 If you ain't first, you're last. 218 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,680 All this humble like, you got to be Michael Jordan. 219 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,920 Get them six fucking rings. 220 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:10,920 Fuck everybody. 221 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,520 Did you see him destroy that other dude? 222 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,720 It's from a few years ago, but like they tried to play one on one with Michael Jordan because 223 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,040 they thought they were better than him. 224 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,040 Oh my God. 225 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,040 He's still that good? 226 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,040 Damn. 227 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,040 I guess that dude, yes. 228 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,040 Imagine him in this prime then. 229 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,040 Yeah. 230 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,040 Because this dude was talking a bunch of shit. 231 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,040 And he's like, okay, one on one. 232 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,040 Well. 233 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,040 He's like, well, you don't fuck no. 234 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:36,040 It'd be like if I was like, man, I could fuck Mike Tyson. 235 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,040 I could take him on one on one. 236 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,720 Today, he'd still be my ass. 237 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,720 And then let's pep out it. 238 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,320 Before you rip one of my ears off. 239 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,760 Yes, exactly. 240 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:55,280 Even like if he was like on his deathbed, he'd still be my ass. 241 00:10:55,280 --> 00:11:00,800 Did you really have a e-bike called My Bike Tyson? 242 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,840 My Bike Tyson. 243 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,760 The company's name is My Bike, but then they have a model called Tyson. 244 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,760 Very clever marketing. 245 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,200 I bet you Mike Tyson found a beat the hell out of the guy. 246 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,200 What did you put on the app? 247 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,200 What the fuck did you say? 248 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,200 Boom. 249 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,360 I don't think he's ever kicked a day in his life. 250 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:18,360 He just fucking punched everything. 251 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,360 Yeah. 252 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,360 Yeah, but I don't know. 253 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:27,520 Like, oh, you just like they lost their fucking minds. 254 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,680 I've never seen a fucking man, a grown man cry that much. 255 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,840 He was just like sobbing. 256 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,880 And then like the other coach on the OU teams like, man, I should go for the 80. 257 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,320 You know, they've done that before. 258 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,320 What? 259 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,320 81 nothing. 260 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,320 81 or 80 whatever. 261 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,320 Nothing. 262 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,320 They do a man. 263 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,720 Yeah, they've won by even more. 264 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,680 They've reached the 100 digits. 265 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,680 So. 266 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:51,680 And zero? 267 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,840 Or did the other team at least get something? 268 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,720 It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure there's been like 100 and nothing. 269 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,720 Man. 270 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,400 When OU plays like the way that you would expect them to? 271 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,920 If they would fucking actually beat somebody, that would matter. 272 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:06,920 Yes. 273 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:07,920 Instead of just ruin some man. 274 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,600 That man's getting fired for sure. 275 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,600 His wife's going to leave him. 276 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,640 His kids like, get the fuck off. 277 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,640 He can't even beat OU. 278 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:19,240 He tries to grab his son like, son, I'm talking to you. 279 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,000 Like, get the fuck off me. 280 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,640 What's funny though is that OU had that blowout of Arkansas State, I believe is who it was. 281 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,640 Yeah, it was. 282 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:27,640 In OSU. 283 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:28,640 Or either Arizona or Arkansas State. 284 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,640 One of those. 285 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,640 It might have been Arizona. 286 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,640 I don't know. 287 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,120 I know, but it wasn't the main team. 288 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,120 That was for sure. 289 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,800 And the funny thing is that OSU was playing the other team. 290 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,160 The good team? 291 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,160 No, that's playing like a, it's another crappy team too. 292 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,240 But they barely won. 293 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,240 Hey man. 294 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,360 They had to work for their shit. 295 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,120 The New York Giants barely lost to the Patriots. 296 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,920 But they still lost? 297 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:56,600 No, I'm talking about like the game before the game. 298 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,080 The game before the game, they barely lost to the Patriots. 299 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,960 So what you're saying is that next time OSU plays them, they're going to lose? 300 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:10,960 I'm saying like, even if they won by a small margin, like it's not, it's never like, you 301 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,920 can predict this team or that team will beat that team because this team beat that team. 302 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:14,920 You know what I mean? 303 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,920 No. 304 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,760 So like they may have lost by that much today. 305 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,880 That's why I'm saying, OSU does not need to get cocky. 306 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:21,880 Yeah, they do. 307 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:22,880 They're OSU. 308 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:23,880 That's OSU. 309 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,880 Boomer sonar. 310 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,320 I just know how the last few years have been. 311 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,840 So well, we'll find out I guess. 312 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:38,880 I'm not even that big of a sports guy, but man, I do love me some drama. 313 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:44,760 When you say those numbers, when I saw that man broken on the other side of that fucking 314 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:49,040 field, I was like, that's a man that William Shakespeare could write a play about. 315 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,040 The tragedy. 316 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,040 Yeah. 317 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:58,320 The tragedy of Arkansas State with a heavy hand, a lead, a lead knee. 318 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:03,480 He fell down, defeat clearly in sight. 319 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,320 A man that would never be the same again. 320 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,640 Phil, you're just on his shoulders. 321 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,480 His last chance of redemption broken by a team with no mercy. 322 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:17,120 This is the story of Arkansas State coach. 323 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,120 Whatever the fuck his name is. 324 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,840 The nameless coach. 325 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,240 He was a man before this game. 326 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,240 But after that, who knows? 327 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,280 That's how they write those documentaries. 328 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,360 A simple phantom in the wind. 329 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,760 No home to call his own. 330 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,760 Moving on. 331 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,120 All right, so again, there was three classes. 332 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,120 Oh yeah. 333 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,120 He's my karate. 334 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,120 What the fuck? 335 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:49,520 So this person puts, so kids class had just ended. 336 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,520 Put me in that one. 337 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:56,040 When a woman walks in with her son, she says he's a 13 year old and he wants to take karate 338 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,040 lessons. 339 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:03,200 So I shake hands with her and have her sit down while I instruct her to fill out the waivers 340 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,320 and get him his GI measurements. 341 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,320 A waiver? 342 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,320 It's our GI. 343 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,160 So if we break the kid's face, it's not on us. 344 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,960 Other students file in for the intermediate class and me and Kiara get down to business. 345 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:16,960 The waivers. 346 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,960 We get down to business. 347 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,640 I take the bulk of the class around 15 kids while Kiara goes with the new student one 348 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,280 on one to teach him basic strikes and stances. 349 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,160 Not five minutes later, I hear Kiara upset. 350 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,800 Telling the new kid to do 10 pushups. 351 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:33,800 Why? 352 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,760 Well, he called Kiara, who essentially a volunteer, a fucking bitch. 353 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,160 Damn, boys got some balls on them. 354 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:44,840 Karen, is what we're going to be calling the mother, stands up and says her son can't 355 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,440 do pushups as she doesn't want her son to be sore. 356 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,280 If he can't do pushups, he can't do karate. 357 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,960 Kiara lets him do the pushups on his knees, but not five minutes later, she makes him 358 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,360 do 20 more since he's called her now a slut. 359 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:02,540 For reference, Kiara is in her early 20s and the boy is 13. 360 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,460 Not to mention there's other parents and kids here as well. 361 00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:06,960 It's wholly inappropriate. 362 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,120 So I walk over and ask Kiara to switch with me. 363 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:13,740 As she does, she gives me the bug eyes and mouths, what the fuck? 364 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:18,120 So I walk over and asked the boy why he insulted my assistant, Kiara. 365 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,360 He said he doesn't like girls. 366 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:25,840 When I asked him what he meant, he said he only listens to his dad and other boys. 367 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,080 What about his mom? 368 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,680 Apparently, he probably tells her off too. 369 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,160 He won't listen to me at all. 370 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:37,880 He needs some discipline, the mother confirms to me, chuckling, as if raising a monster 371 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,040 is something to laugh about. 372 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,640 When I do get a black belt, sorry, when do I get a black belt like you? 373 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,880 The boy asks me. 374 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,740 Mind you, he's been punching the air the entire time. 375 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:51,680 This boy is aggressively hyper. 376 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,520 Well, it takes quite a while. 377 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,520 I've been training since I was five and earned my black belt whenever I was 21, so it took 378 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,520 me a while. 379 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,960 He says, no, I don't want to wait that long. 380 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,840 I want mine now, he says, his chubby face now red and sweaty from shadow boxing. 381 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,160 So I tell him, then fight me. 382 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,440 The mother motions me over and whispers in my ear, do you think you can just give him 383 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,760 one, just to make him happy? 384 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,360 I'll give him one all right when I take this one off and beat the hell out of him with 385 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,360 it. 386 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:21,160 He says, no, sorry, he has to earn one. 387 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,680 We aren't a belt factory. 388 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,600 That's a good line. 389 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,040 Well, he never gets told no. 390 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,320 Well, he better learn before he becomes a rapist. 391 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,920 I'm sorry, but that's not how we do things here. 392 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:35,920 I have money. 393 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,400 I can pay you extra. 394 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,880 I mean, he says, no, sorry, we only give belts when they're earned. 395 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:42,880 Hold on. 396 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:43,880 How much are we talking here? 397 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,680 Like a few thousand? 398 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:50,760 After several minutes of arguing the conversation that leads nowhere, Karen snaps at me. 399 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,880 I paid you to give my son a black belt. 400 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,200 She stands up and points a finger in my face. 401 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,000 It was so sudden that I reflexively took a step back. 402 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,520 Hey, chill out, lady. 403 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,320 Some of the other parents chimed in. 404 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,680 Before I can reply to Karen, the sound of I hear a loud commotion behind me. 405 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,360 I hear more parents and students shouting. 406 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,360 I turn. 407 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,560 I see new boy smacking and hitting a girl in the class. 408 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,720 You're a shouting, hey, stop. 409 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:20,880 However, this girl that new boy is hitting is a purple belt and a little badass of her 410 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,880 own. 411 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,240 So you can kind of see where this is going already. 412 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,800 I think the kids going to learn something finally. 413 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,440 I can't actually believe this conversation just happened. 414 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,440 Hang on. 415 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,440 Sorry. 416 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,440 I missed that one. 417 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,440 I did not. 418 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:36,440 That's another conversation. 419 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,560 Yeah, it's a different one. 420 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:44,640 She loads a front kick and hits the brat boy in your center mass right in his flabby stomach. 421 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,040 He shouts and doubles over crying in tears. 422 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,000 I was so freaking proud of her. 423 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,320 Hey, that little bitch hurt my son. 424 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,800 Karen runs past me onto the mat and gets in the face of the 14 year old girl. 425 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:02,200 First one just like kicks her to the girl is already scared and starts to cry. 426 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,120 But Karen and ups the ante and shoves this girl in the chest with her hand. 427 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,160 Here it gets between them and his red faced and raged. 428 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,840 I immediately rush over and try to defuse the situation, but neither of them are having 429 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,840 it. 430 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,000 Parents stand up and started shouting. 431 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,800 Keep your hands off my daughter. 432 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,200 The girl's father was with the other parents yells at Karen. 433 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,900 He starts approaching aggressively, but backs off when he realizes me and Kiara both black 434 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,440 belts are by her. 435 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,640 Now you should know something about Kiara. 436 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:37,480 She's under five foot, less than 110 pounds soaking wet, but she can still kick my ass 437 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,760 up and down the mat on any given day. 438 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,720 I hate that fucking soaking wet. 439 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,720 It's lying. 440 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,360 It's fucking overdone to death. 441 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,580 It is. 442 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:48,560 She's fast, accurate and insanely flexible. 443 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,420 She can control her body and perform techniques that I simply can't. 444 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,040 Just tell us how fucked up. 445 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,040 Exactly. 446 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,040 She can. 447 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,040 She's flexible. 448 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,040 She's flexible as fuck. 449 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:03,400 So, uh, so Kiara and Karen get into a shouting match with each other. 450 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,320 I told Karen to leave with your kid and don't come back. 451 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,600 Don't you ever lay a hand on any of my students. 452 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,000 Do you understand? 453 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,200 I raised my voice and was genuinely pissed off. 454 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,200 Fuck you. 455 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,120 My son needs a black belt and you won't give him one. 456 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,640 She screams at me. 457 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,640 Your son is crazy. 458 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:19,800 He attacked our students. 459 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:28,880 She's a bitch slap. 460 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,360 Having had enough, Kiara purries the smack and fires an absolute vicious kick right 461 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,700 into the meat of Karen's inner thigh with nothing held back. 462 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:41,440 The slap sound of Kiara's shin bone decimated Karen's thigh echoed off the ceiling like 463 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,720 a slab of meat getting thrown to the floor. 464 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,720 Shit must have hurt. 465 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,720 It was glorious. 466 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,800 Karen gasped as she fell onto the mat in a heap. 467 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,880 Oh, oh my God. 468 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,800 She held her leg as a brat boy got up and rushed at Karen. 469 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,880 And I got in front of her and grabbed the boy's wildly swinging arms. 470 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,640 He hit me a few times, but I refused to hit children whatsoever. 471 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:04,640 Fuck all that bad. 472 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,640 Hit him in the face. 473 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,640 I let him tire himself out. 474 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,520 One of the parents called the police. 475 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,960 After interviewing everyone involved, they determined that Kiara and myself acted in 476 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:12,960 self-defense. 477 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,240 Neither of us wanted to pursue assault charges against Karen, but the parents of the girl 478 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,240 Karen shoved rightly felt differently about it. 479 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,680 So Karen was hauled away in handcuffs. 480 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,120 Karen said she'd sue me and Kiara in civil court. 481 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:30,540 But since we have legal waivers, there's nothing that's going to come of that. 482 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,120 As for the boy, I honestly feel bad. 483 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:37,040 His childhood has been robbed by piss poor parenting and I wish I could have had more 484 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,320 time to straighten him out. 485 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:43,400 I have a particular dislike for his views on women and I feel like I really could have 486 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,760 helped turn him around. 487 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,980 Maybe maybe not. 488 00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:48,400 So yeah, that was my experience tonight. 489 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:53,440 Hopefully you all reading this more than I did going through it. 490 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:54,440 Hopefully you enjoy it more. 491 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,440 Jesus. 492 00:21:55,440 --> 00:22:01,000 It's like, well, I've seen you may ship people in the world and then once you become adults, 493 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000 you can't tell them anything. 494 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,000 So it's impossible. 495 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000 Yeah. 496 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,440 So either either make them good as kids or they're going to be terrible as adults. 497 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:08,760 Mm hmm. 498 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:09,760 Pretty much. 499 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,760 Yes. 500 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,000 Uh, next one is by a cyclops Scott. 501 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,760 This person puts the usual BS with an entitled Karen couple of houses on the street or have 502 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,320 been renovation work done. 503 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,520 So street parking is tighter than usual. 504 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,080 Our drive or driveway is very visible. 505 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,960 Prominent curb cut, brick pavers that started sidewalk. 506 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,640 You really can't miss it. 507 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:34,360 I come home from running a couple of errands and a Subaru is parked across our entire and 508 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:35,360 I mean entire driveway. 509 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,560 It's always a Subaru. 510 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,120 Yes, it is. 511 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:43,840 It's a stereotype for a reason. 512 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,320 They don't come out of nowhere. 513 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,720 And no, uh, they could have had, I could have centered their car any bit. 514 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,600 They couldn't have centered their car any better if they tried. 515 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,600 So I grab another spot and schlep my shit into the house. 516 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,760 Couple minutes later, I see a couple of leaving the rental across the street and getting into 517 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:00,760 the car. 518 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,800 They're not renters there. 519 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,800 Maybe they're just visiting. 520 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,760 I'm not a complete ass hat and I like the neighbors to live there. 521 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:12,840 So I step onto the porch, get their attention and a very nice tone of voice, give them the, 522 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,080 Hey folks, just a heads up. 523 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,600 If you're back, you're parked in my driveway. 524 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,160 The dude looks up, sees they were clearly in the wrong and says, Oh, sorry, man. 525 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:28,520 Didn't even notice my bad, which man it's a, if that's how you, the title said everything. 526 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:34,880 And then when the guy said it was, it was all chill and I can already tell the girls 527 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:41,440 like, what the fuck do you mean you're parking? 528 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,440 You probably shouldn't even be driving, but I let it slide. 529 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,440 Karen on the other hand. 530 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,440 Yep. 531 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,440 Here we go. 532 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,440 Don't worry about it. 533 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,440 We're not parking here. 534 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,720 Uh, yeah, you dumb shit. 535 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:55,720 You are parked there, but I'm still being at least a little nice. 536 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,400 Well, whether you're staying or not, you're block, you're still blocking my driveway. 537 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,680 The Karen, it's not a big deal. 538 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,280 You don't have to be a dick about it. 539 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:09,920 So he puts, Oh, if I wanted to be a dick, you'd know the Karen. 540 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,600 Well, we're not parking here. 541 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,320 So you don't have to be anything that you don't have anything to bitch about. 542 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,600 This dude doesn't be nice. 543 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,800 Do you see that silver car right there? 544 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,920 I had to park there because you were already blocking my fucking driveway. 545 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,840 So once again, you are currently fucking parked here. 546 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,960 The dude apologizes again, tells Karen to shut the fuck up and just gets in the car. 547 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,640 We're, uh, we share a little nod and away we go. 548 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,600 I'm kind of hoping that they have to visit more so I can just have her car towed next 549 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,600 time. 550 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,600 God dang it. 551 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:48,680 What is it with mild manner dudes dating a Karen? 552 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:49,680 I don't know. 553 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,040 And then the Karen gets him into shit he doesn't want to be into. 554 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,440 They're the ones that get dudes into fights. 555 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,320 They don't need to be like, I got shot because of you. 556 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,320 Not because of me. 557 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,840 It's like, okay. 558 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,120 The dude that says, sorry, dude, I didn't know. 559 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,920 Yeah, my bad, bro. 560 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,320 If it's one time, it's like, okay, cool. 561 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,320 Whatever. 562 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,080 What the fuck are you talking about? 563 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,240 How do you mean your parking space? 564 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,960 You can't own a random bullshit. 565 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,840 She comes up with her dad. 566 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:25,600 The law clearly states in fucking draft D paragraph nine C ratified in 1869. 567 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,840 Like bitch, you're not a lawyer. 568 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,840 Shut the fuck up. 569 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,800 Oh, I hate those kinds of people. 570 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,680 They really do start way too many fights that don't need to even happen. 571 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,120 At least that's usually the way it goes. 572 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,120 They can hit you with their car. 573 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,640 I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing walking on the sidewalk? 574 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,640 Yup. 575 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:43,640 What do you mean bitches? 576 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,600 I'm fucking tired. 577 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,120 Next one is by a sarcastic troll. 578 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,080 Most person pits. 579 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,760 So he's a troll or he's not a troll. 580 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:55,760 He's a sarcastic troll. 581 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:56,760 Right. 582 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:57,760 So he's not really honest. 583 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,160 He's like just, he's like not really a troll. 584 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,720 Like I'm sarcastically a troll. 585 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,720 Right. 586 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,720 Or he's actually a troll. 587 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,720 No, no. 588 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,160 It's a name to just throw you off. 589 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,160 Maybe. 590 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,680 Maybe I don't know what sarcastic means then. 591 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,720 I thought it was just being like, you're being honest, but in like a condescending way. 592 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,840 I think that it might be a person that's a troll, but they're sarcastic about everything. 593 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,160 So they're just sarcastic. 594 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,160 Yeah. 595 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:26,080 But where they troll people on the internet by putting sarcastic remarks. 596 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,520 So then they're not a troll. 597 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,720 They're just, I just want to watch the world bar. 598 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,400 You're an anarchist. 599 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,400 I'm real confused. 600 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:42,080 Maybe like, wait, cause if you can't, that doesn't work in the context of a, of a fucking 601 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,160 internet comment. 602 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,520 Great job. 603 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:50,680 You know, like if I said great, you know, if I'm like, uh, if I said great job in that 604 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:51,680 tell you like, it's kind of hard. 605 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,680 I was going to think that they did a good job. 606 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,680 No, like great job. 607 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,520 You're the best that's ever done it. 608 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,360 No one on this fucking planet could do it as good as you. 609 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:03,120 Cause that's how fucking good you are at the shit that you do. 610 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,120 That's sarcastic. 611 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:07,640 But if I say that in a, in a text form, it sounds like I'm being honest. 612 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,640 Exactly. 613 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,640 That's what I'm saying. 614 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,680 Well, aren't you just the smartest person that's ever walked the face of this? 615 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:12,680 God dang it. 616 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,600 And you get somebody that's narcissistic enough to not doubt them. 617 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,720 So of course it's, oh, I am. 618 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:18,720 I know I am. 619 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,720 Well, look at this gorgeous. 620 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,720 I don't know. 621 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,040 Like, so I come to the work in the form of a text and Twitter or any. 622 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,040 Yeah, it doesn't work that way. 623 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,040 No. 624 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,600 Now, if you had a video responding with that, yeah, it was a fucking car, like a verbal 625 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,640 comment that would be funny though. 626 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,520 This person puts a few days ago, I was at an office building and I went to use their 627 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:42,520 elevator. 628 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:43,520 I was going down. 629 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,200 A woman was waiting already and the elevator came down when, when the elevator came down. 630 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,200 We both got in. 631 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,800 She pressed the floor higher up and I pressed the floor going down. 632 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:59,400 Oh, as I did, I told her, just so you know, this is going down and she puts a, well, I 633 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,400 pressed the button first. 634 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:01,400 Yeah. 635 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,400 Yes. 636 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,400 Why did you open your fucking mouth? 637 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,440 I'm assuming it's a guy. 638 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,520 Why did you just shut the fuck up? 639 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:12,320 In fact, you shouldn't even got on the elevator with her alone. 640 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,080 You should have just walked out the stairs. 641 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,080 Yes. 642 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,360 She yelled at, yelled at me. 643 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,080 I said nothing and stood in the back. 644 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,080 The elevator closed. 645 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,840 Lo and behold, it went down. 646 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,240 Just like I told her I was going to do. 647 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,240 She cussed under her breath. 648 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,240 That wouldn't leave me. 649 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,240 She said, I hope you're happy. 650 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,280 Like I made the elevator or something. 651 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:34,280 Or maybe it can be sarcastic in text because I could tell you, I hope you're happy. 652 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,760 That's pretty sarcastic sounding in any tone. 653 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:38,760 People are weird. 654 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,720 Maybe, maybe, maybe he knows what he's doing. 655 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:41,720 Sarcastic troll. 656 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,720 Stand corrected. 657 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,720 Better out of it than what you thought. 658 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,400 Hey man, I was in mail when someone does something. 659 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:49,400 Good job. 660 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,400 At least honestly. 661 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,400 Good job. 662 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,400 Good job. 663 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:57,560 Next one is by Classic Act. 664 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,960 This person puts, received a particular message this morning from the previous owner of my 665 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,960 home. 666 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,520 They want to know if they can come take the height range of bushes from the backyard and 667 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,280 front of the house as they have sentimental value. 668 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,280 No, it's out of my house. 669 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,320 It's out of my fucking property. 670 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,200 Why didn't they just take it when they first there? 671 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,200 That would make more sense to me. 672 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,400 That just makes it awkward as fuck. 673 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,400 Yes. 674 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,920 We're talking at least half a dozen bushes. 675 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,440 The kind that grow like trees. 676 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,560 They're massive and they are part of the charm of our little cottage. 677 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,320 And frankly, I don't want to see them go. 678 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:35,440 I feel that they feel that I bought the property landscaping included. 679 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,320 We lived here for two years and this is the first time we've heard of the sentimental 680 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,440 value attached to these plants. 681 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:46,760 I'd be willing to offer a cutting from one of the plants, but I'm afraid if I ever gave 682 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,800 an inch, they'll take a mile. 683 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,120 It just rubbed me the wrong way that they felt they could ask for my damn landscaping. 684 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:56,040 Like 15 years later, the previous owners, hey, can we have those fucking- 685 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,040 Can we have that tree? 686 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,040 Yeah. 687 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,040 I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? 688 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,400 I want the whole tree. 689 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:05,440 Like 15 years later, they want a tree that they planted fucking years ago. 690 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:06,440 It's fucking stupid. 691 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,920 I've never heard somebody doing that even. 692 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:14,320 Yeah, that's like something that doesn't make any common sense. 693 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,520 That's how you can tell that one wasn't made up because it's so stupid. 694 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,160 Someone comes into my fucking- they knock them out or they leave me a letter or they 695 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,680 contact me somehow through the real estate agent or something. 696 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,760 And they're like, hey, they were asking if they could take the tile out of the bathroom 697 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,760 that they put down. 698 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:30,760 It's sentimental. 699 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:31,760 I don't even take that tile out of the bathroom. 700 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:32,760 What the fuck are you talking about? 701 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,760 Take that tile out of the bathroom? 702 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,920 I had this house for six years and now they want the tile out of the bathroom? 703 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,920 For what? 704 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,800 Yeah, that's kind of the way landscaping is part of the house. 705 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,160 Yeah, well, you left it there for the house. 706 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,560 So stupid. 707 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,040 Next one's by Rootless Cosmo. 708 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,040 Rootless. 709 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:52,040 Rootless. 710 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,040 Rootless. 711 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,040 Rootless. 712 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,040 Rootless. 713 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,040 Rootless. 714 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,040 Rootless. 715 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,040 Rootless. 716 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,040 Rootless. 717 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,040 Rootless. 718 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:07,280 You did this on some woman's- on that spot. 719 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,280 She's like. 720 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:15,520 But all the people, they can't roll their tongues. 721 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,200 Well, you got to be born Mexican. 722 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,640 Or grow up around enough of them that you can do it. 723 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,120 That's the other thing. 724 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,040 If you grow up in a neighborhood that's 98 percent Mexican, you can do it. 725 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,040 And Rodrigo. 726 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,040 Rodrigo. 727 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,040 Yeah. 728 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:41,080 Where they had the rolling R to every fucking- he puts, or she, whichever one it is. 729 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,920 Until about an hour ago, I had an employee from Hill on my team. 730 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,520 This woman couldn't show up on time in appropriate clothing to save her life. 731 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:49,520 Generally. 732 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,120 Unless she was ass naked, what's the matter? 733 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,040 Unless it's like a uniform type of thing. 734 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,880 As long as she's dressed and there's no titties or ass or vagina sticking out. 735 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,760 Well, in this day and age, you never know. 736 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:05,760 There have been women that come into the dollar store and she was wearing a bra on the outside. 737 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:10,040 And her shirt, I'm like, okay, I guess that's normal. 738 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:16,880 They've been wearing those weird shorts that look like boxer briefs. 739 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:17,880 They wear them like- 740 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,440 They're like yoga workout ones. 741 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,760 And I'm like, am I looking at a woman in her underwear? 742 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,760 Right. 743 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,800 Well, then when they get it flesh colored. 744 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,600 It's mostly black, but that would be weird. 745 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:30,600 Yeah. 746 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,600 I'm seeing that too. 747 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:37,400 But I mean, like, so that as long as she's dressed, let's see, let's see how bad it is. 748 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:38,400 We'll see. 749 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:39,400 Yeah. 750 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:40,400 Let's look. 751 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,560 Generally had a bad attitude, half asked every task and would not shut up about a personal 752 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,680 life. 753 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,240 We've basically been waiting for her to do something egregious enough to merit a third 754 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:53,840 write up in six months, which means in almost an automatic termination. 755 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,600 So today she shows up late again and I was already in the middle of gleefully writing 756 00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:58,600 her up. 757 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,600 He's already- 758 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,440 He had a bad pre-made. 759 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,560 Instead of apologizing or at least getting to work right away, this idiot starts babbling 760 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:15,440 about how she's so hung over and trying to tell everyone about her weekend exploits. 761 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,200 Had that cocaine in my system. 762 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:24,320 But nobody paid attention to her except my assistant who rolled his eyes, sighed heavily 763 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,320 and turned away. 764 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,040 I had to take a call at this point so I didn't see what happened next. 765 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,240 But a few minutes after I hung up with the head of HR came into my office with a goofy 766 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,960 smile on his face and closed the door. 767 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,440 Apparently hung over Hannah. 768 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,440 Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 769 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,440 Is that a real name? 770 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,440 Yeah. 771 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:43,440 I don't know if that's appropriate, but okay. 772 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:44,440 Well, he didn't put a last name. 773 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,440 He just put a- you don't know where this person works. 774 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,440 They know where they were. 775 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,440 I'm sorry, I'm a detective. 776 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,640 He called her hung over Hannah. 777 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,000 I'll find out. 778 00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:01,480 It was insulted by our disinterest in her sad little life and marched into his office 779 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:06,280 to claim that we were creating a hostile work environment by disrespecting her. 780 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,400 He fired her dumb ass on the spot. 781 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,920 I didn't even have to divide up her tasks among the staff because they were so happy 782 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,840 to see her go that they did it themselves before I had a chance. 783 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,160 Good fucking riddance. 784 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,160 To hung over Hannah. 785 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,160 Hung over Hannah. 786 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:28,280 All right, and last one we have is by quantity according 750. 787 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,000 Oh boy. 788 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,000 The mouthful. 789 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000 Yeah. 790 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,520 This person puts, this happened like five years ago, but I still think about it probably 791 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,560 once a week. 792 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:43,280 I have moments like that, like God, what was that thing that I witnessed with my eyes? 793 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:48,800 If I hadn't written it down in my journal, I wouldn't believe it. 794 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:53,400 They put, I was walking into Target about to head in through the double sized motion 795 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,400 activated doors. 796 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,960 A guy in his fifties maybe was walking out first. 797 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,960 He did that little weird, that weird little scamper people do sometimes to hold the door 798 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,040 open for people and said, don't worry, I got it for you. 799 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,240 What do you mean little scamper? 800 00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:11,160 Like he runs up to the door and grabs it open. 801 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,160 Scamper. 802 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,040 And placed his hand against the door to hold it open. 803 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,920 I went in without saying anything. 804 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,360 Oh, now I know what he means. 805 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,360 Can't yell, like that little, like, let me get there first to help you. 806 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,880 All that shiver wrist thing. 807 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:24,880 Yeah. 808 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,400 Like it was a huge opening. 809 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,280 We didn't need to get out of each other's way. 810 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,680 And he yells, wow, so ungrateful. 811 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,360 A thank you would have been nice. 812 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,220 Oh, he's so nice about it. 813 00:35:35,220 --> 00:35:37,240 It's a motion activated door. 814 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:38,720 He didn't do anything. 815 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,240 I still can't wrap my head around it. 816 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:42,400 Sorry if this is the wrong sub for this. 817 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,160 I saw a similar post and it inspired me to post this. 818 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,960 Wait, so the door opened automatically. 819 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:47,960 Yeah. 820 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:53,200 But he thought by opening it up for her, or I'm assuming it's a her, she'd be happy about 821 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,200 that and thank him. 822 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,200 Yeah. 823 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,200 What do you expect? 824 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:57,200 Like, oh, let me drop down to my knees and just blow you. 825 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,200 What the fuck does he want? 826 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,240 An automatic door opens on its own. 827 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:06,440 If I get there like a millisecond before someone else and the door like, go ahead. 828 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,320 But if like I run up ahead of her. 829 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,320 And do a scamper. 830 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,880 It's like, oh, excuse me, ma'am. 831 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,480 I had the door open for you. 832 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:13,480 Can I at least get some titty? 833 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,160 Hey, I want to see your titties at least. 834 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,160 That's his mentality. 835 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,800 That sounds like a crazy homeless person. 836 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:24,480 It just sounds like a dude that's an idiot. 837 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:25,480 In so many ways. 838 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,680 Ma'am, I held the door open for you. 839 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:28,680 What the fuck? 840 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,680 I'm like, you didn't have to say anything. 841 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:32,680 I'm like, whatever. 842 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:33,680 That's the dumbest thing. 843 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,480 I guess if that did happen to me, I would think about that at least once a week. 844 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:38,480 Yeah. 845 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:39,480 God, he's fucking retarded. 846 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:40,480 What the fuck was that about? 847 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:41,480 I don't know. 848 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:42,480 People are crazy. 849 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,480 Just say stupid. 850 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:44,480 We know that they're stupid. 851 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:45,480 It's okay. 852 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,440 But that's all I got on Reddit today. 853 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,440 Anything else to add? 854 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,440 I do have to take a shit. 855 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:58,720 Yeah, there it is. 856 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:20,760 That cheeseburger got me.