Let's find a place to settle in for the night.
It's about time for another tale.
Have I told you the one about an unlikely trio of misfits who find much more than they
bargain for?
Well, first we're going to have to go a ways back, to the time of the Shining Crusade.
Few today are unfamiliar with the tales of the Whispering Tyrant.
The prodigal Lich Lord and his legions of undead threatened the very existence of all
living things, until the united forces of Galarian banded together to beat back the
tide of rot in the Shining Crusade.
But how does one end a life that cannot end?
As a last breath rattled from his beaten bones, the crusaders raced to prepare for the inevitable
rise of the Master of Undeath.
The mightiest of their mages wove powerful magics, forming the Great Seal to lock him
forever away deep within his keep, the Galaspire.
So terrible was his power and so fearful were they of his return, that three lesser seals
were formed to guard the first against destruction and the unholy taint of his corruption.
The first would go with the armies of Taldor to whisk away deep within their distant lands
of Vryzia, the second to Lastwall, charged to the righteous knights of Oza, champions
of the inherited goddess Iomide.
The final seal was charged to the stalwart dwarves of Kragadan, to be held in the volcanic
monastery of Torag's Krag, where it would remain forever safe among the might of the
fateful and the volcano's molten earth.
Well, until the Rending.
There we go.
The name given to the eruption of Torag's Krag is appropriate, all right, for the kingdom
of Kragadan and the faith of the keepers of the third seal never quite recovered.
Those few whom the volcano hadn't consumed in rivers of fire and slag saw their faith
go up in smoke.
No one's really sure what became of the surviving dwarves and their wondrous works.
Well, almost no one.
But that's a tale for another fire, no, no.
Our story begins with the loss of a wagon, a burr-brained skein to get it back, and the
alluring whisperings of a crown to King Kings among kings.
Welcome, everyone, to the Cursed Caravan.
I am your host and your DM for this adventure.
I'm Cody.
Going around the table, we've got Felicia.
Matt.
Emmard.
Thank you, Enkka.
Tinky-winky.
Hooray.
We're going to be trying something a little new just for a short while here, getting a
little experimental.
Going to try a little bit of a different format, try to expand a bit of the lore, and we hope
you guys enjoy.
What did you guys think of that intro?
It made me very excited.
It made me very excited to be playing again.
I'm hyped, for sure.
What are we playing?
The Crown of the Kobold King.
Ooh.
Fancy.
We're going to be trying, when I say we're trying something different, we're going to
be going for a more modular approach, at least for while I'm running the game.
We're going to be running through individual paths, modules, small things to try to piecemeal
together, follow the course of hopefully the same adventures, but maybe different adventures
that'll flux in and out.
This will be more advantageous for our current busy schedules.
We unfortunately do not get paid to do this.
This just works to allow us to have fun and be big nerds and provide entertainment to
you guys on our own time.
Hell yeah.
Accepting all sponsors.
Please, please.
Red Bull, please.
Red Bull.
Oh no, no, too dangerous.
There's a super dope intro.
I hope we can continue down that road because that's how I see it in my head.
So hell yeah.
Good job on that, Emad and Cody.
Thank you for slapping that together.
Hell yeah.
Clap for Emad here.
Clap for Cody.
Bravo, bravo, everyone clap.
Let's just suck each other up.
Clap at home, clap at work, clap in your car.
Both hands, please.
Don't, don't, don't.
Please.
Don't.
Keep your hands on the wheel.
If you really want to clap in the car, just.
52 dead in a pile up on 35.
Kind of like tap your head against the steering wheel a couple of times.
Clap with your forehead.
But then only like a couple of times.
Don't do that either.
Ram your forehead into the steering wheel.
Both hands on the wheel.
Well let's get into it.
We find ourselves on an exceptionally hot day in Erastus.
That's July for you other planer folks.
It's Sunday.
The sun is high in the sky and the heat hangs heavy and low.
The air itself is thick with moisture at the nearby river.
We follow a lone kobold walking down a dirt path, small piglet boar in tow, as he walks
up to the front gates of Falcon's Hollow.
Above the gate hangs the town's name and motto.
He reads, Falcon's Hollow.
Only the desperate and the brave.
The town's motto is appropriate for here on the fringes of Andoran in the shadow of
the looming volcano known as Droskar's Crag, the dim, mis-laden forest surproud by feral
beasts, ravenous monsters, and the restless souls of the dead.
Only the desperate and the brave settled here, and they've carved out a safe niche for themselves.
It's a grim and hardworking town.
The sounds of lumber being chopped and men shouting instructions can be heard as the
kobold makes his way across the gates.
He's here to meet a couple that he'd hired.
Two individuals.
What do they look like, Felicia?
You see a slender individual dressed in all black, wearing a plague doctor's mask with
bags and bags strapped to his back.
He stands very still and stoically, staring directly forward, almost looking like a statue.
And he's next to you.
Standing next to him is a giant chicken.
A big golden rooster, in armor, in this fancy aqua-colored and white armor.
And he looks a little excited but upset at the same time.
Excited to see a new place, upset about recent events, and just eager to get inside.
He's going to start cacawing if he doesn't get inside soon.
And the two of you see a kobold approaching.
And he looks like...
He's small.
And when I say small, he's real small.
He's about three feet tall.
And a quick little interjection aside right here.
Mom, kobold, think of it like this.
A kobold, they're like born of dragons in a way.
How can I put this?
A kobold is a chihuahua to a dragon's great mastiff.
So this dude, he's a dragon without wings, about three feet tall, but he stands strong.
By beetle.
Yeah, stands on two legs.
He's got a long tail.
Fully golden scaled.
He wears ratty brown leathers and hide, and a green shoulder cape with a hood.
And on his right arm, something that really stands out is an ornate carving on his shoulder
plate.
He has like a single pauldron.
Ornate carving of a green dragon's head.
He walks up to these two and if I may carry it away.
Proceed.
Hello!
What?
Are you?
I'm so sorry.
You speak?
Yes, sir.
Are you the ones that I hired?
Large chicken.
He's humanoid.
I don't know if I said that, but he's humanoid.
He's not just a big regular chicken, he's a humanoid.
He's a tengu.
Yeah, he's a tengu.
He holds up a piece of paper that says scarab on it.
Would this be you, sir?
Ah, yes!
That is me!
A formal introduction.
I am Shabunga Krasova, perform dad.
You may call me Scarab.
I will call you Scarab.
Thank you!
Colonel Cobcorn at your service, retired.
This is my lovely son.
Stepson, stepson.
My name is Jacques.
Correct, Jacques.
Tick tock!
You can call me Jacques.
Jacques!
Perfect.
Yes.
Well, this is just wonderful.
I hate the circumstances.
Ah, the circumstances.
What are the circumstances?
Well, I seem to have lost my goods.
I had a cart and a light foot.
My pig.
He looks longingly off into the distance, and you would see he has a little boar next
to him.
I think I found your pig.
It's behind you.
Yes.
Oh no!
Just there.
No, this one popped out of the other one's rear end.
Oh my god.
This one's new in town.
Won't catch me any gold.
Pardon.
I have seemed to have misplaced my cart, or somebody took it.
I don't know, I woke up in the woods with nothing but this pig and this.
He reaches down at his side with his left hand and he pulls out a pistol that's about
the size of his forearm.
Oh, hey son.
Lower, lower, lower.
Oh my.
And Jacques just puts his hands up and shuffles about five feet back.
We'll be fine with this, dragon's fire.
Anyway, I need your help.
That's why we're here.
Good!
That's why we're here.
Ain't that right, Jacques?
He puts a hand on your shoulder.
I don't like that.
He shuffles further away.
It's Jacques.
Jacques.
No.
That's better.
A little.
It's okay.
Yeah, so, I don't have any leads, but we're gonna go find some.
Let's do it.
Come, come.
We can pass the quarry.
I need purpose.
They begin to walk to wherever Scarab would think to walk.
So what's around us?
You've got a lot around you.
Scarab, you remember a little of the town.
You've spent time in the low market, a small amount of time in the high market before you
were unceremoniously kicked out due to your drab appearance.
But most familiar would probably be the town's tavern, the Sitting Duck.
You know it to be a place where townsfolk, worker, adventurers, and mercenaries alike
all gather in order to swap tales and drinks and share a good time.
Perfect.
Well, I've got enough for about an ale or two.
Yeah, Scarab's just like going through all of his mini pockets.
There's just nothing.
You see, like, a couple copper pieces fall out.
He grabs those real quick.
Oh boy, this sucks.
I agree, my new friend.
Come come, we can find some travelers this way.
Perhaps they've seen my cart!
What do you have in your cart, by the way?
Goods.
I sell many things.
Bits, baubles, trinkets, and a ring.
A ring that could turn your friends into a bird.
A small bird, not like you, much smaller, squishable.
Still gone!
Oh, that's weird.
Gone!
And Lightfoot looks up into the sky again.
Yeah, let's go into this tavern.
As you make your way to the Sitting Duck, behold the building's dirty but charming appearance
from the exterior.
Making your way inside, or at least heading towards the door, suddenly bursts open as
a man is hocked out into the dirt.
A bloody nose getting mixed in with the dust from the air.
And stay out!
Says a tall dwarf.
I'm sorry.
Standing at five foot three!
You see a tall half-elf woman wiping the dust from her hands as she heads back inside.
Making your way within the tavern, you can hear music playing.
It's quite rowdy.
A lot of people filling the seats throughout the bar.
You see a table that has a man playing Knivesies, a local fun game.
Somebody else playing Lefty Lucy at another table.
All of these dangerous games involving sharp objects, and you quickly make your way past
to the bar.
Colonel Cobb quickly looks at the table, sees how much they're betting, what the buy-in
is for one of these games.
Colonel Cobb's a little desperate right now.
A bald, toothless man, missing an eye, is stabbing at his hand as you approach.
You hear the thunk, thunk, thunk of the blade hitting the table just narrowly missing his
fingers.
Although you expect him to be an expert at this, it appears he's lost once or twice as
he's missing a few digits.
He looks up at you and gives you a toothless grin at your question.
There's going to be one!
The only thing you win is your kick, your fingers!
You know what?
You get to do whatever you want.
Enjoy your freedom, sir.
Guess you lost!
Just walks to the bar.
Jacques approaches the bar again, he stands very straight.
He looks tall, although he only stands about five feet, and pulls out a handkerchief from
under one of his mini bags and begins cleaning the counter.
Yeah, him and Colonel Cobb are like the same height, but Jacques has a long ass neck.
He has a very long neck.
Atop his very long neck is his mask.
He stands there cleaning the table very meticulously.
Cobb sits next to you and just pushes other mugs in front of you, not really paying attention.
As you take your place at the bar, it's not long before a towering human female stands
in front of you.
She has bronze skin, bright red hair, and she is massive.
She is on the edge of like 6'2".
She has wide, burly shoulders.
She's very muscular.
But her face has, though it's seen the test of time, and there are many scars that you
can see, she has a friendly demeanor that softens the hard edges.
Jacques, is it too early for me to fall in love again?
Jacques, ain't my mother done not too long ago?
Please, please, you two, let me handle this!
It was a joke.
Colonel Cobb starts crying.
It was a joke.
I'm really bad at this.
Anyway Scarab vaults himself onto a seat up to the counter and says,
Great and powerful maiden!
I need your help!
Oh?
Hello, tab.
They don't speak our language!
Greetings travelers, what can I get for you today?
My cart has gone missing.
Have you heard any word of stolen goods?
I don't see your cart on the menu.
What can three copper get me, sir?
Ma'am?
God damn it.
I'm distressed right now.
Did I make the right choice?
Jacques pulls out his own glass and sets it on the very shiny part of the counter in front
of him.
Could I have some wine?
Please don't touch the glass, but could I just have a little, just a little, just about
right, I have a line.
Gruffly but expertly, the large woman spins around grabbing a flagon of wine and some
strange dark liquid that begins to sludge out into Colonel Cobbcorn's glass.
She takes the three copper that you put on the counter, points at you, gives you a little
wink and a smile and says, now that will floor an ogre.
And for you, young one, she pours the flagon into your glass.
It overfills.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Name's Ergen.
I've been running this place for quite a while, but while I do take in rumors from time to
time, I haven't heard anything about your missing wagon.
You could talk to the sheriff, of course.
He's more on top of local crime than I am.
Okay.
That is a lead.
Jacques pulls out another red, actually three red cloths and compares the shade of the wine
and puts the other two away and begins cleaning.
So what is going on around here?
Well, not much and a lot, depending on who you ask.
It's a wood town.
It's a log.
So there's always someone working on something.
If you mean more in the colloquial terms of local rumors.
There have been some people getting sick around town recently.
Nothing major, of course.
People get sick every year, especially around this time.
Oh, I do hate illness.
You want to go and talk to the herbalist in town about that, if that's what you're after.
Then there's also the rumor of that gray wolf.
Seems to be some large, intelligent beast, not only tackling those who go too deep in
the woods, but also seems to be setting traps, if you can believe it.
Oh, a wolf after my own heart.
And more.
Perhaps, and this is just a theory, perhaps whoever took your cart may have gotten stuck
in a trap from the wolf.
Wouldn't that be convenient and then we could go home?
That is a possibility.
You get your money when I get my cart.
Because I don't have any money.
Or, no, that's the only way.
That sounds like a major commitment, Colonel.
Have we thought about a commitment?
I've been holding this drink to my face the entire time it's been handed to me and it
hasn't even reached my beak.
Why is this so thick?
Anyway.
You have to tilt it further back.
I have a spoon if you'd like, just give me a moment.
If you're a band of those good doing type folks, there's also the monastery.
The priestess there is always looking for help.
I am busy, however, so great to see you.
Let me know if you need anything else.
And Ergen walks away.
You didn't tell me what I owed you.
I'll just leave the silver.
Colonel I's the silver.
Well, sounds like I need to find the sheriff.
Or the monastery.
Ew!
We find the sheriff.
We find my cart.
And if you're into it, I've heard there's some artifacts near.
That does sound quite interesting, don't you think, Colonel?
I think so.
Originally, I was going to hire a party to help me find these artifacts, but I've kind
of lost the thing to put them in.
I have many bags, but I don't want you putting things in my bags.
I don't know why I mentioned that.
I won't touch your bags.
Don't touch me.
Yes, thank you.
Well, well, I appreciate that greatly.
Yes.
Sure thing, Jacques.
Thank you.
Jacques is a complicated guy.
He puts a hand on his shoulder.
And I'm like, please, you shimmies away.
There's an uncomfortability between you two.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Skirrib begins to walk out of the bar.
Take your time.
Finish your drinks.
Won't be on me.
I will look for the sheriff.
Looks out the window.
You ready, Jacques?
Yes, I...
Madam?
Oh, shoot.
I'm going to take this with me.
It's my cup.
You got to use your big boy voice.
I did.
Deep down in the cerebellum.
Oh, madam.
I'm taking this with me.
Attaboy.
It gives you a hard slap on the back.
All right.
All right, little man.
Where are we going?
We need to find the sheriff.
Wee woo, wee woo.
There's an emergency.
As he's screaming, Jacques will walk out to the street and look for a guard.
Yeah, as you walk out, there are many people walking to and from, a lot of them workers,
but you do see a man in heavy armor holding a halberd marching down the street.
Jacques reaches to his side.
He has a cane, and he pulls out his cane and gently taps the guard on his shoulder with
the end of his cane.
Pardon me, sir.
Excuse me.
As you tap on his pauldron, he looks down at his pauldron first and then at you, giving
you a glare.
I'm terribly sorry.
I...
Um...
What do you want?
Scarab.
Yes, yes.
Are you the sheriff?
No, you'd be looking for Sheldor Bailson.
Sheldor Bailson?
Sheriff Bailson.
Right.
As Delrin Bailson.
Do you have a cardinal direction?
I should walk.
He's to the east.
Tell your friend to keep his cane where he minds it.
I'm terribly sorry.
I don't like physical contact.
Mind your cane, Jock.
Sorry, sir.
Unless you have news on where my cart might be.
No, about your day.
And he marches away.
Do you know what the building looks like?
I think he's done with us.
Okay.
Alright, he's a grump.
Let's head east.
Alright, as you make your way east, the road begins to curve, and before long you find
a very identical...
Identical...
Damn it, can't talk today.
Me neither.
You find yourself in front of a very easily identifiable building of the Sheriff's Office.
Can I get a little...
This may mean nothing, but can I get a little rundown of the guy that got thrown out of
the tavern?
Description wise.
Yeah.
He just seemed to be what you would assume to be one of the lumber workers.
He was dressed fairly shabby.
He had a grayish-brown tunic on, held together with a leather belt.
He looked fairly dirty.
So just like a commoner, nobody...
Yeah.
Nobody to take note of.
Okay.
No, just a human male, scraggly beard, sandy blonde hair.
Cool.
Scarab.
It would appear that we've made it to where the man told us to go.
Ah, the destination!
That's the word, yes.
Destination.
Scarab throws his hands in the air.
Come, pig, come!
Little pig oinking behind him.
What did you call me?
Come, pig!
Yeah, Scarab will walk up.
Is there anybody outside the building?
No, as you make your way up to the door, it does open and a couple people walk past and
they kind of like tip their hat at you.
But the door is open and you make your way inside.
It's a fairly small building.
You immediately see along the back wall just three cells, currently all empty.
And there is a rather rugged-looking half-elf man sitting behind a desk.
He's currently writing.
Yeah, Scarab will walk up to the desk.
He's very light on his feet.
Doesn't make a lot of noise.
Probably stands about eye level with the desk.
As you approach, you can't help but notice that just behind the desk, behind where the
man sits, is a rather large lumber axe leaned against the corner.
I would say that Jock is following closely behind Scarab and as they approach the desk
and he sees the man writing, he has this kind of cowl and it's very ruffled and you just
see the ruffles relax and straighten as he lifts his neck even higher to look down at
what that man is writing.
As his neck grows just a little bit more to peer down and try and see what he is writing.
Roll me a perception check.
This is our first roll of the adventure.
A natural one.
Perfect.
For a total of?
For a total of eight.
You failed your perception!
Dumbass.
Maybe it's your eyes, maybe it's Bailson's handwriting, but you can't really make out
all that much.
You gleam a couple words, dwarf, crucible, missing.
Stage your business.
He says without looking up.
Hi, I am Shabunga, Bafondad.
Authority figures.
If you'd like I can cover this.
No, no, it's okay.
Pardon sir, I have misplaced my cart or perhaps it was taken.
Have you seen any strange rings or baubles being sold about town or a cart or a large
pig?
He shuffles a few papers about setting aside what he was writing, takes a final glance
at one before looking up at you, and then his eyes widen a bit and he looks over at
Jacques and then looks over at Colonel Cobcorn, appraising all three of the weirdos now in
front of his desk.
Colonel Cobcorn is standing by one of the cells and just shaking the bars.
It's really sturdy, sir.
Jacques kind of relaxes his neck and his head moves down a couple of inches and the ruffles
around his neck begin to puff and bulge as he pats them down to look neat.
And you yourselves get a better look at the sheriff now that he's looked up at you.
He has neat, coiffed hair that has an undercut shaven on the sides and around.
He has the telltale pointed ears of a half-elf man.
His face is rugged and scarred with a gash above an eyebrow, one across his nose, and
another on his very strong chin and jaw line.
He looks like a man who normally keeps himself clean and presentable, though there is a bit
of stubble forming, perhaps due to the stress of his work.
Sorry, I haven't heard anything about a wagon.
No.
Have you?
Where did you lose your wagon?
Golarion, right?
Sorry.
I don't know when it's time to do a good joke, and I'll be over here.
Where's your house?
Earth.
West Earth.
It was two nights ago.
I had a drink, one too many, and I woke up with the small pig and this.
And he pulls out the gun.
And that's it.
The only things to my name.
This gun and this pig.
He, without flinching, reaches out and puts his hand on your gun and just lowers your
hand.
It's OK.
Fingers not on the trigger.
Where exactly were you?
To the West.
In the woods?
Near the woods.
He shuffles through a few more papers.
No, I'm sorry.
I have no reports of your missing wagon.
Perhaps I could assign a few guards to do a search, maybe put a post in the high market
in case any of your goods go for sale.
Do you have a ledger or bill of sale of all of your goods?
He reaches into his bag and no one else would necessarily see it, just like a POV from him.
It's just a piece of paper with the scribbles of what these things may have looked like
and like really bad descriptions, like chicken ring.
No, nothing of the sort must have been stolen.
Well, that makes things a bit difficult.
But tell you what.
I have a favor to ask, a favor for a favor, if you will.
I've been looking into something recently, something of great interest to our town.
And if you are willing to help, perhaps I could put more men looking out for your cart.
This sounds promising.
Wonderful.
He claps his hands on the desk and shuffles through his papers again and pulls one of
them.
Let's see here.
Yes, yes.
Now, a dwarven fellow by the name of Druingar used to come through here.
He hasn't been around in the last almost a decade, I think.
Now ordinarily people come and go all the time.
This is a non-issue.
But when searching through the town's records, I found recently that he was not only a traveler
and hunter interested in Droskar's crucible, he was in fact an original resident of this
town.
Now many records are not kept here, thanks in large part to the Creel family and their
disinterest in the town or its history.
But perhaps knowing what became of a town's original member might bring the people of
this town some pride and satisfaction.
I'm sorry, could you tell me the name again?
Druingar, D-R-U-I-N-G-A-R.
And interested in whose crucible?
Droskar's crucible, a remnant of some sort, a ruin left behind from before the rending.
So a member of your tribe has defected or been stolen himself?
Perhaps he found or didn't find whatever it was he was looking for and simply left.
We don't know.
That's what I want to know.
I want to know what happened to Druingar.
If his story was a success, if he found untold riches, then it would do the townsfolk well
to know that they too can become successful.
How long has he been missing?
Ten years.
I was just about to say.
I know that's like a week for you elves, but ten years?
He may be dead.
Sounds kind of cold to me.
Well, it's not so much that I'm expecting, hell, anything, really.
It's more to know what happened.
As a former resident of this town, who, for whatever reasons, set off and then came back
and off and back again, if he were to meet an untimely end, then we should know, as it
is our history.
And if he were to have found something and then moved on, then we would know of his success
as well.
These stories are important, for I deal in antiquities and oddities.
Stories are important.
For a ring may look like a ring, but the tale of how it came to your hand, that's value.
Someone who understands.
Wonderful.
And the whole time Scarab's looking at that axe.
What's the story with that?
He turns and looks.
He kind of lowers his head with a sheepish smile.
I don't like to brag, but I myself used to be a log worker here, just a humble lumberjack.
Ah, is this your first dollar?
Well, I'm not one to gossip, but you're all so weird, I don't think anyone would take
you seriously.
They never do.
Back when I was a lumberjack, Creel was and still is running this place and he's a corrupt
and conniving bastard.
Well, they had a shop in which we had to purchase our own tools with credit paid for by the
Lumber Consortium.
After I bought this axe, they tried to charge me an axe tax, as it were.
Old Payday came down to try to collect and I smashed him in the face with the back of
my axe.
Two days later, the town elected me sheriff, the only man to stand up to Creel and Payday.
Yes, yes.
Wow.
That is a legendary item.
Yes, that'd be Saldran Creed.
But I call him Creel because he's Creel bad.
Payday, one of his lackeys, portly gelatinous, waste of skin.
They call him Payday because any time someone needs to pay up, they send him to collect
and he's not very gentle.
And you already kicked his ass?
I suppose you could say that.
Good job.
That gets my beak hard hearing stories like that.
Anyway, detect magic.
You're gonna detect magic?
I know you can't tell me specifics, but is there magic?
You do detect an aura of magic.
Not on the axe.
Just around.
He wouldn't know anything specific.
Well, now you know, so separate that knowledge.
So if you don't mind me asking, where would you like us to start our search for this Druin-gar?
Druin-gar's last location was allegedly Droskar's crucible somewhere northeast in the Darkmoon
Vale.
But, and I must warn you, be careful.
The Vale itself has been hold to many a ferocious creature.
It's not altogether safe, and it's possible that Druin-gar never even made it to the crucible.
Now, Scarab, if you mind, could I speak to this one alone, if you mind?
Sheriff, is it okay?
Not a problem.
And he just turns his chair around.
You're not under arrest!
So Jacques goes to grab your shoulder, but just hovers, and tries to show you that he's
trying to lead you to the side with his hover hand, kind of doing like a grabby hand and
like a push hand to try and-
Scarable move.
And he lowers his long neck down to your level.
I feel like this is a little bit of an unbalanced trade.
You haven't seen my cart!
Neither has he.
You understand, we seem to be doing this for a favor when we could, maybe, I don't know,
maybe do it for some money.
Just a thought.
I'm here for goods.
I'm here for good too, sir.
If you wish to make money, you can do it on your own time, but I need to find the goods.
He still hasn't turned around, but just says, if it is goods and money you're after, it
is worth noting that Droskar's Crucible is rumored to have untold wells and dwarven works.
He slowly starts to realize what Droskar's Crucible is, and it's a vault of goods.
He begins to light up, stand up a little bit taller.
Come come!
There's many good things for us.
Perhaps my cart isn't found.
I start a new cart.
But my Lightfoot, and my pig, my great pig, it answers to Lightfoot.
Please let them know.
He begins scribbling on a piece of paper.
As a show of good faith, I hereby put out an APB for a one great boar named Lightfoot.
Thank you.
I shall put it up immediately, and my guard shall be on watch.
Any information I get about your cart, I will let you know.
Much appreciated.
Come.
Come, new friends.
We must begin our search.
Sheriff, thank you for giving us purpose.
Puts out a hand, shakes your hand, shakes really fricking hard.
Shakes just as hard back.
Ow!
Hey, man!
Then if you have your chance, avoid Creed if you can.
He's up to no good.
Always.
Avoid Creed.
He's Creel bad.
I'll remember that.
And if you ever want to make a profit off of old goods, I could find a home for that
axe.
Perhaps even in a museum.
It belongs in a museum.
The Scarab turns and begins walking out.
I would call it the Sheriffmaker.
Walks out the front door.
As the other two...
Are you also walking out?
Oh, yeah.
As the other two are walking out, Jock kind of hesitates and turns around to the Sheriff
and kind of scurries up to the desk and sheepishly he says, but I don't look weird, do I?
I think that I look quite normal.
Sure.
Thank you.
And then he scurries out.
As you walk out wearing all black.
It's like hot right now.
It's hot as hell, we're next to the water.
A full black cloak and a plague doctor's mask.
Yeah, you look fine.
Yeah, it is unquestionably and even unseasonably hot.
You're in the throes of summer right now, but there is a heat wave.
Hey, we ain't burning fossil fuels, so they must be a little okay.
Yeah.
It's a sweltering 78 degrees.
Oh, I can't breathe out here.
Yeah, I'm so down to head that way.
Yes, yes.
So you have a...
Adventure.
Yeah, if there's anything else in town, you're welcome to do so.
Otherwise, you can head north towards the lumber camps, which will lead you towards
the Darkmoon Vale.
I'm ready.
Yes, forgot to delete my three copper.
All gone, all broke.
Perfect.
Oops, all brokeies.
As you guys are standing there, the door behind you explodes open in a burst, and the sheriff
is there, wait.
I said east, I meant northwest.
We in this town spend a lot of time hitting wood, and we have trouble with directions.
North by northwest.
Perfect, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Take care.
And he shuts the door.
So, I'm sorry.
I think he's a werewolf.
I don't fucking do it.
I don't know the directions.
I just ask and hope for the best.
So people getting sick, medicine man, are you talking about the herbalist?
Yep, there's an herbalist in town, which, scared wood now, is at the roots and remedies.
There was also a mention of the monastery.
Yep, there is a temple to Iomidae in town.
Iomidae, Iomidae, Iomadont.
Oh yeah, the way Cody's doing it now, for his game.
We're doing regular old hero points.
We're still calling them peepees.
Call them whatever you like, as long as you keep touching them.
I'm touching mine right now.
I'm touching my peepee right now.
And we're using these as a reroll before our roll.
Advantage on a roll.
So roll twice, take the better.
Yep.
You will get one at the beginning of every session, and if you do something cool.
Matt's mom, I know your name, but I'm going to say that so that I don't say your name.
So, advantage is when we roll our d20s, we roll two of them, and then we get to take
the better result.
Also my mom.
That's what that means.
Moms.
Moms everywhere.
Moms that are listening, that's what that means.
You roll both of the d20s, which the 20-sided dice, you roll them both, and then you get
to choose the better one rather than the worst one.
Nice.
My mom just dropped his die.
I did nothing on the start.
I don't know what you're talking about.
So what do you guys want to do?
You want to do anything while you're in town, or you just want to start making your way?
Scarab is cool to go all the way, but anybody else wants to say anything?
I'm good to go.
Same here.
Yeah.
Colonel Cobb is broke.
Yeah.
Not you are.
He's a broken man.
Oh yeah.
So we head to the Lumberhams.
Going north out of town towards the Lumberhams, it is nothing more than dirt roads, open plains,
and a hillous region.
You can see the woods way off in the distance.
Woods that you know must have come a lot closer to town previously, but they have been since
stumped and cut.
Slowly clearing their way and ahead of you is the southern base of the Five Kings Mountains.
It takes about half a day's trip before you reach the outskirts of the woods, and on your
left, probably about 200 feet or so, is one of the lumber camps.
Easily identifiable by large wooden pillars that make up a great wall that goes around
them to prevent people from going in or out.
I think that it might be advantageous of us to ask, perhaps, if maybe they have seen something
to do with your cart, your pig, and maybe to ask if they know anything about this durrongar.
Of course.
Lichens do be in these woods.
Too many vicious creatures we want to avoid.
We'll see how they do it.
Yeah, would like to approach the lumber yard and see if there's any people about.
Okay, as you approach the lumber camp, you can see several workers splitting up the wood
as they do, several pairs carrying, well, several groups of individuals carrying large
logs, moving them to and from the camp.
A lot of them at hard, earnest work, and as you approach closer and closer, you see more
and more of those stumps on the outside of camp.
Approaching the great opening of it, workers move to and from with axes in tow, and some
of them kind of glare at you.
A few of them spit in your direction.
It is bleak, and the people here work hard.
As you approach the main gate, you can see that there within are five sturdy log buildings,
a bunkhouse, a meal hall, an office, a stable, and a tool shop, with numerous outhouses,
carts, sleds, and stacks of unprocessed lumber amid the sawdust speckled clearings.
Now these young men spitting towards us, was that a little bit of an affront?
The group in question, a trio of humans, each toting an axe, walks by, and one of them turns
and spit at the feet of you as they walk by, and you can almost hear one of them muttering
under his breath, something to the effect of fucking animals.
Excuse me, sir, but there's an entire forest you can spit at.
Wondering why you chose our direction.
He turns around, marches forward abruptly.
Because you weren't supposed to be here.
And he spits at your feet again.
Now, Colonel, Colonel, please.
Excuse me, gentlemen, I have a query for you, if you will.
Do you have a foreman or someone that we could speak to ask some questions?
If you know.
Did you just ask if workers have a boss?
Or just somebody that knows the going on all around?
Yes, suppose we do.
Could you point us in the direction of them, perhaps?
And why would I do that?
Well we'd like to gather some information about the woods.
You see, we're on our way on a quest to find some lost items and maybe a lost person.
Maybe you've heard of Durin-gar.
Durin-gar.
I'm not quite sure on the pronunciation of his name.
But if you would kindly point us in the direction of your foreman or someone who may know the
goings on in the forest.
I don't think he can.
I think he's upset because he can't hit a tree that even stands still for him.
Colonel, if you'd kindly please just lower your voice, it would be much appreciated.
He points his axe at each of you.
None of you's workers.
None of you's supposed to be here.
Alright?
So why don't you all fuck off?
Oh, we'll fuck right off into the forest.
Colonel chuckles to himself and just shakes his head.
And to you, sir.
Your affliction.
It's a strange one, but you should try drinking less water.
It's foaming from your mouth.
Over-hydration can kill you.
We would happily leave you alone if you just point us in the direction of someone who may
have a little more information, unless you do.
Roll the diplomacy.
My dear son, that squirrel has more intelligence than this person you're talking to.
That is a twenty.
It's just a squirrel in the grass shooting fireballs.
Can I roll?
Maybe minus from what I just said.
But, uh, what do you say to him?
We want to get out of your way and let you get back to your work.
I'm sorry it is so sweltering today.
Believe me, I am quite familiar with how hot it is.
And I do not want to get in your way any further, which is why I'd like to speak to someone
maybe a little less hardworking than you that may just know a little more.
I'm not saying that you don't, but maybe we can bother them a bit and leave you alone.
He stares at you for a moment, looks back at the other two with him, points his axe
back to the camp at one of the buildings.
Go talk to Yalvin.
Thank you for your work, sir.
The three of them march off wherever the hell they were going.
Because although Jock may be, um, I don't necessarily want him to be a face, but he
is a charisma based character.
So should we need some?
He's a DC 17.
He's got a plus five to his diplomacy already.
And a plus six.
Don't forget I'm also, I'm charisma based.
But you keep talking over me.
I'm kidding.
I don't want to take a fight with everybody, but literally.
Oh, he's spitting.
Yeah, like he's a Colonel Cobcorn.
He's, he's a champion of Hey, Fang.
And one of the anathemas of Hey, Fang is ignore an affront to you or Hey, Fang.
So had to put a stop to that shit.
Oh yeah, man.
I don't want to be spit at.
Yeah.
I was talking over me.
You're literally standing over me.
But yeah, you don't have to worry.
Like, okay.
I didn't know that you were also charisma.
He's just talking over me.
Okay, I didn't know that you were also charisma.
He's a salesman.
Yeah, that makes sense.
So we go to speak to Garob and.
Walking into the camp, heading towards the building, you see an absolute mountain of
a man walk around behind the corner, standing at a rough six, eight.
It's a big, big, big, very wide man sporting a unruly red beard.
He is presumably the man, Yarlben, that you've been looking for.
He is barking orders to other individuals as you walk up, telling them what to do.
And there you go.
I believe this is the man you wanted to see.
So Jock Watson straightens out his neck to make him just a couple inches taller.
Pardon me, sir.
Are you perhaps Yarlben?
He turns wild eyed, looking at you, toting an axe in one hand that is easily almost as
tall as you.
He hoisted over his shoulder, pointing at you.
And he walks up to all three of you.
What the bloody hell are all three of you doing here?
Pardon me, we're just passing through.
I was just wondering, might you have any information about the woods?
The forest, the tree line, past that.
Information about the woods?
What?
What my new compadre is trying to ask is the tribes within the woods, where are they right
now?
What tribes?
Have there not been talks of werewolf attacks?
He looks around for a moment, a little seemingly confused.
No.
No talks of werewolves.
Just one wolf.
A great gray beast.
Have you seen it yourself?
No.
Haven't had the pleasure.
Otherwise I'd cut in and ha ha ha.
Can I get a perception check on him?
Sure.
What are you looking for?
Scars.
What he's wearing, how he's feeling, maybe a little bit of a sense motive.
Just that.
Twenty.
Does he have any strange scars?
He's definitely scarred.
It almost seems like most of the people that you meet here are heavily scarred, probably
indicative of the rough lifestyle that they lead.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
No major wounds.
No great jaw mark or anything like that.
Just various cuts, scrapes and divots.
So your people haven't been bothered by the denizens of the forest?
Well, I wouldn't really say that either.
Lost a man last week.
Fell into a pit.
Pit with spice, if you can believe it.
I'm not quite so sure that it's a wolf building traps.
Well, that's what they say.
Anyway, you you're moving through, going on about your way?
Yes.
So actually what we're trying to do is we're trying to find this gentleman's cart.
Have you happened to see someone going through here with a cart and a large pig?
Scratches his head for a moment.
It wasn't these words.
Never.
Well, they may have taken it through.
Hmm, it'd be fools to come this way.
No, the only one who came through here would have been that.
What was his name?
Perhaps.
No, I think his name was some would be hunter asked if he could use one of my buildings
as a damned flopped house.
Wanted to stay the night sent his ass back in.
No, no.
No, are you familiar with that name?
Perhaps.
Can't say that I am.
I paid most of my time among the trees and with my men.
I see.
And this hunter, did he speak to you directly?
I was asking to stay.
Is he here for the wolf?
No idea.
Only know he's a hunter because of his gear.
What kind of gear?
Typical.
Typical hunter gear.
A bow.
Hatchet.
A cart.
A pig.
A cart.
A pig.
Maybe some twine.
Rope.
Roast beef.
A chicken.
A pizza.
A poorly equipped hunter, if hunter.
Didn't even have a tent.
Strange.
I'm ready to move on.
Right.
See that you do.
Off with you.
Thank you for your information.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, it's terrible to start walking away.
I think the hunter could be the werewolf.
Let us go.
Now that is quite a conspiracy.
I still think it's a sheriff.
Well, that's just fun for me.
We just walking in the woods.
Hang on, what about that trap he was talking about?
It was made by the werewolf.
Did he say where it was?
Oh, there will be several.
And they won't be pointed out to us either.
The barkeeper did mention, in fact, that the wolf was setting up traps, I believe,
which is kind of funny thing to think about.
If you think about it for too long, it isn't as funny anymore.
And it becomes kind of scary.
But it is funny to think of their little paws setting up traps.
Not so little paws.
Do you know who the werewolf is?
Did she say werewolf?
I thought she just said wolf.
Let's go.
OK.
As you make your way out of the camp, you suddenly feel a pair of large, gruff hands
wrap around your shoulders and a great weight as you're all been leans over your whole group.
I didn't want to say it around my men, but I have seen the beast.
Oh, it's real, all right.
Just four days ago, one of my men fell into a trap made by that thing.
And I saw the biggest, meanest looking wolf you ever did see.
I'm glad Pei, they finally sent someone to help.
If you see that thing out there, give him hell.
All right, we'll keep it a secret from your men.
No one will hear a thing.
Did you say, as he kind of nudges the man's hand off his shoulder, did you say...
He squeezes you tight.
Did you say that Pei-de sent someone to help?
You're not here from Pei-de.
I've been asking him for help for weeks.
I'm damn near at the end of stopping work because of losing so many goddamn men.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I got confused.
In any case, watch yourself out there.
And get the fuck out of my camp.
Don't let me catch you around here again.
Good luck.
Induitably.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Let's go kill a wolf.
So the beast is in these parts.
We should be careful as we make our way to the dwarf.
Colonel Cobb just starts walking into the woods with purpose.
You're wearing plate armor, right?
He's noisy as hell.
Sense motive on Cody.
See, I can't talk either.
Sense motive on Cody rolling a dice without saying anything.
I mean, I don't think that you need to roll sense motive on that when you just said that
Colonel Cobb Corn, who's in full plate, walked into the forest just confidently.
As you make your way to the edge of the Darkmoon Vale, you can see the large trees looming
ahead of you, forming a dark canopy beneath.
Though the day is hot and nearing an end, there's still ample light.
It affords a soft glow underneath the forest canopy that grows darker and darker the further
in you peer.
What's the plan?
Just to wander straight through and around?
No, I was going to say Scarab will be hunting prey.
The prey will be this wolf.
Got a ranger.
Yes, we have a ranger.
A ranger gunslinger.
Hell yeah.
So yeah, he would definitely be keeping an eye on tracks and also being a cobalt.
He knows the thing or two about traps, so he would be looking for strange formations
of grass, dirt, whatnot.
Happy to roll whatever checks you need me to whenever.
I haven't done a ranger in this myself, but it seems like if I know of the thing, I can
hunt it.
Correct.
Yeah.
It's one of my favorite classes.
I love rangers.
You know what you're looking for.
It also gives you a bonus to track that particular target.
Roll me a survival check.
Ooh, baby.
That's going to be a 24 on a survival check.
Okay.
Wow.
As you make your way deeper into the woods, you focus on the floor below looking for any
breaks in branches or any signs of creatures moving through, keeping a keen eye out for
traps as you do so.
As it grows darker and darker, the further in you go, you begin to pick up a faint glow
off in the distance.
Rolling over your survival check.
You know this to be the telltale sign of glow mold.
Could I do a knowledge check on that?
Be nature or a survival check.
Natural 20.
Nice.
Oh.
I've gotten a natural one and a natural 20 in my first three rolls.
Crazy.
Well, as you make your way towards the glow, you soon find yourself in a small clearing
with a large rock outcropping and underneath this rock outcropping is the source of this
mysterious glow.
Jacques, you would know that relatively harmless, glow mold has the curious property that it
glows.
You also know that if a skilled enough hand can harvest the glow mold without killing
it, it would provide a light source for you for up to three days.
Oh.
Can I attempt to harvest some?
Probably survival check.
There's just enough for each of you to try once.
Gladly.
Seven.
I failed.
Seven.
Twelve.
Unfortunately, as you hack away at the mold, it comes off clean and the glow slowly fades,
leaving you once again in darkness.
No, I cannot see.
That's all right.
We can fix that.
Colonel Cobb produces light.
Magic.
Do we know this to be edible?
Well, not particularly appetizing.
It is non-toxic.
Scarab's going to pass it down to his little pig.
He eats it greedily.
Yummy.
Jock, after failing, kind of just tosses it aside and pulls out one of his mini handkerchiefs
and wipes his hands down.
Where to now, Scarab?
I would like to check around here for any signs of a wolf or a person.
Give me another survival.
It's going to be a 19.
Ooh.
Because I figure, yeah, there's overhang and stuff.
The lumberyard hasn't gotten in this far.
Right.
Yeah.
At this point, you're so deep in the woods that-
So if there are signs of people.
You're so deep in the woods that the ability to see is rapidly declining.
Low light from here and you can't even necessarily see from where you entered.
Looking around in the mud, looking around for signs of anything you do, see tracks.
Two sets of tracks, in fact.
One, a very large paw print pressed into the mud.
And several feet behind it, a set of male boot prints.
Are they facing the same direction?
It almost seems like one is following the other with the boot prints following the paw
prints.
Yeah, Scarab's going to kneel down and grab the other's attention.
Oh, you found something?
Hushed tones.
Look.
He points down at the boot prints and the large paw print.
Ah, a quarry.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
Seems promising and terrifying.
Here's the thing.
This isn't exactly where we're trying to go.
We need to find this dwarf.
But, perhaps you can get paid from this, huh?
I like it.
It gives me purpose.
And he starts, Colonel Cobb just starts following the tracks.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
And Jacques follows behind.
He just walks with his chest out, just like, this is my forest.
So does Jacques, but not on purpose.
Ah, fuck yeah, I have dark vision.
Oh good, first timer.
Okay, so if it's low light, we don't need any light, right?
Yeah, if it's low light, you can make out like vague shapes and generally kind of see
where you're going within the first 30 feet.
Enough to not run into a tree.
Yeah, I have low light vision.
Both of us have low light, you have dark vision, so I'll just, Colonel will put his light out.
Didn't realize you could see out here, young man.
Oh, I may be small, but I'm not young.
I'm in my years.
I'm 30.
30.
Ha!
45 myself.
Wow.
Look at us out here doing crazy things as old men.
This ain't for the kids, except for my son.
I'm not a kid anymore, Colonel, and not that you even know my real age, Colonel.
I'm gonna change the subject.
He doesn't know your age.
So you two are related.
I will put a pin in this, for we are following dangerous footsteps.
It's my wonderful son.
I learn something new about him every day.
You can just keep talking.
I'm gonna keep my eyes on the tracks.
Please, do tell.
We are not related.
He is my stepfather, if you can...
I mean, I'm an adult.
I don't need to have a stepfather, so he's...
My mother's...
My stepfather.
So what is this?
Is he a deity?
What do you mean?
Do you follow him?
What?
I mean, currently, yes, I am following him.
I guess that is true, but that does not make him a deity.
I'm no deity.
But have you heard the good word, son?
What is it?
He stops walking, takes a knee, looks straight into your eyes.
His eyes are just like these black, just dead eyes of a chicken.
He looks right into them.
Have you heard of Hei Fang?
I don't believe I have!
Lord of Thunder!
Ooh, exciting!
Oh, very exciting.
I'm yelling, aren't I?
Yeah!
I'm so sorry.
You should probably keep your voice down.
Hold me at perception check.
I've never played a character with perception this low.
It's plus three.
Eight.
Ten.
Thirteen.
Oh, our savior.
Shock, while the other two are being a little too loud, you pick up a low humming noise.
It's kind of like a...
I hear something, I hear something.
As three giant looking mosquitoes descend from the treetops, roll for initiative.
Oh, yeah!
Wrong button!
Here we go.
Damn, real low roll.
Me too.
I've been distracted!
I knew I should have listened to myself and kept walking.
I said it out loud too.
Jacques.
Twenty-seven.
Wow.
Nice.
I know.
Oh my god.
You're the only one not talking.
Scarab.
Eleven.
Colonel?
Five.
All right, Jacques, you find yourself face to face with three giant insects.
One quick thing just to set a place for it.
I have my ten paces, which is a free action during initiative, to where I can move ten
feet.
So would I do that right now?
Yep.
Right when we roll.
That's so cool.
So firstly, Jacques sees them and I'm immediately going to leave you while you're talking.
I'm just going to run away.
Away you go.
That's so cool.
So yeah, Scarab getting an ounce of battle in the air will run away and ready his weapon.
Okay.
So Jacques will unsheath his...
Oh yeah, what kind of weapons he got?
Jacques will unsheath, he will pull out his cane and unsheath his cane sword.
Ooh, that's nice.
He will then reach into his cowl and rip out an amulet, holding it close to him.
And I'm going to exploit vulnerability.
Talk to me about that.
So...
Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me.
You scour your experiences and learning to identify something that might repel your foe.
You retrieve an object from your Esoterica with the appropriate supernatural qualities.
That's right, I'm playing a thaumaturge.
Then use your implement to stroke the remnants of its power into a blaze.
Select a creature you can see and attempt an Esoterica lore check against a standard
DC for its level as you retrieve the right object from your Esoterica and use your implement
to empower it.
You gain the following effects until you exploit vulnerabilities again.
So it is once per round.
So I'm going to do this guy here to Jacques' left and roll an Esoterica lore check.
Against a standard DC.
That is a 15.
Success.
And it is a success.
Okay.
Yeah, you'll learn.
You'll learn these.
I'm excited to see this because I have no idea what this class is at all.
Me either.
You recall an important fact about the creature learning its highest weakness or one of its
highest weaknesses if it has multiple of the same value, but not its other weaknesses,
resistances or immunities.
You can exploit either the creature's mortal weakness or personal antithesis.
Your unarmed and weapon strikes against the creature also become magical if they weren't
already.
So these creatures have no weaknesses and no resistances.
Okay.
It's plain old meat sacks.
Level one slimes.
They're probably going to kill us.
Stab through the chest.
I know how brutal a giant bug can be.
I've been stabbed by one before.
Oh yeah.
That's my turn because I had to use an action to pull my implement, pull my, unsheath my
weapon and exploit vulnerability.
So that's my round.
All right.
Next up will be the blood seekers.
The one to your left immediately flies up to you and attempts to slap at you with one
of its barbed legs.
Yuck.
I hate it.
There's a 20.
Oh, that is a hit.
Okay.
It does no damage, but you notice that as the creature slaps you with one of its barbed
legs, it hooks itself into your clothing.
Okay.
I'm familiar with mosquitoes personally.
Yeah.
Shock is not, but.
Is that mechanically a grapple?
It acts as a grapple, making you flat footed while it's attached, but rather than holding
you in place, it moves with you.
As the creature grapples into your clothing, it then rears its body back, revealing a large
proboscis, which then it stabs into you and begins to drain your blood.
Yep.
I'm familiar.
Dammit.
You take two damage.
Jack, these bugs coming.
You didn't see them, but I saw them.
Hang on a second.
Get this thing off you.
Then Colonel Cobb's going to use a reaction called liberating step, which negates up to
three damage.
And on your turn, since you are grappled, you now get to have a free try to get out
of grapple roll.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Oh, do you move?
No.
Okay.
If they're within 15 feet of me.
Sick.
So you get to break out for free right now or on?
Yes, right now.
On right now?
Yeah, go for it.
I attempt to break the grapple.
It's a 14.
That's not enough.
You struggle against the bug, but it just has its barbs dug deep into your armor.
You didn't take the damage, though.
But for its third action, nope, that's all three of its actions, actually.
So that is it for the first one.
The second one, the one in the middle directly in front of Jacques, will also fly up to Jacques
and attempt to attack.
Shit.
That is a 26.
That's a hit.
God.
And it too grabs onto your right shoulder.
And then with its second action, will attempt to drain, or its third action, will attempt
to drain your blood.
Two points of damage.
My boy.
Okay.
And it is the third one's turn, which will do the same as Jacques is the closest.
So Jacques has three of these swarmed onto him.
It will attempt to grab onto you.
That's a 19.
That's a hit.
And I am level one.
Oh yeah.
And for its third action, it will drain one damage from you.
Scarab, your hired hand is now swarmed in bugs.
What do you do?
He runs.
He runs away.
This is what I paid for!
Fuck this!
No, seeing all these bugs on his new compatriot, he's gonna level his weapon with his left
hand and aim towards the one on the third one that just attacked.
He's gonna aim at that one.
Okay, Crystal, don't let me down.
And he fires.
Oof, tend to hit.
That's a miss.
Uh oh, not good.
He's gonna reload and fire again.
At what, a minus four?
Minus five?
Minus five, yeah.
Sorry, I'll try not to hit you!
It's so loud!
Does an 18 hit?
It does.
Hell yeah.
Two damage.
Alright.
Oof.
And that is piercing damage.
Okay.
The bullet tears into the thick carapace of one of the bugs, sending a spray of what you
imagined to be Jacques' blood onto the mud.
Colonel?
Get your hands off my son!
Colonel's gonna draw his blade, which is a freaking cool blade.
It is called a...
Cool blade.
It's called a yuhuan dao.
It's this long, thin blade and it has rings along the back of the blade that shing-de-bling-de-ding
as he pulls it out and runs up to the first big bug and slashes down on it.
Uh oh!
Oh no.
They're right there.
First fight, bad fight.
I didn't even get to meet Jacques.
Is it front or back?
I can't remember.
Thank you.
God damn it.
Uh...
Normal damage, that's cool.
Wait.
Until healed, the target...
This is a critical hit card.
It's in the wrong box.
Yeah.
I knew.
Come on, why do you gotta be a good guy?
Oh, straight!
Do normal damage.
Normal damage and the target's dead.
Oh, fuck.
Uh oh.
My weapon takes 1d6 damage, ignoring hardness.
Okay.
So that sucks.
It sucks, but it's not the worst.
Unless it breaks his sword.
No, sword has more health than six.
One, good.
Yeah, see, that's the thing.
We're not fighting something that's gonna break our weapons, necessarily.
Unless you keep doing that.
So you swing your sword at one of the creatures and it kind of like flitters out of the way
just in time for your sword to go wide and slap into a rock in the ground, nicking the
blade.
Oh no!
That's it for his turn.
Move, draw, blade, attack.
Alright Jacques.
If I escape...
That only escapes from one.
Yes.
Okay, so I'm going to...
Implements empowerment.
It doesn't have, like, any actions.
Next, like, it doesn't say that it's like one action or whatever.
It doesn't have, like, reaction or anything.
This is the power of your implement can also be tuned to the more common task of combat.
It's power adding to and amplifying the effects of runes and other magical empowerments.
When you strike, you can trace mystic patterns with an implement you're holding to empower
the strike, causing it to deal two additional damage per weapon damage die.
Channeling the power requires full use of your hands.
You don't gain the benefit of the implement's empowerment if you are holding anything in
either hand other than a simple one-handed weapon, which I have.
Other implements are esoterica and you must be holding at least one implement to gain
the benefit.
I am holding my amulet.
Okay.
So, the action and power gives you plus two damage on your next attack.
Cool.
So, I will do that and I am going to attack the one that is directly in front of him.
Wait, which one is taking damage?
I'm sorry.
The one on your right.
So, he'll attack that one.
That is a ten.
That's a miss.
Yeah.
He'll attempt another hit on that one.
One thing.
Per episode?
Per episode.
So, don't like we're being...
It's not like we're going to, if we play five episodes and don't use one, we're not going
to get five.
It's like per episode.
So, god damn it.
I forgot all about it.
Yeah, feel free to use your hero point.
Yeah.
Sit in your plane with it and I forgot about it.
He's going to try and attack again.
That is an 11.
A second miss.
Shit.
So, I will...
I'm just going to try again.
Third attack at a minus ten?
Yep.
Get it.
Get that 20.
Natural 20.
Come on.
No.
Oh, fuck.
Uh-oh.
You're going to blow it.
Twice.
Jesus.
Oh, a bunch of bugs are going to kill us.
I know.
It's like always how the first combat goes.
It's just brutal.
It's brutal awakening.
Okay.
So, he's confused.
He's confused as to even though these things are attached to him that he can't hit him.
So, I am just...
He is confused.
Doesn't have a duration.
Makes sense.
I think confusion only lasts one round.
You just got swarmed by a bunch of bugs and they're draining your blood.
You can feel like your arm is getting heavy as the blood is leaving your body.
You are flat-footed.
You treat known as your ally.
You can't delay or ready or use reactions.
Use all of your actions to strike or cast offensive cantrips.
Also I can have you do other actions such as draw a weapon and move, yada yada.
Targets are determined randomly by me.
And if you have no other targets, you target yourself.
Automatically hitting but not scoring a crit.
You guys remember that really old movie?
I think it was like a 90s movie where the guy got hit by darts that put his arms to
sleep.
And he was like, oh my heart.
And then he got hit in the knees and he was like, oh no.
What movie was that?
Amod?
Ace Ventura?
Oh yeah, when nature calls that movie.
That one.
It's kind of like that movie, Amod.
Startin' to get numb.
Three or too many.
Okay.
Well, that's my round.
Yes, Matthew.
Then it goes to each of them again and they will begin to drain your blood.
The first one drains two health from you.
There goes my stamina.
I'm gonna negate that with my reaction.
Now you wait a second.
Okay, this could be big.
You stop it.
So you don't take the two damage and you get to roll to escape.
That counts.
No it doesn't.
Just kidding.
Come on, these things can't have good fortitude.
That is a 15.
15 exactly.
Yes.
Okay, so I'm out of one of them.
Empowered by your stepfather, you wrench this thing free and fling it off of your body.
Hell yeah.
Empowered by your stepfather.
I've never heard that before in my life.
These are actually very hard to read.
This one's to all the dads out there.
I need to see if it was a six or a nine.
It's okay.
It has two more actions.
So with its last two it's going to move and try to grapple you again.
It's 21.
Can you stop?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, but I won't.
I'm level one.
He's not draining your blood though.
He's out of action so he's just reattached.
Just slide back into that.
You know when you take a tack out of a wall.
You are also bleeding one after wrenching the creature free.
Now normally it doesn't work because you're being grappled by two other creatures, but
if you break out of a grapple you also get to step as well, a five foot step.
But they're not holding you still so if you wanted to move away you could.
There is no bleeding.
That would take an action away from.
It did still move and then attack.
There is no bleeding so just remind me.
Okay.
It is the second one directly in front of Jacques and it is going to attempt to drain
your blood.
Three points.
Damn.
Okay.
That is all my stamina.
And it will do it again.
Three more points.
Oof.
Alright.
I'm not looking so hot.
Third action is also draining blood for one more point.
Really not looking so hot.
It is going to the third one which will do the same.
It's going to drain three times.
Fuck.
One point.
Okay.
Four points.
Jacques is unconscious and dying.
This bad.
This is real bad.
Yeah.
And the last one?
Yeah.
Well the last one is three.
Which only matters for it not for you.
So that puts you to dying too.
Well that takes a resolve.
Right?
Because we're using stamina.
So.
Well the dying things are still there.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you're just dying too.
It is scarab stern.
You need to save your teammates so bad.
Don't forget your hero points.
I don't know if this would work because they're bugs.
That's the thing.
Yeah scarab seeing Jacques fall.
It's like oh no.
And his little pig takes off running.
At the one on the right that had been shot previously.
The little pig is charging.
It's going to run up and do a tusk attack.
At the aforementioned shot creature.
So it charges for two actions.
It runs and attacks.
Poor roll.
A ten to hit.
That's a miss.
You still have two actions yourself.
I will use a point.
To roll twice and take the better.
For another tusk attack.
Unless I can't.
You use one action to give your companion two actions.
Or you can spend two actions to give him three.
This would be two for three.
My bad I should have called that at first.
Of course I roll a 19 and an 18.
I'll take the 19 minus 5 for a 15 plus 6 for a 21.
That's a hit.
Good.
Come on big damage.
And it is.
That's going to be nine piercing damage.
And you smash the bug.
Yes.
Little piggy smashes the bug.
One down two to go.
But that's the other issue.
My gun isn't loaded.
I'll give it a shot and see if it works because I'm reloading anyway.
Rockin Tours reload.
Hey you over here.
Scarab starts screaming at the two still living bugs doing a deception to create a diversion.
With Rockin Tours reload I get to reload my weapon while either I can intimidate to demoralize
the foe or deception to create a diversion.
I don't know if these guys can be demoralized.
I don't know if they can be diverted.
But he's going to scream and I'm going to do a deception roll.
Go for it.
It's going to be a 12 on deception.
It seems like they pay you no mind.
His gun's reloaded though and that's all he's got.
Alright Colonel can you save the day?
Get off my son.
He's going to swing Yau Hine Dao down with one of these guys spending a PP.
Come on, come on.
That's a good roll.
17 plus 6 that's 23.
See if we can get a better one.
I'll take the 23 to hit.
That's a hit.
Seven slashing.
Against which one?
The one right in front of him.
And you kill that one as well.
Oh fuck yeah.
Okay, okay.
And then Colonel takes a step forward onto the bug, reaches down and lays on hands.
Which gives Jock 6 hit points.
And no longer dying?
Correct.
Yeah.
And that is Colonel's turn.
Everything's going to be alright son.
You still got one on you.
Passes out.
Alright well, Jock will stand up for one action and I too will use my PP.
Use it with pride.
I'm going to, am I still confused?
No.
I would say you'd lose the condition.
You went unconscious.
Also it's been around.
I will free action, use my Implements Empowerment and take a strike at the other one.
The last one.
That is a 14 to hit.
Sorry a 15 to hit.
15 is a miss.
Damn.
That's ridiculous.
Oh I only rolled once, I'm sorry.
I used my thing.
Now roll again.
A 16 to hit.
AC 16.
Oh my god.
Roll damage.
Oh my god, okay.
I think you used that PP.
Don't hear Joopsy.
That is an 11 damage.
11 damage.
It had 9 HP and it dies.
Yes.
Oh my god.
Good god.
Oh my god.
I was just, I thought I was dead.
I genuinely just thought I was dead.
So I have a question.
Since I fell, since I was unconscious and dying, do I lose a resolve already?
No.
The only time you lose a resolve is if you spend it to get up or you spend it to get
your stamina back.
Okay.
So yeah, immediately Colonel Cobb is gonna reach down and lay on hands on you again.
Give you 6 more.
Does that bring your HP all the way up?
It does.
So your wounded is gone.
Okay.
I forgot to hit this one.
You are down one resolve because you took damage while dying.
I thought I just put you to dying too.
It takes one of your resolve and stamina.
Oh it does?
That's what I thought.
Oh okay.
Because resolve takes the place of your dying condition.
Yeah.
That's why.
Well we still have the dying, up to dying 4.
Right, and then you die die.
But resolve is part of that too because if you get knocked down enough you can't stabilize
an ergo you will die.
Ah.
If you're not healed by somebody else.
So you are down one resolve because of the mosquito that drained you after you were unconscious.
Yeah.
That's what I figured.
But that can only happen once per turn and in order for you to lose an additional resolve
the creature would have to do half of your HP in one hit to take another resolve.
So I'm down to one resolve.
That was rough.
Sorry I didn't say anything earlier when I saw those things.
The forest smiles upon you this day.
I would like to maybe go back.
Go back and rest please.
We can camp here!
Wonderful.
You guys want to settle in and make camp for the night?
I only have one resolve.
Yeah but going all the way back to town might be just as dangerous.
I'm down to rest.
He wants to rest in either case.
He's out of stamina and he has no resolve.
Or is one resolve.
I mean I haven't used, you know, I don't have magical abilities or haven't taken damage
so I can like watch at least give a leg up if something is to happen.
Colonel just needs to refocus.
Just pray for 20 minutes and he gets his spells back.
Cool.
Yeah.
Down to chill so my men don't die.
If I just take a short rest to regain my stamina I will be 100% out of resolve.
Yeah and that's not good.
So I need to rest.
The day is late.
You could set up camp.
Continue your search in the morning.
It will be a little lighter.
It will be a little easier to see.
It is fair.
No one says we can't go to sleep.
So yeah Jacques will pull off one of his bags, pull out a sleeping bag, set it up, pull out
a little pillow, pull out a...
He will go through another bag, pull out a small cup and also from deep within that bag
he will place a small clasped shut bottle and he will pour that into his cup and from
attached to the back of his outermost bag he will pull off some stitched dolls and he
will begin drinking his beverage and sewing one of his dolls.
And he's just...
Sewing and drinking.
I imagine Colonel standing uncomfortably close, hands on his hips, just observing many.
Takes a few steps away, pulls out.
Compared to yours just looks like crap, just a basic bedroll.
Throws it down, pops off his armor.
Just collapses.
Looking up into the stars.
Scarab what's your pig's name?
It's very brave.
Oh this?
It's just a pig.
I'm pretty proud of it though, that was cool.
Got a brave honker over there.
Nothing like my light foot but it's okay.
Almost done.
Scarab's gonna sit against a tree.
Oh you're good son.
He's just over there just...
I do this thing.
You should go to sleep.
When I'm anxious and I...
I crash to calm down, he does the same thing.
Yeah he's gonna go to sleep, he's just doing a little bit to calm himself down.
He's drinking his sleepy time.
Tea.
He's going to bed.
Going his drugs again.
My favorite drug is the clean air.
The time you spent with him in the forest, you realize he has no survival or nature or
anything.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
His armor's too clean.
No worries, take your rests.
I'll keep watch.
Colonel Cobb falls asleep.
And so you rest for the night and nothing happens.
And as the first bit of day's light begins to breach the canopy of the trees, you slowly
begin to awake.
Fully rested.
So Colonel shoots up, he just has this as usual dead look in his eyes.
It's very loud.
Sorry, I can't help it.
It just happens.
In the early morning.
You also, as he's sleeping, hear a shock.
People say it's a nervous tick.
I don't know.
It just happens.
Always knowing what time it is, it's a curse.
Yeah after you, after you caw, Scarab's just like sitting there with his gun out, hand
laying on the ground and he wakes up, wakes up readily.
Yeah, yeah, hmm, ah!
Oh!
He slept on that.
We're fine.
We made it through the night.
Thank goodness I kept watch.
Thank you for keeping watch.
Of course.
Like I said.
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