Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, our heroes find out that the squid creatures are
from the Shadow Plane and so is Monet.
The group then heads into the room where the Colonel was killed.
Acting with haste, they forgot that the Warg is known for setting traps.
Rootmore and Monet get slammed by an axe trap as they enter, and the beast emerged from
the shadows behind them.
Scarab quickly throws a ready junk bomb at the Warg, and the damage was massive, nearly
killing it with one blow.
The weakened, blinded creature then took a hit from Rootmore and finished itself off
by critically failing an attack and biting its own arm off.
Our heroes then decide to head back to Falcon's Hollow, this time with the beast's head.
Our story continues now!
You make your way back to town in late afternoon.
You make your way back to the lower markets, attempting to sell off the goods you procured
on your most recent adventure.
After selling your goods you've acquired, what do you aim to purchase?
Papa's looking for a gun upgrade!
Yeah Scarab's gonna use some of the party's money to upgrade his weapon with a potency
rune plus one.
Mom, that's gonna make it easier for me to land hits when I roll my die.
Yes, and I will do the same with my warhammer.
Plus one to hit.
It's perfect.
Sell these heavy artisan tools.
It hurts.
It's heavy.
20 pounds, I can't handle it.
And I will spend my money helping Rudy get his upgrade.
Thank you, Doorcrusher!
Monet is fine.
Magic!
Yes.
I do use magic.
My name is Monet.
We've been over this.
Fantastic.
I'm gonna go to the markets and just play around with my sausage.
See if anybody wants to buy.
Right.
Try to make some money.
Maybe.
I don't know how to do that.
Is it night time, day time, have we slept yet?
By the time you finish your shopping, the sun is beginning to set and so you are finding
yourselves in the twilight hours of day.
Do we want to do the quest putting in in the morning?
Yeah!
Turn in our quest tomorrow and just like find a place to sleep tonight?
Rootmore holding the wards head by one ear.
I have to sleep with this you mean?
Well.
Unless the sheriff is open, we might want to stuff it behind a rock or something.
Be afraid to lose it because I don't have money to sleep inside.
Yeah well.
What time did we say it is?
I wasn't listening.
It's late!
It's late.
The sun goes down!
The twilight hours of the day some might say.
Stuff it in my grill.
It's fine.
Don't cook it.
Security.
Do you want to try to earn any income?
I could do that.
Trying to read it really quick.
How good is your crafting?
Crafting is plus four.
You know what brother?
We could just walk over to the sheriff's office, slap that baby on his desk and say, hey you
think we could get a room somewhere?
Yes I feel like he might pay us.
Give that a shot.
As well if you're going to be sleeping in the streets.
He's probably open.
He's a sheriff.
What do you think?
You think he closes at night?
No.
Everything's fine and dandy at night?
I doubt it.
Never.
Well no one must be going check I suppose.
Yeah let's try that.
Let's see if.
Yeah I could also my sausages after that.
Give your sausage to the sheriff.
It might be a little too late to sell sausages after that.
Maybe.
You know weigh your options wisely.
Let's get rid of this head.
It's dripping.
It's gross.
It's everywhere.
To the sheriff's office.
Then before long you find yourself in front of the sheriff's door.
Whoa.
Yeah.
The scarabs going to walk up to the door.
He's going to swing it open.
He's going to step in.
He's going to keep that door open so you can bring that nasty head in here without getting
on the door itself.
Oh thank you.
The blood and all that.
It's probably pretty gross.
Yes it's dripping.
It's nasty.
Hello sheriff.
Come on in Rudy.
Oh yes.
Good sheriff.
I spoke to you earlier a couple days ago.
He's not in here.
It's an empty room.
I feel dumb.
It's closed for the night.
Yeah so as you burst in Sheriff Bailson is behind his desk once again with a glass of
neat scotch and he is in the midst of writing something and he sets it aside and stands
up to greet you.
Yes.
Welcome back my friends.
Please please have a seat.
A drink maybe.
Oh thank you.
He pours you a small.
For free right?
Glass of scotch.
35 gold actually.
Take my war hammer.
You can have my gun.
Thank you that will do.
I'll put it next to my axe.
So he pours two three.
I'll have a drink yes.
The three of you a finger of scotch each in short glasses and arranges chairs from the
office around his desk before he gestures towards you to drink and sits down.
Welcome back please pray tell.
Any news of Drewinger?
Give the sheriff head.
Rootmore just holds the head up by an ear just dangling from his hand.
Your beast.
The sheriff is visibly confused.
I.
This is no dwarf.
No but as far as we can put together this is the thing that killed the dwarfs and all
of your lumber mill workers.
Oh so you've spoken with Yalvin then.
Yes this is the talking wolf that everyone is talking about.
Look we know that we got to go talk to those guys but we were helping for lodging.
We're broke.
He rubs his forehead for a moment a little bit in disbelief.
The city itself has put no bounty on this beast but the lumber consortium I'm sure would
at least be grateful for your ending of their terror.
The loggers will no doubt be able to return to work in short order and be unmolested as
they do so.
So that in itself holds value and he picks up the grotesque warhead and puts it behind
his desk.
Sorry the head is squished I hit it with a hammer.
Very good.
Well I apologize I don't have a reward for you per se but I in lieu of your deed for
the town I suppose I could put you up for the night in the local inn.
I could at least afford you a room for the night for the people who would risk themselves
and then perhaps you could garner the reward from the long bear consortium in the morning.
So you'll give it back then?
If no.
Well how do we prove to them that we.
You require a letter of legitimacy to your claim.
I would be happy to supply that as well as dispose of this.
Can you take a picture of it put it on the letter.
I take it what now.
You need a bard to draw it and speak of it in the taverns for everyone to know.
I don't want to do that so tell you what.
Since you are still under my employ on finding the remains or the whereabouts of Druengar
I will put you up for the night on good faith and he like gives you back the head.
You can worry about this as he gestures at you.
I mean we don't need it back yet just maybe in the morning.
No I'd rather not hold on to it but I thank you nonetheless even if it is not a direct
service to the people of this town it is a direct service to our means of earning income.
So do you intend to return to the ruin.
Have you learned anything of Druengar.
That was exactly the next point for tonight we just need to rest then we can take this
head to those assholes in the lumber consortium.
From there we can go back to the ruins because as far as we have found out Druengar was there
for sure without a doubt dwarves dwarves dwarves.
So he made it to the ruin.
We found his coat his hat he wrote his name in his hat like he was in kindergarten or
something.
Didn't want to lose it and it was still there.
On a table.
That is equal parts reassuring and troubling.
Hey we got rid of this guy so we can hopefully look around the rest of the ruins in safety.
And get rid of that guy.
This guy killed two scarabs friends.
Both of them.
You saw them they're not here anymore they're dead.
He looks down and begins scribbling something on a piece of paper while you talk.
And any anything else at all.
My pig got big.
The pig got bigger.
Probably from all the food and fighting.
Outside of that I'm not sure.
Ocean creatures as well.
Oh.
Beasts from the nether in a chapel.
Please do go on beasts from the nether.
Shadow creatures above ground in the temples.
Things that are not supposed to be there.
What sort of things.
Undead dwarves undead kobold.
Ghosts.
Spirits.
Followers of torag.
All dwarves in a chapel.
They appeared for a moment and then vanished.
He leans back in his chair and he takes a small drink.
So the rumors are true.
There was a rumor around town that somewhere within the ruins of Droskar's crab roamed
a dwarven ghost.
Oh.
Many.
There were quite a few.
They were singing.
It's almost like the temple came back to life when we entered.
Life in death.
Who spoke of these ghosts?
No one in particular.
Just rumors around town.
Hunters.
Other explorers.
People who have come and gone.
So no one really ventures out that far anymore.
Hence my need of you, fine adventurers.
There is still a bottom level in that crucible we haven't checked.
It was being guarded by this beast.
Well.
Troubling as that is, it changes nothing.
I thank you for that which you have done so far and I wish you luck on that which you
have yet to do.
In the meantime, please take this and he hands you a piece of paper.
This is a writ.
A request, as it were.
From the city to the sitting duck.
Bring this to Ergen and she will see that you are fed, that you have had your fill of
drink and that you have a warm bed to rest in at night.
I hope tomorrow when you set out that you may finally put to rest this town's mystery.
Bye Torag, thank you.
Yes.
Thank you for your trust in my company.
And your other friends.
Oh, they're dead.
Straight dead.
Yep, all of them obliterated.
Not even left with a wedding ring.
Holds up the wedding ring.
The wedding ring slips it back in his pocket.
No trace of my good friends.
Ben, your journey was not without peril.
I'm sorry for your loss.
He raises up his glass.
To those lost and those yet to be found.
Cheers.
Good luck.
Is he hot?
A little bit.
I think you had a mustache.
I think it looked like a good old...
Like a young sheriff.
Oh yeah.
I don't know.
He's got that giga Chad chin line.
He's like, oh, gaw.
He looks like handsome Squidward if handsome Squidward were an elf with a fauxhawk.
He ain't bad.
He ain't bad at all.
He's definitely not unfortunate looking.
He has several scars.
Scars are good.
Like Garus Ficarion.
From Mass Effect 1, 2, and 3.
Why are you laughing?
Because Scarab already left.
Yeah, this is a conversation that Monet is having with the sheriff.
See yourself out.
Oh, chef.
Sausage on me.
Slaps the sausage down on the desk.
Hot steaming beautiful looking sausage.
Is it cooked already?
It's cooked.
It's not warm obviously, but like...
Just like body warm?
Not even from your body?
Yeah, I guess body warm.
Sure.
Why not?
Is it sun dried?
Is it a slim jim?
It's actually a good idea.
Yeah.
Make some jerky.
Yes.
It's a summer sausage.
Oh yeah.
Summer sausage.
Slap that on the table.
That just means it was cooked by nature.
Well, I am very busy as you can imagine.
Right, right, right.
I thank you for your time and if you find anything, please do not hesitate to visit.
And the same to you.
Right.
Good night.
I love you.
Bye bye.
I love you too.
It sounded like you said, I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'll go.
I love you.
Good night.
I love you.
So you step out.
You find yourself on the streets.
Once again, the sun at this point is cresting.
What you want to do?
Rootmore is going to the duck.
Oh, the duck hole.
Yeah, the duck hole.
But the main building, not the poo poo room.
Not the luxury resort in the back.
Yes, the sitting duck.
Yeah, let's just take these drink tickets.
Have fun.
Call it a night.
Continue tomorrow with our quest.
Oh, wonderful.
I didn't finish my drink in the sheriff's office.
Come back inside the office and he's just each of the three glasses.
Stressful job.
All right, have fun.
Meet me in the morning.
No, I'm on my way with you.
No, I'm coming too.
I'm coming too.
It's just that damn, you know, you know what I mean?
Oh, yes, I know.
Oh, if you want to get your jollies, that's not at the sitting duck.
We need to head west.
What is west?
Porn.
Live porn.
Okay.
Say no more.
Maybe we can take these sitting duck drink tickets over to the to the brothel.
Oops, got turned around.
Free life dance.
For killing a warg.
Sheriff said it.
I promise.
Go ask him yourself.
See, make yourself you make your way to the sitting duck.
Anything you want to do?
Get a lap dance.
Where are the honeys?
I'm small, but I'm spry.
This horn dog is going to bed.
And this girl is also going to go to bed separately.
Yes, me too.
Okay.
So you walk in and you see Ergen again behind the counter and you present her with your
writ from the sheriff who directs you to three adjacent rooms on the second floor.
You make your way up there, each taking your room and bedroom and you bed down for the
night.
Very nice.
Nice little end table.
Book of Mormon.
Never heard of it.
Yeah, Monet would like to check the Bible.
I don't even know who you'd roll for that.
Religion.
Roll religion, see if God blesses you with the 20.
Roll religion, none of it makes any sense.
Roll cult.
Yeah.
What is it?
You never know.
You never know what you'll find in a Bible.
I found $200.
Better win all of our listeners from Utah.
Here, let me roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's a six, team.
Six.
Pretty good, eh?
From your understanding of how these things work, you give the the in provided book of
religion a experimental shake and a single silver drops out from it.
Hell yeah.
Nice.
Damn.
As well as a small note that says, pay it forward.
Damn it.
Just leave a couple of bullets, an arrow, a week's rations.
Monet just kind of like-
In a book.
When it does like a little fist pump, like, yes.
Yeah, rob your religion.
And then puts it in a coin purse.
You bed down for the night and you begin to slip into the silent and restful state of
dreaming.
However, in the middle of the night, you begin to hear what sounds like a dull throng of
yelling, some crashing from downstairs and scarab.
You are awoken abruptly as your door is kicked open.
What?
What the fuck?
As you awake with a start and stare up before you at the foot of your bed and around gathering
are angry villagers carrying torches.
They immediately grab you as they begin to shout obscenities that you've calling you
a murderer, kidnapper, thief, monster, and they drag you from your bed.
The other two of you are awoken as this happens.
But as you hear this noise going on, scarab, you begin to be dragged down the stairs and
out the front of the tavern.
So you lied.
About what?
About us being safe.
About us getting safe rest in town.
You lied.
You're a liar.
It's safe for us.
You guys didn't get hurt.
Keep going, Cardi.
I want to see what's going on.
Well, the two of you have awoken abruptly to the sound of what is your neighbor on either
side having their door kicked in, the screaming and yelling of someone in an outrage.
Do we hear scarab?
Is scarab saying anything?
Yeah, Roomer grabs his hammer and his grill and comes out of his room.
As you rush to investigate the noise, you see the last trailings of people heading down
the stairs and out of the tavern.
Scarab, you're being...
I'd be happy to try to escape.
You're more than welcome to try.
Like, immediately.
Yeah, go ahead and roll me an escape check, escape artist.
What is that?
So I've got a feat that says, I have slippery prey, which makes it to where I can slip out
of being grabbed easier.
And it says I can train in acrobatics or athletics.
So either athletics or acrobatics.
Yeah, I'd like to use an acrobatics.
At being grabbed out of the bed.
Of course.
Nine.
The front doors of the tavern burst open as the crowd parades you through the street,
and all of them are shouting in a nearly unintelligible rage.
Monster, thief, murderer.
Burn the kobold, they say, as they parade you down into the middle of town to an erected
pole which there has been set, dried thatch beneath.
They move you up to the pole.
Several arms grab and pull at you as they begin to tie your limbs behind the pole.
As they're walking...
I would be fighting this whole time.
Yeah, and Monet would be behind being like, what are you doing?
What is going on here?
Like, she wouldn't just be silently following behind.
No.
She would probably be grabbing at people trying to pull them off.
I'm just waiting for you guys to tell me what the fuck is going on!
The crowd that the two of you are following is massive.
You imagine, you don't imagine.
You can count and see that there is easily 30 to 40 villagers that have kind of swarmed
around and are parading them in this way.
So as you follow, you are trying to pull away.
Go ahead and roll diplomacy.
I'm going to kill all of you!
I didn't do anything!
I'm a good guy!
I'll kill you all!
What did it want?
Why are they doing this to me?
This is scary.
Twelve.
What are you doing?
He's done nothing to you!
He's done nothing but help!
She'd be trying to push her way through the crowd to get up close to him.
Yes.
And trying to pull people away and off of him.
Seventeen diplomacy.
I'm going to start killing villagers if I have to.
Cowards, all of you.
You're better than that.
Let him go.
Does it take 30 of you to take down a little man?
Where's the sheriff?
Bastard probably did this.
Yeah, now that I think back on what he looks like, he looks a little slimy.
This is ridiculous.
I'm always down for a barbecue, but...
I wouldn't know why it's happening.
I kind of know this guy.
Rootmoor, as you begin to implore with some people of the crowd,
one of them turns to you and says,
Someone's kidnapped Cobra and Jabs.
The town's butcher.
They found Cobalt Trax near his home in the backyard.
Well, what if it was human Trax?
Would you go down and just arrest any random human?
This is a random attack.
He gives you a look of disgust and shrugs away from you as he moves in with the rest of the crowd.
You know those scenes where there is a crowd of people
and the protagonist is like fucking grabbing people's faces and pushing them backwards?
That's what Monet is doing, right?
She is like swimming through this crowd to get up to him.
You force your way towards the front of the crowd as it begins to circle around this pole that has been erected
and you fight your way to the front of the crowd.
And you too, I assume Rootmoor.
And you find yourself standing between the crowd and Scarab strapped to a pole.
The crowd is spitting, jeering, and yelling at all of you in his direction,
touting torches.
The bounce of the night again screams a murderer, kidnapper, thief, destroyer, monster, burn lizard.
Can I scan the crowd to see if there's a sheriff in town?
Yeah.
I want to do that.
Yeah, roll for perception.
What do the other two do?
I feel like Monet would immediately just go up and start trying to pull him off the pole.
Yeah.
While you're doing that, Rootmoor is going to stand guard and make sure nobody tries to stop you from releasing him.
As she's doing that, she will growl out and cover herself in stone as she goes to rip him from the pole.
About to start killing people in the stone.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Rootmoor's got his hammer in his grill.
He's armed.
He's ready to go.
Anybody comes close, he starts swinging.
Yeah, I'm getting bad rolls.
Eighteen to see if I can see the sheriff or somebody.
She has no diplomacy and no intimidation.
The two of you find yourselves, well, all of you are in a terrible situation, but the two of you namely find yourselves in a tight situation because on one end your friend is being accused of something and on the other, are you going to start innocently slaughtering villagers?
As you take defensive postures between yourselves and Scarab, some of the more, shall we say, angry farmers begin brandishing pitchforks in rage.
Confusion among the townsfolk begins erupting over with words, people saying, traitors, they're with them.
They're the ones what took the butcher.
You're all stupid fucking racists.
Racists, racist, racist, waves his finger across the crowd.
Amazing how fear controls you like little sheep.
You don't even ask questions.
Just go after the first little lizard man you see.
I think the only person in this party that has any ounce of charisma is in fact Scarab.
I don't know if I'm allowed to use it.
Because I am like, hey, I didn't do it.
She has no charisma, no intelligence.
She's got some intelligence, but no charisma at all.
She's just strong and uses magic.
She's just like, this is dumb, this is stupid.
Yeah, Rootmore's got charisma, but he's not using it right now.
Fuck these, fuck these cowards.
Do I see the sheriff with an 18?
As your eyes begin to scan the crowd, you look back and forth, trying to find anything aside from the sea of angry faces spitting curses in your direction,
before you see people being shouldered aside and you do in fact see the chiseled face of Sheriff Billson.
He makes his way to the front before calling out among the crowd, what is the meaning of this?
Oh, thank God.
It's gods, all of them.
All at once, the crowd begins to spout accusations and curses to Sheriff Billson before he calls for order, ushering the crowd into silence.
And you find yourselves standing strangely in this clearing surrounded by hostile, angry and scared faces in silence as the sheriff stands.
I see Monet on top of the pyre with scarab, slapping people's pitchforks away angrily as she fumbles with the binds, grabbing his wrists and pulling at them.
Far be it for me to remind you that this is a place of civility and decency, not a place of uproar where we go and tear people from their beds,
drag them out in the middle of the night kicking and screaming to burn them.
This is a place of justice.
We are not the wilds we oversaw.
Who makes a claim against this man?
Several villagers stand forward, each claiming in protest the loss of the town's butcher, Mr. Colbran Jabs, gone missing just this evening, only noticed by his neighbor,
who said he heard a struggle in the night and when he went to investigate that Colbran's backyard was laden with tracks made by small draconic footprints.
The town has been on edge.
This is enough.
We know the Kobolds have gone more brazen, that they have attacked.
We know of the wolf that has tried to stop our progress harvesting the forest.
These are the very same adventurers just this evening who brought me that wolf's head.
And you would claim them the ones responsible.
The crowd is silent.
Dumbasses.
We, we're the ones doing something for you people.
You want to drag someone out of their bed?
Drag your masters.
Points off at the mansion.
Almost as if on cue, a light thudding in the dirt gives way to none other than Payday.
There you are, big boy!
Well, well, well.
Good old-fashioned execution, eh?
Why are we here?
What crime does the guilty stand for?
Apparently, they're missing a butcher.
We need a butcher so bad, I make sausage.
Not now, Rudy.
There is no guilty party here.
Well, that remains to be seen.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
So why is he tied to a pole about to be set on fire?
Well, he won't be set ablaze unless he's convicted before a jury of his peers.
These are not his peers.
This is judgment for Falcons Hollow.
The creeds know no crime goes unpunished.
Billson touts his axe up to his shoulder.
There should be honor.
There should be a trial.
There must be a way to prove this man's guilt before he's set aflame.
We are not barbarous peoples of the wilds.
His innocence.
Ohhhh.
Then I shall stand as Judge and Jura.
That's bullshit.
This is payday.
Look at him, big guy.
You want to let me down, fella?
He points to the crowd.
One of you, bring me a chair and a gavel.
Before long, the crowd produces a stool that he seats his massive rear end on,
and they place a small wooden block before him and give him a small wooden hammer.
What is this kangaroo court?
Very well.
If you are not guilty, if you have nothing to hide for the loss of our dear, dear butcher,
make your case.
Where were you when the butcher disappeared?
I was either sleeping or killing the thing that you told me to kill.
Oh, a very righteous and convenient excuse.
Tell me, was anyone in the room resting with you?
I was.
And you were in the room present.
Yes.
Roll deception.
This is really bad.
PP! PP!
It's not even worth it.
Yeah, it is.
It's not, because I get a negative.
Give me that bag.
You're going to get me killed.
Let's see.
Oh, wow.
16.
Hmm.
Could be the case.
Does anyone here have evidence to the contrary?
You know there are more than one kobold, right?
There's a whole tribe of kobolds in those woods.
And they're kind of pissed at you guys for what you're doing to the woods.
We're trying to help.
I have evidence.
Standing forward is Urgen Talk.
I have here a writ from Sheriff Bailson.
A room each for our adventurers.
If they each had a room, what reason would the dwarf have to spend the night with the kobold?
He's in love with him.
Yes.
The crowd murmurs.
I heard him myself.
We were in those ruins yesterday, and he called him baby.
I disagree with all of this.
That did happen.
Baby, I don't know.
Don't you see?
Is it therefore your testimony before the court that you are in fact a witness?
I was with him all day and all night.
Shut the hell up, Urgen. What the hell?
He's missing.
And you think my little ass did this?
We spent a good amount of time last night in the office with the sheriff.
My friends died for you people.
I would speak on their behalf, says Bailson.
I have only known them a short time, but they have been honorable, only seeking to do what they can for us, the good folk of Falcons Hollow.
They have struck out three times now, into the wilds, into Droskar's Crucible where none go now.
They have battled beasts, spilled blood, lost their own, and yet they come back.
Why would anyone do such a thing if they only sought to harm us?
See reason, people of Falcons Hollow.
And see the reasons nobody wants to come back here.
And why would we bring all this attention on ourselves if we wanted to do something sneaky and cowardly, like take someone in the night?
I chose to sleep in a bed last night because we had a victory.
I don't need to sleep in this town. Why would I kill someone and then sleep in the town?
Why indeed are you thou?
What other evidence do we put forward against the accused?
What evidence do you have that it is this specific kobold, when there is a tribe of kobolds in those woods just beyond?
And what evidence do you offer forward that this one of them is not in fact one of them?
What time did your butcher go missing?
Witnesses! A few of the townsfolk stand forward, giving various accounts of what they witnessed in the backyard.
It's not much, really.
So many people have been through that yard after the happenings that much of the evidence has been trampled.
But one of them, the neighbor to Butcher Cobran, says that he saw, after he heard screaming in the night, him being carried away by kobolds.
This is the only evidence they have.
Listen, the kobolds, they are called the True Scales.
If we find a True Scale, they will deny that Scarab is part of their tribe.
Easy, we hate each other. I don't like kobolds any more than any of you do.
We met one yesterday.
Coward. Idiot.
You who saw the kobolds carrying away your butcher, did any single one of them have Golden Scales?
He's a middle-aged man balding. He looks nervous at the entire situation as it unfolded.
And a stone woman is yelling at him.
Choose your words wisely.
Well, no. None of them had Golden Scales.
Dumbass!
There's no really a reason as why that would remove him from blame, but...
What color is your skin?
Well, that's racist.
And what color are your kin?
It's as easy as that. If you want to make it racist, we can make it racist, but I'm gold because of the gold dragons.
I never made a claim against you, friend.
Well, here I am about to die.
I saw you make trade with Kobryn many a time.
He turns to the crowd.
I don't know why a traveler who's come before back again, this is Scarab, friend trader.
He should not be held guilty.
Scarab looks to the sky, trying to put on his best angle.
Monet throws her hands up like, even your sole main witness does not think that this kobold did it.
Whether or not this one was the one responsible is irrelevant.
If he goaded his kin into taking one of our own, then we should seek righteous justice upon them all.
Now you're just making shit up.
This would just be the first of many.
You're not looking for justice. You're looking for murder.
My dear lady, Thaldrin Creed and his kind do not deal in murder.
Is the accused to be charged?
No.
Bailson speaks up.
I would place a life debt. I will take his place.
If they can prove that they were not the ones responsible, then that will be that.
And if not, if they should...
He turns to you to look.
If they should flee and leave Falcons Hollow behind, then I will be at the mercy of the court.
Fucking stupid. You're all dumbasses.
Sheriff Bailson? Well, this is a most noble act.
Such generosity from someone who's only ever been so standoffish.
Then the court will grant your mercy. A life debt. Untie the kobold.
The crowd moves in, and before long you are set free.
But if you are unable to rid us of these non-allied kobolds that you claim,
then I'm afraid your poor share of sacrifice will have been in vain.
I don't want to rip your fucking face off, you piece of shit.
Very well. Creed will hear of this, and it will be known.
This court is adjourned, and its ruling is law.
Payday stands up, knocking over the stool he's on, and he waddles off into the night.
The crowd begins to disperse, until you are left alone, the three of you, and Sheriff Bailson.
Sheriff? Is this an every night kind of jamboree, like?
No, no.
Your skilled friend is right.
There's been no mob justice in Falkens Hollow for near a hundred years.
Not since the hags. We need to defeat the Creed's. We need to end Creed control over this place.
You can't do that in one night.
Then I cannot promise you your life, Sheriff.
I know.
Wait, so we have one night?
No. Sorry. Don't read it that way.
Turn a phrase. Run one bill in the day. That kind of deal.
It's like Colonel Cop was telling the sheriff, revolution doesn't happen overnight, but it starts somewhere.
And it's always bad before it gets anywhere good.
If a government is awful and corrupt, plucking it out just leaves a vacuum.
Damn. Well, I definitely have fears of working through the consortium. You think they'll still give us a reward?
How are we to fight these kobolds if we're not allowed to leave Falkens Hollow?
It's through my offer that you are able to leave Falkens Hollow. I will have to confine myself to my office.
No doubt the Creed's will send guard to make sure I do not leave.
You will be free to come and go as long as my offering remains. They do not want you.
While I assume that this has nothing or very little to do with the Creed's, I have always been in their eye.
There was no winning that trial.
Payday wanted me, and it was only through me that you were able to go free.
Are you the only bastion for justice here?
I'm no bastion. Just a man with an axe and a sense for what's right.
You'll have to do what you've already said how to do.
Explore the Crucible. Route the kobolds that have taken root.
And hopefully you make it back in time to save my skin.
Mighty honorable of you. God damn it. What did I say?
God damn it. Mighty honorable of you.
Well, we will do this. We'll not let you down, Traf.
I really don't want to lose this place as a market through. The traffic is pretty good.
I need to be able to sell here.
This is ridiculous.
They'll take this from me. He lifts his axe off of his shoulder, holding it down at his side.
The reeds won't see me armed. It's cleaved more than a few in its fair day.
Hopefully I can do the same for you. And he holds it out to you.
Oh. Anybody going to take it?
No.
Oh. Thank you. Take good care of us.
Damn. I hate mob justice.
It's gross.
So it's wrong.
Bunch of cowards. Bunch of sheeple.
We've lived our whole lives striking out against the harsh outer world.
By right, we shouldn't even be here. Sometimes we become comfortable with that.
And there are times of peace even under tyranny.
And other times, well, other times things beyond our control happen and the people are reminded of the cruel world around them.
I believe in you. All of you.
Y'all hear this music? This man's going to die.
I heard the music too and I was like, oh, this is a good time for a little monologue.
For the listener, we're listening to Gandalf dying.
You fools.
That was so good.
Damn, man. You're taking it real serious. You're not dead yet.
Give us a minute. We'll do our best.
If there are two things I'm good at, it's selling stuff and running away.
Oh, damn.
Hope you guys are good at freeing this man.
And I'm all out of stuff to sell.
What's going on with this axe?
Does it got any pluses? Is it good?
Is it good?
It is a plus one great axe.
Oh, oh.
Sheriff, these kobolds, have they ever made any demands?
None. Before you came back to town, there had been a resurgence.
Resurgence and uprising, if you will.
The Outerlands became hostile.
We had heard before that kobolds had been nestling somewhere out in the Vale,
but they kept themselves for a while.
And then months ago, they just resurged, striking out at traveler, forester, hunter, anyone.
And then they retreated. Before you came back, we thought they were gone, or at the very least at peace.
Something is happening.
Something has happened.
I fear it's only now that we're beginning to see what it truly is.
Strange disease, angry monsters.
For them to come into a town, not in mass, it's very pointed.
Yeah, why, why kidnap? Why not steal?
And a butcher!
Exactly.
Perhaps we could look. I could take you to the butcher's house. You could see for yourselves.
Yes.
Sounds good. I'd like to compare my craft.
I'd like to finish sleeping first, though.
Yes, I'm not wearing any armor. My AC is 14 right now.
Well, I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night. Thank you.
I'm not fully rested yet.
I got one sausage too many.
I mean, I guess if you don't have the time later...
I'll go.
I'd be happy to go with you now. I'm not a big baby.
That's fine.
There's no time limit per se, but the creeds will send their men for me soon.
So you're cool if we have two long rests before we leave town.
I'm really tired.
Hey, they waddle very slowly, that is sure. So I imagine we have three days before they get the news.
It might suck, but please, please go outside.
Please, oh god. Oh, they're sleeping in again. Crazy, I'm sure they have it on night number three.
Yes, let's go check the butcher's house.
They still haven't left their hotel. Why haven't they helped me at all?
My god, I'm doomed.
I just have a question for you, Sheriff.
Is there going to be combat at the butcher's house? Because if there is, like, I really should rest.
Well, I just gave away my axe, so I hope not.
Okay. It's a good sign.
It's fair.
Yeah, yeah, he's right. Okay.
Hey, it's either you die on the stick or you die at the butcher's house.
Die on the stick.
I'm sorry.
As you walk through the street in the night, he gradually leads you to a rather modest looking cottage.
In the front of it hangs a butcher's sign. It seems that the butcher works and lives in the same location.
Surrounding the house is a small picket fence, barely waist high. Even you, Scarab, are slightly taller than the fence.
So we're here. Scarab would like to, like, immediately start checking for cobalt tracks, signs of, you know, the whole 20.
Sheriff Bailson leads you over the fence or through the fence, depending on your height, towards the back.
Mr. Bonds, he was the witness that spoke against you. Said he was the neighbor.
Said that he saw kobolds dragging him off in the night.
And as you begin to look around, go ahead and roll me a nature check.
Or survival, rather.
Nature or survival?
Survival, expressly. I have misspoke.
I got a 17.
I got a 10. I got a 10.
Nine.
Although, if I'm looking for... not that I have, like, a specific cobalt.
Would I be able to do hunt prey on this prey to help me search for it?
Or would I have to, like, find the track and then...
You could hunt prey from the track, or you could try to hunt prey on...
Like, if I knew if it was a named cobalt, I'd be able to, like, focus on that cobalt and possibly have that help me out against my knowledge.
But I don't have, like, a specific... but yeah.
I'll just wait until I find something concrete, I guess.
I think the way it works is if you find evidence of it, you can hunt prey on that.
Yes. You could be like, these tracks, that's my prey, and then you could try to find out who they belong to.
I couldn't use it before those tracks, necessarily.
Who are you currently tracking? Because you were on the warg before, who is now gone.
It was the warg. So now it would be whatever cobalt or cobalts did this, but I figure... that's why I asked.
I figure I would have to find the track before...
Yes. So yeah.
Bonus-wise, I got you.
So what'd you all get?
Uh... 17.
10.
9.
Yeah. As you look around, you see that indeed there have been a lot of people coming through here.
Likely whoever ended up carousing the mob led others here for evidence, and there are footprints all over this backyard that have muddied everything.
But, Scarab, as you inspect, you do see at the edge of the yard towards the back that there are, in fact, cobalt prints that appear to be dragging someone.
Okay.
Presumably this Mr. Colbrin. You also recognize this to be eerily similar to, although not the same as, the tracks you found originally at the camp at Ulys Milla's Circle.
So it seems the same sort of MO. Couple MOs. Or a couple MOs.
A couple cobalts ambush and surprise an individual, lock them down and drag them away.
Okay, so... a next...
It's worth noting that the Butcher's House is on the edge of the village, and the tracks seem to lead underneath the fence and off into the wild, heading in the direction of the forest, the Vale.
So, yeah. We definitely have a path.
Um, we could check the house. Something I'm curious about is any signs of blood.
Uh, roll me another.
You can give me a perception on this one.
Okay.
Can.
Yeah, all of you can. You can look for blood.
Twenty.
Looking for blood.
Yeah, cause I'm...
Cause it seems like...
Twenty-seven.
They're dragging away these people. It doesn't seem like they're killing them beforehand.
No, they need them alive.
What was that?
Seventeen.
The two of you do end up spying amidst the mess in the yard. There is a small, what seems to be like a small spray of blood.
Not enough to be lethal, but enough that you assume maybe somebody was bludgeoned over the back of the head.
Yeah, a quiet down hit.
Are there any scales?
None.
It seems whatever happened happened quickly and without evidence aside from the small amount of blood.
Either these people are being dragged away for live feedings.
Or these kobold need a tradesman.
Could have something to do with the quest for eternal life. Maybe they're being experimented on.
The quest for eternal life?
Ah, yes.
When I first came to town I briefly mentioned to you, Sheriff, that Drun'gar, one of my distant cousins, and he started writing a book in Apsalom.
Speaking of possible eternal life, and the answer was at the Crucible.
In the Crucible, living skeletons of dwarves, I fought them with my last party.
And also deep in the woods, a zombified kobold.
Then there is more at play than we see. I know not what they need with a butcher or a huntsman.
We're pretty good at cutting.
Seems like they're just getting the easiest prey. As the butcher lives on the edge of town, the hunter was in the forest.
Next to the hag's house.
I wasn't there. This is all something Scarab told me.
I totally told him this on the way.
I remember that.
You were there too. Everyone in town. They should really know what we're up to.
I have no idea why they got so angry. They were there.
It's a whole thing. Live broadcast.
It's time for me to go. Find them. Find what they're up to. And stop it.
First thing in the morning.
After breakfast.
Yes. Do you like sausage?
With all my life.
Oh. Well meet us at the Sitting Duck Inn. We'll whip up some breakfast sausage.
By then I'm sure the creeds will have my office under lock and key.
But I will dream of your sausage.
Maybe once you've cleared my name. Go.
Alright. You sure you don't want to hold on to this axe?
Oh don't tempt me.
She'll find her way home and if not, maybe she'll find her way buried into the head of my accuser.
I'll remember that.
I wish you luck for the last time.
It's very dramatic.
Scarab. I hope to see you again.
And if you don't, it's because I fear death.
As do we all.
And he turns and walks back into town.
I love you too.
Hey pal, I'm sorry but I think he's kind of into Sausage Boy.
I think so too.
I have my way around people. It's okay.
Just swaying in sausage.
Don't be ashamed.
Oh Trunka.
Oh.
We meet here tomorrow. We meet here. At this gate.
We travel the path they traveled.
Agreed.
Understood.
I won't be sleeping in that bar tonight.
Nope, me neither. I will go back for my stuff though.
Of course, they're good people I promise. Just a little racist.
Maybe someday I will realize that they're not good people.
But for now, I know them. They're just a little racist.
I know where I need to be. I'll see you in the morning.
Same.
Here at the Butchers in the morning.
Monet will go back to the inn.
Rootmore goes with you.
Gets his stuff out of the room and...
He starts to walk out and then he's just like, fuck.
Nowhere to sleep. And then he goes back into the room and closes the door and
pushes the dresser in front of the door.
Well, what the what? No one heard him.
He hides.
He slides the butcher's body under the bed.
But he does like, stop before he goes to bed and
just falls on his knees.
And looks up.
Torek, forgive me. I've failed you tonight.
I've lied. But please see it as to save someone's life.
And then he goes to bed.
It's an anathema to lie as a worshiper of Torek.
Dang.
Yeah.
Dang, bro.
Maybe Scarab will know the weight of that someday.
I can't believe you'd do that.
Yeah, it was in the moment.
You know, he's hoping for forgiveness for the reason of why he lied.
It wasn't for selfish gain or anything, but...
Maybe someday he'll realize that the reason he lied is because he wished that he was in that room that night.
Because he does love Scarab.
It's just a love triangle.
I love Scarab. The sheriff loves me.
Scarab loves money.
Scarab, you got anything going on tonight?
Scarab is gonna whistle for Pig.
Pig's gonna come find him. He's gonna hop on Pig's back.
And they're gonna ride to Jacques' house.
Pig's gonna stay outside the front gate.
Scarab's gonna hop off his back.
And as quietly and sneakily as he can, Scarab's gonna open the little gate at the front.
Walk up to the front door.
Put the ring on the ground in front of the door.
Can you hear anything inside of the house?
Moral perception.
Fifteen.
Silent as the night, and the lights in the windows are dark.
Unless...
Can I say something?
Yeah, if you want to.
Jacques was...
I don't know if you wanted something to go on. Just giving nothing noticed.
Jacques was part of the mob, so he's not there.
Burn him!
It's definitely that guy!
He killed my dad!
I mean, if Scarab presses his... it's a small house.
Chicken coop.
It could just be a moment of like... if he wanted to, he could be listening in and the door could open.
What time is it?
Late middle of the night, probably... three-ish in the morning.
Scarab does hear footsteps inside approaching the door.
Yeah, he was like leaning down to put the...
Yeah, hearing the approaching, Scarab is going to quickly put the ring at the...
At the floor of the door.
And attempt to run and hide off at the side of the house.
Just off to the side.
I will let you know that the pig is clearly standing by the gate, and it's bigger than before.
But Scarab scampers.
After a couple of moments, Scarab from afar sees the door open and Jacques steps out.
Turning and closing the door behind him, he looks down and sees the ring.
He turns back and looks over his shoulder and sees Pig.
He leans down and picks up the ring, stepping inside, seeming to place... just kind of leaning in the door.
Seems like he places it on a surface nearby and then closes the door behind him.
Looks at Pig again and then walks away.
He has like a big wicker basket attached to his hip and he walks to...
A nearby field. Or a clear... you know, like a greenbelt.
And he just walks away.
Yeah. If the camera panned in on the Scarab who's hiding at the side of the house,
you would see a sadness in his eyes, but also like a small sigh of relief.
Glad to see the ghost is leaving the house.
Yeah, still dressed head to toe in his plague doctor getup.
But yeah, when he turned to look at Pig, he just kind of stared at him for a while.
And then turned as if he didn't see anything.
Come, Pig. Let's find a place to rest.
Thank you, guys.
Are you crying?
No, why thank you? Why thank you?
It's very sweet.
I care.
As you once again settle in for the night, one of you begins to hear in your sleep...
Tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong.
Rootmore, you find yourself following the tinging of an anvil.
I'm in big trouble.
Shit.
You look over your shoulder and you see behind you a massive, glorious and gleaming dwarf
with a beard almost made of fire.
Oh my god.
Working over an anvil, sparks flying as he hammers away.
Tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong.
Brithy, be careful.
He's in shock, he's in amazement, and he's terrifying.
He's a god-fearing man.
Yeah, this is awesome.
Like, holy shit.
He slowly walks up to where he just walks at an angle to where he will be seen.
I imagine he's holding his war hammer, the weapon of Toreg, and he takes a knee and lays the hammer on the ground
and just bows his head and doesn't say anything, he just waits.
As you approach, the figure seems to grow more distant and yet closer at the same time,
distorting this view of this dwarf that is before you, mountainous.
Enormous inside so you feel like an ant approaching it.
And as you bow down and wait, the effort does not stop.
You hear the toil of his work, the tong tong, tong tong.
His bulging muscles rippling with every strike against the steel as sparks fly beyond his beard,
which itself seems again made of flame, and piercing blue eyes gaze down upon you as the final hammer strike rings out.
Tong tong tong tong.
The figure leans over his anvil, a massive looming presence that fills you with an enormous sensation of pressure
and heat bearing down upon you.
Bright blazon, steely blue eyes glare down upon you behind furrowed red brow.
He's beautiful.
He points his massive hammer down at you, raises it up far over his shoulder,
and brings it down again on the anvil.
Tong tong.
Raises it up once more, far above you, casting you in shadow.
And the hammer raises up once again far over his shoulder,
before it comes hurtling down in your direction and you feel the pressure grow and grow before it stops.
Forgive me.
You can't help but look up in that moment and you see
the massive hammer of Torag mere inches from you.
But it's not the blunt of the hammer pointed at you, it's the flat of the head.
He gestures in your direction, his steely blue eyes staring down on you,
and he gives you a wry smile and a gentle nod before you hear once again
Tong tong.
And your eyes snap open to the first light of morning.
Oh my god.
It's terrifying.
Thank you, Torag.
I will not fail you again.
I gotta get my shit together. Where are my friends?
He gets up in front, at least that's putting his armor on.
Grabbing all his gear and heads straight for-
well, no, he's gonna make sausage first.
And then he'll go-
His daily toil.
And then he'll go to the Butcher's house.
You guys got anything going on?
Nah, Scarab would just do his normal daily of making a few bullets.
Ten to be exact.
Then as each of you wake in tow and perform your morning rituals,
you make your way to meet back at the Butcher's house,
where you find your companion Rootmoor in waiting,
gleaming armor and the fresh smell of seasoned sausage in the air.
Yeah, he's got a handful for each of y'all.
Here's one bulk of sausage.
Rootmoor, even as you've been waiting here for your companions to arrive,
you couldn't help but notice that throughout the early morning
several curious village passerbys would come by to peer over the fence
at what had happened the night prior, having heard the rumors in the morning.
There were even some who were there present the night prior,
and as they walked by they give you a confused, if not accusatory,
glance before quickly looking away when you see them.
The people can't help but be curious, and somewhat afraid.
What if it had been them, their friend, their neighbor?
Can't blame them. They're all weak, unfortunately.
Alas, we will find what the deal is with these damn corbels.
Shouldn't have let that one get away.
Yeah, well...
Oh, you, hi!
Hey buddy, you ready?
Yes. Didn't see ya.
Good. You shouldn't have.
Here, have some sausage.
I'm also here.
Just standing in the shade of the roof.
She's just standing there, and as you guys are greeting each other,
she's like, me too.
I've been sitting here for an hour, you've just been looking at me like an asshole.
I mean, I was listening. I just didn't have anything important to say, so...
Do you like some sausage?
You should eat.
Sure.
There you go.
It's really good.
Let me roll a crafting check on these sausages.
See how good they are?
That's a natural 20.
Oh, best sausage you've ever made.
As you bite into them, they have a wonderful snap.
The most delectable of juices in the meat is tender and well-seasoned.
It fills your mouth with flavor and joy.
It's gonna be a good day.
Mone starts crying.
Imagine if every bite of that juicy sausage popped the same as that first bite of the juicy sausage.
It just constantly popped, like, oh my goodness.
Oh, lord, how many casings are in this?
Am I rolling a nat 20 now? I want a sausage.
I know. Little waste.
Woo-wee.
Glistening.
Will it always go back?
That's my good roll for the day.
It's fantastic.
I say we just follow these tracks.
See where they go.
Keep your eyes open.
Perhaps they'll go...
Perhaps they'll go back to the Crucible.
But maybe not.
They might not.
Very good.
Do you have a...
Om?
Do you om?
Yeah. Right here. Here you go.
Do you om?
Uh, do you...
Do you have a quest update for me for the Darkmoon Beast?
Because the two things I...
The two bullet points I have for the Darkmoon Beast are we found a warg in the woods in front of some ruins
and guarded by wolves.
The warg and the wolves are dead. Hobgoblin said something about a hole in the ground with stairs going down.
Yeah, for Darkmoon Beast it would be return the head to Jarlbane and inform him of his logger's safety.
Yeah, we could do that on the way out.
Yeah, I was just worried about the villagers.
I mean, it'd be cool if we can get a reward.
I mean, you got a free night plus meal and drink, which you all went to bed without the meal and drink
and I'm sure that...
What's her name?
Ergen?
Yes, Ergen. Ergen Tok. I'm sure that Tok would honor the food and drink portion of it.
Even though she accused the boy?
She was saying her part.
She presented evidence called apart by the creeds.
Because that's something to pay in mind. Just because somebody supplies the creeds with what they need doesn't mean that they're against you.
They're just absolutely not against the creed.
Yeah, and it wasn't to save their own ass.
Exactly.
And it wasn't necessarily like, he did it because of this. It was like, here's these facts that I have.
Not necessarily helpful to us, but not detrimental either.
I was presented with this very evening for a room for each of these adventurers.
Plus she watched a mob flash through her tavern and drag someone out and very much follow them into the crowd.
We'll just need to bring more heads back.
Kobold head?
The butcher's head.
It's proof!
He's still preferably attached to his body and still alive.
But if he's dead?
Then there's an open market for me.
This is wrong. We shouldn't talk about this. This calls for town. They're gonna hear us. Let's go.
They're getting 5-0 behind us.
I heard the dwarf wanted to replace the butcher.
So we're going to go talk to the people or no?
Yeah, we can drop the head off, see if we get a reward.
Honestly, Scarab's gonna stay out of it. Just in case. He doesn't want to deal with them. He's clearly not necessarily welcome. I don't know.
No problemo, boy. We can walk in there, turn the head in.
You do recall when you first came to town that there was kind of a weirdness about when they saw you, especially with the two bird folk walking around.
The loggers referred to y'all as beasts or monsters.
That was already a sentiment before all of this. So I think that maybe wanting to lie a little low is probably a safe bet.
Yeah, totally cool with it. He'll wait out in the field with Pig.
Transpone, stop yawning. Did you not sleep last night?
I did. It's just that breakfast sausage.
Ah, yes. That's when you know it's good. It makes you want to take a nap.
I'm ready to sleep.
First thing in the morning.
Let's go turn this gross head in. It's really starting to smell.
Yeah, it is a shame because there's also that scent of the breakfast sausage and it makes me hungry, but nauseous at the same time.
That's weird.
Like that's a weird feeling. Let's go.
Who's carrying the head?
I've got the head.
Okay. You make your way to the lumber camps and as you approach, Scarab and Pig wait off to the side as the two of you make your way within.
As you approach, there are many of the workers who are on their way out to begin logging and they make their way out of the front gate and they see you approach and they see the head of the beast in your hands and many of them can't help but stop and gait and stare as you walk by.
Before long, you find yourself in the center of the lumber yard.
And there you see Yarlben, the great, large man with his red hair and red beard, and he's in the middle of barking orders to others to get to work and grab their tools and be ready and he turns and he sees you approach and he stops mid-sentence.
Excuse me? Are you Yarlben?
Aye, that's me. Who are you?
Ah, the ones who killed the large warg and he presents the head.
We were told to bring this to you.
He is openly amazed.
Completely taken aback, his silence is broken as he snaps back to reality.
Oh, there's no gravity.
Woah!
And who told you to bring this to me?
I got a scarab.
That wee little bugger, he did it.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. He did it! Men gather round!
And the loggers begin to convalesce around you.
You see that there?
And he points at the beast's head.
There, the great gray pelt beast, gone, laid bare before you.
My friends, I don't know how to thank you.
Money wouldn't hurt.
Quite short on change. We're actually heading back there.
To clear out the threats.
Well, money, eh?
Ah, okay, hold tight.
He turns around and he moves back to his office.
He's gone behind the door for a moment and you can hear the loggers whispering and murmuring to each other in amazement at the beast's head.
You want to hold it?
They recoil.
Pretty cool, huh?
Pretty gross.
As he returns, he's having behind him a small bag and a bottle.
And he says, well, you know, we're not too wealthy as we are, but consider...
Considering I asked you a great personal favor and you are stopping my men from dying, I can't help but feel you ought to be rewarded.
And so here you are.
And he hands you a bag.
And the bag clinks as he drops it into your hand.
And for your trouble, one of these.
And he hands you a bottle.
What is it?
Well, it's Brandy.
Quite good Brandy at that.
Wow.
Nice.
I hope you'll toss back a drink in celebration of your victory, because I know that we will as soon as you're gone.
We don't want to party with you.
Thank you.
Yes, we thank you.
There is one more thing you could do for us.
Oh, aye?
Speak highly of the Kobold Scarab and let people know what he's done for you.
Well, without our fair share of runnings with Kobolds, bye.
He's done us a kindness, and he's never done my men no harm.
At least, far as I can.
But...
Your gunshots ring off in the yard.
These men have seen your deed.
And rest assured when they go home, the rest will know.
Now, hand me that hoo-hee beastie's head.
Ah, yes, there you go.
All yours.
He takes the head and he follows you to the front gate, and as he gets there, to the front, he takes the head and places it on a torch mount, and then takes the back of his axe and slams into it, mounting it in place.
Let this be a warning to all other beasties that the men of Falcon's Hollow are not to be trifled with.
The men cheer and clap, now get back to work, you lazy sods!
Before they all disperse and shuffle about.
Tile, tile.
There's a Minotaur and an Etton looking over the wall, and they're like, damn!
Do you want to mess with these guys?
Not here!
Well, Rudy, I'd say that went pretty well.
Dude, I got a bag full of candy.
I got Blandy!
I don't think that's candy, I think it's money, actually.
Oh!
Let me open it up.
You feel a great hand on each of your shoulders as he leans in over you.
Now, I don't normally do this, but thank you.
I didn't want to say it in front of the men, but I really appreciate what you did.
Now, they're all a bunch of sods, asses, and farts, but they're my sods, asses, and farts, and I don't want to lose anymore if I can.
So, thank you.
And if you see that little shiny bugger, tell him he's got a friend in Yorbul.
Is he hot?
You said that?
Ginger Hagrid?
Yeah. Is he Ginger Hagrid?
Yeah, he's Ginger Hagrid.
Oh, I mean...
Couple scars.
Okay.
Very good.
Gives you both a clap on the back, and then turns about yelling at other people to do more shit.
Have a sausage.
Delicious.
He says to the open air.
Oh!
Best sausage you've ever ate drops it on the ground.
Nice guy.
The dendorag's name drops it.
Funny.
Okay, we'll go back to Scarab.
Guess how much gold is in this bag?
Yeah, as you open the bag and look, you estimated to be about 170 silver.
Hell yeah, thank you.
Okay.
Nice.
Yeah, it's not bad.
Very good, very good.
Keep the silver between us.
Don't tell Scarab.
Understood.
Just kidding, no.
Oh, okay.
Never would have had this job if it weren't for him.
I would never, unless...
Actually, if I'm not mistaken, I think you're contractually obliged to hand over all of that silver.
Well, that's neither here nor there, anyway.
I do like your humor, though.
Alright.
Oh, mm-hmm.
Ha ha ha ha, look over there, slips of gold in his pockets.
Very funny of you, look, look somewhere else.
Scarab, we came out on top.
What does that mean?
170 silver.
Oh, nice.
And a bottle of brandy.
Yes.
Was he happy that you brought him the head or he just wanted to give you money for it?
Very happy.
Okay.
He was happy.
He said thank you.
He's not a bad guy, not a bad guy.
He said you're always welcome there, you're a friend.
Ah, still don't feel safe, but he's cool.
Understand.
Okay, but hey, money, money.
Yes.
Let's continue following this trail.
I guess there's only one way to go.
You made it big.
It went all over the screen.
Mm-hmm.
Why do you speak so cryptically?
I don't think that was cryptic, I think.
Well, for the people that can't see the screen, you sure as shit was.
You made it big.
All over the screen.
I pushed F11 on my computer.
They covered the full of the screen.
They did.
Making Roll20 all over the screen.
Yeah.
I just didn't see him press F11, so I was like, how'd that happen?
How big?
How big that?
How big is this?
How did you big this?
No.
You double back and resume the trail of the town's butcher.
Before long, you realize it runs parallel to an earlier set of tracks.
As it meets and travels along the river deeper and deeper into the woods, once again,
new tracks dug over old lead you back to the crucible.
The muddy prints lead through the front door before winding down the halls through the room that smells of fetid wet dog.
And before you, you find yourself in the great warg's chamber, standing before a staircase carved into the ground surrounded by a circle interlaid with dwarves symbols.
Some carved and re-carved in a staircase that leads below into the dark.
As you stand here at the precipice of this descent, once again, you think of all you've had to endure to get here.
And in the silence, you hear the faintest whispers of words, unintelligible.
The sound of skittering, dripping in the squeal of rats.
Scarab pulls out his gun and you hear a zzzzzzzzzz.
It would be a good spot to stop.
I like it.
The curse, what were you gonna say?
I was gonna say, if we're not stopping, the next thing I was gonna say wasn't like a cool thing.
It was, I'm gonna do a perception check on the stairs.
So like, it's not-
And we'll see the result next week.
Yeah, so that wouldn't be like a very good place to stop.
Yeah, the stairs.
I'm like, are we still going?
Okay, sorry.
Here, you wanna read it at the exact same time?
Oh, shut up.
Do you wanna read it?
I don't care.
I'll read it.
No, no, no, no.
I know, it's cause it was funny.
I'm not very good at reading it.
But I think it's kinda funny that I'm not good at reading.
I wasn't either until I started doing intros and stuff.
Now I've gotten like really good at, I mean, okay.
Sorry, just sucking my own back.
Why is it?
I mean, pat myself on the dick.
The Cursed Caravan uses-
Sorry, just pat myself on the dick.
You're the worst.
Cause I just imagined that being at the beginning of it.
And it made me laugh.
Pat myself on the dick. The Cursed Caravan is my-
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Love you, Paizo.
Let's be friends.
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The Cursed Caravan theme music and the beat you are hearing now
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Thank you, Matt.
Thank you, Cody.
Mm-hmm. Baby?
Baby.
We would like to thank Michael Gelfie Studios,
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Check out their Patreon and YouTube links in the description.
Thank you, Michael Gelfie.
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Thank you for being a traveler upon this, the Caravan that is, in fact, cursed.
It's the Cursed Caravan. Thanks.
See you later, skaters.
Bye-bye.
Hey, bye.
Bye-bye.
We make a lot of money from the beer company and the quality.
Cody, it's kind of up to you to bring us in, brother.
I really want to thank you for the first candidate on the podcast,
Monsters by Chickens.
I mean...
You can't just...
I mean...
You can't start a campaign like that.
Well, you've all made your character sheets and, I mean...
Well, you hear...
What do you do?
What are we doing?
I kind of know what you do to know what happens.
I don't know.
You know what I did already.
Last time on the Cursed Caravan Podcast.