Last time on Crown of the Kobold King, our heroes decide to investigate the Creed family.
Unable to pass through the gate without a password, they decided to check on the Lumber
Consortium next door in town.
On their arrival, they witnessed terrible working conditions and saw a worker lose his
mind and attack a guard, only to be immediately shot down by a Red Rock mercenary.
Jacques observes the dead man and notices that he was not physically well.
The group then marched into the main building and finally met the man Peyton, also known
as Payday.
Scarab and Jacques question him about the spreading sickness, and Jacques fails to deceive
Payday.
During that conversation, Cobcorn angrily marches straight to the Sheriff's office
and demands justice.
The Sheriff isn't happy about the situation either and says there's nothing he can do.
Back at the Lumber Consortium, Payday tells Jacques with a sinister tone that he can meet
the Creed family right now and starts to forcefully escort him.
Their story continues now!
Yeah, Colonel is on his way back to the Lumber Consortium to go meet up with his son and
his new friend Scarab.
Well as you're on your way back and you make your way to the archway that leads out to
the cut yard, you can see the large jiggling pug-faced form of Payday pushing Jacques alongside
him, kind of like with an arm around his shoulder leading him down the road with Scarab quickly
in tow.
I'm sure Creed would be very much interested in this, uh, formula or cure that you might
be working on for a disease or illness.
Trade... trade secret!
I mean Felicia, it's kind of up to you.
It's a trade secret, I mean, I really couldn't say much without proper guidance from my partner.
She's a bit more of the tinker of sorts, you understand, you have to have people that can
help you with these things, you know, much like your lumber workers, I have my potion
maker.
You have ought to name a name and rest assured old Payday will go and fetch them for you.
I'm very good at getting people where they need to be.
This guy's saying Payday?
He is Payday?
This is Payday.
Okay.
This is Payday aka...
I thought he was saying another name last episode.
His official name is Payden.
But he is affectionately known as Payday.
Payden Payday Tietem earned his nickname from the way he doles out violent dudes to anyone
who fails to follow his commands fast enough.
Just take us to Creed so we can sort this out.
Find a cure for your town and its people.
I mean you were saying if he, uh, if there was an illness in town he would definitely
know about it.
Maybe we could have a little, a little casual discussion.
He is actively walking you out of the, like down the road towards the Creed Manor.
I know and the entire time.
He's like got Jacques like arm in arm like pushing you along.
Like I said he's kind of hesitating so like he'll like stop for a moment and like turn
to him his hands up and like he's getting pushed along but he's just like, you know,
maybe we can talk about the situation at hand and the health of the town itself.
Excuse me sir but I recently learned my son does not like to be touched.
I really don't.
This is a bit of an awkward exchange.
Well you're more than welcome to follow along with your son.
I think that Creed would be very interested in what it is all of you are doing here especially
as it pertains to this one and his alleged miracle cure.
I never, I never used the words miracle or cure to be clear.
I said treatment of sorts.
And what do you mean by that?
Well treatment if you will is something that treats the symptoms of an illness.
So say that the symptoms are like I said fatigue, insomnia, nausea, whatever.
It would treat those things and help the workers of this town or not just the workers but along
with the citizens and should it be you or your esteemed ruler.
So are you telling me that you don't in fact have a cure?
I don't believe I ever said the word cure, no I'm not a cure, a treatment.
These words are very important to a doctor such as myself.
I cannot by, by God's will cure the illness in this town but I can perhaps treat the illness.
And you are actually of very little use I'm afraid.
This has been a gross misunderstanding and should you darken my doorway in the cut yard
again I will not hesitate to crush each and every one of your heads like a grape.
Good day.
Well would you like to know the results of your examination at least?
I would not.
Oh okay.
He starts walking back.
Can you at least give us that password again?
No answer.
Can I do a medicine check on what I, just on my examination of payday that I did?
Sure.
Fifteen.
I mean aside from a potentially deviated septum brought upon by the flat end of an axe and
a rather smushed face, he seems perfectly healthy.
Well as healthy as a very large rotund man.
I think we have business in the forest.
Well I suppose they don't want to hear about what we know of this Twinkle's.
Is that what they called it?
That's what you called it.
I'm in shock.
I think we should head back to the forest.
Maybe find these kobolds.
I do hate that idea but if there's nothing else to do, fine.
I spoke to the sheriff and he doesn't even know what to do about this situation.
Of course not.
We need people.
You won't be finding help with the kobolds.
You sure?
Sounds like they've been getting aggressive lately.
We gotta find out why they're getting aggressive.
Well I could tell you this much.
The cutting of all these trees is a good enough reason for the creatures of the forest to
hate this place.
People in this town don't even stand up for themselves?
Right.
Maybe that's why there's so many hunters, people don't want to deal with this bullshit.
Between the people in this town and everything outside of these walls, there's one enemy.
And it's in that house.
Pointing back at the manor.
Yep.
As much as I want to run in there and kill them all, we don't have the manpower.
That seems a bit extreme.
Yeah it is extreme.
We've seen how quickly they will fill you up with bolts.
No good!
I mean we haven't even gotten started with them.
Maybe it's a gross misunderstanding about how this town is being run.
Maybe they're not even aware.
I'm waved at the crossbowmen and they flip me off.
They're not too happy.
In any case, sure.
Let's go back to the woods where there is a warg that clearly wants us dead.
Sure, makes so much sense.
A warg that it would seem clearly wants this town dead as well.
I agree with you.
This town that I live in, mind you.
We do not wish to destroy the town.
I do not wish to destroy the town.
These people buy from me, but they cannot buy if they do not have any money.
All the money is going to that house.
Simple change of leadership.
Nothing crazy.
Nothing topical.
Yes, just restructure the entire government of this town.
Why don't you?
Okay, let's go to the woods.
I'm sure we can figure it out there.
Want to pick up on that trail for the cobalt?
Oh yeah, and the sheriff also pointed out a few things on the map.
He shows you guys the map that he got from the sheriff.
This is new stuff.
This might be pretty important for our cause.
Sorry I didn't bring it up earlier.
I forgot.
I'd much rather do this than talk to some cobalt.
Nothing else in town of interest.
Unless you want to stop at one of the places you haven't gone yet.
Kind of like to check out the rogue lady.
There's the rogue lady.
I just don't know what kind of info.
I don't even know what I'm asking for.
Haven't been to the high market yet.
And the goose and gander.
We also haven't been to Shavaro's Vades Tower.
I honestly don't see a point.
Right now at least.
Yeah, unless there's a quest marker over there.
All of our quest markers are in the woods.
I mean, we don't know that.
As far as the game has shown us.
I just know you picked up some chips and I guarantee they go to the rogue lady.
Why we would want to go there?
I have no idea.
If nothing else, let us at least go find the rest of those...
Mushrooms for that very strange, very positive...
Alchemist.
A rogue lady.
Do they serve food there?
It's a casino in brothel.
So maybe in some sort of capacity?
Most brothels are pretty good with their fried chicken.
Like boneless wings.
Wings.
Oh no.
Well known.
No!
That does sound quite tasty.
It's usually wings, burgers.
Lots of mayonnaise, some eggs.
No chicken.
I'm quite a fan actually myself.
Basically anything you can get at a bowling alley.
Maybe better quality.
Values perhaps.
I've got two humans with one stone.
Go grab a bite to eat and check the place out at the same time.
Either way, I'd like to rest for a while.
Fine with going to the rogue lady.
To the rogue lady.
Okay, so you guys are heading to the rogue lady?
Yes sir.
Okay.
As you make your way towards this large wooden building, you can see a swinging sign of a
silhouetted woman holding a dagger that she appears to be kissing.
Underneath it, inscripted text, writes the rogue lady.
Son, cover your eyes.
My eyes are already covered.
As you push your way inside, you find yourself in a rather luxurious looking locale.
A lot of the interior is lined with red velvet and gold inlay.
It's a rather gaudy appearance, but you see several tables with individuals gambling over
a myriad of different games.
It appears individuals are playing cards, dice, all manner of what you would expect
to find in a gambling den.
On the far side of the building, you see a large stage that has a cavalcade of dancing
women topless as they perform for the audience.
Several patrons raise glasses to the air to give various hoots and hollers out to those
dancing on the stage as the games continue.
There seems to be a man in the corner playing a piano, letting off a jaunty tune as you
walk through.
This place seems quite lewd.
I remember why I don't come here.
I fall in love.
I'm gonna find a table way in the back.
That's quite pathetic, Gwongod.
Is this where she worked?
No!
You lost love.
Arnold narrows his eyes in scare of, and he goes to find a table, far in the back.
You make your way to an empty table and take a seat, and before long there is a young half-elf
who bounces her way over to your table, who is also topless, holding a tray.
What can I get for each of you?
Milkeys!
Get that out, leave it in, whatever.
Ruin my life if you will.
Milk!
A glass of milk!
Milk was a bad choice.
If I could be a bit picky, I'd prefer some white staff with adequate clothing, if you
could put a top on, please.
Well you'd be hard pressed to find that here.
I suggest you take it up with management.
A cheeseburger ale?
Not making eye contact.
One cheeseburger ale coming up.
An ale for me, please.
I need answers!
Bring me the head of the manager!
Yeah actually yes, could you please bring out your manager?
You didn't do anything wrong, just we need to speak to the manager.
But please stay here.
You want to speak to Bloodeye?
Ooh sounds intriguing.
If that is your manager then yes, obviously, that's who we asked for.
Your funeral, just don't mention the nose.
He bounces away.
Can I recall some knowledge on Bloodeye?
Sure.
Society.
I'll do that too.
18.
I've lived here for a while.
14.
Do you have any pictures of the...
Seven.
Patrons, so I get a better feel of what we're looking at here.
Need to be immersed.
I'm kidding.
It's a joke.
It's bad.
I see no bird boobs.
I wonder if Michael Guelphie has any...
It's not too hard to make.
Jacques what'd you get?
A seven.
18.
14.
18 is enough to recall the name Bloodeye.
Cabron Bloodeye.
You remember him at least being described as a half-orc.
Also belonging to the Red Rock Guild.
Something else you remember about him, you don't exactly remember why or how.
But you do remember hearing his nose got lopped off at some point.
And sure enough, just moments later, a very well-dressed, slightly green gentleman shows
up at your table.
In the place of his nose is a brass nose-shaped...
It's a face cup.
What's the word for it?
It's a jockstrap for your face.
Prosthetic.
Prosthetic, thank you.
You're welcome.
Is it strapped?
It's a brass nose-shaped prosthetic in place of where his nose should be.
He walks up, he's very smartly dressed in a vest and tie with a pristine white undershirt.
His vest is red and the tie black.
I believe you asked for me when you arrived.
Is there something I can help you with?
You notice a small dribble of blood leaks out from the brass nose to which he quickly
takes a pristine white handkerchief from a pocket and wipes away the blood.
Yes.
Scarab would like...
How doctor are you?
Are you pretty doctor?
I've got a plus five to my medicine.
Yeah, I want to nudge you to do a net medicine check, if that was what you were going to
do anyway.
Can I do that?
Sure.
Why is this dude still bleeding?
Can we help?
That is a 23 leaf.
I would say you've probably at least read about, if not seen amputees in time, but it
just seems to be a continuation of his situation.
Yeah.
Jacques would lean over to Scarab.
This is quite normal, actually.
You do pick up a distinct whistling noise that happens every time he seems to inhale
or prepare himself to speak.
He read my mind.
He was very curious when he walked in if he was going to be making sounds.
Causes quite a bit of respiratory distress.
Well, is there anything that I can help you with?
Have any of your workers come down with the twinkles?
Is your friend all right?
I have no idea of of when she speaks.
The strange sickness coming over the town.
I haven't heard anything about a strange sickness.
Good.
That's good.
None of your employees have come across any sort of illnesses causing fatigue, insomnia?
No, no.
I imagine you would understand that as the ladies are in close proximity to each of our
patrons, having anyone suffer any illness would be bad for business.
Can I do a sense motive?
Sure.
Do you want to roll it?
Sure.
What's your bones?
For perception?
Yeah.
My perception bones?
Dang, oh.
It's a plus seven.
Doesn't seem like it is that you're talking about.
I guess that's good.
Is my wait staff perhaps not sufficient enough to suit your needs?
Or is there some particular reason for which you have summoned me?
Well, it does seem quite unsanitary for your wait staff to be walking around without any
proper clothing.
I don't want any yuckiness in my food if you want.
My dear fellow, I can see you're not properly well traveled.
Or perhaps you have not yet reached the proper age for your kind.
I am an adult.
Thank you very much.
I am 15 years old and I will have you know that it is a well established adult age for
my kind.
And I would prefer that you would refer to my people as such, as Tengu rather than your
kind.
Wow, look, they have mountain of nachos.
He takes the handkerchief and wipes away.
I'd rather be naked all the time.
A small stream of blood that comes from the side of his nose.
Well, I can assure you that I'm sure you're quite comfortable with that presumption as
I'm sure you're kind of are.
But here, here in Falcon's Hollow, the weary, the tired and the tried need a bit of stress
relief, as it were.
This is just the way that we do things.
It also sounds like the weary, the tired and the tried could also use a bit of sanitary
precautions.
Is there anything that you need from me?
I don't know.
Ask my friends.
I would rather not.
Now, if that will be all, then our server will be glad to help you.
Otherwise, enjoy your time at the Road Lady.
When he turns and walks away.
Disgusting place, if you ask me.
Oh, I've been holding back so many questions about his beak.
Oh my God.
Beak.
Oh.
I'm just going to go and get some water.
I'm just here to meditate.
It's a strange place to meditate.
We could have gone to the to the Temple of Iomidae if you needed to have some religious
area.
Can't get this at the Temple of Iomidae.
Once you've finished, I'm ready to go.
Colonel will wolf down his cheeseburger.
I don't know if there's anyone of interest in here.
Nobody that stands out just from looking around.
It seems like just typical townsfolk trying to take their mind off the shit they have
to go through.
Got nothing.
Same.
To the forest?
To the forest.
I agree.
Go find that hole that the goblin was talking about.
Okay.
Where do you want to start with that?
Is the hole the same place as where the warg was at?
Based on what the goblin was telling you, it seems like it's the same area.
Although when you were there before you didn't necessarily see any hole in the ground.
That being said, you do recall when you met with the warg last, you were on the outskirts
of some sort of ruin building their compound.
Yeah, I say we go there or follow the cobalt tracks.
Yeah, I say that.
The cobalt are further, I believe.
Yeah, I think we should go to the hole.
Whatever's closest.
I'd like to, if possible, do perception checks every now and then to see if we can find any
more of those iron bloom mushrooms.
Sure.
I'll keep in mind you're looking out for them.
So where exactly are you all hidden?
The hole.
The, yeah, crucible.
Okay.
But looking for a hole that's not that.
Yeah, looking for a hole in the ground.
Okay.
So you make your way out of the road lady and out of town following the dirt road back
towards the woods.
You pass by each of the lumber camps as you go until once again you find yourselves underneath
the canopy of trees in the dark moon veil.
Quiet and peaceful.
I miss this.
Yeah, you'll be saying that until you have another warg at our throat or wolves or kobolds
or whatever ferocious beasts are out here in the wilderness.
Right, but we have information now.
Yeah, information does not help with beasts, corncob.
True.
Oh, we can handle them.
We've done it in the past.
We'll be fine.
There's wolves out here.
Yes, also wolves.
And blood sucking varmin.
Knowing now what you do, it's easier to find your way back the way you came.
However easier still, it still takes time.
And you find that now the sun is beginning to set and you find yourself with a decision.
Do you make camp as it is in the woods or do you press on back to where you met the
warg before in the dead of night?
Yeah, we should probably camp.
Yeah.
What do you think, Jacques?
If you ask me, I hate both all days.
All days.
If you hate me, do it.
I ask both ideas.
If you ask me, I despise both ideas.
I'll take the safer option.
But I suppose if we set up an inadequate watch over the night, then hopefully, hopefully we
will be able to survive the night.
Okay.
So you find a suitable small clearing in order to set up camp.
Who stays watch first?
Scarab will watch.
Okay.
I'll take second.
As the two of you begin to rest, Scarab roll me a perception check.
Nineteen.
Nice.
As you sit by the fire while your two companions rest, all you hear is the soft crackling of
the wood and the sounds of night creatures out in the woods, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Several hours pass with relative quiet before you go to take your place and allow Copcorn
to take the next watch.
Copcorn is heard.
You now find yourself among the quiet of the crackling fire and the sounds of insects and
creatures in the middle of the woods.
Roll me a perception check.
He also puts his armor back on at the beginning of his watch.
Twenty-two.
So nineteen on the dot.
You maintain a vigilant watch and throughout the night you hear nothing beyond the sounds
of the trees, the fire, the insects, and other small woodland creatures until finally it
is Jacques' turn.
You go to rouse your stepson and bed down for the night.
Five more minutes.
You got this buddy.
Jacques as you take watch, you too are surrounded by the sounds of the fire and the woodland
creatures and you feel your eyelids beginning to droop, but you choose to remain ever vigilant.
Roll me a perception check.
Twenty-five.
Wow.
Throughout the night, you only hear the crackling fire and the insects chirping in the woods
until you hear a twig snap and rustling of leaves or undergrowth.
It seems like something slowly creeps towards your camp.
Jacques will grab his sword cane and kind of like tap on Scarab.
On Scarab?
Hitting him with his cane?
Yeah, like on his shins.
Let me see.
He's not like hitting him.
He's like, let me see.
He's like tapping his shins.
For an initiative.
Okay.
What's up?
Hey man, what's up?
That's a good bro.
Hey man, what's up?
Hey, what's up?
What's going on?
Hey, what's up?
I hear something sneaking through the woods.
I heard a twig snap.
There it is again.
And a die roll.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like they've got a
End of die roll.
Yeah, Scarab would like to roll for seeing and hearing.
Scarab will stand up and go stand next to Corn Cob ready to shake him.
26.
Scarab is going to do that?
Jack will stand up and go stand over by Corn Cob and crash down next to him ready to shake him.
Ready to shake him.
Scarab got a 26. 26 perception.
As you peer into the darkness between the trees, you listen in and you too hear that rustling of something maybe not deliberately trying to be quiet, but the sound of something shuffling through the undergrowth.
Can we tell, I can tell like what direction it's coming from?
Absolutely. And as you stare in that direction in the darkness, you begin to notice a small but distinct yellow glow.
In this moment, Scarab is going to attempt to, if there are trees around, get his back or, you know, step on the other side of a tree to hide from these eyes.
Okay.
Just in that moment.
Jack will reach down and grab it.
Corn Cob's shoulder and shake him.
Huh?
Scared me.
Huh?
Huh? What is it? Jack?
There's something in the woods.
Oh.
Colonel reaches for his sword.
Stands up.
And Jack will unsheath his sword.
As you stand guard and watch, the yellow flickering flickers in and out of sight, growing closer and larger, the shuffling growing louder as a pale green flesh oozing cobalt shambles into camp.
Roll for initiative.
Oh.
Oh what?
Oh boy.
Here we go.
Not good.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.
It's just one cobalt.
Looking for them anyway.
Scarab.
Talk to them.
I don't think this one's normal, my brother.
Scarab, you're hiding behind the tree over there. Talk to them.
Hey now, guy.
Scarab as the creature begins to lurch forward, you can see it now as it passes your tree.
It looks like what you would expect from one of your kind, but its scales are pale, flaking at the end and curled as if they'd begun to molt and rot.
The creature itself has a massive gash in its chest and its pale green scales look like a cobalt that's been out for weeks, if not months.
A arm cracks as it reaches forward towards your other two companions and it begins to lurch into camp, and a hissing moan begins to emanate from its mouth.
What do you do?
Do the zombie cobalt?
This is zombie cobalt.
Oh my god.
It's a cobalt.
It's a zombie.
Yeah, what the hell. Man.
That just...
That just makes things more confusing.
It's weird, ain't it?
Mm-hmm. Well, this is what's gonna happen. This is what's gonna happen right here.
I'm not even gonna bother looking at it because I can tell that something's wrong with it, so I'm gonna shoot it in the head.
Let's go for a gunshot.
Let's fire this thing off in the woods.
One quick sneaky blast.
Okay.
23 to hit.
That's a hit.
Yes.
Blammo.
It's gonna be four damage.
Your shot blasts off a chunk of its forearm as it reaches out towards your companions.
As it reaches out.
What else you got?
Oh.
Yeah, I'm gonna reload, and I'm going to scare a little...
Eee.
I guess run in the opposite direction.
The current outline is just for the camp that you're in, as you know it.
Yeah, I would like to have this thing in the middle of us, possibly.
So yeah, Scarab is going to run 20 feet away from his position, leaving this kobold basically in between the party.
One action for that, one action to reload. That's my turn.
As you scurry past, the creature's glowing yellow eyes follow you into the dark, and it immediately turns from your party and begins shambling after you.
It slowly creeps up, shuffling through the undergrowth behind you.
Moving 20 feet right behind you as it reaches out with its now gored arm and claws at your back.
Oh.
Oof, that's a 25 to hit.
Yeah, that's a hit. One moment.
As the creature's claw collides with your back, you feel a supernatural amount of force coming from its small, rotting frame.
You take 10 points of bludgeoning damage, and you feel yourself lurch forward as it propels you 5 feet away.
Wow.
Jacques, as you witness this grotesque lizard-like horror shamble after your friend into the dark of the woods, what do you do?
Jacques will...
Everything's so strong. Yeah.
I can't get hit again. God.
Reach into his bags and pull out his amulet and attempt a...
To exploit vulnerability on this creature.
Do you have darkvision?
I think we just have low light unless you picked up a feet for it.
Yeah, no, just low light.
I will say you notice as you reach for your amulet and look up, the only thing you can make out in the distant dark of the forest is the subtle glowing yellow eyes of this creature.
You feel like you'd have to be much closer before you could actually see what it is.
Unless you also have a light source.
Well, do we not have the fire?
The fire is shedding...what is it? 15 feet of light and 15 feet of dim light.
So yes, it is actually on just the edge of dim light. You can barely make it out. My apologies.
So can I do that?
Yeah, you can see in low light, yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That is a 21.
Come on, eh? Come on, eh? Eh? Come on, eh? Eh? Let's get it, eh? Eh?
Eh, I mean, eh?
I thought that was an awesome roll, Fee. That was really...
Thank you. It was actually a pretty good roll.
Okay. What kind of success was it?
Standard. Okay, so you...I'm sorry, as far as how it goes to weakness, if it has multiple, you gain one of them?
Mm-hmm. It's highest or one of its highest if it has multiple.
Tell you what, it has two of them. Roll me a d20.
Four.
It is weak to positive energy.
So, Jock calls out, it's undead, and he starts digging through his pouch, and he finds a vial or a bottle of water that has a cross on it and pours it on his amulet and kind of shakes it out, and there's little splatters of water shaking off of it.
And he screams out, screams out, positive damage!
And he will, with his next action, go up to the creature and he will make a strike.
That is a third...nope. That is a 19 to hit.
19 to hit.
Yes. Very good.
So, since his exploit vulnerability did work, he gets that plus two physical, or the plus two making it imagine...
He gets plus two damage and it becomes magical for the purposes of DR.
Okay. So, he deals 11 damage.
Okay, and just to clarify, because Thaumaturgy is weird and new to us, the damage that you gain is not treated as if it's one of the weaknesses, correct?
Um...no, uh...you don't...let me double check, but I don't think so.
Very important distinction, because as we know, weaknesses will usually be in increments of five, so like, if that's important, that means that that plus two you get is more than plus two if it acts as that weakness.
As far as it says in Path Builder, it says, your unarmed and weapon strikes against the creature also become magical if they weren't already.
That's it. It doesn't say that it becomes...
And it says that it deals two extra physical damage on the bar where it says how much it gives you.
Okay.
Alright.
So, and you said 11, and that's with the two included?
Yes, that's what the two included.
Beautiful.
Big hit.
Huge hit.
Anything else, Jacques?
Nope, that's all of his actions.
Cob corn.
Yeah, he's gonna spend two actions running 30 feet right next to this poor little kobold zombie.
Rest, friend!
And he lays hands on the zombie.
I need a Fortitude save.
15.
Fail.
Takes three positive damage, and it takes a minus two to its AC for one round.
Amazing.
As your hands glow and you rest them on the fetid kobold, it shrieks in an otherworldly sound as light flows from its mouth.
Woohoo.
And that's it for Cornel Cob.
Scarab.
It's flat-footed, baby.
It's five-footed.
Get a crit.
Let's go for the win.
So, I googled it further, and it does seem, from what I'm reading, from Paizo, your unarmed and weapons strikes activate the highest weakness you discovered with your exploit vulnerability.
For example, a frost troll has a weakness tend to fire, but its regeneration-
You are correct.
Oh, so it's taking more damage?
Even though the damage type of your weapon does not change, your unarmed and weapons strikes activate the highest weakness you discovered with exploit vulnerability, and Jacques, you too notice the same sensation as you attack the creature.
Oh, that's cool.
So let me-
The helmet turns just pretty cool.
Adjust that, because that makes a big difference.
Alright, Scarab, you find yourself now in the darkness on the edge of the low light cast by your campfire.
I have dark vision.
It's also not an issue for you, because he himself is in low light. You can see the pale, rotting creature clearly as your companions rush to deliver divine strikes against it. What do you do?
In one swift motion, he pulls his gun up above his head, and he's going to level it, and he screams out, PIG! The pig runs-
Runs up behind the kobold, opposite to Colonel Cobb.
With its 30... doesn't even use all of its 35 feet of movement.
Wow.
Runs up behind the kobold, and Scarab fires.
So is it effectively minus 4 AC?
Actually, I'm gonna-
Effectively.
Oh my god.
I'm gonna toss you my PP for this one.
Beautiful.
Oh.
Hit it with your best shot, fire away.
15.
15 lands.
Okay, so-
Yes.
Let me make sure I don't forget what I'm doing here.
Okay, so the hit is going to land. Because Pig is in melee range with this creature, and I am dealing damage to it, at the same time, the pig will swing its tusks left and right, gore-ing the kobold's legs, adding an extra D6 to my damage roll.
Beautiful.
Oh wow.
Actually, it's a D6 of persistent bleed.
Okay.
So I roll that now?
Roll your damage now, I'll roll the bleed on the creature's turn.
Yeah.
Is that like a piggy ability?
Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
It's a support thing.
Okay, it's gonna be 6 damage, piercing.
What's your damage die on your die- on your gun?
Two... it's a D6 regularly.
Oh, cool.
Sadly.
Would love some upgrades.
Mmm.
I have one more action.
Your shot tears a chunk of the kobold's spine hunched back away, exposing rotted flesh and bone. As your pig begins to gore at its legs, black, icarus blood begins to slowly ooze and drip down onto the forest floor below.
Ew.
Yuck.
He's got the twinkles.
This is its final form.
No, not you, Tinkles. You stay back.
Keep forgetting I have a little fox following me.
Name Tinkles?
Name Tinkles.
I said Tinkles?
Not to be confused with twinkles.
Damn.
Is there a connection?
The fox is the disease.
The files are inside the computer.
I just- I keep forgetting the rules on like how many- because I know there's eventually a skill where you can pay one and give your animal two actions, but as I have it right now, as far as I've seen, it's like a one for one, but I don't think I can-
I believe it's one for two by standard, and you can spend two to give three.
I thought there was an ability that you get.
Yeah. Using command and animal takes one action and allows your pet to take two actions.
Oh well, I wouldn't- yeah.
So your pet still has another action because all it did was move, and you have another action as well.
Yeah, my bad. I'll try to remember that next time so I don't split it up.
Pig would attack.
15 to hit.
15's a hit.
Yes. Yes.
Ooh, max damage!
Get it.
12 damage piercing.
Oh my god.
Piercing.
Jesus Christ.
As the pig continues to gore at the leg, it tears away a massive chunk of flesh, leaving behind only bone and scaly sinew.
Ew.
Final action, reload.
Reload my pistol.
The creature doesn't react as its flesh is torn and sundered away, and instead begins to flail wildly.
An arm goes towards Jacques.
Goodbye, pig.
It's a 19 to hit.
That is a hit.
Oof.
Jacques, you take 10 points of bludgeoning damage, and the force of the hit flings you back five feet.
Colonel will use his reaction, his liberating step to where you take away three of that damage, and that's it?
I think that Jacques will also use his amulet's abeyance to give plus two resistance to that.
Beautiful.
So you take five bludgeoning damage, and you are propelled five feet backwards, and in the same motion the creature seems to stumble, but as it begins to fall forward, it twists in an unnatural sort of way, and you hear a crack as bones snap, and its tail flings towards Copcorn.
Ah.
That is an 18 to hit.
That's a hit.
It's writhing.
Copcorn.
Max damage. You take 17 points of bludgeoning damage.
Jesus Christ.
Hang on a second.
That's...
Can't use my abeyance, I already used...
You just used your reaction, mister.
Yeah. Well, you know, didn't want to get hit.
That's exactly how much health and stamina Colonel has. Colonel falls.
The blow propels you five feet and your friend lies limp on the ground as the creature thrashes in place. Please set that mini on its side.
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ.
Holy shit.
Have we leveled up?
Jacques, you see your stepfather crumple to the ground next to you. What do you do?
Jacques will...
Step up again.
What did you roll to hit?
It was a 18.
See, that would have been a miss, but Colonel's not wearing any armor because we're resting. His AC is 14 right now.
That's mighty honorable of you.
That really sucks.
Sorry.
And Jacques will go to swing again.
Don't forget your PP, Ahmad.
That's right, I forgot.
Can I PP before I tell you?
Sure.
Because I don't know if a 14 would have hit this thing's AC, but PP gave me a 15.
You got a 14 and a 15? Classic.
So I wasn't sure if the 14 would hit.
Oh, hell yeah.
Okay, Jacques rolls a 25 to hit.
Critical hit.
There you go.
Hell yeah. It's AC, it's 15.
So...
It could be 14.
I'm scared.
Is it still taking that positive damage from you, since you know what it is, or is it just for that one attack?
It doesn't say for just that one attack.
I assume that it is...
I think it's once you know you exploit.
That's so cool.
18 damage.
It has to be down by now.
That's a lot of fucking damage.
Seeing your stepfather fall, you step forward, lunging at the creature.
As he swings, he kind of like...
kind of like brushes his amulet across his cane sword, and it kind of like glows slightly as he strikes.
As you swing down with fury and fear for the potential loss of your stepfather,
your blade connects with the kobold's neck, lopping head from body, and it crumples to the ground, motionless.
Hoo hoo!
Oh shit.
Are we out of combat?
You are out of combat.
No, Colonel's dying.
Jacques will turn around and do a...
Stabilize. Stabilize.
Cob corn.
Bark! Bark! Bark!
Just then.
It's okay, Hesil.
Don't worry, we killed him.
He's gone.
Dwarg. Dwarg it comes.
Fuck.
Why have you got me here?
I mean, I knew I was gonna get hit. There's no avoiding that, but like, in one shot...
1d12 plus 5 damage.
That's insane.
I rolled a 5 and a 5, and then a 12.
That's crazy.
15 plus the dying value, so it's DC 16.
It's 14.
Okay.
So that is a failure. Cob corn, you do a saving throw?
Yes.
Was I placed in initiative right before the zombie?
You are...
Well don't you just use a Resolve to stabilize?
After Jacques.
Because we're using Stamina?
That's right, I can.
I don't know if it's a Resolve or multiple, I can't remember.
It should be 1.
1.
Okay, yeah, I could just use a Resolve to stabilize.
You haven't technically rested yet, right?
Right.
Okay.
You did rest because you went before Jacques.
So, okay.
We're starting out there.
Yeah, I'll just use a Resolve.
Okay.
What happened?
Jacques, can Jacques...
Speak? Sure.
Go back to camp for rest? Start making breakfast?
Can I speak? Can Felicia speak?
Sure.
Do you want to start making breakfast? Do you want to go back?
No, Bob, I swear to God.
Can I still do Treat Wounds even though I failed to stabilize?
I believe you'll have to check the text for that because it does say Treat Wounds can only be used X amount of times, whatever.
As far as Adminifers...
Oh my God, I keep saying Adminifer. Administer First Aid.
Adminifer Sirst Aid.
I just see a success and critical failure.
Right.
I didn't get either of those.
Right, so nothing would have happened in that instance.
Yeah, you can do it. It's just the target's temporarily immune to Treat Wounds for one hour.
Okay, so...
But that's for Treat Wounds, not for Adminifer.
Yeah, specifically for Treat Wounds.
So Jacques is just kind of silent.
Like you see in the camp light, just his dark Plague Doctor mask with the firelight on it.
And he's just silently but quickly checking over your wound.
That is a 17.
I believe the DC is in the skill description.
Yeah, DC 15.
Okay, so you get 1d8?
2d8.
Okay, so he's just pulling out herbs and wraps from his mini bags that he has and showing them in your wounds and wrapping them up and you get 10 HP.
Wow. Jacques, thank you.
He stands up and walks back over to the camp and sits back down where he was sitting and crosses his arms and doesn't say anything.
Jacques, thank you.
Are you okay? Are you hurt?
I'm fine.
Finish your rest. We still have about two more hours.
Alright.
He sits up.
Comes back to the campfire.
Where's Scarab?
Scarab!
And this time Scarab will be using Resolve because he's very badly injured.
Scarab will be using Resolve, drinking a health potion and looking over the zombie kobold.
I would like to also make the argument that Jacques is actually the only one that was fully rested at this moment.
Yes.
Because he had the last watch.
Yeah, it would have been fully rested, cobweb would have been like half rested. No, sorry.
Scarab would have been like half rested and you would have been like a quarter rested.
Should I not use a health potion?
Yeah, I'd make the argument that they still have rest to do.
Leaving it up to God.
Yes. Yeah, they should still be okay to rest.
Also you could be getting first aid from Jacques because you're not immune to it if you wanted to do that route for HP.
Whatever gets me healed.
Jacques will attempt to treat wounds on you.
Yeah, I sure as shit want to look over this kobold.
Why is it a zombie?
Where are the rest of them?
If you came over to Jacques to heal you, he pulls out random shit from his bag and kind of like shoved it in your wound and you take two damage.
Yeah, that's why I didn't ask for help. Who's taking two damage?
Scarab. I welcome that one.
Every time you try to heal me, I think.
I think so.
No, thank you.
Please don't clearly you're mad about something else.
Get your hands out of my body.
Please.
Shoves like dirt in your cuts.
I didn't ask for this.
From this point on, I will only be doing treat wounds with consent.
Jacques, everything okay? You seem a little...
I told you I'm fine. Just finish your rest.
Sleep faster.
Sense motive.
I'll let you roll it.
Plus three.
I think he's fine.
Alright.
Alright, good, good.
Thanks again. Thanks again.
Colonel's gonna go back to his...
His bedroll. Lay down.
Go ahead and roll me a society check scarab as you observe this rotting undead kobold.
Looks like I'm gonna have to get trained in society.
Oh?
Yeah.
Four.
You're not entirely sure where this kobold comes from.
The only thing that stands out to you is though the head has been separated from the body,
the head itself, its eyes are still glowing, and its teeth are still gnashing.
Ugh.
Looking over the body more, you can see that it has been dead for quite some time.
You also notice that around the stump of its neck is an amulet.
Ooh.
I'm gonna take that.
A very simple twine cord with a leather-bound wolf's fang.
Ooh.
Uh, gonna do a check on this?
Sure. Do, uh...
Crafting or arcana?
Either.
Do a crafting check.
Twenty.
You recognize this immediately as what is known as a wolf fang.
It is a type of talisman that people typically affix to their armor.
It's a wolf's canine bound in a strip of leather and tied usually to like a buckler or a strap of a suit of armor.
And you know that ritualistically, whenever you activate this talisman,
that a user can gain increased strength onto their damage.
Mechanically, what it means is when you deal damage and activate the fang,
you deal additional bludgeoning damage equal to your strength modifier onto the target of your trip attempt.
So if you trip somebody, you get to use your strength modifier as damage on top of that trip.
Yeah. He's staring at this amulet, knowing what it is, what it does.
You see the... you see the money signs rolling through his eyes.
He blinks heavily.
And he goes and hands it to the general.
You would also estimate from your crafting check that it's probably worth around four gold pieces.
Yeah, it's just gonna go put it on your chest where you got hit.
He's gonna pat it there and be like, put this on.
Oh, wow.
Fun little tree kit?
Yeah, it's pretty good. Take care of yourself, bud.
Thank you.
So if it is fixed to your armor, Cobcorn, and you are trained in athletics,
then whenever you trip a target as a free action, you can add your strength modifier as a bonus damage to that trip.
Wow.
Is this a consumable?
Unless it would be better for you, Jacques.
It is, yes, a consumable.
So talismans are like a one-time use.
Gotcha.
Are either of you guys trippy guys?
Because I know you could.
Possibly.
I'm trained plus seven.
As good as you can get at first level.
You probably have better strength.
Strength?
Strength.
I just know you got a cane and I'm pretty sure you can trip with those.
I have a plus three to my strength.
Yeah, dog, go for it.
Neat.
Just remember that next time you choose to trip somebody, if you want to, you can add your modifier plus four as damage on top of that trip.
It's pretty good. Yeah, it's cool.
Oh, I forgot that.
For some good old one-use juice.
Anywho, you do not find anything else of interest on this cobalt corpse.
The only thing, aside from possessions, that you notice is the distinct feeling of emanating negative energy, the bizarre yellow glow of this severed head's eyes, and its gnashing teeth.
What's that sound?
I mean, I'd like to put...
The cartels, get a walk.
Yeah, let's put this thing out.
Yeah.
If may-haps, I would like to put a crossbow bolt through its head.
Should probably burn it.
Get rid of its remains.
Good idea, John. Good idea.
I know.
Let's drag this guy over to the fire.
Might smell.
Better than rotting smell, I guess.
Not worse than you.
I smell.
So you're gonna take the head and chuck it in the fire?
Yeah, I'm gonna...
Probably the whole thing.
Yeah, the whole thing with the head, crossbow bolt, or a knife.
It's shoes you away. This is his people.
Oh, I'm sorry, friend. I'm sorry.
Fucking monsters.
It's undead.
Hmm.
Scarab will throw it into the fire.
The body doesn't react at all as you hook it onto the fire.
As the gnashing head is chucked into the flames as well, it lets out a very loud and breathy screech.
You can see the yellow light from its eyes seems to wisp away into the smoke,
and from the fire exudes a heavy and dense black plume.
Ha ha ha.
Shh.
Trying to sleep.
These lands are cursed.
Part of me is wondering about the kobolds that dragged the person off if they were already zombies to begin with.
They were reacting to the wyvern though.
That's true.
Okay, yeah, so they're not.
Seems like they were with it.
Not a mindless.
Uh, can we tell where this one came from?
At least in some part, what direction it came to us from camp compared to where we're going.
Do you wanna kind of poke around in the dark and see if you can track its movements?
Not necessarily, just like what's...
Where we are on the map compared to where it came from, compared to where we're going.
Yeah, I mean, it seems like it came from like the, maybe the southern part of camp.
At least for what part of camp it came into.
And in relation to you in the crucible, the crucible is northeast of you.
Scarab, please finish your rest so I can continue on in this horrid place.
You're not my boss.
Scarab's resting.
It's not my fault you didn't see that thing coming.
Good enough?
He did! He did see it coming.
Then he woke you up. He woke up corn cob.
So after this, do we get our resolve or are we sticking with...
Pretty sure we level up.
...everything.
I'm kidding.
Mwahahahaha.
I'm good either way, however you wanna rule it.
However, I'm sorry, however I wanna rule what?
If we're getting our resolve back and getting our con times our level HP.
That's true, I'm gonna have to take a potion anyway.
Ummm.
Still not be fully healed.
Yes, you will be able to rest and gain back your resolve.
Sweet.
I'm gonna be nice.
Even though you're already sleeping.
Or whatever.
I remembered your armor so I'm gonna be nice.
Oh thanks.
See I'm gonna use a potion unless someone can free heal me.
I mean, a shot can attempt to do a...
You can try.
I need your consent.
Yeah, I mean, Colonel can also do lay on hands as well.
Do I have your consent to heal you? Maybe?
Please, just do it correctly this time.
Natural one.
I'm just not familiar with your anatomy.
It would seem.
Nothing happens.
I'm gonna use one of these really expensive shitty potions.
No, no, come here buddy.
Let me touch you.
I'll put my hands all over you.
Do it then, we don't have to talk about it, just do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Six points.
You're welcome.
You want some more?
No, that's more than enough.
Cool, I'm gonna go sit here for ten minutes.
HUMMING
Jacques taking last rest.
You remain by the fire before it slowly dies out, leaving only the charred and calcified remains of the horror you faced the night prior.
As the sun slowly begins to rise, filling at least a modicum of sunlight throughout the forest floor.
You find yourself now beneath the canopies in a dulled grade hue of morning light.
DOG BARKING
Ready boys?
I've been ready for hours.
Attaboy.
Alright, so according to the map, it is this way.
Let's head the correct way.
I'm ready to go the right way.
LAUGHING
Before long, you find yourself...
Before long, you find yourself once again at the edge of the forest, before clearing at the base of the edge of the mountain.
There, you see once again the dilapidated remains of a large building.
It's made of simple stone blocks, worn smooth with the passage of time.
The stout building appears to be slowly falling apart.
Sections of the slanted shale roof have collapsed and portions of the outer wall have crumbled.
Weeds and wild thorny plants run rampant across the field leading up to the place, leaving only the slightest indication of a path that ends at the ruined front doors.
You see no wolves and no warg.
Uh...uh...hmm...
Check for tracks?
Hunt prey on the warg.
And uh...check for signs of warg.
Sure.
Uh...give me a nature check.
Or survival, since you're following.
You can do a nature.
Or a perception.
T-t-t-t-t-24!
How about...a 22?
Nice.
Geeze Louise.
Goal of 17?
I rolled a 15.
Nice, Louie.
As you all cautiously look from your place on the outskirts of this clearing, you don't necessarily see much activity at all.
Uh...trying to look around you to see if you see any tracks or anything of the sort.
Jacques, you can see like the divots of what would be...maybe the warg.
They're like large padded indentations, although they're a little hard to see because it seems like other things have walked over them.
Uh...and I will say Scarab, as you begin to investigate and look a bit further, you are able to pick up two sets of distinct wolf tracks that seem to be going in a almost patrol-like pattern.
You see several sets of these pair of wolf tracks that seem to be going along the outskirts.
However, you see no such wolves that would leave the tracks.
I want to sprint for the entrance so hard.
Looks like the coast is clear.
You want to do it?
I do. I mean, I want him to know of our presence.
We need to...we need to let him know we're here somehow.
I don't catch him by surprise.
Well, before you, off to the right, you can see what looks like a...
They're just standing there like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
Giant warg and two wolves.
Now you can see...
Just look around, idiots.
Well, in front of you is the dilapidated remains of the edifice of the front of this building, whatever it was.
Just off to the right of that, where the building begins to recess, you can see a short stone wall that has a clear archway above it,
as if it was meant to be an entranceway of some sort, and you can see beyond that more of the same overgrown grass,
almost like it leads maybe to some sort of courtyard.
Would you like me to check if the coast is clear?
Sure. I'll be close.
I'll be sneaky.
I'll be around.
Scarab would like to sneak to the entrance.
Pernil will crouch and look for red markings all over the ground, make sure nobody sees him.
Roll me a...
Sorry, that's Baldur's Gate.
Roll me a stealth check as you approach.
Don't even get me started on Baldur's Gate!
14.
Okay. And you're creeping up to the archway?
Yeah.
Okay.
The two of you see Scarab begin to stealthily move his way through the underbrush, walking up to the front.
Scarab, as you approach, you see that the overgrown weeds and brambles that have taken over this place
are covering the ancient remains of some cobblestone pathway that are now mostly covered by these overgrowth,
as well as a faint layer of dirt and mud.
As you approach, you are suddenly startled as you hear the calling of razor crows.
Just...
Roar! Roar! Roar!
And they fly away as you approach, but aside from that, you hear and see nothing else.
What are they saying?
Speak with animals, please!
Can I check for traps at that entrance?
Sure.
21.
You see no such traps.
Scarab's gonna wave the other two over.
He stands up. He's not sneaking for the sake of being a bad boy. Just being quiet.
Scarab, as you approach and look about, you pass between a pair of old stone statues,
one of which has been reduced a little more than a pile of ancient rubble, and the other is relatively intact.
The one you move around behind is a five-foot tall statue, incredibly worn,
but it can still be identified as a dwarf holding aloft a great stone hammer.
Mmm!
There's moss and creeper vines growing over most of its surface.
This warg has to be the missing dwarf that's been gone for years.
Yeah.
I've thought that forever, and pretty sure the hag turned him into a warg.
Is my guess. I just don't know why.
There's so many cahoots going on.
Just a shitty deal.
I think it's all connected in some way.
I don't remember expressly if the warg is pissed off that we were here, or if he's pissed off about the lumber.
He said to us, why have you come here in our minds?
He said more than that, but...
That's about it.
He's upset that we were there.
That's all I got. That's the only thing that he said to me.
He asked why you guys were here. You answered.
And then you told him, you won't find that here, so I suggest you leave.
And then he began to head back, and the wolves were there. He tried to ask him something else, I think, and he said, I really suggest you leave.
Yeah.
So anyway, Scarab, as you call your companions over, you now stand next to these two statues.
One reduced to rubble, the other of a time-worn five-foot tall dwarf, partially covered in moss and vines.
Can I tell how the... Can I surmise how the other statue was destroyed?
No balls of metal laying around.
No, it doesn't look like that. It just seems like it's...
Something at some point has reduced it to rubble.
Definitely not something that would just occur naturally over time, otherwise it'd be like the fellow that you're standing next to now just worn down.
This one, it seems, was smashed in some inscrutable way.
The wolves were throwing a rager and somebody was leaning a little too hard.
Oh, dude, sorry about your statue.
She probably got you, my dad. My dad, he'll like, he'll like, hey man, I love you, bro.
Go ahead and roll me a...
Hey man, hey man, I love you, bro.
Roll me a perception check while you're looking him over.
13.
That's enough to notice that the base of the one you stand next to, there is what appears to be the edge of a placard covered by the moss and vines.
I'm so mad. I was literally going to ask what the, what was at the bases of these statues. So mad.
Too slow. Idiot.
That's what you know, smart I am.
Freak. Loser.
Can you just, can you imagine how smart I am though? Can you imagine how smart I was about to be though?
Imagine if you will.
Then I already thought of that.
Actually...
Yeah, I'm gonna read that. Let me read it.
As you pull away at the vines and other overgrowth, you make out a very old, though partially smashed inscription that's written in dwarven.
Anybody read dwarven here?
No.
Nope.
No nice?
Nope.
Well, as you look upon the inscription, you can see the beginnings of something written in dwarven that you, even if you could read dwarven, would not be able to read.
The sentence itself begins in such a way that part of the placard seems to have been smashed.
I'd like to pry the placard off.
Anybody got, I got chalk if anybody's got paper could do one of those.
Make a relief.
Yeah, I legitimately want to do that. I just don't have like a book or anything. I forgot.
You get a map. You could do it on the back of a map.
If you guys would be cool with that. I'd like to see what this is a statue for.
Technically you have two maps since Comcorn got one from the sheriff.
Very true.
Yeah, I would like to do that. Just to get a name because like, why is this here? Who are these dwarves? Why are we not being told about this?
Sure.
I mean, we can only assume perhaps this was the man himself that put this together or I mean he was looking for this place.
You take a few minutes with your chalk in your map and you make a relief of all that could be read.
And you find yourself part of a sentence that ends abruptly in the smashed segment of the placard.
I really want to go inside. I know. I know it just leads to us getting caught.
But part of our mission was finding out where this man went.
Have I seen any iron bloom mushrooms?
You have not?
Dang, all.
There might be some in here.
Yeah, let's go on in.
That's all you need.
I'm sold. Take me in there.
Jax? Still a little bit drunk.
Alright, so you guys want to make your way through the archway into what looks like a courtyard?
Hell yeah.
Let's get in trouble.
It's fun getting into trouble.
I just want to, before we go in, can I go into the settings and change it to easy mode?
Ooh, save game, save game, save game.
I'd like to save scum, if that's okay.
I think that we might be making a mistake so I'd just like to save really quick just in case I need to load back.
Okay, as you make your way through the archway you find yourself now in a wide open courtyard.
To your right you notice the crumbling but still standing remains of some sort of tower.
Further northeast of that you see a crumbled wall.
You essentially are boxed in by four stone walls of this courtyard.
Sorry, the northeast one is the one that is more crumbled.
To the west, directly as you walk through, you see a set of what you assume to be stables.
And the rest of the area seems to be overgrown in very tall grass that is quadrosected by what seem to be four well-traveled pathways.
Is this a very big area?
It's fairly large. You estimate it to be about 45 feet across the east-west and about 35 northwest.
Well, if we're gonna cut to the chase, perhaps we find where the Warg roosts.
Yeah, I mean we're coming here to talk to him, right? Make sure we're on the same page.
I have no reason to harm the Warg.
Yeah, why don't we just call for him? Maybe he's nearby.
Don't have a reason until he gives us a reason.
All I want is answers. And my cart.
Do I see my cart anywhere in this...
Oh, there it is.
All lit up, the way I left it.
All done, let's go.
Oh goodness, the water is still running.
The water running in my cart.
Oh goodness.
Go ahead and give me perception checks.
Ooh, 25. 11.
How about a 17?
I know, really good roll.
Really dang all good roll.
As the three of you begin to inspect the area you find yourselves in,
you notice the directions that each of these paths seems to lead.
Copcorn, you notice that once it comes up to a large circle where all of the paths meet,
there's one that seems to go east and curve down to the watchtower directly to your right.
Jacques, you notice a path that goes directly across from you north
to what looks to be a very weather-worn door hanging on its hinges on the far wall north of you.
And Scarab, you notice a path winding west past the stables
that leads to a set of double doors in equal weather-worn state.
But something else you notice is the barest hint of some form of small concrete or rock structure
poking out among the grass in the northwest part of the yard.
Scarab, something else you notice as you look towards the western part of the courtyard,
the tracks you once were following with the two kobolds and the drag marks
come through this courtyard and appear to veer off to the west.
They're cahootin'. So dang, straight through here, huh?
All three of you also notice that among the kobold tracks,
of which beyond the pair of dragon ones there are many,
there are also the distinct paw pads of wolf prints.
Kind of want to just call out to him, see if he's here.
I mean, you can try. I want to go look at that dang old statue.
All right, let's go look at the statue first.
It does seem quite interesting.
It's interesting. I want to look at it before I die.
What statue? I didn't see anything.
That one.
Oh, good.
As you make your way to the northwest part of the courtyard,
you notice that among the tall grass is a distinct swath cut by what appear to be kobolds
who have walked to and from whatever it is.
You follow the small trail through the grass,
and before long you find yourself next to the stone that you spied.
It is a low well.
Are there stairs in the well?
If you peer over the edge and look down, you see maybe 10 feet-ish
with a rope dangling down into the well,
and further below that you see the distinct mirrored reflection of water,
maybe about 30 feet down.
I'd like to pull up that rope.
Is it just a severed rope?
As you pull the rope up, there is a very shoddy makeshift bucket
at the very end of it with a small amount of what appears to be very brackish,
although you would guess potable water.
Yummy.
Brackish here meaning mixed with salt water.
Standing water. Hasn't been messed with too much?
You wouldn't assume so.
I've already jumped in a hole. I don't want to do it again.
I have a feeling I may not necessarily have to jump in these things.
You know, it always seems, you know, is there a better way?
Why is it here? I want to play with it.
Could tie another rope to the rope.
No mechanism that will have this rope and bucket reach that water.
Doesn't look like it.
You do notice around the edge of this well there are a good number of cobalt footprints,
and you can even see like maybe what looks like feet digging into the ground
as if they were hoisting up and down this makeshift bucket.
I'm going to check that guard tower. Get a better view of this place.
Okay. Cob corn, as you make your way from the well towards the guard tower,
you note on the southern wall there are what appears to be the fallen remains of
some sort of stables, maybe the the rotting wood and slanted roof
that once held up the stables have kind of fallen away
and ahead of you and on the right is the guard tower.
Take a gander at these stables. Anything interesting?
Any crates or barrels or?
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
12. As you poke around, you do see what appear to be ancient bones,
maybe belonging to ponies or horses or something of that nature.
They're large bones. Oh, terrible.
But you don't really see anything else of interest.
Oh, nothing but dead horses. I'm going to go up this tower now.
I find the T-Rex in these stables.
No, no, not this campaign. I'll follow you. I'll give you some company.
He gets fallen the whole time. It just once he gets to the door.
Depends. Well put.
All right. So you make your way to the door.
We're on our way.
And yeah, you're you see now in front of you is a guard tower with a wooden door.
Let's check for traps. I'm going to roll it.
OK, plus three. Let's make this fun.
You detect no traps on the door.
It doesn't appear to be trapped in any sort of way anyway.
Just looks like a simple wooden door one would find on a guard tower.
So open it. So anyone up in the guard tower?
The darkness is coming.
Yep. Also, as you push on the door, it doesn't move.
Oops.
Door doesn't move as you go to push it open.
It doesn't seem like it's locked like it moves a bit beyond the door frame,
but it doesn't seem to move almost like the door is stuck.
The entire tower is a rubber chicken.
That's all right. We've opened up doors before.
We just open just pull it off its hinges like I did before.
Like I did before in the before times.
Twenty four.
And how do you want to do this?
Are you shoving it, pulling it? What are you doing?
Let's shove. OK.
As you brace yourself the shoulder in the door, you lurch forward.
And as your body connects with it, the door flies off its hinges,
slamming within the tower before.
And now you find yourself in a guard tower.
Immediately you notice there are thick cobwebs that cover ancient crates
and barrels that are covering the tower's base.
And on the side, you notice a rather rickety looking wooden staircase
that seems to ascend along one wall in order to reach a trap door far above you.
And as you do, you suddenly see above you descending a giant spider.
Roll for initiative.
Damn, I was going to say Jacques pulls out his... unsheathes his deal.
Here we go.
I don't want to interrupt you.
I should have interrupted Cody.
What did you get Scarab?
Twenty one.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, twenty two.
All right Jacques, what'd you get?
Nine.
And Copcorn.
Sixteen.
Very good for you.
Yeah.
Scarab from the outside of the door as Copcorn bursts into it,
you notice just in the nick of time as a pair of distinctly large hairy legs
come down to grab at Copcorn.
What do you do?
It's like me when I'm wearing shorts.
Dang man.
Distinctly long.
Long hairy legs.
Distinct.
Don't touch me dolls.
Tickle tickle.
Don't do it.
Here they come.
Oh, here come me dolls.
Here come me dolls.
First thing is I'm going to jump ten feet away from this creature.
Fair warning, from where you're standing in the door frame,
you can only see the legs as they're coming over Copcorn's head,
who's about five feet within this guard tower.
Alright, later man.
Everything seems safe.
It's fine.
Alright then, I'll...
Copcorn, come outside.
I can't, I seem to be frozen in time right now.
Please, come outside.
Step outside.
So with my...
With ten paces, roll for initiative,
pull out weapon.
I'm going to move ten paces next to Copcorn inside.
Yeah, we'll go ahead and do that.
Ten feet.
Right there.
And for my first action.
And also, even though this is right here for us,
it is actually dangling above Copcorn's head.
It's more like this.
Okay.
You estimate it to be about ten to fifteen feet up in the air.
Am I considered adjacent to this enemy?
Or no, because it's...
No.
Okay.
Scarab is going to run twenty feet into the building
and fire his weapon at the spider.
Seventeen to hit.
Seventeen hits.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Nice, nice, nice, nice.
Four piercing.
I don't think you've missed yet.
Today you've been doing good.
Getting good rolls today.
Final action, reload.
Scarab, why are you shooting?
Oh my god.
Oh, above you.
Hey, man.
Oh, shit, look.
Oh, sorry, man.
That was even for you.
There's a thing above you.
Jock, stay outside.
I need to talk to your father.
Understood.
As your shot flies out, it skims across the side of the spider,
letting out a horrific insectoid screech
as it plummets down, landing on top of cob corn.
And it bites.
Natural twenty.
Oh no.
It's not named.
You're just fine over here.
You got a BP?
It's not named.
I'm going to have to get a new card.
Yes, finally.
Don't roll that for creatures, Emon.
Can I give you a finger and make you do it again?
It's too late.
I can't.
It's too late.
You know it's a natural twenty now.
The fangs maneuver around the plates of your armor
and dig into your chicken flesh.
You take 13 points of piercing damage.
God.
And you feel a horrific squirming sensation as something is injected within you.
Roll me a fortitude save.
PP.
Yeah.
PP PP PP.
Yeah, I'll use the PP.
We can't.
We're at level one.
We can't deal with harsh poisons.
Fortitude.
Live, dammit.
Oh no.
Twenty-four fortitude.
You shake off the horrible feeling in time and push the spider away.
Oh, ha.
That would have been really bad.
Oh, God.
God.
What is happening?
Help me.
As the creature scrambles off of Cobcorn's body,
it begins to move away.
Do you have an AOL?
He does not.
That was really considerate of you to ask.
It was, thank you.
It scrambles off of you and moves twenty feet up a wall.
And as it does, it fires a sticky web at Scarab.
Golly.
That guy moves.
Is that a fifteen hit?
No.
The web makes a sickening squelch as it hits the ground next to you.
And now it is...
Do it, do it.
Cobcorn, it's your turn.
Twenty feet above you and the wall behind you is this spider that just bit you and scurried away.
So I'm going to put it here, but it's, remember it's twenty feet up.
Oh.
One action.
He's going to touch himself.
You don't want anybody else?
When you think about it.
You touch yourself.
Oh.
I did a stupid song.
You're welcome.
Oh.
Give me six HP back and then...
New vile creature.
Vile demon.
In his hand, he starts to create some fire and he throws.
Fire.
The stupid spider.
Dummy.
Thirty feet range.
Fuck.
I mean, maybe.
I don't know.
Fifteen.
Fifteen is a miss, but as your fire connects with the webbing on the wall behind it, it begins to scramble before it falls.
Oh, damn.
The spider comes crashing to the floor behind you, writhing on the ground prone.
Shit.
That's cool and it sucks. It's right next to me.
Yeah.
That's it for Colonel's turn.
Very good.
Jacques.
Jacques pulls out his amulet and holds it out and goes to exploit vulnerability.
Jacques, help.
Help me. Help me.
Save me.
Pig.
Somebody help.
Gross.
Smells weird.
Help.
Jacques, I'm your father.
Spider web on my face.
23.
I'm getting miffed.
You know that spiders of this variety don't necessarily have weaknesses.
However, you do know that their tough-kiteness body bears weak points at any where the segments join.
Meaning you can still get your plus two, but it's not going to be exploiting any actual weakness.
I see.
Called out for help and no one's responding.
Right. That's how that works.
Yeah, I can use like a personal.
Just like a personal thing.
Yeah, like you can hold up a picture of the spider's kids.
Yeah, or his dead mom.
That you just had in your pocket.
Yeah.
The dead mom spider.
Well, he pulls out a bottle from one of his various bags and.
Just says dead mom on the label.
Pulls out a handful of baby spiders, dried baby spiders and crushes them and puts them on his blade as he draws it out.
And weird.
Ew.
No weaknesses.
And then he will.
Step forward.
That's.
That's his.
This is round.
He can't like.
Oh, he's good to draw your weapon.
Gotcha.
OK, up next is.
Scarab.
Do it.
Go pig.
The pig will run into the room.
Adjacent to the spider.
For one of his actions.
Second action is to strike.
To natural 20.
We call that a pig hit.
Pig news.
No, it doesn't really work.
We're pulling from the front, putting him in the back.
You're looking for unarmed natural or piercing, I guess.
Piercing, yeah.
Triple damage, triple damage.
No.
No, this one.
Triple damage.
This works.
I mean, could take away an action.
Pig runs into the room and just starts thrashing its little pig head.
This is still just a tiny little oinker, but he's thrashing its pig head, knocking the
spider back 10 feet while dealing.
20 damage.
Damn.
Wow.
As the pig slams into the spider, it does indeed fly backwards as its body crumples
and its legs curl in.
Yeah, pig.
What is the thing that people use for pigs?
To eat away.
That.
Wow.
Oh my god.
Go pig.
You just scare him into screaming on the other side of the tower.
Dude.
Baby pig is awesome.
Big hit.
Fuck.
All right.
How are you doing, Colonel?
Are we out of combat yet?
Tell me.
Speak.
Damn it.
Just then.
Yeah, you're out of combat.
Wake up.
Help me.
All right, everybody.
That's it.
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And if you've listened this long, question of the day, who's your favorite pig?
Bye, everyone.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
Cupcorn, as you sit up and you look over yourself, you can see your gleaming armor from your
retired military days now bears a distinct cylindrical indentation from where the tail
slapped across your chest plate.
He's not wearing it.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
Sorry.
That's why he's so badly injured.
Never mind.
It was going to be a cool thing.
I'm sorry.
No, cut all this out.
I hate it.
Your chest is caved in.
You're dead.
Roll again.
Just like...