Hello and welcome to episode 40 of the podcast.
I'm Michael.
I'm Noe.
And we are the Knights of Entertainment, a podcast covering your favorite and unknown
comic books, movies, games, anime, and more weekly.
We appreciate you being here and hope you enjoy the show.
This is what we are covering tonight.
We are doing episode two of Blue Mountain State.
Craig Lewis is his promised ring and a stripper.
That's the title.
Before we do, like, share, and subscribe to the channel.
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Other stuff.
Other stuff as well.
There you go.
But let's go ahead and get into this.
So if you know, Blue Mountain State, the old show from back in Spike TV, back when you
were allowed to be irreverent without fear of being canceled, I guess there's a difference
between being comedically irreverent and just being hateful and spiteful.
And nowadays there's a thin line that people keep saying, but it's actually more broad
than that.
But you can be making fun of stuff and not mean like it to be in a demeaning or harsh
way.
I mean, South Park's been doing that for years now.
Right.
And they keep trying to cancel them all the time.
They walk that wide line.
So Blue Mountain State was at just really irreverent comedy show about the college football
team and their football players.
They're pretty much their little exploits throughout the series.
The ones with the Oreos in their ass.
The one with the Oreo race up there.
Chocolate cookie.
Get this man a chalk strap.
Gonna have a chocolate cookie race.
We have episode one on the podcast.
You can check that out first.
So basically in this episode, Denise, Craig's girlfriend, everyone knows Craig Shiloh.
I guess I'm gonna start talking like you know what the show is.
If I have to explain it every episode, it'll be horrendous.
So Craig's girlfriend, he's going out of town to meet her sister and they're not hooking
up at all.
Like she wants to be celibate until they're married and his balls are so fucking heavy.
Like you can just see the bulge in his fucking, just from his fucking jeans.
Like you can see it vibrate from the fucking pain of blue balls.
Yes, but she doesn't though.
Didn't she hook up with the two?
She hooked up with two fucking chicks that the booster set for Craig as a welcoming gift
to the college.
Like two awesome, she tossed him out when they first showed up and she broke one of
their noses and then at the end of the episode she had both of them back just for her having
both of them stripped in front of her and she banged both of them while Craig was fucking
hauling ass with a chocolate cookie up his asshole trying to win a race so he didn't
have to eat it.
If he lost the race, he had to eat that chocolate cookie.
It was an Oreo and if you ever had an Oreo between your butt cheeks, it gets real flat.
You ever seen a really flat Oreo just wet and flat?
You'll see it there.
So she's going out of town and she's like, it's funny because Craig is like, he follows
that line of what she says.
He says, well, no, I guess not because here's what happens.
Why the fuck did I say that?
So no banging, no nothing.
So she gives him a promise ring to wear while she's gone that her grandfather owned.
Don't you lose this promise ring.
And you read the title, you heard the title.
So there you go.
So she leaves.
It cuts to them being right after the game.
They had just won this big game fucking Craig guy like 222 all purpose yards and two touchdowns.
He is like a star athlete.
So they all decide to go to a strip club and celebrate their big victory.
So they go and it just fucking they party all night.
They party all night and then they party all night and then they come out the strip club
and it is like broad daylight outside.
It's like, my God, is it morning or is it afternoon or like is the sun rising or setting?
Like it's just like it's so bright outside.
You'll never know how bright the outside can be until you left like a theater or a strip
club or something, something dark and dim lit.
You go outside and it's like a whole different universe.
They just wake up and all your sins are visible for everyone to see.
Like, my God, what have I done?
And they're all leaving.
They're all fucked up.
And Craig's like, oh, he's looking, he's checking his pockets for the fucking wedding
ring or not the promise ring.
He fucking lost the promise ring and he tried to go right back to the club.
But they immediately the minute they left, they locked the doors and they're like, we
won't be open till 6 p.m.
So he's like, fuck, where could I have lost the promise ring?
And then his friend of Moran's like, well, where were you keeping your fingers?
So he smells his fingers and smells like perfume and stale cigarettes.
And he's like, my God, you lost it up a stripper's vagina.
So he's like, fuck, can you imagine just fucking up that bad that you just lose something
about a woman's body part?
So he's like, all right, I'm going to go back to the strip club at 6 p.m.
I'm going to go find this damn wedding or this promise ring and everything.
Because Denise comes back that night.
So he's got to pick her up at the airport.
So if he goes to the strip club first, gets to this promise ring, all will be well.
So they go back to the fucking strip club and Moran's like, no, Craig's like, how am
I going to find this wedding or this promise ring?
Moran's like, I got you covered.
And he pulls out a metal detector, one of those fucking wand ones.
And Craig's like, are you fucking serious?
Like, do you want that promise ring or not?
And he grabs the fucking metal detector and he just comes nonchalantly going up the stripper
and going up their fucking vagina.
Of course, you don't know they can have fucking those piercings.
What the fuck are you doing?
So and he gets the one stripper and she's like, what the hell are you doing?
Like, I lost my promise ring.
I think I lost it up one of these women's vaginas.
They're trying to be all.
He's not trying to say it right.
And she's like, well, up there, pussy.
I'm like, God.
So she's like, have you tried the lost and found?
He's like, the Moran with the lost and found.
Moran's like, yeah, I knew about the lost and found.
I just want to use this metal detector and watch you use it first.
So they go check the lost and found and they dump out this whole box of stuff, right?
Wallets, cell phone keys, right?
And he's like, you lose it?
You pick this stuff up?
What do you find?
It's like in the VIP room?
The woman's like, no, up our vaginas.
It's like, up our pussies.
I'm like, God, you have a whole fucking cell phone.
Lost up your fucking crack.
What the fuck?
So they dig around and it's not there.
Fucking promise ring is still not there.
So earlier in the episode, Sammy Moran's friend, who's now Craig's friend, he got lent $30
by Craig to get a special VIP treatment with the strippers.
And Craig's like, oh, no problem.
The less money I have, the less trouble I'll get into.
And so Sammy's like, well, you gave me $30.
So now I owe you one.
So don't you worry.
I'm going to fix everything.
And he fucking dips.
And then Moran's like, damn, you never give Sammy any money ever.
So Sammy wants to pay back Craig the $30.
So what does he do?
He decides to stage a fucking robbery at Denise and Craig's fucking dorm room.
And he fucking trashes the whole fucking place.
He trashes the place, right?
To make it seem as the promise room was stolen.
Trashes that fucking, steals the TV, his clothes.
He puts on the wall $30 paid back in full.
You're welcome.
I don't know why he decided to write.
He's fucking incriminating.
And then he took a dump on the coffee table.
And he's like, so Sammy and Moran and Craig and Denise, they all get to the fucking dorm
room.
And it's all fucking trash.
The police are there.
And Denise is like, there's fucking shit on the coffee table.
And then she starts looking closer and like, is that your promise ring?
And you look down, it pans down and the promise ring is in the Sammy shit.
So then you realize that Sammy being at the club, he had eaten out the woman that had
the ring up her.
And he swallowed it.
So he's like, and he ate it.
And he without even noting, how the fuck do you eat them?
How the fuck you drunk son of a bitch?
You would have choked on that, but he fucking got it.
Or he shoved it up his ass.
No, well, who knows what they get into.
No, because he had to, you know, he didn't know he had it.
And why would the woman put it up his asshole?
He had to have eaten it.
That would be the...
Because that's the only thing that would make logical sense.
The stripper wouldn't know that she had it up there yet.
And while Sammy ate her out, he wouldn't know.
There would be no way he'd just shove it up his ass.
That would make no sense.
I'm gonna go with the logical one and say he ate her out.
And he's like, damn girl.
Went right back to it.
What is that?
That's all right.
It went right back to town.
Every guy does that.
It's a hair?
No problem.
But get back on that.
If you're a true guy, you'll go...
She could queef in your face.
No, don't worry.
Let me get back on it.
Let me get some oxygen first.
I'll get right back to work.
Don't you worry.
I'll get right back on it.
So hey, man, we may have to be troopers.
When in doubt, eat around.
So that's how they find...
Denise makes him put the fucking wedding, the promise ring back on, covered in shit.
There's a fucking police officer, right?
Who's probably seen a horrific crime.
He's like...
He's about to fucking bomb it.
I would too.
He didn't even have to clean it.
He just put it straight on, covered in shit.
Yeah, that's the funniest part.
Watching?
No, he's just like...
Denise is like, there you go.
Don't you ever take that off again.
I'll break your fucking fingers.
She didn't say that, but that's how she fucking imbues her energy.
So that's Craig's story.
That's the main storyline of the episode.
So we have the B plot.
Moran is at the fucking park in the dormitory, the quad, I guess they call it.
I don't know.
I've never been to college.
I'm a loser.
Look at the bright side.
You at least don't owe $100,000.
Well, yeah, there is a bright side.
You gotta look at the silver lining.
And he sees this girl walking and he's like, he just like, it just hits him, right?
Every guy you see, we all have our types, right?
You don't know why.
And you're just like, that's the one right there.
I don't know why.
It could be like, you could have a drop 10 model, right?
She's a 10, they say, in the fucking world.
And you're like, you don't even see, you see a sea pastor.
So the nerdy girl with glasses like that girl's got some glasses on, got in her fucking hairs
and that one strand of hair is coming down.
Like every guy, right?
There's a one.
We're not a one.
It's just like we all, we know there is.
It's a type.
Like there's that one thing that draws you in.
Yeah, like, but it could be any type of girl.
Like she could be a redhead or blonde, whatever.
It's just like something about like you just feel it, right?
I need to get laid.
Anyway, so he sees a chick and he's like, oh shit.
And he goes up to talk to her, right?
And fucking lo and behold, that the fucking linebacker who's like the kind of like the
bully of the team, but he's so funny that you love him.
Yeah.
He's like, stay away from my.
That's my half sister, Moran.
You stay the hell away from her.
Like it says his half sister, but Alma from Bosnia.
Like his dad, when his dad was in Bosnia, he had an affair and he had a half sister.
Like his dad's a war hero in Bosnia.
I think that's supposed to be some jab at some war crimes or something.
I don't know.
But he's got a half sister in Alma and Moran's like all about that because it's dad's half
sister and Moran and dad's like, you stay away from my sister or you'll be you won't
get to live to regret it.
So he tried to keep him apart, but Moran is able to get her phone number on his phone
and he said that we can hang out on Saturday.
She's like, yeah, Saturday.
She doesn't speak English.
She barely like whatever words barely come out of her mouth.
And she and he invites her to the strip club that Saturday night where they're all at the
after the after the game.
And that is a regular at that strip club.
He goes in, he comes, he passes the whole line.
He doesn't have to wait in line.
He knows the fucking bouncer.
What's up, T?
And what's up, dad?
Come on in.
So they put they there's no table at the at the stage, right?
They all put a table there.
The fucking workers went dad gets there.
Yes, he's walking toward it.
They're fucking setting the table up.
He knows all the strippers, man.
He's a fucking like how's it going with Lotus Chrysler, Lila, Chardonnay, Sable, Absinthe,
Tolerance, Nutmeg.
What's up, Trixie?
Like every time I got it.
So the sad thing is, so Alma comes in and dad's like, Alma, no, no.
What the hell you doing, Moran?
You can't put it in this disgusting place of filth.
Just going off and he fucking takes his sister away.
So we're leaving Alma.
Bad.
He talks to her like a fucking like an animal.
So dad flips out, takes his sister away and the next day during practice, right before
there's Craig, I'm supposed to go back to check the look for his promise ring.
Miranda Moran sees Alma again sitting by the bench.
He goes up and he wants to apologize for taking her to the strip club.
He felt good, but she's like she wants to go back to the strip club again.
Like she's like, like you want to go to the strip club?
She's like, yeah, strip club.
And so he's like, all right.
And then fucking dad from across the hall, the fucking fields like Alma, no, dirty, no.
Moran is hardest to keep him away from Moran.
So she goes with she.
They go back to the strip club and while Moran, Craig and Sammy were looking for the promise
ring, she fucking starts gets up and dances.
Now she's making money.
And Miranda's like, well, I fucked that one up.
Fuck.
So she's now a stripper at that strip club.
So then that dad comes in to again that night, right?
To his usual doings.
And when he gets there, he sees the new girl wearing a wig and he's like, who's the new
girl?
I got a boner already.
Come on, girl, give me a lap dancing.
Of course she turns around and is all mine.
I was like, fucking has a heart attack.
He's like, damn it, Moran's fault.
So he fucking bolts out of the fucking, he bolts out of the fucking strip club and he
goes after, he goes to look for Moran at his dorm.
He's like, open up the door, the door, Moran, I know you're in there.
And he kicks it in, right?
And he just walks in.
But Moran's at the fucking burglary at Craig's.
So then the cops get a fucking call saying there's another burglary at 107 and Moran's
like, Moran and Sam are like, wait, that's our dorm room.
So they go back to the door.
They're walking the hallway to go back to the same building to go to their dorm.
And then Sam runs past the two cops, Sammy and Moran.
And he walks past Moran's like, you don't mess with the man's family, Moran.
And he fucking leaves.
And they go to the dorm room.
The dorm room is, their dorm room is trash.
Not only is it trash, he took a shit on the coffee table.
Yeah, he took that.
Sammy's like, that's a copycat burglar for sure.
So I'm surprised he didn't beat his ass.
But he's like twice his size.
That is a massive man.
And instead he took a, he just wrecked his fucking little apartment room and he took
a dump.
Everyone's like ready to take a dump.
Like immediately on a coffee table.
Just on command.
Yeah, I couldn't take a shit on command.
Or could I?
So that was the B plot of Blue Mountain State.
Just Moran ruined a woman's, well I guess I mean, I don't want to say he ruined her life.
Like if she wants to be a stripper, by all means, they make a fucking billion dollars
practice.
They make a lot of money.
I wish I could be a stripper.
Like who wants it ladies?
I got it all.
I'd be like fluffy.
The law says you cannot touch.
But I see a lot of lawbreakers out there.
That's from Magic Mike.
Yes I've seen Magic Mike.
The law says you cannot touch.
But I see a lot of lawbreakers out there.
I love that line.
I told you I'm a dialogue whore.
I love me some good dialogue.
And the sad thing is I can tell just by the voice who it is.
Who do you think it is?
Magic Mike.
I see a lot of lawbreakers out there.
I wish it was my ringtone.
I see a lot of lawbreakers out there.
That's sad that he's got such a unique voice.
I can't.
Yeah.
Like a speaking pattern.
You know it instantly.
It's like you could never see a movie and just know who it is.
Oh that's a good movie.
A lot of men dancing though.
Yeah not my thing.
But I don't mind.
It's all the same to me.
So that is episode two of Blue Mountain Stain.
Don't you worry I'll be doing more of these episodes.
It sounds extremely.
Episode three is called Pocket Pussy.
There you go.
You'll see you'll know eventually what the fuck happens on that.
It is fucking horrific what happens.
By the way, you've got to be fucking kidding me.
All of you.
I eat you every single one of you.
You'll know what I mean.
I'll do it.
I'll do it next week.
Cool.
Fucking nasty motherfucker.
That's the episode that turned the...
To me that's the episode that hit the stride.
That's when you knew it was a hit.
It was episode three.
First the title and then what happened and then you're like, man, you nasty sons of bitches.
The same one you sick motherfuckers.
See the thing is is that I before this I had never even heard of it.
It's a gem.
There's a lot of like especially on Tubi.
There's just I once saw an adult video with all the good bits cut out.
So it was like 40 minutes long and I'm like this is really...
This doesn't make any fucking sense at all.
They cut out all the good stuff and you're just sitting there like this plot is real
weak for some reason.
And I like half went through and I'm like wait a minute this is a dope movie isn't it?
Like one of those soft core ones right?
It was so short.
I think they combined two different...
It was like sci-fi right?
It's like sci-fi stuff.
Like oh we crash landed on this planet.
We have to figure out how to evade the evil empress from a different galactic empire right?
And then the other one this chick's trying to figure out how to make better dildos and
they never intersected.
Because the lines keep cutting into each other the scenes.
I'm like this is two different fucking soft core movies they put together with no adult
content so I'm just like what the fuck is happening?
There's nothing happening.
The two characters, the characters from each different movie never intersected.
So they was two different movies like legit.
And I'm like why did you...
What is it?
What?
I'm like what?
What?
It's like if it was a cowboy and a fucking modern movie.
Like in one movie they're riding horses and then they cuts to some person like going to
work in a car and then it goes back to them in the fucking... in the west right?
Then it goes back to her going to the office and then it goes back to them having a shootout.
You're like what the fuck is happening?
The sex parts tied together?
No I don't know maybe actually.
They took them all out.
You will find them they are infinitely funny when there's no actual adult stuff.
You're like oh this is... because you know there's nothing you're looking forward to.
You're watching for it for what it is and it's like this is mildly entertaining.
You're gonna have to do a couple of episodes sometime where it's like this was the plot
without the sex.
Yeah and some of them are real bad.
You can just tell like this was just it was set up for that.
But there's and they're all on TV is where I've seen them.
And I'm like man they're real odd without the other stuff.
There's nowhere to go with them is what I'm saying.
They just go to that one point every scene is for the adult stuff.
Because most people were done I feel.
So I'm just like watching like an hour of like nothing I'm like what the fuck?
And like there's no nudity either so you're just like man this is boring.
Where's the teddy's at?
They're funny though.
Yeah.
Especially that one I just talked about.
Because it's it's I get is two different fucking softcore movies and they fucking put them
together because they're both too short apparently and they don't make any fucking sense.
They do not make they do not if I remember if you've ever wanted to see a movie not make
any 100% no sense it is that one.
Like it does not make any sense.
It was bothering you.
One is sci-fi one is like slice of life and I'm like they don't intersect at all.
Because it's like there's two actual different movies.
Why did he put two movies in one movie?
Originally it was a box set.
I guess.
It drives me fucking crazy.
It's like called Femalien or something.
Yeah Femalien.
Yeah Femalien Starlight Saga.
It's got the adult star Keira Noir on the cover.
She's like bam looking sexy as fuck.
But in the movie she's like from back when she first started.
So she's changed a bit.
You know they get more attractive when they have more confidence I would say.
I mean you end up on camera enough you have to you know you start realizing what you need
to work on.
Yeah to look better.
You don't want to look worse before you like crack cocaine.
There's been a couple of actors that were like they just kind of went down.
Well I don't know it would be hard to like if like well I don't know.
I don't want to body shame anybody.
I will.
I don't feel that well about doing it to people.
Just tell me the names secretly.
It's not nobody actually I'm just saying I don't want to body shame at all.
Like if.
Fat people like myself we know we're fat.
Okay.
When you roll your arms like you're Rebecca Bishkish you can tell we're fat.
When you got them betas.
I want me a big piece of banana bread.
Your jowls just move.
I'm so fat I can't even tie my shoelaces.
I can't bend over anymore.
I got to wear them slip on.
It's got to be the kind that you slide into too.
And if they move even a little bit I'll fuck with them the whole day I wear sandals.
But I always like to respect people's bodies.
So I never say anything mean.
I'm a fellow fat I can talk about that.
We're good.
But I'm just saying that you can tell the adults.
I guess it's too much of a pervert I am from her early days to her now.
I've seen a hundred all every single one of her scenes.
But now I just know her from a movie.
But you're gonna be doing these more in the future.
Blue Mountain State.
Yeah the whole series.
Little by little like all South Park Blue Mountain State.
I like to make sure I finish everything.
Yeah.
I knew y'all shit.
The last one I did on that one is horrendous.
I got to do the one again that got cut short.
Yeah yeah because we didn't finish that.
What was my favorite line of his?
My name is Yula.
I'm nobody's bitch.
You are mine.
My name is Yula.
Nobody's bitch.
You gently has always had like a decent English or English pronunciation talking in English
and I was sort of to define it.
Alliteration.
Just an English vocabulary.
Yes.
Like he's you understand what he's saying.
You like like Jackie Chan right.
But when he delivered a serviceable English talking I guess it's not the best way to say
that.
I got to build up my vocabulary.
But that line from the one is his greatest line of any movie because he it sounded like
he like he like it felt it.
It felt really like I'm nobody's bitch.
Like I'm nobody's bitch.
I'm like that came out of like an Oscar winning act.
Nobody's bitch.
It came from a true play.
Yeah.
My name is Yula.
I'm nobody's bitch.
Like it just it's like it rolls off with such a good accent for like you.
It doesn't even sound like it's Jet Li.
Yeah.
I'm like man Jet Li you're nobody's bitch.
He's been telling the spirits of people for years.
Because you hear of another movie right.
And like they always have like a more like a shy talking because of you.
It's not it's but like man he delivered that shit.
Like it was fucking from the gut.
Yeah.
And so every once in a while I did like I'm nobody's bitch.
It's like a dog or something.
The dog like fuck you ain't nobody's bitch yo.
I'll be freaked out.
Oh fuck.
So if the homeless person on the corner is like I'm nobody's bitch.
And he's like you are mine.
I'm like oh you know the movie too.
And then he's like I lived it.
And he fucking dragged me to the fucking alley.
It throws me through a portal.
I'm like oh my god.
He is the one.
That's your turn to.
What were you talking about.
Blue Mountain State.
Oh yeah.
Give me a hell.
Give me a yeah.
That's the theme song.
Yeah.
But yeah we'll be checking it out.
Or I'll be next week is another one.
And then probably move to something else.
Yeah.
Come back to you know do it here and there.
Cool.
All right.
Anything else to add before we head on out.
Hey QR Nor.
Can you tell us why those two movies are matched together like that.
I would actually love to know.
Because in a story storyteller perspective it is driving me in fucking sand.
I wake up at night like it's not the same movie.
I would really love to know why.
Hey if anybody knows Knights of Entertainment podcast at gmail.com.
Specifically QR Nor.
I don't know those fucking creeps that always try to hit on foreign stars.
They are real people people.
They don't just want to bang you just cuz.
Come on now.
Just because you see their everything about.
Yeah.
I mean they're not fully fleshed out human beings.
They're you know always be respectful.
All right.
And with that I wouldn't show my booty hole out there.
That's a lot of respect for me.
No one no one wants to see this.
Look at this.
I just fucking break down.
You start crying.
Plus the breakdown on only fans.
With my zero followers.
Only my mom follows me on only fans and that'd be creepy as fuck.
She did just for sympathy.
Oh god that'd be gross.
Well that's that.
Cool.
All right.
We will see you guys on the next one.
Pocket pussy.
Shit's just fucked