Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown
movies, games, comic books, anime, and more weekly.
We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.
This is what we are covering tonight.
Tonight Noe is going to get to meet Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé.
We met.
It didn't go well.
And yeah, we're going to look at his cringiest moments.
Okay.
So, but before we do, like, share and subscribe to the channel.
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can check out buymeacoffee.com forward slash KOE podcast.
Alrighty.
So we have Noe's favorite person in the world named Big Ed.
What do you know about Big Ed?
He's not big, but his name is Ed.
And he's got no neck.
I gotta say, he is big in like the, the, like, mass size, but not so much the height size.
He's shorter than I am, isn't he?
Yeah, he's short.
He's like really short.
I'm a staggering five foot two or three.
I can't remember which one.
It depends on the day.
Five foot two or three, whichever one.
It is, you know, the benefits of being short is if you have the same size penis as a taller
person, it just looks better on you.
Like if you're both like six inches, right?
Yeah.
It looks fucking banging on a person that's five foot three.
So imagine if somebody is six foot three and has the same size as a midget.
Man, that midget must be fucking swinging a hammer.
I'm saying if it's backwards.
So it's as big as well.
Midgets, the penis size actually varies.
I didn't mean clinically midget.
I just meant super short dude.
Oh, so me.
A dude that would normally be rocking maybe normal average and then go to somebody that's
six foot six, six and a half feet.
And so like their average, it would, his average would be like terrible.
Yeah.
Maybe like, yeah, I don't have anything.
Itty bitty.
The body proportion does make a big difference.
Itty bitty, pity committee.
Peeny.
Peeny instead of teeny.
I can't say.
It sounds terrible.
Peeny.
I don't know.
Some short guys are blessed.
Blessed by pre-epis.
If you get the reference.
I got, I lucked out.
That's probably why I don't care so much that I'm short.
Exactly.
The only thing I care about is that it looks terrible because I'm so overweight now.
If I was like one, like 40, right, with like a six pack, my God.
I have to say God had to give you something.
It took away your height.
He blessed me with this tremendous intelligence and a fat cock, but made me obese.
You got two knocks and two.
All right.
So we're going to get to meet big Ed.
Big Ed.
Ready?
God, just looking at it now.
It's too much to bear.
He's 54.
I'm super excited because I also bought a ring and I plan to ask Rose to marry me.
Let me lean this way.
It's a lot of man.
I thought that was mayonnaise.
It is mayonnaise.
Why is he putting on his hair?
That's a lot of man.
God.
So I found out that mayonnaise and less dry.
I'm self conscious of my physical appearance because Rose is 31 years younger than me.
31 years younger.
Yeah.
Like an egg salad.
She's 23.
Yeah.
I just want to look young for Rose.
Maybe don't put mayonnaise in your.
Wow.
Whatever.
You want to pile the mayonnaise in?
I'm glad to have you back in here.
You smell like mayonnaise.
I just wanted to treat you like the queen you are.
So will you stand for one second?
What's he doing?
Would you please go take a nice warm bath?
It puts the lotion on the skin or else he gets the hose again.
Does he want those?
I have a jazz.
She brought pajamas.
Perfect.
Okay.
Right this way.
Okay.
Wait.
So he want her ass naked.
Okay.
In the robe.
Respect my boy.
Respect my past.
Respect me like a girlfriend, like a future wife, like love someone.
That's important.
Respect and relationship.
He has none.
Okay.
Sorry.
I got the massage.
I would like to order of your finest champagne.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
I'm definitely looking forward to his sunglasses on the back of his shirt.
He hung them.
He hangs them behind his respect.
I want to take this weird.
Be proud that he can reach back there.
Shut your fucking mouth, sir.
Have her temperature yet when it comes to romance.
Perfect.
Right here.
Okay.
He's being so fucking cringy.
I want to show Rose how romantic I can be.
Okay.
Yes, perfect.
Thank you so much.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Okay.
Rose?
Yes?
Hi.
How are you?
I'm good.
You look great.
Come with me.
Wow.
Yes.
So can you sit down right here?
Yeah.
Just I just on your butt.
Okay.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Where else would you sit on?
You can sit on her fucking legs.
Women do that sometimes.
Can I give a toast to my queen?
What's in there?
Little strawberry.
Where's that?
Yeah.
Okay.
You are the king.
No, I hope I'm not your queen.
You're my queen.
You're the queen and I am the king.
Okay.
I love you.
Cheers.
Close enough.
Oh my God.
That's awesome.
Okay.
So now I want you to relax.
I'm going to give you the best foot massage you've ever had.
Okay.
Relax.
So fucking creepy.
And you can go and take off your robe.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Fine.
Perfect.
Okay.
Nice.
That was weird.
What was that about?
He was like, oh my, you still got your pajamas on.
He was like, wow, you look amazing.
I couldn't tell his reaction.
I think he was mad that she wasn't butt naked.
It's a weird way to do a foot massage.
Yeah.
Well, he would have tried sucking the toes if it wasn't me.
He's really unrelaxed is what I mean.
She probably is very unrelaxed too at this point.
I don't blame her.
You don't want to say somebody like that.
You got some hairy legs by the way.
You're late.
So how do you say kiss in Tagalog?
Okay.
May I?
The other can.
She fucking picked her forehead.
Okay.
One kiss.
Can you leave it?
I have never in my life kissed a woman like this.
Can I have like you?
Oh my God.
That was nice.
Good morning.
How are you?
Oh, he showed his face is why Rose's father doesn't live here, but he decided to stay
the night to keep an eye on me.
He wants to take a shower with you.
He's going to take a shower with her?
Maybe that's your culture.
I don't fucking know.
Look at his face.
Yeah, he looks completely uncontrolled about taking a shower with another grown man, which
I don't blame him.
Take a wash together.
Wait, is she going to shower with him too?
No.
Okay.
I'm like, you're getting a little too weird.
There's just two of them.
Why is she still there though?
I think she leaves.
Nice tattoos.
He has the smallest titties for a fat man I've ever seen.
I got a solid C cup at least.
He's got no titties at all.
That's weird.
Why is he freaking out?
Because it's cold.
Oh.
This has to be the weirdest experience of my life.
Why do they still have their fucking shorts on?
I'd be ass naked taking a shower.
I wouldn't give a fuck.
I'm going to get cleaned one way or another.
Are those chickens?
There's chickens.
He's not used to this.
This is like a Mexican environment that I'm going to be 100% used to this.
Exactly.
You can tell that he's from the California area.
Yeah.
Chickens everywhere.
The fucking concrete.
Every structure.
Taking a shower with a hose.
Yeah.
That's Mexico 101.
That's Southside Oklahoma City.
He was not prepared for this though.
I'm done.
You're done.
That was weird.
What is that?
A dead rat.
Oh fuck.
That sucks.
Again, Southside.
It's still alive.
It looks like a rat.
Someone else?
Yeah, after he broke up with Rose.
He gets his back waxed.
Somehow he got two women.
He's rocking that haircut though.
It fits him better than the last one.
The manners.
Yeah, that was a bad idea.
He constantly wants to massage.
It's probably his fetish.
No harm I guess than that.
As long as you know what you're doing.
Ravioli.
I don't know why I said that.
He's probably thinking it.
Don't you lie to me.
He just felt that way for that girl Rose.
Yeah, Rose.
Oh yeah.
Don't do that.
That booty.
That booty though.
What the fuck?
That was weird.
I thought that was a little dog.
He's got a bunch of nerves in his shoulders too because he's got no neck.
Oh, he's ass naked.
He's all business right now.
That cameraman got an eye full of some cock.
He's like, damn it.
Big Ed.
And he was naked.
I'm not going to get my dick.
But they were dating.
I'm confused now.
There's a little role play.
Please don't moan.
Yeah, I knew he was a fucking moaner.
I fucking knew it.
Yeah, like he's struggling to talk.
Get that laser surgery.
Knock that shit out.
The business.
He wants the business.
Damn fucking ripped a hole off of his fucking back.
Jesus.
Why's the wrist so white?
It was the same noise he made if he took a strap on.
I fucking know it is.
He's like, you're going too deep.
You're not going to get up there.
He's like, I'm not going to get up there.
You're going to get up there.
Well, that's the only one big in the whole world.
I don't even know how to access that.
I don't even have that app on my desk.
We've talked about this before.
I created that a year and a half ago,
that motherfucker just immediately dropped.
I would know that and said last active two hours ago damn big head me
He now say it's not him again dammit
I have the proof Sean ass were you on dating apps this year you lied you said no I said yes you were
That was me
You hear his voice
Yeah, he did it
They're gonna fucking they're gonna throw them under the bus those goddamn producers
Those motherfuckers
If I was that big and I thought they'd have my back hell no they want more drama. Yeah, they sure do
He's so stupid a lot the things
I'm gonna he comes up with some stupid shit. He's an interesting character
Well, he wants his love and
You know a lot of it
Well, like one of the creepiest things that he ever did is whenever he was with Rose
Because you were talking about her hairy legs. Mm-hmm. Hey guys, like this needs to be shaved
This needs to be shaved so she went in there and she shaved and then she comes back up
She said better better and he rubs his finger like
But is it the thing that it's because of the way it big head looks
It's not a traditional like if it was a more attractive man doing all that stuff when people still consider it creepy in certain respects
Yeah, or is only because it's big ad. I think it's I think it's a combination of both
Because he's kind of like he thinks he's an extremely attractive dude. That's just self-confidence
a
Certain extent like I am just dripping with sexuality
Like I if I hit women with the smolder of my fucking eye gaze they'll fucking nut their
Game that was a little too far
Yeah
big edges
He's he's just well
They also caught it like whenever I think we were talking about it one time where he's a photographer, too
Mm-hmm, so they come in he's like yes. Yes exactly like that
And he looks at
This cash phrase or something. I don't know
The fucking hissing nice and then on top of that he created his own stickers his own merchandise to try to sell it
Nobody ever bought it. So it was sitting at his house whenever he was dating that last girl
So what the who are the other two women? The first one was from 90 day fiance
I know that one but like that was the second girlfriend right who caught him with the dating app
But who was she showing she was showing these other two women
Those were his sugar babies
sugar babies yes
Between the two women he dated these other women apparently and he called him a sugar babies. Well, what does it have to do with her?
because
While she was dating him he went back to go see him again
I'm real confused, but she seemed to accept those two because he told her about him, but she would not the dating app
Yes, because he was just recently on that
The same day that man is a fucking horn dog
Yeah, he wants all the business and a lot of people pointed out to whenever he started day for 90 day fiance crap
When he went over to the Philippines to see that girl Rose. Uh-huh. He was treating her like a sex tourist would
So never get it. No, he expected her to to do a
STD test and stuff like that, but they the doctors are not good enough for him to do one
Because she said okay. Okay, I'll do it you do too
No, no, no, I do
He must have some sd
Herpes lingering
Exactly. I don't know
And then he's an interesting guy
To me he's just this was not the worst of it that I've ever seen
He's an even bigger creep than this
And he likes to like I would never do such a thing
The funniest part is when they show him a video of him doing it this thing that you caught me doing
I would never do that. They thought well, I only did that because
well
Well, I mean I tlc must love him. Oh they do because he's on another like yeah
He's on like he's just he's he's eye candy, you know, like, you know, you know what? I mean, like yeah, like view
Marketable. Yeah
Because he's so out there. He's so unique of a person like, you know, honey boo boo like everyone
I don't know how that show took over the fucking world
Yeah, and like the thousand pound sisters thousand pound sisters each of them were like one of them was like 700 on the three
100 pounds. Yeah. Well four and six, I think four and six damn six
Yeah, well, I'm pushing almost like 270 somethings. That's not good on a five foot three frame
That is horrendous, but but you're at least not riding around on a rascal
Yeah, it does look very appealing sometimes
Just sitting on a rascal
And be like Cartman where if you get knocked over you have a kickstand that comes back stand to save you back up
Oh, man, it's wheel like a pig
When he falls, yeah
They also made him like look fatter on the rascal. Yes, they Carmen normally looks when he's walking
He's the funniest shit ever. They just make him look like a fucking beach ball. Okay shirt sticking up underneath this fucking jacket
Like whatever they did the uh, make love not warcraft
And he was he was fucking rotund all of them got big remember? Yeah, they all got big but Cartman got big
ma'am ma'am I need a poo
Bathroom mom bathroom and she comes out and he just fucking blows ass
Just he bends over and like there's no there's no back
There's like there's like the the the top back for your your like upper spine the bottom back's just empty air
So he just fucking leans back and just blows all over his mom's fucking the little fucking
Uh urinal thing she had yeah, the little pan the bed pan and then but she's he still hits her all on her fucking arm her face
She's got shit all over her. He's like, ah, thank you, man. He doesn't even wipe his ass, but to be fair
That's not the first time that she's been shit on probably not
Always that shit. You remember she's a down whore freak
Oh, man
But you know how crazy the South Park is in general
You know what they make you do in the the second game. They make you give a lapdance to grown men
Oh, yeah, I remember that and then you have to get them to that like completion point so you can win the mini game
Yes, so you have to make them come. I'm just like man. This is
too much for me
And this coming from you this is too much for you
Then we got into a fistfight with these guys. Yeah, I got really good at that strategy game
like I just like learned the
The best team for me. Mm-hmm
Beautiful. I can play that game on the hardest difficulty the hardest boss. No problem. Yeah, Morgan Freeman
You won't believe me, but you're getting a fistfight with Morgan Freeman and it is truly a daunting endeavor
But that's all I got for today anything else to add before we head out
Hey big ad can we come on your TLC TV show
Hey big ad, can we come on your TLC TV show maybe they'll pay us too
Hi big and I'm also big and I'm big at number two
Now I don't live in there. I can be that uh, I don't know that I'm more uh, I
Don't know. I don't say like I don't say like I'm like twice as charming as big head, right?
But I wouldn't talk to women in that weird way. He does
It's creepy and cringy. Yeah, it's just like I yeah, but it's more of a natural like uh, just watching him try to look up at him
I don't know. He just has he tries too hard. I think I think so too, but he's also like already in his almost 60s. So
He's not gonna change anytime soon. Yeah, and the sad part is both of those women are younger than his daughter
He has a daughter
Well, damn which is even worse. I'm big edna
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, she's not fat like him though
He's not opposite. He's just big bond and to live with his mama
Wait, so she's what super thin?
Not super thin but it's skinnier than him
Then he lived with his mom and he kicked her out
Wait, he kicked his own mom out of the house. Yes
Damn, so he's kind of still coming off as a creep
Yeah, and it's come out everything where he kicked her out didn't talk to her for like a year. What'd she do?
She didn't do anything. What'd he do?
He kicked her out
There was a reason and then broke off all conversation with her completely
Where his best friend had to go talk to his mom because he wouldn't who's his best friend?
Different poly sure. I don't know why I think they hang out together
in my head
Who's that guy? He was hanging out with that was making fun of him all the time
But he was also like sort of famous in the reality tv type atmosphere
Uh
Can't remember off the top of my head. Yeah, I mean neither it's weird
But he was like if he would make fun of big ed be like, I'm doing that
You still you say yes, stop
Yeah, he's always gonna I feel like it was carrot top just fucking tearing him a new asshole, but I don't think it was carrot top
Now I kind of need to know who the fuck he was hanging out with one episode that I saw
One episode that I saw
Aren't something like it's so weird how reality tv works
They're just like that's like like you'll have like actors, right?
And they'll just keep popping up on tv. He's like, oh, it's that actor
Yeah, or movie actors will keep popping up in movies and you got reality stars who keep popping up in reality fucking programs
Isn't that weird? Yeah, it was like they they become like the that part of that little admin that whole little fucking universe. Yeah
So it's almost like like they just like
manufactured and fake
Who would have thought yeah, who would thought reality tv is not real?
You got fucking uh, john and k plus eight then k plus eight then k minus one so it's seven now, so I don't
Yeah, there's some horror stories with k apparently. Yeah, i've heard some crazy things
But the guy you know what the guy was saying that he was making they were they were making
For tlc like 128 million dollars every quarter. Yeah, i'm like how?
All the people that watch the channel man, they were making money and that's why they would never let him leave the show
Yeah, and then john left and they fucking threw him through the ringer
Made him seem like he was a fucking deadbeat dad. Yeah
But then again, we don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know him personally exactly could be an asshole douchebag for all I know
Yeah, but again reality tv is not as real
Go now go figure. Hey, uh, uh, put me on big brother
Big brother. Hey, are you guys listening put me hey
And watch me burn the whole fucking house to the ground
I would be the worst. I would be the anti-reality tv star
Where I would just I would just be like, you know, I would hang out with one group right and I would insinuate
Then I go to the next one. I would insinuate and then it'd be like hey, you're gonna you're gonna help us vote her out
No problem. You i'm on it with you guys and then she'll be she'll go. Hey, you're gonna not vote me out right?
I mean, of course not. I will never vote you out and i'm just constantly like all day long just fucking ruining people's uh agendas
with jimmy that one, uh, it came up on uh, one of the youtube things but uh
There there was this one lady that uh
Her and this guy were joking around because he came around to corner and he was messing with her
But not in like any kind of like
Extremely bad way, but then she turned around and said that he assaulted her
Hmm never saw that. Yeah
And it came and then he she got all the people in that big brother house to hate him
because uh, she said that he uh hit her or something like that and
It's like it come it come to find out at the end. He's like he didn't do anything
He's like he didn't do anything. Don't have the camera. So yeah, so they just let it play. Yes
motherfuckers, yep
and then she said but he did and then it's like but the video shows that he didn't like
But he did I would burn that house to the ground slowly, but surely that's what i'm saying. They deserve
For their house another thing is if it was if you put me on the amazing race, right?
You know how like they're always bugging just booking it like every like they're always running. I just like
uh
Just be walking everywhere
I want to be the anti-reality star
Well, like here's your script like fuck the script
It's game on
If you put me on survivor, i'll guarantee it
Get everybody eliminated. I'll figure out. I just like constantly just fucking with people
Why not? You know, we're on tv
And we're supposed to play it up for the other camera, right? So i'm just be the most devious motherfucker. You thought the riddler was bad
Wait till you meet me
And then they have the fucking reunion episode they they learn all the drama and i'm just like
So now, you know the real me well, there was also that video that came out put me on the bachelor the bachelor
I promise you did you see that?
Either did you see that guy that was on the bachelor rat where uh, it's a famous clip now
But um, he was uh talking to her because the day before apparently they had some kind of competition to where they had to play strip dodgeball
But he didn't participate for some reason and then he was on a date with her the next day and he's like, you know
I don't really think that's
Good. I don't want my daughter to see me and like doing that kind of stuff because he's already got a daughter
So whatever and she's like, well, yeah, but they like doing it or whatever and he's like, you know, if you keep doing this
If you keep uh treating relationships this way, you know, you're 38. So
You know, this is what's gonna happen. She's like
She said something to him and he got up and walked away and then she said something else and he's like he's like
Well, that's why you're fucking 38 and still single
Damn, that's a mad man
basically he said
That's basically what he called her as a hag man
Uh, ava and preach did a whole video about it where they made fun of that for a long time
I'd be winning that rose for sure. Yeah, and then they did a reunion like or not reunion
But uh, like a get together of all the people at the very end
And what's even more fucked up is she had already chosen who she was gonna marry before the show began
So she's making them go through everything
Yeah, that's the whole thing. Like I know for a fact that nothing's gonna happen, right?
Yeah, so that would be the most for you on that kind of show would be perfect
like
But whenever they had their little you know girl we could do this thing
We don't have to do this thing is you know, we just go with the flow, you know
I'm just you know, i'm just a hippie. I like to serve and whatnot. You're making shit up every day
Like they get some tasty waves, you know, you know me man
Never set the day in my life
And then at that reunion the next episode i'm like, i'm a hard working farmer boy
They wake up at 6 a.m
You know feed the cows kick out the roosters make sure the coyotes don't be getting any then the next episode
Just random shit every time
I think I lost my damn mind. The only thing that bothered me is during that uh reunion part
The other dudes they were simping so hard for this girl at the end
Even though she had already married the other guy like whoever she had chosen
And this is after like everything was known and they said you didn't need to treat her that way. He's like I said what I said
I said
And they were so pissed and then they even the the person doing the interview part of it or whatever
He's like, you know, I I don't ever do this
But i'm gonna give you a chance to apologize to her. He's like i'm good. So give me the mic
I'll apologize. Absolutely nobody
Fucking hilarious though
They take this so they take that shit so seriously these reality stars. I know I wouldn't give a fuck
That's why I said you'd be perfect for it
I'd be like fuck it all up pay it very much. I'd pay to see that shit
Yes, if more people would i'd be you'd see me on fucking big brother tomorrow. I would pay to see that shit
Where you just fuck it all up
I'd just be sitting in the confession. This is the most boring shit i've ever been in my life
They got no books. All they do is yap all god dang day gossip. Yeah
God, I gotta hear this. I gotta hear all this bullshit all day long
It's like now I know her cycle whenever she
This guy over here keeps fucking swinging his dick in his fucking pajamas all day long, I don't know why
Maybe it's maybe it's a power play. Who knows
I just read the things you were saying with a confessional
But that's everything I got for today and we'll see you guys on the next one
I dare you big brother hire me. We'll see who wins me or you for the love of god, please