Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, our heroes recovered from a brutal siege by the
True Scales.
They decided to head back to Falcon's Hollow, safely escorting the missing Hunter and Edgren,
along with two Kobold prisoners.
Our group immediately arrived at the Sheriff's office and ran into the imposing Payday who
was taunting Sheriff Belson.
Even though having Edgren as a witness and the Kobold prisoners as evidence, it was not
enough for Payday, who still wants to see the butcher return.
Realizing that they can't win with Payday, the heroes started making a plan with Sheriff
Belson to infiltrate the Creed Manor.
After guiding the Hunter to the town cleric, the party checked in to the sitting duck for
the night.
Their story continues now.
You return to the sitting duck, hoping to get a full night's rest without the threat
of Kobolds ever on your tail.
The night passes without a vent.
No screaming villagers, no kick down doors, no midnight trial.
Instead, you awake as the first rays of the sun dimming throughout the day.
You awake to what looks like the rays of morning, only to realize that the sun is just now beginning
to set.
What are each of you doing?
Getting all my resolve and stamina back.
And uh, Rutemore's downstairs making sausage.
Roll a crafting check.
Eight.
Out of practice.
Sorry dear Toreg.
I've done my best.
Cast it into the fire!
They're not unsalvageable, but they are very unevenly cooked.
Some sides of them are crispier, the other sides a little softer than you would like.
But a good sausage is a good sausage, and you won't let it go to waste.
Just covered it in bread with a little sauce.
Nobody will notice.
Oh this is terrible.
Anything else you guys need to do in town?
Nobody has a bunch of crap they need to sell.
Oh, that flying talon, are you gonna keep it or sell it?
Goes for six gold pieces.
It's a plus one though, it's a lot more than that.
That'd be half the rune cost as well, which is 30 I think is the rune cost.
35.
Yeah, so that's another 17 on top.
Or you could pay to have the rune transferred if you want to put it into something else.
Um, anybody got anything?
Nope, not really, I mean I got...
Rutemore has a dagger, I don't know if it's worth putting it on a dagger though.
You gonna take the rune-grows axe with you in case you break one of your weapons again?
I thought about it but I'm full with my bulk.
I'm carrying too much shit.
Do we have anywhere we can leave items?
Yeah, you can store them in your room.
Yeah Rutemore has a hunter's axe and his own axe, not the hunter's axe, the sheriff's axe
and his own axe stored in his room.
Yeah, if so that's all I really need to do.
Just drop some stuff off.
I'll hold on to the talon because I'd rather have that plus one at the ready.
I was holding leather, I don't know where I got that from but it was one bulk.
Just delete, I don't know.
Know what Rutemore is into.
I like spandex better.
I put it on my grill, somebody help me get these on.
You can grease up.
Yes, it's hot out.
Okay, by the time you're able to reach the ruins, the last bit of light is beginning
to fade.
You can hear the insects of the wilds beginning to pick up as night time descends upon you.
What do you guys want to do?
You are outside the ruins.
Go back to the well?
There's that fog wall.
Oh yes, if we're gonna go in there we might as well go now, full strength.
You walk back through the cathedral and descend the steps back into the ruins beneath.
It's eerily quiet and as you move north through the hall, you stand next to the headless corpse
next to the dead rats, none of which have been cleared.
And ahead of you to the north you can see that dense wall of what looks to be fog gently
spilling into the hallway.
Can I percept if it's also poisonous fog?
Sure.
What kind?
Regular perception?
Yeah, give me a regular to start.
For the listener, we spoke offline and decided not to bring Edgerton with us.
No we didn't, I just thought of that right now.
It was in the recording.
Yeah, it was in the recording.
Thank you Mr. Scarab.
That we decided not to bring him?
Yeah.
Just wanted him to stay in town.
We wanted him to stay in town, okay.
Yeah.
No, I was thinking because you kept asking us, is there anything else you guys want to
do before we leave?
Oh no, it wasn't me trying to trick, I just didn't want to go, oh so then you do da da
da and then you do da da and then you go oh I wanted to do the thing and then just rewind.
Gotcha.
So, that was a parental are you sure?
It is a 27 on the fog.
Do one of those science class wafting.
Gently waft it towards you.
You detect no odor, your eyes do not seem to burn nor does your skin seem to be irritated.
One thing you do note is that the air coming from that direction seems unusually warm.
Steam perhaps?
Maybe steam.
I wish I had a match.
I have a candle and I also have flint and steel.
I could light my candle and throw it in there.
That's kind of what I'm thinking.
I don't know if you've ever blown up but it'd be good to find out.
If I fire my gun in there and there's gas we're all doomed.
Okay, everybody step back.
That's a good idea.
I'm gonna move over here to the right.
If someone here will take her flint and steel that she does have and her candle that she
does also have.
Very prepared woman.
Hell yeah.
Light her candle and throw it into the steam.
Give me an athletics check to see if you can make that grow.
Okay.
Throwing it at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 feet.
It's quite far.
That is a 29.
Wow.
Candle soars through the air, disappears behind the veil of fog or steam and you hear a soft
platter as it hits the floor and nothing happens.
Okay.
It did go into the steam.
Yes.
We might be all right.
Yeah.
Scarab, that trick you did, was it for traps?
Trick.
Oh?
Oh no, it's to see if this stuff was gonna kill us.
Oh, sorry.
No, I said check, not trick.
I'm sorry.
You should enunciate.
It's hard to do that with sausage in my mouth.
Try again.
Check.
We'll work on it.
I'll do a check to see if there are any traps.
No, I got you.
Scarab is going to drink his eagle eye elixir.
Let's see.
After you drink this elixir, you notice subtle visual details.
For the next hour, you gain an item bonus to perception checks.
That is...
Jasper.
Meow.
Guest appearance.
You gain an item bonus to perception checks that is greater when attempting to find secret
doors and traps.
The bonus is plus two or plus three to find secret doors and traps.
Okay.
So you can give me plus two or plus three, depending on if you want me to be upset about
this or not, I guess.
It doesn't give any reason to choose two or three.
But yeah, he wants to drink that, so for the next hour, higher chance to find traps, and
he would like to begin doing so.
Okay.
So are you going to move up?
Yeah.
First thing you notice is you step closer to the steam.
You are picking up a subtle odor, something that smells like stone and maybe a twinge
of sulfur.
Good thing there's no such thing as demons, right?
Let's go in.
Yes.
24, looking for traps.
Eww.
Demons aren't real.
Don't be silly.
Natural 20 for a 30.
Checking for traps.
This guy, are demons real?
You don't see any traps, but as your eyes fixate into that room looking for what might lurk
beyond, you can't help but notice something large in the center of the room obscured by
this mist or fog.
There seems to be some kind of tall silhouette with a wide base.
Audible gulp.
There's something big in there.
Very big.
Also, I just want all of y'all to know the reason why we're being so, I guess, we're
being so careful with this door is, I think it was Emon a while ago labeled this door
Dark Souls Boss because it's like a fog door.
Was it even a door?
No.
Open room.
Yeah.
But it has said Dark Souls Boss for a while.
Yeah.
So it's just been sitting there on the D20.
We've just been avoiding it.
On the D20 map with Dark Souls Boss written there.
And it's just.
Because it has two A's.
What do you keep saying it like that?
Dark.
Well, what do you do?
After you, Rupemore.
All right.
Should I say hello?
Yeah, I'm just going to try talking to it.
Rupemore, that reminds me.
Speaking of things that are on your tokens.
Oh, the rat stain.
You don't feel so good today.
Perfect.
There's always something.
You're, uh.
You feel like you might be running a small fever.
Oh, nothing really.
That's fine.
All right.
Moving on.
All right.
Moving on.
What are you talking to yourself, Rupemore?
Get in there.
I need a fortitude save or something.
I'm fine.
I just want to say this before we run in there.
Channel elements, earth armor channel elements.
OK.
You do need to add second one to yourself.
Oh, but oof.
Is this the kind of sick that won't go away?
Maybe you should have talked to that one lady about how you were sick.
Maybe it was the weird saucy.
Maybe.
I swear, I felt fine last night.
I don't know what it is.
It smells like stone and sulfur.
I would like to retch.
Is this the kind I can retch with or something super special?
Go ahead.
Let me see if you can try to throw it to make yourself feel better.
Fortitude.
I love the image of this, by the way.
Rupemore, you go ahead.
It takes two steps forward to go, oh, my head.
Oh.
Stage fright, buddy.
This is nervous.
18.
You retch.
Oh.
You don't feel any better.
Perfect.
Gross.
Are you OK?
Just give me one second.
I'm going to retch really quick again.
You retch again?
Yes.
OK.
We're all a little better than a nine.
Here goes breakfast.
Natural 20.
You, deciding that that was not enough, jammed two of your dwarven fingers down your throat,
and you spew a vomitous flow onto the floor, splashing around your boots.
Proud of the volume you were able to produce on your second go, you wipe your mouth, but
you realize, I don't think this is going to make my head feel any better.
Oh, my God.
With a natural 20.
You're still second one.
Shit.
Well, there goes breakfast for no reason.
OK.
I guess I'm ready.
Hey, watch out for this.
I threw up a little bit on the floor.
I generally keep to my own business, but are you all right, man?
No.
Oh.
Did you just throw up?
No.
Oh, good.
I don't think it's that, but you never know.
Well, yes.
Hello?
Tomorrow we'll walk into the steam.
You'll stick his hand in it first, make sure it's not going to burn his skin.
Wearing armor, right?
Do you have an armored glove?
Yes.
OK.
Put your armored hand into the steam and wave it around a little bit.
Waffed it in my face.
Nothing happens.
As you waft it towards your face, you can feel the warm, soothing sensation of steam
embracing your face.
You too now pick up on the subtle scent of stone and sulfur, but beyond that, your pores
feel refreshed.
Smells like eggs.
Step into the room.
Rootmore, maybe you should call out to the missing person.
Butcher!
Are you butchering in here?
Butcher!
Sometimes I feel like you're trying to get me killed, Scurrup.
No, you just...
Oh, what's that?
Oh, what's that in there?
As you step forth, you get a better view of the room in front of you, though much of the
room remains obscured.
In front of you, taking a rather large section of the center of this small chamber, you see
some sort of fountain.
Interesting.
Monet, would she be able to do a seek to see if there's anyone in here lurking in the...
Sure.
I think I'll join you on that.
That's a good idea.
I'd also like to keep checking for traps, however so often you would like me to.
Seeking with a 22?
It's just a flat check, isn't it?
Perception.
Seek is a perception check.
Monet gets a plus one.
So that is an 11.
Hell yeah.
As the uneasy feeling washes over you that there might be something else here, you begin
to look in anticipation of something hiding in the steam.
You can see the fountain more clearly now.
Its large shallow basin has the center...
Sorry, I'm reviewing it.
Just reveal the room here.
Its large shallow basin...
Basin?
Large basin?
Its large shallow basin is punctuated in its center by an obelisk, depicting four dwarves
crouching back to back, each with a large pot held high above their shoulders.
From each pot pours a water-looking liquid, and you can see that the steam entering the
room is pouring forth from the basin of this fountain.
As you look at the fountain root more, you notice something slither in the water.
Interesting.
I'd like to do a medical check to see why I'm sickened.
Sure, go for it.
Just kidding.
We'll do that later.
Yeah, something's in this water basin.
I'd like to roll perception recall knowledge maybe.
What did I see in this water?
Scare bags away.
You saw nothing.
Scarp, where are you going?
I will say, because you did a seek action, there's something you can see in the fountain.
Two somethings.
Oh.
But you only know that there is something there.
You can't quite see what it is, and so it would be hard for you to roll a recall knowledge
as a result.
Got you.
Anything laying around on the ground so I could throw it there?
You see a candle.
Oh, yours is a candle.
No, that's mine.
Oh, okay.
Here you go, Wynnie.
Thank you.
Can I perhaps check this room for traps before we do any basin type thing?
Sure, give it a go.
Twenty plus two or three.
Nice, dealer's choice.
I choose two.
The DC was 23.
Oh, no.
You don't see anything else really of interest in this room.
Aside from on the back wall, you denote a tall metallic double door.
Okay.
It goes further in.
I wonder if we should even disturb what's in these waters.
Rudemore, do you know what this room is for?
Probably for Droskar stuff.
Very good.
Thank you.
Of course.
Rudemore the investigator.
I could try rolling a... would it be crafting to see if it's...
Scare would like to check as well, see if he can cross reference with Dwarven things he's seen before.
Sure, go ahead and roll me a stealth check, everybody.
Oh.
We'll see how noisy you'll be in here.
It's a 20 for Scare.
Oh my god.
Um, that is a six for Monet.
Nine.
Okay, and what did you want to know about the fountain?
Oh, if it's forge related.
Tricky got a 25.
Tricky, what is this?
Is it called Morge?
This is stealth.
I will say just gazing upon it from its design, although it seems very pretty in the arrangement of the crouching dwarves.
It doesn't seem forge related.
It seems to be just carved of stone.
Maybe it's a bath house or a steam room.
But as you inspect, the things that you saw slithering begin to move.
You hear a reptilian hiss as two creatures poke their head up from the water and begin to lunge.
Roll for initiative.
Here we go.
Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?
I have to roll my own initiative sitting here just waiting.
So lizard.
Yeah, two reptilian looking things.
Are they electric?
Looks like sparkies.
Probably nothing good.
All right. What did you get, Scarab?
30.
Wow.
Very nice. Monet.
12.
Very nice.
Rootmore.
13.
Better than Monet.
Scarab, just in time, as you see something stir within the water, two reptilian creatures lunge forth, one each at Rootmore and at Monet.
You're first.
First things first, going to take my... Yeah, I probably, from where I'm at, I couldn't squeeze past out back into the hallway, could I?
Probably not. Not mounted.
Yeah, so Scarab's going to take... You know what? How do we feel about my ten paces while being mounted?
I think it's probably fine.
Let me just move five feet back.
Weapon-ready.
Loaded.
Scarab's going to fire at the one closest to him that's between Rootmore and himself.
Are there penalties for firing in a melee?
Not for me.
Only if they have attack of opportunity.
Beautiful.
Fire!
Something else we should discuss.
What's the risk of gunpowder getting ruined in a misty room?
Well, if you want to be like that... I don't know. I mean, I think it's fine unless it's submerged, you know?
But then again, I've never dealt with actual, just plain old gunpowder before.
Yeah, I think you haven't been in here long enough for it to be a problem. It's just an interesting thought.
But if it were, I wouldn't be in this room.
Yeah, no, I feel you. I just mean down the line, you know? You end up in a misty rainforest at some point.
This is something to think about.
For sure.
Yeah, lay it on me.
Okay, that's going to be an 18 to hit.
18 hits.
Hell yeah. Where will my damage die?
Ugh, trash.
That's going to be four damage magical piercing.
Mm-hmm. Cool.
Then Scarab will cry out...
Oh, you know what? Um...
Second action reload.
And then Scarab will cry out...
Tricky, attack!
Tricky's going to attempt to gore that same fella that's right there.
Come on.
Oh! 25 to hit.
That's a hit.
10 damage, piercing.
Ooh.
And Tricky's going to swing one more time.
17 to hit.
That is a miss.
Off guard?
I'm sorry, it is off guard. That is a hit.
Beautiful.
Seven damage.
Wow. He's not looking good.
Beautiful. That is Scarab and Tricky's turn.
Was that your gun or Tricky?
That was Tricky.
Oh, okay.
Tricky's got 2d8. 2d8 plus four.
Neat. Neat, neat.
Big pig.
So, most gunpowder is kept in a leather pouch to keep it dry.
Mm-hmm.
So with reloading, it would still be dry.
Yeah, but what about in a paper cartridge, which is what you use in Pathfinder to shoot?
Sure, he's got the backup powder for a ramrod gun or something like that,
but in a paper cartridge, it's a bit of gunpowder, usually a ball of some kind,
and it's all wrapped up in a wad.
I don't know.
But thanks for Googling that.
He does also say that.
I'll just let you guys run the rest of the dungeon.
I'm not talking about for right now.
I was just the thought that crossed my mind.
It's also saying that long exposure can affect it, but it's still explosive.
But this is a world where we don't take poop or piss breaks.
Just remember that.
I'll remind you, sir, that you did take a poop and a piss break.
Mm-hmm.
And this one slept in a poop and a piss house.
Yes.
Called it the duck hole.
Please just don't take my gun away.
I'm not taking your gun away.
I'd be so fucking mad.
Well, Matt, what did you say about the flying talent?
Did you sell it or are you keeping it?
Just to have something that has the plus one on it for whenever we need it later.
Cool.
I deleted it off my sheet.
Yeah, yeah, I've got it.
OK.
The creatures sought to spring an ambush, but you were too quick.
And as you strike, letting off a shot and striking with Tricky,
they immediately become defensive in their shock.
And the one that you struck begins to spark.
Oh, the second one seeing this begins to spark as well.
And the first one will detonate in a discharge of electricity.
I need a reflex save from everyone.
Hmm.
Loud?
That was a little loud.
That was very loud.
God.
What'd you get?
Natural water.
No shit.
Fucking bullshit.
Oh, my God.
That's bad.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
I'm going to be paralyzed for entire combat.
What about you, Scarab?
Scarab got a 16.
Tricky got a 22.
Monet also got a 16.
OK.
Tricky will take half damage.
Scarab and Monet will take full damage.
And Rootmore, you will take double.
Oh, wow.
So the damage total on this is seven.
So 14 points of electricity for Rootmore.
Seven to Scarab and Monet and three for Tricky.
OK.
It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.
It's not so bad.
I'm going to stand here and take it.
Who cares?
After the creature reflexively discharges its electricity,
it will open its mouth, pointing at Scarab,
and you will see sparks begin to emanate from its mouth
as a ball of electricity flies in your direction.
Oh, don't say it yet.
Don't say it yet.
OK.
Also, would this be considered as casting a spell,
like a manipulate?
Nope.
Ranged attack.
Oh, but with reactive strike.
It is not manipulated?
Or does it still work if it's a ranged attack that
doesn't manipulate?
I don't know.
OK, let me check something really quick.
I want to actually use one of my reactions.
That's OK.
I just want to see.
It just sucks.
I have two.
One of them has to do with if I get crit,
and the other one I have to announce
before getting hit, which kind of sucks.
But I don't want to ask you if what you rolled
was a crit or not, because I don't want to hear.
It's just tough.
I wish there was...
I don't know if there's a hard set rule
on how to do reactions like this.
But I'm going to go with this one.
A trigger you can see attempts to range strike at you.
You know, Scarab gets shocked.
He yelps, sees the creature charging up,
and he's going to jump off of Tricky,
and he's going to hit the dirt.
He flings himself out of harm's way.
His movement gives him a plus two circumstance bonus
to AC against the triggering attack.
Regardless of whether or not it hits,
I land prone after completing my leap.
OK, how's an 18?
It's going to be a miss.
All right, there you go.
Good dodge.
Very good.
I'll get my tokens set.
We'll find out about that reactive strike real quick.
Oh, fuck it, it's right in front of me.
It makes a ranged attack.
OK, go ahead and do your reactive strike.
I'm sitting here looking, and I found another source,
and I found it saying it in the other source.
I just missed it the first time.
Rootmore kisses his hammer, and then he swings it.
Mm-mm.
21 to him.
That's a hit.
Beautiful.
The way your dice jingled, it sounds like you beat money
out of him.
A five bludgeoning.
OK, and that is it for that creature's turn.
As your hammer collides with it, the lizard next to it
becomes startled, and it begins to arc.
And as it does so, the first lizard begins to arc
in response.
I need a reflex save from everybody.
OK, I'm in this tiny room on purpose.
I'm curious.
What's reflex save look like if I'm prone?
Do I get a negative to it?
Just turn the prone thing on, you know, your condition.
I got to add it.
Yeah.
Start rolling.
Just, yeah, it says minus two, two attack rolls,
plus four.
If I'm hunkered down, I get plus four bonus to AC,
but I'm not.
I'm just on the ground.
So if you'll let me just roll around.
Yeah, rules written, there's no penalty aside from to AC,
so no, you're fine.
What'd you get, Roomer?
I got a 24.
OK, success, half damage.
Oh.
Money?
A 25.
Oh, shit.
Success, half damage.
And for you, Scarab?
Just checking for trickies.
Tricky got a 25.
Half.
Scarab got a 26.
Half.
Beautiful.
More prepared for it this time.
That is 10 damage, so five for every one.
OK.
I have possibly an annoying question.
Go for it.
I was looking at some of my abilities, one of them being
extract element.
You extract elemental matter from a creature's body
to weaken it and take its power for your own,
target a creature within 30 feet that has a trait matching
one of your own or one of your kinetic elements
or is made from one of your kinetic elements.
So my question is, lightning is a composite element
of metal and air.
Mm-hmm.
So would I have to also have air?
Because it says one of your...
I would think so, because your element is metal,
and metal on its own is not.
So would I not be able to use extract elements,
because it says extract target a creature within 30 feet
that has a trait matching one of your kinetic gates?
I mean, the simple answer is, is electricity
one of your kinetic gates?
Electricity isn't a kinetic gate.
OK.
It's a composite of air and metal.
That's my question.
OK.
I don't know enough, so I'm going to assume that yes,
that's OK.
And then if we get that wrong, then we'll correct it later.
Anyway, the second lizard does much like the first,
and its mouth opens, and it begins to shoot
a arc of electricity, this one going for you, Rootmore.
Oh, no.
Throw a great ball at it.
This is a range strike.
Ah, terrible.
17.
Oh, that's a miss.
Yeah.
All right, that's it.
Combat over.
Just kidding.
Rootmore, it's your turn.
Oh, wow.
This is amazing.
How's an 8 and a 7 on both attacks for each creature?
How's the injured one looking?
Pretty bad.
He's got like three holes in him.
His head is lightly dented.
He's not looking good.
And the injured one is the one that's closest to Scarab,
correct?
Yes.
The left, the westernmost lizard.
Left turn.
Let's do a left turn.
So many fucking tabs.
Clearing up the man.
It's called Vicious Strike.
Is that what it's called?
You can only imagine Rootmore.
Vicious Swing.
Whenever Rootmore does anything, he's just
like looking through a book.
Without looking away from the page, just slams his hammer down.
Oh, was that five damage?
Vicious Swing coming at the one next to Monet.
Oh, 25 to hit.
That's a hit.
The eastern lightning lizard that when you are zoomed out enough,
it almost looks like a monkey laying on its side being all cute.
I like lizards.
22 bludgeoning damage.
22?
Yeah, I rolled a 10 and an 8.
Wow.
Plus a 4.
Beautiful.
That's a lot of damage.
That's our Rootmore.
Blood sprays from this thing's mouth as your hammer collides with it.
Oh, look who's back.
It's going to make a regular swing at the other one that is still flanked.
Minus 10.
So it's just going to be a die roll.
No, nothing added to this.
10.
10 to hit.
Miss.
That's it for Rootmore.
Why did I do that?
I was going to do something else with that third action.
You dummy.
What an idiot.
Hey, man.
Big solid damage.
22 damage.
I think you're fine.
22 damage.
You got all your clothes on.
I know.
It's really crazy.
Nothing is broken.
You're sick.
But you're sick as well, dude.
You got this, Hermy.
Monet, Monet, Monet.
Monet.
Sorry, I'm still reading about extract elements.
Stop reading, nerd.
It's time to play Pathfinder.
I'll take her turn.
The second to last line.
What is it?
Reactive swing.
Fissure swing coming again.
Step out of the way, Monet.
Don't worry about it, Twerk.
We'll deal with it later.
It is extract element.
So I will do a fortitude save.
Which one are you doing it against?
I'll do it on the one to the west.
OK.
And that's against my...
Against your class DC.
And the fortitude save I got is...
Where's your fortitude?
23.
That is a success.
OK.
So it will take half of your 2d4 damage.
And you will add lightning to your aura.
Where the hell are my dice?
I just think it's funny.
You're surrounded by dice and you're looking for dice.
2d4.
OK.
That is 6, so you take 3 damage.
OK.
So now you add lightning to your aura.
And that lizard has a minus 1 to its AC.
And saves against your impulse attacks.
Sweet.
OK.
What are you doing with your other two actions?
Monet will then do a two action elemental blast.
Blast them.
Blast?
Yeah, see that's a really nice starting move.
Because you don't have to worry about MAP in that case.
You just get a 2d4 chance at somebody.
OK.
That is a 24 to hit.
Roll for damage.
Blast.
Chidori.
8 damage.
What's that lightning sound?
Scrappy kill.
Oh damn.
Yes.
Uh.
It's kind of like a pull and push kind of thing.
Because these lizards are sparking out and their sparks are kind of fluctuating.
And as it fluctuates out, you just see it pull from them, circle around Monet, and then just slam back into them.
And then it's just like a...
Over the water and then it gets a little less sparky because there's only one left.
He squished his beards out.
Yeah.
Squished his beards out.
Alrighty.
Up next is Scarab.
One left.
Scarab rolls onto his back and fires his weapon.
Oh baby.
Can we find a natural crit with a 29 to hit?
Wow.
Critical.
Whoa.
Deadly.
Yes, finally.
Deadly critical.
Yeah, it just seems like so much.
Am I literally doubling my damage dice and doing the crit?
And the crit.
It just seems like so much.
Yeah, it's four.
Because you've got two damage dice, right?
So it's four damage dice and then plus the deadly one.
And then you double your modifier.
It feels like cheating.
It's amazing though.
It is.
That's how it was with the Colonel doing the magic strike or whatever it's called with the Magus.
That felt like cheating.
I just don't think I deserve it.
It does feel like cheating.
But it feels so good.
Yeah, but it's correct.
It's crazy.
Yep, level one.
I'm going to charge a spell into my weapon and then slap the shit out of you.
Oh, that's a lot of damage.
Whoops.
That was with Kai, shooting magical bullets.
Well, the bullets going to do a D10.
Plus dex.
Or not plus dex, but it's going to do a D10.
And then on top of that, it's going to do 2D6 from Ghost Claw.
Hell yeah, it's going to be 22 damage.
Like fish in a barrel.
Describe it.
The steam becomes red.
And no more little snaps and crackles can be heard.
But a red mist fills the air.
Anywhere out of initiative.
Oh, whoa.
Crit's feel kind of bad with elemental blast because my critical success on elemental blast is double damage.
But we're ready to double damage.
Sucks.
Well, you'd still get a card though if you did a natural 20.
Yeah.
You know?
I hate castles.
I would like to recall knowledge on these things.
All right.
Give me a nature check.
Ah.
Scarab's going to hop back on tricky.
23.
Shocker lizards is what these are called.
Shocker.
Yeah.
Oh.
Something you know about them is that they have a ability known as greater electro location.
They can sense minute electrical charges in living creatures up to 20 feet.
Interesting.
And if the creature is electrical in nature or has a similar sense, it can go as far as 100 feet.
But you assume, based on what you know about them, that they likely knew that you were coming into the room before you made it into the room.
But you also know that they are extremely territorial creatures and likely would not have fled.
Do they seek out the electric?
I'm just so curious that that's written into this unplayable creature.
Like, are they seeking out the electrical currents?
They just have like electrical sensitivity.
So like if Monet was electrically charged.
And trying to sneak it wouldn't work.
Then they would have known that Monet was there, honestly, from 100 feet the moment you entered the dungeon.
Yeah.
So then there would have been no surprising them in that case.
Yeah, it's just so interesting when details be like that.
They probably would have known in general because of her metal?
No.
They sense distortions in electrical fields.
They can sense your bioelectrical nature within 20 feet.
They can just sense living creatures within 20 feet.
And then if something is electrical in nature, it can sense them five times as far.
I see.
Rootmore is going to grab one of them by the tail.
How big are these things?
They're pretty small.
They're not tiny.
Seven inches.
But they're like a koi fish size.
He's going to make sauce with them.
Yeah, yeah.
He's going to grab both of them.
Grab them both by the tail.
Pull them out of the water.
Lay them down.
Just pull out his clan dagger and just start skinning them.
Give me a crafting check.
Rootmore, these super eyes have only got about 50 minutes left.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I'm so sorry.
I can see everything.
Natural 20.
I also only...
Okay, I got a natural 20.
Just grab it by the...
Yes, finally.
Grab it by the neck's growth and just rip that skin off.
Perfectly made sauce.
It's not really the time to be butchering lizards.
I can't even see any of you.
All you need is your nose.
I can tell by the nose.
All you need is your nose.
In the room that smells of sulfur and now ozone.
All you need is your nose.
All right.
Let's say that your skinning technique is so flawless that you have enough meat to make
several sausages a piece.
And the skins that you were able to extract,
aside from the, you know, taking care to cut away
from the sections that were gored by a boar
or full of holes from bullets,
you were able to extract enough skin
that you think you might be able to sell it
for a small profit.
Ooh, cool.
Maybe a cool little hat.
How long has it been?
Are you trained or expert in crafting?
Just trained.
Trained?
You imagine you can get about nine silver pieces
for those two skins.
Okay.
Oh, can Rootmore roll like a medicine check
just to see what the fuck is wrong with him?
Sure.
Probably that festering open wound.
Oh, don't worry about that.
Rolling very well right now, 25.
Now that you think about it.
I'm worried.
It's probably that festering open wound.
You think back to what could be making you feel terrible.
What did I eat?
Have I drank anything funky recently?
Maybe it was all that cleric talk about demons.
And you remember that just the other day,
yesterday in fact, you were bit by a disgusting giant rat.
Yeah.
As you turn around and look into the hallway,
you can still see their carcasses strewn about.
And you realize you must have caught something.
Is there a way to get rid of it?
Protection.
Should I do another? What was your roll?
It was a, oh.
26, is that what you said?
Uh, no, 25.
Okay.
That will, I'm gonna throw that against the DC
to move the save originally
and say that's a critical success enough for you to know,
you know, you too are a bit of a doctor in your time.
You think that one of the most common diseases
that these rats carry is filth fever.
I was gonna guess that.
So from what you know about that,
your first day since the bite would have made you a carrier
with no ill effect.
And then you will be sick for a day.
And then on the following day, you will be sick and slowed.
And if you're not able to be cured by the fifth day,
sorry, not the fifth day, shit math.
Okay, so tomorrow you'll be sick and slowed.
And the day after tomorrow, if you cannot cure,
it will kill you.
That's cool.
Okay, so is it a disease?
Yes, it is a disease.
The sickened and unconscious conditions from filth fever
do not improve until their own disease is cured.
Don't improve on their own, reading is hard,
until the disease is cured.
You would have to spend eight hours doing a treat disease.
And that just gives you a bonus
on the next day's roll, right?
Plus two or plus four if it's a critical.
Okay, it's okay.
At the end of the day, I will have you roll a save.
Ooh.
You okay, buddy?
Ah, a little sick.
It's those rats.
Those nasty rats.
Did you forget to take a bath last night?
Yeah, I did.
Did you wear a condom?
Preventative care.
I always wear a condom, never without one.
Never without one.
Right now?
Yes, exactly.
You never know.
I'm so scared I'll wear one when I masturbate.
Yes, you never know.
Not gonna clone of me, government.
Not gonna get this on the doorknob.
Not again.
Yeah, you'll make a save tonight.
If you fail, then when you wake up tomorrow,
you will be sickened and slowed,
and then you will make another save that night.
And if you fail that save, you will be dead.
Could...
Let's try to finish this adventure before that.
So the story will end,
and we'll never know if he made the save or not.
You're just not gonna get it fixed.
Could...
Carintha?
Grandpa?
Krampus?
Cran-saren?
Cranberry sauce?
I don't know how to say her name.
You can do it.
Carthana?
There you go.
Could she help with it?
Give him a bonus?
There is a spell, cure disease, right?
We're gonna have to chop it off.
Remove disease?
What level spell is that?
The third level spell,
and she's level six.
So she could.
Oh, we just gotta go talk to that lady.
Let me cut your arm off with my poison dagger.
Don't need her.
Ha!
I'm a clerk.
A quark.
Don't need her.
We're gonna have to level up
and you should read a book or two before you die.
I'm not gonna die, don't be silly, Scarab.
Foot falls off.
Hey, where'd you go?
Didn't you, weren't you talking about your potion
that you drank?
Tick tock, tick tock.
Yeah, um.
Scarab's eyes look crazy right now.
They just look super dilated.
They look like cokehead chibi eyes.
He's like bitching.
Yeah, yeah, quick, I've got like 48 minutes.
Check that door.
I'm gonna, Monet's gonna channel,
or she's already channeling,
so Stone Skin channel again.
Okay.
Stone Skin, I mean, earth armor.
Different, different thing.
Deerfend.
Perception check on this north door.
Make sure there's nothing in here.
I'm fucking, you know, trapped some bullshit.
Yeah.
16.
Quick, open it while the DM isn't looking.
I got a 20 plus two or three.
Oh, I gotta.
It's also for secret doors.
If I did not say that, I think I did.
Secret doors and traps.
Monet got a 23.
Do you guys need to use the resolve?
No.
I'm halfway down on stamina.
I'd kinda like to save it.
Okay.
I just put on my earth armor again.
Ah, okay.
Don't wanna take that 10 minutes and do it again.
I mean, I could.
If you really got it.
No.
You know, you're hanging out, sitting on the ground,
skinning a rat.
Lizard ball.
They're all rats to me.
No, you don't wanna eat those rats.
They make you feel weird.
It's totally nothing to worry about,
but you probably shouldn't touch those rats.
Okay.
So you're checking the door for traps, both of you?
Yeah.
Okay.
You do not.
All three of us.
Monet, you see nothing.
The other two, just kidding.
None of you see any traps on the door.
What does draw your eye though
is the rather ornate decoration on this large brass door.
It is a double door.
On the left side, you see,
or let's start with the right side.
On the right side, you see a band of
brave, decorated Dwarven knights.
And on the left, you see cartoonish depictions of dwarves
in not a very flattering imagery.
They appear to be like grotesque characterizations of dwarves.
They're shorter than the noble looking Dwarven knights.
They're obese.
Their clothes are ill-fitting and they look almost mad.
Does it look like it was done by the same artist or?
And the forces seem to face each other in opposition.
That one looks like me.
Is that supposed to be your people?
The kind of crappy,
the overweight.
No, we're the cool ones.
Look kind of stinky. Stop it.
You know, I don't know if this was here with your people
or the new people, if they came in and did this.
Like, is that supposed to be you
or is this your people talking crap about someone else?
This probably has to be Taurag.
I don't know.
I'd like to roll maybe religion or something.
Yeah, give me a religion check.
Taurag or Trollskar.
Does it seem like something
the great high mighty Taurag would do?
Be so mean to these other stupid
yeah, berate other dwarves.
Poorly shaven neckbeard dwarves.
Torgi.
Come on Torgi, don't you dare talk about neckbeards.
So you're saying that your people
like to make fun of other dwarves?
I don't think your people would ever do that.
I feel like you would be on the receiving end.
I'm being picked on right now.
Stop it.
The Eastern depiction, the door on the right.
The door on the right depicts Droskar's smiths
and dwarven warriors who gave their lives
in a brutal battle with the forces of the old empire
that they believe had fallen into decadence.
They laid low the elite armies of the king
depicted on the left door and paved the way
for a joyous theocracy dedicated to Droskar.
But you recall this event
and you know that every one of them perished in the battle.
All the Droskar's?
Yep. Wow.
Yeah, the old kingdom won
and drove out the supporters of Droskar.
Liars, all of them, liars.
How long did they take this place over?
To have time to make these ornate doors.
You gonna push your way in?
Full of lies, yes.
Right behind you, buddy.
Yes, very interesting.
Why would they take the time to do this?
Bunch of liars.
You in this room.
He's so crazy.
You're a liar.
Crying.
Bunch of liars.
Running forward with your eyes closed, wiping away tears.
Okay, as you push open the door,
you can see that much like the depictions on the door,
there are statues on either side of this room.
Oh, boy.
The room itself is a, let's see.
A big room.
It's a big open room.
The room is about 30 feet long
to another set of double doors.
So much room for that.
And the room itself is a,
and. Two feet.
Puzzles, maybe.
50 feet wide.
Please don't be a puzzle.
The western half has statues
depicted the same as on the door.
Very unflattering, ugly, and crude characterizations
of what Droskar's followers believe
to be greedy and corrupt dwarves.
And on the right are dwarven artisans,
knights, smiths, and soldiers.
Son of a gun.
Scare, roll me a perception check.
25.
Scare of something you see.
About 15 feet away from the door,
roughly in the middle of the leftron's,
leftron?
God.
Of the left statues on the west
is a dead kobold impaled on a spear.
Perfect.
Seems like every new room.
Yes.
Kobold.
The kobold is impaled
onto one of the spears of the ugly dwarves.
Still hanging there, limply.
No.
What's the Harry Potter quote?
Please someone help me.
Not me.
Not Hermione.
You.
That's what this room is.
Oh, we got giant chess pieces.
We got a dang old kobold.
But we don't have enough
pieces for it to be adjusted.
Oh, you go in there and tell me how the statues fare.
Oh, I just saw you step in.
You did it.
I'm just testing the water.
Just testing the water.
Just testing the DM.
Check for traps.
Any weird spots to step on?
I'd like to, do I recognize this kobold
as perhaps one of the ones we saw at the very beginning?
One of the ones that ran from us.
Yeah.
Wait, the roll I did was just for perception earlier?
I thought you were rolling one right now.
Yes, I was just making sure.
27 to.
We're checking out the kobold yet?
Yeah.
Okay, let me tell you a couple of things.
From where you are, it's hard to tell
if that's the same one, but something you can see,
if you'll back your character up for a moment,
is blood on the floor.
Looks as if the kobold ran into this room dripping blood
and then suddenly full sprinted directly into the spear.
Creepy.
I rolled a perception for traps.
Yeah, happily checked for traps as well.
Go ahead.
That's what I wanted to do as well.
Bad roll.
15.
26.
Dang, 15.
No, yep, 15.
Monet, something seems a little different
about the spot where the kobold seemed to veer off west.
Like the stone has a slight discoloration to it.
You're Indiana Jones traps here, people.
Do any of the other stones?
You guys can roll me more checks if you want.
Let's do it.
Natural 20 for a 30 plus two or three.
17.
This isn't chess, this is Minesweeper.
Let me use eagle eyes.
Pshh.
Screaming into the room.
Eagle eyes.
That is a 19.
His eyes turn into two eagles
and they fly off into the room.
Monet, you do not see anymore.
But, no, you can leave that there.
I was gonna do a Minesweeper instead.
Oh, got you.
Scarab looks like a, who was it?
It was a beavis.
It was a good one.
It was a beavis that ate, was it the cactus flower?
They did peyote out in the desert.
Yeah, it was, we found mushrooms.
Rootmore, you notice.
What is this?
Wow, wow, tricky, tricky.
The sun sucks.
Rootmore, you notice that something doesn't seem right
about the tile directly to the right.
And then scarab with your elixir in hand or in body.
In eyes.
Right into my eye.
With your big special eyes.
You can see it's not the only one.
Just put F instead of a F for flag.
Investigate.
Just run really, really fast.
In total, you see six strange stone tiles
seeming to be arranged in a triangle
pointing towards your door from the door to the north.
Brutal.
Careful, there's traps.
I'll point at them and you guys will remember
where I'm pointing.
Caution should be a must.
Just don't step on those.
All right, Rootmore.
Cody, when you said the one to the right,
when you were telling me what Rootmore saw,
you're talking about right in front of him or the one that?
The one to the right of the one that Monet saw.
So anywhere you see a flag on the map currently
is where one is.
Monet sees the front left, you see the front right,
Scarab sees the back four.
Could I peek my little head in and look at the statues?
Sure.
To see if this is some sort of puzzle?
If I see any patterns in the statues?
Yeah, looking to your left, you can see
each of these grotesque ugly dwarves
is wielding multiple spears.
There are double sets of spears at every statue,
all of them pointing forward menacingly,
each of their faces twisted into some form of jeering,
cajoling, or shouting.
And then on the right, the other statues
stand in quiet nobility with large smithing hammers,
shields, and other works at the ready,
but no arms presented.
Interesting.
There doesn't seem to be any sort of pattern with them though.
No.
But there's that graffiti on them.
You ugly and so cool.
Yeah.
It's written in draconic.
So, a running jump?
I don't know if it's worth it.
Just knowing the layout of this place,
going past the doors of this room
would lead to the speaking room.
Hmm, that is a very keen sense of direction.
Thank you.
But with such a wonderful trap,
there must be something nice behind it.
Yeah, the speaking room.
That's a bold assumption.
You could be right.
Huh, let me see.
You have to remember, Rootmore,
we found that speaking room behind
some sort of strange unseen wall.
Who knows what could be around every corner?
Very true.
One of y'all want to lead the way?
Tricky and I have a pretty good chance of making this.
I'll do it.
I'll stand guard.
Yah!
Tricky's gonna run into the room
and attempt to jump to the back door.
Is it a door?
Do we see a door?
It is a door.
I see a door.
Here we go.
Roll.
Yep, I would like to attempt a running jump
over them squares.
Roll athletics for Tricky.
23.
Yes.
Monet would also like to do that.
Okay.
Natural 20.
Wow.
Beautiful.
You actually jump.
We both jump at the same time,
but you see that I'm gonna land in the same spot as you,
so you turn in the air.
Yeah.
Grab your feet mid jump and do a 360.
Stick out your tongue and flick up a middle finger
before you land perfectly.
It's for a 31.
All right.
And now you're standing in front of a wooden double door.
What are you, Rootmore?
Some big giant chicken?
Some big giant armored chicken?
Just gonna walk this way.
Just hang back.
Hang back.
Skarred's gonna check for traps on this door.
You can do your thing.
Just don't set anything off.
I'm just gonna fiddle with the cobalt.
A-boo.
Infidels.
24, checkin' for traps on the door.
No traps.
Rootmore fiddling with the cobalt.
In his pouches, you fiddler.
Gets launched across the room.
I said fiddler, like on the roof.
Fiddly-diddly-diddly.
Dr. Billy.
You find an ammunition pouch
that has more of those obsidian chips
that they were using in the very first fight that you had.
You also find-
You find a waterproof ammunition pouch.
Two polished obsidian disks
about the size of a small plate.
Ooh.
Rootmore will casually just, you know, step.
Stop moving.
No.
I'm gonna need an acrobatics check.
Really, just stepping this way?
Yeah.
I mean, if you knew you were stepping
between two potentially dangerous things,
you'd wanna be extra careful about it, right?
Okay, fine.
Because I thought, you know, like in combat,
you step right here, that's just five feet diagonally.
Yeah.
I would say-
Yeah, this is-
I would go for it.
What I would rule is that if you're gonna do that
without doing the jump check, that you should tumble through.
Or some other form of tiptoeing.
If he has to do a check, he'll wait.
He's not gonna go.
He probably had pretty good athletics.
You'd be surprised.
Plus four.
It's not bad.
It's like, you also have to remember
you got like stubby dwarf legs.
Yes.
So you'd wanna be-
You do have to get a DC 15.
It's 11 or higher.
It's like only a 45% chance to fail.
How many times tonight have you rolled over 11?
Not much.
You do have a PP.
And I wanna watch you use it.
You could also wait.
Yeah, that's what I wanna do.
I wanna wait.
I'll wait until you open the door
just to see if it's even worth it.
Coward.
I'm kidding, just kidding.
I don't want you to die.
If you weren't on the other side of this trap,
I would twist your nipple.
Oh, nanny nanny boo boo, you can't catch me.
I was gonna step on this on purpose and step away.
Good luck.
I've never seen a chicken wear armor.
How?
The horse starts throwing bullet slings at you guys.
How?
I'm gonna open the door now.
It's here, it's just weeping.
I'm totally unaffected by anything being said.
I'm not a coward.
You guys are rude.
Yeah, scarab oil.
I'm gonna share my sausage with you.
Stop it.
You're just gonna open the door slowly.
Sneakily, actually.
Open the door and not open the chicken.
Oh.
Hey you, we got a couple of pews in here.
Amen, brother.
Who the fuck?
It's me in the corner.
It's me in the spotlight.
I'm the dead kobold.
Oh yeah.
Losing my religion.
Oh yeah, we're playing a game.
Oh yeah.
The room in front of you is very simple.
There are those two pews that run on either side
and each wall, the western and eastern walls,
are polished stone with names carved into them.
First things first, five feet in, checking for traps.
23, checking for traps.
Surveying the whole room.
Surveying the base of the pews.
Surveying.
Monet has both hands on Tricky's butt
and is leaning to the side trying to see into
Cheryl's tent for perceiving traps.
So you're gonna go around the room looking for traps?
Okay.
If I don't find any, I'm gonna be pissed.
As you go around the room, you go clockwise
and you glance over the polished wall
and you can see dozens of dwarven names.
Man, what's this freaking room?
Nothing to do with traps here.
So you continue to move, passing the northern wall.
And that one is polished as well but devoid of any names.
And then the eastern is another polished wall
and as you're gazing over that one,
by the time you get to this end of the wall,
right about here in the southeast part of the room,
one particular name catches your eye.
Oh.
There is the name Grindbolt Stoneslider
and you see some sort of depression deep within yourself.
Now underneath it, on the stone.
It's a real fight to be here.
Did you say grindbolt?
Stoneslider.
See, I wrote boneslider.
Now that was his cousin.
Town bicycle.
Not really a town though.
The cult bicycle.
Interesting.
And this name just sticks out to me, huh?
Right underneath the name is that depression in the stone.
That kind of is what catches your eye.
But yeah, it's right beneath the name
grindbolt stoneslider.
Yeah, Tricky's gonna come back out.
What are you gonna go in?
Well, Monet, be careful.
I came back out for a reason.
And then you have to wait for him to move
so you can get back out.
There's a dang old something on the wall in here
and if anyone's gonna die, it's gonna be me.
He presses it.
Or fiddles his fingers in there.
As you fiddle for far too long,
the stone gives way and you hear a soft click
followed soon after by the grinding of stone.
Or the sliding of stone.
What was that?
I can't see past Tricky.
I'm back on him.
Something's happening.
And the northern wall made of polished stone
begins to split, revealing an open door
into the sound chamber to the north.
Hey, Rudemore.
Yeah?
What's this?
You were correct.
Oh, thanks.
We'll just meet you on the other side, right?
Sounds good.
Monet's gonna yell into the thing.
Hello, who's there?
Oh, into the horn?
What direction are you gonna point it?
Southwest, northeast, or northwest?
Northeast.
Yeah, this one right here.
Okay, what do you yell?
Hello?
She's gonna run over and listen.
You hear nothing.
She's gonna turn it to the northwest.
Okay.
Freak.
Hello?
She'll run over.
Again, nothing.
Yeah, Scarab's just watching in the corner
with his mouth agape.
And then she'll point it to the southwest.
Hello?
She'll run over.
Nothing.
I don't know what this room is for, Scarab.
Wow.
Hey, Rude Mor, how you doing?
I'm steaming in the steaming room right now.
You're not dying, are you?
That feels fantastic.
You did look awful sick.
Thank you.
You really missed out, Rude Mor.
There's a lot of names on these walls.
Okay.
I guess that's something Matt is interested in.
Are the names on the wall, are they Droskar,
or are they Torag, you know?
Not that Scarab would know, but it's just weird.
They're dwarf names.
Seems like everything we found,
it's like Druengar following has been here
a lot longer than I thought they were.
Droskar?
Droskar, yeah, thank you.
Druenskar.
Yeah.
Drogon.
Yeah, like with the fancy doors and stuff,
you would think that'd be Torag stuff,
but Droskar's people have been here so long
that they've completely changed this whole place.
I do kind of fear Rude Mor going around by himself.
This place is fucked up.
Your people did this.
No, they didn't.
I meant like the people that look like you.
They're the ones that did it.
Oh, that's so gross, you stuffed.
That's so gross.
Come over here.
Jump over these traps again so I can kick your ass.
Thought you were insulting my god, not my race.
I don't care who you worship.
I don't care about the color of your skin.
What shape are your ears?
Freak.
What's your height and shoulder width ratio?
No, it's real fucked up for people like you.
I'm medium size.
You're so burly.
Yes.
You little small man, you little baby.
Burly.
Don't forget to mention my giant head.
Head is the heaviest part of my body.
I have to stay low to the ground.
I promise I'm not racist.
This is my character.
Can you expect he's a go-bald?
There, that's racist.
I'm gonna go around.
Yeah, I mean, you could.
Reach all the way to the well.
That Rupemur's gonna walk all the way around.
He's gonna take the long way around.
Split in the party, huh?
Let's go, Monet.
Yes.
All right, show me exactly which way you walk.
I can't do.
Wait, no, I don't wanna go that way.
Come on.
At the well?
What well?
The one you lock.
Just follow the tree.
Northeast.
About 185 feet away.
Also, Rupemur, I was joking.
You can just, you can go.
You don't have to show me exactly which way.
All right.
Now that we're all here,
I'd like to check off in the, that side room.
Scarab points to the, what was it?
It looks like cave walls.
Yeah, it's like they dug through
or it's a cave or something.
Yeah, I would just like to see where this leads.
If this is where they were dragging people in or something.
Good idea.
Is the lift still jammed with the dagger
or has that been removed?
Yep, you still see the dagger jammed in.
Okay.
Yeah, scarab.
And to the east?
Would like to check to the east.
Unlike the rest of the ruins so far,
this area features rough stone and undressed rock
reminiscent of a mine shaft.
The tunnels seem to divide and rejoin several times,
splitting in different directions.
There's also thick, acrid smoke
that make it difficult to see and to breathe.
The heck?
Mon-Mei will wrap her scarf around her face.
You have another one of those scarves.
Yeah, scarab will do the same thing with his headpiece.
He's gonna hop off tricky for this.
Just wants to be able to get in there.
And he's small so he shouldn't have to squeeze too hard
if these are squeeze spots.
Just wanna take a better look.
Treasure.
Okay, as you begin to push into these tunnels,
covering your mouth was a smart move.
But you feel like even with your impromptu face masks,
it is very difficult to breathe and to see.
I think.
You can't see more than 10 feet in front of you.
I think, let me check real quick if I need to breathe.
I don't remember if kobold work like lizard folk do.
Okay.
Yeah, it's just a lizard folk thing.
Sorry, nevermind, I'll take whatever happens
with just trying to hold my breath.
Rune-Mor wants to run back to one of those kobolds
that attacked us last night.
Son of a gun of a.
Get their whatever mask they're aware of.
Very smart.
Rune-Mor, good idea, bring me one too.
Okay.
I'm gonna step out of this.
Okay, I'll grab two.
Three. No, three, three.
If there's four, bring one for Tricky.
Oh, good idea.
I don't know.
Three for Tricky.
I mean, one for each eye.
There were a thousand.
Kobolds are medium or small?
Small. Small.
Okay. Tricky is large now.
So one of the masks will easily fit you, Scarab.
The other two, you're going to have to resize them.
But you don't need them to be perfect.
So I'll accept a crafting check
just to rudimentary, rudimentarily cover your face.
What if they took it,
pressed it against their face
and then tied it with their said scarves?
Yeah, just give me a crafting check
and it doesn't have to be big.
I mean, there's more than enough for us
so Rune-Mor can take them apart
and put some together to make them bigger.
Crafty.
I'd be happy to aid in any craft checks.
I'm not.
Oh, Scarab, you should do this and I'll aid.
Okay.
It's your ass.
I'm sick right now.
Why are you complaining?
I aid.
Do you want a mask or not?
Yeah.
Please.
16.
The plus one?
Yep.
That's good enough.
So taking a little bit of time,
you're able to fashion together enough masks
for all of you, including for Tricky.
So a little thing about these masks,
they will give you a plus two bonus,
item bonus, against any inhaled effect.
And they give you a minus four to perception checks.
Is it called anything or is it the basic face mask?
Cause they have a basic face mask.
I didn't know that.
I was just humbering an item.
We could at least do that to have it in our gear.
All it is is plus one bonus to saves
to avoid contracting.
Yeah, go ahead and add that there,
just to have something on your sheet.
Cool.
Nice.
I'm so mad that I didn't think to grab one of those.
It's like the first thing,
whenever I hear of a special item like that,
I'm like, ooh, I'm not even gonna think about the fight.
I'm gonna think about picking that up.
Didn't cross my mind at once
that that would be a good thing to have.
Cody only mentioned it once or twice
and that was the first episode of that fight.
We didn't talk about it.
But the whole time I was aware that they had it
cause they were willingly in there.
Yeah.
You know?
And it just like didn't put it together that,
oh, I can have that.
I also, I really like when you guys think
about what this looks like
cause it probably looks pretty cool and a little goofy.
Because the Kobold face masks in general
are almost like a wide leather sock on the front
that droops down into a bulb.
And it has-
You guys are gonna look like sad ducks.
The front of that bulb is a metal dome
that has perforated holes on it.
This is like the filter essentially.
And it's stuffed with various herbs,
kind of like a plague doctor's mask,
but it's just a big bulb.
And then it has thick black goggles on the front
that protect the wearer's eyes.
But at a penalty.
So unlike a normal face mask,
this will give you two to your saves
against inhaled effects and a minus four to perception.
Okay.
Shove a sausage in there, man.
Yeah.
Mmm, everything smells good all the time.
I'll never die.
Primor eats his mask.
Where's the mask for the rest of the camp?
Kasing has a nice snap.
Thank you.
I'll take another.
I have in mind exactly what this face mask looks like.
And I'm pretty sure I know.
Oh, I didn't.
For anybody at home wondering,
the mask I envision is that of the goblin
from Final Fantasy 11 or from Final Fantasy in general.
And it looks like this.
Yeah.
Cute.
Yeah, that's kind of what I was seeing in my head.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's neat.
All right, forward hold.
Let's go into the sweet.
All right, forward hold, let's go into this weird cave.
Mm-hmm.
Perception checks.
Checking for traps and secret doors.
Minus four.
Scarab got a 15 plus two or three if there's traps.
Okay.
Or a secret door.
Natural 20.
Wow.
Monet got a 12.
Stop.
I thought I told you to delete that.
I did.
Then why is it there?
Oh, I thought you meant from the episode when I did it.
No.
All right, something to note.
First, you do not see any traps.
You don't see much at all of anything.
The smoke here is thicker and blacker than the smoke
the Cobalt's used against you.
And it has a horrible acrid scent to it.
So much so that you feel like if you weren't
wearing your gas masks, it would be enough to nauseate you.
And even still, it's a bit of a challenge.
So I'm going to need fortitude save.
Uh-oh.
Give yourself a plus two for your masks.
Thank goodness.
Best breather alive.
19.
Plus two.
31.
Yeah, me too.
Did you get a 20?
I got a 19.
Wow.
I got a bad fortitude.
Though each of you can feel the sting of the smoke,
you almost feel like it's enough to make you sick.
But you don't feel sick.
Nice.
The second thing to note is that due to the thickness
of the smoke, you want to stay really close to your friends
because you can't see more than 10 feet forward at a time.
Too often as you begin moving.
What was that sentence?
Too often as you begin to move.
As you are begin to moving.
Hey, hey, hey, listen.
All too often as you begin to moving through tunnels.
You are quickly met by a sudden sharp turn,
almost bumping into a wall in front of you.
I'm going to reach out and hold my hand.
Touch faith.
I'll hold Rupor's hand.
I can't see.
Scarab, hold my hand.
Scarab, back.
It's running off into the darkness.
Free me from these people.
Grab his hand, Rupor.
Oh, I got your tail.
I got your tail.
No, come back here.
Stop running in circles, Scarab.
It's a nice place.
Stop.
I can't see why you're making that noise.
Oh, stop.
Stop, please.
It's OK.
Just follow the sound of his voice.
Move further into the tunnels.
Just screaming.
Help me.
It's dark in here.
Can't see.
Your hand's so sweaty.
And you're wearing gloves.
I was in the steamy room the whole time you guys were
poking around.
Hey, everyone, be quiet.
I'm going to fire my gun.
As you fumble your way through the tunnels,
Scarab, you suddenly bump into something.
Fire.
And as you step back from what you assumed to be another wall,
it slowly begins to glow and let out a deep, low growl.
As an orange glow of flames begins
to build in the dark smoke.
And that's it for today.
Run, run, turn around.
Everyone, leave.
Please.
Oh, my god.
Ah.
What is happening?
Uh-uh.
Help me, please, Runeborn, please help.
Ha ha ha.
Hee hee.
Hee.
Comet time.
Ooh.
Oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots.
There's a comet.
There's a comet on Age of Ashes, episode 12 on YouTube.
Oh, that's one of the better ones.
Which one is that?
It's called I Want to Leave.
It's one of my favorite fights we've ever done.
The tiny little man.
The take me with you man.
Take me with you, take me with you, take me with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course.
Who could forget?
The Nanafana Fulfarin is all over this.
There was something we were talking about.
It was just you were talking, Matthew, you were talking about D, if he dies, you bring a character back.
My name's E and I can't smell.
Yeah.
Something like that.
That's a fucking smell.
No, but she wrote, this is my fan art of E and it's just a little turd emoji.
Ha ha ha.
Damn.
Look, I promise you'll like it, whenever he finds his way.
But it really stinks in here.
It's a good thing I can't smell.
With my familiar shit bit.
Good thing I can't smell, you guys look gross.
What's wrong with you?
Thank you, Banana Fulfarin.
Is that, I think you said it wrong.
I probably did, I clicked off of it and I did it from memory.
I think it's Banana Fana Fulfarin.
Yes.
B5Fo.
Hey.
Faren.
Me.
That's you.
D.
The Cursed Caravan uses straight marks and slash our copyright.
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Used under Paizo's Community Use Policy.
Hey, Paizo.
Let's link up.
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The Cursed Caravan is not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo.
For more information about Paizo Inc. and Paizo products, visit Paizo.com.
Thanks.
Thank you, Paizo.
The Cursed Caravan theme music and the beat you're hearing right now is written by our
own, our very own, the one that we own, Matthew.
You belong to us.
Oh, just feed me, take care of me, keep me happy.
As far as the music that you hear while we're playing the game, all the cool, crazy ambiance,
that's Michael Guelphie.
We would like to thank Michael Guelphie.
The world reference for Tabletop.
Golly.
We would like to thank Michael Guelphie Studios, the world reference for Tabletop RPG audio
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Leave us a comment like BananaFanaFofAaron and rate us five stars on your podcast app
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Spotify also allows you to rate and leave comments.
So do that and we'll read your comments like we did with BananaFanaFofAaron.
Uh, 114.
I can't remember.
It's been weeks ago.
It's there.
I wish I remembered their name.
And, um, and they commented more and Emma's friend that's a fan of me.
Thanks, Emma.
I appreciate it.
Um, so yeah, comment.
And, uh, all of our contact information is in the description.
Thanks for being a traveler on the cursed caravan.
We are cursed and we are a caravan.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
Bye.
How did you get them out of the darkness?
What the hell?
Why are they here?
Edgrin's name.
That's funny.
I was like, Ooh.
Did you call him Edwin?
I think I said Edgrin.
Okay.
Yeah.
I said Edgrin.
That's funny that his name is there.
Yeah.
I just had them in the dark.
I was like, Ooh.
Have them step on the traps.
The whole party's here.
Mr. Scarab, we're friends.
Oh no.
Come on.
Don't you want to know what the trap does?
Let's get a little step.
I see it.
It's pretty cool.
Imagine it slides forward, stabs you, slowly slides back.
You lack imagination, sir.
It's cooler.
Oh, yes.
Edgrin, come here.
Step on it.
Edgrin, come here.