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Last time you peeped into a cave on a little kobold consoling his best friend.
Then you barged in and started shooting bullets everywhere swinging hammers.
You turned a little 1v1 that never should have happened into a sock hop frog jamboree.
Then you killed them all except for the guy.
He got away.
He killed his best friend and the innocents in the cave that asked for nothing but to
be free.
He decimated them with an earthquake, blew one up with a shield, clubbed and shot the
others.
I rammed a rod in the blind one.
The heroes ladies and gentlemen.
That feel pretty good.
You feel good about that?
I did.
Good to be with y'all again.
What would you like to do?
I'd like to spend three actions to get the sticky stuff off of me.
Same.
Nice.
Scarab and Tricky are going to reunite.
Even though the floor is still gross and sticky in here, I'm just going to assume you're being
very careful walking across it.
We won't have to do checks.
I don't want to have to do a slapstick comedy session of you guys slipping, falling down
and standing back up again.
Oh yeah.
The more it's going to walk back where they came just in the entrance of the tunnel where
there's no slime and he's going to.
If we have 10 minutes, spend 10 minutes doing a treat wounds on himself.
He got beat up pretty bad.
Yeah.
Just don't roll a natural one.
24 one way from a crit.
Anybody else need healing?
Damn, I do have oil.
I got hundreds of gallons of oil on me.
Now I was going to say it's not really for anything, but might as well.
Scarabs chilling and cleaning his firearm.
His firearm cleaning kit has oil in it.
I mean, that's, you know, it's nothing.
It's like a little squeezy bottle.
But no, that's pretty good.
No fine root more.
You took that one like a champ, bud.
Oh, thank you.
You really kicked the, you got your ass kicked and it was bad ass.
It seems to always happen, but that's okay.
You're still here, brother.
That's what I'm here for.
I'm going to take another 10 minutes.
Tries to stand up camp.
Use the resolve.
Yep.
All right.
Monet.
Okay.
Monet is fine.
Yeah.
Just a little bit from you.
Yep.
Ah, that was a good 10 minutes.
I'm feeling pretty good.
I just want to know what he looks like in that 10 minutes.
Just blank stare, nothing.
That's a click.
Sitting there staring into nothing.
All good.
He's doing the family guy fall down, hold the leg.
For 10 minutes.
All done, dust off.
Yeah, Scareb and Tricky are looking down this needly hole to the south on the opposite end
from the stairs that go down.
I mean, Matthew looking at the map here, it definitely connects to older rooms.
Yeah.
If you peer down that narrow hallway, you can kind of see where it opens up.
You can even still see a dead kobold on the ground there.
This is the switchback from the tunnel you took that led you to the kobold ambush where
you drew a hot dog on the floor and there was a rope trap.
Oh yeah, and this was the room that we kept hearing all the proking and shit.
I'm glad we didn't go in this room at that time.
You even remember now that that dead kobold there was one that was strangled by your old
pal Rick.
Yeah.
Rick!
Hold that guy.
Okay, so we can see, yeah, there's, there is another path if we were to go down that
way.
Now we've got a room marked, do any of the bros remember what that is?
E7?
Was there a cage?
Yeah, that's where we found the poocha.
That was, okay.
Yes.
Okay.
We didn't leave anything in there?
Mm-mm.
Okay.
I didn't think so.
I get it once been a hatchery where the cages had nests in them, but then they were emptied.
A million percent.
Let's check this room.
We haven't checked it yet, the one that we're in.
Little perception, see if there's anything.
I totally forgot to do that in the E3 as well.
We gotta, but...
Ooh, I actually, Rootmore, before your 10 minute check there, I need another fortitude
save, sir.
Oh, okay.
That's right.
23.
Okay.
You feel as you're tending to yourself that the poison has worked its way out of your
system.
Oh, good.
Nice.
I feel better.
You look great, Rootmore.
Thank you, I ate some weird beans earlier.
Stop.
Stop eating the damn beans.
Put it down.
I'm licking the damn thing.
Which way do y'all wanna go?
You've got to the north is the way that that kobold ran.
Looks like a...
Maybe a small, rough-hewn staircase that descends down not very far.
I did roll 27 on this room for any cool shit.
Oh, yeah, well let's...
Who are you talking to?
Stop whatever the hell I'm doing.
Fingering the goo.
Ooh, I rolled pretty good.
I'm gonna find a bot.
In this room... no, you're not seeing anything.
Just the now battered remains of the slurped kennels.
The slurps themselves weren't carrying anything.
They're not even outfitted with saddles, instead relying on their sticky backs to hold their
mounts.
Yeah, there's a nice little detail that I picked up on.
Weird and gross.
Gross.
Slank, slank, slunk.
I hope none of those were slurs.
Slurps.
They were all slurps.
They did.
Damn.
They did.
But no, nothing else seeming of interest in here.
You imagine if they were being fed, it was probably brought to them directly.
It's not like a communal trough or anything like that.
And there doesn't appear to be anything else stored in here.
There's that dead kobold, the one who got brained by the slurk.
His body's discarded off to the side, but he's not carrying anything that you haven't
already seen on the other kobolds.
He's got just a really simple spear and some shoddy leather armor.
Okay.
I'm curious, are these scarabs would be just making sure, just for the sake of sanity,
that all these kobolds have been true scales?
Have they look about...
I know some have had different armor seemingly affected by whatever new stuff's going on
in here.
Yeah, you've seen some that are in flowing dark garb.
You've seen some that have been in some kind of ceremonial garb as well.
The flowing dark garb was on the ones that had the wing talons that they were swinging
above their heads.
They kind of looked like cloaked assassins.
This guy had black leather armor that he was wearing.
But nothing that you've seen that would tell you they're not true scales.
And some of the ones with the more elaborate clothing, like you would have seen it on the
flowing...
I think we talked about that when you guys get ambushed by them.
They had a true skills symbol on their chests, like on the garb.
And this one who just ran away had the same, I believe it was a kobold handprint at an
angle on his armor as well.
Oh, he's the Hand of the King.
Yeah, that's what it is.
I'm curious if this is all just true scales that are turning over or if this is spreading
more.
But I guess at a certain point you wouldn't really know unless he knew them all by name.
If he knew where they came from and all that.
Because they're clearly not all the same type, color.
Creed!
Yeah, you've seen a few different colored kobolds too.
There have been some with black scales, some with red, some with blue, and the most recent
guy was green.
The only thing notable about him aside from his green scales and yellow eyes is that he
is an exceptionally long snout.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I say we go south because if we go north they are expecting us.
The little guy that ran away.
Oh, for sure.
I do remember!
There is another path we left!
Because we were hurting pretty bad.
My grubby little hands want to go grab what's ever in there.
Let's go look.
Keep an eye out for the creepy Rick dude.
Yeah.
Keep all of your eyes open.
Okay.
I won't be going alone.
Stay with me.
He attacks people that are alone.
Oh!
I hear something.
Go quickly!
By yourself!
Sam!
He's really far away.
80 feet the other direction.
Don't worry, I'm right behind you, Rootmore!
Quick little glance around for traps.
30, perception.
You keep a careful eye out as you walk southwest, traversing halls and rooms you've been through
before.
Nothing sticks out.
It almost looks like nothing here has changed, aside from a lack of the kobold bodies you
left behind.
But you already know that there was a great gathering of the undead kobold over at the
well.
So it doesn't strike you as any more out of the ordinary than that already did.
Very good.
There's a big hot dog on the ground here.
I think it's a trap.
Keep an eye out for Rick.
Moray!
Yes?
Come, please!
Don't be alone out there!
Okay so, there were bodies here.
Unless they... just, you know.
Stay vigilant!
They could have all gone to the well hole, I guess.
Still, watch your feet.
Keep poking north.
This is uncharted territory.
So I'm gonna use my dwarf eyes to look for traps again.
Anything weird.
Look for traps again?
Oooh!
Twisty room!
The way is clear!
Or, otherwise known as a corridor.
Nothing stands out to you as you begin to move north.
There's another set of rough-hewn stairs.
Kind of like something was carved hastily at a downward slope, maybe even erratically,
and then kind of corrected.
The hall is very narrow up ahead, and windy.
Moving down the dark hallway.
It's very tight.
Can't breathe.
Another intersection.
I'll make another perception check.
Traps!
Evilness!
There we go.
Come on.
Traps evilness?
Are you checking for evil?
Is that what you're doing?
It's actually his new spell.
Bad intentions.
Looking for bad intentions.
I love it.
This is a pretzely place.
Can we see what's to the north?
Oh, you got it.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Come to a fork in the tunnel, one that winds more northwest and the other off to the east.
I don't know.
Do we hear anything?
Roll me a perception check.
Who's my dwarfius?
28.
19.
I don't aid.
You don't hear anything as you're peering forward into the cave.
You do notice what appear to be strange mushroom like growths in the western direction.
We go west.
Can I roll a perception on those mushrooms?
See if I can learn something about them.
Yeah, they'll be right about...
Oh, that's the wrong button.
Right about here in this little alcove and then some more on the wall over here.
Oh, don't get too close.
Right.
Scarable check as well.
Nature?
Watch we roll.
It's going to be hard to tell exactly what it is from here.
Aside from it's a mushroom like growth.
Okay.
Take a step forward.
About here.
A little closer.
Could be poison.
Could be.
Could be a friend.
Could be foe.
Could explode in our face.
Or they could be delicious.
Could be delicious.
So I want you to be delicious.
Let me touch it.
As you get a little closer and you can see a little better, these mushroom growths are
huge.
They're easily the size of an adult human.
This is a fucking leshy.
They have a like pale, almost like a pale yellow body to them and they're capped by
large frilled purple heads.
So big.
I do nature on it now?
Sure.
Oh good.
Don't touch it one more.
Fifteen.
Tell you what, do you have survival?
Seven.
Survival.
Okay.
As you inch closer and try to get a better look at these things, you move in and you
can suddenly see the one in front of you begins to swell.
What's up?
Honey's actually got a pretty good nature.
I thought she had like nothing in nature.
The time has passed.
Begins to swell before almost eyelid like shapes begin to open all along the body of
the mushroom.
And then it immediately lets out a deafening shriek.
If it speaks, let me know.
I need a fortitude save from everybody.
Oh my.
I think I'm just going to go ahead and use the peepy.
I am as well.
My session peepy.
I have thrown in the peepy.
Twenty seven.
Thirty two.
Wow.
Thirty four for scarab.
Damn.
Natural twenty four tricky.
Fantastic.
Each of you, as this shriek begins to happen, you're able to either bolster yourself in
the case of trickier, the rest of you are able to clap your hands over your ears or
their equivalents in order to block out majority of the noise.
But you feel a great gust of air go over you as this thing shrieks and you know that had
you not been so quick to cover your ears that it probably would have hurt very much just
to hear the sheer volume.
And as this mushroom lets out a shriek, another one further down the hall lets out a shriek
and a one beyond that lets out a shriek.
And it kind of echoes off into the distance before it's silent again.
Hold.
Yeah.
Scarab doing so as well.
A thirty.
Oh, that's enough.
You've read about these.
These mushrooms are known as shriekers.
When they grow on their own in dark, secluded places, the shriek that they use is a biomechanical
response to external stimuli in order to try to scare off would be predators.
However, you also know that some people of more nefarious means will tend to plant these
to use them as a sort of pseudo alarm system for if a light source or a creatures like
natural warmth should come within 10 feet of the mushroom, it will react.
You know that it achieves this by filling an air sack, one that can be seen just underneath
the frill of the man like mushroom.
And if one is careful enough in their survival tactics, they might be able to approach and
sever the air sack, preventing it from being an alarm anymore.
Well, OK, OK, good to know.
Gives me a bargaining chip.
I know we're coming.
Scarab's going to raise a hand to this strange big mushroom.
He's going to kind of roll his eyes back in his head a little bit and this strange, oh,
comes out of his mouth and in in Fay, if this creature, if it's a plant creature, it would
understand this.
Grant us safe passage or we will have to cut the noise.
We have come to rid the mountain of its aggressors, the scourge within you.
Give me a diplomacy check.
Give yourself a plus two.
I'm making weird noises.
He's just speaking.
Yeah, Monae speaks.
Oh, she's a fake creature.
What does she does?
She fucking crazy?
I don't expect her to be amazed or anything, but does she react?
That's how she heard anybody speak it.
Scarabs never spoke it.
Really not, because I mean, she, you know, she comes from the shadow plane and she lived
among Kyle.
You probably think it's a little weird for a I mean, I think she'd think it's a little
weird, but I also think that she's not surprised because he's also growing plants on him.
I think she's kind of just like, hey, you know, he's a weird guy with her scratching
your head with her bald fist.
Yeah, exactly.
She's like, I don't know what's going on anymore.
OK, shit, that's going to be a 35.
Wow.
You as you reach out and begin to speak, the rest of you can see this mushroom once again,
kind of like filling up with air.
And then as you speak in Faye to it, it kind of like lets out a shutter as well as like
a little.
It's like lets out the air slowly and shutters in place before it grows still.
I mean, you know, harm.
We mean you no harm.
And if if by if if you get angered by us by any means, try to kill us.
We're going to do our best.
The mushroom then does a little like a shoo, shoo, shoo in place and then down the hall.
The next one, shoo, shoo, shoo.
The one after shoo.
Fucking, fucking, fucking pee pee for Cody.
Yay for being the most do it.
Use it immediately.
Oh, no.
Natural 20.
I think that Monet would be like, I mean, it's a different dialect for sure.
One that I haven't heard.
Like when Rootmore is like, he's making weird noises.
It's just everyone has a regional dialect.
So yeah, that's exactly it.
Because yeah, I'm curious.
I want to hear all the Faye dialects.
That's what I want to hear.
Give me a list.
He's just he's hearing the weird noises and she's like.
You see, that's the thing.
Everyone's got different accents.
Rootmore is rude to judge.
That's the thing, Roastgirb's brand new.
Like if he was fluent, you wouldn't even hear him, I'm sure.
Just.
Just nothing.
The hum of the universe.
Pretty cool.
Man, what a pain in the ass.
I don't want to have to hurt these guys slash alarm every step.
Love it though.
We'll see what happens.
What are the directions?
I guess both ways.
They're going to know we're coming.
Oh, so what do you all think?
Skinny narrow hallway or skinny narrow hallway?
Both know we're coming.
I think north because that's.
Yeah, I think north.
All right.
Push.
I think the damage has already been done.
Yeah.
Just twist.
I'm not sure what you're getting into.
OK.
As you begin moving up north.
Whoa.
Big room.
You find yourself in a massive cavern that seems to be filled with many dirty straw nests,
scraps of weapons and armor and the discarded remains of meals scattered about.
In several nooks and alcoves along the wall are more of these nests.
This almost seems, at least to you, Scarab, like what would be a cobalt den.
Bigger than the last one.
The bulk resting area of a cobalt tribe.
Oh boy.
Wow.
Good luck, room more.
Oh, thank you.
Little perception check.
Oh, I can't stand where I want to stand.
I can't stand.
Stand halfway in the wall.
Oh, just to see if anybody's here, any traps, anybody laying weight and ambush because they
know we're here.
You just got your back against the wall.
Leaning in a little bit.
24.
OK.
As you slide up along the wall and begin slowly surveilling this room in front of you, you
don't see anybody at first, but then you notice it.
Somebody peeking out from behind a rock here, just a little bump of a cobalt head around
a corner.
Back pressed against the wall, you can see the snout of one slightly sticking out.
One, two, three, four, five, six, you estimate.
Six cobalts hiding.
More slowly turns back to the groove and holds up.
No, he doesn't.
He doesn't hold up any fingers.
Six summer sausages.
He's holding his shield and hammer.
He doesn't hold up any fingers.
He just looks at both of you and.
He's flailing about.
Monty, it's dark and twisted in this tiny, tiny corridor.
What is he doing?
Dancing?
He's showing teeth.
What's his hammer towards the room?
I think he wants to.
I think he needs to toil.
He shakes his head.
No, he points his hammer at Scarab.
It points into the room.
Scarab points his gun at Rootmore.
What'd you say?
What are you trying to say?
Rootmore nods really fast like, fire.
No, I got you.
What is it?
It smells bad.
It must be true scales, huh?
He nods.
Yeah, I did a smell check earlier.
A smell check.
Rootmore, are you sleeping with that sausage?
What the hell, man?
Rootmore shrugs his shoulders.
I mean, I mean to tell you about the rash.
I don't know if you noticed it.
It's on your back of your neck.
The grease rash.
From sausage.
Sausage.
Let's go kill some fools.
I don't think talking to these guys is going to work.
They're pissed.
Rootmore sprints into the room.
Roll for initiative.
Okay.
Pull the guard, King Emperor!
Here we go.
Oh!
Trips on a rock.
Oops!
Ow!
No.
Skinny hall, skinny hall.
Bring him in here, Rootmore.
I have an idea!
Yeah, exactly.
Just run back, have them funnel through.
Just bop them on the head one by one.
I have an idea.
Ah!
Help, I'm scared.
I'm only level two.
What'd you get, Rootmore?
16.
That's what I like to hear.
Scarab.
33.
And Monet.
17.
I've been praying a lot, that's all I'm saying.
Hey, there was one slower than Rootmore.
Hey, Rootmore doesn't pray enough.
He needs to pray more.
Roll the lights, I'm 20 and the last call back for initiative.
I've been thinking the same thing about him not praying enough.
I'll do something with that, don't worry.
Scarab, you see Rootmore begin to sprint into the room before he stumbles for a second.
Maybe a little bit of extra sticky goo still on the bottom of his shoes slows him down.
And so you're the first to go.
Nobody else pops up, nothing else seems to happen, but you're up first.
Yeah, we're just going to run and stop right in here.
That's a lot of Cobalt.
That's both actions for Tricky.
He's going to fire at the one that's right in front of him.
29 to hit.
I'm going to need you to roll concealment for me.
Oh.
Little one, so DC5.
16.
Okay, you're good, yep, take that shot.
You're shooting at the one southeast of you?
Yes.
Okay.
DC5 damage.
They have 5 damage.
Final action reload, that's it.
5 damage ain't nothing.
Because you see that one immediately begin to freak out.
Oh, good.
Join my team and you won't be scared anymore.
See this banner? I made it myself, idiot.
Invisible idiot.
That's it for you?
You're slightly opaque, dork.
I'm going to win my crew and I won't make fun of you anymore.
Alright, one of the Cobalt Scouts in the back of the room pops up and he screams,
No!
Before he levels a crossbow at you and fires.
Help!
Let's see what's there to hit.
Not the best.
That is a 22 to hit.
Oh, miss.
Okay.
He'll reload and fire.
Dang, I need to make it.
Ain't hitting.
Both of those sounded like they hit.
This is a hit.
Okay.
The one next to him is going to do the same.
He's not going to scream now, fire, because he already had his friend do that.
Miss on the first shot with a 15.
Second shot's a natural 1.
Oh, baby.
Uh-oh.
Did you poo poo in your pants?
Poo poo.
Arranged.
Okay, as he fires at you, he becomes very prideful and upset that he's missed twice.
And so that second shot, when it goes, he gets tunnel vision.
You don't know how it is.
So he gets a plus 1 to all of his attacks, but he gets a minus and he is off guard.
Okay, okay.
Not minus 2 attacks, he's just off guard, so he gets plus 1 to attacks, his AC goes down by 2.
That's interesting.
He's focused in and probably only going to be firing at you, Scarab.
I'm going to go ahead and mark him so that I know which one's which.
Which one of these says, I'm really mad at that guy?
How long does that last?
I'm going to choose the ninja for focused.
For three rounds.
Can you be off guarded twice?
Like, could I, Hunters, mark him and then get an extra minus 2?
I don't think off guard stacks.
Or if it has, if it is the same, I don't know.
Yeah, you can't double off guard.
You can't make somebody dizzy and have them on difficult terrain that doesn't make it even.
It depends on the type of bonus.
If it's a circumstance bonus, then they don't stack, it just takes the highest value.
And most things that do nothing like off guard are circumstance bonuses.
Okay, I'll do some reading.
But I mean, trust me, you're not going to have any trouble hitting this guy even if he wasn't off guard.
He's a dork.
So then the other, let's see.
He is concealed.
That's my issue.
That's his turn, so we're going two more Kobolds go next.
So it's going to be number four and three respectively, which are the second.
I'm just going to pick it, that's easier.
So the ones in the middle of the room are both also going to stand up and fire.
First, this guy.
He's shooting at you, Scarab.
22 to hit.
Miss.
Yep.
And then reload and shoots.
Ooh, that's not nothing.
Probably still a miss though.
Yeah, it's 20, 21.
Wow, miss.
And then the next one.
Shoots.
22 to hit.
Miss.
Yep.
Reload, shoot again, and miss.
They are just trying to hurl everything they can at you.
The other two you guys see from the hallway, just seeing all these bolts just like clink
against the back wall and then just fall on a small pile is forming of discarded bolts.
Oh wow.
Monet, you see this and you decide now is your time.
Hey Kobold, stop trying to hit me.
That's it.
Hey, stop trying to hit me.
Okie dokie.
So, Monet will move to there.
Right next to this guy.
He gasps in horror as you step up next to him.
Full view.
And, would that hit them?
All four of them?
Yep.
Oh yeah.
Goes into all the squares.
Monet will drop a tremor.
Right there.
Ok, so you need fortitude saves?
Fortitude saves from all of them.
Probably not good.
15.
14.
Fail, fail.
10.
Fail.
20.
Wow.
Fail.
Yeah.
Everybody fails.
My confusion about Hunt Prey was, it's not that I get any additional points to like two
hit, it's that my MAP drops.
So my multiple attack drops to three rather than what would have been five.
Yeah.
No, that works.
So that would...
Yeah, yeah.
Because they're different stats are stacking here.
You're going up and they're going down.
It's different man.
It's just different.
Different.
Ok, so those four take 20 bludgeoning.
Wow.
They killed all of them.
Frickin' yes.
Yeah.
Piss yeah.
So as the ground begins to quake beneath them, the northernmost one begins to stumble in
place.
He trips and falls into a campfire and dies.
Oh my god.
Dead by fire.
The easternmost one on the edge is like heaped next to a pile of rocks.
Matthew, calm down.
That wasn't me.
This man.
He was hiding behind a pile of rubble and as the ground begins to quake, a rock falls
from that pile, crushing him.
Ouch!
Same thing happens to the one on the southeast, crushed by a rock released by your tremor,
and the one right next to you who begins to cower as you round the corner just vibrates
in place, bouncing up and down on the ground before he gets the wind knocked out of him
and he dies.
Oh no.
Never fall down so hard that you lose all the wind.
Exactly.
And then it just keeps happening.
He actually suffocated from how many times he had the wind knocked out of him.
That's awesome.
I totally goofed.
That's traumatic.
What?
What did you do?
It doesn't matter.
No, it was in the last fight.
A crit fail does knock you prone.
Oh, ok.
Good to know.
They've all been knocked dead.
Yeah, they've just knocked the crap out of them.
Sorry.
No, it's ok.
I knew that was going to happen.
Cody just rubbed his face.
Let me clean this initiative up a little bit.
Don't need you.
Don't need Monet.
We don't need her anymore.
You're superheroes.
I know.
Monet rounds the corner.
That guy gasps.
She gasps, drops a tremor.
And then he'll die.
Alright, Rootmore, you're up.
You wrench your sticky foot free of the floor and you sprint into the room.
Oh, gross.
So anywhere...
Anywhere difficult terrain besides Monet's little boy.
Nope, just that, well, I mean, if you try to run over the pile of rocks on the south part
of the room, then yeah, that'd be difficult terrain.
Anything that looks like rubble, that's difficult terrain.
Range is 60 feet.
We'll still move up anyway.
We'll move up a little bit.
I do.
Five.
Ten.
Fifteen, twenty, I guess.
Regardless, doesn't matter.
Needle darts at the guy with the lowered AC.
Concealment?
Nope.
They were only concealed in the first round when they were hiding behind the rocks.
They are in full view now.
They do have partial cover.
Partial cover.
So plus one to their AC.
Okay, I'm gonna do this right.
I'm pretty sure I'm doing right.
Yeah, forty to hit.
Wow.
Let me see.
Carry the one.
You crit the hell out of it, man.
Double crit.
Almost triple crit.
Oh my god.
Needle darts.
This is crazy.
It's not a real thing, by the way.
Double and triple crit.
Not a real thing.
Needle darts, made up move.
We just let him on half this one.
This is ten before.
I have this same move.
Something different for me.
Mine is a three action spell.
So that's also.
Yeah, but Divine List clerics don't get a lot of stuff like this.
So it's like one of his big ones.
And mine's only three d4.
Yeah, but you have a whole bunch of other utility that also does damage.
And cleric doesn't get that.
Cleric gets like, I'm gonna buff my allies a little bit.
Do a heal.
Not like, I'm gonna point at a guy and he's dead.
So all of Rootmoor's barbecue skewers come out and they fling at this kobold for 21 piercing damage.
Bye, you D-Fool.
So this kobold behind this rock is like looking over at his buddy.
Not looking, he's like leaning towards his buddy, but he's still staring right at Scarab and he's like,
This guy, I'm gonna shoot him so good, just you.
And before he can finish his sentence, he's just eviscerated by all these needles.
And his friend is watching an abject horror as his friend who was sitting right next to him
just got turned into kobold's with cheese and he dies.
All done.
His friend who was watching him also dies.
Sheer horror, scared to death.
I like that.
Free action to speak, that kobold immediately drops his crossbow.
Wait!
And it's Scarab's turn.
Step out here, now!
Scarab will wait.
Plomp plomp.
He slowly steps out from behind the rock, trying to stay low but with his hands clearly up in the air.
Money doesn't have two action elements left.
It is not your turn.
I double checked, I go right after Scarab.
Look, fool.
I've been double crossed on this many times by you stupid true scales.
But here's your last chance.
Half your buddies are dead, the other half, they're gone.
They're heading to the hungry mountains.
Oh, I told you my location!
You can go ambush us!
Fat chance!
You guys are weak!
One of their generals is tearing you apart!
Me and my merry men?
Y'all?
You ain't got nothing on us.
You wanna join my team or what?
Me diplomacy.
Or intimidation, your choice.
Diplomacy.
Money, aid.
Sure.
What do you say to aid?
True scales more like driven through scales.
Oh snap.
Damn, that's actually a good idea.
Takes mental damage.
She can't actually aid though, she doesn't have any bones.
She says that to herself.
She's standing there thinking for a long time like I was just doing.
Chances of survival go up.
True scales.
More like driven through scales.
I'm gonna try to aid.
Chances of survival go up.
Plenty.
18 to aid, so that's a plus one.
That's fine.
Okay, that's gonna be...
Get a plus two and tell him the truth.
Ohhhh, baby.
I'll double check on that.
Go ahead and say your thing, man.
But this will either be a 30 or a 31.
Chirp's gonna just hold his pistol crystal up to the banner behind him.
Tap on it and say, hungry mountains, or you die here.
He immediately shoots up standing straight and slaps a little pod claw to his forehead and he says, yes sir!
Crystal mountains, right away!
We'd love to see it.
Also, God, if you reach your men, you tell them they clean up after the slurks.
They're gonna get riddled with bad stuff.
I don't know, I wasn't really in it when we were doing the army.
True scales, more like get chewed scales.
I'm gonna have to work on my...
Get a mo'nay.
...my yelling at people.
I'm gonna go!
Later, man!
Bye!
Oh, don't tell them anything about us!
And he bolts.
Also, he did not hear you correctly.
He said, what did I say?
Crystal mountains.
And we just let it go and he's like, yep, alright, I'm going to the crystal mountains, join up with my other buddies.
No, you'll be fine.
See what happens to him.
I wanna see his story.
What's next?
You guys need to start asking names.
They're all new at this.
We have so much bubble gum left.
They're not supposed to be here.
You're not in initiative anymore.
Oh, God, let's check all these guys' shit.
Oh, man, true scales more like you're through scales.
Oh, that's pretty good.
That's good.
Say it to the bodies as we throw them to the side.
I'll say it to the next ones.
To each one as you're looting it.
True scales more like through scales.
Take a shit.
Say it to the fake king.
Yeah, that's right, Rulor.
You're not lying when you say that, either.
No anathema here.
Alright, looting through.
A lot of the same stuff you've seen.
Even roundabouts, there's not that much in the camp itself.
On the bodies you find bolts, 20 per.
Including the ones that harmlessly clattered to the wall behind you.
So with there being six of them, that's 120 bolts.
120 bolts?
Is anybody holding bolts?
I was.
I think I might have sold mine.
It's also six crossbows, six spears.
Dang, that's money.
Four slingshots and 80 sling bullets.
Sling bullets are sick.
Wow.
Dang.
I can hold like a crossbow for selling.
He said 120 bolts.
120 bolts.
Also excluding the one that ran away, there are now five sets of leather armor.
And two short swords.
I wonder.
Well, hot damn.
Dig around these rocks and find a bag of holding.
Rammar can hold one of those crossbows.
I'm holding one as well, but that's all I can hold otherwise.
What's the deal?
If I go over my encumberment, I'm half speed.
Yeah.
You can also put stuff on Tricky.
Tricky can hold a lot, right?
Technically right now, not really.
I need Bardon.
And each crossbow is gold and a half.
For half price.
So I mean, it's about the same.
Yeah, I say because the armor is worth, I think it was like two gold.
You'll figure out what you want to do with all your, what you want to do with all that junk, all that junk inside.
In the trunk.
Yeah, we're just going to find a spot to cover it with debris and hide it.
You're going to find, find, find, find, find a trunk, find a trunk for all that junk.
All that junk.
I don't remember how the song goes.
Yeah.
I want to make me make you junk.
Make you junk, make you junk.
Okay.
So yeah, anywhere in particular you want to snatch that?
This little corner right here seems a little out of the way.
We can just hide it behind all the bullshit.
Here, move yourself, Rootmark.
Get out of the way.
Okay.
I'm going to draw you a little treasure chest so you remember all your shits right here.
Little treasure chest.
Hell yeah.
So from this room we've got, is it two ways to go on the east, northeast, northwest?
A negative.
As you move to the eastern part of the chamber you see it ends in a cavernous wall.
Ah.
Leaving only an exit to the southeast and then one way to the northwest.
Anything interesting in here looking, or is it just more digging?
Any objects of interest?
There's several like nests scattered around, like cobalt nests.
Just kind of like in alcoves.
You'll see there like little dug in notches like a couple feet off the ground where they're kind of like,
basically like in wall bunk beds, I feel.
Where they've created little sleeping places for themselves but,
it's basically like a barracks or a common area.
Any of these dead cobalts, the one that ran away in the frog fight?
No sir.
Okay.
Alright.
Yeah, probably right further in.
Told these guys what was up and he kept going through.
Let's go find him.
Northwest.
Yeah, duh.
Scarab's gonna hunt prey on that fella.
Ah, good idea.
He's like, oh.
Tap his forehead a couple times.
Ranger, ranger.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Where is he?
Give, give.
Not necessarily for the sea guy.
Yeah, I don't remember.
Let me look in.
I can seek him.
I get a plus two to it.
Alright.
As you make your way northwest, slowly begin winding down the hall,
you see more of those large mushroom-like creatures embedded in the walls,
and as you pass, they give like a knowing shudder.
But no screams.
Before long, you find yourself at the end of this hall,
where there are two massive stone doors.
Unlike the intricately carving dwarven doors,
like higher up on previous floors,
these are rough-hewn, chipped away,
and they look like great slabs with a,
kind of like a hybridized dragon and kobold-type face on the front of it.
And the face itself is donned with a skull mask.
Like a big skull crown of sorts.
Some recall knowledge?
Yeah, what are you trying to, about what?
Anybody famous or...
Yeah, go for it.
Can we all see it?
Yeah.
Is that society?
Yeah, just a big ol' door.
I mean, I was just gonna have you roll just a joke with you.
You all recognize this from your green.
This looks like the same, like a rough depiction of
this so-called self-proclaimed kobold king.
We've made it.
The day has come.
Anybody else get a little worried when Rootmore just did that?
It's giggling in a dark hallway.
We've made it.
Wanna go see what he's doing?
Oh yeah, there's a depiction of the fake king.
A door.
I appreciate you a bit more.
Yes, let's go.
Forward strong, holy dwarf.
What's the plan?
Listen at the door.
Yeah, it's a good idea, Monet.
Let's listen, see if...
God, this is crazy.
See how loud they are when they know we're here.
Oh no, it's a tiny hallway!
25.
Anybody higher than that?
Is it a watt knocking?
Oh no!
Yes, possibly, 26.
Nice.
Let me listen just a little better than you, brother.
27.
Oh, shit.
Get over here.
The three of you huddled together.
One ear a little further.
One a little higher up than the next.
All of you leaning over each other and listening,
ears pressed against this cold stone door.
And you hear nothing.
See if the door's trapped.
Not much, like if I'm just chilling in my room
and not screaming or anything.
Could also be because it's just a heavy stone door,
it wouldn't be very easy to hear through.
Very true.
But if he's doing something weird, it might be nice to knock.
18.
Looking for traps?
Does not appear to be trapped.
Oh, good.
I feel pretty good about this.
Um, what do you say, guys?
Just mosey on in?
This is such a bad idea.
Scarab's gonna seek prey and see if he can sense
the direction of that cobalt that took off.
Uh, the, uh...
Which just gives you the general direction.
I mean, for seeking.
Maybe I can find tracks that are around the room or something.
Sure, give me a survival check.
Yeah, seeking hunting prey just gives me a plus two to that.
Bad roll.
Here come... here they come.
Maybe not the worst. 16.
Yeah, there's not really anything that's giving you
any indication that anything's come by here.
Doesn't mean that it hasn't.
There just aren't any footprints or anything like that in this cave.
Also, really quick, I need to channel...
reach out and moan its almonds.
Okay.
Yeah.
Scarab's gonna check his gun just in case.
Ah, still bullets.
Too many. Way too many bullets in that chamber.
Closes it up again.
Still a gun.
There it is.
Spits on that thing.
Polishes the barrel a little too much.
Just can't stop.
I'll detect magic leveled up finally.
Oh?
Uh, still like a 30-foot emanation, but...
level... heightened level three, you learn the rank
or level of the most powerful magical effect in the space
as determined by the GM.
So he's gonna pulse a little, detect magic.
He's gonna pulse a little in the doorway.
Huh?
Ha ha ha.
Uh, okay, so what does that give you?
Number of sources and now what level they are?
You learn the rank or level of the most powerful magical effect
the spell detects.
Oh.
Okay, give me a moment, because that will trigger something.
Oh.
So is that what it's doing now?
It won't necessarily tell you how many things there are.
It's just like, there's something big.
Yeah, while he's looking it up, I'll read it.
Sound of the pulse that registers the presence of magic.
You receive no information beyond the presence or absence of magic.
You can choose to ignore magic you're fully aware of,
such as the magic items and ongoing spells of you and your allies.
You can detect illusion magic only if that magic's effect has a lower rank
than the rank of your detect magic spell.
However, items that have an illusion aura but aren't deceptive in appearance,
such as an invisibility potion, typically are detected normally.
Thank you, Emon.
Oh, you're welcome.
Like, so I still know the stuff.
It's just the most powerful thing.
I know the level or rank.
Interesting.
Not until the fourth rank you actually know where the item is with imprecise sense.
Yeah, sorry, this is a tricky thing to figure out.
Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.
Okay, you detect a third level spell.
That's...
Spooky?
That's tough, that's like us.
Yeah.
That's like us.
Uh-oh, it's one of us.
It's just the rank, right?
Yeah.
So you learn the rank or level of the most powerful magical effect.
You feel a rather strong emanation, relatively so to you, it being a third level spell.
Coming somewhere within that 30-foot emanation.
Ritmore takes his hand away from the door, and he looks at you two.
I didn't see any traps, but maybe the door is trapped by some magical effect.
So level three magic, maybe it's somewhere.
He said level three?
Give me a second.
Yes, in my book, my magical book.
I mean, if you didn't see any traps, but you're worth fine.
Did you know I could talk to mushrooms?
Did that earlier.
Oh, it looks like you did.
It was kind of weird.
I was concerned, but then everything worked out.
That's crazy, man.
Put me down.
You have surprises every day.
Oh, dang it.
They're stabbing people with metal bars now.
I don't see anything, man.
I got an 18 as well.
Normal door.
I'm sure it's fine.
I don't see any reason that I could check it if you two have checked it and seen nothing.
No traps.
Regardless, I'm all the way back here.
I think that if I decided to do a perception check right now, it would be metagame.
Shuffle up to the door, listen, and shuffle all the way back.
Check for traps back there, shuffle up again.
If we really, really need to do it, we could just wait.
Just give me like half an hour and then I'll look at it.
I'm so bored of looking at that door for traps.
We're like superheroes 10 minutes ago until you find a door.
Oh, no.
What if it's a trap?
We're living a meme.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
It's happening.
It'll probably be fine.
We've been stuck in forever.
Fucking Dora phobia over here.
We haven't had to deal with doors in a while.
It's just an open cabin.
I don't think you've encountered a trap door once this campaign.
It's crazy.
The one time we don't check though is when it's going to happen.
We just checked twice.
I know.
Room bro, you got a broomstick?
I do want to ready an action.
Are we doing this?
Are we opening up the door?
Are we?
The door is on the trap?
I didn't hear anything behind it.
I'm starting to get worried.
You've sensed some magic.
There might be something cool back there.
There's totally something cool.
Morgz is going to raise his shield and he's got to stow his weapon to open the door because his hands are full.
Good.
Put his hammer on his belt.
I can open the door.
Shut up.
Scareab's going to put on his face mask and he's just going to say, got a bad feeling about this?
Like Star Wars.
And he's just going to put his mask on.
I feel completely fine based off of the roles that we made.
Very true.
Yeah, you're right.
There's something here.
I feel no stress at all.
Just level three magic of something is scattered.
I didn't know it was fine.
I can do level three magic.
No stress.
This is a tight space.
It's got a weird hook in it.
It wasn't.
You don't know if it was malevolent magic.
Very true.
Anyways, Monty's going to open the door.
Ah, you said magic?
Where are we?
See, it's nothing.
It's just darkness.
Absolute darkness.
I heard the door squeak, didn't you?
Got a large iron key like 20 episodes ago.
I can't remember if we used it or not.
I think we figured out that that was for the cells.
And one of the rooms, right?
I think we used it on a room.
Probably.
A room.
Monty's going to close the door.
What's it look like, girly?
We got fun?
Is it cool items?
Is it something magical?
Oh, man, I just thought of a great idea.
Every time you walk up to open a door, ready in action to immediately close it.
Ready in action that if someone opens this door, I'm going to close it.
That is agoraphobic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alrighty.
I love that.
As you push the door open, Monet, you are the first to see.
It is a room that has been cleared of debris and fungi.
It's probably about, what is that?
35 feet wide, only about 30, 25-ish feet deep.
And it has very high vaulting ceilings.
This is not the most prominent feature about the room, however.
The most prominent feature is on the northern wall is the massive skeletal remains of a giant centipede.
Whoa.
Oh.
Bugs!
Seems like we got a bool wall sort of situation.
Seems that this giant centipede's carapace has been fashioned into some sort of throne.
Oh, cool.
Its bright red chitinous plates and legs have been repurposed and repositioned into an unsettling design
that allow for a rather nightmarish looking throne.
Its still intact head looms high above the seat of the throne.
And from its large glowing yellow mandibles hangs a rather shoddy looking curtain,
concealing whoever is sitting upon the throne.
That's brutal.
In front of the throne, down several steps, you see the kobold slur trainer that you just encountered.
Mm-hmm.
He turns and he looks at you, a bit horrified that you've caught up.
He's currently speaking to two of these dark talon guards that you encountered in an ambush scenario much earlier.
There are four of them in total forming a semi-circle in front of the throne.
And as you push your way in, they immediately begin to whirl their flying talons above their head.
A voice calls out to you from behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
You're right, Monet. This is a bull wall situation.
Worshipping false gods, losers.
The voice that calls out to you is familiar, as you've dreamed it several times by now,
though it sounds a bit different in person.
A boy.
So the fools have pushed deeper still and find themselves in my chamber.
We demand your immediate and unconditional surrender.
Only then, some of you may yet live.
Roll me a perception check.
Oh, boy.
It's the sheriff.
Twenty-two.
Seventeen.
Hold up. Hold up.
Twenty-nine.
Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.
Scarab, you notice that as this voice speaks, the honor guard, as they are spinning their talons,
seem to shift slightly, almost like something has caught them a bit off guard.
You can almost see them kind of like glancing at each other, like,
is that downright to you?
Hey, they're unsure.
Something's up.
Let me see here, what could that be?
They're looking between each other.
Yeah, between each other, not to y'all.
As the voice finishes calling out to each of you, the curtain is flung aside.
Sudden shing, as the ratty rags are tossed aside, and you can see now the figure you've seen in your dreams.
The so-called kobold king.
The so-bald co-call-sol-sol.
Ah, there he is, cortisol.
Standing upon the thorny carapace of this long-dead giant centipede is, what for a kobold,
is no doubt an impressive statured kobold.
He stands at a staggering three and a quarter feet tall.
Oh, my God!
He wasn't exaggerating, damn, this guy's huge.
His scales are a bright crimson with sort of a gold underhue on his soft underbelly.
His head is adorned with this skull-like crown that seems to have like a craftsman asury of skull and bone
jutting out in all directions, and part of it covers one of his eyes.
He sneers at you from on his throne, and holding his staff in his other hand, he props it to the ground before hopping down.
The kobolds before, the honor guard who looked unsure, immediately snap to attention,
ceasing their swinging before taking a kneeling pose.
He stands at the top of his dais and leers down at you.
So, throw down your weapons and surrender.
Close the door.
The kobolds of the hungry mountains and the true fighters for the Queen Mother
surrender to no ruse like you.
Let us walk into the room, coward, before you do anything stupid.
Please.
It's good to finally meet you. I can't get you out of my head.
I've been doodling pictures of you all day.
He laughs.
At Rue Mor.
Do you want to see them?
Points at him.
Of course, come in, come in. You are welcomed guests after all.
Come on, Tricky.
Tricky looks super uncomfortable.
I'm going to tell you guys.
I know that spell that was detected could just be an item, but Rue Mor is wondering if there's some kind of emanation,
because he wants us to walk in, wondering if there's some kind of emanation going on that's going to fuck us, and if this guy's even real,
because the perception we saw, the kobolds seemed a little unsure after he spoke.
So what are you looking for specifically?
I guess some kind of magical trap.
Yeah, I want to do a perception to see if this guy's an illusion.
Yeah.
Okay.
He's a puppet.
It's definitely good enough reason to recheck.
Here's the thing.
A couple things.
One, you don't have a way to identify whether or not there is a magical trap.
There's not a perception check or a sense motive that would tell you that.
And then same to you, if there was an illusion going on, the whole point of an illusion is to not be seen.
Well, I thought...
Unless you have a spell that is reveal illusion or something like that.
I thought with illusions that if you pass a check, then the illusion is broken.
There are some illusion spells that give you the opportunity to disbelieve.
And if you disbelieve them, then they'll be broken.
Okay.
So not.
So not that.
Okay.
Because that's what I was thinking, because I know of that.
I don't know.
It's probably a trap, but...
Everyone's going to walk in.
This couldn't possibly be the worst thing we've faced yet.
They ran up to the throne.
As Scarab and Tricky are squeezing in, Scarab finally sees the room.
Can he make a check?
Like floor, ceiling, pressure plates, fire pits that we just haven't noticed yet.
The floor just comes out.
Ah, shit, there it is, man.
Whoa.
Okay, so I'm sorry.
What do you want to check on?
Scarab would like to check for traps in the room.
Sure, give a perception check.
Just give a glance around.
No magical or nothing, just traps.
It's going to be probably at a lower or a higher DC because you can't actually inspect anything.
But give me what you got.
Just one of them quick, like, oh shit, that's a bag of flour.
I know what I'm going to do.
There's a bag of rocks up there.
I know what I'm going to do.
Not a big one.
18.
Nothing you can see, aside from the obvious honor guard in front of you.
Roommar's going to sense motive on the guard.
Since we noticed they were a little unsure of themselves, he wants to see why they're unsure of themselves.
Okay.
Oh, look at him.
It looks very tribal.
Yeah, it's cool.
It's a cool bald.
Yeah.
I mean, he's got like some decorative armor on for sure.
He's wearing those gold bracers.
He's got some golden scale male boots, some chainmail pants, and he's got this cool purple and black skirt thing.
I don't even know what you call that.
Tabard.
Yeah.
Is that a tabard?
Tabernacle.
They go down the back and down the front, but you got the legs open on the sides.
Yeah, like a long loin cloth.
Yeah, it looks cool.
Yeah, and you can see his crown now better.
He's got like one skull going over one of his eyes and he has another skull on the crown itself.
It looks like Kano.
Hey, so did your blade.
Tabard has that, but Tabard goes on chest too.
You want that tattoo?
You're going to have to kill me.
I don't know any tattoo.
Lieutenant Dan.
Ice on your blade.
Lieutenant Dan ice cream.
You look like Jenny.
You ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan.
My eyes red for some reason.
Just one of them though.
Well, Shao Kahn sent me here to get your soul.
Goro has four arms.
He always beats me at tennis.
I'm turning RFK.
I just can't stop.
Sorry.
So yeah, you don't see any traps.
Rootmore, what did you want to do?
Thirty descent's motive on the guard to see why they seemed unsure of themselves.
Okay, they seemed unsure for a moment and so when you're trying to hone in on that and see what else,
it seems like as soon as the curtain was thrown aside, they all immediately, that was gone.
They all immediately take a knee and they're all really sure this is their guy.
Okay.
Yeah, this is going to be interesting.
There's definitely still stuff going through Scarab's head.
Bullets?
Nah, lady mentioned.
Lady mentioned, magic happening.
So Scarab's like, okay, so who's this lady?
But Matthew's like, all of this is a lie.
This whole room is a lie.
So here he is and he's demanded you surrender.
Would you grant Scarab a big look up and down?
A good old fashioned perception?
Sure, on the Kobold King.
On him.
Okay.
On him the man.
Okay, 25.
Yeah, anything you want to know in particular?
Aside from his appearance that we went over?
This is tough.
Would you allow me to do something super hunterly?
Maybe, what's up?
Scarab kind of wants to check his heartbeat.
Like if he can like check his breathing, he wants to see if this man is, if there's like, stress behind him.
Give me a sense motive on him.
Because for you to not metagame, Scarab thinks that these guys are being controlled by a witch.
He just wants to see if this is like, how much conviction does this Kobold have?
Yeah, sense motive.
Let's go.
Oh, big.
Um, 30.
Yeah.
Something about him doesn't seem so sure.
Seems a little uneasy.
There's like a definite effort to make a show of bravado.
And there is that sneer that makes you feel like he thinks he's got you right where he wants you.
But yeah, there's definitely maybe it's something in the way that he's breathing.
Maybe he's breathing a little faster than somebody who should have been just sitting on a chair.
Yeah, something's up with this fella.
We won't be dropping anything.
A bit more stops from putting his hammer on the ground.
Oh.
No, no, no, no.
Be strong. Something tells me this guy's afraid of us.
Hey, what's your deal, man? What are you doing?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
True scales more like your through scales.
Oh, one more nay.
He goes for a high five. You're like 15 feet away from him.
Scare him, cocks his head to the side, arms folded.
The Kobold King holds a thumb up to his throat and says, execute them.
Roll for initiative.
Ooh, boy.
Sorry.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Let's hope we don't all die.
We don't ask questions. We just make answers.
That's all the time we have for today.
All right.
Bye bye.
Very good.
You got a friend in me.
The cursed caravan uses...
You got a friend in me.
You got problems.
I got them too.
Sorry, good.
I would like to hear the outro like that sometime.
Felicia is not up for that.
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The cursed caravan...
Paizo, let's talk.
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The cursed caravan theme music you are hearing right now is written by Matt.
He's fist bumping.
Sorry, because we listen to different music while we play, and I'm fist bumping that stuff because my stuff sucks.
Just kidding.
Thanks for listening to the podcast.
We would like to thank Michael Guelphie Studios, the world reference for tabletop RPG audio for the theme music and...
I'm sorry, not the theme music.
For the music and ambiance that we use in our episodes, you can find out more about Michael Guelphie at MichaelGuelphie.com.
Use them for your games.
I've been reading books and listening to Michael Guelphie stuff while I'm reading the books, and it's a good time.
Real good time.
Check them out.
You can check out their Patreon and...
YouTube links in the description.
I'm on the loop box.
Emma's looking for a comment right now.
You should do that, and I'll say more about it after the comment.
Yeah, this comment is by Nurse Ratchet on our Monster Prom video.
Hey, Ratchet!
That's Monster Prom Part 3.
They said, yay, something fun to listen to, little heart.
And why did you name the dance Moose Kaka?
Moose Kaka?
I remember that was me saying that.
It's a word that I was screwing around with.
Moose Kaka?
Probably.
I can't remember what the actual word was.
Because Emma reads things the way that he wants to read things.
By not reading them.
And then he doesn't fix it.
Was this a word?
That's long.
In his jaw, his teeth in his jaw, they just go up and down, and the word comes out.
I...
Man, I think it's awesome.
I wish I could get through a sentence.
Emma does.
Incorrectly.
Root force.
With no heat for the sentence itself.
Root force.
A man who carries a lot of words around every day.
Can you do the dance for us, Emma, and the listeners?
There you go.
It happened.
It's good.
And they also said, I think this was directed towards you, Matt.
They said, I caught you one day.
Oh, this must have been when I was sneaking out of the house.
Yeah, yeah, skipping school.
We're talking about skipping school and going home.
Yeah, that's one of the bad things that I did in my life, and I bring it up every once
in a while.
And she brings that up.
It was a rough moment.
Rough time.
I skipped school once when I was in school.
Did you know that?
Yeah, I mean, you literally live next door to the school.
I would skip school if I lived next door.
Like, go outside.
There's my house.
Fuck.
There was a hole in the fence that some, one of the other, yeah, one of the, never mind.
I was going to say a bad word.
But one of the kids broke a hole in the fence, and I would just crawl under that straight
to my house.
Wow.
Awesome.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
It's not cool.
Kids, stay in school.
Boys, if you're listening, my boys, stay in school.
And also, congratulations, Chris.
I said that in an earlier episode.
Still, I'm thinking about it.
My boy graduated high school.
Woo!
Get the hell out of school.
It's fucking awesome.
Oh, I did graduate high school.
Oh, yeah, good.
Stay with you.
Just in case.
Yeah, so that's from our YouTube channel.
We have that also.
You can check that out.
Also, M.O.D. and Matt have their own YouTube channels, Bamboo Trauma and Sweet Boy Toshio,
respectively.
M.O.D.'s been popping off with that XCOM merch.
Oh, XCOM's really fun.
No, no merch.
Just started to put that idea in his head.
M.O.D.'s committing copyright infringement right now.
And then Matt is also doing a bunch of stuff over on TikTok.
Sweet Boy Toshio, check it out.
I'm having fun.
I'm having fun there.
Check that stuff out.
He's doing Inktober and it's real cool.
Thanks.
You get to see inside his weird brain, his weird little brain.
You can see some of these silly things.
Oh, and Christober is popping off.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Go check out Christober.
But yeah, leave comments on all of the stuff that we talked about, including Michael Gelfie's YouTube.
Do that.
It'd be nice.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Email us at thecursedcaravan at gmail.com if you have any questions and we'll answer them maybe.
Thanks for being.
Oh, all of our contact information is in the description.
You should know that by now.
Thanks for being a traveler on the Cursed Caravan.
Thank you.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
And then we'll just wave to a microphone.
Okay, give me a second.
Yeah, just give her a second.
Oh, you're fucking jets.
Kitty, stop it.
Kitty, stop.
What's happening?
What are you doing?
What's happening?
Bad kitty.
So I'm so sorry, Dad.