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This is what we are covering tonight.
We're going to go over Blackbeard's Devil Fruit theory, his third Devil Fruit, whatever
what I assume it's going to be.
And we'll cover that.
Cool.
That was terrible.
But before we do, like, share, and subscribe to the channel.
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But let's go ahead and get into it.
Okay.
I'm trying to get my fucking pants.
I'm sitting on my fucking shirt.
Okay, so basically, all One Piece fans know that Blackbeard is the only person in all
of One Piece that has two Devil Fruits in his body.
The legend goes that you can only have one.
If you eat two, you immediately die.
You'll blow up.
Your asshole will fucking get sucked up your mouth.
I don't know what they say.
Something happens to you and you cannot have two Devil Fruits.
You said the last time one of them is what, the dark, dark?
Yeah, I got it right here.
So his first one was the logotype, the yummy, yummy, nomi, the dark, dark fruit, considered
the most evil.
And it's also a logotype, so darkness is a natural thing.
And you said that it negates?
Negates other Devil Fruits.
But he gets his ass kicked in the process?
He physically gets hurt even regardless, yeah.
It's the only logotype that cannot, all logotypes can turn into their element.
So be it sand, fire, ice, light, and they can avoid all physical attacks.
Not hockey, that like super powered attack, but they're pretty much invulnerable.
Except for Blackbeard.
If you punch him in the face, you can punch him in the face.
Either he does not want to turn into pure darkness or he can't.
I don't know what it is, but he's the only logotype that can get hurt by anything.
I guess he has to, maybe he's a black hole, who knows.
Maybe he keeps getting stronger the more he absorbs.
And then before you know it, at the end of the last fucking episodes, it's just him and
Luffy fighting over a broken world.
His second fruit is a paramecia type, which is basically, it's the easiest definition.
It's something that's not Logia or Zoan.
It's the Gora Gora Nomi, the Tremor Tremor fruit.
So he can create pretty much earthquakes.
Seismic activity.
Blackbeard, or not Blackbeard, Whitebeard, during the Paramount War did a fucking crazy,
he shifted the tectonic plates.
So they were like, it looked like the entire ocean was like a fucking crooked staircase.
Like an actual, no, like a crooked staircase.
Like a step.
Yeah, it looked, it was so fucking freaky.
So now he has the ability to completely devastate entire structures, so islands, right?
And he has pure darkness.
Interesting choices.
Paramecia and a Logia.
So it goes without saying that if you do a logical leap, his third one is going to end
up being a Zoan.
So it makes me think that maybe you can have three devil fruits, as long as they're not
the same type.
Right.
So the Logia, the Paramecia, and the Zoan.
You said Paramecia are the most common, right?
Yeah, they're the most average.
So that's probably where the myth has started at some point, since they're more common than
the others, and you eat two of those.
Oh yeah, maybe.
But no one's attempted it.
No one's even had a story like that.
Yeah, I knew this guy who tried that.
You know, it's like one of those rumors, like not going underneath a ladder.
Oh really?
It's what we believe.
Just like a superstition?
Yeah, but we don't know.
Yeah.
Don't you go under a ladder.
Yeah, so I'm not the first one to come up with this theory.
But I didn't get it from this guy.
It was an independent thought.
But I like to make sure that I don't look like I'm stealing someone's theory, right?
So this guy named Sebastian Baksh, B-A-K-S-H.
So B-A-K-S-H.
I think it was on one of those like Screen Rant or one of those websites.
He had the theory like back in like 2021 or something.
So we had the same thinking.
So I mean, it's weird.
Another weird thing about the three type of Zoans, or the three type of Devil Fruits,
is that Luffy's recently, his Devil Fruit acts like multiple ones.
That's his single one.
Like paramecia can warp the area around them to be like their Devil Fruit.
So if you have like candle fruit powers, which the guy does, he can make the entire environment
wax.
Another guy can make it look like fucking Laffy Taffy.
Mochi.
I don't know if you know that giant Japanese food.
Mochi.
Mochi, yeah.
He could do that.
Luffy can bounce like a fucking trampoline on a fucking rock.
The entire rock is like a trampoline.
The environment's rubbery.
But he can transform into different forms like a Zoan.
It's weird.
And he's actually immune to physical attacks, aside from knives.
Because he's rubbery.
Like even in the beginning, blunt force trauma, punches, kicks, bullets don't hurt him.
So it makes me think that he has, his one Devil Fruit is all three.
And it goes back now to with Blackbeard.
He needs three to match Luffy's technical three.
Is what I'm thinking.
That would make sense.
I know, I'm a genius.
That detective brain of mine goes to work.
Because Luffy's is real weird.
It's just like the weirdest Devil Fruit.
Like it's even a standout from every other.
Even from paramecia, it's just a standout.
It's like pretty much in your face.
So yeah, it acts like a Logia with the damage you can take.
It acts like a Zoan with him being able to transform into like, he's got the gear two,
gear three, gear four, gear four snake mode.
Snake's not snake man.
And now gear five, the fucking, you know, the peak joy boy that you've probably seen
memes lately, the cartoony.
Yeah, I like it.
The whole Bugs Bunny abilities he's got.
And he can infect the environment like a paramecia.
The only thing left to see is the Logia.
But we have already seen his Logia.
It's him not being affected by regular stuff.
Only hockey can hurt him.
Or blades.
Which is kind of the same like crocodile.
He's sand but water, regular water.
Even like sea water hurts everybody.
But anything liquid can actually hurt him.
Even if he's intangible.
Which Luffy beat him.
He was bleeding all over his hands so he just kept sucking them in the face.
So that's basically my theory is that it has to be a Zoan.
Even if it's not because it's required because of the Logia and paramecia.
Like story wise, if Luffy's is considered all three Devil Fruit types, that would just
be cool for him to have all three Devil Fruit types too.
Where he'd have to get all three just to match it.
Just to like, even like the story wise, yeah, for Oda to be like, yeah, like a little Easter
egg for people like, oh look at that, they both have the same, yeah.
I'm the greatest writer of all time.
I'm William Shakespeare, Japanese.
Only doing it in reverse to where, like, do you think that Blackbeard already has the
third Devil Fruit?
He tried to get Trafalgar Law's Devil Fruit.
His is like, his is weird.
It's like a medical Devil Fruit.
It's as you can see, the most powerful paramecia of all time.
It's called, I forgot what it's called, but he can do this thing where he's called, he
makes a room around himself, right?
So he says room, and he can rearrange anything in that room.
Like, he can like, cut people up without them getting killed, and then rearrange their bodies,
and then leave them like that forever, and they're completely fine.
And he can like, teleport within the room, different people.
It's considered the ultimate because he can give his life with that Devil Fruit to another
person, and that person can become immortal, but he dies in the process.
Very, you know, to have it and want to be immortal.
It's very rare.
It's like, it's worth billions of berries.
So for some reason, he wanted it.
Blackbeard wanted it, so he destroyed all of the fucking Trafalgar Law's pirates.
Almost had it, but Beppo, Trafalgar's second in command, fucking somehow escaped, he escaped
with both of them.
And it's weird, because what Blackbeard said was either, huh, should I eat this, or should
I sell it?
I don't know.
I actually want to eat it.
He was just saying that comment, I guess.
Maybe because he knows he can, if it's already a paramecia type.
It's just weird to me that he wanted it.
I guess he wants to be immortal, probably.
But who would he get to die for him?
For him to be immortal.
Well, the only reason I was asking is because if Blackbeard does not have all three yet,
and he still needs one more to have the three to match Luffy, it's kind of the backwards
writing for Oda, because normally the main villain has everything before the main character.
Yeah, that's a good point.
And if the main character of Luffy already has something that would be considered three.
At least I consider it three.
Right, I'm agreeing with you on that.
So I think that if...
If it was a one piece fandom, then I'd tear me to shreds.
But I agree though, if it's displaying three styles of power.
Yeah, three different...
Within one.
Yeah, it's so weird to me.
And now that he's got two and he only needs one more.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Plus we also don't even know how the fuck he can eat them.
How the fuck has he been able to get away with eating two?
It's still baffling to me.
I do a lot of mystery solving right now.
I wonder if it has something to do with his dark dark fruit though.
It could be.
That he can keep...
That he can keep it stored deep within it, but not on him, not actually in him.
Right.
That'd be weird.
I think it might be something to do with that specific...
Maybe he just like shouts them out of their assholes.
He's just like...
Because I saw once during Punk Hazard, this creature had a devil fruit and it had died.
And this random apple in the vicinity of that creature turned into that same devil fruit
right as after it died.
So they can actually...
The devil fruit can actually reappear right next to the person that died with it, but
not always.
Sometimes it doesn't even appear wherever.
Because Ace also died at Paramount with white beard and his devil fruit just fucking...
No one even knows where it came from.
It just showed up when they undressed Rosa.
So I'm real confused.
I got more studying to do.
But yeah, that's what it looks like to me that it's going to end up with black beard
and Luffy.
It has to.
I don't know why this person named M, who's the actual emperor of the world that no one
knows exists, what their fucking business is.
But that person hates black beard and Luffy and Shirahoshi, this mermaid, who has the ability
to call sea monsters.
And the sea kings, the biggest creatures in all of One Piece?
Well, the elephant actually is.
And she hates...
I assume M is a woman.
I don't know why.
It's either M or Imu.
I keep forgetting.
I am or Imu.
And one time, the person M had torn up the bounties for Luffy, black beard, and a picture
of Shirahoshi.
And she has another picture of someone named Vivi, who's in Alabasta.
It's a lot of information to cover.
But I think if it wasn't for the detective stuff, like the mysteries, I probably wouldn't
be into One Piece as much as I like all the cool combat and abilities and all that and
the devil fruits.
It's the mysteries I'm here for.
Trying to figure out what Oda's really thinking.
Yeah, I feel like I can match him.
Like, if I deep down read every one of his stories and just had a fucking blackboard
up, I can figure it out.
I might try to.
I'm going to keep you guys updated weekly on what I'm going to take.
I have Shonen Jump $3 a month.
I've got all 10,000, 80-something chapters.
I just read one every day.
And then when I go crazy, that's it.
When you go crazy, just that one moment, that little switch turns a little too far, and
you have that madness for a few days, and then it clicks back to normal.
All the information's before you.
So what'd you think of the Gear 5?
Anyway.
You know what it is?
I didn't care.
That doesn't bother me.
Everyone's like, because they want to be cool, right?
They're like, man, this is the goofiest shit I've ever seen.
It's always been Luffy.
He's always been cartoony.
He's always been weird.
I mean, he's got the fucking most cartoony-ish rubber abilities.
It was the fact that they would not keep a steady camera on what Luffy was doing that
fucking drove me crazy.
It was like the camera and Luffy were two separate things moving opposed to each other.
And the camera was trying to follow Luffy and having a tough time following Luffy.
Also the problem was episode 1071, when Gear 5 first showed up, the camera was so fucking
shaky I was losing my fucking mind.
The thing about cartoon shows, right?
The camera always has to be steady no matter how wild the cartoon is.
So if it had just stayed on Luffy the entire time without shaking around...
Or stationary and the character moves.
Yeah, stationary.
That's what I mean.
Steady.
If you put it on him and he can do all the cartoony shit he wants to do.
I could not follow half of what he was doing because the camera was moving around so much
too.
Look, a goddamn Jason Bourne movie with a shaky cam.
Jesus, I was about to vomit.
He got a little better on episode 1072.
But man, you cannot do that wild of a movement of a cartoon character.
Look at all the cartoons from Tom and Jerry.
The camera is always stationary.
Well, I was going to say it's either stationary with the person or stationary and just staying
not moving at all.
Exactly.
But whenever you have them moving opposed to each other...
Like it was moving more than Luffy was.
That's what I'm saying.
Luffy was trying to catch up to the goddamn cameraman.
So that was the only gripe I had.
I could not follow what was going on.
But power wise, it's fine.
Luffy, fucking hilarious.
When he fucking lifted up that... did the moonwalk in midair and then he fucking lifted up that
whole thing, the whole rock formation to catch the fireball and threw it back in Keitel's
face.
Shit was fucking hilarious.
So I'm going to figure it out.
You better finish it before I figure it out.
Before you finish it for him?
Yeah, I'm going to figure it out.
You'll finish the story.
It's like you're waiting for it to just finish, but you've already got it.
I just dropped one tweet.
And then no one will watch it, right?
Because I'm not famous.
Until after One Piece is over.
And then they see the date.
And then they'll just be like, so what did I say?
Will be like an update tweet.
And X. It's X now.
What?
Oh yeah, that shit looks like a fucking porn site on my fucking phone, you assholes.
I was like, where the fuck is Twitter?
And what the fuck is this?
Is it updated?
Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
So dumb as shit.
It gives you automatic dark mode?
Yeah, it did.
It's so fucking stupid.
X. How are you going to change a fucking...
So what are the tweets going to be called?
X's.
Wow.
Elon Musk, you are one dumb son of a bitch.
Bro, as rich as you are, you're dumb as bricks.
You name it X, Y.
I want a legit reason why.
You would take an established brand and rebrand it into the dumbest pornographic shit.
Sound and name.
I've ever...
What are you, X videos?
X hamster?
X, X, and X?
Which one are you?
Just X.
You know I've never gone to X hamster because I don't like the sound of the website.
I know it's a really popular website, but can I type in X hamster?
You might find something you don't want.
I'm sure it's all legit, just like regular porn.
Whoever created it though.
But that was a dumb idea, yeah.
Some guy gets on the...
Damn hamster's fucking on this.
What the fuck?
You know there's that one person?
Probably.
It's like, but the title says...
So I should assume Hamtaro would be fucking on here, but he's not on here.
Hamtaro, when we work together, it's much better.
Her hamster.
Her hamster from Overlord.
Hamster?
A giant hamster.
Hentai goes crazy by the way.
I'm like, this is too much for me.
Just give me some big old booty, some big old titties and I'm fine.
You don't want the tentacles?
No!
Why would I?
I don't like watching porn that I would not want to do myself.
That's why I don't watch weird shit.
You know?
I don't watch weird shit.
You don't want five tentacles?
Why would I watch something I would never do?
Oh yeah, I want a fucking octopus.
I'm the deep from the boys.
There's some people that might.
There's some people that watch stuff that they would never do, for whatever reason,
right?
But I can't.
I'm that person that needs to do the thing that I'm seeing being done.
So I'm like, I don't want...
One girl and like 57 guys.
And by the way, one guy with 57 girls, that's a lot of work.
I don't like threesomes either, because I like to concentrate on one person.
The other one person will get left out.
Like, oh you were here?
Shit, and then you get the person and it's like, well fuck.
Yeah, probably me like, oh man, not again.
Have you seen this Twitter?
No, not Twitter, this TikTok?
It is...
It is, like in real life, will always beat any cinema, anywhere.
You could write the greatest scene of all time, but what would circulate is a fucking
TikTok video of real life.
This guy is being recorded, like this couple is being recorded from like, I guess like
either the third, fourth, or second story window.
So the camera's looking down on the street.
And this guy's got it, he's on his bike, he's facing toward the camera, and the girls, we
always see the back of the girl, she's got his backpack on, a ponytail, and he's got his
helmet on, and he's like, and he's just screaming like, I'll never be good, you'll always pick
me when it's between him and me, you always pick him, and it's never me, I'm never good
enough.
So he goes on this rant, right?
And then he's like, and he fucking rides off on his bike.
I'll never be good enough, it's never gonna be...
And it is the most fucking, like a fucking cinema movie.
Like it was, it just is so fucking beautiful.
Let me see if I can find it real quick, I will have Michael react, what the fuck, no
page, let me repay that.
Okay, let me see if I can find it.
We found it, let's see if it loads.
No?
Son of a bitch.
Damn phone.
Oh wait, no, just hit play.
Let's see what we got.
And he's got, that is a fucking movie, there's no way, no one can write a scene that good,
I'll never be good enough, you'll never love me, and he just fucking storms off on his
bike.
Oh man, and like on the comics rant, it's like, write on my friend, write on, you're
always good enough.
Something about real life is just unmatched.
You couldn't make that shit up.
Because you have to believe it, because it happened.
It was not scripted, it was not staged, it fucking happened.
It's like it's not an actor, so it's coming from true, true, yeah, I love that guy.
It's like only a very, very, very good actor can replicate something like that.
And the passion involved.
Him fucking driving off on his bike, because he knew like there was nothing he could say,
that you know, he just drives off.
It's so beautiful.
I'm glad for him, because they're going through a tough time.
But he just made, he made meme lore.
He'll be, I'll never be good enough.
Write on my friend, write on.
He dumped her.
Yeah, well, I don't know what he did.
He dumped, no, he dumped him for her.
So basically, he dumped himself before she could.
Yeah.
He didn't dump her, he.
He did it before she could do it though.
He dumped himself, yes.
And then he's like, I'll never be out there.
That's good though.
It was, it's just pure cinema, it's not even cinema.
If a director saw it, like, cut, that was magnificent.
That would be an Oscar right there.
Yeah, it really.
Too bad you can't nominate him.
Why not?
Right?
He comes on his bike.
I am good enough.
I don't know what, I guess she was like, she was between him and some other guy.
Yeah.
I'd have been a bitch have him and then I would just leave.
I wouldn't be like, ah.
But he must say, he must have fucking loved her.
And it must have happened to him before because it's always happened.
I'm never the one, I'm never gonna.
Like he was, he was pouring his soul.
Leonardo DiCaprio had a tear rolling down his eye like, my God, I could never act so
beautifully.
Robert Deano is like, wow, all my career has been a lie.
Oh man.
We'll definitely have that up though.
I'll put that in the.
Little thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll leave it in the description.
I'll send it to you.
Oh man, that was beautiful.
I watched that video like 30 times and he's just like, he's just right on my friend, right
on.
He probably called her like too much after he got home.
I don't know.
And then she blocked it.
With that passion?
I don't know.
He's just done.
It's because he knew he no longer had anything he could possibly say.
So he just burst out of him as in a scream and he drove off.
Beautiful.
That's it.
Those are the things you need to watch to become a better actor.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll never be good enough because it's always happened.
I'm always the one.
He just, he just could not say there was nothing else he could possibly say.
You couldn't put it into words.
Yeah.
He just screamed into the night and drove off.
That is a director could not give that kind of direction.
No, no.
Because no one could like you'd have to go through that in real life to funnel that into
an actual acting scene.
Yeah.
Well, it kind of goes like with songs and stuff like that.
There's certain songs that you get the actual emotion from and then there's other ones that
you can tell somebody just wrote the song for.
Oh yeah.
Like the ones that actually have like heartache and like that actually have been through.
Like, oh, like I can tell.
What's a good song that does that?
I know.
I'm Brian like a diamond.
No, that was written.
She still fucking stole that shit.
You don't know.
You know who sold that?
Plankton on TikTok.
He was trying to pay some bills on that one because when they did the AI song of him doing
Diamond, yeah, oh man, it is glorious.
He does a scream too.
The one that I would say is there's a live version from one.
Okay, rock.
A lot of whenever they were in, I think somewhere.
Where were they?
Somewhere in Japan.
But it's a song called Take What You Want.
And you can it's like he's like you can feel.
Oh, okay.
The brain of a person that does a lot of like mystery stuff for the, I don't know, the connections
make no sense to anyone else but them.
You said Japan, right?
I was thinking about the dramatic reality and real life emotions of that guy.
Like if it was put into an actual acting scene, led me to Bam Margera because he also reminds
me of Japan.
Reminded me of that scene of that video that he posted on Instagram where he got fired
from Jackass forever because of the whole drug stuff he was doing.
And he was like he was on Instagram telling people like Jackass is it was all I have.
It was like I know.
Like he was so devastated that he couldn't be on Jackass forever.
Like he was like it's not the only one to do with it.
It's like a drive-thru.
The emotion from that equates that guy.
Yeah.
Because Bam Margera was like there's no more word.
I was so mad but I'm like God he's going through it right now.
Because he was like trying to hold it.
He had his hand over his mouth.
I'm like bravo sir.
That's good acting right there.
Yeah.
Please don't sit with Bam Margera.
We're poor and I'm sure he used to have a million dollars.
He's actually close to getting broke too.
Well you got as much as we do.
He went from 45 million right to their estimation of like a little over a million dollars which
is a lot.
Yeah.
But it's not 45 million dollars.
Well don't worry I have a dollar in the bank account so we're good.
You didn't have that.
I'm about to be on the corner.
Watch me do a parody of him like something that I lost right that's all I had.
I'm getting better at dry heaving without actually feeling like throwing up.
That's hard to do too.
I'm becoming a phenomenal actor.
Until you see somebody actually throw up.
No.
You know what happened?
You know like I used to have a weak stomach right?
I cleaned vomit the other day.
The can?
Yeah.
No.
Oh that first thing.
The carrots.
Yeah but that's.
It broke.
It broke whatever weakness I had.
I'm like fuck it.
I can watch Preston Lacey fart into a fucking funnel and fucking steam up.
Yes but can you see them drink the fat guy's sweat?
Yeah.
And just watch the full scene.
Yeah.
I'm done.
It fixed whatever problem I had.
Really?
Cleaning up someone else's vomit fixed everything.
Oh.
Yeah I know.
It's like man this is the shit I'm going through.
Watch it's not that bad.
Oh man.
I still don't like needles though so if someone stab me with some needles I can get over that.
Just get jammed.
Jackass was all I had and he just starts fucking dry heaving.
It is the most brutal shit I've ever seen.
He's at his wits end.
Oh.
And then he went crazy.
Yeah.
I hate that the Jackass guys any of them are doing bad.
Because when Steve.
You know what's funny?
When Steve when he was going through a bad he was on the Adam Carolla show and it was
live.
I don't know if it was live but it was the premiere of that episode.
Right.
And he was doing like one of those like kind of like a late night talk show.
Yeah.
But like his own version of it because his friend Jimmy Kimmel had his Jimmy Kimmel live
and like I watched like I was watching it like I love this is a good show I like Jimmy Kimmel.
Looking back at the man show now right?
I'm like what the fuck did I see in this garbage?
I'm feeling how juvenile the man show was.
I'm like this is that dumb shit.
Either I've matured or it was that childish.
See that like how we were talking about how people need to before the episode about how
people need to live what they actually preach.
Oh yeah.
My stomach hurts.
No I'm kidding.
So Steve was on the this was back like oh five something like when he was doing his he was
like fucking taking like doing drugs like he was doing drugs at a bodyguard who was
used to seeing people do drugs did not know was possible.
So how do you do that?
And he was on he was on the Adam Carolla show he was gonna do some stunts and he gets on
there right and he is just fucking playing and he breaks the fucking little table in
front of them like this little like coffee table made of glass.
Yeah.
He just kicks the shit out of it and then he fucking tackles Adam Carolla into his couch
so they start having a fucking wrestling match and they never cut any of this out.
He's like calm down Steve-O.
Steve-O calm down.
Calm down Steve-O.
Calm down.
It is looking back at it now right that he was going through some drug times.
I was like I never in my head I didn't like it didn't seem that big.
Oh it's just Steve-O.
But then look after the documentary with like him getting recovery and all that I'm like
God dang Steve-O what the fuck happened to you?
It's weird when you see something when it first comes out live or whatever and then
later it has substantial significance.
Like when I saw him do all that weird shit with Adam Carolla I just thought Steve-O was
put on a bit.
Yeah.
He was just acting weird like he broke like he fucking cut himself up he was beating the
hell out of Adam Carolla and now years in the future I'm like damn I actually saw that
while it was happening you know.
See the new thing for that is gonna be the Will Smith Chris Roxlap.
I missed that live man.
It had more impact after the fact.
Yeah like people are like I saw that shit live.
I would have loved to see it.
Man imagine you get slapped by Will Smith.
I would have been like it was a G.I.J. joke.
And she is bald so.
Yeah I mean alopecia I wish I had alopecia I'm so hairy as fuck.
It's one of those things that's like really you went by I know it's like in your eyebrows
and that kind of sucks and your arms and all that but I mean like it's not like it's a
fucking chronic disease.
Right.
You're not gonna die from it.
Like I can't have any hair on top of my head I'm bald as fuck I got like partial alopecia.
You can start crying and go up there and smack the shit out of Will Smith or out of Chris
Roxlap.
But yeah like I went bald and it sucks not really because I was you know when I first
shaved my head completely bald right no one had no one better than eyelash.
I was like you motherfuckers.
I thought it was like a substantial life altering thing right.
Like hey what's up bro.
Nothing changed.
No no one cares about me.
No one ever cares about me.
No one just write off right off.
Right off.
He's like the right.
I can't put in the words the grandeur.
That's a William Shakespeare as seen is what I'm saying.
Like it is.
But you want to hear the hardest William Shakespeare quote.
I don't know if it's actually his because I haven't read any of his books yet but I'm
planning to.
I found this on a tick tock and it's it's it's credited to William Shakespeare but I
don't know if it's actually his but I'll read it.
I'll read it to you guys real quick.
Where is it.
No no.
Oh they sell this thing called the Loch Ness ladle.
I want it.
It's a ladle shaped like the Loch Ness monster.
Yeah I need it.
I need it in my life.
Remember I was telling you how action needs to follow a logical sequence so when you kick
someone you expect them to fall a certain way they're supposed to fall instead of the
other way.
OK now watch this.
You see how Bane has that right and they're going that way and then on the next panel
Batman's going the opposite way.
That's the dumbest shit.
I'll send you the picture you can show people but this is when you when you do a scene make
sure it follows the lead.
Batman would not be falling left if he got hit right on the scene.
I nitpick a lot.
Well they say don't do that in movies too.
Like you keep the train of momentum.
That's the worst.
The movies do it a lot.
And that's what it drives me insane.
Like logically if I punch you with my right hand that means you fall forward on your right
side as well.
If I punch you and then the next scene cuts to the guy falling left that shit makes no
fucking sense.
Here's the quote.
You guys ready.
Is it.
Get ready.
This is the deepest shit you'll ever hear.
Whether it really is a 16 and I'm deep.
Yes.
I'm 16 years old and I'm the deepest man has ever lived.
I'm scared to say it because once it goes down to the ether it's going to break people's
brains.
Here we go.
You say you love the rain but you open an umbrella.
You say you love the sun but you find a shady spot.
You say you love the wind but close the window when the wind blows.
That's why I'm afraid when you say you love me.
Is that not the deepest shit you've ever heard.
But it is all true.
It is all true.
You say you love the rain but you don't go stand out in it.
Right.
William Shakespeare he knew even back then the reality of human nature.
You say you love something whatever it is.
You do the opposite.
And what the thing that you love right.
Right.
I love to walk but you never stand up.
Exactly.
She got me hard.
Sad thing is I wouldn't doubt it.
Demodulation here we come.
We had fun.
This is completely this is a one piece and stuff.
I love adding stuff to one piece.
I just love rambling.
Yeah.
We should probably ramble more often.
If you let me ramble bro I can solve world hunger.
According to the World Health Organization it should only take what was it 20 billion.
I'm on it.
Let me get a few 20 billion subscribers.
The funniest part though is that whatever the dollar amount was I can't remember the
exact thing.
But they said Elon if you gave you have all this money if you could just pay that you
would end world hunger.
He's like okay show me a list of how you did and I'll give it to you tomorrow.
No problem.
We need three thousand slices of hamburger meat.
I love Elon Musk or not.
It's funny because it's like he's like okay bro do it.
Show me what you would do.
At least he wanted a bill of sale.
Show me the actual bill.
And then it's like well that's just an estimate.
You got to deal with the mechanics.
Show me what you did.
I'll pay you what you did.
Exactly.
They never want to give you a bill.
They never know.
I want an itemized bill.
Same with a medical visit.
Exactly.
Get that shit itemized.
Yep.
And I promise you that price will lower down.
A hundred dollars for a band-aid.
What the fuck is it?
I didn't eat a condom.
I didn't get fucked.
Just you're trying to now.
Yeah.
The condom was for after the visit.
Oh I see now.
Okay.
My booty hole was supposed to hurt afterwards.
I think I'm going to start rambling more often.
Let's just talk.
It is a podcast.
We're going to talk about the world everybody.
I'm a profound man with a very small brain.
I know a lot of things about everything.
I've studied nothing.
That's actually everybody.
Pretty much.
All right.
So that's it for the, I guess I'm going to just do that.
We're just going to chill and see what we can come up with on these episodes on Monday.
Monday mashups.
Monday mashups?
Yeah.
Works for me.
Anything else that before we head out there?
And this lady came in.
Man, she got a truck up an ass and she had no bra, right?
And her nipples were just like.
It's like one of those things like you want to be like a gentleman, right?
And be like not stare at people and I don't stare, you know, unless like it just, it pops
out at me.
Yeah.
But plus like, plus I'm highly observant, right?
And it's something kind of lean subversion sometimes.
Like I like, I, you know, one time I saw a seven year old lady and she didn't have a
shirt on.
She had a pierced neck.
Specify.
Seventy.
What'd I say?
You said seven year old.
It's not like seven year old.
And it's like, oh my bad.
Seventy.
She is seven.
Oh, seven.
Well, she was older, 60s, 70s.
She was an older woman.
She had no bra and pierced nipples.
Oh, and I'm like, granny, you can get it too.
If she still has nipple, pierced nipple, right?
She is a freak.
Come on down.
I'll bang a seven year old.
No problem.
So we just went opposite ways on that one.
Oh yeah.
The thing about me is I like women of all shapes and sizes and ages legally.
So I can.
That's why you said seven D. Yeah.
I'm not going to bang a seven year old.
Exactly.
Fucking gross.
If she's 18, right?
If I can hook up with an 18 year old, it's legal.
It might be morally ambiguous.
Morally.
Whatever.
Or I can bang a 90 year old if she's still banging.
But yeah, you know who I have a crush on to this day?
Debbie from that 70s show to this day with that hair, with the everything she can get
it right now.
Hey, what's up, Deborah?
Joe Ruff.
What you up to?
How do you like the last?
How about the best 15 seconds of your life?
At least being realistic.
I'll lick you like a like a cow licks salt lick.
OK, I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Now I'm sorry.
That was a bit far.
Don't don't accounts have those little salt licks?
Do you like wild animals?
What are they for?
Do they need sodium to?
Yeah.
Like regular wild animals, they'll find rocks that have like sediment of salt on it.
That's cool.
Yeah, we were at the flea market today and you had those deer games.
Yeah, like those those hunting games.
Those old ones, right?
And my name on the like two, three and five is me.
And then four is just another me.
But that one's ass.
So like I'm really good at the game, right?
I'm practically a sniper.
So I'm only like 50 points away from number one on moose and like 100 points away from
a number one on bear.
And all you see is just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I can't help you.
You can at least fit your name on them.
Yeah, that's that is damn your kid.
Give him a three letter name and I promise you, you'll see his name or her name on a
fucking arcade game.
And so, yeah, my and then my cousin was number 12, right after he tried.
And then when I got number five, I knocked him down for 13th.
He was mad as fuck.
Just by just I'm saying, I get your numbers of the old articles.
Get good.
Yeah, just get good.
I'm number two still on moose and I'm number two on bear.
Never number one.
I'm never good enough.
It's never going to be me.
You're going to write off on your motorbike.
Little moped.
He's looking dip out.
It almost reminded me of Sheldon.
I saw a tick tock and it was it scarred me for life.
It's Sheldon, right?
But it's in a different movie where he demands a blow job from another man.
And he's like, oh, you're going to give me this blow job no matter what.
So let's just get to it.
It's like apparently this character of Sheldon is gay, not Sheldon.
I don't know the actor's name.
So I'm calling Sheldon.
And then it's the other guy's like, well, the guy that actually plays him is legal.
So the other guy's like Sheldon knows that the other guy's gay as well, but it's all
still sexual harassment.
And he's like, well, you're going to do this or not.
He's putting down a mat.
He's putting like a pillow down for him.
He's sitting on it.
He's like, I'm like, God damn it.
He's prepared.
He's done this before.
And then at the very end of the fucking clip on tick tock, it's just Sheldon from the
big band Bazinga.
So he says all this stuff from that one, right?
And then it cuts to him, Bazinga.
I'm like, oh God, you have scarred me for that character for life.
That's good though.
It's just some characters are so good at what they do that when you see them in a different
light, it's weird.
Like Tom Holland getting his back blown out.
Like Tom Holland getting his fucking back blown out.
It blew his booty hole clean out.
He did that because of Zendaya.
I don't know how guys can do that.
Like my tiny asshole just blow it out.
What the fuck?
You're going to blow that bitch out.
It's not going to go back to normal.
I'm just being honest.
All right.
I can't take all that.
I blow my asshole out.
What you did it because of Zendaya where she was with those other two dudes in that other
movie?
How does that equate?
Like, you don't want a girl.
So my wife bangs another guy, right?
So fuck, I'm a bang two guys.
How does her banging two guys equate to him banging one guy?
Shouldn't he have banged a chick?
He's like, I'll get you back double time.
How about that?
And he just like sit on a fucking bag of peas when he gets home.
Well, whatever.
I mean, that's what he wants.
Hey, man, as long as it's legal and morally OK, you can do whatever you want.
You like fucking smashing peanut butter in your butt crack and having your girlfriend
lick it up by all means.
And with that, we now know.
If you like.
No, it's fantasy.
No, thank you.
I don't like food play.
I'm actually the most boring person.
I didn't say you'd be doing it for her.
I don't want peanut butter in my butt crack.
I don't want to eat peanut butter out of a butt crack either.
The thing is, I'm very boring.
I just want a normal, you know, just regular banging.
Nothing else bells and whistles.
Literally, literally no.
I don't know.
I'm just a boy like to me, it's more like proficiency of experience, I guess.
The more you do this stuff over and over, you can even try different positions, different
techniques, different locations.
But to me, it's just like the moment with the woman is all I need.
Let me play with those titties.
Let me lick you from the back of your ass crack all the way to the back of your neck.
Let me give you a massage while my dick's between your butt cheeks.
Just I'm that boring.
Let me make a hot dog with my dick in your butt.
That's it.
No extra stuff I don't really need.
I don't need like, I need you to wear these fucking clown shoes and we need to do it on
a full moon on the top of a hill while you howl into the night.
And light a rocket on your ass and light it on fire.
Like if that's what a person likes, go ahead.
But I'm just, you know.
I think Robin Williams had a joke about that a long time ago, though.
I just enjoy doing different stuff just between me and the woman.
Which is why I just want one person instead of like two women.
It's a lot of work.
The only thing I can think about doing with two women is like we both suck on one woman's
nipples at the same time.
Seems like fun.
You don't want to be in a polyamorous relationship where you have three other guys going after
one woman?
Not really.
Just me and her.
That's all I need.
Why would I have to fight another dude?
I would just drive off with the guy.
I'm never good enough.
Fuck it.
I'm leaving.
So basically I do the same techniques, right?
But I'm so experienced at them.
I'm phenomenal.
You know, I do that Bruce Lee thing.
You know, the one kick 10,000 times?
It got windy out there.
So yeah, that's me.
I can do one kick 10,000 times, but man, that girl will be twerking.
Her leg will be twitching by the time it's over.
See, instead of one kick, one lick.
It got real windy.
I like to hit it until her knees buckle.
That's what I'm saying.
Or you have her do the doggy, but it's standing.
So she's actually completely standing, but her arms are like, you know what I mean?
Until her fucking knees buckle and her arms shake.
You ever done the doggy, the standing dog?
It is difficult for her and fun for you.
Because basically she's pretty much just completely on all fours.
Completely prone up.
And you just hit it from the back.
If you're a jerk, you can hit it a little too hard and she kind of bumps forward and
tries to keep her balance.
All right, you've learned enough about me.
We bid you adieu.
I'll see you guys on the next one.