Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, our heroes finally found the remains of Druengar
the Glintax, his bones and equipment suspended in the Jelly Cube.
The group decided to head back to Falcon's Hollow for a much needed rest, and to inform
the Sheriff of their find.
Lonei then had a dream about her time working in the Absalom Library and recalls an old
wizard reading about Druengar.
The next day our heroes returned to the depths of Droskar's Crucible and murdered more Kobolds.
Rupemore was able to knock the leader unconscious, and shortly after they heard a voice in the
next room call out to everyone.
Our story continues now!
As the sounds of battle dissipate, and you find yourself now quietly standing over an
unconscious white Kobold, you take a moment, look around, take in your surroundings.
Find yourself in a disheveled cafeteria, tables overturned, several dead Kobolds lay
where they have been slain by you.
But in the back left corner, the southwest corner of this room, you see several more
dead Kobolds.
Their bodies impaled by random kitchenware, spoon and knife, several forks, even the splintered
remains of a barrel lay at the feet of these carcasses.
And as you look around, you hear from that corner, a small and somewhat scared voice
call out, friend or foe?
Hey, someone go check on that noise!
I'm gonna keep my eyes on this one.
As Garib says, standing over the body of the white Kobold.
Oh, gladly!
Rupemark goes towards the sound of the voice.
We are steps on top of one of these bodies and looks to see where the sound is coming
from.
As you approach the edge of the wall there, you see there's just an opening.
Perhaps there was once some sort of swivel door there, but they've been torn down and
cast aside.
As you peek your head past the opening, a fork whizzes past your head, clattering onto
the concrete behind you.
Don't come any closer!
Friend or foe?
Wow, you killed all these Kobolds with kitchenware?
That's amazing.
Uh, friend?
I like to start off as friend.
What's your name?
Rootmore Redmayne, and yours?
I'm Edgrin.
Edwin Gale-song.
Clearly you sing music, Edwin Gale-song.
Edgrin?
Edgrin.
Oh.
Come on out.
And Rootmore, he shows that he's putting his hammer back in his belt.
I don't want to go back.
Go back where?
To the cages.
I don't want to be a prisoner.
Wait.
Are there other prisoners here?
Yes.
Two more.
You're safe with us.
Can you tell us where the other prisoners are?
Do I have your word that you'll help me get out?
Of course.
I mean, you did show a little aggression towards me, but I understand.
There's silly kobolds running around here, but nope.
See no reason why we can't bring you back to Falcon's Hollow.
Roamy diplomacy.
Oh good.
Let me get my dice out.
Shit.
What an amateur.
Oh, amateur.
Rootmore.
Dice out.
Woohoo.
Rootmore.
What's my character sheet saying?
Rootmore's rolling.
Diplo Massey.
Yes.
Rootmore's ready for adventure.
Hell yeah.
Since I'm an Oathkeeper, Dwarf, I get plus two on my diplomacy to convince others you
speak the truth when you are telling the truth.
Give me a roll and then roll play it.
It's a plus nine.
Fart knuckle.
Fifteen diplomacy.
That's great.
Roll play.
That's perfect.
That's a really good roll.
Like a really good roll.
Fifteen's pretty good.
I mean, fun pasta.
It's like actually pretty good.
Yeah.
So what do you tell him to make him feel like he can trust you?
Yeah, he sheathes his hammer.
He steps out into the open as if, you know, just showing, not hiding behind cover, even
though he threw a fork at me.
He steps into the hallway and has his hands up showing that he's not doing any funny business.
You're safe with us.
We're actually here trying to rescue people.
As you can see, these kobolds are all dead.
Nile will peek her head around the corner, covered in stone.
Both of you now can see a small, very dirty halfling with long blonde hair.
He has panic on his face, smudged with grease and God knows what.
His hand is held above his head and you see several sharp and dangerous looking kitchen
utensils hovering above his hand.
And as you speak, he replies, I want to believe you.
I believe you.
And he lowers his hand and all of the spoons and knives and forks and what have you clatter
to the ground.
Demon kill it!
Rootmore pulls out his last sausage and he looks at it and debates on giving it away.
He looks hungry.
What's up, Monet?
I just imagine when he dropped them because Monet has her elements channeled, so she's
pulling towards her bits of metal and stone that they just slide across the floor to her.
That's not intimidating at all.
Rootmore takes one step forward and here, this is my last link.
My last delicious hot dog.
You seem hungry.
A look of surprise immediately hits his face and he rushes towards you and greedily takes
the sausage, scarfing it down in an instant.
I need to roll, see how good it is and get the cat out of my dice roll.
She just got up here and just curled in the fucking dice roll.
It's her bed.
13 on the die plus 18.
We see small tears begin to stream from the side of this hobbit's face, this half-leaf's
face.
The sausages make everybody cry.
Exactly what I was just thinking.
Oh, Mr. Rootmore, that's the nicest thing I've eaten in quite some time.
We'll get you out of here.
I feel like it's probably time to step out anyway.
I don't know what happened to the other two.
We tried to escape.
We left when the guards changed, thought we could slip by, but we bumped into a patrol
and then we scattered.
How long have the other two been down here?
Less than I have.
Mr. Barliss was dragged down here just two days prior and the other one, Mr. Colbran,
just yesterday.
One of those is the butcher.
I can't remember.
Is it the first one you said?
Barliss is the hunter that we were sent to look for and Colbran is the town butcher.
Do you have any idea?
Because this is very important to get them back home safely.
Do you have any idea what direction they went?
Speak!
Lives are on the line!
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
When I was brought here, my party, we were trying to avoid Falcon's Hollow because, well,
you know, the reputation of the town isn't too kind.
So we were going to skirt it, go north.
We were trying to reach the mountains to seek fame and fortune and we were ambushed by kobolds.
They quickly overwhelmed us, all except for me and my party's wizard.
But then they took us, knocked us unconscious.
I don't even know how to get out.
We were dragged to the lower levels.
All I know is that below there's a great series of caves winding all about.
It's a damn maze.
Lower than where we are now?
Yes.
Oh, heaven's sake.
My friend, they sacrificed him.
Oh, god.
Some sort of ritual said that the crown deserved the blood of their enemies.
So I did what I do best and I picked up my loot.
He gestures to a shattered loot still hanging limply from his waist.
I played my heart and soul out I did, Mr. Rootmore, and I made them know that I was
entertaining and then they kept me.
Said I was to be the king's pet and if I was a friend, then I wasn't right for sacrifice.
Is this halfling like an adult halfling or a kid halfling?
An adult.
Via like mid-twenties, if you were human.
With preservation, that's very smart.
You did a good thing.
I'd almost given up hope.
Just day in, day out, dragging me out, having me play or sing or whatever it is to keep
them entertained until the other two.
At first with Barliss, I was already trying to plan my escape.
He was more familiar with the outer wilds, you see, and so he was confident if we could
get out that he could lead us back.
But then the next day when Cobran came, we thought we actually had a chance and we tried.
Not two hours ago.
When we scattered though, I don't know if even they made it out of the caves.
I don't know if they made it as far as I did.
I don't even know if they're alive, Mr. Rootmore.
Monet, Scarab, should we look for these two now or bring the halfling back?
I'm sorry, you're going to have to speak up.
So what's going on in there?
Scarab, come here.
Monet will make herself clear and she will step forward.
I'm picking up some of the forks from the ground.
Now we will do our best to get you out of here.
There is no promise that we can.
It is quite dangerous, as you can tell, but I do need you to know that we do have a kobold
with us.
Mr. Rootmore, look out!
There's a sentient statue right behind you!
He plays along.
A fork bounces off your stove's skin.
No, she's front.
This is Monet.
The river smashes her head.
I'm playing along!
This is Monet, the door crusher.
Very strong.
I've never met a door crusher.
You have now?
Are you listening?
We have a kobold with us and he is friendly.
Hurry up, assholes!
Oh, that was...
I thought you were talking about the one we knocked out.
No.
I haven't had a chance to hogtie him yet.
He can get up any moment.
Rootmore's gonna go over there and help him tie the guy up.
I'm frozen here for some reason and I can't do anything!
Where is your...
Oh, okay.
Oh yeah, you, for some reason when we loaded in, you were outside the map.
I was on peg.
Oh, I got you.
I moved you back.
I don't know why you don't...
We should be able to move you.
I did.
Okay.
Do you understand what I'm telling you?
It's not that white one, is it?
Well, so we do have that white one.
He's unconscious and that's who the other kobold you just heard was talking about hogtieing.
But we have a gold...
A golden kobold.
He is with us and he is one of us that will help you as much as we possibly can again.
Is he a good person, Mr. Rootmore?
Rootmore ran over to help hogtie the white kobold.
He's peeking out from the kitchen asking you.
Oh.
Yeah, sassy's fine.
Come on out.
The room's cleared.
He scurries past and stands next to Mr. Rootmore.
I'd like to check this room.
Sure.
He gives a swift kick to the unconscious white one.
Very good.
I'm sure he deserves it.
You are looking at what must have once been a very nice, well-appointed kitchen, but that
has suffered from neglect.
Much like the rest of the place that you've explored so far, there's a fairly thick layer
of dust, barring the now open spaces cleaned away by the flung kitchenware.
There are shelves covered in broken stone and other refuse lines the walls.
Across the room you can see an old rusty cauldron that rests in the ashes of an ancient fire.
What's in it?
Peering into the old rusted cauldron, you can see a thin layer of residue that still
remains, though other than this, nothing else is inside.
Can I do a crafting check on it?
Sure.
No, I can't.
Don't have crafting?
No.
Okay.
She will join the others.
Do you want to, you can look around the room more if you want.
Yeah, it...
With a perception check.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, let me do that.
Roll your eye muscles.
Natural one, so she'll just go ahead and join everyone else.
There you go.
Uh-oh!
That's the wrong one.
You failed your perception!
Glad those dice let me know what they're doing today already.
So you guys are tying up the white one?
Yes.
We're hog-tying and taking all of his weapons away.
Okay.
And, Cody, I understand now, the joke was that everybody left before we hog-tied him,
so Skerb's there in limbo like, oh shit!
Oh shit!
We haven't done these actions!
I can't fucking do anything!
I got you.
Because it's so easy for a DM to be like, and now back to Skerb.
He gets up!
He starts running around the room!
Now get back here, please!
He starts running around the room.
Picks up a bunch of one-off mushrooms.
No!
Wee, wee, wee!
They've only had a chance to tie him!
Dig through his pockets.
If he has any.
Uh, yes.
So as Skerb is running around the room, he's trying to get the
key.
He has a set of leather armor on him.
Around his waist you see a jingling set of keys.
And the strange weapon that he was wielding is a flying talon.
Hello.
What do you do?
I bet you that's a dex weapon.
Which no good to me.
It is a set of three clawed hooks on the end of a chain that one whirls above their head,
flinging it out.
I can see Skerb using that riding pig and just swinging that thing in.
How is that possible?
How do I even find it?
I think you could search by name.
There it is.
And as you inspect this, you can actually see that it is engraved with a plus one rune.
Yeah, Skerb would like to pick it up.
If everyone's cool with it.
Oh, yes.
Let me see if it's even any good on me.
Should be as a dex weapon.
It's a finesse.
I believe it has a trip, ranged trip, tethered, thrown.
Maybe not though.
I think.
Yeah, I only get a plus four to hit with it.
What's your dex?
Three.
Like, everything else I get a plus eight.
I'm not trained.
Yeah, I'm not trained.
It's a, is it an exotic weapon?
Uncommon.
Ah, gotcha.
So maybe someday.
I would like to, you know, unless someone else wants to use it, it's not the biggest
damage or anything, but I could probably sell it pretty good.
Or we can move the rune, right?
You could pay to have the rune transferred.
Let's do that.
Let me, let me toss it to somebody that wants it.
Rootmore?
A spiky weapon?
Yeah, for the, for the rune.
For the rune?
Oh, it's called a flying talon.
I can hold on to it.
It's also a thrown weapon.
It's thrown and it's tethered, which means after you throw it, you can yank it back to
yourself.
Ranged trip.
Yeah.
Which is pretty cool.
Pretty cool weapon.
Yeah, I'm just.
No good on me right now.
Probably ever, I think.
I think the, the way that I'm going, it's, it's going to be guns or not.
Yeah, it's kind of the caveat with gunslinger.
It's like you get proficiency on par with fighters, but only in that one thing.
Just right there, yeah.
Which is fine.
Plus one flying talon.
Fancy.
How's your dex, Monet?
My dex.
Cause it could be cool.
I actually have.
At least for trail.
Yeah.
I don't know if you'd be proficient with it, but you could look real quick.
Yeah, I'm trained in everything except advanced weapons.
So you don't need, you don't need to know anything to fire a gun.
Point and click adventure.
Yeah.
That's an episode title right there.
Click adventure.
It's not great.
Not for you.
It's okay.
What's your, what's your to hit with it?
Plus three.
Oh, fuck.
It's the advanced weapons.
I was going to say, cause even if it doesn't do damage, the trip function is pretty cool.
I think it'd probably be more at home on a monk.
Yeah.
Or a fighter.
Yeah.
I mean gladiator type character.
It's a plus eight to hit with route more.
Yeah.
If I can take it.
And when we get a chance, move that, move that run around.
It's like the, uh, the clause you use to pull apart pork.
Yeah.
So when you throw it, is it still, can you pull it back or do you have to go retreat?
It's on a chain.
So like the way it works is it's talons on a chain.
You swing it above your head, you throw it at something.
It sticks into them and you can yank it back.
It's yeah.
It's literally Betty from Kung Pao.
Exactly.
So I believe the tether trait means that you don't have to like spend an action for it.
It's a thrown weapon that doesn't disappear when you throw it.
Yes.
I'm looking at it right here.
That's exactly what it is.
Yup.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Even, even if you've been disarmed, uh, you can bring it back with an interact action.
Mm hmm.
Even when disarmed.
I need to, yeah, I need to keep that in mind because that's just a really cool offhand
weapon.
Yeah.
It's like it's attached to you or something.
Yeah.
The picture of him is swirling it above his head.
That's so cool.
So Rootmore grabbed the flying talon and the leather armor.
What was the third thing?
Uh, a set of keys on a key ring.
You better if you all grab the keys.
I'll take the keys.
Looking over the keys, any signifiers to what they might be used for?
Uh, as you look them over and as the halfling kicks the kobold, he sneers down at the unconscious
body.
That's Ygric.
He's the jailer.
Sorry, sod.
Oh, he is now the jailed.
And with that description, you imagine those are a set of jailer's keys.
So we have a decision to make.
Do we return to town or push forward?
I'm trying to remember.
Is this the one thing we've done since we came, went back to town last time?
I think so.
And the slime as well.
Yes.
No, you haven't gone back to town since you came down here, right?
No, we went to town.
We did.
After the...
Yeah, you're right.
After the slime.
After the gelatinous cube because that was...
Because that was Druidgar.
Because Monet had to.
We all had to.
Well, small and scaled one.
What do you know about the world?
Or more importantly, would this one confess to stealing from Falcon's Hollow?
I don't want to go back to town.
Was it Kobold?
If we don't have proof...
We do have a witness.
It's very true.
He is a witness to the other two prisoners.
I don't know about you, Mr. Kobold, but where I come from, we have manners and we introduce
ourselves with names first.
Oh, right.
Sorry, I was in adventuring mode.
I don't remember my name.
What is my name?
I am Shabunga Grizzowapa Fondad, but you can call me Scarab and this is my shit.
My story's gone.
What do you know of that?
You, what's your name?
Well, Mr. Scarab, I'm Edgrin and he tentatively holds out a hand.
Sure.
Scarab bows slightly and puts out a hand.
After shaking your hand.
Well, to answer your questions first, I don't know, but I would think based on what happened
to my friend that they're trying to sacrifice people for the crown.
And I don't remember your second question.
What crown?
Well, that would be the crown of these beasts King, King Merlocrep.
King Merlocrep.
Interesting.
Is this where they reside or are they just temporarily here?
I don't know.
They're here now.
All I know is me and Tyran, we were good as dead.
I resigned myself to that.
And then when they sacrificed him, Tyran, I knew I needed to do whatever I had to do
to survive.
So like I said, I played my heart out, played my loot and they kept me as a pet.
All I know is they didn't want to after that.
Said that I was a pet and not only the blood of the enemies would satiate the crown.
Well, you're safe now.
Do you know of any safe rooms down here that maybe you can hide in while we find the other
prisoners?
No.
Simple.
Back in the cell, we locked the cell.
We have the keys.
Did we find cells down here?
We did when we first entered.
Where?
There were some up top.
Upstairs.
Where the skeletons were.
Oh, those.
I feel like there's a different set of cells down here.
Well, let's ask him.
Glares at the halfling.
Where are your cells?
Where was your cell?
He sort of spins around for a moment as if trying to orient himself.
I don't know.
Down below in the caves.
I just ran and kept running and running until they cornered me in that kitchen.
You almost made it out.
We're close?
Oh, yes.
Very close.
I haven't seen any of this floor.
When they brought me here, I was unconscious.
Knocked out with iron.
When I woke, I was in the caves below.
I mean, it's pretty bad up there too.
If you can guide me to the entrance, I could, I think, maybe make it back to Falkensolo.
We're pretty good at not being seen, us halflings.
But I could come with you.
I don't have any weapons or armor.
But if you could outfit me, I could come with you.
Nudges at the leather armor?
Just so happens.
I don't have leather armor and this crazy chain hand.
We don't know how to use that, Mr. Rootmore.
You can use a composite shortbow.
Do you know how to use a short sword?
I'm not the best, but I could use one.
Stick him with the podium.
What is your class?
What class are you?
He pulls up his tattered lute and twangs what few strings remain.
It sounds terrible now.
He should probably use a shortbow.
I'm a bard.
Wow.
Hey, let me see that twanger you have there that's broken.
Maybe I can...
Twanger?
Maybe I can fix a string or two on it.
Could you?
He holds it up to you.
Scarab.
Scarab's going to dig through his bag and pull out a sling and 20 pellets.
Okay.
I know what halflings use.
Tosses those over to you.
He takes it and gives it an experimental whirl.
I could make do with this.
Very good.
Also I have a few fair spells left that I could cast, but not too many.
All right.
Let me see this lute you have here.
Crafting...
17.
I can aid with that if you would like.
Oh yes please.
I don't like my roll.
I aid.
Unfortunately you cannot repair a destroyed item.
Oh it's destroyed.
It is literally split into held only together by two of the strings.
Damn.
We'll have to get you a new one.
Oh, Mr. Rootmoor.
Had to smash it over a kobold's head on my way.
You're probably alive because of that.
Good decision.
I am holding two peepees.
One of them's mine.
The cat during the week likes to play with them and it was...
I found it on the ground.
Do you have your bubble?
There it is.
I knew I had it.
I just didn't know where.
Now Halfling, I've been playing with the sling for a bit since I picked it up.
If you got a heavy enough stone in there and you swing it fast enough it'll make a nice
little tune.
Give it a shot.
Go on, idiot, faster!
The sling opens and one of the pellets flies across the room, scattering on the wall.
Ha ha!
Perfect!
I don't think I can play this, though.
Oh, you little...
Small...
Imagination!
Can you sing?
I can sing.
Do that.
That's pretty good, then.
Did you hear me singing earlier?
No.
Ah.
But I'm sure, Mr. Rootmoor, that it was beautiful.
Oh, it was very beautiful.
Can you show us?
There, once was a ship put put to sea.
The horse starts clapping and stomping his foot.
There's no time!
It's not really my style.
It's pretty neat, but yes, you are correct.
There is no time.
We need to move and listen.
What was your name again?
His name is Elgrin.
Edgrin.
No heroics.
Stay behind us.
Stay safe.
I'll try to stay out of sight, Mr. Rootmoor.
Very good.
And I...
Not ashamed to admit, if push comes to shove, I'm afraid I'll have to slip away and try
on my own.
Understand.
I won't go back in those cages.
Understand.
If anyone requires healing, I could do that as well.
Stay in your lane.
Better than any Taurag follower, I'd wedger.
Rootmoor Geralt's hammer.
If you do get separated from us, head back to Falcon's Hollow and we will find you there.
If I get separated, which direction should I aim?
You want to go in this area?
Go to the south.
Keep running south.
It'll lead you to a stairwell that leads to the surface.
I won't have to worry about any patrols or that awful, fearsome warg.
If you find a room that is a circle, don't go in it.
You will die.
You ignored his question.
Look, guys.
Scarab holds you two closer.
Group meeting.
You understand.
We could let him go.
Sure, I want him to be free, have his life, all of that.
But we need to get the cop off the stand.
Yes.
Letting him go.
Halfling.
Sneaky.
You ever see Lord of the Rings?
Bilbo just disappears from his own party.
You think we should tie him up?
I think we should stick with him.
I don't give him weapons to run away.
Give him weapons to help us.
Very good, yes.
If he's going to run, I want my weapon back.
He is a witness.
That's how I feel.
We go together?
Either way.
Forward or backwards together.
Yes.
You will stay with us.
And you will stay behind us.
You will stay safe.
And you will carry the White Cobalt.
Just kidding.
I mean, we could take him back.
Either way.
He's a witness.
This is true.
If he dies here, then we don't have anyone.
You're right.
I vote to go back.
There's no guarantee that the other two are alive.
No.
Yes, we're in no shape to try to protect someone and make sure someone else doesn't get away.
So yeah.
Side back.
We do.
Cody, monologues.
Scarab throws the White Cobalt on the back of Pig.
Give me one second.
Sorry.
I was putting together a character sheet.
Okay, well, you guys had your group meeting.
What do you want to tell him?
Because he was away from the meeting, not listening to you.
We've decided.
Root more?
Tell him.
Yes, we are going back to Falcon's Hollow right now.
But what about the other two?
We'll come back for them.
Unless you want to go down here with us.
I mean, not necessarily, but if they weren't so fortunate, as I was to bump into you or
to be able to hold up, I had my spells to be able to help me, Mr. Rootmore.
But the other is just a butcher.
And the third, he's a hunter, sure, but with no weapons.
They're probably already dead.
Oh, Monet.
I'm just being realistic.
Fair enough.
Let's go.
To pose a good point, the only problem we have is he gestures towards our captive.
We don't want him getting away.
Don't misunderstand me, Mr. Rootmore.
I want out of here more than anything.
But it don't feel right, knowing what I know, seeing what I saw them do to Tyrant, for those
two to fall the same feet.
I've changed my mind.
We should stay.
What if I tell you that your testimony of what you saw down here, this man, your jailer,
the butcher was taken from Falcon's Hollow.
He was taken from that town that we plan on taking you back to.
And as we speak right now, the sheriff of that town is being held against his will,
waiting for death.
And your testimony could save his life.
And I'd be happy to give it, but to do my life to save another.
Sometimes that's what's...
No, Monet, his friends are down here.
You go back for friends.
I mean, friends.
Yes, enough.
He doesn't really know them.
Not really friends.
Knowing what I've heard about the Creed's...
So you want to go to town or what?
I'm getting mixed signals here.
We should stay.
Knowing what you've told me about the Creed, Scarab, we should probably have the butcher
with us.
Because like the sheriff said, they've been trying to take him down for a long time.
And even though I consider this good enough, they may not see it as good enough without
bringing proof of the butcher back.
Of course.
I agree.
My life's on the line here too.
Yes.
We should push forward.
Maybe try to think.
The kitchen, does it have a door or is it just open?
It is just open.
Damn.
Don't even bother, Rootmore.
There's nothing in there.
Oh, okay.
Oh, Mr. Rootmore.
Good to hear.
I just remembered.
And he runs back towards the kitchen.
That's right, you're all the natural one.
Good roleplay.
And here, Mr. Rootmore.
Oh, what is this?
Walking back into the kitchen, he's trying to reach a cabinet that's above where he can
reach.
Rootmore also tries to reach a cabinet he can't reach.
Give me a boost.
All right, here comes a boost.
Let's roll for it.
It'll be fun.
Athletics.
13.
Yeah, so he climbs up, scrambles up your back and onto your shoulders, his hairy feet right
next to your face.
Oh, gross.
Hold me steady, Mr. Rootmore.
And he opens the cabinet and pulls out a long slender box and you hear the clinking of glass.
And he sets it on the counter in front of him and then hops down.
Oh, what have you found here?
Cracks the box open.
I don't know what the bottles do, but found them when I ran in here first.
And as you crack open the cache, there are a series of multicolored brews in bottles.
Wow.
Good find.
Can I just be one of those?
Can I just be one of those annoying players really quick?
What's up?
Isn't this a isn't this a dwarven temple?
Why are the cabinets so high?
Well, only half a half length.
He should have been able to reach.
He's the one who said he was reaching to.
I imagine they're about the same height.
I don't know.
I haven't looked it up exactly.
I think you'd be like half a foot taller.
I think that's the thing is like halflings are like three feet and then dwarves are like
three and a half or four feet.
I don't remember dwarves are pretty, pretty tall in the cache are three distinct bottles
of different colors, one of them a very slim tube with a silvery looking liquid inside,
another with a bright blue liquid and the other a very peaceful looking green.
Crafting check.
Sure.
Go ahead and roll for all of them if you want.
Right.
Shit.
Seven.
I don't know what these are.
I don't think they're very useful.
Anyone else?
25.
Oh, hell yeah.
Okay, scarab looking them over.
These are mutagens and elixirs.
The blue one is a eagle eye elixir.
The green a moderate serine mutagen and the silver a moderate silver tongue mutagen.
Have you all I found the eagle eye.
I wouldn't mind taking that one.
Take it.
Just helps you find a secret doors and traps better for an hour.
Yes, you get an item bonus to deception, diplomacy, intimidation and performance checks.
Your critical failures become failures instead.
But you take a minus two penalty to arcana, crafting, lore, occultism and society checks.
And one skill in which you are trained, you become untrained in that skill for the duration.
Failure checks on recall knowledge become crit fails.
Anybody want that?
The silver tongue mutagen?
Bonus is the diplomacy.
I think you might need that buddy.
Okay.
We'll take that.
Yeah, I have a plus zero to diplomacy.
So it gives a plus two to basically all charisma checks and a minus two to intelligence checks
for recall knowledge.
Did you guys find the serene one as well?
That one gives bonuses to will saves and perception as well as will based checks and a minus to
attack roles and DCs of offensive spells and plus one per damage die to all weapon unarmed
attack and spell damage.
It gives an additional bonus to will saves pertaining to mental effects as well.
And scarab you're taking the eagle eye?
Yeah.
Unless somebody wants it.
I just figured since we're going down here, it's worth 12 gold if nobody wants it.
I mean, it sounded like that was good for a mage, right?
Or for magic users.
The serene one?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a plus two to will saves, perception checks, medicine, nature, religion and survival
checks.
And if you were attempting a will save against a mental effect, it becomes a plus three.
The drawback is you take a minus one to attack roles and save DCs of offensive spells and
minus one penalty per damage die to all weapon unarmed and spell damage.
So something does 66, it's 66 minus six.
And the duration on all of these is 10 minutes.
Now the eagle eyes has an hour.
Nice.
Nevermind.
I can't see myself using it.
Yeah, it's good.
I'm going to sell it.
Money's good too.
So 12 gold or I guess six gold.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's 12.
So sell for six.
This is a good fight.
Very good.
Should we push north?
Yeah.
Find that purple cobalt.
He threw a knife at me.
Little asshole.
I'll check this north door for traps.
Actually did we?
Did we check this cafeteria room at all?
I don't think we did.
There doesn't seem to be anything else of interest in here aside from a few overturned
tables.
Very good.
The Kobolds do have their equipment, although they're using the same shoddy spears that
they had in the first room.
And each of them is also equipped with a sling with 10 bullets each on the two that you killed.
Edwin, gather all those bullets.
Sorry.
We'll pause for a long time looking at equipment and forgot your name again.
Edgrin.
Edrick.
Edgrin.
I'm going to say it five times.
Edgrin.
It's there.
I see it on roll 20, but it is so small it's hard to read.
If it's easier for you, Mr. Rootmore, you can also call me Galesong.
Galesong.
That's very pretty.
I like that.
Thank you.
There's a-
Gale's a beautiful word.
Sure.
He'll go around and collect the bullets and the slings.
Very good.
I'll check this northern door for traps.
So should I shoot this guy in the foot or what?
Yeah, he is tied.
That's a-
Hog tied.
Hog tied and unconscious.
But I'll shoot him.
No, he's been hurt enough.
We don't want him bleeding out.
That's correct.
Let's- we'll leave him right here in this room.
Clear what's happening up front here.
Once we clear it, we'll drag him into the next room.
Is there anything that's heavy and either stuck to the ground or just something to then
tie him to one of these big benches?
Yeah, there's a bunch of big tables and benches.
If they're heavy, I don't want him dragging plastic benches around.
Definitely not plastic.
No, the benches seem to be made of a heavy oak.
Only one of them is overturned and you imagine that it was done so in order to create a barrier
between the projectiles coming out of the kitchen.
We could also stuff him in that cauldron and stack stuff on top of him or put him in a
cabinet and put stuff in front of it.
Or you could shove him into the kitchen and barricade the door with these tables maybe.
Is anyone strong enough to do that?
I'm pretty strong.
Hell yeah, go for it.
Yes.
The three short people all look up to the tall lady.
Rubemore's not that strong, he just says that.
My pride is very strong.
We'll toss him in the kitchen and barricade the opening.
You could help you scoot stuff around.
Pigs got a plus three.
Okay, so you take about 20 minutes or so and you have the tables turned on their sides
blocking the only door into that kitchen, leaving the unconscious kobold behind.
It's doubtful that anyone would even know he's in here.
And if they were, it would take quite a few kobolds to pull the tables away.
Well, yeah, never mind.
It's all close stuff.
Yeah, perfect.
Very good.
I'm sure he won't get away.
Yeah, it should be fine.
I will check this door to the north for traps where this purple kobold ran.
21.
The thin and light door hangs on a swivel hinge.
And as you inspect it, it doesn't appear to be trapped and it would give easily if you
push it.
Staring down the narrow hallway about 40 feet ahead of you is a set of heavy double doors.
The hallway seems to curve off to the right about 20 feet before them.
Scarab, which way did he go?
I don't know, I couldn't see that far.
A scarab will sneak to the hall down the hall to take a look around that corner.
Please.
Oh, please.
We got a 17 for stealth.
Okay, peek around the corner and you can see to the east about 60 feet.
The hallway seems to continue to the east and you can see the beginnings of an opening
on the northern portion of the wall about 50 feet or so away from you.
Okay, first things first, I don't think I did.
I'm going to hunt prey on the purple kobold and then wave the others up to me.
Seems clear down this hall, but there's another set of doors.
Hey, go north or take a right.
Can I attempt to track prey?
Yeah.
That's just a perception, right?
Yeah, perception to find tracks, survival to follow.
25.
Why are you licking the floor?
Looking for a purple taste.
Through a head load of the ground, you actually can make out what appear to be fresh claw
marks in the stone as if something with long talons was rushing down the hallway.
They veer sharply around the corner to the east.
He's gone this way to the right.
Follow.
Might as well chase him down or moves forward.
Before he follows.
Before he follows the doors ahead of us, do they look special?
The doors to the north appear to be of strong stone construction, depicting dwarven guardians
on either door, and they are embellished with dwarven runes.
Below the large protective looking figures on the door are several smaller depictions
of dwarves in various stages of grief.
Damn, this looks pretty cool.
Scarab's gonna follow you guys.
It's all very pretty.
I can't wait to archaeologize the place.
Before we continue on, Monet's gonna cast Earth Armor on herself again.
Re-channel her elements, because it's definitely been more than ten minutes.
Yeah, Scarab's gonna look down the barrel and make sure he's got a bullet in there.
If there isn't, he'll reload it.
Routoir reloads his hammer.
Very good.
Peek down this north hallway.
And get over here by me, quickly.
Let's go Gale song.
Okay.
Peering to the north is a short hallway that ends in a set of double doors.
As you round the quarter, you hear a horrific screech that sounds like a kobold in surprise
and great pain.
Coming from the north, behind the doors.
Maybe it's the other two fighting back.
Rootmore runs to these doors.
Anisle will follow.
Scarab's gonna see how this plays out.
Monet will follow.
I don't think he would stop to check for traps, he's just gonna open this door.
I hate myself.
Why?
Because I just said the wrong name.
You said Monet.
Or you said Monet the second time.
What'd you say the first time?
I said Nile.
Who's Nile?
It's my Baldur's Gate character.
Guys, start calling me by my last name.
What's my last name?
It's Nile.
It's not.
For problems with addiction, call this 1-800 number.
God damn it dude.
That is like the third time I've done it tonight.
Damn.
Yeah, let's do this.
Okay, as you rush forward and burst open the doors, you see a gruesome sight.
Slamming open the doors, you see a large stone room before you.
Rusted chain hooks hang from the ceiling.
Two slabs in the center of the room, made of stone covered in dried blood and a drain
on the floor to collect it paints this room in a rather gruesome light.
The source of the scream is now made evident as you see a still twitching kobold on one
of the stone slabs surrounded by three dwarven ghouls.
What?
Their skin drawn tight, worn gray through time, their beard in scragles as their teeth,
nails and fingers have elongated, making their wide yet emaciated frames horrific.
Long tongues lull down as they tear into this kobold, his chest splayed and his organs hang
out obscenely over the side.
As the slamming of the door occurs, the three heads whip in your direction, fresh blood
slavering down their mouths and all three ghouls howl and pounce.
And that's the end of our story today.
Monet, are these jellies?
I don't think so, Rootmore.
That's gross.
That's scary.
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Can I say, can I say some things?
This is just me talking to my friends about how my brain has been rotted by Baldur's Gate.
Oh.
Because just as we're walking around in here and then Cody said it was a library, it was
just making me think of it's just the walk around dialogue and Gail's like, where's the
nearest library?
And I'm just like, hee hee hee.
Or when we were coming in and Rootmore was just being all loud and crazy, I was like,
shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times, which is another dialogue that they
say just as they're walking around.
My favorite ambient walking dialogue is from, from Kayden Elenko of Mass Effect.
Big place.
That's my favorite.
Is that on Vermeyer?
No, it's the Citadel.
Big place.
Just every time you go downstairs where you can see the cars parking and stuff.
It's the asshole.
Wow.
Big place.
Yeah.
Space, you asshole.
Come on, bro.
You've been here with your goddamn migraines.
I like Baldur's Gate still, but my hands are cursed to touch everything because I loot
everything every time she says that I'm like, I'm sorry.
Fucking picking up rotten bananas.
I like the other characters too though, which is why now just in my everyday life I say
Mr. Rill.
I think of that one a lot too during the day.
He just says that randomly?
No, not.
That's like if you click on them whenever you're like in initiative.
Or like if you are doing something with them and you switch to them.
Gale also has whenever you make him, he hates sneaking.
So whenever you make him sneak, he'll say if I must.
I think that's funny too.
Or I'm not especially suited for this.
Yeah, why don't you go back to the library, asshole.
Hey, don't call him an asshole.
He can't hear me.
But I can.
Wow.