1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,280 Hello and welcome to Unlimited Parenting where we discuss having children with disabilities 2 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,240 or special health care needs. 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:21,880 I'm Allison and with me today is a very special and esteemed guest, Kate Christensen. 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,800 We are picking up on the second half of her story. 5 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,960 I'm so glad that you've come back to hear the ending because she's going to give a lot 6 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,680 of great information. 7 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,160 So we're going to pick up right where we left off and I am going to segue right into Kate 8 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:42,080 talking about her experience with developmental preschool. 9 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:48,280 Starting the IT process like the transition from developmental preschool to elementary 10 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,880 school going to kindergarten with Mac. 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:58,600 I had a rough go, sweet little Mac. 12 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:07,280 The transition team wasn't going to allow the DDA, the person that was contracted to 13 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:13,320 work with my son at school, they weren't going to renew those contracts. 14 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:19,880 They were going to be working with another agency and I said, well, we just started this 15 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:20,880 part, right? 16 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,160 We're still, you know, this person knows my son. 17 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,640 I, you know, those are scary moments as parents, right? 18 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:34,120 Now I can kind of see the medium change and new people and it's more people to understand 19 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:39,960 and to learn about autism. 20 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:46,160 But the training, the changing of hands is still a very difficult subject because it's 21 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:52,880 like, my gosh, another person I have to teach how my son functions in this world and how 22 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,960 this world is not set up for him and what's the best way to help him. 23 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:04,960 So we went to that meeting and I want to say it was the last year of developmental preschool 24 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,360 because that's when we started this process and I was questioning whether or not to keep 25 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,600 him in developmental preschool. 26 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:18,680 And I said, the person who was our, she was the director for the preschool and then my 27 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,040 team for the new school. 28 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,120 And they were like, well, we don't want him to have his talking device. 29 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,600 We want to make sure that he actually is nonverbal. 30 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,800 We want to see how he does without it. 31 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,640 We want to make sure he actually is nonverbal. 32 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:38,640 Yeah, we want to make sure he actually needs it and we want to see how he communicates 33 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:39,640 without it. 34 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,640 Okay. 35 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:48,400 And this was my first experience in advocacy where I used my big girl voice. 36 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,760 I was very proud of this moment. 37 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:57,800 I'm still proud of this moment because I looked directly in the face. 38 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,800 Yes, Kate. 39 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,800 Yes. 40 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,800 Yes. 41 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:08,640 I looked her directly in the face and I said, would you like me to take your voice box out 42 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,320 and see if you learn how to communicate in a month? 43 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,120 You want to see how that looks like for you? 44 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,120 Oh, powerful. 45 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,120 The whole room, I was so angry. 46 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,440 I'm pretty sure it wasn't a calm moment. 47 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:26,440 I was probably crying because when I'm angry, I cry. 48 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:32,840 And I turned beet red, like all the blood that could possibly go from any point in my 49 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,320 body goes to my face and my chest. 50 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:41,520 And so I look like I'm about to explode with just everywhere. 51 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,520 I'm so hot. 52 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,320 It feels like a hot flash. 53 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,760 And I know it's there and I know they're all looking at me like, oh my gosh, this lady 54 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,760 is about to explode. 55 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:57,560 And I'm like, I'm going to take your voice box out so you can see how you function day 56 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,560 to day for 30 days. 57 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,240 What do you think about that? 58 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,680 She's like, well, that's not really what that means. 59 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:08,600 And it really does because you're essentially saying that you want to take away the only 60 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:13,400 form of communication he's known that has been effective for him. 61 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:18,960 And you just want to see, like it's some kind of experiment. 62 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:26,840 And that was when I left that meeting and the person who worked with Max, she had just 63 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,720 casually said, hey, you know what? 64 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,920 You should contact I Go Parents Unlimited. 65 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,360 And I'm like, what is that? 66 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:39,400 And she goes, oh, well, there are places that can help you with all this stuff, with IEPs 67 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400 and all that. 68 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,560 And I go, OK, where did these people come from? 69 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,160 Because I was leaving these people years ago. 70 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,160 And she's like, go ahead. 71 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,160 Here's the phone number. 72 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,160 I'm like, all right. 73 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,160 I called and I talked to a person who's not there anymore. 74 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,360 I spoke to her on the phone and I'm bawling. 75 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,360 Never mess this up. 76 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,360 I'm sure you get called like this all the time. 77 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,360 Never mess this up. 78 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,360 I'm bawling. 79 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:09,840 I'm not understanding how the meeting went so badly. 80 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:13,720 And she tells me, oh, it sounds like you might need a facilitated meeting. 81 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,720 I'm like, what is that? 82 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,720 What does that mean? 83 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,720 What else? 84 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:17,720 What new thing do I have to do now? 85 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,720 I'm just like, OK. 86 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,720 And she's like, don't worry. 87 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:20,720 We'll get this set up. 88 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,720 And we have to contact the State Department of Education. 89 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,720 And I'm like, OK. 90 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,720 I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 91 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:24,720 And I'm like, OK. 92 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:25,720 And she's like, don't worry. 93 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:26,720 We'll get this set up. 94 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:27,720 And we have to contact the State Department of Education. 95 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,720 And I'm like, OK. 96 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,720 And she's like, don't worry. 97 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:31,720 We'll get this set up. 98 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,720 And we have to contact the State Department of Education. 99 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,720 Talk about the seat resolution. 100 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,720 And what they do is they have this facilitator. 101 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,720 And they'll come to your meeting and vote a lot. 102 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,720 I'm like, OK. 103 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,720 So how much is this going to cost? 104 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,720 Because speech therapy was already so much. 105 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,720 Before that, I was like, OK. 106 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,720 What does this cost? 107 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:45,720 She's like, no. 108 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,720 This is completely free to you. 109 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,720 And I'm just bawling my eyes out. 110 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,720 And she is sitting there being so gracious with me and understanding. 111 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:49,720 I told her, I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 112 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:50,720 I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 113 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,720 I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 114 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,720 I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 115 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:58,720 I'm going to go to the State Department of Education. 116 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,720 And she is sitting there being so gracious with me and understanding. 117 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:02,720 I told staff, I love you all so much. 118 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,720 You just get it. 119 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:04,720 You just get it. 120 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:05,720 When you walk this life, you just get it. 121 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:06,720 And at that point, I didn't know that this is who they were. 122 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,720 And so I was just so thrilled to just hear somebody and somebody tell me that I wasn't 123 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,720 crazy. 124 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:22,720 Or that you had options. 125 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:33,720 Or that what you're asking for is not like, this isn't wrong. 126 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,720 You're doing the right thing. 127 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:42,720 And so we had a facilitated meeting and the facilitator made it very clear that if I did 128 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,720 not want to put him in developmental preschool that last year that I did not have to. 129 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,720 And I, because his three-year eval was still going to be good. 130 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,720 So when we did the transition meeting to kindergarten, it would be just fine. 131 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,720 And he would still be, you know, we wouldn't have to do that process again. 132 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,720 And we could just write a new IEP. 133 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,720 I said, great. 134 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,720 Sounds awesome. 135 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,720 I don't want him to be with these people anymore who think that his, I don't know, 136 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,720 he's sometimes faking being non-vulnerable. 137 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,720 I don't know. 138 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,720 So I pulled him out and put him in HI, you know, a habilitated intervention for full 139 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,720 time for that next school year until we started kindergarten. 140 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:28,720 And we saw so much growth and especially with communication and really just focused in on, 141 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,720 you know, understanding how OT works in a classroom. 142 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:39,720 The functionality with communication between his peers, his teachers, the functionality 143 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:45,720 in a classroom of, like I said, what OT looks like in a classroom setting. 144 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:53,720 How to help him with, you know, compression clothing, weighted lap pads, bands at the 145 00:07:53,720 --> 00:08:01,720 bottom of the chair, weighted pencils, all that, which OT is my love language. 146 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:09,720 And I'm actually, you know, realized where my passion lies. 147 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,720 Because like I had had a career before and I had gone to culinary school. 148 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,720 I was a chef and like a pastry chef. 149 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,720 Like this world was just like the total opposite of where I had come from. 150 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:26,720 And so just currently, present day, I'm attempting to go back to school to be an OT. 151 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,720 It has changed our whole lives. 152 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:42,720 I love seeing a kiddo go from not really knowing how to, how their body is in a classroom setting 153 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,720 and see them successful. 154 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:50,720 And I think there's just such beauty in that because we all don't fit in this box. 155 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,720 We all don't fit in these perfect little cookie cutter shapes. 156 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,720 And OT busts through those little boxes. 157 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,720 And it's like, no, let's try this. 158 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,720 Let's try this. 159 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:02,720 Let's try this. 160 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:07,720 And I am eternally grateful. 161 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:14,720 I see chapter 7, I damn too, but there's just something so special about OT that has my heart. 162 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:20,720 And he went into kindergarten just ready. 163 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,720 Like he was so ready. 164 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:27,720 Like he's always been my oldest, has always been ready for like he's never been like a 165 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,720 like I said, he crawled early and walked early and got all these teeth. 166 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:36,720 And the second I dropped him off of these places, it's not like, you know, he's never been one to cling to me. 167 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,720 But bye. 168 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,720 He's ready for an adventure. 169 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,720 He was ready. 170 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,720 He was ready. 171 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:52,720 With Benjamin, it was a big ups and downs, big, big behaviors. 172 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:59,720 Lots of protesting transitions were difficult for him, complete opposite, of course. 173 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:04,720 So I was learning all new skills with Benjamin, but I did not get to learn with Maxis. 174 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:15,720 So we were, you know, learning about different language to use with Benjamin when it came to transition. 175 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,720 And what helped him was that first then. 176 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,720 So and I still use it to this day. 177 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,720 First, we're going to do an un-preferred. 178 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,720 Then we're going to do a preferred. 179 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:38,720 And that's how we slowly started to see his growth and progress when it came to doing things he didn't want to do. 180 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:43,720 He's an extremely literal kid. 181 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:49,720 He does not sarcasm has no place in his world. 182 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:57,720 And he he will tell you exactly what he's feeling, exactly what he feels it. 183 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:13,720 And we've had some real fun scenarios over the years with complete strangers when it came to, let's see, protesting. 184 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:26,720 Literal literal protest like I'm a very active member of my community and I enjoy participating in things that give us that right and ability to protest. 185 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,720 So I take him with me. 186 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,720 I take all the kids with me. But yeah. 187 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,720 So just recently we were actually walking in. 188 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,720 I was wearing a shirt because, you know, I wear these. 189 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,720 OK, shout out to this company called Kind Cotton Teeth. 190 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:54,720 They are a movement that creates these t-shirts that are for a huge group of lots of different bands, guns, not books. 191 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,720 But this is like this one's like my shirt that I'm wearing now. 192 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,720 It's like you are seen, you are loved, you are valued. 193 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,720 It's for Pride Month for June. 194 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:12,720 Then there's, gosh, empower, educate, like teacher t-shirts supporting our teachers, supporting. 195 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,720 There's so many different movements. 196 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:20,720 And then a percentage of the profits go back to getting books for kids in schools and they donate large amounts of books for schools. 197 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,720 And so I get this monthly t-shirt that comes. 198 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:31,720 And so I'm walking to the store with Benjamin and we're going to I don't know what store it was, but I'm wearing a t-shirt that says like love is love. 199 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:37,720 And, you know, something about I think it's not neurodiversity, but this one I think said love is love. 200 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,720 And it's got all the rainbowy colors. 201 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,720 I love wearing shirts because they're one, super comfortable and soft. 202 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,720 But two, I love the messages that they have on them. 203 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:51,720 And a gentleman decides to flip me the bird. 204 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,720 A complete stranger, complete stranger, flips me the bird. 205 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,720 And in front of your kids. 206 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:06,720 Yes, but Benjamin knows what that means because we've had to talk about it in the past because it happened at school. 207 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,720 You know, I have some fun conversations with Ben's teachers. 208 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,720 Oh, I imagine. 209 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:20,720 Benjamin sees everything and he looks and he stops dead in his tracks. 210 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,720 He says, hey, you can't do that. 211 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,720 That means this, right? 212 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:33,720 You know, he says the literal word and he's got a finger right off the sky. 213 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,720 Like that is a very literal person. 214 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:36,720 He's like, you can't say that. 215 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,720 That means this. 216 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:38,720 And that's not nice. 217 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,720 Yeah, you're breaking the rules. 218 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,720 I know. 219 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:52,720 And this person's face was like full of shock because he did not expect my sweet little 10-year-old boy to do that. 220 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,720 But we have talked a lot about, OK, that's a very powerful thing. 221 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,720 It sends a very strong message. 222 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:00,720 And this is what it means. 223 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:10,720 I'm always very honest with my boys about those kinds of things, especially with Benjamin, because he's a literal kid and he knows exactly what these things mean. 224 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,720 And this person didn't say anything. 225 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,720 And I'm like, I said, Benjamin, it's OK. 226 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,720 Like, it's all right. 227 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,720 Thank you. 228 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,720 It's not a nice thing to do. 229 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,720 And we're just going to go back. 230 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:21,720 And he just kept going. 231 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,720 That's not nice. 232 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:23,720 He shouldn't do that. 233 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,720 That is mean. 234 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,720 And I'm like, it's OK, buddy. 235 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:27,720 It's all right. 236 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,720 Let's go to the car. 237 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,720 So we get to the car. 238 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:36,720 And of course, in the car, my internal mom, I'm just like, yes! 239 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:48,720 I'm so pumped that my son stood up in that moment to understand that this was something that was ugly and gross. 240 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,720 And I'm like, don't say that. 241 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,720 And of course, I was going to ignore it. 242 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,720 I was going to ignore it. 243 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:55,720 Whatever. 244 00:14:55,720 --> 00:15:03,720 But I was very proud in that moment of my son, because we involve our kids a lot in the process of IEPs. 245 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:09,720 And they are very much in those meetings and a part of that process. 246 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:16,720 And that, there for me, was his little advocate, his little ball of fire, as I call it, in the gut. 247 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,720 That is growing for him. 248 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:28,720 And it was just, in an ugly situation, it was a beautiful moment for me as a mom to see. 249 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,720 And of course, he still talks about it to this day. 250 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,720 Like, remember that guy who said this? 251 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,720 It's a core memory. 252 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,720 It is. 253 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:45,720 And plus, his memory, because of the echolalia and his ability to memorize things so vividly, I don't think he'll ever forget. 254 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,720 I don't think he'll ever forget it, honestly. 255 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,720 Echolalia is so incredible. 256 00:15:52,720 --> 00:16:06,720 I've been to a couple of conferences, but I remember the first advice I ever received from our speech therapist about echolalia when it came to Benjamin, especially, she said, insert yourself into the conversation. 257 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,720 Because I said, he's talking so fast. 258 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,720 I don't know what he's saying. 259 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:14,720 I don't know how, like, because at first it was a bunch of like mumbling, right? 260 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,720 And he would like throw in a couple words that I could understand. 261 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,720 And so she's like, throw yourself into the conversation. 262 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:29,720 So like, when he started being more clear with his words as he got older, he would say, I want to go, you know, we're going to go to the market today. 263 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,720 And like, we're going to go to the market? 264 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,720 We are? 265 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,720 What are we going to get? 266 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:39,720 And he'd look at me, and he'd go, no, that's not what I meant. 267 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,720 That's not what I mean. 268 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,720 And I go, well, you said we're going to go to the market. 269 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,720 And he's like, well, I want chips. 270 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,720 I was like, you want to go to the market to get chips? 271 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,720 Yes, I want to go to the market to get chips. 272 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:57,720 So slowly, we started seeing that change from a scripted part of a show turn into his wants and needs. 273 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,720 So that communication changed a lot there for us. 274 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:08,720 So and we started noticing that all the scripts, like, even when he would say it and it was out of context for that scenario, 275 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:18,720 it was very much in context for the meaning behind the phrase or the sentence or the whole paragraph of what he was saying. 276 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,720 And like, wow, like, it's kind of incredible. 277 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,720 Like, he's using it in correct context. 278 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,720 He was always trying to communicate, right? 279 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:29,720 He was. 280 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:36,720 And I know part of me felt so bad because I was like, wow, I'm finally getting it a few years after diagnosis, 281 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,720 to where I could not. 282 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:44,720 I'm like, I want to know when you get in the car after school, I said, Ben, how was your day? 283 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,720 And then he would say something, something scripted. 284 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,720 I'm like, oh, buddy, that sounds amazing. 285 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,720 But I never knew. 286 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,720 But like now, when he comes home from school and he still is very much like, you're like a lot of kids. 287 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,720 But you know, how was your day? Great. 288 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:04,720 But I'll say, what did you do in class today that made you happy? 289 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:12,720 And he's like, oh, well, I got to go to, you know, I got to do this or I got to make popcorn or I was able to do. 290 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,720 Wow, buddy, tell me more. 291 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:24,720 And then he'll say, like, talking about tell me more, he'll still insert some script, but then he'll bring out some original context, too. 292 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:31,720 And so it's kind of like a mix of scripting and original context from him. 293 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,720 And it's kind of beautiful and I love it. 294 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,720 And it's not kind of beautiful. It is beautiful. 295 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:41,720 And I enjoy that part of him. 296 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:52,720 And I think finding the joy in like somebody else who doesn't have a kiddo, like, and just have like a typical conversation with their child and they give a typical answer. 297 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,720 And, you know, there's beauty in that, too. 298 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:08,720 But somebody who doesn't, it doesn't come as easily, I should say, that you really had to fight for to understand and to make sense of things. 299 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,720 I just it carries a different weight. 300 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,720 It does. It does. 301 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,720 And, you know, don't get me wrong. 302 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:29,720 There are days when I go to a store and I see a kiddo who is my oldest son's age who is telling their mom about their day and saying, hey, they really want this thing or that thing or this thing. 303 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,720 And or, you know, this is how my day went. 304 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,720 I was talking about a sports team that they're on. 305 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,720 I get emotional. 306 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:45,720 Some days it can be hard to see a version that I thought my child would be. 307 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:57,720 But at the same time, I am the mother I am because of him and because of everything that he and Benjamin and Samuel have all taught me. 308 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:06,720 And comparing myself to others, I learned very quickly, will not go very far to help your mental health at all. 309 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,720 100%. 310 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:19,720 And I did learn very quickly that mental health and taking care of yourself, either with medication or therapy or both, you know, they always talk about me time and taking a bubble bath. 311 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,720 I'm like, no, that's not my version of self-care. 312 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,720 My version of self-care is my therapy session. 313 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:30,720 My medication is self-care and making sure I'm taking my medication to help with my anxiety. 314 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,720 That is my self-care. 315 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,720 And I will forget. 316 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,720 There are days when I don't take it or a week when I don't take it. 317 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,720 And then I'm like, wait, what's going on with me? 318 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,720 Something feels off. 319 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,720 Something feels. 320 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,720 And I'm like, oh, no, I haven't taken my anxiety meds for a week. 321 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,720 Like what has happened? 322 00:20:53,720 --> 00:21:02,720 And that affects a lot, too, because I'm the one that, you know, my husband is an amazing partner as well. 323 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,720 And he is very hands-on and he goes to all these appointments, too. 324 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,720 And in the beginning, he was my ride or die. 325 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:13,720 He still is my ride or die and an incredible partner. 326 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:29,720 And I mean, just everything that, you know, I know that it can be difficult for parents when you've got a kiddo with a disability and special needs can be very straining on a marriage. 327 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:38,720 And I will say we've somehow managed to find our solid ground with each other. 328 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,720 And, you know, they're in a difficult phase. 329 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,720 They're a difficult conversation sometimes. 330 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:51,720 And sometimes we're harder on Ben than we are on Max, but the expectations shouldn't be any different. 331 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,720 But yet sometimes we make those exceptions because he's nonverbal. 332 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,720 And I don't, you know, there's just something that's apparent. You make those choices. 333 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,720 And sometimes they're not the right choices. 334 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,720 And they call me out on it. 335 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,720 Well, would you do that for Max or would you do that for Ben? 336 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:08,720 Yeah. 337 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,720 I'm like, well, no, I wouldn't think for calling me out. 338 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:20,720 You know, like I try to hold the expectations high and for all my kids. 339 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:29,720 And the partnership has been so like I couldn't be the mom I am without my partner. 340 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:34,720 I'm just truly grateful for him on a day-to-day basis. 341 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,720 He truly is the best partner for me and the father to our kiddos. 342 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,720 So I'm very grateful. 343 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,720 It's a long road. 344 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:49,720 And like I said, that advice I got with the checkmarks and the taking it one step at a time is slowly over time. 345 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:59,720 I realized that that's the advice that I generally will give to parents now when I help them with the IEP process or with Medicaid or trying to figure out Katie Beckett. 346 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:09,720 I will tell them to one day at a time, one checkbox and just go down the list of what you need to do. 347 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:16,720 So when I started, when the boys are all settled in school and IEPs are going and my youngest was in preschool and, you know, 348 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:26,720 I'm starting to find my footing again is when I started to dive into helping other parents because I was like, 349 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:32,720 I never want to feel another parent to feel that way that I felt where I didn't know what to do or who to turn to or where to go. 350 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:41,720 So when I when I first had talked to I pull when that whole facilitated meeting happened, I said, OK, where can I learn how to do this more effectively? 351 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,720 Right. So I started going to training. 352 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:48,720 We had them in person then up here in the North. We don't have them up here in the North in person right now. 353 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:54,720 I hope to have them back one day. But the she would do monthly training. 354 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:59,720 I think I went to the IEP training, which is the same training every time. 355 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:05,720 You learn something new. You learn something new every time. I will say that I still learn something new every time. 356 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:10,720 I think I went to that training 12 times, maybe 15. 357 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:17,720 Wow. At least. And that's how I started to really understand the IEP process. 358 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:24,720 My rights as a parent, my son's rights, what that looks like, how to build an effective IEP, 359 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:30,720 how to, you know, create that really solid, strong, strength based IEP. 360 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:35,720 And that was literally all because of the training I received from Idaho Parents Unlimited. 361 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:40,720 It was all free. It was all free. And I was like, I just dove in. 362 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,720 My husband would come home from work. I'd go to the nightly training that we had at the hospital. 363 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,720 And then the next month, maybe it was an IEP. It was strength based IEPs or something else. 364 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,720 And I would go and I would learn and bring that home. 365 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:59,720 And I mean, I can't even tell you. Like I said, it had to be a dozen times at least of these trainings. 366 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:08,720 And so over time, just word of mouth, I would just tell parents like, here, here's what you can do to help yourself and help your child. 367 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:13,720 And I just started slowly being somebody that I would get random calls. 368 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:19,720 Hey, my friend so and so told me to call you to help. And I'm like, oh, great. Let's talk. 369 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:26,720 And that was my goal was to just be that first lifeline to where I could pass off to somebody who do more than me 370 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:33,720 or ask a question that I didn't know the answer. And that's how I started slowly to learn more and more. 371 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:40,720 And now over the last nine years, almost a decade, that's what I do. 372 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:46,720 And I will to this day still get calls. I take probably half a dozen calls a week. 373 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,720 You're so instrumental in your community. 374 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,720 Well, from parents who are just, you know, I started volunteering. 375 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,720 I started volunteering at the autism society locally. 376 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:03,720 And that's where I met a lot of people to and parents and getting to know, you know, 377 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:09,720 those families and getting to know that, you know, the ins and outs of, you know, I know this feels overwhelming, 378 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,720 but there's never a brick wall. There's always a fork in the road. 379 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:18,720 So we can always pick a path right. Like the brick wall. 380 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:23,720 You know, you feel like you're at the end, but there's always a fork. Let's choose this path or this path. 381 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:28,720 Which way would you like to go? OK, now there's another fork or another decision to make. 382 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:34,720 It never hits the end for me. I feel like there's always new ways to approach things. 383 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:39,720 So like I said, now I got a call just a couple of weeks. 384 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:47,720 This is last year, I think my the owner of our DBA agency is like, well, I've got a case manager to help and welfare who used to work for me. 385 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:53,720 And she'd like to be able to refer parents to you. I'm like, well, I'm like, I'm just a parent. 386 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:58,720 But if they need somebody to talk to quickly before they can get to the eyeful, that's like, yeah, absolutely. 387 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:05,720 And that's just kind of how I work. Like I've been a volunteer for 10 years and I love it. 388 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:11,720 I love being able to help a parent in that moment. It's my kind of therapy, honestly. 389 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:17,720 I when they call, I know what to do. OK, I know you're feeling frustrated. 390 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:22,720 Here's here's what you can do. Here's what you know, like I always practice. 391 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,720 Right. I'm not legal advice. I'm I'm a volunteer and I'm a parent. 392 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:36,720 And, you know, but here are your resources. And I think another good point to make here is that I'm not there to do it for them. 393 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:41,720 Just like you guys aren't with I-POL staff. Like you're not there to do it for them. 394 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:47,720 You are there to help educate them and guide them through the process and, you know, invest as you can. 395 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:56,720 But I think it's important as a parent to gain those skills, to do it for yourself and with your child. 396 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:02,720 Because if you have somebody there with you doing it for you, what do you learn? 397 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,720 What do you what are you going to learn from this process that this isn't a sprint. 398 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:15,720 This is a marathon. And you need to be able to accumulate those skills and know the routes to go. 399 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:23,720 When it's your turn. Like and I always tell the parents after I get off the phone or we solve some big problems, do this for another parent. 400 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:33,720 Like that is your that's your responsibility. Pay it forward to another parent who might be in this crisis. 401 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:42,720 That's all I ask. And if you don't know the answer, find somebody who does like call me or call I-POL or let's figure it out together. 402 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:47,720 And I think that's the that's the beauty in volunteering in your community. 403 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:57,720 But also if you've been a stay at home mom and you haven't had job experience for a number of years, this is how I gained, I guess, job experience. 404 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:07,720 But also felt like I had a place in this world that I didn't see coming. 405 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:12,720 And so this last year, this was in the last school year. 406 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:17,720 I had a friend of mine who's a special ed teacher here in our district. 407 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:23,720 And she told me she's like, you know, if I was looking for something, I was like, I can't be full time. 408 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,720 I can't like I just want to something that kind of like my kids are all in school. 409 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:32,720 Like I just would really like to, you know, maybe have a job. 410 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,720 But I don't know what that looks like. And she's like, what about substitute? 411 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:43,720 I think it's substitute teacher like teacher. I don't want to be responsible for a roomful of kids. 412 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,720 Like, no, you don't have to be you don't have to be like a teacher in a classroom setting. 413 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:53,720 You could be like a sub para. You could fill in on those days. 414 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,720 You could, you know, that kind of thing. You could figure out what works best for you. 415 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,720 And so she's like, just come to my on your first your first sub assignment. 416 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,720 Come to my school and I'll just kind of walk you through it. 417 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,720 And so she did. And I fell in love with it. 418 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:14,720 I fell in love with being a sub para, a one on one with with a student. 419 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:26,720 I did learn very quickly that I cannot work in a classroom with the similar behaviors and struggles I have at home with my children. 420 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:36,720 And as much knowledge as I've gained over the years of working with a nonverbal, behavior, 421 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:41,720 understanding the ins and outs of that for my own mental health. 422 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,720 I wasn't able to do that at work and do it at home. 423 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,720 Boundaries are important. 424 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:53,720 Yes. And that is something very new that I had learned in therapy in the last four years of being in therapy. 425 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:58,720 So as beautiful as these programs are and how grateful I am for these teams of people, 426 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:05,720 I couldn't be that parent in those those classrooms or those settings with those students. 427 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:17,720 And I'm so able to give advice and to be able to help in scenarios, but full time, even part time, I saw that it was not helping me. 428 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:26,720 So I ended up finding a school here locally where my youngest goes and they have a student who was meeting a one on one. 429 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,720 But I'm so sad I don't work for the district. 430 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:35,720 And they said, if you could give us a couple days a week, a few days a week of working with this student, you know, we can schedule for the rest of the year. 431 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,720 And it just gives you two, three days a week. 432 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,720 And, you know, I said, huh. 433 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:50,720 So I went to work with this student and the first day on the note and said, this student will not like you working with him at all. 434 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:58,720 And I was like, oh, thanks for the warning. 435 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,720 And that was back at the beginning of this semester. 436 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,720 So it's only been this last semester that I started working with this student. 437 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:10,720 I will tell you what this kiddo is one of my favorite kiddos to work with ever. 438 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,720 And he requests me. 439 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:27,720 He had gone to which he received an IP this semester and he has gone to his IP meetings because of me basically discussing with him what an IP is and how important it is for his education. 440 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,720 He's a little older. He's, you know, and, you know, not kindergarten, first grade. 441 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,720 But I was able to help him understand how important that IP was. 442 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,720 Like, you know, like this document is here to help you. 443 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,720 Like, it's here to help you. 444 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,720 And he's like, no, it's not. 445 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,720 And so I like, I like it down for him. 446 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,720 I'm like, look, here's all the specifics. 447 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:50,720 Like, you want to go over it? 448 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:51,720 He's like, sure. 449 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,720 But we talk about it and we we talk about the importance of goals and goal setting. 450 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,720 Like, you're doing great. 451 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:58,720 He likes to see the data. 452 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,720 He likes to see how he's doing on a day to day basis. 453 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,720 And I show him I'm very clear. 454 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,720 Like, today has not been a super great day. 455 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,720 Can we can we turn this around? 456 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:09,720 And he sees the data. 457 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,720 He's like, oh, OK. 458 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:20,720 And he'll you know, he understands like where he's in and his day and how how we're doing and where we're going. 459 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:29,720 And so next year, I probably request to be with him again for a couple of days a week and have that consistency because I do I really do enjoy even on the bad days. 460 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,720 I enjoy like on the rough days when he doesn't want to do work at all. 461 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:39,720 I I enjoy his perspective. 462 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:48,720 And he's taught me so much on seeing the other side of the fence when it comes to the IP process. 463 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,720 And you're just in the classroom. 464 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:52,720 Go ahead. 465 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,720 I was just you're just so passionate about it. 466 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:56,720 I love it. 467 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:57,720 I love it. 468 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,720 I love it. 469 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,720 I love the IT meeting. 470 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:07,720 I look I mean, there's some like this last year, I was a little anxious about this transition to middle school for my oldest son. 471 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:17,720 But after being in the school this year and seeing our tremendous educators in our district, especially like my friend who works at the high school. 472 00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:23,720 She sits down with her students and they go over their goals like she's like very much like look at this. 473 00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:24,720 What do you think about this goal? 474 00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:26,720 How does this goal make you feel? 475 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,720 Do you think this goal is reachable? 476 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,720 Like what is your true perspective on this? 477 00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:35,720 And I was sitting down and I was just observing and I'm like what a phenomenal educator she is. 478 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:41,720 But how that can like grow with that like be a part of the discussion. 479 00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:53,720 Be a part of this document that gives you and supplies you with a path to your education and and what that looks looks like in a classroom setting. 480 00:34:53,720 --> 00:35:03,720 And so I just I truly appreciate the IP and I I after seeing educators and how they're to implement them in a classroom. 481 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:08,720 It gives me a new perspective on what's realistic and what's not. 482 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:14,720 What's an IP as well? I mean obviously we set goals and we you know realistic goals and we try to make that work. 483 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:25,720 But I mean these teachers in my district we have some amazing, amazing Fed teachers and Gen Ed teachers. 484 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:28,720 We've had some rough ones. 485 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:36,720 When I lose the good ones and we lost the good one last year she left and went to work for another Idaho agency. 486 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,720 I'm all like a baby. 487 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:49,720 I'm all like a baby because when you find your people and you find the people who speak your children's language as I like to say you don't want to see them go. 488 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,720 And that's hard. 489 00:35:51,720 --> 00:36:03,720 But I do know and have come to appreciate the change is also good for my children because we need to actively involve more people in understanding neurodiversity. 490 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:18,720 Acceptance of these diagnosis of all disabilities and to see that our children have a place in school in this world and in a world that wasn't designed for them. 491 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:28,720 And I am like I said working with the students and you know in the school and being able to be around these kids like that's how I decided I wanted to be an OT for myself. 492 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:35,720 And I'd be able to be in these classrooms and work with these students and see that progress. 493 00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:42,720 And I'm just it's just it can be a beautiful process. 494 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:48,720 But I know there's a lot of struggles and I know a lot of parents have a lot of difficulty with their teens. 495 00:36:48,720 --> 00:37:07,720 And I just want you to know that there is beauty to this process and that they can be cohesive beautiful strength based plans that your children can thrive on and just learning to bend with some of my like I thought it's like 496 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:20,720 this is not the ins and outs of learning this process. You have to bend a little right. You bend. It's a marathon not a sprint. And they're always changeable. 497 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:30,720 If something doesn't work let's fix it. What's another way to go about this. That's kind of where my strength lies. I never want to. Nope it didn't work. It's all done. 498 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:39,720 Like I said I don't have a brick wall I hit a fork in the road. So absolutely. Here we go. And it's definitely clearly one of your strengths. 499 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:51,720 And I just want to say truly you know thank you so much for taking some time to just really talk about it. Yeah. And your story is it's going to help. 500 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:57,720 Hopefully you don't get hundreds of people flooding your phone but 501 00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:07,720 I love it. I love when I get a call from I mean I say love it but when a parent is in distress and they call and they don't know what to do. And by the time we get off the phone. 502 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:15,720 They'll say oh my gosh that was so incredibly helpful or wow I didn't even know that existed. 503 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:25,720 That's where I get my joy from your payment. It is that that's you know and I do get paid now by the district as a sub which is nice. 504 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:40,720 But there is a beauty in being this volunteer is somebody not having to worry about where this like it's a little bit like all right now so you don't have to pay for our services you know and so there's a beauty in knowing that you can get help that you need 505 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:53,720 without having to fork up some cash for it like like we should we should just be able to like I just need a little help a little help to know how to navigate this. 506 00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:56,720 And it's in the right direction. 507 00:38:56,720 --> 00:39:09,720 Exactly. So that's that's my goal is to never let another parent feel like I did where I didn't know which direction to go and I tell you what, when I first got my hands on a set of Eichel pamphlets. 508 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:24,720 I took it straight to that pediatrician's office that we no longer go to. He didn't know where to send me when my son wasn't talking. I took stacks of pamphlets and magnets and pens and information. 509 00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:34,720 And they're a huge office up here. I mean they have a ton of location. And I just said you know, I don't want another parent to feel this way. I don't want them to know not where to go. 510 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:48,720 And now I'll do that in my doctor's office down there. He had a flyer on the wall for some organization for autism that literally, I went to the website while I was sitting there waiting, and it said website not available. 511 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:59,720 The doctor comes in and I was like hey, he's like how are you doing? I'm like great, that website doesn't work. And they're like, well what do you mean? I was like I just typed it in and it doesn't take you to anything. 512 00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:10,720 And if a parent has made information about autism, I really feel like that would be a little frustrating. So I came back and I brought a bunch of pamphlets and I brought a bunch of pens. 513 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:21,720 And you know, it's just like the little moments and being effective in your community and making those small effective changes to making sure somebody never feels that way. 514 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:33,720 And that is my goal. How I became part of the board was I went to parent leadership back in 2018. So I signed up. I was like okay, teach me all the things. 515 00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:44,720 I had been to like a dozen of these IEP trainings. I'm like a week away of just nonstop learning. I'm like yes, sign me up. Signed up, did the interview, got accepted. 516 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:54,720 Had this really beautiful week up here in La Clee, Idaho, which is up by Sandpoint. Met some incredible women that I will never forget. 517 00:40:54,720 --> 00:41:02,720 Their stories, their families were still very much connected and we'll use each other as resources often. 518 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:14,720 And I put in my little one of these little books Sarah made, of course, that has like all the little quotes and little things that Sarah makes because that's what Sarah does. 519 00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:25,720 Of course. Sorry, she's one of the Eiffel Stats here. And she made these little booklets and it was like writing down our goals. Like what were some, you know, in the next five years, what are some goals for you? 520 00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:47,720 My first goal was to be an Eiffel board member. And I didn't know what that looked like. I just know I wanted to be involved to an organization who had given me so much power and like knowledge that I was like how can I pay this back or how can I pay it forward, I guess, essentially. 521 00:41:47,720 --> 00:42:04,720 So I was like, I don't know what that was. I've never been a board member to anything in my life. I thought the only thing I know about board members is like from TV where it's like you wear a power suit and you go to a sky-rise building and you're like running a company. 522 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:19,720 I didn't know what a board member looks like. I didn't even know that nonprofits had boards. I was completely clueless. And at the time, I don't think they were taking any board members. So I didn't have that opportunity then. But I did join a local organization, the Autism Society of North Idaho. 523 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:42,720 I served on that board as vice president for I want to say three years. I served my term there. And then in the midst of my term ending with them, I interviewed Freypole and became a board member. And in my first meeting with elected vice president, and then I became president and now I've been the board chair for a couple years. 524 00:42:42,720 --> 00:43:00,720 I thoroughly enjoy it. I enjoy watching this organization grow. I enjoy watching staff members grow in their areas and like learning more about them and their families and what can we do systemically? What can I do to advocate as far as that goes? 525 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:27,720 And that's when I learned about partners in policymaking, which then I joined last year and did partners in policymaking, which incredible program. So I did that for a year, you know, and then graduated this last, I suppose that 2020, 2021, I think, and met some of my favorite people in the whole world through that program. 526 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:43,720 And under really understanding systemic advocacy and policy changes and writing letters to legislators and making effective change here in Idaho and what that looks like and actually putting it into action. What do you do next? 527 00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:47,720 And I love that about you. 528 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:52,720 It never stops. It's just okay, well I've conquered this and now where else can I help? 529 00:43:52,720 --> 00:44:08,720 Yeah, where else can we help? Where else can we go? Who else needs a little guidance? Who else needs a little love? But it's like, I want to learn more too and I'm growing too and that's why, like I said, going back to school to, it's going to take me a long time with my kids and life and stuff, but 530 00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:23,720 going back to school and OT, which essentially sent me from spec, like I said, I was a chef and a pastry chef. So if we could go from one career to another that has nothing in common, it's these two careers. 531 00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:39,720 But like I said, in the last 10 years of being in OT's offices and being in those appointments and how many hours of OT I've done in the last 10 years with my sons, I feel like this is my calling. 532 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:55,720 This is where my heart is too and all this other work that I've been able to do and the volunteer work and the boards and all that information will only help if we, you know, going forward because I can pass that information on to other parents. 533 00:44:55,720 --> 00:45:12,720 Like, hey look, you know that this organization is available to you if you have questions or need extra help. I'm just, I'm very well versed in my community and what we have to offer. So if a parent does come up with that, that's what I'm here for. 534 00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:33,720 And I, you know, I know parents sometimes other kids age out and they get older, thus they stop, you know, not as active as you once were. And I don't know if that'll happen one day, but I will always be available to guide that person in the right direction because I will never let another parent feel the way that I felt in the beginning of the diagnosis process for my children. 535 00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:51,720 So my kids are thriving. My husband has epilepsy, so you know neurodiversity is very much in our home. That's just who we are as people and as a family and you know I go into the schools and we talk about diversity and read books and I bring, I used to bring 536 00:45:51,720 --> 00:46:12,720 the Sesame Street books, the Julia books, I used to bring those to kindergarten classes. So we could start at the beginning, you know, like kindergarten, let's talk about, you know, differences among our peers. And so one day you need a book for your family and how to discuss what autism is or what disabilities are in general because that book talks a lot about other disabilities as well. 537 00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:25,720 And there's another phenomenal book that I love for children. It's called Just Ask, but she had type 1 diabetes and so when the child, she would have to do shots and give herself injections and things like that. 538 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:41,720 And her biggest thing as a child with diabetes was saying that I just wanted people to ask if they had questions. And it goes through a ton of different diagnosis. There's a, you know, in a wheelchair, there's a person with nut allergies. 539 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:58,720 I want to say it probably goes through about 10 different diagnosis, I think maybe less. It all comes back to Just Ask. And I read that book to a couple of classes and then I actually had a couple teachers in first grade and kindergarten who asked to borrow it. 540 00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:12,720 And I've actually bought a few copies for some of these teachers so they can keep it in their classrooms year round. But I, this book really does open the conversation to what makes us all different. 541 00:47:12,720 --> 00:47:31,720 But just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong. It's different. We can all, we're all different. We're all living in this vast world of just people who are living their own very authentic self life and we should try to learn as much as we can about each other. 542 00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:38,720 And so that's me in a nutshell. That's our family in a nutshell. 543 00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:51,720 I know, I know, I am so, I'm so just you're just truly inspiring and the amount of effort and time that you put not only into your kids not only into your family but into your community. 544 00:47:51,720 --> 00:48:07,720 And I pull on the board, and we're just so lucky and thankful to have you and we're just so proud of you and we know that when you're done with OT and you're ready to just be your own therapist in your practice you're gonna have people knocking down the door. 545 00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:18,720 Yeah, I love what that looks for me, like for me, yeah, I'm like I, I love the school setting and love watching the OT and just as a shout out to my child. 546 00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:30,720 He is my oldest. So he, he tested out of school based OT services. Okay, direct, direct OT services. 547 00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:47,720 He now has indirect but I told the OT I said look, she's like he's writing his name beautifully he's doing all the things that qualify you for OT direct services right like the threshold for that is like what 7% and you have to qualify under the 7% window in the state of Idaho. 548 00:48:47,720 --> 00:49:06,720 And we got to the IEP meeting this last you know just last month and she's in there and she's telling me she's like, well, I don't need to do direct services with him anymore because he's, he's met his goal he's doing beautifully in the classroom and he doesn't need my direct services anymore. 549 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:17,720 I'm so thrilled. Like, as much as I love OT, and as much as I love this OT. I said, does he get a certificate. 550 00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:33,720 Like, this is, we've never graduated from anything yet I'm like, so I just literally this morning I took out his backpack look through his binder and she had made a special certificate, just for Max saying he had graduated from OT. 551 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:36,720 That's the sweetest. 552 00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:43,720 And it's just so sweet and I, I love the school based OTs and I love. 553 00:49:43,720 --> 00:50:01,720 I don't know if that's something that that will be in the future or private, you know, working with kiddos like in a clinic or something but all I do know is that OT has made a huge impact on our lives and our family and in all of this I mean, I pull OTs speech 554 00:50:01,720 --> 00:50:18,720 and I just see a vast amount of people who have to see them as the beautiful people that they are I could not be any more grateful to them. And, yeah, what they've done for our family and the joy that they bring to my children because my children want to see these people. 555 00:50:18,720 --> 00:50:25,720 They want to see them they want to be, they want to be with them and I couldn't ask for anything more. 556 00:50:25,720 --> 00:50:43,720 Well, thank you so much everyone out there for listening in if you're in Idaho or planning on moving to Idaho and have any questions on systems or services for children with disabilities, please reach out to us on our website at I pull Idaho.org that's 557 00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:56,720 I pull Idaho.org be sure to come back next time huge thank you to Kate for joining me today until then I'm Allison and this has been unlimited parenting. Thanks for listening.