Not Roll20, but the other one. Ah, what is it
called? Is it Foundry? I think so. The other
virtual tabletop. The other one is a lot better.
It's animated. Whenever you have an effect on
you, you literally see the animation of whatever
effect is on your character. It keeps up with
everything. This is Baldur's Gate 3. Yeah. Mechanics
on the tabletop. You don't have to do the polygon
reveal with darkness. When you move your character
token, it automatically shows what they can see
and can't see, depending on where they're standing.
There is that. They do have that on Roll20. You
have to pay for it. Felicia had it for a hot
second. She had to pay for it. I had to pay for
it. Did you pay for it? Because I had it for
a second as well, and I used it. uh like five
years ago it was cool but what they have now
on the other one is a lot better okay i've seen
it in action and it just it looks like a video
game it's so cool in order to use it everybody
has to pay for it it's like a 50 but that's it
you have everything i think it's 50 but so you're
paying for the client but the service is free
yeah gotcha that's not bad that's less than a
new game Half as much as a new Nintendo game.
Yeah. Really? The digital copies will be $80.
Fuck off, man. The physical, air quotes, copies
will be $90. But in a lot of cases with those
games, you'll be getting a SD card that is literally
just a digital access code that will let you
download the game. It's not an actual physical
game. So if there is no internet, it's not a
game. Wow. Back to the conversation we were having
before about not actually owning anything. It's
like buying a car and being sent a photo of a
car that you can drive whenever you meet specific
conditions and otherwise go fuck yourself. It's
not yours. Didn't that all start with Netflix
and stuff? Nobody bought DVDs anymore just because
they could watch it on Netflix and then Amazon.
You can buy stuff digitally. Probably the start
because Originally, Netflix was a monopoly, and
so they could have everything they wanted, and
then other companies started popping up and then
suing Netflix for having a monopoly, so then
they had to divide up stuff and stuff like that.
But yeah, yeah, the idea of not having to have
a physical copy to have access to something,
except now it's not consolidated. I mean, do
you guys have access to your Xbox 360 Live games?
Mine's in the closet. I don't know. Yeah. That's
when I first, like, oh, I can't play these games
anymore. 2005? You want to know? I'm going to
cut this. Okay. What's your address? No. Six.
Stop. No, no. I'm going to miss it one of these
days. Nine. Stop it. Three. Two. Done. Chicken
sandwich. There you go. M -O -N. Send them a
mail. Send them a bomb at 6932 chicken sandwich.
Hell yeah. Don't do that. It's not real. You're
going to hurt a family. That lives on Chicken
Sandwich Lane. Drive. Outpost. In Lickamee, Kansas.
Lickamee, Kansas. What happened last time, Cody?
I can't remember. Fuck, man. Me neither. Anyway.
Stop. No. Why are you going to put it on me?
You listened to it yesterday. I didn't listen
to it yesterday. Listened to it this morning.
Liar. Because you're Big Daddy Game Master. Little
Uncle Game Runner. Whatever. Whatever. I mean...
What did happen? I mean... Can any of us even
say? No, okay, so best I can remember. Hey, it's
been a while. Yeah, yeah, it's been a while.
Grimball, we, uh... Scarab was able to run up
and attach Grimball's head to his body to put
him at rest. Yes. The last time y 'all were playing,
you ended up encountering the headless corpse
of Grimball. And after engaging in a fierce but
brief encounter with it, you were able to reattach
his head, putting his body to rest. However,
in the fight, some people were afflicted with
fear. Monet, looking at you. And as fear overcame
you, you immediately turned and sprinted at full
speed down the hallway to the south, running
deeper and deeper into the dungeon. As you fled,
you found yourself in front of an ominous statue
in a round room with graded walls. And from those
graded walls came several ominous whispers. And
before you knew it, you were surrounded by shades.
And these shadows themselves gripped your shadow.
and at your soul and began to pick and pull at
you until eventually one of them wrenched from
you your own shadow and as it popped free from
you it manifested rising up becoming a perfect
shadow mirror image of Monet as you dealt with
the fight up north the rest of the party um finished
up what you were doing and then ran south to
help Monet, but at that time, as you were cleaning
out the rest of the shades, the shadow, realizing
its days were numbered, began to run, fleeing
northeast deeper into the dungeon. Not wanting
to lose your shadow, the rest of you follow suit
and chase it into a large open room with tattered
walls, broken furniture, and from the rubble
emerged several festrogs. As the shadows slinked
into the darkness past these ominous, roving
undead, the rest of the party engaged in a ferocious
combat. And as the dust settled and the last
of them was smote by Rootmoor, you now find yourself
in this rubble -strewn room alone. Yeah, that
was nuts. Three combats in a row. Back to back
to back. We still kicked ass. Who was... Okay,
so everybody after the fight had kind of retreated
back into the same room that held the Dwarven
Library. Yeah. You'd move back southwest, retreating
as the Festerogs sprinted around the corner,
diving at you, until the last one laid slain.
So you're still here in this library room. In
the southeast corner of the room, you now stand
heaving over the freshly slain bodies of these
fastrogs. To the south, there are six dwarven
statues, each in their own noble poses. To the
west is the short, like, five -foot wall that
houses this library with several pillars. What
do you do? Hey, Runeballer! Scarab quietly shouts.
To root more across the way. Scarab's standing
at the entrance to this... Was this the library?
Yeah. Yes. He's going to stand at the entrance
to it. Come, give me a hand! Sorry, Monet, I
only got one. We need to bury this guy! We gotta
bury this guy! Scarab and Tricky move towards
the once -headless Nick. Rootmore stands up after
sitting on the ground trying to catch his breath.
Hurry up, lazy! Lazy! Okay! I can help. Oh, yeah,
Monet's coming. She can help. Monet's a lot of
help. Monet starts punching the ground. Coming.
Where are we going to bury? Are they... Scarab!
What a crap! Crap! My quadriceps! Rootmore's
piece is slowly crawling across the wall. Stop
narrating! I have a crap! The people don't know.
The people don't know. Go tell them what happened!
The show's over. We're not going to tell you
what happened. Is there even anywhere to bury
him? Is there sarcophagus? Is there like a...
We need to find where his body was taken from.
I would presume. No, he was alive when he came
down here. Okay. He was with a big bad wizard
boy. Looking over the corpse as it is, where
you left it, even though the severed head of
Grimball was most definitely undead, as it was
talking to you, it doesn't look like it was in
an advanced state of decay. The room where we
got his head from was just a storage room? Correct.
That was the room to the west that had the...
The monk -like figure in rows with the mouth
sewn shut. Yeah. And he had Grimball's head in
a cage. Well, F5 over here where we fought those
ghastlies, they came out of holes, right? They
came from behind and beneath rubble. Put them
under a pile of rocks. Yeah, I mean, this isn't
something we necessarily have to do immediately.
And it's not like he's... going anywhere yeah
and also with uh we did a knowledge check for
shades i believe uh if they were to resurrect
it's within one to four like a d4 days something
like that does root more know this yes for for
what now like shades or poltergeists or whatever
it's like when they die they have like a d4 days
that they can respond if they haven't Then put
to rest. Rune, are you okay? You been smoking
flay leaf? You sound crazy, man. What do you
mean? He's over here talking about different
letters in the alphabet in combination with numbers.
You need to be more religious, Scarab. Well,
that's why I'm saying we need to bury this guy
now. Later. It's fine. Later. I will say, as
you continue to bicker over the dead body of
this slain dwarf, there... Are a number of possessions
on him. Yeah, because we haven't searched any
of these rooms. His head spins around, spits
out pea soup. Fuck me. Peas out, spit soup. Peas
out, spit soup. What a t -shirt that says that.
Peas out, spit soup. Ew. Yeah, let's strip it.
Let's strip it. Okay. Grimballs. Rudimentary
metal armor is pretty ramshackle and in poor
shape. But beneath that, there is a very nice
chain shirt. You can also see, still at the hip,
a plus one striking rapier. Wow. Striking. That's
another die? Yeah. Correct. And then in the pouches
around his belt, you're able to find a magnifying
glass. some drafting papers a set of infiltrators
thieves tools 47 gold pieces and a skeleton key
Help me up, please help me back out of this bitch.
We'd be stuck here forever Non -derogatory. Huh?
Whatever I said, non -derogatory. Whatever I
said, don't be offended. I didn't mean it. Lizard
brain. Sorry. Well, Felicia, while you're writing
that down on the list, I do have something to
say. In other words, write that down. Panic,
panic, panic, panic, panic. Click, click, click.
I'm sorry. Well, let me say this first, then
Cody can repeat the list. But I was doing more
shit that I don't have time for. I was trying
to look for little clips to put shorts up. Sorry
about paying your son. Pay your son to do it.
We were talking about how we don't have a repair
kit. That's why Rootmore can't use his shield.
I was listening to episode 24 looking for funny
clips and whatever to put on YouTube and I found
that we bought a repair kit. A likely story.
It wasn't on your character sheet. Hey, you want
me to find it? Is it on your character sheet?
No, it might be on the list, but we did buy it.
Is it on the list? Hold on. No, shut up. We're
consulting this. An hour and five minutes and
20 seconds on episode 24. Oh, nerd. Oh, he has
receipts. I can pull it up if you want me to.
No, I believe you. Okay. I believed you from
the get -go. I just like rising your berries.
All right. I'm sending that for the listener,
too. I want to look it up. But we did buy a repair
kit, so we can repair our stuff. No, not that,
Rudmore. Yeah, but do you have the raw materials
needed to fix them with said repair kit? Do you
have the amount of plus one iron alloy to fix
your shield? Do you have three fairy needles?
How do you search for things? With the bar. No,
keep wiggling. It helps. Anybody here have an
arcana? I do! Yes, I would like to roll as well.
Yeah, give a check on that key. I don't. Yes,
I would like to roll. You do not need raw materials,
Cody. I don't know. I was just giving you shit.
I don't even keep track of... of Scarab's ammo.
He's doing that. He's being a good boy about
it. But I'm not being religious on it. I'm reloading
just in case. Well, one day we will play a very
gritty campaign where you're like, oh, we're
going to take a long rest. And we're like, do
you have enough water? That's part of my long
rest is I've gone down 30. I've got 30 ammo right
now. That's a couple fights. But every time you
do a rest, you can craft some in the morning
as part of your daily prep. I can get 10. I would
like a gritty. playthrough like one of these
days survival we're gonna do my next i'll say
after this i've been enjoying this but i would
like to do a homebrew again and i do want to
do like a real gritty survival game yes that'd
be cool that'd be the old school kind of adventure
where it's like there's not a necessarily an
overarching plot like that to develop as we go
there's not necessarily bbg it's just i'm gonna
play a real deal fresh starting out adventurers
trying to make a name for themselves type of
campaign Just real deal make -believe? Just real
deal make -believe. Real nitty -gritty fakey
witty. Hey! Oh, oh, oh. Nice to be back, everybody.
That's going to be a 30 with a natural 20 on
the dollar. Um, I got... I got an 11. Yes, finally!
Always when I'm doing stuff like this. It's still
a really good one. Fuck yeah. Freak yeah. Sorry,
everyone. Monet. It's a key. Thanks. You think
it opens something. Nice. Scarab. Pretty cool.
What you know is upon looking at it, it's a skeleton
key. This has a skeleton on it. The key can be
used in place of a thieves toolkit whenever you
attempt to pick a lock and it gives you a plus
one bonus to that thievery check. Okay. If...
The skeleton key becomes broken due to a critical
failure on the check. It works as a normal thieves
toolkit and loses its benefits until it's repaired.
So you can still use it to pick locks. Will it
break if you use it as a broken? You know what
I mean? Yeah, there might be a crit fail on the
thieves tools itself, but basically it's a downgrade.
That's cool. That's cool. The really nice thing
about it and the thing that makes it so magical
is that once per day you can activate to loosen
a lock. And the key effectively casts breach
on the lock that you're trying to pick, which
is the equivalent of casting a second level knock
spell. Wow. Yes, so it gives you a once per day
you can cast knock at level two for two actions.
It gives you a plus four status bonus to try
to open a target door, lock, or container with
an athletics or thievery check. So yeah, as it
is right now, The Skeleton Key still works like
a Thieves Toolkit. Whenever you pick a lock,
it gives you an automatic plus one to that roll.
And then as long as you don't critically fail
the lock, it stays fine. It's not broken. And
once per day, you can give yourself a plus four
on top of that plus one for a total of plus five
to your check in order to breach the lock that
you're trying to pick. And again, that can also
be used on Athletics checks in order to... An
athletics or a thievery check. So what's y 'all's...
My thievery is like 10. Negative 3. Okay. Oh,
thievery? Yeah, or athletics. My athletics is
6, but thievery 10. My athletics is... Well...
Plus 7 athletics. Am I still enfeebled? I'm fatigued.
Oh, yeah. I'm fatigued as well. You are from
the shadows. So it would be more. So my athletics
is 10 right now. Oh. Well, I guess our thievery
and athletics, it's like, what, 11 or 12? 11.
My thievery is four. I'll hold on to it. Yeah.
I guess I'll hold on to it. I guess I'll take
the magic. Later, losers. I'm going to lock every
door behind me. Who's using that rapier? I mean
you guys own it you guys need to use one striking
man. I don't use weapons Unless I want to put
the postman striking on my damn fist, but I don't
even use my fist It could I mean with a striking
it could be or it would be plus one striking
Two rooms on my my fist is already plus one.
It essentially has both a proficiency and a striking
room So if I got it would be a would it be a
plus two, but you have to get a plus two You
need a greater proficiency room Yeah, so my fist
is already possible. Scarab, you should take
it. It's a good melee weapon, just in case. And
I believe it's like Agile and Finesse, which
probably coincides with your... Uses your dex
modifier instead. Okay, we'll see, because my...
Plus you'd be a musketeer. My strength is real
bad. If it's... I believe if it's Finesse, you
use your... Agility modifier for damage, not
strength. Dummy Rootmore was like, oh, here's
this rapier, and Scarab got it, and he was like,
oh, upon further inspection, this is actually
a rapier pistol. Oh. A rapier pistol that exists
within the game. Oh, wow. No. No. Ah, come on,
man. Monet, why are you against us? Huh? I didn't
say anything. The rapier archetype has the deadly
D8 feat. So when you crit, it does a D8 extra.
It has disarm, and it has the finesse trait,
which lets you use your dex instead of your strength
modifier on attack rolls using the weapon. You
still calculate damage using the strength. Yeah.
So it's dex to hit, strength for damage. Which
I mean, you're rolling two damage die, and if
you crit, you're rolling three damage die. Plus
a 1d8. Yeah. Because of the deadly. I mean, yeah.
It would be two, and then if you crit... I mean,
we double damage, so essentially you'd be doing
four D8 plus a D8 deadly. Yes, yes. So you'd
be five D8 damage. No, no, sorry. It's only D6.
For me, it says two D6 plus one D8. Yes, that's
the deadly. Nothing compared to my gun, but it's
not ammo. What if you break your gun? Doesn't
hurt to have it on your waist in case something
happens. It's better than the... than the spike
chain. Especially with tricky charging and attacking
that you're charging straight. If you don't have
your gun reloaded, just stab somebody as you're
running by them. It is about as good a weapon
as he could get. If only it was a pistol. I don't
know. I wish my flying talon was a gun. There
literally is a rapier pistol. That's what I was
saying. That's funny. I thought you were about
to tell me. There is literally a gun on a chain,
and you swing it around, and when you pull the
chain back, it pulls the trigger, and you're
just flinging it around your head. You don't
know where it's going to fire. It's a 20D10,
but you don't know where it's going. What's his
face in soul caliber? Cervantes. Go on. I do
have dex also, but... Well, do you want it? I
only have one hand. A rapier is a one -handed
weapon. Yeah, but what about for casting? Then
I can't cast unless I just drop my weapon. Verbal
components. Just don't do somatic spells. Free
action drop. Matt's right. Spend one action to
pick it back up on your next turn. Move attack.
Anyway. Anyway. Now that you've finished looking
over the body. The last thing I'll say is that
the set of drafting papers are mostly blank papers
that you can use for any notes or annotations
that you want to make. One of them, the one on
the top, seems to be a writ of receipt. It is
a note for hire. Let me look over this. What
do you say? Reading it over, it is a notice for
hire. It seems to be a receipt for adventure.
in order to escort a one Drasmorg. Hey, it's
Drasmorg. Drasmorg, baby. To Drosgar's Crag to
explore the crucible paid in advance a sum of
50 gold minus expenses to a total of 47 gold
pieces. We're taking this guy's payday. That's
what he gets for dying. And I didn't hire him.
Clearly you're mercenary. Interesting. Any cool
books in here? The board starts fumbling through
all the books. Roll me a perception check. Is
it a strength check? That's okay. That's okay
with you. Fuck. Sixteen. It's a two on the die.
How about... How about this instead? How about
25? Hell yeah. Looking for books. Rumor just
starts walking out of the room. Just glances
at some books. Where are all the books? Books.
Books. Books. Hey, who said that? 16's pretty
good for a level 1. I think a level 1 character
knows how to look to a library, so it's fine.
We'll find something cool. Hey, guys, you hear
that man mocking me? Mocking me? Mocking me?
I'm going to kick your ass. You all right? You
all right? Your ass. Makes me think of Jim Carrey,
The Grinch, where he's in the cave and he's yelling
at himself and he's getting the echo back and
he's like, I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. You're
an idiot. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. No,
he says, I'm an idiot. And the echo comes back
with, you're an idiot. Yes. Yeah. Love you, Jim
Carrey. You know, I never saw that movie. No,
you're fine. I do want to see it because I love
Jim Carrey. Clearly. It's decent. It's okay.
It's nothing to write home about. It makes me
feel weird. It's too long. Yeah. It feels too
long to me. It kind of feels like Polar Express.
I like it more than Polar Express. I never really
liked, I mean, I'll get a bunch of hate from
this, but I never really liked all the old Christmas.
So I never really had an interest in it. My issue
with the Jim Carrey one is because I like that
cartoon so dang much. It was perfect length.
It just got things down. I didn't understand.
It was one of those things like, why are you
making this live action? It was like one of the
first of those for me. Why are you doing that?
I mean, I know Jim Carrey is a cartoon, but everybody
else isn't. Yeah. He is a living cartoon. I'd
love to watch him play every character of something.
It'd be fantastic. And he'd do a good job at
it, too. Man, that'd be cool. Imagine him live
-action being Goku. I want to see how big he
can make his mouth. And his eyebrows, man. Yeah,
I love Jim Carrey. Oh my god, I want to see an
AI image of Jim Carrey live -action Goku. That'd
be great. No, not the thumbnail. Not the thumbnail.
I'll just render it for you. Not the thumbnail.
Now you're just giving me ideas, Matthew. That
has nothing to do with anything. I know. It's
not like we've never done that before. But just
then, inside of a book. Like Burger Town or whatever.
Oh, my God. That's awesome. That's one of my
favorite episodes. Okay. What were your scores
again for perception? Searching the books. 16.
25. 16 and 25. I'm helping. I help Rootmore search
for books. 37. No. We helped. How long do y 'all
want to spend here looking? Scarab's done. He's
firing bullets. If Scarab's done... Is this like
a cursory look, or is this a digging through
books and really reading a couple here and there?
Are we talking like an hour? I'm talking walking
around and looking at the spines for like 10
minutes. But I will say... Scarab's taking a
rest to get stamina back. I have one resolve
left, and I'm at 16 HP. Yeah, Rumor doesn't have
any resolve. Eesh. I'm doing it anyway. Yes,
you're going to take 10 minutes to do that. You're
also going to take 10 minutes to fix Rootmore's
shield with this repair kit that we have. Get
this off of me. What are you doing? He's going
to need a crafting check for that. Yes. So guaranteed
20 minutes. Okay. We'll see. We'll just say 20.
Spend a good 20 looking around. All right, guys,
I'm good to go. And you're going to use a resolve
as well, right? Scarab, go ahead and give me
that. It's still 20 because you do it at the
same time. Yeah, give me that repair check right
now, and we'll get that out of the way. I'm going
to use my episode PP. I believe you're looking
for a DC 15 minimum for repair, correct? 15 minimum?
If you get a critical, then you get extra D8s
of repair on the item. I'd like to heal as much
as possible. Can I do a normal crafting check
if it's not broken? I believe it is just a heal
check, but for objects. So it's the standard
DC 15, but you can bump the DC up an additional
5 in order to up the number of die you get to
repair. Could be pulling this out of my ass,
but I think it works the same. The DC is whatever
the DC is to craft the item. You want to use
your PP to have me roll twice? Tell you what,
just go ahead and give me whatever your total
is, and then we'll work it out for there. No
reason to grind to a halt on it. Yeah. Okay.
19. 19. Okay. Yeah, that's enough to repair the
shield, at least to a serviceable amount. Go
ahead and put the shield as repaired and put
it... Five hit points plus an additional five
per proficiency rank, so it's going to be 10
hit points. Okay, yeah, 10 HP. Neat. Okay, so
that puts it... And that kills the repair kit?
What, like three -fourths of the way? Yeah, it's
16 out of 20, and no, it does not kill the repair
kit. Okay, so you always have the repair kit.
Beautiful, because that's exactly where I wanted
it to end up based on a 19, so that works. Okay,
Monet, you got your hand up? Felicia has her
hand up, yes. No, I have a question. I have a
question. Sort of hitting pillars. That negative
17 stamina for Monet and Rootmoor. If I take
a breather. Yes, your max is reduced by 17. Same
for you, Rootmoor. Jokes on you, I have no resolve
to use. Beautiful, raw HP. That's what I love
to see. As for you, searching through the books,
Monet, and Rootmoor, Rootmoor, as you're going
through one of the books that you happen to see
that kind of maybe draws your ire for a moment,
just says, The Shape of the World According to
Droskar. And as you kind of leaf through it,
maybe with a sneer on your face, you see many...
Like religious quotes proselytizing and claiming
the greatness of Droskar, how one should toil
forever in order to attain greatness, and that
victory is won through hardship and suffering.
And as you're leafing through this old dusty
tome, a sheet falls out and flutters to the floor.
Mark kicks it and continues reading the book.
Yeah, it's just a lot more of this stuff that
makes you really mad. And so before long, you're
red in the face and you put the book back and
you move on. Scarab grabs the fucking piece of
paper, man. Colleen. What do you say? He says
to the paper. Scarab, the sheet that you picked
up has a series of what look like dwarven runes
on them. Ew. Colleen. Okay, so a sheet of paper.
Witchcraft, I swear. Save yourself time. Does
anybody... He speaks Dwarven. That's why I said
ew. Then you can read it. What you read is, in
essence, an incantation. It says, Blessed are
those who move in the way of Droskar. Blessed
are those who shape the world to his order. Blessed
are those who toil until death. Blessed are those
who continue beyond and toil forever on. It is
a scroll of shaped stone. Oh, wow. I was correct
when I said ew. It wants to work forever. Shaped
stone. Monet? Yeah, mm -hmm. Did you hear what
I said about the nasty dwarven scroll? Yep. Do
you want it? Yep. Yeah. I don't think I, well,
I don't remember Pathfinder. You need to know
that class. Yeah, so that's not me. This ain't
me, bro. Or you'd have to have trick magic device.
Yeah. Which would be awesome. I'd love that for
Scarab, but I'm good. We're good. Shape stone.
Fourth level spell. Scroll. Nice. Probably make
us a ladder. I'm very glad I don't have to read
a piece of paper every time I want to fire a
bullet. It is on both the arcane and the primal
spell list. I do primal. Okay, so that is something
you could use. I do not, so I can't use it. I
knew who I was giving it to. Monet, as you're
going through books, you have a similar experience.
It seems like there are quite a few books. as
you're going through with your library in mind.
And most of them seem to be of like a more historical
connotation than a religious one. You see a book
labeled The Oncoming Horde, The Dreadmaw of the
Whispering Tyrant. And as you're kind of like
going through these, it seems like all of the
books around you are of relatively good shape
considering their age. You imagine that if you
had the ability to, that this would make a fantastic
private library for somebody, and could be worth
a decent amount of money should you find yourselves
in a position in which you could move said number
of books at some point. But beyond that, as you're
kind of going through all of them, you find one
of the newer books, it seems, maybe, you know,
newer being a relative term, still an old book,
you find yet another tome dedicated to Droskar.
This one in a heavy metallic casing for its binding.
And as you read through this one, it speaks from
a solemn forlorn perspective in which the writer,
the author, denotes his lamentations at the events
of the rending. It's a... First person perspective
of an individual lamenting the loss of Torag's
crag. The feeling of betrayal after taking on
Torag's sacred mantle in order to take in the
seal used to hide away the whispering tyrant.
And then feeling betrayed as the crucible soon
became engulfed in magma at the erupting of the
rendering. and the slow descent to feel that
now that their hearts had been wrenched open,
betrayed by the god they worshipped, how that
this new god, Droskar, would then offer to seal
the wound, and that if they should toil hard
enough, that they would be protected and rewarded.
And within this book, you find another scroll.
You don't read dwarven. I found a scroll. Can
you read this? Give it to me. Let me see. Give
it to me. Let me see. You want to roll for it?
Yeah. What is it? Flat roll? I'll add my thievery.
Natural 20. With my thievery is a 17. You have
a minus 3 to thievery? Yeah. Well, I got an 18,
so... But did I succeed? I mean, I got it. 17
against your DC. Reflex DC. We'll call it Reflex
DC. My Reflex DC. Making up games here. My Reflex
DC. That would be my Reflex. I'm the one that
makes up games. Reflex plus 10. 23. Okay, yeah,
you got it. Stop that! Quit it! What's it say?
This one itself seems to be a short poem written
professing the... It's kind of sad reading it,
but it's the idea that the betrayal caused by
one that you loved and revered has led you into
the bosom of another who, even though they treat
you callously, at least offer you protection
so that you'll never have to face the same cataclysm
you once faced. And it itself is a scroll of
mountains resilience. Is that also primal? Yes,
here. It is in the arcane and primal tree as
well. Wow. Mountains and molehills, they're all
yours. Hey! Look, I'm not going to tell you how
to use your new toys, but these could help us
get out of here. It's essentially a stone skin,
but the Pathfinder equivalent. So the target
skin hardens like the stone of a mountain face,
gaining resistance 5 to physical damage except
against adamantine. Each time the target is hit
by a bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing attack,
mountain's resilience duration decreases by 1
minute. It lasts for 20 minutes by default. I
wonder if he used these to get here. Or if he
was... They must have known everything was broken.
Speaking of broken, Scarab. He hands you his
shield again. Can you clean this up a little
bit? Has it been long enough? Only 10 more minutes.
Oh man, you're pushing your luck. 29! Wow. That'll
be critical. Oh, it is. Oh, would it? And while
you guys were getting your stamina back, Rootmoor
did treat wounds on himself. Oh, great. Well,
you guys are solving my problems. I solved my
problems. Great, man. Awesome. Restore 10 hit
points to the item, plus an additional 10 pinpoint
pimple. 20 points. There you go. More than enough.
Thank you. We'll give it back. I repaired it
so good you broke it. Scratches it a little bit.
Pees on it. I'm bored! What's your problem, Monet?
You can't be bored standing there hitting walls.
I'm reading books. I'm having a fine time. If
I could, I'd make this my private library. There's
a lot of books in here and it's probably worth
a good amount of money if we could take them
all. I'll have to find a way out first. Rootmoor
is going to go south and look at these statues.
What's going on with these statues? Don't touch
that one you're about to touch! Oops. Oh! Just
a whole palm on it. So we're not going to rest.
You guys laughed at me when I tried to lay on
the ground. I would like to rest. Where are we
going to rest? Right here with the books. Start
lighting all the books on fire to make a nice
pile of fluffy ash. No! Kerosene and a Bic lighter.
I mean, we may be able to barricade this room
on the left where we found Grimble's head. Yeah.
Bro, if we wake up and he's out here and he's
throwing his head across the room and he's all
pissed off again. I was also going to say, we've
done this before and we got punished. Yeah. Let's
keep walking. Rumor dies and Mom's got a second.
We rest and get punished. but also regain all
of our resolve and hit points, or we continue
on and still get punished because we're in a
dungeon and die. So that's kind of like... Less
of a punishment and more of a trade. Yeah, it's
just like... There's a point where you have to
stop thinking about it as somebody doing you
wrong because you chose something and a point
of being like, well, this is what happens when
we do this. We're totally awesome and no one
ever dies! I'm down. I'm down. Does a quick cross
across his chest. Rest in peace, all the people
who died before this. I think if we continue
on, like, we can continue on, but we need to
rest soon. I'm about half on my HP and my stamina.
I'm pretty sleepy, too. Wearing a full shield.
Let me do some treat wounds on you. Treat the
wound days. Ritmore, stop it. We're going to
do a DC 20. Stinky sausage fingers just fucking
poking and prodding. So I got the DC 20, so it's
2d8 plus 10 coming to you, Monet. Let me have
a look at you. Let me have a look at you. 21
hit points back to you, Monet. Pretty smart.
That'll do. That'll do. Do me. What about Scarab?
You want some Scarab? Give me 13. You need 13?
Here comes a medicine check. Another 10 minutes.
Throws dirt at him. That's a crit. So we're getting
48 plus 20. That's good enough. Don't even...
18. 24. 26. As he's being sutured up, Scarab
throws himself out of the way and pulls in Tricky.
31. Thanks for the extra hitbox. Now for Tricky.
Ah, thank you. Ten more minutes. Don't hurt my
boar. As you spent six hours here. No, it's been
about an hour and ten. You idiot! We have to
sleep! Well, he's doing some of this while y
'all are doing other stuff, so realistically,
it's been about 50 minutes. Come on, man. 2d8
of damage. Tricky, you take five points of damage.
Whoop sorry I can't continue treating until an
hour. Oh, I slipped damn it scarab. I'm a doctor
not a butcher Get the knife out of your hand
He's got a knife. I'm sorry Tricky. You have
to go to bed. You have to sleep now shh shh shh
shh shh stabs Stoink I don't like stoinks Yeah,
I imagine we're going to spend time to get this
room ready to secure it. And then after an hour,
I'd like to treat wounds on Tricky again. Okay.
So in the brief moment that you're kind of passing
by the statues before you realize that your party
is dying around you and you have responsibilities,
you kind of just basically glean that each of
these six statues on the southern part of this
library room are each depicting a dwarven commander.
From the brief bit that you're able to gather,
again, while you hurriedly read underneath them,
it's a plaque underneath each statue that seems
to speak on each commander's specific experience
within the Shining Crusade. Most of them speak
about the horrific actions taken by the Whispering
Tyrant and the valorous ways in which each of
these commanders rose to fight against them.
But nothing beyond that. So these aren't all
dwarves. They're all different. These six are
all dwarves. Oh, okay. These are the guys...
Go ahead and give me a... Do you have a history
check of some kind? You know history, don't you?
Society? Society is plus zero. I'll let you do...
Give me that! Lore Underworld? Go ahead, Warfare.
Give me Warfare checks. Scarab gets a 25 on Society.
Okay. Can I do Underworld? And give yourself
a plus one. Unless Rumor gets it. For being a
dwarf. 17. Okay. And Scarab, you got a what?
25. Get out of the way, Rumor. All right. So
the two of you, again, we're being very generous
here because you're like looking at them and
then, oh, I got to go treat the wounds. I got
to fix the pig. But also coming back and looking
at it. And while you're doing that, Scarab's
looking at it. So both of you are kind of putting
this together. Throughout what you know root
more as a dwarf and scarab what you know as a
traveling merchant You're kind of piecing these
things together scarab scarab in some way. I
was trying to think of like how would he express
this he's Scarab spending time with root more
and spending time here in this this dungeon for
lack of my brain He's like Dwarves really been
around for a long time, huh? I've seen so many
different Decades, centuries. Long time, yes.
The reason Scarab would know so much about dwarves
is that he spent time in a very, very deep and
ancient cave. And he didn't quite learn a language
from them because it was very old runes. But
through time, he's just started to pick up stuff.
He's learned some slang. Yeah, from the dwarven
runes that you explored that led you to making
your gun. So he does know a lot of... It's more...
It'd be less about religious stuff. A lot of
that would be hard for him to read, but when
it comes to crafting... A lot of what you're
reading here is not religious in connotation.
It's mostly historical. And between the two of
you kind of like pitching back like, oh, I've
read about that, or oh, I know about this, my
parents told me about this, or so on and so forth,
the two of you are able to piece together that
these six are just a small portion of the...
Dwarven commanders. 18, in fact, Rootmoor, you
recall. 18 dwarven commanders that were selected,
handpicked by the dwarves as a whole, a communal
choice to lead the dwarven representation as
the assault against the Whispering Tyrant. And
so from these... It sounds like Lord of the Rings!
From these placards, you're able to glean that
these six stories, these accounts are... sort
of a glorification of the reasons of each of
these prominent six individuals for why they
chose to do what they did in order to stop the
Whispering Tyrant. And from that you also glean
that each of them is kind of like hinting at
or praising those who remain behind them, those
who may have inhabited this place, for guarding
something referred to multiple times as the lesser
seal. This is the seal that fucking homeboy is
trying to open up. They want to release him.
That is so stupid. This is awful. Why are we
just walking into this? Just stop it, Scarab.
Just stop it. No, I'm sorry. Not us. We're trying
to help, you know? Just the three of us are trying
to help on accident, I guess. But why would they
want to bring destruction upon everything? They
can't live if it's all death. That crown on his
head is messing with him. He's not thinking straight.
I don't know the guy. But I bet you it's that
crown on his head. I'm rolling another medicine
for Tricky. We'll say an hour went by as we're...
Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and... So, hold on.
You can go ahead and roll it before you tell
me the result. What's the plan with this room?
Is the idea to just kind of try to fortify the
door and barricade it, maybe take stuff from
outside in? Is there, like, are there... Did
you say there are crates in there and stuff?
That room... There's nothing in there. Hold,
please. I thought there was something. Like,
if we could make a door jammer, that'd be nice.
Something that would make noise. Even putting
crates in front of a door to make noise. This
room itself, pretty plain. Barren. Tool shed.
There's pretty much nothing in here. The small
offshoot of it in relation to the library makes
you think that at one point it may have been
like an administrative office at some point,
but any furniture that would have been in here
has been shattered and broken down. There's no
storage or crates or barrels or anything like
that, just broken pieces of lumber in a corner
in an otherwise empty room. We can use bookshelves
to fortify the door. 19 to tricky. Nice. Full?
We're full. We're stuffed. Thanks, Rootmore.
You're welcome. Love you. I love you, too. Louder,
Simone Aiken here. Shh. It loves me. Oh, come
on, baby. And we sleep. Oh, good morning, everyone.
Oh, baby, I don't know. Drinking right away,
Rootmore, huh? It's a LaCroix. Yeah, huh? It's
a LaCroix. Why are you swaying so hard? Because
I had a thousand beers before this. What are
you, a LaCroix boy? What are you trying to say?
Root beer, are we sleeping? Root beer. Yes, good
night. Oh, good morning. No, say something nice
to me before you go to sleep. Good night's not
good enough. Mona, get in here. Golly. We're
blocking the door. Three, two. I mean, Mona's
been helping. All the way out there, huh? She's
grabbing. With your laser pointer? I'm the note
taker, all right? Sometimes I'm a little lost
on the map because I'm looking at the fucking
notes, all right? I want this fatigue to go away.
Help me, I'm better than this. Help! Help, Rootmoor,
help! Quiet! Try to sleep. Ah, good morning!
Alright, so yeah, you guys are able to fortify
that room to blockade the door as best you can.
You know that it opens inward, as you had opened
it that way previously. And so you're able to
barricade it with... bookshelves or other things
you were able to salvage in order to form a temporary
safe space. Even better, we can throw shit in
front of it while we're inside. Is there anything
y 'all want to do while you're in here aside
from rest? Make bullets after I'm done resting.
Just want to rest. Want to dig through the walls
to find gunpowder. Alright, then as you find
yourselves a big bag of gunpowder Overcome by
the weariness of the travels you've endured so
far, you barricade yourselves in this room, and
in the quiet, damp dark, you lay down to rest.
Can we take shifts? Or no? Yeah, we can take
shifts. I don't see why not. I was scared I was
falling asleep first. He whispers to himself,
Queen Mother, please don't let that man stand
up again. I'm only able to take the first waltz.
Okay. Please, no zombies or ghosts, please. And
as you sleep for a few hours, or rather, Monet,
as you sit up in the dark, gazing into the black
and white of this empty room. It was pitch black,
and you're just staring. I mean, y 'all didn't
build a fire, so I'm going with ambiance here,
which there is none, aside from the... slow and
quiet shuffling and echoing and other cave noises
you hear from beyond the door in front of you.
Nothing happens. Yeah, I don't have any candles.
We never learned about fire because we all just
see in the dark. I do have a torch. I'm just
a little dragon boy who worships dragons. I don't
know nothing about no fire. Never seen it. Doesn't
exist as far as I'm concerned. My dragon shot
ice. For Monet's first watch, she's just like
this. Against the barricade. Sleeping? No. Leaning
her head on her crossed arms on the door. Feet
up, drool out. No, she's standing against it
with her arms on it so she can hear and feel
if anyone's messing with their barricade. She's
trying to hear through her palms. Me too. The
hours seem to drag by. But nothing happens. Monet
just keeps screaming, I'm bored! Waking us up.
Eventually you shuffle your way over to Rootmoor,
who's sleeping on the stone floor, his head lulled
off to the side. You kick him awake. I was gonna
go third! You couldn't wake up Scarab. What were
you dreaming about, Rootmoor? So who's next?
Skarab. I don't want to be middle shift. Yeah,
we'll roll. Let's roll. Being middle shift sucks.
What kind of... I'm not speaking to all the times
he had to stay up late night and watch for enemies.
He hated getting stuck in the middle. Yeah, it
sucked. What kind of check is this? I just rolled
a flat nine. Oh, I'm going to roll a deception
check. What are you lying about? So you're going
to trick him into going second? Yeah. I feel
like Monet just walks up and just kicking both
of them inside. Oh, so it should be a fortitude
to see who wakes up? Well, if he's trying to
do deception, it should be a perception against
deception. I don't even know what I'm lying about.
27. Oh, you beat me. I rolled a 9. Well, what's
your perception? I mean, wouldn't it be against
Monet's perception? He's not tricking you. That
would be funny. 23. 9 plus 14. You're kicking
both of them and Scarab Figs being asleep better.
No, Scarab leaps his arm. No, Rootmoor, don't
you remember? You two were going to do it tonight.
I'm next time. Okay. You're going to do it after
Rootmoor. Your third watch. Your third watch.
So we can get our full rest. Rootmoor does need
full rest. Yes, I do. I get cranky. All right,
Rootmoor, so now you're awake. Did I create your
DC? No. Okay. And Monet begins to drift off into
sleep. And now you're the one alone. Monet puts
in her earplugs. Which I do have. Roll me a perception
check. 14 plus 17. 31. 31. Very good. Thank you.
All right. From where you are. How do you see
yourself doing watch right now? He's sitting
on his butt with his back against all the crap
that's against the door. Against the barricade?
Perfect. Okay, so as you're sitting there in
the darkness, there's almost that suffocating
silence, right? Where your ears are straining
to listen to nothing, so you're kind of just
getting the... It sounds like tinnitus. Almost.
It's so quiet. It's almost like tinnitus meets
you can hear your own heartbeat. And you're just
sitting there in the dark and you're listening.
And every once in a while you kind of hear the
faintest little just like... It's hard to know
if that's just something shuffling beyond the
door or a rat skittering through the darkness.
It's very faint. And it doesn't seem to be approaching
the door in any way. But as you're sitting there,
you kind of try to hone in on your sounds. There's
nothing else to pay attention to. And you slowly
begin to hear this subtle like... It kind of
fades away for a minute. But now you're on edge
and you're listening a bit more and you can also
hear subtly in the background just a... No! No!
And as you sit, for what feels like an eternity,
nothing happens. Not so much as a bump or a scuffle
against the door, and now your watch is over.
Yuck. Yeah, so Scarab... Scarab. So Rootmoor
rolls over and... shake Scarab. Doesn't stand
up. He just, from his sitting position, lays
on his side, rolls like a hot dog across the
floor. Yes, yes. Pokes Scarab in the face. He's
laying down next to Scarab, just watching him
until his eyes open. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Scarab!
Scarab! This depends. Let me ask God a question
real quick. Do I get any of my stuff back by
this point? Yes. You will have gotten a full
rest by this point. You will have gotten a full
rest at this point. Do I need to... You'll have
time fatigue is gone the fatigue disc. It's gone.
It's down one if you were only at one. It's gone.
I was at one Okay, it is gone You'll have a chance
to do your ammo later or rather you could now
that you're awake be spending your time making
ammo If you'd like I said stop it rude more just
starts to get through his bag making bullets
now Rick Rick is out there here truck Yeah, people
suck in this neighborhood Rick Rick is out there
You remember Rick? Creepy little guy. Yeah, I
mean, I don't want to let him in. I'm just letting
you know he's out. I heard him. You woke me up
for that? Yeah. It's your turn. I'm kidding.
Rude Moore slaps him on the... Rude Moore falls
asleep immediately. Rude Moore's already asleep.
Just breathing in your face. We're in here. We're
behind the door. It's your turn to watch. So
how does, how do you, what's your deal look like?
I know it's your turn to watch, but you also,
you got bullets to make. How do you want to play
this out? I mean, I'm going to be doing watch
for a while, so I could. Like a fucking zombie
movie. Scarab's going to cut his watch in half
with making bullets. So he's going to be against
the door. He's going to have an ear to the door.
And he's like side -eyeing while he's packing
these bullets into casings. I like that. And
his chest is like pumping because he's hearing
this undeath outside. Yeah. I will say, like,
as you're listening, it's... And it's black and
white, so it's like Night of the Living Dead.
There's a... It's such a grating feeling, because
it's like you're straining to listen, and it's
almost like you can hear something. There's something.
It's fumbling some black powder. But it's not
loud enough to be like, there's a problem. It's
just there's something on the edge of your hearing.
Again, like you hear every once in a while, the
faint, just like this. of like something skittering
by or the faint something where it's like wait
no it's nothing it couldn't have been no it's
not it's not enough but the whole time down at
the crack of the door uh just in case like a
shadow might come in don't give him the crack
of the door we buried it yeah you buried it don't
give me nothing i was already thinking it was
like well hold on there's shit in front of the
door yeah rumor cocks this whole thing i'm the
fair one here sorry my fears are just getting
in the way Wait, who am I talking to? But I imagine
that trying to do what you normally do every
morning. Now, normally, you would have, you know,
you'd be in, like, an inn. He's whistling. And
you'd have your full setup. You'd be, like, you
know, having a good time. You'd be, like, yeah,
making my bullets. And then now you're in this
bullet gooning. And now you're in this completely
different environment. No work table. It's just
working off the stuff in your pouches. And you're
in the dark. And you're just trying to. Do what
you need to do and keep watch. I imagine there's
like a franticness to it almost where it's like,
if I fuck this up, this thing explodes in my
gun, but also, what the fuck was that? What was
that? It's nothing. It's okay. Scarab could not
get Tricky up at all. Tricky is just like, nah,
dog. I jumped down a hole earlier. I'm sleepy.
That fool is snoring louder than anyone else.
This is a 14 -hour nap for Tricky. He's spooning
root borax. Monet is curled up against the wall.
Jittering. You're all back to back, but you're
all on one side of the room. So Monet is crushed
against the wall for no reason. There's plenty
of room, but she's just pressed against the wall.
Face pressed against the wall. Hands like this.
Like a mummy. Sorry, hands tucked on her chest.
Like a baby bird. I just couldn't see that. Like
a small baby bird. Baby bird. Small baby bird
that's definitely going to make it. It takes
you a little longer than normal, just beyond
an hour, maybe an hour and 15 to assemble your
ammunition. And you attribute that not to necessarily
the environment, or maybe you do. Maybe you say,
hey, I'm not in my element. I'm in the wrong
kind of place, the wrong lighting, and the sounds
are distracting, but you're able to get what
you need to get. You get your full 10 rounds
assembled. He would. He does start saying, like,
I'd totally be doing this better if I wasn't
inside of a crypt, you know. Just, like, something
to keep himself comfort, knowing that he's terrified
being down here. And maybe it's, rather than
an hour 15, like I just said, maybe it takes
you the entirety of your watch. Maybe it's just
spaced out just enough. But as you, like, finish
packing the last shell and inspecting it and
making sure that it's good to go, your last cartridge...
Something within you tells you it's time to wake
the others. But nothing otherwise happens within
your rest. Scarab loads a bullet into his gun
and stands up. Tricky! More cheese, please. Tricky
stands up abruptly, knocking Rumor's head to
the ground. Rootmoor and Monet. If either of
you had fatigue from the previous encounter,
it goes down by one. I had enfeebled. Me too.
Does that go down by one? By one. Oh, yes. Oh,
no more enfeebled. I'm still enfeebled too. I
like you. Oh, because you had your shadow taken.
Monet got the worst of it. Ah, yeah. There's
nothing we... Well, what happened? More rest.
You want to sleep here for two more days? We
need to find your shadow. I think. Sleep here
for two more days if you want. I think it's too
late, right? Isn't it too late? Too late what?
To find my shadow? Like, it's its own thing now.
Or, like, we can still kill it. Well, you know,
if it would survive 24 hours on its own, then
it would become its own sentient creature. Yeah.
I don't think that affects you, though. It hasn't
been 24 hours. Let's go. Although, as best you
can see, again, there are no shadows here in
the dark, even with your dark vision. You can't
help but look down at your feet and feel, though
you can't see, that there is an emptiness beneath
your heels where there should be something. Come
on, let's go. I almost, like, I get that. But
I also almost wonder if it feels a little bit
like home for her. Being from... The shadow plane?
The shadow plane. Home is taken away? No, more
so I doubt that she has much of a shadow when
she's in the shadow plane. Yeah. So I feel like
it's kind of like a weird familiar feeling to
not have a shadow. What a strange sensation to
think about too. It is both alien and yet comforting.
Yeah. To be like, this is correct, but it shouldn't
be here. Yeah. Yeah, I think that that would
be like a little bit, not necessarily disorienting,
just like distracting. I think disorienting is
a good term because in one place you had to come
to terms with when you came to the material plane
to be like, whoa, the hell is this? And then
all of a sudden to be like, nevermind, it's gone.
Back to normal. Wait, it shouldn't be like that.
That's not normal, even though it should be normal.
Yeah. Yeah. So I imagine there's this kind of
like, like. quasi uneasiness yeah, I feel like
it'd be like a like a Thing where like when she
first wakes up and sees no shadow that it takes
a second to be like I'm not home I also like
to think of it because again you guys are you're
in a dark room in the middle of a dungeon with
no light source It's like you wouldn't see a
shadow anyway, but I like the idea of like money
looking Where her shadow would be if if there
were a shadow to be cast and knowing It's not
there. Even if there were light here, it would
not be there. Yeah. And there's kind of, there's
got to be a sense, yeah, that's such a weird
juxtaposition of being like, oh, that thing that's
supposed to be here, even though I've never had
it, is not here. And that should be okay. But
for some reason, it's just wrong. It's like when
I'm having a day where I'm not feeling anxious.
And then I get anxious about the fact that I'm
not feeling anxious. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
It's like living with anxiety and then having
a day where you're at peace. Yeah, where it's
like I notice that I'm not anxious and I'm like,
why am I not anxious? This piece is wrong. You
gotta turn that around. Yeah, you should, but
you know, for those that feel the same way, relatability.
Yeah. I understand. I understand anxiety. And
now it's time for y 'all to find your way. Because
now you're in a barricaded room. Still in the
dark, it feels to those of you that rested, almost
like no time has passed at all. You only barely
feel like you were able to recover from the prior
day's tribulations, but you were. And so you
are able to restore your resolve. But now you
find yourselves barricaded in a dark room in
an unfamiliar place with untold horrors waiting
ahead. Does this still apply? Does what still
apply? The minus 17 stamina. Let me double check
on that. I forgot about that. Felicia, to answer
your question, no. For you and Rootmoor, that
does not recover. Your max is still below 17.
Oh, we don't know how to take care of that then?
Do either of you have occultism? I do. Okay,
give me an occultism check. I'll also take a
religion check. Okay, I'll do religion. Golly.
I got a... 13. 16. Oof, you guys. I know, it's
so bad. You rolling fours? As far as you know,
maybe you think it's just where you slept and
how you slept in shifts, but the two of you just
don't feel quite as rested as you should. Tricky
just be farting, dog. I know. So you are both
down 17 from your max resolve. So Rootbar's going
to start clearing the barricade. Come on, answer.
Start punching him. The scarab stands there and
yawns. We'll say it takes you guys about half
an hour to get everything out of the way. And
before long, the door is clear. Ritmore steps
out. Quiet! Immediate perception. Sealing everything.
Just everything in this general area. Yeah, looking
around. Yeah, go ahead. Rick, where are you?
Scarab man's tricky. Creepy asshole. 18. 33?
40. Dang. 19 plus 14? 40? 40, wow. Man, what
is wrong with my character? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm
so sorry. I was looking at a DC. 30, 30. You
actually get it. With a 33. Okay. As each of
you begins to emerge, From this glorified broom
closet, the most that you hear is nothing. Okay.
Just that same sort of feeling, Rootmore, you
were getting the night before, where as you walk
out, you hear just the in your ears as if you're
straining to listen at nothing. Okay. Good. Good.
Nothing's here. Connie steps out and fills the
in her ears and she goes You should write that
down. What's going on? I try. Oh my god, do I
try? Everyone, let's go. Yeah, so now you're
back where you were. Just outside the library,
six dwarven statues to the south. There's the
way that you came to the north around the short
wall and to the northeast where you first pursued
the shadow. Which way do you all want to go?
I say we go south since we've already been in
that room with all the shadows. It's not a...
Where were the shadows? It was F13. Correct,
F13. Yeah, let's go to F13 and check out that
room. I don't feel good about leaving Monet's
shadow just out there. Not that we didn't sleep
forever. Probably walked, but whatever, Rudemore.
We'll go where you want to go. We'll find it.
Don't worry. Ooh, what's this? Pushes in stone
on ground. You would. You would, Rudemore. You'd
definitely walk up to a pressure plate and push
it with your hand. Kneels down. Just because
the whisperings at night was making him paranoid,
he wants to do another perception check just
to see if these things revived. In this room.
Okay. 18 plus 14, that's a 32. Good one. Real
good! Oh, thank you. As you slowly creep into
this rotunda, you... See now what Monet saw,
this statue in the center, a sort of dwarven
priest in a bowed prayer -like stance in the
middle of the room. You can see in both, or rather
all, of the angular directions, northwest, northeast,
southeast, and southwest. are these low and narrow
crawl spaces that are like barred off, almost
like sluice gates of sorts. That sort of kind
of go off into the darkness. And as you stand
here before this praying dwarf, you hear nothing.
No whispers. I'm sorry, was this where the shadows
came out of those crawl spaces, right? Correct.
Yeah, so gross. You know there's bodies in there.
Did I read this already? Let me look. Let me
look at it. Let me see if I've read it. Are there
any... Is there a plaque or anything at this
fellow's feet? I do not remember. It's like I've
been sleeping for months. I haven't looked at
this place at all. Yeah, don't blame yourself.
Monet would not have had time to read in her
panic. Mm -mm. Couldn't remember. I mean, I heard
about this so well that I couldn't remember if
I was here myself. Well, if I was here myself,
I would have shopped. I want to shut that shadow.
There is a dwarven plaque. Let me read it. I'm
tired of being in this dungeon. I want to yell.
Runemore, take me home. Quiet. Beneath the placard
of the dwarven praying is a simple limerick.
At the feet of Torag we hope to keep. This darkest
secret may he long keep sleep. Wow, ooh, this
is leading us towards, uh -oh, the gate. Uh -oh,
I guess I'll tell you what it says. It says a
big sleeping giant is gonna go to sleep. And
if you don't tell anyone, he's gonna stay that
way. Too bad, they've told everyone. They're
gonna wake him up. So we need to be quiet and
find... As some of you kind of maybe walk around
the statue getting a better look at the room,
you do see on the southern egress of the room
is a narrow hallway that seems to lead to a stairwell
that descends. It goes even further down. Jeez.
Taking a peek through these bars and these crevices.
Anything of note? It's just hot dog water. Let's
leave it alone. Oh, that's his favorite drink.
So you're just going to run off to F11. So, Rumor,
you're checking out the grates? Yeah. Okay. They
are low to the ground, and they are recessed.
So at each point where they connect to this rotunda,
there is maybe about half a foot down a recessed
sluice that goes into the wall that is blocked
off by these grates. The grates themselves are
probably no bigger than a foot tall and about
half a foot down. But as you get down on your
hands and knees to kind of look into one of these
sluices, there's nothing that stands out to you
other than in the darkness, what your dark vision,
what your dwarf eyes can see is a jumble of bones.
Yup. Gross. This place is cursed. When we're
done here, we need to clean everything up. Clean?
Yes, Scarab, you heard me, clean. Boring. There
are bodies here that need to be put to rest.
All of them. We is a strong word. This is bad.
I know what I said. Let's move up north. We can't
go down yet. Come on, let's go to F11. F11. I
didn't mean to fucking just draw a line on the
screen. I think we were ready. I was just going
through the wall. I don't know how to play the
game. Just take the pointer and you can just
draw a box around it. Oh, I deleted it. Are we
going to start going towards F5? Alright, now
you're just looking like Joe Madden over here.
We're going to go around the corner, down the
hallway. Great day for football. I just believed
in myself so hard right there. Bye -bye. That's
how I know which way I've been there before.
I got you. I deleted it. Oh, no. I won't know
where I've been. There's a little scribble circle
down there. Are we going to go north for Monet's
shadow? No, quiet. Shut the fuck up. Shadow for
Monet's shadow. North is good, but we're totally
at a crossroads. I don't want to just turn my
back on the devil. I want to peer down each hallway
first. South, then east, then north. Is that
a door going to the north? Well, let me tell
you now that we're all here. As you begin to
make your way back to the north towards the chamber
with the library and the dwarves, you see a hallway
to the east that you then turn down and make
your way until you come to what can only be described
as a crossroads. As you make your way through
the darkness, You can see with your dark vision
some kind of shimmering, blurring shape ahead,
and you can hear the sound of rushing water.
And as you find yourselves now at this crossroads...
We're not in Kansas anymore. That's a Russian
joke. To the east, i .e. directly ahead of you,
you see a waterfall. It is probably about maybe
15, 20 feet tall that is collecting in a pool.
A carved pool, mind you, at the base of this
intersection. And as you look along the water
up towards the top for the source of it, you
see four carved human faces. Whoa. Human, not
dwarven. Human, distinctly. The water pours from
the mouth of one, from the eyes of another, from
the nose of the third, and from the ears of the
fourth. All collecting in this pool below. To
your south is an open hallway that continues
into the darkness going Who knows where and to
the north is a great stone slab Blocking your
path. It seems out of place. There is a like
slight Not indentation, but it doesn't line up
flush with the hallway that you just came through.
There's like a divot there that makes it seem
like there should be more, but here is the slab.
It's barricaded. And if you were to look around
a bit more, you would see maybe on the ground
there's a series of scratch marks that indicate
that at one point maybe this slab was set to
open. In fact, closer examination... reveals
a track in the floor. Ooh, um... We could always
just go around, though. I will say that this
slab, again, with the closer examination, not
only is there a track, but it almost seems to
be slightly ajar. Not enough to squeeze through,
but enough to see that it's offset, that it's
not flush with the environs. We're just going
to try to open it. Monet is also going to try
and open it. Is there a drain in the pool? Give
me a... I will take a perception check for that.
21. There is a drain. Give me an arcana, occultism,
or religion, or nature check. Either of those
four. 27. Arcana. Yeah, looking this thing over,
as old as everything around you is, not only
is there a drain at the bottom of this pool,
it seems like the water is in constant cycling
motion. Upon your estimation and appraisal of
the water, you think that it's actually most
likely safe to drink completely potable water.
I wonder if this thing's like siphoning itself.
Hey, fellas. Hey, fellas, come drink some of
this. Freaking water, man. I don't want to drink
the water. Water's boring. Watch. Okay. Scarab's
going to stick his snout in there and get some
water. Actually, Tricky would start doing it
first. Okay. She's not even going to wait for
Tricky. Anyone else? Fine, I'll do it. You don't
want to die, do you? You might heal your gout
or whatever's going on in your throat. Each of
you squeeze into this corridor around the rim
of the fountain. And on hands and knees, you
get on the lip of it and dip your faces down
into the water. And as you drink, you feel refreshed.
It is delicious and safe. Tastes like schnozberries.
And whoever heard of a schnozberry says one of
the faces. Help! Help! I'm scared. Noodle tarts.
Monet will fill up her water bottle. Her Voss
water bottle. Okay, interesting. Good to know.
What'd you get under your perception check, by
the way? 27. Oh, that's big. Yeah, it was a 27.
Okay. I would be curious to check. Anybody else?
An arcana check? Perception. Oh, perception.
Yeah, is that what you got on? 27? Oh, I didn't
do a perception. You rolled a perception first,
and you rolled a... I think it was a 21. Go ahead
and the other two. Give me perception. Curious
if it has any healing properties. 25. 22. Okay,
all of you at this point can hear. As you're
drinking the water, you slowly now... Maybe it's
because you're closer to the sound of the rushing
water. and it's not echoing down the hall, but
you can kind of hear from where that slab is
partially ajar, you're catching the subtle echoes
of a light tinking sound. Just like a ting, ting,
ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. Oh, what now? More
undead? Another sad blacksmith we need to put
out of his misery. Oh, Andre, please help us.
Um... Baby Droskar worshipper. Let's open the
door. Quietly. Rootmoor quietly slides this stone
door. Monet will attempt to force it open. Roll
for it, roll for it. Both of y 'all are going
to try to move the slab. Give me an athletics
check to force open. Rootmoor will assist you,
Monet. Yours might be better than mine right
now. Natural one for Scarab. Plus six. Fifteen.
Damn. She's enfeebled. 27, so that's plus 2 to
you. Can the three of y 'all give me a collective
groaning sound as if all of you are trying to
push open a heavy slab in character? Scarab's
head accidentally falls through the crack. Now
he's stuck. I'm sorry, I forgot to do it. Alright.
Well, now you can do it. Yep, all together now.
3, 2, 1. As you all push with all your might
against this stone slab, you hear the grinding
of stone. Just a... Before you hear a... And
the stone slowly begins to fall towards you.
I need a reflex save from each of you. Okay.
Is this a damaging effect? Yeah. Okay. Stone
slab. It probably does. My armor has Bulwark,
which adds a plus three to my reflex, only to
damaging effects. Okay, yeah, this would be...
Well, it has the tags Uncommon, Mechanical, and
Trap. Does it deal damage if it hits? It do.
Okay. 19. 28. I got a 21. All right. all three
of you hear this crack of stone as it begins
to fall and you can feel since all of you are
shoving against it that suddenly what felt like
you pushing away now feel it pushing back on
you as it begins to collapse and you're able
to just narrowly make it out of the way but each
of you will take bits of scrapes and bruises
as the wall begins to fall and then as the wall
falls it hits the ground with a thunderous crash
sending rock stone and other debris flying at
you As the wall falls, that is going to be seven
points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And that
is halved for your successes. Oh. And an additional
six points of piercing damage as the debris it
sends flying at you. So altogether, that will
be... Seven. Seven. For all of us? Total for
all three of you. Even for me? Yeah. With a 26,
it was not a critical. 28. 28. Actually, you
critically succeeded. Monet, you're fine. Now
the debris that shot out. You're going to try
to take cover against that and get a plus 2?
I just want to jump out of the way. 7 plus 6,
13, and then half. 6? Although technically, because
they're two different instances of damage, it
would be... Oh, we round down. Yeah, you round
down. Yeah, so it's six either way. Hell yeah.
That's not terrible. I'm going to run into room
nine. Yeah, you see it. I'm going to fire my
gun. I'm readying an attack. Fire at the first
person who follows me in this room. Uh -oh. Roll
off. It wasn't me. I saw you in there for a second.
No, I was in the hallway. Cheating. I was in
the hallway. Alright, root war. He ran away.
Okay, moving up into F9. Is that another hallway?
Sure is. Big rooms. Oh my god. Wow, big place.
I mean, look at all the darkness on the map.
We've got some places to go here. So, as you
enter this room, F9. Yeah. Yeah. you can hear
to the east the wails and cries of pain and gasping
sobs that are issuing beyond the rubble that
lead to the east. Now, louder than before, you
can hear that ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting,
ting, ting, ting, ting, in chorus with the moans
and wails of the suffering. This room seems to
be, at least at some point, the entrance to a
crypt of some sort. There are depictions on the
wall of dwarves engaging in futerary practice,
which would lead you to believe that this was
some sort of grand entranceway to what would
have been, at least at some point, a place of
burial and respect for those lost. Now, this
room is in ruins, surrounded by corpses freshly
buried beneath rubble. And as you hear the sounds
of wailing coming from beyond the room, That's
all the time we have for today. Dark. Gross.
I don't like it. Could be a nice place to bury
this man. Could be a nice place to rest. Yeah,
in here. Just cover him in those rocks. Oh, Felicia,
go to episode 53 on YouTube. There's a comment
you need to read. Okay. Which episode was 53?
It's the one right before this. Oh, fuck. I know.
It's been a while. Since I could hold my head
up high. Dear listener, I'm trying. Work has
been a nightmare. I've been exhausted. Like,
we post weekly and it hasn't been weekly lately.
Change that. Yeah, change that. I think people
will understand. If you like us for how we sound
and what we do and what fun we have, you'll also
understand that, like you, we are human beings
and that we got shit going on. If you're listening
to this in 2025... You know already. Maybe years
later you might look back and be like, what are
you talking about? Everything is instant now.
You're downloaded in my brain. That's different.
Maybe you'll look back and go, oh, that was the
second Great Depression. And now I understand.
That was the dark times, the before for the Fourth
Reich. Apparently, we work too much for too little
money. Or all of this will be removed by the
new world government, and you won't hear any
of this at all. All right, y 'all. Follow me
on TikTok. I'm going to go ahead and read out
a comment from It's -a -Roy. It's -a -Roy. How's
it going, It's -a -Roy? Fill out this comment
on our last episode on YouTube. and they say
okay now the way i think i furrow my brow i look
down or out of a window if i'm close to one sometimes
i smirk i've been told i prefer to listen to
others speak for a while about what they're actually
thinking asking them questions if they aren't
actually speaking yet when i finally speak on
whatever subject i want to be as well informed
balanced and mindful of others as possible Not
simply political, but caring about the actual
well -being of others. Not only emotional well
-being alone. The whole person, not just one
aspect, depending on the conversation. I really
love thinking about many things, even those painful
questions that some avoid thinking about. I believe
it strengthens me inwardly. That's a great answer.
Yeah, that was the last episode, or the last
time, the last session we recorded. Felicia opened
up by asking all of us, how do we think? Do you
all remember? Yeah, I do remember. I don't remember
my response. I never do. I'd probably say something
different now. Yeah, I think that says a lot
about you, Itzaroy. That's awesome. Good job
introspecting. Also, as intermittent as this
has been recently, it's always really nice to
see that we still get comments. Like, just in
general, but especially, Itzaroy, you're becoming
a familiar face. As it were. And so I'm glad
you're still around. We talk about you when we're
not recording. It's true. Mostly nice things.
And also there's another one I want to read as
well. This is episode 30 of Crown of the Kobold
King by Holoscan. They wrote, really enjoying
the podcast. Appreciate you for putting it together.
I'm still catching up and just started this episode.
This episode is a... Episode 30 is you bravely
shoot this kobold in the back. Great episode.
Although you really shouldn't start from episode
one. They're catching up. Yeah, I'm joking. They
said, agree with Justin. Sometimes I think no.
What are you doing that for? For example, when
you decided to bed down in the reliquary. Reliquary.
Is that how you say it? Yep. It's so funny because
we literally, in this episode, we just slept
in the freaking dungeon again. Yep. Yep. Sorry.
Hi there. They also said, very happy you ran
away from the big nasty dwarf with bad breath.
Ooh, keep listening, buddy. Keep listening. Have
you thought about taking the air bubble spell?
Could be helpful with all the gas and smoke in
use. That's a good call. I have looked at that
one before. That one and... Turns you into an
astronaut. There's also the one that has like
the... What's it called? Basically where you
can catch people with like a gust of air. I thought
about both of those. Yeah, to blow it all away.
Because of the smoke and stuff that we were dealing
with and then also having to jump down. Yeah.
But, no, it's not to blow it away. It's to, like,
catch a fall. It's not what it's for, but it
could be creatively used as a gust of air to
blow it away. I see. Open your mind! Okay, don't
yell at me. And also, with the narrow passageways
when Tricky was having trouble going through
it, Holoscan also continues. I think there is
an item that Scarab can get to make tricky small
for easy transport, kind of like a Pokeball.
I know there is an item. You looked that up for
a second. Yeah, I just ain't got no monies. I
mean, now we got some gold, but it keeps going
to Scarab. I want somebody else to get something
life -changing. Air cushion. Air cushion. That's
what I was thinking of. Air chuck. Because it's
a reaction. All right. Thank you very much, Hallscan.
Yeah, I appreciate it. And again, we say this
every, like, I don't know, like 10 episodes.
10 weeks. Sure. Sound off. Sound off. Sound off.
Leave a comment telling Emod how much you love
him and how you want to give him smooches. Why?
Emod the pretty kitty daddy. Oh. You want to
talk about how that one time that Emod accidentally
said, baby, I don't know. Yeah, leave comments
about that. That never happened. It's my ringtone
now. And lastly, make sure you check out our
YouTube if you don't. Like, come on. Be like,
it's a Roy. He left a comment on YouTube. It's
fantastic. We got little pictures that Emod makes
for the episodes. You get it. And so subscribe
to the Cursed Caravan YouTube. And subscribe
to Bamboo Trauma YouTube. That is Emma's YouTube
channel. Thank you. If you want to watch Emma
doing funny stuff on other stuff, he plays a
lot of games. Yeah, he posts videos of playing
video games. And also follow Matt on TikTok.
That is SweetBoyToshio on TikTok. He posts a
lot of drawings that he does and just fun little
videos. Oh, yeah. Burgeoning artist. He's doing
real good. He makes real good stuff. Get me out
of work. And follow Cody on the street. Follow
me home. Follow Cody out in the dark alley at
night time. But don't say anything. All right.
Don't get too close. No conversation. Just follow
me. I'll show you where to go. Maybe you could
leave little secrets, little knickknacks and
crickets to let him know you were there. And
don't follow me. A little slice of cheesecake
on the patio never hurt nobody. Don't even. don't
even think about me anyways i hope you guys have
a good day and thank you for being a traveler
on the cruise caravan check out all of our links
in the description okay bye thank you Let's get
into this. See, I just picked my nose and there's
hot sauce in my boogers. I didn't appreciate
how you just diminished Emod's hyperventilating.
Do you see the hot sauce in my boogers? No, that's
gross. I know. There's hot sauce in my nose.
Look. I just fucking picked my nose. Stop showing
everybody your boogers. Hot sauce in my nose.
Hey, she's autistic. Don't diminish her autism.
The moment I hit record, this is going at the
end of the episode. Don't put any of this. Oh
my god. What do I do? I say all my bad things
in the middle of the episode. Yeah, where they
belong. Buried in the funnies. Not at the beginning
laden with awkward texture. Middle of the episode
where I can't hide. Make sure I say a really
offhanded bad comment while someone else is saying
something important. That way I can't be cut.
It's just going to be a weird echo. That's what
I'm going to be remembered as. Matthew the Weird
Echo. Damn. That's my Elden Ring name. That's
your wrestler name. Strange Echo. Matthew the
Weird Echo. Cut my fucking name. Sorry, I forgot
we were recording. There's only one. All right,
Tigger. Easily found. Highlander over here. Look
it up. Don't. No, geez. Try it. Look it up, but
don't because it's just going to make it come
even closer to me. Streisand effect.