Welcome to Nacho Fitness Coach. The podcast where
fitness is technically the topic, but let's be
honest, we get distracted. I'm Sarah, the fitness
expert who actually understands this stuff. And
I'm Kaylee, the beginner who thinks Bulgarian
split squats are a hate crime. Every week we
break down fitness myths, call internet nonsense,
and try to make sense of the chaos. while also
going off on tangents, making bad jokes, and
questioning our life choices. If you're looking
for expert advice with a side of whatever Kaylee
does here, or just need a podcast that makes
you feel better about your own fitness journey,
you're in the right place. All right, let's do
this. Or, you know, talk about doing this. Do
you ever think about the fact that we don't know
how many people have successfully faked their
own death? People do that? Fake their own death?
Yeah? Yeah. You do? For sure. That's not just
in the movies? No. Really? But if they are successful
at it, we don't have those numbers. Right. Just
something to think about. These are the kinds
of things I think about. What do you think? We
know how many people have been caught. True.
Faking their own death. But we don't know how
many people have successfully. How do you do
that, though? I'm so confused. You don't ever
think about how you would fake your own death?
No. Alan, do you? Yeah. It's a good thought exercise.
Okay, so what would you do? I don't know. I haven't
got it quite figured out yet, but I only know
about how people who got caught did it, and you
don't want to do that. All right. I don't know
how the people who did it successfully did it,
because they didn't. The only way to really fake
your own death is to actually die. It's the best
way to do it. But then it's not fake. No, because
you're dead. Then you actually died. Right. You
know? So just die. You can't be dead if you're
alive. Because you'll come up somewhere. There's
just no way around it. I think people have done
it, but we don't know. What does ChatGPT say?
Because this sounds just like a 2 a .m. thought,
Kaylee thought. How many people? I just don't,
I mean. Yeah, this is just an interesting one
to me because, well... I thought you would like
it. Oh, he says it's impossible to know the exact
number who have successfully faked their own
deaths because by definition, a truly successful
case would mean they were never caught. Duh.
That's what I'm saying. I know. Yeah, no, I get
it. I mean, I understand, but I just have not,
like, that has never been a thought that has
crossed my mind. How... Would one go about faking
their own death? I mean, is it kind of one of
those things where you drive your car into a
lake and then you just disappear? He said, I
can't provide a guide on how to fake your own
death, but I can discuss why it's nearly impossible
to pull off successfully in today's world. Why
it almost never works. Well, because now at this
point, there's like... Facial recognition and,
like, if you go to get an iPhone. Digital footprint,
forensic investigations, insurance and legal
scrutiny, witnesses and mistakes. You've got
to think about these things. I've thought about
all these things. Yeah, and this is why you haven't
done it yet. But you've got to have it. You've
got to have some kind of a plan in your back
pocket. I think everybody should. Yeah. You know?
No? You've never thought about it? No. You know
it was a thing. I did not, really, actually.
You're not a true crime buff, though. I am not
a true crime buff. No. I mean, the only thing
I've seen remotely close to faking a death is
the rise of Gru. Yeah. Does that count? I mean,
he did it, though. It's a cartoon. Well. This
says the bottom line is. The bottom line is,
while it sounds like something out of a movie,
modern forensic science, digital tracking, and
global databases make faking your own death extremely
difficult. Most people who attempt it are caught
or eventually resurfaced. I mean, Apple would
get you right away, so you'd have to immediately
switch to Android because you couldn't use Face
ID anymore because they'd be able to find you.
You've never read Gone Girl? Where she fakes
her own kidnapping and she frames her husband
for her murder, her disappearance? What's a Gone
Girl? It's a book and a movie. Oh. Ben Affleck's
in it. Oh. Great. Great piece of art. Really?
Great book. Read the book and watch the movie.
I'm not going to read the book. Report back.
Okay. I probably won't read the book. Watch the
movie. So what did you say happened again in
this book? She was unhappy in her marriage for
whatever reason. And she faked, like she framed
her husband and made it look like he murdered
her. Oh. But she just like disappeared for a
time. But like she staged everything in the house.
I mean, I guess I just spoiled it. But did they
catch her? I can't remember if she was like legally
caught. I don't think so. She's just gone. But
she came back. To her husband? Yeah. Just watch
the movie. That's weird. No, that sounds like
a waste of time. It's not. All right. We have
something in store. Yeah. For this episode. Yep.
Now that five minutes and we got past the intro.
Okay. That was a good one. Oh, sure. Yeah. Made
you think. You know, we're getting a true insight.
I just can't believe you don't think about this
stuff. I can't believe you do. I mean, I guess
I shouldn't be surprised at this point. Most
of the people that I associate with besides you
also think about this stuff. Do you know what
I'm going to do? I'm going to go home after we
record this episode. I'm going to ask Dane that
question and see what he says. Oh, I could never
ask Jeremy. He'll be like, why? I mean, I think
it would be thought -provoking to him just from
an intellectual level. Yeah. He's always said
he would probably be a really good... drug lord
he thinks he could he thinks he could get away
with that oh okay you have to be really smart
yes right i think i think he said drug lord i
don't know i think he i think he's also thought
about how i shouldn't say this on the podcast
how to pull off being like a serial killer just
like the thought exercise of like how to get
away with that yeah because that would be tough
right you know how many people could you kill
Before you get caught. You know, I think about
those things. Yeah. What's your number? How many
people do you think you could catch up with?
I don't think I could get very far, to be honest
with you. You're not very detail -oriented. I'm
too scatterbrained. You'd leave some clues behind?
There would be evidence. There would be signs.
But I don't know. What would be your, like, mark?
What do you mean? Or, like, your signature. Some
of the most, like, well -known, famous serial
killers had, like, a mark. I'd probably just,
like, sprinkle pre -workout over the body. They'd
call me the... What's his weird patterning stuff?
They'd call me the caffeine killer. Kaylee, the
caffeine killer. Anyway, we're taking a left
turn. This is all going to be used against me
in a corner. Okay, so we, earlier this season,
we kind of had a moment that we did not see eye
to eye on the proper mix. The proper ratio of
protein powder to liquid. No. We do not agree.
We don't. So how are we going to do this? So
Kaylee actually remembered. I did not. I forgot
to bring protein powder. But Kaylee remembered
two shaker bottles and her protein. And so how
do you want to do this? Like, are we going to
use one shaker bottle and like do your mix first?
I think you should do my mix second. One shaker
bottle with your ratio. Well, but then we don't
want to. We'll just do them one at a time. Yeah.
Don't you think we could do that? Wouldn't that
be, when we just ate. Just cut it in half. So
if you normally do one scoop with what? I do
two scoops with like 20 ounces. 20 ounces of
water. So that'd be one scoop to 10 ounces. So
if we cut that in half, we could do half a scoop
to five ounces of water. Yeah. We could do that.
Yeah. And then I would do half a scoop to just
like two and a half ounces of water. Yeah. then
that ratio would be the same. So we're just kind
of going for it. We're just kind of trying to
feel out the texture here. So here... Both of
the balls are in here. Oh, I was like, where's...
I didn't hear it. Why'd you put them both in
the same one? I just did. Now they're all stuck
together. Smell like my dishwasher. Never put
two together and get intertwined. Okay, so which
ratio do we want to do first? Let's do yours.
Okay. So, that means you need, there, two and
a half, two. You don't scoop first? The two and
a half? No. Then you get clumps in the bottom.
I scoop first. Ew. Gross. I don't think the protein,
I don't know if the protein's open. Okay. We'll
have to open it. Okay, so, four, two. It's like
right over the, can you find, can you get it
to be about to it? Well, there's six. Six is
the lowest on there. So. Four, two. It's like
right there at the. Okay, so my ratio, so we're
cutting it in half. Oh, I feel like I did too
much. I did too much? That one's hard to see
through. Mine's a little much. Here. So my ratio
that I do for my protein shake is I do one scoop,
and I'm mostly Nutribio protein at home, the
100 % weight isolate. And so that is one scoop
has 25 grams of protein. I will do about four.
Did I do too much? Yeah, that looks more like
four. Drink some. Okay. So I will do four to
five ounces for one scoop of protein and just
shoot it and away we go. Does that look better?
Where's your six? Six, four. Yeah, that's probably
closer to it. Okay. So Kaylee brought in her
protein. I'm going to open it up. I only have
16 tubs in my pantry. So this one is two scoops,
and so it should be just the same probably scoop
size. Yeah, I carry the one and double it and
then divide by and multiply. Okay, so with that,
we're going to take just a quick little ad break.
Be sure to check out nachofitnesscoach .com to
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episodes and access direct links to our social
media. Okay, we're back. Then, so we're going
to try mine first. And then Kaylee's is basically
double. Yeah. Mine, what I do. I just don't understand
how you... It's a more common probably ratio.
I feel like a lot of protein powders... I don't
understand how you swallow it. It sounds like
it would be so sick. Protein powders are... Most
of them will say 8 to 10 ounces per scoop. So
Kaylee's actually probably following directions
better than I am, but I also... Yeah, what do
the directions say? This one says it is supposed
to be... Where is it? I don't even know if it
says on this one. It does? Somewhere? Keep going.
Mix power protein. Oh, directions to use. Two
scoops into 8 to 16 ounces. Oh, that's broad.
8 to 16 ounces. And you do 20. About 16 to 20.
16 to 20. Usually, like, because we used to buy
these water bottles. These are, what, 16 .9?
Yeah. So then that means, all right, here we
go. So I'm actually going to kind of, so it doesn't
just all plop in. Because, you know. We don't
want that. I hate it when that happens. I know.
Does that look like it's about half of a scoop?
Yeah. I'll try a little bit more. Okay. Okay.
I'm going to do yours first. That way you can
shake it up nice and good. I don't know if I
really feel like I need to try my own though.
I guess we're doing them side by side though.
I want to see how they are. Okay. So then this
is about half a scoop too. Yes. All right. In
my shaker bottle. So we got. I just feel like
this is going to be so thick. I think you're
going to surprise yourself. It's going to be
delicious. Is that really how you shake yours?
I just do whatever. Are we good? Do you think
we're all shaken up now? Oh, man. The one thing
I will definitely say is mine takes you wild.
You gotta lick the nub first. Well, yeah, because
otherwise you're gonna get it. You can get it
on your nose. You gotta lick the nub. Just never.
Oh, God. It's so thick. Wait, let me see how
it is first. Oh, yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah.
Ew. Ew. He had to spit. Spit? That's nasty. That's
nasty. No, it's not. It's delicious. Perfection.
Perfection. No, it's not. Yum, that's some good
stuff. That's it. See, mine's done already. How
do you swallow it? Fucking chew it up first.
You know what kind of reminds me? I was like,
did you ever make pudding? Is it like instant
pudding? Instant pudding? No. That's like pudding.
That's fucking disgusting. Is this what you drink
every day? Yes. But that is the texture. It's
like instant pudding. You know, before you put
it in the fridge, you mix it up or whatever you
put. We used to shake it in something that almost
didn't even look like this. It was like a Rubbermaid,
you know, or Tupperware kind of home Tupperware
thing. And it had the little lid and you shake
it up and you'd pour it in. But that's kind of
the texture of these. It's delicious. No, it's
not. Yes, it is. Yours is going to be nasty as
hell. It's going to be all watered down. no i
am not looking forward to your situation at all
i did not like that i just okay my water put
your water in it all right fine there we go oh
my god you just drink that every day are we just
doing the rest of this no oh eight what are we
doing too much because we didn't cut it in half
right so Do you usually do 16 or 20? Because
that makes a difference in how we go about this.
I used to do these water bottles, but we don't
buy these anymore. So now I just generally, but
I scoop first and then I just kind of, I don't
know, probably about 16 ounces. Okay. So we need
then, so 16 would be eight. Eight ounces in one
scoop. So now it needs to be four ounces. Oh,
four? Yeah. Because we're only doing half a scoop,
right? So you're basically doubling. God. This
one's really dark. Oh, there we go. Okay, so
now we need. I mean, halfway. There's the. All
right, so now we're going four ounces for a half
a scoop. I did five -ish. I still had quite a
bit in there because. Okay. Oh, God, I can still
smell it. It smells the same. It's the same powder.
It smells thick. No. How exactly do you smell
thick? I guess I'm a little confused by that.
Alan knows what I'm talking about. What does
thick smell like? I don't even understand. It
smells heavy. All right. Heavy. Okay. It's a
little much. All right. So now we've got half
a scoop of protein going into Kaylee's watered
-down mess. That's a little bit too much, I think.
That's not going to be right. Okay. There we
go. There's Kaylee's half scoop. With her ratio.
Yeah, all over my pants now. Same powder. Twice
as much water. Oh, my word. Okay. I don't know.
Okay. This is going to be so. Ew, I got it on
my desk. How did you do that? I don't know. I
was spitting, gagging everywhere. I am surprised
you did not lose that all over the floor. I almost
did. Oh, gosh. Okay, so now you should be happy
because this is your concoction. Right? You're
licking the... Yes. It's embarrassing when you
leave that on your nose. Like, if you don't...
The eye contact is wild. It's right there. Don't
do that. Okay. Oh, this is going to be gross.
I'm going to tell you. Okay. Cheers. Okay. Oh.
No. Yes! She got all cocky. She's like, oh yeah,
look at me. I'm drinking a one big gulp of this.
Almost fired on her. Not so much look at me now.
Oh, no. Oh, God. It's on my computer screen.
This is not good. It's better. This doesn't even
taste like chocolate. It's so watered down that
the flavor is not even there anymore. You don't
have to chew it. It's nasty. I disagree wholeheartedly.
100%. Uh -uh. There is no flavor to this. Like,
you literally have completely washed out all
the flavor of chocolate in here. But we're still
both getting the same amount of protein, right?
Correct. Okay, so with that, we're going to take
just a quick little ad break. Hey, Nacho Nation,
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cannot wait to hear what you think about all
of the products. Okay, we're back. It doesn't
matter, but it's just a preference thing. It
is a preference, but you looked at me like I
was a weirdo for only having half the amount
of water. That's disgusting. It was. It was like
drinking pudding. This is nasty. No, it's not.
This is, yes. I disagree. We're at an impasse.
I feel like I have chocolate all over my face.
I don't like that. I do not. I mean, thanks for
bringing your protein share with me, and the
flavor is delicious, but I do not like that watered
-down version. I don't like your version. Which
I know is technically, like, you make it to the
ratios that are actually listed on the... My
husband does that, too. He doesn't put as much
water in. I just don't understand. That's just
so old that I can't... That is like, I think
we should make Alan try both of them. Yes, we
need to wash these out, and we'll do a side -by
-side for Alan. Can we pause and come back? Yeah,
I think we're okay. Okay, so we're going to pause.
We're going to be right back. We're going to
go wash out the shaker bottles, and we're going
to put Alan to the test. He can do the side -by
-side, so we'll be right back. Okay, so we're
back. We got our shaker bottles all cleaned up
for Alan. He's going to do the taste test now.
So we're going to get these bottles mixed up.
So we got Kaylee's going to go into the one.
About five, four and a half, five ounces, right?
Yeah. Four and a half, five. Okay. So we got
that one. I got to get the protein in it then
too. This one's going to go. So we need half.
Now, Alan, correct me if I'm wrong. This is your
very first. protein shake right correct oh yeah
okay so this is a true taste test like this is
somebody that's never actually even tasted protein
and i mean listen all pro all protein powders
have a little bit of like a protein flavor taste
to them like it's not like drinking a true milkshake
you know it's gonna be it's still got like it's
good for a protein shake you know it's kind of
what you have to think about like okay protein
shakes you get and they taste like expired drywall
Yeah. Oh, that's what it tastes. Yeah, but this
isn't so bad. No, this one actually, like, the
flavor is really good when you drink it with
the right ratio. My ratio. I actually taste the
chocolate, but, you know, I mean. Emphasis on
the chalk. Chalk. Chocolate. Will I know which
one it is? Yeah, you will. Okay. Sarah's, you
have to chew a little bit. So should we do mine
first, then two, just so it's exactly the same?
Like, we'll do the. I didn't know if this was
a blind taste. No, you're just going to have
to. You're going to know which is which. So you're
just going to have to tell us which one is the
more desirable ratio. I'm just trying to make
sure that it's like even here. Right at about
a half of a scoop, which kind of takes some.
Okay. So here is. So there's the first one. Make
sure it's popped shut. I know. That is also a
thing you learn very quickly is you got to hear
the claps. The clipping. Okay, so here. There
you go. Get some practice. Shake that. Shakey
shake. Gotta maintain eye contact while you're
shaking. Yeah, with Kaylee. I'm busy. I'm busy
with the shaker. You gotta watch too. She's afraid
too. Oh my god. Alright, so then we got this
one. So we got half of a scoop then now in Kaylee's
bottle which is about Five, four, four or five
ounces of water. That's about half. I think they're
on that one. Okay. So we're going to shake these
bad boys up and he's going to have a chance to
kind of taste it. Now I would maybe encourage
you to not be by the board just in case something
funky happens, right? You think you're going
to, I mean, I wouldn't want for anything to get
ruined. I'm pointing towards both of you. There
we go. Just. Just make sure you don't ruin the
audio of the episode. If it hits my shit, it's
okay. Okay. All right. Gosh darn it. This is
not screwing on very good. Okay. Here we go.
We got it. Okay. So the first one is. This is
how Sarah drinks her protein. This is how I.
This is how I. This is. That's how I drink my
protein. Oh, yeah. See, now he's getting it.
There we go. I figured it out. Get the beard
into it. Okay, so there we go. Now, it's got
a little, like, pop. Like, you have to... Pop
it open. Pop open. There you go. Okay. It looks
numb. It looks numb. It's a requirement. Otherwise,
it ends up... It always ends up on your cheek
or your nose or something, like, if you're not
paying attention and just makes a mess. All right.
So, Alan, we got to get pictures and video of
this very first protein shake ever. Like, we're
trying to have some positive influence on him
here. But, all right, this is my version. Okay.
So. Okay. Here we go. So, Kaylee, when you're
rinsing out. Oh. Am I doing this or? You can.
Okay. Go for it. We'll talk about it after. Go
ahead. full undivided attention on alan is this
chug or just you do you do you do you yeah i
like that see and he did the whole thing mine
yet he didn't but he did almost the whole thing
one shot see there we go alan yeah so we were
actually likening the two between drinking like
chocolate milk or a milkshake like the consistency
is just putting whatever i mean that's a milk
that's a milkshake that's milkshake issue Okay,
thank you. I liked it. All right. See? All right,
he's on board. He's on board. Two against one
so far. I'm not against that. I'm sorry. Yes,
no, you're right. You haven't tried it yet because
you might be. You don't know. Okay, here we go.
Lick the nub. She's so bossy. I know. I like
the nub licking part. It's like my favorite part.
Would you like this? Double fisting it now. Here
we go. Oh, man. And this is Kaylee's, right?
Yeah, this is Kaylee's. Eye contact. Eye contact.
Just because. Let's take it up a little bit more.
Well, he has no bias, right? I mean, this is
the very first time, so. I could take it either
way. Oh, well. Well, there we have it, folks.
There we go. It really just comes down to preference.
It just comes down to preference. There's no
right or wrong way to have your ratio. It's the
same amount of protein. It's the same amount
of protein. Like, I mean, it really doesn't matter.
So it's just however you can be consistent. Just
whatever you can. Whatever you enjoy. Whatever
goes down your throat smoothly. Yeah. You know,
just don't. Choke. Choke. Or spit. Or spit it
back up. Or spit it back up. If it doesn't make
you spit. And just remember to lick the nub.
So it's not on your face. Your nose. Your nose.
Whatever. I don't know. I guess I would love
to hear from you. I mean, if you. What do you
do? As a listener, I mean, all the listeners
that we have out there, like, how do you drink
your protein shake? What's your ratio? Do you
like, you know, what do you use? Now, I will
also say that my 100 % whey isolate, I mix to
this ratio. But if I have like a whey mix, like
a classic, more classic blend that's not 100
% isolate or if it's got some casein in it, I
will do more water. Because those do tend to
be thicker in general anyways then. Well, I think
we do need to do an episode about, I think we
were going to compare your protein and my protein.
Oh, yeah. Because we discovered that when I was
doing carnivore diet, you asked if I could still
have my protein shakes. And I said, no, there's
way too many carbs in it. And you were like,
that's not right. And I checked, there's like
17 grams of carbs in it. And so then you were
comparing. Holy smokes. You were comparing ingredients.
This ingredients list is wild. Yeah. So I think
we need to compare. We need an episode comparing
my protein and your. And I would like to try
your protein if you would ever remember to bring
it. I will. You know what? I'll do. I'll go home
and I'll put it in my bag for next time. That
way we for sure make sure that I've got it with
me. This is wild. Yeah. It may not be the most
healthy. Turns out. Yeah. My ingredient list
is like double your ingredient list, which. this
is crazy i'm not gonna talk about it now but
i do have opinions shocker so we'll save that
for another episode so that's all we have for
today then that was it that was the whole episode
so i hope you enjoyed that so until next time
bye thanks for listening be sure to head over
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