1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,920 Hello and welcome back to Reddit Insanity. 2 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,960 We are at number 22. 3 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,240 Today we have some more. 4 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,560 Today I fucked up. 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,560 We're back on it again. 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,120 We'll have a different one next week though, so don't worry. 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,600 It'll be a different uh. 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,120 That will be titled today you fucked up. 9 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,120 Exactly. 10 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:33,920 Alright, the first one is by the real on you. 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:39,520 OK, this person put wait, is he the real one though? 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,480 He's the one OK, good to know. 13 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:44,760 Today I fucked up. 14 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:50,520 Today was the day and the day I post my first today I fucked up and ironically is this irony 15 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,360 or am I never sure I'm using the term correctly? 16 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:58,520 Really Shakespeare hurry up it is about another today I fucked up. 17 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,100 Why did I turn on the Internet today? 18 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:02,480 At this point I'm questioning many aspects of my life. 19 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,800 I'm wondering if I've used enough characters to make this post eligible for the mods and 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:12,060 bots who can know I'm wondering if I should go out for a run to distract my mind away 21 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,360 from the mentalness of the post. 22 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:18,280 I'm wondering what I'll have to eat later on and what I'll do tomorrow at work. 23 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,760 I'm wondering when he's going to get full with the fucking story. 24 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,880 Well that was the end of that one because it's about this next story. 25 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:30,000 That was it was like an update or a prologue. 26 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,640 That was about why he's upset. 27 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:36,240 He's going to have to go out on a run now and he's going to have to worry about eating 28 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:40,200 stuff later and they don't want to do any of that now. 29 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,360 Oh God, it's like a tapeworm one. 30 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:49,440 Not that far, but it's still fucked me up actually. 31 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,720 I'm assuming more people do this than the tapeworm stuff. 32 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:59,640 All right, next one is by Marchie1594. 33 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:05,240 This person puts, I, a 23 year old female, have been in a relationship with a guy that's 34 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,600 33 for like a year. 35 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,160 Okay that's legal. 36 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,160 That's fine, that's fine. 37 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,880 10 years apart ain't that big of a difference. 38 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,280 And they only met a year ago. 39 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,280 Exactly. 40 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,840 We met 10 years ago when you were 13. 41 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:23,560 When we started dating after a month of getting to know each other, we went over to his place 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,720 and did the deed. 43 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:30,720 Enjoyable experience overall, but after he was done, he removed the condom and with very 44 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:37,600 expert gestures proceeded to drink his junk right out of it. 45 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,600 You know what's fucked up? 46 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,600 That's what I thought in my head. 47 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,600 Like I'm just joking in my brain. 48 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:41,600 That's why I'm laughing. 49 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:49,400 It was exactly what I thought it was going to do. 50 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,400 Wow. 51 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:54,040 You mentioned the deeper the drink. 52 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:59,480 Like yeah, I just like, I'm like, what if he drank it? 53 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:04,400 And then you're like, he started drinking it, he did drink it. 54 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,400 Oh man. 55 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,560 I was shocked and confused. 56 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,160 In my head I was like, yo man, what the fuck? 57 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:16,000 I wish you met cause you didn't offer her some or I'm sorry. 58 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,760 Did you want to say it was my first partner? 59 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,000 And like, I wondered if this was kind of normal. 60 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Come on. 61 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 I don't know. 62 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000 When did your first partner? 63 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,440 Apparently that was maybe the first person she had slept with. 64 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,440 Okay. 65 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,440 I don't know. 66 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:33,840 Uh, since I used to be, since I used to be a people pleaser, I managed to hide my shock 67 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,400 and disgust and simply asked him, why did you do that? 68 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,400 He answered me. 69 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,400 I don't want to waste it. 70 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,400 Oh God. 71 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,400 What did he say? 72 00:03:42,400 --> 00:04:01,520 He answered me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 73 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:02,880 It's a lot of kilojoules of energy. 74 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:07,400 I can't wait. 75 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,200 I know this man's fucking whole mental being. 76 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,200 She's talking about you. 77 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,200 No, I would never drink my own scene. 78 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,200 That's gross. 79 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,200 My God. 80 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:22,960 The fact that I can, I can, I can just, I look like a, like a, a detective figuring 81 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,000 out a serial killer's mental. 82 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,600 You know where his mental is going. 83 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,400 I was even more confused. 84 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,400 I was literally speechless. 85 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,400 Did he say kilojoules? 86 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,400 You nasty motherfucker. 87 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,400 That's going to make everything better. 88 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,400 Pretty much. 89 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:40,240 I was even more confused. 90 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,920 I was literally speechless. 91 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,040 And what was being a very nice and a romantic night managed to become a weird and kind of 92 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,880 awkward situation to make things worse. 93 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,280 He even stated at a very dramatic tone. 94 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,640 I will never allow anyone to eat my semen. 95 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,920 He said that like his junk was something precious. 96 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,600 Like if someone would ever get access to that, it'd be like be able to steal a soul. 97 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,600 I don't know. 98 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,600 It made no sense. 99 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,040 And also dude, nobody is here to steal it from you. 100 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,440 Plus you can make more. 101 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,000 I don't know if you'd ever knew that you don't have to drink it though. 102 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,560 You can go back to your day. 103 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,240 Let me break it down for you. 104 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,160 By the way, he wasn't drinking it in a kinky or erotic way. 105 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:29,520 He did it like it was extremely serious and important. 106 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,960 Why drinking your own must be so dramatic. 107 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:32,960 I don't know. 108 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,200 Hey man, he can do whatever he wants. 109 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,560 He's not hurting anybody. 110 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:43,440 We kept dating for several months and every time we had sex, every single time, she's 111 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,440 like, well, let's try it again. 112 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,440 Maybe he won't do it this time. 113 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,000 Wait every single time. 114 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:54,960 I started to become very concerned since usually inside of the condoms, uh, there's some lube, 115 00:05:54,960 --> 00:06:00,840 I guess he even, uh, he even complained about the, uh, the taste bad of the lube or the 116 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,240 latex of the condom that it made it. 117 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:08,240 He gives us on flavored condoms. 118 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,400 The taste of his own somehow didn't bother him at all. 119 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,400 Good for him. 120 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:18,240 And even if I usually lube is not that toxic, I think that could zoom in a small amount, 121 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,000 but very often may not be the healthiest habit. 122 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:26,520 Also his breath right after this ritual almost made me throw up all the time since he even 123 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,900 refused to brush his teeth afterwards. 124 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:32,680 His response to that though was I didn't shoe, I swallowed in one gulp. 125 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,680 So I don't need to brush my teeth. 126 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,840 It's a lot to digest here. 127 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,520 I tried to discreetly make him understand that his habit was grossing me out by saying 128 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:47,640 out loud, you are covering my eyes, but he didn't get the clues or he didn't care. 129 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,640 He cared. 130 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,760 You're not the first one to say you won't be the last. 131 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,100 Hey, you're passed by girl. 132 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:57,360 If you can't stand the weird habit, you need to step away from the situation. 133 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,360 I had to know. 134 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:04,080 No, after a fucking year, he must have drank like a gallon of it by that point. 135 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,600 I tried to confront him, but nope, he was immovable. 136 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,880 Neither the fact that his passion for his own gizz was making me a little uncomfortable. 137 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,360 Did he just point up when he's jacking off? 138 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:21,440 Nor the fact that eating lube could be harmful made him stop. 139 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,440 He then proceeded to get mad. 140 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,440 Is it harmful? 141 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,160 Probably a few gallons of it whenever you're drinking your own. 142 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,760 Lubes go into a body part, so wouldn't it be non-toxic? 143 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,600 But that doesn't say for digestion, like ingesting it. 144 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,120 I'll have to research this situation. 145 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,360 He then proceeded to get mad. 146 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,600 He stated that he wasn't doing anything wrong, that he just didn't want to waste his precious 147 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,080 substances from his body. 148 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,080 I'm with the guy. 149 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,800 If that's what he wants to do, you go ahead. 150 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,440 If I was her, I'd be like, well, I guess I'll see you later because this is weird as fuck 151 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,440 for me. 152 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,880 That's all she had to say. 153 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,560 And that I was making a scene for nothing. 154 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:02,600 I told him that his breath and he straight up accused me of having bad smell. 155 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:07,640 This wasn't using a condom, so it's not even tasting anything of hers. 156 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,680 I guess he outside of the condom, but... 157 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,680 He told me that by... 158 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:15,320 I imagine after he sucks it dry right, he turns the condom inside out and licks the 159 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,320 rest of it. 160 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,320 Like a chewing gum. 161 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,480 So gross. 162 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:39,120 Imagine the bitter silence of him chewing on a condom while she watched it. 163 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:44,560 I told him that by deflecting, he was making things worse, but he interrupted me and just 164 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,280 told me I was insufferable. 165 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,960 Just break up with him. 166 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,760 Just break up with him. 167 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,760 Apparently she did. 168 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:55,040 If the woman did something that I just could not get over right, I'm like, look, I'm sorry. 169 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,600 I know it's your thing and you like it and I would never want you to not do the thing 170 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,120 that you enjoy, but I can't watch you do it. 171 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,520 We need to just break up. 172 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,360 Now do you see why the first guy was like, I'm wondering what I'm going to be eating 173 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,080 later and I don't know if I want to eat it. 174 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,080 He's not going to eat semen. 175 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,680 I mean, he's worrying too much. 176 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,280 It's going to be that one mental worm again where... 177 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,760 This old man looks like cum. 178 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,040 He can throw the whole thing across the table. 179 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,040 Pretty much, yeah. 180 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,200 Think about that though, do you know how many things are thick? 181 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,200 This milk looks like cum. 182 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,720 Or if you're stupid, you still eat it. 183 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,240 This cum looks like cum. 184 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,560 God dang. 185 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:33,120 So that was the reason that the first guy was like, I shouldn't have read that shit 186 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,120 this morning. 187 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,120 No kidding. 188 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:42,360 Next one, onto a different subject by Bron07. 189 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,800 So of course this was a month ago, but I recently just got out of the Marine Corps and he did 190 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,560 not eat his own juice. 191 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,120 I recently got out of the US Marine Corps and moved to Australia to live near family 192 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,720 while I completed a degree with the GI Bill. 193 00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:00,680 Anyway, I was out in town meeting with some potential employers and had been busy all 194 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,160 morning and afternoon. 195 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:07,040 So I found myself getting a real late lunch at a small Japanese joint that was pretty 196 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,040 busy. 197 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,400 Being ex-infantry, old habits tend to die hard. 198 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,760 Within two minutes of teriyaki chicken and rice being delivered to my table, I had completely 199 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,960 demolished the entire plate with barely a rice grain left in the bowl. 200 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:23,880 I whupped it down and I guess I was slightly hunched over the whole time because I was 201 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:24,880 starving. 202 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,880 What do they eat, like prisoners? 203 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:26,880 What the fuck? 204 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:27,880 Because it's timed. 205 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:28,880 Like you have 10 minutes to eat. 206 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:29,880 I got 10 minutes to eat. 207 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,560 Well the previous one, he can eat real quick. 208 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,560 He can suck real quick, you mean? 209 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:39,560 He's like eating one of those, you remember those go-gurt? 210 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,560 Yeah. 211 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:45,000 Imagine that after reading that. 212 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,920 Oh, but I enjoy go-gurt. 213 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:56,120 He'd be like, what was it, Friday after next, where he's like, no, that's just yogurt. 214 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,000 Because the dog was bumping his leg. 215 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Oh god. 216 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000 No, that's just yogurt. 217 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,560 What'd you do to my dog, homes? 218 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,560 You mean next Friday? 219 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,560 What was it, next Friday? 220 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,560 Yeah, in the house. 221 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,560 Yeah, with Chico. 222 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,560 Why'd you do that, he did nothing to you. 223 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,280 They hit him with a bell because the dog was trying to bite him? 224 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,280 Yeah. 225 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,280 He's gone for life. 226 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:24,880 All right, so they put, some larger, heavily tattooed biker type looking gentleman noticed 227 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:29,520 that impressive teriyaki turbo demolition and also noticed that I was built somewhat 228 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,800 well and had a tatted up left arm myself. 229 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,280 He came up to me and immediately asked, how long have you been out? 230 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,000 I think that's why I said prisoner, the way he ate. 231 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,920 Now military dudes can easily recognize other military dudes, even if they're dressed normal, 232 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,600 I guess just the t-shirt and jeans. 233 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:51,520 So I thought I was just being referred to, I said, I just got out, is more or less what 234 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,960 I told him thinking that's what he meant. 235 00:11:54,960 --> 00:12:01,400 Hikea or, he questioned, I couldn't remember the name of the other West Australian prison 236 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,400 he mentioned. 237 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:07,640 But my dumb ass just assumed those were Australian army bases. 238 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,280 Now I camped Lejeune in the States, I told him. 239 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:16,080 At that point, his eyes opened wide and he was telling me that I was hard shit, which 240 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:21,320 is what began to confuse me because as far as I was concerned, Lejeune was nothing special, 241 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,280 just a big multi-purpose base. 242 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,200 I was initially like, huh? 243 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,560 And he clarified it's because I was in, in America. 244 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:34,320 He hadn't used the words jail or prison to my, to any extent in the conversation yet. 245 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,120 And he even sat down to chat with me. 246 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,840 We kind of had some small talk about how the transition is hard. 247 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,480 And so is readjusting your habits and language to be society friendly. 248 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,640 And sure enough, he finally asks what I was in for. 249 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,720 Assuming he meant my MOS, I just went, Oh, infantry. 250 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,640 Was MOS. 251 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:59,440 I don't know what the abbreviations stand for. 252 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,920 Military service, maybe military office service, something like that. 253 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,920 Probably. 254 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,280 So he told him infantry and he's like, what? 255 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:13,080 So kids, we kind of looked at each other after that. 256 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,160 Me confused at the stupidity, him in disgust. 257 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,440 I imagine he would be in disgust. 258 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,400 I clarified that's what they call grunts. 259 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,240 And then he finally comes up with what he was talking about. 260 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,560 What I was in jail for, to which I answered I had never been. 261 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,960 And we both had a bit of an awkward oh shit moment and laughed it off like dumbasses. 262 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,120 We both apologize for being stupid and in our separate ways. 263 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,160 So he clarified that I was in the military and all that. 264 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,160 Yeah. 265 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:41,520 Because whenever he said infants, infantry, like what? 266 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,520 Fucking kids? 267 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,200 That's why he didn't sock him right away. 268 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,200 Like you motherfucker. 269 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,200 How dare you? 270 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,200 That's probably why he's like, huh? 271 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,200 What? 272 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,200 What did you say? 273 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,760 Maybe I didn't want to go to jail, that's why he didn't punch me immediately. 274 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,760 Exactly. 275 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,760 Wait a minute. 276 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:55,760 Do you say kids? 277 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,760 I'm like, no, soldier. 278 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,760 Oh, fuck it puts it from over. 279 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,760 What's Australia so they don't have him? 280 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:02,760 Oh yeah. 281 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,760 He put his snake back. 282 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,760 He put that giant scorpion away. 283 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:13,120 He put a fucking spider that could eat a bird back in his pocket. 284 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,160 Whatever monstrosity they have in Australia. 285 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,320 They don't need guns. 286 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,320 They don't need guns. 287 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,320 They got kangaroos. 288 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,320 That'll drown you. 289 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:23,880 Which they lost in a military conflict, by the way. 290 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,320 And they lost the emus too, didn't they? 291 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,960 Oh no, the emus, that was the one. 292 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,880 And they're losing at war against kangaroos. 293 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:29,880 Goddamn kangaroos. 294 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,480 They're so battle hardened. 295 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,960 And the rodents, so are marsupials anyway. 296 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,320 Yeah, it was the emu war I was thinking about. 297 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,320 They lost. 298 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,320 They lost to birds. 299 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,320 That's even worse than fucking kangaroos. 300 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,320 How do you lose the fucking emus? 301 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,960 Because their feathers are so thick that bullets don't really hurt them. 302 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,720 Yeah, it took like too many machine gun shots. 303 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,720 They killed like 20,000. 304 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,560 There was like millions of them. 305 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:59,160 And it's like they were faster than their jeeps. 306 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,600 They would break up and reform into large parties again. 307 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,760 They were like, God dang, they must have Alexander the Great as their fucking centrals general. 308 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:12,440 So that's why whenever anybody that I know, because I know one Australian person from 309 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,960 work, and he's like, yeah, y'all lost to so and so. 310 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,160 It's like, y'all lost to fucking emus. 311 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,160 Maybe we should not say nothing. 312 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,200 Maybe we shouldn't knock them until we find some emus. 313 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,720 Now we killed all the buffaloes, so it's okay. 314 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:25,720 Oh yeah, never mind. 315 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,600 We've won those wars. 316 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,720 I can't even imagine what Americans would do with emus. 317 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,720 Yes, I can. 318 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,720 They would copper bomb the fuck out of them. 319 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,720 Exactly. 320 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,720 Never mind. 321 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,720 We'd be a fly by and it'd be dope. 322 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,720 Exactly. 323 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,720 We're not going to go out there and just machine gun them. 324 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,240 If we are anything, we're efficient. 325 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,240 Exactly. 326 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,240 Job done. 327 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,240 What's next? 328 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,240 The only thing we can't win against is the hogs. 329 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,240 God dang hogs. 330 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,240 Those feral hogs. 331 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,320 Those are fucking monsters of any kind. 332 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,160 But they actually attack you unlike emus. 333 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,160 Like they will. 334 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,160 Yeah, they'll jump you immediately. 335 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,160 Yeah. 336 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,160 And they have tusks. 337 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,160 Yeah. 338 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,600 Like to me, I think hogs are much more dangerous. 339 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,560 Isn't it weird that if a regular domesticated pig- 340 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,040 They're fine. 341 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,760 But then the minute you put that domesticated pig into the wilderness- 342 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,840 It redevelops into a hog. 343 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,040 It evolves into a Pokemon. 344 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,040 Yeah. 345 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,600 More powerful than what it was. 346 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,600 I'm like, what the fuck happened? 347 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,400 It only takes one generation. 348 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,400 It's weird because if you do that to a dog, right? 349 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,400 Oh, they'd stay the same. 350 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,400 There's the hog. 351 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,120 Yeah, but for some reason there's a god dang hog. 352 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,480 Cats also become feral though. 353 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,480 Do they? 354 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,040 Once you reintroduce them to the wild wilderness? 355 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,040 Nope. 356 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,040 That's interesting. 357 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,520 Not to the extent of a hog. 358 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,880 It lets you know how domesticated dogs are. 359 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:46,480 Well, like a cat won't become, they won't change appearance, but it'll become feral 360 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,480 in mindset. 361 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,480 Oh. 362 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,800 Yeah, hogs are just like, all of a sudden it just comes out. 363 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:52,800 It's literally like an evolution. 364 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,800 Yeah, like- 365 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,400 They go from pink and- 366 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,040 Yeah, to fucking brown and got horns. 367 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,720 Looks like those fucking mammoths. 368 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,200 Those little mammoth Pokemon? 369 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,200 Yeah. 370 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,200 With the tusks? 371 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,200 Tapir ma- no, uh- 372 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,200 Look like a little mop. 373 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 374 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,520 God dang hogs. 375 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:14,640 All right, next one is by It's Toby16. 376 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:15,640 You know why we can't beat him? 377 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,440 Because we won't carpet bomb our own country, so- 378 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,440 Yeah, that's true. 379 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,440 There you go. 380 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,440 We would if we could. 381 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,440 Well, if you live out in the desert, they will. 382 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,440 Well, you know- 383 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,440 They'll know he's a nuke. 384 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,400 There's nothing out there. 385 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,400 Just all the other animals. 386 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,400 Ah, that'll be fine. 387 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:33,800 All right, so this person puts, so this happened yesterday and I'm still dying of embarrassment. 388 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,240 So this happened during a wedding reception. 389 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:42,160 I was really bored and didn't really get along with the family members I was sitting with, 390 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,840 so I took out my phone and in five minutes of mindless scrolling, I decided to read 391 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,760 killing stalking, if you know the manga. 392 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,280 I am so sorry for you, if you do. 393 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,440 I was peacefully reading chapter 18 and if you've read the chapter, it starts with a 394 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,360 very passionate scene. 395 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,800 That's when my cousin's husband looked at my phone and saw what I was reading. 396 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,000 He asked what I was reading and I looked at him mortified. 397 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,560 I immediately turned my phone off and tried to say it was just a manga. 398 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,680 He laughed and told my mom what happened and just scolded, I just got scolded by my mom 399 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,440 for reading that at a wedding. 400 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,000 My mom has been joking about it all day, which is making me feel even more embarrassed. 401 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,880 The TLDR is I read yaoi at a wedding reception and got caught. 402 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,880 Yaoi? 403 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,880 Yeah. 404 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,960 Good old man boy love, or was it boy boy love? 405 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,440 Yeah, yaoi is like Craig and the Tweak. 406 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,320 Yeah, Craig and Tweak style, so boy boy I think, yeah. 407 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,560 Because the other one is NAMBLA, the National Association of the Male. 408 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,560 God dang pedophile. 409 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,920 That Cartman went to where he got all those pop ups. 410 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,920 Oh yeah. 411 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:48,960 Where he's like little boy looking for things. 412 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,560 All over his fucking screen immediately. 413 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,360 Which was funny as fuck. 414 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,560 If the internet has given anybody great freedom, it's fucking pedophiles. 415 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,560 Jesus. 416 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,560 They come out of the god dang woodworks. 417 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,560 Unfortunately, yes. 418 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,560 Fucking horrific situation. 419 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,560 And that's where you say, I'm Chris Hansen. 420 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,320 I'm Chris Hansen and you're fucked. 421 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,640 You thought you were going to, but now you're going to get to. 422 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:18,480 You thought you were, but now you are. 423 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,120 Next one is by... 424 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,640 Imagine like going to the wrong house. 425 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,360 You were being a completely innocent person and you open the door and it's like, I'm Chris 426 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,360 Hansen. 427 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,360 You're like, oh fuck, this is the wrong house. 428 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,040 I'm actually not looking for a child sir. 429 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,520 Oh fuck. 430 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:37,120 That's something that's a miscommunication that would never work. 431 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:41,560 Well there's that one person on there that he's like, want some pizza? 432 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,360 He asked Chris, no, I don't want pizza. 433 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,400 So why don't you sit down? 434 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,400 He said, why don't you sit down? 435 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,400 Just have a seat. 436 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,400 Just have a seat. 437 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,720 Remember when they had Chris Hansen on South Bronx of Parody? 438 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,720 Yeah. 439 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,560 He had that ability where he's like, just have a seat. 440 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,560 And Carmen couldn't stop. 441 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,040 He's like, how do you do this? 442 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,960 Carmen's sitting down no matter what. 443 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,400 Regardless of who he says it to. 444 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,400 They just sit down. 445 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,000 Like they, it's just like ingrained in there. 446 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,240 Like it's a Pavlov dog thing, if you were saying. 447 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,840 Just sit, have a seat. 448 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,840 I'm Chris Hansen. 449 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,840 Sit down. 450 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,000 I missed that show. 451 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,320 It's fun watching pedophile squirm. 452 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,320 It is. 453 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,320 It's very fun. 454 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,320 Fuck them, I say. 455 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,320 Well, they're going to get it. 456 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,320 Don't worry. 457 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,320 No, they deserve to get killed. 458 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,320 I'd agree with that. 459 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:29,440 And did you see that's what, again, hate him or love him, but that's what, if he became 460 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,440 president again, that's what he's wanting to do. 461 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:39,000 He's wanting to send them automatically to death, which I have no problem with as long 462 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 as they're truly guilty. 463 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,480 That's the problem. 464 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,280 You got to make sure they're actually guilty. 465 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,280 Exactly. 466 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,800 Don't you kill him as a man. 467 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,880 But if they are and there's like legitimate everything. 468 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:55,920 You know, the worst part is when they get caught, there's just like hundreds of thousands 469 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:56,920 of images and videos. 470 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,640 I'm like, where the fuck did you get hundreds of thousands? 471 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:05,920 I can't even find a video of a chick that I liked in a porn video from like a decade 472 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,600 ago, but they have hundreds of thousands. 473 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,600 Fucking pedophiles. 474 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:19,520 I saw this one, this video with the Lexi Bell, the porn star I saw when I was, you know, 475 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:23,240 like 10, like three years ago and now I can't find it to save my life, but they can somehow 476 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,280 find child pornography everywhere. 477 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,280 Even though it's not on anything. 478 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,760 Yeah, I can't find a video that I want to see that's legal and appropriate, but they 479 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:31,760 can find everything. 480 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,080 God dang pedophile, you resourceful fucking perverts. 481 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,080 Pretty much. 482 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,760 I'll be all burned in hell. 483 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,680 See that's why there's a difference between you, which is just a avowed. 484 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,300 A normal person, yeah. 485 00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,300 Just a pervert in general. 486 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:46,760 I'm just a wholesome pervert. 487 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:47,760 But not a minor. 488 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,760 I'm not a pedophile. 489 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,640 And then they want to be called maps now. 490 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:56,680 I'm not a pedophile, I'm not a rapist, I'm not a, I don't want to bang an animal. 491 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:57,680 I'm actually very boring. 492 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,760 If you looked at my porn search history, it is boring as fuck. 493 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,760 I'm dead serious. 494 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:02,760 You don't want to be a map? 495 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,000 I don't know what that is, but it sounds terrible. 496 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,280 What am I, a GPS? 497 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,760 Wait, is it people that like to pretend they're GPS's? 498 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,760 Turn left. 499 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,760 That's even worse than that. 500 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,640 That was bad. 501 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,440 It's what pedophiles want to be called now. 502 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,440 A map. 503 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,640 A minor, attractive person. 504 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,640 Gross. 505 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:29,600 So now what about a short statue person? 506 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,560 Like if you're into a person that's short statue, but it's an adult. 507 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,280 That's just being into little people. 508 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,280 Midgets. 509 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,280 Right, but is that? 510 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,280 That's not the same thing. 511 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,280 Okay, I'm just saying, I'm just asking. 512 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,280 Like it's... 513 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,280 You know, proportionally, you know what I mean? 514 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:46,280 You could say that about a petite woman though too. 515 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,080 Well, I guess that's true. 516 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,520 It's more of the youth part of it. 517 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,560 Again, it's really just... 518 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,560 Fucking gross. 519 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,560 Disgusting. 520 00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,560 Next topic. 521 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:04,000 This person. 522 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,080 By sexy namja. 523 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:12,080 This person puts, I, a 24 year old male, was cleaning out some of my stuff in my room whenever 524 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,680 I found some toys laying around. 525 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:19,640 I planned to meet up with my girlfriend later, so I wanted to surprise her and took some 526 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,640 out on the table. 527 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,640 You know what I was thinking? 528 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:22,640 Like actual toys. 529 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,640 Like action figures. 530 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,640 Which is just bad, man. 531 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:25,640 I was going to break them out, we were going to play fucking... 532 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:34,400 Nice little fantasy game. 533 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:41,200 We'll play some D&D. 534 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,200 This is the fuck up. 535 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,480 I closed my room door and went out to pick up my girlfriend. 536 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,840 We went to the movies and in the middle of it, I get a call from my dad. 537 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,800 I get the fucking desk. 538 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:55,720 I get a call from my dad questioning my life choices and telling me all the stuff that's 539 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,720 in my room. 540 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:02,040 I flipped out knowing he snooped around and it just came back to this back and forth argument. 541 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,040 How old is he? 542 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,040 24. 543 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,640 That old man needs to mind his own fucking business. 544 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,740 He kept shaming me on how other people wouldn't do this kind of stuff and he just knows nothing 545 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:14,560 about how people my age act and that this is something everyone would keep private. 546 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,500 Yeah, they're freaks. 547 00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:19,280 After the call, I tell my girlfriend what happened and she's uncomfortable about coming 548 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,040 over now and it's completely understandable. 549 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,000 Yeah, well, there goes that relationship. 550 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000 Okay. 551 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,840 I can't... it wasn't on here, but as far as I know, he also put that he's Asian. 552 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,840 So... 553 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:31,840 What does that matter? 554 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,280 Well, I guess Asian parents are a little bit stricter. 555 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,280 Exactly. 556 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,280 Yeah. 557 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,240 And then going through his room, it's like, okay, you already live at home at 24. 558 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,240 You have Asian parents. 559 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,240 Yeah, that's impossible. 560 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:47,080 You know they're going to go through your stuff and snoop and then you decided to leave 561 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,080 the next one out. 562 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,080 There you go. 563 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,520 Like, you lived with them your whole life. 564 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,520 You know how they are. 565 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,520 You know how they are. 566 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,520 Come on now. 567 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,520 Don't play dumb, dude. 568 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,040 Like, you can't blame your dad just for everything on this. 569 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,040 I guess not. 570 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,400 But at the same time, a parent should accept their kids. 571 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,400 Should. 572 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,400 Should. 573 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,400 And what is it? 574 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,400 Respect their privacy. 575 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,400 Should. 576 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:08,400 But again... 577 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,560 Unless that privacy is something wrong and illegal. 578 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:11,560 Exactly. 579 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:17,000 If I found out my kid was selling cocaine, I'd be like, where's my cut for one? 580 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000 Two. 581 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,320 I'll let you do it in this house. 582 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,320 But again, he's 24. 583 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,600 He lives at home. 584 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,400 He's lived with these motherfuckers his whole life. 585 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,400 His whole life, yeah. 586 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,400 So he knows what they're going to do. 587 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,400 So he should have just hid them. 588 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,400 Exactly. 589 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,400 Should have hid them up his asshole. 590 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:32,960 Well, he might have had those kind of toys. 591 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,400 He's had to keep them safe up there in your booty hole. 592 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,120 In his prison wallet. 593 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,240 His fucking prison pocket. 594 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,440 Like off of that, what was it, Deadpool? 595 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:46,200 God, the most terrifying ones are those kids that grow up that they know how to make like 596 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,360 fucking makeshift fake walls and stuff. 597 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,360 So they can hide stuff. 598 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:51,360 Man. 599 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,960 That'd be a fucking prison they live in. 600 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:58,320 Like especially those kids that are like, their parents are like really like hardcore 601 00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,320 cops. 602 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,960 And like they always go through their stuff like always. 603 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,000 They're never going to visit you right when they're older. 604 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,280 They keep doing this and respecting their privacy. 605 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:12,360 Because I was watching a video of a cop who was like, was teaching, doing a YouTube video 606 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:16,360 of teaching his kid, teaching parents how to search a kid's room. 607 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:20,080 So I first, you go over there, you tell this to the kid, all right, you got to go out. 608 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,680 And he just goes through this person's entire fucking room and all these like, there's like 609 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,320 these fucking aerosol canisters. 610 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,320 Oh, there's a false bottom here. 611 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,080 And he takes the bottom off of his little bag of weed. 612 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,800 We'll talk about that later with him. 613 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,360 And I'm like, oh my God, he's teaching them how to find all these secret like, like what 614 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,360 kind of fucking kid did you raise? 615 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:44,360 This kid's got like, like hardcore criminal level like hiding skills. 616 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,160 And he's still getting caught. 617 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,160 Apparently, yeah. 618 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,600 But think of how much stuff that is that is not finding. 619 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,880 Yeah, because he's getting better at hiding it. 620 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:53,880 Exactly. 621 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,680 Or were those just false leads and the red herring for him to find that and not find 622 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:58,680 the other stuff? 623 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,680 I guess the other stuff must be hardcore. 624 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,480 So it's our service center floorboard. 625 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,280 He's going through fucking his books, every drawer under his bed. 626 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:14,680 I'm like, man, that is quite the fucking Soviet Union ask security you got there at your household. 627 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,680 Imagine if your mom did that. 628 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:16,680 There's nothing in my room. 629 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:17,680 So I don't care. 630 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:25,680 All I got is a huggy wuggy flush pillow. 631 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,680 You know, huggy wuggy. 632 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:32,200 I have one of those little toys or it's a it's a stuffed stuffed huggy wuggy that you 633 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,400 can wrap around your neck because his hands are the stick them. 634 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,400 Yeah. 635 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,400 So I took a picture and put it on Facebook. 636 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,160 Look at my me and my new best friend, huggy wuggy. 637 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,440 I thought it'd be him, Taro. 638 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,560 Because we work together. 639 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,360 It's much better. 640 00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:51,080 But anything else to add before we head out? 641 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,080 Give your kids some privacy. 642 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,480 As long as they're doing good in school and they're not. 643 00:27:55,480 --> 00:28:01,000 And if you know, I'll put this, if you know your parents or that style of a parent, you're 644 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000 24. 645 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:08,400 If you can't find a new house after that, knows he learned how to hide shit. 646 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,880 Learn how to really hide some shit. 647 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,880 My God. 648 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:11,880 He left it out. 649 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,880 He says he left the shit out. 650 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,560 In my head, I imagine he just like had a big fat dildo, right? 651 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,760 With a suction, he just fucking slammed that shit on the table. 652 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,280 And it's just fucking shaking when the dad got there. 653 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,080 He's like, oh, God, dad, what is that? 654 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,880 That's why he said, but that's why I was. 655 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:32,120 What was it that he's questioning my life choices? 656 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,160 So yeah, yeah, I don't know. 657 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,160 But again, privacy. 658 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,160 Yeah. 659 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:42,220 That whole stereotype of Asian strict parents is hard for them to overcome because there's 660 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,080 so many that are. 661 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,080 It's unfortunate. 662 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:50,760 But you know, it's going to be like a generational break where like the Asians that grew up here, 663 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,640 the Asian Americans, I would hope so. 664 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,080 That'd be some social evolution to get to a better place as a society. 665 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,200 No, they probably become more strict. 666 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,840 The ones that were the the the free spirits becoming restricted when they grow up. 667 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,840 Exactly. 668 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:06,840 That would be fucking terrifying. 669 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:11,560 It's like they'll just lock the kid in the cage just there. 670 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,560 Oh, God. 671 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:13,760 In the dog crate. 672 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:19,640 I saw a video like that when these kids somehow escaped and the parent, the cops got there, 673 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,640 right? 674 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,480 This shit was the whole place was a fucking shit show. 675 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,680 They had they had a baby in the crib. 676 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:26,680 He was just covered in shit. 677 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,620 There was shit on the floor. 678 00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:29,880 The dogs were covered in shambles. 679 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880 The walls were covered in shit. 680 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,680 Like, where the fuck is your bathroom? 681 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,680 Where's your toilet at? 682 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,080 Probably probably that shit was probably spotless because everything else had shit on it. 683 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,280 The toilet must have been clean as fuck. 684 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,560 The bathroom is the one place they don't have any shit. 685 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:49,920 That's always been a terrifying thought for me as I drive around, especially at night. 686 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:54,160 You don't know the evil happening in every house. 687 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,320 It could be like next door. 688 00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:00,760 There could be some horrific stuff your neighbor is doing that you have no idea about. 689 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,080 It's like a fucking like a flesh lamp or something of a fucking human being. 690 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,680 He just carved into a fucking lamp. 691 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,480 He's a fucking diehard serial killer. 692 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:11,480 You never know. 693 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,480 So when I drive around at night, right? 694 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,380 And all these really quiet. 695 00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:15,380 There's no cars but me. 696 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:18,600 I'm like, man, how much atrocities are being committed right now? 697 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:24,200 You know, in the 20 mile radius around me and see now, now when you do that, you're 698 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,560 going to be wondering how many of those people are drinking out of their own condom? 699 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:28,560 Maybe. 700 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,200 Also, I probably wouldn't care about that part. 701 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,200 He can drink as much condom come as he wants. 702 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,800 As I said, I don't I don't I don't kink shame as they say. 703 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,000 Yeah, but he's not doing it for kink. 704 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,200 Well, whatever he whatever the shit he's doing, he can do whatever he wants. 705 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,000 It's fucking his semen. 706 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,800 I don't give a damn. 707 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:50,800 He's conserved kilojoule. 708 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,800 That kilojoule. 709 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:52,800 He looked up the word kilojoule. 710 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,240 He found out that semen had it. 711 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,760 He's like, yeah, that's that's what I that's what I'm doing it for. 712 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,640 I think it's just a fetish. 713 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,160 But he doesn't want to consider it a fetish. 714 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,760 So I got to reserve my energy and get more kilojoules back into my body. 715 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,760 I didn't even tell her he didn't chew it. 716 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:07,760 So I got to brush his teeth. 717 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:08,760 He just swallowed that shit. 718 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,560 Man, he just takes that shit like a fucking jock. 719 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,240 I'm fucking alive. 720 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,360 I can't imagine semen. 721 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,360 I don't know. 722 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,360 Like it has to be a kink. 723 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:22,960 That's what I would think, too. 724 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,920 But he just does not want to acknowledge it as such. 725 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:26,920 Yeah. 726 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:31,320 Just admit you're mostly with somebody you're with. 727 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,960 If you're into that kind of shit, don't try to hide. 728 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:35,960 Yeah. 729 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:40,480 Like also, don't do it on the first the first date, the first bang. 730 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,960 Don't just fucking shock them all from the beginning. 731 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,120 You got to ease them into it. 732 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,120 First time. 733 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,080 Don't give them a fucking heart attack off the get go. 734 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,080 First like, oh God. 735 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,800 Yeah, that shit would be weird. 736 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,600 But that is everything I got on Reddit today. 737 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,400 So we'll see you on the next one. 738 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:15,040 I think every day we get further and further from God.