Last time, on Crown of the Copold King, our heroes continue pushing through the mysterious
abandoned crucible.
Doing their best to avoid combat with the wolves, they stumble across secret holding
cells containing long dead skeletal dwarves.
The skeletons rise and combat ensues.
One corpse does not rise and a ring of torag is found on her finger.
The party continues deeper into the ruin and finally finds the large menacing warg.
Our heroes try to convince the warg that they are on the same side and want to fix the problems
at Falcon's Hollow, but he wasn't having it.
The warg and his wolves attack Kavkorn, and that gives Jacques and Scarab time to flee.
The colonel meets his end and the others retreat back to Falcon's Hollow.
Our story continues now.
Two weeks ago, we find ourselves in a beautiful summer day, a little hot, but not enough to
ruin the occasion.
Life has drastically changed in the past month, but in the best way possible.
He stands in front of a mirror, checking and double checking his armor.
It must look perfect.
He declined a fancy suit for this event in his life.
He is happy and excited, but also a little nervous.
That's normal, right?
There is a knock at the door and he hears a muffled voice.
Having second thoughts in there, colonel?
It's about to start!
Everyone's waiting!
Colonel Kavkorn straightens up and adjusts one more strap before exiting the dressing
room.
It's perfect.
He makes his way down the hall and strides outside towards a gazebo, shaded by the edge
of the Darkmoon Vale forest.
Family and friends, all sitting in chairs, turn to face Kavkorn and cheer.
He makes his way to the gazebo and stands with a permanent smile.
The band starts to play and everyone excitedly stands and turns towards the back.
A beautiful bird-like figure in a white gown walks down the aisle, longest neck on this
side of the Minespin Mountains.
She and the colonel lock eyes and smile.
After the wedding, they happily jog to a waiting carriage, friends and family tossing rice
at the newlywed couple.
Another figure awkwardly stands by the carriage, staying about arms-length away from the rest
of the crowd.
He's dressed in black, holding a cane at his side.
He too has a long neck and is wearing a plague doctor's mask.
The bride runs to the man and gives him a big hug.
My dear, you've made it!
Kabi, come meet my son!
Jokriok Krekchitok!
She happily pushes Kavkorn forward towards Jok.
45 years old, he never thought he would ever find love.
He also gets a son too?
Can things get any better?
Without a word, the colonel lunges forward and embraces his new stepson.
My boy!
He quietly says as a tear runs down his face.
He is too excited to notice Jok trying to squirm out of the hug.
The family lets out an awww, but the mood quickly shifts.
People start to gasp in terror.
Jok looks over Kornokavkorn's shoulder with his long neck to see his mother collapsed
on the ground, clutching her stomach.
He pushes the colonel out of the way and runs to his mother.
He kneels down and she looks at him in pain and horror in her eyes.
She coughs and a few grains of rice trickle out of her beak.
She reaches up and touches Jok's face.
Her eyes close and her hand limply falls to the ground.
Her throat rice at a wedding.
As the two of you stand and face the forest, you can't help but feel the oppressive darkness
from within.
You can't shake the overwhelming feeling that you're being watched and even as you stare
into the dark canopy, you almost see the flitting and squirming of shadows in the darkness moving
beyond.
But there are no pursuers and there's no time to wait.
So you turn yourselves back down the dusty road headed back into town and pass by the
lumber camps trudging through the dusty roads until once again you find yourself underneath
the gates to Falcon's Hollow.
You can't help but feel the almost mocking intent of the sign that hangs there only for
the foolish and the brave.
As you make your way further into town, you can't help but wonder what next?
What now?
Where is Jok heading?
I would figure Scarab would walk Jok home.
Yeah, I think walking back into town seeing that sign, Jok would probably...
Idiot.
And just head down, walk home.
Scarab would follow with Pagan tow.
Yeah I think he'd just walk straight home and walking through the front gate, he'd stop,
not turn around without turning back to Scarab.
You can stay here for the night, but you'll need to be gone by morning.
That's a foolish endeavor.
Jok, thank you for your help that you've given me.
You can see he's like staring at the ground.
I have been a coward.
I have run away.
I have left my problems behind.
And I have dealt with it on my own time.
I will leave you here.
He reaches into his belt and pulls out like a big needle, basically like a pen that doesn't
write.
He reaches around to his back, pries off a scale.
Oh, here.
He pats Jok on the back to get his attention and holds this scale out, the small gold scale.
Jok turns his head to the side, takes the scale, and he quickly puts it in his esoterica
bag.
So you, you can run and you can hide and you can be safe.
Maybe you can use this to call upon a friend.
Just one last thing.
Those mushrooms.
Jok reaches into his bag, produces the mushrooms.
Do you want to go with?
He turns to Scarab.
I would rather be a coward than a dead fool.
And he just like slams the mushrooms into Scarab's hand.
Good.
The Colonel made his mistakes.
Yeah.
He was an idiot.
Yes.
And I will not follow in his dead footsteps.
Good.
Be safe.
Goodbye.
He was going to walk inside.
Goodbye, Jok.
Good.
Safe.
Picked up a few tricks from me, I see.
Come on, pig.
We have to walk into danger.
Scarab's going to walk away from the house, go back and fight the wolf.
No, he's going to stare out into the street.
He's going to look at these mushrooms and think to himself, what?
Why?
Why am I doing this?
Why these mushrooms?
Just to help, to help her?
He's going to hold on to the mushrooms and
he's going to head to the low market.
You make your way across town to the lower markets, a path you've traveled multiple times.
And as you enter the markets themselves, you're greeted with the familiar sounds of coin exchanging
hand, the familiar smells of less than fresh vegetables, and the slight sweet sting of
semi-rotted meat.
Yeah.
Let's head to the goose and gander in the low markets.
The goose and gander.
As he's walking up to the building, maybe there's like some trash bins outside that
say please recycle and all that.
He's going to pull out the contract signed by Jok and Colonel Cobcorn.
He's going to rip it in half and he's going to drop it either on the ground or if there's
a receptacle in the receptacle.
Sure.
As you do, you don't see it, but there's a poetic moment where the one half that says
Cobcorn gets covered up by Jok and then you walk away without ever seeing that cool thing.
Anyway.
As he burst through the doors, he says, moving on.
As you burst through the doors, you find yourself inside the goose and gander and it is a cavernous
mess of a general store.
You see shelves that go on far longer than what should be the end of the building and
the shelves are packed with all kinds of knickknacks, doodads, whatcha call it's and who's it's.
You can see he kind of like smirks.
To your left is a rather large counter upon which a gnome stands and he greets you with
a flourish.
Well, hello, Brackensnog, Hildrassox at your service.
Welcome to the goose and gander.
Now what can I get for you today?
Oh, Brackensnog.
Like you don't know me.
Scaramouche, old devil, I thought that was you.
Oh, couldn't see me behind all the things that you didn't get yourself.
Well, you glimmer like gold.
It's hard to see.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're so good at selling.
Just got some scale polishing just this week.
Somewhere.
Did you get a big shipment of goods?
Maybe three days ago.
Well, not to my knowledge.
Anything with my stamp on it?
No, no, Scarab.
No one would buy that.
Look, any word of my cart.
I lost it, you see?
My goods.
You lost your goods?
Keep to keep, man.
That's not cool.
No.
What happened to your cart?
I don't remember.
I woke up in the street.
That is a dizzy of a doozy.
My pig.
Lightfoot.
Gone.
Well, I haven't gotten a pig in months.
I had a traveling party.
Okay.
They're all dead.
Every one of them.
Don't look them up.
Colonel Cobcorn.
Dead.
Jacques.
Cobcorn.
Dead.
All dead.
You mean that nice gentleman who lived up the road?
Dead.
Gone.
Do you have any big boys I can use?
Look, I know your little ass isn't carrying all this stuff in here.
Is there anyone that can help me find my cart?
They're like literally the same size.
Never let it be said that Brackensner never did his friends no good.
I know you're good.
You're good for it, right buddy?
That being said, I don't have anyone.
Damn.
I've got loads of crap I could help though, probably somewhere mixed in all of this crap.
But no, I don't have any people.
It pains my merchant heart, my soul of coins to see a fellow competitor down on his luck.
Tell you what.
Sense matters.
You're not fair.
I know.
In hopes that you'll get back on your feet and rekindle the spirit of our competition,
you can have a look on the shelves.
On me.
Just once.
Oh, scared looks.
Low, low on the shelves.
What does he see?
Shotgun.
Shotgun of ward killing.
Hold up.
50 cow machine gun.
The shop has mechanics.
Just give me a second.
Roll me a D10.
Lucky number seven.
As you stoop low and begin to kind of scavenge between all of the, again, for lack of a better
word, crap, there's so many objects just piled on each other that it's hard at times to even
know what you're looking at.
And so boldly you just kind of jam your little claw into a pile of stuff and you feel and
grip something and as you pull it out, you find a scroll in your hands.
Oh.
Fancy.
Yes, Scarab's going to pull this out and he's going to like turn his back so the gnome
can't see him.
He wants to try to identify the scroll if he can.
Go for it.
17.
As you unfurl the weathered parchment, you can pick up the distinct runes that make out
a scroll of restoration.
From his high perch on top of the counter, he can't help but notice what you found.
Oh, Brackensnard, you foolish, foolish fool.
Yes, so Scarab's going to roll it up really tight, not noticing, but the gnome is just
looking over his shoulder.
He's going to slide uphanded into his bag.
I see what you're doing.
I said you can have it for free.
Shut up, I'm stealing this.
Did you have anything else for me?
No.
No, this was generous as hell.
Away for free again.
Hildryn Sox is a gnome of his word.
The doors are already swinging.
Damn.
Scarab's outside with the pig.
Got him again, pig.
Got him again.
Now let's go somewhere useful like the bar.
I thought you might have picked that one thinking it was the bar, but I believe the bar is the
sitting duck.
Yes.
Once again, you find yourself in the tavern.
There again is the familiar and large Amazonian Urgantoc.
The large brawny dusky skinned woman with a shock of red hair.
Urgantoc, I need a whiskey and friends.
I can see that, Scarab.
Where are your friends?
Dead.
All dead.
Her face takes on a momentary disposition of sorrow as she realizes you've lost someone.
So she pours a whiskey in a glass and she slides it to the edge of the counter just
so you can reach it.
I'm sorry to hear that.
How did it happen?
Bravely I hope.
You've heard the tales of the Great Wolf.
I've heard rumors.
Some monstrously large gray wolf eating hunters and whatnot.
Yeah.
Both of my eyes, he points at his eyes with two hands.
Eight my friends.
Friend, eight my friends.
Both of them.
If you see the other one, the spooky looking one, it's a ghost.
Don't bother it.
Leave it alone.
That's horrible news.
Yeah.
Both of those things are horrible news.
There's a ghost in town.
I'll deal with it later.
Let everyone know.
I will deal with it.
Don't bother the ghost.
I'll let everyone know.
The large shiny one taken away.
No idea where the fox is.
Actually.
Twinkles is gone.
Everybody's like, praise the twinkles are gone.
The town is gone.
No more twinkles eaten by a wolf.
Scarab, you have saved us all.
There he is.
What were we talking about?
Goddamn.
I need help.
Yeah, he kind of slumps in his seat.
Uh, Jacques.
No, Jacques.
Goddamn, he's gone.
I can't believe it.
Goddamn, he's gone.
Scarab, almost comically on cue, you feel a rustling in the small scarf you keep around
your neck.
And as you turn to look, the tiny fox is clinging, hanging basically from the ends of your cloak.
Gah!
I have twinkles!
Everyone around panics.
No, I didn't save him!
No, I didn't save us!
Scarab, you have doomed us all.
What a great deception.
We just watched, was it Space Quest?
Galaxy Quest.
Galaxy Quest recently.
Oh, shoot.
I'm going to go to the
next one.
These are not good enough friends.
Well, you're more than welcome to try to convince someone else to go and die with you.
Scarab's going to scan the room.
Is there anyone that looks cool?
Anyone with a weapon?
Well, there's still that weirdo playing, what was it, Knivesy Handsy's.
There's Spoonies, I forget what he was playing.
The one who's stabbing his hand repeatedly at the table.
That guy's still there.
You, are you named?
I don't remember what he sounds like.
He sounded crazy.
Yeah, crazy.
That's how he sounded.
Knivesy Spoonie!
There it is.
You've got a name?
It's all no fingers.
Don't let him get away.
I've still got one.
Oh, never mind.
Scarab's going to walk over to another table.
And who might you be?
Swinging his drink around.
There's no one at the table.
Pig, lift me up.
No.
As you're making your way around, Ergen does call out to you, and she said,
There was a rough and tumble looking dwarf rolled by earlier this morning.
A shiny head, great shock of a red beard.
Little handsome.
But he left about an hour ago, somewhere around town, probably.
What is...
How many dwarves are around town usually?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's kind of what's running through Scarab's mind.
Either this is the guy I'm looking for, or perhaps even a dwarf coming to reclaim this
place.
Either way, I could use help.
Dwarf in town means a dwarf on a mission.
Which direction did you say?
He said something about the sheriff's office.
I'm heading that way.
Scarab's going to scamper.
You didn't pay for your drink.
No, I didn't.
Free again.
Door swings.
As you head towards the sheriff's office, the door itself swings open before you get
to the front, and from it emerges a dwarf.
As described, with a shiny head and a shock of red hair for beard.
And what else does this dwarf look like, Emon?
His armor is pretty golden.
He's bald as fuck.
Big red beard, like Cody said.
He's got a grill on his back.
He also is accompanied with a large dwarven axe, large dwarven hammer, and he sees you
and he's, oh, excuse me, sir, pardon, and he starts to walk past you.
Ho, ho, hold.
Look at you.
He stands as tall as he can and he wears like a green scarf shawl.
He kind of whips it back to show off some of his golden scales and his shiny bits.
The fox goes flying.
He does, don't mind that.
He'll come back, I'm sure.
You.
I could sell this.
He waves his hands all around you.
How did you get this stuff?
Oh, it's good, sir.
I've traveled all across the land.
I'm actually here on a mission.
The mission?
Yeah, it's a mission.
Go on.
I'm scared to bring it up.
The name is Rootmore Redmayne.
Rootmore.
You are?
Pardon me.
I'm just so enthralled.
Shabunga Krasova Bafondad, you can call me Scarab.
This is my sha.
And I am an adventurer like you.
Shagunga Krasova Bafondad, all right.
Call me Scarab, please.
Scarab.
Right, yes.
Yeah, thank my parents for giving me such a weird name.
I'm sorry, Rootbert.
Root.
Rootmore Redmayne.
Yes.
Rootmore Redmayne, yes.
All right, Root.
I've been traveling all over the place.
I've been... have you been to Absalom, my tiny friend?
Absalom, the great city.
I wish to head there soon.
But I... I didn't give my spiel.
I'm a merchant, a traveling merchant.
Ah, me too.
After my heart.
But I've lost my cart.
Where should I start?
Where should you start?
I need help.
We're giving you a pee-pee for that, Matt.
Thank you.
Give me that pee-pee.
Ooh, pee-pee.
Those are the persistent kind.
Yes.
Persistent pee-pee.
We'll call them pesky pee-pees.
Very good.
I...
I'm on a mission to sell great goods.
To gather and sell great goods.
But I've lost my ability to sell and...
Pretty much gather.
I lost my cart.
And to find help to find the cart, I had some friends and we went on a mission to get us
some more notoriety and goods and they're all dead.
All my friends are dead.
That... that is horrible, my friend.
I mostly sell meat and pork.
He looks at the pig.
We'll see if I'll sell this one to you.
I also lost my great pig.
This one...
He's doing okay.
But I have no pork for you now.
I can promise you something good.
If you choose to join me.
Why not?
It wouldn't hurt.
I mean, this is kind of a side gig for me.
I'm actually here for a different reason.
I'm gonna show you guys a picture of him, would he actually?
Yeah, let me see him.
Oh, I love him.
He's beautiful.
Why does he have a hot dog?
That's what he'd do.
Yes, he's holding a hot dog like it's a godsend.
He has a grill.
Yes, he has a grill.
That's what's on his back right now.
You know, I was like, I was thinking, I was thinking about like you making a new character.
I'm like, I don't know.
I'm also playing a lot of silly characters.
Maybe he'll make a serious one.
I don't know why I ever thought that.
I don't know.
Yeah, we got to put that on the Instagram look how happy is that hot dog
But now he's got that badass red axe and a badass hammer
I don't have pork for you, but I do have a great bounty a great wolf
I've had wolf before it's not bad. Actually, this is bigger than your normal big wolf. Perfect
With your help
We might even be able to get a large chicken
Wow, okay inside of the great wolf. Oh like a wolf chicken duck and bean. Yeah. Oh
Yeah, perfect for your holiday needs. Yes. I believe the culinary term is a wolf fucking
With kid
Hell yeah
Here just he's gonna rummage around in his goods. I think he has
Nothing do you have paper paper? Let me see
He takes his grill off of his back and he opens up his grill and you see he's got a bunch of cooking utensils
But no
paper
Hmm this is fine food vendor with no napkins typical
Finger food, that's what the beard is for
That's what the beard is for
Really greasy this guy's great
Scarab throws his hands into the air in excitement
Yes, I mean this isn't exactly why I'm here. But my mission there's really no
timeline for it I
Could be chasing a ghost
But yes, let's go get this wolf of yours quick stop
Hey, wait a minute if you hear about a ghost in this town, I need you to not bother it ghosts outside of the town
Good just there's one. I hear that
There's a big scary ghost in town and it needs to be left alone. Got you. So if we run on running
Goddamnit
We run into ghosts outside of the town. They're all good. Yes
Fantastic. Why do I need these weapons? He discards all of this
Wow
Good my healthy
Speaking of ghosts
The two of you suddenly stop and you feel an overwhelming pressure behind you like you're being watched on my butt
Sorry and as best twinkles
As you turn to look you see a
Shocking almost shadow like creature standing right behind you and what do they look like Felicia?
It is a
Human but with a
Human question mark woman, but her skin is
Colorless
No warmth in it at all
Almost as if you're looking at something in black and white white hair and she's
standing there
wearing a large
Brimmed black hat dressed in all black and
All you can see under the black hat are two
narrow glowing
White eyes as a hand as two hands emerge from under the shadow of the brim
One holding a piece of paper and one holding a quill. I
Couldn't help but hear
That you needed some paper
Good for draws his acts roll for initiative
You wait you speak normal town are you a ghost?
No, I am NOT
just a
passerby that heard
of your trouble
Thank you helpful specter. He reaches his hand out to grab the paper and cool. I don't even know
I can't remember why we wanted paper anyway
But thank you. This is why sign here
After scribbling in his in his
scribbling on the paper in his hand he holds out a piece of paper with a really crude
Drawing of his own head as he sees it, which is more lion like and less
slim
lizard like
Sees himself is very big and proud he hands that over to you and it's got a line underneath it for you to sign
Let me check my intelligence
Sure, I'll sign it. I
Don't know what this means. It's fine. Thank you as two of them continue going back and forth she kind of
She towers over both of you um
She's not that tall, but she is just kind of just leaning over both of you and just I couldn't help but
Over hear your conversation of of needing help to find your things
I
did
notice that uh
I'll be honest with you a
Scarab was it Shabunga Crisoa buffon daddy you can call me scarab. Thank you
And this is my conversation I
Yes, I didn't mean to intrude I just know intruders only customers well
If I'm if I'm being honest with you
She kind of
Tilts her head down shying away under the large brim of her hat. I don't know if I can
Emphasize how large it is
That's a big hat this big hat comically large wizard hat or something no
It's not a was it's more like a sun hat, but very big
Whenever the wind blows people's things fly away. Yes, it's a seedy business lady
I
Saw you I
Have seen you before
Oh
Have you seen my cart I haven't
You were at the
ruins
correct
He looks down
Yes, I
noticed I
Noticed you there. I too was at the ruins
Interesting place I
Saw that you had companions and I see that you have
Lost your companions. They're all dead
right
all dead
He smiles like nice
But I noticed that you have room for
perhaps another I
Notice you speak of ruins
I notice you speak of ruins
Yeah, we didn't get there yet
Dwarven ruins, how's that peak your interest?
Exactly why I'm here you already signed the paper you can't back out now. What are you talking about nothing?
Dwarven ruins, and there is room. I like to have one person on each side of me. I can do that no offense
No, no looking for my long-lost cousin you heard of Zrun gar the glint axe
The this pale woman freezes her lips together
And kind of like shrinks her body
Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your conversation, but I do have more paper
If I could be a part of it grabs the paper from you
Scribbles something he draws himself a little bit more handsome
Here sign here
She takes the paper and
With like a sly smile on her face gracefully signs it hands it back
Monet
Monet Rudy we got this I like money yes, oh
Yeah
There are goods in store if we find your cousin yes, I'm on this mission as well
The town won't do anything about it. It's up to us
It's crazy. It's like this was pre-brand or something pre-brand pre-brand
I'm supposed to have friends
It's like there are at least two more players in this game what a coincidence
just that
Just behind you the axe slams through a third much larger person looming above all of you
Now in Absalom I found a book
That drew and gar had been writing
It was incomplete last. I heard he was going
To this town to a place called Droskar's crag
drew and gar the glint axe
just uh
Indiana Jones motherfucker
This guy surprised you haven't heard of him. He's famous I
Have been following his tail. We found the ruins me and my dead friends
Found the place, but this is where the great wolf is oh
Oh
Well, let's go make sausage
Let's make sausage
Yes, and each rules. It's gross hmm Monet
Yes, let's go make sausage
excellent
Yes
Thank goodness new friends so fast. I'll forget about all my traumas very shortly now I
Do feel the need
to
Mention that it is rather late, and I don't know how much time either view is spent
Around the ruins, but I have noticed a few things. I've taken a few trips there myself to
Look at it very interesting place. Yes, I
Have noticed
It's probably best to go during the day. I'll leave it at that
I've been staying at the duck hole
Agreed very smart
Okay, so what now?
I've been staying at the duck hole
So what it's called
That is not what it's called
And hope they were right the duck hole is what they call the porta potty behind the end
and I smell like
poof-poof
As the Sun slowly begins to lower the rest of you decide to make your way to the sitting duck
There you'll rest for the evening and prepare for your journey tomorrow
As you make your way through the front door once again you were greeted by Ergen Toc the caretaker of the inn
She greets you with a large wave as you walk in there are several empty tables
There are empty spaces at the bar
but the night is bustling as workers finish their shifts and make their way in and out and
Celebrate the little free time they have
Who wants a nail oh
I will take one
fantastic Monet a
wine, please wine
And red name goes to the bar and orders
I found it a great dwarf
That's the one with the shiny head
Welcome back
Thank you two ales one wine
And in short order two flagons and a thin-stemmed glass are produced for you
so
Monet what can you tell me about?
This ruin that you found
Both of you actually you've been there as well scarab
I
For one can tell you that it's deadly and once home to dwarfs
I found their skeletons in a secret door
You found dead dwarfs. I
Believe they were all dwarfs
three or four in a prison
one wearing a dress
That doesn't make sense
sense
That's what I got why doesn't it make sense
If it's a place for dwarves, why would there be dwarves in?
prison
in cells I
Questioned this too. They're dwarven statues outside. What did they say?
Can't read it
Wait a minute
Do I still?
Make sure it was this game who?
Got the info on that I don't of course I don't the guy that did it
It knows what it says
Give me that what does it say?
It's hard to read that's the contract you signed
You can't even read your own dwarven. Oh, give me that rips in
What about this one just this chalky one
Looks like you made some sort of relief
Who wants sausage as you look over the relief made it's only two words
Before it seems to have been broken off so the two words you can read are all praise
all praise
That's it heard something about her. I don't know if it's a religious place, but something about torag
That is mighty religious fact
Oh God yeah hell of a religious guy
In fact I do
Worship thy torag you speak of oh you find home there then
Yes
Damn it. I want to leave now. Why are we sitting here? I don't care if it's dark
This is torag's temple we're talking about all that I saw in my time observing
There seem to be wolves patrolling the area
Hence why I wasn't able to go in I didn't get to see really anything I
Was hoping to find some help
lucky I have
but it does
Well, it appears that the wolves really only patrol at night
aside from
When you were there with your
Yes, we were being a bit noisy and the great wolf was
sleeping perhaps
Definitely not out and about
Was this during the day or the night that it was sleeping?
This was during the day in the day. Okay, we can wait
Hit it early morning
Patience is a virtue dwarf
So Monet
Yes
You can keep your secret secrets, but
What are you doing here?
I'm a merchant I come through here. This is normal town for me
Sounds like it's about the same for Rudy
Just a traveler just like anyone else I believe you wink
That's it
Okay, don't do anything weird
You see root more have he puts a contraption on the table and he starts
stuffing meat into the contraption
It is a sausage link maker
What a level is that what I did was they they didn't have any pathfinder so what I did
Was I went online and found an actual one and copied and pasted?
Like the description of the item
Sausage link maker large capacity this sausage stuffer can hold up to 2.2 pounds meat at a time making it very easy and more efficient
To stuff your sausages. So what I did was because you know in this impact finder 2e
One copper is like one dollar. So like the price of it was
20 bucks. I think was that too silver. Yeah, 20 bucks. I made it too silver
Detachable and washable this sausage stuffers very easy to clean it can be disassembled disassembled and cleaned with hot water
Be sure to dry it thoroughly before we assemble it. I
Looked at the weight of it too. I think that was like less than 10 pounds. I made it like
What are you doing making sausage are you hungry no
well
breakfast then
breakfast sausage I
Also have the seasoned fresh sausage seasoning kit
Uniquely blended for those who enjoy creating their own culinary delights
LEM products backwards brought was I don't need a description of your spices
Continue
This is just what you need to transform your favorite meats into flavorful masterpieces
Craft with tantalizing brand of whole top graded spices
He's drooling our broad will seasoning is perfect for enhancing the flavor of fresh sausage
22 copper pieces
wonderful work
So only take a moment stuff a few links
And he just doesn't break eye contact with you guys as he's
Making sauce and smiling. He's just so happy. He's in his element right now
Tomorrow we find the secret
We find the secret
On the ground it's okay. Nobody saw that
Yeah, I have nothing to add I don't know
What do you say?
Scarab is he's super intrigued and he's not losing eye contact with you either
Monet is not maintaining eye contact and is just looking around the tavern sipping at her wine
Wondering what the fuck she got herself into you got yourself into a good breakfast tomorrow
Yeah, that's pretty fucking nice
Freaking nice
You want me to cut that?
Cut out the freaking nice part. Yeah, I drop lots of bombs
Scarab would like
Look over Monet does she have like any visible weapons?
She does she has a short sword and a crossbow on her back
He squints his eyes looking at it with an affirming nod
Aside from that she really doesn't have much
So why why the interest in this droskar's crack?
I'm doing it to help the town
For money and goods if I can't find my card. I'm gonna have to start somewhere
noble and gain
Not bad. Not bad. Yeah, we do what we can
Definitely wouldn't run away from anything. How would it help the town?
I don't know
Better question. What is wrong with the town?
Oh, I just got here a night ago a few things. There's a
There's a lumber consortium that's working their people to death
There's a sickness
Going to the town
Going around the town
Yeah, no one knows what causes it
Doesn't seem deadly making people tired and weird irritable. I
Don't have it
How long has this been going on? Is there?
not a cure
Few weeks there might be a cure and I might have the ingredients for it in my bag
We'll go talk to somebody about that tomorrow. Oh, okay these mushrooms he pulls one out
Those look delicious. He reaches to go. Yeah. Here you guys like this stuff
This is for someone else. Can I have just one?
No, I need exactly this mini. Okay. Well, you're gonna have to show me where you found those. Oh
It's where we're going imagine chopping those up putting it in the sausage he does a weird finger
And I'm sure it'd be delicious though, I haven't had a sausage before so it could be gross
I'm grilling one of these for you right now. You've never had a sausage. I'm gonna eat a sausage
I'm gonna eat a sausage
Alright, he goes over to the hearth
any pulls out
Something else that he has. Let me see. What is it called exactly?
Steel kebab skewers
Sharp flat tip skewers kebab skewers are designed to be flat in order to keep your food moving while being grilled
With this old but useful technique your barbecue grill will barbecue your food on all sides. I'll stop reading
Here's a bunch of descriptions
Metal poker
Somebody needs to see this there's a guy on a stool sitting by the hearth
And as you walk up you just shove them out of the way and sit down in his stool and begin roasting the sausage
I do not know how to react to this man. I don't know what to do
Look, I see I see that you're a bit wary. We haven't seen him fight yet. He's sitting at the table
He's gonna die in his first combat. I'm gonna be so sad. Just like rubbing away at her eyebrows
furiously
This guy's a hoot
But no first thing tomorrow we need to go to roots and remedies and speak to the cleric there
Give her the mushrooms. She cures the town. I get my cart back
Then you guys can go away
if you so choose
So have you been here before
No, it's my first time pretty shitty pretty bad town there are due to
Quite due to the creed family
The lean back
Look, I really don't care about what or who is happening in town. I just want to move forward
Yes, I'm I'm interested to see what we may find in
That temple or whatever it is did you find anything
Just possible paths, it's not very promising I
Still have a strange hunch that the wolf the wolf we met
It's different. Have you seen it a great warg?
No, I haven't seen anything inside
Strong magic we'll have to be very careful
We shall see
It's done
These are dishwasher safe. He hands you
a skewer of sausage and
I guess I'll roll a crafting check to see if it's any good
Please do
I'm dying to know level one
21
Scarab you've never tasted a sausage before but it is
Delicious as you bite into it. There's a delightful snap
Oh god, yeah, and a flow of meaty juices goes into your mouth
Oh figured the chewed out the sides of his mouth because he doesn't have lips
Holy crap
Right. This is fantastic. Imagine this with a side of eggs
No, no, no, do you sell these yourself? Yes
We'll talk later, but we need to move these suckers. Oh, I'm down. I'm down
Kill some wolves. It's gonna work on some branding and perhaps a factory
You ever just like have a realization
When you just realize that this campaign is gonna become all about hot dogs
You ever just get it. You ever just get that moment
Where you where he just where you just realize
That it's just gonna be all
About at least I have no idea what you're talking about. That's all my perception checks are gonna be other hot dogs
And then you just sit there and you think and it's like
Why did you make the character that you did not you me? Why did I make the character that I did?
Why didn't I make just a why didn't I make a doll Matt? Why didn't I make a puppet?
You're gonna make a puppet as you make a pop it a mop it they're just little
Yeah, you were talking about that little doll people
I mean, this is social time goofy time. You don't know if this guy's serious. He's relaxed right now
So you don't even know if he's sober. I don't even know
Roll the graphing check
Scooby a goofy hot dog filled time or could get serious. We have no idea
I don't even know. Yeah
Scarabs just gonna munch on this dog and
He's ready. He's ready for tomorrow
Yeah, that's where I'm at
Yeah
It's the uh sleeping arrangements y'all each get in a room sharing a room sleeping outside
Scarable sleep outside Rudy's in the the porta potty out back. So that's taken care of
He knows better now
He's taking a room how much is a room?
Also, I know you named it but we're all just gonna call him Rudy now
That's totally fine
I
I'm sorry, but I don't even remember what his real name is
Rootmore
Rootmore Redmane
Yeah, Rudy
Yeah, Root-y not to be confused with Rudy's barbecue
Per chance what fortune
I hope you're any good
To start Rudy's barbecue, but it's called rootys
How much is a room
If you want a room with a bed for one or rather if you want to rent from the floor space
Ie the open sleeping area
That's like a hostel that on its own is a room with a bed for one
If you want a bed for one in that room that adds an additional silver
If you want a private room, you're looking at eight silver and if you want an extravagant suite for six
That's ten gold pieces
No, just the cheap one. There's a private room for two silver
Private room for two is eight silver
If you want a lodging as a bed for one
You can rent from the floor space
If you want a lodging as a bed for one, that's one silver and three copper
No, sorry, just one silver
Yeah, she'll do that
Private room, one silver
No, private room is not
Eight silver
If you're doing just getting a bed
It's kind of like a communal sleeping area where there's just a bunch of like a bunk
No, gross. I want my own private room
She'll just get a bed
Okay, private room for two is eight silver pieces and that is the type of room they have
Alright, take it
Actually, she doesn't even need a bed
She's got a bedroom
If you just want floor space, it's three copper
Is anyone touching my shit while I sleep?
So, Rubemore's got a room with an extra bed
I mean, conceivably, if you're going to sleep on the floor with your bedroll
You probably could pitch in for the room for two, the three all, and all take the same room
Or you could let him dump the eight silver and just have two beds
That he can push together, I guess
Sleep on it sideways
She'll just take her spot
She'll just pay for her spot
Okay, what about for you, Scarab?
Just outside, behind a building somewhere
May God have mercy on your soul
Oh, and for your drinks, it was a copper piece each
You got those, right?
Yes, she paid for them
As the three of you bed down for the night, you each in turn think on everything that's brought you to this moment thus far
Whether to please your family wishes
To strike out on your own
To seek glory
To seek peace
To find new goods
To recover lost wagons
To find old family
Rediscover a people's treasure
You can't help but think of all you've overcome and all you have yet to overcome
But you feel something welling deep inside you
Is it excitement?
And as you drift to sleep, the last lingering thoughts before you slip into unconsciousness
Bolster you to a new day
And you all level up
Yippee!
Hell yeah
Is Carno level up?
He leveled down
Oh shit
Six feet
Minus six levels
Oh
Scarab, as you awake
It's not due to the timely rise of the morning sun
You feel a rustling
Maybe around your cloak or around the waist of your armor
But you feel something lightly tug at you
And as you open your eyes
You see a beggar attempting to rob you in your sleep
But
He realizes you've awoken him before he can run
You hear an exceptionally loud squealing noise
As a large boar
Or I guess a medium sized boar
Oh
Slams into him
Sending him sprawling down the street as he drops your possessions back at your feet
Before you is...
Pig?
But he's...
Big?
Big
What?
Pig
Big pig
Pfft
Wow
Big pig?
Big pig!
When did this happen?
He looks at himself
Flexes his arms a little bit
I'm feeling pretty good
You feeling pretty good pig?
Wink wink
Pfft
Okay then
Hmm
He's gonna, yeah
Grab it, pig's scruff and head towards the tavern
Pfft
Oh I got a big pig
Big pig
Oh, medium sized pig
Probably a regular sized pig
Big pig, big pig
I'm just a small guy though
Ooooooo
Monet, as you were sleeping
You find yourself in a memory like dream
One of those days scouting the monastery
Don't exactly remember what day it is
Just that it was some time in the past
And there you are slinking in the shadows of the overgrowth
Watching the clearing before you
Watching to see movement
Nothing
Quiet as it's been for weeks now
You recall for a moment that this is a point in time before you even began to see the wolves
Just periods of calm days of an ancient ruin laying in waste
And as you sit there watching, admiring the day
You feel it
A sudden
Bone shaking
Doooooooom
As something pushes like an invisible force
Pushing away the brush
The grass, moving everything away from the monastery itself
It almost knocks you to your feet
And you awake
Huh?
You keep making faces at me, what?
So it was like a force? Like a force push?
Yeah
In real life?
In my dream
It was a dream of a memory
Sitting up now thinking about it
The weeks that you've spent watching
Waiting for an opportune time to explore
You remembered one of your earliest forays out there
Watching as you had for days
Before the wolves came
Before you saw any other activity
You recall that was a day
Where something strange happened
Where you remember
At some point, a large surge of energy
That pulsed seemingly from somewhere within the monastery
Hmm, okay
Weeeee
Let's go!
Uh, Scarab would like to go to the dang lady to give her her dang mushrooms
I'm sorry, I'll have to be more specific
Let me have just three of them
Please!
No!
I said it yesterday
I said it last night
We're going to Roots and Remedies
Yeah, I know you did
I was being a dick
Yeah, don't do that
I'm gonna keep doing it
Yeah, you push your way into Roots and Remedies and there again you see Laurel Gabbrey
Hi, hello, welcome
Ah, welcome back
Yes, yes, nice and easy and all of that
Here are your mushrooms
Let me see
She puts them out on the counter and inspects them and she's looking over each of them
She's like, wonderful, good coloring
Wow, fantastically fresh
You must have just retrieved these, thank you
Died for them
My friends did
But your friends are standing right here, I don't understand
Hmm
You are different, aren't you?
This is awkward
You're shorter and you're more feminine
Thank you
All the same, sorry about your friends but thank you for your gracious mushrooms
Now, I do believe I promised you a reward, an alchemical solution of your choice
No poisons, I'm afraid
We don't want to cause any harm here
But, please feel free to select
As a reward for your quest, you are allowed to choose
An alchemical item up to third level
Oh
One for each of you
Oh my god
So, please feel free to look and choose
An alchemical item of third level or lower
Just no poisons
The three of you split up among the aisles and begin searching for alchemical items to use as your reward
Anything that catches your eye or draws your interest
One by one, you each find something unique to your tastes
What did you find, Monet?
Monet found a metal mist sphere
This sphere contains small fragments of thunder stones within a colloidal suspension of precious metal
When you twist the sphere, it creates an opaque mist and a burst centered on one corner of your space
Creatures within that area are concealed and all other creatures are concealed to them
Any creature with a weakness to the precious metal that starts its turn in the mist takes damage equal to its weakness
The mist lasts for one minute or until dispersed by a strong wind
Most metal mist spheres are filled with silver or cold iron
More expensive versions contain other ingredients that might exist
Or that containing other ingredients might exist, golly
And which does yours contain, silver or cold iron?
I think silver
As you hold the strange sphere in your hand, you can't help but wonder what something from the Pathfinder Society would have done making its way all the way out here
You've read about these before though, in a library long ago far away
But you can't help but think that having something found like this in such a place must surely be a sign to take it
Scarab, what did you find?
Yeah, Scarab walks up next to Monet
Ah, a bomb! Me too!
He holds his hand up and he's got this strange glass vial that just has like razor blades, a screwdriver, duct tape wrapped around it, nails, bits
He picked up a junk bomb
Volatile looking bomb that's gonna do some damage
Oh yeah
We'll get there when I throw it
Rootmore kind of shuffles off to the back, to the snack section
He's feeling around but mostly using his nose
There's the tiny mini fridge up front
It's where they keep the alchemical chocolates and the novelty goods
He finds a charcuterie board that's shrink-wrapped with like meats and cheeses already sliced, just shrink-wrapped
And what this is, it's called diplomat's charcuterie
Let's see if we can find stuff
It's full of meats, cheeses, nuts, and fruits and other finger foods mixed with reagents
To engender...engender? Never heard of that word
Mixed with reagents to engender friendly feelings between those consuming them
So he uses it, it's for diplomacy
Activating the charcuterie by eating it, you get a plus one item bonus to diplomacy checks to make an impression and perception checks to sense motives
The bonuses last 24 hours
He's just gonna open it and start eating
Wow, this is worth $900, it's nine gold
That's crazy
It's shrink-wrapped
I'm glad it's free because I would never buy this
Nine gold
As each of you share the treasures that you found
You notice that the shopkeep has moved to the back and is already hard at work forming some kind of alchemical concoction
Quickly putting to use the iron blue mushrooms you procured for her
All set, everything good? Thank you for coming, thank you for grabbing the mushrooms
I'll have this fix done in no time and I'll have everyone back in tip-top shape, don't you worry
And if I need anything else, I'll be sure to find you
Thank you, each of you, and I'm sorry for your friends
Fantastic!
I would like to sense motive
Bonus?
Plus eleven
If there's one thing you've learned in your pursuit of culinary delights
It's to never trust a strange woman over a cauldron
And she kind of gives you an uneasy feeling
Shit
So what are you making there?
Well, I'm trying to cure whatever it is that's ailing the town right now
All I can do, unfortunately, is treat the symptoms
But if I take these alchemical reagents and I break them down to their core forms
Combine them with a few others, you get some really unique effects
That help dampen a lot of the symptoms that we've been seeing over the past couple weeks
You know, the typical tired, drowsy, achy body, flu symptoms
We don't really have a precise illness
It's very strange
So we're just trying to peg it down and keep everybody in health as best we can
When will you be done with this?
Oh, probably tomorrow morning
Tomorrow morning?
I would like a sample when you're done
Are you feeling ill?
No, just like a sample
I think it's only fair since we brought this to you
I mean, if you insist, by all means
Tomorrow morning, I'll be open
See you then
Alright
I don't trust her
Me neither, who's gonna help you?
She's still in front of her
You have the hand up on the wrong side of the face
I don't trust her
This one stares her in the eyes
I think she's rather pleasant
How are you going to distribute the cure?
Well, it won't be distributed, it'll be here for anyone who needs it
Anyone who comes by, exhibiting one of the symptoms of this weird illness that popped up over the last couple weeks
I'll offer them one of the concoctions made from these mushrooms
If the symptoms fit, of course
If someone comes in with a broken leg and an icky tooth, I'm not going to be offering this
Okay
Well, have a nice day
Scarab's gonna go outside
Still stirring?
So nice
Yes, outside it is
Outside it is
Your pig is bigger
Yeah, just sprout it up like this
Stop looking at it like that!
Sorry
Wipes his mouth
Your mustache is getting drippy, sir
Please back away from my pig
Misty mouth hairs
Sure is hot outside
Sure is ham today, I mean
He's taking off his shirt
Anybody else sweating?
I'm sweating like a pig
Okay, so we go outside and assume follow Scarab's lead
Yeah, would you guys like to do anything in town before we head back up?
No, I'm itching to see this place you found
Nope
Right then
Scarab is gonna put a hand on pig and attempt to hop up onto him
Wait, let's go to the brothel
Just kidding
I mean, we can
I'm in no rush to die
No, lead the way
I've been anxious
We're gonna die?
Maybe
Scarab's gonna jump on his pig
Do you want me to do any rolls, Cody?
I don't have the ride feet yet, but it looks like that's just a combat
If it's an animal companion, you don't need it
The reason pig grew is because I have taken cavalier dedication
Ooh, that's pretty cool
Rootmoor draws his big-ass hammer and he holds his grill in his other hand
Yes, yes
Alright, so you guys make your way out of town
Travel back
Scarab, before long, you find yourself in the same place that you and Jacques left the day prior
On the edge of the forest
Looking in
After a moment's pause, put your head down and push forward
And after only a few hours, you find yourself on the edge of the clearing once again outside the monastery
Scarab throws his hood up
Ducks down on pig's back a little bit
Monet
Yes?
Do you know a safer way in here?
I'm sorry, you don't
It's beautiful
I would suggest keeping your voice down though
There are wolves and skeletons
Ugh, okay
And bats and spiders
Where, where did your friends die?
He points way off into the back corner at a well, but he's not pointing at the well, he's pointing past the well
Back there
I'm sorry to hear, were you able to retrieve them?
Not yet
Well, I'll help you with it
For Jacques
Shhhhhhhhhh
Minus three stealth
Worse than corn cobs
Dinner's ready
For the podcast I'm raising my voice cause talking like this is really shit
It's shitty
I'd rather be loud and make it quieter, that's easier when you're talking like this
It's ruined, I have to delete it
I literally have deleted so much, like whispering just cause, it's unusable
Stop
So from now on, I'm gonna stop
No
No, no, no, no, no, not this bit again
No, not this bit
It's all getting deleted
You guys will never hear this cause it's gonna be deleted
Man, I am so curious about the well
I kinda wanna jump down the well
You have full control of your pun
Yeah, I'm not looking at that
I'm not looking at that
So how do you wanna approach this?
I kinda wanna just go in there, this is, I've been waiting for this
I'll follow your lead
Man, this guy's confident
Which way did you enter, Scarab?
Up north there's a broken wall
Leads into the building
Further down the hall that's where the Great Wolf is
Wait, over here are statues
Oh yeah, there's plenty of stuff that I wasn't able to read
Rootmore goes to the two statues, the one that's crumbled, the one that's still kind of standing
And looks at them
The one that is crumbled is illegible, but the one that is still standing you immediately recognize from the relief that says
In Dwarven, all praise
The rest seems to have been smashed
Torag, this does not belong to the wolves
I doubt the wolves know what this is
You're probably right, but regardless
Moving in
Can Scarab look down the well?
Sure
Oh, also hunt prey on the Big Wolf
Okay, do you have a darkvision?
Yes
Okay
Staring down into the blackness of the well, you see the shimmering at the bottom of water
There is a rope there with a bucket
It is tied, rather than to the traditional crank, it is just tied off to the side with a heavy rock that you see by your feet
Gosh, maybe not
I really want to go down there
I don't want to be alone
What about this?
Rootmore produces a rope and grappling hook
Could you assist me?
Yeah, yeah, we'll just tie this grappling hook if you really want to go down there
Perhaps
I do know that the wolf came from below
So I was curious if there's perhaps another way in
Catch him by surprise
Yeah
Do we see anything through this way or is it like a closed door?
There's a double door set up in which one of them appears to be broken partially off of its hinges that hangs a jar
But from where you're standing, no, you can't see within
Yeah, if you want to I'll fix this rope
Yeah, let's do it
Alright
Tie it to me tight
What's around that he can tie the grappling hook to?
Well, there's a heavy rock by your feet
That has another rope tied to it, presumably to the bucket
Okay, so he'll tie the rope to that heavy rock as well
Don't trust this rope, it's too old
Yeah, tie that rope to me and I'll use the other one to climb down
50 feet of rope
Bloop
Dropped into the well
Tied first, of course
Not just throw my rope into the well
And I want the other end tied to me so if I go tugging you can pull it
Yes, remember that episode on Walking Dead where Glen gets lowered down into the water
I- I-
Monet holds the rope taut letting it- letting little bits go as he's going down
Okay, same
Uh, they lower you deeper and deeper and it becomes darker and darker until you reach the bottom
Uh, the water is below you and the bucket bobs as you begin to slosh into the water
That's a very small well, it's probably less than 10 feet across
Uh, but you are now dangling just barely in this water
Can I tell how deep the water is?
You wanna keep going down and see what you can see?
Maybe, like what's- what's in my vision right now, what can I see? If you want me to roll forward?
Just stone walls all around you that form up the sides of the well and the bucket itself bobbing in the water
Yeah, I'd kinda like to put my hand on- head under the water
I wanna put my head in the water
Sure
Yeah, I wanna do that
Okay, so you put your head under water and what you notice immediately is uh, there is a slight stinging sensation you feel in your eyes
Eww
Okay
I'm taking my head out of the water
Salty
As you pull your head back up and you gasp for air, a bit of the water does make its way into your mouth and you can tell it is- it's brackish water
So it is mostly fresh water that has been contaminated by seawater from somewhere
So likely wherever the fresh water source was meets out near the sea
Smells awful, awful, awful
Did you say drop?
AHHHHH
Don't even worry about it, Monet's still holding straw
Nothing of interest?
Now you're just in the bottom of a dark well
You would assume from what you had seen last time you were here, there were a lot of footprints outside
You assume that if the kobolds are coming through here they're probably using this as their water source
If only I had an alchemical poison
Somebody's poisoned the water hole
I'm so getting tired
Pull me up
Okay
Up you come, up you come
The two of you go ahead and roll me an athletics check
Uh oh
Five?
Pretty good
Twenty-four
Oh good, very good
You assist Imad's five
Bringing him to a six, solid, it passes
No, there's a bit more difficulty in lifting him up than you would have thought from his size
But in no time at all you hoist him back up
Easy!
Sweat dripping from your brow profusely
Piece of cake
No, no, seems to just be a well
A well used by the kobolds of these parts
Well, well, well
If anyone has a poison I'd be happy to throw it down there
Nope
Okay
Sorry
It's fine
Just another clan allowed to walk another day
Anyway
Redmore walks to the north to the door that leads to the hallway
Maybe we should check this door
To be honest I haven't been over here
This other door
That's a roll off
Did you just ping yourself in the face?
I didn't mean to
Right here
This is where we're going guys
Wait, why is it a roll off?
Just kidding
It's not actually a roll off
Two people are going one way
Making Aemond sad
Alright
Let's split the party
Yeah
He'd say you can go get eaten again
Based on your armor
Well, well, well
Back again
I knew you'd be back
Help!
I'll let you go first
Ladies first
Wait, Aemond I got you
Right there
Yeah, right there
There you go
It's like Hobgoblin never left
Yes, let's see
Just throws the door open
The door loose on its hinge bangs loudly against the stone wall
But you find yourself in a small dark hall
Littered with what looks like years of dead leaves
Just kind of swirled around on the floor
There's a narrow path ahead of you that winds inside
By Torak, what have I done to you?
So filthy in here
To the south you see a single door
And there's one opposite on the northern wall
West of you is another set of double doors
In a similar shape
In broken disrepair hanging off their hinges
Perhaps this one we don't throw in
Ah, did I throw the other one in? I wasn't sure
You weren't sure with the banging against the wall?
Sorry, I don't like to screw around
Oh, you're doing great
This is a house of my people
I've been waiting months to see this
The clamor was echoing off the walls
Ah
Remember before we came here I mentioned wolves?
Yes
And he mentioned his friend died- friends died
They're both dead
The most dangerous wolf is coming across one while it's sleeping
What?
It is. You ever scare a dog while it's sleeping?
They attack immediately
It's better to know that they know we're here
Trust me, I have survival skills
Ha ha ha!
As long as you're going first, we're in good hands
You know what, I'll just wait out here while you open the next door
Brace those contract ripping hands
Which way you going?
Scarab
Tell me which way
You've been here
I haven't been here, this is new to all of us
Ah
Okay, well
If you look at the map, there's black- just a black fog of war in front of all of us
Here, here, I'm just erasing everything as I go
Erase the black and the room shows up
Right, well, let's check this door
Do a plus ten check for traps?
You don't detect any traps, however, when you turn the knob, indicating the door is not locked, it does not budge
Ah
This one's locked
Ha ha ha ha!
Ahhhhhhh!
Try the door to the left of that one
Monet, are you okay out there? You kind of shrieked
Is there a wolf?
I'm just waiting
Should I force it open?
I wonder if she's a rooster too?
Ha ha ha ha
Go ahead
I'm gonna force it open, I'll force it
Go for it
Errr, athletics correction
Yep
Ah, that's a plus one
Your athletics is a plus one?
He's budgy, he does not muscle, he's budgy
Well, athletics is plus three, but since I don't have a crowbar, it's minus two
Let's just let Monet do it, she has a plus six for athletics
No, it's too late
Well, you don't have your de-walt crowbar on you?
Err, eleven, to force open the door
As you stand back to show him who's boss, you lean a hefty shoulder into the door and give it a heave
And the door doesn't budge
Well, this is impossible, let's try the other door
Monet will walk up and place a hand on his shoulder
Look!
Oh, okay, you're so quiet
Ha ha ha ha
Excuse me
I'll step out of the way
Monet will press her shoulder against the door and give it a quick pop
Athletics minus two
Natural
Uh oh
You're gonna blow it
Ha ha ha ha
I told you, it's impossible
As you repeat the same motion and shoulder into the door, you hear a loud pop, however, it doesn't come from the door
And the door doesn't move
It is impossible
That's my bad shoulder
It's okay, I understand
If the door doesn't open for you, it doesn't open for anyone
Let's try the south door
Well, something that I'm noticing about that door you're trying to open is that there are two other doors on either side of it
Cody, I thought Cody said there was only one door
I wasn't listening
Are there two other doors?
There's this one, this one, and then the double doors, right?
These things? What's that?
Probably a hallway
What's in there?
What's right here?
Just then
Oh
Okay
So is this also a hallway?
Yep, as you peer around the corner for each of these
Further in, there's a hallway to the north and south
Because if this is true, and this is just a tiny room behind this one door, we have to get in it
Agreed, but like I said, it's impossible
Let me give it another go
Go for it
Don't embarrass yourself, it's okay
Shut up, small man
I'm medium sized
Which I'm surprised, worms are medium sized
What are you? What's wrong?
Natural 20
Natural 20?
Yes, finally
Yes
As it runs up, it grabs at the hinges of the door and just pulls it out
Yeah, you rip the door off its hinges
And as you do, an old chair propped underneath the handle from within clatters to the floor
Tell me about the skeleton behind it
Rupert sees you open this door and he drops his hammer with his mouth open
By the gods
A miracle
Yes
Clearly
I knew it wasn't impossible
Wow
Nothing's impossible
You're amazing at this
I've never seen anything like it
Let me pick my hammer rack up before Cody starts combat
Just then
Cody shows up
Hey guys, how's it going?
Just so you know, I've got a gun
So the room before you can only be described as what appeared to be some sort of waiting room
Chairs seem to line the side walls in this room, but that's not the interesting thing
The interesting thing is right in the middle of the room appears to be the pseudo mummified remains of a long dead dwarf in the center
Hmm
What's in there?
What?
A dead dwarf
What is that?
He pushes past everyone
Starts crying
Ahhhh
Oh no
Ahhhh
I've seen this movie
Can, can Monet do it?
Ahhhh
You were saying?
Ahhhh
Wait, is, wait, is it tech magic?
Who is it? Do you know him?
Ahhhh
Never mind, that's a spell, right? It's tech magic?
Never mind
Ahhhh
Anyway, you guys going in there or?
Yes
Okay
Rupemore, as you approach, you recognize in the long decayed emaciated remains, he appears to have been dressed in blacksmith's garb
You also notice in one of his hands, both of which are kind of limp at his sides, one hand is clutching a now shattered glass vial and the other is holding a roll of parchment
Oh, oh no
Oh, inspect everything
Roll of parchment
Ahhhh
Shut up
You, you, you unscroll the parchment, the writing seems to disappear as your tears fall all over the page
Ahhhh
You have to be very careful as you try to remove this by now long ancient parchment
You can see that it's been weathered by time, obviously this is not like a climate controlled room
And so you have to gently pry it from this corpse's hands
However, its fingers do not move as, you know, rigor mortis and decay and all that have kept them in place
Go ahead and roll me a sleight of hand
Is that thievery?
Oof, is it too late to back out of this one?
Yep
Okay, sorry guys
Ah, three
Okay
That's a minus three thievery
With a sickening crack, you break away the skeletal remains fingers one by one before the scroll rolls free
I forgot it
And now you have the scroll
As you unfurl it, written in dwarven is a rather hastily written note that reads
Forgive me, true father of the forge, for my toils were not enough
No, forgive me, true father of the forge, for my toils were not enough
Is it signed by anyone?
No signature
Yeah, would I recognize anything that he's wearing or that he's got as possibly our quarry?
There's the broken vial we didn't check
Hmm, how?
Eww
Everybody cries weird in this party
Scarab looking him over as well
Why are you crying?
Monet, you did a great job back there
Monet, you cry always
I hate it
Me too
Anybody looking over the body, give me a perception check
Ooh, natural 20
What do you think about a nine?
30 total
30, wow
You got me, 24
Monet, looking over the body you notice that though its face has been worn away, obviously by time, and the skin tight and weathered and dried and hot
The face almost appears twisted into a look of abject pain
Judging by the glass vial you assume that maybe he must have been bribed a bunch of poison
Oh, he's making it hard on his editing later
Just keep laughing
Loopy, everybody's loopy
Yeah, everybody
Tears in me eyes
Scarab, you notice around his belt is a, what appears to be a low quality silver clan dagger and it has a religious symbol on the pommel
Eww, I don't touch this kind of stuff
No you don't, and he kind of gently pushes you out of the way
Kind of gently shoves you to the ground
Rootmoor pulls out the clan dagger and pulls out his own clan dagger and holds them to compare because he actually has one
Look, look, look at it
Is it a hot dog?
He's showing us, look at it, look
Is it a hot dog?
Oh wait, sorry, that's a hot dog
Didn't mean to pull out the sausage
As you are pulling away to examine the dagger, you hear a small clinking sound coming from the edges of the blacksmith's apron
And before turning to inspect the dagger, you find two platinum pieces sewn into the banding
Wow, ogre lore
This is torags money
Yeah, better donate it
You don't need to give it to him, right? We finders keepers
Yes, yes, finders keepers, you're correct
As for the dagger itself, you notice the symbol is not the symbol of torag, it's a different symbol altogether
You could roll me a religion check if you'd like
Yes please
Let me look at that too, untrained
I'll also help, for what, religion?
Religion, 24
12
18 to, I guess since I'm untrained I'll just help him out
Okay, so 25 total, this is the symbol of Droskar
Droskar
Mmhmm
Uh huh
Droskar, yeah, as crucible as that, here
Yes, this is what I've been looking for
Because you critically succeeded, let me give you some info on Droskar
Uh, he's dead
Droskar? No, he's fine
Oh god
You know Droskar to be a member of the Dwarven Pantheon and the patron deity of the Dwargar
Uh, he believes that sufficient toil leads to eventual success and that those who fail simply were not trying hard enough
In the pursuit of his goal, Droskar believes that one should be free to do whatever is necessary to accomplish that goal
Even if it includes lying, cheating, exploiting others, or even worse, committing crimes
Droskar is a bit of a hard ass
Not quite a fan, but we'd like to find what is going on here
Hey man, I understand
Dwarves? I mean, as a kobold
Little guys gotta do what little guys gotta do, right?
I'm medium sized
Smaller than that?
You seem quite sensitive about the matter
He turns away
Points proven and all and such, is this room trapped?
Scarab looks like a ceiling to make sure it's not slowly closing in on it
No, no, no, it's closing very quickly
The unholy symbol on the clan dagger is that of an arch with a fire burning beneath it
Interesting
Like an oven?
Or a hearth
Or a door that's on fire?
Or an arch with a fire under it
Because that's what I fucking said
Hey, calm down, alright? Calm down
Just kidding
What's in the other room?
Hey, calm down
Which one?
Oh, that's a McDonald's drive-thru
Yeah, what can I get for you?
Small doors
She wants to look at it to make sure it doesn't have any big booms on it
Wait, I'm sorry?
She wants to check up for traps
Okay, yeah, go for it
And while she's checking for traps, Scarab's gonna be listening in on the door
Scarab's gonna open the door
That is... that's a 23
No traps
What about a 28 for any sounds from beyond the door?
You don't hear anything
Okay
You're fairly confident there's nothing moving on the other side of the door
She tests the handle
And it is unlocked
Okay, show open door
Gently, slowly
Take 20 on that door
Did you see that dwarf?
Sorry, did you hear that dwarf?
What dwarf?
He looks up from looking at the... at the clan dagger, Droskar's clan dagger
Didn't even know you left
This... this means a lot to me
I'm... when we're done here, I want to pull the body out and bury it
Okay, but don't forget to pick up all the fingers you broke off
Oh, yes, yes, of course
Only the utmost care
I'll show you where the other bodies are so you can have fun with that too, yeah
What's in the room?
It looks like a small cloak room, actually
The small chamber must have been used to store traveling cloaks, coats, hats to visitors to the monastery
But now only a few moth-eaten rags hang on the pegs with a single soiled hat resting on a table
Sorry, what kind of hat?
Like a small short-brimmed hat
She hates short-brims
Um...
It's not a hat, silly, that's a diaper
What's it doing on this table?
Uh... to look around for stuff, I guess
Sure, perception check
19
As you look through the hanging rags
You do notice in the corner of the room there's a small iron-blue mushroom growing out of the wall
Yeah, we got all the mushroom
Um... root tea
Yes?
I found a mushroom
Oh, he scurries into the room
Pushes her to the side
Excuse me
Throws her to the ground
It's quite rough
Yeah, Rootmore lunges for the mushroom
It's mine!
You can't have it!
Get back, bitch!
Foul bitch!
Huh, what kind of mushroom is this?
Is this the same?
I figured you'd know since you seemed so excited about the last one
Yeah, that's it, that's the one
I think I'm rolling a crafting, right?
Uh, nature
Thank god
Uh... 15
Yeah, it's an iron-blue mushroom
Oh, fantastic
He stuffs it into his bag
He grabs it, turns it into a mush
And as you jostle that mushroom-shaped thing into your pants next to the other mushroom-shaped thing
We end our story for the day
Oh, oh, wow
Gonna do one
Yeah, we're gonna do that, I don't want to end on what I just said
Look, I really liked what you did on the outro there, but
One suggestion, it fucking sucked, one more time
I'm sorry, just before I forget, I wanted, maybe this is stupid
I want to check that hat and see if there's anything inside of it, like on the brim
Uh, you know, sometimes people have tags
I don't know
You never know with games like this
Okay
Yeah, as you go to examine the hat
Perhaps a nice little pouch
Playing card, maybe
Feather
A gun
Is it a gun, Cody? Don't mean it's a gun
No
Uh, the lone hat sitting on the table
There is a chair pulled out from the side of it that has a also tattered jacket
Both the hat and jacket are in terrible shape at this point, but
Nowhere near the decimated rags that hang from the shelves behind them
As you lift the hat to examine it for anything in particular
You do see a small tag in line in the rim
On the name
Druengar
Eww
And that's it for today
Eww
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Bye-bye
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I got eight bags of chips
I got a meat and cheese tray
And I got salsa and guacamole
You ever put chips in a hot dog?
I've done it before, it's really good
I've done it on a hamburger, so imagine
Yeah
Oh, I'm Choc and I'm a piece of shit
Well, there's your post credits
I'm Choc
Ah
That's a good sound