As always, Have A Good Day!
Last time we played, you reconfronted an old enemy, that dwarven follower of Droskar.
And after a hefty battle with him, you make your way down a hole or pit in the back of
the room, leading you to yet another floor.
You're minorly inconvenienced by a gargoyle who shows up for a moment before inexplicably
shattering to pieces, leaving you all slightly dusty, if not a little annoyed.
I don't remember that.
Yeah, me barely.
Me barely either.
As you continue on, pressing through the narrow tunnels to explore this floor further, you
soon sneak upon a room where you see a kobold pit boss of sorts.
You would later learn his name is Kepmek, as he leads his crew of kobold miners to
excavate this room.
Kepmek.
Scarab then cleverly has the idea to impersonate someone of great importance within the true
scales, something that very much confuses Kepmek.
But when you reveal the polished obsidian discs that you found when you first came to
Droskar's Crucible, and then smash them brazenly in front of him, he begins to doubt himself.
And through your clever words and the smashing of a second disc, you convince all of them
to believe.
And then you all leveled up!
Yeah, we're level six now.
Oh yeah.
You guys want to talk about the cool stuff you got, or...
We're not.
I kind of want to see if everyone else wants to talk about what they got first.
Yeah, it's okay.
If anybody wants to keep it secret and let it pop out, that's fine too.
It's just if anybody has anything that they're super excited about that they want to be like,
hell yeah, let me talk about this now, you have the floor.
I've got a couple.
I picked up selective energy.
So when I do a burst, I can exclude creatures from it.
Good.
Oh yeah, so now you can, you don't have to heal everything in range.
You can just pick and choose.
Very good.
And risky surgery.
It's the same thing as treating wounds, but it spends one action.
No, no, no.
Risky surgery is different.
This is the one where you deal one D8 of damage and then you heal for like double.
If you roll a success, it's a crit success.
That's what that is.
Yeah, so you do a little damage to heal a lot more.
Yeah, scarab will go.
Aside from just getting stronger and all that, picked up a skill feat glad hand, which if
I read correctly, it'll allow him to use diplomacy when greeting somebody to raise his standing
like right away rather than having to speak for a while.
Oh, I love that.
Oh cool.
So those, ah, I'm scarab.
Like those moments he could actually make something of it, which could be fun to play
with.
Yeah, give an impression off the bat.
Granted with enemies, I don't, it's like a different story depending.
I think it would have been helpful in that last room.
Yeah, I was going to say it's very fitting given recent developments, kind of like you're
falling into your own of being like, wait, I already do this where I do this whole show
and dance for people to get them to buy my stuff.
Why don't I get them to buy my story?
Just more confident in it.
Yeah, I like that.
That one got pistol arrows challenge, which is a risky one where I can choose an enemy
and myself and the enemy will get bonus to our, our damage roles based on my weapon level,
which is mastery.
So it'd be plus three to myself and my enemy of my choosing on our damage roles against
each other.
Against each other.
Okay.
So it's a dual.
Cool.
You and your opponent that you choose both get a plus three to damage.
That's pretty cool.
And I'm hoping, I'm hoping that I've built myself dodgy enough.
It's where I don't just get myself killed.
Yeah.
And then I have one more, one more thing that hopefully I'll show soon.
Okay.
So the kind of boring thing when they got recognized spell.
Is that reaction?
Yeah, it is a reaction.
Because when we were in chervor's fades tower, I, I wanted to know what he was doing.
And since Monet is all about magic, I think it makes sense that she'd want to know what
magic is happening around her.
Yeah.
And putting some of that past book knowledge to work with that newfound curiosity being
like, I wonder if I can use this info to, to actually guess what somebody's doing.
Yeah, exactly.
I like that.
Especially like with her extract elements, if they're using like an element in their
magic that she can use, it's good to know.
And then I also got a new kineticist spell called lightning rod.
Oh yeah.
Essentially she attempts a two action elemental blast.
And if she succeeds, she jams a rod into her foe and they take electrical damage from that.
And then they are more susceptible to her electricity damage.
Wow.
Very cool.
Yeah.
I'm so excited about this.
That should be cool.
No talking.
And then the next room just slam.
Just walk in and start fighting.
Well from where you are, the path that the other kobolds left goes to the west and scared
from where you are now, it's a rather short tunnel.
You can actually see and you kind of recognize the room in front of you by the big refuse
pile that was at the base of the well.
Granted now you can see there's just a bunch of charred zombified kobold corpses.
Still smoking bodies?
Yes.
Nasty, stinky down here.
Gross.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's the base of the well.
So the first time we came down, we just, we were right next to the area that we just did.
Yep.
That's cool.
I wonder if that gargoyle would have kicked our ass if we went in there before in the
before times.
I think the last time you were over here, you were like either just level five or right
about to be level five.
So at level four, probably, but even then I don't think so.
Very unimpressive creature.
Extremely slappable.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Ooh, he's got a hardness and it's like, cool.
Five less damage when everybody's doing like 30.
Sick.
That room of kobolds would have been a pain in the ass.
So that's for damn sure.
Okay.
So we're just chilling in this big room still.
Yep.
In the northeastern part of the room next to Monet, she had moved across the room to
kind of get a vantage point in case something bad happened.
And Monet behind you is a dark tunnel that seems to wind north and then west.
And from it, you can hear what sounds like something you've heard down here before.
Kind of like think croaking.
A lot of croaking.
It's like people dying in the distance.
No.
You heard it when you were in the room where the ambush was.
There was that switch back through the tunnel that headed northeast and you could hear croaking
coming from there.
And by now you've kind of seen enough of them to know.
It sounds like slurks.
Rootmore shudders.
Oh Monet, I have, do you have any more oil?
Like three gold worth of oil?
That's a lot of oil.
Yeah.
We're talking like gallons of oil.
Yeah.
Rootmore got a new spell.
It's called anointed ground.
You sanctify the area, sprinkling it with certain oils and warding it against foes.
Choose a creature type.
The type I'm going to choose is undead off of this list.
And everyone within 30 feet of Rootmore gain a plus one bonus AC attack rolls, damage rolls
and saving throws against the chosen creature.
Oh dang it.
Scarab is just outside of that range.
Lasted 24 hours.
Are you going to drop a bunch of creatures just like between us?
Don't tempt me.
There's a wall.
Silly, here's, no.
That's I mean, do we want to do it to where we actually need the oil or just spend?
I'm okay with you doing the three golds and you can flavor it as using your cooking oils.
Oh yeah.
I don't have any more oil.
Is it three golds worth of oil?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
That is, that is very specific.
If not, cause I mean, that sounds like a shit load of oil.
That's a lot of oil.
Well it depends on, cause it says a various types.
It sounds like $300.
We'll just drag a kiddie pool.
We'll jump in it.
No wonder they can't hit us.
It sounds like various types of oil.
Yes.
And so, you know, some oils are way more expensive than others.
A little thing of truffle oil is like fucking $60 for what's like eight ounces.
Damn.
Yeah.
If we, I'm okay either way.
I'll let you do it.
I'm not going to be super strict on it on this one.
That'll be for another campaign where we're being more gritty and granular.
We haven't done a lot of the material components.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Lucky I'm lazy.
So we'll just, we'll spend three gold for it.
Just rub three gold all over yourself.
I don't have that.
I can get rid of that.
Also, Matt, that was a very, very fun visual image.
Yeah.
Have you all just lived up in baby oil?
I think that's what they're saying here.
It's like, oh, you want to do more damage?
Just light that sword on fire.
It's covered in oil.
It's all fire.
It's just like you guys being a, like you just came out of P Diddy's house and you're
just sliding down the cave floor.
Enemies try to hit you and they just right off of you.
Oh God.
I wonder if those bottles are going to go out like, like the taxes do that people don't
collect.
And it's just going to be like a bunch of floating, the floating jellies out there that
someone needs to pick up.
I think that's government baby oil now.
What are they going to do with it?
That's going right to the Navy.
They're just going to continue.
They're going to continue the job.
So Rootmore just gets a bunch of cooking oil and just pours on him.
He looks like Danny Devito in, uh, in, in, uh, it's always sunny.
He just came out of the couch.
Oh yeah.
He's naked and covered in hand sanitizer.
He's slick and gross.
We play night crawlers.
Takes a minute.
He's just humming.
Oh, hold on.
I'm going to put a emanation around him so they don't forget.
You can do that.
So it's just like, just when we're around Rootmore.
Yeah.
Within 30 feet of him.
Rootmore is the sacred ground.
That's like basically all the time.
That's a lot of space.
Like standing in the center, it takes up this whole room.
This is sacred ground, a feet or is this a spell?
It's a spell.
Are you thinking that it doesn't move, that it stays in one spot?
I'm curious if it is an area, not an area spell, but like if it says you sanctify an
area, then that would insinuate that, you know, like holy ground would be that the ground
is holy, not, not you yourself.
So if you were to move, you'd be leaving the zone.
So I'm trying to double check that because there was another one called, I would just
hope not for three gold.
I know that's a lot for it to be stationary.
It would be more like a king of the hill type thing.
If you know a bunch of shits coming your way, then it's like, I need it.
Or like I'm protecting the church from demons or you know what I mean?
Like a, a stand your ground type spell.
Yeah.
I'm okay with that.
If you want to roll it that way, I just want to be able to read it to see, cause I can't
find it.
I can find sacred ground and that one is saying that one does an area, but not a, I can't
find a nuked ground.
I have it up right here.
It's a little paragraph.
I just don't know why it's not pulling up on archives and net piece.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Now that I'm looking at it, it does kind of look like it is just the area.
I'm also still not seeing anointed ground.
I see sanctified ground.
That's so weird.
What's the text on sanctified ground?
Maybe it's the same name change.
You sanctify the area, sprinkling it with holy water and mourning it against your foes.
Choose aberrations, solicials, dragons, fiends, monitors are undead.
All creatures in the area get a plus one bonus to AC attack rolls, damage rolls and saving
throws against the chosen creatures.
It's exactly the same, except it's, this one says certain oils, yours says holy water.
Yeah.
This one says cost one vial of holy water.
So it's showing anointed ground in starfinder nexus.
Yeah.
That's weird.
Okay.
So maybe, maybe he, cause he makes starfinder app as well.
So maybe he just go.
Maybe he flipped the names.
Yeah.
Maybe he just flipped the names are wrong.
So I think all you need for it isn't the three gold worth of oil.
I think you need a vial of holy water, which I mean, you're a cleric.
You could probably bless water on its own to make holy water.
I think I don't know what the rules are on that.
But yeah, it's, this does look like it says you sanctify the area.
So it would be a, like a 30 foot emanation from where you are.
When you do the ritual for a minute makes that 30 foot area affected by that.
Rootmore starts to pour oil and then he stops.
He said, nevermind.
I don't want to do it here.
I thought it would stick on me.
It's my first time doing this.
I've never, never done it before.
It's okay Rootmore.
It'd be fantastic if you can set up an ambush too, is another way you can do it.
If you can lead people to your holy zone, which I mean with undead wouldn't be hard.
They're always trying to just get closer to you anyway.
Scarab is going to hop off tricky and they're going to start walking towards the center
of the room to the party.
Scarab's going to pull his, he's wearing like a half cape.
Gosh, it's so many things.
It's a hood, it's a shoulder cape over his left shoulder and like a scarf combo and it's
all attached to this pauldron on his right arm.
That's got a, it's got like a wood carving of a green dragon skull on it.
There's a picture up on Instagram if you want to go look.
Yeah, Matt drew it.
It's really cool.
But he's going to take this that's all attached to these rags that are now dragging on the
ground and pull the the the Juwandao that was once Colonel Cobcorn's.
He's going to toss that pauldron on the ground dragon head down.
It's like upside down on the ground.
You see the inside of the pauldron there and he's going to stab this sword into it a couple
times.
He's a small guy, but he's going to find a little nook and just jam this sword into the
back of this pauldron making it unwearable.
But if you need me to do a crafting check, I will.
No, I'm fine.
I think you're fine.
He's just running it into stick.
He's grunting, he's determined and then he lifts this big thing up.
How long is this sword, Emon?
Oh man, it's like a pretty long samurai sword.
So it look, I think I was telling you earlier, it looked like a Dark Souls weapon in Scarab's
hands.
So, just oversized.
Hell yeah.
He's going to take this sword with this dragon adorned top to it and the rags flowing down
beneath to count as some sort of banner.
The other skill that I picked up was Cavalier's Banner.
Scarab sets this into Tricky's, I guess he's got like a saddle.
He's got a saddle, he's got some bags hanging off of it.
Scarab's just going to fasten this thing in there with all the leftover ropes that he's
got.
And this banner hanging off of Tricky is going to give off a 30 foot emanation against fear
effects.
Oh cool.
Anytime we're feared, like Yroumore, he seems flustered.
He's going, ho ho ho ho.
Scarab's like, hey buddy, look at this thing.
Look at this thing and feel a little bit better.
Oh.
Beautiful.
You see it?
Look upon it.
For you now walk beneath the banner of the Kobold of the Hungry Mountain.
We now walk for the earth.
The Queen Mother.
We ride to hell together.
Scarab puts his hands on his waist and he looks off into nothing.
Tell me, tell me about this Queen Mother.
Scarab looks ahead quickly, he adjusts his eyes, looks to Routemore.
This...
Oh boy.
These shards, this obsidian.
Scarab reaches down and he fiddles around at the ground, picking up the black, the murky
black plates that he just tossed there.
The Hungry Mountain, where it came from.
We found this there once too.
This Lady Vregma, you heard the name.
Oh.
The one they were speaking for saying something about finding these.
I can't remember if y'all were talking in common or draconic.
Yeah, I think you may have been talking about...
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
Whoa, whoa, let me take it back.
A lot's going on.
They were gathering these things for somebody, a Lady Vregma.
In Kobold, in Kobold we have the king.
They scream for their king, not the true king.
Not my king.
But they're screaming for one.
The one we see in the dreams.
Yes.
But these.
They're digging.
Digging for a Lady Vregma.
Means nothing.
A name.
A lady name.
Nothing wrong with ladies.
Kobold have ladies too.
It's just rare that you'd hear something like that here.
My people.
The Queen Mother.
A fake creature.
She came from inside the mountain.
Scarab kicks some of the obsidian.
She came from this.
From the obsidian?
I'm putting two and two together.
I think I may have found over which.
I'm shaking.
Oh, look up at the banner.
Feels good.
Hey, so I heard some croaking back here.
Yeah.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah.
Should probably go take care of it.
Yeah.
Scarab reloads just in case he hadn't reloaded.
Puts another bullet next to the first bullet.
He's just putting them.
This is going to really hurt the next guy.
He's putting them in all the holes.
Not even loading them through the chamber, but through the top of the barrel, just dropping
them in.
He's actually fastened a couple rubber bands so he can slingshot them from the gun as well.
Nice, nice, nice.
One trigger pull just blows up the gun.
What do you all want to do?
Scarab's going to climb up onto Tricky.
What's the size of this deal?
This hole?
Pretty narrow.
Probably wouldn't necessarily.
Could be a bit of a squeeze for Tricky, but you'd be able to work your way through without
too much trouble.
It's only tall enough to where, Monet, you'd have to duck your head down just a little
bit, but not enough for you to have to crawl.
Scarab's going to get back off of Tricky just because he doesn't want to scrape his
head.
Monet's going to turn into a cat.
Just kidding, just kidding.
Turn into a smaller Monet.
Is that allowed?
Turn into a whole cat.
Why not?
Why not just turn smaller?
Come on, let's go.
Accidental Monet with a cat with a Monet face.
Monet with a cat face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It didn't change back all the way though, since it's your blank face, but there's just
a little cat head in the middle of it.
And she's still standing like a cat, but human body.
Monet, why are you doing that?
I hate all of this.
What are y'all doing?
Scaring.
I'm scared.
She's processed.
Dupore looks at the banner again.
Scarab will be in the way back.
I'm down to go if you go first.
Monet's going to channel her elements, even though it's already shown that her elements
are channeled.
Just going to make sure that they are in fact channeled.
Dupore's going to raise his new shield, the blowy uppy shield.
Oh yeah.
Let me see what happens with that.
Is that its actual name, the blowy uppy shield?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Mark two.
Exploding shield.
Rupemore, do me a favor and move your token.
Away?
Yeah.
No, just back and forth.
Away.
Thank you.
You can put it back now.
Ooh.
I'm going to look down this crevice for tripwires and falling debris and dangerousness.
Yeah, Monet wants to look up at the ceiling to see if there are any nets full of rocks.
31 perceptional.
Or nets full of other...
No nets full of rocks.
Nets full of soggy fish heads though.
Delicious.
Probably fine.
You can't really see past Rupemore's shield.
I just want to know how they're soggy.
Yeah, right.
Monet, if you stop crawling on your hands and knees.
Well, she's got to duck down.
He's just got a shield and he's like...
So, like, behind his shield and just his beard poofing out on the sides.
She's like...
It's very humid in here.
I can't see anything.
I'm blind!
She starts screaming.
Monet, stop part of it!
So you slowly begin moving down the tunnel, being very careful to keep an eye out for any traps or any nets or anything dangerously looking, as you put it.
Wait, can I change...
Open your eyes, Rupemore.
Can I change what I said for Monet?
Yeah, would you?
Because I rolled a natural one, so I wanted to look up at the sky to look for, like, nets of rocks and then a pebble falls in.
Okay, you are permanently blind.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Your eye turns to stone.
That's exactly what I was hoping for.
Talk about channeling the earth.
Just slowly lose one appendage over time.
Lost your hand, now you lost an eye.
As you come to a turn in this crevice that you guys are walking through, it begins to veer to the west, and you slowly become more and more aware of a voice being drowned out a little bit by the croaking, but you can barely make out what it's saying, but it sounds like it's in draconic.
Ugh.
Scarab.
Yes?
I don't know, they're talking like you.
What's that supposed to mean?
Draconic.
Oh, they're from California.
Yes, yes, let me through, let me through.
Scarab's going to squeeze past everybody as quietly as he can.
Okay, go ahead and give me a stealth check.
He's going to listen as loudly as he can.
That's a 29 stealth.
That's a really good stealth.
Okay, I can see from where you are it's pretty hard to make out exactly what's being said.
Every once in a while you catch a word in between the chorus of croaking that's going on.
Stray word like they're not, don't, nothing that's like making any sense to you.
Maybe if you were to get closer you might be able to hear a bit better.
Scarab's going to check, is it getting smaller?
Via the map I'm looking at it looks like it's squeezing up, is it getting smaller the further in?
I'm going to reveal it a little bit more but yeah it does seem like the tunnel kind of begins to narrow a little bit more.
Not really a problem for you.
Okay, he wants to sneak, he wants to squeeze through but he is also checking for pressure plates, strings, ropes, mounted artillery, weapons.
Logs, boulders.
Axe, man holding axe.
Fire.
Smoke.
A ring of this stuff.
Water.
In this tiny hole.
Poison.
There's a man holding poison and a man holding axe you have to choose one.
Which do you see?
Just a shark laying on the ground snapping at you.
And you're so hungry.
You want to eat that shark so bad.
I'm going to go ahead and scoot you up a little bit.
Oh no!
What? Who that?
Alright.
As you creep a little further you kind of wedge your way into this narrow part of the tunnel.
And now the croaking is even louder but so is this draconic voice speaking and as you peer from around the corner you can make out more of the room in front of you.
Seems like yet another large chamber smaller than the last one you were in.
Large chamber smaller than the last one.
And you note the croaking is coming from slurks that seem to be in like pseudo cages or kennels.
You can see two of them on the southern part of this room and you can see two more on the western back wall.
Loudly croaking and kind of hopping in place excitedly. There's a soft like plopping and squelching as their slime slick bellies collide with the bottom of their cages.
Oh and we know that slurks speak right? Did we find that out?
They understand. I don't think they speak.
I'm sorry.
What are you making wide mouth about?
Because I just remembered something.
Say say.
Because you were saying that it it seemed like you were suggesting that this might be a difficult area for Tricky to get into.
Mm hmm.
Do you think you could squeeze into where like me and Rootmawr are?
He can make it in. It's just it's going to be a little slower for him is all.
Monet can destroy material elements that are natural.
Wow.
Is he going to do Minecraft or what?
Yes. So he could widen this tunnel for Tricky.
Okay. What do you need for that? Is it loud and how much time?
That's why. Exactly. Well let me see about time.
Okay. While you think about that we'll see we'll say this is Monet trying to put together an idea while Scarab's trying to figure out what's going on.
Scarab among the slurks, four in all in these kennels. There's one in the northern central part of the room.
And it's from there that you can hear the draconic voice. There is a small kobold standing next to this slurk.
He's dressed in all black leather and he's it seems like he's maybe coddling or consoling this slurk.
He's like almost hugging him and like patting him and he's speaking softly.
There there Kubo. No it's not your fault. Don't feel guilty.
He was him. He was not ready. He simply wasn't ready. He didn't understand the power of your legs.
As you're looking you can see on top of the slurk is a somewhat mangled kobold corpse.
He got smashed against the ceiling. Stuck to the back of the slurks sticky body and his head is caved in.
Absolute buffoon. You guessed correct.
It seems the slurk at some point probably jumped too high and brained the kobold rider.
Noobs. Noobs. All of them. Foolish. Not hungry mountain kobold.
And this other kobold clad in black seems to be trying to offer some sort of comfort to this Kubo telling him it's not his fault.
The guy wasn't ready.
Alright, Scarecrow's going to army crawl backwards much longer than he needs to.
Stand up, turn to face, root more and moan.
Slurk holding cells. Cages. You know. Places where they sleep.
They're all locked up but there is a kobold and a freed slurk.
Just ready for an ambush if we want to go that way.
So, here's the situation. It's two actions. Base kinesis.
What are you talking about Monet?
Oh she's telling me about this new spell she has. She goes again gamifying everything.
It's like my base spell. The only reason I'm remembering it is because I actually wrote down all of my stuff and I was like why don't I use this?
Love it.
But yeah, so it's two actions. So about four seconds.
It's up to one bulk. So it would take a little while to do to clear out. Not like a very very long time but probably a couple of minutes.
Doesn't talk about sound but I mean.
What's the description of the spell? What does it do?
It's trivial for you to create some of your element or alter a portion of it that already exists.
Choose one of your kinetic elements to affect. This impulse has a range of 45 feet and the bulk of the target must be up to one.
The GM decides what bulk the element is. You can't affect an element that's magical.
Secured in place like stone, mortared wall.
So you're in a place like stone? Well like a stone mortared wall. So like it's not a comma. That's all one thing. Yes.
So it like also in the well let me just continue reading the thing.
Or like stone mortared in a wall.
Or attended by a creature unwilling to let you choose one of the following options though the GM might allow you to make similar small alterations based kinesis can't deal damage or cause conditions unless otherwise noted.
So suppress you destroy an existing piece of element such as snuffing out of flame or evaporating water from a cup.
This affects only natural forms of the element not durable crafted goods like a stone statue metal lock or wooden door.
So like if this is like a cave that has just been like carved out then she should be able to like basically erode it.
Yeah. Okay. So I think it would personally I think it probably would cause like crumbling sounds.
Yeah my hesitation is there there is a spell called shape stone and I don't know what level that is but that's like it's a pretty early one I think.
Well and like that's the thing is it kind of does have like shape stone stuff because there's also move and generate.
So I can also like summon if I was using stone I could summon natural stone.
Or like because I have air I could summon air from the airplane for us to breathe.
And I can move existing elements so I could like move a rock.
When do we play the campaign also have destroyed when you play a campaign where we're house flippers.
The the only thing I have reservations about is normally shape stone is like a fourth level spell and having it as like an innate free thing makes me think that it's something that Piso specifically would not want to be on par with it.
Power wise because they're pretty notorious about that I mean even in your thing they're like yeah you can manipulate elements but not when somebody else has put multiple of them together.
Like you know what I mean like if you can shape wood why wouldn't you be able to shape a wooden door but the rules be that way so it makes me think that it would be possible but very inefficient.
Yeah, I would let you do it is what we're getting to.
I just want to put like a curb on the expectation that you'd be able to do anything necessarily crazy with it down.
Yeah, I wouldn't think necessarily crazy with it which is the only like that's why I was like oh because we're we have all these small tunnels.
I didn't even know if I'd be able to do it right now necessarily without even getting into turn based and then for me to continue to do it I'd have to use two actions every time.
Could I throw out a fun little idea that we could do that you could do it and make it do it cool. Like what if there's like a stalagmite and or stalactite or whichever one and you just like take out part of it and it takes out like a big like a two foot chunk of the room.
Know I'm saying.
Oh, like if it were to like fall down.
Oh, if I hit this piece tink tink tink like a whole big section fucks off.
Just an idea we don't have to do that.
Yeah, I wasn't thinking of it like her building a wall because it's like one bulk so she were to just, you know, like she can't make a tunnel.
No, I know what you're saying you're trying to talk about like widening the gap by just being like shaving it a little bit.
But it also might not be like like make sense right now because it's a bulk now for like later, like if we went to go fight the like earlier when we went to go fight the dwarf in like tricky wasn't able to come in then after we fought the dwarf that I could probably stand there with my name just kind of like erode the wall a little bit so he could actually like come join us.
Yeah, but I just wanted to throw it out there that it's a thing that I remembered that I can do.
It doesn't have to be now because it will probably lead to combat which will put us in turn based and then it'd be like very like MAP efficient.
Could be best just to have tricky squeeze.
We've been doing pretty good we could probably take care of all of them before tricky gets in there right.
Yeah, we just have to guard the cages because you know as soon as I see us they're going to run up and start unlocking the cages.
You're gonna have to be very careful.
They could swallow me.
I'll remember these things.
Watch my back, please flashback when he almost died fighting these things.
It is based kinesis if you want to look at it.
I'm fine with you doing it.
I'm fine with you doing it to shave it you decide when the best time is and then you know we'll just react accordingly to that.
I do agree I think it probably make you know with something like stone or whatever probably make at least the sound of like stone grinding on stone.
But yeah, but you know you can do with that what you will.
Yeah, we don't have to do it.
I just thought it was a cool thing.
I bet it's awesome in like a desert because you can essentially like shaping moving sand would be relatively easy.
So it's like if you were just to do that continuously you could like take it down at the bottom like a sand tumbler.
You just dig at the bottom you make a nice big old slide up there.
So what's your plan?
Be very, very quiet.
Very, very quiet.
I mean I'd like to get I'd like to get tricky as far in as I can honestly may have to keep tricky out of this one.
Mostly, but whatever amount of squeezing you need me to do.
We'll just do difficult terrain for him on the more narrow parts.
Half, half.
Yeah, 10, 10 feet of space.
Got that.
I think the coolest thing about base kinesis is if which like I wish I remembered it when we got like swallowed up by the jelly.
Those because she can just call.
I don't know if you had air at that point, but you can just call air.
Make an air bubble.
And make an air bubble so she could breathe.
Yeah, I'd like to get up as close as Rootmore can go before he has to start making stealth checks.
Everyone before he come up here.
I'm going to do a stealth check.
Scared of what's good as far as he can go first.
Okay, where are you looking to move?
I want to get at least to the to the very entrance to get as most as much of the room as possible.
Sneaking as hardcore as he can.
Couldn't give me that stealth check while I do a little polygon reveal.
I think I'd also like to have Monet's stealth though.
Are they allowed to move at all before?
Just that way that they're not like a million feet away from us.
For me. From the fight.
Well, what I can do is Rootmore is going to raise his shield and then ready in action.
23 stealth.
I'm also having Monet's stealth forward.
And would you get Monet?
Sorry Scarab, I got a seven.
Hey, I just wanted to be over. Hey, I just wanted to be right here.
Rootmore, what were you doing when this happens?
He raised his shield and he's readying an action.
If they get alerted his action is to just run 20 feet closer.
Okay.
Yeah, I feel like Monet is trying to stealth up, but she's also really interested.
So she keeps trying to peek over Scarab and just bonking her head on the ceiling.
She's like, oh shit.
Fist stuck in wall, pull fist out, cave collapse, Rootmore separated.
She bonks her head, she goes to touch her head and then she takes her metal fist and punches the wall.
Oh shit.
This is different when there's not a door.
Because usually with doors you just walk right up to the door and be like, you ready?
Yeah, it's like we could be stuck in a hallway, which could be beneficial to us.
Alrighty. So Scarab, you slink a little bit closer, getting a better view of the room.
And as you do, you can see to your right, there's kind of like a pile of rocks and rubble with a tiny alcove behind them
that you imagine if you wanted to, you could probably squeeze behind, although it would be a tight fit.
As you creep up, you're surveying and watching.
Nothing really changes, the slurks are all kind of croaking in place.
They don't even seem to see you or notice you at all.
Their croaks vary from excited, almost like barking croaks to more subtle, like thrumming croaks of the ones that are kind of like
chilling out and the other ones that are still a little excited at one of the kobolds getting brained.
It's like going to the vet, but it's just big frogs.
Exactly.
And as you're kind of like here surveilling and trying to get like your bearings on everything,
you can see in the northern part of the room, it seems like some kind of rough-hewn stairs that are going down.
We love stairs.
Down? Jesus.
Down, down, down, down.
It looks like there's, it's not like a sheer drop or anything like that.
You can just kind of see what it looks like. It might be a hallway that's leading down.
You don't even know how far. It could be, you know, 10 feet down. It could be 40 feet down. Who knows?
Take a moment.
There's still so much on this.
Take a moment. Give it up for this cave.
As you're taking all of this in and trying to think about what you want to do next,
you hear a sudden like hollow thunk behind you,
and you look back in time to see Monet grabbing the top of her head,
and a small bit of rock breaks off from the top of the tunnel and clatters on the floor next to you.
Small, fairly quiet, you almost think that nothing would hear you,
except the slurk nearest to you turns in its cage and then begins letting out a loud bellowing croak.
Then the one next to him also turns and begins letting out the same croak.
The two on the opposite room soon follow suit,
and the kobold clad in black turns and he sees you.
Yes, he does.
Kubo! Intruders Kubo!
And he grabs the kobold corpse on Kubo and he pulls,
and with a sickening, popping, squelching noise, he comes free from the sticky back of this slurk,
and he slings himself onto the back of it, pulling out a crossbow, before yelling,
Charge!
Roll for initiative.
Alright.
Oh boy.
Here we go.
That's... that's not good.
We do retroactive pee-pee?
We do. We do it.
What is?
Can I use my previous stealth roll as my initiative?
You can use stealth as your modifier if you'd like.
Because you were sneaking.
No.
It's worse.
That won't change a natural one.
No, that won't.
I still get to move ten paces though.
No, that's not my turn.
Fuck.
Damn.
Let me triple check.
I want to get out of the way.
And I don't get a reaction until it's been my turn, right?
Is that how that works?
Normally, yes, but we made a table rule that you can use your initiative,
or you can use your reaction and then just not have it on your next turn.
Okay, so it just counts for the round.
I like that. I'm in.
What'd you get, Monet?
Sorry.
I was throwing the little popper on myself.
Put a foot on the table.
I didn't put my foot on the table. I held up my foot.
Very proud of that.
Why?
Because I got little toe beans on my sock.
On my sock?
I just thought I'd show it to my friends.
That's pretty cool.
And you rolled a...
I'm going to tell you that I rolled a 26.
That's what I'm going to tell you.
Scarab, what'd you get?
I'm sorry, dude.
I usually turn off one playlist and put on another one,
but this ambience going on with the Lorna Shore is really...
No, it's good. I like it.
...vibing.
I mean, 15.
Okay, that's not terrible for a natural one.
I got that in-cra-ji-ble initiative.
In-cra-ji-ble.
And Rudy.
That 20 on the die gives me a 34.
Wow.
Big magic.
Here we go.
Hoo hoo hoo.
Well, Ru-more, you hear the yell of charge,
and you immediately burst into action.
I believe you had a held action, so you're spending your first to run forward 20 feet?
Not that he's going first.
I'm going to save that reaction since he's going first.
What was I going to say? Oh, I remember now.
Part of me was thinking, what god does Ru-more worship?
Brother!
It's been a while.
You're going to lose your powers!
Uh-oh. A sense of bad vision.
It's tori time!
Blah, blah, blah.
Five, ten, fifteen, twenty.
So, when you're moving diagonally, I know the second diagonal is 10 feet.
Yep, it's every other, so it's five, ten, five, ten.
Let's say I end my move making a diagonal move since I'm using a second action.
Is that still doing 10 feet, or does it go back down to five feet?
No, still 10.
Because it's about distance traveled, not how many actions you had to do to travel it.
Okay, so 20 movement speed, so five, ten, fifteen, twenty.
And then ten, fifteen, twenty.
That's more than enough.
All three actions runs right up in this dude's face.
Sheesh! Sheesh!
Good evening! My name is Ru-more Redmane.
Prepare to die.
As you charge into the room, you can see this slur begin to swell the boba's throat of the frog underneath.
Just making itself look as big as possible, and it kind of rears back.
And this covauld sneers at you as he pulls an arrow and a crossbow out.
It's his turn.
He pulls out a crossbow, and the arrow that he pulls out, he quickly dips down to his side.
The rest of you can't quite see, but Ru-more, you're close enough to notice that it dips into a vial attached to his side.
We'll see if that actually happens with my reactive strike!
Strike!
Come on, baby! I want to...
Who are you slinging at?
Well, I guess it'd have to be at him, because he's the only one that triggers.
Yeah.
Power of Doran!
I'm gonna use my daily PP for this one.
Good luck.
Definitely won't be too low numbers.
Two scrots!
Eighteen on the die!
Weapon, weapon!
Ooh, plus sixteen to hit. That's, uh... let's see...
Thirty-four!
Eek!
Barely a crit.
Damn!
Oh, yes!
Yes, finally!
Crit!
Crit all over him.
Oh, dang it. I screwed up.
Uh-oh.
Yeah...
I'm gonna have to own up to it and just let you do it, but the entirety of this room, Ru-more,
the entire time you're running through the cave, you can't help but notice as your feet are sticking to the floor.
It's greenish!
That slurped slime seems to be all over the floor and walls of this cave, making everything difficult terrain.
Bro, was the room always greenish?
It was always greenish.
Oh, you started talking and I was like, the floor, my god!
Difficult terrain?
Yes.
He would have made it anyway, because his last action, he only moved like five feet to get right up next to him.
So, the thing is, is it's from here... I can't freaking ping right now.
This is difficult terrain, this is difficult terrain, and this is difficult terrain.
And so, when I soft you with these three...
I'm trying to remember my damage. Oh, no!
I don't know.
I'm accepting it either way, I'm just saying it's the entire...
Like, basically just one north of Scarab and everything else is all difficult terrain.
I don't remember where I was.
You were right here.
It doesn't matter.
Okay.
Damage, my damage, I gotta tell you my damage, 30. 30 bludgeoning.
Wow. That's a lot of damage.
Oh!
And because it's a critical that will interrupt him dipping the bolt.
So, for his second action, he is going to grab a bolt, and he's going to free action, dip it into that vial.
I'm so sorry, before that, I need a fortitude save.
Why are you the way that you are?
23.
That is... God dang it, that is a pass.
Hooray.
He's going to shoot you point blank with that poison bolt.
Shkoo!
That's a 30 hit.
That does hit.
Yeah. Okie dokie.
Rolling damage.
11 points of piercing damage.
And...
I have to look up that particular poison.
I'm going to need a fortitude save.
Here we go!
Come on baby, don't fail me now.
I'm 16.
That's a pretty good roll.
That is a fail.
Ah!
You can feel whatever green liquid he dipped that bolt into is seeping into your blood.
It causes a burning sensation that does 4 points of poison damage.
I feel gross!
And for his last action, he barks down to his mount.
Kubo!
Feed!
No.
Does he have that action though?
Because he lost the first one, the second one he drew, the third one he fired.
Right?
Do your math being good.
You're correct.
Hell yeah.
Good save.
Alright, that makes it Monet.
Don't let him open the cage!
Hey, Monet.
Monet, it's gross in here!
So.
So then from here it is all difficult terrain?
Correct.
I'm also going to need a reflex save.
Should I roll in two for shit syndrome?
No, I screwed up on yours so you got off scot-free.
17.
That is a fail.
As you begin to move across the floor, its slippery, sticky nature makes your feet kind
of wiggle about.
You don't fall down prone or anything like that, but you have to halt your movement and
be a bit more careful so that movement action is going to end in that spot.
Okay.
And then as you go to move again, you're going to have to move a little bit more.
Okay.
And then as you go to move again, you're going to have to do another and so on.
Every time you try to move through one of these squares, that's going to happen.
Oh damn.
Okay.
That was cool.
That was fun.
So these little guys here?
Mm-hmm.
They're in cages?
Correct.
Okay, so Monet's elements will start kind of swirling around her, letting off a metallic
hum.
And she will not do that, actually, because that's three actions.
Yeah.
She's going to do it.
She's going to drop a tremor.
Okay.
Cool.
The center is here.
Did you move yourself?
No, I didn't.
That's why I was moving myself to check the aura.
It will hit both Rootmore and Monet.
Okay.
Along with all four of the frog boys.
Is that what you wanted it?
That's actually way better.
Yeah.
So yeah, I'll do that.
Okay.
And so that requires what?
A save for me or just a damage?
Yes, it requires us, all of us have to do a four-teeth save.
All of the frogs, that guy and Rootmore and Monet have to do a four-teeth save.
Amazing.
Okay.
Amazing.
I'm just going to start rambling off numbers at you.
So please be ready for tell me success or fail.
24.
Success.
23.
Success.
Hell yeah.
Natural one.
Oh.
A failure.
Critical failure.
Natural one.
Oh my God.
13.
That is a failure.
Okay.
So that's four frogs.
And then I'll do the.
Kubo is a different one.
Kubo's is a 24.
That is a success.
And for the kobold, 27.
That is a success.
So all of the successes, including me and Rootmore, will take half damage.
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry to us.
Half, I'm sure it's fine.
There's like 15 D100s or something.
Maybe something on the whole fucking floor just gives out.
Is this Ninja Turtles?
I want to watch that.
I want to watch Rafael fight them on the roof again.
Such a good one.
So it's 17 damage.
So.
Eight.
For those who succeeded.
And is it double for the crit fails?
Is it a basic?
No, no, it's not double.
Does crit fail do anything?
No.
Okay.
I just take damage.
And that is Monastir and I'm so sorry it took so long.
I'm sorry.
All right.
Four more slurks join initiative.
Is difficult terrain also again.
Yeah.
Four times speed.
But now it's difficult terrain for them.
Also.
Cause I imagine that the sticky wasn't difficult.
I think, I think it does go up a stage of difficulty.
Yeah.
I think the thing.
Quarter speed.
There's like this one and then there's like.
Undoable terrain.
Just until the start of Monastir.
Next turn.
Root more to your left.
The slur in that cage begins to swell before it opens its mouth and lets out a.
And shoots a slime ball at you.
Greater difficult terrain.
That's what it's called.
Twenty five.
Oh no.
That's a hit.
Okay.
Does not do damage, but as this ball of a frog's hot loogie slaps you in the side of the head.
You find it's now very difficult to move.
You are clumsy one and you have minus five foot penalty to speed for one hour or until the slime is removed.
I'm already slow.
One hour.
The slime can be removed with a total of three interact actions by the engulfed creature or by creatures adjacent to the creature.
Entangled, sorry not engulfed.
These actions don't have to be consecutive or made by the same creature.
For its second action, it begins to bear its tusks against its cage and so it's going to slam against the cage.
This is the AC of a door.
There's a table called a material statistics.
I'm using that table.
So you just see after this thing cocks slime at you.
It begins slamming into its cage door.
And after that is Kubo.
You see Kubo's stomach begin to swell as well, but rather than haka loogie at you, it rears back on two legs slamming forward attempting to shove you.
Huh.
Oh my God.
Okay.
So this one token is two people.
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay.
I see.
Look at his honest lurk like a mini boss type deal.
Also, I don't think that token is the guy we're looking at because it looks like a fish frog man in a while.
Where in my country clothes?
It's a real mess.
Does a 23 beat your fortitude DC?
It does.
Okay.
So it is going to shove you backwards five feet.
I'm actually going to need a acrobatic save for you.
Reflex.
I actually need to double check that.
Make sure it is.
Make sure it is reflex and not acrobatics because now I'm being dumb.
Okay.
There it is.
Sorry.
That's actually an acrobatics check with balance.
I'll do.
We'll just do a reflex on this one because he's forcing your movement.
It's balanced on your own turn for an acrobatics check to move across it.
23.
That's enough.
You don't.
You don't fall down.
You don't fall down on that, but you are knocked five feet away from Kubo here.
And then with Kubo's second action, he's going to hop five feet backwards.
And it's Scarab's turn.
Scarab it.
All right.
First things first.
Scarab is going to get use of his 10 paces.
Would you allow him?
Okay.
Would Scarab be able to get in that spot with 10 feet of movement?
A diagonal?
Yes.
Yeah.
You'll be moving into the difficult terrain.
So everything from here is going to be difficult.
Do I want to do that?
Screw it.
Or he's standing there.
Yeah.
Whatever.
You rudimentary rag tag imbeciles.
Not a wet floor sign in sight.
Scarab fires at the kobold on top of the slur.
I'm going to use my daily PP on that.
Yes, go to use them.
Garbage.
I thought for a second you were about to tell me you also did a fucking critical like everyone.
No.
I was like, again?
Throw the five and a six for a...
Oh no.
Still might hit though.
Make sure I got all my things in.
23 to hit.
23 hits exactly.
Yes.
Jeez, got to get higher than a six.
Oh no.
I hope that's not a problem today.
Reggie, Reggie, Reggie.
It's going to be nine damage.
Magical piercing, concealable, concussive, uncommon.
Cold iron, low grade.
Sparkly gold leaf.
This is so stupid.
Whatever.
Scarab after firing at this man and just barely hitting him says, I'm so sorry.
I was trying to hit the guy behind you.
Up the stairs.
I'm going to attempt to deceive.
Up the downstairs.
That will make him turn around.
Wait, which way did the stairs even go?
Oh shit.
Yes, to deception check.
That's a little better.
28.
That's a pass.
Okay, so he's going to be flat footed to this shot.
Yeah, he turns around.
Oh!
Is it better than a six?
No.
I rolled a four.
I rolled a four and I did some math.
Because I would get, well no, I'd be technically rolling a six, but then minus.
Minus four for them.
Four, so no.
No.
Just fucking shots firing down the hallway.
Fail.
Oh well.
And Tricky's going to get a free action to move.
He's got 35 feet of movement.
So, like here.
I moved two squares.
Did you make the deception roll though?
I did.
Yeah, so he's flat footed.
He just didn't get hit.
Yeah, that's it.
Now it's the rest of the slurks.
Scare of the slurk next to you is actually the one that goes next.
As you approach, all the chaos has driven them basically rabid.
And it is going to try to tusk you through the bars of its cage with its long fangs.
Natural one.
Oh yeah!
That's a card.
Third one of the night.
Did you poop in your pants?
Oh, he's not named.
Oh wait, we did that for fumbles anyway.
Yeah, always on the fumbles.
No one gets out alive.
Alright, yeah.
So as this slurk begins to rear back and try to bite you, its webbed foot slams on the base of its cage.
And it kicks up some of the old slime that has kind of like crusted over and it sends up a cloud of this gross boogery dust.
And it gets inside of the eyes, the big eyes of this slurk, and it immediately winces in pain and rears back, its eyes watering.
It is blinded until the end of its next turn.
That's nasty!
Hell yeah.
Dried eye boogers.
It's going to try again, so we're going to do a DC flat check first.
16, so I make the flat.
Swing with MAP.
Natural one.
Oh!
Oh my god!
We love this!
Did you poop in your pants?
I feel like I did.
I see it.
The second time this creature tries to bite at you, its tusk collides with one of the bars of its cage, snapping its tooth and it begins to bleed.
It has one persistent bleed damage.
Oh my god.
This poor guy, I feel bad.
I imagine they're in just extremely small cages and they're just like pushing up against the bars because they're so big.
Yeah, it's just going to swing a third time.
It's not going to be good.
That one is just a miss.
Natural seven.
Scared me for a second.
Because it looks like a one.
We move to slurred number three, the one to his left.
All three ones, is it permadeath?
Yeah, I think so.
I'll just leave.
Just go to jail.
Don't go.
Rueboar, now that you've been shoved next to this thing's cage as you stumble backwards, it tries to bite at you with its tusks.
Oh no!
Reaching to nip at your backside, 90 13 on the die.
That's a 24-word a hit.
That fucking hits.
Because I'm clumsy.
Okay, that's going to do 11 points of piercing damage.
Gah!
11, 11, 11, 11.
Just going to keep trying to gore you from where it is.
So second one with MAP is a miss with a natural eight and a third one.
Get it out of the way quick.
That is a 10.
Does an 11 hit you?
That is a miss.
All right.
Well, there you go.
Stop it.
On to my butt.
Slurk number two.
That is the southernmost of the two on the west side of the cave.
That one is going to...
You know what?
That one's going to rear back and it's also going to let out a huck just right at you, Scarab.
It's going to try.
You're going to get a little cover bonus because of that cage.
There, we said it.
We said the meme for the podcast.
I don't think that hits with a 15.
Doesn't hit.
It's going to huck one at you, Monet.
That'd be a 15, which is also a miss.
And for its third, it's just going to try to bash against the cage.
Ooh, 99.
Okay.
So it does hit the cage.
Minus, minus.
99 with two minuses, it'll be plus one.
So 20 to hit the cage door.
I hope he did.
I think so.
Just give him something.
Elusive doors.
And that's the end of round one bringing us back around.
I feel like dogs with sticks trying to go through a doorway.
What?
Rootmore, you're up.
Hold it.
Okay.
You push me.
I come to you.
So every step, I got to roll reflex.
You got to do a balance check or you lose the action, essentially.
Was that reflex or acrobatics?
Acrobatics.
Rootmore's going to stay where he's at.
I'm not rolling with a minus four acrobatics.
Actually, that's impossible for you.
It's a DC 18.
Oh my god.
Yeah, you can't.
Oh, Jesus.
You're just standing in like a...
You got it.
Give it a go.
In like a 1-16 scale Mordor right now.
Does Rootmore really believe in impossibilities?
Well, even if he did pass that, you also have to remember he's in four times difficult terrain right now and has minus five to his base foot speed because of that goo that's on him.
He's God's favorite princess.
I remember that flashback.
In the woods?
I'm lost.
I don't see how to get rid of clumsy.
You're going to be clumsy as long as you're covered in that goo.
Yeah, it's going to be...
Oh, okay.
He said that.
It's going to be an hour unless you want to sit there and brush it off with your brush.
That's going to be an action.
Yeah, how many actions is it to get rid of?
Three actions total.
Oh, no, we're not going to do that.
They don't have to be consecutive.
So you do one now, one later, whatever, and it doesn't all have to be by you.
Other people can spend one of their actions to help de-goo you.
Ah, no, they're just going to keep spitting.
Three actions covered again.
That's comedy, baby.
Clears face, face covered again.
Come on.
It's good.
It's gold.
Come on.
Hey, where did that goo come from?
One of these goo's is not like the others.
Ew.
It was the go-bald.
The goo-bald.
Yeah, Rootmawr, your first action, he's going to raise his shield.
Second action, points his hammer at the go-bald, the guy with the bow and arrow, the one that
he hit.
Oh, scared.
No, stop it.
In a past life.
The guy that he hit with the bow and arrow.
And he's going to.
Not a guy with a bow and arrow, I'm sorry.
Oh, what do you have?
Crossbow?
Yeah.
This whole time I thought it was like one character.
You heard of he has a crossbow?
And he's holding an arrow.
That's what he's running with.
He's shooting crossbow and he's holding an arrow.
Divine Lance!
There you go.
Now you get it.
Matt's listening.
That's exactly what that man was doing.
28.
To hit.
For a Divine Lance, that hits.
Does crossbow have a load?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Reload one.
It's just bow and arrows that be like.
Reload zero, yeah.
Some thrown weapons have that.
Shuriken have reload zero.
I think darts.
It's so cool.
I think darts, like I think a blowgun has reload zero.
Poison's just so expensive.
Turn spiritual damage.
Okay.
Dang, that's.
Shot through the heart.
Lots of Jesus.
That is it.
Very slimy and rocky in here.
I can't move at all.
Got slime in my mouth.
Who's talking?
Blum, blum, blum, blum.
I'm just kidding.
Just talking and looking up.
Bubbles forming around your mouth.
I'm becoming a gelatinous cube.
Why do they know what my cousin felt?
Look over here, you coward.
I literally can't move.
This sucks.
Oh, Roombor, I also need a fortitude save from you again, sir.
Ah, the poison.
The poison.
Fortitude.
That is a 19.
That's a good roll.
Okay.
One point of poison damage.
Minus one, not minus 41.
Oh my god.
You can do that if you want to.
I don't want to.
Roombor is permanently dead.
And sad.
It's sad.
Sad one.
Is my name still sad?
Is that still affecting her?
No.
Right.
Shoot her over.
Is anyone affected by anything aside from your clumsy?
Your wetness?
It's reflex, acrobatics, stealth, thievery, ranged weapons.
Yeah, we'll just get you cleaned up.
We'll get you cleaned up after this, right?
Alright, Roombor, as you see your holy bolt strike this kobold, when he leans forward again, you can see just over his overly long snout and green scales, his yellow eyes fill with fear.
And he, with another wet pop, unsticks himself from the back of the slurk, turns around and leaps down the stairs behind him.
Hold them off, Kubo! Hold them off!
And he runs.
Oh no.
Cool.
Reactive shot.
Reactive kill.
Power Word, get back here!
He's dead now.
Power Word, stop it.
I know what you're doing so you have to stop.
So one of his actions is going to be to command Kubo, and then his other two are going to be to run away.
Calling mom.
So, Kubo leans back and starts hitting y'all with that hawk's wye.
He's going to shoot one at Monet.
That is 25 to hit. It is because of that.
We don't do Poopoo Man, we just spit on that thing.
Okay, no damage. Same as with Rootmore, you are now clumsy one and you have a minus 5 to your move speed for an hour.
Three actions to remove the goo, and that will get rid of Clumsy.
Do I need to do a quarter tooth save?
Nope, that's not poisonous.
Nice.
Just really gross.
Okay, so Clumsy.
Mmhmm.
Not much else new there.
And then Kubo's going to move... Does your Earthquake do persistent damage? Does it keep going?
No.
Okay, okay.
It's just difficult terrain until the start of my turn.
It's going to hop over to the Slurk Cage nearest to it and it's going to slam into the cage.
And that hits.
And the cage flies open.
Oh no.
I think that's pretty dumb.
SLURK METING RIDUALS COVER YOUR ASSES!
Monet, you are up.
Okay.
Monet will channel her elements.
And then she's going to do a two action Elemental Blast on the one directly in front of her.
Make him goo with him.
Frog Pate.
What would that be like?
French.
French. It'd be French.
It'd be as slimy as hell.
Does a 15 hit?
No, it does not.
I don't think I like these dice.
They look so cool.
I don't think I like these dice set on.
I won't get you anything anymore then. Jesus.
Sometimes they're real good. They've just been recently not very good.
You need to use that D6. That's the coolest one in there if you ask me.
Yeah, but I can't use D6 if I can't get it.
D6 spell. You need to change your cantrips.
Touch of Zap.
Rebuild your character.
Literally like, tell me how to use this.
Yeah, you're right.
That's it. That's her turn. That's it. She's done.
You know, she either does something or she does absolutely nothing.
She does everything she needs.
These are your two options.
Up next is going to be the slurke that just got free in a frenzy.
It's going to hop forward five feet, which will put it right next to you, Rootmoor.
And you are being flanked as it hops to tusk you.
Terrible roll.
Does 19 hit your flat footed?
It does not.
Roll again with its last action.
Natural 3 ain't going to do it either.
You live this time. Thanks for heavens.
Do not forget about your peepees.
Correct.
I was going to use my peepee because I thought I was getting poisoned, but then I just want to use my peepee on an elemental blast.
It should be easy.
All right, at this point, it would be Kubo's turn, but because he was commanded to act earlier in the round, we're skipping over that right to scarab.
Aye, aye, aye.
Tough man.
Just like stand and shoot, stand and shoot.
Stand and shoot.
Stand and deliver.
Has Kubo been hit?
Yup.
Yes, by Rootmoor.
Right.
And yeah, both of you guys.
He got earthquakeed a little bit too.
Yes.
No, Monet has not hit him.
Or tremored.
Did tremor didn't?
Ah, tremored.
Actually, he's...
He saved. He should have gotten hit.
No.
Only been hurt by the tremor.
I want to help Rootmoor.
It's not good.
This is like connect four right now, or tic tac toe, and there's just so many ways for Rootmoor to get flanked.
I don't like it.
It really sucks, but this is an easy combat for me.
I just, I know I can't move.
I literally can't move.
Monet, would it be beneficial for scarab to kill the one in front of us?
Not necessarily.
Or like, would that be a problem to you?
No.
I'm going to do other stuff.
It would be a problem because I can get this guy.
He's also adjacent to me.
This would at least cut Rootmoor.
I'm going to attack the one in front of Monet and I.
Okay.
To cut off that flanking frog.
I'm having trouble over here.
Wait.
Reload.
Fire.
Thank you for being honest.
It's going to be a hit.
We'll see how big.
33 to hit.
You crit the slurk.
Okay.
Let's put him to bed.
Yes, finally.
Okay.
It's going to be a 21 magical piercing.
Nice.
Low rolls on them D10s.
21 you say.
Yes.
Two shreds you say.
He's still standing, looking terrible.
It is weakly limping inside of its kennel.
Okay.
Yeah, final action reload.
Stay and bang.
Tricky, walks forward.
10 bases.
Nice.
Get in there.
He's getting there.
Don't know what good.
We'll see what happens.
Maybe it's time for a little revenge because it's going to be that slurk next.
As you continue to fire at him, he's abandoned the door and now he's just trying to bite you
through the cage.
He's still blind.
Still blind.
So we've got to do that flat check there.
Did you take bleed first?
No, he'll take it at the end and then he has to do a check.
But he now won on his, not on the attack, on the, that one on the, what do you call it?
Blindness.
Yeah, the blindness.
Just screw up.
You would have got a four anyway on the actual, yeah, that guy's having the worst.
It's not the favorite slurk.
Not the brightest slurk in the cave.
Okay.
Second action, it's going to try again.
This is going to be to see if it hits 12.
That'll play.
So now we'll go for the actual attack.
Natural two.
So that's a miss.
Nice.
He's in a frenzy right now.
He misses on the third as well.
Okay.
That's it for him.
Oh good.
Good stuff.
The one to his left.
Ruined himself for us.
Is now going to go, it's actually really good you shot at that one because he was the one
that was going to focus on Rootmore next.
That's, that was me fear.
Okay, so yeah, he's the one flanking.
Now goes the one that was biting Rootmore in the butt and it's going to try to bite
your butt again.
Stop.
Natural four.
Oh yay.
Second bite.
Ooh, okay, better.
Not good enough.
14 plus.
Does a 20 hit you?
It does not.
Even when you're clumsy.
Even when I'm clumsy.
That's lame.
Yeah, because he fell down and you totally missed.
And the third one will miss as well.
Okay, so this is the western most slur to the south.
The one still in the cage is bashing at its cage.
Natural one on the cave bash.
Oh cool.
Also the cage bash.
Whatever.
Just like, oh.
Natural one, that's a crit fail.
It's still an attack.
It's an attack.
Did you put food in your pants?
Monet's difficult terrain is gone now.
Okay.
They're spitting, he's critting, Cody's playing by himself right now.
I was rolling the next two hits on the door.
Because the crit that I got is a bruised ego.
This slur is now so enraged by this door it can't attack another creature until this door is knocked out.
So it fixates itself on destroying the cage door.
And it doesn't do anything on the second hit, but the third hit is just enough.
So we're going to see if that's enough to break the door now.
Not enough.
So that's going to be the end of that slurks turn.
Round three.
Take us away, Rudy.
Oh, round three you say.
I'm going to raise my shield again.
Yeah, we're going to fish a swing on this one up here that I am pinging.
The one that got out of the cage.
The one in the northwest.
Swing away, Rootmore. Swing away.
Be with God.
That's a natural 20.
Maybe, hell yeah.
Forever!
Oh, Jesus.
I can't remember the last time I drew a card.
The King of God, Noor!
Oh my God.
Crit five times in combat, but you can't remember the last time you drew a card?
I know, it's crazy.
You've been getting them natty crits.
Yeah, I haven't gotten a natural 20 in a while.
What's it called?
Not a natural crit, but when it just adds up.
What's that called again?
The 10 higher than AC.
I don't think it has a name.
Yeah, it's just a 10 over.
We can call that one a dirty crit though.
Sum up crits.
So far we're two 10s on a D10.
Dirty, dirty, dirty.
Destiny crits.
48 bludgeoning damage.
Oh, baby!
And he is deafened.
He gets smacked in the ear.
If he survives.
He's most definitely deafened.
Forever.
Because you squashed this frog.
Yeah!
Make a splat sound.
You got squished.
Hell yeah.
That's a lot of damage, dude.
That's a lot of damage.
Oh, and he also has to roll a fortitude save to see if he calls prone or not.
Nope.
I won't do that.
That's it?
Oh, that's all?
That's all.
All right.
I wish I could do more.
You can barely make out the sounds of pitter pattering and kobold cackling as the unnamed
kobold continues to run and vanishes.
Yeah.
Monet.
Okay.
So what's the situation about this movement situation?
Every time you want to move a space, you got to do a DC 18 acrobatics check or you will
be stuck in place.
You are using a balance action.
Are we doing the deeper form of...
Are the rocks still about?
No, they went away.
No, they're gone.
So sorry I missed that part.
It's okay.
Nothing new there.
Okay.
Well, here's what...
Here's what she do.
Here's what she's going to do.
This guy, is he pretty messed up?
The one directly...
Oh yeah.
He needs to go to bed.
He's the one that's been messing himself up.
He needs to go to bed real bad.
And has this one been hit?
The one next to him?
Number three.
Just by your tremor, I think.
He's got some damage on him.
He looks roughed up.
The other guy looks foobard, like just terrible.
Broken tooth, bleeding, blinded, limping in the cage.
Bullet wound.
San Francisco, four in the morning, stumbling out of a comedy club.
I mean, Monet's an empath.
You want to take all the damage he's taken?
No.
Then shut up.
She's going to do him a kindness.
Night night.
She's going to start whirring up sparking electricity.
We're going to give it a go.
She is going to...
She does the Disney Mickey Mouse.
Drawing with the wand Mickey head.
Yeah, she got the...
She starts to...
Metal starts to accumulate in her hand into the form of a rod.
She will attempt a two action elemental blast on this guy.
Let's see some work.
If nobody's seen it before, you have to look at the videos where they took all the old Disney stars doing that Mickey Mouse head thing, but they trace the actual lines that they draw instead of the Mickey head.
That's hilarious.
Does a 20 hit?
It does.
Wow.
Very good.
All right.
So on a hit, we hit.
Yeah, do your damage and then do the extra electricity damage.
This guy takes 18.
18.
Takes 18.
18.
Well, he takes 13 bludgeoning and five electricity.
All right.
Your steel rod impales the slurk and before it can react to what you've just done to it, a bolt of lightning goes through it, frying it in place and it is dead.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Sizzling and spasming.
You smell...
The nice smell of burnt boogers.
That is...
That's it.
Pleasant wafting aroma.
And her elements are not discharged because that is not an overflow, which is crazy.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Well, hopping on up, Kubo leaps past his dead slurk brethren right up in front of Rootmore.
Come to me.
And he's going to attempt to tusk you.
This guy's too smart for his own good.
26 to hit.
Oh, that's a hit.
Nine points of piercing damage. Nope, sorry.
11 points of piercing damage.
And it's going to try one more because it's going against your flat footed AC.
So that should be okay.
Okay.
That should be okay.
Okay.
So that's a natural, natural.
I can't talk today.
That's a natural 16 with a plus six on the hip for a 22 against your flat footed AC.
As a miss.
Wow.
You have a 25 AC.
23 being flat footed.
But you normally have a 25.
I have my shield raised.
Plus two AC.
Wow.
Okay.
So you're just not going to get hit by that.
You made him angry.
No, I'm just over-checking something.
Yes.
25 AC is insane.
It's pretty cool.
I'm going to start teaching all the slurks in this place magic.
It's all going to be will saves.
Mona, you can help.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Well, it's 23 right now since it's blanked.
Yeah, now he got a 22, which I thought for sure would hit your flat footed AC because 25 AC on a level six character is gross and makes me want to throw up.
And I backed out of the game.
So we're not blanking out.
I did that on accident.
Scarab, you're up.
You're hitting me earlier in the combat.
So I didn't have my shield raised.
Clumsy doesn't drop your AC one.
It does.
Okay.
So you have a 26 with your shield up normally.
Let's see.
Let me take off the raised.
Yeah.
See, when I take this off, my AC is 24.
But since I'm clumsy, it's 23.
And then flat footed for another minus two would be 21, wouldn't it?
Well, this is this right here is the raised AC with clumsy, which makes it 25.
So then 23 is the okay.
So I missed it by one.
That feels worse somehow.
Hey, I'm on.
Can I have another Summit Cola diet?
Only if you get me one too.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Scarab, you're up.
All right.
So three slurks yet.
Stand.
Kubo and the Slammy 2 duo.
Scarab looks towards Kubo.
Kubo.
Scarab looks at Kubo, raises his gun and bang, bang.
First shot.
That is going to be a 28 to hit.
That's a crit.
Yes.
Yes, finally.
That's going to be 24 damage.
And once one fluid motion reloads his weapon and fires again.
27 to hit.
Critical hit.
Oh, wow.
Finally.
32 damage.
Oh, no.
There goes Kubo.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Scarab's turn is over.
Oh, tricky.
10 more feet.
He's snorting.
Who's in one?
He's snorting out the hole.
Oh, like Garrus.
Does that big old nose?
Sniffing at the door.
Big old nose coming through.
He smells that slurk.
He wants to come eat it.
And Scarab's going to be like, please stop.
Stop eating that.
Stop.
Somebody clean this.
And somewhere down those stairs we hear the echo of Kubo now.
Kubo.
It is the, let me see real quick.
Yep.
Order wise, it's the one behind you, Rootmore.
This is not against Flatfoot.
It's just regular AC.
It's going to try to bite you in the butt.
Oh, stop.
Natural 20.
Oh, no.
I think I'd hit.
He's not named.
Good thing, damn it, it was Kubo.
I was scared about that.
Yes, I was.
Rootmore has just been getting eaten up.
18 points of piercing damage.
How are you looking?
That's a rough hit.
That's like 50, 60 damage so far.
Fuck it.
Ouch.
There is a, and then a.
I'm going to use my reaction on the explosive shield because I didn't block it the last
time you hit me because the condition is the shield has to be destroyed.
Yeah.
It only has 12 HP.
Yeah.
Bringing it down to six would only break it, but I wouldn't be able to use the ability.
So I was like, there's a hit.
That'll just outright destroy the shield.
Yep.
Okay.
So tell me what happens.
This is what happens.
I'm going to kill you and Monet and the slur.
Hell yeah.
Free action, splintering boom.
Trigger, the exploding shield is destroyed.
The shield explodes outward, dealing a 46 piercing damage to each creature in a 15 foot
cone.
So it's only going to hit him.
Safety.
Okay.
How much damage was that?
I got to take the damage.
18.
Okay.
So cool, dude.
So glad you wore that shield.
I just wanted to see it happen.
No, I'm glad you got to use it.
Okay.
46.
15.
15 piercing damage.
From the shield?
That's sick, dude.
Yeah.
The two of you just see a blinding flash of light and you cover your eyes for a moment.
And as you open them and after the deafening boom echoes throughout the cave and tunnels,
you turn back and where that slur was is now only a red slurry and an exploded cage.
Oh my god.
With more standing, covered in viscera and smoke steaming off of him.
I didn't know that was going to happen.
Pretty cool though.
Pretty cool.
Whoa.
All right.
Well, let's go to the other slur then.
Is it the surface or the night?
You went before scarab.
Oh, sorry.
I got confused because I thought it was Rootmore.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
This is the bottom of the list.
Yeah.
That was the reaction of Rootmore.
This is the last one in initiative.
The westernmost slur.
Still bashing away in its cage.
Oh, Cody.
I need a reflex save for that damage.
Can I use what I just rolled?
Whatever you want.
No, I'm not going to do that.
It's my fault.
Okay.
Holding this, I just rolled an 18 for that slur to hit the cage door.
So remember 18 for me.
I'll roll a reflex on that.
They're not super reflexive, I don't think.
Big old fat frogs.
Inside a cage.
Are they squeezing right now?
Second worst save on them.
22?
Yeah, it's a pass.
Okay.
So half of 15, that's a what, seven?
Yes.
So only seven, so it's probably still alive.
Seven or eight, do you round up or down?
I need to round down.
Round down.
Damn.
I'm going to ask that every day until it changes.
That's how you bend the rules.
Emold them.
Am I doing a lot of cheating this combat?
Yeah.
I'm catching myself.
Hey, you cheated that one time when you let him come in there.
You got me on that, Matthew.
So.
It might not be the only cheater.
I'll say I like.
I don't even remember what this guy's initiative.
I've already deleted him from the initiative.
I don't remember his HP before he died.
Damn.
This is poor one out for him.
Yeah.
I mean, honestly, thank you for coming back and being honest about that, but I think we
just cut all this out.
Just keep it as was.
Yeah, as is.
And then we can just do a oopsie, we screwed this up last time on our next one.
That's fine.
Oh, what is that a boulder?
It's not like it's going to change the dynamic of the combat all that much if there's one
more slur fighting at your butt.
Yeah.
Anyway, so all right.
18.
Natural 18.
Then I get to roll damage against the door.
That is enough.
The door slams open.
Come here.
Oh, cool.
I grabbed the circle.
I'm going to come here.
The circle hops forward five feet and is going to try to bite you.
Hello, sweet puppy.
Rude Mor, Rude Mor's not there.
Natural seven.
So it's a miss.
And that'll bring us to the top of the round with you, Rude Mor.
Oh, Rude Mor, you're right next to me.
You don't have to move.
It's perfect.
Smash.
Every time I always forget what it's called.
Vicious swing.
25 to hit.
That's it.
Okey dokey.
Twelve bludgeoning damage.
Ooh.
Love to see it.
Like this big old frog mouth opening up coming right at you and you just uppercut underneath
its chin.
Just shut up.
Ding.
Good old fashioned Hercules.
Yeah, I made that sound with like four different sounds.
Like a ping pong.
Ping pong boom and a like deep whoosh.
Yeah, that's nice.
It tickles the back of my brain.
The last one.
We're just going to swing again.
Might as well.
Minus five.
Okay.
Twenty one to hit.
That's it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Twenty two bludgeoning.
How'd you do more on the regular swing than you did on the vicious?
I rolled a ten and a nine plus three.
That's awesome.
It's not that.
It's more of my disappointment with the vicious swing before.
Nine damage.
Okay.
For two actions?
Sure.
What's it look like?
Oh my god.
Yeah, so after the other one dies.
Rootmore in his head just hears just tonight as sounds because of the explosion.
And he slowly turns this frog thing is the second one is leaping at him and he just goes to raise his shield.
Nothing's there.
Instead, he's holding like a big old summer sausage and he just smacks the fuck out of this frog with a summer sausage.
And it dies.
Yes.
All those big ones at the deli that just like rock hard.
I think you guys are grasping the size of the summer sausage.
Very large summer sausage.
You really have to lather it up before you get this thing down.
I swear to god.
I had to lube it just to get it in my pocket.
Good job, Rootmore.
It was a big smash.
Damn.
And now you sit there covered in goo.
Surrounded by dead frog.
Surrounded by dead slurks next to Monet who is covered in goo on a floor covered in goo.
What do you do?
Are we in the episode?
Skirp pushes Tricky's nose out of his hindquarters.
Shoves him back down the quarter.
Come on, bud, we gotta go.
Yeah, yeah, no, definitely.
Bye, everybody.
Bye.
It's over. Bye-bye.
Where's the thing?
Oh my god.
Oh, right.
I'll read it.
You do that.
I'll bring the thing.
It's been a little while.
Matthew's gotta pee.
Bye-bye.
He's shaking. Bye-bye.
Love you.
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And he would say, you're welcome.
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M-O-D is currently finding a comment.
Got one.
You've got a comment?
Oh.
That'd be fun if you read it.
Oh.
Uh, we have a comment on, uh, episode 30.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Uh, the Crown of the Cobalt King.
As you briefly shoot this cobalt in the back.
Um, this comment is from Maria.
Hi, Maria!
Hello.
It says, I love you guys, especially Monet. She's totally my favorite.
Cody.
Let's be honest.
I have made a few comments.
Okay.
Well, maybe two or three, but in my defense, I'm usually driving, uh, to and from, uh,
on an hour and a half long commute.
When I listen, uh, of which for obvious reasons, I will not do it.
And I will always forget when I get to my destination, but I really, really do love
joining you on the Cursed Caravan.
Thank you for making it so entertaining.
Oh, sweet.
Thank you.
Thanks for leaving a comment.
And yeah, in your defense, I understand.
I'm only giving you grief just cause it's fun.
So I'm going to keep doing it.
So if it's an hour and a half commute and you have to do that there and back, that's
three hours out of your 24 hour day.
What are you doing with the other 21 hours, Maria?
Hmm?
Talking to her daughter on the phone.
Just kidding.
Love you.
Thanks, Mom.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Anyways, uh, leave comments.
Yep.
Yeah.
And y'all probably noticed there was a gap in this episode.
If there comes a time you don't see an episode, check our Instagram.
Cause we usually put notes saying like, Hey, we're missing this week or whatever.
It's just been busy couple weeks.
That's what we call in sick.
Yeah.
Pretty much not super active there, but who knows anything can happen.
We'd love to be active there.
It's just, it's kind of bad.
It's kind of bad, right?
But yeah, follow us there, please.
We're trying.
Leave comments.
You know?
Check out this drawing that Matt wrote.
I can't.
Dude, I haven't even drinking anything today.
I just drank coke.
Check out Matthew's drawing that he did of Scarab and Tricky on Instagram.
It's really good.
Yeah.
Talk to us.
Let us know who you want to see.
Hell yeah.
Check out the drawing that Matt drew.
I drew it.
Yeah.
I'm a drawer.
Oh yeah.
Comment on your podcast apps on Instagram, on YouTube, leave us an email at the cursecaravan.gmail.com.
We'll answer any questions and we'll also read your comments on, well,
maybe any questions is a little strong, but we'll answer your questions.
Any questions we feel like answering.
Yeah, exactly.
It's in our power.
And then all of our, yeah, yeah, all of our contact information is in the description.
Thank you for being a traveler on the Cursed Caravan.
Happy Halloween.
Thank you.
Happy Halloween.
Don't scare them.
Bye.
Don't scare them.
Bye.
Here I am.
Facing away from all of you.
My new setup.
Crisis.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
You can hear Felicia's part of the podcast on her channel.
You gotta press play at the same time.
Except mine's like five seconds too late.
On purpose.
Every time.
No matter how you line it up, it's always off by five seconds.
Yeah.
She does a clap at the same time and then just totally edits it wrong.
Ignores it.
And it's after the clap.
It's messed up.
Your chair's not leaning too far back, is it?
Huh?
Your chair's not leaning too far back, is it?
I'll find out soon enough.
No, I don't think so.
I just want to make sure you don't.
It feels normal.
Okay, cool.
Now you have me anxious.
No, you're fine.
Oh.
The look above somebody's head and slowly inhale a gasp.
No, no, no.
Tall man stays home, Cody.
Yeah, you're right.
He does not come here anymore.
Nah, he's just in the walls.
But if I drop the soap in the shower, he picks it up for me.
Yeah, he's nice.
I never said he wasn't nice.
Anyway.
Is this your alter ego, Matthew?
He just takes a little shit on us.
By day, he's Matthew.
At night, he's the tall man.
Tall man.
No, the tall man's just the guy.
Tall man's the guy that can see you from the...
Defeater of the day, man.
Tall man can see you from the top of the stairs at the front living room, and he likes to
peek his head around the corner from the top of the stairs.
No.
No, I don't like that.
Very tall.
He wants to see if you're outside the door, but he doesn't want to get in your way, so
he doesn't ever get in the door frame.
He stands next to the door frame on the other side of it, and then he cranes his neck and
leans over so you can see the top of his head on top of your door frame.
But he's really just standing right there.
No.
He doesn't want to consider it.
Doesn't touch you when you're awake.
All right.
I don't like it.
So now you guys are in this corner.
This is Felicia.
I tried to tell her.