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This is what we are covering tonight.
I'm just going to rant.
I'm just going to go with whatever I come to mind.
I'm going to just talk about it for like 30 minutes.
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Let me start with an apology here.
Apparently it's Nick Aragwa.
Not there you go.
You figured it out.
Yeah, you I am.
I feel like such a dumbass.
I legitimately thought it was with a G.
So that last episode or whatever, I just kept saying it over and over again was unbelievably
wrong on your side.
Yes, I was wrong.
To be fair, every person you ever hear from Nicaragua.
Yeah, like I thought it's with a G.
That's how they say it.
And then one day I was on Tiktok and it was like yesterday and Chelsea Handler was like,
I didn't know Costa Rica was next to Nick Aragwa.
And I'm like, huh?
Because they had some of the subtitles.
So I look it up on Google and I'm like, son of a bitch, it's got a C. I feel so fucking
stupid.
But again, to be fair, every single one from Nicaragua need to fix that.
That's how they sign it.
They need to fix it.
Think how many words are stretched out like that where they can't say the words right
and they always say, yeah, well, I feel fucking stupid.
So now from now on, if you ever hear me say, it's going to be so enunciate.
Nick Aragwa.
She did it because she's white.
She knows that if she says it wrong, we're going to come after her ass.
They could.
Well, that's the only reason she said it that way.
That's what Nick.
I just want to I just want to say it like it's supposed to be said.
You've seen that they don't want to add G in it.
They shouldn't add a G to it unless it's one of those countries where like Brazil, where
they're like they're ours or H's.
Well, it's the way they enunciate.
Yeah.
So it's like Royce Gracie instead of Royce.
Yeah.
That's just how it is.
That was cool.
Yeah.
It's just how they say their words.
My name is how?
How do you say Raul?
How loud were it?
So anyway, it's just one of those dumb things.
We're like, damn, it's the same thing.
You know, you know, you know why it bothered me was the fact that it's happened to me before
my friend back in the day, Rodney, we were watching Boogie Nights and his favorite actor
came on like, oh, shit, look, it's it's done.
Don Chidell.
And so so who am I?
He's like Don Chidell.
So I'm like, oh, it's that guy.
So instead of Cheetal.
Yes.
I was fucking living.
I'm not fine.
It was Cheetal.
You're busy whenever you say Nicaragua, you're saying it the way they say it in Nicaragua.
Like you're not mispronouncing, mispronouncing the word because you're saying it in their
language.
You speak Spanish.
I hate Spanish.
I can't complain like that.
Yes, I can.
Like, see, what's worse is whenever you try to use Chinese.
There's a thing I can't remember if it's Chinese or Korean, but there's a whole group of people
that were mad about it because you know, whenever you say like you go up to a menu, right?
And you're thinking it's like, so what would you like to order?
Whatever.
And you go chicken nuggets and fries.
It is the easiest thing in the world.
Every restaurant has chicken nuggets and fries.
Pretty much.
Or chicken tenders.
But you know, the uh, like things.
Oh, the uh, in China or Korea, I can't remember which one it is.
They say ni ga.
Oh, over and over and over.
Cause that's just how they, that's the words they say.
You know how many black people weren't happy about that?
Well, what can you do?
My point is the people that live in these two countries, they probably don't really
care about race like that because they don't use those words.
Yeah.
So it means totally different things to them.
It's only as an American that you care about exactly how it sounds.
So what I'm saying is don't be upset with yourself.
I will always be upset with myself.
Every day, every night.
Just look in the mirror and it's like, you fat piece of shit.
You're somebody's father.
I'm not, I don't have any kids, but I remember Peter Griffin saying that.
You know, so, uh, I recently came to light of some medical issues I have that I finally
want to take care of.
It's sad people, but I tried to be, uh, I tried to get, you know, people like to get
rich and famous to buy stuff or, or I'm gonna get a new car, a new house or, you know, live
off of this great money.
I always tried to make a lot of money so I can just take care of my medical problems.
I know it's sad, but that's what it is in life.
We all, you know, the priorities that are upfront to you is what you worry about.
Like if you have like a shitty house, you want to buy a good house.
If you have a shitty car, a good car, you got a shitty body.
You want to fix that shitty body.
And uh, anyway, so I'm gonna take care of that stuff next year.
It's nothing, uh, graphic, but it is like the quality of life stuff that'll make me
a better person physically.
Anyway, after that stuff, I thought like, man, I've lived my life very sheltered in
the way like I portray myself like physically to people body wise, right?
Like I don't have like the, the nose piercings, the fucking purple hair, the mohawk.
I'm bald as fuck so I couldn't have a mohawk anyway.
That would be, you've seen they, uh, they make those like fake ones, right?
There's this one guy that went out to somebody that had a red mohawk on like a, some kind
of street or whatever, but he goes up to him and he's like, ah, dude, is that real?
They lift it up.
He's bald as fuck.
And I was thinking like, man, like they got like the fucking, those like the fucking chains
and around there, like they got these big ass fucking combat boots.
Like that's never me.
Right.
I'm very, you're not golf.
I'm ready.
No, I'm just very reserved.
But you just described it.
I don't know.
Maybe it's what I meant to you from women.
Who knows?
But I was like, I want to break bad one day and get something interesting that's out there.
And I was like, oh, got it.
So I don't know when, but sometime in the near future after my medical stuff is taken
care of and I have more time, more free time to be at home, right?
I'm going to fucking, I'm going to get me some piercings.
Where?
I'll tell you where.
I'm going to give me some, I even haven't picked out.
I have, I'm going to keep getting these little angel wing and nipple piercings, right?
Boom, boom, right on my titties.
Then I'm going to get a, a cock ring.
I don't want to pierce through my actual urethra, right?
Or the actual penis.
But luckily I have foreskin, so it's going to be through my foreskin.
So just a big fat gold cock ring.
And then say piercing.
Great.
You know what?
It's different though.
Is it?
Oh, I guess it is a fat Albert.
What is it called?
The Prince Albert.
I'm so sorry.
I just realized who you are.
Hey, hey, hey, look at my dick.
So the nipple piercings, like little angel wings, little, yeah, little angel wings.
I have a picture.
I saved it on my phone.
The Prince Albert.
Underneath the foreskin instead of the actual penis.
Cause I just want to be able to pee normally.
And that shit shoot out everywhere.
And I want to make it gold cause gold looks cool.
Like the biggest, like give me the biggest one you got and then go one down.
That's massive.
Like, God dang.
And then I'm going to shave all my pubic hair, right?
I was thinking about doing it in the design.
Like, oh, I'm going to turn it like a little, like a little thunderstorm.
But I realized I'm too lazy to maintain it.
So I'm going to just shave it all off and get a tattoo right above my penis and just
be like, fuck, we want to put those short shorts, like it's gleans down.
That's me.
That's me breaking bad.
Those three things I'm going to do in succession.
So yes, I'm Walter White.
So that I don't do, I don't make math.
I was going to say that I'll get to this part of the game more.
They'll do it there for me.
The all in one place, huh?
The tattoo and everything.
I don't know, because like, I'm like, I'm very conservative dress wise, right?
Like I'm just a normal, like no crazy designs.
I don't even wear like design t-shirts, right?
Like I'm very like modest in my dressing, but when I fucking rip it off, women are going
to be like, oh damn.
It's like I'm all business, right?
Outerwear and I'm all dirty innerwear.
So you want your outside to reflect your perviness inside.
Yeah.
You want to see the, you want to see the, you want to see the, uh, the nipple one.
That's going to be scary.
Oh really?
It looks really cool.
It's between that one and the gun one.
Oh, did you think about how much pain all these things are going to be?
Yeah.
But for some reason I don't like get taken needles, right?
I don't mind taking it one on the dick.
That's kind of weird.
I just realized.
Oh, don't worry if it gets infected, it'll be okay.
You know why I'm not afraid of the needles as much is because I, when I went to the dentist,
they fucking put one in my mouth.
I'm like, well shit, I can take one on the dick then.
A little wing one right here at the bottom.
Oh God.
You see it?
You're going to be one of those people that have to go through like the metal detectors
and it's like, do you really want to see?
I just pull it out.
They're not removable.
Exactly.
I just pull it out.
Like I just pull them out.
Here you go.
I'm going to pull my dick out.
There it is.
No danger to anybody but women and the good kind of danger.
And I leave and then I get a red shirt on.
I just lift my shirt up, boom, just whip it all out.
The tattoo.
You know, you know what I want?
I want the tattoo to be in reflection of Priapus, the Roman God of big dicks.
That's basically what he is.
But I'll just have the artist like, you know, Priapus, right?
He's like, you know, damn well I do.
And he's like, I'm like, I need, I need like a symbol, like my own personal symbol of Priapus.
Like it's like, it's like, like, oh, I worship Priapus or anything like that.
It's just like, oh, the guy like it'd be like having like an Aphrodite tattoo or something,
you know, something simple.
The Priapus, the Roman God of, you know, my own personal design of Priapus.
And then all you need is your trans thing.
No, not the backside.
No, the front side.
Sure.
Maybe if I make a little maze, the girl can follow with her eyes and she's, you know,
trying to solve it.
That's me breaking bad basically.
You should always break bad a little bit.
Nothing too dangerous or bad, you know?
Don't be so fucking stuck up your own ass like, you know, like you're just going to
fucking, that you can break a stick with your butt cheeks.
You don't want to walk around with a clenched asshole all the time?
No, I want to, I want to be responsible, right?
And you know, bail paid, you know, never go over the speed limit, no, no, commit no crimes.
But you know, you got to break bad a little bit.
And you know, women, when, you know, when they see how like, how like boring I am, how
to wear and then they see the business on the inside.
They're going to be like, Oh my God.
Be up at the nude beach just fucking swinging it like a fucking barbell.
Yeah.
You hear that bell ringing.
Can't hear you just apologize to everybody.
Not about the word, but I'm not about, I'm not about apologize about myself.
No giving people that image.
Oh, they'll get to see it one day.
If they posted on the internet, I'm like, Oh, there it is.
Then the kids come up like they're like 18, 19.
Dad, is this you?
That's me swinging it, huh?
First of all, don't we look at me up online for one, for two, that is me for three.
I feel bad for all those people that have kids that are on only fans and stuff like
that.
Oh my God.
I know that they're going to get made fun of in school.
The kids are the parents that have the only fans, the parents that have the only thing.
Oh, and then they have kids.
You gotta suck that up junior.
I'm sorry.
It's like, yeah, it's a rough life.
I seen your mom's Gucci last night on the only fans.
Oh man.
Talking about coochie.
That was his TikTok video.
Apparently this girl, there's three women, all roommates, right?
And one of them had a vibrator that she decided to clean off on the dry mat of the dishes.
And the other one freaked the fuck out.
So I don't want your coochie juice.
All of my fucking dishes.
He just started screaming at her and I like it's to, you know, like to be honest, yes.
Why are you using a drying mat in the kitchen for your fucking dildo?
And she's like, she just, she just screaming coochie juice on my dishes.
I'm like, oh God, I can't remember what TLC show it was.
It might've been one of them anyway, where the guy had one of those, a, not a pocket,
but a, a, the full one that has to button everything.
God damn man.
Once we went to the, the, the all elite 3000 and he put it in the dishwasher.
Oh God.
I can't even imagine what happened.
Now it's like, but you, you wash dishes.
My sister once, uh, but you know, the, the fucking, the vacuum cleaner for dog shit.
She cleaned the outside of it and on the fucking in the sink.
My God, you nasty bitch.
My dad once put fucking dish soap in the fucking dishwasher.
Oh, that's not good.
No, cause I came into, I came to the fucking kitchen.
I'm like, my God, it's a rave in here.
Fucking bubbles everywhere.
All over the fucking kitchen floor.
Well, maybe Matt is like, when I told him about it, he's like, did you clean it up though?
I'm like, motherfucker, you made the damn mess.
Why the fuck should I have to clean it up?
Yeah.
You shouldn't ever use dish soap in any dishwasher.
He learned the hard way.
Yeah.
No, no, he did.
Cause he didn't clean up anything.
Exactly.
He didn't even learn.
That's what the sun's for.
You'll do it homes.
You didn't say homes.
So I'm sorry.
Oh man.
Well, that's, that's the Ransford today.
Is that your whole rant for today?
Yeah.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'll do the extra Ransford today so that's your whole rant for today.
I'd like to keep it short and sweet.
I don't know.
You looked at me like I was going to say something else and I was, and I was going to, but I
was like, nah, I won't give you the satisfaction.
That's what I made it funnier for you.
The cloud or silence, uh, mean not, not adding anything to the bullshit I just said.
That's why I left.
It's like, there's nothing else.
There was but I died I was like no you're not gonna give me the satisfaction. I hold the high ground today
Don't try it Anakin
All right anything else Ted before we head out there um
Don't try your dildos on the drying mat with the dishes you have you get a special towel for that
Well, don't bring it into the kitchen at all for the most part
Yeah, she must have washed it in the sink and left it on the dry. Oh god. She played dead
I left it on the drying mat
She juice all my dishes
She was fucking living
That was apparently strike three too. I don't know what the other two were but they must have been horrendous. They probably just as bad
It probably worse
It's like this is just the last straw. This is the one that broke the camel's back
You know what's breaking you know what's breaking is them buying those Dollar Tree condoms
But why you chanting 10 have they actually sold yeah, we they sold all of them. Oh Jesus Christ for a dollar thirty six
You're gonna you're gonna you're gonna find out real quick. Well how strong 10 condoms
Well there's gonna be a bunch of new kids in this world so yeah, Audrey babies
Dollar Tree babies
Even my fucking mic stand is all fucked up
I said a crack babies dollar store babies and dollar store babies
We will head out them tune in next time cuz I will always rant. We'll see you next time