Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, Scarab was able to convince Bloodeye, the leader
of the Red Rocks, to not interfere with the coup against the Creeds. Our party then started
snooping around a tower on the edge of town, curious by rumors of ghosts. Monet turned
into a cat and snuck in to find a friendly lonely girl. Monet was ushered out by the
girl for fear that her father might find Monet. Our story continues now!
Alright you sods!
When we last left off, we were standing outside of the tower having had a rather strange encounter
with one of the occupants. But now, here you are standing on the porch wondering what to
do next. I kinda wanna get a feel on what everybody's thinking, what everybody thinks
they should be doing. You know, just kind of like, I wanna get a, you know, a beat on
the pulse here.
Well, uh, Rootmore's thinking to himself. Monet's a witch. Literally turned into a cat.
Very useful.
But now you're putting it together! That hat is-
Rootmore instinctively starts trying to light a torch.
Scarab is like, shaking a little bit.
Rootmore's instinctively, without realizing, like, lighting a torch and finding a pitchfork.
I don't know why I want this right now.
He's putting on a Hawaiian shirt.
Rootmore, stop it! Put it!
These are different times. The enemy is outside the walls. Monet is our friend, witch or not.
Looks at Monet.
Yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean, I haven't known you long enough to really call you my friend.
I would say that we're good acquaintances.
Oh, we're friends.
Careful, Rootmore.
Whether you like it or not, we're friends.
He's friends with a witch! Burn him! Burn him!
And his scarab's gone.
Turn around, he's getting carried down the street again.
Monet's staring at the tower. I wonder how many bricks were used to build this.
Oh, Monet, use your power. You know, when you pull rocks, just bring the tower down.
Is that feasible?
Sorry, I've been drinking. That's a bad idea. Don't.
I don't think I'm high enough level to do something like that.
Yeah, I don't know what to do. There's a lot to do.
Start laying things on the table. Like, what do you know you gotta deal with?
What aren't you sure you gotta deal with?
You know, I just want to hear what your thoughts are for everything you've experienced so far.
What you think's coming up, what you're worried about, what you're not worried about.
Yada yada.
Part of me thinks back at the dungeon crawls we've been doing, that's kind of...
It's gonna come back up, but right now I feel like it's kind of secondary.
And maybe if it happens during our chaos, it's a good way for us to get through easier.
But there's also... We have a guarantee we have to go talk to the lumber mill, the leader of the lumber mill.
Jarlben.
Jarlben, yeah, thank you.
The consortium.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that we should go talk to that guy, Jarlben.
And then, like, what if we just...
Casually...
Ignorantly...
Just try going to the Creed Man or just see what happens, you know?
I don't think they'd kill us if it was an honest mistake.
Just trying to go in, see if we get any information just at the gate.
I'm not saying we try and sneak in or whatever.
It's just we just wander up and we're just like, hey, you guys do tours type of thing, you know?
What's the worst that could happen?
They say no and we leave.
It's a fair play, but I don't think I should show my face.
Rootmoor?
I do have this Hawaiian shirt.
I'm a tourist.
No, that would be lying. I can't do that.
We are tourists, Rootmoor.
We don't live here.
Guess so.
Not really tour... We are kind of touring the area and killing.
Well, that's self-defense, you know?
We're good guys.
Yes, self-defense when you...
There's nothing wrong about anything we've done.
We've seen the other hotspots.
We've gone to the place where I got a bunch of money.
The Rogue Lady.
Oh, yes.
We've seen this tower now.
Talked to the little girl, you know?
Talked to the sheriff. That was fun.
I didn't really get a beat on what y'all are thinking now.
Tumberbell.
Scarab talking to me.
Our feelings about the situation.
Yeah, just about speculation on what you think is going on.
I honestly, I'm unsure.
Other... Yeah, I don't really know that I have anything that
necessarily makes me feel like we need to go back to the crucible.
We did what we needed to there.
That's how I feel about it.
I don't necessarily have any feelings one way or another about the creeds,
other than this town seems miserable and Scarab says that they're bad.
And Monet is like, OK, so they're bad.
She's curious about the little girl and she wants to help her be her friend
and maybe talk to her dad and see if her dad would be OK with her going out
and maybe getting a drink or something.
But overall, I feel like Monet is kind of lost.
So it's interesting that you say that, you know,
what you've done down in the crucible kind of seems like it's over with.
But the whole reason you ended up down there, at least the most recent time,
was for the people that were captured there.
Is there no concern for you that if the problem isn't dealt with,
that they won't just capture more people?
Because, yeah, you, I mean, you put a bandaid on the cut,
but you didn't stop the person that made the cut.
Yeah, this is true.
I forgot about that. The whole abduction thing.
Yeah, the butchered literally got carried away by Kobolds,
who say wouldn't be.
One more. Well, I guess, I guess, as far as Monet is concerned,
it's that that seems like what the focus is here in town,
trying to get the town to take care of itself
so that they can protect each other in a way that that won't happen
to put other people in charge, because the creeds don't seem to care about their people.
So that's where it seemed like now the focus is on getting the town safe
with its community.
Yeah, that makes sense, too.
But I guess I should be thinking about Kobold, since it's the crown of the Kobold King.
Well, I mean, even beyond that, I'm not trying to bring it up to be like,
oh, guys, Kobolds, it's more of just a, you know, you got to poke holes in the logic.
If it's like, oh, we did the thing and it's fine.
And it's like, well, you resolved what happened because something happened,
but you didn't solve the why the something happened.
And then there's other things that are strange.
There's, you know, these symptoms that people are coming up with,
not knowing what's going on with that.
There's two times now you've encountered undead in the area,
once in the form of an undead Kobold and then again an undead Wyvern.
And all the dwarves at the crucible.
Yes, the skeletons there as well.
Yeah, people are coming back.
We need to talk to the apothecary, see if she figured anything out.
Yeah, that's my thing.
I have all those little ends.
I'm just not sure what to ask.
I'm forgetful.
Well, so OK, so we're going north.
Well, then I think we should on our way up there, stop the mushroom lady.
At Jack and Apes.
Yeah, and just see how she's doing.
I would like to go stop and talk to the cleric also.
Not necessarily because I think I have anything to say, but just to wrap things up.
You did go to the cleric recently.
The drop and then you tried to get you tried to get another reward for it.
And she was like, I gave you the reward.
And you're like, no, you didn't.
She's like, pretty sure I gave you a sword.
She's a cleric, so maybe she's got information about the undead.
You know, maybe.
But I mean, we don't have to go to the Schmitt throne ideas.
You can't.
I'm just trying to find a cleric that knows about undead.
Come on, Boney.
OK, look, we're more.
You're not clearly you don't know what's going on.
All right.
Boney, I know about undead though.
Yeah, but not here.
Right.
Or do you?
I don't know exactly.
Enlighten me.
What's going on?
Yeah, so.
Quick, cast light on her.
What do you know about Twinkles, Rudemore?
Twinkles, I've heard it in this town.
I can roll on it, maybe.
Did you do it?
Assuming that you know all of the information
that you need to know based off of you being a butcher
and a cleric without the help of other butchers and clerics,
Rudemore, that is just ignorance.
Ignorance.
Wait till you see my roll.
OK.
Rolling for what?
God damn.
Hello, are you OK?
What was the question we were trying to figure out?
Just undead in general?
No, that's not the question at all.
The question is, does she know about the undead in the area?
No, no.
The one that she asked you was if you know
anything about the Twinkles.
That's right, the Twinkles.
Yeah, that's what Scarab asked.
But Monet is saying that she wants
to gather information from the town
on things that are happening in the town which you're not from.
Golly.
I've been here a couple days.
That does not change what I just said.
You're not from here.
The I Heart New York takes it way too seriously.
Really do, I promise.
Twinkles.
What would I roll for Twinkles?
Medicine.
Whatever you roll, it doesn't matter.
Let's see, please figure it out for us, Emon.
Natural 20.
No way.
33.
Well, he doesn't know what it is, but he does have a cure.
It's not him knowing it, just like something
from his medicine book falls out and one of y'all find it.
In all of your extensive medical knowledge and everything
you know from the healing arts, you've
never heard of any disease called the Twinkles.
That sounds preposterous as a name, something childish
and obviously made up.
You also think that this is an ignorant way
that the townsfolk have ascribed several seemingly random,
unconnected instances to one moment of panicked fear.
Oh, this is stupid.
It's probably fake.
People are just faking it.
I don't know.
Have we seen people with symptoms
as we travel around town and stuff?
Not specifically.
But you remember the first time you went there
and you were asking what the mushrooms are going to treat.
She was like, I don't know, because nobody
has the same symptoms.
Everybody's just seemingly slowly getting sick.
And it's not an uncommon thing during some kind of what
would be a flu season.
Or if this is the cold season or whatever.
Or hay fever is common now.
It's not something that is aligning with what traditionally
happens yearly.
And not only that, with more and more people getting sick,
in quotes, almost nobody is sharing the same symptoms.
That's why they haven't been able to diagnose that,
oh, there's a disease or a plague or something like that.
Because if it is a disease or a plague,
then why is it infecting so many so differently?
It kind of just seems like something is happening
that is affecting the people of this town,
but nobody knows what.
Now why don't you roll a religion check on why
there's undead in this town?
I think the butcher is poisoning everybody.
He's testing everybody.
Figure that one out.
Roll a natural 20 on that one, too.
Putting in different things to see what the reaction is.
And people don't know it.
We should kill them.
I don't tell you to make rolls, Emon.
Rue Morgue just wants to be the town butcher.
Roll the natural 17 for my next combat hit.
No, I don't think so.
What were you actually rolling for?
God damn.
See what you know about the butcher?
I don't actually tell you to roll, Emon.
You said something that was like a good idea,
and then I forgot.
It wasn't a good idea.
I said to roll to see why there's undead in this town.
Something that you can't possibly know.
No, no, there was something you said.
That is what you said.
I'll never know.
I know that's what she said,
but there was something in it that you said
that sparked an idea, and then it's gone.
That's just, that's my fault.
Can you take a moment to look around
and admire what a beautiful day it is.
The sun is shining.
It's nice and warm, but not too hot.
And a gentle breeze rolls through the town,
kicking up small tufts of dirt.
See that, ladies and gentlemen?
That's what a natural 17 gets you in perception.
Beautiful dialogue and description.
Let's kick down this door.
Big mushroom house.
What are you doing with the mushrooms?
They better be edible.
I don't know what he's talking about.
The lady, the apothecary.
She took all of our mushrooms.
They were just talking about the tower.
It's not a mushroom house, Emon, what are you doing?
I'm not in the tower.
I'm not the big mushroom.
I'm not crazy, you're crazy.
He has the twinkles.
Yeah, Scarab thinks that the twinkles slash something else,
he thinks it has something to do with the little girl.
Matt and Scarab thinks it's a little girl,
so we do need to go back there.
Okay, so you guys are going to the apothecary first?
Going to Jack and Abe's?
Okay.
I just so often want to say shit that has nothing to do
with what's actually happening in the podcast.
I'm so sorry for that.
I was thinking about shit we did, like,
episode eight or nine, just, you know,
you have the mushroom, Scarab, and Rootmarsh is like,
let me have those.
I was just thinking about walking in.
I wanted to eat them all.
These are quest items.
They're not labeled as such.
I was just imagining Scarab walking into this place
that he's definitely been to and harassed multiple times,
just walking in, Rootmarsh kicks the door,
Scarab saunters through.
Nice place you've got here.
Like he's never fucking seen it before.
That poor lady.
As you make your way up the street,
heading towards Jack and Abe's,
you can't help but notice now that you're closer
that there is a massive line of people.
Oh, great.
That comes out the door and wraps around the building.
As you get closer and closer,
you can pick up on the subtle breeze
of today's wonderful weather,
the subtle smell of hot butter and cinnamon.
I guess we'll get in line.
First thing for me is a perception check on these people.
Are they sick?
Sure.
That's what I would like to do before getting in line.
Give me a roll.
Oh, they're sick as hell.
She's, she either found something
or she's making shit up and taking advantage of people.
29.
Okay, so kind of like looking over everybody that's in line.
You do like hear a cough, hear a sniffle there,
maybe somebody sneezes,
but it's not the faces of those who are like down-trodden
and ill, it's not people who are concerned or worried.
In fact, almost everybody in the line seems to have a face
of like anticipatory glee on their face.
And I think it's in this moment that it kind of dawns on you
that once a week you remember that Laurel Gebrie
makes the most amazing cinnamon pancakes
and the entire town seems to line up to get a taste
of that one day of the week.
Today's the day.
What day is it?
Did you say Monday?
You said Monday earlier.
I was like, is this, do we literally just show,
I'm, you know, what's this about now?
Just, it's the day that she makes pancakes, man.
People are excited.
Hey everyone, who wants to get sick?
I know.
In fact, you can see several of the townspeople in line.
Some of them bring their own bowls, plates,
or other receptacles.
A few of them have already tucked a handkerchief
into their petticoats,
waiting for this delicious smelling pancake.
I'm not waiting in line.
This is stupid.
We need to push through.
Monday's in line.
Morning, you're better than that.
Come here.
What's the catch?
There's someone.
Is this life or death?
Is there anyone at the door, like letting people in?
No, doors propped open with people like standing in it.
Just the line is that long.
Every once in a while,
somebody will like squeeze their way out to go past,
then you can see them with a, like,
either a contented look on their face,
rubbing their stomachs,
or walking out with like a plate
that has a still steaming pancake on it.
Scarab!
Start coughing on everybody and say you have the twinkles.
So we can get in there.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Let me think this out real quick.
Cause this could also get me thrown in jail.
Okay.
Damn it.
We're friends at the jail.
A rare moment of precedence.
But you can't lie for shit.
No, but he knows what we're trying to do.
He knows our intentions.
Don't laugh, I had to say that right.
Monday.
Monday, this is time like a-
I appreciate you quietly laughing, Matthew,
so I have the option to cut it.
I appreciate it, thank you.
Silly words are funny, man.
Monet, does this sound like a good or a bad idea?
Just get in there quick.
You can still get your pancakes.
Scarab falls to the ground.
He has the twinkles.
I'll take performance or deception.
From both of them?
From both of you.
Or one of you can roll the aid.
Aid me.
Can I aid as well?
You can try.
Yeah.
Just remember if you fail it, it is a minus.
I'm rolling deception, and if you can't, then you can't.
But once you get in trouble with your god now,
remember that now.
Oh no, what Ruemore's gonna do, I already have it.
He's not lying.
Monet, you said either deception or performance?
I could have the twinkles, you know.
He's doing deception, so you're gonna aid on that
if you have it.
She has zero in reception.
I probably shouldn't roll.
I've got a plus three.
Bros, we're all good because this dude coughs up
some nasty stuff.
It surprises him even.
Some weird gray, black, brown, green, yellow mucus
flies out of his mouth, and you see shock in his eyes.
And we're going with a 31.
He just sees even himself.
We'll say that.
Oh my god, I think I have the twinkles.
He really does think he has the twinkles.
Your display is enough to shock the crowd
out of their otherwise happy moment of anticipation,
and a great number of them back away from you
back away from the door.
Save but whoever's in the doorway
and one person just behind them.
Yeah, he's this close to pancakes.
He ain't moving, but it's enough to get you pretty much
to the front of the line.
It's okay, I'm a healer.
Come with me, boy.
And then the line.
Take us away somewhere else.
I'm back here now.
The line reforms really.
It looks so real.
Look, you don't have to lie,
you don't have to tell the truth either.
Let's get inside.
Get some medicine.
Out of my way.
Please remove yourself from the doorway.
Yeah, Mune can't really help with any of this.
She's got a zero deception, diplomacy,
intimidation and performance.
She's at the back of the line again.
She doesn't have anything for talking to people.
Some of the people take their napkins or cloth or whatever
that they had tucked into their shirts
and they pull them back and cover their faces a little bit,
but they back away from you enough to where you would be
essentially at the front of the line.
From the doorway, you know from what you've seen inside
that it's not far from the counter.
So even though there's somebody still standing there
at the door, you would be in in a matter of minutes tops.
Cool.
So.
Oh yeah.
You wanna hop in line?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, Mune's already in there.
Scarab's gonna like pick himself up off of the ground,
pull his hood up and wrap it around his face.
He's like, he's actually a little worried.
These pupils are real small.
Good actor, Scarab.
Good actor.
Whatever I do to get by, you know.
I mean, if you beat your perception DC, you believe it too.
Oh, I don't know.
Let's see.
Would you get like a 31 total or something?
31, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you think your front's fucked.
He's dead.
Yeah, Mune also thinks he is.
He's dying.
So for real.
Taps on the shoulder in front of us.
For real, hey.
The person in front of you is a rather scraggly,
scrawny looking person.
He looks very thin,
but you can see like hints of wiry muscle,
probably due to hard labor.
And he turns around and he has a shock of,
give me a moment.
Uh-oh, are we finding a special person?
That'd be cool.
You could say that.
That'd be cool.
It's the butcher.
Damn it.
There's a shock of meat on his back.
Edgren, get out of the way.
I don't think that Edgren was the butcher.
No, no, no.
It wasn't Ed.
No, we're just thinking of who this person is.
Just start saying names.
I'll get it right eventually.
Who are you?
Mom.
Father, you son of a bitch.
No, you're the son of a bitch, my boy.
They hugged.
So the figure in front of you,
as I said before, he looks very scrawny and wiry.
He's on the shorter side, very small looking,
but there seems to be a muscle-iness
to his scrawny-ness, if that makes sense.
So on the shorter side to Monet
or on the shorter side to these two?
Oh, to Monet.
Okay.
He towers above the two of you.
He's probably in the neighborhood of five, seven.
Oh, okay.
He has, from what you can see,
he has a slumped posture too,
and that probably doesn't help
with the perceived height of him.
But as you tap him on the shoulder,
he turns around and you get a better look at his face,
and his cheeks are sunken in.
His eyes have deep, dark circles underneath them.
He has short, cropped black hair
that is a bit greasy,
and his beard is unevenly shaven,
and you can actually see the remnants of fresh nicks
as if he had sloppily shaved his face that morning.
And he, rather than just turning to look at you,
kind of turns in place the entirety of his body,
so now he's standing backwards in line,
and he's looking at you.
Gulp.
Wow.
What do you want?
Our friend.
He's sick, he's sick.
Are you here for sickness medicine?
I'm here for pancake.
Oh.
It's pancake day.
What?
Are you here for pancake?
That's your face on it.
We're pretty sure our friend is sick.
It's pancake day.
And this apothecary has medicine for the sick
that he has, so do you mind if we just get inside?
We're not gonna take the pancakes away from you.
It's just for the medicine that she also has.
Roll out of diplomacy.
She's got zero diplomacy.
Oh, I know what you're trying to do.
You want my pancake.
No, you're gonna have to wait in line.
I'm getting a pancake.
I couldn't lie to you if I wanted to.
I do want a pancake.
How much are these pancakes?
I was planning on also getting a pancake.
What if we buy you your pancake?
Scare blokes everyone.
Free pancake?
Free pancake.
Oh, look at this.
Mark sticks his hand into his pocket,
pulls out some cooked sausage patties.
Breakfast sausage.
I like meat.
I don't know why people think dead people smell weird.
Cool.
What's your name?
Hey, hey, hey, Rootmore.
How do I say this?
He's staring at this strange man.
Try to see what's wrong with this guy.
Yeah, sure.
A medicine truck.
Are you a ranger?
Yes.
I saw a dead ranger once.
Where?
I buried him.
That, but where?
Whoa.
In your graveyard.
And he points off in the direction of the town sanitary.
Wait a minute.
Can I do a check on this guy
to see if he's the gravedigger?
You're the groundskeeper.
I had a 19 on the die.
Yep, you remember him.
This is Varren.
Oh, Varren.
My goodness, how are you doing?
He's the town gravedigger
and the things that you remember about him,
he is an awkward and eccentric individual.
In fact, all of you have noticed that
even though he's been talking to you,
he's not once made eye contact with any of you.
It almost seems like he stares unblinkingly
at some part of your face, but never in your eyes.
It's just so funny.
I'm just out of context.
I buried a ranger.
Whoa, hang on.
Hey.
The town, he is prone to fits of exaggeration
and awkward outbursts.
And for the most part, the town discounts his ravings
as more of a annoyance than actual harm.
In fact, anytime something comes up,
whenever he makes an outrageous claim,
he is usually greeted with disdain as the town,
like whoever's in charge, if it's the town guard
or one of the town officials,
they basically flip a coin to see
who has to deal with escorting him home.
I think this is our guy.
We find out who died,
what happened when they were buried,
how they were buried.
That's right, our ranger's still alive.
For a second, I was like, yeah, it's the guy we found.
Maybe it's the one that was in the spike pit.
Well, he said that he buried him in the graveyard.
Yeah, I was thinking they probably recovered the body.
But then again, I don't know if we even told anybody
about that body.
He also just said I buried a ranger once.
And considering these are like the wilds
where they're frequent rangers go out to hunt all the time,
town's got a butcher, means somebody's bringing the meat.
Sure, plenty of them die.
Guy can't even do it himself.
But yeah, he's the town grave digger.
A couple other things you know about him,
he tends to have some of these outbursts
at like town hall meetings,
and people are just like, you rascal.
And they try to move him out of the way.
You've heard rumors about him
that he's like an avid scavenger.
And so some people are worried
about leaving any kind of valuables on their loved ones
when they have them buried in the town cemetery,
lest they not end up in the grave,
but in the pockets of old Farron here.
He's also only around 35 years old.
And the gravelly nature of his voice is unfitting
for somebody so small and so young.
This guy has something.
This guy's got something for us.
Did you get anything on that medicine check?
Oh, I did roll.
Not that I, I don't think he noticed.
I don't think he knows that we're talking about him
right here.
23.
See what's up with this dude?
Physically, mentally, what have you?
Doing a what check?
Medicine check.
Medicine on him? 23.
You imagine it was something
that he was probably born with.
He's just a little different,
and the town doesn't really know how to deal with that.
Okay, so not Twinkles.
No.
No glaring sickness.
Just a boy, a boy in his graves.
Anyways, do you mind if we get past you?
He needs medicine.
He's sick and dying.
Oh no.
You're not getting a pancake before I get a pancake.
But you can wait with me.
Not long.
Well, do you think you could help us get
in front of other people with you?
Like we could get in front of you also?
You shouldn't cut in line.
That's not nice.
Yeah, but he's dying.
Emily.
Yeah.
I got an idea.
Okay.
Hold on, he has an idea.
Hey, Varren.
Any crazy stories as of late?
See anything in the graveyard?
Lots of dirt.
No giant bugs crawling out from the ground.
Nothing like that.
No strange bodies, anything that looks weird.
No, I like bugs.
I would know if I saw a bug.
I also like bugs.
Who was the last person you buried?
You could truly ask this guy anything.
What was the last bug you saw?
Devon Mallory, 42, died of something.
Lungs, I think, not breathing.
Not breathing.
He didn't have anything shiny on him.
Oh yeah, you're finding good shiny stuff, Varren.
I have shiny things that I found,
but I haven't found anything shiny lately.
I got all kinds of shiny things on the shelf though.
Oh yeah, back at your hut, the one by the cemetery?
Yeah, back in my hut.
What's your favorite?
Probably the shiny one.
What's it look like?
It's pretty shiny.
What shape is it?
We could probably go look at it
once we all have pancakes together.
You don't wanna be in my house.
Oh, right, why not?
These guys are new in town, wanna show them around?
No.
Not even for sausage?
No, I want a pancake.
Have you ever had a pancake wrapped around a sausage?
Oh, oh.
No, that's not a pancake.
No, no it's not.
Something much greater that I just invented.
What's it called, Rube Mall?
Rube Mall.
Let me clean my pants.
So excited for it now.
You're talking about those breakfast corn dogs.
God damn, oh my God.
Where the pancake is, blueberry pancake as well sometimes.
Whoa, dipping in syrup.
Oh baby, oh baby.
No, Rube Mall, his eyes go wide.
Scarab, business opportunity.
What are you talking about?
Speak of this to no one.
To what?
Don't, we must say this behind closed doors.
What you just said is an amazing idea.
Well, I mean, fine, sure,
but then what else are we gonna wrap the,
he's gonna take the pancake,
we gotta wrap the pancake in,
we gotta get in with him.
Yes.
It's not sausage, what, coins?
What else is good?
What was this guy's name, I can't remember.
Verin. Verin.
Verin.
Rootmar Redmayne.
What are your favorite things?
This cute.
I like pancakes.
Very good.
What if you get a bunch of pancakes?
Go on.
To where you don't have to wait once a week.
More pancakes?
Yeah, more pancakes.
I like pancakes.
One condition.
You get to show us your cool shiny stuff,
and we'll show you some cool shiny stuff
that we have, of course.
Oh, it's time for pancakes.
And he turns around as the line moves forward.
That's a step, that's a step.
I hope they're not too expensive.
Three gold each.
Just where it takes.
You make your way as the line begins to move
further in until you are now all standing at the counter.
You can now see Laurel Gebrey.
She is moving like a whirlwind right now.
In and out of the back, coming to and fro,
she's got a rather dingy and ratty-looking chef's hat
on top of her head, as well as a rather messy apron.
You can see it's covered with flour
and dribbles of something dark.
But the smell, now that you're in here,
is unmistakable heaven.
You can smell the rich, thick, fatty odor of butter
and the hefty, musky smell of cinnamon filling the room
as she flurries to and fro, bringing back and forth plates.
Just one at a time, a single pancake for everybody.
Can't bake.
And now the line is moving much more rapidly.
She seems in a frenzy, half in shock and awe of herself
and at the other time elated, like she's on a chef's high,
just whirling plates out.
And before long, you are right in front
and your new friend, Varren, holds out a rather dingy,
cracked-looking plate and his gray eyes
stare forward emotionlessly and his mouth is a straight line
that seems to twitch in the corner as she walks up
and slaps a hefty hotcake right onto his plate.
And he just says, pancakes.
And he turns and begins to walk away.
Shit, can I slide a hand sausage from Rootmore's pocket
and slap it on the man's plate?
Yeah, go for it.
What is this, Perception DC?
He's doing a slight of hand,
yeah, it would be against your Perception DC.
He would not, he's not against you seeing it.
He would, he's just trying to get it as fast as he can
because this guy, he's got a mission.
He's gonna go eat this pancake.
I want him to try the sausage.
Let's see if we can tie him in.
Should I roll to see how good the sausage is?
Yes.
Oh no!
What am I rolling?
Well, what could I roll if I'm trying
to just grab it from him?
If you're trying to get it on the plate
without it being noticed.
And not trying to be sneaky.
Well, oh yeah, I don't know.
Do you want Varren to notice you putting,
do you want him to notice you touching his plate?
That's the real question.
You're right.
This guy, do you want him seeing you touch his plate?
You're right, that's tough.
No, I don't.
Okay, then it would be slight of hand.
That's also why.
I'm gonna throw that on the table.
I shouldn't have even, I shouldn't have thrown that away.
Thank you.
Okay.
I have to give him to Cody
because then I think I still have it.
I'm like, oh, I haven't used this yet.
I don't remember.
Plus nine, 25.
Okay, just leave him with that sausage.
Hopefully he remembers to smell the flavor.
Yeah, the entire time he's walking away,
it's almost a miracle that you get it on the plate
because he's not even looking where he's going.
He's staring straight down at the pancake.
But he must be so transfixed on that
because his unmoving, unblinking face
is staring at his plate as he marches away out of the door.
He bumps somebody as he goes, but seems unfazed.
And he walks off into the summer day.
14 on the sausage.
Okay.
That's a good sausage.
It's a fair sausage, right?
Whenever you roll low,
you have to look at the game master and be like,
yeah, nodding and shit.
Like, yeah, that's fucking good.
You won't be able to ask him for some time.
Yeah.
My rich sausage.
Monet has her hands out waiting for her pancake.
Yeah.
There's a hot pancake dropped into your hands
within a moment's notice.
Ouch.
Yeah, she's just gonna smile in pain and walk out.
Like her pancake.
It's on your gauntlet.
Take one point of fire damage.
God damn.
Just your hand has been heating in the sun.
It's like a hot walk.
Yeah, after that,
she'll just bounce it on her one metal hand.
But yeah, she's right in front of you.
She's got a pancake in your hand,
and then she's still holding a hot skillet,
waiting to serve one to each of you
if you offer something for it to go in.
Scarab opens up.
He's got like a side bag.
He's gonna open that up.
Drop it in.
And she does.
Mine too in there.
That'd be great.
We were wondering about the cure.
The mushroom three pot.
All the way over here to you.
I know you're busy right now.
I was wondering-
Very busy.
If you needed help.
Do you know how to cook?
No.
Then no.
She does have-
And then points at the giant ball hand.
No.
Thank you.
I have.
I cannot turn this down.
I have experience cooking.
You ever served sausage with your pancakes?
I thought you were-
Sausage in a pancake.
No, don't be ridiculous.
On the side, little patty.
They're both eatable.
We can get very ambitious with this.
Okay, roll persuasion if you want to see
if she'll let you help.
I'll aid you with that.
Diplomacy, right?
Yep.
Okay.
Sorry.
He said persuasion.
I'm like, good.
Wrong game.
Diplomacy.
26.
I don't hate.
For free.
I'll do it for free.
Please.
Just like it so much.
Today only.
All right.
I'll cook, you serve.
You can watch.
I'll teach you what I know.
Let's go.
All right.
He removes his gauntlets, rolls up his sleeves.
She throws a equally dingy and dirty apron at you.
It lands on your head.
Oh, thank you.
It's way too long.
So he's tripping over it the whole time.
It's also a little wet.
Go ahead and give me a couple of crafting checks.
I want to see three of them.
Oh no.
Oh good.
Uh, 26.
15.
And another 26.
Ooh.
Damn.
You make your way to the back
and you find yourself in a makeshift kitchen.
Best set and apothecary you can put together.
A bubbling cauldron that you imagine normally is used
for some kind of alchemical concoctions
instead is giving off this aromatic,
sweet smelling cinnamon aroma.
And you notice that there is some form of like cinnamon
syrup or infusion that she's created.
And before long, she instructs you that the batter
is to be made off to the side,
mixed with a scoop of that,
infused subtly, cooked lightly over flame
before flipped, increase the heat by moving it
closer to the fire and getting a quick sear.
You only have moments to go before you have to flip it
on plates and move them out quickly.
You perform so well that you begin to pick up
the subtleties of how she makes her batter
and what she uses to make this syrupy concoction.
And the two of you become this like whirling dervish
of a dance, plates and ingredients flying left,
right and center as you get everything down.
And before long, not even an hour,
the entire line is gone.
And you feel like you are pretty confident in fact,
that you could recreate this pancake.
Ooh, ah!
Rootmore, you now know how to make
Laurel Gebrie's famous cinnamon pancakes.
Wow.
This is the first time in a long time
I'm gonna take a note.
Pancakes.
Rootmore makes pancakes.
I want some cinnamon pancakes.
Oh my God, thank you, Cody.
Me too, I'm hungry now.
Good rolls.
Don't know about everybody else,
but growing up I wasn't a fan of cinnamon.
Now, now because I think about my gut,
I want cinnamon always.
My dad hates cinnamon and I fucking love it.
Man, I get those NutriGrain bars that are just cinnamon.
Even cinnamon Pop Tarts, I've just grown to love that shit.
We always said that if my dad were in hell,
it would be apple pie, peach cobbler and red hots.
I love peach cobbler.
He likes peach cobbler.
The thing is, he loves apple pie and peach cobbler.
But if somebody puts more cinnamon than he thinks is okay,
then it'd be like they fucking ruined it, too much cinnamon.
Yeah, that's definitely how I used to feel.
I think it's the health benefits
have made it a thing that I like.
I think that happens to everybody sometimes
when you're like, oh, I gotta do this thing now
and then after a while you're craving that thing.
I mean, palates change, people, they get used to stuff.
It's just my dad's 61 and he still hates cinnamon.
Hey, man.
That's, I'm pretty sure he's set on that.
I'm on a long fight with mushrooms.
That's how I know about sweet potatoes.
Yeah.
They just make me angry.
Ooh, but if you burn them up a little bit, boy, oh boy.
I've got butter, salt and pepper.
Steak.
I love them savory.
Do them like a steak, because I'm the same way,
but I've had them with like burnt ends, salt,
barbecue sauce on it, good Lord.
I've tried it many ways, because I like all food.
I can't think of anything else besides sweet potato.
And it's not, most of it is like,
I'm treating it like a person that betrayed me.
Yeah.
You're holding the grudge.
Because I love pumpkin pie, holy shit.
I remember one Thanksgiving,
I thought I was digging into pumpkin pie.
I take a bite, like I spit it out.
Like, what is this?
Sweet potato pie.
It's a fucking liar, that's what it is.
It's something that can't decide what it wants to be.
It is a shame, because my grandmother used to bring me
pumpkin empanadas from Laredo,
whenever they would come visit.
And if they didn't have the pumpkin empanadas,
she would get me sweet potato empanadas.
And I immediately knew every time.
It's the same thing, I used to hate them because of that.
Not sweet potatoes, but sweet potato empanadas.
But knowing it's a different thing, it's fine.
It's just not the other thing.
Yeah.
I've tried them as fries, you know,
what you guys are saying and stuff.
And still, I'm like, fuck this.
Sweet potato fries dipped in mayonnaise,
which sounds gross, but is amazing.
That's so good.
That's too good.
Yeah, I mean, I totally agree with,
I'm not gonna go buy a sweet potato.
Like, I don't think I'm ever just gonna go do that for me.
But they're palatable, I need salt,
and they need to be not floppy for me.
Yeah, that too.
Sweet potato mash, I can do it,
but I'm gonna put more salt than I should have.
Didn't you have the, when I did the sweet potato
chorizo mash for Thanksgiving, like forever ago?
Mm-hmm, it's good.
Mm-hmm.
I had some.
Now I know how you really felt.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
It's fine, it's not gonna hurt my feelings.
I won't get upset if somebody hates an ingredient I'm using.
It's just like, well, you were never gonna like this.
I feel ashamed, though, because I like everything.
You know, that's just the one thing that,
like I said, it's mostly like a,
it's an I hate you thing more than, yeah, deception.
Why are you lying to me?
I did the same thing.
I was like two in the morning at my grandma's house.
I'm like 11 years old, go in the fridge.
Oh yeah, eggnog, nope, buttermilk.
That's just two huge gulps,
and I threw up in the kitchen, dude.
So yeah, but I still love eggnog,
but damn, I'm looking at labels.
I'm looking at labels.
It's really funny, because I'm realizing now
that I had exposure methods to certain foods
that other people wouldn't have.
Because like, all right, so the thing that makes me think
of especially with buttermilk, when I was real young,
we would always go to our grandparents for the summer,
and just like two, three weeks here in the summer,
and my grandparents, they were retired,
so it was just like, we'll just do whatever.
If it was the summer, then we were doing like,
you know, mountain biking or hiking or whatever,
but there were plenty of times where we'd go to like
the rec center and do pool stuff.
Well, one time, Granny and Grandpa took me and my brother
to a event that was at the rec center,
but it was trying things that other people either don't like
or don't consider to be edible things.
It was real weird.
When you were there, you could basically,
you could try edible flowers,
or they put like buttermilk in like little tiny things
that you could sip out of,
or I'm trying to remember other things you tried there.
Tried mint leaf, like straight from the leaf,
and a bunch of other things.
I really can't remember what all I tried,
but they had a bunch of stuff, and some of it was like,
I think they had like roasted crickets,
was like one of the other things you could try,
so it's like, that's something I would try.
As a little kid, and just ate a bunch of weird stuff
at an event, and because it was a thing we were going to do
that was supposed to be fun, there was no part of me
that was just like, no, never, and so it's like,
yes, drinking something and expecting something else, awful.
But I love trying new things, I love doing that.
Like, but just something, maybe it's the name,
sweet potato, like just the word potato,
just call it a fucking dirt cake or something.
Like, don't call it a potato.
I know, I know there's yam,
but still, that's connected to potato.
What I'm truly hearing is, for you, Emad,
and you can deny this, and it's, I understand that,
but I think there is a chance for you with sweet potatoes.
I don't know.
I think there's a chance.
Like, just because you do know that it's like a deception
and a hate thing, there is a chance.
Well, I don't like it so much that it's one of those things,
everybody's got this, it's something you wanna hate.
You know?
It's like, I'm not gonna let you win, sweet potato.
You don't get this belly.
That's what I'm saying, that's why.
It's an inanimate object, and it can't win.
It's already lost because it's in front of you, cooked.
That's why there's a chance.
I understand all of this is ridiculous.
There's still a chance.
Just, because like, I just equate it like with mushrooms.
I want to like it, I want to, but when they're raw,
it ejects itself from my mouth.
Yeah.
Like I spit it out.
I just like, can't make it happen
no matter how hard I try.
I always revisit stuff like that.
Same thing with raw tomato.
I don't think I've, I don't remember eating raw mushrooms.
They've always been.
Raw or even in.
I used to eat raw mushrooms all the time,
especially in salad.
Yeah, it'd be like lettuce, carrot, raw mushroom,
and some ranch dressing.
Even if they.
Some cheese, oh my God.
If they're cut too thick, I can't do it.
I like thin sliced in my stuff, but.
Or when they fry up, they crisp up a little bit.
A trees, put it in a trees.
Put it in a cheese grater.
A mushroom?
Yeah.
That'd be interesting.
That'd be like, oh my God, what's that called?
When you do a, like a Wellington,
they'll do that where you mince up the mushrooms real fine
and then you mix it with other stuff.
Yeah, I can, you could turn that into a substitute
for like crumbled meat.
Possibly.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I just gotta find other ways to cook certain things
that I can have them palatable.
But there's a chance, sweet potatoes, there's a chance.
Maybe someday you'll lose the hate.
Probably not.
No, that's totally fine.
What the hell are we doing?
You just finished cooking.
Yeah, you kicked ass in the kitchen.
And the two of you now are in that back little
section where her cauldron and the other ingredients
are on shelves, both kind of like propped onto chairs,
heavy breathing, as you sigh relief
that it's finally over.
Five days later.
It was about an hour.
And so all four of you now are here in Jack and Apes
and job's done, now all that remains is to clean up,
which she assures you, you don't have to worry about.
She normally has to clean up anyway every week.
Yeah, Rootmore's pulling batter out of his beard.
That was, that was pretty intense.
I've never had that many customers before.
Every week, same thing.
Ever since I started doing it, but I have to keep going.
I have to perfect it.
Just something I do for myself,
a little fun in the free moment, as it were.
It's perfect.
Anyway, it's been a few days.
You remember us, right?
We came in with those delicious mushrooms.
Who brought you that man that was missing like yesterday?
Remember us?
Rootmore, we've known each other a long time.
Of course I remember you.
Why, just last summer you were here.
Don't tell me you forgot again.
Rootmore.
What is happening?
I'm messing with you, Rootmore.
Yes, I remember you.
Oh!
But, Game Master, I'm forcing a backstory on you.
I'm saying something out loud right now
that I thought for a long time,
but I've had an inkling that you might be a witch,
so that's pretty funny.
Rootmore, seriously.
You're good at pancakes
and scaring the shit out of people.
What can I say in these little hobbies we have?
The mushrooms we brought you to heal the twinkles.
Yes, the mushrooms.
Any results?
Well, they have been most useful
in determining cautions that can help various treatments
for symptoms, but for any,
you call them the twinkles?
That's what it's being called around town.
I've wondered where that came from.
No, I haven't found any cure.
Nay, we haven't even found necessarily a cause.
We're still having the same problem.
We're having the same issue as before,
people coming in with random symptoms,
and I treat them as I can,
but no, there's no underlying disease that we've uncovered.
I still don't know what I'm fighting in this battle.
I'm fighting just trying to stem the tide.
Who knows, perhaps it blows over.
Could just be an odd time of year.
Any new occurrences?
New symptoms?
Hard to say.
I've had everyone come in from a runny nose
to weeping sores, but who knows if they're related.
It seems almost like no one person shares
the symptoms with another,
or at least not in conjunction
with the other symptoms they face.
Runny nose and a fever here,
a sore body and a gunky eye over here.
Ew.
Do you, pardon, do you make deliveries
to any of the houses around town?
I've been asked to make a house call here or there,
but for the most part, no,
I tend to just stay around here.
Fresh ingredients and reach is almost always more important.
There are a few rare cases where I have to make a trip out,
someone on the outskirts of town
who can't make their way this way,
but no, those are few and far between.
Do you have any dealings?
We know the man in the tower.
We know him as a wizard.
Like, does everyone, like, is that a known thing?
I forgot, because he comes here.
We don't know that he's a wizard.
I want to ask him, or I want to ask her,
just assuming, what kind of medicine,
what kind of medicine he gets and what's it for.
Oh, if he comes by at all?
Or if that tower.
If, do you, do you make any deliveries to the tower,
or to, what's it called?
You mean out to Charvaros Vade?
Yes.
No, no.
He comes by maybe once a month.
Yes, I think once a month at most
to pick up odds and ends, various ingredients,
things for, I guess, his own research,
but no, I've never made any house calls.
Does he get a lot of stuff?
Do you know, is it just him?
Oh, it's always just him.
And as for the stuff he gets, it's various odds and ends.
He might need, you know, eyes of an oot
or legs of a frog or whatever alchemical components
I might have about, tongue of a cat.
Which, is he a pretty lonely guy?
There is sort of a sadness to him,
but he doesn't talk much, just comes in,
says what he needs, pays his coin and goes about his way.
A quiet man.
You got a head count for his tower?
That's a pretty big place for one man.
No, not personally.
Although, and she leans in, I've heard rumors
of a ghost that wanders his halls.
Truly, more ghosts in this town.
Ghosts of a little girl,
they say you can see her in the window.
Scare gets visibly scared.
Probably fully forgetting that,
yeah, there's a little girl there, he's just scared.
There's a little girl there, he's just scared.
She's not a ghost.
They say, once a month, when the moon is full and high
and the sky is lit at night,
and the fog rolls in from the water,
that it gathers around Shavros's fades tower,
and you can see her wandering through the windows,
her pale face gleaming in the moonlight.
Well, I mean, she was in the window earlier today
and it's a beautiful sunny day.
Right, they're just stories, of course.
We may have seen a ghost.
Monet will reconvene.
She wasn't a ghost, she picked me up
and she carried me downstairs.
Yeah, Monet has no reason to lie.
I don't know how to lie.
Monet's met this little girl, apparently very nice.
So, Shavros let you into his tower?
No, I snuck in.
We might have to keep this between us.
We might.
So, there is a little girl?
Yeah.
Nothing weird, everything's fine.
Well, that takes all the fun out of the story.
Well.
Well, keep telling the story, it's a fun story.
I think it's a pretty fun story still.
It gave you the heebie jeebies.
It seemed like a sweet little girl.
You all knew the truth and you played along.
It was very sweet of you.
I didn't play along.
I just don't like interrupting, it was a good story.
I've been honest with you in this entire time.
She seems visibly disappointed.
Oh, no, no, it's like Jurassic Park
where they say these things are raptors.
They're actually Deinonychus.
Raptors are like the size of a dog,
but still it's a good movie.
I have no idea what you just said.
I understand.
I heard the words, but none of them made any sense.
I just think that-
All you said was a Deinonychus,
it's like a bigger ass raptor.
Call back.
What a hilarious thing to say.
I mean, I don't think that this little girl's life
should just be made into some sort of exciting story.
She lives there and she doesn't get to leave and it's sad.
It's not a fun story, it's a sad story.
I think it is.
And I think it might have more to do with this town
than some ghost story.
It's not every day that you decide to wake up
and make your famous cinnamon pancakes,
get whipped into the same flurry and frenzy you always do
and then find help in the form of a miraculous,
fast-working short man.
Oh, thank you.
And then be chastised for your life choices
on how you tell stories to entertain others.
What a day.
You had me scared.
I am one to believe that there may still be a ghost.
That's true, there could be a ghost as well.
Did you see any ghosts?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, regardless.
Maybe.
Right, why are you still here?
These ingredients, do you have a log or something?
Well, of course.
I keep track of everything I sell.
Did any of them help?
Did you get results from your patients?
People, when they buy medicine from me,
don't usually come back to tell me how it worked,
unless it didn't work and then they'll ask for something else.
But no, it's like I've said,
there are symptoms of something, sure,
but not anything connected.
It couldn't be.
There's no disease I've ever heard of,
written or otherwise,
that inflicts so many different symptoms.
It's just impossible, improbable,
downright unlikely from a medical standpoint.
Things that cause things always cause the same things.
Maybe medical, but what about magical?
I'd be hard pressed to believe there's one curse,
one source of magic that inflicts
so many different symptoms.
That would have to be an incredible amount
of magical power to influence so many people
in so many different ways.
Somebody's experimenting on people with different shit.
That's my guess.
Have, has anyone knowingly or possibly died
from this disease?
I mean, possibly, sure.
People die here all the time
and sometimes from illness or symptoms,
but it's like I keep saying,
if none of the instances are connected,
then it's hard to say whether or not something was caused.
Just because a boy drowned, not that someone did,
but hypothetically, just because someone drowned,
doesn't mean that everybody else who died
had water forced down their lungs,
especially if there's no evidence of it.
How do we connect these things?
Only reason I ask is there is something else.
It's the CIA, it's MKUltra.
What did you say?
Now that you mentioned it,
there's a boy who's been talking to goats.
What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Not serious.
Such a good movie.
There have been undead, undead in the forest.
New undead.
That is unsettling.
I haven't been undead around here in decades.
I just, I don't know if it's connected in any way,
but that Wyvern we fought and Cobalts.
I mean, connected maybe, but from where I'm standing,
it doesn't seem like you could form a rational connection.
And that's why I'm going crazy.
Me too.
I think our time may be done here.
See you next week.
High five.
Over and over again.
Yeah, I mean, hell yeah.
I'd do that.
That's exciting.
I love that.
Thank you, Cody.
She lets you know on the way out.
If you do find some form of connection,
even an irrational one, let me know.
If these are due to some underlying cause
and not random instances of people getting sick
and there's something that I can do about it,
I would have you let me know.
And we will.
For sure.
I like this one.
She's nice.
Not like that other cleric.
What is it?
Farazma?
What the hell?
I don't remember.
Who?
What the fuck are you talking about?
The one in town.
Oh, the one at the temple to Iomide?
Iomide, thank you.
The one who gave you a sword before you did the job for her?
That wasn't me.
That was pretty nice.
Not from Mike's case.
The one who paid strangers to go
and take care of another stranger
that she'd only just met.
Sirthana.
Met her once.
She's off putting.
She met Barless once.
He asked her to say a prayer for him,
even though he believes in a arastle,
and she did anyway.
And then she felt guilty
because she wasn't a cleric of a arastle
and was like, please go check on him.
I haven't seen him.
And I said a prayer for him
and I would feel real shitty if something happened to him.
She's super nice.
Just Rootmore's thing.
Yeah.
He feels threatened by her.
He's rude.
I know.
That's why they call him that.
Rootmore.
He's just insecure.
Yeah.
Not like that town butcher.
He's always so sincere and considerate.
Fuck that guy.
And his meat, have you tasted his meat?
You know, the butcher's not even a cook.
It's not his job?
Doesn't even know how to cook.
It's pathetic.
Sounds like you got a leg up on him.
Do you know the town tailor doesn't even plumb his own pipes?
What a phony.
Oh God.
The innkeeper doesn't even sleep there.
Well, we-
You trust the beds
if they won't even sleep on them themselves.
Sorry.
Continue, Nathaniel.
No, I was,
cause it sounded like you were at a loss.
We need to go to the lumber camps.
Yes.
Yep, gonna go meet with Yarlvin.
Alrighty.
You head back outside.
Somehow it seems brighter than before.
Warmer for sure.
There's still a low gentle breeze,
although the day is now getting into the throng of its heat.
And you can feel the sun beating down on you
with so few clouds sparsely laid out on the sky.
But it is still, though hot, a beautiful day.
You make your way out of the northern gates,
passing by the rolling, waving hills of grass
before you make your way directly in front of the lumber camp.
You can hear now the grunts and cries of men hard at work.
You can almost smell the sweat beating down their brows
as they beat down the trees before them.
As you pull up to the front of the gates,
you can see a fresh troop of lumberjacks
hauling a large cart of logs back into the lumber camp.
Peering inside through the open gateway,
you can see Yarlvin in the middle
shouting directions to others as the logs are received,
stripped of their bark by a group of men with saws,
cut into smaller pieces,
and placed on machinery to be processed.
It's a lot of wood.
Now I'm having trouble remembering
why we had to come here in the first place.
Scurrup.
He's an ally.
We need to tell him that we're trying to take down the creeds.
Of course.
This could be beneficial for his faction.
Small guy, that alcohol hasn't gone all the way through yet.
It's okay, Scurrup.
Yeah, let's do this.
Won't I lead the way?
You're the most personal bull among us.
Charm him, boo him.
Yeah, so we go looking for this big boy.
And you can see him, he's right there in the middle of camp.
He kind of is almost spinning in place
like a traffic director,
telling everybody what to do
and making sure that work is going on
as smoothly as possible.
As he turns and sees you all approaching,
he raises a hand up to you to wave
and gives you a firm but knowing glance.
Just kind of like, hey, good to see you again.
We're here for you if you've got the time.
Oh, I've got the time.
What do you need?
We should probably go inside somewhere.
Good idea.
What's all this about?
Big moves.
Subterfuge.
You'll have to elaborate, friends.
I'm not privy to your plans.
There's a lot of ears here.
Is it okay if we move into a room?
Aye, I understand.
Follow me.
And he leads you towards where you can see an office,
stairs that lead up to a propped up cabin.
But before he goes in, he stops for a moment,
puts up a hand as if to tell you to halt,
and he moves over to the handle
of what you can see to be a very large whistle.
He goes ahead and pulls down on the whistle
and it lets out a loud shrill shriek
before he cups his two large meaty hands over his mouth
and yells out,
Early lunch!
Everybody's like, oh hell yeah, oh yeah.
Exactly.
Immediately all of the workers seem to be put at ease.
Many of them begin joking and laughing
as they shuffle away from their hard labors
and they move towards the edge of camp
to gather along the walls in the shade.
And that's a powerful man.
He walks up the stairs towards his cabin
and opens a larger door
a larger than normal door,
one that seems to have been built specifically
for a man of his stature.
And as he pulls the great door open,
it creaks heavily and he gestures after you.
Fantastic.
Bermo walks in and there's probably like
a little side table or something.
And he pulls out the Albrin's brandy.
This was the gift from him.
Oh, right.
The wolf head.
Yeah, the bottle of brandy, I forgot about that.
Surprised he didn't sell it.
Oh, it's a beautiful brandy.
I think it was like 15 gold worth of brandy
or something like that.
Jesus, really?
Yeah, good bottle, really good bottle.
Something like that.
Might have been more, I don't remember.
It wasn't on the loot table.
That's because it got put in Brutemore's pocket.
I didn't know how much it was.
Yeah, it was something.
He pulls out something else.
It might have been 12, but yeah, it was somewhere in there,
somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 to 15, I think.
He looking to buy a bottle of brandy?
They'll sell it back to you at a high price.
Making your way in, you can see that there is a,
like a grand bear pelt that covers much of the floor
in here.
At the far end is a great stone fireplace.
There is a large wooden desk off to the side
with a large furred chair.
He sits down in the furred chair, gesturing in front,
where you can see there are several chairs,
some of them off to the side against the wall
and some right in front.
He seems to motion for you to move them and gather round.
More slowly drags the chair.
There.
He swivels in his chair for a moment,
producing a small wash basin that he first pulls
a large like pitcher from and draws a bunch of water,
setting it off to the side.
And then after that's out of the way,
he dips his great meaty hands into it
and kind of rubs them around before splashing his own face.
Oh, great, hells, it's hot out today.
Um, what can I do for you, friends?
Oh, boy, I'm going to say a few words.
You can stop him when you want to,
but there's no easy way to do this.
Well, don't keep me in suspense.
OK, we're hard at work.
Let me ask you something, and I've asked you this before.
Your workers, are they happy?
Well, I don't rightly know how to answer that.
They've got good work.
They work hard, it's rewarding.
They're paid well.
Happy, maybe.
Oh boy, don't care anything about their home life,
that's for sure.
Why?
Curious how you feel about your work and your position here.
Well, it's hard work for certain.
True work, a man's work.
But it's work that needs doing,
and it's something that we're good at.
And there, true, are people who can't handle it.
The ones that go axe crazy, for sure.
But for the most part, by and large, it's a lumber town.
What else are big, strong men to do?
I'm going to cut to the chase,
because we're working on something,
and it means nothing if you're not on our side.
We're attempting to overthrow the Creeds.
Take them out.
Ground up.
He lets out a long breath of air,
kind of whistles between his teeth for a moment, almost.
And you can see his eyebrows are raised.
That's a load to draw on.
We've got brass nose.
We've got the sheriff.
Damn sure we can get the apothecary.
Maybe a smooth talk.
The temple of Hylmide.
We can't do this without you.
This for the town, it's people.
Trade?
Longevity?
It's people are sick and the Creeds don't show themselves.
He holds up a hand to pause you for a moment.
Friend, I'll have you again, there's a great deal of people
under my employ right now who work for me
that are not from here.
They're not Falcons hollow pin.
They're only here for the labor.
If the Creeds are gone, where will they go?
The wood chopping will continue.
And who will pay?
Let me be frank, we work for the lumber consortium directly.
Each and every one of us is company men.
Now, whether or not some of us agree with their terms
or how we're treated, they hold our jobs.
What I'm hoping for is perhaps a council with you
heading the consortium, brass nose,
manning the walls, protecting the people.
Because we know they're a strange sort,
but they're fighting for whoever's paying.
Currently, that's the Creeds
and the Creeds could turn them on us, our people.
No problem.
But I've had my talks with him, he's in.
Let me be clear.
The Creeds own the land.
They own the rights.
They sell the rights to-
Hearing the owning of the land, this is very important.
He see, he-
Visibly disturbed by that statement.
Like shivers up and down his spine.
He looks very uncomfortable.
The Creeds own the land.
They sell the rights to chop the land to the consortium.
The consortium pays us.
There can be no chopping unless someone owns the land
to chop from and gives us permission.
Not just us permission,
if they give the land to the consortium.
Without all that, we have nothing.
And I can't look any one of my men in the face,
knowing they've worked towards something
that could make them go mad from the sheer effort
and tell them that they don't even have that anymore.
That nothing that they've worked for,
suffered for or strive for means anything anymore.
Oh, I agree, I agree.
There's gotta be a way.
Just a change of management.
Let's say the Creeds, for some reason, just disappear.
All their money and stuff is still there.
But the problem is, is that Creed is the gavel.
He kind of sees that you might not know
what he's talking about.
No, I don't.
I mean, the people respect the sheriff.
He was elected.
Aye, respect has nothing to do with it.
I'll do respect, but Creed is the gavel.
He was appointed by the consortium
because he owns the land.
He essentially is a representation of the consortium.
If there is no gavel, there's no land.
If there's no land, the consortium leaves.
No consortium, no jobs, no coin.
The town dries up.
I don't know if you know this, but as a lumber town,
all we're good for is our lumber.
You need to plant more trees.
There's also no guarantee if you remove Creed
that they won't appoint someone else as gavel.
But who?
I just feel like it's worth it.
The sheriff.
But what loyalty has the sheriff to the consortium?
What loyalty do your people have to you?
The fact that I'm their boss and that they have a job.
You wouldn't see yourself as that man.
As what man?
As a gavel?
Yeah.
There's no guarantee that the consortium
would even appoint me, even if I wanted the responsibility.
Those are actually the best leaders,
the ones that don't want it.
I'm grateful for what you did.
You made the woods a wee bit safer for my boys.
And that's important to me.
That means something.
But you have to understand the position I'm in.
You're talking about killing the man
who's the only link between my boss and me.
And while I don't give two shits about the Creeds
or whatever the fuck they want to get up to,
it's the only thing that has us employed.
You would have to assure a way
that keeps us doing what we do for coin.
And then maybe, sure, why not?
Creeds be damned.
But you need to make sure that whoever takes that spot,
whoever becomes gavel next,
you need to ensure that whoever has it won't be worse.
Otherwise, nothing changes.
And what did you do it all for?
Will you help us put that said person in power?
I don't have the power to choose.
That's the consortium that chooses.
But we do have the power to shake things up.
They would be likely to give the gavel
to whoever owned the land.
If you could somehow deed the title to the land
to someone else, then sure.
It stands to reason whoever owned the title to the land
would then become the next gavel.
But aside from that, just killing the Creeds
would then move the power to whoever he had willed it to.
I understand what you're trying to do.
I do, and I know that it's coming from a good place,
just based on what you did for us.
But you have to understand that you are risking an awful lot
for my men and for me.
And so no, I can't give you any certainty that we can be there.
This is a situation where my men have families, children,
wives, that they provide for,
that they are willing to drive themselves
to the brink of bodily and mental destruction for.
And so it would have to be a goddamn good plan.
I agree.
There's just gotta be a better way.
Because I see, I see this town, I love this town.
It's a great town, but it is going down.
We all see that.
We just need leaders who care.
Hey guys, we could all just skip town.
Fuck.
Yeah, I'm kind of just looking at this point right now,
like, why are we even trying to save this town?
I just hate to see it go down like this.
Yeah, politics are hard.
There's still more to see.
My brain, I'm not following any of this politics stuff,
and I'm just like, look, they cut down the trees,
that's kind of sad.
Why are we saving them?
Why are we saving this town?
I need a place to sell goods.
Are we saving this town?
We're doing our best.
I mean, we know what it takes to get the alliance of.
Do we know what it takes to get the alliance?
He literally just said it, pass over the deed.
No, we need, we just need a person who's willing.
Pass over the deed so that this lumber town
becomes a lumber town.
A better managed.
It's already a lumber town.
A better managed lumber town.
Not managed by a rich family
who was just passed a piece of paper.
Are we making this town worse?
Maybe.
It seems like they're doing kind of fine.
Like, yeah, they had two people,
or three people that were kidnapped.
We brought them back.
But like, they're kind of doing fine, kind of, you know?
They got, yeah, jobs suck.
Government sucks.
That's kind of normal.
What if you had a chance to actually overthrow it?
I think I would take it.
Yeah, but is that just gonna make
the entire town suffer more?
This is less, Monet would not be able,
Monet is, if I'm fucking lost on this,
Monet has no fucking clue what's going on at all.
So it's just like, this is me just being like,
what are we doing?
We can break it down if it's confusing.
I'm so confused.
Because it is a little confusing.
Essentially, this town is a lumber town, yeah?
Yes.
It exists because it has a resource to exploit,
which is the lumber.
So somebody has to own that land.
Yes.
Otherwise it can't be mine.
So the creeds own the land.
Owns that, yep.
Yep.
So the creeds have land,
but then you need a way to turn trees into money.
So then it goes to the consortium.
So the consortium says, hey, tell you what,
you give us the right to log your land
and we will make you a gavel,
which essentially makes you a company backed ruler
of this area.
I'm a little lost again.
Why?
I don't know.
It's just...
It's like, power comes from money, yes?
Yes, I'm just...
I'm trying to make this easier.
It's like they're putting stocks into the town, kinda.
Pretty much, because if you were the owner of the town,
who gives a shit?
Why do you have power?
Because people listen to you?
Why do they listen to you?
Because you pay them.
So the creeds are powerful because they own the land.
The land is worth money.
The consortium pays money.
So the company is then backing them by saying,
we're gonna pay you for your logs,
but also we're gonna make you a gavel.
You being a gavel means that now
you are a part of the consortium.
And if anybody tries to fuck with your authority,
you're fucking with the consortium
and we will protect you.
So the main issue here is that removing the creeds
doesn't just magically fix anything, right?
Yeah.
Because then who owns the land?
Well, whoever the creeds willed it to when they die.
I'd be so curious to find out who that is.
So in order for you to actually be able to choose
somebody to take over,
you would have to get a hold of the creed's will
and change it and then have that authenticated
before they died.
I think where I'm struggling is I'm trying to remember
why we're getting rid of the creeds.
Yeah, that's a good question.
That's where I'm getting lost because it doesn't,
it really doesn't seem like this town is like that,
like poor off right now.
Seems like they're fine.
And that's like the thing that I'm saying.
It's like they have jobs and they suck, sure,
but jobs usually suck and they have government
and government sucks, government usually sucks.
They have a sheriff that cares about them.
Like I don't really.
They got a big man that goes around
and punches people money out of their pockets.
They steal people from their beds.
Yes, but like.
They're shot while they're working
instead of being helped.
Yeah, it's not good.
It's not, yeah, there is reason to hate them.
More than enough reason.
It's very unjust.
And that's at least where Scarab's coming from.
He was literally gonna, he was put to a stake.
Yeah, so he has more than enough.
For sure, and that's more.
But it doesn't make it like.
Hold on.
Doable.
That's more Payday bad person.
Like yes, the Creed's are like ignoring it,
but Payday is the asshole.
Payday is the one that's doing bad shit.
Payday is the.
He's the mouth or the hand.
He's the hand.
Yeah, but he's also the one that's doing it.
And I'm not saying that the Creed's aren't bad for not,
for like allowing that to be that way
or even asking it for that to be that way.
But getting rid of the Creed's doesn't get rid of Payday.
Getting rid of Payday gets rid of Payday.
Oh yeah, I figured it was a whole package.
Yeah, like a group deal.
I'm not even necessarily.
It's crazy, I don't even know what the Creed's look like.
It's cause they're hags.
They can't come outside.
People freak out.
I think there's so much more to this.
I think my holdup is getting rid of this greater evil
actually going to help the town.
Or is it just going to destroy the town?
Maybe that's what people need.
For the town to be destroyed?
Yeah, there are better places than this.
They think this is the best,
but if they all work together,
travel somewhere new, start somewhere new.
I don't know, that is a lot to ask.
Yeah, it is.
Cause it's hard enough in a modern day
like when the whole Ria Do So fire happened recently
and a bunch of those people don't even know
if they have homes anymore.
Let alone in an era where you don't have cars
and moving vans and whatever.
Yeah, cause then, I don't know,
that's just where I'm getting hung up.
It's like that doesn't feel like being a hero
that feels like being a villain destroying a town.
So I don't know, that's just where I'm lost on what to do.
I trust.
Definitely lost on what to do.
We're either going in the wrong direction
or we haven't talked to the right person yet.
I get two points of interest.
That one of them, the cemetery,
and the other one, that tower.
We could find something interesting with Varin.
And the tower has more to be seen.
But outside of that, this is definitely defeating.
Okay, so just from what I've seen, paying attention,
things that have stuck out to you guys,
you still got stuff going on with the Kobolds
cause the Kobold King's still around
and he's got some weird mojo going on
where he can affect your dreams.
You've got the creeds and their mistreatment of the people
followed by slash the consortium suppression
through the creeds because obviously
they're not doing anything about it either.
You have this strange Varin fellow that you just met.
You've got Sharvarosvade's tower as a strange place
that's kind of cropped up in your point of interest.
So those are like four points to pursue.
You've got this other thing,
this strange happenings in the town,
what you guys have called the twinkles popping up.
There's something causing that.
Not sure what.
I still have no idea, haven't had really any idea
from the very beginning.
You've also got this weird issue of like
undead have been cropping up.
And from what you got from Laurel,
she said that there have been undead here in decades.
So that would be especially strange for this undead Wyvern
and undead Kobold to be about in the dark moon in the Vale.
I feel like a lot of this stuff will be answered
like almost all at once.
It's like boom, boom, boom.
This is why that, this is why that, this is why that.
Wizard has answers and I'm so curious about the cemetery.
Just like straight up.
Be curious if anything starts digging its way out
when we show up.
Let's go to one of those two.
Cemetery or wizard?
Trying to remember the reason for leaving the tower was like.
I can't get back in right now.
I can't turn into a cat again.
Unless we go to sleep.
Okay, cemetery then.
I'm down.
Head to the cemetery, okay.
Bye.
You have to take us there.
No, just, you're all been, just get up and walk out.
Jesus.
Bye.
Thanks, you're all been.
Oh yeah, this useless guy.
Thank you for your time.
It better be a time good plan.
Stand up, turns, walks away.
I'm so lost right now.
I don't even know what to tell that man.
I didn't even say a single word to him
because I'm just trying to follow.
I feel like there was something else to say to him.
Because I feel like when we were ending that last one
that I didn't even have anything to say to him.
That there was something else going on.
The only thing I got from it was if we fuck it up,
he's a potential enemy.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
There's a lot of people counting on him.
A lot of people with families that are counting on him.
It's, yeah, he doesn't really give you
one way or the other.
He just says don't fuck it up, basically.
If you're going to do it, you better get it right.
Because, yeah, sometimes they do.
Yeah, because there's a lot of people riding on this place
for being what it is.
But.
So he's good as long as somebody's in power
that can do the job.
Right, as long as everybody else is still getting paid
to do what they're supposed to do,
then families are getting supported
and he's okay with that.
He doesn't give a damn about the creeds specifically.
No allegiance there.
And as far as the consortium goes, it's their job.
So they're just doing what they're paid to do.
But I mean, he raises a good point too.
There are people going ax crazy, you know,
and that happens periodically.
It's not a new thing.
Just some people lose their shit
from the grueling nature of the work.
And, you know, he just says, if you ruin all of that,
then what have my men suffered for,
the ones that made it this far without going crazy?
Like for the meager coin they bring home,
what was it all for?
See, dammit, there's no way to live.
For the kindness you did me,
for the kindness you did all of us,
I won't breathe a word of this to anyone.
Just promise me, whatever you do, all of you,
make sure you're thinking of them and their families,
their wives and their children when you do what you do.
I want this place to be standing when I come back.
Just to reassure you, nothing has been put in motion.
Just a thought.
Just words, ha ha.
Nothing serious, seriously.
We're just joking around.
He's still drunk.
No, just a little worried.
Has anyone attacked your workers after we
dispatched the big gray,
what are these things called, wargs?
No, nothing of the sort.
It's been almost back to normal.
Oh, good, good, good.
Have you heard anything or seen anything of undead?
No, no, certainly not.
No undead, no undead.
No, certainly not, no undead.
I heard one of my boys mention something flying through the air
the other night, but nothing that landed here.
We may have taken care of that one.
That was nice of you.
Snip it in the bud, they say.
I hate to send your men out into the...
Two things, number one, please, please replant trees.
Please replant the trees.
You will run out of wood, we will all run out of wood.
It is necessary.
Number two, there may be undead in the woods.
Just throwing it out there.
I don't know if you need protection, not us, your own people.
Just be careful.
The correction, there are undead in the woods.
I mean, we killed all the ones we've seen, but as the dead do, they come back.
There have been undead in the woods.
Yes, once again, his eyebrows raise.
You guys are dropping a lot on this guy.
Sorry about that, we're going to go to the cemetery.
That is troubling news, if true.
I'll take that into consideration.
I'll rearrange where we were going to log.
I'll keep the men more towards the outskirts, closer to town.
Thank you for the tip.
Oh, and if something happens to your men,
you should start writing it down.
Workman's comp, send it to the boss.
Maybe someone else will take care of this business.
Sue them for everything they're worth.
That's actually kind of a plan.
We're going to go somewhere else.
Thank you for your time.
You've given me a lot to think about, friends.
I hope next time we speak, it will be less serious.
I wish you well.
You as well, you as well.
I definitely hope so too.
Now, and he stands up, I've got a bunch of lazy men
who've had their lunch for far too long.
Stay cool out there, boys.
Right, you too.
Don't yell too loud, it scares me.
If my friend's away.
As you guys are walking out of camp,
you hear the whistle go again,
and you can hear y'all been yelling.
Work to work, you lazy sobs.
Yeah.
And then a little tune to it.
Then y'all start singing.
Hi-ho, hi-ho.
Rude boy, get back in.
You can't say that.
Rude, what a dopey depiction of dwarves.
By this point in the day, heading back,
it's not dark, but you're getting towards
the later part of afternoon,
probably around the four or five o'clock,
sun's starting to get low, but not low yet.
And once again, you're back in Falcon's Hollow,
make your way through the gates,
the guards let you through, no trouble or hassle.
And you're walking down the dirt road,
and you wanted to go, where to?
Cemetery.
The cemetery.
Scarab, you remember that.
Oldest road, John.
Is on the northwestern part of town,
outside the town gates.
Right past Creed Manor.
Right on past.
Well, no, we've definitely seen it
by going to the casino.
The cemetery?
The Creed Manor.
Oh, yeah.
You can see it from a distance,
although it is to be noted that it's not on this map,
but the manor itself now has a wall erected around it.
Yeah, it even says on the map,
to cemetery with a big arrow.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, as you make your way
towards the northwest part of town,
you immediately can see some kind of commotion going on.
You can see Varren.
He is kind of mad scrambling around
to whoever is walking by and shouting at them,
shouting in their faces.
He looks disheveled, even more so than normal.
Disheveled?
Kind of a panic in his eyes.
Disheveled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go.
See what the hell's going on.
Yeah, I want to listen for what Varren's saying.
Varren's shouting at people?
Mm-hmm.
A lot of people are kind of like,
shying away from him or trying to cover their faces
and walk around him.
It seems like they're kind of dismissing
more of his mad ramblings,
but he seems to be displaying real panic.
And as you walk in that direction,
he kind of sees you and recognizes you
from the pancake line earlier that day,
and he rushes right towards you.
And he is...
Don't get startled, you guys.
Don't startle him.
Define let's.
Rootmaw!
He runs right up to you, Rootmaw specifically,
and he has like a wild frenzy about him,
and his like thin, nimbly fingers
grab at the like scruff of your collar,
and he like pulls you close,
pulling your face close to his.
Sausage man!
They're here!
Show me!
I'm intrigued.
He like wildly whips his head
between all of you looking at you,
and he says,
The dead, crawling from the ground,
not so much as a how do you do,
just walk around,
get up from where they buried.
Quickly, quickly, let's go!
Show us!
And that's all the time we have for today.
Yeah!
Yes!
Good!
Oh my God.
It doesn't answer anything,
but it did something I thought might have happened.
Damn.
You actually said it earlier.
I'm just curious,
Twinkles is just like,
just a very little start,
and if that whole cemetery is gonna start popping up,
who knows?
Who knows?
Not me!
Oh jeez.
Don't fall.
Oh my God.
It just went to the next setting.
Laying too far back in that chair.
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We love these things.
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Oh, come here you.
Big comments.
Crown of the Cobalt King, episode seven.
That's the one where we lost our chicken boy.
We got a comment from Maria.
They wrote, just a bunch of sad faces and crying emojis.
Yeah, there was a cry.
A cry happened.
There was a cry.
There was a big sad face emoji,
crying face emoji kind of episode.
Thank you, Maria.
Wow, Maria hitting it with the hard truths.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, we all felt it at the table.
Fun little thing about that episode is I had to,
that was originally gonna be episode eight,
but we were all kind of fucked up.
We only recorded for about 25 minutes
and we couldn't go on.
So I just connected episode seven and that episode.
That's why it's kind of long.
Fun fact, that was also the episode where
I'm odd couldn't remember Jacques name.
It was pretty good.
Hey, that's in character.
Definitely did.
Yeah, definitely just him.
But that's last words.
Word, word, word.
Ain't that right, Edward?
Hey, Jack.
Jack, run.
I mean, it worked out because I couldn't remember
corncob's,
cob corn's name.
Yeah, we were doing it too.
I've just given him a big go.
He's not the only one.
I said his name wrong too.
It's my own character.
But yeah.
Yeah, that episode was,
I mean, I love it.
It's one of my favorite episodes,
but obviously it was rough and it sucked,
but that's just how it goes.
Yeah.
They set up valuable opportunities
for you to go back and get your vengeance.
Oh, and it felt so good.
Oh my God.
And you had me big laughing the next episode.
So it was a nice, nice balancing.
Yeah, if that didn't happen,
we wouldn't have the wonder that is Rootmore.
Truly the wonder.
The wonder.
I love Rootmore, but.
I do too, he's so good.
What could Colonel have turned into in these episodes?
What could he have been?
I know.
A big, strong cock.
Sturdy, turgid, unyielding.
Unyielding.
All words to describe cob corn.
Yeah, don't forget to check out our YouTube stuff.
We have some video games that Cody and I have been playing.
We've been playing, what is my favorite game called?
Project Zomboid.
It's been so fun.
Thank you guys for watching that,
giving it views and stuff in the comments.
Yeah, it's just a bunch of extra free stuff
for you guys to go watch and like and comment
and all that stuff is free and it looks really good for us
and feels good.
And Emod takes what little free time he has left
to put it all together and edit it for you guys
who enjoy just us being more goofy in more places.
So your feedback on it means a lot.
And if you're ambitious enough,
then maybe you can be the first viewer before me.
I'd like to see you try.
Oh, and speaking of.
I thought Alicia was on it.
I wanna say, because I've been meaning to say this,
speaking of Emod, go check out his YouTube channel,
Bamboo Trauma, to go see just some more extra Emod
if he needs some more extra Emod.
Oh, thank you.
Or to get cute cat shots.
Love the kitty.
Whenever you guys hear me on the podcast,
just say, stop it, cut it out.
And there's no context.
I'm talking to the cat.
But yeah, thank you guys for listening
and thank you for being a traveler on the Cursed Caravan.
Bye-bye.
See you later.
You can't be up here.
Get off.
But there's another mouse pad there.
She's supposed to be there.
Pulls out fresh shit.
Just move that mouse pad.
Huh?
Just move that mouse pad.
Put that mouse pad where you want her.
That's where I put drinks that I think I'm gonna spill.
So I don't wanna put them there on the table
and ruin my life.
Oh, might spill that.
Over here.
Like my very tall, skinny water bottles.
Yeah, no, it makes sense.
This is funny to hear out loud.
Whatever.