Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, our party searched north of the forge following
the retreating Kobold's tracks.
The heroes ran into a group of large rats feasting on a corpse in the hallway.
After dispatching the rats, they inspected the body and it was missing its head.
A note was found on the body and it spoke of a servant of the darksmith prowling the
halls and the note slowly fell into madness.
Moving north, Monet and Routemore became trapped in a circular room with an electric magnetic
device.
The device started activating and Monet saved Routemore by tossing him out of the room.
At the same time, two other doors opened and flying dismembered heads emerged and set upon
Monet.
The trapped room kept activating and the flying heads kept attacking, but Monet stood firm.
Finally, the doors opened and Monet was able to escape the room.
Our story continues now!
We're going to start off with a little theater of the mind here.
Just want you to close your eyes and picture complete dark.
We slow crawl forward, hovering a foot above the ground of an oppressively dark tunnel.
The tunnel is roughly four feet tall, four feet wide at a deceptively steep 50 degree
angle downward.
This tunnel was clearly creature made, with uneven footholds and strong claw marks laid
in floor, wall, and ceiling.
More into the tunnel, the small yet sturdy pings of metal hitting metal can be heard.
The metal becomes louder as we approach the end of the tunnel, which appears to open several
feet above a marbled granite floor.
The warm glow of firelight floods the room.
Just as we reach the exit, three small figures dash past and land hastily onto the floor.
We follow behind and enter a massive, ancient atrium of dwarven make.
Monoliths of unnameable dwarven gods tower up to four stories above the ground.
Titanic structural pillars stand strategically across the great hall and disappear far above
into untouched darkness.
The only light shed in the cavernous hall coming from a small torch jammed into the
wall near the tunnel entrance, and more importantly from the grand forge of Torag that demands
a large section of the room about twenty yards from the tunnel's hole.
A pool of molten magma fills a grand furnace that feeds from a moat of lava passing below
the forge.
A large bellows ready to be plunged, and a small, heartily familiar golden kobold yanks,
heaves, and pulls a large rectangular mold out from the fire onto a metal grate that
drips the excess into the moat below.
The three figures step forward and are revealed to be kobold as well.
Two green-scaled kobold trail behind another golden-scaled kobold.
Each don brown, roguish burlap and leather armors with an emerald green dragon head pauldron
on their right shoulders, large elven bows strapped to their backs.
The leading kobold shouts out to the forge-working kin,
Lord High Steward, perform that, by order of the king you are to return at once to the
battlements.
Jansalurkabulko!
Scarab-donning chainmail gloves pulls the chain free from the block used to heave it
from the fire.
He then jans a large, pointed metal rod into the crevice that lines the outer rim of the
mold.
Traps need to be laid, archanests need to be hung.
That role's intense for the visitor's army.
Visitors?
That's what you call the largest gnarly army in Golarion history?
Led by their king, Glortuk himself?
Yes.
He sent word they would need camp as they passed through the north.
They wish to kill orcs, so we'll be totally safe.
Nonsense!
They'll slaughter us!
Scarab turns away and hammers at the spike in the mold.
After a few clangs, he throws his weight at the spike and attempts to pry the box open.
He turns to the trio after a failed effort.
You two, here, now!
The two green-scaled kobold hastily comply, running at the mold, prying and clawing to
get it open.
It's crazy that he, the lord duke, warned us that he's gonna take the mountain.
Crazy more that Scales is going to let him.
It's an order from the king.
From the king?
Or the fey woman who whispers in his ear?
The trio of kobold manage to pry open the mold, and its lid makes a satisfying crash
onto the ground.
Inside the box is a large, hefty steel cannon, like that would be found on a warship.
Dwarven runes round its making circular bands down the shaft.
The trio roll the weighty weapon out of its socket and onto the granite floor, scuffing
the smooth marble.
I would hate to report your whereabouts to the king.
We've already taken the valuables from down here, there's nothing left but dust.
Kapuuko, brother.
You're a narc!
Now get over here and see what's more important than what the fey queen wants!
Scarrow begins emptying a vial of black powder into the cannon, followed by a large stone
ball that he shoves into its hole, full arm.
What are you doing, Shabunga?
Scarrow suits the cannon away from his compatriots, changing its trajectory, facing the scary
end towards the darkness of the grand hall.
He jams a torn cloth into the hole in the bulbous end of the weapon.
Okay, stand back, I think!
Small tufts of smoke exit Scarrow's nose and his mouth begins to glow as he releases
a small breath of fire at the cloth.
The blast's explosion echoes deafeningly through the cavernous space.
The cannon slams backwards into the wall, narrowly missing Scarob, the runes on its
body glow with a strong white light that slowly dissipates.
Off in the distance, one of the great dwarven statues explodes into massive chunks that
collide with the floor leaving craters.
The group of kobolds cheer in fiendish delight.
KRAAK!
An impact whips the dragon kin's attention towards the door, the four gasp and kneel
bowing their heads towards the shoddily dug tunnel where a mass rises from the short
fall.
Standing tall in the torchlight is a huge kobold, huge by kobold standards, easily clearing
the others by no less than two inches.
His body is covered in what seems to be a deliberate and hair-like moss, dark shades
of green growing in and around his scales.
Remnants of his golden heritage shine through the fringe.
A mohawk-like mane of crimson, unnatural hair grows from his head down his neck.
A twisted, spiked crown of hard wood rests between the two thick horns of bone that jut
firmly out from behind his ears.
His eyes burn a bright yellow that glows in the darkness of his cleft brows.
This great beast's presence is only made more demanding by the great spiked shell of a dragon
turtle that rests on his back, the bottom of the shell nearly scraping the ground as
the large kobold trudges staunchly forward.
The creature's voice booms out.
Shabunga krizoa bafondad, brother.
From behind the large figure, another falls from the hole and walks forward, staying shyly
behind the beast.
It's a female form whose body glows in ethereal green and white.
Skin seems to writhe and shift ever so slightly.
Lines, leaves, and skin morph in and out of ethereal form, their eyes devoid of light.
This presence brings a strange calm to the room.
I've been out at the battlements, preparing for our guests, but wouldn't you know it?
My right hand seems to have ceased working.
Scales, King!
The gnolls will have our hides when they learn of the wonders this mountain holds.
We're done for if we're here when they arrive!
This is where the Queen Mother wishes to take root, so it's here we will stay.
The gnoll will do as they wish, and we'll be here to guide them on their journey.
But brother, the Forge!
I've learned of new weaponry we can use to crush our enemies!
Why put traps on the mountain when we can launch the traps a mountain away?
The strange fae creature behind the King winces and shifts.
Its strange algae-like hair waves gently above its head, as if the creature were underwater.
Enough!
Lord High Steward, perform dad.
The Forge is off limits.
Queen Mother's orders.
King Glorduk will kill us!
Nature will take its course!
Come, all of you, to the battlements, now!
The other three quickly head past the King into the tunnel.
The King turns slowly and follows.
The fae creature after, a long curious glance at Scarab, floats gently up into the tunnel
after the dragon kin.
Scarab bows his head further with his eyes closed, tears well at the corner of his eyelids.
As you wish, King Cobalt.
Right behind you.
Scarab wipes a fallen tear off of his gun and loads one more round.
Is everyone okay?
I had singed.
Matthew, pee pee.
Yeah, that's it.
Wow, pee pee.
Thank you, Cody.
What happened, man?
What happened to you?
We'll see, I guess.
We'll see if he lives to tell some more backstory.
That's crazy.
So you broke some guys out of something?
He was working on something while other people came to look for him.
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
But you were working with other Cobalts, which is very weird.
That's very weird.
Yeah, he was a Lord High Steward to some King.
Man.
And we'll see if he lives to tell his tale.
Last time was bad.
Last time was pretty rough.
I don't remember.
I just remember being on the ground for half of it.
So was Rudy.
Right?
Rudy, you almost got pulled along the floor towards something before you got heaved out
of the room and the door shut behind you.
Yeah.
That was nuts.
Monet, I owe you my life.
I'll accept just a potion or some form of healing.
Oh, yes.
I don't think your life would do me much right now.
Oh, well, my life is connected to Torag.
I don't care, Rudy.
Oh, you should care.
Here is why.
She's like kind of like crouched down on the ground and her muscles are like twitching
as little like surges of electricity like go over her skin.
Yeah.
How low did you get?
Not super low.
She definitely took damage, though.
And Rootmore?
Actually, no, she didn't.
Never mind.
She didn't take any HP damage.
She only-
He stops casting heal then.
Well, it seems the trap for now has at least deactivated itself and you find yourself just
outside of the large iron doors, still open, a chamber full of bones and dented metal now
gathered at the base of this strange pylon in the middle of this rotunda.
You could move forward and deal with the trap again or you could turn around.
We have a trap disabling kit.
Let me look through my bag.
It would seem that this place is heavily trapped.
There's another option to the west.
Yeah, Scarab's digging through his stuff, looks to the west and says, sounds good, let's
go there.
All right.
Let's head down the hallway to the west.
Scarab is currently on Pig.
Hmm, well, it's a foggy room to the north and double doors and another hallway to the
west.
Now, there was another way from the entrance.
That's correct.
I'm trying to remember.
Did we see, we're still missing two kobolds, right?
Yeah.
That like-
One ran north, one ran east.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't know if we could keep chasing after those guys, but I have a feeling it's going
to lead us to very bad stuff.
Yes, I believe that's what they do.
They regroup.
I mean, I could just ask you, I guess, you're a kobold yourself.
Oh, I don't have any friend kobolds.
I don't know anything about their ways.
I heard what happened at the beginning of the episode.
You know.
Why are you making dwarven shit throw my hammer at you?
Demon!
An episode.
Are you okay, Rudy?
I'm having an episode right now.
Sounds like it.
And you're making me a part of it.
Well, I'm going to keep walking west if y'all don't say anything.
Let's westward bound.
Scarab in his trepidation and fear of gun exploding in his hand is going to stay in
the back against everyone else's will.
A completely rational fear.
Yeah.
I will walk forward searching for traps.
Just gotta say the same thing walking down the highway.
Highway.
HIGHWAY!
I'm gonna ride it all night long.
Ah, 27 perception.
Looking for traps in the hallway.
11.
19 for me.
26.
27.
That's a pretty good roll, man.
Oh yes.
You make your way down the dank and dripping stone hallway, stepping over rat carcasses
and the beheaded corpse of that strange elf fellow that you happened upon earlier.
Cool.
Before you find yourself at a three-way intersection.
To the south, the hall continues until it ends at a dead end, seeming to split in two
more directions.
To the north, you see another 60 feet before your vision fades into darkness.
And you can see no more.
Interesting.
Well.
Let's go south!
South, okay.
Another perception down the hallway.
Sprint.
Sprint into the darkness.
Screaming.
16.
Looking for traps.
20.
Listening.
For traps.
Well, actually, I would like to listen for a-
I'm a trap!
19 perception check.
Listening for-
You hear the bear trap as it clamps her under your feet.
I'm a trap!
That is a 21 for traps.
What?
Did you make that face?
Because I went-
Oh no.
I just looked up and I saw you like- just staring at me.
Because I was gulping and I went- and just immediately saw your face look up.
So we both thought the same thing.
I drank at the same time, too.
I was looking up from drinking.
You got a 21 was the highest?
I had a 21.
21.
Darny.
As you- I went ahead and reveal it, assuming you guys walked south to the intersection
there.
Yeah.
To the east, you see an opening and through the opening you can see the chipped away obsidian
obelisk that was in the room you first entered.
To the west, another set of double doors.
You detect no traps as you cautiously make your way through the darkness.
But you do hear almost like a- some sort of faint wet sound.
A noise beyond the already intermittent punctuated dripping of water throughout the tunnels.
You hear something else that seems to slide around in the darkness.
I hear something wet.
Monet.
Rootmore turns around zipping up his pants.
What'd you say?
Sorry, left the head at the end of the hallway.
You just gotta pull this in.
The old fire hose.
Knew I should've put on the codpiece.
Something else you notice is that in the hallway as you've walked south, you notice small scraps
of something discarded off to the side, as well as-
Tissues!
Stain of- Hard tissues!
What appear to be blood stains kind of dragged along the floor.
Not in heavy amounts, but in small streaks here and there.
Not in any way that seems to signify something being dragged through the hallway, but maybe
the idea that many small things have been dragged a short distance.
I share that information because I'm not even going to try to roleplay sharing that.
This is a bunch of chihuahuas that have butt worms.
Because of that.
Does it go through the closed doors?
It does not.
It just stops here, or it goes up the hallway?
The streaks seem almost at random.
They do seem to both move vertically, as in going northwest, but they are placed intermittently.
Maybe every five, six feet or so, and some of them appear to be of varying freshness.
The chunks of something, if you choose to inspect them closer, appear to be bits of
either now long-dried meat, or what look to be semi-consumed rat carcasses.
Here's my theory.
Spider.
There's a big bird in here.
I think it could be a big spider.
Why big bird?
Because feathers dragging along the wall.
Yeah.
Wait, did he say feathers?
No.
Okay.
Because that's what I was thinking.
Also didn't say wall.
I think he said that it went up the walls as well.
On the floors.
Yeah, so maybe not.
I still think it's a big bird.
Regardless, we are running out of time.
We might be able to find the butcher alive.
You're right.
If we don't finish this quickly, we won't get to go to Cece's.
Quickly.
Scarabull presses head against the door and listen in.
Yes.
I will do the same.
I will check for traps on the door.
Check for traps.
Nat 20 for a 29.
I had another 21.
29.
And I do have, granted he went north, I do have a...
What is it called these days?
Hunt prey?
Yeah, I've got hunt prey on that one cobalt that ran north.
So if he's in this room for any reason, I get another plus two to finding him.
Fancy.
Completely unnecessary words I'm saying.
This is totally not him.
I just had to remind myself that I have hunt prey.
Sorry Jesus.
I went down my windpipe.
Are you safe?
Are you okay?
Sorry it's just really stinky in this hallway.
Oops dropped my penis again.
I gotta pick that up.
Getting blood all over it.
Are we sure this isn't barbecue sauce?
All over the place.
You wanna do a Constitucin?
Roll fortitude.
Fortitude, let me taste it.
You guys good?
I kicked the shit out of that.
What is fortitude?
Nine.
That is a 27.
Rootmore got a 27 on tasting the blood.
I'll also taste the blood.
I was joking.
What did you roll?
Hands off the chest piece.
When they got a 12 tasting the blood, it's cause I also have a 9 fortitude so I'm like
me too me too.
I forgot all my shit is up there.
My secrets.
Rootmore as you lick the floor, the long dried powder fills your tongue and mouth with the
taste of copper.
It's definitely blood.
Is it barbecue sauce or what?
It tastes like a piece of copper.
Monet as you drag a finger through the fine red dust and apply it to your tongue ever
so gently, you immediately retch at the taste of old dried blood.
I can't believe you did that.
It's blood.
Monet, you're contaminating the area.
We need to save this.
We need to investigate.
Scarab, you rolled really well but with the sound of the two retching behind you, you
really can't make out anything.
I think we're safe.
Let's open this door.
You first.
Sleeping rooms.
Bunch of beds.
As you open the door and venture into the chamber, you find a rather barren looking
room with a long row of long unused beds.
Huh.
Well definitely roll in some perception here.
Yes.
Who's sleepy?
Those are tiny beds.
I'll check the second bed.
Um, yeah, Scarab like.
I'll check all the yellow beds.
Scarab starts checking the first bed and just kind of lays down on it with an 11 perception.
18.
19.
You find it unusual that the beds seem to be in relatively fine condition.
I mean despite their age, the thick layer of dust upon them and the well worn through
time sheets, they have not been ransacked by the Kobolds for some reason.
All of the bedding is still relatively intact.
One thing you do notice though is that same wet sound permeates the air and as you turn
to the end of the room to the north, you see a ghostly apparition of a dwarven skeleton
holding a battle axe floating towards you.
Roll for initiative.
Oh shit.
Okay, careful.
Here we go.
This sucks.
Yeah, this is going to be interesting.
So from our eyes, is it a skeleton being held together by ghostly stuff or is it a ghost
skeleton?
It seems to be a skeleton held together by ghostly stuff.
Okay, so there is something to touch.
It's not one of those weird ghost skeletons because that's a thing.
No, they're skeleton ghosts.
I don't remember.
I just thought about how silly that is.
Yeah, because the skeleton that doesn't have a soul.
Yeah.
So why would the being come back as a skeleton?
It just sounds like something off a Zelda cartoon in the 90s.
Sounds made up.
Something about this sounds made up.
Whoever this guy is, he's super far away from us.
What'd you get Scarab?
That'll be a 24.
Very nice.
Monet.
15.
And Rudy.
I also got a 24.
Nice.
Who do you want to go first?
Do you want to take a shot or?
Kind of makes me sad.
I'm sure that's a follower of Taurag here to haunt the place.
You go first.
Go talk to him.
All right.
I'll go talk to him.
Oh boy.
Hello, friend.
Greetings.
Rootmore, as the creature approaches from the darkness, you hear the faint, evil sounding
hiss emanating from these bones.
A moment later, it begins to lurch forward and you can truly see in the darkness, this
dwarf skeleton, donned in full plate, seems to glide towards you, holding a large battle
axe that nearly drags against the ground.
What do you do?
Oh, this is terrible.
This makes me sad.
Just crying.
God damn.
God damn draw scar.
Making my people haunt the place.
Does he have any?
I don't want to roll for it, but like just by glancing at him, does he have any like
ha, I don't want to roll for it.
I don't want to waste any action.
Just like asking what is he holding, you can just see it.
Is there anything obvious that he's a follower of Taurag?
Not off the rip.
You can just see it's the most distinctive feature or features of this creature is that
he wields a, don't worry about the pawn, it's not the most accurate.
The skeleton appears to be donned in gleaming full plate armor.
It shines especially dark in the bright, er, it shines especially bright despite the darkness
and the large battle axe it holds limply at its side are the most defining features.
I don't know who you follow, but rest.
But I love you.
I love you.
I'm going to move.
I'm moving 20 feet, five, 10, 15, 20 and five, 10, 15, 20.
Perfect.
It's within range.
The glow starts to appear in Rootmawr's war hammer and he points the hammer at the specter.
Rest, my friend, rest and he will cast heal.
And I need a fortitude save if...
Give me one moment.
Sure, sure.
Where are you moving?
Did you move?
Yes, I moved.
Next to Monet.
Got you.
Okay.
And you cast heal on the creature?
Yes.
Fortitude save.
16.
That's just a fail.
I rolled minimum.
The heal is 16 plus 2d8 and I rolled two ones.
18.
Spiritual damage.
Let me make sure it's spiritual.
So we're doing the...
What is it called?
Remastered edition right now.
As you cast your spell of heal, you see the holy light of Toreg envelop this skeleton
and it seems completely unfazed.
Uh oh.
Huh.
It's not undead.
What the...
And that is all for Rootmoor's turn.
Scarab.
Scarab's gonna use the ten paces to back away to the farthest wall and fire off a shot.
Let's go ahead and use that there, that PP you handed over to me.
Range of 60 is good?
Yep.
Beautiful.
I believe that is my first range increment.
Fantastic.
Don't remember where to see that.
Alright, roll twice, give me the better.
60 feet.
Rolled a 13 and a 14.
Damn.
I mean it's a hit.
I'm sure.
I hope.
Please, please god.
Oh, on the die.
22 to hit.
That Cheeto you just put in your mouth, Felicia.
I thought it was a weird d20.
And then I'm just looking at you like, that's a cool die, and then I see you put it in your
mouth like, what is she doing?
She's got these Cheetos, they're like popcorn Cheetos, and it was like a weird ball.
And from my distance, cause she's catty cornering up from me on the table, it looked like a
cool d20.
I need it.
And she just, oh.
I mean, yeah.
They need to make some nerdy snacks.
Now's the time.
Oh yeah, make chips that are shaped like dice or chicken nuggets that are shaped like dice.
Oh yeah, dog.
Oh yeah.
Little candies, gushers are halfway there.
Chocolate, you know how they're wrapped in foil, they're all chocolate's different shapes.
Chocolate coins, but chocolate dice.
Oh, and then you could have like, oh, here's what you do though.
You unwrap the chocolate d20 and it has one number printed on it.
And that number dictates how good the chocolate's going to be.
Yeah, you get a one.
It's literally just a small stone covered in chocolate.
Chocolate's delicious, but it's a stone.
That sucks.
I'm sorry.
Scared, what did you get again?
22 to hit.
That is a hit.
Very good.
That's going to be five damage, magical for the purposes of DR.
Yes, purposes.
That's what I was looking for.
Purposes of damage resistance.
As your bullet rips through the air, you notice something odd.
Give me a free perception check.
10.
The air in front of the skeleton seems to ripple for a moment, almost like it's slowing
your bullet.
But you see it collide with the skeleton as a chunk of it flies off from the skull, but
it remains suspended in midair.
Damn.
What the hell?
Um, something's awful silly about this guy.
I'm going to do a per, I'm, uh, I wouldn't have gained some insight on this fella.
I'm going to percept him.
My heal should have worked.
This is quite terrifying.
There we go.
Um, 27.
Very good.
As you focus in on that rippling effect that happens in front of it, you notice the ripple
only goes out so far and it seems to ripple out in a circular pattern at first, but the
ripple ends in a square like shape.
So some kind of strange magic barrier?
Give me a...
I, okay, can I just say...
I think it's some sort of ooze that has the skeleton in it.
Yeah, like it could, yeah.
Points to Felicia.
You notice that this...
It's a jelly.
It's a gelatinous ooze.
Wow.
It's a fucking jelly!
What the hell?
Um, very good.
Oh my god.
There's not much I can do about that except...
Oof.
No, ooze.
Oof.
From your shot, you do estimate this to be a large creature with the skeleton at its epicenter.
Yeah, that's bad.
Stay away from it!
Uh, Scarab's gonna reload.
That's it.
That's turn.
And as if on cue, it is the ooze's turn.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's a ghost.
But it didn't, my heal didn't work.
It's weird.
It's a problem with the game, not with me!
That's awesome.
That's pretty clever.
Goodbye, friends!
I knew thee well.
Right behind you.
Later, Monet.
We're just gonna have to do some punching and cutting.
And it's a large.
It is a large.
Which means realistically, we're gonna do this just so you can...
I'll stretch him.
Yeah.
Give me a moment to...
I feel like you just did that to get him closer to us.
I had moved 15 feet forward for something, but I gotta...
15.
Okay, ended up the same.
Oh, hello!
You notice this ghostly spirit sliding towards you, and as it does, you hear that hissing
sound much louder now.
You notice as it passes by the edge of the bed frames that the hissing grows louder and
a thin wisp of smoke comes off the wood as it begins to dissolve.
As the creature finds itself in front of you, it stops for a moment before it lurches forward
over both of you.
I need fortitude saves.
We got this, R'Vor.
We're fortitude babies.
Oh, we're in the trop again.
Here we go.
Pretty sure I can't do anything in this fight.
Don't forget about your pee-pee, okay?
Every episode.
Every episode we get one.
Before I forget, as the creature begins to envelop you and you feel the sting of its
acidic body envelop you, thin wisps begin to emanate off of you as well as you feel
yourself being digested.
Monet, you take eight points of damage.
And Rootmore, you take three points of damage.
Acid if you have resistances.
I am resistant to all damage.
That's nice.
Good.
What a well-brewed character.
I have resistance a hundred to all damage.
And now I need that fortitude save.
But so easily charmed.
Yo, I might die.
I already rolled my fortitude save, but I would like to use my power point to reroll
it.
Can I also do that?
Yeah, I'll take that.
Please.
Just one moment.
What was that Rootmore?
You were right behind me.
What a waste of a heal spell.
Damn it.
Yeah, I could have used that.
It's scary while you're hearing it.
Okay, I'll go check the other room.
You got this.
Monet what'd you get?
I got a 20.
You feel your muscles beginning to seize in this acidic slime, almost as if your body
would not listen, but you're able to continue to wiggle free.
Rootmore.
25.
The same for you.
You feel this acid as it envelops you begins to make your body become more rigid.
You think for a moment, both of you, if you were not so sturdy that it would have left
you paralyzed.
But instead you find yourself suspended in this gelatinous ooze.
Monet, what do you do?
So have I, can I move?
You can attempt to rupture part of the ooze in order to escape.
You can cut yourself free if you're able to deal enough damage to break out.
Am I able to, fuck, shit.
Cody, I do not see Monet or Rootmore on the map.
Where did they go?
They're inside the slime.
Somebody say, oh sorry, I'm just pulling back.
You're both in the bottom quadrants.
Hey you guys, I might actually die.
You'll be fine.
Uh, shit.
You can also try an escape VC if you'd like.
And that is off of what?
I believe acrobatics.
Or you can do an unarmed attack.
I apologize, I actually owe you guys an additional save.
So give me a moment.
I need a reflex save from both of you.
Oh no.
I think I give up on adventuring.
Oh that's the CFO grabbed or not.
Oh you know what?
I'm sorry, this is tricky.
I might not need that.
Are you sure?
I rolled a natural 20.
One second.
This is the confusing thing.
So like the engulf action says that a creature, any creature the monster size is smaller whose
space the monster moves through can attempt a reflex save with illicit DC to avoid being
engulfed.
Right?
So that's the engulf action itself.
But then part of the transparent feature of the cube is any creature that walks into the
cube is automatically engulfed.
We didn't walk into it.
Right it walked into you.
So rules is written.
I think you guys get a DC save as it approaches you.
Especially since to try to squinch out.
I'm going to do it based off of the escape DC.
So go ahead and give me a reflex save to see if you avoid being engulfed.
I rolled a natural 20.
I want to use my other pp.
And what is that off of?
Again, reflex.
Re-flex?
15.
Not enough.
I rolled a 5 and a 10.
So Rootmore give yourself back 3 HP.
Oh thank you.
And I will move you because rather than being engulfed you instead are shoved back 5 feet.
Okay so now having fixed that, Monet now it is your turn.
You have the option to try to escape if you would like or to try to rupture your way out
of the creature.
Okay so an athletic check to escape.
What'd you do?
I'm going to try again.
That was a 100% a fail.
So minus 5.
Was that a critical fail possibly?
Is a 12 a critical fail?
No.
Yeah, new die.
New die.
Another fail.
What was the second fail?
A 9?
That is a critical fail so you can no longer attempt.
Critical failure you do not get free and you can't attempt to escape again until your next
turn.
We're assuming that I don't have my elements channeled.
Yes.
Okay.
I'd have to pull the weapon and that'd be it.
What's it take to channel your elements?
Inaction.
I would do that.
Yeah have it ready for the next turn.
Yeah social channel her elements.
You should get me dead.
Rootmore you can see he's not going anywhere.
He's not going to leave you here.
Also Monet I need to ask because you're inside of this creature you obviously cannot breathe
so you have to hold your breath.
What is your constitution modifier?
Plus 2.
So you have 7 rounds until you run out of oxygen.
Plenty of time.
You've been made at 7 rounds so you're either going to die or you're dead.
I'm going to do the same thing I do in bowling.
Give me a moment.
Also remember that reducing your remaining air happens whenever the end of your turn
occurs as in right now so you're down to 6 or by 2 if you attack or cast any spell.
So you are at 6 rounds.
Six rounds of oxygen left.
Please remember that.
And it is Rootmore's turn.
Monet hang on.
Beat the shit out of this thing.
First he's going to cast guidance on Monet so you get plus 1 to your saves, attack rolls.
And then he's going to swing his hammer.
Sorry I meant to say it's a fucking what is it called now?
It's called something different.
It's no longer power attack it is called vicious swing for a 24.
That's a hit.
Oh fantastic.
Nine bludgeoning damage.
Okay.
Beautiful.
And that is all of Rootmore's turn.
That makes it Scarab's turn.
Scarab with his gun loaded?
Would you hmm just a question.
Would you allow me to reload my gun with a special bullet for an action or would it would
take two actions to unload reload?
Oh because you already reloaded?
Yeah and thing is I forgot that I have these the freezing ammunition and I'd like to give
that a try.
You can.
But I totally you know what I'm fine with firing this one off.
Yeah.
But you can dump and put a new one in for just one action because there's no difference
between emptying a shell that is fired or not fired.
Yeah but then what I thought of is I could do that fire off one and reload or I can fire
reload fire and that's better better for the economy.
Okay yeah so Scarab's gonna fire off a shot.
Come on man come on.
Not amazing.
It's a news though it's got low AC.
Yes sir.
Oh that's true 16 to hit.
Hit.
Mad gamer.
Max damage with the seven piercing magical.
Seven piercing huge.
Okay and Scarab is gonna be like oh oh oh.
Reach into his pack pull out one of his freezing balls of which he has two.
Load that into his gun.
So now he's down to one one freezing ball in pocket and the other one in hand.
Freezing ball I forgot to.
And with his final action and the the daily PP that you're so graciously giving us.
Scarab will fire.
Freezing around at this fool.
Get him.
So a 20 to hit.
That's a hit.
Oh.
Though I was really hoping for a crit but you're going to need to do a fortitude save.
DC 19.
Oh yeah the ice.
Max damage again seven piercing.
Oh hell yeah.
Sorry I'll keep that in mind.
Fortitude save.
23.
Okay so you pass.
Nothing happens.
Except a good shot.
And how much damage was that.
So seven first shot seven on the second shot.
Very nice good round.
And that's it.
It is the slimes turn and Rootmore you see it lurch forward now with your companion in
tow attempting to engulf you as well.
I'm coming Monet.
Put that thing away damn it we're fighting.
Oh gross.
Roll me a reflex save.
You could have left that in the hall.
Kill with the blood.
The rat body.
14.
You feel this cold slimy sensation press against you before just you get sucked inside the
ooze.
You immediately clasp your mouth shut and hold your breath as you feel your skin begin
to sizzle.
You take eight points of acid damage.
And I need a fortitude save.
Come on fortitude come on.
Uh oh.
16.
As the burning sensation begins to overwhelm you you feel your muscles lock up in your
armor and you are paralyzed.
You will get another opportunity at the end of your turn.
Oh no.
You got any mental attacks?
Oh no.
The cube then begins to lurch forward once more very slowly towards you Scarab.
And it is Monet's turn.
Monet before we go we're going to take three points of acid damage and I'm gonna need a
fortitude save.
20.
Success.
Good.
What's that?
Oh I'm not paralyzed.
Correct.
Okay um.
Brutal.
If I like attack it and rupture it then I can escape?
Correct.
And it also takes damage?
Correct.
Let me double check on that because I want to make sure I'm doing rupture right.
Uh yes but rupture has to be done with either piercing or slashing specifically as its damage
types.
That's all you can do piercing or slashing?
For rupture yes.
Monet is going to pull out a potion and just hold it and then uh every bit of like Scarab
from outside of the slime can see kind of almost it almost looks like boiling as the
metal pieces on the skeleton start to vibrate as she pulls those metal pieces forward in
a two action elemental blast and is going to attempt to rupture with a two action elemental
blast.
Uh roll to hit.
It's 13 to hit.
The pulling of the elements seems to lock on the serrated edge of the axe being held
by the dwarven skeleton and it glows with magic and as you will it forward the axe spins
through the ooze slicing directly out of the face of it and you spill out from it onto
the ground.
I didn't even do my damage.
Roll for damage.
Wow.
Oh.
Ah.
Hell yeah dude.
Jelly candy come let's go.
True but I'm betting that you're going to do enough damage.
I hope you're going to do enough damage.
See Rootmore in the jelly there's a hot dog like oozing out of his pocket.
He can't move he's just looking at it with his eyes.
Licks his lips.
Max damage.
13 damage.
Nice.
So I'm here now.
Yes you spell out onto the ground in a pile of especially wet ooze.
So she falls to the ground and gasps her her clothes and just in like boiling raw patches
of skin.
Dark red on her colorless skin.
That's it.
That's it for turn.
All right it goes to Rootmore.
You are paralyzed and as your turn ends you try to struggle to break free of whatever
is restraining you inside of the ooze.
Roll me a fortitude save.
Easy.
Just have to roll well that's all.
14.
Try as you might you do not regain control of your limbs.
Scare them.
Do I take more damage?
On the oozes turn.
Keep saying ooze.
On the cubes turn.
Taking on the jellies.
Sucks.
It really sucks.
It really sucks because those fucking beds are there.
Monet couldn't be in a worse spot for what I wanted to do.
So sorry.
It just sucks because you're you're swallowed up immediately.
Unless I get past that ooze.
What are you trying to do?
I want to get past the ooze.
Now I want to get on the other side of the ooze.
Would you allow me that movement on a medium sized pig?
Or do I need to do some workarounds?
Let's do difficult terrain for the beds and give me one athletics check to or acrobatics
to vault the beds.
If you can pass that I'll let it go for all three you got to go over.
Or the two you got to go over.
Actually you only have to make it over the one really.
And then?
You have to move up to Monet diagonal, move up diagonal past cube.
And it's 10 feet difficult terrain or 15?
10.
But not moving into it only moving through it.
And since you're going over one and then immediately into normal you it'd be 10 just for the one
spot.
This is what's going to happen.
Okay.
Scare of seeing everything that's going on.
This for the listeners this cube is like right next to the doorway that we came in from.
Scarab is in a corner next to that door.
Monet between the cube and scare of scarabs going to run past or scarabs going to call
the pig pig.
Now's your time.
Pig is going to dash 5 10 15 20 30 35.
It's got 35 movement for pigs second.
You can go one more from there.
This is B 5 10 15 25 30 30 35 35.
Pig is going to use its second action to continue running 5 10 15 20 25 or 20 25 30.
Yeah let's go.
Let's go there.
Oh did you want me to do any athletics checks or anything like that?
Give me an acrobatics on the bed.
As long as you don't critically fail you should be all right.
We'll say this if you if you fail then it's difficult terrain if you succeed not difficult
terrain and if you critically fail then you stop on the bed.
Pig and scarab jump past Monet onto the bed with a 16.
That's a success.
Push down the hallway and as they as they skid to a stop and turn back towards the beast
with a raconteurs reload one action reload created a version scarabs going to shout to
the jelly if it means anything.
You don't want the stone girl you want this big old pig.
This way idiot.
Reloads his weapon and fires.
Oh I'm sorry reloading again with a freezing the final freezing round.
Okay do you want to do the role to see if you.
Yes.
Give it's attention.
That is a.
Deception check against his perception DC.
And I believe there's a penalty if the creature does not speak your language.
But I think it's small I think it's like a minus four.
Small.
Minus four is big.
Minus four.
I believe so.
So that'd be a 23 deception big role.
Yeah as you notice the slime was still lurching towards Monet seeming to try to recapture it
and as you make the commotion around it it kind of like wobbles in place before it begins
sliding towards you.
Success.
Now for you.
Huh.
Sorry go ahead.
Oh I was just going to do my my gun attack.
Oh no created a version does not have a minus four but whenever you intimidate it's minus
four if they don't understand.
Oh OK good to know.
OK.
OK so yeah 27.
A 27 oh that would have been a critical.
I don't know what is creative version do.
Let's see.
Do you have it open right now.
I always forget how to find it here.
There's just success and failure.
Unless it says in here.
What is the success do for it.
You get a minus two to my attack.
Oh so it's flat.
Gotcha.
Here's what I'm hoping for.
Please for all things holy create balance between this episode and the last.
Give me a crit.
It's going to be a 22 against flat footed.
That's a hit.
Oh yeah.
Not a crit.
Now and as you think on it several times you've seen your party members and yourself perform
spectacular versions of your normal attacks.
Things that you imagine would be devastating to a normal creature seem to impact this creature
the same.
Yeah.
Oh fortitude save against DC 19.
Here goes that's a D12.
Twenty.
Damn by one.
Damn well I guess by two five piercing magical.
Very good.
Five you said.
Yes.
OK.
Yet another shot ringing through the gelatinous cube and another chunk of bone is ripped away
from the skeleton suspended in its weirdly dewy.
After the shot scarab is like gently petting the top of pigs head and pigs ear.
And you could tell both of them are super nervous.
They're super nervous but they're here for this one.
All right.
It is the slimes turn.
Root more you feel the acid burning your skin again.
This time for seven points of acid damage.
You can roll me that fortitude save again.
OK that's good.
Twenty five as it begins to burn you feel your body twitch reflexively and you find
you can move your limbs again.
He reaches up and grabs that loose hot dog and puts it back in his pocket.
Turn over.
And 15.
The slime begins to slither back down the room towards you and pigs scarab.
Again you hear the hissing and you see the steam as it brushes against the edge of the
bed frames.
And as it approaches you rather than trying to run you over its front side begins to wriggle
creating a strange display of undulating air in front of you as it lurches forward to slam
its face on you.
Seventeen.
Miss.
You narrowly avoid the cube as it makes a wet splat on the ground and it is death.
Monet's turn.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
That fortitude I did was that to be paralyzed or not be paralyzed.
Correct.
Yeah you are no longer paralyzed.
OK so.
Also what is your con modifier.
Plus two.
OK so you have seven rounds minus two rounds.
You have five rounds left of oxygen.
Monet quickly downs the health potion.
Dropping the bottle to the ground.
Great.
How much you get.
One.
Damn.
Fuck.
Are you you're into your HP.
Yeah.
Oh hell yeah.
I had no more.
Oh my god I forgot.
We're the same right now.
We're both at 10.
Oh really.
And she will.
OK.
What is.
Turn HP.
Not bad.
Just pretend like we're level one.
All years.
Stop talking.
He's just swallowing hooves as he's talking.
Showing hot dogs in his pockets.
You can see his.
You can see his tight pants start to fill.
Oh it's a nice place to use my pants.
Remember beer fest when.
What's his name.
Inside the vat of beer.
It's only one way out.
To bring myself out.
Next scene he's dead.
He's just floating suspended in.
I just remember watching that like holy shit he's getting out.
Oh.
I think I watched that with you Matt the first time I saw it.
It's so dumb.
Yeah there's like a year ago.
Far from.
All right.
She will.
Say chicken fucker.
Is there anything on the ground in here.
Never mind.
Bunch of hot dogs.
She will do an elemental blast.
Yeah see that's a thing.
I think it's real clean in here because he's just rumba-ing the whole floor.
That is a 25 to hit.
That's a hit.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
It would be a crit.
Would be.
Damn jelly.
Bastard.
Okay that is three.
That is three piercing.
Alrighty Rootmore.
Your limbs are recently freed you are inside the slime.
Oh good.
Four points of damage.
Okay.
I mean hold on I'm going to do a little math.
Just kidding.
Several options here you can attack to attempt to rupture.
You can try to escape with acrobatics athletics or an unarmed strike.
If you're going to rupture you need slashing or piercing.
Oh.
Oh we're not going to do that.
We're going to do a cast a two action heal.
The base is 16 that's all I need to be going all the way up.
Then he's going to cast heal.
He's full HP.
Zero stamina but full HP.
Then we're going to swing the hammer.
As you cast the spell you feel your concentration drawing away from the breath you have left
in you.
You move down from five to three rounds.
Uh oh.
Let's try to escape them.
So I can still escape I just can't rupture.
Correct you can try a.
Let me.
Sorry.
Athletics, acrobatics or attack unarmed strike.
Those are all correct for rupture.
I just need to make sure that those are your options because otherwise you might run out
of breath and die.
So your options for engulfed.
You are grabbed.
See I messed up on this.
If you were engulfed you were grabbed and you were slowed one.
Oh so that's that's his turn then.
Correct and I should be doing the damage at the end of each of your turns but I'm doing
it on the slimes turn just because it's easier for everybody.
Yes so you can get free by escaping against the listed escape DC.
You can attack only with unarmed attacks or with weapons of a light bulk or less and the
creatures flat footed to those attacks.
When you run out of breath are you just straight dead or you start taking HP damage.
When you run out of air you fall unconscious and start suffocating.
You can't recover from being unconscious and must attempt a DC 20 fortitude save at the
end of each of your turns.
On a failure you take 1d10 damage and on a critical fail you die.
On each check after the first the DC increases by 5 and the damage by 1d10 and they are cumulative.
Once your access to air is restored you stop suffocating and are no longer unconscious
unless you hit 0 HP.
So 3 rounds left it's about to get heavy.
At the end of your turn that goes down to 2 rounds.
So if you make an attack next turn it's gotta be the one that frees you.
Just like in literally every movie when somebody gets splashed by something nasty or they fall
in something gross they always have their mouth open like ahhhhhhh.
My only thought is close your fucking mouth.
Close your fucking mouth.
You know horror movies and the lady's screaming and blood is just going into her face constantly
and she's like ahhhhhhh.
Close your fucking mouth.
What are you doing?
The same problem I have with in movies when people draw their own blood they cut the insides
of their palm.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You need your hand.
Why don't you cut like the outside of your forearm or something?
Because the palm is symbolic.
It's so stupid.
But it's symbolic for the wrong thing.
It's like now you can't fucking hold anything.
You're an idiot.
That's because the palm thing used to be for blood packs.
But I don't know why people still use that for things that aren't blood packs.
Yeah exactly.
All the time when somebody draws blood for any reason they do it in the palm.
Why?
I don't know.
It's just stupid.
Yeah.
You walked away but yeah outside of the forearm.
I do feel like I've seen some where people...
They're not on the inside of your arm either.
Yeah do it on the outside.
There's a reason the out... like all your veins are on the inside of your body because
they want you to keep them away from everything else.
You know the spots you don't like to be poked?
Don't do it there.
That's the sensitive part.
It's sensitive for a reason.
Just you know cut it on your tricep.
Somewhere out there.
Well because that doesn't look cool.
It doesn't.
But it's smart.
So I'm saying I think they got the whole cutting the palm thing from like old ritualistic blood
packs.
Do it on your chin.
It used to be when you did a blood pack as a sign of respect you would cut your palm
and so would they and then you would shake hands.
So there was an intermingling of blood and that was meant to be symbolic.
We share blood.
We are of one.
You just nick your chin really quick.
That'll give you enough blood.
Yeah there you go.
Because head wounds bleed a lot.
So it's just like if you just do like a little...
Well anywhere where the bone is close to the skin bleeds a lot.
Do an elbow cut.
Don't do that.
You move your elbow too much.
Yeah.
But if you do your chin it's fine.
You know?
Yeah.
What we should do is...
Just don't move your face.
Yeah.
Then you won't be gasping when you're getting drenched in blood.
I got the cut on my chin and then just talking to you guys made it ooze and bleed more.
Speaking of oozing and bleeding please.
Please.
Help!
Stop!
So how...
How bad was it?
I've got two actions left.
Two turns.
Two rounds.
Yeah two rounds.
So I can't do anything or I'll die.
So I just need to...
Rootmarsh is going to hang out and hope you guys kill the snake.
Basically it's two rounds of oxygen.
It takes two rounds to cast a spell or make an attack.
After which case he will run out of oxygen and begin suffocating.
So he can attack on his next turn but if he does that he will be at zero which means that
attack needs to cut him free.
It's not going to happen because the war hammer is greater than light bulk.
You said you can only use a weapon of light bulk.
Yes.
For cutting yourself out.
Yeah.
It's not going to happen because he would have to take an action to pull his clan dagger
out and then an action to swing it.
Yeah.
Well the pulling it out will not deplete your oxygen.
Just the attack.
Attacks and spells reduced by two and the end of your round reduces by one.
Yes.
Reduce your...
I'm sorry.
These are not meant to be cumulative.
I fucked that up.
You reduce your remaining air by one at the end of each turn or by two if you attacked
or cast any spells that turn.
So I reduced it by three on one of them instead of just by two.
So you should have three rounds of oxygen left.
Okay.
I was doing one plus two for your attack.
It's not in the instance of if you attack three times that you lose six rounds of oxygen
you just lose two.
Okay.
So you've got three rounds of oxygen left.
And it is Scarab's turn.
The ooze is right in front of you wriggling and trying to slam you.
Any chance I could reach in possibly get hold of Rootmoor and run?
Is there any way to wrench... any mechanic to wrench him out or any way we could play
something of the sort?
Because if no then no.
But I will let you do an aid check and if you succeed on the aid I'll let you get a
bonus towards... well that would give you a bonus towards your escape DC if you wanted
to try to escape next turn.
Okay.
So we could play like this because I do not want to end my turn next to the creature if
there's a way for me if I could like say spend the action to reach in try to do it and maybe
like maybe say it yanks an area of it free to help him the next time and then closes
on the creatures turn.
You know just creating an air pocket in it because I don't want to be here to aid while
you're doing right.
Give me one moment.
Let me if possible.
If not then later Rootmoor.
I'm so sorry.
It really sucks.
I will let you aid on the escape.
If you take a if you attempt to shoot to form an opening for Rootmoor to try to escape out
of at a increased AC of the creature I will decrease his DC by the same amount.
And let's make this interesting.
I will let you gamble on how much you want to increase the creatures AC and how much
you want to reduce his ability to escape.
So cards on the table.
The creature is a base AC of 10.
The DC to escape is 19.
However much you up its AC I will reduce the DC 19.
Okay.
We should have went through the Dark Souls room.
Maybe go up there just one just one giant smack from some weapon.
No didn't get a chance to see it.
We're all dead.
This place is hell.
Okay.
Go pig.
Scarab and pig are going to run 70 feet out of the hallway ending down next to the headless
corpse of a man and the other.
If these doors over here I couldn't remember if they were broken or what but I would want
to leave an opening to be able to shoot through the doors.
Opening a door is an action.
So you could spend an action to open and then move.
But if you're doing that that's two actions for you and both actions for pig right and
then something else to consider too.
If you're at 70 feet you're one outside your range increment right so you'll take a penalty
on the shot.
So if it would cost because I'm not I'm not reloaded either so I'd be willing to use all
those actions reload and not be able to God I wouldn't be able to take a shot.
Open door reload.
Yeah.
Unless well no I don't want to do that either.
I feel like the safest it sucks because I won't I won't be able to shoot.
I think you got to just take the heroic chance maybe back up enough to be away hope you can
help spill root more out so he's in front.
Here's what here's exactly what we'll do.
Maybe it's not exactly what we'll do because I could spend one of pigs actions to attack
if you'd let me try to make that the opening if you'd like.
He does piercing.
He does.
With his tusks.
Piercing.
I would allow it.
Same rules though.
You got to tell me before you roll.
With again AC 10 DC 19 for root more.
So however how you want to make it.
What's your what's your role to get out.
Escape.
Yeah.
I guess it has to be piercing or slashing right.
That's for rupture.
We're talking about just for escape you're talking athletics acrobatics or unarmed strike.
Plus nine.
On a DC 19 means you'd have to roll a 10.
So right now you can increase the difficulty of your hit the precision of your strike to
open an opening for root more at a cost for one for one.
Pig we need to free root more.
I would like to raise its AC for four.
Okay so that'll make your DC a 15.
If this is AC 14.
What'd you get.
12.
Rolled the wrong die.
Rolled the wrong die and I got and I got what I knew would have come.
You've got two more actions.
Got two more actions.
Ping has another action as well.
Scarab is going to reload.
Can I interchange pigs actions with scarab zone.
Yeah.
You can take your second one whenever scarabs going to reload.
Fire into the beast.
You want to take the same gambling deal.
If you're cool with it.
I'm down.
I want to get my friends out of here.
This is the plan.
I'm going to do it again.
Let's stick.
I'm a gambling man.
To raise it to 15.
All right.
So five.
Oh baby.
It's going to be a 29 to hit.
Shit.
Rue more from inside the slime.
You can see scarab point the gun at you and you can hear the as it goes off and you see
the bullet enter the slime and just wiggle its way right in front of you before it stops
leaving behind it a board trail and slime that is not yet closed.
Roll for damage.
Fitting to damage.
That's what scarab did.
He aimed it at the being and then just kind of stuck it in there a little bit.
So rumor this decreases your DC to escape to 14.
Oh good.
It is however the rest of your turn scarab and then we'll get to the slime.
Yeah.
Kill it pig.
Pig goes for a strike.
One final strike to end the turn.
Probably a no.
Yeah.
Oh OK.
Yeah.
If you're counting the regular.
Yeah.
12 to hit.
That's a hell yeah.
Roll damage.
Fuck yeah.
Max damage.
That's going to be 11 piercing.
Scraping away at this big ol' vlog of jello.
Yes yes yes.
Oh that's it.
Please be worth it.
It is now the slimes turn.
Brace yourself pig.
Did you want to use pigs last action?
That was it.
That was it?
OK.
Yeah that was the second melee action.
Got you.
All right.
The slime will attempt to slam onto you first.
17.
Miss.
Yes.
And the second one is against pig.
12.
Miss.
Oh good.
And its third is also a miss.
The creature flails wildly in your direction attempting to engulf the whatever it is that
is making these loud reverberations in the room around it.
It seems confused almost.
It is Monet's turn.
Scarab is frozen.
He wishes he ran away.
Good lord.
Monet you see the slime closing in on your friends the others still suspended gasping
for air.
Monet is going to focus really hard on the inside of that gelatinous cube on that weapon
that she was able to pull forward.
The axe.
And she's going to do a telekinetic projectile.
I can see you like having it just spin on the inside.
Exactly.
Failure.
Um.
Yeah mushy jello.
Right for the slurping.
Get in there.
It's an acid.
Delicious.
No!
That's a miss.
What is it?
It's a slurping.
It's a 7.
No, that is a miss.
Just kill her.
She sucks.
7 total?
7 total.
I rolled a 2.
No.
That's a miss.
Anything else?
She'll attempt to do an elemental blast.
How about a 3 on the die.
Golly!
They've used three different sets of dice today and they all fucking blow.
Hahaha!
I forgot on the slime's turn...
Ten points of acid damage to you, Rootmore.
Oh, thank you!
Lest we forget!
And I do need a very important fortitude save.
Easy!
I mean, it's a plus nine.
Can't fail.
Famous last, uh...
Twelve!
You're paralyzed again.
Oh, cool.
And it's your turn.
His hand is outstretched towards a hot dog and it just freezes.
No, Rootmore!
Alright, here comes the fortitude save to get out of paralyzation.
Yes.
Here we go.
How?
That's a little better than a three.
Ready and waiting.
Okay, uh, sixteen?
Still paralyzed.
Ah, good turn.
Scarab, you set the way for your friend, but he's trapped.
God, man!
Look, I just think... let's just delete this.
And you are down to two rounds of oxygen.
We'll start it all over.
We'll start this whole session over.
Yeah, you know what? Fuck the recording.
Pig, tear it apart!
Pig strikes.
Not over. I have to make up for last time.
I have to make up for every time running away.
Sixteen to hit.
Yes.
You're gonna kill it this round.
Max damage, eleven piercing.
Yeah, it's gonna die.
Eleven piercing, huge.
Pig is gnashing.
Gnash, gnash, gnash.
Cutting huge swaths of this slime, sending them flying onto those beds.
Sizzling acid into the air.
Strikes again.
Minus five.
Sixteen to hit.
Hit, hit.
Seven piercing damage.
Seven piercing.
Scarab Elite reloads his gun.
Not today, Rootmoor.
Shoves his gun inside of the being.
Fires.
Twenty-five to hit.
Hit.
Three piercing damage.
Okay, okay, okay.
That's the turn.
That's a lot of damage.
It's close, it's close.
Shredding it.
You can just see Pig just hurling chunks of this thing away with each swipe of its tusks.
The bullet that goes inside of it.
You're standing there now holding the gun pressed against this thing and you can see it just jiggling and quivering as it's powering above you.
This giant hissing ooze.
And as you stand there in the silence, it begins to quiver before it splashes down onto the ground.
And the hiss of the open air as Rootmoor gasps for breath and you kill the gelatinous cube.
Yes, dude!
Yes!
Oh my god.
I told you.
Everything's fine.
Just laying on the ground.
Probably still paralyzed.
I told you, brother, this is worth something!
Oh my god.
Monet is just looking at her hands like, why am I so fucking useless?
Why am I so fucking useless?
Well maybe you need to do a backstory.
Rootmoor laying on the ground paralyzed, covered in slime.
Why am I so fucking useless?
Everyone quickly! I know the trick!
Do a backstory!
Write about it!
Oh, my dice are fucking cursed!
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