Okay.
And I'm recording.
Thank you.
God for the love of God.
For the love of God on this wonderful Sunday, we have Matt for what?
Oh, oh, everyone introduce themselves.
Iman, who do you play and who are you?
Hello, I play Ruthmore Redmayne, a fighter cleric.
Good R-roll.
Thank you.
That's it.
Okay.
Matt didn't give any more directions, so moving on.
Last time we played.
Oh, fuck off.
This is fucked.
Who do you all play?
You'll cut it, don't worry.
My name's Alisha, I play Monet.
Class.
What's your class?
And race.
Race is important.
No, it's not.
In today's society, more than ever.
I'm Matthew and I play the
Scarab, the Cobalt Ranger and Gunslinger.
What?
You know what?
It's a good combo.
Whenever you mumble, I'm going to play Lilis.
Monet is a kineticist.
She is a carriole.
Nerd.
Carriole.
I am offended.
Heart hurt.
Well, the last time these three losers got together.
Hey.
Stop.
Who's Cody and what does Cody play?
I'm God.
Bow before me in all of my reverend glory.
And you play?
I'm just a nerd who tells you guys what to do sometimes and then you tell me what you
do and then I tell you what happens because of what you do.
And you play?
And I play Pathfinder.
What is your race?
I'm half-Asian.
Half-Leg.
Hey, you heard it.
God is white.
It's not true necessarily.
Dude, we reprimand everything he says after we're done recording.
Anyway.
We pull him to a closet and we
Last time you played, you just finished dealing with the zombie horde in the graveyard.
You made your way back into town and your first instinct was to meet with the town sheriff
and to figure out what's going on, what you need him to do and what you should do next.
After meeting with the sheriff, you found Farron there already speaking with the sheriff
as for what was going on and what you dealt with at the graveyard.
You explained your intent, your distress, and he is trying to back you as best as he
can.
He's got Farron there.
He go ahead.
You know at the end of the day, he go ahead.
He
After discussing with you.
And understanding your concerns and you understanding his unique position as sheriff, you come to
an understanding and he deputizes Farron under the guise of keeping him close to safe.
He then deserve legitimately deputizes the three of you, giving you full authority as
acting members of the like the guard for Falcons Hollow.
I'm the law now.
Hoping that you will not abuse your power.
Play the good shots.
I don't have control.
Play the good shots.
He also backfire.
Takes into consideration your movement to have the town placed under a more careful
watch.
He enacts a curfew.
He gets more of his town guard to patrol the streets in order to watch out for any more
roving dead.
I love that part.
That was a good part of last time.
From there you decided you were going to rest for the night, recoup yourselves after the
previous day's intense battle and then from there you would decide where to move forward
with your defense of Falcons Hollow.
At the end of the night, each of you has yet another horrifying dream.
Some of you can't quite remember what was so bad about it just that you didn't sleep
so well, but Monet in particular remembers vividly the visions of the Cobalt King looming
far above you and laughing as you and your friends slave away as thralls beneath him.
Monet you wake up and you have this impending sense of doom.
Mechanically speaking you are doomed one for today.
The other two are fine and as they get up and fumble their way through a partially burnt
breakfast you remain in bed.
Hoping we'd forget about the breakfast part.
Me too Rootmore.
Me too.
No one's going to forget about the breakfast Rootmore!
No!
Scarab continues to knock on the door.
We're going to do one of those anime openings where it's like we saw what happened last
time but this time we're going to see it again.
But slightly different.
Slightly different!
It's like a cliffhanger or something.
Yeah.
Monet swings her door open looking all disheveled and greasy and tired.
She's got dark bags under her eyes and she's like what?
Oh dang girly!
Do you need to sleep?
Yes.
Good thing.
Rootmore go back to bed!
Oh but we have crap to do.
We all go back to bed.
Oh Monet!
Oh JK!
Monet!
Seriously are you okay?
What's wrong?
I just don't feel great.
You can have breakfast.
We got breakfast!
Come on!
Scarab grabs Monet's ball.
Her fist?
Yeah.
Sorry I just did the meme of the
white guy blinking in disbelief.
You know what ball I'm talking about.
I did that in real life.
Talking about the big ball that swings beneath the waist.
Come on Monet!
Come with me he says.
Monet trudges along yawning, grumbling under her breath.
We have to go to the tower.
I have a feeling Rootmore's not into it.
No I'm not but you do have a good point.
It's right here.
Might as well.
Rootmore!
Oh my god!
Hi Hufflepuff.
Look I know there's just more to be found out.
What is wrong with you guys?
My breakfast is inadequate.
Makes me sad.
Is it because Scarab told me that it's better today than it used to be?
Because usually it's shit.
Monet that wasn't nice.
It's not usually shit today.
It might be inadequate.
It's not shit.
I'm going back to bed.
Monet turns around.
Garen!
Gold's hard on the ball.
Monet you want to go into the fun tower today?
Nothing's fun today Rootmore.
I think we're gonna have to split the party brother.
Alright.
Let's go find somebody else.
You don't have to.
Don't jerk my beard.
You don't have to tell me twice.
You hear an abrupt twang on the root like it's stopped mid note.
And then you hear a slamming door.
That couldn't have been here.
He would have come running.
He's very happy to see us all the time.
Buddy I've got the strong feeling that was Engrid.
I've got a big more than a sneaking suspicion.
I have more than a sneaking suspicion.
The DM is nodding at me profusely right now.
That was Engrid.
I have no doubts.
Well scurl to the tower I guess.
Figure out how to get in there.
So Rootmore writes a note and he slides it under Monet's door.
Monet is out.
Nah she's here.
She's here.
Don't give up on her yet.
Yeah she's out.
Is that for later?
Out like is in out for the day or she's with us.
She's out in the hallway with y'all right now.
I thought she went back in.
Did she open the door?
So you bend down next to her feet and you slide it beneath the door between the door
and the wall.
Alright whatever.
You guys had the dream too right?
Oh yes.
Maybe it's thrown all of us off our game a little bit.
It's just a dream though.
I'm really tired.
Can you still do it?
You know turn into a cat.
Kitty cat.
Of course.
Good.
Can you open the door for us?
Yeah I'll just you know go in there as a cat and then.
Do we need to go to the potion shop?
We need energy drinks.
Something to bring you up.
What do we got?
So stop by the shop get some energy drinks.
I know a half of them.
Oh good.
Just show him your badge.
He's a gnome.
Real short guy he might be able to have us out.
You've seen him before.
He gives away free stuff if he's not looking.
Halfling.
Good.
Do we have we got we got a little bit of money.
So we're heading over to the gnome store first.
If he was serious then it seems like it.
I don't know.
Is there is there an item that could help Monet in this position?
Not necessarily take away doomed but like bring up the attitude.
That sounded funny so I went with it.
Yeah I think coffee.
Coffee would probably help.
I think so.
Maybe some flay leaf so she could chill out.
True.
Oh very good.
In any case the goose and gander is A12 in the south central part of town.
Yeah it's on the way.
Hey we can stop by the goose and gander.
Something just reminded me.
There's a nice little leaf around town.
We don't really talk about it.
But it could help us in our time of need.
It'll make it'll make all of us hungry for your pancakes and it might bring up Monet's
mood.
All right let's go.
To the goose and gander.
I want everyone to be hungry for my pancakes.
Yes.
You just holding a pancake.
Did you give her a pancake?
Just bare handed just flapping a pancake in her face.
Maybe some food maybe something to bring up the mood.
All right we got a tower to traverse.
To the gander and goose.
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.
Door open.
Yeah what's the party order here?
Scarab is dragon Monet and then Rootmore wherever he wants to be.
Yeah he'll go first.
Okay.
Rootmore you push your way through the door the bell ding-a-ling-a-lings as you said and
as soon as Scarab comes into view you hear all the bric-a-snard Hildrassox immediately
cry out.
Nope!
Nope you got your freebie!
You wait outside!
Oh come on!
You did not see!
Nope!
I said nope!
The other two can have a go.
Not you!
Time pauses.
Scarab is reaching back to he has a couple of pouches on his side and he has his half
cape he reaches into a larger one that is like situated on his back pretty tight and
he pulls out of it a figurine unfinished of an owlbear.
You thought I would take without giving in return!
That's not how pawn shops work!
He holds it for the gnome to see.
His little gnome hands slam down on the counter and he leans forward like comically far over
almost like he's going to teeter off the other side his eyes are wide as he's staring down
at this figurine.
Go on!
It could be cursed.
Are you willing to find out?
Oh it is cursed.
Shhh!
Free!
For free?
No not for free!
I took half the payment before and I receive half the payment now.
So you take a gift but not give one?
A gift you say but a gift you charge?
I can say anything I want!
Outside!
Thank you come again!
No no no you listen here!
No!
Nope!
Do you want business or not?
Yes!
But I'm not in the business of giving shit away for free and not getting anything in
return!
More than once?
No you receive this!
Patent pending.
For free!
Half was the thing that I took before!
Do you even remember what you got for free?
I don't know.
Ungrateful!
Not ungrateful!
Whatever I got for free saved a life.
Or at least got vengeance for one.
Well then surely you would be grateful enough to repay such a kind service?
Ah!
The thing that I got from you got me further so I can grab this!
For me!
For you!
For free!
For Flaleve!
Do you have any?
That's all you want!
To some Flaleve?
God I've got it Brother Gobs!
Get in here you scamp!
It's in the back!
You're not a cop are you?
Points at all three of you.
Actually Scurrib shows his.
Damn you Scurrib!
Do you want to keep quiet or not?
You're so loud.
Are you going to keep quiet on this or not?
Throw in the statue I'll keep it quiet.
I'm going to throw in the statue but we need a week supply of Flaleve.
A week!
A week.
For one of you.
Do you want to keep your business?
A week for one of you!
A week for one of us!
Yes of course!
Look at her!
So shrewd.
Points back is M.O.D.
Follow me to the back.
Alright fellas.
Hey everyone keep in mind we have power over this guy now.
Roommore draws his hammer.
On a piece of paper?
No lie.
Don't be afraid.
Scurrib is just saying this.
Hey hey hey.
Roommore drops his hammer.
You hear an abrupt scooch of his stool that he was standing on as he hops down.
A quick plop as he works his way around the counter and he with a big hand kind of gestures
towards a beaded curtain in the back of the shop.
Are the people buying up this Flaleve?
What's the deal?
None of your business.
I'm just curious.
But you're not paying.
So it's not your business?
You're right.
Thank you for everything you've done for me.
You walk for what feels like far longer than you should walk for the inside of a building.
It's almost like the aisles stretch on impossibly far for the interior of this place.
Until finally this curtain that seemed like it was only a few feet away is finally actually
only a few feet away.
It almost feels like you walk for minutes.
But you reach the end and his short statured arm reaches out and holds aside a beaded curtain.
Well come on in Roommore.
Don't breathe in too heavily if you're like that.
It's hot in here.
It's hot.
It's gonna be fine though.
You're not actively burning are you or is that just incense?
I'm kind of burning.
It gets better down below.
Trust me.
I'm chafing down below.
As a man of the law I'm not much for incense or flayleaf myself.
But I know its properties and I know what's good.
And my friend here does not have an appetite.
My other friend here, he's kind of lost his magic.
Yeah but I have a healthy appetite.
Save it for the court bacon.
But this will get your appetite going real good.
Damn right and that's why we're here.
As you move through the curtain, the beaded curtain, immediately it is an abrupt stop
with a stairwell going down to your right.
It is dark.
Not a problem.
I'd like to perceive like is there...
We got anything going on on the walls back here?
There's some shelves with some odds and ends.
They seem like equally disarray as the rest of the shops.
The shelves kind of like crammed with crap.
It's almost hard to tell what even is on them because there's a book here, a scroll there,
a pile of something there.
Something that looks like a food ration followed immediately by something.
It's all kind of nonsensical.
Just a crass amalgamation of knickknacks and crap gathered throughout.
Who knows how long.
But this is just a small little let's say like a four by four room that then immediately
cuts to a downward staircase that seems to lead into some sort of cellar.
And there is kind of like a cool draft coming up the stairwell.
Oh, thank goodness.
And pardon me, what was his name again?
This is Brickus Nerd Hildren Sox.
So Sox.
Look, I may be a man of the law and this scarab is just flashing.
This thing that he had he tucked away so neatly.
This is just flashing his sheriff's badge in his face.
So Sox, I'm not going to I'm not going to put you away.
You're a good man.
You do the work while I'm out doing the killing and grabbing the items like this owlbear
figurine.
You're here doing the good man's work.
I think we might be able to do something together someday.
Question is, you partake?
Do I partake?
Look at him.
Do I partake?
Listen, look at him.
All of you look at this idiot.
Do I partake?
They don't call me.
I'll knock you off your Hildren Sox dome man for nothing.
Do you want to just get high in the cellar today?
Are you recording?
Let me see that figurine.
I've been needing a shop Sox.
Looks like I'm going to be taking yours out from under your feet.
Sox.
Rootmore found something and he's lighting it up.
Let me look at it.
Let me see.
Look at it.
It's pretty nice.
I like it.
Pretty good, huh?
Dwarven?
Dwarven.
You people do good work.
Says the Rootmore a bit raciously.
No.
He does though.
Rootmore is already smoking flailie.
Found on the cellar.
I get it.
Hold on.
Because in front of you again is this dark stairway that goes down.
He says, all right, I can make this work.
I can get you a weak Sox.
You're in luck.
I just harvested.
Started a new breed.
I want a strong Sox.
What's it called?
There's no stronger than Hildren Sox.
You said weak.
I want strong.
Listen to my friend.
I'm not going to address that.
We want some dank shit, bro.
Oh, I've got dank shit.
You're talking to a gnome, fella.
We live in caves.
Underdark.
It's not called that here.
You know what I mean.
Underground.
It's real dank.
It's really dank.
You find them in God and staring at plants for hours on end.
I think he's...
We can trust him, Rootmore.
I'm all in.
As the tallest one here, I'm obviously the most trust with...
Shut the hell up.
He says...
I'm pretty sure I'm the tallest one here.
You foolish idiot!
As if I would ever trust someone so low to the ground as a lizard.
Wait a minute.
Everyone pause.
Not a weak for you.
A weak for her.
Points back at the much taller woman.
A weak for me.
A weak for me would last years for that soft, pale nobody.
Well, then it better last years.
Trust me.
Let's soft pale somebody.
This shit's gonna make you see things you didn't even know existed.
You're gonna think you walked planes for a moment, man.
It's crazy!
Like magic!
Like...
Magic.
I don't think I'm interested in this.
It's gonna make you question your gods.
Yeah, I don't think I'm interested.
It's gonna make you think you're just some idiot sitting at a table talking to a microphone.
That's how crazy my shit is.
I don't think I like this idea.
It sucks.
My shit's gonna make you smell colors and taste blood.
Socks, chill it, bro.
I don't think I want any of this.
You're passing all your checks.
We just need her to be hungry.
Don't feel safe.
Hey, just give her some of the stuff that makes her want to be a little more active.
My shit's gonna make you kill a man and not even question.
Probably not.
I'm sorry.
I had coffee this morning.
You should be careful what you say.
Flashing badge.
I'm a little excited.
Flashing badge.
Haven't sold in a minute.
Shall we?
Yeah, for free.
All right.
I hear a lot of talk, but not- For the idol?
Yes.
That is free?
Yes.
Then for free?
Yes.
Good business, man.
Hildren Socks.
Follow me.
Come on, come, come.
I'm scared of winks so hard at Rue Mourn.
This guy's a fucking idiot.
Hildren Socks winks at Rue Mourn.
He's like, this guy's such a fucking idiot.
Everybody's flirting with me.
Everybody's winking at you at the same time.
We're moving very slowly.
All right, all right, all right.
Stay close.
I don't feel safe.
I don't feel safe either.
No, we're fine.
This guy's a gnome.
You guys make your way down- You said it a bit raciously.
You make your way down the staircase, and about halfway down, it's incredibly dark.
Even for your dark vision, normally you feel like you'd be able to see everything in black
and white.
You still can, but everything seems kind of hazy.
There's something else going on here, something that's obscuring your vision.
But as you reach the base of it, you can kind of make out the beginnings of something.
Like there's some kind of, I don't know, shelves or something like that in front of you.
Before you hear the blurry outline of this gnome in front of you, he turns and he says,
get ready to see some cool gnome-ish tech.
And he pulls a lever, and as he does, there is a shkong, shkong, shkong, shkong, as lights
begin to flood the area.
And this cavernous room beneath this shop is just row after row after row of fine gnome-ish
hydroponics.
Intricate machinery is set upon large troughs of these massive stalks of flail leaf being
grown.
Son of a gun.
How do you sell this shit if nobody knows about it?
Lining the room are several tables.
You can see other gnomes in the dark, hard at work, assembling and moving leaves along,
some of them drying them, some of them pressing them, separating, pruning them, separating
stems and seeds and all of that.
There's a full on op going on down here.
Is Santa Claus here too?
Holy shit.
Those elves!
Racist!
Anyway, follow me, I'm gonna take you to the good shit.
He leads you past rows and rows of workers, again feeling like you're walking far too
long than you should be for a building this size, before you make your way towards a back
office.
He opens a door that leads you in.
Pray tell!
What the willy wonka is going on here?
Exactly what your friend asked for.
Only the best.
Group more, we'll talk later.
This is a lot of production, I'm confused.
Frankly I'm a little concerned, but also maybe a big payday.
We'll worry about that later.
Is the wood chopping just for money laundering?
What is happening here?
There's no damn telling.
Don't chase the roots big man, they go deeper than you think.
What do you know about the creeds?
Nothing, I'm busy!
Come on guys, let's go.
I like the sky, he called me big man.
Alright, you're right.
Let's get that week's weather.
Alright, you guys make your way into his office.
There is a desk that is the appropriate size for a gnome, and a chair that is comically
large too large for that desk, and for the gnome.
He gets into his big chair real quick and then he awkwardly reaches down into that now,
by comparison, comically small desk, and he opens a drawer and he pulls out a small gold
inlay box, and he puts it in front of you, and he slides it forward, places his stubby
gnomish hand on the top of it and says, the idol first.
Fair's fair, you've seen the op.
Easy, but have you been regulated?
This is quite a big operation.
Yes.
You're doing this for yourself, right?
Personal use.
Right.
Scarab has a big smile, a big smile, and he winks, he winks heartily at Mr. Sox.
This will fix your eye too, but the idol first.
And I'm sure you'll have, with an operation like this, I'm sure you'll have more the same
next week.
Right?
And the week after.
I'd be ashamed to see a place like this get shut down.
Never in a million years.
You see all those fools out there?
Never.
In a million years.
Did you see those fools out there?
Scarab shoves the owlbear idol forward.
The unfinished and quite shoddy owlbear.
He scoots the beautiful and decadent gold inlay box in front of you.
Oh boy.
If I had stupid eyes, I would think these were crystals.
Scarab grabs the bag.
You do have stupid eyes.
And they are crystals.
Go on, look.
Admire my handiwork.
All right, thanks.
Scarab's just gonna take this in.
I don't have to roll or anything.
He's just looking around like, damn.
This guy.
You can take him down in a heartbeat.
Just gonna have to get another town.
Wait a minute.
Are you licensed at all by the city?
Absolutely.
By the creeds themselves?
Yes.
Are you?
I would like to sense that.
I definitely want to sense that.
I've been biting my tongue this whole time.
What is your perception DC?
DC 21.
Yeah, dude.
He's legit.
Okay.
Damn.
Okay.
Yeah, no problem.
Thank you so much for the hookup, brother.
We'll come see you next week if we need any.
Hold on.
Take a look.
Open the box.
He gestures.
Fine.
Scarab's going to look for traps.
Ooh.
26.
He very hastily spins the box around real quick and gives it two little clicks before
he hands it back to me.
He's like, all right, you're cool.
He opens the box for you and he displays it open and you can see inside of it are several,
probably two dozen perfectly rolled out flea leaf spliffs.
Brother, we are done here.
And if you need any more artifacts like that, we might be able to procure some later.
Now Scarab, I consider this an investment.
As you should.
Yes, I should.
Well, thank you because I seem to have lost my cart.
We might be able to work something out.
He seems actually like there's a flash of sadness on his face when you say that.
He understands.
Oh, no worries.
I still have an eye for the items.
And Scarab flashes his gun.
Still got an eye for the items, but I might be too busy procuring to sell for a while
if you catch my drift.
Well, if the load should ever get too heavy, friend, you know where to drop it off.
I'm always here.
Ildren Sox is always ready to make a deal.
We'll need to talk about your branding, but Sox, you ain't too bad.
Get out of here, you scamps.
Thanks for the idol.
Say cool.
Scarab flashes his badge again and turns around.
He flashes one too.
Just kidding.
Everyone in terms of cops.
Sox just hands himself to Willy Willy.
He does it.
Okay, so you guys, you make your way out.
You can add to your inventory if you'd like, you've got a nice ornate box that is no longer
trapped with two weeks worth of, or well, you know, if you're doing one a day, one person,
two weeks worth, you got 14 supply of flailief.
Okay.
That's a lot of flailief.
Well, Scarab was definitely grabbing this for Monet, but if I mean, how do we want to
split up the flailief?
If anyone else, Scarab is down to smoke a little bit today just because of how crazy
things are.
What is flailief do?
Make smoke and find out.
I'm Googling it right now.
I already have it up.
But I do.
I do know that we need to house rule a little bit of it because it's got to be an, a mood
up or two.
Like, let's, let's be, let's be honest.
Maybe a role.
Flailief is highly addictive.
No, it's not.
That's what it says.
House rule.
It's not.
It's a plant.
It's not addictive.
Well, it's not just a plant.
It's also mixed with spider venom.
The bears are a little bit of a
plant.
The berries of the flailief plant are sometimes crushed and mixed with the dream spider venom
and spider berry tea to produce a potent hallucinogen called Riddleport tea.
But that's, yeah.
Flailief is not addictive.
Uh, next sentence.
Unlike its cousin, the Cabalweed, flailief is highly addictive.
No, it's not.
Cost varies across regions with a full pouch of it selling for around 12 gold pieces in
highly permissive city of Riddleport in Virizia.
Maybe it's addictive, but it shouldn't be.
I think we should house rule that out.
No, we should keep it how it is, but house rule a new plant called cannabis.
Marijuana.
Okay.
So stage one plus one onset 10, onset 10 minutes plus one item bonus to saving Thursday against
mental effects for one hour.
Stage two fatigued plus one item bonus to saving throws against mental effects.
Uh, see three, one hour, uh, fatigued and stupefied one for one hour.
Stage four fatigued, frightened to stupefied two for one hour.
Nah, house rule it.
I mean, it gives you a plus one to resist against mental effects.
Yeah, it's just the whole fatigue and all like all that extra stuff, you know, saying
it doesn't make you sleepy.
It doesn't make you paranoid at the end of it.
I can, but that's all chance.
Like if you want to go through now, I'm curious about what, what capital cow weed is that
what it's called?
Cabal weed.
That's a thing.
Then like, damn, I want to get into that too.
What's up?
That wasn't around when I was doing research.
So what now we're going to the tower to the tower.
But first we need to go behind the tower and smoke a little bit.
Okay.
Fuck it.
Why not?
You got any more sausages or always have sausage?
Damn it.
Look, root more.
I've got something I need to say.
Spit it out.
I was going to try to keep it to myself, but it's just what it is now.
I don't think I can eat meat.
I need more explaining.
Why?
Scarab pulls his hand up, his sleeve falls.
Oh that.
You see all the vines and stuff.
Ever since this, he points behind his head over his shoulder.
Like that thing bean.
I just don't know if I can.
So you don't crave meat.
I don't get it.
I think you can only eat plants.
It's like I see it and I know it looks delicious, but I feel sick when I look at it now.
When I think about it.
Have you ever joined like a religion or something?
One of the gods?
Yes.
Have you ever done anything against their will?
Unintentionally, but yes.
It feels bad, right?
It feels horrible.
I used to worship the dragons, but something else has been forced upon me.
I don't know if I can eat your sausage, Rootmaw.
I mean I'll get back to you on it.
It's just...
Scarab pulls out a few hours old sausage out of his pouch.
I've been thinking about this and it's just kind of making me sick.
Give that here.
It's not the quality of the meat.
It's something different.
Okay, I'll take it from you.
This is a promise I can make, Rootmaw.
It's okay.
I can make pancakes.
I can make delicious mushrooms.
You know, it's maybe part of me wants this play leaf to make me hungry for meat again,
but I don't know if that's the way.
I don't know if I'm ever gonna eat meat again, Rootmaw.
I think it's over.
Let's go hide behind the tower and smoke some shit.
You're right, buddy.
You want to get high as fuck?
Not really, honestly.
Come on!
Let me seduce you with words!
Come on, yesterday was weird.
Let's get high as fuck.
Have you had anything to eat?
No.
Have you ever seen...
Well, look at you, magic user.
Have you ever seen magic under the influence?
No.
Oh, baby.
You're about to go into a tower.
You're about to turn into a cat.
You're about to peer pressure me?
Yeah, he is.
I never said Scarab was a good guy.
He's a moral man, but...
Which morals?
Who could say?
He's manipulative!
Look, I've never smoked a lot of play leaf myself.
It's kind of a dragon thing.
I followed a green dragon on the mountain.
Look, long story.
Play leaf just helps.
And you look down.
I just don't like how that man was talking about it.
It sounds terrible.
Oh, that's because he's a dealer.
Dealers are scum.
Not you.
But dealers are scum.
Check it out.
I'll do it first.
Scarab's going to light up.
How do you ask?
A little bit of throat action.
He ain't got much, but he got a little fire.
Check it out!
He's going to hold a stick to his mouth and light that little baby up.
Just a little bit.
We've got torch.
And we're about to break into this tower and the cops told us not to.
But guess what?
We're the cops now.
We just need to keep our shit together.
Have a good head on our shoulders.
What could go wrong with cops getting high and breaking and entering?
Absolutely nothing!
We're a new age of cops in the way back times.
Light up, baby.
Ah, Flyleaf.
Where is it?
I don't know what to do.
I don't see anything saying that Flyleaf is addictive.
That might be old stuff.
What's it say on there?
Well, I mean, as far as old stuff, I never saw that in my life as a person who looked
it up.
It's on the Pathfinder wiki.
They changed their wiki.
Oh yeah, the wiki could be first edition.
But like, if you look up as an item, it just says the Flyleaf plant is relatively common
through though mildly euphoric effects of smoking, its dried leaves increase when it's
sourced from plants specifically grown to produce such effects.
The only description.
It says February 20, 2024 for the Pathfinder wiki.
They could have changed it.
They may have never smoked pot in their lives.
The plants aren't addictive.
Not acid, not mushrooms, not weed, not LSD.
None of that stuff is addictive.
Just the things that are made of addictive.
I would look on Archival Netbees.
I looked at both of them.
It's just that one was updated February.
Or we could just play pretend.
I mean, I'm not really worried about it being addictive or anything.
Because I'm not smoking it.
More of just like whatever the item effects are, are going to go into place.
So the saving throw against mental effects for an hour.
And then after that for another hour, it'll be plus one to the same effect.
But then you get fatigued on the second hour.
Third hour you get stupefied.
Fourth hour you get frightened.
So I don't get it.
The saving throw.
Let's say you make the saving throw.
Does that mean you don't get a bonus?
The saving throw?
It's a very easy fortitude save.
I think you just don't get the negative.
Yeah, I feel like if you fail the fortitude, then you have a bad trip.
Well, no, hold on.
Hold on.
The way it normally would work is like if this were a poison, it's like if you would
fail, which you can do voluntarily, you would get stage one.
If it went to stage two, that's when you have to do another saving throw so you can end
the effect at stage two.
Or rather, the first time you succeeded, you wouldn't advance further.
And then if you succeeded again, you would go back up.
I think it's purely for funny moments.
And like if you just so happen to fail your fortitude, you have a bad trip.
Yeah, pretty much.
But you know.
So you're fine.
Yeah.
All right.
So you get a spark up behind the tower.
Through the addiction ship.
Fuck off.
I mean, I don't have a mechanic in place for that anyway.
So we smoke flail leaf and get high as fuck.
Except for Monet.
Why?
This was for her.
Yeah, well, she didn't ask for it.
Doesn't seem like it at this point.
All right.
Well, damn, that was a waste of time.
I feel funny.
Hey, how about you turn into a kitty, go inside and we'll start banging on the door.
And then he'll come to the door, open it, say, oh, we're just trying.
Our friend is inside.
We're trying to get them out.
You think that'll work, Roomer?
Maybe.
If not, you're already in there.
I was thinking more.
I'd go in and I'd find the child.
I'd have her bring me to the door and then I'd turn back into Monet instead of Tintin.
And I'd open the door for you.
You could do that too.
I'm down for whatever.
Pretty high right now.
Great.
I will smoke this until you return.
Good choice, Roomer.
Open up into the cops.
Police, open up.
Mortux's badge away.
Monet will turn into a cat and then she will make her way up the wall.
OK.
And we checked this last time, right?
For climbing checks, you just pass?
Yeah, I have a...
Unless you roll a one.
Yeah, unless I roll a one, I can roll.
Yeah, give me a quick roll.
Just to make sure.
My first roll with my new dice.
Watch me a one.
Don't be a one.
You should have smoked.
As long as it's not a one, you're good.
It's not a one.
All right.
Yep.
So once again, you change into a cat and you climb up about 10 feet up and about 10 feet
up and a couple feet over and you're able to get onto the windowsill.
Just like before, you can see you're at like the the window that you're at is right at
the base of the stairs overlooking this like round common area.
You recognize the on the opposite wall, the archway that leads to what you know to be
the kitchen.
And there is nobody in sight.
Yeah, money wants...
Fireplace, which was previously lit, has since died down.
And now there are a few like smoldering bits still in its place.
Money wants to make her way up to the window where she found the little girl before.
She was farther up the stairs, another 10 feet up.
Yeah, so she wants to make her way up to that window from the inside of the outside.
Yeah.
OK, go ahead and give me another another not a one check.
There were 14 of these foil in front.
19.
OK, yes.
Again?
Take seven.
OK, as you make your way up another floor and peek through the window here, you still
see no one.
Now from where you are, you are in the window in the corridor of a spiral staircase.
So to your left, the stairs continue up to your right.
They go back down.
She wants to continue up on the outside to get to the window where she found the girl.
Another check.
Not a one.
OK.
And as you reach this top most window, you are now at you can see the stairwell to your
right and on your left, there is no more.
There's now another round room similar to the one a floor down that has a door at the
end of it.
You're all the way at the top.
Yeah.
Wow.
You're high up at this point.
Or just smoking the flail leaf looking straight up.
About I think 70 or 80 feet up.
OK, Monee is going to go in the window.
And she is going to scratch at the door.
OK, at the door there.
So before you scratch the door, something you notice from your window perch.
In front of the door, there is a like a spattering or a speckling of some kind of red substance.
Also, as you approach the door, you hear a some kind of commotion as well as a high pitched
girlish scream.
Can I do a will you let me go back on scratching at the door?
Yes.
New information.
Can I do a medicine check on the British?
Yeah, that is a 21 blood.
OK, although using your medical knowledge, some of the blood that you see does not appear
to be fresh.
It seems to be more dark.
Some of it not dried, but blood that you would expect to see dried is a like dark maroonish
almost fetid.
Some of the blood.
Can I do a perception check on the scream to see if it's a saver?
I have spoken to her before.
Without a check, it sounds like her.
Does it sound like she's in distress?
Can I do like a sense motive?
Sure wouldn't a scream of joy.
OK, hey, the choices we have to make in the game.
In spinoff.
I think he's going to sprint down the stairs and open the door.
OK, go ahead and roll for initiative.
Oh, what?
Really?
Moving in around.
Here we go.
Like an hour into this podcast, let me get my dice out.
What did you get, Rue more?
32.
All right.
Scarab.
33.
Did you roll a 20?
A 19.
Nice.
OK, what did you roll?
20.
Jesus.
And money.
A 28.
Wow.
Very good.
I'm going to stand down here so fast.
Holy shit.
I'm going to wait my turn so fast.
What's yours?
33.
Jesus.
I'm going to be the first one to wait my turn.
I'm going to wait until I hear something.
I'm just going to be chilling hard, chilling down here.
Oh, boy, this is spooky.
Hey, I mean, it's fine.
We have no horse in the race other than we know there's a little girl.
So first things first, Monet, you hear the scream and you are quickest to react in a
pseudo surprise round.
So here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
I'm a cat.
I'm going to wait for Monet to jump back on to the ledge or rather just jump out the window.
OK.
You have a cat fall?
She does.
So she'd like to jump out the window.
OK.
How is that going to impact 60 to 70 feet of falling?
Well, then she would like to grab a ledge when she gets to the lower one by the door.
OK.
One thing to check.
I believe grab a ledge.
You still take damage.
If it's a critical success, you do not take damage.
If you succeed, then you still take the damage from the fall, though it is treated as 20
feet shorter.
And if you critically fail, you continue to fall.
OK.
My main stipulation is normally it is when you fall off.
OK.
Never mind.
I caught myself in the question.
Normally I was thinking it was like when you fall off a edge or surface, you can react to
grab it, meaning you would be jumping past the 70 foot mark and then grabbing the 70
foot mark.
It wouldn't do anything.
But it does say or past an edge or other handle.
So you can grab one later in the fall.
So, yes, if you'd like to try, go ahead and give me where you're going to try to grab
it at.
At the one that is by the door.
So that would be I said that was 10 feet up and five over.
So a 50 to 60 foot fall.
We'll say 55 for brevity.
OK.
So you'll fall 55 feet and then attempt to arrest an edge.
Now, because your momentum that is going to make the check higher.
Does that make sense?
Because you're falling for longer, it's going to be harder to grab.
So I'm going to do a higher acrobatics check.
What is your your acrobatics or reflex?
DC 24 in my acrobatics.
Oh, yeah.
OK.
Cat.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even know if the cat has form adds anything to that.
That is my regular.
All right.
Go ahead and give me that check.
Got to go off the test for.
Whatever that is.
P.S.
I mean, it's a cat.
It's a cat.
It doesn't really give anything for past form.
It doesn't have anything as far as oh, oh, acrobatics and stealth modifiers are plus
10 plus your own modifier.
So that's plus 10 and less.
Yours is higher.
OK.
But plus 10 to what?
What's your acrobatics bonus?
14.
OK.
So use yours.
OK.
Yeah.
So then yours is less than 10.
Then give yourself plus.
Yeah.
So I roll my acrobatics.
Yes.
Natural 20.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, dude.
Let's get it.
Beautiful.
The two of you from down below are sitting there chatting about whatever while passing
back and forth your play leaf and you suddenly hear the faint cry of a scream before looking
up and you see a cat hurl itself out of the window and fly down at an increasing speed.
And Monet, as you reach the apex of like where you want to grab, you can suddenly snap that
ledge into view and your hands outstretch and you grab on it and your body like whips for
a moment.
There's almost like there's not a crack in the air or anything like that, but you feel
your body like jerk in response to the sudden stop as you grab onto the ledge.
Yes.
You grab the edge or hand hold, whether or not you have a hand free, typically by using
a suitable held item, blah, blah, blah.
You still take damage from the distance of the fall, but you treat it as if the fall
is worth 30 feet shorter.
She also has cat fall.
So she does another, if it's an additional 10 feet.
So, okay.
So 40 feet shorter than the 55 drop is 15 feet, which half of that for the fall is seven
points of damage.
Okay.
Not bad.
Very big reduction in damage.
Scared to throw some trampoline.
Yeah, not bad for-
It's up in slow motion.
So-
Not bad for almost 60 feet of movement.
Would that be one action, the movement to jump out of the window?
We'll say-
Because grabbing a fall is a reactive.
You know what, go ahead and give me the athletics check to see if you could do the, well, that's
a running start to jump, yeah, to make it out the window.
So it'd be like a move jump.
Well, if she was by the door, yeah.
So it'd be a, would that be two actions?
So two actions.
Okay.
Plus your reaction.
So you got one left.
Do you still want me to do athletics?
No, I'll give it to you.
Okay.
So she'll then move into the room and go to the door.
Okay.
You can make that.
Okay.
Not a big deal.
All right.
And now we begin.
Scarab, you were at the top of initiative with your Amazing 33, and you just see a cat
fly out of the top of the tower, fall nearly 60 feet, grab onto a ledge and swing itself
inside.
That's tough.
How far is she going to go?
How far up?
How far up was it that she swung back in?
She dropped from like 60 feet.
But you're like, you know, like, Oh, 10 feet up for the, for the window she dropped into.
So like the floor up.
Yes.
She went, she went,
Like it was an accident.
Scarab looked there's a cat falling.
I should have moved more.
I was just my buzz.
You guys do.
So with Slayley, if you do have a, no, we have heightened mental.
You do have the option to hold.
It's just heightened bashing door in.
It's a different, different story.
Yes.
So if anything, a scarab, a scarab would take this as like, okay, shit, get ready.
One action to hop onto tricky.
I thought, I guess I need two actions to hold something.
Right.
To ready.
That would be to ready.
But you do have the option.
If you take no action, I could reserve your place in initiative.
I'll hold all together.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then Rootmore is next.
Rootmore will delay.
Okay.
Thank you for the proper term.
And then yes, Monet, you are actually, yeah, the scarabs are going to be like, Hey, Rootmore,
get ready for the door.
I don't know what you're talking about, man.
Bro.
Monet you are up next in initiative.
Okay.
So she will use one action to dismiss purpose form.
Okay.
So she is back to Monet and then she will strength if you will allow it.
Bust it.
Well, do a force open on the door.
Force open on the door.
Ooh, okay.
Door crusher.
Athletics.
Door crusher.
Plus whatever bonuses you got.
Does there, I don't know, I have met a gaming.
It's so funny.
She's so funny.
Okay.
I just want to know if there's a lock on the door.
I know.
She's not thinking about that.
I know without even trying to just open it.
It's a 24.
24 is enough.
You plant your feet and then you raise one up and with a mighty kick, you crush the locking
mechanism for the door and send the door flying open.
And you can see your two comrades.
She fucking rips the door open and she's like, Savram screaming.
And then she turns to the stairs and says, Savram, it's Tintin, I'm coming.
And she starts running up the stairs.
Oh, chill out, bro.
All right.
Your move speed is?
Her move speed is 30 feet.
30 feet.
Okay.
Scarab will gladly, is that your turn?
That will be all three actions.
Scarab will gladly jump in on that.
Okay.
And then for your turn, Scarab.
Scarab is going to mount tricky and command tricky to run twice.
So we're going to run a total of 70 feet just forward.
And in the middle of that, I don't remember if I've reloaded or not.
So I'm going to spend my extra action to reload and shout to Rootmore, Hey buddy, it's time
to go.
And we're going to take off 70 feet.
So now you just see a blur of a pig and a lizard blaze past you as they rush their way
up the stairs, maybe shoving you to the side a little bit as you start to run up there.
And that means it is your turn, Rootmore.
Rootmore is going to jump in.
The light that's out on fire by dropping it.
He's going to free action, drop his roach, stomp on it a couple of times.
The rug starts to light.
He was already inside.
Somehow he already got inside.
No, he's not going to draw his hammer or anything.
He's going to wait and run three actions, 60 feet.
Okay.
So the order up the stairs right now, 30, 60, 70 for you guys up the stairs.
Probable cause, probable cause.
It's okay to be in here now.
Hang on a second, something's happening.
Lot of die rolling.
A lot of die rolling.
So I think he's just rolling until he sees a number he likes.
It's bad, I hate it.
It makes me very unhappy.
The amount of unhappy I am is very...
If I could define it.
It's real not good.
It's real unhappy about it.
Okay.
As the three of you begin rushing up this stairwell, you hear a very loud crackling
explosion.
Kind of like a...
As well as some thumps and scattering of something happening upstairs.
Back to Scarab.
We're going to keep on running.
Alright, as you continue, same as before, command once, run twice.
Okay, with the second run, you find yourself at the apex of the tower.
You are now in the same room that Monet saw, a round stone circular room with some dark
brown blood smeared on the floor leading up to a door on the opposite side of the room
from you.
Is the door locked?
Yeah, I mean, if you give it a check, if you try to pull on it, it seems to be locked.
Okay, would you take an action from me for doing that?
For checking it?
Yeah.
That's totally fine.
Yes.
Check for lock and Scarab is going to fire at the door handle.
Am I hearing all this stuff?
You heard the explosion on the way up the stairs.
As you're coming up, you can kind of hear what sounds like crashing and thudding and
just a commotion.
Yeah.
I think Rootmower is right.
Probable cause!
I'm going to fire at the door handle.
Okay, it does have...
Fire at the lock.
It has a hardness.
Go ahead and roll to hit end damage.
We're going to use, I'm going to use my episode PP.
All right.
On this one.
Thirty to hit.
Definitely a hit.
Eight damage, bludgeoning, magical.
Okay.
As you rush up, you blast the lock off of this door, leaving a big hole where the handle
was and you can see it kind of like shutter against this place.
It's now swinging in place.
Yeah.
And Scarab is slow motion getting ready to reload.
That's the end of his turn.
Okay.
Rootmower.
Sixty feet running.
You hear the gunshots.
As you...
Oh God!
As you run up the stairs, so that's 120 total for you, correct?
You pass by the middle room that Monet had saw and continue running up the stairs.
And as you're getting to the end of the stairs, you can kind of like see the beginnings of
that room, but you're not quite up the stairs yet.
Monet...
Did he pass the kitchen?
Kitchen was on the ground floor.
He passed it long ago.
Damn.
He ganders up the kitchen just for a second.
Just to see what this guy's working with.
On your way up the stairs, just give it a little peek.
Yeah, just to see what he's working with.
Nice copper pans.
Just a little peek.
All right, Monet.
Monet will continue to sprint up the stairs.
All right, and what's your movement again?
Thirty.
Thirty, okay.
So you've gone thirty up so far, and how many actions up?
I will say if you spend all three actions running, you can be in the same spot as Scarab
in front of the door.
She will spend all three actions.
Okay.
And there you are in front of the door.
I'm on air so fast!
You have enough if you would like to to push through the door.
I was going to say, is it enough to just get in?
Yeah, so Scarab, you're blasting the lock off as Ruemore is reaching the top of the
stairs and Monet rushes past you and slams through the door.
And in front of you, you see...
Not even knowing it was unlocked.
You see another large circular room off of this one, this one much larger.
Easily like twice the size of the little foyer that you were just in.
And this appears to be some kind of laboratory.
There are several counters covered in all kinds of text, papers, alchemical instruments.
There's a large fireplace on the far side of the room that's lit.
In front of the fireplace, on the floor, is who you assume to be Chavros.
In front of him, Savram standing up.
Chavros has a staff extended beyond her, still sizzling with little crackles of electricity
and bits of smoke pointed out in front of the two of them.
And between you and them are three malformed corpses.
One of which is a large hulking mass, a brutish looking zombie bulging with rotted muscle.
The second one is a rather grotesque and thin spindly looking corpse.
His flesh is contorted in such a way that you can see his long clawed fingers almost
pulling at the flesh between his pelvis and his rib cage.
Almost like some kind of stringed instrument.
And as it pulls at it, it lets off a sickly and horrific sounding musical note.
And the third, the third is a large zombie, smaller than the first, but still bulky looking
zombie whose body is cross sectioned with several metal bolts, spindly spikes, and a
cross section of wiring arcing with electricity.
This one whose lips have completely gone, its mouth pulled back in a grotesque smile,
arcs with electricity, and all three of them turn to regard you as you slam into the door.
Oh dang.
What the fuck?
It's fight night baby.
And that leads us to the zombies.
Up first, the grotesque looking one that's pulling at its own innards making notes.
Alright, I made a very rudimentary map on World 20 which is where you guys are now.
Turn it up!
Alright, let's go!
Man.
No, get out of there Rue Moore.
I was like, there we go, we got it quick!
You're supposed to be in the shadow, how'd you find yourself?
What I did was I did wooooooah.
That's a rock.
And oh there he is.
Savram don't look too good.
I'm Savram, just kidding, I don't know where I was.
The costume is there.
Get down there now!
It just shows we don't play on World 20 and we're always fucking around.
We like to goof!
So everyone, Emad got me, are you recording?
Hope so, yes.
Turns out, yes.
Emad got me a brand new set of dice because Monet didn't have her own set of dice and
got me a set that has a little, what is this?
What is this?
A jelly ball.
It's got like a little moving ball in the middle.
You may have seen them before with like an eye in the middle.
Cody has some of those that Emad also got him.
Remember when Cody showed you those?
But Emad got me some that have the Cheshire Cat in the middle because Monet can turn into
the cat.
So now Monet has her own dice.
It's a little movie ball on the inside with water and it has like a weight at the bottom
so no matter how you roll it, the face is always looking up.
Yeah, it's got like a liquid core with the face of a Cheshire Cat so when I roll the
Cheshire Cat smiles on the top.
It's real damn cool.
And it's rolling real good, Emad.
Good!
Hell yeah.
In the T4 the Cheshire Cat is so small and I love it.
As the zombies turn to you, the first one to react is the one that seems to be using
its organs as some kind of like horrible instrument and it stretches back arching a bit and it
reaches down and its spindly fingers begin to strum on its exposed organs like some kind
of macabre harp and it lets out this unnatural squelching bassy tone that unsettles all of
you but at the same time it seems to send a like rippling shockwave through the muscles
of the other zombies and they almost appear to look quicker, more alive than they have.
Zombie bard!
Freak.
That's just a freak, brother.
Up next you can see as the zombie begins to do it from behind is Shavros laying down in
front of the fireplace.
He's wounded, he's gripping at his side where you can see fresh blood.
Well, some of you can see.
As he lifts his staff again and sends an arc of electricity out through the air at the
zombies.
So I gotta do some saves here real quick.
Two of them succeed, one of them fails.
He's gonna take one moment.
I was not expecting a fight coming into this tower.
Oh I so was.
Same, so was I.
Oh I'm so ready and I'm so glad it's undead because it makes this validating.
Yeah.
No.
Probable cause.
Let's go.
Probable cause.
Let's kill everyone in this room.
Just kidding.
But he doesn't look, he doesn't look nice if his token is any representation of the man
and him.
Of the man himself.
If it makes any difference for your mind I didn't grab it from the book I just googled
something.
Google.
What did Google do for him?
It make him look spooky.
Okay as Shavros puts his spear, I almost said.
As he puts his staff up into the air and arcs a beam of electricity, the electricity jumps
between the three zombies before firing off into a random corner shattering some of the
alchemical components.
Two of the zombies seem to seize up affected by the electricity however the one that is
covered in wires and bolts and already arcing with electricity seems to let out a screech
of joy or laughter.
It's kind of like a.
So loud.
Thank you.
The electrical one?
Yeah that one.
Up next is going to be Savram who pushes back further trying to shield herself between the
zombies and her father.
Is she hurt?
She is holding.
You can't tell you're in the stairwell.
You are correct.
Up next is going to be.
Shut up Ruvor!
Get out of here!
Next the electrical one.
Is she hurt?
Electrical one.
It is going to move and in a crack of thunder it seems to disappear from its spot appearing
immediately in front of you Monet.
Monet you take that one!
I'll take the one that looks like the Hulk Hogan!
There's a moment where there's like the crack of thunder and then it's in front of you and
you can see its electrically charged fist is already drawn back.
Its lips drawn into a gruesome smile as it fires its fist forward at you in a hefty punch.
Ew is he a sentient undead?
Does he have feelings?
That will be a 30 to hit.
Yeah that's a hit and not a crit.
Good on us for being level 5.
Thank the heavens.
That was a big hit though.
Yeah 30 is bad.
That's not good.
That is 10 points of bludgeoning damage and 3 points of electricity damage.
Oh so bad.
As the fist collides with you and you can see the sparks arcing off of your body you
feel for a moment just that zzzzzzz as it hits you.
There is something to this guy.
Oh he's immune to electricity actually.
Are you?
No.
Sick.
You have to work on that.
Yeah come on pick better levels.
Build a better character.
You want to start over?
No.
No but you're metal so you should be.
Same way.
Metal, hyperconductive, nice.
Yeah but it shouldn't bother you.
It should be like no bother.
Oh my hair is standing up.
Alright the large zombie is the next to act and it sees you and slowly begins lumbering
away just boom, boom, boom moving through the laboratory 25 feet to get here.
It's actually going to stop there so it spends 2 of its actions lumbering towards you and
as it gets close there's just a rrrrrr as it leans back and it tries to slam you with
its fists.
Ok.
Boy.
Ah not a good roll, 17 to hit.
That is a miss.
Get that out of here.
from the blow and you nimbly dodge out of the way of the zombie.
That is it for them up next.
We wrap around to Scarab.
OK, Scarab is going to command Tricky to step forward 10 feet
towards that hulking zombie.
Yeah, command animal, we're going to move forward and gore.
Come on, Tricky!
Give me L.
That's a natural 20, baby.
Oh, yeah, man!
Yes, finally.
Give them cards, baby!
This is like old news by now.
Tricky gets a natural 20.
Tricky dashing in almost like he knew there was undead
up at the top of this tower, slams into this door,
sees this hulking zombie, rears back or turns its head
towards, Tricky turns his head towards his chest
and just whips his head up, tusk going through the bicep
of this creature, making it unfeebled,
enfeebled until healed.
But chances of that, I'm sure, are pretty low.
You might be surprised.
Enfeebled, OK, go ahead and roll that damage for me.
Oh, it comes.
You can't just Google enfeebled.
You have to hit that old PF2E afterwards.
God damn it.
That's really good.
OK, so he's got a minus 1 to all strength and melee-based
attack rolls, strength-based damage rolls,
and athletic checks.
Amazing.
Whoa.
Give me the damage and the type.
OK, so Tricky's damage is 2d8s plus 4.
I just rolled for double damage.
I just rolled 4 ones.
No, I thought that was a good roll.
I thought you were going the other way.
No, I rolled a 1 and a cracked or cocked 2,
rerolled it for a 1, and then I rolled 2 ones.
Wow.
So that's going to be 12 piercing damage.
Piercing, OK.
But enfeebled, if that meant anything.
Sorry.
That does mean something.
Enfeebled is huge, man.
You just made the strong guy a little less strong.
It's a minus 1 to all strength-based checks and damage.
OK, OK.
But damn, 4 ones.
That was, ooh, that hurt.
Let's sort of get through the crit.
It's OK.
Now here you are, tangled in melee
with this massive zombie.
What you got?
Very true.
We're going to place a gun against his forehead and fire.
Yeah.
All right, rolled a hit.
You won't believe it.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's another natural 20.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm a mess now.
This is wrong.
You're a liar.
I thought that was my own damn eyes.
Scarab levels his gun against this fool's forehead
and lets out a shot.
Don't forget the card.
Oh, I won't, because this fool is going to be left flat-footed
as well.
Oh my god.
All right.
Minus 2 to AC.
What is it, off target?
Or?
Vulnerable spot.
What?
What's the new term for flat-footed?
Oh, true.
Off guard.
Off guard, OK.
Look, did you like, what are you asking me?
Scarab is laying one in homeboy's forehead.
It's got him.
He's got this homeboy looking up.
Whoop.
That's going to be 26 magic.
26 magic.
26 magic Pearson.
Beautiful, the creature's head whips back
at the force of your shot.
And it slowly lowers its head again.
You can see a great chunk of its head missing.
Some of its brain's beginning to ooze out the sides
as it just regards you with that same angry,
brutish-looking face.
Scarab reloads, that's it.
Rudy.
Ah!
You are about 15 feet from the door,
so one movement would get you right in behind Tricky.
All right.
Spend that one movement.
Fantastic.
And now you can control yourself.
Control yourself.
Ha ha!
Oh, now you've been slapped pretty hard.
Please, everything will be fine.
Diplomacy check.
Pass with a 17.
And she believes you.
Everything will be fine.
You get a d8, three stamina back.
Thank you, Rootmore.
You're welcome.
Rootmore.
And then Rootmore's third action,
he runs 20 more feet into the room,
a little bit past the electrical zombie.
All righty.
Monet.
Hello, I need help again.
So there, here we are.
Nope!
Here we are, and I need you to look at this
and tell me what the damage is yet again, because I forgot.
2d10.
Yeah, we just do whatever's in the green.
Where is your epicenter?
Because you could put it, if you want to catch both of them,
you'd have to put it like right here,
which would catch Rootmore.
Not if I put it so it's hitting, so it avoids me,
but it gets tricky.
You could do that, and then tricky could make the 4d2 save
and scare it by proxy.
I will do that.
Just, you know, remember.
So, Monet.
You used your daily, right?
Yeah.
Here, use my daily, my daily PP for your saves.
I'll use it on Tricky.
I'll give you one of mine as well.
Oh my goodness.
Everybody's shoving their PP's in Matt's face.
Well, here I go.
Here's my daily.
Maximum glizzy mode.
OK.
Because it could be a lot of damage.
So.
I hope it is for that.
Monet will, because I didn't say it before,
Monet will channel her elements, and then a bunch of rocks
will start swirling around her and move from her
to swirl around these two undead and Tricky and Scarab.
And they will raise up into the sky
and slam down onto the ground in a tremor shock.
Oh.
No Fortitude takes.
Fortitude.
Ooh, pretty good saves.
I got a 90 16 on the big guy and a 90 18 on the lightning.
Which is a total?
Lightning total is a 32 for lightning.
OK.
And for big guy, his is not as good.
His is a 28.
They're both saves, so they'll take half damage.
OK, and they're not knock prone, right?
No.
OK.
No.
Bad, bad, bad, bad rolls.
Weird die tonight.
Weird die.
Scarab gets a 16.
Tricky gets a 15.
And you rolled twice for both of them.
Total?
Yeah, dog.
I rolled.
So I rolled a 1, a 2, a 4, and a 5.
Oh, no.
Fuck.
Sorry, mom.
OK, that is so for the two zombies, they take seven damage each.
I rolled like shit.
So Tricky and Scarab take 14.
Bludgeoning.
Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda.
And that area, it's good that you made that shape,
because that area is difficult to rain.
OK.
Totally not your fault, but I do like the idea of the me.
Trust me, I can take it.
It just goes bad.
Not your fault. Not your fault.
Die rolls, man.
But it's just funny.
Die rolls be how they be.
I can take it.
Well, it turns out he couldn't take it.
Yah-wee-hoo-hoo.
And that is Monay's turn.
All right, that brings it back to the weird musical looking zombie
in the back.
He reaches as you all come in and start beginning
to fight the other two zombies.
He sees this, and he reaches down both hands,
each taking a fistful of his guts.
And he pulls them forward, almost like suspenders, and lets them go.
And it lets off a horrible, clamorous, echoing, squelching noise
that reverberates throughout the room.
I need a 4-2-2 save from everybody, including my two in the back.
Come on, boys.
We've had four bad rolls.
Let's give some more new good ones.
Oh, hell.
What happened?
I ran out.
What happened?
You rolled two natural 20s?
He burned it all immediately.
He blew your load.
But there are four ones and 48s.
This is fucked up, man.
It's a balance.
All right, Monay, what did you get?
I got a 27.
OK, 27 is a success.
Rumor.
18.
Fail.
Uh-oh.
Scareb?
It's failures for both.
Fails on both.
OK, is it a critical, though?
Less than 10?
No.
OK.
No.
Scareb got a 17.
Tricky got a 14 again.
OK.
Monay, you see, as these organs snap back into place,
there's like a shock wave, like a sonic reverberation that
goes throughout the room.
And you clap your hands to your ears
in time to avoid most of it.
But there's a loud pop that happens.
And you take seven points of sonic damage.
Is this a mental effect or no?
It's not.
It's an auditory.
The other three for Rootmore, Tricky, and Scareb,
you take 14 points of sonic damage.
Oh!
It's 14!
And the three of you are sickened one
as you feel your insides begin to turn at the source
of the noise.
All right.
I'm going to have to pull some more 20s out of my butt.
I don't like this.
Rootmore is going to use a reaction.
Go ahead.
I just have to roll something really quick.
OK.
I'll remember that.
Go ahead.
He's using protector's sacrifice.
He reaches a hand towards Scareb.
Oh, this is fucking loud, but hang in there, buddy.
And reduce the damage you took Scareb by nine.
Oh my goodness.
Oh, wow.
And Rootmore takes nine damage.
Oh.
OK, so of that 14, then you will take five, Scareb.
I just did the man.
Rootmore takes 23 sonic damage.
Gah!
Don't need ears.
Nobody needs ears.
Oh, shoot.
Sharvaros failed that save and also took damage and is sickened.
Sabrum managed to save and took some of the damage.
As you see the shockwave expand, passing over
Sabrum and Sharvaros, his head whips back
and he spits out some blood, retching in pain.
He coughs down for a moment, spitting out more blood
as he begins to retch, trying to heave off that sickened condition.
He gets, let's see.
He succeeds.
Good.
He is no longer sickened.
And with that, he will rifle through his roves
and produce a bottle that he weakly uncorks and begins to drink.
Sabrum is next.
She turns, sees her father coughing up blood.
She immediately cries out in concern.
Father!
Before she turns back, a look on her face
like you haven't seen before, Monet.
Her face twists, contorts into a look of rage
before she almost imperceptibly fast dashes up next to the electrics,
or the musical zombie, sorry.
She dashes up behind him, extending an arm wide above her head,
bringing down a thunderous attack.
And that's all the time that we have for this week.
Oh!
God.
But why?
Why?
Tell me why I don't have the thing pulled up.
I do.
I just wanted to let you know that the Cursed Caravan uses
trademarks in slash or copyright zone by Paizo Inc.
In case you didn't know.
Used under Paizo Inc's community use policy,
paizo.com slash community use.
And that we are pres-
And that we are expressly prohibited from charging you
to use or access this content.
The Cursed Caravan is not published, endorsed,
or specifically approved by Paizo.
We tried, but Imad couldn't figure it out.
So as far as we know, this is free for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Forever.
Doomed to live in poverty.
Diplomacy?
Poor.
For more information about Paizo Inc and Paizo products,
visit paizo.com, please.
The Cursed Caravan theme music and beat you are hearing right now
is written by our very own Matthew.
Matt?
Years ago.
Yeah.
We would like to thank Michael Guelphi Studios,
the world reference for tabletop RPG audio for the music
and ambiance that we usually use in our episodes.
Thank you, Michael Guelphi.
You should use it too.
And if you'd like to, you can find out more about them
at michaelguelphi.com.
Check out their Patreon and Looch-doot-doot-doot-doot.
Loochador links.
Their Patreon and YouTube links in the description.
Leave us a comment and rate us five stars on your podcast
app of choice, especially Apple Podcasts.
That is the most important one for all of you iPhone users
out there.
iPads.
What are other iPads?
You know what I heard?
You don't even need an Apple device to use it.
I don't use it.
But I don't think he has an Apple device.
Oh.
Goddamn.
Oh, no.
Well, that's all the time we have, folks.
Cat decided to just plop down and knock over all my dice.
Look, send money to Imad at imad.com slash imad.
With money.
He'll no longer have to deal with this cat knocking his die
down.
She just ran away.
Imad, you got any comments for us?
Sorry, I know you're in the middle of it.
I do.
We have a comment from I love the handle, Justin.
The friendly dagger.
A friendly dagger.
Episode 35 of Crown of the Cobalt King.
He says, was that last week's?
Seems you've gotten yourselves in a bit of a sticky wicket.
I wonder how far a man would go to save his daughter
from meeting a bitter end.
Would he sacrifice the well-being of a whole town
in search of a cure?
Though, such a task would be no small undertaking.
He might seek the assistance of somebody enthralled
by the mere promise of discovery.
Somebody willing to experiment.
But even so, the townsfolk wouldn't willingly
offer themselves as lab rats for such experimentation.
They would need some covert way of distributing
their concoctions amongst the unwitting masses.
Masses, just for thought.
Cody, what have you been telling Justin?
I haven't told him shit.
I haven't talked to him about the podcast.
I haven't talked to him in weeks, let alone about the podcast.
Sorry, Justin, that I haven't talked to you in weeks.
I just like the way he thinks.
Your fault too, if you think about it.
I like the way he thinks, because that's how I'm thinking.
And it's a pretty cool comment for what we just
experienced in the episode.
Exactly.
That's why I'm reading it now.
Although, I will be honest.
Good choice.
I'm starting to wonder if it's Savram that's
doing the necromancy and Shavarose is protecting her.
I mean, I think she's a hag.
Yeah, I mean, there is something hag related 100%.
If not her, then what's the Creeds?
But either way, this isn't looking too good for them
and their family.
Good theory, and I like it.
I like you giving us hints on to what you think is going on.
We love that.
I mean, it's at least a little validating,
because that's what I've been dancing with in my brain.
But I try not to metagame too hard.
Anyway, thank you, Friendly Dagger.
Thank you, Friendly Dagger, for your friendly comment.
Love to see it, bud.
Anybody else has any predictions or anything?
Don't give us spoilers if you play the game,
but anybody has predictions.
Love to hear it.
Yeah, and question of the day, do you prefer third person
video games or first person?
Thank you.
If you'd like to contact us, aside from leaving comments
on our many platforms that you can leave comments on,
feel free to email us at thecursedcaravan.com.
We've done an email, at least.
At thecursedcaravan.gmail.com.
Thank you.
At thecursedcaravan.gmail.com.
At mod.mod.com.
Let him know if you prefer third person video games.
At mod.mod.
Whatever.
But if you do that, we will also answer
those emails on the podcast.
So do that.
Do all of that.
Comments and emails, all of our contact information
is in the description below.
Thank you for being a traveler on the Cursed Caravan.
You're so good at what you do.
You're so good.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
This is the way to being a traveler.
We're sorry.
And we're recording.
Monet started her period.
Oh no.
This is one of the worst.
From my immersion.
This is one of the worst mechanics
that we've brought into our game.
I mean, don't want that to be taken wrong,
but it just comes out of nowhere.
True.
You're sick in two.
But Cody.
Shut up.
Shut up, Matthew.
And we're recording.
Yeah, hold on.