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Hello and welcome to episode 43 of the podcast. I'm Michael. I'm Noe. And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown comic books, anime, games, and more weekly. We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show. This is what we are covering tonight. We are going over the cult, the cult classic

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almost at this point, the 2005 Constantine. But before we do, like, share and subscribe to the channel. You can also follow us on Odyssey, Rumble and more. Or you can go to Coffee Brain Coffee promo code K O E podcast for 10% off. But let's go ahead and get into it.

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Alrighty, so we are going over Constantine, mostly because there it has been green lighted basically, or at least basically green lighted for a sequel to it. And Keanu Reeves will be reprising his role as Constantine.

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So I have a beard and a fucking bob cut like he doesn't John Wick. John Constantine.

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John Constantine.

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Not the blonde one. I'm from a different dimension.

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Yeah, but see the South America. I'm American too. I'm not British.

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Vastly different John Constantine.

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Vastly different. But I still think out of the three, he's probably the better one when you go back and actually watch it. Because you have the DC legends of tomorrow, which is part of the Arrowverse crap. And that John Constantine was good and bad. But

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John Constantine. I can't even do a British.

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John Constantine, right? You got him and then you got Jonah Constantine, which is from Sandman. Where it's a woman.

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That was a Constantine?

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No, supposed to be Constantine. Yes. So, but out of the three, I don't know Keanu Reeves, he can play an asshole pretty well.

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I do gum now because I can't do any more cigarettes.

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So it's got a runtime of 121 minutes. It had a budget of between 70 and 100 million dollars and at the box office, it brought in 230 million dollars.

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Nice.

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So not too bad.

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Nice took a change for him. Yeah, it's not enough anymore. We need a billion dollars every movie now.

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Well, considering that whenever it came out, it was a like ranked a five out of 10. It was not ranked very high at all. And then it became kind of like one of those underground type things where people started watching it, they liked it. And then it became kind of like a what's the word for it? Not cold classic, but I can't think.

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I don't know. I don't have even that cold class is usually the word for it.

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Is it called classic? I think so.

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You know what I'm talking about, though, where it's kind of like one of those kind of like how Pulp Fiction became followed not by the masses of the original thing. But then when you look back on it, everybody watches it because it's one of those kind of movies to watch now.

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But it was directed by Francis Lawrence. He also directed I am legend and he directed three of the hunger hunger game films.

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I thought it was only three of the hunger. The four I think it's four parts one and two. I think basically all of them. Yeah, he directed all of us. We have Keanu Reeves as John Constantine. We have Connor Dylan Wren as a young John Constantine. We have Quinn Bonnell as a child. Constantine fucking

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I remember there's many Constantine's in the movie. Honestly, I just remember him. Keanu Reeves. We have Rachel Weisz as Angela Dodson. It's my girl. And she also played Isabel in the movie. We have a white says she's also playing my mom, which is the demon. Yeah, we have shy love playing Chaz Kramer. I'm shy of love. I lost my damn mind. I'm shy of love.

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We have Tilda Swinton as Gabriel. We have Pruitt Taylor Vince as Father Hennessy. We have a Jemana also on the count. I'm going to butcher this name. So

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sounds like the name of the actual character, not the person to play in the character.

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Jamon Hounso, which is Papa Midnight in the movie. Okay. That's a Shazam. It's the wizard. Is it? Yeah, same dude then. Gavin Rossdale as Belthazar. We have Peter Stormmare as Lucifer. Max Baker as Bee Man. We have Francis Guinan as Father Garrett. Jose Ziniga as Det. Detective Weiss is a partner, I guess.

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Jesse Ramirez as Manuel. Manuel. April Grace as Dr. Archer. And let's see. And I'm going to butcher this one as well. To Noah Reed as the bouncer at Midnight's Club.

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So what animal is this? It's like seven frogs. What card is this? The ace of spades or some random card selection.

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Shia LaBeouf could never figure it out. He's like, oh, no, you ain't coming through.

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All right, so we begin the movie. We start off in Mexico as a scavenger recovers the tip of the spear that pierced Christ from a ruined church. Basically, this spear is the spear of destiny in DC Comics. It's one of the few things that can actually hurt the specter in DC Comics. I like out of everything, the spear of destiny, and it was owned by the Nazis.

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So the Nazis had it. Yeah, mostly like in the old JSA comics from the 1940s and 50s. That's where the spear of destiny was first debuted as in JSA when they were fighting Hitler. We had Superman punching Hitler and stuff like that. The same thing like we kept in America in that same era.

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All right, we have he's getting us and becoming possessed and he takes it to Los Angeles. There, cynical occult expert John Constantine is exercising a demon from a young girl after witnessing its attempt to come through her to Earth, something that should be impossible because of a treaty between heaven and hell.

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Basically, God and the devil in this universe made a wager to see how many people they convert to go to heaven or hell, but they couldn't have direct interference in the world itself. Yeah, which is a good concept. I don't see God playing games, but sure, we'll go with that.

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Suffering from terminal lung cancer, Constantine meets the half-breed, he calls him the half-breed angel Gabriel, to request an extension to his life in exchange for his work deporting Hill's forces. Gabriel responds that performing good deeds for selfish reasons will not secure his way into heaven.

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Basically, she looks at her and she's like, you're fucked. Sorry, Constantine, I'll see you in heaven. I don't know how to get to hell, does he? He's technically... Yeah, he's supposed to be going to hell. The reason being is that apparently whenever he was a kid, he tried to commit suicide. Yeah, remember.

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Yeah. Didn't that give him his abilities in this world? Yes, it made it to where he could see the beans or whatever. Elsewhere, we have Detective Angela Dodson is investigating the death of her twin sister, Isabelle, who leapt from a psychiatric hospital roof.

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Angela refuses to believe her sister, a devout Catholic, would commit suicide and condemn herself to hell. Watching security footage, Angela hears Isabelle say, Constantine, and seeks out his assistance after hearing that.

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Remember that image? Like she's turning around the camera. She's like, Constantine. Yeah. And then she fucking jumps. Yeah, she's fucking dips.

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So it wasn't that creepy. I don't think we looked at the camera. It's like, Constantine. Like, fuck.

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I need to look at the camera before you. She knew what she was doing. Yeah. He refuses to help until he witnesses demons pursuing Angela and fends him off. Basically where the street lights and stuff start going off whenever they're standing in front of Virgin Mary.

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Oh yeah, I remember that was like those little shadow creatures. Yeah. And he fucking gets so he puts some cloth on his hand. He lights it and he's like, yeah, take that. It's like, cover your eyes.

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I guess a flash grenade would have done the same thing. Pretty much.

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He uses the ritual to see Isabelle in hell and confirms that she killed herself where he looks into the cat's eyes. I remember that because he came back. He was fucking scorched. He's like, I'm hungry.

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He wasn't like smoking like his whole body was on fire. Yeah, because he like burned all the water off of him. Yeah. Like he's actually in hell the entire time. Not just the like spirit version in hell, but his actual body.

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Right. Constantine tells me if I remember that scene before when he tells you to leave, he doesn't need fucking put a spider under a cup and like not welcome to my world. He fucking blows a bunch of cigarette smoke.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah. Fucked up like, ah, cold as motherfucker.

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And then Dawson ends up letting it out. Yeah. Yeah. Bitch, that's a black widow. It's gonna kill me.

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That's hilarious. Constantine tells Angela that he committed suicide as a teenager because he was traumatized by seeing supernatural creatures. And though he was revived. Oh, wait, he saw them before. He saw them before. Okay. Never mind that.

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Though he was revived when he dies, he is condemned to hell because of it. It's like, damn it. Yeah, pretty much. And apparently, he was dead for like two minutes, but it was years in hell at the same like the time moves slower.

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Damn. Years.

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Years in hell. At the morgue, Constantine's friend, Father Hennessy discovers a symbol on Isbell's wrist, but is killed by the half-breed demon Balthazar.

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Hennessy is that one that has that weird ability to like, uh. Where he can sense the dead or whatever basically, but like where he drinks alcohol to like calm himself down. To keep him from affecting him. Yeah. Yeah. And then he makes him stop drinking. He's fucking going through all these newspapers.

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He fucking catches one of those news, but this is the one. Yeah. And the way Balthazar kills him is that after he goes to the morgue where Isabel is, he touches her like, I guess, arm or something like that. I can't remember where the symbol starts reappearing back on her arm again. And he like, he's needing a drink as soon as that happens. That weird thing where like he was drinking, but it was nothing coming out in his mind. Yeah. But he's like legit fucking drowning himself. Yeah.

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That shit still traumatized me to this day. I'm like, man. That would suck so bad too. Like where he's like, I need to drink something. And it just like. And like it's just empty. Yep.

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After that, Constantine and Angela discover Hennessy carved the symbol into his hand. Oh yeah. That shit fucking freaked me out too. Yeah. Where he's gouging it.

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I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Just write it down on a piece of fucking paper. Stop gouging your hand out.

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Angela finds a clue hidden in Isabel's hospital room concerning a chapter of hell's Bible. After that, basically, apparently Isabel and Angela used to leave messages for each other on the windows. Oh yeah. A little Maris. Yeah.

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Or you have constantly, where did she leave it? Where did she leave the message? Right here.

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Just breathe all over.

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And apparently there is a 21 chapters to the, that Bible verse and the hell's Bible. That's it. Yeah. They lack it.

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Yeah. They lack it. 21 of the same like there's in the normal Bible, there's 17 verses to that chapter specifically. And this one there's 21.

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Cause it shows about how the son of Satan will come back to earth and not just about Christ ending the world.

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Before being killed by Balthazar, Constantine's ally B-Man tells the pair the symbol represents the anti-Christ Mammon. Lucifer's son and the chapter prophesizes him asserting his father and conquering the earth using a powerful psychic and divine assistance.

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The psychic Isabel killed herself to stop Mammon. That was the whole point that she actually jumped from the roof because she didn't want to be possessed. Yeah.

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Angela reveals that she possessed powers like Isabel, but repressed them to avoid being deemed insane like her sister. So she left her sister there just to dry. She hung her out to dry. It's like,

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Damn it. You want to live a normal life? Yeah. Being a cop?

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Well, apparently whenever they were kids, Isabel's like, tell them you see them too. Tell them Angela. And she's like, I don't see nothing.

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Just left her. Are you crazy?

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Apparently she repressed it for so long. She quit singing them. Okay.

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Constantine helps Angela reawaken her powers by inducing a near death experience and uses them to find Balthazar.

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Yeah. Fucking holds her down in a fucking tub. And she's like, I'm trying to fight. He puts it like she, he's like, here, just lie down in this fucking tub.

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You got to be fully submerged.

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Yeah. Full water. And then he puts his arm on her chest and then she's like chilling for a second. Then she tries to get up and he's like, no.

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And he keeps her pressed down. Cause he never said anything, right? Yeah. Just fucking presses all hard and keeps her down, right? And then she fucking fights for her life to get out of the water.

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And it doesn't work. And then time slows down. Yeah. Time slows down. And the tub breaks.

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He's like, she's like, I see what happened or is it some shit? And he's like, my tub, where am I going to bathe now?

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And it was an old piece of shit tub.

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Then we have Constantine. He goes to interrogate Balthazar and learns that the blood of Christ on the tip of the spear is in Mamon's divine assistance.

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And Angela has been chosen as the new host. An unseen entity destroys Balthazar and abducts Angela, who becomes possessed by Mamon.

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With the help of the witch doctor Papa Midnight, Constantine induces vision.

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Footballer name. Papa Midnight. Yeah.

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What was it? He grabs him by the chest, shoves his hands into like the inside of his ribs. And it's like, not in my house.

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Oh, yeah. That's just like a regular move. You could do something.

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Not in my house. Just fuck him up for no reason.

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That would suck. You know, when people hit you with like with the tip of their fingers on the side of your belly. Yeah. That shit fucking kills.

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So imagine imagine all of them going up into your fucking gut.

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He basically sits in a electric chair. Yeah. And Midnight shocks it basically.

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He's like, are you ready? He's like, no. He fucking shocks him anyway.

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He's been waiting to do that shit. Yeah.

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So with that, are you ready? Like, no. Are you going to get ready?

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Are you going to get ready? He spits the shit on the floor, the alcohol. Oh, yeah. What do you drink that for?

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I think he just wants to drink the alcohol and spit it everywhere. Weird.

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So with Midnight's help, Constantine induces visions to locate Angela at the psychiatric hospital.

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Alongside his driver and apprentice, Chase Kramer. Shia LaBeouf. Yeah, I'm Chase Kramer.

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Constantine, I dropped a taxi. You fucked up my taxi with that big ass mirror.

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He's like, I told you to move it. Yeah. Like in the beginning of the movie, that girl that was getting possessed by a demon, John Constantine trapped it in a mirror.

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Yeah. And threw that bitch out the window. He looked out the window and he's like, move the car.

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And he fucking just tosses the mirror and the shit. I don't know where you find that big ass 300 pound mirror is what it looked like.

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And then at the beginning to that one jackass that he said, don't look to every person. The one Mexican dude. I'm going to look.

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I don't remember. And he became super aged, super fast. Did he? Yeah, and died. Shit.

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And he's like, I'm going to look. I'm going to look. I'm old as fuck now.

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Fuck. Old man.

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Imagine him throughout the whole movie harassing John. Stop making. I need your help. I told you not to look.

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But I had to look. I would have kept on running with that old man constantly bothering Constantine.

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Like, are you going to change me from being an old man? Give me my life back.

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No, damn it. You're old. It's your fault.

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He told him don't look. It's hard like that. Well, Indiana Jones said don't look and no one looked.

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Exactly. Those Nazis looked. What happened to them?

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Well, how their faces melt off. That's the biggest difference.

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So we have Constantine and Chase seemingly exorcise Mamon from Angela because apparently the demon possessed her.

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But Chase is killed by the unseen force. Revealed to be Gabriel whenever Constantine.

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The kid died? Yeah, he died. I forgot about that.

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Where he got thrown to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling and then down.

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Damn. All by Gabriel.

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Didn't John have this bad ass fucking cross shotgun or some shit?

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Yeah, with the dragon breath. Yeah. Yeah.

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Shit is fucking beautiful.

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That's how he melted the mirror whenever he went to go interrogate Balthazar. He shot it through the mirror at him.

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Oh yeah, like it fucked up his face. So you saw like his actual demon half-sensory.

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He was like, I was bored in the fire. That shit kind of hurt though anyway. It's kind of weird.

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Although I do have to admit that was really good prosthetics that they used to make his face look demonic.

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Yeah, it was really good.

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Actually, production now, that's his actual face.

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They had to put a human face over his face.

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All right. After it's revealed to be Gabriel, resentful at God's favoritism for humanity and forgiveness for even the most wicked.

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Gabriel intends to unleash hell on earth so that those who survive will become truly worthy of his love.

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You bitch.

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Gabriel tosses Constantine aside through glass and everything and where he slides up against double doors.

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And basically then she prepares or he whatever the hell they're representing Gabriel at this point as, androgynous.

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It prepares to pierce Angela with the spirit tip to unleash Mamon unto the world.

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Desperate, Constantine commits suicide again by splitting his wrist.

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Knowing that Lucifer will personally come up to collect him.

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And that was a really horrible scene too with all that like black tarry goop and shit coming down when Lucifer appeared.

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Oh for me. Yeah, he was wearing white. No shoes for some reason.

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Yeah, like a homeless person.

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So you have a time pauses and Constantine.

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He convinces Lucifer to intervene and stop my mom.

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Doesn't he? Doesn't he fucking sit out or some shit?

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Yeah, he did. And then like he starts patting his feet around.

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I got Constantine. That's the weirdest shit. I remember he started fucking doing a little tippy tap.

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What the fuck are you doing?

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And it's funny too because whenever he, Constantine needed a cigarette.

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He's like, just one more. I'm going to die anyway.

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Oh yeah. He couldn't fucking turn the lighter on because his fucking blood was all over his hands.

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His wrists were messed up. The ligaments in his.

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I got you bro.

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But he had to fuck with him a little bit.

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And then he did not believe Constantine whenever Constantine said, so how's your son doing?

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He's like, Oh, you know, the family's good.

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He's like, well, he's with Gabriel.

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He's like, Oh, sure.

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He's like, what? 20 more seconds. Turn around. They're over there.

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One of the weirdest parts is when Lucifer walks to go where Gabriel was, he like explodes the glass out.

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It's like so over dramatic as fuck.

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Something you would expect from Lucifer. What you would expect him to do.

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Gabriel ineffectually attempts to smite Lucifer, which is one of the funniest things I've seen where it's like, I will smite you.

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Lucifer, then she got her fucking wings blown off right after that because Lucifer's somebody doesn't have your back.

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She has no powers anymore. Yeah. And yeah, Lucifer burns away Gabriel's wings before banishing my mom back to hell.

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Lucifer offers to restore Constantine to life for his assistance, but he instead asks that Isabel be sent to heaven instead.

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Yeah. Yeah. Nice person.

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Is that she calling extra time? Like done.

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That was no big fan. No, it was like, okay.

166
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She's there. I 100% promise. Thank you. Swear.

167
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Lucifer releases Isabel, but Constantine begins ascending to heaven for a selfless sacrifice.

168
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No, that doesn't mean like try to drag him away. He gets too heavy for him.

169
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Like where the whole tile starts smashing together. Yeah.

170
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It's like crushing under him. Yeah. He's like you heavy son of a bitch. What the hell happened?

171
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And then Constantine just starts going up towards the clouds and he turns around and flips them off.

172
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And then the big fuck you to contemplate happen next.

173
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Yeah. Infuriated. Lucifer restores Constantine to life and removes his cancer from his lungs.

174
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And he pulled out those fucking lungs. They were fucked. I guess it was just like the cancer, right?

175
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Yeah. The black cancer fucking gross.

176
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Believing that in time he will prove that he belongs in hell.

177
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And I actually say him now he's guaranteed to go to heaven.

178
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No, because he got restored back to life.

179
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So basically Lucifer thought that Constantine does so many fuck ups all the time that he's going to fuck up before he gets back to heaven again.

180
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But if he dies, if he dies automatically, he's going straight to heaven.

181
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But then if he dies like a little bit later, he does. He still goes to heaven, doesn't he? Yes.

182
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But that's Lucifer's banking that he won't. He will fuck up again.

183
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Yeah. Or he dies. Enough of a fuck up that he'll go to hell. Yes.

184
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So that's a heavy bank to be a benton.

185
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But he's got the precedence apparently because look, he's committed suicide.

186
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And then there's that fucking thing where like he's, he's like doing that monologue Constantine's and he's like doing that thing.

187
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Like he's like smack, like, like, you know, when smokers hit their cigarettes before they open a new pack and like, oh, he's smoking again.

188
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I mean, the camera pans with me. They got you chewing gum.

189
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You're fucking chewing like you're smacking your gum like a fucking pack of cigarettes.

190
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But right after he's returned back to life, he punches the shit out of Gabriel before leaving.

191
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Oh yeah. She says like, like, you could have shot me. Yeah, you didn't.

192
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That means you're improving. Fucking teeth falling out.

193
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He's like, that's called pain. Get used to it. Man.

194
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And then he entrusts Angela with securing the spear of destiny.

195
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I'd be like, what? No, what do you mean Angela? Give it to Papa Midnight.

196
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Well, I think Papa Midnight is a demon. I think.

197
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I thought it was human. I can't remember if it, cause I think he was a half breed too.

198
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Oh, give it to somebody that's keeping your sense.

199
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Don't give it to some random woman that just barely understands the world that they fight in.

200
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Give it to someone with some clout that can actually protect it.

201
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I'm sure there's Dr. Strange around there somewhere.

202
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And then at the very end, in like the post credit scene, we have Constantine is visiting, what's his name?

203
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Kramer's grave. And he's witnessing him turning into an angelic form, leaving the grave site.

204
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That's nice. Kramer's that kid, right? Yeah.

205
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He should have gone to hell.

206
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At this point, probably.

207
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So fucking annoying. Yeah. I couldn't send him any episode of that. Any, any scene he had.

208
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Just annoying as hell. I don't know. I just, his character rubbed me the wrong way.

209
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Didn't one of them use, was it him or was it Constantine that blessed the water in the fire extinguishers? Like the fire, like.

210
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Well, they put the Holy Cross into the, the water tank on top of the building. Yeah. And then it became all holy water.

211
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All the water. What are those? The spring? Yeah. The fire sprinklers. Fire sprinklers, yeah.

212
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John, he comes up, he's like, you need to leave now or else he's going to send you all back to hell.

213
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He's like, hi, my name's John.

214
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That was a smart move. They were, you know, instead of just running in there, just shooting everybody. Yeah.

215
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Just holy water. Yeah. Just like, you know, that's how, that's how you win fights people. You outsmite your opponent. Yeah.

216
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I see. I liked it though, because it was one of the few movies that you actually get to see.

217
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What's his name? Keanu Reeves actually play like the, the asshole character.

218
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Because most of the time he's just kind of like the, the sad character for the most part. Like even in John Wick, like his dog died.

219
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So he's sad, like, like sad, angry. It's never, it's never like something like he's not pure asshole for the most part.

220
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There is one movie where, where he's home alone, right? His wife, kids are out of town and these two young girls,

221
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like, I mean, young women, not girls, but they come to his house and they just, it's so weird. Like they just make themselves at home, right? Yeah.

222
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They're like, they're showering in the, in the, in the shower, their ass naked. They keep being all seductive with him, right?

223
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They hook up with him. Then they bury him in the backyard, up to his neck. Then they, they, they record, then they play the, the video and leave it there for him to watch.

224
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Right as his wife is getting there. Apparently what these girls do is that they go to men's houses and they ruin their marriage.

225
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Like that's revenge for something. I can't remember what it was for, right? And, and Keanu Reeves is just pissed, right?

226
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It's just a video of him banging the chick. His wife's coming. There's nothing he can do. So when she sees the video, he's fucked.

227
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He's like, oh, you can't do that. You, you suck my dick. You can't do that. You suck my dick. That's the, that was the last line of the movie. You suck my dick.

228
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That's Keanu Reeves screaming, you suck my dick. How could you do this to me? No, no.

229
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It's such a weird movie.

230
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You can't do this to a man you sick dick. You suck. You can't do this. It's so fucking weird.

231
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It's just random.

232
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Yeah. Like what? They didn't have to go to his house to catch, to, to, I guess they wanted to prove that all men cheat and they're all horrible people to, so they just go there and just ruin men's lives.

233
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They don't kill him or I guess maybe they dig it into a fight or physical artications after, after he found out they had sinister intentions.

234
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Yeah. But it just, it, it's such a comedic level it gets to. Like he's fucking, he's buried up to his head, up to his neck. So he's not actually going to die or anything.

235
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Right. Unless some fucking, it starts raining, he starts fucking drowning in the rain.

236
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His wife covers his head with a bucket.

237
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Yeah. Or like they, they just leave the video propped up on a phone. I don't know if it's his phone or whose phone.

238
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Him banging one of the chicks. He's just so mad. Like you can't, no.

239
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It's so, I'll, I'll check it out and talk about it later. But, I mean, I just gave you the best part of the movie.

240
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No, no.

241
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To hear Keanu Reeves scream.

242
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Like the most thing you do not expect.

243
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The most Keanu Reeves sound I've ever heard in my life.

244
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But it's something that if you haven't seen it yet, it's one of those kind of movies that, is it the best movie in the world? No, obviously.

245
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But it's like when you see the cinematography.

246
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Is it the best John Constantine movie ever? Yes. Is it the only John Constantine movie ever? Yes.

247
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For the moment, yes.

248
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If there's only one, it has to be the best. I guess it can be the best and the worst.

249
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Yeah. I will say though for the amount of their budget being between 70 and a hundred million, they actually had really good cinematography in it.

250
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You remember the scene where that demon attacks him and he uses a cricket in a matchbook?

251
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Oh yeah. Where he, the scab, the scarab thing where he shakes it and it.

252
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What's that thing from? What was the significance that was so powerful? Like it kept disorienting the demon?

253
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It was something that I remember the.

254
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I love shit like that when it's like all these little lore items and weapons and stuff. Like the cloth, the spear, the cricket. That shit is my jam.

255
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Then the fucking, the cross and the water, the fucking gun.

256
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That's the thing though. Like all those fucking artifacts and stuff is just too good.

257
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For whenever it came out, it was not like the most action heavy movie, but whenever you watch it for what it is, it's really good.

258
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Like when you go back and watch it, it was rated, I think a 5.5 from a New York times or something like that.

259
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Whenever it first came out, you go back and watch it now. It's like, damn compared to the movies we got now.

260
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Like they took time to set up the shots for most of the time. Like taking it from like a cinematography angle, the way they did the lighting, the way they did the, the framing of the characters and stuff like that.

261
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It was like perfect almost. So whoever directed the guy that directed it, he did a really good job. Well, it's hunger games, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

262
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That shit made a billion dollars. Remember his name. But his name is hunger games. Hunger games now.

263
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You know, Jennifer Lawrence is in a movie called no hard feelings. And she's hired by this couple to basically bang their son. Right.

264
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And get him out of their head of his shell before he goes to college. She does it because she just lost her car and she's an Uber driver.

265
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She doesn't drive. She can't, her job and she can't afford the mortgage on the house. Her mom left her. She'll lose the house.

266
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So she's desperate and they'll give her a car if she agrees to do all this stuff. Right. So really funny. It's a recent really funny comedy. Apparently there's a scene I saw.

267
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I haven't seen the movie, but I've seen scenes of it where they're going skinny dipping in the ocean and these teenagers come and they steal, try to steal their clothes. Right.

268
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And she comes out, ass naked and beats the fuck out all three of them while she's naked the whole time. It's so fucking funny. She fucking suplexes the guy.

269
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And she takes a, one of the guys hits her in the back like three times with like a head, like with a fucking towel, just whipping the shit.

270
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They're just, she's fist fighting all three of them. And then they run away. So you're fucking crazy. She's like, you say I'm Montauk, New Jersey.

271
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It's such a funny, it's so weird seeing her, Jennifer Lawrence, right. This A-list actress, ass naked, having a fist fight is such an odd step, you know.

272
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But hey, she's game. I guess I can watch.

273
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No, it's just body double. No, it was just her. Sure. Like you face, you see her fucking full body come out head first.

274
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Here's how you tell it's not a body double. If you can see their head, at least for the good portion of it, it's her.

275
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Well, body double usually it cuts away and it's for some reason just their lower body or their back and then it comes back to just their face. That's the body double.

276
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But with CGI now. Don't you ruin this part. Don't you ruin this part.

277
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But would that anything else to head before we head out?

278
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What's a good line from that movie?

279
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I mean, I actually had quite a few.

280
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I love, you know, I love good lines of dialogue. Oh yeah, I guess it's like, are you ready? No.

281
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So the best one for me is whenever he was, whenever he was exercising that girl, he leaned down. He's like, hey, this is John Constantine.

282
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,200
And then just shoves that one like silver piece on his forehead, make it scream.

283
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,200
That's another item. What's that?

284
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,200
I don't remember what it actually is.

285
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,200
You know, let me watch this movie to document all this goddamn items.

286
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:21,200
I remember that fucking spear made that guy's body like indestructible. I hit by a fucking car. That car like cave in.

287
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,200
Yeah. He was fine. He's like, what the fuck, bro?

288
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Wasn't he walking so much his fucking feet started to just bled behind him. Yeah.

289
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,200
And then he gave it to somebody and then he just fucking dies.

290
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I can't remember what he did with the spear.

291
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,200
No, he had it all the way up until he possessed it. My mom possessed a what's her name?

292
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,200
What's her name? Oh, okay. Like all the way to the end.

293
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:52,200
Damn. Because as soon as he popped out of the pool, which is funny, she started firing at him because she's a police officer. So she had a gun on her. Yeah.

294
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It just went straight through him, hitting the tiles behind him. Oh, damn.

295
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See, now you have to go back and watch it.

296
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That we will see you guys on the next one.

