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Welcome to Cultural Connections Lab. I'm your host Dr. Kelly Forbes. We are here to talk with educational professionals around the world to impact and influence the education system as we focus on cultural connections and the education of multilingual, diverse students.

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We're excited to have you join us today. We sincerely hope that you enjoy the show.

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EDGISKILLS, transforming education, one student at a time.

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Welcome to another podcast with your host, myself, Dr. Kelly Forbes. And welcome again to a wonderful guest that we have today. I'm excited to introduce a very dear friend of mine whom I have met many years ago. And I'm just excited to have her here. Her name is Monica Suyo.

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Monica Suyo moved from Lima, Peru to Norman, Oklahoma in 2001. Her dream was to study abroad and explore other cultures. Prior to studying at the University of Oklahoma, go boomer sooner, Monica was an exchange student in Sevilla, Spain.

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She graduated from OU in 2004 with a bachelor's degree in psychology. She also holds a master's degree in human relations. She's been in education for over 15 years and has professional experience in educational settings ranging from pre-K to post-secondary.

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Currently, she is the director of recruitment and community engagement at Cristo Rey Oklahoma City High School, a private high school in Oklahoma City. Previously, she was the assistant director of TRIO, an upward bound program at Oklahoma City Community College.

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Before OCCC, Monica was the dean of academic programs at Le Monde International School, a language immersion public charter school in Norman, Oklahoma. Apart from her professional experiences, she has been a volunteer and board member on numerous nonprofits.

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Monica, as the director of recruitment and community engagement, enjoys being out in the community and making sure people know what Cristo Rey Oklahoma City High School is all about. She is looking to build more of a presence in the community and would love to make sure that everyone in and around Oklahoma City and beyond knows about Cristo Rey.

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Also, her goal is to spread more information about what it takes to be admitted to Cristo Rey and what it means to be a part of the school. What she loves is to work with families and enjoys working with students along with getting to know them.

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Monica currently resides in Norman, Oklahoma with her husband Ryan, whom she met at OU when they were both undergraduates.

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They have been married for 20 years and have a son Samuel, or Sam, Samuel. And Sam is the owner of Heavenly Nectar and actively participates in other programs and activities from LoveWorks Leadership Organization.

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Monica enjoys traveling and has been to numerous places and historical sites in her home country of Peru. She also has traveled to numerous places in the United States, including Orlando, Washington DC, St. Louis and her personal favorite, Eureka Springs in Arkansas.

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Thank you for being here and welcome. Well, thank you so much. This is a pleasure and very excited to just be here and share my story and also share some wisdom and knowledge.

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I'm so excited. I know that so listeners just so you know, I had the privilege to be with Monica yesterday on a pilot program for her podcast and I think that officially unofficially it will be called something to the tune of Tu Historia Cuenta.

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There it is like your story counts. And it was so much fun so I'm glad now we get to go ahead and kind of switch it up a little bit and now you get to be on this side of it with me and so I'm excited.

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It's a pleasure to be talking with you and talking about what is our passion that is education. Well we are definitely I mean I don't know if I know that many more people that are so passionate of them than us here in this great state of Oklahoma.

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The only other person that I can think would be as passionate is our awesome co host today, Dr. Taylor Tribble, President CEO of Edgy Skills, our sponsor for this podcast and so welcome Dr. Tribble.

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Yeah, let's try to think when we met in person was what how many years ago. I actually it was five six more. Probably yes yes because you were, it was a PD for if I'm not mistaken for teachers.

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And that's when Tracy Morales was part of your team. Yes, yes. That's correct. Yeah. Yeah.

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It's so nice to be able to have these connections here in Oklahoma with people from so many different backgrounds but like you said with the same passion that that we have and I was trying to remember and I, and to be honest I can't 100% remember how you and I met the first time.

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I don't remember either the first day but definitely have to be about through music, or probably a community event.

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Like a minute or two. I'm not I love music.

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Oh, Dr. Forbes.

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I love, definitely I love culture I love to just know everyone's story and I'm international exchange students so definitely I appreciate what everybody bring to the table so appreciate that I met Kelly in a community event.

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I'm curious. You cannot forget. You can't forget Kelly. Yeah.

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I love it. I love it. Thank you. Every time I'm with Kelly, we're speaking in Spanish, people are convinced that he's not American.

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So, you know I really can't remember like I said how we met but I know that we've met somehow through like we're discussing right now just our passions and so, which is kind of nice that we don't necessarily remember because I just feel like we've been friends forever

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and for so long I really feel connected to you and, anyhow, I'm just I'm always, I'm always thankful whenever I stop and I reflect upon, like, all these great relationships I have in my life and so I'm thankful that that not only are you here to share with all the listeners but just that I get to, you know, share part of this world and life with you so.

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Thank you so much. Thank you for all that you do.

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It's so true because we don't always see each other but it's as if we never were apart whenever we see each other again.

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Now, I will say though, there are parts of your story that I that I don't know right and so I know that you said that you had listened to a few of the episodes of cultural connections lab. Yes, especially yours one. Oh, I think.

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You know, your grandmother. Yes, there's. Yeah, I mean so like you know, all of our listeners know about my grandparents always joke that like, everyone only knows them by, you know, Kelly's Kiki or Kelly's Papa is that they don't know our names, they just know Kelly's Kiki or Kelly's Papa.

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So, you know, thinking about our past people who have helped us and influence us. Would you share with us your story because you're to a story of cuenta like your story counts and so I know that you do have a very exceptional story of you moving from Lima, Peru, coming to the United States, and just starting from the beginning about that because like we were saying before in this podcast, we like to discuss those connections and not just connections that we have among each other.

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But the cultural connections that we have and the role that culture plays. And so you are coming from a very distinct and unique experience coming from Lima, Peru, all the way here, what you're, you know, we just read your incredible bio, but then even just as recent as of yesterday, you even were talking about and considering how your accent had even changed that people thought that you might be from Peru and there's just a whole lot that goes with that.

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So yes, and that's the beauty of language, you know, and that's the beauty of being bilingual at the same time because, first of all, I studied English in a formal way. So I was in a bilingual school back in Lima, Peru.

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My mom practically convinced my dad to send me to a private school where they were teaching English every day, one or two hours a day.

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So how common is that in Lima, Peru? In Lima, Peru, when you are in a public system, you don't learn English until you're in high school. Kind of similar like here, or it's a different exposure. It's a very basic English. So my parents were always looking for ways that I, you know, they can give me a good education.

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You know, my parents are not rich, they're not extremely poor, we're from middle class, and my parents were all about education. So my mom, you know, lost her mom when she was three months old. My mom is those type of people that started working when she was little.

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You know, she was the, I always remember the stories that she tell me that probably when I was a teenager, kind of like ignore it, or I say, mom, stop it. You always tell me the same thing.

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You know, but I now that I'm a mom, I reflect a lot about it because to lose your mom when you're three months old is hard. Because my mom said that she had to be with different relatives, you know, like, you know, like living with different relatives.

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And then in the summer to work as a nanny, you know, for those rich families, or sell things in the market to buy her own things. So for me, in that moment, I didn't realize of that powerful story of my mom, you know, and I feel that she was just trying to tell me that it was all about empowerment.

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And I feel that I never appreciate that back in the time, because when I grew up, my parents were already married. We have a decent home. So I feel, you know, kind of like you feel like you're good, you're in a safe environment, you don't struggle.

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But then I understand my mom when I moved here, because when you move, you start from zero. Right. So I feel that if I was that Monica back in the time that dreaming and excited about things and opportunities because of my mom and my dad.

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My dad, you know, she he lost his dad when he was 10 years old, he was older, but he comes from a family where all the boys went to college by all the girls that stay at home.

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But my grandma never learned how to read or write. So my grandma when you know she lost her husband, what my grandma did is just doing business, selling you know the cows because they both were there from the highland selling the cows or selling anything that they have all the animals and trying to work by herself and create businesses.

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To making sure that all my uncles go to college. But unfortunately, all my aunties, they didn't go to college. So my dad always want to be a doctor. He couldn't be a doctor because he thought that for my grandma would be so expensive to cover that.

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So he decided to become an engineer. But guess what? The next my next uncle who is the youngest one, he became a doctor.

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So anyway, so it's it's amazing the story of both of them. But like I said, you know, when you are younger, sometimes you don't appreciate those stories. And then but then when you grow up and then you go through the difficulties of become of being an immigrant and being practically alone and just placing the spot.

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And you start being you know, leaving all the experience and also turning on the survival mode that you realize that all those stories and my mom and my dad were telling me when I was younger, it was helping me to just continue living a life here or start a new life here.

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What was what was that like? I mean,

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in the moment because like, I know that we discussed this with about our students sometimes they can go through, you know, and this is the short of the long the kind of those four H's, where you have a honeymoon phase.

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And you have a hostility phase. You have a humor phase. And then you finally have that home phase. And so whenever you discuss like, you know, the difficulties that someone would face.

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Immigrating from one country and immigrating to this other right to be here. What was that? What was that? I think that I think that will help me in my case to survive. I have a living here in Oklahoma and now being able to say I'm happy and I have my family here.

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I feel the beginning was I was I was a young college student. And you came when you were a college student. Yes, that's how I came as an exchange student. So but before that I went to Spain.

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So traditionally in Peru, and I think this is with all the Hispanic cultures, when you stay with your parents until you get married. So I was yes.

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So you go to you go to college. First of all, college in my country is seven years. It's not four years right here because I was going for educational psychology when I was going to college in Peru.

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Seven years because you have two years of general studies and there's your specialization. Then you decide where you go, which type of psychology you like. So I was going for educational psychology. So education was always in my heart and mind.

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So what I was saying is that you live with your parents. It's impossible or it's very hard to work and go to college because it's seven years, 21 credits per semester.

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And you do a lot of volunteer. Yeah, a lot of volunteer work and practice. I was doing actually test, intelligent test, personality test before getting my bachelor's.

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So it was so that in where I was just learning and I always loved the fact that my mom and all my vacations take me everywhere to travel around Peru because for her it was very important that I know first my country before I even tried to go abroad.

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So I think that my mom just teach me about appreciating different cultures and especially because of everything that she experienced, she always tell me to help people, to learn from people and treat everybody with respect.

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So when my mom was taking me on all those trips, I think that she was putting a little seed on me like I was always curious what's beyond Peru.

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So, and also I was trying to be independent because you know, believe it or not, living with your parents is so much fun and easy, right? I don't have to be worried about bills or cooking, you know, so I always want to be more independent and learn about the world.

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So when I transferred to a different university, what is funny is that I transferred to a harder and challenging university.

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That was when they have an exchange program. My first university was all women university and it was quite easy for me. You know, I was the top student and then, you know, I don't know why, what craziness happened in that moment that I decided to transfer.

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And one of my best friends that was transferring with me decided at the end to not transfer and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to continue because it was so hard to convince my dad.

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At first it was hard to convince my dad that I want psychology because he wanted me to be a doctor. Probably he wants to fulfill his dream through me. He was trying to convince me anyway, I will buy you a car, you know, I will give you this or that.

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You have some bribery.

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But that didn't happen. So it was my mom actually who took me to this university for psychology and said, go ahead and apply. And in Peru, different than here, you take an admission exam for each university that you want to apply. It's not the same.

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You know, it's not like here you're ACT or SAT. Totally different system. So my mom was the one that took me to that university, all girls university, all female university. And my mom was like, okay, this is it. Your dad don't want it, but you're going to apply and you're going to take the test.

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So I passed the test. So it was already hard for my dad to get used to the idea. Okay, she's going to study psychology, what he didn't want originally. And then he's going to this university, a private university as well. And then it took me time to convince him because my dad is very rational and objective.

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He will be the type of dad that will tell you, give me the pro and cons for everything. So believe it or not, it's funny to say this, I'm like that with my son.

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I was like pro and cons, you know, for those big decisions. We'll have him on a future episode and have him tell us about his mama. Yes, that's for sure.

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And anyway, so I couldn't say my dad, I'm not moving, I'm not transferring, when I already convinced him. So it was good that I transferred to Universidad Católica del Peru because that university provided me the opportunity to go on a change program.

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I don't know if I'm one of the few that read the newsletters, but I read the newsletter that they have an exchange program. No one ever reads that.

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Yeah, study abroad office. They say that they have an study abroad office, that they have an exchange program with many universities around the world and I'm like, I want to do that.

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So I went, I asked them, you know, where they're going and they say, well, you know, where do you want to go and I don't know why I picked Spain, so I picked Spain for the summer program.

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And I went to that one. And like my dad always said, that was your vacaciones de verano. It's true.

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Because Spain, it's different culture, very laid back. In Sevilla? In Sevilla, very laid back. Yes.

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You know, they take breaks for coffee, they close early. I was like, where I am? Because I'm from the capital.

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You know, and everything is fast paced. But then you go to Spain, Sevilla en el sur, and I was like, okay.

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But it was my first opportunity for me to be independent, be by myself, you know, challenge myself and feel who I am.

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Because before I feel that I was under my parents umbrella or shadow. You know, like you have to write from high school, you have to go to college.

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There was no other possibility. But in that moment, I was just being myself. You know, when people were from around the world and they love that.

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I love that idea of just being there in a different type of city, trying to figure it out, the buses and everything, and how to go to one place to another, to just be immersed in that culture.

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They didn't have Google Maps back then. Yeah, they didn't have Google Maps.

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I like thinking back to how I used to get around all over the world. It's like, how did I show up at these different places?

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Let me tell you, I get lost. That's the funny thing. You know, I come from Lima, but in Lima it's totally different. So easy for me to move around.

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But then I got lost and people were so nice to help. People were so nice because it's Sevilla in the south and the people is so energetic and vibrant.

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So that was my first experience. And from there, I was like, you know what, I want to go to another exchange program because the beauty of exchange programs is that my dad will be paying my tuition in Peru, but I'll be taking classes either in Spain or here.

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So that was good. So for my dad, I don't have to spend money, extra money on that. The only thing that my dad will have to, well, in Spain, the good thing because it's a summer program, everything was paid.

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Like housing, you know, and then the classes. The only thing that my dad had to pay was definitely the airfare and then an extra money if I want to travel around.

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But so when I went back, I applied and I was already selected to go to the University of Canada, sorry, Alberta in Canada, University of Alberta, I was selected.

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But I was like, no, I cannot go back because it was like I came back, you know, the year is different. In Peru, you rest on the summer when I know what summer from January to March.

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And then you have a big year starting March. Yes. So it is totally different than here. So in Spain is the same, you know, because they're in the North Hemisphere.

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So it's similar here. So when I went there, I lose some classes, I miss some classes. So my friends were able to give me some notes.

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But I was thinking if I go in the next month to University of Alberta, I'm going to miss more classes. And my dad was like, uh, like you already transferred, you know, like University.

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Hello, when you're graduating in seven years, when is going to happen? So yeah, and then so I say no to that.

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But then another best friend wants to go because I'll start telling people change programs are like it's a thing, you know, it's a reality. You should be doing this.

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I've always said you should travel. Yes, exactly. So anyway, so to another best friend in the new university, I talked about it and she said, you know, I want to go to University of Maryland.

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I said, sure. So she applied for that. And then I really want to go to University of Texas, believe it or not. That was my passion because they have a good psychology program.

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And then back in the time when they had the computers, you could see the big university. And I was like, I want to actually apply two times for University of Texas. The first time I was.

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You can't say that too loud right now. I know. I know. My hands are always like what? You can say I wanted to go as well.

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The first time when I applied to when I was selected for University of Alberta, I was denied because Texas was always my priority. I don't know why. It called me crazy.

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You weren't the only one that was denied. Very selective. Very selective. Oh, yeah. It's difficult to get into.

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Okay. Gracias. Gracias. Me hace sentir mejor. But anyway, so the second time University of Maryland was my first option because I wanted to be with her. My second was Texas and last one was Oklahoma.

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Like why Oklahoma though? It is because. Because it was close to Texas? No, because I met a student from OU as an exchange student in my university.

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Sounds like okay, you know, why not? Let's put it. So when they called me, they said, hey, you know, you've been selected for OU. And I was like what?

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And I was like, what about Maryland? They haven't sent their acceptance, but if you say no to OU and then the other one says no, you're not going anywhere.

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So that was a hard option. So say, you know, you can wait, but if you say no to OU and then Maryland say no to you, you have nothing. So I was like, oh my gosh.

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And then my friend was selected for Maryland and I went to OU. So we didn't come to the same university. She also is married to an American here.

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But it was interesting to come to Oklahoma. I'm going to tell you that. Interesting is a nice way to say it. Did you say yes automatically or did you wait?

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I wait one day and then I was like, okay, let's do that. So my mom was like, you're going. And I said, but yeah, but my dad don't want anymore because my dad told me very clear.

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You already have your vacation in Spain. That's it. You know, like already paid for your vacation. So my mom convinced my dad again.

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That's why I said that my mom is my best friend and my angel. And then she convinced my dad again with the point or, you know, saying that it's going to be in English.

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It's going to be a challenge. She's not going to be, you know, like on a summer vacation. This is going to be real. It's a whole whatever.

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I was coming for a year or two semesters. So it's not that I was just coming for one semester. I'm also a student.

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So I don't know what I was thinking that moment because now that I go back, I was like, oh, I don't know how I did it because I learned English.

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Like I said, when I was in high school, well, actually from first grade all the way to my last year, my senior year, I never use it because there's no need to use in Lima.

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Yes, I like music, but not like to the point that I will know every lyrics. I know that people like.

127
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Not like Kelly knowing Spanish.

128
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Yes, exactly. Exactly. Probably I invent words here and there in an English song. I didn't pay attention, you know.

129
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:21,000
So it was so life is like that. Right. Life is very ironica.

130
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:27,000
La vida es ironica. And I was like, I remember I said I will never live in the United States.

131
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And that's when I learned my lesson. Never say it. Never. Because I say I never will live in the United States.

132
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:41,000
You know, I mean, always and never or two words that you should always remember to never use. Yes.

133
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Profundo. Profundo.

134
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:50,000
No, but yeah, yeah, because I everyone in my family is like, you would like to live in the US? No. Are you crazy?

135
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:55,000
You know, like I want to live in a place with history, you know, and all buildings, you know, like Europe.

136
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:02,000
I was thinking like and the food I want, you know, because Peruvian food is so good. I want flavor and all that.

137
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:08,000
And here I am. Hamburgers. Yes. No, actually, I just I would, you know, country fried steak.

138
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I would do that. I'd have mashed potato, green beans. Exactly.

139
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:19,000
So let me tell you, when I go to Peru, if I stay so long, I miss Oklahoma because now Oklahoma is my home.

140
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:27,000
And now Oklahoma food, I miss that. I miss the Italian food from here and the Mexican food that I cannot get anywhere else.

141
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,000
Now that is true, even in the United States. Oklahoma is the best Mexican food.

142
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:41,000
So just going back to my story, so I came to Oklahoma and I said that my experience was interesting because I come from a capital that you have 10, maybe now 18 million people.

143
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And my campus is huge in Lima and you have to go and it's all, you know, surrounded by walls.

144
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It's not like here open campus and you go through security and it's massive people that are walking.

145
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,000
And, you know, to go from one college to another college is like a very long distance.

146
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,000
So when I came here, I think that the size was not a problem.

147
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Yeah, you're like, I can do this. I can do this.

148
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:16,000
But I think the problem, first of all, it was that back in 2001, as you know, Oklahoma City was very bad in the sense like there was not that many variety of restaurants.

149
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You know, the Civic Center, there was not that many shows, no singers, I think, coming to come here to do concerts.

150
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Everything shut down at like, you know, six o'clock at night.

151
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Yes, yes. Streets abandoned downtown.

152
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Yes. So I was excited to be at OU campus because it's very diverse and international.

153
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The international population is very high and I try to be involved as much as I can.

154
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000
I relate with so many other exchange students.

155
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:48,000
But like you said, everything close at two in the morning when you are a young college student and in Peru, everything close at five or six in the morning and you can be dancing all night.

156
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Yes.

157
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,000
And you know, when you go to Spain, you can be partying until three or four and then you take the bus and it's safe.

158
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000
You can leave it on a Monday and you go to work the next day.

159
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Yeah, exactly. And in Spain, you know how it is any day is a party.

160
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000
They work to live, not live to work.

161
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,000
Exactly. So at the beginning, I didn't like that about Oklahoma.

162
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Like the campus, I love OU, but outside of the campus, I was like, this is not a place for me to live.

163
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You know, like it's boring. I'm sorry to say that, but now I love it.

164
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000
But anyway, back in the time, I was like, Brick Town, it was not Brick Town that it's nowadays.

165
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,000
It's so different now.

166
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,000
It was so different and I thought that I would never stay here.

167
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,000
You know, and I came in the year of 9-11.

168
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000
So that was rough.

169
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:33,000
You know, like I cannot believe that the two difficult times, the US history, like COVID and you know, September 11,

170
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Ice Prince being here.

171
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:40,000
And I was in shock because back in the time as exchange student, I didn't have a TV.

172
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:45,000
I just had my computer and I was watching the news in the computer and I couldn't believe it.

173
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:49,000
I was like, what? A first world country have these type of attacks?

174
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Like I'm not safe here. What's going on?

175
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You know, like, you know, in that moment, it was scary.

176
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For everybody, but you had a different point of view.

177
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:06,000
In reality, like I was coming with all this excitement and I was so brave and I didn't worry about safety.

178
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Disneyland.

179
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Exactly.

180
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,000
You know?

181
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000
We talked about when that was done.

182
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000
You're like, oh my gosh, it's going to be all this.

183
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000
It's going to be I felt like it's going to be great.

184
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Yeah.

185
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Nothing bad is going to happen.

186
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000
I'm in a first world country.

187
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Right.

188
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,000
And then when I saw that September 11, I was like, oh my God, we are not safe.

189
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Very sad.

190
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000
And it was sad because, you know, I was like, what happened?

191
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,000
There was no security in the airport.

192
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:37,000
You know, like I started thinking things that I'm used to back in Peru, but I saw that here all the measures were in place.

193
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I thought that nothing bad could happen in the US.

194
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,000
So did we.

195
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Right.

196
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,000
And then so my years in the OU were beautiful.

197
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
I met my husband.

198
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He was my classmate.

199
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Yeah.

200
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000
So but many people ask me, do you say because of your house?

201
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,000
No.

202
00:29:55,000 --> 00:30:01,000
You know, I have a wonderful advisor, Karen Elmore, who is the godmother of my son.

203
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:08,000
And Karen was one of those beautiful people that would hold my hand and say, it's OK, because at the beginning you're excited.

204
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
Then came September 11.

205
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
Then I felt sick.

206
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:17,000
And then I experienced, sorry to say, this horrible medical system here.

207
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Yeah.

208
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:23,000
You know, like I had to see a physician before I see the specialist.

209
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:29,000
When in Peru, I can go straight to the specialist and I can pay it out of pocket and I don't need insurance.

210
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Yes.

211
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
So I was in my experience with other countries too.

212
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Yes.

213
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000
I currently don't even have insurance.

214
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,000
So I'm like in that situation, I'm like, how do you get?

215
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Yeah.

216
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000
And I have insurance because an exchange student, you have to come with insurance.

217
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
You pay for your insurance.

218
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,000
But I was like, so I experienced that back to back.

219
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So then I started getting like depressed.

220
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I was like, what's going on?

221
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,000
You know, because, you know, everybody was already sad because of September 11.

222
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Everybody was scared.

223
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Then I get sick.

224
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
They couldn't figure out what I have.

225
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
And then unfortunately it was bed bugs.

226
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000
I'm allergic to bed bugs because I was.

227
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
I think we all are.

228
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,000
We don't want them.

229
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Yes.

230
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,000
So I don't know.

231
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Maybe I never was exposed to bed bugs in Peru.

232
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
Again, it's like.

233
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Welcome to Oklahoma.

234
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Because in Oklahoma, I meet or encounter different critters that I've never seen in my life.

235
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,000
For all those listeners out there, I've lived in Oklahoma many years.

236
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,000
Never have I had bed bugs.

237
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,000
So anyway.

238
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,000
I haven't either, unfortunately.

239
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Believe it or not, I live in an apartment on campus.

240
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
So I was exposed there.

241
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,000
So there's a lot happening in the university dorm.

242
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Yes.

243
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
I wasn't even in a dorm.

244
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,000
I was in the apartment.

245
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,000
But all my roommates, they were fine.

246
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,000
It was only me who reacted because I have allergy to that.

247
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,000
So yes, you could have a bite, but mine started spreading everywhere.

248
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
And it was, I was like, what the heck I have to do?

249
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:04,000
I thought in my head, because I went to New York, so that probably I was exposed to something.

250
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
You know, all the crazy theories.

251
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
That had to be it.

252
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000
It had to be New York.

253
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000
New York's the problem.

254
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000
You're so scared.

255
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,000
You know, like.

256
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:19,000
No, it was so you because I'm glad that they take responsibility because then they moved me by myself to a dorm.

257
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,000
And I experienced all the culture of a dorm that I never did.

258
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:29,000
I was in Coach Tower in the very in the top, in the, you know, the top floor.

259
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,000
And I was having my own door, what is nice.

260
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000
But I was like different type of environment.

261
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:39,000
You know, you come from all the international community to all.

262
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:45,000
I don't know where the girls come from, but a lot of them, you know, all of them, you know, from here or I'll stay.

263
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000
But they look different than me.

264
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Totally different back in the time.

265
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:56,000
So I was like, you know, being the elevator from the top floor to the first floor, you just encounter different people, conversations, pink color everywhere.

266
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000
And I was like, where's all this pink?

267
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000
You know, right.

268
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000
And then compliments like, I love your hair.

269
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,000
I love these.

270
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,000
I love that.

271
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:16,000
I was like, OK, you know, like it's it is different, you know, like when you're used to different culture, you know, the European community looks different than the South American community, you know, all our international students.

272
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000
So I made my husband.

273
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,000
But before that, it was the director of the change program.

274
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:28,000
She was director of international program, Dr. Miliara, who told me, would you like to transfer?

275
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000
And I say, how easy is that?

276
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:41,000
And she said, to just give me your transcript, I will make sure you know that in the board's office, you know, somebody that in admissions also clear your transcript and it will be OK.

277
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,000
And I was like, I mean, I even thought about the cost in a moment.

278
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000
You just did it.

279
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:52,000
And then they told me she will be two years in and I literally I went there to admissions.

280
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000
Now you don't do that.

281
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:58,000
And I went translating in front of the person to admissions director of every class.

282
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000
I translated this is this this and then he was trying to compare.

283
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
OK, this looks like this.

284
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:07,000
So you're saying officially transfer from the college university in Lima to University of Oklahoma.

285
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
Yeah, yeah.

286
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:13,000
I did that. But back in the time, they trust my translation.

287
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,000
You got to translate your own transcripts.

288
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Yes.

289
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
That's like Ferris Bueller.

290
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
Yeah.

291
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:24,000
You know, it was not like now officially have to come from a company or organizations that they officially certified that is translated.

292
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Back in the time, no, it was not that easy.

293
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
If only I could have done that.

294
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,000
I would have done so much better.

295
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,000
They would have seen right through you.

296
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000
They believe she was top of her class.

297
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:41,000
We actually have a lot of credit when I came as an exchange student.

298
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:45,000
I couldn't believe it that to be an educational psychology need a master.

299
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
I was getting that on my bachelor's.

300
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:55,000
So my advisor, Karen Elmore, she was so nice to talk to different college because the College of Education back in the time was kind of difficult.

301
00:34:55,000 --> 00:35:00,000
They didn't want to let me to go to an upper level class or a master's degree class.

302
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000
So she fight for that.

303
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
And I appreciate that from her.

304
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:10,000
So as an exchange student, I was taking four thousand level class and I was taking a master's degree instructional design class.

305
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,000
Wow.

306
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,000
Instructional design.

307
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000
And I was just a college student.

308
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,000
So I appreciate that the people for instructional design that they were already professionals.

309
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000
They were very welcoming.

310
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:25,000
And then the language, the language at the beginning, it was a problem for social conversation.

311
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Everybody say, oh, you're so good.

312
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,000
But for classes, it was a challenge.

313
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:37,000
It's that difference between the basic interpersonal communication skills and then that cognitive academic language.

314
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,000
And I didn't know like common things like, what's up?

315
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
I know.

316
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,000
Hello.

317
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Good morning.

318
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Yeah.

319
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Nice to meet you.

320
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,000
It's the small thing sometimes that that that confuse you more because you're like, what's up?

321
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
What's up?

322
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Yeah.

323
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:59,000
You know, you talk about relationships because my best friend from here from Oklahoma, when I started going out with Ryan, he was like, are you guys boyfriend?

324
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,000
I guess so. Are you sure you're not dating?

325
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000
And I'm like, what the heck is dating?

326
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
What's that?

327
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,000
You know, and then my friend was like, are you exclusive?

328
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,000
No, exclusive.

329
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Oh, my gosh.

330
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
That was a learning curve for me.

331
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Really?

332
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000
That's so interesting.

333
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Because Ryan told me we are dating.

334
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
Ryan knew what it meant.

335
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Yes.

336
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
He said he belongs to a fraternity.

337
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:26,000
So my best friend, Michael, he from Oklahoma, he's like, you know, how are those bright guys?

338
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000
No, I don't know, because there is no fraternities.

339
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000
There is no sororities in my country.

340
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,000
You know, just what you watch in movies.

341
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,000
And I think that's not the best description.

342
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000
Right.

343
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:42,000
So it was it was a learning experience to learn about all those different vocabularies.

344
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Right. Like you have your set of words that you use socially.

345
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,000
You have your other set of words that you use in a classroom.

346
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:55,000
And then the relationship was another one because I have to ask Ryan, am I exclusive or not exclusive?

347
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,000
What did he say?

348
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,000
I'm not exclusive.

349
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000
He's so smart.

350
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:08,000
It was funny to start to ask what part of the reason because, you know, dating is before your boyfriend or girlfriend.

351
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,000
And I was like, my country, your boyfriend or girlfriend, when you start going out, there is no dating.

352
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
Like you're exclusive automatically?

353
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,000
Yeah.

354
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,000
OK.

355
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000
It's like you go out.

356
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000
That means yes.

357
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
That's a sealed deal.

358
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Yes.

359
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Wow.

360
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000
Here you have to define it.

361
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,000
Exactly.

362
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000
And that's what Michael, my friend, was like, you need to ask him.

363
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,000
I'm not going to ask him.

364
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:33,000
So I didn't know how to ask Ryan, like where we are in the process.

365
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,000
So I came on August.

366
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Could you draw a picture?

367
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:41,000
And define it.

368
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,000
And usually tent.

369
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:54,000
So anyway, so I came here in August, very early in August, way before the first week of August to Oklahoma.

370
00:37:54,000 --> 00:38:00,000
I met Ryan was my classmate because I was taking some class in the college education in the College of Education.

371
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
And Ryan is a teacher.

372
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
He's an educator.

373
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:07,000
It's so funny how our lives change because he went to school to be a social studies teacher.

374
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:13,000
So we took a class together, clinician motivation and classroom management.

375
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,000
That was the class.

376
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
And that's how we met.

377
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:22,000
So the beginning, we were just friends and classmates because he was dating somebody else.

378
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,000
And he was fascinated I was from Peru because he's social studies teacher.

379
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
And then we become friends.

380
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:33,000
And when I go sick, he brought me his note for that class.

381
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,000
So I feel so touched.

382
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:42,000
You know, my apartment to bring me notes, you know, because I was I was saying that was so sweet.

383
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,000
And then we started dating in October 2001.

384
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,000
And we got engaged on May of 2002.

385
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Wow.

386
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
You were exclusive.

387
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:58,000
So definitely it was meant to be to be in Oklahoma.

388
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000
There is no other way to describe it.

389
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Now that pasa por casualidad.

390
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:11,000
And I think that now that I see how you know how I learn a lot about surviving, I think that I should be proud of myself.

391
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:19,000
And sometimes, you know, as a human being, we forget that, you know, that all those obstacles that we already came to make us successful.

392
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:25,000
But if I don't, you know, hear myself saying it, I don't give credit for that.

393
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000
You know, I don't give myself credit.

394
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000
And every time, you know, I go back to Peru, everybody's proud of me.

395
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000
You know, like, oh, you know, you're doing so great.

396
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:37,000
You have a family and a husband, 20 years married, you know, because probably some people saw that.

397
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,000
No, they're not going to last that long.

398
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Right. Because we're from different cultures.

399
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,000
We communicate in English.

400
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:55,000
But I feel that it was that commitment that we found and I feel that it was just, I don't know, being crazy because we got married in May 2002 and then we lived together.

401
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,000
So I transferred.

402
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,000
So I finished my first year.

403
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:03,000
You know, I finished my first year of May and then he went to Peru to ask to my parents for marriage.

404
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Yes.

405
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,000
And then.

406
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,000
What did they say?

407
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Like what did they say?

408
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
My mom was very excited.

409
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Let me tell you that.

410
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000
So I'll bear a little parenthesis.

411
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:22,000
So because I was trying to be independent and professional and try to be, you know, I, I never say I'm not going to be a mom, but I say I want my priority was to be professional.

412
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:32,000
So I was just like in some way, I didn't believe that I will find a man in my culture because, you know, they are machistas and you the women depend on them.

413
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
And I didn't want it.

414
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:39,000
My mom taught me that I need to be independent and I need to be, you know, like self-sufficient.

415
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000
So I always have that.

416
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000
No, I will never met anybody here in Peru.

417
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:47,000
And I told my mom many times when I was younger, I'm going to be a single mom.

418
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
That's what I told my mom.

419
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,000
We're many boyfriends.

420
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,000
So not exclusive.

421
00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:02,000
So when my mom heard that and then years later, I'm telling her I met this guy and he's going to come.

422
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,000
That's it.

423
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,000
Fine.

424
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Perfect.

425
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,000
Because my mom's like, you know, she said that she's going to be a single mom.

426
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Now we're looking about maybe being married.

427
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000
My mom was happy.

428
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:17,000
She's just like, I'm so glad you're going to have one husband and not be a single mom.

429
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:22,000
But then I have the crazy idea to leave with Ryan for a year before getting married.

430
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
And my dad was not OK with that.

431
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:28,000
So because he was like, why you told them?

432
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:37,000
I told my mom knew that I would leave with Ryan for a year before getting married that I was not planning to get married right away in May 2002.

433
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,000
It just seems like something that you could kind of brush that aside.

434
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,000
They're in Peru.

435
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,000
They don't know who I'm living with.

436
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,000
My dad was like, he was encouraging.

437
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,000
I'm just thinking that that might be the common approach.

438
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,000
That's true.

439
00:41:55,000 --> 00:42:00,000
So since my dad was always very objective and he asked me, why you're not getting married?

440
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,000
I said, why I need to get married?

441
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:07,000
I don't even know if this is going to work out because we are from different cultures, different countries, moreover.

442
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:11,000
I said, even if I was marrying somebody from Peru, I still would do that.

443
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,000
I would live together first to see how it is.

444
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:20,000
And my dad is like, are you telling me that you're not going to do something different when normally couples do?

445
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,000
And I was like, yes.

446
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,000
And I say, well, if you want to, I could lie to you.

447
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:33,000
I could go back to Oklahoma and I could be the only one answer the phone because I didn't have a cell phone back in that time.

448
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,000
I said, I could be the only one answer the phone and Ryan will be there with me.

449
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,000
But if you want that, we can do that.

450
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:44,000
He didn't say anything because I was just talking to him with the truth.

451
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,000
Yeah, but my dad was right.

452
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,000
Yes, of course.

453
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
We were living like a couple, like a married couple.

454
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,000
It is true what my dad was saying.

455
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,000
But for him, he wanted me to marry.

456
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:00,000
At the same time, you know, everybody loved Ryan and later on, Ryan is bilingual.

457
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,000
Ryan learned Spanish.

458
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,000
He's one of those people who say, hey, I didn't pay attention in high school.

459
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
I didn't learn anything.

460
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000
Como yo.

461
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,000
Como tu.

462
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,000
And then he went to college.

463
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Then he went to college classes at OU while we were living together.

464
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:17,000
So in this way, he can communicate with my mom because my mom doesn't speak English.

465
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:23,000
So anyway, so then I start my classes, my transfer classes, right?

466
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:30,000
And unfortunately, I had to take those thousand level classes because I never took US history.

467
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:34,000
I took every Peruvian, world history.

468
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:38,000
You couldn't like change the translation just a little bit.

469
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,000
This was US history.

470
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,000
US history.

471
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:49,000
And Ryan made me to choose the US history that I didn't have a clue before Civil War.

472
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:54,000
And I was like, because I said, right, right, which one should I choose?

473
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,000
This is the one that I like.

474
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,000
OK, perfect.

475
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:03,000
That was hard because you're in that 100 student class.

476
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,000
The teacher was going fast and you still, you know, the lecture hall.

477
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,000
Yes. And I was still learning English, right?

478
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
I'm putting my my my English.

479
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,000
I was sleeping, you know, getting awake, but still like what?

480
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,000
Like there was no way for me to connect with a prior experience,

481
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:24,000
a prior vocabulary because the West was not the West and the East was not the East.

482
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,000
Yes.

483
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Right?

484
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,000
Back in the time.

485
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
This is the issue that many students experience.

486
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,000
So when Ryan was telling me the West and the East, I was like,

487
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,000
and then he's like, no, Monica, it's not what you think.

488
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
You know, like it's not the West, you know, the West and the East.

489
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,000
No, before America was different, the US was different.

490
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:46,000
So the only thing that I learned back in the time was Independence Day for the US

491
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,000
and the war, that's it.

492
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
I didn't learn more about the US history.

493
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,000
And then the other political science, another big class.

494
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000
And I feel that I was quite a little old, you know,

495
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:02,000
I look a little older than the usual suspects around me.

496
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:08,000
And then political science in I'm glad that I have OK for myself

497
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:12,000
in the sense that every class that I went when I was exchange student and international student,

498
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,000
I went on the first day introduce myself to my professor,

499
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,000
say that I was either exchange student or international students,

500
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:22,000
even if I can borrow their notes because English is not my first language.

501
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,000
I have there were some professors that very nice.

502
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,000
Yes, here they are.

503
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Or there were some professors like, no, I don't have notes, you know, just read the textbook.

504
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,000
And I was telling Ryan, I have to read all these textbooks.

505
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:40,000
It would take me years because English is not my first language.

506
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:44,000
You know, it's so it was I think that that's something that I always tell my students.

507
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,000
You have to have OK for yourself.

508
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000
You have to ask for help.

509
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,000
And I learned that being here, I don't think that I'm in Peru.

510
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
I will probably ask for help.

511
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,000
I will figure it out.

512
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
And, you know, I like to help.

513
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:03,000
But I think that here I learned to ask for help, you know, ask for help to Karen when I was feeling sick.

514
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,000
And now, you know, and I wait too long to tell her I'm sick and I'm missing my classes and I don't want that.

515
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:15,000
I, you know, they with my professors, that's how some of them were especially US history.

516
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:21,000
You know, he will give me some notes. He told me, you know, I type some notes, but then sometimes they go, you know, I go over there.

517
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,000
No, I talk about exactly.

518
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:26,000
So he's like, I don't know how helpful will be there.

519
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,000
Political side was different. He was a hard one.

520
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,000
But, you know, that's OK. I learned it.

521
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:41,000
You know, that was easy. Multiple choice. US history was difficult because it was a booklet and that booklet and those essay questions that were they were hard.

522
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:45,000
That was the hard one. And then my next one that was hard chemistry.

523
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:51,000
Oh, my gosh. Chemistry in English.

524
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:56,000
You're like, you know, not only is there like the language of English, but there's the language of chemistry.

525
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Plus just chemistry.

526
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:05,000
It's hard. It's hard. I think that chemistry is one of those classes that taught me that you need to study every day because in the past, you know, you read it.

527
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:09,000
I feel so smart. I get it. Common sense. This is it.

528
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Chemistry, no.

529
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,000
I'm with you. Yeah.

530
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:17,000
Chemistry is one of those classes that every day I have to study.

531
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,000
No matter what. No matter what.

532
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:24,000
And then I remember for the final, I was like, I don't need to study because I will get a B.

533
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:32,000
That's it. I just want to be done because I say, you know, I have enough credits for being in a master program right now.

534
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:36,000
And I'm taking chemistry, sociology lab.

535
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,000
I know I had friends and I know people now that say like, C's get degrees.

536
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Like, I mean, for those hard classes, they're like, if I can just pass.

537
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Yeah, but at the same time, you have to remember, you know, you kind of work off campus.

538
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:52,000
You have to work on campus. And that was like a five dollar something an hour.

539
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Like a work study? Did you do work study?

540
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,000
No, for my master, I did work study. That was great. I didn't pay much.

541
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:04,000
But for my bachelor's degree, with five dollars an hour, no, you cannot make it.

542
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,000
No. No. My parents helped me, of course, for my bachelor's degree. That only took me two years.

543
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
I had like two or three jobs.

544
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,000
But I have two jobs. I work at the Goddard Health Center.

545
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:18,000
I was one of the student employees that, you know, welcome the patient, take it to the doctor and that's it.

546
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:23,000
And then I was doing catering services for you for all those events, weddings, et cetera.

547
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:27,000
That was another learning experience because remember, I grew up living with my parents,

548
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:32,000
never worked in a restaurant, never worked cleaning or serving somebody.

549
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:38,000
So that was a very, very good experience because sometimes there were parties and my friends will be there,

550
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,000
but I couldn't party because I'm serving them.

551
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,000
So that was a very teachable moment.

552
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,000
And I remember when I told my mom that and my mom was like, that's OK, Iha.

553
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:51,000
One day, you know, the situation will be different because it was kind of embarrassing.

554
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:58,000
You know, like I'm in a uniform and in a corner there and just refilling the water or the tea when everybody's dancing.

555
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,000
And those are your friends. You cannot do that.

556
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,000
And we will be right back.

557
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:09,000
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558
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,000
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559
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:20,000
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560
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:28,000
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561
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:35,000
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562
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:38,000
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563
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:46,000
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564
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:53,000
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565
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,000
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566
00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Contact us now and let's start building a brighter tomorrow together.

567
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,000
And now back to the show.

568
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Wow. So you talked about your studies in psychology.

569
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,000
Yes.

570
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:19,000
I want to learn from you in this. And then I've been thinking about this through other stories, but especially this last story as well.

571
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:25,000
What is that psychological process for you from your point of view?

572
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000
One, having studied in psychology.

573
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:33,000
But then two, you went through a lot of psychological situations in your head, I'm sure.

574
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Yeah.

575
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:47,000
From your whole life experience up until whenever you were serving your friends as they are enjoying themselves and you are being responsible because you have a job on the side that you have to do it so you can make ends meet.

576
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Well, I mean, can you speak to that? I mean, like the psychological situation or experiences?

577
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:56,000
Yes. And I feel that, you know, what is interesting talking about psychology.

578
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,000
Because you're like studying it and going through it.

579
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Exactly. And it is true what you talk about all those phases about being an immigrant, you know, the excitement, you know, being depressed, homesickness and all that.

580
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:12,000
But I think in that moment, I was just surviving. I was trying to make a living.

581
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:17,000
But right now, we were college students and we were living together before getting married.

582
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:29,000
So we both were college students. He graduated first than me. And then, you know, I think that for me was I was trying to make a living and I was trying also to make my parents proud.

583
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:35,000
I didn't want to that be a failure. There was a lot of resilience. That's for sure.

584
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,000
Yeah.

585
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:45,000
That I didn't know. And that's why I'm proud to be an immigrant. And I always tell people that immigrants have a high resilience level and they should be proud of that.

586
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:56,000
I think that part of my personality is that I adjust to environments quickly. I adjust to that. My level of adaptability is quite high because there is no other way that I could explain that.

587
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:08,000
I mean, gosh, I survived. I'm not going to deny that at some point I need help when I was taking college classes from the physician. I didn't know that I have anxiety.

588
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Anxiety was not a thing in my country. You know, mental health in the Hispanic world, it's not popular. It's kind of like a taboo for some people. People don't talk about it.

589
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:28,000
So my mom, I'm pretty sure that besides anxiety, I have attention deficit because I get distracted so quickly. I had to focus really well.

590
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000
And especially in another language.

591
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,000
I resemble that comment.

592
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:41,000
So when I was a college student, because I had my insurance and gutter, I remember the physician saying, you have anxiety.

593
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:54,000
And I'm like, how do you know? He's like, everything that you're telling me. And also, you know, you come from a different country, you're trying to work, you're having a relationship, and at the same time, you're trying to finish your bachelor's degree.

594
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:59,000
And she exposed me for the first time to medication for anxiety.

595
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:08,000
I don't even remember medication, so I thought, LeBron. And it helped me, but in my head, I was like, nah, I'm stressed. This is it.

596
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:14,000
Because I was like, in my head, it was like, I don't want to be dependent on medication. This misconception that you have.

597
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:18,000
You know, I don't want to be dependent to that medication.

598
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:29,000
It helped me and anxiety also played a role later on when I become a mom, because I stopped taking the medication, because my mom also said, no, you don't want to be dependent.

599
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:35,000
You know, probably you're stressed. But also, I have the pressure, you know, first to not fail my parents.

600
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:40,000
I don't even think about failing myself. You know, that's crazy. But I feel about not failing my parents.

601
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:49,000
And also, I have a heavy weight on my shoulders because my dad helped me to pay tuition. Everything else has to be paid by me, my apartment, my food, and all that.

602
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:54,000
But my dad helped me just to pay tuition. So I was trying to work as much as I can.

603
00:53:54,000 --> 00:54:00,000
So there was not a moment for me to just be sick or not being able to work, you know.

604
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:11,000
And Ryan was going through the same because when he decided to, you know, live with me, his parents were like, OK, you're not anymore with us. We're not giving you any more gas money.

605
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:21,000
Because you're living with Monica. You know, you're not anymore in the fraternity house. No gas money. No paying for yourself or nada. You are on your own.

606
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:25,000
So for both of us, it was rough. I don't know how we made it.

607
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:35,000
I think you bring up a good point, though, is that, you know, oftentimes, I mean, I, you know, we have different experiences, but sometimes the trials and tribulations overlap a little bit.

608
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:46,000
But it is so true that sometimes I would not think about myself and I would just be so worried about making other people sad, making other people feel like I didn't succeed like I was supposed to.

609
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:56,000
And I wasn't so focused on kind of like my own thoughts and my own feelings. But at the same time, though, you're just trying to, you know, survive. And so you so you don't even think about it until you get through it.

610
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:04,000
You look back. You're like, how did I do all that? How did I? But then we also know that we have students that are experiencing this every single day.

611
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:07,000
And that's something that I tell my students all the time. Yeah. Tell me about that.

612
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:17,000
I tell it to you if I don't want if you don't mind interrupt the transition from kind of where the jobs you work working into education and then into working with the students.

613
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:26,000
How did how did you get how that happened? Well, easily, you know, when you are an international student, you have your visa while you're studying.

614
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:40,000
So I married Ryan in 2003 and then I was like, oh, you know, I have my international visa for being a student here. And I was like already graduated in 2004 and we were already married.

615
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:51,000
And by that time I didn't have my green card yet. And I was like, well, either I am undocumented here or I continue using my visa and get my master's degree.

616
00:55:51,000 --> 00:56:01,000
In that moment, I didn't know what I want because, you know, here in the University of Oklahoma, psychology is a general psychology is very behavioral, very research oriented.

617
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:08,000
There was nothing like educational psychology. It was in the College of Education as a master program.

618
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:16,000
So I was like, oh, my gosh, you know, like, probably I won't qualify for that because my credit comes from the College of Arts and Science as a psychology degree.

619
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:24,000
I'm pretty sure if I want to take my master and the College of Education, I don't have the credit for that because I have a psychology different than Ryan.

620
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:30,000
He have an education degree. I have a psychology degree from the College of Arts and Science.

621
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:34,000
So in that moment, I said, OK, I cannot do maybe, you know, educational psychology. I will do.

622
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:42,000
I remember going to the newspaper and said I will master in human relations. Yeah, just like that.

623
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:47,000
Yeah, I think that one. And it said that you can also get your license to, you know, to be a therapist.

624
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,000
So say, OK, at some point I want to be a therapist. That's it. This is it.

625
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:55,000
So that's how because I have to make a decision quickly. I didn't want to be undocumented.

626
00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:02,000
I didn't want to not being able to work or study. And always the study has been my passion, always learning something, having my passion.

627
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:06,000
So that's how I become a study master in human relations.

628
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Well, all my classmates, they were, you know, doing the master in weekends and at night I was doing that, too. I was working as well with my professor.

629
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:19,000
But they were having their own full time jobs. Different story than mine. So I never was exposed to a job per se.

630
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:26,000
I helped with the food, some programs translating for focus group with the FDA.

631
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:32,000
I helped that anything on campus, either all you normally or UHSC. That's how I help with the FDA.

632
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:40,000
They were very nice to pay me my taxi back in the time because I didn't have a car because they need a translator for all those focus group.

633
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:46,000
And they were very nice to give me that job to be, you know, so because it was about food insecurity.

634
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:52,000
I still remember that and the calendar I have to translate with, you know, nutritional facts and food recipes.

635
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:59,000
I still remember that job that I had at the time. But then, you know, when you when I graduate, I didn't have a work experience.

636
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:03,000
And everybody that wants to hire you is work experience.

637
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:09,000
It's the S. So at some point, I was a tutor, a Spanish tutor when I was in college.

638
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:18,000
And then that helped me a lot to get my first job that was a full time teacher because I went to Santa Fe.

639
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:23,000
Ryan was already working in Santa Fe South as a social studies. By the way, we don't have the same last name.

640
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:29,000
So when I apply, they never knew that I was Ryan's wife because we don't have the same last name.

641
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:35,000
I refuse to change my last name. I was like, keeping my heritage and keeping my mom and dad.

642
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:42,000
It's very important. I was like, I'm keeping that my two last names because I don't know who is Monica Sears.

643
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:48,000
That's my last name. Ryan Sears. I was like, who's Monica Sears? So I will be Monica Suyo Mateo.

644
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:56,000
I was lazy to change all my paperwork. Social Security, security, David Carr, your transcript.

645
00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Everything has to change. It's a very difficult process.

646
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:08,000
Yes, especially because you get the high. Yes. The high rate of last. It's a lot.

647
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:17,000
It's a lot. So anyway, to answer your question, I was just to say that I was willing to do anything, but I need to be employed.

648
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:27,000
We were already married. There is no way that I'm going to be with Ryan's teaching salary, leaving the two of us.

649
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:35,000
Because I was like the first year teacher, it's not they don't pay grade. And I was like, and I don't see myself not working.

650
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:43,000
So I have to contribute and all that. So Santa Fe South gave me the first opportunity with Chris Brewster.

651
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:47,000
He gave me the first opportunity to be a Spanish high school teacher.

652
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:55,000
He gave me the first opportunity. He was impressed with my lesson plan because as a tutor, I have lesson plans.

653
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,000
Call me crazy, but I was overprepared.

654
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Every time that a college student came, I asked him, you want to pass the test or you want to learn Spanish because you really want to learn?

655
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:14,000
And he said, no, I just want to pass the test. So I just teach them to pass the test. Imperfect versus predicate.

656
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:20,000
You know, ser versus estar. Like I teach them just to pass it because I say I have the textbooks that they had it.

657
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:24,000
I will go and buy them. So I will prepare them for the test.

658
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:28,000
And then sometimes they give me tests. So I will make copies. I will keep them for me.

659
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:32,000
I have my binder still now, you know, about those topics that I teach. But I always ask that question.

660
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:38,000
Do you want to learn Spanish, you know, because you are interest curious or you just want to pass the test?

661
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:43,000
And many of them, I just want to pass the test. So that's how, you know, Mr. Brewster was surprised.

662
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:47,000
As a tutor that I just have lesson plans ready. And he said, you are hired.

663
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:53,000
And let me tell you, another cultural crash is that the educational system is totally different in Peru.

664
01:00:53,000 --> 01:01:03,000
Way different. And I'm not going to forget that I was like, what? I need to clean my classroom. I need to set up my classroom.

665
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:11,000
I need to buy the own stuff from my class. I was like in total shock because I never...

666
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:18,000
We're still in shock. Exactly. I was like, I remember my teachers, they dress always so professional.

667
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:25,000
I have my English teachers. The English department was always so much fun because the English department is who exposed me to Christmas carols.

668
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:33,000
That's why Ryan is so impressed that I know Christmas carols, that I know about Halloween, that I want Michael Jackson, you know, like Ryan is like, how?

669
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:42,000
Thriller. Yes. How do you know about all that? That's how we connect, you know, like sharing our stories and say, yeah, Ryan, we have Christmas carols competition

670
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:50,000
because the English department always come up with this fun stuff, different than my other regular teachers because they did fun stuff.

671
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:57,000
So the English department for me was awesome, you know, because that's how I know a lot about the American culture.

672
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:05,000
So anyway, so but I never seen my teachers spending their own money, you know, decorating the classroom, whatever the classroom was decorated by us,

673
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:12,000
like our projects were on the walls and then we will be always in the same classroom and teachers will come and go.

674
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:19,000
So that classroom never belonged to a teacher. It belonged to the student. That's kind of the same from my experience in Mexico City.

675
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:29,000
Yes. The teacher travels around to different schools even. Exactly. And here I was my first year teaching and I was in a portable classroom outside of the main building.

676
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:40,000
And I was teaching ninth grade. OK. And this was the first time that those nights that I were coming from every public school, not just from Santa Fe South Middle School.

677
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:47,000
It was rough. Yes, it was. How many students do you have approximately? Do you remember in your class?

678
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:54,000
I don't remember having the students from freshman freshman were my majority, but I even have seniors. Probably I have what? 30, 35.

679
01:02:54,000 --> 01:03:02,000
I it's I learn a lot about the Spanish community. How totally different was what like where I come from? Yeah. Totally different.

680
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:07,000
And people think that it's all the same at Santa Fe South. I assume you had a lot of Spanish speaking students.

681
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:11,000
Yeah, 90 percent. Yeah. They're Hispanic. And it's totally different.

682
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:18,000
You know, you have parents that when maybe up to elementary grade level, you have parents.

683
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:25,000
Nowadays, probably change the population. But back in the time, it was elementary, middle school, high school or nada.

684
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:30,000
There was not college, you know, in that first. That's what you learn.

685
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:39,000
Then you learn that all of them speak Spanish, but they don't know how to write or read in Spanish or they don't know how to communicate appropriately or they would change the word.

686
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:45,000
Back in the time, it's Spanish was not OK. Nowadays, we know that there's a reason for it's Spanish.

687
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:50,000
Nowadays, we know there is a reason for saying troca back in the time.

688
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:53,000
The practices of, you know, translating with, you know, trans language.

689
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:59,000
Exactly. So I have to probably say sorry to my students back in the time that, you know, I do.

690
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:05,000
I'm sorry if I correct you, if I tell you that troca is incorrect or parqueadero is incorrect.

691
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:09,000
But, you know, we grow to. We grow. Exactly.

692
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:16,000
Because the other day I saw my students coming to Crystal Ray to dance for Virgen de la Guadeloupe and they were both of them are siblings.

693
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
And I talked to both of them and I remember.

694
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:22,000
So, yeah, no, what is this troca?

695
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:26,000
And I'm like, sorry, guys, nowadays, it's OK.

696
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Because you learn. Right. Exactly. Back in the time, you couldn't.

697
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:36,000
You couldn't. You will correct them. You know, they will tell you, tell you my mom and my dad say like this.

698
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:39,000
Yes. And then you I will be like, yes, that's OK.

699
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:46,000
It's OK that you use that. But professionally or formally is like this, you know, and they will go how it sounds.

700
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:51,000
For certain start, they didn't care, you know, when to use certain start, they care about how it sounds.

701
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:56,000
But I will tell them what happened one day. You are in a sentence that you don't even know what it means.

702
01:04:56,000 --> 01:05:00,000
Words that you don't know what it means. You have to follow the rules.

703
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:06,000
But then you learn and you read and you research and you understand like linguistically how that's developed.

704
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:14,000
Then you learn. Right. Because remember, like when you're asking me, like how you end in education, because education is a college totally different.

705
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:20,000
You know, you're learning about learning styles, learning disabilities, because I took a special education class.

706
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:24,000
You learn all the aspects. You're learning about teaching. Right.

707
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:30,000
So I always say that I end in education by default or it was a call.

708
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:35,000
I don't know how to say it, but it's my passion. Education became my passion.

709
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:52,000
And for many years, teaching Spanish one, two or three or even teaching an elective like current events or women's studies have helped me so much professionally and personally that the education is me.

710
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:59,000
I don't say, oh, no, you know, education is something outside or it was a mode de vivir or a way of living.

711
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:08,000
No, at the end, it taught me that education is part of me without me knowing, without me thinking I'm going to apply for being a teacher.

712
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:13,000
I think you and I share that because, you know, you were doing human relations and psychology.

713
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:16,000
I was doing Spanish and dance and I never wanted to do education.

714
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:20,000
And I was like, you know, gracias, pero no gracias. You know, like I was like yesterday.

715
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:27,000
Yeah, that is, you know, life has been, you know, start with me like every time that I was like, no, I'm getting out of education.

716
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:29,000
And I come back. But I don't know.

717
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:32,000
And then I got out of education because after my first year, I told Mr.

718
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:36,000
I'm like, no, I cannot do this. I'm sorry. But I like, but you're a great teacher.

719
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:42,000
And I told him, nobody came to visit my class. Nobody asked me for lesson plans.

720
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:50,000
Nobody came to do an observation. Nobody told me if I was doing a good job or a bad job. How will know that I was a great teacher?

721
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:54,000
And then everyone's like, yeah, but you never have behavioral problems. But that's not the point.

722
01:06:54,000 --> 01:07:02,000
Right. I say because for me, behavioral problems are based on your classroom management and your structure and relationship.

723
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:09,000
So that's what I say. I already knew those things without putting specific labels when you go to a college of education.

724
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:14,000
And I always teach this to my husband. My husband says because you are by nature, you're an educator.

725
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:18,000
Yeah, it's natural. It's natural. Yeah. So that's why I left.

726
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:24,000
And I went to nonprofit thinking that master human relations, I can be in a nonprofit. No, I was wrong.

727
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,000
It is true. I went to a nonprofit with the Girl Scouts.

728
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,000
I helped a lot with the in school program because I was a teacher.

729
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:35,000
I was very relatable with those middle school girls from Oklahoma City Public Schools. I love that too.

730
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:41,000
I still friends with those teachers. Wow. Until now with Terry Turner, you know, from OKCPS.

731
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:48,000
And yes, you know, wherever I go, always somebody teach me how to be better professionally and personally.

732
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:55,000
And I still have connections and relationship with them. You know, and like I said, every time that I want to leave, then I come back.

733
01:07:55,000 --> 01:08:02,000
So what about now? So now at Cristo Rey and you had invited me, I was able to go take a tour of the school.

734
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:11,000
And it was amazing. And so this to to kind of, you know, bring it all the way around from the beginning, your experiences to where you are now.

735
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:17,000
You are working directly with students and with families and with a community that is mostly Spanish.

736
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:21,000
Eighty four percent, eighty four percent African-American. Yes.

737
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,000
OK, so the majority. But again, it's a diverse population.

738
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:29,000
But you have a very special connection with the Hispanic and Latin community as well.

739
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:33,000
Yes, you know, and that's the community that I want to serve. Yeah. I'm going to deny that.

740
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,000
I was in LeMond, as both of you know. Yes.

741
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:43,000
And LeMond have given me the opportunity that nobody will give me, you know, to be an administration without me going to school for being an administrator.

742
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:50,000
So I'm not going to lie, LeMond was not a job that I would consider because it's totally different environment.

743
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:57,000
Norman Elementary, I was middle school or high school teacher for many years. What I'm doing in elementary.

744
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:06,000
But when Lance proposed me the idea of helping teachers that come from around the world to use UBD,

745
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:12,000
understanding by design or a different grade system than anywhere in the world, we do different.

746
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:19,000
Let me tell you, we don't do ABCD. That one, we don't do it. It's true. It is.

747
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:26,000
When I was in Santa Fe South, I was teaching to the parents how to calculate GPA because you infer that everybody knows what is a GPA.

748
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:35,000
No, it's not true. So Lance wants that I do that, that I help teachers to train and to write a lesson plan.

749
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:40,000
And since I was bilingual, he wants that I help teachers from around the world on that.

750
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:48,000
And so I honestly have to think a lot to go to LeMond because it was not in my heart, because it's totally different.

751
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:53,000
It was not like me serving Hispanic, the Hispanic population or me being in the classroom.

752
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:59,000
It was a different thing. And also, I didn't like administration when I was a teacher.

753
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,000
So you're like, I don't want to do that.

754
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,000
Right? Tell me that a teacher loves administration.

755
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:10,000
Well, I don't know. I worked with some really amazing teachers. We all loved each other.

756
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:13,000
No, the teachers love administration.

757
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,000
But then I was the same.

758
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:18,000
If Kelly is the administrator, they love administrators.

759
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,000
If there's any other teacher out there, I made some cry.

760
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,000
To be honest, there's a few ministers that you love.

761
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:24,000
I didn't mean to.

762
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:27,000
But when you're on the other side as a teacher, you're always complaining.

763
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:28,000
They're the enemy.

764
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,000
About something. So let me tell you.

765
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,000
But then you learn.

766
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:38,000
For two years, almost two years, when I went to these professional developments as administrator, I'd never say an administrator.

767
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:42,000
I would say I'm part of the administration team.

768
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:50,000
Because there were some times that I see my ex-co-workers from Santa Fe South and they were like, what are you here?

769
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,000
I am part of the administration team.

770
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,000
You're getting judged.

771
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:57,000
But it's not me that's making the bad decisions.

772
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:03,000
And then I remember one of them is my favorite teacher because she was moving out of that portable classroom.

773
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,000
She was a PE teacher.

774
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,000
We had a tough encounter.

775
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:13,000
But then we became really good friends because I remember that they were telling her that now PE doesn't have a classroom.

776
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:16,000
And move all your stuff behind the auditorium.

777
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,000
So I didn't know that.

778
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:21,000
I was just moving in as a first teacher and then she's like, this is my soap.

779
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,000
This is my chalk.

780
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,000
And I was like, okay.

781
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:28,000
And then we become very, I remember that.

782
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:29,000
She's like, do you remember until now?

783
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:33,000
Yeah, Angela, I remember until now that you told me that that's your soap.

784
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:34,000
It's very picky.

785
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:35,000
Okay.

786
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,000
But she was, you know, you don't know those stories.

787
01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:44,000
I didn't know that they were, you know, moving all her equipment, everything behind the auditorium.

788
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:45,000
And she didn't have a classroom.

789
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,000
You don't realize that, right?

790
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:50,000
I mean, it's so crazy that you would never assume that would be the case.

791
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:51,000
And then she made fun of me in that PD.

792
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:54,000
So your administration, I'm part of the administration team.

793
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,000
I'm not an administrator.

794
01:11:56,000 --> 01:12:00,000
And she's like, so what are you learning now?

795
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:04,000
I'm learning that I should pay attention to the professional development.

796
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:11,000
That when you are a teacher and sometimes you don't pay attention to the professional development, then you realize that those are helpful.

797
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:17,000
You being part of the administration team, though, you were helping serve the Hispanic in that next community and beyond.

798
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,000
It was a Spanish and French program.

799
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:32,000
But because you were able to help those teachers, they were able to pour that into students, students that may or may not be exposed to another language like me, who's able to go out and just be able to,

800
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:45,000
like I said yesterday, more or less how it will be adopted. Sometimes you get lucky enough to be adopted into a community, too. And so it's so nice that you were still pouring into the teachers that poured into the students that you were still impacting the community at large.

801
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,000
And in your current role, you're doing that.

802
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:52,000
And I know that Cristo Rey is incredibly successful for many ways.

803
01:12:52,000 --> 01:13:04,000
But whether it be Cristo Rey or any other school, there has to be a component of culture that's happening in the school, school culture, but versus the cultures of the students that are represented in your school.

804
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:14,000
And I think that a lot of our listeners could benefit from hearing about the role that that plays and how you bring that to life in your role, but also as a school overall.

805
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:19,000
Well, first, I have to say being bilingual is incredible, beautiful, but challenging.

806
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:27,000
So if you are surrounded by bilingual students or families, you have to be very humble and willing to learn from them.

807
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:36,000
That's the first thing that I will say. You have to be willing to learn the difference that are inside of the same culture. The same thing happens with the Asian culture. I have learned a lot about them.

808
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:42,000
Sometimes we just put them in a little box and it's not true. It's the same diversity that have the Hispanic culture.

809
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:50,000
And I feel that that's something that we need to when we are serving and I use the word serving because I feel that we are the circle.

810
01:13:50,000 --> 01:14:00,000
You are serving these families, practice humility, you know, be open to learn from them and don't think like what we talked yesterday that you know everything because you don't know nothing.

811
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:11,000
You don't know. You don't. So, but then if we're talking about education, then when you're talking with the parents, you have to be flexible that America's system is not the best.

812
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:16,000
Let's be humble about it. You know, and then learn about all the educational system.

813
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:27,000
Exactly. And I'm sorry to say this, but especially Oklahoma. Yeah, we failed the students in many ways. You know, not only in mental health, but just on the basic on academics.

814
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:37,000
So, you know, the state test is another thing. And even more so considering the very multicultural populations that we do serve. Exactly. And language, you know, we also have to serve them.

815
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:43,000
And in this belief that their schools districts that don't have things available in another language besides English.

816
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:51,000
Well, Le Monde was even like that idea was born out of the public school system closing a bilingual school. Correct.

817
01:14:51,000 --> 01:15:05,000
A French, yes. Yes. The French program. You are right. So I feel that culture also is important because even though I didn't want to, I was not sure about going to Le Monde and being an administrator, I feel that I learned a lot from them.

818
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:14,000
Because one, I learned at age level that is totally different than the age level that I taught before. So my respect to elementary teachers.

819
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:23,000
Because when you are in middle school and high school, you can tell them great about something. Bell work. I don't know. Give me a paragraph about your perfect vacation.

820
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:33,000
What you're trying to get ready for the next activity. If you're not prepared, let's put it like that. With elementary kids, no, you can't do that. You have to be very creative.

821
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:47,000
You have to lose a lot of art, music for learning the language. You have to keep those students entertained. Entertainment is different because I always say that as teachers we're entertainers because we compete with all the technology.

822
01:15:47,000 --> 01:16:01,000
But with elementary is a different level. You know, all those callbacks that in America we use it and in other countries we don't use it because the culture is different. In another country, you arrive, you know, you sit down and you wait until the teacher comes.

823
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:05,000
Somebody comes, you stand up, then you sit down and you listen to the teacher. Here's not like that.

824
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Because they're like already in the classroom seated sometimes before you even get there as a teacher.

825
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:20,000
So you have to learn that. And that's why I was telling Lance, you know, we have teachers from Africa that they are used to something different. So you have to learn first how it is for them.

826
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:27,000
And then you have to tell me how it's here in the US and then how is the Oklahoma and interpret the from the Oklahoma standards.

827
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:36,000
Yes, and that's what was my job. And that's just for the teachers. That's what they're considering the students. And then you have to talk to them about differentiated instruction.

828
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:46,000
And then you have to tell them what is an IEP, what they don't know or a 504 because that's not happening in our countries or an English language acquisition plan. Exactly.

829
01:16:46,000 --> 01:17:01,000
No, you're right. You're right. So I always tell them. I was telling Lance, you have to understand first the teachers, where they are coming from, what is beautiful that they were like speaking the language that you're trying to teach French or Spanish.

830
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:07,000
But then you have to have a lot of patience, flexibility and train them.

831
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:25,000
So my job at the beginning that was beautiful because I learned a lot from those teachers from the different cultures, from the different part of the world's education, how I teach them because basically I was teaching them, you know, lesson plans, Oklahoma standards, you know, like the grade level system that it was different because it was not ABCDF.

832
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:33,000
I remember that Lance like what it was, I forgot, the one, two, three, four. Yeah. You know, like you for the to show mastery. Exactly. Yes.

833
01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:46,000
So that's a different level, that's different, that's different language for the teachers because the teachers were either numeric and then translate to a letter or what is one, two, three, four.

834
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:57,000
So I was like telling Lance, Lance, you're just taking them to a different level. It's just so important though to be able to like pause, reflect. Yes. No, the teachers that are in your building. Yes. How you can work with them and the students.

835
01:17:57,000 --> 01:18:15,000
But again, it's understanding them, individual teacher, individual student understanding. Yes. And also on those experiences. Yes. And that's the academic portion, but you cannot dismiss the culture portion. Exactly. And that was something that we did in LeMonde and I know they're still doing it very good.

836
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:28,000
Like for example, it's mastery that they, everybody, every kid knows like I speak like this in my Puerto Rican teacher, but it's also okay to say like this when I go with my teacher from Mexico and it's okay to say like that in my teacher from Venezuela.

837
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:37,000
So they know that. So the cultural aspect in LeMonde is brilliant. That works brilliant. It's just academic portion that we work a lot with the teachers.

838
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:51,000
And then I learned a lot from them from the culture from destruction, from the relationships, from the classroom management, I was never exposed to that age level, but I was those administrators that Lance tell me we need you in the cafeteria, I'll be serving lunch.

839
01:18:51,000 --> 01:19:00,000
We need you to clean this, I'll be there. I keep having an accident. Lance is like, Monica, I cannot handle this. Okay, I will handle that. Any type of accidents, okay. Either.

840
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:03,000
Yeah, you did it all. I did it all. I did it all.

841
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:18,000
Monica, honestly, like you're such an amazing servant leader. You're a great example of that. I've been fortunate enough to experience that with you and doing professional development at LeMonde sometimes and even just through our friendship.

842
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:40,000
Is there anything though that for the listeners as we wrap this up that you want to share with them of like the one thing that you think would be the most benefit from your experiences that they could take into their districts, their classrooms, or any place of work, even if it's not an education, just to help them remember about the importance of culture.

843
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:49,000
And also that their stories tell that their stories do matter. It is true. I feel that what is important is that whatever you do, we do with passion. Whatever you do.

844
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:59,000
And especially in education. I always tell every new teacher that wants to come to a charter school, you know, they tell me I come from the public and this and that and I was like, you just need to be flexible.

845
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,000
Yeah. You need to be flexible.

846
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:07,000
Right? Oh, yeah. I say one day, the pipes broke, or another day.

847
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:11,000
Oh, another day.

848
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:18,000
I laugh so hard because it's so true. It's like every day it's like, can't we just do school without a pipe breaking.

849
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:27,000
Because the weather in Oklahoma is unpredictable. Yes, also. Yes. So you need to remember that if you're in education or whatever you do, you do with passion.

850
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:38,000
You have to be flexible. You have to be creative. So that's my respect to you, Mike, for being a problem solver. But that's what we are in education. A problem solver.

851
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:48,000
And then don't forget about connectedness. We need to connect our students with different people or resources. And the same is with anybody that you encounter.

852
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:57,000
They will learn their stories and then you are able to help help. And then you are able to connect that person with somebody else like you did with Dr.

853
01:20:57,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Taylor with edu skills. You do the same with everybody else. And that's something that I live by. My mom always tell me help others, treat with respect, you know, continue learning and continue learning.

854
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:20,000
Even in the most difficult year of COVID, I studied for life coach and I finished my life coach classes because I was like, you know what, I want to do something else.

855
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:27,000
You know, I know I enjoy being in LeMond. There was different challenge. COVID year was the year that taught me so many things professionally and personally.

856
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:35,000
But at the same time, I didn't want to stop learning. And I think that's something that people need to know that whatever area or field you are, you never stop learning.

857
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:46,000
And you need to learn from others and you need to correct your mistakes. And like in our case in the past, Spanglish was wrong. Now Spanglish is right. And respect everybody's differences.

858
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:54,000
Even in Oklahoma, there is differences. People just forget that. We are not equal. We are different. We have different lifestyles and different learning process.

859
01:21:54,000 --> 01:22:05,000
Our number one rule in that very first amazing newcomer class was respect. That's the highest expectation. If we can just respect each other, everything else kind of falls into place.

860
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:16,000
Well, oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Thank you for ending this with like la pasión. I know that even in my passion too. I just thank you so much. I'm glad that you were here.

861
01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:28,000
And thanks for sharing everything with us today. We didn't allow Dr. Taylor to talk. I'm so sorry. This is for you. This is not for me. Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias.

862
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:36,000
I really believe that many of the listeners out there are going to learn a whole lot from you. And I just I know that I always have. I appreciate it so much. My pleasure.

863
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:47,000
Thank you for having me here. And I hope that anyone that is listening to my story, I hope that I either share something meaningful with them, I inspire them, or just, you know, we maybe share the same difficulties.

864
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:54,000
And sometimes, like I said, we don't give credit to ourselves. And I think it's important, you know, I pat it back and say we did it.

865
01:22:54,000 --> 01:23:06,000
Well, muchas gracias. No de nada. Thank you, Monica, for everything. Thank you also to our co-host Dr. Taylor Tribble and as always to our amazing producer, Mr. Mike Overholt.

866
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:15,000
Monica, gracias. Te quiero muchísimo. Eres fenomenal. I will try my best. Thank you so much. Adios.

867
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:24,000
Thank you for joining us today. Don't forget to like, follow and subscribe. Adios.

868
01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:47,000
Thank you.