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This is what we're going over tonight though.
It's Monday so you know, the musings of my ever so increasingly sporadic and shattered
mind.
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Hot revenge.
Is revenge such a fun thing?
Does it not fill you with such a sense of human...
What's the word I'm looking for?
Like when someone takes revenge on someone else and they succeed, does it not give you
such a, almost like a...
A euphoric feeling?
Not a euphoric, but like, what's the word, like you're living through them?
Like if it's revenge, something hilarious.
Like yeah, he got him.
Or if it's petty, it just shows you how...
I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, but I guess sometimes it's fun to watch
two people have a revenge on each other that's not like violent or dangerous, you know?
Something fucking hilarious.
Like you know, the car takes two parking spaces in one fucking parking spot, right?
So you just park behind them and leave them there.
Or some do is do shit like that.
So anyway, sometimes I help my aunt at the flea market.
She works at a flea market.
I've been a business there for years.
I go out there on the weekends to help her out.
And flea markets have drama as if it was a Mexican square.
Like a little Mexican town.
And then the end of the square in the town where they all get together to gossip.
Is it like a telenovela?
It is exactly like.
That's why they're so popular.
They're trying to live vicariously through the telenovela.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Living vicariously through a person seeking revenge for something.
Yeah.
It's also funny when the person seeking revenge was the person that did the wrong in the first
place.
I was like, that's weird.
So this jewelry place, it's got this woman and her husband.
She's a cougar.
She snatched him when he was 11 and she was 45.
No, I'm kidding.
Okay, he was 18 and she was like 30.
She's like, she got on that quick.
Okay, so that's what my cousin tells me.
She was like 30, 40 and he was 18 when they met and they're still together.
Yeah.
It's like, it's like been 20 years now or some shit.
She's like, God, she's not that old looking though.
She looks like she's in her mid 40s.
Yeah, but that still has to be rough.
So my cousin doesn't know.
He doesn't know ages?
Yeah.
And I haven't had a good chance to gauge him.
Like how old are you and how old are you?
She's got a fat ass though.
So they run this little jewelry repair spot in the flea market, a little stall.
And they hired this old man and he was there for years.
I've been helping out for a while.
So I've known, I've seen them all for like the last two, two, two and a half years.
So it's very like, it's the status.
It's like set there.
You have some businesses that come and go and you have the anchors that are always there.
And this old man, I thought actually that I thought he was her husband.
I was wrong.
It was the younger guy behind him.
So he was working there forever with them.
And then the last week they found out that he was taking clients on the side and giving
them cheaper rates on the repairs.
If they, if he did it at his house or something, right?
So they would come to the stall when the other two weren't there, the husband and the wife,
he'd be like, you know, if you want this cheaper, I can do it myself for you guys.
And you know, you guys just meet me at my house or meet me this, this or that or whatever.
Right.
So give me the product and I'll bring it back to you.
Something stupid like that.
Yeah.
Somewhere else.
I mean, it's forever.
And they had just recently found out and they fucking fired him.
They fired him that day.
The next week he came to get his stuff.
He rented a stall in that same flea market where we're at.
And now he's in complete rivalry with them.
He came in, he picked, he got all his stuff, right?
He's installed all his stuff.
Like half of that stuff was here.
It seemed like the fucking one of those counters, the glass counters, everything.
He just started, like he grabbed this fucking one of those fucking little wheel.
The dolly.
Yeah.
He grabbed the dolly and he picked up the whole fucking counter.
Shit was wide as fuck.
And he fucking pushed it all the way down.
Took his microwave too.
Like, fuck you, this is my microwave.
And he installed his shit that day, yesterday.
And he had his business up there by that night yesterday.
And today he was up and running.
And I think he's going to beat him.
How do I know?
Because he was there at 9 a.m. today when I got there.
They were not there yet.
They got there a little later.
He was there at eight after we left.
We saw that his stall was still open.
The other couple had already left.
They got competition.
Because he's in it to do the job.
He's in it to fuck him over.
He's bringing that boomer energy.
Yeah.
He was like, here's what I don't understand.
If he was so good at it, why didn't he just...
I guess because he didn't want to waste money on the stall.
Yeah.
And that might be the one thing that beats him, is having to keep paying for stall space.
Which I guess could be quite a burden if you're not making a lot of money.
But I mean...
But if he was making all the money for them to begin with...
That's what I'm thinking.
Like, if they're going to lose then...
Like whatever lifestyle they were living, having him do most of the work, it's all fucking
shot now.
You know what I mean?
Imagine you hired somebody.
You had a good business, right?
Yeah.
Then you hire a person to take some of the workload off of you.
They end up taking like 65% of your workload, making your job easier.
And you can do other stuff within the business, but not the main labor.
And then you find out he was cheating you, so you throw him out.
Now you got to do all 100% of your work.
And he can just go out and do a business next door.
If it had been across from their stall, that would have been poetic to me.
It's like, ah!
Why?
That would have been actually funny though.
That's the movie, right?
The reality is what happened.
He moved to a stall, but it's on a whole different side of the flea market.
The movie scene with them across from each other.
Stirring at each other all day.
Yeah, that's the movie scene.
That's how you can make good movies.
If you take the slight reality of what's happening, or you take the reality of what's happening,
or what you've seen, and you twist it slightly to add a little bit more pizzazz to the screen,
you can make a perfect fucking scene.
That would actually make a really good funny movie though.
Just them fucking glaring at each other.
Or like one of those sitcom shows where it's them across from each other the entire time.
So I'll give it an update in a few months and see who's winning.
But I'm pretty sure they're going to lose.
Because I think they take a lot of vacations.
They were able to do that though with him.
That's what I'm saying.
They got lax in their fucking work ethic.
They quit caring.
As much.
Well, I guess they said the lifestyle that they had to leave, so they needed a specific
amount right?
So now they have to work harder to make that same amount without him.
Which also means that it's going to ruin their lifestyle in general because they're going
to be the ones having to do the extra work.
And if they don't want to, they're fucked.
Those that don't want to do the extra work are the ones that never make it anywhere.
It's life.
It's rough.
When I found out that to be a writer I had to write, I was like fuck.
I was like damn it.
It's rough to write stuff.
Because I'm reading John Truby's The Anatomy of a Story.
And I got his other book, The Anatomy of Genre.
And I've been reading it and he just tells you, hey, I'm going to teach you these techniques.
But then you have to be so good at using these techniques that people think you're doing
it without them.
It's so weird.
He gives you three things he's going to show you.
A set of techniques or rules to follow to tell your story.
Teach you how to do a story organically that seems to just flow from your story.
And then he's supposed to teach you how to work through those two contradictions.
So basically he wants you to make a story organic.
Almost like it's just making it by itself without any effort.
But you have to follow these techniques and these guidelines that he gives you so they're
kind of competing with each other.
That shit blew my mind.
That was the first storytelling book I've ever read.
The first three pages took me immediately.
I was like wait, that makes sense.
Because then he's like, he likened it to an athlete.
Was like, they do stuff on the field that's so incredible.
People think like, wow, that's easy.
Right?
But then they have behind them hours and hours of drills and techniques they learned making
those moves they do on the field organic and natural looking.
Well that's what really good musicians do too.
There's a huge example in most people that have heard of him.
Stevie Ray Vaughan.
I don't like music.
I hate music.
I hate all music.
That would be random.
One person has never, I've never heard of music.
I don't enjoy it.
There's people that try to pretend that on YouTube.
I've never heard of this music before.
What is this music?
Chat?
I'll just make it in general.
All music all the time is shit.
That would be horrible to just say music is, it's like a, I would say that the comic book
format is the perfect storytelling medium to me because you can add pictures and words.
But without sound you're missing that one component.
So it's like almost the 100% perfect medium to me.
So you can make the comic book as expansive.
You don't have to worry about budget.
Just fucking blow that bitch up.
But it's just missing music.
You can't convey music on paper form and have people understand it unless they're like an
actual musical sheet.
You can't write in a fucking graphic novel.
I write now, go find a piano and hit these three fucking notes over and over again.
That's the beat I'm using for this fucking scene.
You're like, I don't have a piano.
I said, go find one, didn't I?
I didn't say go look for the one you have.
The way some of the, some of the, some comics have gotten around that is they'll put at
the bottom.
It's like a so-and-so band playing in the background.
Oh yeah.
But then you have to actually have heard.
Yes.
And that's why I, some, that's why like I want stories that are so self-contained that
they can reference itself throughout the entire volume, which is almost nearly impossible in
this world that we live in because everything is a reference to everything.
Like if I didn't know what McDonald's was and then you show it in a book, I'm like,
what the fuck is this restaurant?
Like you almost have to have like a basic knowledge of just living in general.
Normal culture.
Yeah.
Just to enjoy almost anything.
That is very true.
That's why, that's why I like fantasy stories and, oh, cause they just make their own.
Yeah.
For the most part, like don't get me wrong.
There's a lot that they, they take in from pop culture and stuff like that and add it,
but the really good fantasy books you can have and you don't have to have a reference
to any kind of outside corporate knowledge aside from just basic knowledge.
Like what a wheel is.
Like the fuck is a wheel?
You know who would ask that?
The Aztecs.
We did not have wheels.
So the simple fact that our roads were horrendous, they were unwheelable apparently.
So they were like Oklahoma city roads.
And they're basically, they use mules.
Yeah.
I don't know how they made the pyramids without the wheel.
There's another thing.
Like no one ever asked how the Aztecs or Mayans made the pyramids.
Well that one, uh, Graham, Graham Hancock did.
Well, he's wrong.
It was Mexicans.
No, he said that it was, uh, he thinks they were all built at the same time.
Oh, by Mexicans.
They went to Egypt cause they outsourced to get the labor.
Then they sent them back.
Send them back on boat.
Cause all we, they probably sent us back swimming.
We probably make it back no problem.
Or La Hue.
No, it'd be Puerto Ricans.
No, no, no Cubans, Cubans.
Cubans would be the one that would swim.
That's racist.
It's true.
They swim up to Florida every day.
So they can't, I can't swim cause I'm Mexican?
Can you?
No.
Of course I can swim.
I'm actually surprised because my dad just naturally taught me to swim.
I didn't even know it was like a skill that needed to be taught.
I didn't even remember him teaching me.
Yeah.
Most of it, like for me, it was kind of instinctual.
He taught me, but he didn't, you know what I mean?
I don't remember him cause I remember him teaching my sister.
So he had to have taught me.
There's no way you throw me in the water.
He just threw your ass in there like that.
He threw you in the other way.
That one old Western where he picks it up with a kid.
Oh, John Wayne?
It's like, fuck you.
They, they, they cut off the seed.
You know what he does after he throws them in?
He shoots them three times.
That'll help you.
You're not going to have people looking at it?
I'm kidding, but that would be fucking hilarious.
He's just like fucking boom, boom, boom.
Yeah, cause my cousin can't swim.
I saw him once he fell in.
What do you go to a pool for if you can't swim?
What are you wasting your time for?
I'm dead serious.
The hell you doing there then?
And the shallow kitty in.
He was like, he was drowning.
His mom couldn't swim so he couldn't jump in after him.
I'm only a child.
So I was like, he's he's dying.
I didn't kick him the fucking lifeguard mode.
I don't know how he got out.
Actually, I think I heard somewhere that you, you, you shouldn't help a drowning person.
No, cause they're going to grab onto you.
Yeah.
They're going to fucking drown you too.
That's why you throw something out too.
I'm like, I'm not a damn lifeguard.
I'm gonna watch you drown.
I'm sorry.
Why do you think they take the flotation device with them?
Yeah.
It's not for them.
It's for the other person.
Oh yeah.
I guess that's true.
They can swim.
I'm not here to save me.
You're dumbass.
That is weird.
Why would you do stuff that you can't do?
Why would you go to do stuff you can't do?
That's why it was funny.
Whenever they had that old show Baywatch, it's like see Pamela Anderson, she didn't
need the flotation device.
She already had two.
Got them big old tannys.
So she didn't need a flotation device.
They probably just didn't want her having anything in her hands.
Like she can watch her boobies bounce.
Big old biddies.
How old is she now?
She's up there I think.
Like she ain't no spring chicken.
Well you know me.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah Susan's readiness 76 and I'm like what you doing girl?
It doesn't matter what age right?
Yeah it does.
You gotta be an adult.
Don't say it like that.
I'm not Edie.
What's his name?
Edie P 445.
You ever heard of him?
Is it that YouTuber?
Yeah he got caught again like yesterday.
Again?
Yeah.
Oh my god dude.
And because they don't fucking take the information to the police and they put it on YouTube he's
gonna go get away again.
He needs to fucking go to jail.
Isn't he the one that had that video that he came out with saying it's like I haven't
got caught.
I haven't got caught.
I don't know about that.
He's the one that the cupcake incident that's what they call it about him.
Because he was texting with some girl about cupcakes and he sent her a picture of him
taking a shit and then she was like 14 or something.
He's like let's meet up.
And then they met up and it was some random dude.
Is it the same guy?
I'm trying to because Abba and Preach that comedian duo that does YouTube videos and
stuff they were talking about that like I think two years ago something like that.
Like it was a while back.
Yeah like three or two years ago.
Yeah somewhere like farther back.
But about how he was saying that he fucked a 17 year old or something like that.
And it's like huh bro.
He's kind of close.
You couldn't wait till 18 huh?
Apparently not.
And then he was saying that I only went with her because her parents weren't around.
It's like ew.
Where's Kryn's handsome when you need him?
Why don't you have a seat?
Just have a seat.
Hey just have a seat.
That would be funny.
That's what they need at this point.
Yeah but because they put him on a video again.
A YouTube video with like the evidence of him interacting with their alleged underage
person like it's pretty much them masquerading as a you know underage person in the like
messaging and they just confront him.
They confront him in a dialysis clinic for some reason is what the video said.
I haven't seen it.
I just saw a little bit of it on X fucking instead of Twitter you son of a bitch.
It does look like a porn site.
Yeah I was like looking for my Twitter app for like five minutes like wait oh it's this
X fucking thing.
And he's like oh yeah EDP or EE.
I forgot his fucking name.
What happened?
You good?
Yeah I'm good.
What is it?
What are you doing?
Taking this off.
Oh I'm like what the fuck.
You're confusing me with all the I'm not good with the technology.
My fucking caveman.
I think it's EDP.
EDP?
Or EE.
It's something fucking stupid.
EDP 445?
Yeah that's him.
Yeah I think Abed and Preach did a.
And the guy one of the guys that caught him right he's wearing a cupcake suit in reference
to the cupcake incident of the last video.
And this guy's been trying to get back on social media in some way or form ever since
that incident and he keeps failing.
And this is just like another fucking I don't know why he's not in jail.
Well actually I know why he's not in jail because the police said the information or
the evidence is like you know what's the word?
Contaminated or something because it's been you know.
Yeah.
The way like the amateurs did it did it wrong.
But look at the description they gave for him.
What is it?
Because they did a whole video on it.
The title for the top one.
Complaining on the wrong playground oh god.
And then another video after that.
Being a YouTuber is being more than being a mother.
No.
I'm kind of like R Kelly.
Yeah.
What the fuck.
That's him isn't it.
EDP.
I think isn't that EDP too.
Is this him?
Because I know the top one the very top one is.
Yeah that top one is the second one I'm not sure.
He's not that skinny.
I don't think the second one is him.
The second one got caught doing that kind of shit too.
Yeah this is the second one's not him but it looks like him.
Damn.
Fucking.
What the fuck is wrong with these people.
Well they're pedophiles.
That's what's wrong with them.
Yeah that's very true.
Even Jacksepticeye said like YouTube's just a fucking field of groomers and pedophiles
now.
You hear about this fucking MrBeast beef.
Oh that was so damn stupid.
I'm just minding my own business.
Well it's like okay do I find a lot of the videos that MrBeast does kind of just stupid.
They're so they like they are just a shot of adrenaline of like content.
Yeah.
In such a condensed time frame.
He's been like whenever he was talking about how whenever he was a kid and everything where
him and his friends would go out they would have these meetings all day about what works
in the algorithm and stuff like that.
Like they spent time figuring out what people watch so of course everything is going to
have like that super hype factor.
Like it moves like so quick and I'm just like.
But you have a millennial brain though.
For Gen Z this is perfect.
Like I'm like I'm having a fucking stroke.
Like even his reaction videos to other videos.
Yeah.
It's just bouncing everywhere.
I'm losing my fucking mind.
That's why Gen Z didn't mind with the One Piece episode.
Which was with the cameras bouncing around and shit.
That's why I've almost had a fucking stroke with that cartoon.
When he went full tune.
Yeah.
I was like oh please.
I'm begging you.
But I don't know like Jack.
Jack.
Jacksepticeye.
I was going to say Jackass.
Jackass.
Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville welcome to Jackass.
You will not believe how much of that content I've seen lately.
I've watched nothing but Van Marjette ruin his life.
Steve will talk about the prison pocket and Johnny Knoxville just getting a concussion
from a bull.
But like a person that does videos about Minecraft and shit constantly and then oh I've got an
automated system for this and Minecraft and all that.
It's the same shit.
Like you're playing somebody else's game.
Oh yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like whatever the algorithm tells you you have to do because they have like their little
YouTube managers.
Yeah.
They like you know they keep track of the algorithm for like their content.
Right, right, right.
So keep it up like you got to do this you got to do that you got to do this and that.
I'm just like man.
And then you lose all fun and the entire thing.
Yeah you're making money but.
It's always about the money.
Dad asked me to cut an avocado.
It's all about the money.
I would sell myself for the money.
Out of a lot of YouTubers I feel sorry for him because he went from being somebody that
was into fitness.
Man he was.
Doing shit.
He was handsome looking back when he was thinner right?
Like he tried.
And now he's thick and you know he's still kind of handsome looking.
He's a thick boy.
All that cushion though.
Or that girl that he's got with him.
I don't know.
That gigantic girl.
With her butt it's like oh fuck this food's gonna be destroyed.
You get two of them together.
Man I would get sick of eating that amount of food.
I could no.
I'm fat but man I'm like I'm just like I'm not I'm not you too fat.
It's a level.
Yeah it's a level I can't achieve.
Today we're gonna be eating 87 biscuits.
This guy had he got paralyzed from eating 413 chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna do 412.
That's the limit.
Oh fuck.
That fucking hurt.
I'm gonna take a quick nap after 150 chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna go back and eat one more chicken.
Hello everybody my name is my name is uh my name I'm Biggie Smalls.
Call me Biggie Talls.
I'm gonna eat 857 every every every flavor of ramen noodles in one bowl.
People die.
And then I'm just gonna.
And then that's the beginning of the video right.
And then for the rest of the video I say nothing and all you hear is.
For the next so the first is me talking really hyperactive right.
Like welcome everybody I'm gonna eat.
I'm gonna eat this entire 10 pound gummy bear.
And then just the most grotesque.
It's anti ASMR.
Play it back for somebody that needs to vomit.
It's the anti ASMR.
It keeps you awake because you don't want to hear it.
It fucking just haunts your ears.
And it'll be it'll be a complete darkness.
So you like that don't you.
What the fuck is he doing.
What horrors is he committing to that food.
That was my point that was with Jacksepticeye.
He's acting like Mr. Beast ruined YouTube.
There's always been the fucking crazy ones.
Yeah YouTube is like a huge fucking landscape.
One fucking content creator is not gonna fucking just skew the algorithm then just go down
the line and fuck up everyone else's.
No like I even the people that hated PewDiePie.
He at least did random shit.
Like it wasn't only one thing all the time.
Like now he's got a kid.
So I'm gonna say the end word real quick.
Well you see he's been like he went from doing like game videos and all that like meme reviews
because what was it.
LWI is what he had for a long time last week and whatever like memes and stuff.
But he was doing that for a long time.
And now that he's had a kid he's posting stuff about his kid.
Like.
I always exploit those you have.
No not like that.
I'm just kidding.
No out of all YouTubers he's probably the one like even though he's the biggest YouTuber
before Mr. Beast I don't have disrespect for the way he treats his kid compared to a lot
of other people that do it.
Because a lot of them they're like now cry for the camera and stuff like that.
If one day he doesn't say this to his son.
Son one day and then he looks at the YouTube channel all this will be yours.
I don't want to be you have to be a YouTuber it's under the PewDiePie name.
So like like he becomes PewDiePie right.
His son and he looks exactly like PewDiePie now.
But like like 40 years from now.
Yeah.
Or like no 20 years from now.
Yeah.
And then like his son will be PewDiePie.
But you they never say.
It just randomly happens.
It'll just be like three hundred and fifty seven years of PewDiePie.
And no one will ever question like this guy's been on for like three hundred and fifty years
and he has not changed at all.
It's just they all come out looking exactly like Felix.
Would that not be the biggest fucking mind trip.
It's like you got all these conspiracy theories.
It's like like he's really he's a vampire.
He's been alive.
My great grandkids like grandpa you heard of PewDiePie.
Yeah when I was a kid he was a what the fuck.
I just.
Grandpa.
You think you're getting all.
For whatever reason it fucking breaks me.
I'm old.
Why am I.
He can't.
I'm just in the fucking loony bin.
He.
He's like what's wrong with him like my son's like what's wrong with him like something.
I don't know something about someone not changing.
He changed.
You owe it to me Felix now.
But see that might happen though with AI where it's just him.
Oh just the generation.
Oh man.
That's going to trip the fuck out of some people.
Hi I'm Johnny Knox.
Welcome to Jack.
It's been like three hundred years of Johnny Knoxville.
It's all I.
So none of it's even real.
Hi I'm Johnny Knox welcome to Jack.
We're going to be doing the Oscars this week.
It's just like Johnny Knox hosting the Oscars.
The Oscars.
Oh God.
Speaking of I wish they'd bring back Ricky Gervais for that.
I don't think.
Man we used to have Daphne.
He's like all right motherfuckers.
And he fucking tore that fucking building to the ground.
Yes he did.
The funniest part out of all of us.
I don't care about any of your stupid compliance.
Come up here get your trophy and leave.
Damn.
Because he told him that he said what was it.
You don't care about climate change.
You flew in here on your private jets.
Oh he was honest honest.
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.
He wasn't celebrity honest he was honest.
No he was honest.
That's a whole different story.
They can handle celebrity honesty.
Oh but not.
They can't handle true honesty.
No not at all.
The way he went up there and did it no.
Like if I walked if I walked past Tom Cruise like you ski.
I'm like you can't run.
He's like what what do you mean I can't run.
He would lose his fucking mind.
He would be jogging for like three hours straight in one movie.
Just to prove you wrong.
Yeah.
I can too.
To be honest he could run that.
Make a fucking jog to save his life.
At least I think he can.
We don't know if he can or not.
Well he is according to family guy he's super short remember.
I'm five for three.
Well they made him the size of Stewie.
Holy shit.
Why?
Really made it look like he's a little man.
I always had this movie idea because of me being a crazy person.
Yeah.
Where.
Well because I'm basically Adam Sandler without the fame or skill.
Well Adam Sandler is only Adam Sandler in movies.
Exactly I would be me in movies.
But I'll do it.
You know that meme where it's like a peacemaker and the other guy.
Yeah.
He's like he does what I do and like the other guy's like he does what I do.
Because when you remember the what's her name Amanda Waller tells tells what the fuck was
it like kill shot or something or something.
It was the Idris Elba was the actor and I don't remember the character's name.
But he she listed all this stuff that Idris Elba can do.
And then he takes her she takes him down to meet his team and she gives him what they
can do this this this.
Then he goes to get down to peacemaker and she tells him all this stuff he can do and
it's pretty much it's exactly the same as Idris Elba like to the word to the fucking
word right.
Yeah.
And he's just like what he does what I do and people like yeah but better.
So that's what I'm like when I say like but better I mean like I'm peacemaker and he's
Idris Elba except I'm not peacemaker because he's kind of douchebag in the last movie.
He redeemed himself in peacemaker but he was terrible in Suicide Squad.
He was good till the last arc the last story bit and it was like oh man because he kind
of turned on the team.
Yeah.
Spoilers.
You know for a movie that's so many years old now.
Yeah spoilers.
Wait wait you're telling me she kills she crushes the wicked witch with her with her
house and she takes her shoes.
Spoilers.
For some people yes that is a spoiler.
What was I saying.
Oh yeah because everyone does an action character where it's like they just take like the rock
or someone like big and bulky.
Yeah.
And then they come like it like just run run trains through everybody that that came out
horrific running trains in the sexual term.
He's just running trains through everybody.
He's just like oh good.
But he just like he's always like big like and he eventually just you know overcomes
his enemies.
Yeah.
My character being my mental frame and my personality it would be the main character
in the story but it would be I would pretty much I'd have to read basically all the mythology
of trickster gods.
Right.
So my character being smaller weaker not as you know physically gifted as all of his opponents
always outsmarts his opponents in a very ingenious witty way where he's like not fisticuffs right.
Yeah.
He's like.
So brains over brawn.
Brains over brawn right.
But more genuine.
Yeah.
Like if they catch me they're going to beat the shit out of me or but I would have to
like it.
That's another thing like I wouldn't want it to be like because I wouldn't want to be
like a power trip like the actors they get movies that they write a movie and they're
just like that fucking that guy in that movie right.
Like I like it actually humanized realistic version of a character you know like a person
that people can relate to.
Yeah.
Which is like a chance that you're going to lose instead of but like an actual chance
that I'm going to lose.
Like I had a great scene in my head.
Don't you don't you fucking steal this from me.
Don't you don't you listen to this and steal my fucking scene.
But I'm gonna give you a scene because one thing that John Truby right off the bat tells
you to do he wants you to write a story that's that's going to change your life.
And he said like that's saying that's asking for a lot.
But he said like the only way to know how you're going to change your life is to look
in yourself or within yourself.
And apparently said he actually said a lot of writers don't do that.
They don't look within.
So he said here's what you do.
First of all by the way he tells you to write a premise is not going to take you it's going
to take you weeks to find a good movie premise not a couple hours or a day or two like weeks
to take a like take a premise like Indiana Jones fights Nazis in Antarctica for an alien
artifact.
That's a premise.
But he says you have to go further like it's going to take you longer.
Right.
To be able to clean something because that that premise becomes your prison.
You got to write your story within the premise that you built.
So you got to know that that premise is the foundation from which your story is going
to grow.
And if it's a bad foundation no matter how good your story your dialogue your characters
your premise your stuff up here is if that foundation comes under any of it.
Yes.
I'm like bro you're speaking my language finally.
And he said here's what you do.
However long it takes you get yourself your wish list and your premise list.
He said write down everything you've ever wanted to see in a movie or a book depending
on what you're writing a play a comic book whatever write down everything you've ever
wanted to see.
Don't worry about budget.
Don't worry about like oh this will cost too much to make or do.
Don't censor yourself.
Just keep going until you're fucking tapped out.
And on this side write every premise you ever come up with every story idea.
Just write it in a neat one two sentence like line.
Just boom boom boom boom boom.
Like it'll be five fifty a hundred whatever until you fucking tap yourself out.
And then you take all of them you put them all down either on your wall on the fucking
bed wherever and you look them all over like from like an oh like a wide view like like
you're focused on writing right.
But once you like you put them all down and you come out from your writing and you see
where there's correlations in this that like what you enjoy basically and what you enjoy
begins to it will pop up from that fucking from the pages.
And you're like wait this with this with this with this would work into this.
And there you go.
There's your fucking fantastic movie.
Now if only Hollywood would know this.
Don't you worry about.
Oh fuck that got me.
Don't you worry.
I got I'm working on it.
Hollywood if you give me a chance to be my own actor writer I'll be the best you've ever
had.
I got a fucking franchise.
Well instead of a remake of a remake of a remake of a remake.
You got no remakes out of me.
You'll get fucking off that authentic stories.
I'm so tired of that because they're remaking all the Disney movies again.
How many Snow White movies have they made.
Have you seen Snow White and the Seven Hills though.
That's a masterpiece.
It's basically it's basically a transvestite Snow White with seven women.
It's not I just made that up but that would be baller.
Now you're going to find a new.
So this this is basically a woman with a penis.
It just goes out and just bang seven holes.
You're welcome.
You just gave me a welcome.
You're welcome everybody.
You just gave a new idea to Pornhub.
You're welcome.
Just that guy.
Snow White she's got some big titties and then she just fucking takes her dress off
and fucking dick falls out.
Like oh okay.
This story turned.
Plot twist.
What am I talking about.
I never I never kill someone's yum.
I read that in a porn book.
You never what?
Ew so you say something disgusting to someone's sexual interest.
I do.
I don't give a fuck.
If it's within like if it's not something like beastly or pedophilia or stuff like that
if someone did something like out of the ordinary.
So you don't do every person's.
Right.
So basically.
Just some people's.
I made up that story about the trans.
I'm not really into like women with women and like you know with them having a penis.
But I watch it as out of interest.
Transphobic.
I'm not transphobic.
No you've seen those those interviews that have come out where there's a.
Transphobia.
Well not that but where they'll say if you wouldn't sleep with a woman with a dick you're
transphobic.
I don't want our balls hitting each other.
That's my the logistics man.
It doesn't be fucking clapping.
Nah.
I'm very like concerned you know I'm conservative when it comes to like my own sexual interest.
Yes.
Does it mean I won't watch something that's out of my view out of my interest out of curiosity.
I might not find it attractive or sexually arousing.
Yeah.
I'm like that's interesting.
Well back to my stuff.
Like the time you had a kick with midget porn.
Like the time I watched a woman get banged while she was stuck in a kid's playhouse.
The guy's like I guess the only way to get you out is to fuck you out of it.
I'm like huh that's not really in the that's not really my thing but I'll watch.
It's not logistically intelligent but sure.
And she got pushed out.
So I guess he was right.
I think one day I'll tell you what I'm into and you'll just realize how boring it is.
I kind of figure.
But I'll tell you next week.
You guys you guys can all know no way sexual porn interest.
It's not as it's actually fucking boring.
It's a transfer.
Now it's more like it's so it's so mundane Lee simple.
It's how boring it is.
Yes but I got to make people think that it's something fucking truly epic.
I can't really even think of anything that bad for four little people with five foot
dicks.
But how does that work your dick's bigger than your body and a gang bang with furry
transvestites was a furry transvestite.
What the fuck.
I'll tell you next week.
All right my fucking movie I might see an idea though it would be in the context of
like a thriller so be like detective or or like espionage or something like along those
lines.
So the main character which would be me because they're always me.
I kind of weird like why am I always always the main character.
Maybe that's just how I write you know.
Maybe this is always me.
I can't write.
Are you want to be that.
You think you're the one.
I'm just the one.
I thought it was like narcissistic until I see Adam Sandler doing stuff.
Yeah.
And he doesn't always put himself in the best of light in the movies.
Yeah.
So that's you know that's respectful.
But he doesn't try to tell a good story.
Sometimes it doesn't come off right or it's you know just like like Jack and Jill.
But you know he's not everything can be happy Gilmore.
Right.
But waterboy.
Oh yeah.
Anyway so the main character would have to sneak into this room and he's got to find
some file or some bullshit right.
I haven't really thought it out too much.
Basically he's in the room.
The lights come on.
I guess it wouldn't work if the lights if you turn the lights on they know you're in
the room.
So maybe you have to like really reconfigure it.
But it does involve a light like some like dingy fucking ceiling lamp and it keeps flickering
like like you know like it's like going on and off and then it was a steady then when
flicker again steady flicker and he has he's doing something digging through files or whatever.
And concurrent to that an assassin that's been tailing him follows him to that room.
So maybe it had to be him his own room and maybe he forgot to lose a tail or the guy
is just that good at tailing.
Yeah.
It doesn't pick him up.
It probably would better if it was his own room.
So yeah if it's his own room he's going through some files that he found.
He's going to need to study them and then erase them or burn them or whatever.
But he had to leave with them because maybe some guards were coming so he had to keep
the files on him.
And he goes to his room.
It goes to the room and he's trying to do his stuff and the light keeps flickering.
And so and as he's doing his stuff with the files and everything like fuck this doesn't
work.
It's weird.
The assassin slowly you know coming up the flicking stairs coming down the hallway.
He's at the room.
He fucking slowly you know doing his little lockpicking or whatever.
You know turns the key.
He's got his gun out.
The door fucking opens slowly.
He doesn't realize that it's an old door so maybe it'll creak or something then the
other character picks up.
So it's like just like a minute but they're both so highly sensitive and trained.
Yeah.
What the fuck.
He turns.
Remember lights been flickering the whole time.
The minute the door opens gun goes up.
The light goes out and he just starts fucking blasting and all you see from that scene is
darkness intermittent with fucking gunshots.
You saw the other characters fucking hauling ass like oh fuck.
He's blasting from the doorway.
So it's black light black light.
So you're kind of seeing them like kind of like still motion.
And you know the other character has to escape.
That's one scene.
But believe me people I have the skill.
I just don't have the means because I haven't learned the techniques.
Or I've got the I've got the raw talent I guess.
Yeah the idea part of I just don't have the fucking skills left to fucking put it on paper.
But when I do bro it's gonna be fucking glorious.
I got another one.
This one is an action scene and I don't know how it would work.
So basically you need a window and you need a wall.
So the walls here the windows.
How do I put it so the walls here right.
Like I'm telling you but I don't know how to explain it.
So the walls the windows like say like a house right.
And the house you have windows in front of your house on the edge of your your front
your front the front of your house.
And then you have the wall going down.
So the wall is perpendicular.
Yeah perpendicular.
So the wall there's the wall the windows and then it's like the edge of the wall.
Right.
So it's perpendicular along the house along the house right.
So you got the window against the wall that's going perpendicular.
So it's basically on the edge of the wall.
One guy would have to get kicked once into that wall the perpendicular wall not where
the window is.
So when you're seeing the scene you're seeing it from the from facing the window.
So facing the front of the house you see the guy get kicked in the frame against a perpendicular
wall right next to the window.
And then that one kick knocks him back.
Boom the window fucking rattles.
And then another person comes in the frame and hits him with a fucking just like like
a cataclysmic sidekick to the stomach.
You know it's unbelievably powerful kick right.
Because one he's against the wall and to the hit the kick is so powerful the fucking window
burst the boom.
He's like oh look the guy be like I bet you that first kick hurt but I bet you that second
kick fucking hurt.
You know just to let him know that that shit like that's how you visually tell a person
that fucking hurt.
That first one rattled the window like oh that hurt.
But when they see the window shatter as the second kick lands and then boom.
Ladies and gentlemen that's how you that's that's screenwriting 101.
Again if Hollywood people don't have a paper.
Give me give me a cigarette because I just came.
Now I'm still learning but I have a lot of ideas that I put on my wish list.
Yeah but that's what I'm saying.
Hollywood doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore.
It's remakes of every fucking thing and there's no new ideas about anything.
They're trying to penny pinch so.
At least it's a guaranteed hit right.
They don't want to take chances on anything new.
Yeah but people are getting tired of remakes too.
So now it's just kind of a spiral downwards to see what can hit first.
Which reminds me did you see that god awful new podcast that came out.
Is it ours?
No.
One that's actually worse than ours.
I don't know.
I'm pretty bad.
People think I'm a fucking pervert.
I don't think they know.
Yeah.
No I mean as in.
Okay each of the celebrities doing the podcast have tens of millions of followers and they've
got like a thousand people interested in the damn podcast.
I wish they had tens of followers.
But it's Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and Seth Meyers.
They're doing a podcast together since the writer's strike is going on and the companies
still want to make money off of them so they're making them do a podcast.
Well that's another thing.
You can't write a script or anything because it would go against the writer's strike wouldn't
it?
Even though I'm not part of the union?
No.
Write whatever the fuck you want to write.
I don't want to you know.
I will say right now I don't give up.
I wouldn't want to step on any of the union's toes yet.
I will.
Hey man I'm trying to get a guy.
You don't fuck about the writer's union?
I do.
If you offered money aside from what they were doing you'd say okay fuck you too.
Would I be a scab?
I don't know.
I would.
Hey if there's scabs for all the delivery companies out here I'll be a scab.
Fuck them all.
Like when UPS was going to go on strike.
I'll be a scab.
I bet you dollar stores think like that.
That's why they don't have any fucking employees.
Because I work at a dollar store and we don't have any fucking employees.
Yeah.
Like there's no, we are the scabs.
We need to make sure they're all happily compensated financially.
You're not going to get any more than this you know.
Dollar tree companies.
Whether that be dollar tree, dollar general, family dollar.
Oh yeah it's a dollar tree.
I mean dollar store companies.
So yeah dollar tree, family dollar, dollar general.
Dollars dollars y'all.
The 99 cent stores?
Less dollars more stuff.
Any of them.
Just a dollar.
That's a good one.
Always say.
Once a dollar always a dollar.
You're going to give new names to places?
Basically.
Although the one that's the cancer is dollar general.
They're literally every fucking where.
You drive out into the middle of the country anywhere and you'll find a fucking dollar
general just in the butt crack of nowhere.
Do love me a butt crack.
Not of nowhere.
Anywhere.
That's a fat girl named Tammy.
You know the best way to give a girl a massage is like she's on her back and you straddle
her right and then you just put your dick in between her butt cheeks while you give
her the massage.
That way it's a nice little placeholder.
While you give her that good old massage.
Don't you worry girl I got you.
Let me knock these knots out.
I'm in here no way.
Of course not.
I got a lot of stamina.
I love doing the hot dog.
That's what it's called.
I know you brought it up multiple times don't we now?
Oh yeah that's how you can tell.
That's how you tell a person to actually like a person can only hide their real self for
so long.
Yeah.
Because it seeps out eventually like it's impossible for anybody to keep a facade forever.
That's true.
So you know that I like hot dog.
That's it.
That's why I don't even keep a facade to begin with.
It's not worth it.
I don't have one either.
That's why.
This is what you get in private and in public.
I'm the same person regardless of where you go.
I might be more quiet in public because I'm kind of introverted so I'm only my crazier
self my true self with like the real me still there.
It's just like the the dial is down a little bit.
Yeah to one.
That's fine though.
I wouldn't be like hey you ever seen Snow White and the Seven Holes sir?
That'd be funny.
And he's like twice.
I'm like oh come on.
Like true connoisseur.
Instead of all those prank people have you seen those going around too recently where
you got all these people trying to prank these normal just employees like my back.
Just like to leave these people alone like people that are like working in Target and
stuff like that.
Like there was one going around where it says dude.
This dude and his friend they're buying things of bananas right?
But that dude ate his banana and put it like just the banana peel up there.
And the lady looked at him and she's like sir can I see yours so that way I can put
it on the scale because you know how they have to.
Oh they have to get it.
Yeah they have to weigh them to sell them.
And she's like just can I have that one so that way I can do this.
And he broke it in half and handed it to her.
It's like bro this lady looks like she has been there all damn day.
She wants to go home.
She might have been on it.
Right.
This is right.
She worked at Target.
Like bro like just don't fuck with people that are doing normal.
Go fuck with people that don't do normal jobs.
How about don't fuck with anybody.
That would be smart but also these are the same people that are getting cabbed so you
know.
They get shot.
Yeah that's already happened a couple of times now.
Like these people that are going into areas you shouldn't be fucking with people at and
you know the graph of fuck around and find out.
Yeah.
They're finding out.
Well maybe they got to find out or else they won't stop.
See whenever we were kids.
I had a cousin that went to jail.
He sure changed when he got out.
He wasn't the same as he was though.
That's all they needed a little bit of prison time.
They'll come out right in his rain.
Yeah but this is all happening in California and New York so they don't lock anybody up.
Well take them to the sewers.
Send them to the subways.
The rats.
Yeah with the rat king.
With Splinter.
Look what we found here.
With Master Splinter.
Another prankster.
Talk about fucking Ninja Turtles.
They don't have sex with Ninja Turtles.
Talking about the Ninja Turtles.
That first movie is just absolute gold.
When first the costumes are so fucking realistic that I can't believe they can't do that now.
That first movie where they go down to the sewers after an adventure and Master Splinter
has been kidnapped by the foot clan and Raph comes in with his fucking size and he's like
that's probably the best fucking comic book movie I've seen in a long time.
And it's probably back in 1990.
Yeah that's an old movie.
Like six years after the comic book came out in 84.
And just the pure intensity of Raph.
I was like where is this?
In movies now?
Yeah in super movies I've got fucking cheeseburger burfs.
But it's just so compelling because it seems so honest.
Whoever wrote it was like man I love the Ninja Turtles.
And they gave them all such unique personalities.
You got Michelangelo, one of the foot clan soldiers that used a nunchuck and he's like
oh I feel a chucker eh?
He fucking tightens up his bandana and he's like oh.
And he has a fucking nunchuck battle with him.
And Donatello is rubbing his fucking stick with one of those fucking pull a cue.
Little chalk things.
And he just fucking knocks people out.
I mean they never hit, like Raph and Leonardo never actually hit anyone with their weapon
because they would have fucking cut him in half.
But like man, and I found out in the second movie they wanted to emphasize less on the
weaponry.
They kept doing weird shit without weapons.
Like fucking Michelangelo using like rolls of fucking sausage.
Yeah I remember that.
I was like what the fuck?
Yeah.
And then fucking Donatello is like pretending to be like that little push clown that comes
back up and he's like yeah yeah.
Okay he sees the push clown right?
And he pushes it and it comes right back up right?
He's like yeah yeah yeah yeah.
I'm like what the fuck did he just discover?
Because then he starts doing the same animation as the fucking push clown.
And he comes down and I'm like what the fuck is it?
The second movie tipped off way too far.
It's still good but it's not one.
And three is not any of them.
Well that's what I don't like.
For all the things that Marvel movies have going for them, the one thing I don't like
is a lot of the characters have become, they've almost become each other at this point.
A lot of characters are acting way too similar.
They gotta hit the beats and then move on.
Like even Thor, they kind of ruined Thor a little bit because they made him way too much
of a comic relief character.
Yeah that was kind of weird.
Like Thor in the comic books was never extremely comedic.
He was more of a little bit of a serious or more serious character.
I know they wanted to differentiate him from Captain America and also lean into more Chris
Helmsworth, his personality.
Which is fine.
And it worked in Ragnarok perfectly.
But then they dialed it up to 11 and what was the next one called?
Love and Thunder?
Love and Thunder, yeah.
The name was like way too high.
Yeah.
I think they should have come back a little bit from Ragnarok.
Right, like if he's fate and they should have done Gorr the Butcher a little bit better
from right here.
Yeah Gorr the Butcher is soft.
He's soft.
Well.
Have you seen the movie yet?
No.
You still haven't seen it?
I don't have Disney Plus.
Well don't watch it.
It's not worth it.
You won't.
Like even the part where What's Her Name gets Thor's powers.
It's so god awful.
Like Natalie Portman?
Yes.
Man she was thick and that one she was like buff as hell.
CGI.
Oh wow.
It's all CGI.
I was like man.
And you can tell too in certain parts of the movie.
I love me a muscle mommy.
Moving huh?
I told you I like it all.
I guess I should tell you if you need to know exactly what I like sexually it is the entire
spectrum of the female form and psyche.
It is like every shape of woman and every mental like configuration of woman.
I like it all.
There's a limit.
It's still hard limits.
There is no limit.
Listen.
The only limit is if she's like insane.
If she's a bad person.
Like you've never heard.
If she's a bad person.
You've been saying.
But like if she's interesting and she's unique and she like you know.
It always starts with the face for me.
If I like the face regardless of what people like.
This is a ten.
This is a five.
Like it's just like to me there's no like numbers.
Like I like this face and I like this face equally.
I like it all equal.
I'm an equal opportunity fucker.
I just like women.
I like to like be intimate with as many like the entire spectrum of womanhood.
You can have Liz.
They can have it all.
They can have all this and you can have all that.
I want all of it.
People say means that Liz is known because she's a bad person.
Not body type.
Not even for me.
Body type.
Oh my body type.
None of that.
She's a bad person.
Remember beached whale is not a body type that's a species.
She's a big girl.
It's all right.
My good old hemipedic.
She for she she knows my the contours of my body but she can never let her lay on top.
Got that.
Yes she can kill me.
I'll see you in Valhalla.
I'm gonna fight to the death.
Should I come or I die or both.
What about neither.
Then I'll see you in Valhalla.
What do you mean not die.
I just come out broken but all the demons still in me like damn she got me.
I couldn't finish.
Everything just broke.
I'm all just broke down like oh man that was the best day of my life.
Then you wake up two years after a coma.
Did I come?
No.
No sir you did not.
I just wake up did I come?
No sir you came so you did you're not coming is what knocked your brain out.
All the demons burst in your head like oh god.
If I remember in a horrific accident right you know what my first you know what the first
thing I ask is.
Doctor.
So yes I don't want to know what year it is.
I don't know what I look like.
Can I still fuck.
That's all I wanted to know.
What if it happens.
No.
Then why the fuck am I still alive.
You son of a bitch.
You become a quadriplegic and you have nothing at all.
But can I still fuck sir.
No it's just that.
Can I if there is even the 1% chance that I can I'm gonna.
I don't care what medicine says.
If there's a fucking 0.0000 to the one and a half percent whatever bullshit power so
you have less than a 0% chance of fucking.
So there's still a chance.
That's all I'm that's all you're gonna hear from me.
So there's a chance.
OK.
So there's still a chance then.
OK.
But I like that's all I needed to hear.
Yeah that's that's motivation people.
Someone tells me that you got a 50% chance of walking like I can't walk then you got
a 1% chance of being able to still know I can't walk.
And they're like if you got a 1% chance of fucking so I can fuck.
So there's a 1% chance that I can then OK.
That doesn't get all business like if they say I had a 99% chance of using my left arm
like so it's broken is fucking ruined for life.
But they say I got a fucking 1% chance of so I can still fuck.
That's me.
I just have to be creative.
So you're going to be blind for the rest of your life.
But can I fuck.
I just imagine what they look like.
They can describe it to me.
You might not want that.
I don't mind whatever it is.
I'm just I don't know.
Like I just I'm so abrasive or embrace of just every female body type.
I don't know why.
I'm just into all of it.
I love all every.
It's always basically like whatever like if you're like 89 pounds right flat chested with
no ass.
Let's get it.
If you're 400 pounds with a booty the size of a fucking dumb truck with and like titties
like up to your look down to your knees.
I'm like let's get down to business.
And everything in between your tall your short your this can be so midget.
They can even get it.
They can get it twice.
She six foot five.
She can get it as high as I can get it.
She can bend over a table right and I'll grab a fucking chair.
Let's get down to business.
Let's just like life is too short not to enjoy consensual enjoyable sex with as many people
of your sexual preference as you can.
You know as long as you come in there with the right attitude and a positive communication
like I want this I want that.
I'm not in I don't want a long term relationship.
You know like the hookup the art of the hookup and not the art of the pickup which is just
like manipulating women but like being honest with what you want from them and what they
want from you.
And there you go.
Enjoy enjoy all of it.
Still a virgin.
That would be fun.
All right.
That's I guess that's it for today.
All right.
Well with that after you've learned everything that you want to know about no I will tell
you everything you want to know and then some.
Oh dear God.
Well with that we will see you guys on the next one.
You guys can leave me comments.
They can ask me any question I'll answer it.
The best of my body.